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sungbeam · 1 month

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𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧

nonidol!choi san x gn!reader (no prns mentioned)

turns out your upstairs neighbor has a cat who adores climbing through your window — oh, and said neighbor is also fine as hell.

3.7k words, neighbors au (2 lovers), fluff, maybe like two swear words, drinking, lots of mentions of food

a/n: low-key just read this like ur watching the highlight reel of a romcom lol but @jaehunnyy for u 💖 i hope u like it :'))

It all started about seven months ago when a gorgeous Thai cat waltzed into your apartment via the open window. It was a late July afternoon, stifling hot and sticky, meaning you had your window opened and the mobile fan set up to blow cool air into the apartment.

You were, for once, not at work. Because the art museum you worked at downtown was currently undergoing reconstruction, you were stuck in your apartment trying (failing) to sell prints off your low-traffic Etsy shop while also trying (failing) to make popsicles.

“Why is this so complicated?” You grumbled aloud as you sat on top of your kitchen counter with your knees pulled beneath your chin. You scrolled down the recipe again on your laptop screen, nose wrinkled at the amount of convoluted steps listed. “Too fancy,” you decided, slamming your laptop lid closed.

Immediately, you hissed, lifting the lid to make sure you hadn't cracked the screen from closing it too hard. Thankfully, there were no cracks visible and you breathed out a sigh of relief. You could not afford a broken—

“Holy shit!” You nearly fell off the back of the island counter at the sight of a light gray cat with black tipped ears, paws, and tail seated on the floor before you.

The cat meowed an innocent greeting.

You pressed your hand to your hammering heart and shifted to get a grip on your position atop the counter. “How—? Where…?” Your eyes drifted to the open window.

Oh. Well, that would explain it.

You glanced back at the cat, who peered up at you once more. “Meow.”

Carefully, you climbed down from the counter as to not scare the creature with any sudden movements. “Hey, baby. Where did you come from, hm?” You cooed, extending your hand out as an offer to be sniffed.

The cat unfurled its tail out from around its body and crept toward your hand. With an experimental sniff, you were deemed safe, and the cat rubbed the side of its face affectionately against the back of your knuckles.

Your chest nearly exploded from the cute interaction. You lowered yourself to your knees, gently taking a peek at the silver charm attached around the collar. There you found the engraving of a star in the metal circle.

“I'm guessing this has something to do with your name?” You hummed, reaching up to scratch the feline behind the ears and head. At least you had an inkling that this little one belonged to someone. You just didn't know how to find out who they were.

“I guess you can hang out with me,” you sighed and stood up with your hands on your hips. You didn't mind the company, after all, and maybe this could be a point of inspiration.

About three hours later, the summer sun still hung relatively high in the sky and you were trying to figure out what to feed the cat when there came a sudden knock at your front door. Really, the “sudden knock” was a series of rushed, panicked DUDUDUDU sounds. You nearly jumped out of your skin for the second time in one afternoon, and even the cat seemed to leap.

Well, the cat only looked mildly annoyed that her nap was interrupted, but she seemed content to give a languid stretch and join you in seeing who was so alarmed at your door.

When you peered out the peephole, your eyes shot open.

There was a pretty man at your door.

You glanced down at the cat who looked back up at you. You mouthed to her, pointing at the door, ‘Do you know this guy?’

As expected, she did not answer. Lovely.

You weren't exactly in appropriate garb to see people. You had thrown on something cool enough to not make you melt like one of the popsicles you weren't able to make earlier, and enough to cover any necessary areas. You were sure your hair looked about as luxurious as a barn, and there wasn't a lick of cosmetics on your face.

It was fine, you told yourself. You probably weren't even going to see this guy ever again.

You opened the door. “Hello? Can I help you?” You asked through the chain linking the door shut.

The man flashed you a flustered, dimpled smile at you. His dark hair was damp, like he just came out of a shower, and he had on a muscle tee that was definitely doing its job, and a pair of basketball shorts. “Hi! So sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you've seen a Thai cat wandering around here about yea high—?”

“Meow.” The cat at your feet shoved her way between the gap you made with the door and out into the hallway.

Your eyes widened another smidge, until the man outside released a gasp of relief and bent down to scoop the feline up into his arms. You unlatched your door and opened it fully now, the man holding the cat to his face as if he was communicating with her telepathically.

“That's the cat, I'm guessing?” You mused.

He tucked her back into his arm and his smile became sheepish. “Yes, I am so sorry about her. I came back home from work and she wasn't in the apartment, but thank you for dealing with her for however long she was here.”

You waved off his concern with your hand, sending him a kind smile. “Don’t worry about it, really. She's adorable. What's her name, by the way?”

“Oh, this is Byeol,” he cooed, lifting Byeol's paw up to wave at you.

Swoon. Your smile widened as you waved back at them both. “Well, it was nice to meet you, both Byeol and…?”

“San,” he answered. God, he was gorgeous. That smile… “And you are?”

“Yn.” You shook each other's hands in the dim hallway light.

“Nice to meet you, too, Yn.” He lit up, pointing up to the ceiling. “Hey, I'm pretty sure I'm your upstairs neighbor!”

You opened the door to your apartment wider so you could show him your open window. “Well, that would definitely explain how she got down onto my fire escape,” you chuckled.

He whistled lowly. “Man, cats are scary sometimes. I'll definitely try to keep an eye on whenever she's near my window now.” He ran the back of his knuckles down Byeol's spine. “I don't wanna take up any more of your time, but thanks again.”

“No worries! Have a nice night.”

“You too!”

San began walking back toward the stairs at the end of the hallway, and you were about to close the door when you thought you heard him chastising his cat in hushed tones. You laughed to yourself as you locked up your front door. You wouldn't mind if Byeol came traipsing down your fire escape again.

And she would. About three times a week when San had a later shift at the boxing gym he worked at (yes, a boxing gym… good lord). Byeol oftentimes expected you to have your window open, and if you didn't already have it open, she would sit out on the fire escape until you did.

Two months into the fire escape escapades, you gave up and left the window open just enough for her to squeeze through while you returned to work.

San would always come down to your apartment to retrieve her, and at some point, decided to swing by your apartment on his way up instead just to make sure she wasn't already here.

By month four when the days were shorter and the nights dragged longer and colder, you couldn't exactly keep the window open, lest you wanted to freeze your ass off in the safety of your apartment. Byeol would hop down the fire escape in the evenings when you were back so you could let her in, only for her owner to come barreling down the stairs, dimpled cheeks flushed and exasperated.

“I swear she likes you more than me,” he guffawed from where he stood out in the hallway as he always did. He shook his head as he watched the Thai feline waltz around his legs once, then circle back into your apartment. He arched a brow at her. “Look at her strutting. She knows exactly what she's doing.”

You swore there was a dash of red gracing his cheekbones now.

You bit your lip through a smile. “Well, you're welcome to come in. I was just about to eat dinner and I don't really think I can finish this roast chicken alone.”

“Ah, I don't really wanna impose,” he drawled, scratching the back of his neck and peering at you from beneath those lengthy lashes of his. He knew what he was doing—he had to know what he was doing. If Byeol could strut, then so could Choi San.

He promised to take you up on your offer as long as you let him run upstairs to grab a bottle of wine to contribute.

The last thing you expected to happen was to hear a knock on your window less than ten minutes later. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound, folding over in laughter when you saw him waving to you on the other side with cold-bitten cheeks and a red-tipped nose. He clutched a bottle of red in one hand and gestured furiously to the window latch. “It's fucking freezing!”

“Okay, okay,” you grinned, walking over to let him inside. “Just so you know,” you said as Byeol welcomed her owner into your apartment, “usually it's just cats who come in this way.”

“Well, you might have to get used to a cat and a human coming in now,” he teased. San presented you the wine bottle with a flourish. “Milady, your beverage.”

“Why, thank you, good sir,” you jested and accepted the offering. “Make yourself at home!”

What you didn't expect was for such a statement to be taken so literally, and yet, you had no complaints.

Three months further along—making it seven in total since that first hot July day Byeol came in through the open window—you and San (and Byeol) were cooped up in your apartment as usual. It was a Friday night with dinner on the table, a TV show playing in the background, and a pair of wine glasses for the pair of you. Over the past few months, sharing a dinner together had become a weekly event wherein San would come in via window, and the two of you would have the evening together.

Sometimes it was just dinner, sometimes it was dinner and a movie, and sometimes it was even dinner, a movie, and drunk Pictionary. But every Friday night was yours and San's night.

Plus, he turned out to be a much better cook, so you definitely couldn't argue when he somehow wrestled his entire Le Creuset pot down the fire escape to feed you the most divine lobster mac 'n’ cheese you had ever tasted. (As if you'd ever had lobster mac 'n’ cheese before…)

“I feel like it would just be more convenient if I came up to your apartment instead,” you said with enthusiasm, your free arm flailing around as you melted dark chocolate on a double boiler upon the stove top. While San had the right side of the stove for his chicken and gnocchi soup, you had the left to prepare tonight's mousse for dessert. If San made dinner, you figured you could at least learn a thing or two about a dessert course.

He chuckled, “I mean, I'm not opposed if you ever get tired of hosting. I'm kind of a creature of habit though, which is why I don't mind coming down every week, but it's up to you, sweets.”

Oh, right. And the nickname. You couldn't even pinpoint when that started, but again, you weren't complaining.

“I don't mind hosting either,” you told him, “it's just that it's either you leave your super expensive cookware here or I go upstairs. I don't think Le Creuset has fire escape insurance.”

“You're not wrong about that.” You felt his hand gently brush against your waist as he slipped past you to get to the spice cabinet on your left. “Behind you,” he murmured by your ear before grabbing the jar of Himalayan salt (also his) and returning to his station behind his pot.

You couldn't deny the pitter-patter of your heart around him either. Things were coming to a point that you didn't know how to label. But perhaps that was the beauty of everything slipping into place. You carried on, “I think I've seen your apartment once, and that was when Byeol wouldn't stop meowing until I followed you guys.” You laughed to yourself at the memory. That had been an interesting night.

“If it's any consolation, your apartment has much more life in it than mine.”

“That's a lie,” you said pointedly. “Yours is just more meticulous.”

He snorted. “Meticulous. Might as well be as barren as a clinic.”

You passed him a glance. “I offered to paint your walls…”

San beamed back at you, dimples creating divots in the apples of his cheeks. “And I never said no! But—I do think that it should be something the both of us do together.”

Your brows creased as you took the chocolate off the stove to fold into the other mixture you'd set aside. “You wanna paint with me?”

“Yeah,” he said, almost bashfully. “I think it'd be a fun bonding and learning experience. And it would be cool to see you in your element, besides when you're drunk.”

The latter comment had you turning away to laugh. “Fair enough.”

When dinner was ready to be dined, and the mousse was freezing in the fridge, you and San sat at the kitchen island with your matching bowls of hot soup and glasses of lemon water for the night. Neither of you had remembered to buy wine for the week (surprisingly), but one week without alcohol wouldn't hurt.

The two of you clinked your glasses together, toasting to another week survived.

You took a sip, then spooned the soup into your mouth, wiggling around on your stool in a little happy dance as the flavors did their own dance on your tongue.

San smiled around his own bite. He swallowed, then said, “You know, I always know I did well when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“That cute little dance,” he chuckled. “I’m glad it tastes good, is what I'm saying, sweets.”

Your skin warmed, and you managed to convince yourself it was the soup or the heater or something and not the beautiful man beside you. “Then get used to the happy jig, because everything you cook tastes divine. You should be a chef, San.”

“I could've,” he shrugged, “but I kind of like this little life.” He gestured to you with his spoon, a twinkle in his eyes. “Don't you?”

For a moment, you let the smile slowly unfurl onto your lips. You lifted your own spoon in agreement. “You're right. It's a lovely, little life.”

Now that you were in agreement, you fell into a comfortable silence as you both enjoyed your dinner in one another's presence. Byeol was hunched over her own bowl of food just by the foot of your stool, against the adjacent side of the island. You'd gone out and bought her a pair of food and water bowls, as well as her preferred food. San had been touched by the gesture, and Byeol most definitely appreciated it.

San wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Oh, by the way, next week.”

You hummed. “What about it?”

“Are you doing anything?”

You perked up, eyebrows lifting to your hairline. “Why do you ask?” It was usually unsaid by now that Friday nights were set aside for the two of you to share an evening, which was why you were confused by his question.

And then he explained, “It's Valentine's Day, so I just wanted to make sure I didn't interrupt or assume anything.” He'd said it so casually and easily that you nearly missed the slight nervousness in his voice, or the minor intonation of hope. “I mean,” he fumbled, “if you do have something planned, then it's no worries, really. There are plenty of other weeks—”

You shook your head, finishing off your water after having scraped your bowl clean. “I'm not doing anything,” you said. “Well, besides what we usually do.” You chuckled to yourself, “To be honest, Valentine's Day completely slipped my mind this year.”

And if you were truly being honest with yourself, every Friday felt like Valent—no. You shouldn't think like that. It would only make things worse about how you felt for him now. Plus, these past few months with San felt far too casual, too domestic, to be like Valentine's Day. Was Valentine's Day not for grand gestures and romance? This wasn't grand… though, you could probably argue about the romantic part…

“No, I feel the same way,” he nodded. “My friend Wooyoung just asked today if I was up to go to a single's party, which was why I suddenly remembered.”

Ah. “Oh, are you planning on going?” Wine sounded pretty good right about now.

He grimaced. “Probably not. I—I was kind of hoping you wanted to still do dinner next week—but, like, it doesn't have to mean anything besides how it usually is. If that's what you're comfortable with.”

It doesn't have to mean anything besides how it usually is. What if you wanted it to mean more than how it usually was? There was nothing inherently wrong with how it usually was, but you couldn't deny that a part of you yearned for more. That part of you imagined what it was like if San didn't have to come see you via fire escape, and he was always in the same space as you.

There was a pause as you wrestled with your own conscience about how or if you were going to admit it to him.

He pressed his lips together. “I've made you uncomfortable.”

“No, you haven't made me uncomfortable,” you assured him swiftly. “I just…” You sighed, pressing a hand to your forehead then returning it to your lap. “Of course, I would love to have dinner with you next week, but I’d like it to mean something else—if you are comfortable with that.”

You watched as that beautiful smile you'd come to grow more fond of blossom onto his face. “I'd be more than comfortable with that—I’d be really happy with that, actually.”

“Good,” you said softly, unable to bite your own smile away. “Then dinner next week, it is.”

There was something fundamentally different about this next Friday night compared to the others. Specifically, the context by which you and San went into the Friday evening of Valentine's Day was completely different. The apartment was aglow with the same warmth as it usually boasted, but there was a bouquet of blood red roses in a glass vase on the kitchen counter beside a bottle of red wine.

San was at the stove, finishing off the last bit for dinner before it needed to simmer for a good thirty minutes. You were in the living room portion of your apartment, flipping through the vinyl records to play before you pulled one out and set it up. As you moved the needle onto the record, you placed the empty cover back into its slot and turned toward the kitchen.

You froze in your spot, skin warming at the sight of San leaning over the island counter with an adoring look in his eyes as he watched you. “What?” You laughed, subconsciously adjusting the sleeve of your blouse.

“Nothing,” he smiled. “You're just—you’re gorgeous.”

You were sure if your face didn't give it away, there must have at least been hearts floating around your head. “You cannot just say that,” you chided weakly as you walked over to where he was, your expression growing shy.

His smile widened and he rounded the counter to stand in front of you, your back pressed against the edge of the counter. “I can, too,” he teased. He stepped back once and held his arms out, fingers flicking toward him to beckon you forward. “C'mere. Can you dance?”

“Some.” Your eyebrows arched upward as you stepped forward and took his hands in yours. “Dancing and romancing, Choi San? What magic do you hope to enchant me with tonight?” You joked, moving your left hand to his shoulder.

“Perhaps magic that will leave your window open for me on nights other than Fridays,” he said sheepishly as the two of you began to sway to the music waltzing out from the record player. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your fire escape—”

You let out a laugh, ducking your head toward your chests. He did the same, an embarrassed grin coming onto his face as his nose nudged against yours.

“That was god awful,” he winced in apology.

“It was,” you agreed teasingly, “but I'll let it slide because you're cute.”

He shot you a bright smile. “Oh? So I'm cute? I guess that makes two of us.”

You weren't really sure at what point you realized you had fallen for this man. It was sometime between the Himalayan salt lectures and the dancing like an old married couple in your kitchen, maybe. You thought about the day he showed up at your door panicking about a missing cat, and to a future where you might have found yourself in his living room painting murals on his walls. Or perhaps… not his living room, but both of yours.

As you danced with your chests pressed together, hearts beating rapidly in sync, you gazed into those beautiful, dark brown irises of his and sank further and further into those feelings. They were gradually making themselves a home in your chest.

“What're you thinking about, sweets?” He murmured as you tucked your head against his shoulder and the arm he had around your waist rubbed the small of your back.

The smell of his cologne made you inhale deeply. You could get used to this—his smell, the feel of his body under your fingertips, his presence intertwined with yours taking up space in the best possible way. “I'm thinking that Byeol is a good matchmaker.”

His chuckle rumbled through him and softly into your ear. “You're definitely right about that.”

a/n: pls remember to reblog and comment if u enjoyed!

atz m.list

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seospicybin · 8 months

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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART I

Felix x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,4k words)

Author's note: It's kind of experimental turning this into a fanfic but hope you enjoy it. Part II will be out next week x

Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.

YOU: I think physical appearance is not that important. It's all about confidence. [flips hair] I think all women should carry their self with confidence, stand tall, and always strive to be better.

But when you look at me, I'm pretty much a smoke show [laughs] I'd date myself if I could [laughs]

My ideal type is someone with a distinct charm. I'd love to see a tattoo or two on a man and someone who knows how to keep it exciting, cause I get bored easily [blows kisses to the camera]

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

That's why you accept your cousin's offer in exchange for money that would save you from getting kicked out of your apartment and from dropping out of college.

She was in a desperate time too when she reached out to you as one of the contestants decided to drop out of the reality show she worked in as the casting director.

Guess desperate times reached out to each other.

But you, as a nobody with less than a hundred followers on Instagram and you believe half of them are bots, have no experience of being in front of the camera, doubting that you'll do well in it.

Other than that, you think reality shows are just a waste of time, they have no educational value but dumb people down.

But what option do you have? You're broke, jobless, and a week away from being homeless when the offer came.

"What's the reality show about again?" You ask your cousin, Sara.

She rolls her eyes at you, it's probably the umpteenth time you asked her about it again. "It's on the description."

It's on the pile of papers she gave you but you're too lazy to read that many pages written in small fonts with single spaces.

You have to bring it close to your face to read it.

A group of determined singles visit paradise to meet, mingle, and remain celibate for their chance to win $200,000.

"So..." you stop reading after seeing the amount of money you can win from it, "it's basically a dating show."

"Yes," she answers, "but... you will not be allowed to kiss or touch or have sex."

"Oh, thank God!" You let out a long sigh of relief.

Yes, you need the money but knowing that you don't have to do such things for a reality show makes you feel relieved. At least when one of your peers knows, you wouldn't have to be embarrassed about it. You can say you did it for the experience, but spare the part that you did it for quick money.

Another question pops into your head, "But then... how are we going to date each other if we're not allowed to kiss or touch and whatnot?"

Sara smiles at you, "See? That's the catch!"

She gets all excited in a second, "you have to resist each other from going at it," she further explains as her eyes turn a little loopy.

"Oh, so they'll be sex in it?"

She chuckles, "Maybe yes. Maybe not. Who knows?"

That's a vague answer and you still don't get how she would make money from making a reality show but doubtfully giving people what they want.

It's not like you're in it to actually find someone to date. You agree to join because she promised you more money once the shooting is done.

You're going to stay at a gorgeous villa on an island with a few people and try not to be in each other's pants, which is not what you intend to do in the first place.

What's so hard about it anyway?

Wow!

You might have missed the part that you have to be dressed in provocative swimwear and show as much skin as possible in the papers Sara gave you.

However, there's this one motto that always works to make you through the day.

Fake it till you make it and you have no other option but to fake it.

Your hair is styled into loose waves to make it look like you've been spending time at the beach and thankfully, you're allowed to do your own make-up. You put on a simple one, put a little blush on your cheek, and a layer of shiny gloss over your lips.

You changed into a two-piece bikini and look at yourself in the mirror.

Damn, you don't even have to fake it anymore. You look hot and you think that's why they still passed you as a contestant despite knowing that Sara is a relative of yours.

The first segment of the reality show is contestants entering the villa one by one, but in your case, you have to do it with another gorgeous girl.

"I'm Maeve," she introduced herself in a cute Irish accent.

You might or might have not just checked her out from head to toe before shaking her hand back to introduce yourself back.

You're taller than her but that's what makes her cute. She has that pretty dirty blonde hair and a nice smile, exuding a very positive vibe. You like her already.

The staff gives you the cue to start walking into the gravel path that leads to the villa while the cameras take you from every angle possible to capture your best features.

By best features, you mean your breasts and boobs, anything that possibly makes people think that's how a perfect body should be.

You are against female objectification but again, what other choice do you have? Giving up your principles just so you can live another day in this capitalist world.

Cheers welcoming both of you as the other contestants that have made their entrance before you, watching you step into the scene.

You can feel their eyes on you, either in envy or lust or things in between. You introduce yourself around with hugs and kisses, which is not how you usually introduce yourself.

Once they handed you a welcome drink which is a glass of warm champagne from being under the sun too long, it's when you see each one of them better.

Your confidence deflates in an instant because they're all way hotter and sexier than you. They look good in their bikinis and their hair is perfectly tousled like they rolled out of bed looking that gorgeous.

You're not just talking about the female contestants, the male too are incredibly stunning, their abs are on display since they're only wearing swimming trunks, their skins glowing under the sun.

You find yourself fanning your neck just from stealing glances at it.

"Hot, huh?" The other girl asks you, one with a perfect bone structure and full lips.

You lightly chuckle, "Everyone in here is hot," you carefully with what you said, aware that a mic is attached to your body.

"I know right?" She says with a flirty smile.

After a moment, you learn her name is Laura and she's the epitome of a hot girl. She has the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect nails, and even the way her hair parted is perfectly in the middle. Other than that, Laura, like other pretty girls, has it easy in her life, she's a social media influencer with 300k-something followers and said she's here for 'shit and giggles', her words, not yours.

A lot more male contestants enter the villa and everyone refills their champagne flutes as the temperature raises. You can't tell if it's because you're so close to the beach or there's just a lot of heat in here, or it could be that you're panicking inside and try not to show it.

Your cousin Sara is wrong about one thing.

There's not just one catch, they're all a catch and you can't do anything about them.

YOU: I feel like I'm in an ice cream shop and they have all of my favorite flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, salted caramels, cookies, and cream... [bites thumb] I just can't wait to have a scoop of each flavor [chuckles]

After the introduction and draining six bottles of champagne in the process, everyone is allowed to explore the place, get familiar with each other, and mingle.

Well, of course, you have to do your part, be flirty with them but you don't intend to go into that yet. Not when your confidence level is at its lowest that you can't even fake it anymore.

You sit by the lounge chair by the beach, enjoying the view of the beach while trying to ignore all the cameras filming you.

One of the cameramen suddenly got closer to get an angle when you notice that one of the male contestants is coming to the beach and you see no one else there but you.

Suddenly, you feel alarmed, immediately check your appearance, and got you wondering why that is your first reaction. This never happens in real life.

"Hi," he says, sitting on the other lounge chair next to you.

You raise yourself from the longue chair, supporting the back of your head with a cushion.

"Hi," you finally say back, trying to sound calm yet sultry like how Laura speaks.

You notice that he speaks in an accent that you can't quite decipher its origin, "may I know what accent is that?"

"It's French, but I do speak German as well," he says.

"And English," you point out.

He chuckles, "That too!"

"I learn that everyone has an exotic accent while I'm here with the most basic accent," you say and it surprises you how well you're doing at being an obnoxious reality show star.

He smiles, showing his perfectly good teeth, "Nah, I think you're cute."

And surprises yourself again at how receptive you are, smiling at his compliment. You laugh to yourself as you try to remember his name, everyone introduced themselves too quickly earlier and gave you no time to memorize them.

"I'm sorry. What's your name again?"

"Alex," he says, taking another step towards you as if he wasn't standing close enough.

Alex is super tall, super attractive, muscles in all the right places and you have never cared about such things in a man before. Alex has nice brown skin and soft curly hair, he's charming in a way that subtly grows in you.

"Well, Alex, how come you're so tall?" You playfully ask him, holding your champagne flute close to your face.

"I play basketball," he answers.

You click your tongue in awe and at the same time, feel afraid that Alex has raised your standards of men to a whole new level.

YOU: Alex is hot. Isn't that obvious? That French accent ooh... [whistles] and he plays basketball. He's like a tall glass of water and I'm super thirsty.

He's hot, he's tall, he speaks three languages, and he also plays sports. What else can he do? You wonder...

"What about you?" He asks.

You think for a moment, "Well, I only speak English," you answer with giggles.

He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking at you with an intense stare.

"I can speak cat language too if that counts," you add.

He raises an eyebrow at you, "So you're a cat person, huh?"

"Yes, I am."

"I see..." he says, looking at you with an even more intense stare, "you like to be spoiled, huh?"

You turn to lay on your side to show him the curve of your body and bite your lower lip as you bravely stare back at him, "who doesn't like to be spoiled?"

Alex licks his lip as you catch him glancing at your lips, he thought of kissing you for sure but has no idea what stops him.

"What animal person are you?" You ask as the conversation starts to dry up.

He props a hand under his chin, "Why don't you guess?"

You tap your lips with your index finger to subtly tease him, "A puma?" You wildly guess.

He laughs, "Why?"

"I got the impression that you're wild, can't be tamed," you say whatever it is crossed your head at that moment.

You don't think Alex would care anyway with what you're saying because all he can think about is whether he should kiss you or not.

"Am I right? Or am I not wrong?" You dare him by closing the gap a few inches short.

Yet he remains in his seat and you're getting bored of waiting already. You retreat from keeping this going and sit up on the longue chair.

"I think I have to start getting ready for the party," you excuse yourself.

You're not proud that you're back to being such a bitch who plays with men but gosh, something about this reality show that brings out the bad girl in you.

YOU: Perhaps it's too early for him to get his move on someone. I think he wants to keep his options open and that's what I'm doing as well, I want to get to know a few of them and see if I... uh can have some fun.

The males are already waiting at the beach for the party.

The females are taking longer time to get ready because there is so much to do, hair, make-up and even putting fake acrylic nails.

You have lived as a woman for twenty-three years but only realized now how exhausting it is to be one. Not that you don't like it but people oftentimes don't give women enough credit for it.

"Come here, you sexy!" One of the males says.

Wow. What a way to impress a woman!

Everyone is sitting on the benches set around a bonfire and drinking cocktails with umbrellas in them, sipping and talking, checking each other out in secret or not so secret

A player recognizes another player so there's no use for all contestants to play naive, pretending that they're just here to sit around bonfire and make friends.

Everyone knows that they're here to get wild and becomes famous by doing it on a reality show. Except you thought, you don't want to go that far.

"Icebreaker time!" Says the girl with brunette hair and rosy cheeks. You believe her name is Heidi.

"Each one of us will take turns to stand in the middle with a blindfold on and anyone can do anything to that person. In the end, they have to guess who did it," she explains but more like babbling around the words while seductively chuckling in between words.

You don't get what she's saying but try to learn the game by watching as she takes the first turn to set an example. Heidi is a total babe, it's impossible if no one wants to have a piece of her.

A male comes up to her and has a deep kiss that put everyone to shame. One look and you can tell that it's one hell of a kiss. You sip the drink you've been holding in your hand.

Your heart is drumming the closer it gets to your turn, afraid that someone does things with you but it would be more embarrassing if no one does things with you.

So far, everyone at least has a kiss or a smooch, Laura even lets a guy touch her ample bosoms. You haven't made a move yet and it's kind of a requirement that you show your wild side because that's the idea of the show.

It's Jamie or that's what you remember his name is. He's taking his turn and putting a blindfold on, he looks gorgeous wearing a white shirt and short pants.

Jamie has glowing tan skin and six-pack abs, his hair must have skipped months of a haircut but rocking it all right. He keeps brushing his hair to the back, knowing that it looks better when it's messy.

You take a glance at everyone and none of them seem to make a move on him, impulsively, you get up from the stool and come up to him.

It's when you stand in front of him you have no idea what to do with him or more like, you have tons of ideas of what you want to do but can't choose one.

Everyone else is watching from their seats in anticipation, you shut down your brain from thinking and just go with it. You stand on your tiptoe and kiss him on the neck, covering your lips once you're done to not give him any clue that it's you who kissed him.

You run back to your seat and see what his reaction is once he takes his blindfold off. Next, Jamie has to guess who is it and to avoid looking suspicious, you calmly sip your drink and watch him guess who did it.

After taking too much time observing, he gives up, "I don't know. But whoever it is, I kind of want more," he says.

You try to remain calm and take another sip, looking anywhere but not in his direction.

It's finally your turn, your heart is beating faster and you wonder if the audio guy can hear it too with the mic resting around your neck.

Taking a quiet deep breath, you tie the blindfold over your eyes and around your head. You can only hope for the best now and block every insecurity that tries to reside in your head.

"Ooh..." everyone coos in unison and that only means someone is coming or about to do things to you.

Nervous, you clench and unclench your fists to calm yourself. Then a pair of hands gently cup your face and tilts your head upward.

Not ready for it, this mysterious person kisses your open mouth and proceeds to kiss you more, using his tongue in the most pleasurable way to taste you.

Damn! He's a good kisser and you reflexively respond to his kisses with your hands holding theirs. For a split second, you forget that you're in the middle of shooting a reality show and everyone is going to watch it.

You gasp the second they let go and have you fixing your lipstick because there's no way that phenomenal kiss not smudging it.

"Whoa. Can barely think after that kiss," you shamelessly tell everyone as you act drunk as you walk back to your seat.

Sipping your drink, you secretly assess everyone and try to guess which one of them kissed you. They're all hot anyway, it's not a loss to kiss one of them and you didn't know why you were fussing about it earlier.

Since Laura is taking the last turn and everyone seems to be whipped by her, you can see that all the male contestants anticipated this. You bet they're lining up to get a kiss from her.

It takes only a few seconds for anyone to make a move, the first one to have it is Daniel with half of his body covered in tattoos. He has a lean body and that bad boy attitude, he confidently strides to kiss Laura on the lips, so hard that she gasps in surprise.

You find yourself clapping at two people doing lewd things in front of a group of people. When you think Daniel is the only one succeeding in having a piece of Laura, another one takes his turn.

You almost scoff seeing Alex holds her by the neck and kisses her so deeply. Instant turn off, all those charms he has seems to be wiped off your head in a second.

YOU: Well, now we all know why Alex didn't kiss me [laughs] He likes someone else and that's good, I'll stop chasing him from here [sucks air through teeth] and on to the next one! [Raises hand triumphantly]

Moving on to the next segment, you prepare yourself for your act.

Sara is nice enough to let you know what the show is really about. When you ask everyone else, they believe that they're on a dating show and are here for partying and having fun and such.

Well, until... the cone-shaped talking pops out of its hiding and stops the party and the fun altogether.

"Hi, I'm Lana, and welcome to Too Hot Too Handle!"

Everyone stops talking and turns serious while deep inside you will find pleasure from their pain.

"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships."

"That's true, though!" One of the males says and the other chuckles along.

"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."

Daniel seems to be taking the news badly, "I'm not here for that!" He comments.

"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."

Everyone is groaning in frustration, covering their eyes as if not having sex will make them die.

"No kissing. No heavy petting. And no sex of any kind."

More groans are spilling out of everyone's mouth.

"This also applies to self-gratification."

Wait! You didn't know that you'll not be allowed to touch yourself. Your body and you can't do anything about it.

YOU: The second I saw Lana, I know it's bad. But I didn't know it's that bad. Can't even touch myself? What?

"However, to aid your development, I've increased the prize fund to $200.000."

That one gets everyone hyped and jumping in excitement, including you. Thinking of that much money, you can shrug all your financial problems away.

"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."

But this one gets you down immediately, there's a possibility that no money will be left with all these horny people locked in a villa together.

"Everyone, welcome to the retreat!"

"Ugh!"

YOU: Everyone is pissed off, including me. But you know, something about being told not to do something only makes me want to do it [bites lip]

No, you're not pissed off about it. Sex is something you can easily avoid doing, you just need to keep it in your pants and that's what you're going to do.

You want the prize so much and want to put your focus solely on that.

"How do you feel, babe?" Maeve asks while putting her wavy hair into a messy bun.

You're cleaning up your make-up with her with Heidi in the room, "I'm super bummed!" You lie.

"I'm here to have fun so... I'll continue to do that," Heidi eggs on the conversation.

Maeve nods in agreement, "Right!"

Going to the bedroom, you see the next struggle and that is choosing your bed. A few of them have chosen partners to share the bed with. You don't want to choose yet so you nudge Maeve's elbow, "Want to share a bed?"

She smiles at you, "I thought you'd never ask," she answers.

Everyone else is on the bed and you look around, catching someone staring at you from across your bed. It's Jamie.

"It's you," he points at you.

You raise an eyebrow at him and mouthed, "What?"

He turns his head to the side and shows his neck, "the kiss."

Instead of answering, you slump down the bed and giggle behind the duvet. You bet he can tell from the color of the lipstick mark.

However, from all the males you see, you can't guess yet which one of them kissed you. Alex can't be it, he's sharing the bed with Laura and looking comfortable there.

That leaves Jamie, Daniel, Cole, and Felix. It could be Jamie but...

"Goodnight, babe!" Maeve says as the lights are turned off for the night.

"Night, beautiful!" You greet back and you silently thank her for stopping you to think about boys when you should be thinking about the money.

Eyes on the prize.

The first day and you wake up feeling so disoriented. It's the timezone, the weather, and the blinding sun that greets you the moment you get out of the bedroom.

They provide swimwear in the closet for everyone to wear besides your own clothes. You pick a pair and put on your make-up after with Laura and Alex, not sure if either of them is trying to make you jealous.

It's the first day of the rules applied and you already need to remind yourself of the prize fund.

"Who do you like?" You curiously ask Maeve as you're in the pool together with Jamie.

"I like Felix," She answers without a beat.

It's an obvious answer. If this show has two main characters they would be Laura and Felix. The males go for Laura and the females for Felix. You haven't had time to speak to Felix in person then again, everyone in here is attractive.

"I think he's just so hot and cute," Maeve adds.

Jamie splashes her with water, "you're blushing!"

Maeve giggles and splashes water back at him, "what about you? What is your type?"

You didn't expect she'll turn the table at you and that you're like a rabbit about to get hit by a car.

"Come on, you can say it. Brunette with a British accent, nice smile, nice hair," Jamie playfully says with a grin at you.

Maeve chuckles then comments, "I think you two look cute together!"

YOU: I think Jamie is cute, he's a goofball. We share a vibe and he always smells so good [laughs] I can't say anything yet but yeah, let's see.

There are five males and five females, everyone can pair up and be a couple but things don't work out that way. There are so many things to consider like chemistry and connection, etcetera. However, you believe everyone is just waiting for someone to break the rules to go further.

That seems to be plausible with Lana throwing a party tonight.

"We're matching!" Jamie says.

You chuckle seeing that the only matching thing you have with him is the color of the pants you're wearing.

"You look beautiful," he compliments.

You tease him by jutting your ass at him and looking over your shoulder while batting your eyes at him, "Thank you!"

Doesn't want to be tempted, he turns your body around and puts his arm around you to lounging outside. You bet that he will use the opportunity to tell you about his intention.

You haven't been in relationships for so long that you forget how nerve-wracking it is.

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!" You clink your glass with him before taking a sip.

The sky is so pretty and clear tonight that you can see the stars like pinpricks on the night sky. The breeze is warm and salty, it's not good for your hair, you spent almost an hour straightening your hair and it's ruined in ten minutes.

"So do you have anyone you like?" Jamie asks.

You put your glass away and shake your head, "Nah, not yet."

He stares deeply into your eyes, "well, I like you," he suddenly admits.

"Like it isn't obvious," you jokingly say.

He laughs and licks his lips which makes you glance at his lips, it's round and full, glistening wet. You look away before it gets too creepy.

"You're gorgeous and easygoing and so fun to be around," he starts by complimenting you.

You don't know how he can have that conclusion when you only know each other for one day, you go along with him and nod, "Yeah, I agree."

He shifts on the seat and leans in close, putting his arm on the back of your head, "You're the first that caught my eyes when I came."

It's hard to know if Jamie said that in all honesty or to merely impress you. You saw how Alex jumped from one girl to another in a span of a few hours so you can't just trust his words.

Remember that they're all here for a reason, they're horny and emotionally unavailable. Sadly, that's what your types are for the last few months.

"I was hoping you'd compliment me more," you joke.

He throws his head back as he cracks a laugh, "I think it's your time to compliment me back."

You fold your legs on the sofa and put a cushion on your lap to play with the lint to keep your brain stimulated, to prevent you from zoning out midway.

You look at him as he looks back at you with hopeful eyes, "I think you're absolutely fit, you have a nice smile and are tall enough—"

"Tall enough?" He asks, a little offended.

You chuckle at his reaction, "In the best way. I hate when a guy is too tall," you explain.

"Okay, continue..." he allows.

"And you always smell so good," you lean in to take a whiff of his perfume.

"Good, yeah?"

"Tell me the perfume you're wearing," you playfully ask.

He shakes his head, "Not when there's the chance to make you take a whiff of it from me."

Jamie places his hand on your knee and the gust of wind makes his hair tousled and makes him look double attractive. His light brown eyes pierce right through you with the gaze he locked you in.

"What is there not to like about you?" You conclude.

He props a hand to support his head as he looks down at you, "what do you think about us?"

To be honest, it's too early to say something about this relationship. Not only that you barely know him, you don't have the intention to have a relationship at all.

"There's something there but I don't know, not sure about it yet," you honestly answer.

The hand on your knee moves up to your thigh now. Damn! Jamie is smooth.

"Maybe once I get to know you better, I'd know," you hurriedly add before he gets the wrong idea.

The next thing you know, you get yourself in a pickle as you find him leaning closer to you and his hand that was on your thigh, now resting on your waist.

"Maybe if we kissed, we'd know each other better," his eyes are centered on your lips.

"You want to kiss?" You lower your voice, afraid that there are other people around you.

Jamie leans in closer until his nose meets yours, "So bad," he answers.

Is it why he smells so good? That his perfume isn't just perfume, but it's also pheromones? You hold his chin, unable to choose whether to turn him away or bring him close, finding it hard to resist him.

YOU: Jamie looking so good tonight. He's literally too hot to handle [dramatically rolls eyes]

Jamie leans in closer and an inch away from your lips when you put your hand on his lips, stopping him from kissing you.

"Stop!" You mewl at him.

Jamie looks a little taken aback, thinking that he can seal the deal tonight.

"I want to kiss you," you tell him with your thumb brushes over his lips.

"But..." You cup his jaw and slowly speak to him so your explanation is not lost in the middle, "I don't want us to be the first to rule break."

If you were out there in the wild, you'd be all over each other by now. However, you think about the money, and spending money this early in the show isn't worth it, well, for you. Other than that, being the first to break the rules will only get you so much shit from everyone.

YOU: If we were outside, I would have ripped his clothes already by now [laughs] [facepalm] Lana, you should be proud of me.

Jamie sucks air through his teeth and laughs this off, maybe he feels a little rejected, you bruise his ego. Men are fragile like that.

"It's hard for me too," you sincerely tell him and throw your arms around him, consoling him with a hug.

"I'll just give you another kiss on the neck, okay?" you proceed to do it, placing a soft kiss on his neck right below his ear.

You hear him lowly groan with eyes closed, "That's not... uh, make it better."

He puts a hand around you, keeping you close next to him, "what about sharing a bed?"

You laugh at how relentless he is. Not only it means putting you at a bigger risk to break the rules but also, he's being haste about this.

"I'd like that," you answer, earning a grin from him.

"But not tonight," you hurriedly add.

His hand slides down your head to play with the end of your hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"Why not?"

The player recognizes the player and Jamie is giving you the eyes right now. You look away and snug to his side, "I hump in my sleep and I think you'd like that too much."

He cracks a laugh with his hand drawing you closer to him, "More reason to share a bed!"

YOU: It's too early to share a bed with anyone. I still want to get to know the other and... [shrugs] keep my options open.

The party is far from over but you feel tired from socializing, and worse is, you can't escape them since you're sharing a house with them for the rest of the month.

You decide to excuse yourself, going to the make-up room and powdering your nose, then staying there to sip your drinks in silence.

There are nine other people to get footage from so you don't have to worry about making it interesting for people to watch.

"Hey, I've been looking for you!"

You turn on your seat to see Maeve entering the room, "what's up, babe?"

She drags the chair next to you, then sits on it. She checks her hair in the mirror and brushes the end with her fingers.

"I'm thinking of talking to Felix," she finally answers.

You sip your drink before talking, "And why are you here?"

Maeve laughs at your playful response, she leans back on her seat and sighs, "I don't know I'm so nervous to talk to him," she says.

That should be your question but you know that Maeve doesn't seek an answer from you, she needs some encouragements.

"You're gorgeous and fun, I think he'll like you," you tell her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.

She warmly smiles at you and checks herself again in the mirror.

"But if you intend to break the rules, I suggest you apply matte lipstick," you poke fun at her.

"I should do that," she searches for her make-up bag from the cluttering mess on the long vanity table.

After sending Maeve out of the door with another encouragement in a form of a cheeky slap to her butt, you bring your drink with you to the bedroom, feeling so ready to end the day already.

The first thing you see are two bodies going at it on the bed in the corner. You don't know why but you stay there standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching them kissing on the bed.

After a minute of observation, you're positive it's Heidi and Daniel.

You hear someone coming from behind you, you hurriedly turn around to find Jamie there.

"Get me more drinks?" You immediately ask him, trying to sound natural.

"Sure, yeah, been looking for you," he says, more than eager to take you back to the party.

It's the only right thing to do. He doesn't care about the rules and if he knew that someone has broken the rules, he will be more relentless than he already is.

Thankfully, Lana doesn't announce any rulebreaking behaviors for today, the party ends on a good note and everyone has their happy ending, at least for today.

But for you, you're just happy to finally get on the bed.

As Maeve climbs onto the bed after you, you can't wait but ask her about how the talk went.

"So, how's the talk?"

From the lack of her usual radiance on her face, you can tell that it didn't go well. You regret asking about it.

Maeve scoots closer to you on the bed and leans in, keeping her head turns away from Felix's bed.

"I talked to him and he was nice, said he finds me cute and funny," she keeps her voice low.

"Well, that's great!" You comment, a little louder than you intend to.

Maeve puts on a thin smile, "yeah so I asked him if he has eyes for someone," she says.

"Yeah and?"

"He said he likes someone," she answers.

You playfully bump her shoulder, "and it's you."

"Else," she finishes her words, "he likes someone else."

She rests her head on your shoulder and you put your arm around her, comforting her with gentle squeezes on her shoulder.

"Does this mean you're going to stop trying or...?"

"Not sure," she shortly replies.

"He said you're beautiful and funny, you should focus on that and work your way from there," you comfort her.

Men are not only stupid, they're all short-sighted, and that's why they like everything big. Maybe at first glance, Felix didn't see Maeve clearly and that's why you encourage her to try once again so he can take another good look at her because who knows?

The morning alarm is ringing.

They set a time to let everyone know when to start their day even though a few of us have woken up earlier. The lights are on and greeting each other, barefaced with eyes still sleepy.

Jamie jumps onto your bed and gets between you and Maeve on the bed.

"Good morning, girls!" His voice is muffled by the pillow underneath.

Maeve gently pats his back, "Cuddles only!" She reminds him.

He lifts his head and looks at you, "Not going to lie but I was about to kiss her until you said that," he tells Maeve.

Jamie looks so fine with a bare face and his bedhead looks extra fluffy when it's tousled.

YOU: Good morning! It's a good day, clear sky, nice weather with no chance of sex. [Snorts]

When everyone is called to the cabana, you know that it's judgment time.

You feel calm knowing that you successfully refrained from breaking rules but you know that everyone is not going to be pleased that a few people spent a few thousand dollars last night. Including you.

So far, you only knew about Heidi and Daniel but there's a big chance that other people break the rules too. It's a big place, you can't keep track of everyone.

This secret you've been keeping is getting too hard to bear yourself. The only person you can share it with is Maeve and you're positive that she didn't break any rules, not that you know of.

"I walked in on Heidi and Daniel kissing," you whisper to Maeve.

"My Gosh!" She lowly gasps.

The sound of Lana's cone-shaped head chiming and your heart leaps. You're not ready to lose money, not when you have your credit card bills spilling out of your mailbox as you speak.

"I regret to inform that there are several rule breaks."

Several? So that means there's more than one rule break? You're doomed, everyone is doomed.

"Everyone better be telling the truth right now!" Cole says as the resident's sex cop.

Everyone is looking at each other and a few are looking very suspicious right now. You bet that Laura and Daniel broke the rules from the way they avoid everyone's eyes.

Heidi raises her hand like she's in a classroom, "So..."

And everyone groans, knowing that they are about to hear a piece of bad news.

"Daniel and I, we kissed in the bedroom," she admits.

It's good that Heidi decides to come clean but it's a bit upsetting that Daniel just sits there like he didn't take part in it.

"But that was it. Just one kiss!" She assures everyone.

Welp, that's $3000 down the drain. However, Lana continues to press everyone to confess.

"Let's just get it over with, guys!" Cole adds with gritted teeth.

Can't hold it in yourself for long, you call them out by the names, "Laura? Alex? Have anything to say?" You ask with a piercing gaze.

"We uh... we kissed," Alex may have a buff body and the tallest of the bunch but he's bad at being honest like all men are.

"But it's because we're sure we have a connection. That's why we kissed," Laura is, of course, backing her man and ready to claw people with her super-long acrylic nails.

"I don't care what all of you are saying. We—"

"You kissed for how many times?" Cole cuts her off with the most important question of all.

There's a moment of silence and that means it's bad.

"Twice. On the bed and the beach," Laura answers with no apologetic expression whatsoever.

"That's so selfish!" Maeve exclaims next to you and lets out a big sigh after.

The worst is Lana is still here and asking if anyone wants to own up to their shit. You don't even want to count the most you've lost, it's a lot.

"You've got to be kidding!" Jamie groans from the end of the sofa.

Not only that the truth costs everyone money but serves the juiciest drama needed for TV broadcasts.

"Daniel kissed me," Aly finally confesses.

Everyone's eyes dart at Daniel, he kissed two girls yesterday and put them in a fight after this. Heidi looks furious sitting next to him.

"I'm pretty sure he kissed me first then he kissed Heidi," she adds, her eyes throwing daggers at Daniel.

"This is a mess!" You quietly comment and plant your face in your hands.

"These rule breaks have cost the group a total of $12.000," Lana announces.

You groan into your hand thinking that much money can cover a couple of months of your rent and here these fools spending them to satisfy their wild desire.

YOU: From now on, I'll be thinking of a Chanel handbag every time I get the urge to kiss someone because that's how much it costs.

"There are a total of four rule breaks in the last 24 hours and the fine on any further rule break will be doubled as of this moment," Lana announces another shocking news.

YOU: Great! A kiss equals two Chanel handbags now. [Hand against forehead]

It was one hell of a way to start the day.

Everyone's mood turns sour after that and Cole, being the sex cop he is, doesn't stop preaching to everyone to not break any rules.

What you fear the most with rules has been broken more than once now, it's allowed everyone else to take their turn and that includes Jamie.

It's only about time that he'll start demanding a kiss from you. Don't get fooled, men are just as insecure as women but they mask it well with their huge egos.

You try to avoid him and hang out with Maeve instead, chilling by the pool.

"I heard Irish people are a great drinking buddy," you want to distract yourself from the reality show you're in.

"I wouldn't call myself a 'buddy' but yeah, we're good drinkers," Maeve answers with her playful laughs.

You dip your fingers in the pool water and mindlessly splash it around.

"Come to Ireland and I'll show you a good time," she says.

You snort thinking that with the debt you have, you can't afford to travel out of the country right now but you can't pass on the invitation.

"Okay, I'll just go there with my winning prize," you jokingly say.

"Oh, yeah, totally," she responds with giggles but her eyes are nowhere in your direction.

Following her line of vision, she is watching Felix working out with Alex and Cole at the beach. You take it that she hesitates to make a move on him after knowing that he likes someone else.

"You're going to talk to him again right?"

Considering that the outside world is off-limits, leaving all of you with no choice but to interact with each other. This also means that Maeve will have to get a move on him or try not to be awkward with Felix walking around the house for the next three weeks.

"Who do you think it is?"

"The one he likes?" You guess.

She nods, glints of curiosity filled her eyes, "yeah."

"Certainly not you," you joke and break into laughter.

"Ouch!" She splashes water at you.

YOU: Maeve thinks a lot when she has nothing to worry about. She should just do it.

The house is huge even for ten people living in it but you can't keep avoiding Jamie.

After dressing up to hang out in the firepit, you sit next to Jamie at ease with the presence of other people there. But that doesn't stop him from touching you, putting his hand around you to play with your hair and whatnot.

"We should have kissed yesterday," he suddenly says.

You lowly chuckle, "When it was cheaper?"

The wind keeps blowing your way, sending your hair flying around and making it messy. Jamie attentively puts the stray hair away and tucks them behind your ears.

"Do you still want to break the rules?" You ask out of curiosity.

"If you want to," he answers.

He fixes the collar of his shirt and looks at you, "what about you?"

You crinkle your nose at him, conflicted. On one side, you want to kiss him and see if there's a spark between you and him but on the other side, it costs two Chanel handbags.

You rest your head on his shoulder, "I just don't think we should be selfish by spending money recklessly," you honestly answer.

"Yeah..." he agrees but the sigh he lets out at the end tells you otherwise.

YOU: Jamie sounds a little disappointed that I don't want to break the rules. I mean, don't hate the player, hate the game!

The make-up room is crowded with the girls cleansing their faces and doing their bedtime routine. You decide to take the last turn, lounging on Jamie's bed to make up for not sleeping with him tonight.

"Are you guys going to sleep together tonight?" Aly asks from the bed across the room.

Jamie turns his head with an eyebrow raised at you, asking you the same question.

"Yes, we are," you finally answer.

Jamie can't hide his triumphant smile and it looks adorable on him, you can't help but smile along.

YOU: I don't want to feel pressured to do it but I owe it to Jamie to at least try and see if this relationship is going somewhere.

It's understandable for them to be nosy, it's what the viewers need, a little drama, a little action but what they need are the juicy details.

Before anyone else gets nosy, you start getting ready for bed. Wipes clean your make-up and go to the bathroom to wash up, someone else is showering inside the stall.

It's a normal occurrence. Honestly, everyone else is just so calm about seeing each other's body at this point.

However, the glass wall is blurry so you don't have to worry about seeing someone's naked body inside. You head to the sink and mind your own business.

As you're brushing your teeth, the shower door opens and a hand reaches out for a towel hanging by the handle. In the mirror, you see Felix steps out of the shower and your eyes eventually meet through the reflection and you reflexively smile with a toothbrush tugged between your teeth.

"Hey," he greets.

It surprises you that the deep voice belongs to him, "Hi," you greet back.

He walks toward you and you scoot to the side knowing that he needs to use the sink.

"You don't mind, right?" He asks, taking his toothbrush out of his toiletry bag.

You shake your head, "not at all."

It's hard to not see his body when he stands close next to you. Everyone in here has a nice body but on the first impression, you see him as this thin and dainty guy.

Now, you've seen him up close, he has one of the best bodies in the house, his muscles are perfectly toned and it shows that he diligently worked on his body.

"How's your day?" He casually asks with the towel hanging low around his hips.

"Alright, I guess," you answer.

"You?" You ask back while washing your toothbrush under the running water.

He looks at you and smiles, "just got better, actually," he answers.

Felix is definitely flirting and you immediately fill your mouth with water before stupid things come out of it. You decide to quickly wrap it up before someone else enters the space even though you're doing nothing.

YOU: Felix and I are just talking. There's— [inhales] he's low-key flirting with me and I freaked out, there I said it.

Maeve is already on the bed when you enter the bedroom and so is Jamie with a space prepared on the bed for you.

It would be rude to say nothing to Maeve that you'll not be sleeping with her, so you come to her first.

"I'm sleeping with Jamie," you tell her.

She slyly grins at you, "Should I give you the sex talk?"

"No, thank you, mom!" You grab your pillow and walk to Jamie's bed still laughing.

Jamie's smile grows wider the closer you get to his bed, he opens his arms to welcome you.

"Come here, sweet thing!" He playfully says.

You hit him with your pillow before coming into his hug. As you settle on his bed, Felix walks past your bed and flashes you a smile, a little different from the one he gave you earlier.

You forget that he sleeps on the bed next to Jamie's and you don't know how it suddenly feels awkward to you.

"Be good, you two!" Cole warns with a piercing glare.

"Not going to break any rules. You can have my words," you assure him despite Jamie nuzzling his nose onto your shoulder as you speak.

YOU: At least, that's what I hope. Being in bed with Jamie and try not to break rules will certainly not going to be easy. Ugh!

Once the lights are out, Jamie spoons you from behind with his arms wrapped around you. Not going to lie but it feels nice to be with someone.

"You smell so good," he whispers into your ear.

You don't respond, afraid that it will only encourage him to do more.

"You're so soft," he says again with his hand splayed on your bare stomach.

"Night, Jamie," you put an end to the talk.

That doesn't stop his hand from cuddling you and nuzzling his nose in your neck.

"No goodnight kiss?" He asks.

You take his hand and kiss it as a substitute, earning a low laugh from him.

Jamie kisses you on the neck in return, "Night!"

YOU: It's getting a little hot in here [fanning your neck]

The first thing Cole does when he wakes up is ask everyone an important question.

"Did anyone break any rules last night?"

You shake your head because as much as it's been hard to refrain from touching Jamie, you didn't do anything but cuddle under the cover.

"I can promise you we've been good in here!" Jamie confidently states and puts his arm around you.

Aly as Maeve's new bedmate, points at Laura and Alex's bed, "I definitely heard noises coming from their bed," she snatches on them.

Alex may have a good poker face but you can't say the same with Laura, she's looking guilty but the kind that tells she's not sorry for doing it.

"You may as well spill the truth now," Daniel eggs in.

Laura nonchalantly shrugs as if she's not been acting selfishly when it's only about time that Lana announces how much money we've lost because of them.

YOU: I'm proud that Jamie and I managed to not break any rules last night. I hope that proves that we do have a real connection.

It's too late for you to walk out as Felix sees you coming into the bathroom.

You walk to the sink to grab your toiletry bag you forgot to take with you, "I can't believe our meet cute is in the bathroom," you say.

He laughs hearing your words while struggling to put sunblock on his back.

"Need help?"

He considers it for a moment then nods, "Yes!"

You take the tube of sunblock from him, pressing a big dollop of the cream on your hand and slowly lathering it on his honey skin. His skin is smooth and warm with muscles that make his back the perfect spot to lean on.

"So, you and Jamie, huh?" he suddenly asks, looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.

The question snaps you out of your daze. You're thankful that he can't see your face as you're busy making sure the sunblock is covering his back evenly.

"Yes," you shortly reply.

He hums while subtly nodding his head, "And what do you think?"

You play dumb but it's also because your hands wander to his lats and they're distracting, "of what?"

Felix leans forward with hands resting against the sink, "is it serious?"

You silently gulp air because his question only means that he has an interest in your relationship which also means that he has...

"We're still figuring each other out," you settle with a diplomatic answer for him.

You glide your hands back up to lather the sunblock down his shoulder blades.

"I see," he responds with a smile.

And not just a smile, a smile that tells he got the answer he wants.

You slide your hands down his arms and playfully squeeze his biceps, "there! Done!"

He takes the sunblock back from you and checks himself in the mirror, "thank you."

Felix raises his hands for a high-five with you, "Let's have a great day!"

You smile at him and return the high-five, "Let's do it!"

YOU: Maeve likes Felix and I'm obviously team hoes before bros. Always!

"Blue looks good on you!"

It's another day of Jamie's endeavors to kiss you, starting the conversation by complimenting your bikini. He joined you sunbathing by the pool in the afternoon, sharing a sun lounger.

"Thank you!" You reply with a smile with your eyes squinting under the bright sun.

His hand is squeezing your arm, "you got some muscles here," he says.

"I played volleyball in high school," you share.

Propping a hand under his head, he looks down at you, "I want to see you play volleyball."

You chuckle, "That was years ago. I forgot how to play."

"Must be looking sexy serving ball in tight shorts," he lowers his head into your neck.

You burst out laughing and slip your hand in his soft locks, "that sounds so wrong."

Not only that you're out in the open, it's rather dangerous with how close he is and his lips looking inviting as he plants it on your shoulder.

It's only right that you distract him by giving him a little taste but not too much, enough to make him crave more.

"Do it for me?" You ask with a bottle of sun spray in your head.

"I'd love to," he eagerly says.

Jamie sprays on parts of the body he wants to touch, all over your back as you lay on your stomach and down to your asscheek, excessively kneading on them.

You laugh at how he can't stop himself that you eventually have to turn over so he can continue, spraying your shoulders.

You take off the straps around your neck so he can spray your chest and sneaks his hand on the valley between your breasts.

"Yeah, get in there!" You playfully encourage him.

Jamie grins like a child who got caught taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. He then continues to spray on your abdomen and evenly rub them down your thighs next while glancing into your eyes once in a while.

To say that you don't enjoy teasing him would be a lie.

YOU: Jamie becomes more relentless by the day but am I wrong to not want to rule break? Isn't that the purpose of this retreat?

As the day turns to night, it's only about time until everyone got called to the cabana.

You feel sick listening to the sound of Lana's cone-shaped body chiming, especially with Laura and Alex acting so suspiciously.

Lana is a computer but she sounds not pleased as she greets everyone. Cut to the announcement, she informs that Laura and Alex did break the rules last night.

You glance at Cole who got speechless that he's just looking at Alex in disbelief.

"These rule breaks cost the group $18.000."

YOU: For three kisses? Really? Lana, please, be reasonable with the prices.

"That's not the only rule break they committed," Lana spills more truth.

This is what you fear the most, getting riled by the whole group for breaking the rules. Everyone looks at both Laura and Alex waiting for them to confess.

"I touched his willy under the cover," Laura confesses.

Everyone groans in unison.

You don't know how Laura is okay being so selfish and can keep a straight face, but that's probably why her make-up is super thick.

"This rule break costs the group a further $4.000."

"Why would you do that?" Maeve asks and she rarely gets this mad.

"It's not a big deal!" Laura nonchalantly responds.

"Yeah but not for $4.000!" Heidi snaps at her, as furious as everyone.

"Now the prize fund stands at $166.000."

YOU: I can use that money as a deposit for a house and here we are, spending it on kisses and a hand down a guy's trouser.

The night gets darker not only on the outside but inside the house as well.

Lana sends Laura and Alex to the suite to test if they're building a true connection but everyone is skeptical that they'll pass the test.

You sit on the bed with Jamie resting his head on your lap, brushing his hair to relax you now that you've lost a chunk of money.

"Alex is like the horniest people and Laura is the biggest teaser, it's a recipe for a disaster," Aly comments, lying on her stomach on the bed opposite yours.

"They will rule break once or twice at least," Jamie adds his opinion.

The night ends early but you see that Maeve and Felix haven't returned yet to their respective beds. You hope that things are going well with them.

You nuzzle your head into Jamie's chest and murmur, "We haven't broken any rules," you tell him.

"Yet," Jamie continues your words clasping your hand with his.

You look at him and smile as he looks back at you, "We've been good and I'm proud."

He foolishly smiles and opens his arms to invite you for a hug. You jump right into his embrace and those muscles on his body feel pillowy under you.

Jamie pulls the duvet to cover both of your bodies even though the lights aren't out yet. You squeal as he starts to glide his hands down your sides.

YOU: I appreciate Jamie for being so patient because I know, it was hard for me to not throw myself at him.

"We don't need another rule break tonight!"

Cole pulls the duvet down to reveal that the two of you are just tickling each other under the cover.

At the same time, Felix makes his way to his bed, seeing you straddling Jamie on the bed which sends you to get off of him immediately.

It's unclear why you do that but your eyes go straight to Maeve's bed, it's empty even when the lights are already out.

You nestle your head in Jamie's neck as he lightly touches up and down your arm and kisses your hand once in a while.

You plant a soft kiss on his neck and whisper, "Night."

He kisses you back on the head, "Goodnight!"

YOU: I start to believe that maybe Jamie and I do have a genuine connection [smiles]

Everyone is looking restless from the moment they woke up and looks in shambles once they gathered in the cabana, ready for that time of the day.

After a while, Laura and Alex are returning from the suite. You recognize the glow on Laura's face right away but you could be wrong.

God! You hope you're wrong and they didn't do anything selfish last night.

You're spacing out as Lana comes with her anxiety-inducing ping sounds and all you can think about is how much money Laura and Alex spent last night.

"They're looking suspicious," Aly whispers at you.

Indeed, they are, and looking very guilty as well. Everyone waits in anticipation as Lana takes her time to announce whether they pass the test or blow all the money in one night.

"I must tell the group that Laura and Alex did..."

You hold your breath for the worst outcome.

"Not..."

It's getting harder to breathe now.

"Break any rules!"

Everyone shoots up from their seats and congratulates the couple in turns. You got so far in life that you get to celebrate people for not having sex.

YOU: So they can keep it in their pants! I'm proud!

Lana has another announcement after everyone settled in from the celebration.

"To motivate everyone to grow genuine feelings of connection as opposed to lust, I've prepared gifts for all of you."

You take the box in front of you and open it to reveal a watch inside.

"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light like this."

Everyone's watch chimes and turns green at the same time.

"While the lights are green, the rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."

Cole claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "There's no more excuse for anyone to break any more rules!"

YOU: This [shows the watch] motivates me to build a connection with Jamie. Hope we get to be the first to get the green light.

After a very stressful morning that thankfully ends with a happy ending, you can have the room to breathe since the boys are out of the house to do a workshop at the beach.

The girls are hanging out in the bedroom and with the drama going on earlier, you forgot to ask Maeve why she went to bed late last night.

To get a little privacy, even though you can't get any with cameras placed in every crook and nook of the villa, you take her to the make-up room. You sit next to her while fixing your make-up in the mirror.

"Is everything okay?" You ask.

Maeve sits with both feet up on the chair and looks down at her nails, "not okay, honestly," she answers.

You stop looking at the mirror and turn your chair to face her, "why? What happened?"

Maeve hugs her folded legs and looks at you, a sad smile on her face.

"I just don't know what I'm doing here..."

You place your hand on her knee, "hey, don't say that!"

"I'm not making connections with anyone and I tried, but it's not working. I-I don't know why I'm here," she says with a heavy sigh at the end of the sentence.

It seems like things aren't going well between her and Felix, and Maeve is someone with low self-esteem, which makes her somewhat dejected that things didn't go well.

"You don't have to be a couple to make progress, you know," you comfort her and it's true, Cole is proof that he's fine not being in a pair and dedicates himself as an avid protector of the prize money instead.

"I'm not pretty. No one wants to be with me," she breaks into tears and buries her head in her hands.

You get up from the chair to hug her, "First of all, everyone here is pretty and it's not a beauty pageant, okay?" You comfort her while slightly bending down with your arms around her.

"It's not about look. It's about chemistry, attraction, and stuff," you awkwardly explain.

You have no talent in comforting someone but you try your best. After a moment, Maeve lifts her head and looks at you.

"No one is attracted to me," she says with her fingers carefully dabbing the corner of her eyes to avoid ruining her make-up.

You scoff and turn the chair to face her before sitting on it, "you are so beautiful, Maeve," you assure her with both hands holding hers.

Maeve puts down her feet and your clasped hands dropped onto her lap, "I know," she half-heartedly agrees.

"For you, I'll fly to Ireland and come see you, we'll get drunk and have so much fun," you cheer her up with nice thoughts while shaking her hands.

Maeve cracks a laugh and you can see that she starts to get hopeful again. She's a genuinely kind person which is not someone you expect to meet here, you think of her as a friend despite it happening because you both are in a reality show.

A crazy idea crosses your head, "you know what? We can be a couple and win the money," you tell her.

YOU: I'm bad at comforting people and the only thing I know how to comfort someone is through actions [slyly smiles]

She laughs at your wild suggestion that it takes her a while to reply to you, "I'd love that, yeah," she jokingly answers.

An even crazier idea crosses your head, "come here then," you tell her, pulling her close until your heads meet in the middle.

Maeve senses your intention but not doing anything to stop you, instead, she leans in first to kiss you.

You kiss her back as she softly brushes her lips on yours over and over again. She tastes so sweet and warm, she knows how to use her tongue and not overdo it, and overall, one hell of a good kisser.

You pull away first as the reality that someone might walk in on you dawns on you.

"Did we just break the rules?" Maeve asks while wiping her smeared lipstick.

"You'd better have a good poker face!" You warn her.

YOU: Goodness! Maeve is a good kisser and that kiss... I think that was the best $6.000 I ever spent. No regret at all.

The boys are back just in time for another party Lana is throwing tonight.

The theme is Saints and Sinners and there's a box of costumes for everyone to wear. You choose to be an angel with wings even though you've been behaving badly after breaking the rules earlier.

He sits you on his lap even though the sofa is spacy enough for another two persons but you feel safe since Alex and Laura are there, cuddling in the smaller sofa across from yours.

"So, what did you do in the workshop?" You ask Jamie.

He takes a deep breath and his chest heaving along with yours, "we learned how to be more open with our feelings."

You nod along and leer over at him, "And how did it go?"

Jamie rests his chin on your shoulder with a hand resting on your stomach, "Well, I'm never good at it but I think I did alright."

He doesn't sound so convincing but you appreciate the effort.

"You look beautiful, babe!" He compliments you along with a gentle squeeze on your thigh.

You're immune to sweet nothings like this but a compliment is a compliment. You smile and mutter, "Thank you!"

You slip your hand into the opening of his shirt, "I like your shirt," you compliment back with a seductive smile.

He sees your hand slide in further into his shirt, "should have let another button open."

Jamie keeps checking his watch hoping that the light turns green soon.

You doubt that a few compliments can do it and silently laugh at his fruitless effort.

YOU: I'll always be physically attracted to Jamie but I don't know. I can't tell if I doubt myself or him, or us, entirely [clicks tongue]

The time for doom is here.

You exchange nervous glances with Maeve knowing what we've done would damage the numbers on the prize fund. You doubt that it's what Laura felt when she broke the rules because what you're feeling is a sense of guilt but that's solely because you behaved selfishly, not for the kiss.

"Hours after receiving the gifts of my watches, a couple of you decide to break the rules by kissing," Lana announces.

Everyone's eyes land on Alex and Laura since they're the regular rulebreakers. Just know that they'll be surprised once they found out who did it.

"You know the routine. Just spill it!" Cole sounded so done at this point.

You hate to break his trust but you don't feel bad for breaking the rules, not when you have a good intention. Your heart is pounding for how much shit you'll get either from admitting it or don't, you choose the former.

"It was me," you blurt out with a hand raised.

Jamie snaps his head at you, eyes wide filled with confusion because he knows for damn sure you didn't kiss him or vice versa.

"I'm not going to name names who I did it with and why," you quickly add and it's the only right thing to do, you don't want to force Maeve to speak out unless she wanted to.

"I'm sorry," you apologize.

Jamie looks even more confused but his eyes are scanning the guys one by one even though it isn't any of them you kissed.

"I'm sorry, Cole," you apologize to him personally since he's the one who gets sensitive the most about the money.

Maeve raises her hand and decides to admit it as well, "she did it with me."

They let out a collective gasp, laughter, and sneaky eyes going on after. Jamie squeezes your shoulder but not saying anything to you.

"Another $6.000 has gone from the prize fund, leaving the group with $160.000," Lana furtherly informs.

Funny that you didn't about the money at all when you kiss Maeve. Probably because you know that you intend to rebuild Maeve's confidence, so she's not giving up on herself and continues her journey here.

However, when it comes to Jamie, you're still not sure if you want to spend $6.000 on a kiss with him.

The rule break doesn't seem to leave that much impression on everyone.

Maybe because they give you a pass because it's your first time breaking the rule and the night ends in peace or that's what you thought.

You're chatting with Aly in the firepit to avoid the crowded make-up room when suddenly Felix comes behind you. You didn't notice until Aly sends you a signal with her eyes.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks.

Aly gets the hint and decides to leave, "I'll excuse myself then."

You've spent a couple of times alone with him even though they only last for a few minutes, but this time is different, no one is around except for the filming crew lurking in the bushes or somewhere you're not aware of.

The sofa could fit a couple of dozen people but Felix decides to sit next to you.

"Hi," he sweetly greets.

"Hi, how are you?" You ask with a smile.

His legs are spreading wide and he has gaping holes in his jeans, exposing bits of his thighs that you found are surprisingly muscular.

"I'm good," he answers, doing the classic move of putting his arm on the headrest of the sofa, "how about you?"

Your body somehow responds by putting your leg over the other and leaning towards him, "Never been better."

Felix gets quiet but his eyes are deeply looking into your eyes as if he found something fascinating in them. A while later, he clears his throat as he slightly slouched on the sofa, legs spreading wider, sending the holes in his jeans to stretch and expose more of his skin.

"During the workshop, we were taught to open up about our feelings and I–" He pauses to scratch his small nose and continues with an uneasy glance at you, "I know what I want and I want to do it. I know I'll regret it if I don't."

"Okay," you respond while nodding along and at times, getting distracted by the holes in his jeans.

"I know you're with Jamie and I don't mean to break things between the two of you but I feel like... I need you to know that I like you."

Felix talks without a beat and with the intense stare he's giving you, you gulp air feeling nervous but in an exciting kind of way.

"I like you," he says again.

Your heart starts to race because you can feel how much he meant all of his words.

YOU: Oh my God! The hottest man in this retreat likes me?!

"You don't have to do anything about it," he casually says as if he didn't just put you in a predicament since you're with Jamie.

Felix retracts his hand and accidentally or not, brushes his hand on your shoulder. He gives you the faintest of physical contact but enough to send a shiver down your spine.

Still speechless by his sudden confession, but you know you should have said something to him to avoid him getting the wrong idea.

"Thank you for letting me know," you begin.

"You're very welcome!" He excitedly responds with a wide grin.

"But let me know if you want to do anything about it," he adds with a playful grin.

Something about him makes you warm inside, you can feel your cheeks heating, flustered with his eyes never straying away from yours even for a second.

The night is late and the fireplace is laying low, swaying with the gentle breeze coming from the sea, Felix's lips suddenly look so inviting, enticing you like a forbidden apple.

This is dangerous.

"Let's head inside," he says, thankfully being the one putting a brake on the imminent danger.

YOU: This is honestly what I seek with Jamie, that excitement, that sparks and it's a problem that I got it from someone else without any sort of physical contact whatsoever.

"So, Maeve, is she a good kisser?" Jamie asks as he sits with you on the bed.

Maeve sips water from her tumbler before answering, "The best!"

She takes another sip before talking again, "You're in for a treat, Jamie."

He glances at you with an impressed smile, "Too bad that I can't confirm that," he says.

That's his way to dig at you for what you did. You understand that he feels betrayed by what you did, you refuse to kiss him but easily kissed someone behind his back.

You put your hand across his chest and look at him, "Are you mad?"

"Nah," he coyly answers.

You bring your mouth close to his ear, "are you jealous?"

Jamie chuckles as your breath tickles his ear, "A bit, yeah."

You kiss his cheek and deliver your apology with a heartfelt whisper, "I'm sorry, baby."

YOU: I, of course, feel bad for not giving Jamie the heads up about the kiss I did with Maeve. He looks rather upset but I know I deserve it.

It's probably luck that follows you throughout the times you spent in the retreat.

Everyone forgot about your rulebreaking as Daniel decides to get a new bed partner. He used to sleep with Heidi but tonight, he decides to sleep with Aly.

You nudge Jamie who's sleeping with his head nuzzles in your neck to witness the drama happening in the room.

His mouth opens in surprise while you look at Heidi who's slumped down on the bed.

"You okay?" You mouth at her.

"No," she mouths back.

You turn to look at Jamie, "Oh my God!" You lowly gasp.

"I feel bad for Heidi," Jamie whispers.

"Me too," you say back behind the duvet at Jamie.

YOU: Let's say we never know what's going to happen next [shrugs]

The mood the next morning has been set to gloomy with the drama that happened last night.

The good news is there's no sign of anyone breaking any rules and the bad news is that Jamie seems to not moving on from your kiss with Maeve yet.

Jamie is usually chipper whenever he's with you, except for today, he seems distant even though you're working out together by the beach.

"Tighten your glutes," he instructed.

You play dumb since that's the most successful way to win a guy's heart, "tighten my what?"

Jamie chuckles and enthusiastically shows you the parts of your body you need to work on, the back of your thighs and legs. His hands don't skip the chance to rub over the curve of your ass.

"Can you feel it?" He asks as he guides you to do a proper squat by standing right behind you.

You intentionally nudge his crotch with your ass, "oh yeah, I can feel it," you answer with giggles.

By working out, you hope that it would help to release tension between you and Jamie, it worked but in the process, you're getting that tingling down there with his hands constantly touching you.

You collapse onto the yoga mat from doing a plank and groan, "Ugh... I'm so horny."

Jamie laughs as he helps you get up from the mat.

YOU: I realized now that maybe Jamie needs validation, he needs more than just words from me. Maybe I have to do something about it [raises an eyebrow]

Before you can set a plan, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.

Not sure if anyone breaks any rules but you feel sick in the stomach whenever you sit down and face her cone-shaped body.

Cole is getting ready to put his laser eyes on anyone who breaks the rules.

"No one break any rules last night," Lana announces.

Everyone seems to be letting out a sigh of relief and you feel guilty just from thinking about doing a rule break later for Jamie.

"With the couples seeming to form deeper bonds, it's time to establish how committed to each other you really are," Lana states.

Couples? You are positive you and Jamie are included in it.

"By sending some of you on dates..." Lana continues.

YOU: The question is... Who's going on a date? I would love to go on a date with Jamie.

Now everyone starts to hold their breath again with Lana dragging each piece of information just to torture all of you.

"With new arrivals," Lana finally finishes.

This is not a good time for Lana to intervene, not when you plan on taking things further with Jamie. Also, new arrivals mean that they're not adapted to the rules yet, they'll be uncontrollable, horny babies like... well, everyone here a week ago.

"The first arrival is... Mia," Lana announces.

The guys snickered in joy, excited even just from hearing the girl's name.

"I have given her a choice of dating one of the boys currently in couples."

Your mouth hangs open in surprise, you're wrong to underestimate Lana's power and that she owns this game, she's the mastermind.

"She has selected..."

YOU: I hate to think about it but I have an inkling that this Mia girl is going to choose Jamie [leans back on the sofa]

"... Jamie."

The timing is impeccable.

Things are going well between you and Jamie, then Lana, being the girl boss she is, decides to ruin all of that.

You look at Jamie and he looks slightly pleased that he got chosen.

You're spacing out the rest of the time Lana announces another arrival, a boy who chose Laura to be his date.

It's unclear whether you're jealous about him going on another date or you regret holding yourself back from him all these times.

Jamie rubs his hand up and down your arm, briefly kisses your cheek, then says, "You have nothing to worry about."

How come you trust his words when you've witnessed all these bed hoppings and jumping ships happened overnight?

YOU: What Jamie said only makes me even more worried. Lana said it's a test so this Mia girl must be sexy, and speaks three languages or something. You know, like a girl version of Alex.

Maeve is helping you style your hair for tonight.

"How do you feel about Jamie going on a date with someone?" She asks.

You shrug and sigh, sending the powder you're holding flying around your face.

"I just hope she's ugly," you jokingly answer.

"Hate to break the news but I think she's hot and a potential rulebreaker," Maeve decides to pour salt on your wound instead of soothing it.

"It's not that I don't care but I decide not to care," you explain.

You finish your make-up with a setting spray and check yourself again in the mirror, "but you know, deep down, I'm scared, shitless," you admit.

It's getting more nerve-wracking waiting for Jamie to come back from his date. Maeve keeps you occupied with happy thoughts, telling you fun things you can do in Ireland with her.

The other girls low-key comfort you by complimenting your looks. It's a nice gesture except that no one died and you're not in mourning, you just want this to get over with.

Laura is the first one to come back, guiding the new arrival by linking her arm with his.

She introduces Killian around, an Irish man who's just the perfect match for Maeve.

Killian is a great distraction, his accent is attractive and so is his smile. You keep nudging Maeve's elbow to send her hints.

Maeve replies by elbowing your side and you thought she was being playful, then turn your head around to see Jamie has came back from his date.

"Oh shit. She's hot!" Aly exclaims.

You bite your tongue and put your lips together, not wanting to lose your calm easily. There are only two possibilities, Jamie stays with you, or not.

As Jamie pulls you to the make-up room, you know it's time for him to decide.

"How was the date?" You ask with a smile.

"It was nice. We had champagne and fruits and cheeses," he gives you an answer that you don't expect.

You silently gulp air and keep on putting on a smile for him, "Sounds lovely!"

The moment passed in silence is deafening and you need to burst it. You clear your throat and hold the hand on his lap.

"So... are you here to tell me I was right for not worrying you?" You joke.

Jamie awkwardly laughs at your question and that you're right for worrying him. A part of you is in denial that you're not chosen but another part of you decides to shut him out right here, right now.

"I want to tell you that Mia and I... I think we have something going on between us and I want to get to know her more," he slowly explains.

This heart is fickle, you decided not to care but you feel a sting in your chest when he told you that.

"You're saying you chose her?" You ask for confirmation.

Jamie takes your other hand, afraid that you run away before he can explain.

"No, I'm staying with you and openly telling you that at the same time, I want to get to know Mia," he refuses your words when it's exactly what he wants.

Other girls would give him the chance but not with you, if Jamie chose her then he should stay with her. There's no use for you and him to stay together if he wants to get to know someone that isn't you.

"Jamie you can't do that. You either stay with me or be with her, you have to choose!" You insist on him settling on a decision.

YOU: Apparently, Jamie wants to have his cake and eat it too [shakes head]

You get it that Jamie is conflicted because he still likes you but the other girl offers him something that you don't give to him.

"I like you. I still want to be with you," Jamie persists.

His words are not aligned with his action. You shake your head and put his hands away, "it sounds like you're asking me to wait for you while you're getting it on with someone else."

That seems to put the nail in the coffin that he got speechless. The disappointment got to you that you and if you stayed longer, you're afraid you would say something you didn't mean to him.

"You've made your choice, Jamie," you tell him.

YOU: To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. I'm livid, I'm... I was planning to take things further but yeah... [brushes hair to the back] Mia happens.

Can't believe that you'll be the one serving drama tonight.

You stall in the make-up room, not wanting to get to the bedroom yet. You're drying your hair after a shower and sitting there for a minute, just taking everything in and trying to let it go.

Taking a deep breath, you keep a straight face as you push the door into the bedroom and have no choice but to share a bed with Heidi since Maeve is sharing the bed with Killian.

"You alright, babe?" She quietly asks.

You hold your forehead and slump down on the bed, "it's shitty."

She gently squeezes your elbow, "yeah."

You lay down on the bed and avoid the eyes looking back and forth between you and Jamie. You may decide not to care but seeing him sleeping with another girl right in front of your eyes, hurts.

You cover your eyes with your hand and mumble, "I just want to get this day over with."

YOU: Jamie has decided so he has to live with that decision. Good luck, I guess.

If it weren't for her, Jamie would have stayed with you and you wouldn't be waking up to Heidi lowly snoring next to you.

Mia might have seduced him but it wouldn't happen if Jamie remained faithful so you decide to blame him, not her.

This is probably what Maeve felt that day when she cried, defeated, and dejected.

But Jamie has to try harder if he wants to see you cry.

"How are you feeling, sexy?" Maeve asks as she waddles in the swimming pool.

You sit on the edge with your feet dipped in the sun-warm water, "I don't know, really," you shrug.

She holds onto your leg, clinging to it to stay afloat, "You're better than her, trust me, she's not that attractive if you looked at her long enough."

You know that she's not saying that out of spite, she said all that to make you feel better.

"Saying unkind things about her doesn't make me better, Maeve," you tell her with a glare.

"I'm sorry but it's true," she says with a subtle shrug.

YOU: Jamie and I [sighs] We hugged, we cuddled, we slept in one bed together. I don't want to care but the truth is... I care.

The day drags on and you're more than happy to get to your bed except that you're not ready to see Jamie and Mia cuddling on the bed you used to sleep on.

You're hanging out with Maeve in the make-up room while she's braiding your hair to pass the time.

"We can sleep together. I'll just tell Killian—"

"And risks Heidi stealing him from you?" You cut her off with a joke.

Maeve laughs as she tied the end of your hair with an elastic band and fixes the loose hair on the back of your head.

"Enough about me. How about you and Killian?"

Maeve plops down on the chair next to you and takes a hairbrush from the table, slowly combing the end of her hair.

"We chatted a lot but not sure if we have that connection," she answers.

"But don't worry, we're getting along just fine," she assures you in response to your concerned expression.

"Is it perhaps because you haven't moved on from Felix?"

Asking her that is like walking on eggshells and you're doing it carefully. Mostly because Felix confessed that he likes you that making it seems that way to you.

"Oh come on! I've moved past that," she answers while twirling her hair around her fingers.

You consider telling her about Felix's confession that night but it comes to no use, the retreat has come halfway to finish and you're not sure if Felix still likes you.

It's close to lights out and you step into the bedroom with Maeve.

Heidi is already taking half of the bed with her long legs that you have to scoot close to the edge to lie down.

"Goodnight, everyone!" Aly says to everyone in the room and getting sleepy mumbles in return.

YOU: When I think about it, I'm seeing Lana more than my therapist [uneasy smiles]

This is not how you want to start the day.

You don't want to hear what Jamie and Mia did or how they spent $20.000 last night. He probably has pent-up tension and finally got to release it with her.

"You got the watches, man!" Cole is coming at him.

You sit back and watch it from the end of the sofa on how Jamie is trying to explain himself.

"I know you won't believe me but Mia and I, we have a connection," he explains.

"Why not act right and get rewarded?" Cole is jabbing him with words.

"You won't understand," Jamie says with a defeated sigh.

YOU: Maybe that's why I doubted Jamie. I can see it now, the bright side [smirks]

Nothing says a fresh start than doing yoga with Heidi.

Apparently, she is a licensed instructor and you feel a whole lot better after stretching your body to the limit.

You share the shower with Maeve to cut the time and get ready to dress up.

As you're applying your lipstick, Lana chimes in and makes you jolt in your seat.

Maeve's mouth drops open and she stops curling her hair altogether.

"Hello, ladies!"

"Hi, Lana," you nervously answer and push your chair away from the table.

Then she calls your name and you almost choke on air.

"Y-yes?"

"I'm offering the chance to go on a date with Felix " Lana informs out of the blue.

"Me?" You ask in disbelief.

"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks.

You turn to look at Maeve to remind yourself to be a good friend and a good friend avoid hurting her friend's feelings.

"Shouldn't we make them wait for at least 48 hours for an answer, Lana?" You playfully respond.

Maeve kicks your feet under the table, "what are you doing? Say yes!"

"Then how about you?" You blabber, not expecting that she gives you the blessing to go on a date with her former crush.

"What about me?" She asks in pure confusion.

"Don't you like him?"

Maeve excessively sighs, "I told you I've moved on!"

She kicks your feet again, "Hurry! Say yes!"

You turn to look at Lana in her mixed purple-hued lights and hesitate to say yes. Not only it means you have to start it all over again, but also letting yourself open for another heartbreak.

"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks once again.

YOU: I'm not sure if I'm ready to try and restart [sighs]

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theoccultz · 7 months

Text

How does your beauty influence others?

Theme: certain traits makes you attractive, What are those certain traits ?

General reading, take what resonates leave what doesn't

Pics not mine credits to their rightful owners

Decision is always yours i'm not responsible for it

LGBTQ friendly pac

Let me know which pile you selected!!

Your likes ,reblogs & feedbacks are appreciated (:

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Your magic lies

In your beauty....

Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.

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Pile l -

Key words : unexpected ,timeless , classic, melannial ,funky

Cards :ace of cups , the lovers r , 8of wands , knight of wands r, b.o.t.d & 3of cups oracle: scrunity ,maze

Its not hard to assume you live a busy life you could have a really comfortable style , people assume you are a cat lol not literally but you seem sophiscated you could be late and still look put together i'm getting the combination of green and black its seductive and mysterious, i feel like you could do both you could be the soft or tough based on your mood . You could be experimental you dont stay the same you ard different person every year the one who has outgrown others in the best way positively,your exchange of energy is also very positive you could be a sick child growing up so you understand the importance of being included, you are not complicated to handle pile l , you dont need others approval let people in let people help you you dont have to do things alone you can rely its an honour you are not a burden and you should know that .

I'm getting Cinderella here she's really down to earth and determined if she wants something she gets it i dont feel like others know a lot about you , you could feel people stare at you for a longer time like they keep an eye out for you , you have a really butterfly effect 🦋, others can see you but they cant touch you now idk why it's coming up here , you could move alot like you're really cheerful as well as suspicious of your surroundings 😭✋🏼, you could talk with everyone im getting others anticipate seeing you they genuinely love your energy. Im getting cancer eye's your eyes could be really loud and expressive it gives away what you're feeling , you could look confused and awkward there's this introspection energy to you its really lively like a kid who's just out here experiencing life but then not everyone has their attention they like to have attention on themselves and they dont trust a lot of people its the vibe yeah , i'm getting people have a friend crush on you like they want to approach you get you know you more invite you to places but the energy you give off is not for everyone you could be an ambivert im not necessarily getting like you rub people off the wrong way its just they dont know if you'd be open to them and their offers you could have a tight circle around you thats why i was getting people hear a lot about you through others and its really exciting, people rather observe you than approach you ,you can work together collaborate with each other but you dont like to blend in with people initually its not forced you form alliance with others naturally, you need to be sure of them first .

Yeah but i was really sad channeling that people want to approach you but you know they're nervous that you would reject them 🫠and i really think they should make the first move they wouldn't be rejected yeah they feel like they miss out and kind of support you silently but at the same time they wanna know whats up ? Ahh a little bit messy energy here if they're just listening and making assumptions then its a little bit intrusive to wanting to keep up with you but i guess people are curious. You could have been rejected when you were younger ,made to be feel like you have to be a certain way only then others would accept you i feel like you outgrew their stupid expectations you are now a person with dignity you have a righteous energy to you ,you can now speak for yourself and thatsa positive change you didn't grew up to hurt others if you were hurt you grew responsible & confident and i admire that .

You could have romantic body type you look really cute and sweet. ,shimmers could suit you a lot its like silk ,scarf , pastel colours yeah thats how i would describe it , i feel like most of the times you are unaware of the attention you receive lol im getting people could hear abt you a lot from others like oh did you see this ...they went ....there .....they did this. You could have suffered from low esteem issues in the past that could have effected your confidence a lot to the point that you didn't liked to stand out even though you have an appealing beauty like everything looks good on you , you are peoples dream person but then what is the problem? I really dont want to put you in a box and say you have a boy/girl next door.... puppy beauty because i feel like it cant be defined by one thing ...i cant talk abt your hair or eyes or face i have to know other sides of you ,you are not just a pretty face you are wise and emotionally intelligent which others lack & its a damn big thing , you would never make fun of someone in the name of gossip with the knight of wands here you are good when others are good to you . you know your worth if someone's disrespecting you they would get a reality check you are not all flowers and tears im also getting you have kind of a bad rbf when you're mad its over its wrath otherwise you are sweet and look uninterested most of the times 🕴️you could not even fuck with a lot of people you're just your own person . (By fuck i mean interact n keep up )

Others love how you are thoughtful of little things they could feel you have a really positive influence on others people idealise you for your knowledge you dont have a one way response for a situation you will either make people understand rather to criticise or humiliate someone. While shuffling i didn't get a lot of things your energy should be studied deeply to understand where you're coming from i cant just demand things ,i cant just pick and name you ...i 'm really loving your vibe 🦄 i wanna know more , dont hide your face with your hairs. , dont cover your marks w/makeup ,don't feel a certain way abt yourself you are really pretty the kind of beauty to draw others dont make people stalk you lol be open and raw i picked up ..a lot of nervous energy 👀you influence others to acknowledge a deeper part .

I would describe you like a Melanie Martinez song particularly :

Thanks for reading!!!

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Pile ll .

Key words: peaceful , tolerant, monument, majestic, hot headed

Devil r, queen of cups , knight of swirds, 3ofcups, kingofwandd- b-t-d oracle-harmony , miracle .

Okay people are really emotionally drawn to you i'm getting you dont demand attention but you attract it people in this pile feels very invasive as well . With the knight of swords others feel overprotective of you they feel rejected i feel like you are over protective of your energy as well ,you have good sense of boundaries you might be a rebellious person but you dont come across as that you are seen in a carefree and sweet manner ,someone who's just content and is mostly busy with their own stuff they wont find you bitching abt others , you're focused on creating something also i feel like you dont go with the hype cause its useless you feel like energies are ever-changing what's trending now wont be trending later so its useless to buy stuff thats of no use . You are really classy we know you won't be talking in the air .

People fantasise about you you could be young and it could be uncomfortable,the truth is there's this traditional role that people go in ,they want to provide and take care of you ...yikes it feels like self assesed ,you could be favoured in your family or friend groups .I feel like people feel guilty and sad if they kind of dismiss you or disappoint you there's this commanding energy which i'm picking up on but i dont know how its not coming across as that i feel its very subtle that makes the difference lol.

With king of wands others feels like you dont give them the time of the day that you're here for your own benefit like you could interact with others on some tasks ,you could be an outgoing person good with everyone but the energy is not i'm up on your face its just there its comfortable with you ,others feels like you're moody yeah like you have your days and they should respect that but some people take it on their ego.

You could have surprising hobbies that attract others ,you could think about things very deeply its like you provide others with a fresh perspective you could have been named as the alien someone who doesn't think like others yeah its an very outstanding interpretation that i get from you also its like we dont have to try hard to make an effort your energy is like air its very welcoming its not rigid or pushy its flexible its forthcoming so its quite easy to work with you to interact with you i'm also picking up on this protective barrier i feel like people dont respect your boundaries so you have this aura or this glance that intimidates others its like they cant just push you around they need to be respectful you could have came from a family of responsible strong women's who most likely took care of a lot of things so its impressive.

Your energy reminds me of shark you'know how sharks have this big energy, how shark moves really slow but when they attack they're very aggressive also they have this sharp fins and teeths that you'know gives us an indication that there could be something dangerous lurking so you haave to be careful,you could have had emotionally absent parents or you could be raised by a single parent so growing up you really aim for this stability i feel like you're a really simple person who has had it rough and others can feel that . I'm picking uo a liberal energy here someone who's interested in philosophy,arts , literarure ,fashion .

You could be excellet in multitasking you could have developed different skills ,i'm getting finance and other teck skills as well you could have good sense of health ,humour ,time management, its like you dont stop you just keep moving onto better things you know how to take care of yourself how to navigate things through,how to influence others whats good whats not its like you are not easily swayed by others opinions or is afraid of controversies you dont like to waste your time youare really strong internally. You could be a counsellor you influence others in a manner where we understand our own value and is motivated to push through, we can learn a lot from you because you're an open person someone who doesn't take advantage of others you help them in the right direction and thats refreshing,you could work in health secter as well i'm getting dentist people could feel relieved or relaxed after sessions or you just has this energy which is comforting very Libra liks .

With the devil in r combining with the queen of cups people cant manipulate you or play any games its just not possible i feel like you could organise things or you could be a leader its like you will pick up on things quicker i also feel like people are intimidated by your Beauty you just come across really content and sensible its like you will not talk we have to come towards you yeah pile2 i feel like your energy and just gow you present yourself the things you say is magnetic and Inspiring, you are thoughtful philosophical being who's doing something in life you understand the privileges and whatsoever of life . You are just livin' in the present trying to make sense of the present moment not worrying abt future inventions .you have high standards and that's impressive cause not everyone is willing to make a change in themselves,some are dimming their light to fit it but they end up feeling rejected right .

I'll describe you as a kali uchis song particularly:cause you bring a lot to the table

Thanks for reading!!

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Pile lll.

Key words: optimistic,smitten, courageous,sour candy , committed

Cards : the world ,7of cups ,3ofswords r, 10of cups,9ofcups, the wheel of fortune, 5 of cupsr b-t-d oracle : lover ,foe

You guys are charmingg people look upto you , you have a certain amount of influence you know your self worth you worked on it , yeah lets end it here 😭

Ok there's a lot to say you give off *rich , stable ,bold , sophisticated vibes honey you ain't takin shit from no one you have always stood up for yourself you dont let yourself be down by the people who haven't done shit in their life ,you have gone through shadow periods and came out strong as hell nothing can pull you down you are set in your own ways people love to be in your presence whether they say it or not , i'm getting this outside looking in energy where others look how abundant you are, how blessed you are , how much you have faced but still you are not a loser who would hurt others just because someone hurt you ,you will fight back you will show them its not all done your journey begins when you do self discovery you teach people to be raw and to forgive oneself .

people come to you for advice they know you will tell them as it is sometimes we just need a push to do things and you helped them with it there's this really uplifting energyto you its overwhelming i cant just note down certain characteristics of yours no i'll have to study ,i'll have to wait and discover,ill have to get you know you on a deeper level ,i have to know how you made yourself when no one was there for you and that i could do it too , its very 9th house energy where you are creating things for you ,you are not blindly following traditions you are not blinding teaching others , you are interested in deeper meaning of things and it reflects in your behaviour i feel so heard and seen in your presence you are not that person who'll just say things to say you will accomplish them .

You are not gonna follow someone just because they're good looking with zero morality,you are not that typpa person and its admirable , others see in every step you take you are unleashing your potential a lot of people admire you for the things they cant do not everyone is brave to even think and establish yourself outside of your circle, outside of what you were taught you stick to your principles. You might feel i'm exxagerating but no pile3 you deserve every bit of it . I feel like you have a lot of good things coming for yourself its very 1st house energy here that i'm picking up on you will get a stage to shine bright .

I'm getting in a very brave sense that others tend to think of you in a good light some people could've underestimated you never really supported you but you dont need them you never did ,you had your goals and it is your life you realise that pile 3 . Its almost shocking how you take change and make yourself much stronger after every transformation . You are not fear you are action and you are not filtered truth you are raw and connected with your roots.

Pile3 i acknowledge your growth and what it took you to get here. I'm feelin' this is a really interesting protoganist thinker pile who's seeking their free will who's just this dream person like a magician someone who dreamt of things and now mastered the skills , little things make changes wow 😭let me speak lmao i just chanelled it it came like a hurricane . People feel like you have a lot of options its like there's this feeling of inferiority in your partners that you attract they dont recognise their value but i feel like you have a positive influence on them , you are an experience to live pile3 its that amazing energy that i'm really getting, i feel like you guys could have bugged down by others a lot when you were younger your ideologies didnt matched you grew up questioning a lot of things you were interested in exploring different worlds you didn't wanted to go by the book you are like a bird no can can tie you down in one way or other , you are gonna shine people could be jealous of you but thats normal someone has to be shitty and thats not on you so dont take it to heart , others are constantly impressesed by your inner strength even though they wont say it they know you are doing the right thing even people with strong opinions realise this about you but there's this shame of not recognising your potential or constantly projecting their negative feelings onto yoh but you have outgrown them pile3 you donf need to be associated in a certain way you are your own individual and people should remember you for that and i can assure you , you are gonna get there you are gonna make it big there's this stability and fire within you that cant be tamed .

You could be a writer i feel like you attract a lot of potential partners like fr y'all , even if you're not a writer i wanna listen to what you share , i wanna study you thats how intense the energy is its like you never stopped levelling up damn thats a lot . I feel like your looks are deceiving but hey have you seen what have i done? Do you know what it takes to be here ? TO BE MYSELF .yeah pile3 thats it for you . I cant describe you in one word i'm sorry .

I'll describe you like a Beyoncé song particularly:

Thank you for reading!!

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#Spotify #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarotblr #spirituality #tarot reading #intuiative reading #free tarot reading #tarotcommunity #vd #how does your beauty influence others

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azzydoesstuff · 3 months

Text

lethal company dashboard simulator

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

man 41-experimentation has the worst abandoned facilities. where is all the scrap guh??

🪲 lootyloot-nestynest Follow

the fuck are you calling an abandoned facility?? experimentation is my fucking home you prick. you scrappers call these facilities abandoned but they're not. you're just wandering into our homes and stealing our things. leave it to the scrapper to regurgitate insectophobic slop. blocked

#like i swear to god. these fucking scrappers are so stupid. i hope they all die #insect pride

3,601 notes

🌰 nuts-be-cracked Follow

i swear to god y'all, ain't NOTHINg moving on my watch

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

heyyyy 😏

🌰 nuts-be-cracked Follow

😬

457 notes

🦅 professionalhawkster2 Follow

bro why do the fucking dogs keep messing with my gang?? they almost killed jerry a couple hours ago

🦖 heywhosaidthat Follow

how about you be fucking quiet you fucking pickle thieves

#seriously who steals pickles lmao #fuck baboon hawks

92 notes

🖳 theindomitablesigurd-deactivated1968

T HEY TOOK M Y PIcKLES!!!!1!!

#naw i'm uptading th ose mf dangjer level to 75% agfter tha t shit

18 notes

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

first time visiting 7-dine! wonder what i'm gonna find lol

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

hey i live there! lol

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

🫣

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

man what the hell

#cw coilphobia #fucking scrappers #hope i coil this bitch lmao

7,084 notes

🦑 badjokesbyjeb Follow

What do you do after eating a really tasty planet? You give the restaraunt five golden stars.

🪙 living-on-the-blingbling-baby Follow

BEAST LET ME OUT ALREADY I NEED TO GET OUT I CAN'T BE DIGESTED YOU FUCKING BEAST CEASE THIS MOCKERY OF OUR GOLDEN PLANET RELEASE ME SPIT OUT THE RINDS LET ME LEAVE

🖁 across-the-system Follow

Haha, good one Jeb! You should really change your url!

#you fucking idiot don't say shit like that #he's gonna fucking escape at some point if you keep doing this and then you'll really be fucked you fucking moron #goodjokesbyjeb

765,014 notes

🦈 thump-thump-thump Follow

who up eatin' their legs

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

what

🦈 thump-thump-thump Follow

us thumpers get called halves because when we're born we have to eat the bottom half of our bodies to get out of our eggs. this is why we have no legs and have to use our arms to walk around. hope this helps ❤️

#cw thumperphobic slur #cw half #don't be ignorant like this and do your research #also don't call us halves please #thumpers #thumperposting #thumper gang

132 notes

☣️ richrichardguy-deactivated0709

man why don't this fucking door open. oh it's my fucking crew behind it fucking great. fucking assholes won't stop saying i smell

🌿 rapaxfoliumsnap Follow

hey i think we haven't met before

☣️ richrichardguy-deactivated0709

😨

🖳 theindomitablesigurd-deactivated1968

RICH NOOOOOOOOOOO

#bro stank like shit but i didn't want him to go like this #not like this! not like thiiiiiiis!

64,089 notes

🪲 lootyloot-nestynest Follow

you guys, i just found the coolest fucking metal sheet. you have no idea

42 notes

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

BRO GET OUT OF THE DOORWAY STUPID FUCKING BOX

🎁 lethaljesterjestering Follow

listen to my tune

351 notes

🔦 new-guy-working-here Follow

hey guys it's my first week working for the company! i think i'm gonna make quota this time

🌿 rapaxfoliumsnap Follow

no you're not

🔦 new-guy-working-here Follow

no i'm not

9,278 notes

🎭 she-fillin-my-quota Follow

hey guys i'm resigning from the company rn. im gonna make some changes accordingly on my blog now. can someone tell @lootyloot-nestynest i'm sorry and ask them to unblock me. i'm a changed man now, i'm not a scrapper anymore

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

guys idk something seems off about this guy. he was spewing coilphobic shit a couple days ago

🎭 comedy-tragedy-drama Follow

guess who's been busy, coily? 😏😏😏

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

no fucking way

#the madman did it #bro got fucking masked lmao

#is this anything #shitpost #shitposting #lethal company #lethal company shitpost #lethalposting #companyposting #tumblr dashboard simulator #lethalblr #companyblr

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dykeomania · 4 months

Note

PLS write smut for Hazel from bottoms..I need her so bad I fear..maybe like subtop!hazel..is her having a strap too far..I need her..

this is not. a full fledged fic. but this is the first time in a sec that ive let myself be inspired by an ask. this is weirdly switcher and just pure gay-sexier than it is subby!hazel. lmk if you want things to get subbier, bc i can probably do that. but for rn i have.. this image.. and i want you to walk with me on this but also hold my hand because i'm #supershy,

(minors [including 17 year olds 🙏🏽] dni fr, under the cut: not that proofread. strap lol (r!r), foul language, breeding... language... (my bad) (hazel has a strap tho), subtop!hazel except i could've made this shit so much worse so i guess switch!hazel but like, switch!reader, idk everyone's just a whore. there's an "i love you" (or.. multiple, i guess). there's a mirror. there's a vibrator. purely stream of consciousness, i don't even think the position they're fucking in makes physical sense fr. i was bored and i was thinking, so i wrote a lot. this whole thing is not realistic btw. i have very little confidence that hazel's blowing anyone's back out, but. it's my first day out in a min so i'm rusty. all respect to the community. next time when i pull up, i'll offer something a little more tame and saccharine as opposed to [exaggerated p*rnstar moans!!!]. reblogs and whatnot appreciated.)

so, i have this .. picture.

of you putting a bullet vibe in the pocket of hazel's strap before she fucks you from behind for the first time.

she eventually finds the confidence to blow your back out, and tbh, you think it's gonna end with you seeing stars because you can already hear the fucking lottery machines going off in your head. she's fucking you so well, and hazel's problem is that you're letting her know.

at first she thinks she's going crazy. but those fucking mewls into the pillow over how deep she is, how she's making you feel so good, how you've missed her so much, are sending shocks through her clit that the vibe keeps amplifying, everytime her pelvis hits your ass.

if she thrusts hard enough, which god knows she does, it almost makes her buckle over.

you're left clenching the sheets, and gasping against the linen while she fucks you, taking you in a way that's so uncharacteristically perverse that you don't even have the brain capacity to ask yourself why you didn't ask her to take you like this, sooner. her thrusts are quick and shallow, her words breathy and a little sharp. with every jolt of your body forwards as she experimentally blows your back out, it's like you feel yourself becoming more and more removed from this fucking planet. you can't help but cry -- sob, even -- as she makes you into a mess of limbs, leaving you tugging at your tits in one split second, and gripping at the sheets the next.

something happens, though.

where her hips rut into yours in deep, hard thrusts, spaced out by what feels like eternities, you can hear her. she's moaning now, breath quickening and chest rippling everytime her crotch hits yours at a particular angle. she's mewling, and unless you're hallucinating from how fucked up you are, you can hear her --

"fuck... f--uuh--ck, fuck, fuckfuck..."

-- silently beginning to whimper.

the girl goes from bullying your cunt to burying her strap deep enough in it to make the apex of its curve nudge against your g-spot, in a way that leaves your mouth hanging wide open with nothing spilling out of it maybe other than drool, but...

it's the slick warmth of hazel's back pressed nearly flush against yours and the heat of her breath against your shoulder that makes your eyes flutter open, facing your reflection in the floor-length mirror stationed across from hazel's bed.

hazel's in it so deep, you can't even see the strap anymore. and by no exaggeration, it's like an earthquake pulses through her body everytime she nudges her hips into your ass, making your vision blurry. she's rutting into you. greedily grinding her strap into your cunt in the effort of chasing her own high.

it wasn't a secret that hazel was sensitive. more often than not, the poor girl writhed against your mouth whenever she let you put it on her ("let you" is a loose sentence -- she begs for it, sometimes). you don't even know why you're surprised that your girlfriend is getting this close over having a bullet vibe pressed against her clit, hardly protected by fabric. "b--babe--"

what sounds like a plea, amongst the feeling of hazel's thighs trembling against the back of yours, inspires something sinister inside you.

you wind your hips against her, pressing back against the strap and the toy. the sight of your ass rolling against hazel's pelvis, combined with how good it feels is gonna actually, like, make hazel fucking--

"don't cum."

she loses her breath, entirely, and her rhythm, apparently. she slows, as if that was her body's instinct to obey your orders, despite the string of breaths that tumbles out of her mouth. "n-- wha-- fuck, no, nonono--"

you wind your hips deeper into hers, extracting a moan from your own throat -- fuck, maybe your gut, since that's how deep you could feel her. you press your ass into her until you feel the buzz of the vibe against folds, the frequency of it changing and humming as you press it further into her clit. "y--es," you grit. "don't fucking cum yet, hazel."

the dull, rolling vibrations through the fabric of the strap draw hazel's eyes into the back of her head, and then closed. she's grunting now -- or all of the above -- and she tries her best to unchap her lips, fruitlessly dragging over them. the little breaths she takes through them only brings them back to being puffy, pink, and a gateway of noise that gives evidence to struggle.

"gonna let me count you down?" you puff out your sentence in one breath, and hazel can fucking hear the grin in your still-fucked-out tone and it makes her whine louder.

"yeah? gonna fuckin' let me count you down so you can cum in me, haze?"

cum.. in you. three words that you'd never even fucking uttered to her before this, and that she never fucking thought she would ever hear and.. it looks like she can't complain, because her eyes roll into the back of her head and hazel swears that she -- at least, briefly -- meets jesus christ, "oh my god--," hazel slurs, hips rolling impossibly deeper into yours, it's a miracle she hasn't swabbed your cervix yet -- "ohmygod, oh my god--"

"three..."

ohfuck. ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck. it's the soft chorus that she whispers to herself as she starts to fuck herself into you, again, opting for thrusts as a means of trying to regain control with no consideration for your demise. the vision of her blurs in the mirror, and you feel your fists grasping at her sheets again.

"fuck--" you croak. "t--two.."

she pulls you further into her, and at this point, hazel's okay with being written off as a lost cause, 'cause fuck, it's not like she has a choice. the strap brief is soaked and it's entirely your fault, and god, she throws her head back. a mess of words, a mess of sensations, hazel just blurts, "oh my g--od--i love you--"

you burst out laughing at the random proclamation, admist everything.

she forces her head down to watch you, jaw hung open. and at this point, she's just speaking. rambling and slurring and gasping, tears-in-eyes-in-awe-and-all, as she watches you throw your ass back against her.

"iloveyou so much, you're so f--ucking hot, whatthefuck?--"

there's something weirdly sweet about it. something that makes your cunt clench around the strap in a way that hollows you out shortly thereafter, and lets hazel hit that fucking spot just right. before you know it, you're wherever hazel is, cunt fully creaming around the silicon.

"i love you--" you dumbly spit out a giggle, a gasp causing a steam of spit to cascade off your bottom lip and onto hazel's navy sheets. "babe," you warn. "ohfuck, ohmyfuckinggod, you're gonna make me cu---"

"fuckingsayone," hazel, unbelievably pleads while she unbelievably spears her strap into your cunt. "oh my fucking god, say one, please, please, pleaseplease--"

she starts begging. unprompted. "it's s-so good, it's so, so good, feels so fucking good, wanna c--um in you--" and she probably repeats it. probably repeats that she wants to cum in you until she's blue in the face and,

"o-one--"

until you let her.

the noise that's ripped from hazel's throat is .. embarrassing. virginal, almost. fully reverberates off the walls, and she trembles. her clit convulses against the vibe, twitching with every short stream of her release and she folds. poor girl was holding your hips for something -- for reassurance, to get a grip, dear life, perhaps? as her hips languidly fuck and press into the surface of your ass., rocking your near limp-frame after you've pretty much creamed all over her strap.

hazel hangs over you for god knows how long, dark hair shaggy and some strands stuck to her forehead in wavy wisps. cheeks flushed, and lower lip bitten to hell. the bullet vibe fucking dies, thank god almighty, because god knows she was not in any shape to reach down and turn it off.

she stays like that for a while, until she you feel her again. this time, only gentler, and much more like herself. soft hands caressing the skin of your back, her breath warm and shaky as she peppers a splay of kisses across your skin.

as you come from the surface of your own high, you feel yourself hum. still full of her, and dizzy with it. despite it, you manage -- slurring, slightly.

"haze?"

there's a hum, somewhere.

"did that really feel that good?"

hazel distantly nods, brown locks brushing against your back.

"uh.." hazel frowns, letting out a weak laugh. "y-yeah, honestly."

the mental note gets filed away somewhere deep in the haze of your brain and you grin, when you press your ass one against her just for shits and giggles and hear her gasp, from the sensitivity of it alone.

"that's my girl."

#hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan #lesbian #wlw #lgbt #bottoms 2023 #merry fuckin christmas #i am logging out see you in like 12-15-35 hours

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ddejavvu · 1 year

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reader wearing reallyyy low cut tank tops (bonus points for tight push up bras too) waiting for roommate!spencer to make a move 😮‍💨

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

this went a little haywire.. i'm not really sure how to label this?? she plans this out, she wants him to do something to her, but she pretends it was just an accident, and she does verbally consent after he makes a move but he doesn't know that she's planned it so it's iffy? like it's all completely consensual there's just some blurred lines in there, so please, this is your warning just in case, if you think that'll make you uncomfortable, do not read this.

this post is 18+, minors dni.

Spencer's smarter than most. He's logical, he evaluates situations before jumping in, and he's quick to catch a lie. That's why you're so nervous about engineering a crisis.

There's a chair in your bedroom with a space beneath it. It's a rocking chair with squeaky hinges, and the dowels between the legs are just low enough to the ground for you to be stuck beneath. In reality, if you rolled your shoulders in and ducked your head, you'd be out in a second. But being stranded in a tight skirt with skimpy panties and a push-up bra while you beg Spencer to help you sounds much more appealing.

"Spencer!" You shout, taking a deep breath, here goes nothing.

The chair faces your door, so he sees you face-to-face when he comes in. He stops short in the doorway, eyes desperately glued to your sheepish smile as he tries not to let them fall to your amplified cleavage.

"I'm stuck," You whine, as if it isn't obvious.

"Oh, uh- okay," He steps forward, looking like every step costs him a year off his life, "Are you- does it hurt?"

"Not really," You wriggle your hips experimentally, and his teeth clench, “Will you help me?”

“Yeah, yeah, uh- yeah.” He stammers, rushing for the back of the chair. He’s greeted with an obscene view of your ass, and you’re guessing he can see the curve of your cunt through your panties. You hear him kneel, one of his knees cracks, then you wait for him to make his move.

You’re expecting hands on your shoulders, maybe even one pushing your head down flush to the carpet. Your stomach swarms with butterflies at the thought of being pinned by Spencer, but they seem to multiply in thousands when he actually makes a move.

You feel something soft, wet, and hot against your thighs. You let out an involuntary gasp as he licks at the crease between your thigh and your cunt, feeling his nose press against your panties.

“I’m sorry,” He whimpers, speaking against your clothed pussy, “I- I need-”

“More,” You gush, arching your back to push your cunt further into his face, "Please, Spence, I need more."

He doesn't even seem to register your panties there, tongue lapping fruitlessly against the fabric. You're not sure if you're soaked from his spit seeping through the fabric or because you're starting to get wet, but either way, you're dripping. He seems to notice, too, finally yanking your panties aside.

"Oh- oh my god," He groans, finally tasting your slick on his tongue as it pours from your cunt, "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Shut up," You beg, only nudging yourself further and further back onto his face, "Just keep going!"

"But I didn't ask!" He delves further into your cunt, tongue dipping through your folds and pressing hot to your core, "And that's not fair, you're- you're stuck, and-"

"I'm not stuck," You scoff, face buried in the carpet, cheek-first, "I did this on purpose, Spence! I wanted you to fuck me!"

You feel the exact moment that he freezes. Tongue posed hot and wet in your cunt, he slowly pulls away, and you hear him lick his lips.

"You're not stuck?" He asks, and you would kill to see the look on his face.

"No," You wriggle your shoulders, showcasing the give you have beneath the dowel, "Spence, please, just keep going."

"No," He decides, reaching for your hips. He hauls you out from under the chair with impressive strength, and you can barely yelp before you're tossed face-down on your mattress, the springs bouncing your body, "No, you wanted me to fuck you, so I'm gonna fuck you."

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thelargefrye · 4 months

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Welcome to Lost Paradise: February Filth Fest the 2024 tour featuring artist ATEEZ and Y/N. Throughout the month of February, the artist will perform a concert each day around a certain theme. this is ensure that each show of the tour is different from last one and that everyone gets a personalized experience.

PERFORMERS : ATEEZ + Y/N

GENRES : SMUT

WARNINGS : LANGUAGE, MATURE THEMES, SMUT, EACH CHAPTER WILL HAVE ITS OWN WARNINGS // READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED

want to join the tour ? check this out here !

KEEP UP WITH THE LATEST SHENANIGANS ON TOUR WITH Y/N. the master list for each day is under the cut.

day one : " getting the vip treatment from hongjoong " ( deepthroating )

day two : " broke up with my douchebag ex that cheated on me ... thanks hwa and joong for keeping me company " ( cheating / creampie )

day three : " mirror mirror on the wall, who's the hottest of them all and why is it yeosang? " ( mirror sex )

day four : " mingi dressed up as a cowboy for today's show ... anyone want to save a horse and ride a cowboy? no? just me? " ( public sex )

day five : " where did hongjoong get those blindfolds ? " ( auralism / sensory deprivation )

day six : " ugh , jongho looks so good today 😩 " ( dacryphilia )

day seven : " who knew yunho was a peeping tom when it came to me and woo " ( voyeurism )

day eight : " wooyoung you craaaaaazzyyyyy . . . i like it " ( experimental / nipple play )

day nine : " i miss sleeping with seonghwa . . . WAIT NOT LIKE THAT " ( long distance sex / praise )

day ten : " i will literally quit my job to start an onlyfans RIGHT NOW ! don't test me choi san " ( hate fucking )

day eleven : " i wanted to sleep but yunho said no 🙁 " ( somnophilia )

day twelve : " do you think san and yeosang have a mommy kink ? cause they acting like my mommys right now " ( mommy kink )

day thirteen : " oof– seonghwa can guard me ANY DAY with that uniform of his " ( uniform )

day fourteen : " yes , it is i – your favorite goddess " ( threesome / ritual )

day fifteen : " n e ways jongho can degrade me any day of the week " ( femdom / degradation )

day sixteen : " mingi looks a little cold . . . i'm gonna help him get warm " ( cockwarming )

day seventeen : " hongjoong is currently the bane of my existence and so annoying " ( body worship )

day eighteen : " WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME SEONGHWA WAS SO BIG THIS IS ILLEGAL " ( size kink )

day nineteen : " any screaming you hear tonight from me is thanks to yeosang " ( masturbation / edging )

day twenty : " what is this ? the addams family ? " ( soft dom-sub / roleplay )

day twenty - one : " tonights concept is birth of venus with yunho " ( aphrodisiacs / overstimulation )

day twenty - two : " i like dragons . . . LOOKING AT YOU JONGHO AND HWA " ( double penetration )

day twenty - three : " mingi , you cannot be sexy and soft at the same time . please my heart " ( breeding kink )

day twenty - four : " woo is literally that one kinky sticker that says something like ' don't make fun of me i'll cum ' and i think that says a lot about the both of us " ( pegging / feminization )

day twenty - five : " me and seonghwa were just watching a movie before san crashed movie night lol " ( free use / spit play )

day twenty - six : " peach and bowser who ? sorry i only know me and san " ( tentacle sex )

day twenty - seven : " it's you " ( cuckolding )

day twenty - eight : " wow , wooyoung can get feral sometimes 🫠 " ( predator-prey play / strength kink )

day twenty - nine : " happy birthday to me i guess 🥳 " ( gangbang )

smalls note : just a reminder that anyone is free to join february filth fest! make sure to tag me and topaz (sanjoongie) and use the tag #joongfryefff24! also this is my personal master list for the event and not the official post which is linked above.

credits : header template is by storm studio's on canva.

#📽 ─ series .#lost paradise : fff.#joongfryefff24

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bettyfrommars · 7 months

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invisibleMan!eddie x fem!reader

I had a smut request from the dear @strangerfreak for invisible!eddie and reader having sex in front of a mirror as a blurb, but it's 1.8k, so, close enough. I mean, why not add Invisible Man Eddie to our list of fuckable Universal Monsters.

18+ONLY, smut, boyfriend!eddie, mechanic!eddie, use of baby as a pet name, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, sex in front of a mirror, mention of using an experimental drug. No use of y/n or she/her.

author's note: so much love to those who sent smut requests in already, and I'm always happy to receive them. The two in this lil fic are very much in love and they very quickly turned into favorites of mine. This was not proofread, be gentle.

-----

“How long will it last?” You asked, staring into the space that you guessed was your boyfriend, but all you could see was the open door to the hallway.

When he moved, you caught glimpses of what looked like water ripples in the air, but otherwise, your eyes danced over the space, unsure of where to land.

Eddie lifted his hand up in front of his face, kind of loving the way he couldn’t see himself—it was cool as hell.

“Only 24 hours, according to them,” he sat down on the bed next to you, and the only reason you knew that was because the mattress sank down and you could see the indentation where his butt was. “I hope it wears off by Monday, because I don’t know if the customers at work will take to it.”

The thought made you giggle. “Imagine wrenches and tire irons floating through the bay, seemingly unattended…”

“...an oil filter changing itself,” Eddie continued, finishing your sentence. Now, you were both laughing, and Eddie gave a little snort. You could feel him lean against you, could feel his calloused hand wrap around the back of your neck, and then you melted a little when he kissed the shell of your ear.

Money had been tight lately, and Eddie took the initiative to become a human guinea pig for a research facility specializing in supernatural powers. The pay was phenomenal, but there were obviously some major risks. He hadn’t told you he was going there after work, so you lost your mind a bit when you saw his van rolling up the road with no one behind the wheel.

“Oh wait, baby, watch this,” you felt him get up off the bed, and then you followed the imprints of his feet that appeared in the carpet to where his service coat hung on the door. A pack of smokes appeared in the air, and you watched in awe as a lighter lit a cigarette. It was as if you were in the presence of some animated Disney film.

Eddie inhaled and the tip glowed; you could see the smoke enter his lungs, and then puff out his nostrils when he gave another snort. “This is wild,” he returned to his seat next to you on the bed. You could tell he was giddy with that schoolboy enthusiasm. “I gotta get over to Steve’s later tonight and mess with him somehow.”

“I think this is the first time I’m actually grateful for your nicotine addiction,” you cupped your hand where you knew his jaw was to feel his warm flesh that your eyes kept telling you was not there. “I can tell where your face is now.”

The cigarette bounced in the air. “Do you wanna get high and have sex with your invisible boyfriend?”

—-----

It was your idea to do it in front of the huge closet mirror, and Eddie loved you even more in that moment for suggesting it.

It was dark, and you lit a few candles while Eddie rolled the two of you a fresh joint. You could tell he was licking the side of it without seeing his tongue; you knew his rituals by heart.

He took a big drag, and once you brought it to your lips, you watched his vest and shirt fly onto the bed, and then you felt two warm, rough hands come up your sides to ease your shirt off. With your back against the bed, your legs were wide in front of the mirror, and Eddie kissed your stomach, up your chest, and along your neck, making a needy mew erupt from your throat, urging him on.

“Yeah?” He whispered in your ear as he unhooked your bra, allowing his thumbs to graze the tender nubs of your nipples. “Is it better when you can’t see me?”

“I hate it,” you found his mouth and kissed him deep. Your pussy thumped with an aching need as he rubbed you there over your jeans. “I miss my beautiful boy.”

“Here, gimme this,” he took the joint from you and smiled against your mouth. “Before you drop it and burn the place down.”

You palmed him over his jeans, mouth watering at how hard he was. “You wanna watch your cum fill me up, don’t you?”

“Oh fuck,” he breathed, and then he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you close, kissing you so that your tongues wrestled together as if they were fucking.

You watched invisible hands pull your jeans off, and then the rest of his clothes, including his boxers, clumped to the floor, heavy with wallet and chain. You knew his cock was bobbing in the air somewhere near, but thankfully you didn’t have to wonder for too long because his mouth was on you again.

When his two fingers sank into your hole, you whimpered and clenched around him.

“Fuck, I love you,” he murmured against your throat, and then you felt his head turn to look at what you could see in the reflection. Even though he was situated between you and the mirror, he could see you open for him, straining around the thickness of his digits. He could see your arousal trickling down, soaking wet to the carpet.

You found his curved length and twisted your hand around the head. “Let me taste your invisible cock,” you said with a hungry purr. You were both paying attention to the mirror show as he sank a third finger in, and Eddie bucked his hips against you at the sight.

“Wait, wait,” he gasped. “Let me try something.”

Your face was in his hair and you ran a few scratches down his back, imagining him there as clear as day.

He scissored his fingers inside you to watch it spread. “God, you’re so beautiful, I can’t believe you’re mine.”

You grabbed his face for another long, hard kiss while his fingers fucked into you. Eddie dove his cock into your grip over and over and you spit on the C-shape your hand was making to give it more slip.

He backed off and put his forehead to yours, breathing heavy, bringing his soaked fingers out to draw lazy circles on your clit. “I’m gonna cum like this if we’re not careful.”

“Mmmmh,” you hummed, stroking your thumb over his swollen, leaking tip. “I think it’s time we see what this monster can do in real time.”

He couldn’t get into position fast enough. Since you were on the floor, he yanked two pillows down off the bed to put behind your head and at your lower back. He held your legs up by your knees, but then checked the angle in the mirror and put your leg down, asking you to move your hips slightly.

“Maybe I should be invisible next time,” you joked.

“Please baby, don’t say that,” he brushed his lips over your knee. “I always want to be able to see you.”

From where he was, he didn’t have to turn his head too far to get a glimpse of the action, and you could see everything. In the reflection, you watched the way he wet the head of his cock in your folds, spreading them open, making your glistening lips flutter.

If not for his hissed curses and sounds of pleasure, you would’ve thought you were having a wet dream or being made love to by a ghost.

“So this is what it would be like to have sex with a ghost,” you mused aloud, feeling the weed hit you as Eddie sank deeper.

He grunted. “It’s good practice, in case I die first, I’m gonna haunt the fuck out of you.”

“Impale me with that ghost cock, baby,” you wiggled your tongue at him.

And, so he did.

He buried himself to the base with a groan, followed by your whimpers that coaxed him to swivel his hips.

“Holy shit,” Eddie turned his head and marveled at the way your hole expanded and he could see inside of you. The mix of your arousals began to foam a bit from the friction and Eddie’s hips moved faster.

You swiped your fingers over your clit, imagining Eddie’s hair hanging down his shoulders and his guitar pick necklace hitting against his chest with every thrust.

He eased back with a huff, pacing himself. "I’m so close,” you could hear him suck in his bottom lip.

“Don’t stop,” you hushed with a hitch in your breath and Eddie noticed you working your clit in a certain way—-you were close too.

“Oh, shit, okay,” he continued, glancing in the mirror only once more while he set a steady pace.

Your walls clenched and throbbed on him like a fist, making him mumble incoherently.

“I’m gonna cum so hard baby fuck—are you watching?” his thrusts stuttered and your eyes were glued to the mirror as you witnessed his seed coat your walls and drip down your ass as he pumped it in.

“Eddie!” The sight of it sent you into orbit and your walls milked him aggressively as the orgasm rolled through you like velvet firecrackers.

Eddie liked to watch your face when you came, but as the pleasure subsided, he turned to see what you could see.

“Fuckkk, that’s insane,” he mumbled, working his length in and out so he could watch the cum spill out and then get stuffed back in. “I’m so fucking in love with you.”

When he was done watching the show, he dropped his head to your shoulder and let himself slip out of your warm heaven. You found his hair and brushed your fingers through it, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer until your bodies met and he let you have his weight.

“Baby, look,” you nudged him to notice the reflection again, and when he did, he saw you on the ground with your arms curled around nothing, like you were trying to hug the air. “Now you can go down on me in a public place and no one would know.”

He lifted his head up, and you tried to decide where his eyes were. “Can we try that tomorrow before this wears off?” He asked.

You leaned forward to kiss his mouth, but ended up kissing his nose. “Meet you at a table in front of the Sbarro in the food court tomorrow at 11. I’ll be sure to wear a skirt.”

“Damn, that reminds me,” he got to his feet abruptly and you felt drips of his release land on your stomach. “I need to go over and show this to Steve. So much to do before I lose my superpower.”

“I’ll drive, how about that?”

“Deal.”

#Eddie Munson fic #Eddie munson fanfiction #invisibleMan!eddie #invisible Eddie #Eddie Munson smut #Eddie Munson blurb #mechanic!eddie #boyfriend!eddie #stranger things smut

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loupy-mongoose · 6 months

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*Ahem*

Happy Halloween!! ^w^

Bug Fables.

It's my current favorite video game, and actually, you can thank it for Linden Roots existing~

I'll explain, but in order to do so I have to dive into spoilers for one of my absolute favorite plots for one of my absolute favorite characters, so I need to slap on a;

MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING!

In my opinion, this game is best experienced SPOILER FREE, so if you haven't played it and want to some day, I recommend skipping my info dump below. (This info can be acquired before beating the main game though. :>)

You're okay with spoilers? Yes? Okay, carry on.

So.

Those who are familiar with Leif's story will probably see how Bug Fables influenced the creation of Linden Roots.

A long while ago, I mentioned Randy being inspired by my favorite fictional character.

That's Leif.

Leif is a moth who is ancient.

And dead.

Loooooong before the game takes place (I can't find an exact timeframe; it's like a generation or two), Leif went with a team of bugs to explore a cave, but ended up dying in there. In that same cave, a group of scientists later experimented on cordyceps. Now, as soon as they became relevant to the story I was HOOKED.

I learned about cordyceps as a kid, and they scared the crap out of me. But it also was one of those morbidly fascinating things I'd look into once in a while. (Before anyone tells me, yes, I know that's what's in The Last of Us.)

If you don't know, IRL cordyceps basically turn bugs into zombies.

Anyway, the scientists were trying to find a way to create eternal life (what else is new lol), and did this through cordyceps. Which, as one could guess when dealing with zombie fungus, ended up going badly for the scientists.

One of the "failed" experimental fungi was thrown out, and found its way to the deceased Leif, and brought him back to life. It took on his memories, and Leif woke up without knowing what happened, until you dig into his story during the game. So the "Leif" we know in the game isn't truly Leif, but is the fungus living as him.

Now... I'm sure that sounds a bit familiar...

This idea of a character being dead-but-not struck a chord with me. It fascinated me to no end.

But there's more to it.

As one might expect, Leif has some tragedy surrounding him.

While playing the game, you can stumble upon his decedents.

This here is Muze. With a 'z'

This is Leif's great great however-many-greats grand-daughter, who you meet in the game's present day.

When he was alive, he had a wife.

His wife was Muse. With an 's'.

We never get to see what Muse looked like, but he says in-game that Muze is a spitting image of her. Hence why Akoya is dressed as she is in my pic. She's dressed as Muse.

Now, according to the developers, Muse was pregnant when Leif went into the cave where he died.

And he didn't know.

There are several moments in the game that show Leif's potential as a father, but one in particular stood out to me.

(Note for the images; Leif refers to himself as "We/Us".)

Oops, I forgot one. Vi finishes by shouting "I said it's not happening!"

The text in the last shot bounces/wiggles in-game, indicating playfulness or joking.

If you're familiar with Goombario and Goombella in the Paper Mario games, this dialogue is this game's version of that. You can have the main characters give flavor text on any area and most characters in the game. (And I recommend doing it often, as it adds SOOO much to the game! ^v^)

This bit takes place in the first room after Kabbu and Vi meet Leif. And at the end of the room, an event happens to change what's said for the rest of the game. Meaning, the only time you see it is RIGHT after they meet; He was getting playful with these two bugs he'd met only moments ago.

I'm sure it can just be seen as sarcasm, but having found this dialogue after learning about Leif missing out on raising a child, I saw it as a clue that he would've been a great dad. And it shattered me. ;w;

Randy and Akoya are wish-fulfillment. They're my version of Leif and Muse. They're my way of giving Leif and Muse what I'm sad they missed out on, while also keeping some of the angst, lol. Thankfully, they've evolved into their own separate characters that I feel I can be proud of, but Leif's story and tragedy still has a deep, well-protected place in my heart.

Anyway, thanks for checking out my ramble. I accept no blame for any potential spoiler you might've seen against your will. XD

#Pokemon #Linden Roots #Art #Bug Fables #<3

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akoyaxs · 6 months

Text

Tunutu pt 2

Okay so i'm FINALLY getting somewhere with my writing!!! Enjoy this little snippet of what I've written so far, and I swear the rest WILL be better it'll just take a few days 💗

The next time you saw Aonung after that day in your room, you didn't know what you were expecting. Maybe, like he usually did with other girls, he'd pretend nothing ever happened. Maybe he'd taunt you and say it was all a joke, despite everything you said.

If you're being honest- you didn't have high hopes. It's not like all your other experiences with Metkayina men had ended with them ackegknowledging you afterward, after half-breaking your back and saying you were the tightest thing they've ever felt.

But you certainly weren't expecting him to stick to his words.

Days had passed since you slept with Aonung, days in which you didn't see him around the village or anywhere around Awa'atlu. Of course, your mind had just come to terms with the fact he was like all the other guys, and you really had been stupid, listening to the meaningless pillow-talk riff raff he'd cooed at you afterwards.

No one would say where he was, and Tsireya, Rotxo and the Sully's all acted infuriatingly knowing and smug when you sneakily asked them. Very casual. Definitely off-hand. Nonchalant for sure.

And you were. It wasn't that deep that Aonung, like you predicted and prepared yourself for, did not stick to his words about sticking around and everything. You were stupid and hopeful, and you didn't really blame him either.

So you were trying your best to put him behind you when a whole week had passed without you seeing him, and you were starting to fall back into your old patterns.

Which is why, on the eighth day, you could be found in the Tsahìk's marui.

There had been an incident at training where Zei'ke had gotten a little bruised and battered. He was very good looking, so you tolerated his chatter. God- he really was even stupider than Aonung. Why did you always just go for big stupid hunks?

But at the end of the day, he was a big hunk, so you were happy to patch him up, applying ointment to his cuts and bruises, bandaging the worse injuries and massaging his sore muscles.

The trouble was, Tsireya had begged you to come swimming that afternoon, and this was your first time wearing swimmers out in the village. So maybe your bikini was a little smaller than it could of been, but who was it hurting, really, to be showing off the best assets you had to offer in a strictly na'vi village.

It certainly wasn't hurting Zei'ke, given the way his eyes stared not so conspicuously down your top when you bent over, or how the ties of your bikini bottoms peeked over your shorts.

What's the harm in having some fun, you thought.

It wasn't like Aonung was going to do anything, his absence had made it pretty clear that he was a liar, that it really was just about sex, maybe even just experimentation.

But when you moved closer, leaning up to massage Zei'ke's shoulders, you were surprised by the way he flinched back.

"What, am I hurting you?" you ask, frowning slightly. You had been careful, using your hands gently and besides, na'vi were literally impossible for you to injure.

"No," Zei'ke says slowly, blinking owlishly at you. His gaze flicks down to your breasts, then he clears his throat and looks away. You frown.

"Is there a problem with my clothing?"

"No- I just... I should go," he says hastily.

"Why?" you ask, weary and suspicious. You wonder vaguely if suddenly, everyone's starting to wonder if you're turning into the evil sort of tawtute. "I haven't finished massaging your muscles-"

"You shouldn't," Zei'ke says shortly. "He wouldn't like it."

That was new. Your eyes narrow as you try to guess what this skxawng is going on about, but you have a sinking sort of feeling you know exactly what's happening.

"And who are you talking about?"

Zei'ke blinks guiltily. Obviously he wasn't supposed to say anything, but if he was careless and clumsy enough to let the first words slip, you could pull the rest out of him.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain future Olo'eyktan, would it?" you ask casually, shifting on your feet to look more careless. "You know, tall, stupid, very good looking. Name's Aonung?"

"No!" Zei'ke practically bursts out, before scrunching his face up guiltily. Even someone that thick would realise he wasn't convincing anyone. Your eyes narrow further.

"What does him not liking it have to do with anything?" you ask.

"He is my commander," Zei'ke says owlishly.

"No," you huff, growing tired of his incompetence. "Why would he not like it?"

"Because... well... you fucked him..."

"Charming," you mutter under you breath, rolling your eyes at his very limited vocabulary. "What does us sleeping together have to do with anything? I've been with other na'vi men, and that didn't change anything, especially about others?"

Zei'ke frowns, processing your words, and you want to take him by the shoulders and rattle him. It would be hard though, given he's double the size of you.

"You are his," Zei'ke says simply.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"No other man goes near you," Zei'ke explains. "Sometimes we can argue with the claim, but he is to be Olo'eyktan, and we do not dare-"

"What is he playing at?" you snap. "We just fucked, I've fucked others and nothing ever happened with that? Just because he's the little prince he thinks he can control what I do?"

"Uh... I don't know?" he says weakly, and your scowl deepens.

"How did you even know about that anyway?"

"We can all smell his scent on you," Zei'ke says, face flushed with embarrasment. "You did not realise, tawtute?"

"Obviously fucking not," you growl.

"Besides," Zei'ke says, obviously eager to take some of the heat off himself, "Aonung got upset with us asking about you. That's why I'm so battered."

At this, you freeze. Zei'ke can obviously tell he said something important, because he winces and scrunches his face up.

"I mean- no- I tripped-"

"Shut up," you say carelessly. "You saw Aonung?"

"Yes? I mean... he's been at training for day-"

With a furious growl, you push past Zei'ke, storm out of the marui, and stalk along the village. You can feel his eyes blinking owlishly at you, clearly torn between confusion and worry for what Aonung might do to him.

Rage is boiling in your veins. First, Aonung ignores you after promising a million things. Then he "claims" you or whatever the fuck that means. And now it turns out, he was here. In Awa'atlu. And he just didn't come and see you.

You storm across the sand to the warrior grounds, hands balled into little fists. All the sparring and beatings and fights don't faze you, you storm straight through all the tussles towards the familiar broad figure of Aonung on the very opposite side.

Fights pause and everyone stares as you stride past, all tiny and furious in your bikini and shorts, less clothing than they'd ever seen you in.

Finally, you reach Aonung. He hasn't noticed all his warriors have stopped fighting, he hasn't even noticed you storming towards him. He's busy sharpening a spear, discussing something with Neteyam seated beside him.

Neteyam is the first to spot you, and his eyes go wide. Before he can say anything, Aonung notices his friend's surprise, and turns with a small, puzzled frown on his stupidly handsome face to see you right in front of him.

Thank Eywa he's seated, because it makes your next action a lot easier. You slap him. Hard.

Several people gasp, everyone mutters, and all eyes are now on you as you glare up at him. Aonung's eyes are dark, but he doesn't say anything. He looks a little confused, and that makes you even more furious.

You shove him hard. Mortifyingly, yet predictably if you're looking at it logically, Aonung doesn't move a single inch, and suddenly you're right against his warm, muscular body. Stupid skxawng, his hotness making it hard for you to be mad at him.

"You dick," you growl. "You fucking idiot-"

Aonung clears his throat, clearly aware of everyone watching with varying degrees of surprise, interest and amusement as this little angry tawtute snarls curses at their commander. Neteyam, too, looks slightly entertained.

"Dismissed," he calls to his warriors.

They all wander off, taking their sweet time to cast glances back at you, muttering excitedly between themselves. Neteyam stands awkwardly, trying to hide a smile.

"I'm going to go," he says decidedly. "I'll see you later bro. Good luck."

Aonung nods tightly, before his gaze flicks back down to you, glaring up at him with all your might. This fucking skxawng is going to be the death of you. He obviously wasn't going to be the first one to speak, so you took a deep breath.

#avatar fanfiction #aonung fanfiction #aonung fic #aonung x reader #avatar smut #aonung x female reader #avatar fandom #avatar the way of water #avatar #aonung

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captain-mj · 8 months

Note

May tumblr endure the pain of all the angst fics on it's sight for eating your askbox.

Well then, I'm really glad you liked the Selkie!Ghost prompt I sent in :D, I loved what you did with it ^^ -X/3NH

(If you want the old prompt just tell me)

Okay new prompt: Ghost is a monster that lives under the bed and in the closets of children. Soap has been the singular person he's haunted, not by choice, just because Soap won't have a single nightmare related to him. In fact, Soap sees him as a friend.

Ghost's kind feeds off nightmares related to them, so he's latched to Soap until he can get a singular nightmare out of him. But Soap is now in 141 and he still hasn't had that nightmare relating to him.

So Ghost now protects Soap because he's grown attached.

(Do what you want w this concept, but I was thinkin Ghost takes a shot for Johnny, but gets that nightmare he wants so bad, it's about him dying in Soap's arms. Ghost's now free, free to choose another contract, but he doesn't want to get anymore nightmares, he wants to be with Soap. (also his family isn't too nice cause "he's the reason SOap doesn't experience nightmares, he's doing it wrong" (No soap is just a massive fan of monsters and doesn't feel scared around them)))

Wow thats a lot, well enjoy ^^

Hello friend! I want to say, I absolutely adore your asks and I'm sorry for always taking so long to answer them! They usually need to be a tad longer than my normal stuff and I want to do them justice! Also, did some very mild experimentation with some formatting/punctuation. Nothing super noticeable but if you notice something looks weird, its on purpose!

Also, Ghost is also a child for the first portion of this. He matures a bit faster but their age gap is only really a year (felt weird writing about an adult monster under some kid's bed)

Ghost had never, ever heard of a kid like Soap. The kid was... well. If changelings were real, Ghost would put money on him being one.

Soap regularly grabbed spiders and played with him. Not the cruel playing of little tyrants that ripped their legs off, but a genuine, loving little thing. He'd pet them and let them crawl over his hands and set them outside when they started to get agitated.

Snakes fascinated him. The first time he managed to see one at school, he came home, sat on the floor and told Ghost all about it. How the scales moved and reminded him of Ghost's arms. Then he asked Ghost if he was a snake which made him lash out and try to yank the kid under the bed.

However, since Soap feared him no more than he feared snakes or spiders or soft kittens, he just went straight through him. It looked more like he tried to pat him than anything else.

Ghost couldn't believe it. Other monsters his age were back home! Bragging! And here he was, taking way too much time.

"I'm going to kill you!"

Soap sighed. "You're always so grumpy. Do you want me to make you a cup of tea?"

"...I guess." Ghost pouted.

Soap smiled at him, radiant. Ghost wondered if he was made out of the sun.

The tea was delicious. He even got biscuits on the side.

"Why do you want me to be scared of you anyway?"

Ghost refused to talk to him about it, worried it would ruin his chances of ever going home. Soap smiled at him.

"Is it like a grade? If you scare me, you get a better grade?"

"Something like that." Ghost agreed. "I need to scare you."

"I will do my best to be scared by you!" Soap smiled at him and finished eating.

On Soap's thirteenth birthday party, far far after when Ghost should be long gone, he asked for some odd things. Horror posters and books about mythology. Ghost knew he was trying to get more information on him, probably to banish him.

Soap never did anything though. He continued to be his friend with so much ease. He also never told anyone else. At some point, Soap realized this was abnormal and instead of panicking like Ghost had hoped or maybe telling someone, he just moved on.

"We're friends. I couldn't endanger you like that." Soap had answered honestly when Ghost asked.

"We are NOT friends."

Soap smiled easily. "I'll get you to admit it one day. I promise." He gently nudged Ghost's shoulder. Ghost hadn't been touched in a while and the fact that Soap could touch him but he couldn't quite touch Soap was... weird. A little scary.

Soap smiled at him gently.

Ghost hated the day that... man put the idea of the military in Soap's head. He inspired Soap apparently. Sent him on this spiral to try to get into the military.

"Fucking hell, Johnny. The military?" Ghost sat on his bed and stretched out. His shadows had shifted from... well shadows into dark clothing. Recently, he had gotten used to adjusting them to look like a leather jacket, leather pants and dark gloves. If this so happened to be exactly like Soap's most recent movie crush, then it was purely coincidental. And if maybe, just maybe, Ghost enjoyed the lingering gazes from Soap, that was also coincidental.

He cropped up in Soap's dreams sometimes, but it was never frightening. The only reason he even knew was because Soap sometimes muttered his name in his sleep.

"It would be great! Going out there, helping people, good innocent people. Going on missions and adventures."

"Your brains being splattered against the ground. Dying. Fucking up and hurting people that don't deserve it." Ghost grinned, ignoring Soap's scrunched up face.

"Stop being such a bawbag. This isn't going to scare me so you're just doing it to be a dick." Soap hit Ghost with a pillow.

Ghost laughed and laid flat on his bed. He went quite when Mrs. MacTavish passed by, asking if either of them needed snacks. "She can't hear me, can she?"

"Course she can. Why couldn't she?" Soap tilted his head.

Ghost frowned. At this rate, he might as well just become human. He already fucking was. "How long?"

"About two years now. She thinks you're super shy." Soap explained, not understanding how terrible this was for Ghost.

Ghost dissolved, slinking under the bed.

"Wait, Ghost!" Soap looked under the bed. "Come on. Are you sad about your family again?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE."

Soap flinched and sighed. "I'll make you tea, okay?" He left Ghost alone for a bit while he did.

Ghost did miss his family. He couldn't go back until he fucking got a stupid nightmare and he was hungry because Soap's dreams were so fucking devoid of any fear. Stupid asshole.

The tea made things a little better.

When Soap finally got everything together to join the military, he was 15. Too young to actually join, but that wasn't going to stop the asshole. He planned to join and Ghost had to go with him.

The problem? While Ghost was roughly 16, he didn't have any papers saying he existed and he couldn't just wait for Soap to come home on his leaves. So he just made some stuff. Fake documents and different things. he was also very, very fleshy. Soap and him had touched hands and his skin felt the same way.

It disgusted him. He really, really hoped that while they were in the military, Soap would learn fear.

But that didn't happen.

Because Ghost was accepted and Soap wasn't.

"You're clearly too young. Try again next year."

Ghost felt his heart drop.

Shit.

This did not occur to him as a possibility.

Soap immediately started in on the man while Ghost sat there, stunned. He tried to smoke away. Dissolve and reappear miles away and back home.

His body refused. Panic flooded him.

No.

Fuck.

Ghost spent... three years? Time was weird. But he bumbled around the military. For the first time... ever, he ate what he was supposed to. Nightmares. None of them were good enough. They weren't Soap. It was better than the nothing he had been experiencing the past 19 years. That's when they reunited again.

Soap flinched when he saw him before hearing him speak and immediately brightening. "Hello... Simon."

"Hello, Johnny."

So Ghost watched out for him. He had to keep him alive and safe. Both because of his job and also because Soap needed to dream of him to set him free.

Soap still dreamed about him. Ghost could hear him speaking his name in the dark of night. Saying it with a tone that Ghost heard other people use in these scenarios. It was different than the playful manner of when they were younger. For some reason, it made Ghost's chest flutter.

Somehow, Ghost became a Lieutenant and Soap became one of his Sergeants. They worked together well and no one ever suspected it was because they were old friends.

Ghost had long since felt human. Any connection he had to being a monster gone. Even if he fed off the fear of his comrades, they weren't exactly Soap. He still had to eat human food and had human problems like cold hands.

Still felt pain.

The bullet went straight through his chest and the blood from his wound splattered all over Soap's face.

Soap's blue eyes widened. He was finally afraid.

It tasted rather bitter.

Ghost collapsed into him and Soap cradled his body. His blood covered them both.

"MEDIC!"

Soap screamed his little head off. So loud and insistent.

Ghost wanted to dissolve. Wanted to sink back into the darkness and hide under Soap's bed again.

"never wanted to join the military."

"Why did you then?"

"wanted to stay close to you." Ghost admitted, panting. His mask felt tight around his face. "it wasn't just a job for me. hadn't been for a while."

"The military?"

"No. Johnny." Ghost leaned up and kissed him through the fabric.

He finally dissolved.

His consciousness floated somewhere. It felt like home. He could still smell the soap Mrs. MacTavish used on the sheets.

Soap dreamed of him. Ghost was rather violently dragged into it, spectating whatever Soap finally put together.

The fear and adrenaline was intoxicating. Finally rid him of the awful feeling of being hungry that had plagued him for so long.

Soap held his body. It looked much worse than it was. The entire world seemed tinged with Ghost's blood.

"Please. Please. Stay with me." Soap begged, rocking his body.

Ah.

Johnny wasn't afraid of Ghost. He was afraid for Ghost.

How endearing.

The bond between them, the hold, snapped. Ghost felt himself start to spiral away from Soap, his body wanting to spin back into smoke.

But he dug his heels in.

"No." Ghost mumbled. "Got this fucking far. Can't ditch now." He had spent the majority of his life with Soap and he was realizing now that he wanted to spent the rest of it with him too.

It continued to drag him and he struggled and thrashed until his eyes flickered open to see Soap staring at him.

"You're awake."

"Fucking hell, don't stare at me like that. And I'm supposed to be the monster here." Ghost sat up, fully healed.

Soap went to stop him before pausing. "Always forget you're not human. You okay?"

Ghost nodded.

"Do you remember what happened?"

He nodded again.

"All of it?" Soap batted those damn eyelashes at him.

"If you're asking for another kiss, you can just lean down."

This kiss didn't have fabric between them.

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #call of duty modern warfare ii #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #soapghost #cod #ghoap

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novthewolf · 8 months

Text

Two’s company, three’s a family - Part five

Summary : As a cupid, an angel of love, your mission was to make sure everyone was paired up with the right person. Yet you couldn’t get your two most ancient clients to finally end up together. And despite the 6,000 years spent on the case, you couldn’t bring yourself to give them up, oblivious to the reason…

Pairing : Aziraphale x Crowley / GN!Reader x Crowley / GN!Reader x Aziraphale (polyamorous relationship).

Parts : First - Previous - Next

Masterlist : Here

Warnings : foul language, mild nudity (chest), mention of s3x, drug mention, gun use, mild violence slow burn, english isn’t my first language.

Words : 4,4k

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Mmh... are... you sleeping ?" A very confused voice asked

"Nnh ?!" You shot up on your bed, feeling the blanket shuffle down on your legs. You tried to open your eyes in a panic before hissing when sunlight punched your irises. The curtains. You forgot the damn curtains.

"You guys gotta stop doing that... I have a door, you know." You rubbed your eyes.

It was Mihael. How nice of her to wait over night to scold you for your behaviour. You weren't naive; you knew Adriel would go complain to his friend. But you were smart enough to know she wouldn't say anything about it. It's been centuries since she learned you could actually feel. Yet she never said a word about it to Chamuel or Jophiel. You did not fully trust her, but she was okay.

"What is it like to sleep ?" Mihael was always curious, but she lacked the bravery to try. Whether it was food, walking, sex, or, in that case, sleep, to satisfy her hunger for knowledge and experimentation, she came to you.

"Mmh, peaceful.. I guess-" You looked down at your chest and decided you had enough that people kept catching you half naked. So you snatched up your tank top and got up.

"Just peaceful ? That's it ?" She jumped on through the window on your bed, shoes on. Ugh.

"Yeah, yeah, and... energised too. Listen, Mihael, why don't you tell me what you want ?"

Yes, you were a bit rude, but you just didn't have time; you needed to get to Aziraphale to discuss where the boy might be. And if you wonder, you never went to Crowley's flat. Risking being caught by unexpected visitors was enough of a reason to not visit.

"Right, right ! So..." She looked down, gloomy. "It's time, Y/N; we're going to unfold the Bound soon." She confessed with a sad smile.

You shuddered. Fuck. You forgot about that.

"You know, the four horsmen are being summoned, and we need to lay off the Love so War can fully step in."

"Yeah, I can't come into my full power..."

"Really ? Me too !" She chirped, delighted that you shared her point of view. You scoffed but smiled anyway. It's really a shame she'll never get to experience human life.

"So, now we must turn off the flow of love and go back to heaven to prepare for war."

You ruffled your hair and grabbed a drink of water. Mihael's piercing eyes were etched on the glass, and you handed it to her with a sigh. She looked so happy, you almost wanted to laugh. How selfless of you...

She didn't quite know how to drink, however, but you decided to let her test the water, so to speak. Mihael coughed a bit.

"Does that mean hate demons will rise too ?" You interrogated, your tone genuinely dull.

"Oh, they better not ! They'll have to wait for the battle to start, those worthless rascals..."

The cupid suddenly gasped and looked at you with guilt. You know she didn't mean to insult him. Your lip twitched, but you sent her a reassuring smile. Still, she couldn't shake the regret out of her scent.

"You know, maybe he didn't turn into a hate demon..." Her sweet voice faltered as she went on.

"It's fine, Mihael. You should go; I'm sure Adriel is waiting for you." You cajoled her while leading her to the door. Yes, you have a door.

"About that..." She stopped and turned around. Her dark pink eyes just scanned yours to convey what she meant. Not that she had to; you could smell the snowy nights from miles away. "Just be careful, Y/N."

Her advice kind of fell on deaf ears. You were always cautious, but you didn't live in fear of what they'd do to you if they found out you were out of line. Yet, they dread the simple thought of what you could be. You sloped against your wooden door. What a good way to start the day...

Calling off all Love so War can enter the picture. It just felt so contradictory. You were a being of love and peace; how could you be excited to see humans kill each other and fight in a war, possibly going against Crowley or... well, you knew who. You will not let this world be torn to smithereens. It's your safe place, your heaven. Your home.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You strolled through the busy London streets, eager to get to Aziraphale as quickly as possible. A few people bumped your shoulders, stomped on your toes, and cursed at you. The withdrawal of love was already happening. Unsettled in an unwelcoming environment made you skittish, and you picked up the speed.

As you reached the bookshop, you stopped to analyse its not-so-familiar presence. The energy was angelic, yes, but it was so powerful...

Shit.

Archangels. And they were just leaving.

"Whoop- !" You activated your spell hastily. The chime rang, and the two entities simply walked off.

"No war, without war. Ah ! That's quite the line !" Grabriel almost yodeled. Right. You stayed there with heavy breathing.

Subconsciously, you called off the spell. Or maybe you didn't cast it in the first place. In any case, you didn't expect to feel the pressure of someone's hand on your shoulder.

"AH !"

Adding to the fact that your heart was about to explode just a second ago' the speed of your twirl did nothing to help you stay steady on your feet. Luckily for you, Aziraphale was alert enough to come to your rescue. He pressed his hand against your scapula and held you against his torso. You felt the side of your mouth twitch.

"I'm sorry, dear. I didn't realise how nervous you were." He jived, his cheekbones showing. But the smell of grapefruit told you you were not the only one nervous here.

"What did they want ?" You asked, feeling the ground with your own two feet again.

"Oh, they were just checking the status of the Antichrist." He opened the door for you and followed your lead.

"Why ? Did they suspect anything ?"

"Surprisingly, no. Not a thing." He shrugged in disbelief. You liked the scent of disbelief m: custard. Yes, just custard. Kinda hard to believe, heh ?

"Mh, Crowley's right... Heaven's not very bright, heh ?" You snickered. You sat on the couch and happily watched him chuckle.

"It seems so. It kind of makes me wonder if we are too." He took his place next to you.

"Oh no, we're bright." You started, glancing at him while pretending to reflect. "But we're also walking disasters.." You snorted.

"We can say the same about Crowley, then." He laughed and slid his right leg underneath his left thigh. You giggled and took a big breath of the new smell. Ah, freesia and blueberry pie; there's nothing better.

"Absolutely." You leaned back on the seat, literally comforted by the scent. "I just don't understand... What happened during the baby swap ?"

A few minutes pass. Minutes later, you just stared at each other. Before finally realising what might be the source of the problem.

"I think... I'm going to call Crowley reel quick-"

The ringtone of the bookshop's phone rang, interrupting you. Aziraphale quickly got up, with the help of his hand on your knee.

"Maybe it's him." He muttered while picking it up. "Hello, Fell's Bookshop, what can I do for you ?"

You waited for him. For a few seconds. Then you got bored. You left Eden at home, so you didn't have any company. So you decided to roam around the library.

"The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter ?"

The sculpture of a prancing horse proudly sat on a small table. You always had a lot of fun drawing the details with your fingers since the day he created his bookshop, which was also the first day you ate chocolate, if you remember correctly. You blew away the little dust that settled on his back, and flew right at you, making you cough.

"But there are..." He stopped to see what you were doing. You smiled, charming him up. His nose simply twitched before resuming. "There are no copies of her book available."

You stepped away from the horse and instead looked through Aziraphale's prophecy books. It has always amused me how humans try so helplessly to predict what the future holds. You were no stranger to the thought; you had your fair share of doubts about your own future. However, you learned what happens when you ask too many questions.

"I don't have it. Nobody has-" The sudden silence pushed you to study the angel's face. Apparently, the correspondent wasn't the most polite boy. His mouth was set in a hard line, and he stuck his nose in the air. He was so outraged that he reeked of watermelon and curry. You would agree that it's not a nice combination. Also, you hadn't noticed, but his glasses were quite fancy on him. You shook the thought away.

"Well, there really is no need for that kind of language." He hung up and put down his glasses. You couldn't help but stare for a moment. His bright, white hair caught the sun in its lock, giving him a glow to his already stunning face. Oh, stop already, will you ?

When you finally gawked back at the shelves, a huge brown spider welcomed you.

"Fuck- !" You yelled and fell back down with a loud thud, knocking a few books on your way. Azirphale gasped and sprinted by your side.

"Are you okay ?" He was very anxious. You were just embarrassed out of your mind.

"I'm fine... Let's just call Crowley already."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Hey, this is Anthony Crowley. You know what to do. Do it with style."

No, it wasn't the demon answering machine. It was just you mocking him. Which he didn't seem to enjoy.

"Haha, keep laughing, and I'll bring back the spider to your face." He growled. "Why are you afraid of spiders anyway? Aren't you supposed to love all animals?"

Aziraphale was such a snitch ! Right after he got Crowley on the phone, he told him about your fall. You very distinctly heard his laugh after that.

"Stop your bickering, you two! And watch the road." He sighed, not comfortable at all. He didn't like speed that much. Nonetheless, for his best, Crowley should be the one to drive. You might give him a heart attack if you were the one behind the wheel.

"You've lost the boy."

"We've lost him." He corrected.

"A child has been lost. But you still know his age." He started to point.

"We know." He once again corrected

"We get it: you don't want to be the only one responsible." You rolled your eyes. Congratulations! You earned yourself a growl.

"We know his birthday. He's 11." Aziraphale was trying his best to keep your attention.

"You make it sound easy."

"Well, it can't be that hard..."

"At least it reduces the search area." You flapped your hand. You were still frustrated, and you felt his discouragement slowly becoming yours. Your heart filter wasn't doing very well. We only have to find his birth record."

"And then what ?"

"Well, then we find the child." Azirphale smiled. At least you could feel his hope too.

"And then what ?"

Aziraphale didn't know what to say. He simply stared at Crowley. Until a car honk cut short his attempt to find a solution.

"Watch out for that pedestrian !" The angel bawled with alacrity.

"Woah- !" You shouted. The movement had you flying on the left side of the back seat. You've never so close to the goddamn door.

"She's on the street; she knows the risk she's taking." He dissmissed. "And I'm sure it would help you two stop breathing down my neck."

You scoffed.

Oh, I'll give you 'breathing down your neck.

You scooted over to the right seat and leaned behind Crowley. Your mouth grazed his ear, and you felt the tiniest tilt of his head, like he forced himself not to move. So prideful, you joked to yourself.

"Just watch the road." You breathed down his neck. You grinned as you watched gooey bumps form on his skin. He really hated it. You laughed and pulled back. You patted his shoulders and repeated yourself. "Watch the road."

Your laughter died out as you saw Aziraphale gulp. You took back your place in the middle, almost guilty.

"Sorry, I forgot about personal space again."

Crowley's sunglasses blocked your view of his eyes; you couldn't tell if you had overstepped. We can all thank Aziraphale for his help in easing the tension.

Where is this hospital, anyway? He asked. He rubbed his sweaty palm on his trousers in an attempt to calm his nerves. Crowley coughed.

"Mh, a village near Oxford: Tadfield. His neck was still tensed. You really strung a string, huh?

"Crowley, you can't do 90 miles per hour in central London !"

"Why not ?"

"You'll get us killed! Well, inconveniently disincorporated. He granted.

"Oh God, no, not the paperwork..." You got disincorporated once, and it took you two years to finally get a new one. Still, you're sure it had been improperly delayed.

"Music ! Why don't I put on a little music...?" He hummed quizzically and looked over at you. "Do you know the Velvet Underground?"

"You wouldn't like it." Crowley interjected.

"Well, it kind of feels like you've been high the whole time."

"Oh, bepop!" He recognised you. You eyed him in disbelief before nodding.

"... Right-"

"Yah !" Aziraphale yelped. Crowley did a swerve to the right, flying you away in that direction.

"Brute !"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The air was stuffy. Like on a deeply hot day. It was overwhelming, too. As you left the car, you scanned around you, discretely sniffing the wind. It was not held in a constant flow of emotion; it permeated the air. But it felt good. It wasn't threatening in its presence; it just existed and belonged.

"Y/N ?" Crowley called out, standing in front of the manor gates next to Aziraphale. You studied the ark, made of bricks and white stone. The whole building was surrounded by metal fences, where you could at least see the central courtyard. Which seemed cluttered with a bunch of stuff.

"You're sure this is the right place? You wondered, doubtful.

You went to them, attempting to filter that particular emotion.

"It doesn't really look like a hospital." Aziraphale agreed with you when you got to their level.

But then it hit you. You gasped, like you'd been punched in the stomach. You grabbed the angel's arm to not collapse. That was so strong. You haven't felt such things in a long, long time.

"What is it ?" Crowley asked. You chuckled.

"It feels so loved." You gazed up. Aziraphale straightened your arm while he searched for it too. You pressed your hand to your chest. Your heart filter was giving you trouble, yes, but you sure as hell wouldn't complain about it.

"No, it's definitely the place. Crowley spoke, his tone faint.

"They're right..." He smiled at you, thrilled by the fulfilling sensation of love.

"Uh-hu... Sure, can we go see the nuns now ?" He led the way.

You scoffed. "Grumpy pants..." You followed in second.

Despite that, you looked at Aziraphale and giggled. You were glad to finally be able to share your joy without risking destruction for it. Immediately after, you three got shot by something.

"Argh !" For once, the three of you simultaneously exclaimed:

Crowley got hit inside his vest, right above the heart. In your case, the sharp pain was localised to your right hip. As for Aziraphale, the "bullet" struck his calf, making him hop on one foot for a second.

"What..."

You touched where the impact occurred and saw it was just... paint?

"Blue ?" Aziraphale asked, ever-so-confused.

"Heh, yellow." You snorted. Oh, you've got red. You noticed Crowley's chest was covered with red paint. "One more, and we're Power Rangers.."

"Hey !" A nasal voice hollered. Crowley took one step forward in front of you and Aziraphale. The man in army clothing scoffed. What... are they doing out there? You saw the angel shuffle to see the state of his pants. "You've all been hit! I don't know what you think you're playing at-"

Crowley abruptly roared as his demon self and the whiny player fainted.

"Well, that was fun." He smirked.

"Well, yes, fun for you. Look at the state of those trousers !" Aziraphale pivoted his leg for you to see. "I've kept them in tip-top condition for over 180 years now." Crowley started to circle around the both of you. "Oh, I'll never get this stain out."

"You could just miracle it away." You shuddered, saddened by his concern.

"Mmh, yes, but... Well, I would always know the stain was there." He explained, his tone brittle. You pouted with a smile. Ah, such pleading eyes ! How could you say no ? You twirled your wrist around, waving the paint away.

"Oh, thank you." You smiled and enjoyed the whiff of old books. The smell of thankfulness, if you wondered. You spotted the strange gun on the ground and picked it up.

"What a weird piece of hardware..." You enjoyed the design of it, actually. Might copy it, too. Replace the paintball stocking compartment with a crossbow flight groove and riser...

"Expert in the field ?" Crowley snorted before taking the gun away. "Don't your lot disapprove of guns ?" He asked and pretended to aim your way.

"Unless they're in the right hands," Aziraphale said, confiscating the weapon. "Then they give weight to a moral argument." His explanation seemed to amuse the demon, who had a big grin plastered on his face.

"A moral argument ? Really ?" He bugged the two of you. You were just thankful. Aziraphale took the subject into his own hands and just shrugged. He laughed a bit before walking towards the building.

"Come on."

Inside, a few posters and a board were displayed that showed the rules of "the paintball game". The reception seemed to also stock a few guns and helmets. Soon, they won't have to just play war... You heard the commotion through the window, plus a kindhearted "Fuck off" too.

"Charming..." Aziraphale mumbled to your right.

"Wonder where the nuns went ?" Crowley took a brochure from the little table on your left and inspected it.

"Any information about the former satanic maternity in that little paper of yours?" You teased. The demon forced a laugh before throwing the brochure away.

On your way, you encountered a young woman running your way.

"Oh, Millie from Accounts caught me on the elbow." She groaned. You ended up stopping diagonally. The angel bent slightly in front of her to check for a possible wound at her elbow. "Who's winning?"

"You're all going to lose." Crowley announced, since he was closer to her. He snapped his fingers, obviously operating a miracle. In an instant, the splashy sound of the bullets started to sound more like a machine gun than a fairly hurtful but still non-lethal weapon. The woman ran off.

"Huh..."

What the hell did you just do? Aziraphale snapped with frantic movements.

"Well, they wanted real guns, so I gave them what they wanted, he mused, visibly proud of himself. You followed right behind him. You couldn't help your incredulity and stared at him, mouth agape.

Once you got to a window, you and Aziraphale pressed against the window and saw barrels exploding, sparks, and dust everywhere.

"Crowley !" You stressed, running up to him.

"There are people out there shooting at each other. The guardian lamented by your side.

"Well, it lends weight to their moral argument." He kicked a door, shattering glass in the process. Aziraphale joined his hands and fidgeted with his fingers.

"Everyone has free will, including the right to murder. Just think of it as a microcosm of the universe."

"Oh, don't try to lecture us, buddy !

"They're murdering each other." Aziraphale stood before Crowley, stopping him in his tracks. You joined him.

You saw Crowley roll his eyes, despite his glasses.

"No, they aren't. No one's killing anyone; they're all having miraculous escapes. It wouldn't be any fun otherwise. He explained it before our pleading eyes.

You scoffed. You shared a knowing smile with Aziraphale. Sometimes, you forget that Crowley is actually a good person and are worried that he might harm humans. But he never did. Deep down, he really loved humankind. In a teasing mood, the two of you started to walk away in front of Crowley, discussing his case.

"Aah, what a softie." It was a real claim. One thing that the demon didn't particularly appreciate was that you felt him boil in your back. Aziraphale nodded.

"Of course. I've always said that, deep down, he really is a nice guy. He began, but gasped instead.

Well, both of you did.

Crowley had suddenly roared and seized you by your collars. He roughly pulled back, colliding both of your bodies against his. You stumbled back; your head clued his upper chest. You grabbed on to his waist to not fall. Aziraphale had landed a bit higher, at neck level, and was able to meet his gaze. He also stood approximately straight, while you were quite curled up against Crowley.

"Shut it ! I'm a demon; I'm not nice! You felt his voice rumble in his chest. You gulped. You weren't scared by any means, just... mh, troubled? "I'm never 'nice'. Nice is a four-letter word. I will not have

"Excuse me, gentlemen ?"

The pair both turned their heads towards the professional voice. All you could do was try to nuzzle your way up Crowley's arm to peek over the black vest.

"Sorry to break up an intimate moment. Can I help you? She slowed down, and Crowley had time to recognise her. You gazed up at him but couldn't quite make out his expression. Nor his smell.

"You." His grip loosened. You helped yourself back up with the help of your stretched-out arm. You saw Aziraphale analyse Crowley's expression.

"Saints and demons preserve us; it's Master Crowley-" The woman with short hair stepped back. She didn't have time to flee, however, as the demon snapped her in place.

"You didn't have to do that; you could have just asked her. Aziraphale scolded him while fixing his suit. Crowley opened his mouth wide and made an offended sound. Alright, let's not discuss what just happened, then... You felt the angel's hand dust your shoulder swiftly.

"Of course, of course ! No. Yeah. 'Excuse me, ma'am, we're three supernatural entities just looking for the notorious Son of Satan. I wonder if you might help us with our inquiries." He spat and flashed his teeth in a scornful manner.

"Of course, of course ! No. Yeah. 'Excuse me, ma'am, we're three supernatural entities just looking for the notorious Son of Satan. Wonder if you might help us with our inquiries ?'" He spat and flashed his teeth in a scornful manner. You shot him a disapproving look but didn't say anything.

You walked up to her and let Aziraphale do the questioning.

"Mh..." He coughed, unsure. "Look... hello." His smile was always so sweet. You breathed a laugh and shook your head at your proximity. "You weren't, by any chance, a nun here at this convent 11 years ago, were you ?"

"I was." She acquiesced, completely transfixed.

"Mmh, luck of the devil." Eyebrow raised, you looked at Aziraphale, who had quite the cocky little smile on his face. You glanced at Crowley and held yourself back from snorting at the sight of your shared experience.

"What happened to the baby that was given to you ?" You asked.

"I swapped him with the son of the American ambassador. Such a nice man." You caught the smell of sun-soaked sand. You couldn't help but smile when you felt how fond she was of the memory. "He used to be the ambassador of Swindon." She added.

Honestly, you were relieved you found as much confusion on their faces as you felt. Crowley shrugged and shook his head, showing that he had no clue what the fuck she was talking about.

"Then Sister Theresa Garrulous came and took the other baby away."

"This American ambassador—what was his name ? Where did he come from ? And what did he do with the baby ?" The demon snarled, his red hair flying everywhere.

"I don't know."

"Records." Aziraphale insisted. "There must have been records." He gestured for her to continue.

"Yes. There were lots of records. We were very good at keeping records."

"Good; so where can we find them?" You questioned.

"They were unfortunately burned in the fire."

Crowley groaned and threw it back in pure annoyance. "Hastur !"

Aziraphale queried again.

"Is there anything you remember about the baby?"

"He had lovely little toesies-woesies." Her response brought a smile to your face, matching Aziraphale's. Crowley obviously had enough and took off.

"Let's go."

"You will wake, having had a lovely dream about whatever you like best. He miracled. You added a good memory orb discreetly for good measure.

"Oi." Crowley called.

As you approached outside, the sirens overtook all sound, and you saw dozens of policemen evacuating the players and taking their rigged weapons.

"You'd think he'd show up, wouldn't you ? You'd think we could detect him in some way." Aziraphale notified. He waved away a bit of smoke.

"He won't show up. Not to us. Protective camouflage." Crowley reached behind your back and pulled on Aziraphale's arm firmly, dragging you along. A bullet zoomed to your right.

"He won't even know it, but his powers will keep him hidden from prying occult forces."

You were nearing the exit, and the air felt heavy in your lungs. The stress you felt was really increasing as the trail of the investigation plummeted. Plus, the fact that love was slowly disappearing was freaking you out of your mind. You felt a constant pull trying to get you back to heaven, where all the love was stored away. Everything was just too nerve-wrecking for your dysfunctional little heart.

"Occult forces ?" You heard Aziraphale's question.

"Well, you know, us."

You watched the angel's features contort into perplexity.

"We're not occult." Crowley sighed at his objection. "Angels aren't occultists; we're ethereal."

You didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the pressure of it all, or just the fact that Aziraphale still at to make such shallow precision, but you giggled quietly at first. The more it grew, the more it alerted the two entities. It was apparently communicative since they also started laughing softly. You continued to joke on your way to the car. You took you regular seat back, and smiled foundly as the two in the front.

Yeah, Armaggedon was bad. But at least you didn't have to face it on your own.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hard day for Y/N, I hope you won't get any bruises ! ;)

If you have any question about your character (yourself in a sense), I'll do my best to answer without spoilers ^^

Hope you enjoyed it ! Bye !

Parts : First - Previous - Next

Tag list : @legendary-maddie @kpop-athena @drugs-for-memes @emo-queer-boi @cunning-girl @mochikofi @brain-has-left @cup-of-tee007 @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @somekale08 @liyacreate @msyolocat-blog @scoliobean @notahappystan @nebulagoddess @ray-rook @brain-has-left @mxxny-lupin @bluebear19 @yvonneeeee @kniselle @dmitrytherat @lookingforlifeoutthere @neenieweenie @lunalixya

#crowley x reader x aziraphale #good omens #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x reader #crowley x reader #david tennant #micheal sheen #neil gaiman #ineffable husbands #good omens s2 #twoscompanythreesafamily #lgbtq

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nariism · 9 months

Text

chaos makes the muse

pair. hayakawa aki x gn!reader

content: enemies to lovers, fluff, mentions of addiction and smoking cigarettes (negatively, i'm sorry smokers pls look away), reader is a little shit and aki is sick and tired, swearing

synopsis. aki's life is defined by bad decisions and terrible habits. it culminated in you. he's screwed.

wc. 6.2k (oops)

a/n: this is my preemptive apology for all the smokers out there who i just slandered !! i am so sorry i love you. this fic was meant to be experimental with tropes and dynamics i've never tried before, sorry if it's not entirely up to standard :') i really tried my best guys... enjoy!

it started as a challenge.

it always starts as a challenge for aki — from the lit end of his cigarette to the place where it sits dangerously between his teeth. he picked it up as a bad habit from himeno. that was his first challenge; the way he'd adamantly refused to smoke but ultimately caved over a lukewarm bowl of ramen. what a depressing tale.

it wasn't meant to be anything more than a "why the hell not?" sort of defiance against the universe.

he hadn't been broken in by devil hunting yet and didn't need it as something to take the edge off. oh, how he wishes he could go back in time and slap himself silly.

day by day he found his reliance grew. an unpleasant itch in his throat, an insatiable craving that would slam into his chest and leave him breathless at the most inconvenient times. sometimes he would start muttering to himself in irritation when he got that familiar itch right after brushing his teeth.

as he got older and worked a little longer as a devil hunter, he grew less and less sane the longer he went without a smoke.

that was the second challenge; trying to focus on his jobs when his brain was buzzing with need. it was hard to stay sharp when he could feel the box sitting in his front pocket — agonizing, teasing, mocking him.

it's probably the reason he ended up in this mess in the first place, standing across from makima while she lists off all the ways he messed up on his last job. and the list is long. he must have really needed a dart.

so here he is, back turned to the door as he faces makima head-on. his fingers instinctively drum against the pocket of his pants, along the box sitting there, and all he can think is "i can't wait to get out of here for a smoke."

then the door swings open. a chill runs down his spine before he even turns around, because there's a certain air that enters the room unlike any he's felt before.

he's encountered the scariest devils out there. his whole family was taken out by a gargantuan gun-infested lovecraftian monster. but for some reason, aki gets an unfamiliar wave of horror that washes over him when he finally turns around.

"this is your new temporary partner until i'm sure you can be trusted alone on another mission."

and there you are. his third challenge.

you seem too relaxed to have been in this business for long, though it looks like you could only be a year or two younger than him. there's something about you that ticks him off. you're not a fiend — definitely not with how plain you are, but the way you're scowling at him as if he's a disease on this earth makes him second guess it.

aki can't even hear what makima is talking about anymore, too busy melting into a puddle under your heavy, judgemental glare. silence fills the room and aki is acutely aware that he's supposed to introduce himself, but you're too quick to speak and beat him to the punch.

"you smoke," is your deadpan and rather uncalled for observation.

"yes i do. and?"

you scrutinize him with a sneer, clearly disgusted.

"i don't like the smell of smoke. or smokers."

his jaw nearly drops at your bluntness. for the sake of keeping his cool exterior intact, he steels himself and takes a deep breath. it's fine. he knew how to deal with handfuls like you, like denji, like power. trouble kids. this would be easy–

"i promise you, i'll be uncooperative and keep you as a hostage in lower paying jobs until you quit."

"you... can't be serious?"

"dead serious."

"... and who the hell are you again?"

"i don't tell people my name."

"this whole mysterious act sucks. and your attitude sucks, too."

your glare sharpens at his words and you huff like a child throwing a tantrum. he almost wants to laugh at how your expression has changed. instead, he holds out his hand with a resigned sigh. "alright, alright. i'm sorry. my name is hay-"

you slap his hand away; a wordless warning accompanied by another look that makes him shrink back.

"don't care. didn't ask."

makima smiles, cruel and knowing. "i'm glad to see the two of you getting along. you're dismissed."

aki knows he shouldn't be mad at makima. it was his fault in the first place that the devil got away, and only because he was so distracted. this was a fair punishment for such a severe mess up. if this was her way of teaching him a lesson, he would just have to grit his teeth and bear through it.

he stares you down with disdain sitting under his tongue, bitter and unforgiving like the aftertaste of his black coffee in the morning; like having a mouthful of power and denji's burnt breakfast; like the tar that coats his lungs.

"fine then, be that way. nice to meet you, partner."

aki's mornings start slow.

they always have, for as long as he can remember. he wakes up just after the crack of dawn, to which denji has called him sick in the head multiple times for, and spends his time unwinding before he inevitably has to go into work and be on high alert for ten hours straight.

it's a peaceful morning like any other. he's on his balcony overlooking the quiet streets of tokyo. denji and power haven't woken up yet, so he has at least a few moments of solitude (which he so desperately needs, by the way).

he cracks open a new box of cigarettes and shakes one into his hand. he's two seconds away from flicking open his lighter to start his morning smoke when–

"i told you i don't like smokers."

aki nearly falls off the balcony in surprise, whipping around to see the intruder. you're standing there with another frown on your face. he has to wonder if you can smile at all.

"how did you get into my apartment?!"

"huh? the front door. are you stupid?"

"but–" aki's head tilts so that he can peer over your shoulder. there's no sign of anyone else being awake to let you in, which means you must have just taken the liberty of waltzing on in here unannounced. "don't sneak up on me like that. i could have hurt you."

"why would you do that?"

"excuse me? because you just broke into my apartment, for fuck's sake."

"i didn't!" you argue back defensively, fumbling in your pocket to pull out a key. and in that moment, aki realizes something deeply, deeply terrible. just as makima had sprung the role of babysitter onto him with denji and power, she has now bestowed upon him possibly the most irritating human being ever born.

this can’t be happening. he couldn’t possibly get stuck with a third unbearable roommate. what kind of shitty karma does he have?

"i... i need a minute."

your tongue clicks in annoyance. "hurry up. i want to leave for work asap."

"just go in yourself. i can meet you there later."

"i don't have a car."

it's as if thunder claps in his ears. "you... don't... have a car..." he repeats back to you slowly, utterly defeated. "at least let me finish getting ready."

you eye the cigarette still held between his fingers with nothing but contempt. "i don't like–"

"yes, yes, i get it! you don't like the smell of smoke. you don't like me."

your face scrunches slightly as you fall silent. if he didn't think you were being such a pest right now, he might have thought you looked a little cute.

"it hurts my nose."

"you have a sensitive nose or something?"

"or something."

his eye twitches.

aki very quicky learns that when you don't like how things are done, you're very vocal about it. and not only are you vocal, if he ever decided to be stubborn you would take actions into your own hands.

he can't count how many times you've stomped up to him in the middle of a job just to slap the cigarette straight out of his mouth and snuff it out with your heel. he's starting to get antsy because of it.

you're a menace. sometimes he even finds that a box of cigarettes he had purchased the night before has mysteriously ended up drenched at the bottom of the bath. it's infuriating.

he doesn't understand how someone could be so intolerant to a scent. he knew it was unpleasant, but he would like to think that he has impeccable enough hygiene to at least be passable. hell, even denji and power don't seem to notice or care.

(not that it's a very high bar to clear when it comes to them. denji once ate a kid's half-chewed leftovers off the table at mcdonalds and said it was a waste of food. aki was not pleased.)

it's not until he's known you for exactly sixty-two days that he learns the truth. two agonizing months of taking a single drag before you come over to him and snatch the cancer stick right out from under his nose.

aki isn't sure how he never noticed — the minute twitch of your nose when you were drawing closer to a devil. the way your shoulders stilled as you held your breath around denji and power.

he thought you were just a regular human being. he should have known makima wouldn't have paired him with someone normal. you were makima's personal devil tracker.

"it's this way," you tell him as you lead him further into the tunnel. it's almost pitch black. aki can't get a read on anything around him.

"how do you know?"

you look at him with an brow raised, like he just asked a really dumb question. "i can smell it."

"you can smell it?"

"i can smell it,” you repeat in confirmation.

"you're insane. there's nothing down here. let's just go back and regroup with–"

you suddenly swivel around, the flashlight in your hand beaming into his face. he has to cover them with a hand as he scowls at you for temporarily blinding him.

"no! it's here! it would just be easier to find if someone wasn't masking up its scent!"

aki's eyes roll into the back of his head at your little jab. "don't waste my time. i have better things to be doing than babysitting you down here."

he gestures dramatically for you to continue walking, shuffling around in his pocket before pulling out a dart. you glower at him distastefully.

"are you for real right now? you can't go 5 minutes without a smoke?"

he just shrugs, lighting it as he trails behind you. "if i need one then i need one."

"i can't believe you. you're seriously so childish," you sputter out, turning around to glare at him.

aki just sighs tiredly, blowing smoke into your face.

he can't wrap his head around why denji and power have taken such a liking to you.

you're rude and blunt and shameless with your remarks. if he was irrational he might have knocked you out by now for constantly swiping darts out of his mouth.

your relationship is purely obligatory. there's a level of mutual trust between you and him; there has to be for the two of you to be a partially functioning team of hunters — but even then, you bicker. and as soon as you're home, you rush into your room in a flurry of curse words and bites that leave aki grumbling to himself.

he doesn't get it. there's not an ounce of appeal.

you have a plain style and an even less exciting personality. he also thinks you have an ugly attitude problem and act like a brat when you want something from him. he always caves, too, which is the worst part — it's some unawakened big brother instinct that he never got to feel as a kid.

he spoils you too much for your own good.

don't want carrots in your curry tonight? fine. he doesn't want to hear you complaining about it, or worse, flinging them around the room with power. again.

saw something at the hundred yen store on the way home? whatever. it's just a hundred yen. if you want it then he'll buy it even if it's something as stupid as a charm for your keychain.

and he hates that you find it all so sentimental, the cheap little trinkets he gets for you. he absolutely loathes the fact that you lug them all around with you. they clink and jingle as you walk around, a clear dead giveaway when you're trying to be stealthy during a job.

(the kicker? it's so endearing that he can't even find it in himself to scold you for it. he despises you for making him even consider calling you cute.)

he should have grown a stronger resolve about this sort of thing. otherwise, he would have been coming home unscathed tonight.

he exhales in exhaustion as he watches you retreat into your room again for the night before he shuffles over into the bathroom and sits at the edge of the tub. he had just bought you a little bracelet with a bell charm on it, jingling with every step you took. it was a grave mistake to bring it into enemy territory.

as much as he would love to place the blame on you, he can't. not when you're so much less experienced out in the field than he is, and not when you were so reserved the entire ride home.

it was his fault. he should have known better.

you were eerily silent as you drove (he was in no condition to drive, so despite his reluctance handing you his car keys, he really had no choice). there was a look on you that was unrecognizable — something morphed between guilt and worry.

he usually doesn't smoke in the confines of his apartment, taking his cigarettes outside where it'll smell less. but he needs one badly right now, and who are you to stop him in his own home?

he catches his reflection in the mirror above the sink. it hits him then how much of a mess he is right now; hair disheveled and masking his vision, blood staining his white button-up, sweat sticking to his forehead and smoke rising to veil half of his face.

aki doesn't get paid enough for this.

"you look like shit."

his eyes flutter closed at the sound of your voice from the door. you invite yourself in, standing a few feet away from him with a hand covering your nose.

"smell like it, too."

"yeah, i bet," he mumbles, pulling the dart from between his teeth to blow smoke in your direction like he always does when you’re pissing him off. you wave it away with a scowl.

"that was rude."

"speak for yourself."

"you suck."

"did you come in here just to be a bother?"

your face twists and he almost bursts out laughing at the constipated expression you give him. you fumble a little with your sleeves, gaze falling to the floor as you stand there like a kid who just threw up and needs their mom to come clean it up.

"do you need help?" you ask him, voice nearly inaudible.

he considers it for a second before his eyes drift to the cigarette still lit between his fingers. "no. it's fine. it's probably better if you're not in here with me right now."

"but you're hurt."

"i've been through worse. i'm fine, really," aki raises a brow at you and your strange behaviour, "don't worry about it."

you're silent again for a moment as his words sink in. "i feel bad. i feel like it's my fault." you sound earnest about it, chewing on your bottom lip guiltily.

he exhales loudly in response, shifting his weight a little on the tub so he can unbutton his shirt. "okay, okay. quit making that face. it's creeping me out."

you huff at his words but surprisingly offer no rebuttal. you waddle over to him slowly, brows furrowing further with each drag of your feet against the tile floor. he watches you curiously as you rummage through the sink cabinet and kneel in front of him, body resting between his thighs.

if you can feel how warm he gets from the action, you don't bother teasing him about it.

your nose is entirely scrunched up now, though you do your best to hide your clear disdain for the scent of smoke filling your nose.

"you really don't have to do this. i promise i'm okay."

you leer at him stubbornly and he immediately relents, not in the mood for a petty argument. you work quickly and delicately, wrapping his wound in gauze. it's then that he realizes there's no tiny jingle of a bell filling the air as you move, and he looks down to see your empty wrist.

"for the record, it wasn't your fault," he says quietly, hand stopping yours. you don't try and slap it away this time, but falter a bit.

"... you don't have to try to be nice to me."

"i'm not trying to be nice. i'm just telling you how it is."

"but–"

"no buts."

your eyes meet his as you peer up at him. you stay still for just a beat before you're wrapping him again, careful not to nick his wound.

are you... crying?

it's subtle, the little tears gathering on your lashes. he might not have realized if it wasn't accompanied by the tiniest of sniffles (which makes you recoil back slightly with the intrusion of smoke filling your lungs).

oh no. he's growing a soft spot for you because of this. the most irritating human on the planet, and he wants to give you a hug so you'll stop crying. what the hell is wrong with him.

aki's hand plops onto the top of your head before either of you realize it's happening. he awkwardly averts his stare.

"don't cry. it's ugly on you."

and it really is, because why else would his heart be having such a violent reaction to it?

for a second he anticipates the sharp sting of your hand smacking his away again, or maybe you'll even be so angry that you'll tilt your head up and sink your teeth into him like a rabid animal.

but you don't. you laugh — a real genuine laugh that makes him dizzy.

he's never been able to picture you with a smile on your face before. you always look feral, like you're about to launch at him and tear his skin off, or so tired that you can't even keep your eyes open anymore.

he sucks in a deep breath as he watches you laugh, blinking the tears out and wiping them up with your sleeve.

you don't say anything to him in response, instead giggling to yourself as you bandage him up the rest of the way. and he doesn't say anything either, not wanting to ruin something so special.

aki realizes that there's still a cigarette he's unconsciously rolling between his fingers. he hasn't taken a drag in so long that it's starting to extinguish itself. and despite the smell of smoke filling the room, you haven't stopped cleaning his wound and wrapping him.

he crushes it up in his hand and drops the ashes into the tub behind him.

he really should quit.

there's a shift in aki in the following weeks.

it's almost palpable — the way he speaks a little softer. a little more tender. kinder. and you can smell it, too; the scent of smoke slowly disappearing over time (not entirely, mind you, but it's the thought that counts).

you first noticed it when you came home from mcdonalds with denji, fries stuffed into your cheeks as you blinked down at aki who was on his hands and knees wiping down every square inch of the apartment.

"come on man, we're not that messy for you to be doing all that..." denji complained while scratching his balls. but aki didn't dignify him with a response, dutifully using a sponge and warm soapy water to scrub at the walls.

you observed him in secrecy later that night, peering into the bathroom as he dumped out the bucket of brown water. he was scrubbing the apartment clean of two years worth of smoke.

it didn't end there. as the months passed, you started smelling it on aki less, too.

once he smoked he would shower right away, even going so far as to pull over on the way home one night and use a public bathhouse. when he could he would change his clothes, too. his sudden change in lifestyle made it significantly more tolerable to linger around him. no longer were you holding your breath until your lungs ached in your ribcage.

aki also took notice of your change in behaviour in response. it was easier to be around you when you weren't constantly whining about his smell.

he didn't think he was being so obvious in the way he was starting to enjoy your company day by day. you still gave him migraines like no other, and he couldn't stand your attitude. but he couldn't help but find your quirks a little charming, at least a bit funny if nothing else.

he wasn't aware that a very watchful (and perverted) pair of eyes was picking up on his signs.

it's a quiet morning with the fan blowing. you and power are still dead to the world and aki has just settled down to have his breakfast.

"so like, what's the deal with you two anyways?"

he glances up from his food with a tilt of the head.

"what are you talking–"

"cause i mean, i totally saw you checking out their ass yesterday." at denji's remark, aki almost chokes on his rice.

"what? i absolutely was not." he guffaws at the blond as if he's ludicrous.

"riiiight... so, you're not into each other then? what's with the looks?"

"what looks?"

denji makes it a point to be theatrical in his renditions of the previous night, sighing dreamily and fluttering his lashes.

"like that."

"... just eat your breakfast, man. you're imagining things."

"nah, but i'm not. c'mon, you don't like them even a little?"

"no."

"liar."

"denji..." aki strains the name out through grit teeth — a warning.

"what'cha guys talkin' about?"

god no. aki can't do this today. not right now. it's too early in the morning.

"we were just talking about how lovey-dovey aki's been lately."

"ohoho, so he finally admits it?" power sits across the table, suddenly interested in conversation.

"i didn't admit anything..." aki puts his chopsticks down with a frustrated sigh, "and what the hell do you mean finally?"

"he totally did admit it. and you should have seen the two of them yesterday—"

"dude, i'm going to kick you in the balls."

"let me have a turn!"

"will you two stop already? i'm getting a headache."

it's a horrible conversation, honestly. a terrible, horrific, unforgiving realization that they might be even a small fraction correct.

this whole household is the bane of his existence.

this thought sticks with him all day; they're going to be the death of me. why me, universe? why me? it doesn't stop until he finally settles into bed at the end of his long day and lets his eyes slide shut for some well-deserved sleep.

there's laughter echoing in his ears, nothing more than a dreamy hallucination as he drifts in and out of sleep. it's sweet and rare and beautiful — he wants to capture it in a bottle and get drunk off of it.

just as aki is about to fall asleep, there's a gentle knock at the door. he stirs awake again with a soft groan, sitting up in bed.

"come in."

in you walk, hands clasped in front of you as you stare at your feet. "i had a nightmare."

he scoffs, but he's climbing out of bed and trodding over to you anyways. "what are you, a child? what'd you come to me about that for?"

"jerk."

he considers you quietly, focusing on the bags under your eyes and the way you shift uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze.

"well what do you want me to do?"

you chew on your lip for a moment. "can i sleep in here?"

"with me?"

"with you."

aki looks at you like you've lost your mind. "no," he says immediately. you wouldn't get a very restful sleep if you were suffocating in the lingering smell of smoke.

he expects you to put up a fight like you always do when things don't go your way. he even braces himself for the onslaught of names you'll call him.

it never comes. instead:

"okay."

quiet and resigned and tired. and he hates that it makes his stomach drop, because next thing he knows his hand is shooting forward to capture your wrist as you retreat.

"god, quit looking so sad. you're the worst," he tells you as he drags you back into the room and unceremoniously tosses you onto his bed.

"dickwad," you bite back weakly. aki can only roll his eyes in response as he takes half his pillows and blankets to make a temporary bed on the floor for himself. you watch him curiously.

"you're not sleeping in the bed?"

"you wouldn't be able to sleep if you were that close to me."

"... right."

"goodnight," he huffs, settling onto the uncomfortably hard wooden floor. a hush settles over the room and he assumes you've either fallen asleep or are trying to, until you start shuffling around for a couple seconds. he can hear your mouth opening and closing, as if you’re deciding whether or not to say something.

"what is it now?" aki sighs, rolling onto his side to peek at you. you're already facing him, balled up into the blanket.

"can i hold your hand at least?"

he gawks at you for a second before recomposing himself. it's just hand holding, who cares? not him. not even a bit.

(liar.)

"fine," he mumbles, slowly reaching up to offer his hand. you take it tentatively, fingers gently curling around his. his brain almost explodes into malfunctioning, heart stopping in his chest.

you blink at each other, gazes steady and unwavering. then your eyes flutter closed as you pull the blanket up and over the bottom half of your face.

"hayakawa?"

"what?" he studies you, watching the way your expression changes ever so slightly.

soft, relaxed.

"thank you."

some part of aki knows he shouldn't be trying to memorize every part of you like this, but he does it anyways.

devil hunters don't get attached to others. they don't, and they can't. but aki can't help it. it was his worst habit — worse than smoking, actually.

he was always getting emotionally involved when it came to his partners. he couldn't go to sleep anymore thinking about the fact that you would have to go in the next day and face whatever horrible devil got assigned to you. there was a sickness that gurgled in his stomach when he pictured your ragged corpse, unmoving and lifeless at his feet.

it stresses him out beyond reason, even though you're in the next room over perfectly alive and breathing. and when aki is stressed, he reaches for a cigarette.

he thinks he's being quiet, and since you should be asleep he figures just one wouldn't hurt. so he sneaks out onto his balcony for a smoke, leaning over the edge of the railing so that he can observe the empty streets below.

for some reason, he hesitates for a moment as he brings it to his lips. he doesn't even get to light it before he's once again rudely interrupted.

"you're smoking."

it's as if you have a secret sense for when he's about to smoke. or maybe you can just smell them when he taps them out of the box. either way, it irks him.

aki sighs, hand slowly lowering and dangling over the railing. he doesn't even try to deny it as he glances over his shoulder at you. you're leaning against the door frame with your arms crossed. you don't seem as irritated as you usually do, instead regarding him steadily in slight defeat.

it makes his heart ache, so he flicks the unlit dart off the balcony and watches it disappear into the darkness of the street below.

"it's unhealthy, you know."

"i know."

"so why?"

"you think i chose to be this way?" in some ways he did, but he'd never tell you that.

silence befalls you as you join his side, resting your elbows on the railing. it's a calm night; a gentle breeze blows the hair from your face when you turn to look at him.

you wordlessly examine him, and he does the same. you’re more exhausted than usual, wilted like a flower starved for water. he knows it must be draining trying to keep up with someone in a special division — especially since you don't seem to be anything more than a bomb dog for makima, sniffing out where devils are hiding. he doesn't blame you for being so tired.

"hey," he frowns at you.

"what?"

"are you ever going to tell me your name?"

"no."

"seriously?"

"seriously."

he lets out a tiny groan of annoyance before he gets an idea. "if i quit smoking, would you tell me?"

you survey him cautiously. "i'd consider it."

aki runs a hand through his long hair in contemplation, looking out toward the complex across from his. "i don't get how people just quit on a whim. doesn't seem possible."

"they have stuff for that. like, chewing gum or nicotine patches or whatever." he huffs as you continue, "you just need to find something to take your mind off of it. something that satisfies your craving."

"yeah? way easier said than done. also, i don't know if i like being lectured by the likes of–"

"you'd be too irritating if you were addicted to anything else, anyways," you dismiss your own idea, completely ignoring the glare you're receiving from aki.

"you're annoying, you know that? worse than denji. worse than power, somehow." but he wants to take care of you anyways.

"am i?" you challenge defiantly, turning to face him completely.

"the worst. honest to god, i've considered quitting my job because of you." but he hasn't, has he?

"have you now?"

"what the hell was makima thinking, trying to get me to quit smoking by sending her tracker after me?" he should be thanking her, really.

you answer him honestly, voice quiet as you allow him to unconsciously enter your personal space in his rant of frustration. "i don't know."

he only realizes he's standing too close to you when your nose twitches slightly and your brows furrow — indicators that the faint but lingering smell of smoke on him is giving you a headache.

"sorry."

he starts to pull back with a defeated noise, but then your hands shoot forward and gently cling to his sweater. he looks at you inquisitively. you seem surprised by your own actions, too.

aki is forced to reconcile with the fact that he doesn’t want to take his eyes off of you. in his almost twenty-one years alive, he's never stood so close to someone before. it's taking a real toll on him.

a heavy fog of tension settles between you as you stand there, having a stare down both out of stubbornness and curiosity as to why the other hasn't pulled away yet.

"i don't know what's wrong with me... i don't think i want you to go inside yet. stop making me feel stupid," you complain, admitting your words shamelessly.

you watch as aki blinks at you before he shakes his head in exasperation.

"what am i going to do with you?"

there's a smile on his face as he says it, tiny and subtle. you would have missed it if he wasn't slowly inching closer and closer to you. and you let him despite the suffocating smell of smoke invading your senses again.

it occurs to him that the only things he has ever kissed are his wounds as he dresses them in bandages, himeno when she was wasted once, and the papery end of a cigarette.

you taste much sweeter than any of them.

maybe it was just easy for aki to fall into addictions. he was weak-willed in that sense. always has been.

and he always chose the absolute worst things in the world to get addicted to; revenge, smoking, and now you. he couldn't stand being in the same room as you anymore. not when he so desperately craved your lips on his.

it started as a casual thing; a small peck here, a sneaky kiss there, nothing jaw dropping. and you didn't seem to mind it all too much, allowing him to linger a little longer every time he leaned back in.

it was becoming a problem. a very serious one. he couldn't focus anymore. it was worse than smoking, so much so that everytime he wanted to reach for a box of cigarettes, he would end up coming to you instead.

there was something about you he wanted to preserve. a fondness grew in his heart, replacing the scream of annoyance that would fill his lungs and threaten to spill out every time he laid eyes on you.

you were something he wanted to keep. something to protect. someone to fill the silence when no one else would.

aki liked bickering with you. he found normalcy in it, as if he'd spent his whole life doing it. and sometimes it really did feel that way — as if he'd spent lifetimes before this one by your side.

it's why he clings to you so tightly when he almost loses you.

you're perched in his lap as he holds you, slowly running your fingers through his untied hair. the driver's seat of the car wasn't built for two people to sit; his legs are far too cramped to be comfortable and your knees are pressed harshly into his thighs.

he doesn't care. aki has never cared so much until he met you.

he's robbing you of air, clinging to you so tightly that you can barely move. he can hear you complaining against his lips, but he can't bring himself to stop.

"stop doing this to me," he hisses, knocking his forehead into yours so that he can stare into your soul. "it's ridiculous. i hate you. i hate you."

he kisses you again to bury the familiar lump growing in his throat.

"i told you to fucking stay put. why can't you just listen to me? you could have died. what would i have done then, huh?" you don't answer him, instead cupping his cheeks to try and calm him down.

"you're stupid and reckless and fuck — what would i do without you?" he closes his eyes when your nose brushes against his; a silent apology.

"i hate how much you mean to me, i hate your stupid laugh and your voice and how awful it makes me feel when you look sad. i hate that you keep all the worthless shit i buy you on the way home from work and i hate that you stand so close even after a smoke–" aki's jaw tenses to try and dam the outburst spilling out of him, but he can’t.

"–i hate that i love you. i hate it. i hate you. fuck! i love you–"

he's out of breath by the time he finishes getting his words out, his fingers digging into your hips almost painfully. you blink down at him as you brush the hair from his face.

he’s always so composed, even when he's being mean to you. it's rare to see him worked up like this. you can't help but smile.

"... don't just smile at me, idiot. say something," he pleads quietly, head falling against your shoulder as he keeps you in place.

he squeezes his eyes shut when your fingers thread carefully through his undone hair once again, raking the knots out smoothly. he melts in your touch until your hands leave his scalp and gather up his face again so you can look at him.

there's no tiny twitch of your nose. no furrowing of your brows. no stilling of your chest as you hold your breath. actually, he's never seen you so openly inviting.

"can i kiss you?" aki asks this time, voice hoarse.

you nod, and his whole world comes apart. he takes his time memorizing every curve of your lips against his, the taste of you, the little gasps of air you suck in as he seals his claim on you with his mouth.

"aki..." you murmur his given name against his lips, over and over and over. you whisper it between kisses that leave you breathless. and he swallows your voice, allowing himself to revel in the way his name sounds on your tongue.

he didn't smell of smoke anymore. he didn't taste like death and ash, either — he was just aki.

hayakawa aki, 20, professional devil hunter and resident cynic, who you're hopelessly in love with.

“aki?”

“yeah?”

"do you still want to learn my name?"

🏷️ @k0z3me @aanobrain (bye ily hope you enjoy this one art)

crossposted to ao3!

#— whispers in the wind ✧#im going into hibernation after this fic #goodnight world #i cant believe i actually finished it #chainsaw man #csm #chainsaw man fic #csm fic #hayakawa aki #aki hayakawa #aki hayakawa x you #aki hayakawa x y/n #aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x you #hayakawa aki x y/n #hayakawa aki x reader #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader

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darling--angst-archived · 11 months

Text

The 'God', The Masochist, and the Crazy Scientist

I just found out that I'm anemic that's why I'm so frail and pale :'(

I twisted the plot a little

I actually don't know if Bram is made from human experimentation but I did it anyways.

TW! Explicit Language, Death, Human experimentation, Murder, Slight Yandere, Gore(?), Straight up crazy scientist, Slight suggestive content.

Pairing: Nikolai Gogol x Reader(you) x Fyodor Dostoevsky

Synopsis: F!Reader joins the DOA as their doctor because of her ability and piqued the interest of a certain clown and a person with God complex.

F!Reader has a personality like Mobius (Honkai) and Reader is a little unhinged

You were a normal doctor in Yokohama, working overtime. Now you were sitting across a wanted terrorist, offering you a job in their notorious group.

A few months back then the Port Mafia's boss, Mori Ogai came to your office to make you an offer to join them. You had great intelligence, but mediocre at combat, though you worked as a normal doctor, you had an ability: "The Souls of the Damned". Your ability allows you to bring the dead back to life through souls, but as the saying goes: an eye for an eye, it was the same for your ability, a soul for a soul. You must sacrifice an alive soul to bring back the dead. Soul Manipulation, is a better description of your ability; you can manipulate souls per will, to identify an ability user's soul they have a certain color in their soul's core. If you will bring back a dead ability user, you must exchange another ability user's soul. You owed favors from Mori Ogai, so you brought back dead people for him, he of course gave you the live souls. Yet, you didn't accept his offers. Which leads you back to now:

"Hello, miss Y/n" the Russian says from across the table.

"Well.. May I ask why you are here sir Fyodor?" you asked, offering him tea.

"Hm? Hibiscus?.. Though it seems you have already known my name." He said drinking the tea quite impressed.

"Of course.. Fyodor Dostoevsky, known as the face of The Decay of Angels." You said

"I have an offer to make for such an intelligent individual such you." He chuckled amused by you.

"..What is it?" You asked sipping your tea.

"Work as the DOA's doctor" he explained which piqued your interest.

"Hmm.? Why would a terrorist group full of powerful and dangerous ability users need a normal doctor like me? You sarcastically said raising a brow.

"Well.. To be precise we need your ability.. "Souls of the Damned" he smirked sinisterly sending shivers down your spine.

"Oh? What would I get in return?" You asked. There was no need to feign ignorance, he already knew it all.

"Advantages, and equipments for your experiments" he explained.

"Haii.. Same offers with the Port Mafia.. I must say it was quite a let down" you sighed dissatisfied. His eyebrow twitches from annoyance, yet still kept his facade.

"Then.. What do you want in return.?" He asked

"Guess it. After all, you DO believe you are smarter than me, don't you sir Dostoevsky?" You sarcastically said.

"Information."

"What.?" You said, eyes widened.

"You want information about THAT book" he said.

"Huh."

"Well I look forward to working with you Dostoevsky-kun" You said sitting up with him smirking.

He sat up and offered you a handshake, a very suspicious one. In every human body you can see their soul's color; normally a soul would be gray or slightly darker but his... It was pitch black. His soul's core was bloody red, the core is supposed to represent the ability; red, it means death. For him to offer you a handshake means he may kill you, yet it only excited you even more. You smirked accepting his handshake. When your hands met, his eyes could only widen, you were still there in one piece, alive and breathing.

"Your ability is as interesting and powerful as they say." He said pulling away. You could only chuckle in response.

"How rude of you Dostoevsky-kun.. already trying to kill me" you pouted sarcastically. He smiled in return, not a friendly one, the one that says "your correct" yet a little sinister.

"Well I must go.. Come here tomorrow" he said giving a piece of paper. As you opened the note, he closed the door. You could only clench your fist on what was written there.

"Сволочь..." You muttered. The note was quite unique, it's one that you have to decipher until tomorrow afternoon.

You spent the entire night, deciphering the note.. Actually you didn't, you put a tracking device on him earlier. As you looked at your computer for his location, it looks like he stopped at a certain building until he probably saw the tracking device and tossed it away.

The next day passed and you had no intention of actually coming to the building, because Fyodor found the tracking device it was most likely that you came but being the little bitch you are, you didn't. The afternoon passed and it turned into evening, the evening passed and midnight hit. You were taking a warm bath after you came home from your shift. As you finished bathing you noticed someone's presence in your home. You dressed and opened your laptop, water was dripping from your washed hair. As you typed, you got sick of the presence chuckling in the shadows so you decided to close your laptop and speak.

"Why do I owe the pleasure of you being here?"

Creeping up from the shadows, he finally decided to show himself, Nikolai Gogol.

"You're just as perceptive as Dos-kun said!" He excitedly said suddenly appearing beside you. As you took in his form, he was very tall. When your eyes met his, it was quite unique.

"As I said earlier, may I ask why you are in my home?" You raised a brow.

"Ah! right! I forgot about that part! Keke!" He chuckled.

"Dos-kun is annoyed because you didn't show up earlier!" He shrugged sitting on the table beside you.

"Oh.? He would actually be there?" You asked intrigued.

"Hueh?" He blinked twice not expecting that to be your answer.

"Since you already know the location by tracking him.. Let's go!" He said pulling your wrist to him as he put a cloth to your nose and mouth, drugging you. You passed out and fell on him as he chuckled.

"kekeke, works every time"

You woke up in an unfamiliar room, sitting up, dizziness caught up to you, your vision was very blurry, you looked around and there was Nikolai Gogol sitting beside you with an unfamiliar man.

"Maybe you added too much drugs onto the cloth.." A man with white and lilac hair could be seen uncomfortable and concerned.

"nah! I'm perfect at estimating! Keke" he replied. As you groaned in response, your vision finally became clear.

"See! She's awake already!"He exclaimed feeling proud.

"Are.. you okay.?" The other man asked feeling bad about your condition.

"Ugh.. Yeah.. I mean he could've used cholorform instead of Fluothane! tch!" You glared at Nikolai still feeling dizzy. He could only blink in response and chuckle while the other stood still.

"Let's start with introductions first shall we?!" He excitedly said.

"I'm Nikolai Gogol! My ability is Overcoat!" He exclaimed.

"I'm Sigma.. My ability is 'information exchange ability'.." help I don't know the exact name of his ability Sigma said looking away; as you observed him, he looked uncomfortable with Nikolai.

"I'm Dr. Y/n L/n, My ability is "Souls of the Damned". You said.

"I look forward to working with you Y/n-san!" Nikolai exclaims. Sigma could only nod at best.

Eventually, you met everyone of the Decay of Angels; including their leader, Kamui. Though you always tried to read everyone you met, you didn't try to read Nikolai; you didn't know why yourself but suddenly you felt reassured with him, Nikolai took noticed of that too.

You did experiments at your will and it all involved your ability so they gave you 'souls' or to be exact alive humans per your request. During your experiments Nikolai came for some unknown reason, during this time too..

"Hey~~ Dove~" He teased going down your lab stairs.

"Nikolai.? What are you doing here?" You were puzzled.

"I told you to call me Kolya! Hmph!" He pouted.

"...Fine.. Kolya" You murmured

"Finally!" He said jumping to you.

"Now what are you doing here?" You asked turning your head back to your experiments

"Well.. I was bored!" He exclaimed.

He took notice of the three bodies on the experiment table and asked:

"Hmm.? Why do you have three bodies here? Don't you usually do two?" He asked.

"I'm currently trying to bind their souls together then use the third body as a host" you explained putting your hands on the pockets of your blood stained lab coat.

"Well it's certainly bloody here!" He said looking around.

"May I watch?" He asked

"..." You still kept your cold poker face, you sighed and muttered a small "yes"

"Yay!" He celebrated and turned back to the side.

As the man strapped to the table awakens, he started struggling against his restraints and muffled screeches are heard from the other. This man was certainly interesting, his ability allows him to turn anyone to a 'vampire' immediately, that's why he has cloth on his mouth. The other 'patients' woke up and screams could be heard. You took the soul of the man on the side, it was an inhumane ability; one that grants immortality, he can't die. As you took his soul, his body slowly fades away turning into cold flesh. The man on the middle was a little calmer than the others, after all he did make a deal with Kamui. As you grabbed your knife you slowly made incisions as he groaned through the cloth. You took his soul as the man slowly became unconscious, your eyes widen at how pure his soul is. Taking both souls you binded them with the movement of your fingers. Crimson light covered the room as you laughed maniacally. In your hand was a soul, two pure and impure souls mixed together. The soul still has a core, it was crimson and in the middle was yellow; immortality and power. You succeeded, glancing at the body of the man, you caressed the soul, a sinister smile appearing on your lips. You controlled the soul at your will, as you slowly inserted it to the body of Bram Stroker.

With the insert of a soul to the unconscious body, he quickly awakens sitting up and groaned

"Hah! Finally!" You laughed forgetting the presence of Kolya.

The scene was watched by Nikolai until the very end. He was mesmerized by your beauty and craziness. Every flick of your finger, he felt his heart beating. Everytime you gave him attention and patience, you interest him. Every chuckle of yours, he wanted the be the reason of your chuckles and laugh. Everytime you smiled, he wanted that smile to be his and his only. He wanted you.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard your laugh. He smiled at the sight of you, bloody, messy hair and laughing maniacally. Now he noticed where you were looking, a man with pointy ears and crimson red eyes. For some reason Nikolai craved you your attention.

He walked closer to you, without you noticing. He applauded at you catching your attention. When you turned at him he was so close to you, your head facing his chest at how close he was. You turned your head up to make eye contact with him.

"Ah.. Kolya..." You murmured.

"Why hello Dove! I'm certain you forgot my presence since earlier!" He said with a playful facade.

"..." You looked away to the side. Without you noticing Nikolai shot Bram a cold glare in which he didn't notice.

"Anyways let's go! I have to make the experimentation records!" You said grabbing him by the hand, oh how excited you are. Your usual demeanor was replaced with happiness and excitement. His eyes widened at you holding his hand, you weren't looking at him so you couldn't see his blush. His attitude completely changed and kept his facade on.

"Then let's go to Kamui first! Keke!" He laughed and held your hand leading you to Kamui's office.

In reality, Nikolai didn't do that to see Kamui; he did that so he can hold your hand longer. After all, Kamui's office is very far from your lab. Minutes passed as you two walked together, hands intertwined, now you were Infront of Kamui's office, only when you were supposed so knock at the door did you notice you holding hands with Kolya. You took your hand away from his and cleared your throat to try and keep composure. You knocked on the door and entered not even looking at Kolya, you were too much of a blushing mess to look at him. You had a friendly conversation with Kamui, then as you told him about the experiment being a success, he's expression was full of sinister, not that you did mind.. As you lead him to the lab, you didn't see Nikolai perhaps he decided to annoy Sigma at the Sky Casino. The experimentation was a success, Kamui took in charge of Bram so luckily you didn't have to take care of a vampire. You did the records and most was fine. You had quite fun with Fyodor by playing chess and cards with him, he of course wins by a point or two much to his delight. He didn't find you as bothersome as back then in your first meeting. Sigma... was quite scared of your antics and you being a mad doctor but most of the time he finds you quite comfortable with.. in his eyes you are better than Nikolai, because you aren't THAT crazy like him; For Sigma you are the better choice than a masochist with God complex who calculates his every move. The DOA got used to you being company to them, and you got used to how weird each member is.

A few months passed since you joined the DOA and Nikolai became more flirtatious and he initiated physical contact a lot. You and him kept on friendly terms as he refused to accept the lingering feeling he has for you. Eventually you learned more about The Book. You didn't plan on using it or anything, you just planned on studying it and maybe making a few writings on the book if you can, it depends on the possibility of getting the Book. After learning that Sigma was from the book, you were absolutely... pissed.

"Fyodor.." You barged into his room with a glare.

"Y/n.. What brings you here without even knocking.?" He raised a brow shifting his attention from Nikolai to you.

"I need to talk to you. Privately. Five minutes at minimum" You looked at Nikolai as he pouted. Fyodor nodded at Nikolai and he sighed, standing up from the table, he left closing the door.

When he left Fyodor stood up and walked over to you. You clenched your hand and grinded your teeth. He stopped Infront of you and lifted your chin up with his hand. As he took the sight of you his was a little shocked. You always tried to keep composure, you never really shared when you're angry, you just had a cold face, yet now you were certainly angry trying to calm down.

"Now. tell me what's wrong милый?" He asked you coldly.

"Why didn't you tell me..?" You muttered.

"Hmm.?" He asked raising a brow.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me about Sigma being from the book?!" You snapped clearly angry at him. After snapping at him Fyodor was certainly pissed yet kept quiet.

"Huh. You knew from the fucking start since you made me that offer a few months a ago.. Сволочь." You hissed. He suddenly grabbed you and pushes you to his desk.

"Ah! Fyodor?!" You exclaimed. Now your back was on his desk, he was on top of you holding your arms above your head. He placed his leg in between yours as his face started getting closer to yours.

"I really don't appreciate you screaming at me like that, Дорогой.." He said with a low tone.

"Besides.. You never asked did you.?" He whispered in your ear. You chuckled before swiftly switching positions with you now on top.

"Fyodor... How could I know.? After all you did not fullfil the terms of the contract did you?" You said to him leaning on his face.

"Or perhaps.. You're not a man of your word?" You seductively whispered leaning on his ear as he snapped. He pushed you away and pinned you to the wall.

"You really do know how to piss me off, don't you Милый?

"Ugh.!" You groaned as he tightened his grip on your wrists.

"Stop with the nicknames Fyodor, I'm not your 'love' or your 'darling'." You hissed. He leaned to your neck and chuckled.

"Whatever you say Моя любовь" He exhaled his warm breath hitting your neck.

"mmh.." you huffed.

"Stop resisting me Любовь.." As he leaned closer to your neck. He stopped and looked at you for a second. You were looking up at him, wrists red from his grip and his body leaning close to yours, for him your current state was a sight to behold, his favorite part was your glistening lips. As he leaned in, you turned your head to the side. He held your wrist together with his right arm, as his other arm made it's way to your chin grabbing it. He forces you to look at him and as he leaned to your face, the door barged open.

"Alright! Time's up!!" Nikolai halted when he finally saw the two of you. Fyodor let you go, as you stretched you arms; he grabbed you by the waist and whispered to you:

"We'll continue this later милый" He pulled away from you and gave you peck on your head.

"Whatever" you glared at him walking towards the door as Nikolai stood still and Fyodor smirked at you. The door closes and Nikolai was there facing the door.. speechless. His expression darkens and his fist clenched as you left.

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