when did you start to abandon
your strength...your might
when did you let him seize
your essence, your grace
leaving wounds that scar
when did fear grip you tight
underneath a pendulum’s sway
robbing your inner love
when did you forget
every piece
every part
of your true
whole self?
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I might hang myself right side down
and drip dry my self
from swinging hooks,
so that you might have room
to make a home
beneath my skin.
I want your hands
against these bones which ache,
too much,
for your touch,
and for your heart to beat in unison
alongside the endless murmurs of mine.
I wouldn’t mind having you under this skin,
so would it be too much to ask,
to have you make your way in?
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Triolet Poem #62
Some will still bite the hand that feeds,
yet they will still beg you for more.
More flames are all a fire needs.
Some will still bite the hand that feeds.
Follow the light, see where it leads,
we don't need reasons to lie for.
Some will still bite the hand that feeds,
yet they will still beg you for more.
"The Hand That Feeds", JEP
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point a
My stomach is full
Full of things to say, still
Tongues are useless
Not worth the burn
A dance for two, fire and fire
Its sweet allure
Leaves a bitter taste
Crushing my fingers, one by one
Bound by dread
Why build a sandcastle
Why use bones
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supreme.txt
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Love is many things but it is also an agreement where both parties state their needs, their expectations, their limits. Both must be honest with each other and themselves, and go in with eyes wide open. Things must be talked out loud, and not assumed. Hurts must not be allowed to fester and anything that bothers or upsets you must be brought out to the light even if it is difficult. Communication must always remain open and vibrant for change is inevitable and these conversations must be had constantly. If there comes a time you cannot come to an understanding then please part before bitterness and hurt take over and obliterate every good memory from both of your hearts. Love is an agreement, a pact, a promise, something that must be held in reverence and honored by those involved.
e.v.e.
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I write to you, of you, not because our souls are intertwined,
neither because you're mine or I'm yours,
but because I do not know of any other audience,
for these thoughts, in the form of mere words,
for this fragmented existence,
which reveals through the cracks of past experiences,
to lose itself in the captivating beauty,
that is yourself.
- DG
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before i sleep.
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The Shape of Things to Come
I swear I’m not staring
at her name. It’s only the cast
of each letter, the grace,
re-entry for my memories
carved in clay, all else erased.
That night instead of chasing
stray Northern Lights above
stone walls of an old water tower,
instead of heading back
along dark water, singing
through blue air I’d breathed
for too many seasons,
I arrived at a wheel and a kiln.
I swear I’m not staring
at her face. It’s just
the effect of her making
and unmaking, it’s just
her intense concentration.
Now that I’m right here,
I can’t think of anything else.
I’m only staring at her hands,
I swear. Only her hands.
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Will I ever possess the softness I pretend to have?
— Fray Narte
Gif from: Stealing Beauty (1996) // Dir. Bernardo Bertolucci
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Dear diary
How do I love myself again
When I'm not sure I ever really did
Maybe a time I claimed what was mine
Dropped denial and steeled my spine
When someone I loved wasn't put first
And I still carried out self-care
I cried and supplied needed comfort
I didn't get enough of growing up
And instead of dismissing what I felt
I acknowledged its validity then moved on
Before I let anyone else dictate my worth
Winter too far to freezingly squeeze
All vitality and assurance from my heart
I didn't need an excuse to love
Just the beat of my heart was enough
Every reason was reasonable
Back before I dissolved under the weight
Of expectations--taking credit for wrongs
That were never mine to right
How do I love myself again?
Tear out this page and start afresh
Forging forward on a blank new one
Writing to please me first and foremost
While sharing with those I care
Only that which I can actually spare
Prompts: rip the page out; all gone; excuse the reason
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The clouds are so close by today
Summer plums, half baked already
on their boughs
are begging to drip into our mouths
but the wind has lost its chime
today
All my teeth are trying to scream
I’m the dusty plastic plant
that you’re tired of watering
Look
Look at me like I can still breathe
Touch me as if I’m warm
Hold me as if I might be going somewhere,
someday
I want you to look at me
like that rare bird, who by chance, happened upon our hedge
that day
by chance I came across your face
in a crowd and it sang to me
at a frequency only I could hear
You
pluck my nerves like a harp
Let me shiver you
like the clouds when they’re so close
that we’re in them and you say
Look
Look at the clouds
there’s one shaped like you
as if you were a painting
by one of the old masters
Look
Look at you drifting
so beautifully away
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SILENT IS THE NIGHT.
Silent is the night,
when everyone's asleep,
No one hears my pain,
no one hears me weep.
Everyone's in dreamland,
and no one will ever see,
How lonely is my night,
how I ache to dream with thee.
@Ambrose Harte
@Scattered Thoughts
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And at the end,
I suffer the fate
of meeting my own self,
a
thousand
times
over
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my ghosts within
In the midst of what seems mundane lies a hidden world
Ghosts surround me, accompanying my every step
The lost, the unmet, the real, the imagined
These translucent entities haunt and console me
Wispy figments shift in and out of awareness
Subdued whispers, their presence felt but never seen
What may seem ordinary masks profound challenges
I push aside my ghosts who yearn to be acknowledged
Fragile mind oscillates betwixt clarity and confusion
A perpetual struggle to live in the present
The universe is littered with daily reminders
of what once was…
of what could have been…
of what I have lost…
of what was never mine…
of what will never be…
Every hushed whisper, every reverberating echo
My ghosts represent these fragments of my narrative
An incomplete history of distortions and illusions
Leaves me feeling incomplete
So, who am I?
What may often be overlooked carries significance to me
Unanswered questions ignite chaos within my mind
I navigate an unsolvable labyrinth of mystery
External investigations cannot unveil these buried truths
Healing lies in reconciling with my ghosts within
Dialogue with them holds the key to my liberation,
Clearing away the misty fog that clouds my perception
By forgiving the past and accepting the unknown,
I can release my ghosts from my internal world
Empowered, I can forge my own narrative,
Finally discovering who I am
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Truth is that the heart needs more forms of love from your partner than just romantic love. It needs the nurturing and unconditional love like the one that comes from a parent. It needs the love that helps you achieve your maximum potential, that empowers your virtues and is patient with your flaws like that of a teacher. It needs the love of a friend who will listen without judgment, who will laugh with you and be your confidant and accomplice. It needs the devoted love of a healer who will tend to your wounds and hurts and never turn a blind eye to your suffering but rather help the healing process knowing all the time the healing and the timing is all yours. Love is more than just romance and passion, and sooner or later it will die out if you do not nurture all the other faces of love. For if love has a thousand faces, how bland would it be if my love for you were the same one all the time.
e.v.e.
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