#so antonio saying that to her makes me sob because he doesn’t care about her not having a gift

[simp2537]

Burn it all 

Camilo madrigal x villain [NAME

The villagers were sobbing, begging for the Madrigals to save them. But you knew, you knew they wouldn’t come. You stood next to your father a numb look on your face. Your father looks at you telepathically telling you to shut them up! 

With a wave of your hand a circle of fire surrounded the villagers. “SHUT UP” you scream. Slowly they all began to quiet down. A cruel smile came on our father’s face. He simply said “Kneel”. When none kneel you grew fearful. You looked to your brother, eyes pleading him not to. 

But he could only give you a look of sympathy. “KNEEL” your brother screams, electricity sparking from his hands. On command everyone kneels. One young girl doesn’t move confused. With that she is struck down with lightning. Her burnt body laying outside the of the circle. You feel a few tears fall down your face as you let out a scream. The little girls mother is sobbing, and her father is glaring at you as you walk to her body. Stopping the fire you look at her burnt body, you feel sick to your core. 

She was just a little girl who was confused. You felt angry at your brother for killing her, did he even care what her name was. You knew her name, her name was Lavender. You just couldn’t hate him. He had no choice. You BOTH had no choice. This was your life, killing, lying, torturing, and more killing. You hate it, because there is no way out. Not even in death. Bending down to her body you place a kiss on her, this makes her body burn. Then turn to ash, a gust of wind carries the ashes away. You get up sending a sad look to your brother, that is the closest thing to a thank you for the wind he would get. 

Your brother has a guilty look on his face. He hates having to kill kids. Hearing rustling behind you turn to see the Madrigals. Isabella’s dress is bloody, and torn. Dolores is on her mother ears bleeding. Pepá has a cloud above her but is otherwise okay. Felix is bruised up, and Luisa is not even there. She was dead before Julieta could heal her. Julieta’s hand is bandage as it was cut off, and has cuts all over her. Mirabel is crying, blood soaking through the dress. Abuela is holding her candle that is almost out. You can’t even look at Antonio. His small form hiding behind Camilo. 

You couldn’t even meet his gaze. It hurt to much, you know what you did was messed up. You pretend to love him to get close to him. But you didn’t know you would fall for Camilo too. By the time you realize it was to late, the plan was set in motion. You tried to stop you father but he knew what you didn’t. Father knew about your powers, but Camilo didn’t. Your father would tell him if you backed out now. This was your job, being the manipulative bitch. But it still hurt. 

“Ahh I see some of you lived to try and save your little village” Your father spat. You and your brother share a sad look that the Madrigals see. A disappointed look comes over Alma’s face. “I will ask you once leave our home. Leave and have her let the villagers go” Alma yelled. A small chuckle came from your lips, she couldn’t, no wouldn’t say your name. I was kinda funny. Your laugh didn’t go unnoticed. 

“How could you! Why did you do this to us! We could have helped you! [NAME] TELL US      WHY!”Mirabel screamed. You just turned around and watched your flames. The way the fire crackled brought you a very small piece of calm. Then you thought about what Mirabel said. Everyone was still quiet, waiting for your response. You had done because it was all you had ever known. All you had ever done was hurt people. You didn’t now what love was, so when Camilo gave it to you, you got scared, but that’s not why you did it. You did it because it was your job, the only thing you had ever known.  

“When I was young I was scared of my everything. And I mean everything. Diego would laugh at how childish I was. One day he played a little prank on me. Do you want to know what he did” you whispered. 

Now concerned Isabella open her mouth but nothing came out. For some reason she understood. This is your way of making yourself feel better about what you had done. That’s why you wouldn’t face them. That’s why you looked at the ring of fire around the villagers. Fearfully Isabella asks “ What did Diego do? [NAME] what did your brothers prank do to you”. 

“He locked me in a shed. Behind the house we lived in. Diego had filled the shed with things I feared. Spiders, snakes, it was dark, and it was a small shed. I began I panic in the shed, crying out for my big brother to let me out. As I cried I let out a scream. Then in my hand was a orb of fire. And for the first time” you paused.

Now everyone was watching you play with your flames. The flames dance in your hand.  Slowly changing into animals. The fire looked beautiful, it looked like moving glass. 

“And for the first time I wasn’t afraid of something. I stoped screaming and watched the fire in my hand. I don’t remember how long I was in the shed, but my father found me eventually. Diego was punished for scaring me. And soon after Diego found out his power” I finished. 

“My father was always there for me, how could I tell him no. So if your father told you that you needed to kill a whole village to protect yourself, you would do it. Right? My whole life I was taught to kill, manipulate, hurt, and torture. It’s all we’ve ever known. This job was no different” you spoke. It was a lie, this job was different. Because you fell in love, you felt love for the first time. Camilo’s scream caught you off guard. 

“WHAT! What do you mean this job was no different. Was it all a lie? Was everything you ever told me a lie?” Camilo screamed, tears streaming down his face. Then, uncertainly, he whispered “Was our love a lie too?”

[NAME] paused. Did she love Camilo? Or was she just trying to make herself feel better? Was she trying to convince herself that she loved Camilo? Was this all just an act for her mission?

Camilo stared at her, all the hope in his eyes diminishing. In his head he loves her, ever if she killed his cousin. The time he shared with [NAME] were the only time he could be himself. With her family he had to be perfect, just like Isabella. Everyone had to be perfect. He wanted to be free with you. He needed her, he needed her to be happy. 

“I don’t know” was all you said. You didn’t now what you wanted. Your father loves you but it was tough love. Camilo’s love was different. It made you hands sweaty, your face flush red, and made you feel warm inside. Camilo’s face dropped a little, and your father was getting mad.

“If you don’t know then there must be something the- THERE IS NOTHING THERE [NAME] DOSENT LOVE YOU” your father finished for Camilo. I wanted to yell at your father for yelling at him. He had no right! Camilo just wanted to be loved by you. Right? You didn’t know. 

“[NAME] this is what we do. You and Diego are evil, and cruel. YOU CANNOT LOVE HIM, you can’t love. You’ve done this a million times, it’s not different from all the others. Ana mlark, James hever, Becca jones, you did this with all of them. CAMILO MADRIGAL is no different. You think you love them but you don’t, you just think you do” your father shrieked. He was right about them. About Ana about James about Becca, but not Camilo. 

“[NAME] don’t do it I love you”

……….

“[NAME] you don’t love him.”

………..

“[NAME]”

………. 

“Yes Diego”

…………

“BURN IT ALL”

……….

#camilo x you #encanto #madrigal family #camilo x reader #villain reader #enemies to lovers to enemies

[tending-the-hearth]

Antonio saying “I need you” to Mirabel during his ceremony is probably the first time she’s heard anyone say that they need her and only her.

#everyone else in her family is always needed by tons of people because of their powers #mirabel was always on the side and never was given a purpose #she was just the madrigal without a gift so she wasn’t needed #so antonio saying that to her makes me sob because he doesn’t care about her not having a gift #he doesn’t care about anything #he just needs his cousin who’s basically another big sister to him #imagine their bond??? #and the fact that he didn’t ask questions when he saw her with bruno #that precious kid is 5 and was treating mirabel the best out of everyone besides her parents #disney #encanto #antonio madrigal #mirabel madrigal

[mcmactictac]

Hello and welcome to the 7 (plus nico and Reyna) watching Encanto headcanons

Leo- likes Camilo. Projects on him and laughs about it as a funny joke. He jokes about being the handsome guy who makes everyone laugh. Sees Julieta and mirabel interact and is no longer laughing. That scene in the kitchen messes him up, he misses his mom so badly. Also being the most fluent Spanish speaker, he picks up on most of the little references and stuff. if people have questions about something he will turn to them and explain what it means. Dos oruguitas Is an incredibly sad song and all of his joking stops when he hears it. He hums the song for days after they watch it and grows to find it comforting. Really appreciates all of the subtle things in the movie that make him go “hey, I do that”

Hazel- her mother reminds her of abuela. She sees herself as Bruno because she also feels outcasted for powers she can’t control. She did the best she could and cared for her mom but it was never enough. The same way Bruno never met Abuelas expectations, she feels like a failure, a curse. Always felt very isolated and out of place when she came back. She feels bad about how poorly he was treated and thinks he forgave abuela too quickly.

Annabeth- Percy did the 👀 thing everyone jokes about to annabeth when surface pressure came on. She totally relates to carrying too much. She won’t say anything but she also feels like Isabella. Especially on her relationship with her mom and Isabella’s relationship with abuela. She wishes she could be perfect and seen as good enough, despite it being inauthentic. It’s refreshing for her to see Isabella let go and grow by letting go of her expectations for herself. She thinks it’s a good movie but will choose to repress any emotions that come with it

Percy- this movie messes with Percy to his core. He’s got a split of Luisa and Mirabel. Man has WAY too much pressure placed on his shoulders yet always feels disconnected from those around him. Julieta and agustin remind him of Sally and Paul. Hispanic Percy lives rent free in my mind so dos orguitas has him absolutley SOBBING and annabeth is like bro are you good. Percy is just doing the silent sob to not get peoples attention. He also thinks about annabeth as Luisa first, talks with her about it and she’s like “yeah but you really remind me of her too like think about these lyrics” and Percy takes a second and is like. “Wait. I AM carrying too much.” He’s also a huge Bruno sympathizer and thinks he deserves so much better.

Frank- Frank thinks this is a great movie! His grandmother and abuela are very similar to him and sees a lot of the sane traits reflected. The unintentional passing of trauma. He relates to mirabel and is not afraid to say it. He heard waiting on a miracle and was kinda like :o . He spent so long waiting on a chance to be recognized, for someone to really SEE him and even after he gets the blessing from Mars he still feels lost like Mirabel is. Likes the end of the movie with the resolution between Mirabel and abuela. He also adores Antonio. Would protect him with his life.

Piper- I’m gonna say she sees herself as Dolores now let me explain myself. She’s always cast aside but not in a Mirabel way. Like she’s there but is just kinda off to the side and no one really pays her any attention. She’s powerful and empathetic, a wonderful character who struggles to find her place and what to do with her family. She’s there, but not quite there. Although this movie isn’t as impactful for her she still talks about how it’s a good movie that showcases intergenerational trauma really well. It’s not a concept she’s foreign too, she just doesn’t feel pulled toward one particular character

Jason- Jason’s just vibing. He relates to Isabella and Luisa but not on an earth shattering level. He goes mhm yeah I get that and moves on. He also sees lupa as abuela and does not see a problem with it. Jason would pull up like “yeah I think abuela was right to be so hard on Mirabel it made her stronger” and 8 different heads spin towards him. He doesn’t really get it. Piper and Leo have to have the “this is not acceptable behaviour and this movie shows the dysfunctional relationship in this family. This is not healthy behaviour” talk with him. It’s awkward

Reyna- my god did she see Isabella at first and go uh the pretty girl gets everything so easy and then she sang and she was like ahaha. Wait. If anyone asks, she did not find any character in the movie super relatable but she thought it was good. Dos oruguitas was a hard hit for her. Hylla reminds her of Luisa

Nico- I know Nicos Italian but I feel like he knows a decent amount of Spanish. My brain just says he picked it up growing up. This movie messes him up and not why everyone thinks. It’s the end with dos oruguitas that ruins his life because it reminds him of Bianca? Like the way abuela is sobbing on the ground all alone that sends him right back to when he learned Bianca was dead. The song reminds him of Bianca. Leo and Reyna understand the words but doesn’t get why it hits him so hard. Percy gets the words but It takes him a while after watching it to understand why it was so hard for Nico. But it’s random one day when Leo is humming it as Nico is in the room and Nico tenses up a bit and Percy has the “oh” moment. He blames himself for making Nico relate to that song. Shocker to no one, Nico is also a big Bruno fan/sympathizer though not really a kin. Nico would have left and never gone back.

These are all just random headcanons of mine but I’d love to hear any other thoughts on it!

#encanto #PJO #Percy Jackson #the seven #hero’s of olympus #nico di angelo #reyna ramirez avila arellano #annabeth chase #frank zhang #hazel levesque #jason grace #piper mclean #leo valdez #dos oruguitas #Disney #the family madrigal #the madrigals #mirabel madrigal #luisa madrigal #isabella madrigal

[howtosingit]

Fic: shatter every window ‘til it’s all blown away

Carlos visits family in San Antonio while TK faces multiple storms in Austin.

*

Missing moments from 1x04. 

2.1K | Also on AO3

- - - - - -

definitely just saw like 7 tornadoes

wtf

why exactly does this state want to kill me?

Carlos is sitting on his mother’s couch in San Antonio when he gets TK’s texts. It’s the first time he’s heard from the guy in a couple of days, since he left him on his front porch after their date. The silence hasn’t been terrible, if Carlos is being honest with himself. Sure, TK continues to take up space in his head every moment of every day, but the space seems to be getting smaller, or at least less centralized. He thinks that must count for something.

He glances up at the TV across the room, watching the meteorologist report on the major storm system wreaking havoc on Texas. Outside, rain pelts the windows of his mom’s one-story house, thunder roaring as lightning flashes. They’re a little too far south to be facing any tornadoes, but based on what he’s seeing, he can only imagine what kind of chaos Austin is experiencing at the center of the system. 

Behind him, his mother and sisters flit around the kitchen preparing dinner, their conversation barely audible over the thunderstorm. He focuses on his phone again, thinking about how to respond.

Consider that a true Texas welcome?

Are you somewhere safe?

Carlos bites his bottom lip, watching as three dots appear at the bottom of his screen. He assumes that if TK is texting him he’s probably okay, but he’s sure this is the firefighter’s first tornado, so it doesn’t hurt to check. TK has been known to chase danger before.

yeah I’m at work

cowboy judd has us hunkered down until it clears

wbu?

Carlos looks back towards the TV, staring at the map that has taken over the screen. He sees numerous watches and warnings across the state, with a large concentration around Austin. The damage in certain areas is going to be catastrophic.

I’m in San Antonio, we’re just getting heavy rain here 

There’s a pause following his text, long enough that he sets his phone down next to him, leaning forward on the couch to rub his temples. He’s already imagining the crazy workload awaiting him when he returns to town, not to mention all the loss. His heart clenches in his chest, knowing that it’s going to be a long road to recovery for his city.

His phone buzzes next to him.

I didn’t know you were out of town

but I’m glad you’re out of the worst of it

Carlos is already typing a response when another text comes through.

when are you back?

Carlos blinks, forcing himself not to read anything into TK’s messages. They’re friends now, or trying to be, and it’s super normal to ask these kinds of questions. TK’s just being curious, nothing more.

Tomorrow night, I’m working Monday

Just visiting family for a few days, it’s my sister’s birthday

He wonders if he needed to share that last bit. TK hadn’t asked for it, and he probably won’t care what reason he has for being out of town. Carlos sighs, wondering why he feels like he has to overthink every interaction with this man.

tell her happy birthday!

Judd says we’re probably going to lose service soon, it’s getting worse around the station

I’ll text you back when I can

Carlos sends a message telling him to be safe before tossing his phone to the other end of the couch, knowing that if he holds onto it he won’t do anything else until he hears from TK again. His mother finds him a few moments later, biting his fingernails as he stares at the continuous weather report. She runs her fingers through his curls, a surefire way to soothe him.

“I’m so glad you’re here and not in the middle of all of that, mijo,” she says, and he glances up to find her watching the report as well, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Are all of your friends safe?” she asks, looking down at him. He nods, his eyes closing as he feels her gentle touch on his scalp. He can feel anxiety rolling off of him in waves. “That’s good,” she says, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Come help in the kitchen, nene. You need a distraction.”

Her voice is firm, leaving no room for argument. With a sigh, he pulls himself up from the couch, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they head into the other room, his phone left behind.

- - - -

He’s only about 20 minutes from Austin when his phone rings, the sound cutting through the music blasting in his car. Carlos glances over at his phone where it’s mounted on the dashboard, surprised to see TK’s name on his screen.

The firefighter had texted him once the storms had cleared, letting him know that everyone was safe and the station was still standing. Carlos wished him luck as the 126 headed out into the wreckage, honestly not expecting to hear from TK again before they saw each other at work. 

He reaches out, swiping his finger across the screen to answer the unexpected call. 

“TK?”

There’s a moment of silence before Carlos hears the other man take a deep breath, the sound traveling clearly through his car’s speakers. 

“Hey, Carlos.”

Carlos feels his heart drop down into his stomach at the weak, broken tone of TK’s voice. His mind races with worst-case scenarios, wondering what could’ve possibly happened during his shift.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, trying to keep his voice calm. An image of a battered and bruised TK curled over his desk flashes through his mind, and he presses a little harder on the accelerator, wondering how quickly he can get back home.

“Not exactly. I just…”

TK trails off, hesitating, and Carlos rolls his eyes, frustrated that this conversation is happening over the phone and not in-person. He feels so helpless from so far away.

“Just talk to me, TK. I’m listening.”

There’s another pause, and Carlos swears that he’s about to scream in frustration. He has no idea what’s going on with TK right now, but in the entire time that he’s known him, he’s never heard the other man sound this shattered. Every heavy breath that Carlos hears through the phone feels like a punch straight to his chest.

“We lost someone on a call today,” TK starts, his voice blank. “A dad who wouldn’t let us treat him until we saved his kids. They were trapped in the house.”

Carlos bites his lip, his hands gripping tightly to the steering wheel as his eyes fill with tears. He knows what it’s like to have someone die in front of him, to feel like all he did was stand by and watch it happen. Those are the days where he feels completely useless, like there’s no point in him wearing the badge at all. He knows it’s impossible to save everyone all the time, but he can’t imagine not doing everything in his power to try.

“We got the kids out,” TK continues. “They all reunited, and then he just collapsed. Right in front of all of us. It felt so sudden, and there was n-nothing we c-could do.”

Carlos is shocked by the sound of TK crying over the phone, his breath stuttering over the last few words. He feels a tear of his own fall onto his cheek, his bottom lip quivering at the pain in the other man’s voice. 

Doing what they do isn’t easy. It’s process and procedure and protocol. It’s assessing the situation, finding those who need the most help. It’s quick and sometimes callous, but it’s what they have to do, to be of any real use. It’s tunnel vision and quickest actions, all in the name of saving as many people as they can.

And it always hurts, when someone slips through the cracks; when someone’s pain goes undiscovered until it’s too late. Every time, it makes Carlos want to throw away the rule book, rethink the system, figure out how to make it better. He just wants to save everyone.

“I’m so sorry, Ty,” he says, the nickname slipping through for the first time. He tries to keep his voice calm and clear, for TK’s sake.

The other man doesn’t respond, but Carlos can hear him crying through the phone, quiet sobs rolling through the speakers. He’s just about to speak up, say something else, maybe offer a distraction, when TK’s voice cuts through.

“My dad has cancer,” he whispers, and of all the things that Carlos thought he might say, that revelation had not been anywhere on the list.

“What?” Carlos asks, the single syllable rattling through the air before he can stop it, his heart caught in a vice-like grip of terror for TK. 

The man has already faced so much. 

“I found some pills in his desk,” TK explains. “They’re prescribed for chemo patients.”

“Fuck, TK,” Carlos whispers, running his fingers through his curls as he takes his exit off I-35. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” TK says, letting out a breath. He doesn’t say anything else.

“Where are you right now?” Carlos asks, a new fear running through him. 

“Home.”

“Is anyone with you?” 

“No.”

“Do you need someone?” Carlos asks, making a decisive turn towards TK’s house. Just in case. 

“I don’t know,” TK says weakly. “I… I don’t know, Carlos.”

“What are you thinking?” Carlos asks, trying to figure out TK’s state-of-mind. He seems a little all-over-the-place, and Carlos doesn’t even know where to begin. 

“I can’t lose him, Carlos,” TK responds, and Carlos can hear the sob in the back of his throat. “He’s all I have here, I can’t lose him. I’m looking around and he’s everywhere and I can’t escape him or, or this image of him just collapsing right in front of me, without warning. Just like that dad did today. What if that had been my dad, and I missed it because I wasn’t paying attention? Because I was focused on everything else and not on the person who was really dying?”

Carlos makes another turn. “I understand that, TK, but it’s not going to happen, okay? It’s not. You know now, and nothing happened to your dad. I know it’s hard, but you can’t get trapped in the ‘what-ifs,’ you’ll drive yourself crazy,” he says, trying to be as soothing as possible.

“I don’t have anywhere to go that isn’t connected to him,” TK continues, “but I also don’t want to leave, because something could happen when I’m not here. I don’t know what to do, and I just keep pacing around the house.”

“Would it…” Carlos hesitates, wondering if he should even offer. “Would it help to have someone there with you, while you wait for him?” 

“I…” TK starts, his voice cutting out. “I thought you were in San Antonio?”

“I just got back, I could be at your place in 10, if you want,” Carlos tells him, already mentally mapping the drive. He turns left, getting closer.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am,” Carlos states, his voice firm. “‘Not running away,’ remember?”

There’s a heavy silence following the reminder of their last face-to-face conversation. Carlos pulls up to a stop sign, holding his breath as he waits for TK to make a decision. 

“Thank you, Carlos,” he finally says, and Carlos wonders if he’s imagining the lighter tone in his voice.

“I’m only a few minutes away, okay? Do you want to stay on the call?”

“Do you mind?”

“No, not at all,” Carlos says, his heart feeling a little bit lighter as TK voice strengthens on the other end of the line.

“How was your sister’s birthday?” TK asks suddenly, and Carlos hears the clear request for a distraction; one that he’s more than happy to provide.

He’s in the middle of sharing how he helped his mom with the cake when he knocks on the door to the Strand household. Seconds later, TK throws open the door, his eyes red and glassy as he drops his phone and pulls Carlos towards him. He wraps his arms around TK’s frame, pressing him against his chest as they stand in the doorway, letting TK’s tears soak the t-shirt he’s wearing as he gently strokes his back.

There’s no hesitation, no second-guessing. There’s just a desire to support and comfort and protect.

He can’t imagine being anywhere else.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #I wrote a thing #tarlos missing moments collection

[tonio-dawson]

A little help

Antonio Dawson x Reader

Word count: 1,522

You ran out from the hospital after receiving a phone call from Voight. Once you arrived at 21st, Trudy was ready to buzz you up, “Locker room.” was all she said with a concerned look. 

You went upstairs where everyone was still there, some of them are packing up but expecting you. “Did somebody die?” you asked. 

Jay looked at you and nodded.

Voight stood at his door and asked you to come to his office. Out of many times you’ve been called to pick up Antonio, you were never once invited to Voight’s office. Something must have happened. 

“Y/N, sorry to call you in. It’s different today. This case, the particulars were too close to Eva’s case. She was Latina. Same MOs, she was taken near her home, to the van, the building where she was held was also similar, but the difference is.... we’re too late. She died on the way to the hospital.” said Voight, you clenched your jaw hearing it. 

“Antonio’s a great detective, Y/N. It was a long day for us, but he kept it together, his guts and thinking were always on point, we caught the guy 2 hours ago.” Voight turned and looked at you, troubled, “But after we put this guy in cuffs, Antonio’s just.. shut off. Didn’t speak a word. Went straight to the locker room and locked the door. This has never happened before. Usually...”

“Usually he’s just sitting at his desk buried himself to work refusing to go home until I come to pick him up.” you finished Voight’s sentence.

He nodded, “My point is- he needs help, Y/N. Really needs it. I’m scared that we’ll lose him altogether if this keeps up.” Voight looked deeply into you. 

“I have tried before, but I’ll try differently,” you let out a huge sigh, while thinking how you’re going to persuade him this time. Many people, including yourself, have been suggesting Antonio to get a proper help but he always refused them. Saying it hasn’t interrupted his daily life. 

Antonio has been struggling after Eva was taken a year ago. You were one of the doctors who treat Eva and that’s how you met him, he was in a bad place that time. But slowly, he got better at managing it. He could really use your company, but you knew he was never get to the bottom of it, not without a professional help. 

After hard cases, usually the ones reminded him of his children, he shuts himself down. Not even a word to his colleagues, not even to Voight. Somehow, only you can get through to him. Although not much, Antonio could open up to you and his dependency organically led to you seeing each other.

He could handle himself at work, his distress had never interfere his work which is why Voight has never pushed him to seek therapy. Until this day. 

You walked out Voight’s office towards the locker room, while Antonio’s team looked at you with worry.

“Hey, anything he needs. We’re here to help.” said Jay. “Yeah you got us, Y/N.” added Kevin. You smiled at them, “Thanks guys, he’ll get through this one.”

You knocked on the door, “Antonio, it’s me.” he let you in but quickly sat down on the floor with head down buried to his knees. You joined to sit down besides him and rubbed his back.

“Hey, baby. Look at me.” he looked to you, his eyes filled with tears. 

Once he saw your face, he immediately hugged you and breaks down, “She was only 17. She could’ve been Eva...” he started to sob. 

“I know, I’m very sorry to hear that. But she’s not Eva.” you hugged him tightly.

As Antonio started to calm down, you pulled away from the hug, “Take a day off tomorrow, please? Spend it with me.” you asked him.

“No, it’s fine. I need work to distract myself.” he replied.

“That’s the thing, you need to stop distracting yourself and address this.” you said. After a long debate, you finally convinced him to talk to Voight and take a day off. 

-

At home, you cooked him his favorite dish knowing that’s the only thing he’d eat. Antonio was awfully quiet until you break the silence, “Do you want to call Eva? Just see what she’s up to.” he nodded. 

You dialed her number and gave the phone to Antonio, “Hi baby, how are you doing?” his voice cracked you can see him holding his tears real hard. 

“Yes, everything is okay.” 

“Just a really hard case.” 

“You’re enjoying college? That’s great to hear.” 

“Eva, I love you so much.” 

He hang up and looked to you, “She sounds good. She is studying with her roommate at the dorm.” he finally cracked a smile. 

“There you are. You look charming when you smile.” you teased him. He just let out a small chuckle. You can just see how much he loves his children and hearing them doing well is the cure he needed. 

After dinner, you snuggled by his side on the couch watching TV. “Y/N, can you hold me?” he suddenly asked. You changed your position, leaning back to the sofa, your small body can only take his torso and you let his head rest on your chest. 

You kissed his head, you can see that he’s still hurt from the case but still he does not want to talk about it. You wrapped both of your arm around his body and he kissed your arm, staring at the TV mindlessly. 

“Do you want to get breakfast tomorrow at Terry’s?” you asked him.

He just nodded not really wanting to argue this time.

-

The next morning, at Terry’s, when you both walking in, he saw familiar figure and immediately smiled. 

“Hi baby girl, what are you doing here? No classes?” he pulled Eva into a hug.

“Hey Dad. Y/N invited me. Classes only starts at 2pm.” she smiled at you while Antonio looked at you with a confused look. You knew that if you ask him beforehand to invite Eva down to the city, he’d refused, so you decided to go behind his back.  

Breakfast was great. Antonio is another mood when he’s around his children. He’s a great dad but he often cut himself short. Eva is all grown up now, she’s smart and hard-willed just like her dad. Your relationship with her grow even after her regular hospital visit stopped. She loves you because Antonio seems to be more grounded with you around. Although you know sometimes she’s using you to get what she wants from Antonio.

“Dad, there’s something that I want to ask you.” said Eva. 

“Uh-oh, what is it this time? Don’t tell me you want me to buy you a car, cause that’s not happening.” he replied. 

“No,” she chuckled, “Dad, I think you need to get real help.”

There’s a long pause before Antonio replied, “Did Y/N put you up for this?” he looked at you raising suspicion, you quickly shook your head. “Come on baby, I’m better than that. And that is besides the point.” you said. While in fact, you have been asking Eva to talk to her dad, she agreed, but just never really found the chance yet. With regular family day, there’s always Diego and Gabby around. They never found time for a daughter-father quality time. But this time, you can’t wait anymore.

“Dad, I’m 19 now. I am a woman of my own now. But then, Y/N is a professional doctor and she thinks so too. Uncle Hank who is your sergeant, a man who can advise you in professional capacity also said the same. Not to mention aunt Gabby and several of your friends. I’m no professional but I’m your daughter so that counts for something, no?” Eva explained slowly but very eloquent. You knew that reaching out to her is a great move.

Antonio paused again. His eyes grew soft looking at his daughter.

“There’s nothing wrong in receiving a little help, Antonio.” you took his hand, “It does not make you less of a cop, or less of a dad.” you looked at Eva. 

“I’ll think about it.” he finally spoke.

“Last year, I got help, and you encouraged me, remember? Why can’t I do the same- because I’m young and you’re fully grown adult?” now Eva’s tone grew sternly. You did not expect that and Antonio certainly did not too.

Antonio read her daughter eyes filled with worry for her dad, “Okay, what do you want?” he sighed, he knows Eva won’t stop until he said something that satisfies her. 

“Call Dr. Charles today.” she said.

“Alright, okay, fine. I will get a help. Darling, would you set it up?” he looked up to you this time. 

“Consider it done.” you replied, you looked at Eva and she grinned. 

“I love you, dad.” she hugged him. Antonio looked at you with a you-did-this look, but you don’t really care. You know he’d be thanking you one day, he just doesn’t know it yet. 

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #antonio dawson #antonio dawson imagine #antonio dawson x reader

[ren1327]

Sweater Weather Ch.7

Ben sipped the caldo slowly, enjoying the slight spiciness that seemed to warm him from inside out.

“This is really good.” He said and Carmen smiled.

Bumpy barked from beside him, eating some dogfood mixed with shredded chicken and broth from their soup.

“Kenji, I had no idea you could cook so well.” He praised.

Kenji blushed and smiled.

“I’m so glad you’re not actually sick!” Carmen said. “Now I can be as loud as I want!”

“Carm…”

“It’s fine, Kenji. Let her hang lose before we meet at the hotel.” Ben said, sipping his atole.

“You really like that.” Kenji remarked.

“It’s a corn drink. A corn drink.” Ben said. “With chocolate.”

“I still can’t believe you’ve never had a real tamale.” Carmen said. “Mama is gonna freak. We always make a bunch for New Year’s.”

“Like an assembly line.” Kenji said.

“Dad. Hates it.” Carmen said. “Doesn’t like sticky things, but he’s always on masa duty since his spreads are always so even.”

“He gotta work for his food.” Kenji said. “He eats the most aside from your truly.”

“How are you not overweight?” Ben asked, raising a brow.

“Fast metabolism plus weights and swimming.”

“Perfect body.” Ben scoffed. “Even have the perfect shape for a swimmer.”

Kenji blushed. “So, yeah! I can eat like, a dozen tamales myself!”

“I wish I could see it.” Ben said.

“Y’know Ben…” Carmen said with a smile. “You could stay past New Year’s.”

“I mean, I could, I don’t have much to do but stay on top of classes.” He said with a blush.

“So it’s settled!”

“What’s settled?” Ben asked.

“Carmen.” Kenji started before she hopped up and took hers and Bumpy’s empty bowels.

“Gonna walk Bumpy and go shower!” She called and Kenji sighed as Ben finished his rice.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I really like her and…” Ben shrugged. “I could stay.”

“Ben, you don’t have to feel—”

“I like it. I like your family and I like yo—” He snapped his mouth close. “I…”

Kenji walked around the table to kiss Ben’s cheek. “I like you too.”

“This doesn’t fix anything.” He said coyly, gently pushing him back as he stood.

“No, of course not.” Kenji said and hugged him close. “Sorry!”

He pulled away.

“I…”

“I’m not fragile, Kenji.” Ben said.

“But still, I use to shove you and your ex…”

“Is long gone.” Ben said. “But on the subject of exes?”

Kenji sighed. “Let me clean the dishes fist, okay?”

“Alright. Want me to wait in the living room?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there soon.” Kenji said and left him at the table.

 *

 Ben was poking at the fireplace when Kenji came in, the flames high and warming the room.

“Nice.” Kenji said. “I can never get it going.”

Ben smiled and sat on the sofa; Kenji next to him.

“So?” Ben asked.

“Right to it.” Kenji said with a grimace. “Okay. So…what do you want to know?”

“Brooklynn. What happened between you two?”

“Nothing.” Kenji said. “And I mean it how I say it. There was nothing.”

Ben blinked up at him.

“I really liked her, at first. We were more popular and well liked and we both thought we were attractive and…I did like her. We went out and for me…I just wanted a girlfriend to say I wasn’t single. Birthdays, holidays and just little anniversaries were fine and cute. And I liked things like kissing and being held but then, on our one year…she said I love you.” He stared at the fire. “And I couldn’t say it back.”

He closed his eyes and say her. Young and smiling, her green eyes widening as she realized he wasn’t answering.

“It’s okay.” She said. “You don’t have to say it yet.”

“And then we had sex. We were each other’s first and to me it was like ticking a box of things I had done and she said it again and I…I lied to her.” Kenji whispered. “I think she could tell. But she couldn’t handle it. She kept smiling and hugging and kissing me. She would tell me everything and we would talk but I never really…I never opened myself like she did.”

 “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“…okay. What do you want for dinner?”

 “Our second anniversary came up and she wanted us to get our own place together and go to the same university…I didn’t.”

 “Why don’t you want to go with me? They have an athletics department. Or engineering…whatever you chose, I’m sure they would have something for you to work on your career.”

“I don’t want to leave Carmen.”

“Okay. But if we go t Hammond U together, we could get our own place a-and maybe—”

“Brooklynn, I don’t want to go to Hammond U.” Kenji snapped. “Please stop asking me.”

“Kenji, I want to go!”

“Then go!” He yelled. “We have cell phones, and I can go visit! Why is this such a big deal?”

“…We’ve been a couple for two years. Don’t you want to be with me?” She asked. “Don’t you want to get married and have a family after all this?”

Kenji bit his lip and swallowed.

“Oh my god…You…you settled with me. You don’t love me; you love having a girlfriend!” She yelled, face red, too red around the cheeks. “I can’t believe…”

“Brooklynn, I do care about you—”

“Do you want to marry me?” She asked, eyes filling with tears. “Because I want to marry you.”

“I…I don’t know…”

“Kenji, why are you with me if you don’t want a future with me?” She asked and he couldn’t answer.

“I’m sorry…” He said, feeling like she was the wrong height, her face too sharp, her eyes too green. She wasn’t who he wanted to wake up next to. And she could see it in his face.

“No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was so desperate to be with you, I never cared about myself. Well, I know better. You will never love me. Not how I love you.”

She sobbed and took off her rings, the necklace he got her for her birthday and her charm bracelet.

“No, keep them—” Kenji begged.

“I don’t need things!” She yelled. “I needed…I needed a boyfriend. Get out of my apartment.”

Kenji took them with shaking hands.

“I’m sorry—”

“Get out!!” She yelled.

 “And I left…” Kenji said. “I grabbed my things and drove to the airport. I was going to go back to Seattle and settle in the cabin for a bit, but I just chose the next flight out of Cali. And I ended up in India. Took out as much cash as I could carry safely and found one of those spiritual retreats all those people with mid life crisis take. I didn’t take it seriously enough and so I bummed around a community of hipsters from the US. Did some work there, ran out of money, used the last to get home after four months of ignoring everything around me.”

“And now?” Ben asked.

“I…” Kenji’s voice cracked, and he chuckled, tears gathering as he licked his lips and looked into the flames. “I don’t like…me.”

Ben turned to him as Kenji used his shirt collar to wipe his face.

“I don’t like who I was, who I am. I just…I hurt everyone. I hurt you, I hurt Brooklyn and being away from Carmen hurt her too and I…” He sniffed. “I don’t know how to fix me, so I don’t hurt anyone again.”

“I think you’re doing pretty great right now.” Ben said and Kenji scoffed.

“It took balls to come back and come see your family and admit what you did.” Ben said. “Being honest is one of the bravest first steps someone can take with themselves.”

“So says the fake boyfriend.”

“So says the real friend.” Ben retorted and took Kenji’s jaw in his hands. “I am your friend Kenji. And I hated who you were, but…I really like who you’re becoming.”

“And who am I becoming?” Kenji whispered.

“Real.” Ben said and hugged him tightly. “Now cry it out.”

Kenji sniffed. “I’m gonna snot up your shirt.”

“I can steal one of yours.” Ben said and Kenji laughed.

“It’s okay, Kenji.” Ben said. “You can become better.”

“Thank you.” Kenji whispered and sobbed.  “Thank you.”

 *

 Kenji drank down the last of his water, his eyes puffy and red as Ben came back in one of his old sweaters.

“How are you feeling?” Ben asked.

“Like my head is full of buzzing bees.”

“You cried a lot. Food can help.” Ben said.

“Dessert is in the fridge. The chocolate in the ceramic bowls.”

“Okay.” Ben said and left, only to return with two bowls and two spoons, both with a heavy amount of whipped cream on top.

“Carmen must have gotten to them earlier.” Kenji said, noting how stiff the whipped cream looked.

“Pudding?”

“More of a chocolate custard. Pots de Crème. Made with Mexican chocolate.” Kenji said.

“How are you not a chef?” Ben asked.

“Don’t like being told what to do.” Kenji said.

“Not true. I boss you around plenty.” Ben joked. “But for now, I suppose I can cater to you. What do you want right now?”

“Feed me chocolate and tell me I’m pretty?” Kenji asked and Ben burst out laughing.

Kenji sat up and took a bowl.

“What would you do, if you could do anything?” Ben asked with a smile.

“Anything?” Kenji asked. “Geeze…um…I don’t know. What could I do with my limited repertoire?”

“Model.” Ben said with a shrug. “Cook. Um, maybe be an interpreter. Or even an actor.”

“Really settling in my looks.” Kenji teased.

“They’re good looks.” Ben said.

“Thank you, but these are only for my fake boyfriend—”

“Oh my gosh, this is so good!” Ben exclaimed around a mouth of custard.

“Uh…it is?” Kenji asked. “I mean, of course it is!”

“Kenji, you have a gift.” Ben said as he took another bite.

“Well, if your bookstore has a café, I can…can always help out there.” Kenji said with a blush.

Ben looked up at him with wide eyes and Kenji felt his heart hit his ribs.

“You would…you would be okay working with me?” Ben asked.

“Yeah. I could observe too. Maybe we could make the back area a café and have the study rooms and computer lab area around there too.” Kenji said.

“Y-Yeah!” Ben said. “The front desk could be a resource area too.”

“Lots of pamphlets!”

“Yeah, and if possible, we can have an open area in the back. Like a community garden.”

“I think maybe a small area with benches and a fountain?” Kenji asked. “We could get another  area or build a small kitchen and indoor dining area. I was thinking two stories, but I think I saw a building with some land near downtown San Antonio—”

“San Antonio?” Ben asked.

“Unless you want to stay in Cali.”

“No, it’s just…I thought you’d be more okay with being in Cali.” Ben said.

“You want San Antonio.” Kenji said. “So I can settle there since we have a little place there too. The downtown area would be best anyway. And I know there’s more kids who need help there.”

Ben smiled and took another bite. “Settle?”

“Settle with the house. I want to work with you, Ben. I want to help the kids who are hurting. Maybe we could help the ones who hurt them too.” Kenji said.

“I think that’s a great idea.” Ben said and put his empty bowl on the side table.

Kenji put his own bowl down and smiled, pulling the other close, Ben resting his head on Kenji’s shoulder.

“And would you settle with someone?”

“No. I’d date someone I know I could love.”

“And how could you tell?” Ben asked.

“Can’t you?” He asked and Ben blushed when he placed a hand on Kenji’s chest, feeling the thud of his heart.

Ben looked up at him and Kenji’s eyes met his. He pulled Ben into another kiss, the smaller man climbing onto his lap and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Kenji pulled away and rested his forehead against Ben’s before chuckling.

“What?” Ben asked.

“You taste like chocolate.” Kenji said and kissed him quickly.

Ben laughed and laid his head on Kenji’s shoulder. “I don’t want to be angry anymore.”

“I don’t either.” Kenji said. “Hey, Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you, date me?” Kenji asked.

Ben pulled away, face pink with his blush. “I... you…”

He laughed and covered his mouth.

“Okay. Okay.” He said. “I like you too, Kenji. Let’s do it. Let’s date.”

“And?” Kenji asked.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Maybe we can be boyfriends.”

“Yes!” Kenji said, pumping his fist.

“You’re such a dork.”

“You like this dork.”

“I do.” Ben said with a laugh and kissed Kenji again.

#jw sweater weather #kenji x ben #kenben #kenjamin #wildcity #japanese-mexican kenji #let me have this #thank you guys so much #camp cretaceous sweater weather #camp cretaceous fanfic

[racheljchen]

story vomit

-hong kong runaway idea reality in mental hospital? mr robot perfect blue -blue hour love "i wanna be scary" heart break shaves eyebrows red lipstick black panther for asians space? dreamjng of home story about learning to let go and putting yourself first story about choosing happiness, prolonged misery JYN AND CASSIAN IMMORTALS her fingers ruffled through soft locks of his hair, and her heart swelled. it was too little and too much all at once, after all the years apart, how could she have ever doubted wanting to be by his side again? Now that he was in her arms the certainty seemed to settle into an unshakable truth, that she and he were meant to return to each other, circling each other, standing by the other's side no matter the circumstances of the rest of the foolish world. the girl from before, who only knew of solitude, of running, looking over shoulder at every turned would have thought this new certainty unthinkable. it might have terrified her or disgusted her, but the Jyn of now was a different woman. his eyes caught her transfixed gaze and crinkled with a smile she knew better than her own. no words needed to break the cozy silence for the understanding to pass between them. there was nothing she wanted more than to crush his body to hers, to hold him gently and never let go again but the feeling overwhelmed her and she could only continue to cradle his head in her lap, stroking a finger down the jawline she loved. mine. mine. her heart said, touching a body that was not her own, this skin which would pierce me to be bruised, these bones which would shatter her to be broken. hours later, after many hushed words had passed between them, describing in few short words the many hard years that had passed for each of them, as the sky began to flush lilac with the rising  sun, they broke apart with much hesitance. after several failed attempts on cassian's part to urge her to the fresher for a much needed shower, she finally relented breaking the connecting touch betwen them. jyn couldnt contain the tiniest childish pout. how could she miss holding him within seconds of relinquishing the contact? annoyed at feeling like a childish teenager but still petulant to let go. "go!" urged cassian, his eyes crinkling with a grin, and then, of course how she resist grabbing his smiling face again and kissing those grinning lips. cassians arms could not help but to circle around her waist but of course he was the one with the greater self restraint and he withdrew them after a few moments, pushing her gently towards the fresher door. under the hot satisfying spray Jyn allower herself the luxury of a quick moment to just enjoy the comforts of a life not based on the next meal, next job, and the overhanging urgency of survival, before she got to work scrubbing off the unholy layers of grime on her body. as she lathered suds into her hair, the fresher door clicked open with a soft hiss, and she peered through the fogged shower door at cassian, who of course smiled at her again, and she marveled at the ease of his surrending unlimited smiles for her when he was a man of few smiles for the rest of the universe. and with that her traitorous heart was off again, squeezing with the overwhelming painful joy of having him by her side again. cassian rinsed his toothbrush, finished with brushing his teeth. with a mischievous grin he peeled of his under shirt and dropped his trousers to the floor. steam poured out of the fresher as he slipped in beside her, putting his rough hands on the soft slick skin of her waist. jyn hooked her arms around his neck and tiptoed up to kiss him, soft sweet and slow, and they stood under the spray, feeling each other up like teenagers until suddenly Jyn shrieked. "Ah! Sorry, sorry, the boiler tank is small, I've been wanting to install a bigger one-" Jyn laughed despite the freezing spray erasing her comfortable warmth by the second. "get out you horn dog i still have to rinse out my hair" one of them gets executed but comes back to life cassian? comes back to find jyn and their child // cassian as a fire breathing bar tender modern au where they're divorced drug cartel AU krennic and galen in the cia/dea jyn smuggles or deals arms or something cassian is an undercover DEA agent cassian riding a horse, wearing a cowboy hat, smoking patron notices cassian is into jyn and 'gives' her to him "you're a lucky guy" thats just a nice way to say i want to fuck your girl jyn if you do this i can't protect you ive known these guys my whole life and you think you can get into this game for a couple months and i need you to protect me from them i dont mean from them cassian joserra jerome antonio anglés andrez after they settle down: oh where did you guys meet jyn: tinder // divorced soulmates when they meet jyn can tell its something special. she's been around the block enough to know that this one wasn't for messing around, that they meant too much to each other. cassian tamed her and she brought him to life and his friends were all supportive of course, relieved he had found some joy at last, that he finally had a reason to leave the office without putting in overtime more days of the week than not, a reason for brief smiles to stsrt escaping his serious outward demeanor. all they saw was cassian hiding a smile in a tumblr of mezcal st the bar with them, watching jyn dance with han and kes, twirling around them with smooth confidence as they tried not to trip on their own feet. how could it be anything but good? jyn knows cassian would never hurt her on purpose so she lets herself fall too easily, then slowly her life revolved around him. he occupied her throughts, her space, and she became nothing more than a part of cassian, his wife, as honoured and respectable as the role was she became suffocated with being introduced as his wife, people telling her what a great man her husband was, and she became defined by him, strangers assuming insight of her. when she leaves she finds herself all alone, realising all the friends she had were gifted to her by cassian, and the thought infuriates her. not at cassian, never at cassian, but at her past self for allowing this to happen, blind to painfully learned lessons to always have an escape route in sight, to rely on herself first and foremost. when she leaves, the pain is unbearable. she cries and she cries herself to sleep, and when she wakes up she's temporarily soothed her mind betraying her with the false sense that all the pain was just a bad dream and she would roll over and see cassian there, soft and warm and comforting and ready to hold her close and kiss the nightmare away. but the realisation came quick and she would be sobbing again. in the end it was only her stubborn pride that saved her the indignity of crawling back to him on her knees begging. or maybe it was the stone pit on her stomach that said you did this. you hurt him like this, and for what? how can you deserve to try and salvage what was perfectly good before you picked it up and smashed it on the ground just to see how the splinters would fall? when the fog of misery starts to fade though, she is relieved. even as she sits in her crappy, hole in the wall apartment, eating left over pizza for a undignified amount of times in a month, she is so relieved to be free. even if the AC keeps crapping out and she's sweating in February and bodhi has been the only other person to visit her apartment she is so relieved. her thoughts were her own again and she was so happy she could cry "jyn you will always be my family. you know that right?" she doesn't deserve it cassian walking barefoot in the shore wash at blue hour this pain wasn't unbearable but it was a unique brand of torturous. knowing exactly what she wanted was right in front of her, seeing it, touching it in soft polite embraces that lingered just on the dangerous end of perfunctory hellos and goodbyes. she's already had a taste of exactly everything she wants (not needs, not anymore, and that made the pain tolerable but a new unique brand of torturous), and she couldn't have it. she threw it all away. no regrets could be had, she would have never made it here without giving it up, but it certainly didnt help when they sat on the opposite ends of the friends spanning a bar counter and her attention still strayed from whatever kes was talking about to start at his lips, soft  from worrying at the glass tumbler in his hand, hearing the memory of the laugh she only watched escape from him in real life as it was lost in the din of the bar. "i forgave you for literally tearing my heart apart the first time, but as much of a masochist as i am, I can't give you permission to do it again. so what is it jyn?" "come on jyn. it doesn't take an idiot to see how much we still care about each other" their scars are the only soft and tender part on them, new and innocent skin next to hard won calluses cassian's ex wife meet first time when cassian gets backup for his mission huge sexual tension competence porn celebrating successful mission, cassian shoots his shot she reveals she used to be in intelligence "understand this captain andor. i have a lot of respect for what you do. it's horrid work but it needs to be done. matter of fact i started in intelligence. but the one thing i know, is the kind of person that can stand that line of work, the kind of person i was back then, thats not the kind of people i want to break bread with" she pulls rank on him despite him being older and more experienced. "in my branch you get promoted fast because you die fast" cassian was being pessimistic/realist sbout expected bad outcome but young recruit is horrified more massive sexual tension at a bar or something, she goes outside to make out with some rando guy, cassian follows her and chases him off and kisses her. not nice and tender, hatefuck in an alleyway but it's so hot doesn't see each other again fuck in a tent, fuck in the showers start to bond, see each other's honour and kindess. after a bad mission she's doubting herself, unable to sleep, cassian takes her to a secret vantage point. "sometimes i think i'm a dispicable person" "not to me" he kisses her "what, really here?" where they're in constant threat of being walked in on "no." they just make out and its tender snd loving and it scares her off and she avoids him for a while cassian gets captured and held in solitary confinement for months, mentally tortured, starved. tries to escape, gets punished. gets fucked up in the head. draven and elkie are the only one pushing to find him and break him out.  after cassian is found and returns to base he's a shell of himself, spooked, makes intense eye contact with elkie as he passes her but no aknowledgement of their signifigance to each other. after medical checks he's left alone and starts to panic, but before he freaks out fully, she comes into his room with shaving kit and a peach. she cuts a few slices for him to enjoy because hes not really allowed fruit, talks to him and shaves him as he heals she arranges for him to be put in a room with a chatty old soldier who keeps telling him old war stories, and visits him whenever she back on base. after a particularly bad mission. she crawls into his hospital bed in the middle of the night. after he's discharged, she sleeps with him whenever she can, calming him down after nightmares. one night he knows she's sleep deprived and needing to wake up early for important things the next day and tells her to stop sacrificing her sleep to help him. she's quiet before she asks if he is making her leave. he says no, so she just snuggles up to him. he realizes she prefers being woken up all night to sleeping without him. one say when cassian's feeling like he cant stand being amongst the people on the base in the mess hall, she brings him back to the vantage point to have lunch. they fuck but it's making love. something in between she gets captured and tortured. breaks leg. cassian rescues her. cassian cares for her in the immediate aftermath, she wakes up to him asleep in the hospital chair after he comes back from his own mission back on base, superiors want to send her off base to recuperate and get better PT, she really doesn't want to go, she knows she might never make it back and lose her nerve and her mind. their sleeping in cassian's bed and she admits this. he says there's desk work she can do on base. "married officers get first choice of postings" she's stunned by the insinuation "i need to know you arent whoring yourself out out of some misplaced need to take care of me. just because you slept with me a couple times doesn't mean i'm your responsibility." "i need to know you aren't... offering... out of convenience. just a loophole to help me out" "i'm not. i can't live without you anymore" they get married, she takes his name. captain andor and captain andor she drops off the grid for an extended period of time, she sees him in a crowd and he thinks she's a hostile, tries to take her down but she takes off her mask and goggles she dies in his arms CASSIAN'S LITTLE SISTER/DAUGHTER cassian's 16 she's 8, he saves her and has to babysit her for a while around rogue one she's 18 starting to do field work as an agent cassian as fulcrum is not nice or friendly but mentors her and takes care of her she just starts acting like a friend even though she has no reason to treat him like one bonds with jyn they go to each other when they're concerned about cassian, jyn tells her about a miscarriage, she tells jyn about PTSD she doesn't want to admit to cassian later as peace becomes more viable and cassian less cold and jaded, he starts to act like her family and at first it scares her off a bit she's hostile, says you don't have any right treating me like a child considering how you treated me in the past CASSIAN JYN F1 bodhi jyn both trained by legendary race strategist galen erso (betrays imperial team and orson krennic?) bodhi was trained to to compete and be great, jyn was thrown in and not expected by others to be a real competitor jyn joins f1 with saw gerrera's partisans, low midfield team, strapped for cash bodhi drives with his brain jyn drives with her gut bodhi tells her she can be truly great when she masters melding the thinking and control with her raw talent jyn podiums once and is over the moon but cassian isnt happy for her and she doesnt understand cassian says she doesnt understand racing yet, put herself on the line for revenge, had no way of knowing she was gonna survive her dirty trick and she only won when almost half the field retired calls her hotheaded and not ready cassian was an excellent ruthless driver, would drive dirty to make the win very good (champion?) gets into bad crash (jyn saves him?) and retires, join rebellion as race strategist cassian suggests jyn as new driver leia backs him up jyn helps cassian with his PT and tells him he doesn't have to put on a mask for her and he allows himself to show that he's in pain jyn falls asleep in cassian's hotel room and when he tucks her in she grabs him and they fall asleep together at a party after a good win jyn's tipsy and grabs cassian and starts singing and dancing in his face and cassian is laughing and loving every moment jyn's championship title comes down to the last race she gets a rough bump that physically takes a toll on her she has a good lead but she blows a tire and limps home (krennic gets on the radio somehow to try and break her confidence?) cassian: "do your best, bring her home. i'm right here jyn, I'm with you to the end. I'm not going anywhere" jyn wins a championship and retires she's proved herself after no one thought she would, defeated vader for a season she knows she doesn't have a strong chance of doing it again and wants to make room for luke and han so they don't join imperial F1 STORY young hotshot female driver gets put into falling from glory ferrari with him he used to be eyed as the next great talent but in a shit car he doesn't have any accomplishments to show and is starting to lose the hype and his drive to win she idolizes him, after a race where she does very well for a rookie and he delivers good but not great results, she goes into his driver's room and congratulates him on a good drive out of a need to assert control he fucks her he's trying to massage his own shoulder, she says here let me help, get close, talking, he turns to catch her eye and realises how close they are and kisses her fucks her on the desk, hot and dirty after their lustful scramble he comes back yo his senses and is a bit ashamed of what he's done kisses her on the forehead and leaves, saying see you tomorrow they keep hooking up throughout her rookie season, and spending time together in the public eye, her sweet genuine humorous personality tempers his steely cold and focussed persona and media and fans eat it up, everyone loves them as old gruff dude and young hotshot jokester duo two seasons like that as they grow closer there's a picture of him as a f1 rookie giving 14yo her a trophy forehead kisses become a meme she tells him what he already knows, he needs to jump ship from the team he loves in order to win he signs with a top three team as she continues to get more experience at their old team throughout the season they continue hooking up and hanging out in winter break they spend a lot of time with each other, to the point it seems like they're dating but theyve never discussed it he wins a world championship, realises the only person he wants to celebrate with is her she gets signed to a title contender team next time they hook up he's being a tender and says something commitment related she freezes up "what did you think this is" "yeah of course anyone would jump at the chance to fuck their idols, that doesn't mean their idols would be a good person to settle down with" "did u think i would fall in love with you just because i look up to you? im not some groupie. as if you weren't just taking advantage of me the first time, cheating on your girlfriend. im smart enough to know I'm not special, if you did it to her you certainly have it in you to do it to me" "i think we should stop doing this" breakup, theyre both heartbroken he feels betrayed, thinking the girl he's in love with just used him she doesn't want to admit she really did fall for him he gets signed to the same team as her the whole world is super excited to see their chemistry again but they're super cold, barely together, barely acknowledge each other press conference she blows off the question of whether she's excited to be teammates again he gets into tabloids rumored to be dating hot celebs they have a bad rivalry on the track fighting for positions gets double retirement and other bad things eventually he realises she only pushed him away out of self preservation and she mist have loved him to have done so much and cared for him the way she did he apologizes and asks her to give them a chance she's shocked but she agrees, but she says they shouldnt be together until the season is over cue sexual tension she misses him too much and he comes into her hotel room to get a fright shes in his bed and they cuddle she wins the championship after 5 years of being together and racing, he retires proposes to her, to the shock of the world

[retroandreal]

Trust Issues (Antonio x MC)

She’s back, baby!! Usual kinda fluffy, angsty fic in Antonio’s POV. This was inspired by the song ‘Trust Issues’ by Drake and I have been keeping the song on repeat for the longest time now cause... Drake’s voice is just honey butter. Also, I’m half Colombian so I saw this as a perfect opportunity to include some Spanish in it (just basic words and phrases, nothing too complex). I hope you all enjoy and I love every single one of you. Especially you; @official-alex-cyprin

Summary: Little snippets from Antonio’s route from Havenfall is for Lovers in his point of view; before meeting our sarcastic MC, revealing he is a vampire and the moment Eva was turned on the private beach

Warnings - mentions of blood and medical procedures

“I promise you, mi hermana. I am close to finding a cure for you”

MC; Havenfall. Not too far from the Indiana branch of DSD Corp. Tomorrow night, I go and seek this girl who holds the special blood to potentially save my precious Evita. For many life spans, I have worked tirelessly to find the miracle to save you and I have a feeling that I am very close with this woman in Havenfall. I have done everything to save you; my life, this company and many late nights all for you and I would do it again in a heartbeat and nothing with stop me from finding that cure for you… even if I have to kill for it.

All I care about is money and the city that I’m from

You never deserved any of this. If I had to give up my own life to save you, I would have done it many years ago. If I had to give up my sworn hermano and his own life, I would do so with no remorse. Every day, you’re slowly getting weaker and weaker and cannot bare to watch you frail away while I did nothing all those years ago. Diego, cabron, you are a doctor, yet you shy away from what was once the most important thing in your life all those years ago. Diego, I am coming for your city, and I will stop at nothing to get the blood of that girl to save Evita. If you were in my position, I know you would have done the same.

“Mierda… when did I get so hungry”

The mini fridge (or personal blood bank) was just restocked a few hours ago. One of the perks of working within the medical industry is the seemingly ethical sources of blood that I need. Regardless, I have been rationing the blood and volunteering them for Evita’s emergency source. It’s doing the job of keeping her vitals alive and breathing but I know that mortal, human blood is slowly poisoning her. There was a time where I would feed unforgivingly on other humans, back then. Not because I was insatiably hungry, but I was frustrated. Frustrated and angry at the world and I wanted to see the life slowly get sucked from it, just as Evita’s life is slowly sucked from her own.

I’mma sip until I feel it, I’mma smoke it till it’s done

I was young back then and full of rage. It was a temporary fixation and I don’t really give a fuck and my excuse was that I was young. I grew up, older and wiser… eventually. I started to look for a more permanent solution for Evita’s sickness hence why I and now CEO of DSD Corp.

“Grace… scholarship acceptee to the University of Indiana. Family; MC”

Grace, huh? Looks like I found my connection to Evita’s cure quicker than I anticipated.

“Well. My dear ‘Grace’, how do you fancy studying abroad in Spain?”

~~~~~

“Somebody should have told you, MC”

She’s trembling. A mixture of shock, awe and fear. She had just found out, through me, that her hometown and closest friends have been immortal monsters, and no one told her anything. What is this feeling? It’s not mine. Are these her projections of her anguish and feelings that I can feel as well? No, there has to be an explanation for this. I haven’t felt this sensation since Diego, Evita and I were altogether on the streets of Spain over a hundred years ago.

She turns to me. Now, I feel the anger radiating off of her body

“Is that why you paid for Grace to go to Spain on scholarship? Just so you could get to me. Fine, just kill me dammit! Tear me to pieces! I don’t know what your kind do!”

What is this feeling? She’s the one I am supposed to drain the life out of in order to save Evita. But I cannot simply bring myself to do so. Clueless is what she is. She knows nothing about this life or the vampire society. I offer her a middle ground;

“Say, MC. It appears that you are very mistaken of my needs and my vendettas. I am not here in Havenfall to kill you. Your friends, however, would be the one to tear ME to pieces if they ever found out I even harmed a single hair on you especially that djinn friend of yours.” She ponders over that thought and slowly agrees.

“Well, I guess you have a point there… Th-That doesn’t mean that I should trust you right away you know!” Tears well up in her eyes. Her icy blue orbs becoming glassy and she fails to keep her sobs at bay while she talks. “Grace is my only family… Antonio. Do you know what it feels like to have your only family taken away from you and you just feel helpless? Like you can’t do anything more, that they deserve even more than what you are capable of giving them?”

I do. I really do. I know she does not possess the same abilities as I do but I try to convey the most empathetic of feelings as I can.

“Her name is Evita, Eva if you would prefer. She’s dying, MC. The blood that I have been able to source for her has only been able to keep her vitals stable, but it’s not permanent. You’re special, MC. I need some of your blood to save her. Please?”

You’re the only one, I don’t trust these others

She shifts uncomfortably on the bar stool

“Ok, fancy me this. I can teach you all you need to know about the vampire society; the good and the bad in order to gain your trust for this. I will not keep secrets only if you ask me to, trato?”

Her beautiful blue eyes roll to the back of her head

You’ll know what I’m sippin’, I’ll teach you how to mix it

“You gotta stop with the Spanish spiels okay? I can barely speak English fluently and my kneejerk reactions usually consists of mono-syllable sounds. But, fine. I will help Eva for you. NOT because I am doing it for you. But because I have a sister too, and I would do anything for her. So, I guess I kinda know what your go is here. Like, we’re not that different you and I when it comes down to it.”

She looks down towards the tips of her bowling sneakers and plays with the frayed hem of her uniform

“You really love her… don’t you, Antonio?”

Now you’re understanding where I’m coming from, mi Salvador, so it will not take you long to realise that you will need to keep your promises for my livelihood, and Evita’s life… and your life too.

~~~~~

“Lillian, do it”

The powerful coven leader sinks her teeth into Evita’s flesh as she starts the controlled ritual of turning her, into one of us. No longer bonded by the blood of a third party, who was also draining the life of someone that used to trust me until they would breathe their last breath. She chose to be present for the turning of Evita, slightly overdressed for the beach location but nonetheless, she’s still here. Despite us not being connected by our bond, not together… I still love her and everything that she stands for. If it was not for her bravery, Evita would not have even been able to gain consciousness to even consent to her turning into someone like me. I was very against it at first, but I can never disregard the wishes of my baby sister. Despite us being ‘broken up’ and she put it, she still helped Evita, she knew it was slowly draining the life out of her; as far as her passing out from the amount of blood that had been sucked from her in order to keep Evita alive. But she never backed down or ran away. But she ran away from me. Because I am the monster that was selfish enough to strip her of her own freewill in order to keep her by my side.

“A-Antonio?”

“Evita! Mi hermana” I run to her side as she opens her eyes; coloured like the blood moon, just like me. I check over every inch of her body to make sure she isn’t bleeding from anywhere else besides the two puncture wounds in her neck. She is safe. Here. Alive. One of the most important women in my life is now safe. The long hours and billions of dollars funneled, hanging onto a thin string of hope that I can bring her back from her unconscious state.

I catch her in the corner of my eye, slowly sinking her body into the ocean. I let her be… until I feel a throbbing and burning sensation within my lungs. I can still feel her. No, I can once again feel her. Another localized pain radiates through me. Within my heart; a dull but hurting ache. She is hurting as much as I am. Being away from her. She agreed to stay friends for the sake of Evita but nothing more. I was the one that pushed her away in the first place, for her protection. But I acted like nothing more than a selfish bastard towards her and didn’t care about her own health.

You acting like somebody you don’t know

The burning ache in my lungs grows stronger; she’s losing oxygen!

I run towards the water, discarding my shoes on the way there and hastily sink my whole body into the warm water of the private beach. She slowly closes her eyes, engulfing her sight into a pit of darkness. I grab her wrist and cup her face with both my hands as we stay suspended in the warm water. She opens her eyes and looks right into mine. She’s hurting; because of me. I wanted to stay away to keep her safe, but I can see and feel that she is hurting. Was being friends not enough?

Tell me, how we supposed to stay friends when you got a bunch of feelings that you don’t show

No, I cannot simply “stay friends”

I feel that ache within my heart as well

You were the only one that opened their heart for me when I was desperate

Certain people don’t like me no more

I have never felt a touch as gentle as yours

I push everyone away, but you still managed to keep me hooked

You can look me in the eye and see that I ain’t myself

But you drive me crazy

You’re insatiable, but I want to keep pleasing you. Appeasing you

That’s the shit that drives me crazy

Because I have Trust Issues, I have never let anyone get as close to me as you have

But if you will allow me.

Let me keep you, and you for me.

Mi cielo.

Mi reina.

#havenfall is for lovers #lovestruck smut #lovestruck voltage #lovestruck #antonio vasquez #jordan davies #diego escalona #hifl #hifl mc #voltage hifl #razi nassar #vanessa helsing #mackenzie hunt

[thatoneitaliangirl]

Spain x Reader Angst(?)

Okay, so I was asked by this lovely person - @soiexist to write a Spain x Reader Angsty fic and I did my best! I don’t think it came out very angsty . . .  But I honestly tried! It was originally gonna be a ‘reader is in an arranged marriage but falls in love with someone else’ type thing but it kinda morphed into its own Kingdom! AU- ya know what, I’m just gonna let you read it, how about that? Also, apparently I’m incapable of writing anything less than 1,000 words, so  . . . Here’s a 7,124-word story! Hehe . . . 

Today had to be the most terrible day in the life of _____ _______. It marks the end of her life as she knows it.

"You can't do this to me, Dad! I'm not an object you can just sell off!" Her father sighs and places his head on his hands.

"I'm not selling you off! Can't you just do as I ask?" 

"As if I have the choice!" 

"_____," Her mother speaks kindly, attempting to calm her daughter. "Please, you know why we're doing this! It's for your family, can't you just do it for us? So we could have a better life?" _____ scoffs.

"Give you a better life while mine is over? Whatever happened to us sticking together through thick and thin? That no matter what, we'd get through things together?" The young woman asks, tears streaming down her face. 

"That was before the king threatened to take our farm! Without this land, our family will starve; your brothers and sisters will die! Please, _____ . . . We're begging you!" Her father gets down on his knees, grasping the bottom of his daughter's dress and pleads for her cooperation. _____ rips her dress from his hands and runs out of the door and into the woods. 

To think that her parents would even consider giving her away to save their farm! It's true that the girl's beauty had attracted many suitors, some offering more than just a healthy swine or a heard of bovine. Some offered money, buildings, and even other children for one of _____'s siblings, but every time her parents refused. They always said they would never sell the love of their daughter for the betterment of their lives. 

But now that it's the king, their suddenly all too keen on giving away the hand of their daughter. True, the farm was threatened, but they have the means to leave! _____ knows her father has money stashed away for an emergency, and losing the farm and having to flee the kingdom seems like a perfect emergency to _____! But her parents are getting older . . . And her siblings are too young to travel that far . . . 

Maybe she's being selfish? Leaning up against a tree, _____ stops to take a breath. Sobs rack through her body as she slides down to her knees and covers her eyes with her hands. She has no choice to comply with her parent's and king's wishes . . . Even if she were to go on the run, disobeying the king would make her a fugitive, and Lord knows what he'd do to her family while she was gone.

"Hola! Are you okay?" A cheerful and concerned male voice startles her.

"Uh-um, I  . . . " The man before her is the most beautiful man she has ever seen. His short brown hair lays against his face perfectly, his olive-green eyes sparkle in the sunlight, and his smile somehow conveys both happiness and concern at the same time. 

"It's okay, chica. I don't bite!" He chuckles and leans up against the tree next to her. 

"I'm . . . I'm not sure if I can talk about it . . ." 

"Well, that's okay then. How about you just tell me why it makes you upset?" _____ is in utter shock at how this man is talking to her. Most men around here usually couldn't care less about a woman's trivial feelings, but he is actually taking the time to talk to her . . . Then again, he doesn't seem to be from around here.

"I'm afraid . . . " She finally admits, making the strange man frown.

"I'm sorry to hear that! A beautiful woman such as yourself should never have to feel afraid." _____ blushes at the compliment, suddenly very shy. It's true that she's been called beautiful before, but never has she been so by a man like him. She may be the pretty girl of the village, but that isn't saying much. When compared to the royals and nobles, she is as ugly as dirt! This man is as beautiful as a summer sunrise and as bright and cheerful as one too. 

"My circumstances are unfortunate. But I've been slowly coming to terms with it and have accepted that I . . . Have no choice." A pregnant silence falls between the two as the bird's chirp and the wind blows through the trees. Her tears have long since dried, and the redness has faded, but the depression of possibly never seeing her family again still weighs heavy on her heart. 

"What is your name, chica?" She smiles slightly, happy to tell him. He may be the last man she gets to have a conversation with outside of the court.

"It's _____. _____ _______."

"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl! I am Antonio Fernández Carriedo, but you can call me Toni since we're friends now!" _____ laughs and nods her head.

"Okay, Toni. Thank you for being my friend." A shout in the distance alerts both of them and they stand up. Distant yells of _____'s name are heard, bringing a frown to her face. If only she had a little more time . . .

"It seems this is where we part, friend." She speaks solemnly, hands ringing together. 

"It looks like it, chica. But I'll see you again, I'm sure of it!" With those parting words, he walks deeper into the forest, the green foliage swallowing him up. 

A few days later, _____ finds herself in her chambers, sulking. It seems the reason the king wanted her was because of some sick goal to have the prettiest woman of each village at his disposal. There were some twenty of them, all forced or sold to the king with barely any hesitation. They range from 26 all the way down to 14, all that was considered to be the prettiest. 

And it doesn't seem he wants them for reasons other than to be trophy wives to show off at formal events and to other kingdoms. Only one of the girls claims he made a pass at her while he was drunk one night, but after her instance of staying virtuous, he backed off. He has the reputation of a gentleman, but taking women from their families shows a little contradiction to that. 

With a heavy sigh, _____ decides it's best to retire for the night. Each girl has their own room in the old maid quarters with a small lantern and a large window. She heard a rumor by one of the younger girls that the reason they stopped using these rooms for the maids was that the windows were too big and they would jump out to kill themselves . . . She shivers at the thought.

With the sunlight streaming in through the window, _____ closes her eyes and begins to drift off.

'Tap!'

'Tap!'

She stirs, slowly slipping into her dreams.

'Tap!' 

'Tap!'

Opening her eyes, _____ glares at the ceiling. What is that blasted tapping?! She sits up, listening closely.

'Tap!'

'Tap!'

'Tap!'

Looking over to the window, _____ discovers the tapping is coming from little rocks hitting her window. Confused, she walks over and looks out. Standing on the grass below, a figure is barely visible in the darkness bending over for more pebbles. 

"Excuse me, sir," _____ begins, opening the window. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"_____!" An accented voice speaks out. 

"Antonio? What are you doing here?" He laughs joyously.

"I told you I'd see you again, chica! I came to talk to you!" Dumbfounded,  _____ smiles. 

"Well, I'm sorry to inform you that your wish to speak with me is impossible. The palace is heavily guarded; how you even managed to get this far is astonishing." 

"I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?" He says with a smug smile. Its true he isn't wrong . . . But a conversation in these conditions is not practical.

"Can you honestly hold a conversation like this where you're from?" He laughs.

"Maybe if you'd let me up, we could talk like normal people, chica?" 

"And how exactly would you like me to help you up here? The side entrances are locked after dark and the halls one this side are always guarded." 

"I could climb?" _____ scoffs.

"Two stories? If you want to fall and die, then by all means." He rubs his hands together and begins scaling the wall.

"Wh-What?!" She shouts, surprised. She didn't think he was stupid enough to actually do it!

"Ah, be quiet, chica! You don't want to wake up the whole palace!"

"Antonio, are you insane?!" She whispers yells, attempting to not wake up the rest of the girls.

"Insane about you!" He smirks as a deep blush spreads across her face. He makes his way all the way up to her window and stops, hands holding on the windowsill, face inches from hers.

"You know, chica, your eyes are very pretty. I could stare into them for hours." Her blush deepens as she melts at his compliment. 

"Th-Thank you, Toni. I never thought they were anything special." He reaches out and brushes some hair behind her ear, gazing into her eyes lovingly.

"Everything about you is special. I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on you." Completely mesmerized by the look in his eyes, _____ begins to slowly lean in, as does Toni. 

"_____, I- Ah!" Toni's foot slips and he falls to the ground, landing on his back with a thump.

"Toni?!" With a cough and a laugh, Toni slowly raises his hand to give a thumbs up. 

"I survived by your love, chica!" 

"What?" She says laughing. 

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" She bursts into laughter, Toni joining her from down below.

"I suppose the rumors aren't true, then." She giggles. 

This goes on for months. Every night, Antonio shows up to her window, climbing up the wall and even entering her chambers. They sit and talk for hours, just simply enjoying each other's company until _____ falls asleep. Not that Antonio minds. It gives him an excuse to take in her blissful and stress-free features. 

While awake, she's constantly plagued with thoughts of her family and what the king has planned for her and the girls. She tells him of her plans for escape if the time ever calls for it, and how she tries to take care of the younger girls that often break down. He admires her outspokenness and her caring personality. 

During their talks, _____ found out that Antonio was from a neighboring kingdom that was on the brink of war with her own. His family came by horse through the woods and have been living there for the past year, surviving off nature and living in secret.

 When she found that out, she tried convincing him to stop visiting her in fear that he could be killed, but he refused. He insists that a night without seeing her beautiful face is like a hundred years of torture. She finds it very romantic, but she still worries. He tells her about his family and how close they are despite their dysfunctionality. 

And as the nights go by and Antonio continues to visit, _____ falls more and more in love with him. 

Hearing the soft tapping at her window, a smile spreads to her face as she runs over and opes it. 

"Toni?"

"Of course, chica! Who else would it be?" He climbs up, a smile spread ear to ear, and grabs both of her hands in his.

"_____, I can't stay for long tonight, so I'm going to have to say this quick." 

"Okay?" 

"My family and I have to leave tomorrow night to go back to our Kingdom." _____'s eyes go wide and her hands tighten around his.

"What? Why?" She begins to panic, but Antonio shushes her.

"It's okay! I want you to come with me!" 

"Go with you . . . ? But, what about-"

"Your family will be fine. And so will the other girls! You just have to trust me! Have I ever failed you before?" It's true that he's kept every promise he's ever made to her, no matter how little. But this seems just a little too far fetched. 

"I do trust you, Toni-"

"Then you'll come with me, right?" He looks at her with begging eyes; he always has so much emotion in those eyes . . . His deeps pools of olive green shine in the moonlight beaming through her window and pull her in, mind and soul.

"Yes." The answer falls from her lips before she can stop herself and Antonio pulls her into a tight hug. 

"Thank you! I can't wait for you to meet my family! And I can't wait to meet your's! We're going to have a big wedding with lots of food and everybody will be there!" He pulls back, still holding her in his arms.

"And I will love you till the end of my days." A tap at the window startles both of them and he lets go. 

"That's my brother," He opens the window and waves down, climbing out and holding on to the sill. "There's still more I have to help with, but be ready tomorrow at the same time as usual. I will be there to get you." He begins to climb down but _____ stops him.

"Promise?" He smiles softly and nods.

"I wouldn't leave you here for all the tomatoes in the world, chica." 

The next morning comes and _____ is overly nervous. She goes about her day like normal; breakfast with the king, etiquette lessons with the girls, a walk around the palace gardens. But when she gets to lunch, the king doesn't seem to be there. It's normal for him to be gone by lunch some days, usually for business, but he always gives a heads up the day before. The other girls are quiet and the staff are trembling as she sits down at her usual spot.

"If you don't mind me asking,-"

"The whereabouts of the king are none of your business, child!" Mrs. Baker, the head of the palace staff, states harshly. She never was one to be nice to the girls, mainly _____ for speaking out, but her rude tone is certainly uncalled for. But even though _____ would normally talk back, she bites her tongue. Something about all of this is not sitting right with her.

After lunch, _____ and the rest of the girls are sent to their chambers early and are told not to leave. Her heart thumps in her chest as she packs up her bags for later when Antonio comes. She only takes little things, wanting to stay light on her feet in case they get caught by guards. But her mind keeps racing about what could be going on today. 

She lays back on her bed and sighs. She worries about what the king will do to her family when he finds that she's gone. Will he torture them? Or will he kill them painlessly? Antonio did say not to worry about it, but it's hard not too. He's just one man, he can't protect his family and hers at the same time! She'll have to ask him about it when they leave and are safely off the palace grounds. And so, she waits.

And waits.

And waits.

The clock strikes midnight and Antonio is still nowhere to be seen. Every little tap or ting at her window makes her jump up, expecting her love but only getting disappointment instead. She waits for hours, finally seeing the light of the morning sun break through the clouds, and there was no sign of Antonio. 

Did he forget about her? That was simply impossible! He's come every night for the past four months! There's no way. Perhaps something happened and his brothers and he had to leave early? But he still would have tried something to tell her . . . Tears stream down her face as the worst-case scenarios float through her head. 

She only manages to dry her tears, when a guard knocks on her door and informs her she and the rest of the girls are needed in the throne room. The only times she's ever been in the throne room has been for social gatherings with nobles or parties. Other than that, the girls aren't allowed anywhere near there.

_____ changes her dress and fixes her hair before being escorted by a guard. The other girls also come out of their rooms, one by one being taken to the throne room.

There, sitting in all his glory is King Arthur, legs crossed and thick eyebrows knitted together in a frown.

"You may be wondering why I've called you all here," He speaks, ringed fingers tapping against the gold armrest of his throne. 

"And why I seem to be . . . Less than pleased." His emerald eyes scan across the girls, each one refusing to make eye contact. 

"It has come to my attention that one of you is a traitor." The girls all gasp and look at each other, confused as to why one of the others would do something like that. It's true that they all hated being there, but to defy the king in such a way could lead to death. 

"Yes, yes, it's all very shocking! But, unfortunately, it's true. One of your sisters has gone against the crown!" He smiles wickedly as he switches his crossed legs, signaling the guards to the door.

"But, I am a gentleman after all, and I'm willing to forgive you under one condition," The guards come in with a man. His hands are tied behind his back and a burlap sack is placed over his head. The guards make him fall to his knees in front of the king, hurting him in the process.  "You come forward, pledge your mind . . . and body, to me, and make yourself useful by telling me of all the things you've done with this man,"

 He gestures to the man on the floor in front of the girls. "Of course, if you don't, I have plenty of ways to make you talk." The sack is ripped from the man's head, making _____'s heart stop. Sat there on his knees is Antonio, bloodied and bruised, lip busted and hair splayed across his sweating face. He looks up at the king and smiles.

"Ahh, Arthur! Long-time, so see, eh?" Arthur frowns and rolls his eyes.

"Don't talk to me as if you know me, Antonio. You and that frog Francis can die in a pit of Hellfire!" Arthur grits his teeth as Toni just chuckles. 

"You won't be laughing for long!" The king looks at the guard, and he hits Antonio in the face with his metal-covered hand making _____ cringe. She wants nothing more than to run over to him and stop his pain, but she knows that if she does, she could possibly die. The guard continues to beat on the Spaniard, blood from his wounds splattering on the floor. A few more hits and Arthur raises his hand making the guard halt his movements.

"So, you won't reveal yourself? What, does seeing this man here get beat because of you not make you feel sorry? You truly are a worthy spy." He lifts up his scepter in the air dramatically, before smirking like the devil and pointing it at the youngest girl, Marcy. Her eyes widen to the size of saucers as she's pulled towards the king by a guard. She tries to protest, but she's thrown onto the lap of Arthur and held there by the sick man. He runs his fingers through her golden blond curls and lays his head on top of hers as his other arm wraps around her waist to hold her still.

"Ah, young Marcy. You truly are the definition of innocence . . . " His fingers stroke the outline of her chin making her tremble in fear. Her young, cherub-like features are the reason she was seen as one of the prettiest and her golden hair and ocean blue eyes made her absolutely stunning. But she's just a kid. A scared kid that has become something of a little sister to _____. Arthur looks back at the rest of the girls and glares.

"Come forward now," In the blink of an eye, Arthur tilts her head back and holds a jewel-studded dagger to her neck. "Or she dies." He presses it harder as he looks across at all the girls making _____'s lip tremble. She could never live with herself of Marcy died because of her! 

"One," Arthur begins the countdown, eyes staring hard at the girls.

"Two," _____'s eyes begin to water and her mouth goes dry seeing Marcy cry for help and beg for her life.

"Three-"

"Wait!" _____ yells out, stoping the king from slicing the young girl's neck open. He smirks, dropping Marcy to the ground and placing his dagger back into its holder. Marcy scrambles to her feet and runs into the arms of another girl, balling her eyes out.

"It's me! I'm the one that has been seeing Antonio!" Toni's head falls hearing _____'s voice speak out. The king sticks out his pointer finger and wiggles it in a 'come here' fashion. 

"You are very brave to defy me, _____." She stands before him, face hard and eyes glaring.

"Take Ms. _______ here to my chambers. And take that blasted Spaniard out of my sight!" Both are grabbed by guards and taken away through different doors. _____ cringes at the tight grip the guard has on her upper arm and pulls away.

"Let go of me, you bastard!" 

"You kiss your mother with that mouth, bella?" _____ scoffs and crosses her arms as the guard pushes her forward.

"Keep walking." She glares at the ground in front of her as she walks in the direction of the king's chambers, but her resolve is slowly crumbling. What is this man going to do to her? This sick and twisted individual who would buy women and scare a child just to get what he wants? Who would torture a man without any proof of him being a traitor?

But wait . . . She doesn't know that. What if he does have evidence? She knows Antonio and his family are from a kingdom on thin ice with her own, but he never told her why he was here. And if that's the case, does that mean he was just using her to get inside details of the palace? She pretty much told him everything about her day every night. 

He knows her routine to a tee and therefore knows the kings aswell. He told her that he loves her . . . Was that just a lie? The large doors to Arthur's bedroom are opened in front of her and a stunning bed covered in green and gold sheets is displayed before her. If she wasn't so scared, she'd be in awe at the amazing and comfortable site.

"This is your stop, bella," He nudges her inside and begins to close the door. "And if you happen to want to see  . . . The traitor . . . He's in the dungeon under the palace. I'm sure you know the way." With that, he closes the door and leaves _____ to wonder about the large room. 

It's very luxurious and expensive-looking, with extravagantly painted walls and gold-lined curtains.

Royal robes for all occasions are lined up on mannequins along a back wall and a large portrait of the king hangs on the wall above a fireplace.

"You like what you see, love?" _____ jumps, quickly spinning around to be face to face with the king. She didn't even hear the ruler come in! He laughs at her surprise, and steps closer.

"I'm sorry to have startled you, _____, but you looked so in awe at my chambers. I couldn't bear taking that away from you!" _____ rolls her eyes.

"Get to the point. Why did you send me here and not the dungeons?" He smirks, leaning up against a wall.

"Fiesty. You never dared to talk to me like this before, _____. What has that traitor put in your head that would make you betray your own king?"

"Nothing. I never betrayed you or sold any information," Her eyes soften and she takes a few breaths to stop herself from tearing up. "I'm in love with him!" Arthur's eyes go wide.

"You love him? Well, isn't this a surprise," He walks forward, grabbing her arm and throwing her on the bed. "You love that man, but does he love you?" The king laughs at her confusion, taking off his crown and placing it on a bedside table.

"Antonio doesn't care about you! He saw that you were a gullible and naive little girl, and used you to get information so he could de-throne me," Tears begin to stream down the young woman's face as she backs up on Arthur's bed. "You fell for his charms, as they all do, and you actually believed him? What, did he tell you you were going to run away together? That all your problems would be solved and you could live happily ever after like some damn fairytale?" She nods, sobs escaping through her mouth.

"Well guess what? He played you like a guitar and what do you have to show for it? A broken heart and the label of a traitor? I've known Antonio for a very long time, love, and trust me when I tell you that you are nothing more to him than a source of information that fell right into his lap!" _____ completely breaks down. She can barely see through her tears as her body desperately tries to breathe in through the sobs. 

She doesn't want to believe what Arthur is telling her, but the more she thinks about it, the more it makes sense. It couldn't have been just a coincidence they met that day in the forest. And how did he know where to find her that first night he visited? Puzzle pieces begin to get put together that _____ has pushed in the back of her mind for so long, that she just can't take it. Her heart is breaking . . . How could she have been so blind? Arthur sighs and pats her on the head.

"I understand, love. It's hard to take in. But I'll help you through these troubling times," Running his hands through her hair, he soothes her and uses his thumbs to clear away her tears.

"I will help you get your revenge."

_____ gently tip-toes through the dark halls of the palace using only the light of the moon to get through. That strange guard mentioned that Antonio was in the dungeon under the castle, so that is where she's headed. Fortunately for her, she knows exactly where the dungeon is due to some curious exploring one Saturday. 

It wasn't very hard for her to sneak out of the king's chambers since his snoring was obnoxiously loud. She just had to time it with opening the door. The king insisted that she sleep in his room for the night to 'help ease her grieving soul' despite her insistence on sleeping in her own room. She's just glad he had a cot brought in. 

Slowly turning the nob on the door, _____ creeps into the main hall of the dungeon, careful to not wake the sleeping guards against the wall. With a gulp and some light steps, she walks down the hall looking into each cell for a mop of brown waves. Finally, around the corner, she comes across a cell with a man sitting in the corner facing the wall.

"Antonio?" _____ whispers while grabbing the bars to the cell. His head lifts up and slowly looks towards her, a mixture of relief and sadness falling over his usually happy face.

"_____?!" He gets up as fast as he can and limps over to her. Tears begin falling over both of their cheeks.

"I thought he was going to kill you, ______! You have no idea how worried I've been!" _____ reaches through the bars and places her hand on his swollen and bruised cheek.

"What did they do to you, Toni?" He smiles, wincing, and laughs lightly.

"You think you could still love me after a few scars?" 

"You could be the ugliest person in the world and I'd still love you, Toni." 

"You're not giving me much confidence, chica." She laughs at his stupid joke, but frowns, pulling her hand back much to Toni's disappointment.

"I need you to be honest with me, Antonio." He nods, grabbing onto the bars next to her hands.

"Did you use me?" His eyes go wide at the acquisition.

"What? No! . . . Okay, maybe in the beginning." Her frown deepens to a glare.

"But here me out! Please, chica?" She sighs and nods, her heart thumping hard due to her anxiety. She desperately wants what Arthur said to not be true, but here Antonio is, basically confirming. 

"When I first met you, I knew why you were crying."

"Is that the girl, Antonio?" I nod, confirming to my brother. I had overheard the other day what the king's royal advisor asked of them. How he could ever ask such a thing is beyond me! But this just confirms what our sources said about him. He's a sick individual. He's been threatening our kingdom for a long time now, and since we're smaller we've been too scared to do anything. But thanks to our sources, we were given leeway into the kingdom through the woods. This girl could be very valuable to us given her new position in the palace. I'm sure she must want some type of payback.

"Okay. I'll talk-"

"No, you shouldn't." I cut my brother off.

"What? And why the Hell not, huh? Do you think I'm incompetent?!" I shake my head and laugh at my little brother.

"No, no! I'd never think that, Lovi! You just have a bad habit of being scary to people. I think this chica needs a more gentle approach." He rolls his eyes at me. He's so adorable; he hasn't changed a bit since he was a kid!

"Fine. And don't call me that!" He whisper-yells to me as I walk over to her. 

Talking with her was like listening to the wind rustle through the flowers. She talks so gently and sweet for a girl who's been crying . . .

After meeting her, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was so nice and so pretty! I see her every day when we stake out the palace. She and the other girls look so miserable, all because of this twisted king! I want so bad to walk up to them and let them know that everything is going to be okay, but that would ruin the mission.  _____ goes to bed every night at the same time. She just might be willing to talk to me. I did promise to see her again, after all! 

Picking up some pebbles from the flower bed bellow her window, I toss them up until she eventually opens the window. She squints her eyes, yelling lowly to me from her window. She's absolutely gorgeous! I begin to climb up the wall, much to her surprise and laugh at her shock. She cares about me! And the blush on her face is adorable! My family is known for being flirty, so it always comes naturally to me. But what I'm saying to her isn't just flirting, and it's strange to me how a girl I barely know could have such an effect on me.

Face only a few inches from her, I gaze into her big, beautiful eyes in wonder. This girl is amazing.

After that night, I visit her every night and we talk till morning. I never even asked her to help me, but all the information she's told me has become useful. I feel terrible about doing this to her, but when everything is over, _____ and I won't ever have to see each other in secret again.

We've finally come to the end of the road. Everything is in place, and our plan is set to be executed tomorrow. But now I have to tell _____ to wait up for me one last night so I can take her away . . . I hate lying to her, but it's the only way to do things in order for our plan to work.

Walking back with my brother to our campsite in the woods, I'm alerted to a noise behind us. I stop my brother, focusing on where the noise could be coming from, but I am struck in the back of the head with something hard. 

"The last thing I remember after that is waking up in this cell," Antonio looks _____ in the eyes as tears well up in his.

"I swear to you, _____, I love you. I never meant to hurt you in any way." She sniffles, letting go of the metal bars separating Antonio and herself.

"I believe you, Toni . . . Even though his words hurt me, I refused to accept them. Not until I could talk to you," She pulls out a folded piece of paper from her dress, holding back sobs as she hands it to him.

"But that man; he thinks I'm on his side . . . He told me that he wants to help me." Confused and concerned, Antonio takes the paper from her hands and reads it.

'At nine o'clock tomorrow morning, the traitor known as Antonio Fernández Carriedo will be beheaded in a private execution to pay for his crimes against King and Country. May God have mercy on his soul.' 

"I tried to convince him otherwise, but he refused to listen to me. I'm sorry, Toni." He looks up at her and smiles confidently. 

"There's no need for tears or apologies, chica. But I do need you to do something for me." 

"Anything!" He pulls her close to whisper in her ear and her eyes widen.

The next day, _____ awakens with a sour taste in her mouth. All last night, she was up preparing her self for the execution of her beloved. What he asked her to do was insane! After all, it will only delay the inevitable and get them both killed in the process! Maybe she was just blinded by her love for the man, but even so, she had to do it. For Toni's sake. 

Freshening up, she takes a deep breath and heads to the throne room where all of this will take place. She's heard stories of how evil this king is, taking the lives of men in the marble-floored throne room where his status and power were displayed in front of all. A big power move of anyone, and disrespectful to kings and queens past, but Arthur doesn't seem to care. After all, he's not the one having to clean it all up in the end.

Getting closer and closer to that dreaded room, _____ can hear the sound of hushed conversations and shaking voices from behind the golden door. A guard opens it for her and she enters, taking her place among the girls she's grown to call 'sisters.'

The voices stop, the rest of the girls and court confused having thought _____ was killed by the king for her betrayal. It's true, she and everybody else thought she was a goner the moment she came forward. But this man . . . He has a way of toying with people's lives . . . 

"Hello, _____! Sleep well, love? When I woke up this morning, you weren't there . . ." He gives her a pouty face, laughing at the confusion on the faces of everyone. She refuses the urge to scowl and glare at him, putting on a forced smile.

"I simply felt out of place, my lord. I went back to my own chambers." He crosses his legs and 'tsks' at me.

"How rude of you, _____! Though I suppose it's alright, given the circumstances." Swinging his scepter around, he calls a guard over and whispers in their ear.

"Today, a long-time enemy of mine will finally meet his end," The guard comes back with Antonio, placing him on his knees in front of Arthur. The king smiles wickedly at the man in front of him and turns his attention to _____.

"Come here, love. Stand next to me." 

"As you wish, my lord . . ." She gulps, slowly and cautiously walking up to the king, past Toni, and stands next to Arthur's seated form.

"It is truly sad to see someone so apposed to my rule that he'd go out of his way to break a young girl's heart. Unforgivable! What do you have to say for yourself, Antonio?" Toni looks up from the floor and into _____'s eyes.

"I'd do it all over again if it meant falling in love with _____ one more time." He smiles at her as tear well up in _____'s eyes. Arthur scoffs at Antonio's words and stands from his seated position.

"As if! You traitors only care about one thing and that's yourselves!" He grabs his sword from a nearby guard and turns toward _____.

"Don't listen to a word this evil man speaks, my love. It's nothing but lies!" Pulling his sword from its holder, Arthur steadies himself.

"Any last words, Antonio?" Toni smiles cheerfully at the man and winks at _____.

"I love you, _____." Arthur raises his lip in a scowl and raises his sword above Antonio's head to strike down with anger-filled eyes. As fast as she can, _____ slides a small kitchen knife from her sleeve and slices Arthur's hand, making him drop the blade and cry out in pain. The guards immediately move in towards _____ but are stopped as men in similar but differently colored armor force their way in and disarm them in a matter of seconds. 

"What is the meaning of this?!" Arthur shouts as two guards wearing the normal uniform grab hold of him and take off their helmets. 

"I knew we could do it!~" The lighter haired one speaks, practically beaming with pride.

"I can't believe we actually pulled this off." The tanner and darker-haired one states.

Antonio, untied, walks up to _____ and puts an arm around her shoulder, pointing to the two similar-looking guards holding the flailing king.

"These are my brothers, Lovino and Feliciano! Aren't they handsome? But don't go getting any ideas; you're my hermoso ángulo!" She laughs, though super confused. 

"Aren't you the guard from last night? The one that told me where to find Toni?" Loving blushes and coughs into his hand. 

"Yeah, so what? You also called me a bastard, which I haven't forgotten about, ragazza!"

 A loud bang at the entrance of the room sounds as a man laughing loudly walks through the gold plated doors. His red hair spikes every which way as he and two other men walk through. They all look similar to Arthur due to their abnormally large eyebrows, but they all carry themselves in a more relaxed manner than the king.

"Ha! Would you look at yourself now, Artie? Seems like all that power went right to your wee pea brain!" The loud man walks over to the restrained Arthur and flicks him on the forehead.

"Mum and dad must be rolling in their graves at what you've made this kingdom become. You should be ashamed of yourself!" Antonio tightens his grip on _____'s shoulder to reassure her and ease her nerves. 

"These are Arthur's brothers." The darker redhead in a blue uniform walks up to the two and grabs _____'s hand, shaking it heartily.

"You must be the lass Toni was telling me about! I've gotta say, without your help, we probably wouldn't have gotten the kingdom back!"

"Back?" He nods enthusiastically.

"Yes! I was next in line for the throne after out father died, but somehow the sneaky little bastard over there managed to take it right out from under me. Toni here has been helping us get it back!" _____ looks up at him.

"So, their the ones that gave you guys leeway into the kingdom!" He nods.

"Alistair and I have been friends for years! When Arthur became king, he made it very clear to me that my kingdom was hanging from a frayed knot! I needed to do what was right for my kingdom and that meant helping out my dear friend personally." Alistair pats Toni on the back with a huge smile.

"Now that I'm in charge, your people don't have to be worried anymore. And you can go back to sipping wine and playing guitar on that throne of yours! Nice meeting you, _____!" He walks back over to his brothers, waving at Arthur as he's carried away by guards, swinging his arms around and trying to break free. _____ takes a look around at all the people surrounding her. The men in the court are being taken away, probably to be questioned about their loyalty, and the girls are all smiling and happy as they talk to Alistair's men. 

"Their all going to go home to their families, chica." He smiles down at her but it quickly changes to a sad frown.

"The only question I have for you is if you want to go back too." Tapping her chin in thought, _____ smiles up at him teasingly.

"I don't know. The goat farmer down the street from our farm did offer free cheese for life. What exactly can you offer for my hand?" Antonio laughs, wrapping his arms around her.

"A castle on a hill with a beautiful garden and plenty of animals."

"Hmmm. How about a kiss?" He pulls her closer, face inches from his as he slowly leans in.

"I would give you the world if I could." _____ laughs and pulls him closer, smashing their lips together and finally kissing the love of her life. It's not the most sophisticated or beautiful kiss, but its everything the two could ever imagine.

"I love you, _____."

"I love you too, Antonio."

#APHSpain #Spain #Hetalia #Hetalia x reader #Spain x reader #Hetalia fic #Fanfiction #Hetalia fanfiction #x reader

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The 100 6x12 "Adjustment Protocol" Review

Hello friends, it’s good to see you all again! I’m happy to be sharing my thoughts with you in this form again. Tonight I’m reviewing episode 6x12 of The 100 “Adjustment Protocol”, written by Kim Shumway and directed by Antonio Negret. I found myself underwhelmed by the season’s lead-in to the finale episode and I’m detailing why below! 

The Good

1. Eliza’s Exceptional Encore

Eliza Taylor has been on it this season. She’s been given extremely meaty scenes and she keeps blowing them out of the water. Clarke has been through so much lately and I am always excited to see what Eliza brings to the material she’s been given. The last few episodes have perhaps been some of the most challenging in her career and she’s been phenomenal in each of them. This episode was particularly tough for her, having to vacillate between Clarke playing Josephine, to Clarke listening to her daughter’s crazed rants and having to hide her tears, to Clarke experiencing the grief of realizing that her mother is dead and having to camouflage it so that her Josephine cover remains intact — and her friends remain alive. I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her when she broke down, because the girl has been through it!

For several seasons it’s been easy to debate about Clarke being a “worthy” hero because her actions don’t often line up with what we’ve been trained to expect of heroes. She is always ready and willing to make the tough choices, to kill whoever needs to be killed to save her people, to reach into the darkest parts of her own soul to make sure that other people don’t have to. This season Clarke has been unwilling to compromise on the promise she made to Monty’s memory. The promise to “do better” is layered in everything that she does and everything that she says. If last season was about the development of Bellamy into a “fully realized” leader, this has been that season for Clarke and she is extraordinary. 

I do find myself concerned about what Abby’s death will mean for Clarke’s determination to be different. It would be so easy to fall back into her old patterns, to lash out and turn her rage to all of the inhabitants of Sanctum (including innocents) instead of just on Russell who rightly deserves it. I’m hoping that she turns to her friends for support in this moment (and in the future) because heaven only knows that she’ll need them to get through this and I believe that perhaps that will be one of the biggest pluses of this season. With all of the crimes her friends laid at her feet this season, after watching Clarke go through so much and consciously continue to “do better”, I hope that we come through this with them realizing how much Clarke has done for everyone, often at her own expense. She’s a hero and she deserves to be treated as such. 

The Bad

1. Men Ruin Everything (Especially Female Television Characters)

In a rather shocking (not!) development, Dr. Abigail Griffin has joined the ranks of deceased characters even as her body continues to walk among the living. It’s been clear to me since Season 4 that Abby and Kane didn’t have long for this world, with Kane’s Season 4 quote, ”The youth will inherit the Earth”, playing a huge part in my thought process. I expected Abby to die that season, due to the problems she was suffering post A.L.I.E., but thanks to Raven’s genius (and Kane’s unwillingness to let her walk out of the bunker) she lived to fight another season. I expected Kane to die in Season 5 after he was attacked mercilessly by the cannibal Vinson and yet he survived those wounds as well. For some, that was a relief but I personally found myself confused and after tonight’s episode (and, in all honesty, their treatment all season) that confusion continues. Instead of being treated with the gravity that main character deaths deserve, both felt unceremonious and rather rushed, but at least Kane received a hero’s death. 

Abby’s story has grated on my nerves from the moment she first appeared in Season 5 with a drug addiction that was second only to her addictive obsession to Kane. Prior to Season 5, Abby’s story involved Kane but did not revolve around him. After that, all bets were off and Abby was only capable of caring about one person and that person was Kane. Everything she did in Season 5 and Season 6 up to and until Kane’s death served one person: Marcus Kane. Abby, a mother, a grandmother and one of only two qualified doctors for all of the people aboard the Eligius ship, became nothing more than a pawn on a romantic chessboard. She, like so many women on this show once they become romantically involved, became nothing more than a support for the man in her life. Even her death, which should be a hugely pivotal moment for this season, as Abby is the only mother of the original 100 we have any connection with, became wrapped up in the irony of what she’d done only three episode prior to save Kane. 

I believe that it also says quite a bit about how this show (which features women quite heavily) understands feminism. It is tragically horrific to kill a woman only a few episodes after killing her male love interest. It sends a message, even if unintentional, that she is only worth keeping around as long as her man is there, too. Abby’s arc could have been finished well in the closing scenes of Season 4, it could even have worked in the mid-season finale of Season 5, but after giving her a drug addiction (which she had not completely conquered), showcasing the absolutely insane lengths she was willing to go to save Kane (which she was not given time to properly “learn” from), it was clear that Abby still had some growth left in her. Unfortunately, it’s a story we’ll never get to see. 

In addition, the lead in to Abby’s death was painfully obvious. They needed to make 6 hosts, they only had 5 bodies. After making herself an obvious threat to Russell, Abby made herself a nightblood (“Like mother, like daughter”, says Jackson in the background for additional foreshadowing) and she’s in just the right age range to be suitable to host a 50-year-old man’s wife — unlike Ash (aka: Echo). She makes up with Raven in a rushed moment and conveniently learns that Clarke isn’t as dead as she thought she was — all in an effort to “finish” her storyline. As she dies, we’re treated to Raven and Jackson sobbing through flashbacks of her loved ones. It’s a death and not one particularly suited to a character of Abby’s standing on the show. More, fans of Paige Turco are likely going to have to prepare to watch “Abby” die once more — just as they did with Kane. It’s been a rough season for fans of Kabby. May we meet again Abby Griffin, you deserved more than you were given. 

2. Forced Female Friendships are not Feminist (Say That 3 Times Fast)

This episode felt like a good reminder that most TV writers do not understand female friendships (yes, even if the writers identify as women themselves). In this episode we are treated to a moment that is still confusing me as I write this (after my second viewing of the episode): Clarke and Echo (and Gaia and Miller) are reunited and in a moment of relief, Echo hugs Clarke after realizing she’s managed to kill Josephine and that ...doesn't make sense. This season has felt like a huge attempt to retcon Clarke and Echo’s relationship into a friendship that does not exist; in fact Echo has been kinder to Clarke than people who have known Clarke for longer (albeit only by a few months) and that doesn’t work for me. 

In the Season 5 two-part finale, Echo literally threatens to kill Clarke, because she is enraged that she left Bellamy to die, in the Season 4 premiere she does the same, in Season 3 she is responsible (in part) for killing many of Clarke’s “people”; and yet, the show, in a strange attempt to portray “friendship” between two women who the audience largely believe to be romantic rivals (because that’s how they are written), would have us ignore all of these previous transgressions, pretend the characters don’t need to have at least a conversation about mending their relationship and have jumped onto the bridge of friendship together. Echo and Clarke honestly don’t even know each other. It’s disingenuous and another example of the horrible ways in which a show that primarily features women treats those women. 

Even worse is the fact that, after repeating Monty’s mantra all season long through many characters (but primarily Clarke), we watched Echo murder Ryker last episode in cold blood. (I have yet to come up with a reason his death makes sense. Yes he was going to wipe Echo, but Miller had him at gunpoint and he’d surrendered. It would have been easy enough to force him into the chair, tie the restraints and gag him — leaving him to be found later by the guards, or in this case Josephine.) What about Echo’s actions this season (in the small amount of screen time she’s been given) equate to “doing better”? We watched people castigate Clarke for killing people to save her people, but no one has anything to say to Echo for killing people to save….herself? It’s baffling that this show continues to have Echo act in ways that are antithetical to those of our confirmed heroes (Bellamy and Clarke) and suffer absolutely no negative pushback from anyone. At what point do we see the consequences of her actions? Especially with the messaging for this season? 

3. Plot Holes Big Enough to Sink a Ship In

As per usual, The 100 once again crafts a season that is perhaps too big for its season length. This problem has been consistent since Season 4 and it’s largely because, after Season 3, the show which once prided itself on the fact that “anyone could die” has now become afraid to kill even the most useless character, if at least one fan likes them. This episode attempted to wrap up several character and plot arcs and as a result it felt overcrowded and rushed. Between bringing the Flame into the plot, the nightblood, making new primes, Emori and Murphy becoming Primes and pretending to be Kaylee and Daniel, Gabriel returning to Sanctum, Russell bombing his people and forcing them to kill each other, Priya’s kidnapping, and Abby’s death it’s just too much for one episode to handle!

If they needed all of these things to happen before the end of the season they should have begun the wrap up sooner (and or gotten rid of two characters in Season 4 and 5 respectively as mentioned earlier) and this is one of the prime reasons I support and advocate for smaller casts. Because every character with even an ounce of screen time is given the “main” treatment, all of their storylines must somehow be wrapped up in the final two episodes and it has historically not worked. In fact, this particular episode’s issues are so glaring largely because this season seriously pared down the amount of time it spent with people who weren’t Bellamy and Clarke (much like Season 2), greatly alleviating the audience’s need to care about so many different characters and it worked! Season 6, up until this episode has been one of the best seasons (my current order being 2, 1, 6, 4, 3, 5) because it felt like they were returning to the heart of the show: Bellamy and Clarke and their relationship to one another (however you might describe that). With this disjointed episode I was again reminded that there are too many characters I don’t have enough time to care about and it sapped the joy out of an otherwise excellent season for me. 

But perhaps that’s my own fault. Perhaps I’m expecting too much from this show in its sixth season and of course I’ll wait to pass final judgement until the finale airs next week. I’ll be writing that review as well! I can’t wait to close out the season with you guys. See you soon!!!

April’s episode rating: 🐝🐝.5

The Season 6 finale of The 100 airs Tuesday, August 6 at 9/8c on the CW.

#The 100 #Adjustment Protocol

[rosabrachetto-promo]

Amaretto

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{Check out the disclaimer before reading this if you haven’t already?}

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Chapter 12

Amaretto sat in the back of Gilbert’s truck as he daydreamed about Ludwig. His blond hair was like a field of grains and his blue eyes were like a meadow of cornflowers. He was so smart, and so patient when it came to teaching him to read. His hugs were so strong. They could keep him safe from harm's way. But most of all, Ludwig was so kind and gentle to him, telling him everyday that his door was always open for him if he needed it. Both Ludwig and Gin wanted nothing but the best for the young Italian. So, why did Amaretto have such different feelings for them?

Amaretto was brought back to reality by the sound of his brother’s voice.

“Weak ass!” Limoncello yelled to Antonio. “You call that crate heavy?”

“Oh? And I suppose you could lift better, mi limonito?” Antonio teased back.

“I am not your limonito, you bastard!”

Amaretto giggled as his brother’s face turned red. It was always fun seeing his brother get flustered around people he cared about. Even though his brother would never admit it, Amaretto knew that the two of them were perfect for each other.

“Your brother sure knows how to talk to people, doesn’t he?” Gilbert said sarcastically as he sat next to the Italian.

He chuckled lightly and answered, “He’s just afraid to show his emotions, that’s all.”

Gilbert then wrapped his arm around his waist and turned to him. “So, you’ve been a lot happier lately,” he said to him. “Anything new happening?”

“Oh, yes. Ludwig is teaching me to read now.”

“Really?”

“Se. It’s just Wang’s recipes that Master is having me learn, but I’m having so much fun learning all these new words and what they mean. And the letters, too. I feel more American already!”

“That’s wonderful! It sounds like you made a new friend.”

“He’s, well, Gilbert, is there a word that means more than friends?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because that’s what Ludwig is to me. He’s more than a friend, he’s everything I could ever want. It’s like he’s my American Dream.”

He sighed, looking down grimly.

“What is it, Amaretto?” Gilbert asked “Is something bothering you?”

“It’s just, I belong to Master now, And I can never leave him. I promised I’d be loyal to him, and never leave him, no matter what. I have this wonderful, amazing, perfect man like Ludwig who makes me feel so happy, and I can’t be with him.”

His eyes started to water up, despite his efforts to hold back tears. “I want to stand up to Master, and be strong and brave like Ludwig. But I’m so scared of what he’ll do to my brother if I disobey him. I’m scared of what he’ll do to Ludwig or me if I disobey him. I just want everyone to be happy and safe, and right now, the only way I can do that is to be with Master.”

He buried his face into Gilbert’s chest and started to weep. “What do I do you, Gilbert? I don’t want to keep living like this, but I don’t want to see others get hurt because of me. What am I going to do, Gilbert? What am I going to do?”

Gilbert gave Amaretto a gentle hug and wiped away his tears as he started to calm down.

“Everything’s going to be alright, Amaretto.” Gilbert began softly. “Trust me. Love is a very powerful emotion, sweetie. It can make even the biggest cowards stand up and fight back for those they care about. Clearly, you have a lot of love in your heart for Ludwig. And the more love you have for someone, the stronger you’ll become to fight back and protect them.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

~~~~~~

Ludwig had the day off, so he met up with Gilbert that afternoon. As he waited outside the truck, he spotted Antonio trying to woo Limoncello, who seemed annoyed by such efforts. Francis was there too, talking with a woman whom he believed to be another one of Gin’s women of the streets. Although he couldn’t make out what they were saying, he felt it wasn’t his business to find out.

“Luddy!” Gilbert called from his spot in the back of the truck with him. “Luddy, what’s bugging ya?”

“Huh?”

“Something’s bothering you, Ludwig. I can tell; I’m your brother.” He opened a bottle of beer and handed it to Ludwig. “So, what is it?”

“It’s...him.” he answered, taking his the beer from his brother and drinking from it.

“Him who?”

“You know...him.”

“The little Italian with the fire auburn hair?”

“And the caramel eyes.”

“You can’t stop thinking about him, can you?”

“He’s just,” he said between pauses. “See, I’ve been meeting up with him to teach him reading, and everytime we meet, it’s like, I don’t know, he’s so...”

“Cheerful? Bubbly? Bright-eyed?”

“Happy. That smile. And that laugh.” Ludwig set his drink to the side and laid down against the seat with a sigh. “But, everytime we're together, he gets closer and closer to me. We’ll be going about our routine, and the next thing you know, we’re kissing.”

“What kind of kissing?”

“Nothing like what Frenchie does with that woman he’s always with. But, everytime we kiss, it’s feels so...”

“Incredible?”

“Like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. And I can’t help but enjoy it. But something still feels off, like something’s missing. Then fucking Gin comes in and tries to push the two of us in the guest room so he can ‘pay’ me with massages, and his hands are so soft, yet capable of working out the knots and kinks in my body. They feel amazing! But then night comes around, and when I’m trying to sleep, he’s there in my dreams.”

“Really?” Gilbert asked, lying next to his brother. “And what happens then?”

“He’s...sexy.”

“Is that so?”

“The setting is always different, but no matter what happens, we end up having heated, passionate sex. And it’s a fucking godsend.”

They each took another drink and laid in silence for a moment.

“I just wished I knew what all of that meant, or how to handle it.” Ludwig said softly.

Gilbert turned to face him with a smirk on his face.

“You know what I think?” he asked coyly. “I think you’re in love with him, but you’re in denial.”

“What?” Ludwig asked, taken aback by the statement.

“You heard me. You are in love with Amaretto, but you don’t want to admit it.”

“And what would you know about love, Gilbert? You don’t have a girlfriend-“

“I know that the way you feel is exactly the same way Francis feels about his Kalou everytime he sees her.” the elder brother answered, pointing his beer in the direction of Francis in the woman he was with. “And I also know that’s exactly how Antonio feels about Limoncello.”

Ludwig turned around to face his brother. “I am not in love with Amaretto.” he continued. “Even if I was... what if he doesn’t like me? What if I tell him about this, and he thinks I’m using him for sex? What if he starts to see me as just another one of his clients?”

“Ludwig,” Gilbert said, placing his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “ever since you came here, Amaretto has been the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time. You’re not just some client to him, you’re not even just a friend to him. You’re everything to him. Ludwig, stop denying your feelings for him and love him the way you clearly do. And stop being afraid of hurting him. He isn’t afraid of you, and you shouldn’t be either.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of glass breaking from inside Gin’s home. Ludwig got up from the truck and peered inside the window.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop interfering with my work?!” Gin yelled from inside, squeezing Amaretto's bicep with brute force.

“But I just wanted to-“ Amaretto started to explain, his head dripping blood from the broken glass.

“If you really want to help, you can start be staying the fuck out of my office and minding your own goddamn business!”

“Mi scusassi! Mi scusassi! Mi scusassi!”

“The bloody fuck you just say, boy?!”

“I’m sorry, Master! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again! I promise! Please don’t hurt me!”

Ludwig chugged the rest of his beer and shoved the empty bottle to Gilbert, his lungs inhaling and exhaling at breakneck speed and his heart pumping blood much faster than usual. “Excuse me,” he said in an angry tone. “I’m late for my next session.” Never had Ludwig felt so angry in his entire life. Whether he was in love with Amaretto or not, he couldn’t stand watching him suffer like this any further. He could still hear Gin ordering him to clean up the broken glass everywhere as Amaretto continued sobbing. Ludwig pounded at the door, trying to resist every fiber in him not to break the door down himself. Finally, the door opened and Gin answered.

“Ludwig,” he said, displaying a fake, cheerful demeanor as if nothing had happened. “Come in. We thought you wouldn’t make it today.”

Ludwig pushed the Brit aside and barged over to the Italian, whom was tossing the broken glass in the trash can. When he turned back around, the German could see the cuts in his scalp and the blood trailing down his face mixed with his tears.

“What happened?” he asked him, gentle in his voice.

“Oh, he was just messing around with the beer bottle and one fell on his head.” Gin interrupted. Continuing his sweet facade, he turned to his hooker. “You poor little thing. Now go clean up, boy. We don’t want any of that blood accidentally landing in the food, now do we?”

“Right away, Master.”

Once Amaretto left, Ludwig turned to Gin and shoved him against the wall. “Don’t pull that bullshit sweet talk with me,” he growled. “I know you broke the bottle over his head, asshole.”

“Spying on me, were you?” he said in his usual smug manner. He grabbed the German’s shirt at the collar, then pulled him in and leaned into his ear. “Listen to me, kraut!” he whispered in harsh tone. “That boy is mine to do as I fucking please. He belong’s to me, and to me alone. He’s my piece of arse to use, my toy to play with, my goddamn property. If you think you can come here and steal him from me, you are sorely mistaken. So, if I were you, I’d mind your own damn business and stay the fuck out of mine. I have murdered before, Beilschmidt, and I’m not afraid to murder again if I have to. Do you understand?”

~~~~~~

As Amaretto went to wash himself, he turned on the faucet, trying to drown out the sound of his master and Ludwig arguing. Watching the water flow down into the sink, he felt the pipe in his own body begin to leak out tears. He was used to all the pain and abuse his master gave him, but having Ludwig see him like this only brought him embarrassment and shame. Ludwig was strong, physically and emotionally. He was also kind and gentle to him, patient and understanding too. Ludwig was everything Amaretto wanted to be, but could never be. He was tired of being just a helpless boy around him. He just wanted Ludwig to see him as a equal. And now, having the German see his face covered in blood and broken glass like this, Amaretto felt even smaller and weaker than the chinchilla he was.

It was hopeless.

Seeing a razor by the sink, he took it and aimed it over the sink, inches from his wrists. Do it. he heard voices in his head say. What’s the worst that could happen? Master kills you? Being dead is worth more than anything in life can give you. Besides, you’re just a worthless, pathetic chinchilla. You’re just prey bound to end up dead anyway.

His hand began to shake as he brought the blade closer to his skin. He bit his lip and tried to hold back his sobbing. But just before the blade hit his skin, he heard another set of voices speaking to him.

What would Ludwig think if he saw you doing this?

Amaretto pulled the razor away just in time, setting it back on the counter as his sobbing returned, this time harder than before. His fell to his knees, cowering in pain and guilt. He already saw how Ludwig acted when his master hurt him. If Ludwig saw him causing harm on himself, he would never forgive him. Amaretto would only further proving himself weak and cowardly to him.

Amaretto was trapped, his world closing in on him. No matter how hard he tried to fight back and be with Ludwig, the more he felt his Master pulling him down and further away from him. It was no use, he could never be with Ludwig even if he tried. He was a coward, just a helpless chinchilla in the concrete jungle of New York.

He did not deserve Ludwig.

Washing away both the blood from earlier and the tears, Amaretto breathed deeply trying to calm himself down. Even if he couldn’t be with Ludwig, he could still love him. That’s what he was good at; loving others. That was all he could do: love.

He went back out to the kitchen, trying to hide his pain so he could keep everyone happy.

Especially Ludwig.

~~~~~~

Gin and Ludwig heard footsteps returning into the room, getting louder as they approached them. The two separated and found Amaretto, face clean from the blood and tears and back to his perky, joyous self again.

“Amaretto, my love.” Gin said, back to his sweet talk as he went to hug his young lover. “You look so much better now that your face is not covered in blood.” He gave him a long, deep kiss, his arm held him tightly against him, and his hand squeezed his backside, displaying his dominance over his prostitute. The German was seconds away from socking the Brit the hardest punch in his life, only to be stopped by the Italian standing in between them. Once they broke apart, Gin headed back into the kitchen.

“I expect dinner to be ready shortly, my poppet.” Gin said in a sing-song manner. “Do behave yourself for Ludwig and don’t cause anymore trouble.”

“Yes, Master.”

After he had left, Ludwig slammed his fists into the counter, breathing at a rapid pace. His mind raced as the image of Gin’s smug grin and wicked laugh taunted him. One way or another, he was going to end him once and for all.

But then he felt a soft, gentle, and loving hand on his shoulder. He placed his own hand over the former, then turn in its direction to find Amaretto, smiling softly and gently, despite what he had been through. Ludwig’s breaths returned to normal, and the thoughts of Gin faded, leaving him with just the man in front of him. The fact that this man had been through so much pain and humiliation for so long, yet still managed to smile through it all confused Ludwig. Yet, it also brought him comfort as well, knowing that he was putting on a brave face and continuing with life as if none of the bad things had happened. Amaretto then took both of Ludwig’s hands and kissed them sweetly. All of a sudden, the world around Ludwig started to fade, and all that was left was Amaretto. He didn’t need to say anything, but somehow, this man knew how to calm Ludwig down without a single word.

“I’m...I’m sorry.” Ludwig whispered.

“Don’t be, Ludwig.” Amaretto replied quietly. “I understand.”

#amaretto part 14 #hetalia #hws italy #hws germany #gerita #hws england #amaretto #hetalia world stars #hws prussia #hws feliciano #hetalia feliciano #feliciano vargas #hws ludwig #hetalia ludwig #ludwig beilschmidt #hws gilbert #hetalia gilbert #gilbert beilschmidt #hws arthur #hetalia arthur #arthur kirkland #hetalia feliciano vargas #hetalia ludwig beilschmidt #hetalia gilbert beilschmidt #hetalia arthur kirkland #tw abuse #tw self harm #fanfiction #hetalia fanfic #hetalia america

[deztinywarriors]

The Linked Charms - Episode 2 (Multi Liverpool players)

#football fanfiction #football imagine #liverpool fc #trent alexander arnold #andrew robertson #mohamed salah #virgil van dijk

[dondake]

[mistagio] roman holiday

rating: t summary: Mista doesn’t target tourists, but he’ll make exceptions. AO3 Link

It wasn’t that Guido Mista was homeless, except - ever since he was evicted for not paying three months worth of rent (“I’ll have it next week...or the week after that, promise on my grandmother’s grave.”), he had been flitting from couch to couch to keep a roof over his head. And it wasn’t that he was penniless and couldn’t afford even a bare bones efficiency, as his stars shone over him and let him move from part time job to part time job as he pleased, but it was a hassle to negotiate lease terms and bicker with new landlords. After Bruno politely kicked him out after two weeks and Fugo forbade him from taking advantage of Narancia’s generosity for more than two whole months, Mista had taken to honing his charisma to charm his way into the beds of those who would take him. But now the girl he had been staying with, a trusting assistant baker, had hesitantly asked him when he thought the plumbing at his place would eventually be fixed and he knew his days on her borrowed patience was coming to an end.

Taking some money from her counter, he told her he would go check on his apartment and come back with pastries and espresso and trotted down the alleyway behind the building with no intention of returning. The sun was beginning to peek through the tops of the trees sparsely littering the street; the weather was going to be nice for the next few days, which was fortunate if he struck out and had to resort to sleeping in the park for the night. Of course, that was not preferable, so he did go to the closest shop and buy buttery cornetti and three cups of hot coffee.

Narancia was outside his store when Mista came up, keeping his gait casual. While Narancia was not one to notice the mood, he did not need the boy tipping Fugo off about his intentions before he had properly launched into his petition. “Oh, it’s you, Mista.” Setting up his sign, promising accurate models and other handcrafted figures if one would just step inside, Narancia straightened up and grinned. “I was wondering if you’d gone ahead and got married! That’s got to be the longest time you’ve overstayed your welcome like that!”

“Good morning to you too,” Mista said, choosing to ignore the backhanded commentary. “Have you eaten yet? I thought about you when I was getting breakfast; there’s some for the sour thistle too, before he chases me out for not being an accommodating guest.”

“Well, I’m not going to say no to food! Come on in.”

What he needed, Mista thought, was a reliable source of income. Narancia had been every bit of a blue collar, bullet-nosed kid raised on the streets like he was, but now he was the proprietor of a humble little toy shop on one of the main streets of Naples. While it was no fancy boutique, the wooden shelves were neatly painted, polished, and sturdy, holding the metal miniatures of airplanes and trains that were imported from Spain. The shades were drawn closest to the stuffed animals on the west wall, and the middle of the floor plan held the delicate tables where the carved wooden pieces Narancia whittled and tinkered with were displayed. Narancia was good with his hands, good with a blade, but he would have been any ordinary craftsman were it not for the scowling man who glowered at Mista as he approached the back counter.

“What do you want, Mista,” Fugo said. Heir to a wealthy import company, he had since wrested his share of the family fortune to co-own Arrowsmith with Narancia as the shop’s bookkeeper and sales liaison. “No, you cannot stay the night with Narancia. Have you cycled through your little black book of friends already?”

“Oh, what’s it to you,” Mista scoffed, putting the coffees down on the counter and pulling his hands away in time to avoid Narancia’s grabbing for his share. “You’re not Narancia’s roommate and you aren’t sleeping with him, so I’m not displacing you or anything.” Only Narancia was oblivious enough to think Fugo had no ulterior motives for providing the capital for his shop and staying behind after closing to teach him how to accurately calculate his profits for the day. The comment made Fugo’s mouth twist, a mortified shade of pink coloring his ears.

“You got kicked out? Do you need a place to stay?” Narancia said, between bites of pastry.

“Maybe. I’ll get back to you. You’ll lend me your couch for a night or two, won’t you? Can’t you help your pal, who’s down on his luck?”

Narancia opened his mouth to say yes, but Fugo spoke up first and louder. “Just find your own place already, Mista. Aren’t you tired of moving from place to place? I can’t imagine what this is doing to your sleep cycle. You do know that people’s brains don’t fully settle when they’re in new surroundings for the first time, right? You’re not feeling well rested because your body is in a state of alert since you keep changing bedrooms.”

“You could have cured cancer if you weren’t playing with toys,” Mista said, waving a hand to dismiss him. “How about it, Narancia? Only if I can’t find someone to room with. You know I stay out; you won’t even know I’m there.”

Narancia opened his mouth again, before closing it and glancing at Fugo. For a horrified moment, Mista thought he had lost his closest ally to the clumsy advances of someone younger than both of them, who insisted that his clothes weren’t raggedy, they were worn and lived in. But Narancia shifted the weight in his feet anxiously and said, “Well...maybe, okay. Only for a few days. Fugo got us a contract with the tourism board so I’ve got to make some miniatures of the Duomo di Napoli that they’ll sell in their offices. You know a ton of people go through them, so it could really put...put Arrowsmith on the map.” This was Fugo’s script, for sure. “But...and don’t take this the wrong way, but when you’re around, I won’t get them all done in time. I mean, I like hanging out with you, but you really go all out sometimes and that’s fun, but…”

“I get it, I get it.” Mista shrugged. Perhaps he had taken the wrong gamble and should have visited Bruno first with the breakfast money; now he would need to needle the bureaucrat empty-handed. “That’s great, though. Can you imagine the things you make sitting in the houses of someone from across the ocean?”

“Yeah! And I won’t need to make Fugo translate for me to sell them.” Fugo, with his knowledge of several major languages, was invaluable for a little local shop that attracted tourists with artisanal tastes; Narancia was a favorite with the kids in the neighborhood, but he let Fugo do the talking for the rest of their clientele.

Mista raised his brows. “Then you’d better look for another job, since Narancia won’t need you anymore soon.”

Fugo was finished with his espresso or else he would have probably thrown it in Mista’s face. “Just get out, you freeloader.”

Bruno would most likely be busy at this point in the morning and would not be particularly generous while he was at his office; Trish was probably sleeping and her wrath at being deprived of her beauty sleep would make Bruno even less inclined to do him any favors. The shipping company he was with would not be receiving any deliveries until later in the week, so he was waiting on his heels for his next paycheck. His best bet was to linger in the marketplace and do any odd jobs and run errands for pittance to get a bed in one of the back alley hostels. If he was lucky, he’d find his next victim - he was good at scoping out someone who was good natured and trusting of his sob stories, even if they weren’t always convincing.

The marketplace was becoming busy, with older women making the rounds to snatch the freshest produce before the latecomers arrived. Hanging back, Mista took stock of the girls running the stands; he had fooled around with Maria’s sister, so she would be wary around him; Felicia was friends with two girls whom he had parted with on bad terms, so she was also a no go. He doubted Anna would want to pick up her brother’s sloppy seconds, and he was not eager to reintroduce himself into Antonio’s household anyway. There were a few fresh faces that Mista did not recognize; they were most likely tourists by the way they were looking around with careless awe. Their pockets would be picked before the sun set. Mista did not usually try to pick up tourists; they became too cautious when he suggested they return to their hotel and he had to admit he did not really look the part of a good, upstanding Italian citizen.

While most of the tourists were traveling in tight packs, there was one person wandering by himself. Holding a piece of paper, the blonde stranger walked down each aisle with careful precision, examining each table’s wares. He was dressed too well to be an American and his features were decidedly European, though Mista would not be surprised if he was biracial with his less severe cheekbones and a lighter skin tone than the Italians in the region. In fact, Mista had been about to write the man off as a native until the man came closer and Mista saw through the paper what looked to be an address and a crudely drawn map. Naples was big, but not big enough to confuse someone who had lived in the area for years. “Hey,” he called, leaning back against the fountain to expose his neck and appear open and unthreatening. The man turned to him, startled but not jumpy; this was a tourist who had been to Italy before or had a good enough head on his shoulders not to be fooled by more basic swindlers. “Are you looking for something? Do you need any help?”

The man stared at him for a long, silent moment. “I’m looking for a particular dried goods store. I was told that they sometimes sell here, but I can’t seem to find them. I’ve just recently arrived, so I’m still figuring out my directions.”

“Oh? Let me see; I can probably point you in the right direction.” Speed Wagon was an old establishment, well known despite not being on a very public street. “It’s pretty close, maybe a ten minute walk. Just go up until you get to the seamstress, then bear left and go diagonally across the square and pass the newspaper stand and the butcher. But not the butcher with the hog’s head plaque; you need to go further to the one with the wreath of grain. It should be down the cobblestone side street.” He was being purposefully vague with his directions, practiced in casually using his hands to talk. He would not offer to take him there; it had to be a request, so he knew he was not wasting his time with someone as vigilant as Bruno.

The man took back the paper with the address and terrible map and stared at it for another long moment. “I suppose you won’t help me out any more without a price. I’m a sitting duck, with how I’ve told you that I’m new to the area. But I’m Italian, just like you are; I can navigate my motherland even with that convoluted explanation.” He began to walk away, only pausing when Mista began to laugh.

“Alright, alright. I’ll help you out. For free, and you can hold that on my good name.” The stubborn ones were fun; the prideful ones made his conquest even better. This tourist could appeal to his nationalistic side all he wanted, but he was still new to Italy and Mista had no loyalty to someone who had chosen to call somewhere else home.

“Then you should share your good name,” the man prompted. Mista laughed again; everyone here knew of him, and he had done most everyone a favor once or twice. His enemies would be the enemies of any tourist, prepared or not, so he had no fear of revealing himself.

“Guido Mista. Call me Mista; that’s what everyone else does.” The man did not volunteer his name, but Mista looked at the piece of the paper with the address that had an elaborate letterhead. “I’m going to assume that GG are your initials; care to return the favor?” A nice letterhead - and the man was wearing nice leather shoes and a nice pressed shirt. Tourists with money were hard to crack, but the payoff was always worth it.

“Giorno. Giorno Giovanna.”

“Alright. Matches your hair.” The sun was just as bright a gold as Giorno’s head, a neat plait as perfect as a meticulously shaped challah. It was appropriate, Mista thought; he appreciated a good looking man when he saw one. It was natural that those who were blessed with classically beautiful features attracted people to themselves. Bruno was polished and put together and Trish had good proportions; she might have had inherited roots in government with a politician father, but Mista always thought they would have had their names in the papers by look alone. To contrast, Abbacchio was a peace officer who operated alone because he was just too gloomy.

“So how long have you been in Naples?” Tourist marks got nervous if you were too quiet. And frankly, Giorno’s guardedness and understated privilege suggested that Mista might get the jump on if he wasn’t careful himself.

“Only a few days. My...father has a few affairs he wants me to take care of at his house.”

“Your family house is in the area? How can you say you’re new? Where are you coming from?”

If Giorno was put off by his questioning, he did not show it. “I’ve spent some time in Florence and Rome, but I’ve returned from Japan after visiting my mother. It is unfortunately time I cannot get back.”

“Tell me about it! My mother will never get off my case when I go home; she’s always asking what I’ve done with my life. Nothing, apparently, since I’m still alive, huh?”

That made Giorno chuckle, though level and restrained. Still, the sound had a funny way of sticking in Mista’s ear. A passing thought wondered what Giorno’s genuine laugh would sound like. He felt Giorno’s eyes case over his head at the hog’s head sign over the first butcher and then at the grain wreath over the second butcher’s door. What a little fool - only a novice thief would lie about everything from the start. They arrived at Speed Wagon, tucked away in a back street with only a flickering light illuminating the spoked wheel crest. “Thank you,” Giorno said. “For helping me find this place.”

“No problem. Actually, now that I’m here, I guess I’ll grab some jerky for a snack. May as well, since I’m never over here.” Again, Giorno’s apprehension of Mista sticking around didn’t show on his face, and he held the door open for Mista. Wandering into a back corner, he kept his ears alert as Giorno approached the counter.

“Pick-up? Under what name?”

Giorno paused. “Dio,” he murmured. Mista heard the crumple of the paper in his hands and looked between the shelves at Giorno pushing it into his pocket.

“Ah...our least favorite regular. Will he be visiting the house soon?”

“I guess so. His business is none of mine.”

There seemed to be some unspoken understanding between Giorno and the shopkeep. Mista had never heard of the Giovanna name, nor of a Dio, but he was not one to rub shoulders with the elite. He’d keep the names in mind to ask Bruno, who had his hand to the pulse of the city. “I only ask because...his order was three cases of red wine. Now, I’m not doubting your strength but this is a tall order for a single person and I know your father is...particular of who fetches his things and enters his house.”

“Wine? I thought this was a dried goods shop.”

“We are. But you must understand we also have connections and will carry what we’re asked of.” The man brought out each case of bottles and set them on the counter with a significant weight behind the sound of them settling on the wood. “You could carry them individually but I suspect it will take time for each…”

“I’ll help,” Mista volunteered, stepping out from where he had been watching. Giorno did not seem surprised at his suggestion. Mista thought that Giorno had been aware of his whereabouts the entire time they had been in Speed Wagon. “I’m currently working out at the docks; two cases should be no problem.”

The shopkeeper turned to Giorno. “A family friend?”

“That would be generous.” Giorno studied the wine. “I suppose I have no choice but to rely on you again, Mista.”

Upon leaving Speed Wagon, Giorno did not return to the main road, where most of the cars were parked. Hitching the crates of wine under his arm, Mista hoped whatever penthouse suite Giorno was returning to was far enough away that he could really flex and show off his muscle definition to sweeten the deal. But Giorno merely continued walking, a crate of wine in his hands, and walked right out of the center of the city. Mista was no slouch, he worked out in his spare time, but he did not usually carry heavy items for significant distances. Just as he contemplated asking Giorno for a break, they emerged from the road to a grand villa on the outskirts of Naples, right where the buildings began to move further and further from each other. “Welcome to my father’s house,” Giorno said, gazing up at the gate in front of them. He turned back to Mista, quietly and expectedly.

“You aren’t going to invite me in, give me a drink or nothing?”

Giorno sighed, but he allowed Mista to follow him into the main house. Mista had gone to a nice house like this once, when he was temping for a catering firm, but the constant flow of guests had kept him from really taking in the extravagance. The pillars bordering the little courtyard inside, where a red clay fountain bubbled in the center surrounded by lush shrubbery, had to be made from stone straight from the source, smoothed by hand. The floor was marble tile, with barely a scratch. Giorno’s shoes were real leather, but Mista’s sandals were almost dirt cheap and boldly striding across enough stone worth a month’s paycheck. They bypassed the kitchen and Giorno led him to a small, cool wine cellar at the foot of a flight of wooden stairs. The three crates of wine seemed insignificant against the already impressive collection displayed around them. Giorno set his crate on the ground and Mista stacked his on top, casually rubbing his biceps with as little expression as he could muster. He would be sore tomorrow, for sure.

“Thank you again,” Giorno said.

“Sure thing.” Mista stared up at the dirt ceiling, his voice sinking into the soil and brick around them. “Do you wanna fuck?”

“Here?”

“Uh, no, unless you want to. I’m sure there’s got to be a bed or something in this huge house.”

Giorno blinked his beautiful blue eyes at him. The adrenaline was really coursing through his blood if he was being this reckless, calling Giorno beautiful despite knowing the man for less than half a day. Mista knew his way around many a beautiful Italian, but there was something different in the way Giorno carried himself - ethereal, yet the gold around the edges could be pure and soft or gold plated pewter. Mista wouldn’t know, but he did want to take the risk and sink his teeth in. “I thought you said you wanted to come in for a drink,” Giorno said, finally. He cradled his arms in front of his chest, defensively, but it wasn’t a no.

“We can get a drink and then we can fuck. What, do you have an order you like to do these things in?”

Giorno poured two tall glasses of water, as they had been lifting wine in the sun, but they were left mostly full on the table next to the window. Mista doubted the bedroom Giorno brought them to was his own, personal one, but with the different rooms they had passed, Giorno could sleep in a different bed for each night of the week and it wouldn’t matter. Tourists scrambled to explore Naples on a budget, but lucky boys like Giorno only had to to book a flight and fall right into his father’s house for a quick holiday. It made Mista feel less guilty fucking Giorno right into what felt like expensive sheets, paid for by a faceless older man. Giorno’s skin was hot in his hands, a flash of fire, like the setting sun. He hadn’t timed it right, Mista though, wiping his brow with his wrist, buried halfway into the boy beneath him. If had bided his time and waited until the sun was completely below the horizon, he could spin a tale that it was just worth it to stay the night.

“You’re distracted,” Giorno said, reaching back and pulling Mista close by the hip. “Finish what you started.”  

Afterwards, they returned to the city for dinner. Giorno was leaning against the wall, the buttons on his shirt done low so Mista could see dark red hickeys where neck met shoulder, staring out the window of the pizzeria when Bruno walked up to the table.

“I heard from Fugo that you would be looking for me, but it looks like you won’t be needing my help.” Bruno was not one to judge openly, but Mista knew he had seen them from a distance and had studied Mista, hunched forward in his chair over his plate, and Giorno, practically sprawled along the booth. “Who is your acquaintance?”

“Bucciarati, this is Giorno. Giorno, here’s the man who practically runs all of Naples. Effectively.”

“A pleasure,” Giorno said, taking the hand Bruno extended to him. “Bruno Bucciarati. I’ve heard of you. If you’re here, then you must also be with--”

“We should order pick-up next time,” Trish said, sliding up to Bruno’s side and wrapping an arm around his arm. “Ugh. They’ve got a new girl taking orders and she’s seen me perform before. I could not get in a word edgewise. She’ll get her mother, or her father, so be careful and don’t engage. We’ll be here until midnight if we let her chatty family catch us.” Trish let her complaint trial off, recognizing Mista, who had returned to eating. “Oh, hello Mista. Haven’t seen you in a while. Who’s your catch now?”

“Trish,” Mista said, giving her a look. Bruno clasped a hand over hers on his arm and squeezed - subtly, but Mista saw Giorno follow the movement with his eyes. “Giorno. Giorno, Trish.” He hated introducing the people he was sleeping with to the gang. Without labels, it became awkward and troublesome to describe. Not that there was a label for someone he had only slept with once, but he was regretting not going somewhere with a lower likelihood of running into someone he would know.

“A little...no, a lot out of your strike zone, Mista. Oh, I’m kidding!” Trish threw her hands up. “Can’t a girl make a joke! It’s nice to meet you, Giorno. Don’t mind me, but I hope you’re keeping Mista in check. He’s really not for everyone.”

“He’s not,” Giorno agreed.

“I haven’t seen you around,” Bruno said. “Are you new to Naples?”

“My flight landed two days ago. I’m just getting over the jetlag.”

“I see. I welcome you to the city. As Mista so generally put it, I do work in administration so it’s my duty to make sure your time here is enjoyable.”

“There’s so much more to see than Mista’s random assortment of haunts,” Trish said, laughing when Mista began waving her off. “I’m not performing until Thursday, so hopefully you’ll be free then and can come watch. Bruno always reserves a table, and I’m sure he’d love the company.”

“You’ll love his company until Trish is done performing, then you’re a third wheel,” Mista groused. “Hey, Bucciarati. I actually think I will come over. When will you be home?”

Giorno turned to him. “How long are you planning to be out? I’m a little tired as it is, so I don’t know if I can stay out too late.”

Closing his mouth before it was obvious he had let his jaw drop, Mista put down his piece of pizza. “You...want me to come back to your place with you?”

Trish leaned into Bruno’s shoulder. “I think we should leave them now,” she whispered, loud enough for Mista to overhear. Bruno offered a polite farewell before excusing the both of them. They sat a fair distance away, and for Trish’s credit, did not look back or watch them.

“I just,” said Mista, “didn’t think you’d...I mean - I had a good time, but you’ve only got so much time before you’ve got to go-” He was shooting himself in the foot; he wanted a place to sleep, and now he was talking too much. There had been others who had been enamored early, whom Mista had taken full advantage of, but it was the unlikely combination of Giorno’s means and options he was bound to have - and Trish was right, boys like Mista could be found on any block in any neighborhood.

“Go? Where am I going?”

“You’re on holiday, aren’t you? Staying at your father’s house?”

Giorno studied him. “I’m not on holiday. I’ve just moved here. My father’s gifted me his house, so yes, I’ve got some of his affairs to take care of, but I own that property. It’s big to be alone in, and while I must admit you wouldn’t have been my first choice…” He folded his hands, and Mista felt rooted in place, caught in Giorno’s snare. “Unless, you mean to say that you only slept with me because you were expecting never to see me again.” He wore a frown, but there was no real heat in it. Giorno could find someone else and forget him with a blink of an eye.

Mista felt able to breathe again, exhaling with a shaky laugh. “It would have been easier,” he admitted. He followed Giorno back to the villa, back to the same room, and they fucked again, lazily because Giorno was tired. What a brilliant stroke of luck, Mista thought. He had a roof over his head for the night. But more than that - he was known to be a bit laser focused when catching someone in his sniper scope, unrelenting until he’d gotten what he wanted. It had been a while since he’d been caught in the crosshairs of someone else’s aim, and the gaze Giorno had on him wasn’t besotted but one of conquest. Giorno had full intention of making him kneel, pledging his loyalties to a golden haired golden boy - and while Mista had no intention of bending to another’s will, the thought of submitting to Giorno made him shiver.

“I hope you won’t mind,” Giorno yawned, swadling himself with pillows as Mista laid next to him, staring at a curious star-shaped birthmark on his nape, “but I’ve offered board to one of my closest advisors while I’m here. Polnareff knows to be discreet, but I’d rather keep my private life private.”

“Is that all you think of me as?” Mista asked, grinning cheekily. “An on-call booty call, kept man that you can summon at any time, left to wander on my own when you don’t want me?”

Giorno ran his fingers through his hair, curly from the braid. “Is that such a bad life?” He rolled over, coming up so close that he pushed Mista onto his back and splayed his fingers out on his chest. “Tell you what - I know this estate’s been the place of many attempted break-ins while my father wasn’t around. You can be the hired muscle to keep my enemies away from me. In exchange, I won’t expect you to be at peak performance whenever I want you.” Giorno leaned in, and Mista remembered they hadn’t kissed - and in spite of himself, his breath caught in his throat. It was the kiss of death, and he was signing away his life to be in Giorno’s services. It wasn’t exactly what he had in mind for a carefree life, but as he kissed back, he thought it was excusable for now.

#mistagio #giomis #giorno giovanna #guido mista #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo #canadino fic #ao3 link recommended since this is a long one

[hazeinart]

I really love your single dad au, and I can’t wait to see more! :) when are we going to find out Howard’s reaction to peter?

Thank you! I feel so loved!

**********

Tony decided to confront his dad that day and introduce hisson, Peter. He had been talking with Rhodey for a week before he decided tocome home. He wouldn’t let go of Rhodey ever since they rang the doorbell infront of the Stark Mansion. Tony was shaking. He didn’t know how they wouldreact to this. How Howard would react to this. But he knew he can’t keep this asecret from them especially from his dear Mother.

When Jarvis opened the door seeing them, his expressionjumped from relief to shock. He stood there gaping at Tony for almost a wholeminute before fixing himself.

“Master James, Master Tony” He bowed before them. “MasterTony, I am delighted to see you back home” He gave Tony a soft smile.

“I’m glad to see you too Jarv” Tony beamed at him.

“If you don’t mind me sir for asking but why do you have achild with you” Jarvis gave them both a confused look.

“I-It’s a long story Jarv. I’ll have to tell you anothertime. I have to speak to Howard and my mother first”

“I understand sir. Your father and mother are in the studyroom. They had been worried sick”

“I bet he wasn’t” Tony mumbled to himself. Rhodey heard itthough and he squeezed Tony’s hand making the smaller man look up at him.Rhodey gave him a reassuring smile which Tony tried to mimic but failed.

They walked in to see his father brooding in front of theunlit fireplace and his mother was behind him placing a hand on her husband’sshoulder. Tony took in a deep breath and let goes of Rhodey’s hand to holdpeter a lot closer to him.

“Mamá” Maria and Howard jerked around to look at where thevoice was coming from.

“Tony”

“Tesoro!” She was about to leap and squeeze her son in hisarms when she notices what he was carrying. “umm… Antonio, why are you bringinga baby with you?“

Howard’s immediately stared bewildered at what Maria wastalking about.

“H-He’s my son” Both Maria and Howard’s eyes widened. Marialooked at her husband eyes panicked. Howard wasn’t pleased.

“Rhodey, can you bring the baby with you to the living room?I would like to have a word with my son privately"

Rhodey nodded at Howard before taking Peter from Tony’shands and giving him a comforting squeeze as he grasp his shoulders. WhenRhodey closed the door behind him, neither party spoke for a while. Tony hada hard time looking at his father straight in the eye and started fiddling withhis fingers from the growing uneasiness.

“I-I just wanted to tell y-”

“You stormed off when we talked about your future” Howardcut him off. His eyebrows scrunched together making his wrinkles look morevisible than ever. “I talked about it so you can have a great future and youstormed off”

“Like I w-was sayi-“

“IT TOOK YOU A WEEK BEFORE COMING BACK TO US AND YOU BRING AGOD DAMN CHILD WITH YOU!” Tony’s eyes widened in shock and fear at Howard’ssudden burst.

“Howard!” Maria pleaded to her husband to calm down butHoward wouldn’t budge.

“Your mother was worried sick! I WAS WORRIED SICK! And I’vegotten news that you were partying that night you left! And then you come backhere and bring a child WITH YOU!?”

“H-Howard”

Howard’s eyes glared at Tony as he hears his name.

“L-Let me explain” Tony pleaded with his father which onlymade Howard veins pop out.

“Explain? Explain me what exactly Anthony?! Explain that you’veknocked someone up? Explain that your recklessness ruined your life and thecompany?! Do you even know how this would affect the company?! I’ve beenreminding you a hundred times that you are a STARK and being my child means YOUare going to be the head of-“

“AND I’VE TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES THAT I NEVER WANTED TO BEIN THE COMPANY!” Howard and Maria blinked in surprise. Tony can’t take itanymore. He’s tired of Howard screaming at him. Tired of the years he had toendure to make him happy and in turn making himself a miserable fuck. “I’vetold you how much I’ve wanted to stand on my own feet! That I didn’t want tocontinue this fucking STARK legacy! Dad, I’ve been telling you for years!YEARS! And you wouldn’t even fucking listen to a word I had to say” Tony takesin a deep breath. “But I want you to listen to me… I NEED you to listen to menow… I’ve done what you’ve asked of me my entire life. I’ve skipped what shouldhave been my childhood! I went to boarding school even if I didn’t want to! Iwent to your stupid parties with those plastic people smiling at me telling mehow they expect so much from me! I’ve graduated college just like any parentwould want from their child! I even got a master’s degree which is not somethingjust anyone in my age could I achieve! I’m done doing things and being someone that everyone and especially you expect me to be. And it’s now my turn to chose who Iwant to be Dad…. And I want to be the father of my child… He doesn’t deserve tosuffer from the mistakes that I made… And I know” Tony choked from his own tearthat have swelled from all the emotions pouring out of his mouth. He clenchedhis fists. “I know that I am capable enough to give him the love and care thathe deserves… With or with your help. And the reason I came here was because Iwanted you to know all this before I leave”

Tony walked over and kissed Maria’s cheek who was pleadinghim not to leave before walking out of the room.

**********

“Antonio”

Tony stopped arranging his luggage and slowly turned to facehis mother but he wouldn’t look at her in the eye.

“I’m sorry that I yelled at you” Tony still didn’t look upfrom the ground. Maria started to walk closer to him. It took all of hisstrength not to walk out from the room. Maria didn’t deserve being yelled at.She showed how much she cherished Tony and he remembers how many times he criedin her arms. The woman who consoled him from every bruise and scars he made andevery time he felt like he wasn’t anywhere good enough for Howard.

“Tesoro… look at me” Her voice was full of pain. She hatedhow broken her son felt.

Tony slowly looked up. Tony was only a little bit tallerthan her so it didn’t take him too long to stare at those eyes. Those eyes thatwere an exact same replica to his and to Peters, she still looked beautifuldespite the how tired she looked and the wrinkles that has started to formshowing how the years have started to catch up on her.

“I understand why you had to, Tesoro. Your father was alwaysshort-tempered but he does what he thinks is best for you… I hope you know that”

“I know” He took in a shaky breath. “Are you here topersuade me to stay?”

“I’d love to but sadly I know how set on you are when you’vedecided on what you want” She chuckled.

“Yeah…” Tony gave her a half-hearted smile. “It’s one of thetraits that I got from him”

“I’m here to give you this” Maria showed what she had beenholding all this time to him. It was a bunch of old papers.

“What is it?”

“It’s a deed” Tony looks widens his eyes at her. “It’s oneof the houses me and your father had planned to settle when you were born. Wehad thought about living a normal life once but somehow we pushed that ideaaside. It’s a peaceful town far from her. The house is still in good condition.The town is small but has everything that any child would need till he getsinto college. We had a caretaker but she sadly passed away. Her daughter is nowthe one taking care of it. No one knows who Starks are there…. Not even thecaretaker”

“I-I can’t” Tony stammered as he tries to give back the deedto her.

“I know I haven’t been the best father” Tony was startled tohear a voice from the door. Howard slowly walked in and stopped a few metersaway from them. He looked ashamed as he decides whether to look at his shoes orhis son’s eyes. “But I hope it’s not too late for me to say sorry about makingyou lose your childhood. I now know it was very selfish of me to expect you tobecome someone you didn’t want to be. And I hope I’m not too late to try andbecome a good grandfather to my grandson.” Howard took a few steps closer. “Iknow you want to prove yourself to me that you could do this without us butplease at least let us help you to star off. We’ve never used this because wethought… I-I thought this life was better for you. And I was wrong about that”He was shaking as he took the remaining steps to get beside Maria “I want youto know that I love you Anthony. I’ve loved you ever since you came to thisworld and I will love you till my last breath even if I am really bad atshowing it to you.”

“We love you, Tesoro”

Tony hugged them both as he sobbed

“I love you both so much”

**********

Bonus:

“So this is my grandson!” Howard lifted peter up high abovehim which made the little guy giggle. Howard smiled.

“He looks just like you Anthony!” He chirped.

The giggling stopped for a second and Peter puked right onHoward’s face.

“Yup… he really is your son”

Another fit of giggles filled the room.

@jadepc

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#single dad au #single dad tony #irondad #spiderson #Dad!Tony #baby!Peter #Howard ain't perfect but his trying #Howard stark #being a better father #being a good son #Tony stark #Peter parker #Peter stark #Maria Stark #James Rhodes #rhodey is a good bro #1990s #edwin jarvis #spideriron family

[multi-goodness]

Just breathe

A small story on what should have happened on the finale. It occurs after we saw Sylvie crying in her car. As always, enjoy!

--------

Sylvie wasn’t sure why she left her apartment to cry alone in her car, but then again she knew why.

Ever since she saw the woman died in front of her, with nothing Sylvie could have done to prevent it, everyone was looking at her strangely. Especially Cruz. She adored her friendship with Cruz but right now she needed to be alone. And this left her sobbing alone in her car.

She wasn’t sure why this woman was getting to her. Maybe it was because she got stabbed and died for apparently no reason. She was a mother who seemed to love her kids, even the brief moment Sylvie had with her, she wanted to make sure her kids were okay. It wasn’t fair.

“Come on, Sylvie, get a grip,” she whispered to herself, trying to calm down. She wiped the tears away, hoping it would make the tears stop streaming.

Luckily, that seemed to help, and maybe with some luck, it’d stop long enough so she could drive home. She hoped Cruz would be sleeping so she could slipped into her room and let her exhaustion take over. 

Feeling like she needed another break, she pulled over and to her surprise, and slight annoyance , she was outside of Antonio’s apartment building. She wasn’t sure why she was here but decided to go with it. 

This past year, with Antonio especially, she has been trying to fight for control. Fight for control of her feelings, of her thoughts, even what she said to him. But right now, she was weak. 

She should just head home and forget about this, she wanted to be strong. It wasn’t late at all, but showing up at his door, looking the way she did wouldn’t be so smart. She knew this but she still opened the door and stepped out. 

She let the fresh air hit her in the face, but instead of that making her come to her senses, all it did was push her towards his building. Sylvie was so upset that she didn’t even feel like she was walking, it was her body doing it all, she was just trying to keep up.

Maybe it was because despite everything she and Antonio went through these past couple of months, he was the only one that could help her. Or so she hoped.

As she reached his apartment door, she wasn’t nervous anymore. But then again, right now her emotions were all over the place. She knocked on his door, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to fall.

As soon as Antonio opened the door though, she lost it. She didn’t mean to but just looking at him made her heart ache all over again.

“Sylvie?” He asked in a puzzled tone before he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her.

As Sylvie sobbed uncontrollably in his arms, he tried to soothe her, “shh, whatever it is, it’s okay. I’m here.”

It wasn’t everyday that your ex showed up at your doorstep breaking down completely. 

Antonio gave her all the time she needed to let it out. He didn’t care if they were in the middle of his hallway for hours, if this is what she needed.

A few minutes later, she lifted her head from his chest, her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying she did for the last few days. 

“I am so sorry,” Sylvie said as she wiped her eyes. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay,” Antonio said, giving her a small smile which she reciprocated. “Um, do you want to come in? Or did you just come here to cry in my arms?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood.

She laughed and she nodded her head, “I can come in if you’re not busy.”

He shook his head, “No, come in.”

He walked back inside his apartment as he heard his door closed behind Sylvie, “I would offer you a beer but I think you need something stronger, so sit down and I’ll go get it.”

She smiled and she nodded her head. She may have thought this was a mistake but realized this was what she needed. Everyone kept asking her if she was okay, yet Antonio just let her cry, no questions. She was sure he would have follow up questions but after soaking up his shirt, he deserved the answers.

She walked over to his couch and sat down. This living room brought back some painful memories. Painful because they were wonderful memories. 

She wondered if she stayed and ate the dinner Antonio cooked a few months ago, would they have ended up back together? The truth was, she didn’t leave that night because she just wanted a fling, a good time, it was because her feelings for Antonio were strong and she knew it wouldn’t take long before they ended back together.

“Here you go,” Antonio said, causing Sylvie to jump in surprise. She hadn’t realized she was daydreaming and blocking out what was around her but luckily his voice brought her back.

Immediately feeling sorry, he apologized, “Crap, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” Sylvie said, coming back to the present, the here and now. Although she may have ruined her chance at being with Antonio, the here and now was pretty great. He was passing her a glass of bourbon, she could tell by the smell so she took it from him. 

But the drink was the furthest thing on her mind. He must have changed his soaked shirt, and noticing her staring at his shirt, he explained, “Just in case you need to let out another good cry.” Those words melted her heart. He could have sent her away, told her this wasn’t his job anymore, but instead, in some way, he was taking care of her.

Sylvie’s eyes traveled down to his pants. Normally, he wore jeans but like every night he came home and wanted to relax, he changed into sweatpants. She tore her eyes away and took a sip from the glass, “Thank you,” she said as she swallowed. “This is exactly what I needed.”

Antonio sat down next to her, wanting to reach out and touch her but stopped himself. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable. “Now that you’re relaxed, I feel like it’s okay to ask this----are you okay?” He asked, his eyes grew concerned. 

It was like he was busy taking care of her, but once he knew she was okay and ready to talk, he actually wanted to listen, he actually wanted to know what made her so upset.

“It was just one of those days, you know?” She sighed as she put the glass down in front of her. “I love being a paramedic, it’s the best job in the world. I get to save people but the ones I can’t save---”

“They haunt you,” he finished her sentence.

She nodded her head, “But it isn’t everyone you can’t save. It’s just---once in a while you come across this patient, and when that person dies in front of you, you’re stuck thinking you could have done more. I know it’s not logical, I’m not god. And I’m also not thinking like a paramedic.”

“You’re thinking like a human being,” he pointed out. “There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I’m not supposed to care. I’m supposed to move on from one patient to the next and not get attached,” she said, repeating the same thing countless people told her over the course of her time in Chicago.

“Sylvie,” Antonio began, thinking back on his cases that haunt him and probably always will, “If you didn’t care, then you are in the wrong profession.”

“I don’t see Gabby reacting the way I am,” she pointed out.

“Gabby has been a paramedic in Chicago for years so she’s seen horrid things. But you know Gabby better than I do in this area, you know how much she cares.”

She nodded her head, he had a point, Gabby’s skin was thicker than hers. It wasn’t like she grew up in a big city that dealt with this, she lived in a city where some days she had no calls at all. Most of her patients were accident victims so she didn’t have any experience with this.

“You would think living in Chicago for a few years, I would get used to this,” she replied.

“Used to it? No. But soon, you’ll be able to handle it better. You will take it as a loss, but move forward knowing you did your best.”

“That’s what is haunting me, I didn’t do my best. I feel like I could have done better, worked harder to save the woman. She was a mother, and I let her die,” at her words, Sylvie started sobbing again. She wasn’t sure what it was about this woman that she couldn’t get over. 

Antonio moved closer to her and he wrapped his arms around her, “shh, it’s okay. Just breathe,” he said as he comforted her. 

Antonio wasn’t gonna try to force her to stop crying. He knew once she let all the tears out, she’d be okay. At least this time he wasn’t the reason for her tears nor sadness. 

A few minutes later, Sylvie stopped crying but she continued laying her head on his chest. Regardless of the fact that their relationship failed, she always felt safe in his arms and it was good to know that didn’t change. 

Antonio didn’t say a word but he was softly stroking her hair, trying to get her to feel better. It killed him that Sylvie was so sad and there was nothing he could do about it. He would have loved to try but really, he knew what she needed the most was a listening ear and he was trying his best not to feel some happiness that she turned to him for comfort and support. 

“Did you ever think about it?” She asked softly. “Quit and find a job that doesn’t break your heart?” She added as she lifted her head from his chest, looking at his face for an honest answer. 

“No,” he shook his head, “Look, our jobs may have a lot of differences but one thing it has in common is that we’re trying to save people, we’re doing our best to try to help. When it fails, that isn’t our fault. I think as long as you have a good heart, you’re doing your best.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Do you know how many people died while holding my hand? When I was in patrol, it used to happen a lot. I would get to a scene while the victim was grasping for air and there was nothing I could die. Those people used to haunt my dreams until I realized I did the best thing for them, I held their hand until they died so they weren’t alone.”

“Is that why you went into intelligence so they were already dead when you came onto the scene?” She asked.

“No,” he then shrugged his shoulders, “maybe. But in our jobs we see awful things people shouldn’t see, but we also see some miracles.”

“I remember a time when I was a witness to both. A young mother died from a GSW after giving birth to her child. The only reason that didn’t destroy me is because I tracked down the father and told him about the baby. At first I wasn’t sure he was gonna step up, but he did. I always felt like I gave him the best gift.” 

“You did, Sylvie.”

She looked over at his shirt and sighed, realizing she soaked it again.

“I am so sorry,” she began, “I didn’t mean to cry on you again.”

He waved his hand away, letting her know it was no big deal, “It’s okay, really.”

Sylvie looked over at the clock in his living room, it wasn’t late yet and she didn’t want to stay here until it was too late. Knowing Antonio, he wouldn’t let her drive home when it was too late.

“I should, um, get home. I had a long day and I have to get ready for my shift tomorrow,” she said as she stood up. “Thanks for the drink and the shoulder to cry on.”

“I’m just grateful you weren’t crying over me this time,” he said, giving her a small smile.

Sylvie was confused for a second and then she remembered what he meant by that. “I wasn’t crying---I mean, uh---” it was complicated to explain since Sylvie didn’t want to tell him the truth. “How did you know I wasn’t crying because I missed you?” She asked, glad she was able to make light of this.

Antonio chuckled, “Because I’m sure if you did, you would said so instead of just bursting out crying,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I don’t think I can lie around that, huh?” She asked.

He shook his head, “Not really.”

“But it’s not what you think,” she said.

He gave her a puzzled look, “well, whenever you feel better, maybe you can tell me.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she said as she pulled down her jacket that rose when she was sitting.

As she headed towards the door, she opened it and looked back at Antonio, “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah,” he said as he walked closer to her, “be careful, okay?”

As much as he wanted to walk her to her a car, a habit he did whenever she left his apartment, minus the time she walked out on him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to let her leave. This was the first time they saw each other without at least sharing a kiss, and it was hard to keep his distance. He didn’t want to risk ruining that just by walking her out.

She nodded her head and she gave him one last smile before she walked out and closed the door behind her.

#Brettonio #Sylvie Brett #Antonio Dawson #my fanfic #:)))

[your-brother-crutchie]

Papà

Oh my gosh, Anon, thank you so much! I’ve changed the wording slightly because my Race swears quite a bit when he’s emotional soooo. This is potentially a bit longer than it needs to be and I got a little distracted but I absolutely adore this prompt.

2. “I’m feeling very emotionally vulnerable right now so just hold my damn hand.”

14. “Tell me you need me.”

19. “It’s starting to kind of hurt my heart that you don’t say, ‘I love you,’ back.”

TW: Homophobia, Homophobic slurs (though they are all in Italian)

Race hadn’t seen his parents for three years. They kicked him out when he was fifteen, after finding out that he loved boys, and he hadn’t even thought about trying to get back in contact to reconcile. His best friend, Jojo’s, parents had taken him without even questioning it, even though it left them with three rowdy teenagers on the other side of Manhattan.

Well. Rowdy.

Whilst Race had been known to be the rowdy one, he’d slowly become more reserved over the months before he moved out, listening to his parents rant and rave about the abhorrence of homosexuality. Although Jojo’s parents were expecting the loud, bubbly Race that they knew, they got a small, quiet kid who smiled and nodded but cried when no one was watching.

So, it was three years later when Race finally saw them again. He was walking in Central Park with his boyfriend, a boy he’d met after moving out who had helped him on the road back to being himself. They’d only been dating for a few months but Race knew that he was absolutely in love with Spot Conlon.

They weren’t holding hands, they weren’t even particularly close to each other (Spot didn’t like being affectionate in public), but when Race made eye contact when passing the woman who had raised him all of those years ago, she sneered. She regarded the way Race sidled closer to Spot and nudged her husband, a man that Race had never been happy to call his father, even before he’d figured himself out.

Race’s little brother and sisters were crowded around their feet, looking up at him in awe. His brother recognised him, that was clear enough, but the twins, only six-years-old, had no idea who he was. He had three more siblings, two older brothers and a twin sister, but they were all college age.

Taking a shuddering breath, Race noticed Spot eyeing him uncertainly as the tall Italian man across from them made a beeline for where Race and Spot were walking. Although Spot had made him happy, and Jojo had been telling Race for months that he needed to tell him, Race had never told Spot what had happened with his family. It just hadn’t been something that he wanted to share.

Before Spot could do anything to stop him, Race’s father had grasped the front of his shirt and pulled his son forward until he was centimetres from his face, “Antonio Matteo Higgins, we did not raise you to become a troia.”

Whimpering as he felt his father’s hand tightening around his buttoned-shirt, Race tried to form a sentence, struggling as only his toes were able to brush the ground, “No, papà- per favore! Amici! Siamo solo amici!” Race had never wanted out of a situation so quickly as his little siblings watched in horror, a small crowd forming around them, and Spot, beautiful, angry Spot, fuming at his side.

Race’s father scoffed, he pushed the boy away from him as if disgusted by his own son before spitting at him, “Sfasciati in culo.”

There was uproar. The crowd didn’t really know what they’d been arguing about but they understood, ’papà.’ They understood that this man was Race’s father. There was murmuring, which led to shouting and, soon enough, Spot was throwing his first punch.

Race, however, would learn all of this later. He was too busy trying to wipe the spit from his eyes as he was led away by a tall woman, already shedding her large pink coat to wrap it around his quivering shoulders. When they reached a bench, far from the fighting, Race was finally able to look up and see a dark-skinned woman smiling down at him.

“Y'alright, Sweetheart? I’m Medda.” She reached a hand up gingerly, tissue wadded between her fingers. However, she stopped when Race flinched away, offering it to him instead and smiling sadly as the boy dabbed carefully at his tears.

Sniffling, Race gulped quietly, staring at the tissue in his lap when he was done, “Race.” That was about all he could manage. All he wanted was Spot. Or Jojo. Even Darcy, Jojo’s twin, would do but preferably Spot and Jojo. He didn’t even know where Spot was or if he was safe. It wasn’t like Race’s father hadn’t hit him before, he knew what that man was capable of.

“Okay, Race. I’m a foster mum, so do you mind telling me what all that was about?” Medda slowly brought her hand up, only running it through Race’s sandy curls when he nodded slightly.

A long sigh wracked through Race’s body as he fiddled with the tissue, “Mi papà, he kicked me out three years ago. I haven’t seen my family since. Apparently, he’s still angry.”

Frowning, Medda pulled her hand away as she took out her phone to type something, “Why did he kick you out?” She looked up at Race, obviously being careful not to push the boy too much after his ordeal, “If you don’t mind me asking?”

Race simply shook his head, giving a tiny smile and throwing his head back to look at the sky, “I’m- aww, geez. I’m gay.” When there was silence, Race looked back at Medda, seeing her just staring at him with sheer heartbreak. He sniffed quickly, snapping forwards until his elbows were on his knees and he didn’t have to look at her.

“Tonio?” Quickly lifting his head at the nickname and the voice that he recognised, Race felt a sob building in his throat as he saw his fifteen-year-old brother standing in front of him. The kid looked so confused, glancing back every now and again to make sure that his parents weren’t watching.

Standing immediately and taking him into a tight hug, Race shuddered as he breathed out, “Dante.” He was so happy to see the kid, so happy that he’d come over and gone against their parents.

Feeling a small patch of his shirt turn wet, Race pulled away to see that Dante was starting to cry, “I miss you, Tonio … Are you really all of those terrible things that Papà said?”

Race felt his lip quivering as he looked at just how tall Dante was, how there was no height difference between them, and took him in for another hug, “Sí, Dante, but it’s not terrible. Okay? I love my boyfriend so much and he is so beautiful and when you’re in love, you’ll understand.” Race’s voice was breaking through almost every word, his heart thundering as he waited for Dante to push him away.

“I get it. So’s my boyfriend.”

Pushing Dante away immediately, Race searched his face before barking out a loud laugh and sharing teary smiles, “You little shit!” He laughed, hugging Dante one more time before looking up and seeing his own boyfriend stood there, “Scotty.” He prised Dante away from him, standing with his back straight and taking in the dark bruises already shadowing Spot’s left eye.

Dante looked between the older boys, understanding immediately and stepping back, “I’ll visit sometime? I’ll bring Nathan.” He accepted a quick forehead kiss and a hug from Race before trotting back to find his parents.

“I’ll leave you boys to it. Look, Race, here’s my card. Call me when you get home. You’ve been so brave and I have some kids who could really do with hearing from you.” Medda collected her coat from Race’s outstretched hand and swapped it for her card, smiling at Spot and patting Race on the shoulder before leaving.

There was silence for another few minutes before Race rushed forwards, intertwining his fingers with Spot’s and going to kiss him quickly. However, Spot pushed him away, raising his hands between them as he glanced nervously at the people around them.

None of Spot’s issues with kissing Race in public were to do with Race being male. It was all about Spot’s own personal vendetta against expressing himself with public affection.

“Scott Conlon, I am feeling very emotionally vulnerable right now so, for god’s sake, just hold my damn hand.” All of a sudden, Race had never been more serious. He held his hand out between them, staring at Spot with tears still lingering in his eyes through his cracking words.

Spot only watched him for a second before sighing and taking Race’s hand, squeezing tightly and pulling him into his body, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

Shaking his head, Race sniffed before resting his head on Spot’s shoulder as they begun their walk back to Jojo’s house, “Look, it doesn’t matter now. Okay? We’re going to clean up your eye and I’m going to call that Medda woman and find Dante on Instagram. All that matters is that I love you.”

When there was silence, Race paused. He stopped walking and looked at Spot through watery eyes as the boy shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. Race knew that saying, ‘I love you,’ was hard for Spot but it had been months. Race said it everyday and he knew that it was true. He knew that Spot loved him, he was just the kind of person who needed to hear it.

“Scotty- tell me you need me? I get it, okay, I do. It’s just starting to really fucking hurt my heart that you don’t say, ‘I love you,’ back,” Race lifted their hands, examining the back of Spot’s before lifting his wide eyes to his boyfriend’s, “because I love you … and I need you … and I want you to need me.”

#newsies #rowan writes sprace #sprace #spot/race #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #anon #help #i had too much fun with this #medda larkin #jojo #darcy #angst #newsies fanfiction #rowan writes #fics