A collective list of every nickname Ed has given Voldemort in Snipers
Snipers Solve 99% of all Problems by @silentwalrus1 on Ao3 up to chapter 85
Lord-
Wal de whatever
woogie boogie
fuckaroni
macaroni
fettucine
alfredo
carbonara
volleyball
vermicelli
rigatoni
wahoonie
whackadoodle
tortelloni
calamari
bucatini
volumetry
vaudeville
vasectomy
vasculitis
ventriloquy
valedictorian
vacuole
vagrancy
volgograd
veranda
wastebasket
windmill
wingwang
Waitlist
warthog
waterbed
vegetables
wiffleball
watercolor
wader boots
waterballoon
wickergate
vinyl player
vanilla bean
vindaloo
waterbus
variety show
whackadoo
vanity table
vodka sauce
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Your updates have been getting buried in my dash (sadge) but I remebered to check your page today and OOOH HEADCANONS. I love those. Please share more when possible,,,
Comments on the previous ones real quick--agreed on the Engie take for sure!! He's mastered the polite smile (average southern guy) while planning 10 OSHA violations and 30 ways to kill someone with an electrical cord.
And Soldier! Fuck it up king! That's both a top surgery and a shrapnel scar, you heard him. Love men who can do both 💖
i know you didn't request this but I drew it anyway because the idea is too funny to me. 6 am is war story time for soldier, while everyone is captive and not fully awake and has to listen to him (he never went to bed).
here's another headcanon for you. Sniper used to wear big glasses like that (yknow, with the cross bar on the bridge) as a child and teenager (he looked like a serial killer) until he discovered the world of prescription sunglasses. His school photos took a sharp turn after that.
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MY CROSS-FACTION MERCS FIC DROPPED!!!!!!!
The day RED Sniper encountered a BLU Scout who was behaving so strangely that it threw him off guard, Sniper couldn't bring himself to kill him. That decision alone led him to insane discoveries that divided his life into "before" and "after".
What exactly was wrong with this Scout? Who were BLU and RED really? What other monstrosities are hidden from the mercenaries?
And what's up with the "faces"?
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Had fun with prompt generator
Next three pictures are slightly (not explicitly) nsfw. You were warned.
I at least make some speeding bullet content. Yay
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Y'all know I can't resist r63 so behold! Women (and Pyro)
Bonus doodles (including femHeavyMedic and some commentary) under the cut!
Solly has a mullet, here's a better view of that without her headband
Obligatory HeavyMedic, feat oblivious sapphic Heavy and gremlin lesbian Medic
Demowoman taking a snooze
Notes:
Medic looks kinda like Miss Pauling and I didn't realize that until the HeavyMedic doodle. Damn. Oh well I'm not changing the design she's just going to look like an older evil Miss P
Pyro is the same as always, the only difference that they're obsessed with Dinosaurs and the team started out defaulting to "she/her" for them
Scout's necklace is a locket with a single, blurry, worn photo of her mom in it. She would never be able to identify Spy using it, but it means a lot to her
In the specific AU(s) I have in my brain, the only characters who've been swapped are the Mercs and anyone who would need to be swapped for the sake of keeping the logic consistent. So, Scout's Ma is her dad here and Heavy is the oldest of four sisters. However, Miss Pauling is still a woman. I have a specific reason that boils down to "it's funnier"
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SNIPER MARRIAGE LORE
Married Trixie, the Kangaroo Queen of Australia ("Send my condolences to your kangaroo wife", "I'm the king of Australia", "God save the queen")
Divorced her and remarried to GLaDOS (in an interview with John Patrick Lowrie back in like 2014 he said [in character] that he was married to "a very famous robot")
GLaDOS divorced HIM so she could go be toxic yuri with Chell so Sniper went off to do toxic yuri with the Administrator. They're married now. (When the VAs do VA stuff together, they usually make it so Adminsniper is real)
In conclusion, divorce. Thanks for your time.
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Team Fortress 2 Mercenary Ages - given all of the canon information we know!
Scout - 27
In the TF2 Comic “The Naked and the Dead,” Spy (Scout’s biological father) states that Scout was conceived 27 years ago, making Scout 27. This is the only 100% confirmed age.
Soldier - mid 40s to early 50s
It’s stated in Soldier’s description that he attempted to join the army during WWII. If we assume Soldier was a young adult when he attempted to enlist, he would now be in his mid 40s to early 50s during the events of TF2.
Pyro - unknown
There is very little information out there on Pyro. It would be impossible for me to accurately identify their age.
Demoman - mid 30s
The only information I have in regards to demoman’s age comes from a line his mother says in the book “Valve Presents Volume 1: The Sacrifice and Other Steam-Powered Stories” in which Demo’s mother remarks: “No demoman worth his Sulfur ever had an eye in his head past thirty!” Which means Demo is most likely somewhere in his 30s.
Heavy - mid 40s to early 50s
In the update comic “Meet the Director,” it is revealed that Heavy was sent to a North Siberian Gulag in September 1941 alongside his mother and sisters. Heavy also canonically has a PhD in Russian literature, as revealed through his dialogue in the game ‘Poker Night at the Inventory.’ It would take around 9 years to obtain that PhD, meaning- depending on if he obtained the degree before or after 1941, he would be either in his mid 40s or early 50s.
Engineer - early to mid 30s
Engineer designed and built the Sentry under contract from TF industries in 1965, with him also spending 10 years in the West Texas oil fields- assuming Engineer was 18 before this date, he would be in his early to mid 30s during the events of TF2.
Medic - late 30s to early 40s
Medic’s description explicitly states that he was “Raised in Stuttgart, Germany during an era when the Hippocratic oath had been downgraded to an optional Hippocratic suggestion,” This implies that Medic was brought up during, or just before, WWII. The word ‘raised’ heavily implies the Medic to still be in adolescence during this era, making him surprisingly younger than expected, with him being around his late 30s to very early 40s during Team Fortress 2.
Sniper - early 30s
In the Team Fortress 2 comic ‘Blood in the Water’, Miss Pauling directly states that New Zealand sunk 40 years ago- in the same comic, Sniper is shown as a baby in a flashback, 10 years after New Zealand sunk. This makes Sniper out to be 30 or 31 in the TF2 present.
Spy - unknown, estimated early-mid 50s
Given Spy’s secretive nature, it’s difficult to deduct how old he is. However, since he has a 27 year old son, it’s likely that he is in his mid 50s. There is a single comic panel (Found in ‘Unhappy Returns’) depicting Spy’s hair to have a grey tint to it, further emphasising this fact.
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