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gayastrophilehistoryfreak · 5 months

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It's so hard to focus on writing an essay for English about gender equality when I keep getting confused about what my pronouns really are despite me being born a girl, or when I think of this girl from school and I keep getting this mysterious feeling that I'm supposed to be with her but I'm still so fond of the boy who sits right next to me but he has a gf and everytime I see him with her it pains my heart but I never let myself cry about it, then I'm also daydreaming about jegulus and wonder if I am enough to be someone's lover or am I even capable of being loved and be enough for them and my head feels so crowded that I wish there was an off button so I could have a moment of peace.

And my mom says that I'm the most normal person she knows.

#jegulus #confused #queer #adhd #do i have a problem?#am i mentally ill?#I think I love her #But does she love me?#I'm not enough #So empty #But crowded #What am I thinking #I don't even know anymore #I want the love they have #But I'm not yours #In my head #we kiss under the stars #I wish

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peachydinosaur · 3 months

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watching the star trek Enterprise finale and this shit SUCKS. overall this has been my least favorite star trek series and I've only made it this far out of stubbornness. it's had its good points but I'm almost always finding reasons to put off watching finales because it means the show I've been watching is over. i was so excited to put this on tonight because then it's DONE and i don't have to watch it ever again. this is weird and cheap and bad. it's awkward. extremely insincere. riker is here, but it's exceptionally vague about why. he's watching a holodeck program and troi is holding his hand the whole time until he. comes to a conclusion. makes his decision. says he's gonna talk to picard and that's it. absolutely no closure on that. they killed the token engineer that every fucked up thing happens to. VERY abruptly. AFTER troi SAYS he's going to die. what a fucking shitshow

#wish i had more things to say #wish i had literally ANYTHING positive to say about this finale but good fucking god #it feels rushed because it WAS rushed #i feel like they were really trying to say something at least for most of the series #the two episodes before the finale said 'racial supremacy is a bad stance and it's crazy to posit that you're under threat bc there's people #who are different from you'#the finale said nothing #said 'look riker and troi are here!! a third of the episode is them talking about what's happening in this episode :)'#said 'i already told you that after a ten year mission Archer would give a famous speech and sign a charter creating what would eventually #become the federation. anyways let me show it to you while those two gawk in the background'#so empty #so meaningless #anyways #star trek Enterprise #i said things

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daphnix · 23 days

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everything’s too much to handle i’ll never be anything in life. i’ll always live in anguish and despair

#everything feels so hopeless rn #so empty #i cant do anything #i feel so broken #my insides are rotten im nothing #vent

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sweetestgangster · 1 year

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#so empty #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #soft pink #sofia coppola #sylvia plath #im tired #female hysteria #pink blog

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touchmypixels · 11 months

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u guys weren’t joking about san sequoia being doodoo butter

#so empty #why did I move them there #like not even a single outdoor grill in this entire neighborhood???#NOTHING

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michaeljoncarter · 2 years

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Do you like Jason or no? Sorry if this sounds rude I just can't tell from your posts and am kinda curious haha

it doesn't sound rude! very valid question. and also a very loaded one

jason todd is simultaneously one of my favorite and least favorite characters of all time, and i’m going to take this opportunity to ramble aimlessly about my (mostly negative) feelings about him and how he’s written in modern comics because it haunts me every day <3

and knowing how fans of the bat people can be, this really feels like kicking a hornet's nest so quick disclaimer: THIS IS JUST MY OPINION! not a personal attack on people who like jason as he is now and oh my god i cannot stress to you enough how much i absolutely do not want to argue with people about this lol

jason when he was first introduced is honestly one of my all time favorite characters. he was solid and interesting and he had so much potential. imagine for a moment a world where everything didn’t suck and we got jason staying as a sometimes-ally-most-times-antagonist to the batfam instead of being shoehorned back into their ranks. (imagine. if dc allowed its characters to have complex personalities and relationships again. ever.)

instead of that, the second he was out of winick's hands, with few exceptions, other writers pretty much IMMEDIATELY started stripping him of everything that made him interesting and turned him into essentially just another stock villain running around doing shit that made no sense for his character when they needed someone to shove into the role of antagonist.

(and don’t get me wrong: he should be an antagonist 99% of the time imo, but... y’know. preferably in a way that like. makes sense for him. at all.)

then lobdell clowned his way onto the scene with the final nail for his coffin and now we have a jason todd who doesn't really ever use guns, doesn’t kill, doesn't seem to have any real problems with bruce or his code, and isn't even in gotham most of the time.

there's really no point to the modern iteration of jason. he's essentially just a worse version of dick. nobody has any idea what to do with him like he is now because there’s really not much there to... do anything with. he's a hollowed out shell of a character because we need him to fit nicely into the batfam, and all that pesky character motivation and drive gets in the way of that. god forbid a story have conflict beyond the occasional snarky one-liner

sometimes, other characters will say something about how crAaAaAzy jason is or how he’s the black sheep of the batfam or he’ll be referred to as an “anti-hero,” but he never... does anything? like he’s really no different than any of the other squeaky-clean bats at this point. just fully sanitized

the only thing even slightly setting him apart from everyone else is his murder, so they bring that up at every opportunity to give him some sort of defining feature, but they can't do it in any logical way because then they'd have to stray into anti-hero territory and put him at odds with the batfam, so it's only in the most ridiculously superficial ways possible.

it's just like... him bringing up his death constantly is funny until you realize the writers are doing it so often because it's pretty much the only character trait he has left lol

the only real constant with modern jason is that everybody who comes within 30ft of him starts acting stupid and wildly out of character because he may be the most badly written and nonsensically characterized bitch of all time, but he's got a big fanbase, so writers want him to be the best, most specialest boy in the world at all times to appease them, and the only way they seem to know how to do that is by bringing down the iq of everyone around him so he'll look good in comparison.

it's gotten to the point where seeing he's going to be in a book feels like a bad omen because 9 times out of 10, anything he's in has absolutely shit writing because he's just GOT to be the strongest, smartest person in the room even when the room is full of gods, superpeople, and heroes who've been doing this shit 10x as long as he has.

it was already annoying BEFORE he "reformed," when he actually arguably had the slightest bit of an edge by virtue of usually being more ruthless and willing to cross lines than the heroes he'd fight, but now he doesn't even have that.

there's just nothing special or interesting about him! he does nothing! he's boring! and for no good reason! there’s so much they could be doing with him, but instead he’s..... sitting there. in bruce's shadow. stagnating. it's so annoying. he's just... an amalgamation of pretty much everything wrong with modern comics for me

sooooo to answer the question: i liked him a lot, but as far as i'm concerned, bruce killed him with that batarang to the neck at the end of the under the red hood arc, and there's been some sort of shapeshifter/bizarro version of him running around ever since, and that character, i despise