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#smeyer is evil
opinionatedtwihard · 2 years
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You cannot convince me the cullens wouldn't CREATE. In every sense of the word. That Alice wouldn't have a sculpture of light on her wall, woven from strands of Christmas lights, odd bulbs, strobing colors, living on her wall, breathing with her, as she fades in and out of awareness as time wanders slowly by. That Edward wouldn't have binders full of his own musical compositions, piano arrangements of his favorite symphonies that he arranged just for himself. That Emmet wouldn't build a car up from nothing. That Carlisle wouldn't publish literature. Not novels for entertainment, but true, pure literature. He has so much to say. And you cannot convince me that Esme has never gone out and woven the exact textile she wanted her couch to be made of, because she had a vision, a passion, endless time, endless resources to create what she felt in her heart. That Jasper never sought to make Alice a piece of jewelry instead of buying her one.
It goes on and on, but I only believe that where human people say "I'd love to create that, but it's not worth the time and money," the cullens would say "I'd love to create that, and the cost of buying it, the 40 hours of satisfying occupation I lose, is a hefty price"
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neechees · 3 months
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There's a lot of bigoted, very specifically racist movies where white people are like "lets remake/rewrite x movie!" Like i don't know how to tell you that if you tried to do that, the rewritten version would be completely different & unrecognizable because it's central plot/themes/etc rely on racism at their core
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vampvre · 2 years
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smeyer: Jessica Stanley is EVIL, she is a two-faced bitch and a pervert!
Jessica, a literal normal average teenage girl:
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I've been binge reading all your and @therealvinelle 's twilight fics (at least the ones that are completed) and I am o b s e s s e d
They're all insane in a great way and I've pretty much fallen in love with your interpretations of the characters. Scarily, they do not feel OOC at all even though Smeyer would never have written them the way you did. Aro especially is a delight. I always felt sad that their friendship was pretty much dead by the end of BD. Edward keeps making him out to be this evil, power hungry megalomaniac and then you actually meet him. And he is just. He's Aro. I never saw him as the series' big bad, so it's always so weird that that's exactly what Smeyer intended for him to be. And then I came across all of your metas, THEY ALL MADE SENSE AND MY EYES ARE OPENED. But I digress.
I think my favourite fics from you has to be Blue Moon, or Painting Red Madonnas + The Less Than Immaculate Conception
Last Christmas, Bleach on the Brain and Leech in the Rain killed me in the best ways too. I always love stories surrounding Renesmee/Carlie and dealing with her very disturbing bond with Jacob.
I've also read Nebuchadnezzar's Dream from Vinelle and I was laughing through most of the fic and then my heart literally dropped. I look forward to a sequel! The AU spinoff looks promising too!
I am also on the Aro/Carlisle bandwagon as of reading your fics. Congratulations, you've recruited another shipper.
Also I'm curious if you intentionally wrote Carlisle as a sex-positive asexual? He just gives me 'vibes', like he doesn't seem to be sexually attracted to Aro but enjoys sex with him all the same. I really like it as someone on the aspec.
Thank you! Look, @therealvinelle, praise and bandwagon joiners!
Intentionally, afraid not. Officially, at least what we usually intend, Carlisle is supposed to be bisexual if not all that interested in sex/it's not his largest priority in the world and he'll be happily celibate for almost a century and happy to continue but ah...
He always ends up very very very gay. So gay.
"I enjoy musical theater" - Carlisle Cullen, in a fic, actually.
As for the Aro thing, well, he lost the "I am not attracted to this man" battle when in Nebuchadnezzar's Dream he spends several paragraphs explaining how God made Aro's face because it is HOT.
Though arguments of course can be made.
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fuckmeyer · 9 months
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what's crit analysis? --a silly human new to fanfic terminology
p.s. i hope youre super cosy rn and your day is going well^.^
hello tiny text anon & fellow silly human!
critical analysis is the practice of studying and interpreting a body of work! this kind of literary analysis poses different interpretations of a text. it's meant to invite the reader to look at a piece of literature in a new way. imagine looking through a kaleidoscope and changing the focus - it gives you a completely different image of what you're seeing :) that's what i used to write on fuckmeyer 1.0! i wrote primarily on religious themes, feminism, and racial theory, but some essays i wrote as shitposts & crack theories for funsies.
in addition, i had lots of anons who would come into my inbox and ask me questions about fan theories i had, interpretations of x character or y event, and writing theory as it related to the twilight saga (i.e. what was written well, what wasn't, & why). those were always a joy to answer :)
here are some examples of my work!
smeyer’s thorny antithetical: why jacob black’s life matters & how stephenie meyer killed him
🎶when a man loves a woman🎵: true love & womanhood in twilight
the cullen constellation: how generational differences affect the cullen dynamic
why alice is the "most evil" cullen
unfortunately, many of my pieces, such as "what’s underneath The Khaki Skirt™, & other scary stories to tell in the dark: khaki symbolism in the twilight saga" have been permanently lost.
rn the only analysis piece i have posted on this blog, fuckmeyer 2.0, is this shitpost: "'disturbed, depressed, inadequate': Edward Cullen & George Costanza, cringefail twinsies"
thank you for asking!
p.s. i am quite cozy on this sunny day & hope you are doing well too :)
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bellasdumptruckass · 6 months
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i just think i’m general that like we don’t get enough info on how they maintain the animal diet without absolutely fuckinggggggg the local ecosystem (also never read midnight sun so maybe it’s in there) but like, edward can literally read minds i kinda feel like it’s the olympic covens civic duty to eat rapists, and like??? you’re gonna hunt animals in the national forest??? we know they aren’t adhering to hunting season idk i just have lots of questions about the ethics of it in all actuality
Ah I see. Me and my partner actually googled bear population in the Pacific Northwest at one point and our conclusion was that Emmett could eat a bear every other week, maybe even a few a week, and not make an impact. It sounds like when they hunt, they often go far away. So I think it's possible they purposefully feed from different areas all the time to not destroy the local ecosystem.
Now Edward eating mountain lions -- fuck that guy. Pretty sure those are like very endangered everywhere. so he can die for that
Also, there are certainly animals that exist in abundance, and I assume they focus on those. I assume hunting seasons exist because there are thousands of hunters -- if they all hunted year round, then sure, that would be bad. But 7 vampires? That number is multiple orders of magnitude lower. I really don't think they're doing much to the local deer population, or whatever it is they have in Washington. Cars take out more deer in a day than the Cullens do in months.
Additionally, it's very possible Carlisle invests in environmental protection shit for this reason. Like that's not a detail that smeyer ever mentions, but like I think it would make sense.
Pivoting to why don't they just eat bad people- - I agree that Edward could use his powers for greater good. But I also understand the desire to just not eat people period. I love joking about how he's a loser for not eating all the rapists, but on an ethics level, I get why that would bother him or anyone else. It's still a person that you're draining the life out of, and even if they're bad and do horrible things, the act could still take an emotional toll on you. So I get the canon position, but I also love fanfic authors who take Edward's gift and run with it to make him a killer of only people who do evil.
Lastly, at the end of the day... this is a silly little story written by a woman we all seem to agree does Not know how to worldbuild. So yeah, some of this shit makes zero sense. How do vampires still have hair after hundreds of years if the venom doesn't affect that part of their body? Why do the Cullens live in a smalltown, which has a culture infinitely more personal than a big city (meaning, people gossip, they're nosy, etc. because everyone knows each other). like, it's very silly.
So I get why this issue bugs you -- it is something that has made me go ??? before -- but also, it's a detail that Smeyer just.... didn't think about. So like. I think making head canons about HOW they maintain their diet is interesting and fun, but pointing out the issue and ruminating on it might just drive you crazy!
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An underrated aspect of Twilight is how as you read the books, you start to forget that the Cullens are vampires. Because of the way Smeyer constructed her vampires to be somewhat unassuming, as a reader, Edward begins to feel like just a guy (an incredibly handsome and chilly guy, but a guy nonetheless). I kind of love this, because you'll get so caught up in the drama of the story and then suddenly someone gets juiced by a vampire and it's like the shock of finding out what the Cullens are all over again. I think this is kinda clever honestly. It makes Bella's feelings more understandable. She feels the same way. She sees no wrong, no evil in Edward because he's become her person, vampire or not. But then whenever something vampirey actually happens, she gets an unwelcome reminder of the world she's stepping into (think the Volturi murdering a group of travelers at the end of New Moon or Bree straining not to kill Bella at the end of Eclipse). In a strange way, it almost makes the Twilight Vampires scarier than a traditional red-eyed, fang bearing, chalky, bat transforming, type vampire. Sure, they're beautiful and they sparkle in the sun and that seems kinda lame, but then you remember that they do all of these things to draw people in (don't get me wrong, though. I miss the fangs too). And once a Twilight vampire has drawn you in, there is quite literally no escape. There is no defense, no other option than to just…succumb to their power over you (and most likely be unalived). Idk man, I think it's pretty funny how one second I'll be like "hehe look at sad emo teenage boy, Eddie" and then three seconds later I'm like "Well, shit. He just tore a woman's head off. Uh…"
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beardedmrbean · 14 days
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Averbode Abbey, a Norbertine abbey in Scherpenheuvel-Zichem (Flemish Brabant) has emerged as Belgium’s hotspot for exorcisms. More than 1,000 exorcisms take place here every year. Historian Kristof Smeyers (Leuven University) and "Geert", one of Flanders' official exorcists, explains the renewed popularity of 'devil exorcisms'.
An 'exorcism' may mainly have seemed something from the past. Yet it still happens today. "I do 3 exorcisms a week and not a day goes by without new requests," Geert, an official exorcist, explains. ("Geert" is a pseudonym, but his real name is known to our news team).
It asks a lot of him, in addition to his pastoral work "to listen to these people's stories and to try to set them free". Geert says he is no exception. "I often hear that even in other parishes they can hardly keep up with the demand".
Not like in the movies
"Exorcism has been around for a very long time," explains historian Kristof Smeyers (KU Leuven). His research 'Devil's Displeasure' tries to chart the history of exorcism in Flanders.
"At some point, the church felt that there was a need to incorporate these practices, which had existed for centuries. In the 17th century, the procedure was then written down step by step. Not much has changed since that day."
Geert learnt about exorcism from such works. "There are also courses in exorcism in Rome and I would like to take one someday. Exorcisms are not actually that spectacular, unlike how they are sometimes portrayed in films like 'The Exorcist'."
If it doesn't happen like in the famous horror movie, how is it done? "It starts with an exploratory conversation," Geert explains. "The person freely, and in full confidence, tells his story. This is followed by a long prayer to set him free. Nothing physical actually happens."
"The essence of an exorcism is engaging in dialogue with evil," adds historian Kristof Smeyers. "The manuals recommend caution, because the devil is the father of lies. So anything he says can be a lie."
Who chooses for an exorcism?
According to Smeyers, people who are possessed do not display uniform symptoms. "These symptoms change a lot over the centuries," he explains.
In the 19th and 20th centuries, for example, it’s mainly "physical symptoms" that occur. "In general, alarm bells go off when someone shows abnormal behaviour". Think of 'accidents' that occur but seem to have no explanation.  They can raise suspicions of the devil."
The historian does see a clear distinction between those who are convinced "that the devil dwells within them" and those whose surroundings are convinced of it. "There’s a disproportionate number of women who are said to be possessed by the devil or demons. There is a dominant theory that women are more prone to sinfulness and evil."
Geert sees a pattern in the people who come to him. "They are people who are stuck and cannot move forward in life and blame it on the presence of a superhuman force. We live in uncertain times. People have less to hold on to and find it harder to explain things."
Can exorcism offer these people real liberation? "It doesn't happen automatically” explains Geert ,”but about half the people say they feel better and are able to move forward once again."
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edwardcullenisavirgin · 2 months
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Breaking Dawn would have been so much better if the Loch Ness monster didn’t exist (obviously). So I was thinking about how SMeyer could have written it while still having a lot of the same plot beats. Instead of the whole Immortal Child™️ plot line, it would have been so cool if the Volturi were coming to collect the Cullens and their allies for their powers:
That’s the whole thing with the Volturi. To me they read very imperialist. They go around imposing themselves on small vampire communities and taking what is useful to them.
Edward is constantly mentioning how Aro has always wanted Ed and Alice to join them because of their talents. In New Moon, Aro also expresses interest in Bella’s possible talent. Therefore, once she turns, he would of course be poking around the PNW for Bells.
It could have been cool for Alice to have two visions. The first being the Volturi coming, with a lot of the Cullens friends in tow, seemingly unwilling to be there. In order to collect the powerful Cullens. The second being the Volturi coming, and the Cullens being with their friends fighting together.
Then the plot post vision could be about developing their vampire powers. Which opens the door to exploring established vampire lore throughout the series. That would be much more interesting, and tbh fun.
Also then it ties a better bow on how things end with the Volturi. Rather than them just being like damn okay see ya. Like no! All we’ve been told is that the Volturi don’t mess around and they are out for blood. Let them be evil!
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fuckyeahilike · 11 months
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This is so interesting to me, so I'm making a post addressing it.
Readers of this blog are aware that I’ve been puzzling away at this irrational persecution of one of the most innocuous writers I have ever known, one that’s been going on for, what, 15 years, at least? So whenever a new piece of information seems to present itself I jump at the opportunity to make heads or tails of it.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but this appears to be saying that:
1 - Stephenie Meyer is a card-carrying, tithe-paying member of the Mormon religion.
2 - This religion is “brutal” (?) So paying them money is being a willing accomplice of their brutality against someone or other.
3 - The brutal ideology of this religion is present in her Twilight series of books. This also makes them artistically invalid.
One of these days someone should add to the long list of misogynist rules the rule that every woman author must always be accused of writing “harmful” ideology that literally murders people; her authorship must either be erased and re-assigned to someone else, or her cultural legacy in itself should be erased altogether; and she should either be denied payment for her work or the money should be taken away from her and redistributed to someone/something else who is always more deserving - but then who isn’t more deserving than a vagina-haver?
Sound familiar? To a feminist everything about the idea of how women should be silenced and invisible and their ideas and glory stolen by a man, and not get paid for their work or their money be given to a man, everything about this is only too depressingly familiar.
So, addressing the accusations:
1 - It’s not a crime to be a member of the Mormon church, and everything I’ve read about them makes them an American equivalent of the Catholic church, a religion I am infinitely more familiar with as it’s the traditional religion in the European country where I live. 
Meaning that no one is forced to be a member or to follow their rules, and that those who choose to disobey or to leave it are not met with horrible punishments like with Jehovah’s Witnesses, who practice the horrific shunning.
Having said that, where’s the proof that Smeyer is a Mormon? She’s lived her life so far as a libfem, not as a trad wife, and Mormon is as Mormon does. I know Catholics and none of them is a tradcath. None of them supports the sexual abuse of children perpetrated by so many men in frock. They’re still Catholic alright, but in their own way, and they’re not responsible for the evil that others do.
2 - When I looked up in what way Mormonism is problematic what turned up was that Mormons have tried to pressure law makers into not adopting gay-friendly laws, like gay marriage.
And? There appears to be no such thing as a global religion that isn’t homophobic. Why aren’t other famous authors also being held responsible for the homophobia of the religion they were brought up in by their parents? Is it because they have a penis instead of a vagina?
Show me proof that Smeyer has ever personally subscribed to homophobic beliefs, instead of saying that she is responsible for the homophobia of others. If you can’t show me proof that SHE is homophobic, don’t bother replying. We’re all busy people here.
And finally,
3 - In what way are her books Mormon and harmful in content, assuming that by “Mormon” people typically mean a very Conservative, Christian ideology? Is it in the fact that the protagonist is an atheist feminist woman who does what she wants? Is it in the fact that there are only two Christian characters in the book, both of whom are pro-abortion? Is it in the fact that Twilight presents as fact that the Quileute spirituality is real and Christian spirituality is purely subjective? We see Quileute transform into the wolf that is the Spirit Animal of their nation all the time. At what point in the story does Jesus or the Holy Mary make an appearance to prove that they are real? 
Remember, I have read the novels. Show me the screen caps of the parts of the books where Jesus shows up proving that he is real, or don’t bother wasting my time. 
Finally, it must be said that an undisputed genius like William Shakespeare (a gay man, btw) was astonishingly antisemitic, misogynistic and just generally against the empowerment of oppressed demographics. And no one is ever going to cancel the Bard because a) he had a penis; and b) he was a genius. 
I’m not saying that Smeyer is also a genius, even though you have to have a genius IQ in order to win a scholarship like she did as a young girl. I’m merely saying that it’s not true that morally objectionable content is also automatically poor in artistic quality. If that were the case then Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew would be rubbish. But this is American puritanism and its mania for persecuting others. 
And it’s this puritanical thirst for persecution that Stephenie Meyer has been dealing with for the past 15 years.
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What fics are you currently working on?
oh, this is such a fun ask, thank you! (also if anyone sees these and wants to ask more about any of them i will ramble forever.)
i am very slowly working on updates to three of my published fics:
the truth of it, an au ending to new moon (alternatively titled 'bella jacob therapy speedrun' bc i love making characters talk about bella jumping off a cliff and harry clearwater dying)
as the ring on my cold finger, a bella-runs-away-at-the-wedding fic (that has currently stalled out just a teeeny bit because of the fact that bella has promised the volturi she will become a vampire & i can't imagine them taking 'what if i pinky promise not to tell anyone' as a reason to leave her human; i am currently brainstorming a very convoluted plotline about her faking her death to get around it, but oof.)
& of course, saving jacob part 9, which is getting sloooowly expanded. (vampire-hunter strategy meetings are so hard to write bc these vampires are so fucking overpowered but i am doing it through sheer force of will and paul making so many snarky comments)
and then i've got assorted wips rattling around, including:
billy/charlie brokeback mountain au!!!
[untitled fic request] (that i will finish bc they asked very nicely, jacob black has a daughter & i decided she's named sadie in honor of sarah)
vamp hunter renesmee au (ft jacob black and a strictly platonic road trip, smeyer wtf why would they EVER be a couple)
victoria bites bella during new moon (alternatively titled unhinged evil lesbianism)
tent scene version 2.homoerotic
embry gives quil a shitty tattoo
bella mental breakdown haircut ft jacob black & the bois
after That Scene in breaking dawn, charlie calls billy
angela is a morning person & leah is a night owl but they are very much in love
jasper teaches maría how to ride a horse
what REALLY happened in calgary (aka the unhinged murder-smut jasría fic i never thought i'd have the courage to talk about or publish but have recently been cleaning up)
deeply self-indulgent trans beau swan fic
life-and-death epilogue with consequences
bella and beau are twins (aka I HAVE SUCH A GOOD IDEA FOR THE NEW MOON POINT OF THE STORY IN THIS AU AND I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME SUMMON THE ENERGY TO GET THERE)
and then i also have open documents revising 2 of my old one-shots that i'm not quite satisfied with, and the continuation to "call it a favor," my maría-comes-to-help-during-eclipse fic, which is so unlikely to ever be finished i didn't want to count it above but i do open it and write some sentences every once in a while.
(plus a bunch of percy jackson fanfic but we don't need to talk about that here)
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opinionatedtwihard · 2 years
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Today's AP lit question was about hierarchy lmaooo. Shoulda written it about Twilight. Bella's inherent inferiority drives her to crave Vampirehood, representing her desire for power, safety, and eternal romance, ultimately suggesting that the desire for immortal Vampirehood is as human as the desire for any abundant source of power and security.
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neechees · 1 year
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Looking back on Twilight criticism is so funny because mainstream crit (that I saw anyway) was all focused on "Ew girls like it" when literally the ENTIRE BOOK NEEDS CRITICISM IT STARTS WITH A CREEPY DUDE WATCHING A GIRL WHILE SHE SLEEPS AND WHEN SOMEONE ASKS "How much racism will Smeyer add?" SHE ANSWERED "Yes."
Exactlyyy. White ppl will like hide behind any type of marginalization they face (like misogyny, homophobia, etc) when they wanna dodge either being accused of racism, or things they like that are racist & being critisizes for that racism, even when said marginalization has nothing to do with it.
Twilight itself is an extremely misogynistic book, where it places White women as the ultimate standard of femininity, particular thin rich White women who are stay at home moms, home makers, etc, and places all other women as not as good or "pure" as them. Bella at 17 literally looks after her dad and cooks and cleans for him. Leah is demonized as a Native woman for literally no reason & gets used as a punching bag throughout the film & books. Abortion is seen as "murder", even when the fetus is slowly killing the mother & clawing its way out of her. There's more obvi but those are just a few examples.
But even if you ignore the racism or misogyny (which you shouldn't) it also romantisizes abuse, what with Edward fitting ALL "signs that your partner is abusive" ticks.
If you ignore the romantisization of abuse, it's also classist: the Cullens are upheld as this angelic set if vampires who are literally billionaires, and could go any fucking place in the world, but they decide to go to the one place they agreed not to go near (due to a treaty with the Quileute Forks) & where they were literally already colonizers who disrupted & harmed the Native population & where they're a threat to the Quileute & they go there for no reason. Edward replaces Bella's old car that her dad & Jacob had fixed up for her (which she had already stated to adore, one reason being that she has an interest in old things) with a sports car, purely to one up Jacob. They all drive various sports cars & Alice routinely wears & throws out clothes. They're held up to this romantisized standard against Bella & the Quileute tribe's middle to lower class status, & this is meant to be another point of why Edward is supposedly better than Jacob (because he is rich).
If you ignore the classism, racism, & misogyny then there's also the weird Mormon ideology literally baked into the entire series, & it can be considered essentially Mormon propaganda. The Native characters are demonized, obviously (considering Mormons literally think Native people are evil). None of the vampires have tattoos but all the werewolves do, & according to the lore, any and all tattoos get removed after becoming a vampire (which is what Mormons believe happens to tattoos in their afterlife). In the books, any poc who become vampires become pale regardless of their skin color in life, & again, this is what Mormons believe happens to poc who become Mormons & enter the afterlife. The whole "no sex before marriage" thing & the abortion thing. Bella & a lot of the other non-demonized female characters dress pretty conservatively, & Edward finds a full length skirt sexy & "indecent". The (white) vampires are repeatedly compared to "angels" & called beautiful & perfect. Other non Christian, non-Mormon religions (& the people that belong to/practice them) in the series are routinely demonized & mocked. Vampirism, but namely for the White characters, is literally an allegory for White Mormons in heaven.
If you ignore all the above and a bunch of other bigoted & weird shit in the series that I haven't yet mentioned, then it's genuinely just very dumb & badly written with stupid logic. Bella thinks it's weird how the Cullens all have really old names when HER name is literally "Isabella Swan". The Cullens literally hate the Quileute & "werewolves" for no fucking reason since they literally trespassed on Quileute land as colonizers in the 1800s, & it's already been established that the shapeshifters aren't even actually real werewolves in the lore so therefore they have no inherent quarrel with them based on the vampire vs werewolves thing, so they just hate them for no reason. The vampires keep going to high school & learning the same shit over and over again when they could be going to COLLEGE or idk doing something productive. Jasper apparently has to teach the Natives how to fight so obviously Smeyer has never seen a rez fight. Jasper is considered a "newborn" even though he was literally turned in the 1860s. Bella gave her kid the dumbest name ever. Ppl have been memeing & making fun of this series since it came out, & I feel like it's hypocritical for twilight fans to both say "ppl only hated it because girls liked it but its actually really good!" While also saying they find it hilarious even the actors made fun of it & hated making it because of its many faults (like so you agree? People made fun of it even back then?) And while also saying they "enjoy it critically" meaning. They admit there's something wrong with it, but still get mad when ppl critisize it.
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4ugury · 8 months
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‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎‎ ‎ a private multi-muse, extremely private ! ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎‎ ‎ 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 33
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‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ LITERATURE, FILM, TELEVISION, VIDEO GAME.
the sun illuminates only the eyes of the man but shines into the eye and the heart of the child. — ralph waldo emerson
MUSE SPOT LIGHT : HARLEY KEENER & JESSE TURNER !
disclaimer: as this blog is labelled, i am extremely private- coming off of "do not follow first", i may return to that status though as comfort dictates ( i am not follow for follow, i follow only those i intend to write with )! also most of these muses are written from memory, and memory can be faulty, so consider a lot of these headcanon inspired & canon div.
RULES PAGE, PINTEREST, SPOTIFY.
activity warning: fluctuating day to day
CANONS.
⁍ ㅤatreus, ㅤgod of war, ㅤin game model, ㅤ15ㅤ &ㅤ all pronouns ⁍ ㅤalec, ㅤtwilight, ㅤoscar novak/nathan o'toole, ㅤ12ㅤ &ㅤ he/they *anti smeyer ⁍ ㅤben braeden, ㅤsupernatural, ㅤtyler lawrence gray, 25 & he/him ⁍ ㅤbruce wayne, ㅤgotham, ㅤdavid mazouz, ㅤ10 - 17 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤchris halliwell, ㅤcharmed, ㅤnicholas galitzine, ㅤ21 & he/him ⁍ ㅤconnor angel, ㅤangel, ㅤlouis partridge ㅤ* heavy canon div, ㅤ16 ㅤ & ㅤ he/him ⁍ ㅤdenzel, ㅤffvii: ㅤadvent children, ㅤmovie model, ㅤ11, ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤeli hale, ㅤteen wolf: movie, ㅤvince mattis, ㅤ15 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him * anti jeff davis ⁍ ㅤgarfield logan, ㅤtitans, ㅤryan potter, ㅤ20 ㅤ&ㅤ he/him ⁍ ㅤharley keener, ㅤinsomniac's spider-man based, ㅤlucas lynggaard tønnesen, ㅤ21 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤhenrik mikaelson, ㅤto ㅤ& ㅤtvd, ㅤlouis partridge,ㅤ 15 ㅤ&ㅤ he/him ㅤ* anti plec ⁍ ㅤhenry, ㅤthe walking dead, ㅤmatt lintz, ㅤ17 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ㅤ * heavy ㅤcanonㅤ div ⁍ ㅤjack ryan,ㅤ bioshock, ㅤarchie renaux, ㅤ24 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤjason todd,ㅤ titans, ㅤchristopher briney, ㅤ22 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤjesse turner, ㅤsupernatural, ㅤherman tommeraas, ㅤ25 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him. ㅤ* canon div ⁍ ㅤjordan kent, ㅤsuperman & lois, ㅤalex garfin,ㅤ 16 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ㅤ* s1 only ⁍ ㅤjordan li, ㅤgen v, ㅤlondon thor & derek luh, ㅤ20 ㅤ& ㅤthey/them ⁍ ㅤleland mckinney, ㅤtexas chainsaw massacre: the game, lorenzo zurzolo, ㅤ19, he/him ⁍ ㅤprompto argentum, ㅤff:xv, ㅤin game model, ㅤ21 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤsam riordan, ㅤgen v, ㅤasa germann, ㅤ18 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤseph mccauley, ㅤthe heir chronicles, ㅤjack champion, ㅤ18 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤtim drake,ㅤ titans,ㅤ jay lycurgo,ㅤ 17 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him
❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ test muses: ⁍ ㅤedmund pevensie, ㅤthe chronicles of narnia, ㅤharry gilby, ㅤ19 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤethan winters, ㅤresident evil, ㅤchris pine, ㅤ37, ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤfoster lambert, ㅤinsidious franchise, ㅤharry collett, ㅤ19 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤpeter parker, ㅤinsomniac's spider-man, ㅤgame model, ㅤ23 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him
❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ pending muses: ⁍ matthew lynch, ㅤthe raven cycle, ㅤadrian öjvindsson ⁍ percy jackson, ㅤpjato, ㅤwalker scobell ㅤ* waiting for the show
ORIGINALS.
⁍ ㅤbasilio "basil" yslas, ㅤfalling skies, ㅤxolo maridueña : formerly harnessed, ㅤ ㅤ14 - 19 ㅤ& ㅤhe/they ⁍ ㅤbooth deering, ㅤtwilight, ㅤfinn cole : ㅤdhampir, ㅤ25 / 500+ ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ㅤ* anti smeyer ⁍ ㅤjack atlas, ㅤoriginal lore & story, ㅤnicholas galitzine : ㅤdhampir, ㅤ24 / 100+ ㅤ&ㅤ he/him ⁍ ㅤlogan mahkent, ㅤdetective comics, ㅤlevi miller : ㅤstudent, ㅤ15 - 30 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤmatthew "mattie" gareis, ㅤmisc vampire, ㅤlorenzo zurzolo : ㅤnewborn vampire, ㅤ20 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤmikhail ( hail ) nikolaev, ㅤthe last of us, ㅤsunny suljic : ㅤsurvivor, ㅤ10 - 15ㅤ & ㅤhe/him ㅤ* immune in some verses ⁍ ㅤnicholas "nick" grimes, ㅤthe walking dead,ㅤ colin ford : ㅤsurvivor, ㅤ12 - 25 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him, tied to :ㅤ @leftlimp\ ⁍ ㅤtheodore "theo" pruitt, ㅤhorror genre, ㅤaxel auriant : ㅤconduit of a demon, ㅤ22 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤwaylon coin, ㅤgen v, ㅤjosh mcqueen : alloy manipulation, ㅤ20 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him ⁍ ㅤwilliam moore, ㅤbioshock 1 & 2, ㅤasa butterfield : ㅤonly successful attempt at a "little brother" of original lore, ㅤ12 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him
ALL PERCY JACKSON OCS HAVE BEEN MOVED HERE: hlfling
❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚❚ in development : ⁍ malachi "mal" dumas, ㅤx-men, ㅤtimothee chalamet, ㅤ25 ㅤ& ㅤhe/him, ㅤplasma ㅤ& ㅤstellar manipulation.
damien, 27, he/they ! can be found at: shadowcurse & drowish
ㅤㅤㅤ affiliates : @extr4normal, @hallowburnt & @endfght
highest muse: all original characters, ben braeden & jesse turner, eli hale, henrik mikaelson, henry and seph mccauley.
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absolutely everything that doesn’t make sense about twilight can be explained by smeyer putting absolutely no thought into world building. she built her little sandcastle out of the meadow scene and the plot is the sand she’s shoveling on the fandom as we try to reconstruct something from the mess
okay so what im hearing is that she is the chaotic neutral to jk rowling's chaotic evil. who is chaotic good then. perhaps george rr martin who simply doesnt do anything
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black-rose-writings · 2 years
Text
Reading Twilight - Chapters 21 - Epilogue
Chapters: Preface&1, 2, 3&4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9&10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15&16, 17, 18-20, 21-Epilogue
Phone Call
I finally googled what exactly VCR was, because I have no idea. Like, I think we may have owned one when I was a toddler.
Oof... this is bad.
I totally don’t blame Bella for breaking apart at this moment. Holy fuck. At least she’s an only child.
I’m like... genuinely freaked out. Like, even knowing this is fake and he probably used her old home videos or something, SMeyer can apparently write pretty decent horror, when she’s not obsessing over angelic teenagers. But I guess when women write fantasy it has to be a young adult romance.
Hide-and-seek
Damn, good one, girl.
If that’s how you chose to spend your potential last hours alive, I have no problem with that.
Called it with the home video.
Alice backstory, yay.
But also, like... fuck this dude. SMeyer should have definitelly been a horror writer.
Aaand, fade to black.
An impasse
I had nothing to say to the last chapter. I certainly liked it more than the in-and-out-of-consciousness scenes in S&S, if that counts for something.
“I’m sorry I taste so good.” I get that you’re kinda fucked up now, but that’s weird, even for you.
“Alice had a lot of fun fabricating the evidence” Good for her.
Sooo... her mom married young and now thinks any relationship before 35 is gonna be horrible and fail... or something. I’d buy it more if it didn’t sounds so fucking cartoonish. But what do I expect from a Mormon author, I guess.
Bella is being decently logical. He’s being emo.
This little religious emo is going be the death of me, holy fuck.
An occasion
Alice, that sly little vixen. Guilt-tripping your future sister-in-law/crush into letting you play dress up with her, while she’s injured. That’s... definitelly something.
The angry doggos are gonna be watching, got it.
Angela went and got her short king, I see. Good for her.
He’s being emo again. Fucking kill me already.
Also... proms are evil incarnate and I hate them with seething passion. I’m 100% with Bella on that one. And Edward can go suck ass for doing that to her. (No, like literally, go eat a donkey and don’t do that shit to her again).
And, that’s it. I’m done with this book.
Final thoughts:
It was not as bad as I expected.
Like, maybe I have low standards, but like... it’s not bad? There’s definitelly some garbage, but not nearly as much as I’d been lead to believe. It has it’s WTF moments and Bella’s Edward obsession is kinda concerning, but like... it’s okay?
As I’ve said many times before, I’ve hated Siege and Storm much more than this. I’ve hated the Grisha books in general a lot more than this.
At it’s worst, Twilight is annoying and the characters made dumb life chocies, but that’s about it. At it’s worst, the Grisha books are straight up ignoring genocide in favor of a shitty romance story (and yes, to fill the meme, Twilight is a better love story than Malina and I will fucking fight you on that from now on).
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