#so fuck me i guess

[cat-mentality]

Sad QSMP headcannons that have like half a toenail in canon.

The French version:

Baghera cries very silently, like someone who is used to having to keep quiet.

She also has a very high pain tolerance and she didn't understand why until recently.

When Pomme disappeared Baghera was terrified that the Federation had something to do with that, terrified that her little girl would be at the hands of the people who made her and hurt her so badly.

As much as she wants to hate the Federation for having hurt her, at the same time she can't and that makes everything so much worse.

Baghera doesn't have wings. But she does have two scars on her back where no feathers have ever grown.

Antoine was not prepared to actually get attached to any of the French, or even to Pomme. He knows he is in too deep, has too much to lose if he cuts ties with the Federation, and yet it twists something inside of him when he thinks about their possible reactions, especially Etoiles. For the first time in a very long existence he understands what friendship is, knows what it feels like instead of just watching others experience it, and is very aware that he will lose it all.

That is why Antoine was so pissed off at Osito for being careless with the picture, the earlier they discover about his true past, the earlier he will lose them.

If the Federation truly had Pomme he would have burned it all down himself just to bring her back.

The first time Cucurucho saw Antoine angry was after the torture session nearly killed Pierre for good. No one knows who was more shocked by his display, Cucurucho or Antoine himself.

Pierre continues to trouble sleeping and constant nightmares when he does, he can't remember the last time he managed to truly rest without waking up in a cold sweat or screaming, he is always on the verge of passing out and even when he does crash he still has nightmares.

He refuses to acknowledge it or even talk about it, hides his exhaustion with everything he has, pushes people away just to make sure they wouldn't realize there is something wrong, too afraid they will see a weakness to be exploited.

Pierre hates being alone as much as he craves it- He likes being by himself working on his machines and keeping his secrets close to his chest, but at the same time when he is alone is when the dark thoughts take over

He will, on occasion, not exactly seek to get himself hurt but not exactly avoid it either- If he can feel pain it means that there is something human in him doesn't it?

But Pierre hates dying and he will avoid and lash out when put into such a situation. He fears what will wake up, if it will still be him.

Sometimes Kameto look at the rest of the Islanders and he wonders what his own life could have been, what sort of bonds he could have forged with people, if the Federation didn't come for him first.

Etoiles does not know what his worth is if not as a warrior.

He is not smart like the others, he doesn't build pretty buildings or incredible machines, he doesn't know how to do anything but fight. And if he can't fight, if he can't protect the people he cares about, then why is he still around?

War is everything Etoiles really knows. By the time he reached his late teens and was released from the battlefield he had seen more combat than some people in their old age, everything he knew how to do was to fight, he had nowhere to go, knew no one, had nothing.

He was never able to settle down for too long or even to truly build himself a home, Etoiles knew so very little about the world that he just decided he would explore it. Some people in the army talked about things they missed, things they thought worth fighting for, and Etoiles wanted to understand that feeling of fighting for anything but his own survival.

To this day he still feel more comfortable fighting than he ever does doing anything else.

None of them ever had families.

The concept of family was something Antoine learned by watching other species and for a very long time it was not something he truly understood or could relate. It was only after the plane crash and Pomme that it hit him that maybe he can understand this thing now.

Baghera always thought she was just an orphan with amnesia. She had very little memories of her young years and none of them involved other people, just her and a room, so for a long time she believed she was alone in the world. Even now she struggles with that emptiness, especially now that she knows that the Federation may be the closest thing to family that she will ever have.

Etoiles had parents once. He knows he did, but he cannot remember their faces or even their voices most of the time. He was still just a small child when they came for him and sent him to war.

Pierre was always alone. He had parents but they could as well be ghosts haunting their home, he hardly could see glimpses of them from time to time, all he ever truly had were his machines.

#enough happiness it's sad bitch o'clock #im just here to bring the mood down and peace out #qsmp #qsmp headcanons #qsmp baghera #qsmp etoiles #qsmp antoine #qsmp aypierre #i hate all of those people and their fucking depressing lores #i hope they get hugs and hot cocoa #im just dumping my thoughts out because i need to focus on other things #i may do one of those for the others but idk yet #i have like 50 hc for one character and like 0 for others lmao #and i feel genuinely bad for not including everyone #so fuck me i guess

[goose-juice-2]

My favorite Beatles picture are the ones that kind look like they could be from a coming of age fill, especially the mcharrison ones

#there’s one specific photo that I can’t find with this exact vibe #so fuck me i guess #george harrison #paul mccartney #the beatles #mcharrison

[sammyloomis]

what got me thru yesterday was the fact i was getting chippy on the way home and what got me thru today was the fact i had leftover chippy from yesterday to eat when i got home

#ash.txt #its the little things uwu #1 more day and then i get my 1 day off #which isnt rly a day off because its christmas and as we all know christmas is not a day of rest #but a day of stress and having to be On all the time #so FUCK ME I GUESS #and then its another week of shows and then im FREE #FREEEEEEE

[totalspiffage]

Starting to feel bad about my lack of any career advancement or satisfaction so I think time for bed before I start blaming myself for my many limitations

#sometimes I'm like okay but j could go way deep into debt moving to a place i hate for a few more cool roles but #sigh #disabled so that won't go well at all #so fuck me i guess #just gonna be forever looking at everyone else doing great!!! #anyway i do commercials good

[adrianasunderworld]

Sometimes maybe Miss Yuu wants to be like a Disney princess so Neige buys her all these fairytale-esque dress and cutesy jewelry and she wears them with pride-much to the dismay of NRC

(I mean sh*t-i wanna wear frilly dresses and call myself a pretty princess)

(Same, i want to frolic somewhere in a frilly dress the way i was meant to.)

Neige would absolutely make her the princess of RSA. I'm just picturing a bunch of guys falling over each trying do everything for her in the name chivalry. "Because that's what princes do." Over the top heroics all day everyday.

Also for some damn reason Tumblr won't let me attach pictures here. (I've tried so many times😭) But I can make a separate post. So here is Miss Yuus NRC Lookbook.

Something like that is how I think Miss Yuu dresses when not in uniform. Very much still in that cottagecore realm, but a bit more homemade looking and obviously in darker or less bright colors. Because in my head, Yuu (Or at least my Yuu) knows how to sew and has to make her own clothes. So lots of simple skirts that you can tell she made from old table cloths and curtains. Dresses with contrasting panels or patches because she had ran out of fabric and had to improvise. The oversized jackets and shirts, are from a few of the boys that let her have some of their stuff. Like a sweatshirt of Jacks of a jacket from Trey. 

I like to think Miss Yuu cares a lot about her clothes. There is very little she can do in her present situation, and her appearance is one of the few things she can control. It something she does solely for her own benefit to make herself feel good. Grim and the first years are aware of this and know better than to complain when she cant decide what to wear, or drags them to Sams shop for sewing supplies. It may not matter to them, but it matters to her, and they don't want to take that from their friend. 

#twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst girl yuu #miss yuu #fashion #I've had to write this many times because all my process got lost everytime i tried to upload with pictures #i couldn't even save in the drafts for later #i thought it wasy internet connection but it let me make a separate post of the pictures #so fuck me i guess #but anyway give yuu all the pretty dresses

[natjennie]

YAY ELLIS OF WOOLWORTH MY BEST FRIEND ELLIS OF WOOLWORTH :) wait jk jk i forgot it's his brother or whatever but yayyyy ben in a wig :)

#theyre twins #so fuck me i guess #yonderland #the gummy is kicking in #ben willbond

[dandunn]

5am WIP time!!!

#i started writing this as a short break from reset #but it involves context from reset and wont make sense until chapter 5 is out #so fuck me i guess #jiglup #lupin the third #jesse's writing #its some good shit tho i prommy i wish you guys could see it lmao

[merinate]

god im so tired already and i'd done maybe ⅙ of the shit i have to do for tomorrow

#i completely forgot abt this assignment #so fuck me i guess #merin’s talking

[coldflasher]

me seeing a job listing for a job in romance publishing, which is basically my dream job, with a salary that's higher than my current salary, advertised as remote, and that i'd probably have a solid shot at getting due to my current level of work experience: 👀

me clicking on it and seeing, as i knew it would be, because every job in my industry is, that it's in fucking london, and "remote" actually means "you have to come into the office in central london at least two days a week even though literally every part of this job could be done from home, making it completely inaccessible unless you want to uproot your whole life, move halfway across the country and live in a shoe cupboard*:

#fuck this fucking industry i swear to god #EVERY PUBLISHING JOB IS IN LONDON #i basically have the only vaguely publishing-adjacent job on my side of the country. and i'm stuck here because i have no other options #my entire support system is here and i would SUFFER in london bc i hate cities. #not to mention that property in london is stupidly expensive #i mean property is stupidly expensive everywhere #but like. what gets me a 2 bed house in the north probably wouldn't even buy me a parking space in central london #i don't even actually hate my job you know. believe it or not considering how much i moan about it. like it's fine #but every now and then i see an opportunity that makes me realize how much cooler and more interesting jobs are out there that i'd actually #be passionate about. and because the industry i'm interested in is so rigid and. if we're being honest. classist #any of these opportunities are completely off-limits #so fuck me i guess

[blakyoo]

the fucked up thing is. i want to have tits but i dont want to lose topless privileges. or to become unable to use sleeveless tshirts without having to use a bra. what the fuck do i do man

#my ass when i cant have my cake and eat it too 😡😡🤬🤬😢😢 #sleeveless tshirts are like half of what i use for 70% of the year cuz its so hot here #so fuck me i guess #or tank tops whatever theyre called

[anaalnathrakhs]

i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.

#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating #i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice. #i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything. #i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years #i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating #i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group #nowhere i go will be free of obligations #i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway #my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not #they see me binge and nothing happens #we just ignore it #i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished #hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me #i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life #both meals with other people and my ritual binges #i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging #and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food #to other people #it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction #my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want #or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie #or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something #and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :) #and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly. #so badly that no one can deny i need help #i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital. #no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim #i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me #but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care. #so fuck me i guess

[thebookishwallflower]

listen listen i fuckin love harry and james being drawn/written as desi i think it’s great really but i just saw some art of james that looked like an absolute Fuck from my school and james was damn hot and now i want to kill someone

#harry potter #james potter #desi harry potter #desi james potter #so fuck me i guess #ick

[random-conspiracy]

Thought in progress:

"No desprecies las suplicas que te hacemos en estas nuestras necesidades / Do not despise our petitions in time of trouble"

#mmmmmmmm #this one is a pain in the ass #but it has a permit from Below Brain Dep. #so fuck me I guess

[kittyhazelnut]

venting don't mind me

my mom has been on my ass basically since the moment I woke up to go to school so I've basically been in my room all day ignoring my parents and my dad went upstairs to tell me they got The Good Cupcakes and I was like "cool" and stayed in bed and I finally got up to go treadmill while I watch Loki except I haven't eaten in over eight hours because I've obviously been in my room the whole time so I wanted a cupcake and I couldn't find them and my dad came out while I was putting my shoes on and I asked him where the cupcakes were and he said they were in the microwave and then he left to go to bed and then I looked in the microwave and there's a fucking sticky note that says "Mom's cupcakes" on them and I can't tell if this is a joke and I can eat them or if my parents are just being dicks and they're both already in bed so i can't ask so I guess I'm treadmilling on a completely empty, cupcakeless stomach tonight :/

#i wouldve come down a few minutes earlier if i didnt think i could just grab a cupcake #but there's nothing quick to snack on and i need time to shower before bed and still get enough sleep for school and work tomorrow #so fuck me i guess #and it doesn't help that this morning my mom basically said i have no rights in the house I've lived in since i was two #and she made such a big deal about it being Her House #that i really dont want to assume the sticky note is a joke and eat Her Cupcakes #i wonder how the weight loss and prediabetes management is going -_-

[crispinkiss]

outer wilds dark bramble u are my enemy

#i already have a horrible fear of large sea creatures you cannot do this to me #to find feldspars camp and the escape pod i just went in with my suit but i don't have enough oxygen to last until the vessel #so fuck me i guess

[h-f-k]

Went to an art/design bookstore and i grabbed a beautiful book about books from the middle ages and i was “huh i want this” and my mom literally ran towards me and said “oh my god i want this one! Give it to me as a present for mother’s day”like…

#bro i swear to god… #i ended up buying the fucking book for her bc she will get mad if me and my brother gif her something else #sO FUCK ME I GUESS