#so being an experiment

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[chibiveneficus]

oh this robot is gay, like GAY gay

#his fucking VOICE #this robot has had the religious experience of being piloted #bang brave bang bravern #screencaps did not do this scene justice so #all the military people looking so pained is sending me

[5ftboy]

How is Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves different from other blockbuster action films?

#justice smith #dungeons and dragons honor among thieves #dndhat #dndhatedit #justicesmithedit #mine ** #there's so much joy to be had over content that allows viewers to have wonder and *like* things #without immediately being teased or even shamed for being invested in a make-believe world #*especially* because the experience of playing dnd is entirely about imagination & sincerity #it's about committing to your character and committing to a story with your friends !!! #and i am endeared ( clearly ) #1k ** #5k ** #10k **

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[greenglowinspooks]

The way that I’m brainrotting over a DCxDP crossover with a Danny who’s a vengeful villain rn

Like, let’s just say that the GiW finally get into contact with the JL. They need help neutralizing a threat, you see, and they’re on their last limb trying to keep civilians safe.

They have video evidence! They have studies to back their claims! The JL have to help them!

Unfortunately, the JL believe them. They join a fight against Danny, and defeat him due to being far more experienced than he is. Danny is locked away and experimented on by the GiW.

That would CHANGE a person. Your heroes turning against you and seeing you as a monster, being experimented on for who knows how long, not knowing if your friends and family are safe.

Danny gets out due to a simple mistake on the GiW’s part; having Blüdhaven as part of their transport route.

Of course the trucks were attacked, they’re government property!

So now, whoever decided to raid the government transport trucks (the Penguin or something) has a ton of experimental weapons with no idea how they work, and a heavily traumatized teenager.

Danny knows how they work. Danny can be useful! They won’t throw him out if he’s useful! And so, now Danny is working for the Penguin, altering the ectoplasm weapons to make them work on humans.

It’s a good deal for both parties. Danny gets to neurotically imprint on the Penguin like a small baby animal, and the Penguin gets a brilliant mind who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.

But eventually, Danny finds out what happened to his family in his absence.

Jazz is in Arkham. Not as a psychologist, but as a “patient.” Apparently, she snapped and completely destroyed the house, leveled a few blocks of Amity Park, and conducted organized attacks on government bases (mostly GiW) for months.

Sam and Tucker helped her, eventually splitting once Jazz was captured. Sam travels to areas of extreme pollution, completely overgrowing them with her plant powers. Currently she’s in the Amazon rainforest, engaging in an ongoing feud with logging companies. Sam is winning.

Tucker faked his death, and Danny has no idea where he is. He only knows that the death wasn’t real because of a code that the three of them made together, just in case.

Ellie’s trapped in the Infinite Realms. Danny had a failsafe in place so that if she was ever cornered by the GiW, she would be sent to her haunt in the GZ. However, with the portal destroyed, she can’t come back. Danny just hopes she’s okay.

His parents are now top GiW scientists. They’re traveling the country giving speeches. They’re working on a battery powered by ectoplasm, but apparently started “having difficulties” around the same time that Danny escaped.

None of it is fair. None of it is right.

The Justice League destroyed his life, the lives of his friends, and they’re doing as good as ever. The GiW is respected, and his parents are happily working away for them.

Danny takes up some of his more experimental weapons and breaks Jazz out of Arkham. She’s a little different now, colder and more quiet, but she still loves him all the same. It’s an unimaginable comfort to him to see his sister again.

He can’t use his powers anymore. He’s so used to associating them with pain that even transforming into his ghost form is enough to take him down for hours.

However, he understands ectoplasm more than anyone else in the world. He knows how to use it in virtually everything; how it can become a weapon, how it can be used as a supplemental ingredient in poisons and nerve agents, how it can twist and distort the mind if applied correctly.

He doesn’t care what happens to him. He’s going to take down the GiW, and destroy the lives of the JL members who helped lock him away, just as they did to him.

No matter the cost.

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp prompt #let Danny be scary and unsettling and evil WITHOUT being Dan!! do it!!!!! #at first the JL just think they’re dealing with a normal villain who’s angry at the world #the more details they get on him the more dread they feel #eventually they realize that they locked a 16-year-old away to be experimented on by the government for YEARS #and not that same kid is determined to ruin their lives #the GUILT. the PAIN. the realization that they so completely and fully failed this child #they’re speedrunning the 5 stages of grief and Danny is just like ‘oh no! anyways’ *fakes killing Red Robin to fuck with the bat*

[shmaroace]

don't get me wrong, i love all the positivity around being aro, like "be proud of being aro!! love who you are!!", but we never talk about how hard it is to reach that spot. so here's to the aros who are still trying to understand themselves, who aren't proud of who they are yet, who are still coming to terms with their new identity.

#i was in serious denial about being aro for a long time like i knew the label and knew it fit but i refused to use it for several months #even after that point it took a while for me to be comfortable with the label or saying it #and this is not a bad thing!! being aro basically requires you to undo all the societal brainwashing you grew up with #and there is so much arophobia that it's hard to find positivity #i got lucky w/ this blog and the people i follow but i know i had a hard time being as proud of myself and my queerness as i am now #this doesn't even really have to be an aro statement like i think it could fit most queer experiences #sorry for the long tags haha #aro #aromantic #arospec #aromanticism #aro pride #aro positivity #aroace #aspec #1k #5k #6k #7k

[biruesque]

dead end.

#revolutionary girl utena #mikage souji #mamiya chida #rgu #biruesque art #drawing this was an entire experience idk how 2 say it #i was like yeah i'll draw mikage and mamiya for spooky season #and then i discovered i really really really really hate mikage but in a funny way #like in a obsessed with making him suffer kind of way #and uh. well. this piece happened so um uh #enjoy what came out of being deranged about mikage for two whole days lol

[starry-bi-sky]

“Your brother is adorable.” The cashier cooed at Danny, peering over the counter with a smile. “What’s his name?”

Danny looked down to the surly, scowling little de-aged Batman currently holding onto his hand, glaring up at the cashier with bright blue eyes.

Things had already been bad enough when he’d gotten caught in a fight in Gotham, but things went from bad to worse when a magician had hit Batman with a de-aging spell and then shoved them through a portal.

Into a different fucking dimension.

Because of course neither of their lives could be easy. And now the two of them were stuck in Iowa in the middle of nowhere, at a truck stop gas station, trying to go on a cross-country roadtrip to reach the nearest hero city and get home.

He looked up and smiled awkwardly, trying to come up with a name off the top of his head — one of the heroes called Batman ‘B’ when he got hit right? B for Batman, right. B… B… Bee… Bees.

“Buzz.” He said, and tried not to grimace as the cashier’s face warped with surprise. “Like the astronaut.”

This was gonna be a long trip.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #older brother danny except its BRUCE’S TUUURRRB #why are they in another dimension? because otherwise they’d be found too quickly :) #danny has a backpack on him and irs currently holding bruce’s batman suit #bc ofc he’s not gonna leave that in a cornfield for someone to find #he’s extremely weirded out and antsy by the fact that he can see batman’s face #despite being a kid. it Feels Wrong. its respect for the secret identity #how old is bruce? younger than 10 #dpdc prompt #dpxdc prompt #older brother danny in progress #danny’s like. 15-ish thats why he’s so anxious #confident danny is fun and all but nervous danny ftw #none of their tech works bc they’re in a different dimension #its their ‘zuko life changing adventure’ trip. the cross country is vital to the bonding experience #nothing says ‘brotherly bonding’ like being forcibly shoved i to the next door dimension and going on a cross country road trip to get help #danny being a random dead kid hero. nobody important other than to his city and now he’s gotten himself involved with batman and co #danny: his name is buzz :) *internally screaming* #bruce is wearing stolen kid clothes they both look homeless #danny doesnt know bruce’s secret identity and vice versa #this is gonna be so fun danny’s gonna keep forgetting that bruce isnt actually a kid #bruce has the memories of his adult self but everything is kid-sized including his brain #so he’s not developmentally an adult all. his brain is that of a kid’s #starry says its bruce’s turn with the big brother >:((

[bastardlybonkers]

feetman

#hlvrai #half live vr but the ai is self aware #gordon freeman #gordon feetman #so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne #but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy #cause like to me #a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like #no actual stakes #dude is getting pissed for the sake of it #he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know #now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing #or how he got the game #is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows! #hes The Player #also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons #its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao #also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit #and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi #i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis #sorry for long tags

[satelliteduster]

oh my god i forgot to post my absolute favorite strip from gay comix (issue #2, 1981)

#this collection is full of so many hilarious vignettes #between the fictional and biographical they range from hilarious to saddening but theyre all candid looks at #lgbt life in the 60s 70s and 80s #id recommend it if you're interested in older underground work #edit: for ppl who notice the opening blurb i will say this: #1. Many artists in the underground comix scene (yes the lgbt ones too) delighted in being overly provocative for the sake of it #hence the cringeworthy 'political unity is not the goal' line #2. i worried abt this too when i started going thru the issues but there are quite a few strips and comics focusing on the trans experience #that said. there are unfortunately not a lot of transgender artists involved in this collection #3. given the preceding two points i think its fair to say that a good chunk of the strips in gay comix just. Suck #but like they actually said it's important that we're capable of recognizing that a full 40 years down the line #so we can actually learn something from the life experiences the mistakes and even the lack of perspective tht sm of these artists displayed #nocturnal writings

[gay-otlc]

Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.

#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man #and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans #but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women! #and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women #let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever #or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him' #yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge #transhet #anti-transmasculinity #again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too #antimasculism

[crow-cap]

#idk. thinking about zoro being Hatted and what circumstances would need to arise before that could happen #this isn’t finished it’s not that polished I just threw some filters at it and now I’m running away #but the CONCEPT. man I will probably draw more like this #so many ideas. so little time #started reading one piece a month (??) ago and I’ve barely made a dent in it #SO LITTLE TIME #I will become so powerful this summer after exams are over #zolu #(?) #op #one piece #monkey d luffy #crowcraft #zoro #roronoa zoro #luffy #the colours on this one are a bit dark but it was more experimental than anything #I tried out some screen tone brushes and a heavier ink one that I used to use #and the colours aren’t as weird as I usually go for #it was an experiment! these guys are rapidly becoming my new test subjects for drawing ideas #I don’t have a caption for this. I might just leave it blank #does zoro ever get the hat put on him?? I don’t think so but I also know jack diddly about later one piece lore #REGARDLESS #ok bye bye

[egophiliac]

I saw comments that the new butler from Ridekamens look like Sebek

He...kinda does

I wasn't gonna say it, but. that was kind of my first thought when he was revealed. :') maybe this is what Sebek's older brother is doing these days? he ran off to buttle for secret agents at a superhero cafe? actually wait that would be rad as heck, I'll accept this headcanon

#art #twisted wonderland #ride kamens #i don't know how to tag this in a way that won't annoy literally everyone so uhhhh sorry about that #'but his surname is aijo' it's his SECRET AGENT NAME gosh you wanna blow his cover or what #...okay to be fair they're not really that much alike #beyond being green manservants themed after reptiles and having sorta similar hair and...well their personalities are different anyway #then again we have yet to actually experience leon so who knows #we'll be in the middle of a tense battle of good vs evil and he just appears behind us screaming GOSHUJINSAMA YOUR DRYCLEANING!!! #actually based on his description this seems pretty likely. hm.

[lokorum]

funny crying little man for @poreyneel as my part of our art trade!! 

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

the idea behind it was "gortash after realising that durge is gone or dead. he is alone\ exhausted\ waiting for something that is not gonna happen". so ofc OFC i couldn't resist to use part of the infamous durge's love letter. im not sure if orin or balthazar\ketheric would cared enough to show it to gortash BUT IMAGINE IF THEY DID SDKFJKSFDKJSDF OH MY GOSH 

#enver gortash #bg3 #bg3 gortash #durgetash #durge x gortash #baldur's gate fanart #bg3 fanart #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate fanart #lord gortrash my beloved #and ooooooh thank you so much poreyneel for being the cutest!! #having the patience of a saint!!! and giving me literally the best first art trade experience!! #i had so much fun making this man as miserable as possible phphphp

[cemeterything]

#🐉 #this is what i love about being involved in community spaces for fiction though tbh #everyone has different personalized interpretations of the source material and some of them align with my own or make me go 'oh huh i never #thought of that but yeah i can see it' while some of them just dont compute at all and make me wonder if we saw the same thing #which of course. we didnt. or rather we saw the same objective source material but we *saw* it completely differently through the lens of #our own experiences and worldview. #its so cool #however i will sometimes be a hypocritical little hater about it

[reds-skull]

Sharing a mask is something that can be so intimate actually

#call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #ghoap #love that tag lmao #cod ghost #cod soap #cod fanart #if you couldnt tell i love soap's red mask #This is extremely self-indulgent #but so is this entire blog #this took way too long tbh but i enjoyed it #bc i experimented with a new style #dont expect anything this long in the near future tho i really need to work on my other non cod projects #also i keep going back and forth between thinking this is too cringe to post and being fine with it #but yknow i already made this blog and it not connected to my other blogs sooo if its that bad i can delete and disappear