It’s really rude that I’m too messed up for people

Your T-Shirt.. I can still smell your scent

Me after i stop eating and get my job at California sun :)

Smaller than this

I wake up early, sometimes at 5:30 to run
My mom got too worried, I had to tell her it was fun
Oh, I feel like a failure if I don’t skip breakfast and lunch
I’m chasing a body I know that I’ll never outrun

Cause I’ll always wish I was smaller than this
And I just can’t quit pulling at my skin
Oh, I’m scared that I’m never gonna like
How I look and I wish I knew why
Cause I’ll always wish I was smaller than this

I’ll set a goal for myself and I’ll try to work hard
I’ll reach it but swear I look just like I did from the start
I know that it’s not true but I feel like I’m the only one
Who’s chasing a body I know that I’ll never outrun

Cause I’ll always wish I was smaller than this
And I just can’t quit pulling at my skin
Oh, I’m scared that I’m never gonna like
How I look and I wish I knew why
That I’ll always wish I was smaller than this

I was smaller, I was smaller, I was smaller
I wish I was
I was smaller, I was smaller, I was smaller
I wish I was

I’ll always wish I was smaller than this
And I just can’t quit pulling at my skin
Oh, I’m scared that I’m never gonna like
How I look and I wish I knew why
That I’ll always wish I was smaller than this

19 January 2021

Calories eaten: 753

(X) thrown up

Calories burned: 532

One thing I can’t wait to be skinny for is wearing belly chains, they look so small and dainty loosely draped over an even smaller and daintier waist. My waist will be so tiny people will look at me and say “that’s a body that belly chains were made for”

If she drinks tea every morning the pussy is phenomenal

Peresian mornings

STOMACH HURTS. I ONLY HAD LIKE A COUPLE PIECES OF FRUIT AND IT HURTS SO BAD I HAD TO LAY DOWN. IM SCARED OF IT LIKE EXPLODING OR SOMETHING HELPPPP??????

Sometimes I feel crazy..

And then I remember that I am.👁👄👁✋

Day 1: your starts

Height: 5‘5 ft

SW: 130 lbs

CW: 119 lbs

GW: 100 lbs

UGW: 80 lbs

Since I really try to be hydrated my face is less puffy .. I always thought it comes from the food but maybe I was in the wrong *confused*

My thigh gap is almost gone.

And I don’t want that to happen.

But I can’t just stop eating I just keep going and even if I can fast or restrict for a few days I still gain weight it just never stops. I am back at 52kg and it disgust me so much. I hate how I look, how I feel in my body and how people look at me.

Last day!: 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

1: I’m 24yrs old. Turning 25 in Feburary 😓

2: I’ve been married for 1 ½ years

3: I have a gorgeous pitbull that I love so much 😊

4: I have two older brothers

5: I’m artistic. I love painting, drawing, photography, and currently getting into graphic design.

6: I love to read

7: Favorite color is red

8: I love going to raves/festivals. Can’t wait to start going to those again 😪

9: I want to be a good plant mom but I’m bad at taking care of plants 🙃

10: I wish I lived near the ocean because I absolutely love the water and I want to swim in it everyday.

Stats

5'6"

HW 190lbs

CW 141lbs

GW 130lbs

Golden hour bby~~

Not me catching feelings for the boy my friend wants 😭😭😭