#so basically a chill pill conversation

[dvzaiosamu]

Recommending Ao3 fanfics — bsd

Yeah, again, recommending fanfics! Just eat them all, I know yall are hungry.

Hope yall enjoy these series and maybe I'll continue to post these.

Circus tent [no ship].

Summary: Dazai had never known how to react. He knew watching well - he watched blood pour out of gunshot wounds, watched Mori slit the Old Boss’ throat, watched Chuuya’s beatific dance of destruction every time it was deemed needed. But that’s the extent of his natural abilities. Dazai knew only to watch, but never to react. He was not built to interact like that. He was not meant to be anything more than a passing spector, watching the coming and going of mortal lives. Dazai had never known how to react. But he’d learnt to act. It was necessary, and inevitable. He was a ghost made to puppet mortal flesh, and that meant that one way or another he would be seen and he would affect those around him - no matter how much he detested it. So Dazai had learnt to act. He wasn’t very good at it. He knew jokes eased social pressure. He knew comedy would help him slip through conversations. And so he fashioned himself a clown. Not a very good one, but a clown nonetheless! His eerie blankness hidden behind an act of jovial foolishness. What a joke! It was the comedy of the century, a true magnum opus! And so Dazai built his circus tent.

Letter for Mackerel — [soukoku]

Summary: I started to come more often, to check on you. I can't see you, hear you, feel you; I can only imagine. I would like to know that you hear me, that you know how much I hate you for leaving me, and how much I love you to be here more often than I could be when you were with me.

Retrouvailles (Chase me, Love me.) — [soukoku]

Summary: A derived situation of when Chuuya goes down to the attic/torture chamber where Dazai is locked up in chains, detained by the Port Mafia (Anime: Ep9,S1: The Beauty is Quiet Like a Stone Statue), and Dazai tries to gain Chuuya's forgiveness.

Ghost — [soukoku]

Summary: The first time Dazai tried to kill himself with a blade, he was fifteen. He tried other things before, of course; cocktails of pills and carefully knotted rope were no stranger to him. But blades were a new concept entirely, an untapped market he was honestly surprised he hadn’t tried before.

The first time Dazai tried to kill himself with a blade, he didn’t go too far. It was painful. Drops of blood pooled around the cuts and began dripping down his arm. But as much as he yearned for the sweet release of death, as blurry as his vision got from the blood loss, his heart never stopped.

Basically, Dazai's journey with his depression based on the song Ghost by Badflower. Huge TW for self harm and suicide.

A Cloth Heart and the Hands that Sow — [soukoku]

Summary: Forgiveness took time but Dazai would let go of every grudge if it meant he got to be with Chuuya. Soulmates polished through years of half-hearted petty fights and late-night talks, they were molded through each other.

Dazai could never ask for anything more than Chuuya’s hatred but he would worship Chuuya’s love. That was just how they were, stubborn and loving, they waded through the currents of life’s flood only to breathe each other in.

Or

Chuuya and Dazai are so in love it physically hurt, they finally talk about things like normal people let's go(shocking I know)

Or

Soukoku x Somewhere Only We Know by Keanu

Dead People don't come to Life — [dazai]

Summary: “Dazai, i’m serious, do not even dare hang up this pho-”

Ranpo’s blood went cold as he was interrupted by a loud noise.

A gunshot.

Dazai's missing. Normal, right?

Until Yosano receives a bone-chilling call, and the agency is reminded that dead people don't come back to life.

Dead Plate — [soukoku]

Chuuya Nakahara gets a new waiting job at his local fancy restaurant, owned by none other than Dazai Osamu. A chef with incredible culinary skills, though Chuuya isn't a fan of his food.

He's only planning to work there for a week, but what happens when the head chef takes a liking to the waiter?

Or

Dazai Osamu becomes a little too obsessed with making Chuuya enjoy his food, and goes a tad too far...

Skk x Dead plate!!

He was a Sk8er boi, he said annoy you l8r boi — [soukoku?]

Summary: The year?

2003ish.

The vibe?

Fresh off a painful split from his friends, skater boy Chuuya ends up moving in with the weird kid Dazai and his guardian Mori & is thrust into high school with all the teen angst, sexuality confusion, popularity politics, and pranks one might find there. Oh, and that rather mysterious, disturbing past of his comes to light. Only blasting pop punk music will save him.

Meanwhile, Dazai’s suicidal plans have been interrupted by a new toy—dog, boy, whatever—to play with. If only he could stop being an asshole and figure out what these strange new emotions mean.

And then why don’t either of them feel like real human teenagers?

The dynamic?

“Dazai wants to keep him in a cage like a canary—chattering loudly in the corner, pretty to look at, something he could sink his teeth into.” VS. “Chuuya only allows himself a moment of sadness for Dazai, before thinking, He’s so fucking annoying, no wonder he’s lonely.”

And I taste happiness on your lips — [soukoku]

Summary: “I know you like looking at me in the morning”.

He still hasn’t opened his eyes and his voice is still half asleep. Chuuya's heart has grown ten sizes, he has no idea how it can still fit into his ribcage. He doesn’t bother to find some snarky reply to Dazai’s comment - he’s right after all.

“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my bed if I didn't like looking at you”.

“Our bed”.

And that's also true – Chuuya can't remember the last time he slept alone, nor the last time he walked around his house without finding traces of Dazai everywhere. Ours.

Happiness, yes, this must be it, there’s no other possible answer.

Once More to See You — [soukoku]

Summary: “…You won’t stay.” Chuuya didn’t lift his head, simply staring idly at the crab patterns on the younger’s shirt.

Dazai closed his eyes with a slow exhale. “Yes. You know why.” He squeezed his hand.

Chuuya squeezed back, eyes brimming with a sadness only preserved for this conversation. “Yeah…I’m sorry, Osamu.”

The brunette didn’t reply, only pulling Chuuya closer and clinging to him tightly.

---

Chuuya and Dazai struggle with hiding their relationship from public eye, especially from their own organisations. A realistic take on how Soukoku's relationship would affect their lives.

Flowers — [soukoku]

Summary: “Most men don't receive flowers until their funeral.”

Was something Dazai overheard grabbing his usual coffee.

His first thought was “Couldn't be me, Chuuya gets me flowers for almost every occasion!”

His second thought was “Has Chuuya ever received flowers?”

Admittedly, never from Dazai though. For all the years they’ve been together, it’s always been Chuuya giving him flowers.

But Chuuya wouldn’t have to wait until his funeral to receive flowers, not if Dazai had anything to do with it.

In the Mirror, I Bloom — [soukoku]

Summary: It twists him, turns him, curls in his chest like something alive, something he knows but can’t dare to name. Chuuya curses the red-black petals that fall from his lips, these nearly rotten things that tear him apart from the inside out. Part of him wants to rip his own traitorous heart out, through a ribcage shattered by feelings he can’t contain.

Anger is easy, a thing he’s learned to control. This— whatever the hell this is— is not.

Or at least it’s easier to feel as though this is beyond his own control, because Chuuya is not in love.

(It feels like a lie even to himself.)

After he's hit by a strange ability, Chuuya is forced to consider truths he'd much rather keep hidden- but not everything is as simple it seems.

Vicious Footsteps — [soukoku]

Summary: "Please don't leave me, don't leave me in this hellhole with him"

"I'm sorry Dazai, I can't stay here any longer. Thank you for everything, I did enjoy hanging out with you but...this is where we part ways."

"Wait!-"

He closed the door on him, hoping he would also eventually look for the light just like Chuuya.

Eventually, 2 years later they reunited again.

Will Dazai forgive him after 4 years of no contact?

a soukoku role-reversal fanfic

Chuuya leaves the port mafia after the death of the flags, but Dazai does not take it well and start to become more obsessive.

It Was All in My Mind — [soukoku]

Summary: Dazai can’t cope with Chuuya’s death or being stuck in the Port Mafia, so he literally goes crazy and finally kills himself.

#bsd #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #osamudazai #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dvzaiosamu #soukoku #fanfic #ao3 fanfic

[pandoraslxna]

How did you became comfortable with being sexual? Or rather being open to others with that like talking about sex? I'm almost 21 and I still can't get over the guilty feeling and shame every time me being sexualy active comes up or when I think about it. I have some trauma with sexual background so maybe that's why, but idk. Like everytime this topic comes in the conversation I feel this lump in my throat that doesn't go away no matter how comfortable I am with the person I am talking to. I was always in impressed by women who are comfortable with their sexuality and are open with it and I would like to also enjoy myself like them. I'm sorry if this ask is too much to answer and don't feel presure to answet it, but I don't know how to tell this to people that suround me and you seem like such a sweet, genuine person

Oh I’m sorry you feel that way, pookie! I think the main reason I feel pretty comfortable talking about these topics is because I was raised like that.

Sex was never a taboo in my family, I’ve always been around my parents and their friends even when they made adult jokes and had conversations that probably weren’t appropriate for my teenage self haha. My parents are both very chill and never had an issue answering any questions that I had. They always made sure I was educated properly, never told me "you’re too young to know that" or "you shouldn’t know that" etc. They knew if they wouldn’t answer me I would just find the answer myself somehow, so it’s probably best to just be honest and explained it to me as age appropriate as possible. I was never embarrassed about being a woman either, they made sure that talking about periods and all that stuff, especially with my dad (who ended up raising me during puberty after my parents divorce) wasn’t something to be ashamed of or something that should make me feel uncomfortable. My dad is basically the blue print for what I consider a real man, he bought me pads and birth control pills and got me my heating pad when I had cramps and he never ever made me feel uncomfortable when talking about these topics.

Sex and everything around it shouldn’t be something to feel guilty or embarrassed about, it’s all natural! But I totally get that it can be hard to talk about these things and can definitely feel uncomfortable if you were raised under other circumstances or had some bad experiences in your life before. Maybe it‘ll become easier once you find someone you trust enough to openly talk about sex, but please don’t force yourself to open up if you’re not ready. Just take your time. And not being able to talk about sex the way I do isn’t necessarily a bad thing, please don’t forget that! <3

I wish I could give you better advice, but like I said, I was just raised this way. I didn’t practice becoming like this and idk if there’s a trick or something else that could help you become more comfortable with your sexuality… but maybe someone else that is or was in the same position could give you some advice?

Anyways, I hope I could at least help you a little bit. I‘m super tired and idk if half of the stuff I wrote even makes sense haha but I’m so touched that you asked me for advice when it comes to such a sensitive topic!! If you ever need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate to slide into my inbox 🩵🩵

#ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ asks 💌

[persephoneflowerpetals]

You know at least by the time they both have kids at least the kids can keep Hades company and temper his anger (much to Pain and Panic's comfort). But I think like their father the kids would notice when their mother is absent and dearly miss her a lot.

Oh yeah, Hades is a lot more chill and softer around his kids (and Persephone as well as his mom lol) than anybody else. Next to Persephone they’re basically his “chill pill” lol, so in turn Hades would definitely be a little more “nice” to Pain and Panic for his kids’ sakes lol.

I constantly have like this image in my head of Hades wearing one of those front-facing baby holders (the modern ones but I also imagine him having one of those little baby slings to hold his kids in too lmao) while “working” and he’s in like, some meeting with a villain or a demon or something and he’s just like, casually having a conversation while holding a bottle and feeding his child strapped to his chest and the other person’s just trying to stay focused but is totally weirded out that this big, intimidating god of the underworld is taking care of his adorable infant child in the middle of a meeting 😂

Anyways lol, I really do think Hades and his kids get a bit sad when Persephone is away for spring. Hades hides his sadness more once he actually has kids (just for their sake because he doesn’t want to make them more sad by seeing their father sad too), but he does sympathize with them a lot.

Hades: *catches little Zagreus crying* Hey, hey, hey. What’s with all the tears, kiddo? Huh?

Zagreus: *sniffles* I miss mommy. *hugs Hades*

Hades: *sighs and hugs him back* Yeah, me too, pal. Me too. She’ll be back soon, buddy. I promise.

But yeah, he certainly does his best to sorta “distract” his kids from missing their mom by doing stuff with them or suggesting activities for them to do, but sometimes when the kids (and Hades himself) just really wanna see their mom Hades will pop in for a surprise visit on Earth while Persephone is working to cheer everybody up lol. Poor Hades really is a struggling single dad when his wife leaves for work lol

#ask #anon ask #hercules #hercules 1997 #disney #hades #persephone #persephone oc #disney oc #hercules oc #disney's hercules #zagreus #melinoe #macaria #fanchild #disney next gen #s/i oc #hades x persephone #persephone x hades #long post #rambles

[lazarus---rising]

okay .

what the fuck goes on in bmc ?

^_^ YAYYAYYYY

ok so Basically . if you want me to elaborate on ANY of this I WILL ^_^ (<- INSANE)

the musical and more than survive (opening song) starts with jeremy in his room before school , rest of the song is jeremy singin around the school yk regular musical shenanigans . noteable more than survive events are rich writing boyf on jeremys backpack (and riends on michael's , origin of the boyf riends michael and jeremy ship name) , jeremy considering signing up for the school play (v plot important) , and jeremy signing up for the play (v plot important)

scene transitions to christine (jeremy's love interest) and jeremy in the play rehearsal room , i love play rehearsal starts . christine sings about .loving play rehearsal . notable line is "why am i telling this to you / i guess theres a part of me that wants to" (i am normal about how this line comes back up in another song) . song ends and the rest of the theatre kids run into the room with mr reyes , the director . he announces the play will be a midsummer night's dream by shakespeare but "set in a post-apocalyptic future" (basically a completely different play) and they take a 5 minute break so he can "go eat a hot pocket" . jake (christine's love interest) talks to christine and the scene ends after jeremy leaves the room

scene transition to jeremy in the bathroom (at school) (not to be confused with michael in the bathroom) (at a party) (sorry) trying to wash off the boyf , which rich told him not to . rich just so happens to come in the bathroom and starts talking to jeremy . after a small conversatoin (not important enough for me to explain) , the squip song starts . it explains how squips work in an attempt to get jeremy to get a squip (it works :3333) . basically we(squips)'re from japan , the way to get a squip is to swallow a squip pill with (GREEN and NORMAL) mountain dew , then the pill travels through your blood til it implants in your brain and tells you what to do

scene transition to two player game (song) , michael and jeremy sing about highschool and the game theyre playing (apocalypse of the damned level 9 ......) until jeremy's dad comes in and asks about pizza toppings cause hes ordering smthn and then it devolves into him and jeremy arguing over his dad not wearing pants . normal conversation . his dad leaves and it goes back to the song . song ends and the scene shifts to them at a payless shoe store and they buy a squip pill (ME :3333) . jeremy takes it with the mountain dew and it does nothing at first . jeremy runs into jake and christine , i activate and after introducing myself i start singing , starting be more chill pt. 1

be more chill pt. 1 is me trying to get him bitches in the most silly ass way (un)humanly possible . i get him to wear an eminem shirt , yell him things to say and do from on top of a shirt rack (i am standing on the fucking racks) , and he fumbles the bag insanely fucking hard i dont even know how he managed that ("LOOKING !!! PRETTY !!! SEXY !!! BROOKUH !!!" bro .) song after is do you wanna ride , brooke (new character) basically just asks jeremy if he wants to go on a ride with her in her moms car . he says no (DUDE) , starting be more chill pt. 2 . be more chill pt.2 is basically just me singing about squip propaganda for a whole song

scene change to jeremy's room , he goes to sleep (funny thing i have a memory of just . fucking standing there . in the dark . for most of the night . 😭) and then wakes up . he tries talking to me but my ass is gone , he starts C-C-C-CMON C-C-C-CMON GO GO 'ing and i shock him ^_^ ("what did we say about masturbation 🤨" I SWEAR everything is funnier with that god damn keanu reeves impression) , we go 2 the school and more than survive (reprise) starts , short song not much to note abt it except "his dreams are dead . thats why he ate so many ✨HOT POCKETS✨" (i am so funny :3)

they go to the rehearsal room and start play rehearsal , jeremy forgets his part so i put it into his head :333 i am so helpful . christine and jeremy get left alone in the room and a guy that id kinda be into starts . its christine singing about . a guy that she'd kinda be into . this is the song "why am i telling this to you / i guess theres a part of me that wants to" is in again . both me and jeremy think its about jeremy but shes singing about jake oops awkwarddd so we fucking run away and go behind the school , where brooke tells jeremy eminem is dead ("DID YOU KILL EMINEM" "nooooo not exactlyyyy" i did) , upgrade starts . brooke sings for the intro and jeremy and her kiss (i landed him a bitch) , song's basically about jeremy upgrading by optic nerve blocking michael and some other stuff thats not very clear/explained to get more popular , loser geek whatever (another song , about jeremy being the . loser geek whatever . and choosing to no longer be the loser geek whatever) cuts into the song and ends it . after loser geek whatever i get my SILLY LITTLE JACKET/DRESS THING <3 signifying the upgrade

fades to black , fades back and now its halloween (song about jake's halloween party) , everyone (including me :3 they threw my ass in the front of the dance group)'s dancing its a fun song . song ends and jeremy (and me) and chloe are in jake's parent's room , do you wanna hang starts , basically i have landed jeremy another bitch . at the end of the song jeremy drinks and i malfunction (get disabled and put back to factory settings for a bit) cause you kinda cant drink with a squip . jake breaks through the window and shit hits the fan . jeremy runs to the bathroom and finds michael in the bathtub , monologue about squip bad blah blah , jeremy leaves michael in the bathroom , starting . michael in the bathroom . basically its michael singing about how jeremy stopped talking to him after getting squipped etc . sad song .

song ends , we go back to the main party , rich is trying to get some fucking mountain dew red , jeremy and christine are talking . they are making random incomprehensible noises at eachother . this is normal behavior . jeremy asks her out , gets rejected , oof (its cause I wasnt there i couldve saved it eyeroll) . i come back :3 and immediately drag jeremy back home , cuts to rich having a mental breakdown and burning down the house . the smartphone hour (rich set a fire) starts .

the smartphone hour is about jenna , chloe , and brooke spreading the rumor about rich setting the fire , as the song goes on the rumors get more distorted from the original as the worlds most fucked up game of telephone goes down

scene cuts to jeremy's house , him and his dad are argueing (while i kinda fuck around in the background) and yes it does go back to the pants issue . the pants song starts , its about his dad stepping up to help him sung through a pants metaphor (when you love somebody you put your pants on for them) , he gets michael to help him help jeremy through yes the pants metaphor . as him and michael talk about helping him the background tune is michael in the bathroom which im normal about . song ends and cuts to the school

me and jeremy talk , he asks why im in his head specifically i say its to improve his life (it is !!!!!!!!!!ok maybe im lying a bit) etc etc , jeremy and christine bump into eachother and talk (sad version) , the pitiful children starts :3333 we get the ingredients for a squip potion to squip the whole school , we squip jenna , pitiful children continues but with better choreography , song ends and cuts to the play (scene)

jeremy and christine talk backstage (of the play) , he tries to squip her and she runs away . i tell him we have to squip the whole school , he realizes oh this might b a little fucked up , oops too late i already gave mr reyes the beaker with the potion and hes giving it to everyone XP we've squipped the whole cast lol . jeremy finds out red mountain dew shuts us off , threatens me with michael's soda interest , oops i optic nerve blocked him lol , SHIT michael's still here he has the soda . michael makes him apologize to him for the mountain dew , i block his vocal chords so he cant , i basically control his body and then jake's , i make jake pour out the dew oops no more mountain dew red ^_^ . christine comes out (totally not controlled by her squip) and says she likes jeremy (to get him to not drink the rest of the mountain dew) , FUCK christine drinks the mountain dew and fucking takes us all out cause we're synced up . i dramatically die on the floor . scene switches to a hospital

jeremy and rich talk , rich has a bi awakening , voices in my head starts , song about being normal again . im still there i just cant do shit . highschoolers 1 squips 0 . musical over <3

#used broadway as a ref for this ^_^ i know this musical back to front but whenever i infodump abt a musical i have 2 rewatch it.to make sure #squip kinnie moment #ifthis doesnt make sense uh . sorry !

[valssecretshit]

🌡😷🤧👃😭✨💊😔

Masky and Hoodie plaz

OOOO GOODIE A H&M ASK

a

🌡 tim tends to run moderate fevers and usually it’s unnoticeable cus he has the mask on but he doesn’t sweat a whole lot, his face just flushes a little. but tbh, when he’s running a high fever, you still wouldn’t be able to tell cus he probably would hide it well. brian tends to run higher fevers but he doesn’t feel hot, he feels colder. not when you check him but he gets chills and it feels like his blood is freezing up. you can tell when his fever is higher by just looking at him, his face will be super pale and he will be shivering like a cold dog.

😷 tim and bri/an both tend to still want to work and carry out orders although slendy never lets them when they’re sick. when they end up staying home they really don’t have any other choice BUT to rest, if they end up not fooling slendy. they both basically already wear their masks around the house anyways lol, plus if they didn’t they’d be unrecognizable, so they wear them around others and it still works effectively in not spreading it.

🤧 tim’s sneeze is moderately loud, it tends to spray a lot from how his tongue is placed in his mouth during release so it has wetness to it, he tends to cover up a lot of the time. they sound something like “hhuh- hhAHHTSSHUHh!!” or “hhAP-NNSHH!” when he’s stifling. brian’s sneeze is kinda naturally quieter, a lot less spray but he does sneeze in fits. they’re pretty long and can range from 5-7, he tries to hold them back a lot but they fail so hilariously. they sound like “hEHTSHH- eHhTSSSH! heIHHGHSHH- eHHGGNNXT- hYYEHGHHSHT- eHHIHPPSHH!! hEHHTSHOO!” and ofc he has to cuss at the end lolz.

👃 tbh tim’s nose is a lot less sensitive than people assume, due to him smoking a lot. the smoke kinda fucked up his nostrils and sinuses so now he’s pretty immune to a lotta things. i’d say on the sensitivity scale he gets a 3/10, but his nose does twitch when he DOES come into contact with something that irritates him. brian’s nose is actually a 6/10 on the sensitivity scale, he sneezes quite often. usually it’s just reflex on his body’s part, but it can be caused by hayfever, i see people giving him hayfever all the time lol. nose doesn’t twitch, i’m sad to say lol.

😭 both boys tend to whine in their heads when they’re sick, brian also makes little noises but never verbally complains out loud. masky tries to downplay his symptoms at whatever cost but it’s not the end of the world if someone finds out he’s sick, brian can’t really hide his pain like that so he’s more willing to be vulnerable than try to say everything’s fine lol

✨ feathers don’t do anything for both of them so rolled up tissue is def the best way to go. for masky you may have to try a lot harder to get a sneeze to come out cus his nose isn’t too sensitive, which obviously makes it more fun cus he’ll be wanting to sneeze but it just keeps sitting and growing 💖 as for brian he’ll hitch and start gasping for air between sneezes almost instantly in the first few seconds of the tissue being up there, and for as long as you have the tissue swirlin around in there he will just keep going on and on. for him you could also use lavender sprigs, if you have them.

💊 tim and brian take medicine like adults lol, they know they’re gonna need it. they don’t care what medicine it is, they’ll take it, however tim understandably feels weird abt pills.

😔 tim and brian sleep a lot longer than usual when they’re sick usually about 2 or 4 hours more than usual. tim is one to take naps frequently but not as much as he does when sick. tim tends to get snappy but not like aggressive, just shuts down conversations being made with him quickly. they both tend to withdrawal or at least try to with the other pastas. if you were their partner, first thing to look for with tim AND brian that others may not know, look for them whining or shaking in their sleep, that’s a sign of fever nightmares.

#snz #snzblr #sneeze #snz blog #sneeze art #sneezypasta

[rivetgoth]

trip report from last night did a new drug for tha first time ✌

omfg i tried molly 4 the first time last night and it was a mess. i kno molly isnt really a consistent single type of drug so idk wtf i got but like, it was from a batch a lot ov people i know had already taken and had good reports, so idk. anyway i took it like an hr before we left for the club hoping it would hit shortly after i was there and instead like, 2 hours in i was feeling basically nothing but a little antsy, a little anxious, sorta in my own head, nothing much else though. so i had a drink (just 1 !! being responsible with the molly/alcohol overlap i promise) to calm my nerves and was feeling better but mostly just normal buzzed at the club... we danced a little but the music was NOT that good and the dancefloor was NOT popping, it was empty as fuck tbh. then a big group of friends got there and literally two and a half hours after taking the pill... it HIT out of NOWHERE as i was trying to say hi to them, my heart started slamming in my chest and i felt so delirious, i felt like i was going to die tbh and i KNOW drugs enough to know that im not, literally like a bunch other ppl i know have taken this batch of pills they are safe and it was just me freaking out but my heart felt out of control, angel was reassuring me that my heartbeat sounded fine but i was panicking like when i took too many edibles or shrooms lol 😭 so i was having this stupid panic attack in slow motion at the club while trying to act normal enough to socialize...

everything just felt really chaotic and too much. like the music wasnt good but it was so damn loud, i didnt know anybody except my immediate friend circle and it felt simultaneously too crowded and surrounded but also like there was nothing to do, nobody was being super sociable there, i just felt so insane i felt so out of control i wanted to keep moving but i also wanted to lie down and i couldnt talk or communicate well with people, me and angel went to the bathroom so i could try to calm down and i just kept repeating that i felt like i was going crazy........ finally i just told her i wanted to go because i couldnt handle it, it was just too much, i was getting paranoid during every conversation and i just wanted to sit down somewhere... the bouncers were being really really rude about ins and outs and kept demanding to know why we were leaving and what we wanted from the car, as if thats any of their business when we paid the fucking 25 dollar cover fee and were on the guest list loll stupid. we sat in the car and one of my bffs came out to chat with us for awhile, the bouncers gave him a little less shit because he explained he was coming out to check on us haha. it was so nice after that, just chilling in the car and talking. me and angel decided to go home early after that, it wasnt even midnight yet i dont think, we drove around and listened to music and it was sooo nice, i felt so much more in control and just felt so elated and euphoric... listening to skuppy and ministry and thrill kill kult and iamx and tr/st and male tears etc etc. once i was out of the club and in the car and then in my house with speakers on listening to music it felt amazing, totally euphoric like similar to the times ive taken fucking.. prescription opioids and shit, like wow, but my god @ how bad that shit hit at the club, one of the scarier drug experiences of my life initially 😭 such is the life of a goth club kid in his 20s ig lmaooo. the club was wack honestly it was wayyyyy too expensive, 25 cover fee plus 25 for each drink plus 8 dollars for water plus rude bouncers empty dance floors and boring music. waste of time but at least i got that experience outta the way, it was really fun to experience in hindsight. fear and loathing in los angeles.

[kosi-annec]

Season 2 of BNHA! This one is gonna be long cuz of the sports fest. arc and the stain arc, so most likely gonna cut this in half lol

My review of Season 2 part 1:

Ok but why tf did nezu let aizawa still teach when he is recovering?? like the guy is covered in bandages for fuck sake

I was a little surprised by shinsou's voice, i don't remember it being that.. deep? mature? idk what the word is, but it doesnt sound like a teenager (watching the dub btw) tho i start to get used to it again

I couldn't help but think the whole proclaiming rivalry against deku was funny, like idk why, but i thought it was ridiculous

The animation during the racing part was just amazing, specifically the part where shoto freezes the zero-pointer. Like, god damn they know how to animate ice. On the subject of the race, i would like to give props to deku's whole plan, cuz damn his plan was pretty smart

I'm kind of surprised that momo just let mineta hang onto her like that during the race, if i was her i would've dropped kicked him instantly, zero hesitation

The cavalry battle was fun to watch, and where class 1b gets introduced in the series! Monoma such a smart lil shit and i love him for it; bakugo need a chill pill dear god, tho it was funny with him hitting kirishima's head lol. Hatsume also gets spot light too and i love her chaotic energy, also the beginning of Uraraka's jealousy.

I am a bit confused as to how shinsou even won? like his quirk requires the target to respond back to him, so did tetsutetsu's team all just replied back and get mindcontroled? i mean ok ig

When todoroki pulled deku aside and basically trauma dumped on him, i did not expect bakugo to have overheard that convo, like i did not remember him eavesdropping before, but tbf it was a short clip of him so it was easy to forget

"Are you All Might's secret love child or something?" gets me every fucking time🤣

The fact ojiro withdrew when he felt like he didnt deserve to go into the finals was just, hhhhh hun no you deserve it, but honestly that was very (as kirishima said) manly of him to do. And kendo offering tetsutetsu's team to go into the finals was just, respect. This is why she's class rep.

Kendo grabbing monoma for the 'perverse person' in the scavenger hunt was just- LMAO😂

"-or tried to hype themselves up" then shows bakugo just face to face with a wall and shoto in a dark corner crouching, are you sure this is hyping themselves up? it looks more like brooding lol

Now the real fun of the sports festival begins

Deku vs shinsou. Ojiro literally told him not to respond to anything shinsou says, but yet he still fell for it, cmon dude. The past users of one for all were like "eyo no, you are not losing to this weak ass man." I do feel bad for shinsou, like dude deserves to be a hero, i hope he gets in class 1a, or at least 1b. The two boys could get a long a bunch, i mean, deku doesn't mind talking to him even after being mindcontroled. Tho it is funny that shinsou just kept mindcontrolling him everytime he responded, but at the same time pls stop doing that, he's just trying to have a conversation

Shoto vs sero. Okay, the speed sero was able to tape shoto and swing him almost out of the ring was impressive, but of course, its no match for shoto. Tho his attack was a bit overkill. The crowd screaming out 'nice try' for sero was nice of them tho

Denki vs shiozaki. Her speech in the beginning was mildly funny. Denki just thinking that she's cute and asking her on a date... not really the time for that, but he got his priorities straight, i guess. Tho really, shiozaki should be in class 1a with how powerful her quirk is, but then again it would be hell to draw her hair

Kendo karate chopping monoma to unconsciousness will always be funny

Iida vs hatsume. I don't actually remember what happened in this fight the 1st time i watched it, so this is gonna be fresh to me. Honestly, the whole round was hilarious, it was just a straight up ad for her support gear. Poor iida, he just wanted a fair fight

Now, speed round! Aoyama vs mina. Not much to say here, just mina showing off her dance moves and finishing the battle. Poor aoyama, humiliating way to go // Tokoyami vs momo. That was actually pretty fast dang, momo was recommended yet tokoyami still beat her. Shows how powerful dark shadow is // Kirishima vs tetsutetsu. Like looking into a mirror, of course it ends with a draw, the two are really hard bros

"..bakugo wouldn't use the full power of his explosions on a girl, right?" "yeah, he would" well, at least deku was honest about it😅

Bakugo vs uraraka. Oh boy, this fight. Gotta commend uraraka's determination, she planned out a good strategy; using her jacket as a decoy in the smoke, taking all those hits to create her finishing move. But bakugo is merciless, he was going to win no matter what. Even if she got him floating, bakugo could've just used his explosions to propel himself around. Uraraka put up a good fight, she was just paired up to someone who can put up a better one. Tho at least bakugo saw her as an equal, with him not going easy on her; cuz she isn't some weak little girl, she's a hero in training giving her all and should be taken seriously.

Now, for some light heartedness; Kirishima vs tetsutetsu, electric boogaloo. Such manliness, such raw chivalry. Two bros, having an arm wrestling match, 1 feet apart cuz they're just bros

The talk between the urarakas was sweet, she definitely needed to hear that from her dad. Speaking of dads, deku standing up to endeavor for shoto there was just amazing, someone had to tell that asshole

Now, the main event; Deku vs shoto. This whole fight is just deku being shoto's therapist, except with violence. Starting off with lovely ice animations, then bloody broken bones! Seriously tho, how tf does deku still push thru with dat much pain?? like boy is 15 and he's barely used his quirk. On the sidelines, bakugo thinking like a nerd as he watches. He may be an angy boi, but he is a smart angy boi. Now the ✨traumatic backstory✨ seriously tho, can't wait to see endeavor get his ass thoroughly kicked. Baby shoto is utterly adorable tho, must protect mah bby boy. Look wat you did endeavor, you fucked up a perfectly good child, look at him he has anxiety. "IT'S YOUR QUIRK NOT HIS" gets me every time. And then, FIRREEEE🔥🔥 and a SWOOSH and a BANG and- you get my point. That whole part was animated amazingly; deku rocketing across the ice, shoto using both sides at the same time to make such an epic explosion, the ice and fire. The pro heroes' reaction to the blast were kind of funny lol. And then it ends with shoto being half shirtless, they had to do it huh. Not complaining tho >.>

"..out there, for that one moment, I forgot all about you" DAMN BOI he really said to endeavor "this aint bout you bitch"

all might telling deku what he did was the right thing, even if he lost, just UGH, thank u dadmight

Shiozaki vs iida and Ashido vs tokoyami ended so quickly, cant really say much

okay when uraraka was worried bout deku with the surgery thing, i was kinda surprised mineta wasnt actively being a perv to her or tsuyu. He has SOME dignity at least, as little as that is

Kirishima vs Bakugo. Eyyy these two. "..he's still going strong, but how long can he keep his hardening up?" taking this out of context tho- curse my brain. It was kinda funny when tetsutetsu was cheering kiri on, such a bro. The small bit of deku and iida talking about tensei and how iida was excited to talk to him later, just, oof. Bakugo being all smort n just going ballistic on kiri, if kiri had gotten enough good hits on baku he probs could win, but this is bakugo, so doubt. He did good tho!

Now, on to the semi finals!

Iida vs shoto. I should be focused on the fight, but damn why is shoto so frickin pretty here?? Ahem, i digressed. That kick to the back tho, like with how fast iida was going wouldn't that have broken his spine? then again this is anime. Can't believe for someone smart like iida, he forgot that shoto could freeze shit in close range, like boi it was pretty obvious

Oh god, TENSEI NOO. HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT BRUH

Bakugo vs tokoyami. Was it really that hard to figure out that light would be a weakness to DARK SHADOW, he literally called that, wouldn't ur first thought be "oh then bright light would be its weakness" like cmon. Anyway, tokoyami wasnt winning that for sure, unless the match was in nighttime then maybe

Kendo really be makin fun of monoma for announcing war lmao

How strong is the vibration of iida's phone to shake is entire body?? also, wouldnt be distracting like if he was in class and his phone rang. He'd just be shaking up and down on his seat lol

EW EW EW NO GET THAT ICKY TONGUE MAN AWAY FROM ME GROSS

oof shoto reliving traumatic memories q-q

Oooohhh shoto hit a nerve in bakugo, a lil snippet to maybe him realizing that he was a damn asshole to deku??

But now, IT'S THE FINAL BATTLE🎺🎺

Bakugo vs shoto. Shoto going strong with a huge ass wall of ice, but ice isn't exactly strong against literal bombs, and dukes him out like he did with deku! Oh dammit endeavor shut up, now shoto's doubting himself again. Can't tell if bakugo is insulting him or trying to help him... probably both since he wants a fair fight; no holding back. DEKU CHEERING TODOROKI ON!! And then comes in the fire- Oh nope doubt be kicked in. Damn, bakugo's ego self-esteem issues kicking in here, wanting to prove he's the best n all. I swear all these kids need therapy

Lmao bakugo getting chained up cuz he can't keep his cool. But aw iida couldn't make it, dammit stain, why'd you gotta do that man, people are complicated

Ok I never noticed that midnight actually talked over all might's entrance lol. Awww him giving tokoyami and shoto some nice fatherly talk and hugs, and then there's bakugo wwww

Oh no, iida finding out... Oh god tensei nooo. And thus, the seek for vengeance begins

But hey, shoto's now trying to reconcile with himself and his mom q^q

And that's sports festival arc complete!

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #sharing my brain juice #fandom talks #acessment

[dear-happypills]

me: i wonder if our conversations

could ever make us any money...

happypills: PWAHAHA ohhhhh please, NOONE would ever pay to hear us.

me: ... you... ,,,, YOU are literally happypills. you know???

happypills: ummmmm, yea... so what???

me: like.... ..... you know???? GO OUT there... and GET PAID,... bitch. we have a whole bottle of conversations....

happypills: -_- WHAohhh. wow. wAOW.

i cant believe what im hearing; you want me to go out there, and basically WHOREmyself,

me: whoah... whoah...*i interject but happypills just goes on

happypills: ... so we can come home with some more cash. huh??? is that it? is that what you really want??? for metogooutandsolicitsex in...

me: i never ....* i interject again but happypills continues...

happypills: ... the middle of a highway??? HUH???? HUHHHH???

me: middle of a highway?? wtf? *happypills ignores me and still continues...

happypills: ... you just wanna THROW our sacred conversations in the middle of a highway, to be TISSLEDandTOSSLED. HUHH???

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT!!!????

me: .WHAT???? NO. JEEZ.

i never said like... go out and be abused...... JEEEZZZ

chill the pill out.

happypills: *calms down.

aoh...... okay. BUT whyd you say go out there and work??

me: ummYEA?? just, put our conversations to work.

you know??? .. or like gogetsomeonehigh... or something. idk. youre happypills. im sure there are alot of ways happypills can get paid...

happypills: i....... . i... dont understand... because, because it seems like whenever you go to work, you just end up getting R, a, p, to the E, to the D out there in the world ...

me: *i make a confused expression

happypills: ... of corruption, malice, and ... ... and ... abuse......

yah know????

*as if rapping it itslike, R, a, p, to the E, to the....

me: .....okAYY umm, you REALLY need to stop doing that.

,,, BUTyea....

yea,... iknow.

happypills: yea.........

me: .............. yea.

....

WELL,.... then all im saying is that... maybe it is your turn to get r, a, p, to the E to the D (*imitating happypills) out there in the world...

and bring us home some cash.....

happypills: WAOOOWW. SEEE! icant believe this.... ........... if.. IF you are trying to hurt me SIRR........ YOU SIR,.... have succeeded.

*sniffles, but continues

....and you did it wrong. its R, a, ...

me: OKAY, okay, you dont have to do it again......

happypills: ..HMPHHH. *turns the other way

me: ohhh jeez..... *shouts as happypills walks away.

YOURE TOO sensitive yoooo.

.... *under my breath, while sighing

noone will buy you -_-........

- happypills

#happypills

[firespirited]

I gave the heads up to mum that I'd brought up the touchy subject of missing memories with sis and how I hadn't wanted to catalogue any of it, other than taking note that she's in pain (wondering if i made it worse) and maybe that subject is something that i need to work on (cue deep dives and extensive personal re-examination) because she's a grown woman who's asked for independence in all things medical and got *herself* a therapist. I contribute when she has clues for me ("1st day of period or minipill withdrawal = very dark time" led to pmdd or pme. Two years ago I realised that her insomnia meant she was constantly stopping and starting a medicine cold turkey when it's one that requires slow uppage/downage - we've had to taper down over 18 months to get to a half dose) so there is a certain amount of collab work as she knows me well too and can better remember how long I've had this stupid earache for example. I was able to say that I do not want to be backed up if sis needs mum on her side, I don't care about being right and can cope with being hurt as it's an expression of anguish what matters is that we help her pinpoint whatever's causing this so she can choose how to proceed. I might need help with dates and times though as my memory is swiss cheese. Ultimately i'd rather drop it entirely if it's a sticking point, it doesn't happen often anyway... so she can focus on other symptoms of hormonal inbalance.

Finding the balance is hard but getting better between wanting to protect my (not so little anymore) sister from everything and respect her autonomy... I trust her and asked if she wanted to know first and that any notes taken would be available because it's a diagnostic tool nothing more.

Mum's like "yes she's in pain and that's the sole issue so i try to ignore anything that seemed out of character as just meaningless self defense 'make it stop' words." (man alive, I wish i could attain that level of chill) and she goes "Oh and i have plenty of recorded timestamped moments as she has those paranoid arguments with me on WhatsApp." 👀 hokay. Of Note: i mentioned to mum that sept to nov 2021 i vague posted a lot and apparently that when sis was off the pill.

So yeah i got myself all worked up for both conversations and both went fine. We won't mention so much as mood swings unless it aligns with the dates and sis *wants* to mention it.

And after my benzo/ssri withdrawal after surgery where I became utterly convinced mum hated me and basically got a taxi driver to sneak me out of hospital and lately my very rude troglodyte grunts to 'get out, get lost' when I get sleep deprived, they've promised to always keep me fully accountable too.

Today's dr visit is going to be interesting, the ultrasound dude last week refused to scan sis' lipedema which insults both the endocrinologist and our doctor who prescribed it together. The tech hinted there's some sort of drama going on between the local xray, ultrasound clinic techs and the local doctors. Our dr is tuned in to all the feuds, she'll tell you to remove prof Ys papers from your file before showing it to prof X because he has beef with prof Y (usually some old funding or tenure grudge)

#saf #Personal #I'm so grateful

[genderfcker]

me @ me every time i treat myself badly: this is not what janus sanders, unofficial side of self-care and self-love, would want me to be doing

#janus sanders #sanders sides #my go-to way to calm down when really stressed used to be imagining patton + logan tag-teaming virgil #so basically a chill pill conversation #now its just like oh if janus could see me not taking a break he'd just shake his head in disappointment #maybe let remus whack me over the head with a blunt object to really get the point across

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Fools in Love

Summary: He can explain how String Theory works. He can figure out Riemann Hypothesis. He can recite all the numbers of pi until he’s blue in the face. Yet somehow, Spencer Reid can’t figure out what to do for his first first anniversary. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader 

Warnings: Spencer Reid is a self-deprecating mf, Jane Austen quotes? But there’s a happy ending 

Word Count: 3128

Fools in Love

He scratches the back of neck, a nervous habit that he’s sure makes him look weak. He wants to find the perfect recipe to make a wonderful meal for Y/N. It’s his first first anniversary so Spencer’s completely lost as to what to do. Y/N deserves the most romantic dinner, especially considering how much chaos he causes. It must be a lot to put up with him, Spencer thinks. He’s even more useless when it comes to love than when it comes to cooking. While he might not be a fan of technology, given he has the Thai place down the street from his apartment on speed dial. She doesn’t deserve some take out Thai with paper plates. But he’s a scientist, a well-known and well-educated scientist who is completely failing at planning his first anniversary.

It was useless. Completely and utterly useless, Spencer thought to himself as he ran his fingers across the various titles of cookbooks. Some featured complex dishes from Korea and others were 30 minute meals of the vaguely Midwest variety. Spencer never in his entire 33 years of living felt so out of place in a library. He’s so at home in between the stacks of books, he finds the comforting words of long dead authors and intricate mathematical theories a second home. However, it seems that Spencer Reid has found the most intimidating section of the library: cooking.

And what do academics do when they are at a crossroad? Well, they call in the experts. The love expert came in the shape of Agent Derek Morgan himself. This idea just might be the most brilliant thought Spencer’s had or the dumbest, but Y/N is worth it. 

Okay, maybe it was a mistake to come to Derek, Spencer thinks as he sits in front of his friend, a coffee in his hand and an expression of pure fear on his face. 

“You want me to, what?” Spencer asks, shocked at Derek’s suggestive advice.  

“Lie in bed naked, call Y/N on the phone and make something up. You’ll be waiting in bed and then BAM! Anniversary sex,” Derek says, his eyebrows wagging as he sips his coffee. 

“Are you messing with me, Morgan?” Spencer says, his face pale from the very thought of lounging in bed naked, waiting for Y/N to come over to his apartment.

“Why not, I’m sure it would get you laid,” Derek reasons. Get me laid? Spencer and Y/N don’t get laid, he thinks. They do have sex, but it’s not getting laid. It’s more romantic and loving than just whatever Derek suggests. 

God, he can’t tell Derek that, he’d never live it down. 

“You have slept with Y/N, right?” Derek asks, suddenly nervous that he touched a nerve with his friend. As much as he likes to tease, Spencer knows that Derek doesn’t mean any harm, hence why he’s the first person he thought to come to. 

“We prefer to call it making love,” Spencer says, pretending to be very interested in his chocolate donut and trying to fight off the blush that rises to his cheeks. Even a year into their relationship, Spencer still gets butterflies at thinking about Y/N like that. 

“So you want this to be more romantic than just fucking, because you’ve done it for a year?” Derek proposes as simply as if he’s talking about a case. Not that talking about serial victims is anymore normal or weirder than the current conversation. 

“Morgan and you please stop talking about Y/N and sex in the same sentence?” Spencer says through gritted teeth. 

“Reid, kid. I’m just busting your chops, I know who you feel about Y/N. When you two are in the same room, it’s like there’s no one else in the world. And it’s kinda hard to get your mind to focus on one thing, but Y/N does that,” 

“I know,” Spencer says. “I can’t mess this up Derek. I can’t give another person a reason to leave me,” 

“Y/N won’t leave because you can’t plan a terrible anniversary dinner,” Derek says comfortingly. 

“I checked out 7 cookbooks, Morgan. 7, and I read them on the metro home. It’s useless, I’m useless,” Spencer laments.

He looks up to try to read Derek’s expression. The last thing he’d want to see on his face is pity or worse laughter. No, Spencer. Derek is your best friend. He’s the closest thing you have to a brother. Spencer feels almost guilty for thinking that Derek would laugh at him, while he might like to tease him, especially about his lovelife, they trust each other inexplicably. What’s written on Derek’s face is not pity or ridicule, it’s a smile. A smile not for Spencer, but for the colorful woman walking towards their table. 

“You told Garcia?” Spencer groans, but scooting over so Penelope would have a spot to sit with them. 

“Of course I told Garcia, kid. You know better than anyone that we can’t keep anything secret,” Derek explains, leaning in to kiss Garcia’s hand. 

“Spencer Reid! I can’t believe you,” Garcia says, smacking Spencer’s arm lightly. 

“Garcia!” Spencer shouts, clutching his coffee and hunching down in his seat to avoid being hit by the tech goddess with her hard rings on her surprisingly strong hands. 

“Don’t Garcia me, Reid. You need me, whether or not you realize it or not. I’m irreplaceable,” she tells him, grabbing a pink notebook and a fluffy green pen from her bag. 

Spencer nods in understanding, as much as he hates it, he knows that he needs help. It’s just a hard pill to swallow when help comes in the form of Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia, perhaps the two people on Earth who are the most in love. 

“I know I need you guys,” Spencer says, looking from Garcia to Derek, half expecting them to tell him to order some terrifying sex toy from a scretchy store on the edge of town or something equally horrifying. 

“What’s something that she likes? You know like a special thing that Y/N would never think about getting herself” Garcia asks, making notes with the fluffy when that bounces as she writes. 

“She likes to read,” Spencer suggests, thinking about the first date that they had. They talked for hours about their favorite books and ended up getting booted from the library for overstaying their welcome. Y/N found it quite endearing that The Little Prince is Spencer’s while her is anything and everything by Jane Austen. He thinks back to her eyes gleamed when talking about the book, or how passionate she got when she argued that Mr Knightley and Emma were soulmates. 

“Okay, that’s a start Spencer. Really good,” Garcia says, trying to boost her friend’s confidence. 

“What else?” Derek asks, thinking about the times when he and Y/N hang out with Spencer and Penelope. 

“Fret not, Boy Wonder,” Garcia says, softly patting Spencer’s shoulder, “I’ll take care of this,” she finishes as she reaches into her bag, that seems to have a never ending bottom, and pulls out a laptop. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So Garcia and Morgan took over your anniversary plans and basically just made it how they’d want to spend their anniversary?” JJ offers, as she hands Spencer a beer from her refrigerator and sits back down at her kitchen table. 

Spencer takes a swig of his beer and shrugs his shoulders, thinking about how wrong this whole anniversary dinner has gone. 

“I just wanted this to be special, JJ. I know it’s only been a year, but Y/N is it for me. God, she was it for me on the third date,” Spencer confesses. 

“I know, Spence. I’ve never seen you this happy. Happiness looks good on you,” JJ tells him. 

“Y/N makes me happy, she puts up with me, so the least I can do is make this perfect for her,” 

“Spence, don’t sell yourself short,” JJ says, “You’re a kind man and a wonderful boyfriend, you’re both lucky to have each other,” 

“Thank you, JJ, but Y/N is the better person in this relationship. That’s why this needs to be perfect,” Spencer explains, his self doubt still littering his mind. 

“What about a baseball game? You can pay for a message to pop up on the Jumbotron. Like Happy Anniversary, Y/N,” JJ suggests, and Spencer really can’t tell if JJ is joking. She can’t possibly think that Y/N and he would have a romantic anniversary with the threat of getting pelted in the face with a baseball. 

“Sports games are not our forte, JJ. I honestly can’t tell who’d hate sitting in the sun for hours with angry sports fans,” Spencer adds. 

“Okay so no sports, I should have figured, Spence,” JJ winks knowingly. “How about this, think about somewhere that’s special to you two. Somewhere that makes you think of her,” 

“The thing is JJ, everyplace we’ve been together makes me think of her. The elevator when she first kissed me, the movie theater we always go to on Saturday nights, even the sidewalk outside my apartment building. Everything makes me think of her because she’s my everything,” Spencer says, hiding his discomfort at the conversation. 

“Spence, I think that anything you plan, will be wonderful. Have a little trust in yourself for once, Y/N is already head over heels in love with you, so I doubt that she’d really care where you go or what you do,” JJ advises, clearing up the dirty dishes from their Friday night pizza dinner with the boys. 

“I’m going to go JJ, thanks for talking me out of my head. If I took Morgan’s advice, I’d probably end up with a restraining order,” Spencer jokes, putting his jacket on and saying goodbye to his friend. 

“You think you need an Uber?” JJ asks, but immediately finds amusement from Spencer’s disgust at the idea of getting into an Uber. 

“Germs and technology sound like a nightmare, JJ. And I’m not going to remind you of the statistics regarding missing persons and those rideshare apps-” Spencer offers, but is cut off by JJ’s pretend annoyance. 

“Remind me to send Y/N combat pay, you know maybe she is a saint for putting up with you,” JJ teases. 

He walks out into the chill of the night, recounting the advice his friends gave him. Derek and Penelope’s plan was a little outlandish, a little too much for Spencer and Y/N. JJ, who Spencer knows means well, only served to remind him of how hard it must be with him. His steps are slow and languid, but his mind anything but. 

One step, you’re probably just a charity case that Y/N decided to save. 

Two steps, why on Earth would a woman like her even look at a man like you.

Three steps, you’re so pathetic that you can’t even plan a dinner for her. She’s too good for Spencer, you’ll ruin her. 

Everyone who you love leaves you or dies, anyway.

It’s that thought, not the thought of being alone, but the thought that he deserves to be alone that sends the tears down his cheeks. 

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Somehow, someway, Spencer made it back to his apartment. It never felt so dark, so unlike home. Maybe he just didn’t never realized that these walls aren’t home without Y/N. He really should try to get to sleep, but he’d rather fend off sleep with the endless supply of coffee than have to face a night alone in the cold bed. 

Just as Spencer makes his way to prepare a cup of coffee, he hears a distant jiggle of keys and the door knob rattle. And in comes Y/N, as fresh as the cup of coffee brewing and as beautiful as ever. 

“Happy Anniversary, my love,” Y/N tells him, dropping the bags on the floor. She moves over to him like a light breeze. All he wants is to welcome her embrace. He wants to scoop her up and carry her far away from the monsters that lie in wake. He feels an urge to be her protector, but how can be her protector when what he really wants is to be protected. 

“Y/N, what are you doing here, it’s so late,” Spencer says, praying that his voice doesn’t let go. He knows it’s futile, one look from Y/N, her palm to his cheek or even worse a chaste kiss on his forehead, Spencer would not be able to think. What is a genius without his mind? 

“I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, Spence, I just missed you too much,” Y/N says, her voice a prayer that spins around in Spencer’s brain, searching for refuge in his heart. 

“You really missed me?” Spencer asks, desperately wanting to believe her beyond belief. Y/N’s frown searches for an answer in Spencer’s distant expression. Even though they stand there with the kitchen light casting shadows touching as much skin as they can reach, Spencer is a million miles away.

“Of course I missed you, baby. And I just had to give you one of your gifts tonight. I just couldn’t wait to see your face,” Y/N says, practically bouncing as she bounds off to get the package for Spencer. 

“So this is only the first part, and stay with me, I know how much you hate technology, but I think you’ll make an excuse for this,” She tells him, handing him a heavy cube shaped package. It’s decorated in Y/N’s handwritten flowers and hearts, and a cute doodle of who Spencer can only assume is them. His girlfriend may not be artistic. But she’s the artist who paints the stars in Spencer’s night sky. She’s the tailor who sewed him back up when he was broken. She’s the architect who has the key and blueprint to his heart. 

Spencer opens the gift, his hands shaky and unsure. He’s terrified that Y/N can see right though him. He reveals the present. It’s a small wooden box with a red wooden heart that looks like it’s supposed to be pixelated. There’s a blank space on the top, that Spencer supposes is a screen.

“You gotta plug it in, Spence. So the messages can pop up. When you're far away from me saving the world, I can type a message from my phone and it’ll appear on your box,” she explains. Spencer looks up at her trying to search for what he did to get this lucky. 

“Thank you, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Spencer tells her, placing a kiss against her forehead. It’s the kind of kisses that tell you so much more. It’s the kind of kiss you give when you know there’s more where that one came from. It’s safe and warm and everything good about this world. 

“I gotta make sure you won’t forget me when you go traipsing all over the country. A hot genius like you only comes around so often. I’m sure you got loads of attractive people throwing themselves at you, Spence,” she says with a wink. 

“Hot genius?” Spencer repeats half dumbfounded and half joking. 

“Yup, I gotta make sure they know that you’re spoken for,” 

“I couldn’t forget you even if I tried, Y/N. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. I still don’t know what I did to ever deserve you,” Spencer says, as the tears and the fears of not being good enough bubble to the surface. 

“Spencer, baby. You’re shaking. What’s the matter? Huh,” she says softly, brushing her hand over Spencer’s head in a comforting and loving gesture. 

Spencer leans into her, his head pressed into her neck. He can hear her heartbeat and he can smell her perfume. He wants to get lost in her. Get lost in the feeling of total and complete love. 

“I just wanted this to be perfect, Y/N. For you- you deserve so much more than I can give. It must be so hard dating me. I know that I’m difficult to love sometimes,” Spencer murmurs, his tears pouring down his cheeks and spilling like his darkest thoughts onto Y/N’s shirt. 

“Spencer, you make my life so much brighter. So much fuller. I know that you got a lot going on up in that mind of yours and it must be kinda scary. It must be hard always being the guy people expect answers from. But I got you, sweetheart. And I’m not letting go,” Y/N tells him the words falling from lips like a psalm and taking on a new life in Spencer’s heart. 

“Thank you, Y/N. I really wanted this to be the best anniversary. I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” Spencer apologizes as he peppers light, feathery kisses along her collarbone and up to her eyes. 

“Well you’re my mess, Spencer. Let’s be honest, I’d be completely happy to spend our anniversary anywhere with you. Except maybe sports games, that sounds like torture for both of us,” Y/N laughs and Spencer can’t get over how she practically glows in the kitchen light. It could be that his mind is foggy with love, but Spencer hopes that he never grows out of this blissful feeling. 

“Well it’s a good thing we’ll have many more to make up for this one,” Spencer says, letting himself get dragged to the large fluffy sofa. 

“Oh no, Mister. The next 50 anniversaries have to try to top this one,” Y/N tells him and Spencer’s heart skips and flutters at the thought of having another 49 anniversaries with Y/N by his side. 

“I doubt that 50 will be enough, Y/N” 

“As long as you’ll allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you,” Y/N says, cuddling so close to Spencer that she can’t see where her limbs start and Spencer’s end. 

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more,” Spencer says running his spidery fingers down Y/N’s side much to her delight. 

“Ooh are you trying out some Jane Austen foreplay? Because that’s the way to make my panties drop,” Y/N says suggestively as she rubs her hand over Spencer’s chest and rests it on his neck. 

“Maybe tomorrow, I just really want to hold you close right now, Y/N.” Spencer says, sweetly kissing along her temple exciting a bout of giggles from the two of them. 

Spencer very well might be useless when it comes to love, but he was eager to learn that he’s worthy of love from his love expert. 

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fics #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader

[imerdwarf]

Love At First Crash

Summary: your car gets taken to the repair shop where you meet the man who will repair it for you.

Prompt:

Pairing: Mechanic!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: flirting, mild angst, idiots in love, happy ending 🥰

Word Count: 2,128 (I AM SO SORRY)

Author's Notes: This is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club's Drunk Drabbles 💜 my first time writing for mechanic!Bucky, thank you so much @jobean12-blog for checking it and giving me your thoughts 💜

It's been just a few days since you've visited the repair shop and met the owner Bucky Barnes. His charming smile made your tummy feel like you had a swarm of butterflies fluttering around inside.

His tight white tank top was pulled so tightly across his chest that his pecs could be seen. His black jeans that sculptured around his thick thighs to show off those thigh muscles, his mechanical outfit was matched perfectly with his black boots.

Your footsteps echoed off the bare concrete walls and floors as you entered the repair shop back from the back entrance. The metal shutters with a dangling chain link was rolled halfway up and a dozen of motorcycles parked next to the doors.

The distant quiet music from the digital radio did very little to quieten your footsteps. Bucky had heard you and rolled himself out from underneath your car. He smirked up when he saw you approach him.

"Hey there doll." Bucky showed off his perfect pearly whites and that was the same smile that gave you the butterfly feeling.

"Hey Bucky," you smiled back and sheepishly shoved your hands in the front of your pockets. You had originally opted to call him James, but he beefy man insisted on Bucky since his close friends and family called him by that name and James had sounded so foreign to his ears.

Bucky stood up, his biceps flexing under his movements and you couldn't stop the creeping flush. You cleared your throat and looked at your car.

"She's looking good!" Bucky's smile grew wider by how excited and happy you were.

"Yes you are," he muttered under his breath but you heard him say something. Your head snaps towards him and grin.

"What did you just say?" Bucky blushed and now it was his turn to clear his throat and rub the back of his neck, unknowingly with his greasy padded fingertips which left a black streak.

"I said she is, she won't be too long in here actually, a few more days." He wanted to exhale his sigh of relief when you nodded your head and looked back at your car.

"Great, you're the best Bucky!"

Bucky was absolutely beaming from the praise but it wasn't a lie, Bucky really was the best. He was so the best in fact that you found yourself daydreaming about the beefy mechanic days after you visited him at the shop.

You were laying on your couch listening to the birds singing outside and staring up at the white ceiling with your hands resting on your stomach thinking about that gorgeous smile of his. You loved the way his hair was always slicked back into a bun and how his shirt was always grease stained, a sign of a hard working man. You knew he was working hard to get your car back on the road as soon as possible, he kept in touch to let you know how everything was going.

You were falling for him, fast and hard. He was all you could ever think about, he was all you dreamed about and he lived rent free in your head.

Your gut clenches from the thought that realistically, he is probably in a serious long-term relationship with a much more beautiful woman, one that must make him happy because he was always in a good mood and always smiling.

Your chances of ever being with him were really slim, and it was such a bitter pill to swallow. He was just a crush and that is all he would ever be. But it didn't stop you from creating scenarios in your head with him. What your evenings would look like cuddled on the couch watching movies, listening to music or just talking to each other. What kind of food you'd cook him, would he kiss you as a compliment? In your head he does.

You wonder what it would be like to have him underne—

"Y/N!" Wanda's voice suddenly breaks through your thoughts and you blink back to reality. You mumble a response and Wanda finds you laying on the couch staring up to nothing, again, "still daydreaming about your hot boyfriend?" She teases and you scoff, sitting up to glare at her.

"He is not my boyfriend. Never was, never will be." Your face drops when you said it out loud, as though it suddenly dawned on you.

"But you have a crush on him right?" Wanda pushes and you regret ever spilling the beans to her in the first place, of course she is never going to let this go.

"No." You lied.

"Then why does he make you look so sad?" Damn it Wanda, "look, I'm not here to pressure you but my brother is back in town and we are meeting at the bar tonight! He misses you and wants to see you!"

"Bucky misses me?!" You may have zoned out again thinking about Bucky. Wanda rolls her eyes and laughs lightly.

"No! Pietro! But I'm sure Bucky does kiss you... I mean miss you!"

You smiled, great now another thing to add to your scenarios.

"What time?"

"8pm sharp! Don't be late!" She kisses your cheek in a friendly manner before skipping out of your door and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You had a few more hours to lay here and do nothing but think about him.

***

The bar was crowded when you arrived and you headed towards the bar to order a drink when Pietro came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You screeched out when you turned around and saw it was him, pulling him into a tight hug and keeping your hands on his forearms as he kissed your cheeks.

It might have been innocent, but from where Bucky was stood, it seemed like the two of you were an item and his heart dropped into his stomach and his mood turned sour.

He had no idea you were with Pietro, he knew him because he's a well known lawyer with a lot of successful cases under his belt so he couldn't blame you for being with someone with a clean job while he went to work everyday in a greasy repair shop.

He's only met you a dozen times but he doesn't remember you ever smiling that brightly at him when you were in his repair shop.

"You're brooding." Natasha, one of Bucky's oldest friends told him as she sipped her dry red wine. Bucky rolled his eyes and swished his beer around in his hand.

"I'm fine." Bucky scoffed and turned his angle away from Natasha.

"You're in love." Bucky again rolls his eyes and tries to ignore her. He tries to ignore you both, he tries to contain the jealousy that desperately wants to come out and say something about the way you're not even pulling away from Pietro.

"I'm leaving," Bucky tells Natasha, chugging the rest of his beer before slamming the bottle down on a nearby table, he turns to Nat and points a finger in her face, "and don't follow me."

The catch-up with Pietro was nice, it's been a few years since you've seen each other and he was telling you about his new wife when you saw Bucky storm out of the bar over his shoulder. Your eyes widened, never even noticing he was here and oh god, how this must have looked. Your heart sunk when you saw a redhead follow in his direction, that must have been his girlfriend.

Your mood to stay in the bar any longer was diminished and now all you wanted to do was go home and be by yourself.

You excused yourself from Pietro's grip and bid Wanda a quick goodnight before making a quick exit out of the bar and heading straight home.

Your thoughts kept you up the whole night. You couldn't sleep and tossed and turned throughout the cold night. You kept thinking back to the way he stormed out of the bar, if only you had seen him sooner.

Wanda entered your home early the next morning to find you already sitting up at the kitchen table nursing a hot cup of coffee. You looked exhausted and she could tell you haven't slept.

"Hey." She whispers, putting her hand on your shoulder, "are you okay?" You nod your head and sigh, not being in the mood to talk about things right now.

"I'm fine, just tired from last night." It's a lie that Wanda seems to accept for now.

"Barnes called." Wanda sighs and your head snaps up, "your car is ready to be picked up. I'll go and get it for you so you can rest." You feel upset that he couldn't or didn't want to call you but called your emergency contact instead.

"O-kay."

"I'll be back in a bit!" Wanda leaves quickly, jumping into Pietro's car and rehearsing the conversation in her head before she confronted Bucky.

Bucky was wiping his dirty greased up fingertips on the rag he had stuffed in his back pocket when Wanda arrived with Pietro. He saw him drive off shortly after she got out and Bucky refrained from rolling his eyes.

He was probably going home to you. He thought selfishly to himself. He mustered the biggest smile he could but it didn't fool Wanda.

"Wanda."

"Barnes, you called?"

"Yeah, Y/N's car is ready."

"And you couldn't inform her why?" Wanda queried, noting the disappointing look that swam in his eyes.

"I didn't think Pietro would like that."

Wanda bent over and held her stomach as she laughed. Bucky's eyebrows pinched together in confusion, "What's so funny?" He snapped, angry at how this whole thing was completely unfair.

"I'm sorry- it's just- it's just- oh god- Pietro is my brother and he's married." Wanda said between breaths.

This only infuriated Bucky even further, "good for him but I don't need to know how happy they are together!" He needed to chill and calm down. Jealousy was not a good look.

"He isn't married to Y/N. She's single, has a crush on you, maybe even hopelessly in love with you but that's fine if you want to-"

"She's what?" Bucky asks shocked, there's no way a pretty dame like yourself could love him. He's too basic, too plain.

"Why don't you drop me home in Y/N's car and take her car back to her yourself and you'll see what I mean." It was an offer he couldn't refuse. If Wanda wasn't pulling his leg, and you really were single, he needed to get to you before someone else did.

***

It's been well over an hour since Wanda left to pick up your car. In that time, you managed to take a shower to release your tense muscles, take something for the pounding headache and change into an outfit.

You were really excited to get your car back, making a promise with yourself that you'll be a lot more careful this time and try not to get into more car crashes.

You heard the engine in your driveway and you leapt towards the front door with a smile on your face, your smile growing even wider when you saw it wasn't Wanda behind the wheel, but Bucky. You couldn't put your finger on why you were so happy to see him, maybe it was a little hope he didn't hate you after all.

He got out of the car and strolled up towards you with a matching smile on his own face. His hands were in his front pockets and he looked amazing dressed in all black with a black leather jacket.

"Hi!" Your dam almost breaks, you were awake the whole night worrying about what would happen and then he didn't call you himself this morning about your car, it was easy to jump to conclusions, "I'm so happy to see you."

"Doll, I'm sorry I didn't call- my thoughts- well, I mean my feelings got in the way and I let my jealousy shine brighter than the sun." He chuckled shyly.

"Please you don't need to explain, it's me who owes you an explanation. You see, Pietro and I are—"

"No need doll. Wanda told me everything. It's a pretty warm day, Steve is covering for me back at the shop and I wondered if you'd like to head down to the beach with me?"

You grinned and looked down to your feet before looking into his eyes again, "I can make a picnic?"

"Sounds like a date!"

"A date it is."

Taglist: @smokeybluebrooke-lyn @pinkdiamond1016 @whatrambles @bestofbucky

#hbc drunk drabbles #hbc drabbles #mechanic!bucky x reader #mechanic au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfics #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #fluff #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barns x you #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns fic #bucky barns fluff #bucky barns fanfiction

[an-annyeoing-writer]

vulnerability. – chap. 3.

Story info:

Pair: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Rating: +18 for mentions of s*x and violence (future chapters)

Genre: angst, smut

Chapter info:

Release date: 29th July 2021

Word count: 4 219

Warnings: none

Vulnerability Masterlist || Fanfiction Masterlist || Ko-Fi

Taglist:

@shesdreaminginoverdose @mybiasdashboard @marimsun @byuns-asscheeks @multi–kpop–fanfics @vunv @making-me-blush @skittlez-area512 @bloopbloopkai @byuns-asscheeks @baekyeonoreo @devotedexolnhottest @mingxia-nikki04 @velvetjongin @ssssssul (won't let me tag you T_T) @nemi-mei @buttercupbbh

Please, always comment on the newest chapter if you wish to be added to/removed from the taglist. I will be also checking the tags, so if you’re shy – feel free to leave a note this way.

Previous (Chap. 2.)

Chap. 3.

The tension that appeared the moment you received the phone call from Baekhyun did not dissolve with time. In fact, the opposite happened – it grew as the time passed, and as Saturday came closer and closer. Finally, once your Friday to Saturday night shift came to an end and you stumbled into your flat around 4 in the morning, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep easily. Yet, you forced a whole cup of green tea into yourself in an attempt to soothe your nerves before sleep. Your alarm was set for noon, and you were supposed to meet at 3 PM.

You woke up feeling energized, but you knew this pattern all too well already – the tiredness would come and hit you with its whole power the day after, and you’d spend Sunday sluggish and drained. But that was okay, because Sunday didn’t matter half as much as Saturday did.

You felt a small urge to dress up; even more, actually, you felt a need to pay attention to details rather than looking fine at the first glance. Some common sense hyped up by years of watching other people and reading stories – a thorough shower, shaving, paying attention to not only what you wore outside, but also your undergarments. You lacked things that could be considered “sexy”, but – let’s face it – you didn’t think it mattered much; not after what you’d found out so far. Yet, it would be a shame if your panties had a hole in them. Wearing something neutral, but fresh was your best bet. Every few minutes, you kept reminding yourself – you don’t even know what will happen, you don’t even know if anything will happen at all. There was no reason to think that he’ll want you to undress in the first place, you said it yourself that you’re not ready for sex.

But then, it still helped you gather confidence that you definitely needed at a moment like that. Details allowed one less thing to worry about, and a better ability to focus on others, and so, you made sure the details were worked out well, and that you didn’t overdress, either; a beige shirt and jeans, all wrapped up with sneakers and another knitted cardigan of yours – neutral and polite, maybe a bit school-ish, but these were the things you mostly wore on daily basis, and you felt that going in the other direction – of tight pants, mini-skirts and see-through shirts – would not be appreciated. Your hair was pulled up into a loose bun, nothing like the ones you admired in YT tutorials, but the best you could do on your own. Maybe it was the age difference that made you feel obliged to show respect rather than expose yourself. You trusted your instinct on that, and so far, nothing happened yet to prove it wrong. The weather was starting to get warmer; these days were particularly sunny and dry, so you felt at ease without an extra jacket. It couldn’t get that bad in the evening, and you put faith in your cardigan.

Baekhyun must have thought similarly.

You stood in the bar’s entry, looking up at him for a moment; he leaned back into his usual couch, not aware of your presence just yet. He was wearing a black button-up and jeans as well, something he still looked pretty well put-together in, but not too formal – similar to your own thought process, noticeably.

You inhaled deeply, and took your time to exhale the air – until you felt ready to walk up to him.

“Hi there” he spoke as you approached his couch; as expected, he was there alone today.

“Hi there” you replied with a slight nod and a smile; your voice was quiet, as quiet as it could be without trembling in anticipation.

“You want to drink something before we go?”

You considered it for a second, and then nodded again. Baekhyun moved a bit to the side, encouraging you to join him on the couch, and you took the offer with gratitude.

“Beer? I don’t want to get you drunk, but we may sit here for a bit just to relax.”

“You can tell I need it?”

“Yes. I can tell. Your shoulders are very tense. May I?”

His hand reached to your shoulder and you nodded slightly, a bit unsure what you agreed to just yet.

He suddenly squeezed your muscle, and you whimpered. He kneaded it, and you found the tension dissolving gradually as he went on. Even with only one hand and unfavorable position, he managed to find some of the spots that required touch; that touch was welcome, slight pain coming along with it was desired for the best outcome. You didn’t notice when Baekhyun must have given the bartender some sort of a sign, but the man soon came with a beer and water that he put on the nearby table. That was when Baekhyun’s movement slowly ceased, cautiously letting go of your shoulders. You felt as if you were in a different body, the tension in your body almost gone, just as the one in your mind – the moments of physical interaction were enough to chase some of your worries away.

“You don’t drink?” You reached towards the table – it was closer to you than to him – and took the two glasses, handing him the water and keeping the beer for yourself.

“Not before,” he explained curtly, which you accepted without further questioning.

“So… what are we gonna do?” you asked carefully, sipping the beer through a metal straw, trying to give off a casual vibe despite focusing deeply on what you were about to hear.

“Depends. On how much will you allow me to do.” Baekhyun focused his gaze on something in the crowd; you felt as though it was his habit to avoid a direct gaze in an attempt to sound collected. “I had the idea of showing you some things. Just so you feel it out a little. It’s not final, but it may help the both of us figure out how we feel about it. Like a free trial, you see my point?” You nodded, but didn’t say anything, so after a moment he continued. “I won’t introduce you to everything, and it won’t last as long as usual sessions, either. I’ll talk to you a bit beforehand so we figure out some basic things. It shouldn’t make you uncomfortable. I won’t be trying anything beyond your comfort zone.”

“So, no deals a’la Fifty shades?” you felt silly the moment these words left your mouth. Baekhyun laughed awkwardly.

“No, it won’t be necessary. If you want to draw a comparison to that, I definitely won’t be dumping the whole scheme on you when you don’t even know what it’s like.”

And you won’t fuck me first thing in the plot, you added in your thoughts.

“There are a few things that I may ask you here, so that we have those out of the way,” he spoke; his tone lowered a little. “I need you to tell me if you have any illnesses or old injures that could influence your physical capacity.”

You thought for a bit; the answer was important, but you couldn’t recall much.

“I don’t think there’s anything important.”

“Is there anything unimportant?” His gaze pierced through you as he caught on your wording.

“Uh… I’m taking pills for my thyroid, but it’s nothing very dramatic” you explained. “Nothing else that I know of.”

Baekhyun nodded slowly.

“Fair. Next question, is there anything you’re particularly scared of? Phobias, or things you’re scared of in general, anything overly triggering that you want to avoid at all costs?” You already revealed some of these during your first conversation. But now you felt more at ease, and you thought you could be more detailed without sounding overwhelming.

“I’m… scared of fire. And hate my hair being pulled. I don’t know, why. I can’t explain it. It’s just…”

“It’s alright. You don’t need to explain yourself to me” Baekhyun looked at you with his eyebrows slightly furrowed. “You sound like it would stress you out to share. You don’t need to be afraid of that. You don’t owe me anything, keep that in mind. It’s not supposed to feel like an obligation.”

“I-I know.”

“I’m scared of heights, by the way.” You stared at him in confusion. “Hm? Just thought it’s fair to share if you did.”

“Oh.”

“Chill out.” He nudged your glass with his hand to urge you to drink some more of the beer you managed to forget about by then. It was halfway through – you didn’t want to leave the glass with some of it still inside, although it managed to make you feel just a bit sick already.

His own drink was at around the same level too, and as you finished yours, he drank the remaining water in one go as well.

You weren’t the best at handling alcohol, and even the small amounts made you a bit weak in the knees. But you felt sober enough as the two of you finally got up; Baekhyun paid for your drinks and you left the bar.

The weather was nice, as expected. Going out into the sunlight again startled you, somehow; you felt as though a lot of time had already passed. But no, it was still the same afternoon.

It was true that Baekhyun lived nearby. His apartment was in a different direction than your place, though, and you estimated it would take around twenty minutes to get from one place to the other. You knew this area, although not too well – there were only some tenement houses, but no stores or academic buildings that could gain your attention or regular presence. It was on the more expensive side, although not a place a well off office worker wouldn’t afford; just maybe not suitable for a student. The tenement houses were old, but well-kept, and you knew that the apartments were way bigger than in a place like yours.

Opening the door for you, Baekhyun invited you into the dark hallway of his apartment. There were no lights, as every wall had doors to other rooms: two to the left, one at the end of the corridor, and two more to the right, perfectly symmetric.

“Kitchen, my office, bathroom, my bedroom, and the living room,” the man told you, starting from the left. One glance into the living room on the right made you realize just how big the rooms were; enormous, in your honest opinion, with the area of something around a classroom at school, but with ceilings that reached far up, almost twice higher than in your own place. Heavy curtains hung from the top of the tall windows like limp branches of a willow tree, giving the most dramatic effect, and – likely – gathering tons of dust throughout their lifetime. Wooden, carved furniture added to the effect, and you, in all your sincerity, would not dare to ask how much such a set cost, although it would be a lie to say that you weren’t curious. Wooden panels on the floor were already worn and grey, giving you a thought that the interiors were kept in this particular shape for long years before Baekhyun began to reside in there.

“That’s huge,” you only uttered. Your eyes rested on a painting in the middle of a wall on the left side of the room, above an eclectic-green, velvet couch, in front of which was a wooden coffee table, and which gave a perfect sight into an old TV on the side of the room, as it was one of the old-styled, small models that would be hard to look at from the distance between one wall and the other. The painting looked old, but you wondered from the distance, whether it was not just printed in good quality, with all the details of lights, people and nature making it look like a piece of national heritage rather than a small private property. It portrayed a battle scene coming to an end, warriors in shining armor stained with blood resting upon trees and a small pond of pinkish water, at either sunset or sunrise – you weren’t sure.

“You like it?” He caught your stare and followed it, giving himself a few seconds to adore the painting as well, as though he hadn’t looked at it enough despite living here.

“It’s too violent,” you decided after a moment. “But it’s nice to look at.”

“It’s not that violent in itself, I think. But it does conjure the thought of it.”

He left the living room with you still in the doorframe, staying to look at the painting just for a few more seconds. When you turned around, he was entering the kitchen – this room also looked old, but less well kept; it was cleaned up perfectly, however the furniture was shabby, with the surfaces often partly rubbed off and grey; this room simply screamed for renovation. But you felt way more at ease with the fact that it looked similar to yours – the one that was over twenty years old when you moved with and you had no way of changing it without getting in trouble with the landlord. And not like you’d want to do it at all, since you’d move out right after your studies anyway. The only difference was that you tried to make your apartment look a bit warmer with colorful lights and other cheap ornaments here and there, while Baekhyun’s kitchen was just left as it was, as though he gave up on it the moment he moved in.

“Hungry?”

“Not much.” You were still full of the freshly consumed beer.

Out of the fridge, Baekhyun took a bag of half-eaten potato chips. You stared at him with your eyebrow raised as he ate a few of these, and then extended the bag towards you, to which you only shook your head and he put the bag back in the fridge. He caught your look.

“Food moths,” he explained. You slowly nodded in understanding. That’d be a useful tip if you ever got those. The summer was slowly coming; soon, your small apartment would also be filled with bugs, and fruit flies, mosquitos, and sciarids because you kept a few plants in (discovering that sciarids and fruit flies were not the same thing was an important step in achieving perfect harmony in your adulthood).

You sat awkwardly by the table, observing him as he reached for the bag he must have left on the counter before he went to pick you up, and took out leftovers – probably from work – putting them back in the fridge.

“You worked today?” you asked.

“Yeah, just an average thing, a strategic meeting with co-workers. My working hours are not regular, so I didn’t really know I was gonna be out today.”

Once he was done, he sat by the table as well, and you leaned a bit forward, resting your chin on top of your hand.

“You could have postponed it with me, you must be tired,” you said.

“Don’t worry, I’d rather have a chance to relax with you.”

That didn’t sound as innocent as he probably tried to make it, and he looked over his shoulder to make sure he didn’t scare you with the choice of words. You only laughed awkwardly.

“Anyway. Since, as I said, I don’t want to intimidate you, I think we’ll stay in the living room since you seemed content with that,” he spoke casually.

“So, no playroom?” you uttered. Baekhyun choked on the chip in his mouth.

“I don’t own such a place. I just usually use the bedroom. Or the bathroom,” he explained.

“Or the office?” you felt bold enough to suggest, giving him a small smirk.

“No, I assure you the office is for what offices usually are.”

You smiled innocently as Baekhyun stared at you, probably trying to mask sudden shyness.

“Either way,” he cleared his throat. “I told you some about what I want to do, but you haven’t told me if there’s anything you’re interested in trying out. I assume you did see some things, so… Is there anything that you’ve been particularly interested in?”

The harmless way in which he phrased the question absolutely didn’t change the fact that he was, basically, asking what kind of porn you watch.

“I uh… I like watching different things, just out of curiosity, but I’m not really sure if there’s anything I like particularly more than other things… I suppose bondage is the biggest basic.” You tried, you really tried to sound neutral, but your voice trembled a little. “But I’m not really sure, to be honest. I’m quite open-minded, I suppose…” You felt silly; how could you not be able to answer the most basic question – what do you like? But Baekhyun seemed to understand that very well, as he only nodded slowly.

“What about, let’s say, pet play?” You blushed slightly. “You know what I’m talking about? I feel like a lot of young women start from there.” It took you a moment to realize that you, too, were a young woman. “Behavioral training. Humiliation. Regression. A bit of pain, if suitable. Trying out a few things to see how you respond. What do you think?”

“I think it may be fun” you said slowly. “Does it have something to do with the…?” you motioned your neck, hoping he’ll get the cue. You remembered the collars the other people wore – they were the main reason you got interested in the first place, after all. Baekhyun smiled, catching on your observation.

“Sometimes, but not necessarily. It’s just a thing I like. Do you?”

“…I may,” you answered carefully.

“Gotcha. We may try it out. You know, everyone is different. The collars are different too. I usually order them after I’m sure the person’s gonna stay, and when I know what type will be the most suitable for them. I can’t do that for you yet, but I have some spare items.”

“Do you have the ones of people who you’re not with anymore?” you asked, out of pure curiosity.

Baekhyun was silent for a moment.

“I do. But I’d rather not use them. They’re there for memory, not for use.”

“Gotcha. I was just curious,” you quickly explained.

“Do you have a safe-word?” Baekhyun’s gaze rested on you.

“…Not really. Never needed one,” you uttered sheepishly.

“You have anything on your mind?”

“Um, the… thing with lights? The red light, yellow and green?” you proposed carefully.

“That’s a good one. Tell me how you understand them.”

“So, the green one means everything’s alright, the yellow is when we need to slow down, and the red stops the scene,” you recited, as if you were reading from a book.

“That’s right. It’s easy to remember, so we can go with that.” You bit on your lips to prevent yourself from getting too excited with the apparent praise; it wasn’t anything big, of course – but you felt as though it was a praise in itself, being acknowledged for saying something right. “Another thing is that I need you to know a few rules, before we start.” You were all ears. “First, I don’t want you to be reluctant for the fun of it. Whether you want to be a brat later or not, today we’re just trying things out and I don’t want to mistake your attitude with actual discomfort, do you understand?” You nodded slowly, memorizing the words and waiting for him to continue. “Second. No pain that I will impose on you will be a matter of punishment, unless I specify so. If you don’t enjoy it, you need to tell me so. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop right away, unless – of course – you use the safe-word. However, I still expect honesty. During, as well as after the scene, when we review it. Do you understand?” The breaks in between the points gave you enough time to acknowledge the information and encode it in your memory. You nodded once again. “And for the last. Do you trust me?”

The tone made you look up at him, finally focusing on his person rather than the words alone.

“I do,” you finally decided; knowing very well what this answer would lead to.

Baekhyun’s eyes sparkled as he smiled at you warmly.

“Well then, shall we start?”

* * *

You stand in the middle of the room, the cardigan and shoes are off, your feet feel cold against the floor despite socks wrapped around them comfortingly.

Don’t move a finger, you’ve been told, and so, you stare at the painting before you, the warrior in the front staring at you back with contempt you haven’t noticed before.

Your breath trembles in anticipation as you try to hear sounds from other rooms – you do hear some shuffling, but nothing that you can figure out for sure. He must be in his bedroom, you think. What is he preparing? Which tools out of many that you’ve seen on the screen of your phone all these nights that, despite spending perfect eight hours in bed, did not end in getting perfect eight hours of sleep?

Your arm itches, but you fight the urge to scratch it; be obedient, he said.

Steps echo in the corridor and you hold your breath. Your head snaps to the side the moment you hear him enter the room again.

“Eyes down,” he commands without sparing you a glance; you haven’t had enough time to see what he brought, but you instantly obey his words. “Don’t look at me unless I allow you to.” His voice is stern, and it makes your stomach clench nervously. But it’s not a bad sensation, not at all – you grow excited. “Down. On your knees.”

You try to comply, but he still scoffs at your apparent sluggishness. You almost fall over as you let your knees bend and you finally kneel down as well as you can, eyes facing down as well, although you feel awkward as you do so.

“On your toes,” Baekhyun commands; something small but hard hits your heels, startling you, and your head whips around to see a wooden pointing stick. You swallow the gasp of surprise at the sight.

You fix your posture, your toes instantly begin to cramp; that’s uncomfortable, and your toes aren’t too flexible, it seems.

“Straighten your back. You’re slouching.”

The task turns out almost impossible to do, the whole weight lands on your toes and you frown in discomfort.

“Is it necessary…?”

“Look at me.” It feels unnatural to do so now, but you oblige, turning your head to the side where he stands. “What’s wrong?”

“My toes hurt,” you admit quietly. Baekhyun watches you for a moment.

“Straighten them. Kneel as you did before.” You bite your lips and nod, uttering a small thank you that you find suitable enough as the position gets a bit more comfortable. “Back. Straighten.”

You automatically snap back into the position. But it does feel a bit silly – like something your teachers would say, don’t slouch! A laughter comes out at the comparison, but you attempt to stifle it.

Apparently, not well enough.

The pointer hits the nape of your neck; not too hard, but the message gets through.

Baekhyun stands in front of you and, most likely, stares you down – you can’t tell; your gaze is fixated on his lacquered shoes. The shoes then move, kicking the middle of your thighs.

“Spread.”

You feel a bit awkward as you oblige this command; you only glance down to make sure your pants aren’t ripped – you never know. To your relief, they’re not. Then you try to glance forward – but, what’s in front of you, makes you more shy than anything, so you just fix your gaze on his knees instead.

“You’re slouching again.”

“Pets often do,” you note before you manage to bite your tongue; you do remember your conversation from before – wasn’t it what he was aiming for? You thought so at first. But the words were not thought through at all; you just felt a need to say something, anything, just like you’d talk back to a teacher when they became too annoying in their remarks.

You hold your breath as Baekhyun crouches down to your level.

You feel his eyes on you, and you unwittingly tremble under his gaze, forcing yourself to look even lower, not daring to break the rule. The seconds seem to last hours as he doesn’t speak a word – and he doesn’t have to. You feel intimidated.

“You want to be a pet?”

He stands up; he’s right in front of you, if you so much as leaned forward a little bit, your forehead would touch his thigh. You slightly crave the touch; but not enough to move, not when you grow petrified. The question is rhetorical. You wait for him to finish the thought.

“Then I’ll treat you like one.”

Without waiting for your reaction, he steps behind you. You hear shuffling in what had to be a box placed behind your back; you see nothing.

But you hear the harsh, recognizable clink of metal and your stomach drops.

* * *

Please, reblog if you enjoyed, it'll help me a bunch!

Author's note: Hello, have you missed me??? I'm sorry it took so long to upload, it's hard to find time among exams I had in June, and now my (first) new job! The next chapter is already being written, so hopefully, won't take that long. Remember to reblog if you liked, and I'll be really happy to hear what you have to say about this so far. Stay safe!

Next (Chapter 4.)

#exowritersnet #kdiarynet #bbh-net #exosnet #exo baekhyun #exo bbh #bbh x reader #bbh #exo #byun baekhyun #exo fanfiction #baekhyun fanfiction #exo x reader #baekhyun x reader #vg: vulnerability #vg: exo #vg: baekhyun #vg: series

[over-under-through1]

Have any more headcanons for Robin, Mike, Robike(Them together), Miblo and Buttercup?

i’ll try to get a few of these down ><

Robin, Mike, and Robike gen headcannons:

Robin is deathly allergic to shell fish. she found this out okay her and mikes 2nd date, where he took her out for sushi, she got a tempura shrimp roll, and 10 minutes later had to be rolled out in an ambulance. never again. (don’t ask how she had never eaten it before)

in solidarity to her shell fish allergy, mike refuses to eat any kind of shell fish as well. call him a romantic.

mike is a HORRID singer. boy sounds like a car’s rev engine. it’s bad.

this fact does not stop him from tearing it up on karaoke night at the Utonium household

he is also a hopeless dancer. white boy dance moves for days. some of his favorites include: the lawmower, the sprinkler (basically any dance that’s named after backyard machinery), the running man, and worst of all, flossing

once again, this does not stop him from trying. “BABE!! BAE!! HUN!! LOVE!! LOOK AT ME GO!! COME OVER HERE LETS DANCE TOGETHER!!” *cue groaning and hiding behind Buttercup on Robins behalf as Buttercup laughs her ass off with Butch and records*

don’t get between Robin and her ice cream sandwiches. my girl turns into a banshee the second she spots one.

Mike cannot swallow pills. he has tried so, so hard, but year after year he ends up gagging and crushes them up to drink down with water. poor guy, don’t even bring advil liquigels into his line of vision

Mitch, Pablo, and Miblo gen headcannons:

when Mitch first saw Pablo walk into his 10th grade homeroom, he gay panicked, blue screened, mumbled at Buttercup “pretty… boy…” then zombie walked past her, the teacher, Pablo himself (who noticed and was immediately enamored with Mitch), out the room, past the vice principal, then trudged 4 miles home in a daze with Buttercup flying behind him shouting. he woke up an hour later with no recollection of any of this

Buttercup still makes fun of him to this day for the incident. she tells the story in her toast as best woman at the Miblo wedding

Pablo is a giant. he is a good 7 inches taller than Mitch (as stated in my height headcannons post). Mitch makes Pablo carry him around practically everywhere and Pablo ALWAYS hits his head when he walks into Mitch’s trailer. always. every single time. it doesn’t matter that he’s come over hundreds of times, or that he tells himself beforehand each time “Pablo, you will not, under any circumstances, hit your head on the door frame this time. Mitch will not make fun of you because it will not happen.” it still happens. it’s not preventable.

it doesn’t even matter that even people TALLER than Pablo (cough Boomer cough) can enter Mitch’s trailer without hitting their head. Pablo keeps a cool head most of the time, but he has broken and threatened the door many times in the past.

Mitch is a mini space heater and Pablo is the coldest man alive. many-a-cuddling sessions happen in winter (and though Pablo won’t admit it, fall too. and spring.)

Mitch is friends with basically everyone at their school, he’s very extroverted and good at making conversation with people, he tries making friends with at least one new person a day

so, so many people ask Pablo if he’s on the volleyball or basketball team. they are very, very wrong, my boy is the editor of the school paper and he could not be prouder of his position. FANTASTIC writer, and when you have an in with the schools very own superheroes, there’s nothing really stopping you from climbing your way to the top

Mitch was highkey terrified of Butch when Buttercup first introduced him, but now there is literally nothing that Butch could do to make Mitch feel intimidated. if Butch even tried, Mitch would be right on his ass making fun of him for it

gen Buttercup headcannons (tw: mentions of panic attacks):

still has a fear of spiders, but instead of screaming over them and flying away, she gets a very dark look in her eyes and will not hesitate to destroy the house in order to kill the vermin. her sisters and all of her friends have to constantly be aware of any 8 legged bugs around them so they can keep it out of BC’s sights, if only to preserve the land within a 5 mile radius around them

has been begging Prof.Utonium to let her get a lizard for the past 4 years. she had one for a week but her dad found it and immediately set it free

her ears are the most sensitive of the groups, they all have supersonic senses, but BC’s are especially heightened, possibly due to her lack of “special powers” (total fucking bullshit btw, fuck you ppg writers for treating BC like shit)

i think?? i’ve mentioned her ability to see in the future before here?? that’s because of the her senses. no one ask me about the science behind it, just go with it, okay? super eye sight= glimpses into the future

this ability has saved many of her teammates from colossal damage before, but (angst warning), because she’s had to see those images in her mind to be able to warn them about it, it’s left lasting trauma on her and has made her very protective of her friends and family. do not fuck with anyone that BC is close with, she will mess you up for it

one particular prediction she got showed Butch in a very… gruesome situation. i don’t want to go into detail, but it fucked her up for a bit, and there was about a week where Buttercup couldn’t/wouldn’t leave Butch’s side in fear of what could happen to him

she still sometimes gets flashes of that memory and it’s caused a couple panic attacks. when she found out, Blossom taught her some breathing exercises to help her through it if one comes on

THAT GOT SAD IM SO SORRY I FULLY INTENDED FOR THAT HEADCANNON TO JUST BE ABOUT BC HAVING A SPECIAL POWER AND IT DIVERGED INTO THAT

okay one SWEET headcannon for the road. Buttercup really values quality time with her loved ones, and though she doesn’t admit it often, everytime the team + the norms have their little hang out sessions, she sees it as a time for her to chill, and it’s those times that she feels her happiest and like she can genuinely be herself without judgement from classmates or the press

thank you for the ask!! i got a random burst of inspiration that i haven’t felt in a bit when this was sent in, i appreciate you for that :))

#ask #ppg #the powerpuff girls #the rowdyruff boys #rrb #brick ppg #butch ppg #bubbles ppg #blossom ppg #buttercup ppg #boomer ppg #sbj more than human #butchercup #blossick #boomubbles #rowdyruff boys #ppg x rrb #as time goes by ppg #powerpuff girls #powerpuffgirls #sbj mth #greens ppg #incorrect powerpuff girls quotes #reds ppg #blues ppg #ppg buttercup #ppg butch #ppg boomer #ppg bubbles #ppg brick

[marshmallowprotection]

Saeran’s Passport Package

I’ve been waiting since the 19th to get my hands on this baby and I’m glad that it got here today. It took me a little bit to sit down and go through everything cause I wanted to cry about it the entire time. 

Spoilers Ahead, everyone. So, if you’re not interested in seeing what’s in the Passport set AFTER the events of Saeran’s After Ending, then do not click Read More, got it? I’ve made it clear to you. I will say that it’s worth the money if you’re debating buying it. 

So, we can go over the contents in the box, first as an overview. You receive a letter stamped with a cute sticker as well as the passport itself which holds the notes that Saeran’s been taking and drawing since this all started. I just think that’s cute. My brain said don’t open that passport until we review the letter first so, why don’t we go over the letter first? The little details are really cute. There’s just so many stamps on this baby. 

The little touches are what sell it. You’ve got this man putting his love all over it and there’s a CUTE NOTE of CATS. Sir, was that a touch to Saeyoung? I know you know that your brother is a dork. Homage to brother who is an idiot but too glaringly obvious. It got a chuckle out of me. I know this man, and it’s just getting to me. 

The passport itself is also really cute. It has the art from the promo banner but instead of everyone hustling around together, there’s new poses and all of that jazz. Jaehee isn’t rushing around. Zen’s got a selfie stick, no surprise on that front. Jumin just chilling. Seven and Yoosung... doing what they do best and you know it. RUN, YOOSUNG, RUN.

Saeran and MC... being cute on the inside made me go, “Aw!” Ice cream. They can really just put ice cream and it’s going to make me cry, huh? Really? Is that how easy this is? Am I a joke to you, Cheritz? Is that what this is? 

Now, if you want to talk about the contents in the letter, you get this sheet that is listed in three languages, surprised me, Korean, Spanish, and English, and it lets you tick off little things that you like to do. An itinerary sheet. I feel like this is purely Jumin crafting these. It asks about Cats. Literally. Cats. Wine? Yeah, this is on Jumin. You always come in flex, Jumin, but oh boy, I’m chuckling over here at these little touches. 

You get 2 boarding passes. One with Saeran’s name and one with a blank to fill in your name. I thought that was cute. Tying in that with the CG of the passes in the game with this just makes it more real to me. I’m holding this in my hands and it just makes my immersion feel much more real than it did when I was holding my phone in my hand and playing this out. 

I think merch like this just makes you feel more apart of the story then you do when you’re able to talk and chat, you know? If you really like feeling like you are involved with the game, this is how you do it. You wanna know how I know that Jumin is the one setting this up with Saeran? Flip over the fucking passport and you realize that Elizabeth is on the back.

I’m still laughing. 

I’m trying to imagine this and now, like, I’m starting to see why Jaehee is so damn tired because Elizabeth really is on everything that he can get his hands on and she’s good too many files to sort through when it comes to whatever the photographers take of her. Jumin can’t take photos. He’s either got Jihyun to do this for him at some point, or he’s straight up hiring photographers for her cause he can’t do it. 

I mean, we all know that Jumin will put Elizabeth everywhere but I just— It’s on the BOARDING PASSES? JUMIN! 

There’s also a postcard within the letter that is once more, written in all three aforementioned languages. Saeran says that it feels like a dream when he is with you, like this is where he’s always meant to be. His promise of happiness is made truest when he’s with you. I teared up a little. I know that he means well when he does that but damn, does it take an arrow to the heart every single time he does it. 

Saeran put a lot of thought into this in a very short amount of time. I know that he did this plan likely with the idea that he may not be able to go with us but he wanted us to be able to see the world for him. You know, how he implied that he wanted Saeyoung to see things for him? To live for him? Even if he was dead, he wanted Saeyoung and the player to be happy and free. 

The blurred state on those... doesn’t have names. It doesn’t name Saeran in this photo. 

The implication of his sacrifice with the boarding passes kind of hurts because this is a side note of the fact that Saeran Did Not Know If He Would Live To See This Through. He made it thinking maybe.. if things worked out, it would be an okay future, but this was... God. I just. I’m thinking about the weight of the AE and what that felt like. I almost glossed over the Boarding Pass because I was just so upset with him.

I’m the type to try to sacrifice myself for others, too. I have that in common with Saeyoung and Saeran. 

I think that we’d argue over who should die for the others and while that’s macabre, it’s just the kind of people that we are. We love these people so much that we’re willing to die if they’re safe and sound. Knowing that, I understand what Saeran tried, and even what Saeyoung tries, but it’s hard cause I want to make sure they’re happy in comparison to myself. 

This is where being selfless is a bad thing. 

Does anyone know what a big deal it is for Saeran to have a passport? He’s never had an ID or paperwork in his entire life. If he did, he would’ve been killed, so would his brother. They’re both never had IDs. Unless you count the ones from the Agency and Mint Eye. They’ve got them in the Believer box with their names and faces, but that’s not official. That’s not paperwork that everyone else has. That’s just... 

You know? 

Seeing this tangible thing in my hands is a testament to Saeran Choi being alive and thriving. He’s not afraid of showing his face. He’s living. He’s a free man and nobody can kill him for existing. Does that not weigh on anyone here? It hit me and I wanted to cry. I might break down thinking about this later because I just take this too seriously. Look at him. Look at HIM. Okay? Did you look? Now, LOOK AGAIN.

Okay, I’m not going to share every single page inside of the passport but I will give you little snippets of the journey ahead and show you what he writes and draws. Yes, he’s drawing. I knew that he was talented because he is great at doodling and drawing, but he knows how to have such a cute style that I want to gush about and he probably has no clue about how cute it is because nobody’s ever told him!

Okay, so the trip is broken up over a few months and into segments. You know how I was surprised by the 3 languages? Yes, this passport is written in three languages and it stays that way. It implies that Saeran knows English and Spanish, or at the very least, he’s been studying them, I get that it’s kind of a neat tie in to make sure that all languages are included but I only English and I can only read Spanish, I suck at conversational Spanish, so I could only read the English and Spanish sections. 

So, if anyone wants to throw in what the Korean segments say, please do. I have a rough idea, but it’d be nice to know. The first segment of the trip is spent traveling over Korea. You see the things that he packed in the bag! 

I almost had a heart attack because I thought the vitamins were Caffeine Pills. I was about to beat my Husband and make him go to bed. Thin ice, Saeran. Thin ice, the Special Believer package implied you take more then ten and I want you to go the fuck to sleep at night. 

He packed his hanbok! Look! You remember? From the title screen event? The blue shirt is the one that he matches with MC in. There’s so much I’m screaming about it. 

It shows you things that you do. Like, biking, karaoke, gardens... is there a locket bridge in Korea? You know? If you put them together on a bridge, it’s said that your love lasts forever. I forget where that came from but I guess there must be one in South Korea, too. Oh, and food. Can you believe that he can eat whatever he wants now? I’m sobbing. 

Please. 

HE’S IN HANBOK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Okay, here’s the thing. I only have one gripe with the Passport Package and I’m going to say this again at the end, but I really wish that they had included big photos for this because the Passport itself it rather small and I wish that I could have bigger photos of this. It’s my only complaint. Literally, it’s the only thing I have to say about the box that will affect my rating. Look, we’re doing cheesy couple stuff! 

HE’S DOING THE HEART THING WITH HIS HANDS.

A KISS. 

KISS.

GUSHING.

DYING. HELP. ME. 

God, I wish I wasn’t broke. I would commission someone to do this for my MC. 

The second and third portion of the trip are spent in the U.S.A. and Mexico, I was so surprised by that! New York and Hawaii specifically are what they name and I was. Well, those are really far apart, huh. I mean, those are very popular spots. I’m not surprised. I’m chuckling because he’s got matching outfits. 

Saeran Choi, you really want the embarrassing couple look, don’t you? Well, if it’s for you, I’d do it. Did... Saeyoung or Jumin set us up, are we fucking loaded? There’s mad bank here. 

Saeran and MC basically are living per Jumin and Saeyoung, to be honest, because Saeran’s never had a job and MC is... your MC literally agrees to go and test a game in the woods, how good can our lives be? I’m broke, boy. I ain’t got nothing. So, I like to think that those two are offering to let Saeran be as happy and free as he wants. No expense. Like, kindness. The RFA is too damn much, I’m gonna cry. I’m starting to understand why the RFA didn’t hear from us for months. 

The final Check-In with the RFA is set 6 Months after the events that take place when we save Saeran. The events of this Passport cover 3 months. So, we go back to Korea after this adventure and met up with Saeyoung, because we know that we’re hanging out with him in the conclusion. So, if they haven’t really heard from us, that means that we’ve been traveling more with him. 

I kind of like that. 

We’re spending time with Saeran alone and time with the brothers together, and that’s sweet! I love that. I need to write more about it. 

I’m trying not to laugh about this Mexico portion but it looks like he passed out from an ice tea... lemonade...? It’s surely not alcohol. Maybe too much sugar, I know that crash can hurt. I’ve been there. I just know that you’re not implying the man with alcohol trauma is gonna drink. Nope. Neither he nor Saeyoung ever will do that. I stand by that statement and I’ll die by that statement. Bite me my tongue if I’m wrong, but I stand by that. 

Saeran is at least mindful of the sun. He’s also made notes that the perfect time for sunset is 18:34. Cute. He notes that it’s time for the Day of the Dead as well, so that’s fun!

IS THAT A FUCKING V CACTUS—

TWO V CACTUS—

There’s actually a portion in here where he asks you certain questions and you have the space to fill in it. I like that it’s interactive. 

Do you have favorites sweets? Are there things about yourself that you hide? Did you make sure to ask Santa what you wanted? I’m wheezing. The food doodles are one thing, and the Christmas photo is one thing, but he really drew himself as a butterfly and the MC as a bug catcher. 

“CATCH ME, MC.” 

Help me. 

I’m laughing so hard.

Saeran, you fucking goofball.

And, the last page of the passport is us assumedly returning home with all kinds of trinkets and gifts. Flower crown, snow globe, cactus, hats, listen, there’s a lot of details in this photos that I really wish I could have it blown up. 

That’s really my only complaint about the Passport Package. I really want to have bigger photos that are shared. I wouldn’t have minded if it was the photo of the final CG in the game, or the Christmas photo, I really would have enjoyed getting that to have for myself. 

You know? The passport itself is roughly like 5 x 7 or so, so while it’s not big, it’s still like. I would love to see the details blown up. It’s smaller then the diary, that I know for sure. I think it’s the only thing stopping from giving Cheritz a 10/10 on this item. 

I’m going to have to give them a 9.8/10 simply because it feels like we are lacking one big photo. 

I guess I’ll print my favorite CGs and decorate my room like that. But, all and all, I really enjoyed reading this and it made it feel like I was there and I was able to reflect on Saeran’s vacation with the player. Like, he was doing this as we were going using his little doodles... I’m in love with this fucking sap. I’d say that this is worth the money. 

For sure. 

My only gripe aside. That’s a personal problem, not really a content problem. I love this bastard. 

Look at him, he’s GOT A PLUSHIE. I have so many things that I want to write about now thanks to this. Saeran, darling, sweetie, my love, I am dying. Either way, I’m glad this arrived when it did. I needed this. I justified getting this for myself because I don’t expect to get anything for my birthday in early February but I’m happy I have him.

It’s been five years since I found this game in August 2016. I’m happy that it’s been here with me. 

#SaeranAfterEnding #saeran ae #saeran after ending #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #mystic messenger #mystic messenger saeran #saeran mysme #saeran mystic messenger #saeran mm #mm saeran #mysme saeran #saeran #saeran choi #choi saeran #saeray #ge saeran #mod kait #spoilers #spoiler #long post

[plutonct]

remember remember- n.jm

summary; bestfriend au- celebrating bonfire night on the cold november evening leads to warming up with your ~best friend~ in his car

warnings; car sex, unprotected sex, grossed out 00 line

an; REMEMBER REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER GUNPOWDER TREASON AND PLOT i think this is a british thing so like welcome to my culture where we make replicas of a man and set him on fire 😌 wow the uk is savage. for context, in the uk the 5th of november is celebrated as bonfire night or guy fawkes night and basically celebrates the death of guy fawkes who was famously hung, drawn and quartered after plotting to kill the king with gunpowder.

the vibrant colours of the fireworks lit up the sky as you cuddled in closer to your best friend’s chest. in the cold evening hours of november, your body shivered slightly as the chills of the wind overpowered the small amount of heat radiating from the fire in front of you. the stuffed and clothed fabric that had been set on fire was doing little to warm you up due to the ‘safe distance’ rules.

"y/n? are you okay? you look freezing." jeno, one of jaemin’s friends spoke up distracting you from how the blonde next to you was tracing circles onto the smooth skin of your arm.

"it’s a bit cold, nothing i can’t handle though." you laughed a little as you spoke, trying not to let the chatter in your teeth give you away. jaemin obviously didn’t believe you, turning to look into your eyes.

his face was illuminated by the warm radiance of the fire, his skin quite literally glowing. the crackling of the fireworks was still going on, kids laughing and gasping to their parents at the pretty explosions of colour. unlike the others there, clearly you hadn’t got the memo of dressing appropriately after shoving one of jaemins hoodies on (with no top underneath) and a pair of thin leggings.

"guys i’m feeling quite chilly, i’ll take y/n back to the car." jaemin spoke up to the others in your little circle, earning small murmurs of acknowledgement before they returned back to their conversations about spooky stories and whether or not ghosts were real. though his eyes left yours for a second, they were immediately back gazing into your own as if you were the only thing that mattered to him. and you were.

jaemin wasn’t so sure how long he had been harbouring feelings for you, having to constantly push himself back into line as ‘the boy best friend’. what he did know however, was that you looked ethereal in that moment. the same glow from the fire reflecting onto your own skin, your eyes glossy from what he assumed was also the low temperature.

he patted your side as a signal he was standing up and you immediately shrunk your arms into the large hoodie draped over your frame, letting the ends of the sleeves hand over your fingertips to your hands up. jaemin on the other hand had different ideas, lacing his fingers with yours and shoving the cluster of appendage into his coat pocket.

the walk to his car was in comfortable silence, basking in the somehow peaceful moment despite the loud cheers, chatter and bangs in the background.

"you know you don’t have to lie, right? if you’re cold you can just tell me." jaemin spoke up, nudging his elbow into your side as the two of you approached his black car.

"i know. i just didn’t want to take you away from the others just because i was cold." you stopped for a moment and turned to look up at him, only to find he had already been looking at you. this happened a lot, he would always seem to stare at you with such fondness and adoration, it stirred up butterflies in your tummy. your best friend let out a breathless chuckle, unclasping his hand from yours and bringing it up to rest against your cheek.

for a moment your breath hitched, attention now drawn to the warm hand rubbing soothing strokes onto the plush skin of your cheek.

"y/n i would drop everything for you. i hope you know that." jaemin’s eyes flitted from your kissable lips back to your eyes, this not going unnoticed by you. heat pooled in your stomach at his gestured and words. you raised your own hand and placed it on his cheek, just like he had.

"then i hope you know i would do the same for you."

that was all the confirmation jaemin needed, with the clear affirmation that his feelings were reciprocated, he brought his face closer to yours. you could feel his minty breath fanning over your lips before taking the initiative and closing the distance yourself.

your lips molded together perfectly, his chapped ones moving immediately against your own desperately. he had waited so, so long for this moment. he had dreamt about it in his sleep, fantasized about it in his classes— but you weren’t any different.

as the kiss started getting heated, jaemin reached for his carkeys in his pocket with the hand that once rested on your waist, hurriedly pressing the button to unlock the vehicle. the moment he did so, you reached to open the cardoor, clambering into the back seats.

"you have no idea how— long i waited— for this." jaemin spoke in between kisses, climbing in after you and slamming the door shut, hovering over you whilst using his forearms to hold him up. the space in the car was limited, but he did his best to work with what he got.

"same," you breathed out before jaemin hungrily reattached his lips to yours, "same."

the male shrugged off his thick coat, letting it drop onto the backseat floors in a heap before pulling off his shirt to join it, leaving him in his black adidas trackies that he always seemed to wear. his bare toned torso was now on full display under the dim lighting from the car, broad shoulders and defined muscles enticing you even further to rake your fingers along his body. and you did so, his muscles going rigid for a moment as they tensed up before relaxing again, jaemin just letting you feel him up.

"as much as you seem to like my body, princess, we have more important things to be getting to." the smug smirk on jaemin’s face almost made you whimper but you clamped your lips tight, just looking up at him. he cursed lightly at the desperate shine in your eyes, glossed over making them sparkle.

seeing as jaemin was preoccupied with staring at your face, you took it upon yourself to pull down your leggings and shimmy your legs out of them, revealing your bare legs and underwear-less heat. you hated wearing pants with your leggings seeing as they always gave you a visible panty line.

jaemins eyes widened when he looked down, the erection enclosed in his trackies growing, trousers tightening.

"holy shit princess, were you expecting this?"

you weren’t, but that made it all the better. this time you let out the whimper, clamping your legs shut for some sort of desperate friction.

"p-please jaem-ahh" before you could even finish your words, he had tugged his own trackies down just enough for him to release his throbbing cock. you moaned at the sight whereas the cold air hit the hot skin of his member, coaxing a hiss from his mouth.

"shit— i’m on the pill just please!" you grabbed at his biceps, pleading with him as your pressed your thighs together even harder. with this newly attained knowledge, jaemin grabbed himself at the base of his cock, beginning to line himself up with your dripping core. he didn’t even have to touch you to know, your folds glistened with arousal.

he ran his head against your slick slit, arm holding him up nearly faltering at the first inch of pleasure. your arms immediately went to wrap around his torso, legs hooking around his hips to pull him even closer. jaemin pushed the rest of himself in slowly, releasing low groans that mixed with your higher pitches whimpers.

"h-how are you so—fuckkkk— tight?" he gritted his teeth and removed his hand from his shaft, moving it to help himself keep steady. at his words you subconsciously clenched around him, causing him to moan louder.

he started his thrusts slow and deep, taking his time to explore you and savour the moment. but this didn’t last long, your want and need overpowering your other senses.

"j-jaemin, ahhh-go faster!" you demanded, starting to buck your hips against his. a devilish grin appeared on his face, moving one of his hands back down to your hip to hold it down.

"as you wish, princess."

his hips snapped rapidly into yours, the change in pace making the growing feeling in your lower stomach grow faster, your moans becoming more frequent and louder. the small space in the car was slightly uncomfortable, the windows were even fogged up but in this moment neither of you cared. his pace was relentless, never letting down as he slammed into you over and over, reaching depths no one else before him had managed to reach.

you started seeing stars, body barely sliding along the seats of the car at the sheer force of jaemin’s thrusts. your eyes starting rolling into the back of your head, fluttering shut as your fingertips dug into jaemin’s back, trailing down and leaving fresh red scratches in their wake.

"jaem, i’m gonna c-um," you managed to get out, the boy smiling at your pliable state. he was also very, very close, beads of sweat rolling down his face at the now hot temperature inside the car and as a result of the effort he was putting into fucking you.

after one sharp thrust, the angle perfect, your orgasm washed over you. your legs twitched slightly and your back arched, vision momentarily clouded. your wet walls clenched around jaemin’s cock, triggering his own release just after yours.

"fuck, y/n." he groaned quietly, his cum coating your pussy walls in short bursts as he relaxed on top of you, panting.

the two of you stayed there in the comfortable almost silence, chests raising and falling heavily as you both regained composure.

"so... what does this mean for us?" you asked quietly, jaemins head resting on your hoodie clad chest. he turned up to look at you in disbelief, chin resting on your ribs.

"you’re my girlfriend. i think. i mean you dont have to be but-" you cut off his rambling by grabbing his jaw and pulling him up for a sweet kiss.

"i’m your girlfriend."

bonus:

the two of you sat and waited in the front seats, enjoying eachothers presence in the newly found relationship. the car doors opened and jeno, renjun and donghyuck slid in, sitting in the back seats. you froze up momentarily, looking at them through the rear view mirror.

renjun, as the smallest, was sat in the middle. his face contorted into one of disgust, eyebrows furrowing as he immediately unclasped his seatbelt, leaping over to sit on jeno’s lap instead. he would rather that then stay sat on whatever the fuck he was just sitting on- and god he hoped it wasn’t what he thought.

"what’s wrong?" jaemin turned to renjun with a playful glint in his eyes, knowing why he had that reaction.

"why the fuck is your middle seat wet?"

jeno and donghyuck then looked at the wet patch on the seat before cringing and gagging.

"gross!"

"renjun give me my $10 please."

#na jaemin smut #na jaemin #jaemin #bonfire night #guy fawkes #nct #nct dream #jaemin smut #nct dream smut