#so anyway you know brains suck and I just signed up for a 1.5-hr yoga class tomorrow morning

[fractallogic]

Well... if nothing else, I’m figuring out that when nothing is appealing, I don’t need extra distraction, I need novelty

I can’t identify the intermediate stages between “normal level of stress” and “peak anxiety when no coping mechanisms work”, but, you know, that’s the end goal or something

Anyway I cleaned out my downloads folder and typed some paper notes into zotero before I got the “ugh I hate everything” feeling and decided to think about it instead of clicking play on the next episode of crimebrime, so obviously all of those are wins

I am still stressed because I’m about to miss this deadline that I SET FOR MYSELF to get a rough draft of a less-outliney outline to the profs I’m working with... but I know for a fact one of them isn’t going to look at it this weekend anyway, and I hope the other wouldn’t too. So. Really. I guess I have until Sunday. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#at some point I will learn to treat my brain like a cat #it’s not being destructive to be an asshole #it’s being destructive because it’s bored #you’re not playing with your toys because you’re a shitty materialist #you just need to figure out a new way to play with them #so anyway you know brains suck and I just signed up for a 1.5-hr yoga class tomorrow morning #so that’s probably going to be fine #...probably #whatever