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#slytunkhamen cooper
sleuth-hounds · 10 months
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After a whole day of wandering around, finding civilization and some good water to drink, Sly unexpectedly met up with Slytunkhamen, his Egyptian ancestor. He saw that Sly was a weary traveler and took him in throught the rest of the day until night time.
Here you see the Ancient Egyptian raccoon tucking his American descendant to sleep after such a rough day.
Here's hoping Sly will make it out of Egypt someday and returns to this generation.
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vivivolare · 2 years
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As per requested here are the requested ancestors: Slytunkhamen,Tennessee,Galleth,Rioichi,and of course Henriette.
little notes: As you can tell with Galleth and Rioichi (and maybe Tennessee to an extent), they don’t really follow the thieves in time designs. You see bestie- those designs aren’t really my thing nor is the game so I have my own designs of all the ancestors. Being more based on the trilogy’s designs.
another thing- there’s some characters here you might not recognize but I have technically mention before. (and that one post where explain my own lore bs,but I wanna rewrite it and makes refs n such) They’re just their wives and i wanted to indulge myself with these sketches with them- (Their names n such Slytunkhamen+Tivali,Tennessee+Felina,Galleth+Nimew, Rioichi+Momoka,Henriette+Katherine),you’re finally getting visuals of them! yay!
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kokorodachidanii · 1 year
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Things I want to see in Sly 5
🦝After months, possibly even years of trying, the Prologue Episode is all about Sly’s triumphant return to the present day
🦝Also, the “Sly is Slytunkhamen (I think that’s how you spell it)” thing is handled in the most insane way possible: by pulling a “Roswell That Ends Well” in which it’s implied that Sly fucked Slytunkhamen’s wIFE-
🦝Carmelita gets another furry lapdance (OK, I’m probably one of 8 people in this entire fandom who is completely neutral about The Hypersexualized Fox From The E10+ Games, but this one goes out to all my Carm-obsessed homies 😜)
🦝Even better– Murray gets another crossdressing lapdance!
🦝The gang goes to SPACE
🦝Penelope Redemption Arc!!!
🦝Murray finally gets a boyfriend (I’m thinkin’ Dimitri; yep, I ship it)
🦝Bentley says “rooster-licker” to mean “cocksucker”
🦝The first thing Le Paradox does when he inevitably breaks outta jail is build his own Villain Theme Park™
🦝Sly actually uses his Special Cooper Ability (@swampythesweetsketch hc’d that these’d be like rewinding-time-to-a-certain-extent shenanigans– something I found PERFECT)
🦝Cooper Gang Group Hug!!!!!
🦝Sly and Carmelita’s future daughter appears, and her appearance suggests that they (Sly and Carm) are destined to fuck in two years at MOST
🦝Sly temporarily dies in the penultimate episode and meets his dad in heaven and when he gets back he fucking sobs-
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galactic-dragoness · 2 years
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Vault
“I’m still not understanding why you brought me all this way.”
“Because it’s important.”
“Why is returning to Kaine Island important again? We both almost died here.”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Sly, you know how much I despise surprises.”
“You’ll like this one. I guarantee it.”
Carmelita sighs. The married couple hike through the tropical wildlife, climbing over obstacles and ducking under vines.
“Hold on, I think we’re here.”
The raccoon stops in his tracks. In front of the two there is an entrance to a cave.
The former Inspector looks puzzled. “Is this-?”
Sly simply takes her hand and leads her inside the cave. He takes out a battery-lamp and flicks it on.
The light illuminates a giant, metal door. In the middle there is a indent in the shape of the Cooper Cane.
“So that’s why you brought your cane.”
The retired criminal grins. “Bentley and Penelope engineered and redesigned the entire Cooper vault. I wanted to show you the new look.”
“But...why?”
“Spoilers.”
Carmelita shakes her head. Sly presses his cane in the groove, until he hears a small “ding.”
Like magic, the vault door unlocks and opens, the various mechanisms and gears clicking and whirring like something out of a movie.
Sly and Carmelita make their way inside the vault.
“I wasn’t really a fan of the ‘gauntlet-test’ idea when I first entered. So Bentley and Penelope restructured the vault to make it more...inclusive.”
The raccoon leads the vixen to the center of a large, dark chamber. In the middle lies some sort of podium.
He gestures to the podium. “Put your hand on the black, shiny part.”
“...This better not be a prank…”
“Come on ‘Lita, do you really think this is a prank?”
She shrugs, then places her hand on the podium.
Suddenly, the podium lights up, and the room begins to come to life around them.
Several bright lights flash on from above, and the metal doors on the curved walls of the room unlock and open.
“Welcome, Carmelita.”
Says a robotic voice from an unknown location.
The vixen looks around, baffled. The large, circular chamber has a very high ceiling, every surface seems to be coated in a shiny, chrome-like material. Carved on the stone floor is the Cooper family insignia.
Carmelita turns to her husband, confused. “Okay...so the vault’s been refurbished, is that the surprise?”
“Close, but no.”
Sly beckons to his wife, and she follows him to a large doorway forty degrees to the right.
The pair walk into a long hall, the lights automatically coming on as they move.
The hallway is lined with shrines of some sort. Each shrine is decorated with a painted portrait of a Cooper ancestor, with several artifacts from each relative’s era strategically placed on medium-sized stone bases.
Carmelita recognizes some of the names from Sly’s numerous familial tales. Slytunkhamen, Salim, Riochi, Henriette…
Eventually, they approach the end of the hallway. To the left sits a recently added shrine, with Sly’s portrait, as well as several trinkets: a calling card, an old binocucom, clue bottles…
To the fox’s right sits another shrine, covered in a cloth tarp.
“Who-”
Sly grins. “Why don’t you find out?”
He gestures to the covered shrine.
Carmelita, very confused but curious, approaches the concealed shrine, and removes the tarp.
The shrine is revealed with a portrait of…
...a fox.
Her breathing hitches in her throat. It’s her portrait.
When she looks down, her stone base is littered with roses, her old badge, an empty champagne bottle, and a guitar pick.
She turns to her spouse. “I...I don’t understand…”
Sly’s grin only widens. “You married me, you’re part of my family now. Look.”
He points to a golden plaque on the stone. It reads:
Carmelita Montoya Cooper-Fox
The woman who lifted the curse of Clockwerk
May her name be remembered forever
Before she can stop them, tears come streaming down her face.
“S-Sly, it’s...it’s wonderful. Thank you.”
He embraces her, and she had sworn that she saw his eyes glisten.
After a few moments, the couple end their hug.
“So that was your surprise.”
“Yep! You’re a Cooper now! Now there’s two Coopers instead of one.”
“Three.”
He chuckles. “Well, four if you’re counting Bentley and Murray. Actually, five with Penelope too. Well-”
Suddenly, he snaps back to Carmelita, the realization hitting him like a train.
“...three?”
“Come on, Ringtail. Figure it out.”
His jaw drops, and she smiles like they’ve won the lottery.
“You-”
“Yep.”
“We-”
“Yes.”
“How-How long have you known??”
“A little over a week.”
Sly grins so hard that Carmelita briefly worries that he’ll pull a muscle.
“Carmelita, that’s, that’s-!!!”
He runs into her arms and swings her around, the two of them laughing like hyenas.
“I’m so happy,” Sly cries. “I’m so happy! I’m going to be a father!!!”
Their emotional cries echo throughout the vault. Sly wishes they could echo forever.
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Putting all of my Sly fics into one semi-unified timeline because I got bored
1868-1899
William "Tennessee Kid" Cooper is active as an outlaw across various states and territories within the continental United States
197x
"Cunning" Conner Cooper first meets Beatrice "Trixie" Fletcher, during a(n attempted) heist in Milan
1981
Carmelita Montoya Fox born to Zoe Fox Hayek and Antonio Montoya Vulpín
1984
Slytunkhamen "Sly" Cooper born to Conner Cooper and Trixie Cooper, née Fletcher. Murray the hippo born to unknown parents. Bentley the turtle born in a swamp.
1992
Cooper family home/farm/safehouse attacked by Fiendish Five, resulting in two deaths and an orphaning. Sly, Bentley and Murray first meet
2002
Sly and his friends defeat the Fiendish Five. Subsequently, he visits his parents' graves Intertwined Tails: Carmelita confronts a grey-furred, ringtailed security guard
2002 (Omega Timeline)
Sly perishes while fighting Clockwerk.
September 23rd, 2003
Carmelita successfully apprehends Sly, albeit briefly, and learns a surprising personal fact for the first time
2003 (Gamma Timeline)
Inspector S. Cooper unsuccessfully attempts to apprehend Carmelita, and learns nothing
2004
Sly and his friends defeat the Klaww Gang, but temporarily disband in the aftermath Unbeknownst to her 'colleagues', Neyla obtains a sample of Sly's fur from the Contessa's prison, and sets an unusual contingency plan into motion IT: Sly helps Carmelita escape from Prague. Later, they discuss things during a post-adventure helicopter ride
2005
Sly and his friends defeat Doctor M (and a smorgasbord of other dirtbags), and once again disband, this time more permanently. Sly moves in with Carmelita, while Bentley settles down with his new girlfriend, Penelope. All is well IT: Carmelita learns about Sly's unhealthy sleep patterns
2006
Penelope, for reasons which will never become fully clear, betrays the Gang, threatening the Cooper lineage under the guise of a new 'Black Knight' persona. Sly, who had been having trouble adjusting to his new domestic life, decides to deal with this problem without telling Carmelita. She (inevitably) discovers his duplicity and kicks him out, forcibly reverting the Gang to its globetrotting ways
2007
In the heretofore-unmentioned metropolis of Zootopia, rookie cop Judy Hopps and conmammal/ice-cream salesman/tax evader Nick Wilde uncover and foil a political conspiracy, getting two consecutive mayors arrested. Nick begins the process of becoming Judy's partner on the force
May 2008
During the mayoral election season, the world's new largest diamond is uncovered and brought to Zootopia. It becomes the target of both the Cooper Gang (echoing an achievement of Conner Cooper's) and another, hastily-assembled criminal gang. Nick and Judy aid Carmelita in protecting the diamond, while learning more about the Cooper Gang and resolving their own friction
Summer 2008-Autumn 2009
Having forged a strong bond in their week working together, Nick and Carmelita maintain a long-distance friendship
October 2009
Sly and the Gang attempt to finally apprehend Penelope, but the attempt fails badly and they, in desperation, take three separate "vacations". Sly travels to Zootopia, where Judy is happy to see him and Nick is not. However, mere hours after Sly's arrival, a non-living entity targets Nick and implicates him in a gruesome murder
December 3rd, 2009
To the shock of the world, particularly the Cooper Gang and Carmelita, Clockwerk attacks Zootopia in broad daylight. They, Nick and Judy, and young pilot James "Fox" McCloud Jnr. race to resolve the situation before more blood is spilled
2011 (Alpha Timeline)/2018 (Mu Timeline)/2017 (Rho Timeline)/201x (??? Timeline)
Sly, Carmelita, Nick and Judy share an enjoyable evening
2011
Beatrice Zoe "B" Fox-Cooper is born to Sly Cooper and Carmelita Montoya Fox IT: Sly and Carmelita, assisted by Bentley and Murray, handle a job in Madagascar
2012
IT: Sly and Carmelita have their first out-of-the-house date as new parents
20xx (Delta timeline)
Sly journeys into the mythical Kingdom of Monsters and steals the crown of its ruler. He and Carmelita, who naturally followed him, are beset by the Royal Guard
2017 (Mu timeline)
During an undercover operation, Nick and Judy run into Sly, also in disguise. Judy handles the objective while Nick and Sly distract their host, and each other
2022
Sly and Carmelita, raising their daughter in a quiet North American town, are attacked by Elyna, a half-clone of Neyla using Sly's DNA as the 'father'. IT: Sly and Carmelita discuss vacationing to Paris with their two daughters The last point on the main timeline, and the perfect place to conclude this post
2022 (Dreamworks timeline)
Carmelita investigates a recent major crime in Los Angeles, taking her concerns directly to Governor Diane Foxington. The little details, they bother her
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kingncp · 1 year
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So if you look up the ancient Egyptian sword, Khopesh it looks suspiciously similar in shape and design to the iconic Cooper cane.
Not sure if it was intentional or coincidence but it would be pretty clever on Sucker Punch’s part and tie in pretty well to Slytunkhamen, the creator of the Thievius Racoonus and who started the Cooper legacy
Wouldn't be surprised if it was a mixture of both. If you ask them on Twitter they may respond about how they came up with the cane idea.
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How will slytunkhamen look with no neck, just a head floating over a body? Get it from one of the earlier sly cooper cutscenes from the game.
holy shit guys the "anon who clearly has a fetish for raymanized characters" is back
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natakarania · 4 years
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Inspiration: http[:]//www[.]egyptiangeographic[.]com/en/news/show/403
What if Clockwerk and Slytunkhamen were friends? And then time shenanigans happen.
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seirei-bh · 4 years
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Cooper Clan! >:3
I tried to do the ancestors with different colors and patters, because I really love that in Thieves in Times every of them was different and not just bland gray copies of Sly.
I have the headcanon that most of them are hybrids between raccoons and other animals and different breed of raccoons. Only Thaddeus is a full grey raccoon.
And Otto’s desing was inspired by @spjartredesign ‘s design
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overthinkinglotr · 4 years
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I like how in Klaus Enkisat’s Hobbit illustrations the dwarves can stand up and walk around with the barrels like they’re Sly Cooper.
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cinematic parallels
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sleuth-hounds · 1 year
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The Tomb of Slytunkhamen, Part 3
After Shirley told Christopher and Carmelo how to read the hieroglyphic inscriptions, they were ready to resume their journey from America to Egypt. Before continuing, however, Alister decided he needed something to memorize the inscriptions.
"Carmelo, do you have a piece of paper handy?", Christopher asked his partner.
"No, but I do have a notepad. Why?" Carmelo replied with snark.
"To write down the hieroglyphics. Something tells me it's going to be useful once we go to Egypt and have to get through the gate." After hearing this, Carmelo handed over the notebook to Christopher. The arctic fox wrote down the translated inscription on the paper. "Rakun... snek... sqweegl, sqweegl, burd... Done!", he said after finished. He then gave the notepad back to the male red fox.
"This reminds me, there is a show at the theatre that Shirley mentioned. Whoever beats the Sphunx challenge gets two tickets to Egypt!" Carmelo reminded his friend.
"Well then, let's head to that show!" The arctic fox declared.
And so, the two detectives walked a few blocks from the apartment and found the local theatre. One of the posters said "Take on the The Spunx Challenge TODAY! Presented by Antoine Le Paradox." That name of the show's ringleader alone sounded familiar to the protagonists.
Anyways, both foxes entered the theatre. It was crowded, with many critter citizens of all shapes and sizes, expecting an entertaining show. On stage, Le Paradox came out from behind a curtain. He was a handsome and well-dressed skunk. And had a tangible French accent.
"Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, devotees of the uncanny and the bizarre! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Monsieur Le Paradox, and I bear great tidings, an archaeological discovery of earth-shattering proportions! My friends, I present to you... the Sphunx!" The skunk politely introduced himself to the public. He then showed them the Spunx, a giant tomb entrance, shaped like a hippopotamus' head. It had two nostrils which were also for offerings in exchange for the secrets hidden behind.
"It is said she will yield her secrets only to one whose powers are equal to those of Slytunkhamen Cooper I himself! Could one of YOU be that favorite individual? I have come to your fair city today to issue a challenge." The crowd cheered.
Antoine then continued his monologue. "What you see before you is not a pasteboard facsimile, but a perfect recreation of the tomb's outer fortifications. To the ones who make it through the gate, I offer two tickets to Egypt, and a chance for the adventure of a lifetime!"
"Do you feel ready for the 'Challenge of the Sphunx', partner?", Christopher asked to his partner.
"Never have I been so keen to pass through a hippopotamus' mouth, Chris!", Carmelo replied assertively.
Le Paradox overheard their conversation, and decided to make them volunteers of the challenge.
"Ah! There I see a couple of hearty specimens! Gentlemen of the Boulevards, no doubt!", Le Paradox said to them, grabbing their attention. "Give it a try, mes amies! The challenge of the Sphunx is open to everyone, regardless of their age, prowess or physical deformity!" He said, encouraging the partners in justice to partake in the challenge.
Naturally, Alister and Montoya accepted with no hesitation. After all, being detectives of such spunky and adventurous demeanor that would later be inherited by their children, what could possibly go wrong?
Before taking the challenge, however, Christopher wanted to ask Antoine a few questions.
"What's with that can o' nuts toy? It looks oddly out-of-place up there." The arctic fox asked.
"That is no ordinary can o' nuts, mon ami. It comes from the Devil's Toybox!", the French skunk replied.
"I see. And what makes it so out-of-the-ordinary?" Christopher asked, quizzically as ever.
"Far be it from me to divulge the secrets of the Devil's Toybox, but it's just as possible that this can does NOT actually contain NUTS!" Antoine replied to the second question.
Taking this info in, Christopher was willing to take the risk with Carmelo in tow.
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I think that Clockwerk was actually very close to Slytunkhamen, but later Slytunkhamen betrayed him and possibly caused his family or clan to be executed. I personally would love for something like this to be true since it would maybe show that not all of the Coopers we're good people. Like Sly's father was probably a douchebag. As to how Clockwerk lives forever, he probably made a deal with one of the Gods or something equivalent to the devil.
honey, sweetie, baby, THANK YOU SO MUCH for bringing this UP BECAUSE HERE’S A SICK THEORY:
like Bentley and Dr. M before him, Clockwerk was Slytunkhamen’s gang’s “brains”. he was the first Bentley figure in the Sly lineage and, similarly to Dr. M, felt neglected and overshadowed by Slytunkhamen. add to that a nasty argument between the two and you have a psycho owl so driven to get revenge that he actually aspires to kill every single Cooper that comes after Slytunkhamen. if Clockwerk was as smart as Bentley he could probably find a way to keep his body preserved throughout the years, tying into what @ironicsnap said. this would also further enforce the theory that every Cooper had Bentley and Murray figures in their lives but ultimately lost them due to the same issue as their predecessors, making Sly and Bentley the anomaly that stuck together even if Bentley was tempted to break it off after Penelope’s introduction. each and every Cooper we see is introduced as working solo; in the Cooper Vault it’s just portraits of themselves. we know the Coopers have a habit of owning some mighty egos so it makes sense that anyone working with them would eventually feel even slightly under-appreciated.
idk man, brainstorming session of the century
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ringtail-and-wizard · 6 years
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rexatlantic · 6 years
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what have I done
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galactic-dragoness · 5 years
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“ Know I’ll be on my way, should’ve known, now, I feel insane Am I insane?“ What exactly caused Clockwerk's grudge against the Coopers starting with Slytunkhamen all those years ago and how it got more twisted with time
Okay, so this one’s a bit skewed from the lyric prompt, but it underlines the idea of Clockwerk’s origin story.
Enjoy!
The desert moon shone high in the sky, a singular witness to the Ancient Egyptian city below.
However, all was not calm. There was shouting in the streets and the Pharaoh’s guard rushed around in confusion, trying to re-locate the hooded suspects.
Meanwhile, the suspects in question perched on a nearby rooftop, and looked down at the chaos in the streets.
“We should leave,” the first one whispered.
“If we move now, they will most certainly spot us.” The second whispered.
“We cannot just sit around and wait to be caught!”
Before he could reply, a voice boomed down from below.
“IDIOTS!”
A crocodile in rich silks and jewelry strode angrily to the center of the scene.
“HOW COULD YOU LOSE THEM?! CLOSE THE GATES OF THE CITY!! SEARCH EVERY HOUSE!! YOU WILL FIND THOSE THIEVES OR YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE IN BLOOD!!”
The guards quickly scattered in fear of the rich crocodile’s threat, shouting orders to each other. The fat reptile, satisfied by the resolve, harrumphed and stomped down the street in fury.
After everyone was gone, the first figure turned to the second.
“Slytunkhamen, we must leave the city. They know who we are.”
The second figure named Slytunkhamen removed his hood, revealing his raccoon face.
“No, I cannot leave without Iza.”
“Iza?!”
The first figure ripped off his hood, revealing himself to be a furious owl.
“We have prices our heads and you do not want to leave because of some woman?!!”
“She is not just some woman!” The raccoon hissed angrily. “She is the reason why we have so much gold in our pockets! Without her information, we would’ve been executed long ago!”
“She will be fine,” the owl argued. “She is a clever woman. We do not need her to burden us.”
“If her father discovers that she was involved in our thefts, she will be killed on the spot!”
The bird puffed up his feathers in rage. “Is the gold not enough for you?! Now you must resort to kidnapping a nobleman’s daughter!”
“Please,” Slytunkhamen begged to his friend. “Just give me ten minutes then meet me by the small shrine of Ra in the corner of the city.”
The owl narrowed his eyes. “How do I know you will not just run away with the gold?”
The raccoon looked offended. “Do you not trust your own brother?”
There was a pause, then the owl sighed. 
“We will split the riches evenly, then I will meet you by the shrine.”
Slytunkhamen grinned impishly, then hugged the bird.
“Thank you my brother, you will not regret this.”
He pulled away from his feathered companion and the two thieves quickly exchanged the gold between them until it was equal. Then the raccoon sprung away from the rooftop and rushed to find his lover.
“I certainly hope so,” the owl huffed, as he spread his wings and took off into the night sky.
“You WILL marry Lord Creotep, and that is FINAL!”
The elder man then marched away from his tear-stained daughter. Sobbing, the young raccoon woman ran to her chambers and flung herself on her bed.
As she cried quietly, there was a light tapping from her window. Her ears perked up at the noise and she turned to find Slytunkhamen Cooper perched on her windowsill.
“Slytunkhamen! You came for me!”
The master thief leaped into her room and embraced the young woman. She kissed him passionately, and he reciprocated. After a few seconds, she pulled away, puzzled.
“What are you doing here?”
“There’s been a change of plans Iza. We must leave the city. My brother and I were caught robbing the Pharaoh of his gold.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Leave?”
“Yes my love, and I want you to come with me.”
Iza looked away, her eyes deep in thought. “But Slytunkhamen…”
The raccoon tilted her chin up and looked her in the eyes. “I know I cannot give you what your father has given you. But I will make you happy, even if it means I must steal the moon for you, I will do it happily.”
The young woman paused. “I have no choice then, father wishes for me to marry Lord Creotep.”
Slytunkhamen reared his head back in disgust. “That fat crocodile? Outrageous! He is not worthy of you.”
She blushed deeply, then she broke away from her lover. She crossed her chambers and opened a decorative chest in the corner.
Iza quickly grabbed several things and placed them in a small sack. Then she turned back to Slytunkhamen.
“I am ready.”
“IZA!”
The two raccoons turned to the source of the voice. Making haste, the thief grabbed his lover by the hand, and they leaped out the window.
The servants looked at the pair of raccoons in alarm, running through the courtyard and exiting the nobleman’s grounds, into the city.
The elder raccoon entered the chambers of his daughter, looked around, and screamed in fury.
On her bed was the Cooper calling card.
The cloaked owl hid in the shadows near the small shrine of Ra, his talons tapping the ground in anticipation.
Suddenly, two figures dropped from the nearest rooftop, one male and one female.
“It took you long enough,” the owl hissed furiously at the two raccoons.
But before Slytunkhamen could reply, there was a loud cry.
“SEIZE THEM!”
The three figures turned to find a small army of guards running towards them, led by Lord Creotep himself, his face red with rage.
The raccoons and the owl swiftly turned and ran in the other direction, only to find several guards blocking the other way.
They were trapped.
“Up!” The owl exclaimed.
He grabbed the two raccoons with his talons and flapped his wings with all his might, giving the three of them enough height to jump on the rooftop and sprint away.
“AFTER THEM!”
They jumped from rooftop to rooftop, trying to outrun the Pharaoh’s guard, but they were in hot pursuit of the outlaws.
The bird suddenly had an idea. He flew up several meters into the sky and dropped a jar filled with a mysterious substance on the streets below. Once it hit the ground, it exploded into flames, causing the following guards to grind to a halt.
Meanwhile, Slytunkhamen and Iza jumped down from the roof of a hut and into an open street, nearing the canal where the boat waited.
However, the thief stumbled, and dropped his share of the gold.
He hesitated, but then kept moving, abandoning his share.
His feathered brother saw this, and in a desperate attempt to reclaim their prize, the bird swooped down and snatched the sack full of riches.
Last mistake.
A guard saw the opportunity, and readied his bow. He fired an arrow towards the owl, and he tried to dodge, but he was too slow. The arrow struck the right wing of the bird, and he screeched in pain.
The owl flapped deliriously, but it was no use. He dive bombed into the streets below and crashed into a nearby cart.
The bird quickly removed himself from the wreckage, and Slytunkhamen and Iza stopped.
“Brother,” the owl called. “Help me!”
The male raccoon looked at his brother, then at Iza, then down the street which led to the canal.
The guards drew closer, their numbers increasing gradually as they began to close in on the three of them.
“Brother! Leave her behind! She will survive, we will not!”
Slytunkhamen looked at his brother one last time, his eyes filled with pain.
Then he grabbed Iza’s hand and ran to the canal.
The owl looked at the two of them running away from him in shock and disbelief.
He had chosen her over him.
His own brother.
The guards quickly surrounded the injured bird and struck him several times, knocking him out cold.
“Awaken, thief.”
Cold water splashed onto the owl’s face as he gradually regained consciousness. 
The bird looked around and saw that he was shackled to the wall, his wings and talons bound.
He was surrounded by the Pharaoh’s guard, and in front of him was the Pharaoh himself: a tall lion wearing a nemes head dress and colorful silk robes.
The royal lion grinned maliciously.
“Ah good. I was hoping you had survived. I have some questions for you, thief.”
He slowly strode over and held up a jar filled with a mysterious substance, the same type of jar that the bird had dropped into the street.
“What is this?”
The bird narrowed his eyes and spit in the Pharaoh’s face.
In response, one of the guards thrust his spear into the bird’s uninjured wing, making him cry out in pain.
The Pharaoh wiped his cheek and growled.
“I will ask you again. What. is. this?”
“It is a jar filled with an explosive substance,” the owl seethed. “Of my own design, why do you care?”
“Interesting,” the lion purred. He turned his back to the owl and snapped his fingers. Another guard thrust his spear into the owl, and the bird screeched again.
“Now,” the large cat snarled. “Why did you steal my gold?”
“Because I am a thief,” the owl said nastily. “Why do you think?”
“So if you and the other one really are thieves, why have I recovered my gold?”
The injured bird opened his beak, then shut it.
The Pharaoh snapped his fingers again, and a third guard pulled out a whip.
“I will ask you one more time: why have I recovered my gold?”
“Because…he chose her over me.”
“Hmm?”
The owl looked down in sadness. “Slytunkhamen chose Iza over me.”
There was a pause, then the lion waved his hand. The guard put the whip away.
He turned back and strode over to the owl. The Pharaoh tilted the bird’s chin up until he was face to face with the lion.
“Yes, he chose her over you. But why? What did he see in some woman?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Exactly.”
There was a prolonged silence, then the owl spoke.
“Are you going to kill me?”
Another pause, then the lion shook his head.
“No. You may have stolen from me, but you inadvertently returned my gold to me. I see no reason to kill you.”
Then the lion smiled.
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you.”
The owl swallowed.
The Pharaoh turned his back to the bird and slowly walked out of the chamber.
“Do what you will, but I want him alive.”
The guards turned to the restrained owl and grinned, their eyes filled with blood lust. 
After days of endless torture and humiliation, the owl was thrown into a prison chamber, the door sealing shut on him.
The bloody, bruised, and starved bird wobbled to his feet.
He was angry.
Not at the Pharaoh, not at the guards who tortured him, but at Slytunkhamen.
After everything they had been through, after every heist and every crime, he had abandoned him.
For a woman he had barely known for a month.
How could he? His own brother?
And after days and days of being left in the dark, with nothing but scraps of food and water, he began to feel it.
Hatred.
An ugly, boiling, furious hatred began to rise from his pits of his heart.
He wouldn’t sleep, he wouldn’t eat, he would just sit in the corner of the prison and burn with absolute hatred.
After weeks in the dark, he began to hear voices. Voices telling him to break free. Voices telling him to find Iza and Slytunkhamen and destroy them.
No. That wasn’t enough.
He wanted to wait until they had had their children, then he would slaughter them, then the next generation, and the next, and the next.
He would wait until the Coopers had spread their influence across the world, then he would kill them all, one by one.
He would show the world that Slytunkhamen Cooper and his family were nothing.
He would get his revenge.
Even if it meant he had to wait.
He could do that just fine.
After a month in prison, the scarred owl was thrown at the floor of the Pharaoh.
“Leave us,” the lion ordered his guards.
The men shuffled out of the royal chamber, leaving the two men alone.
The bitter owl pushed himself up on the ground and faced the Pharaoh.
“I want your help.”
The tall man cocked his head. “Oh?”
“I can bring my partner to you.”
“And what do you want in return?”
“I want to work for you.”
The lion scoffed. “What could you possibly offer me?”
The owl grinned. “Remember the explosive substance you found?”
The Pharaoh’s eyes glittered with curiosity. “You can make more?”
“Even better,” the bird replied. “I can make you anything.”
The Pharaoh grinned.
“Show me.”
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apropos of nothing Good👏Place👏AU👏
Sly Cooper is dead.
But that’s okay! As the well-kept vixen behind the desk explains, there are two halves to the afterlife; a good place, and a... bad place. Because of his tangibly positive impact on the world, he’s earned the rare privilege of entering The Good Place.
“No duh,” thinks Sly, the lifelong criminal. He ripped off other, worse criminals - because it sounded fun, sure, but obviously that was good for the world too, right? But after briefly getting distracted by just how pretty she looks in her sharp suit, he zones back in and realizes she’s... not describing his life. At all. Whoever these nerds are, they don’t think it’s ever right to break the law? 
She’s describing some completely unrelated dweeb who was also named “Sylvester Cooper”. An accountant for a major charity. There’s been a mistake. And if Sly points it out, he’s going to be booted to The Bad Place.
Now more than a little distracted by the huge lie he is saddled with, Sly is given a tour by Carmelita, who introduces him to his new neighbours; the genius Bentley, the glamourous Neyla, and a wise hippo monk who has taken a vow of silence and is definitely not a well-meaning chatty moron trapped in a similar situation to Sly, in case you were wondering. They also have the full disposal of “Penelope”, who despite appearing to be a mouse girl is neither a mouse nor a girl, but an extremely sophisticated AI who quite literally knows everything
From there the plot of The Good Place plays out, but instead of utilitarian ethics and how it’s impossible to have a “good impact on the world” while living in the broken system that is late capitalism, the philosophical core would be refuting the folly of strict deontological ethics. Crime is cool and Immanuel Kant can bite me
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