Labor & Oxytocin
Kali: (bursts through the front doors of the hospital) And this is precisely why I told Blake that she needed to give birth back home, not in some overpriced hospital a continent away.
Ghira: Kali, dearest, please, control yourself.
Willow: Kali, it was the safest option. You said yourself that you had plenty of complications giving birth to Blake.
Kali: And now I'm realizing that over 36 hours of labor is worse than having a few complications. (to the nurse) Blake Belladonna. Where is she.
Willow: Thirty-six hours?!?!
Jaune: Uh, Mrs. Belladonna! What a surprise! Really, truly, a pure shock. Um, unfortunately, even though you are her mother, I'm not allowed to disclose-
Willow: (cuts him off) No! You are bringing us all to Blake's room this instant. (glyph beowulf suddenly appears next to her) Unless you want a pack of beowolves to scour the hospital and we can find her ourselves.
Jaune: (sweats) Yes, Ma'am! Right away, Ma'am! This way, Ma'am! (quickly leads the three to Blake's room)
Blake: (panting and in discomfort as Yang escorts her around the room) This is absolute hell...
Yang: (rubbing soothing circles on Blake's lower back) I know, babe. I know. (kisses Blake's head)
Doctor: Good news. You're only six centimeters away.
Blake: (groans)
-Door bursts open to a very protective mother panther-
Kali: Where's the doctor fucking up my baby girl's labor?!
Blake/Yang: Mom?!/Kali?!
Doctor: Excuse me, Ma'am, but you can't be in here-
Kali: Don't care. What have you done to help my baby girl get the baby out?
Doctor: We have tried everything from walking laps, squats, and bouncing on the labor ball.
Willow: What about oxytocin? Have you tried that?
Nurse: It's written in Ms. Belladonna's file that she's allergic to synthetic oxytocin.
Kali: .....(to Willow) Oxytocin?
Willow: Pleasure hormone.
Kali: They synthesize that? Why? Her wife is right there. (points at Yang before turning to the doctor) Are you seriously saying that you never considered natural stimulation to help my daughter???
Doctor: Erm.... Excuse me?
Nurse: I... think she's referring to pleasuring the patient....
Blake: The patient is right here and can hear you! (groans)
Kali: There's no mistake that the gods put the g-spot in the birth canal. What gets the baby in will get the baby out.
Ghira: (mortified) Good lord....
Doctor: That's highly unorthodox-
Yang: Wait, I can just play with Blake's clit until she dilates?!
Kali: With climax. Ladies always come first.
Yang: Damn right they do.
Willow: It allows the most oxytocin to get into the bloodstream.
Ghira: kill me now....
Blake: That's it! Everyone, out! That goes for you (points to doctor) you (points to nurse) and definitely you (points to Ghira). (turns to Kali and Willow) Respectfully, because I don't want you to... you know...
Kali: Already gone, dear. (kisses Blake and Yang's foreheads before leaving the room, hauling a flabbergasted Ghira with her)
Willow: Best of luck, dears. (strokes their cheeks affectionately) I'll call Weiss and tell her to get here as fast as she can. That baby is going to be here before you know it. (grabs the doctor by the coat collar and drags him out of the room)
Nurse: (follows dutifully, leaving Blake and Yang alone)
Blake: Yang...
Yang: Yes, babe?
Blake: You know the drill. And if this doesn't work, I'm going to kill you.
Yang: (gently lifts Blake up and brings her to the hospital bed) I happen to have a 100% mission success rate. I don't intend on marring that now!
Two hours later, the Xiao-Long/Belladonna family welcomed a beautiful baby into the world. Ghira was still suffering. Kali could not have been prouder. Willow and Weiss squealed with delight. Ruby rand spaztically around the room. Qrow and Raven agreed that the baby was so ugly it was adorable. It was a great day.
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Beaus Fighting Again (Arkos/Ancient Snow)
Weiss: *carrying a bouquet of flowers* "That time of the year again, at least I visit grandfather's grave with mother finally sober."
Jaune: *sprints towards Weiss* "Oh, Gods! They're doing it again!"
Weiss: *turns to Jaune* "Jaune? Wait, who's doing what again?!"
---ELSEWHERE---
Shallot: *dodging a pillar* "PYRRHA! CHILL OUT! IT'S 'CHRIS-MASS'!!"
Pyrrha: *levitating sharpened poles with Polarity* "IT'S CHRISTMAS, AND IT'S DECEMBER 13TH!!"
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