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peterpparkrr · 2 years

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Pinned (pt. 5)

Series: Pinned

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x f!reader

Summary: A walk home and an intersession.

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: n/a

A/N: sorry for the delay! Covid #shreked me so this one’s a short one.

prev. part // next part

“Lord Bridgerton,” A clear voice greets him as he pushes through the door of Mr. Raugland’s tailor shop.

Anthony didn’t think he would ever tire of how you say his name. The bite had disappeared from your words in the last few weeks, but the teasing tone remained, and he loves it.

He still can’t quite put his finger on what it is that draws him to you. Why you are the woman that has completely ensnared his attention.

But he feels like he can’t get enough of you.

“To what do I owe this poorly timed pleasure?” You ask as you give him a knowing look. You want to admonish him, he can see it in your eyes. But, surprisingly, you hold your tongue, causing Anthony to break out into a wide grin, knowing he’s won.

You loathe to admit it. But you like Anthony Bridgerton. You like the attention he gives you. And the way he looks at you, like he wants to know you. To truly know every part of you, not just to undress you and have his way with you.

Though sometimes you feel his gaze heat as he looks at you and you know that there is that too.

And even when he bothers you at the worst times, you can’t stay mad at him. Not when he smiles at you the way he does.

“I believe this is actually the perfect time to bother you, because you’re done at five today, which means you can help me find a new cravat,” Anthony explains as if it is obvious. “And then I can escort you home,” He adds as he lowers his voice to a near-whisper.

“You always have ulterior motives, Lord Bridgerton,” You reply as you cross your arms over your chest.

“No, I just need excuses to see you,” He tells you. “And your indifference wounds me, if I were a lesser man…” He trails off.

“A lesser man would have given up by now,” You remind him.

“Which is exactly why I get to reap the spoils of my hard work,” He tells you. “Your company,” He adds when your eyebrows raise at his response.

“My company? Is that what it is?” You reply as you try not to smirk too broadly at him.

“Of course,” Anthony replies quickly as he clasps his hands behind his back.

“Of course.”

After helping Anthony pick out a cravat that would match his waistcoats he makes his purchase and is off with a heated look. After you help another customer you leave the shop in one of your coworker’s capable hands.

You gathered your belongings from the back and left out the back door. You find Anthony already waiting for you in the alley.

“Shall we?” He asks.

You roll your eyes but nod as you both make your way, taking the long way, winding through London’s side streets as you two head back to your flat, talking of everything and nothing as you navigate the busy streets.

You’re nearly to your flat when Anthony suddenly reaches out and grabs your wrist, pulling you into an alleyway between buildings.

You gasp at the sudden movement, trying to right yourself as you press your hands into Anthony’s chest in an effort to keep yourself upright.

Anthony grins down at you as one of his hands finds its way to your neck, gently cradling your head.

“You can’t do that here!” You chastise him in a low hiss as your own hand moves to grab at his wrist and stop his movements.

“Who’s going to see?” Anthony challenges.

“All of my neighbors for one,” You argue as you give him a stern look.

He merely raises an eyebrow at you.

“Sorry, for us lowly peasants there is no entertainment except for our neighbors' comings and goings, I’m sure you would not understand, since you are such a high and mighty Lord of the realm-”

“That’s enough of that-” Anthony cuts you off as he grabs onto your forearm and pulls you back towards him.

And you know you shouldn’t. But you let him.

He kisses you soundly. You’d assumed, perhaps naively, that after your first kiss, Anthony’s urgency would dissipate. But the man kisses like a man dying of thirst. His lips attack your own like he fears you may disappear any moment.

And you feel like you just might.

He groans lowly as he presses ever harder against you. The space between you is long gone, but you still feel like it’s not enough. You want him inside of you. In a way that you can’t even fully describe. Not in the way that you know he wants, as you can feel the instance of his need low and heavy against your lower stomach, which sets something else alight deep within you.

But then suddenly you remember you are just steps away from a busy street, fully in view, and fully in public, practically in broad daylight.

You gasp as you pull away from him.

“We must stop,” You tell him breathlessly.

“Must we?” Anthony asks lowly as his mouth still rests just beside your cheek.

You are a very dangerous man, Anthony Bridgerton,”

Anthony growls in your ear as he finally pulls himself away from you and stares deeply into your eyes.

You’re mesmerized by his blown-out irises, the desire evident all across his face.

“Perhaps…” He starts to offer as he stares down at you intently.

“My brother will be home any minute, we...I can’t,” You tell him quickly.

You see something flash across Anthony’s face that you can’t quite discern. You just silently pray that it isn’t a look of disappointment.

“No, of course, of course, we can’t,” He agrees quickly.

“I…I should go,” You tell him.

Anthony nods.

You offer him a small smile before you hop up onto your toes to press a brief kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you for escorting me, Lord Bridgerton.”

A few days later, you’re just about ready to fall over when you finally push through the door of your flat. You almost don’t even notice John sitting at the table as you dump your things on the chair by the door.

“Oh, John!” You greet him as you pull off your cloak and hang it on its hook. “How was your day?”

“Someone saw you,” John tells you as he stares at you, his face stern. “With your fancy little Lord.”

“Who?” You ask sharply as your head whips around to stare at him. You feel your stomach drop. “For the last time, Mrs. Haymow doesn’t know what she’s talking about-”

“-You need to stop this. Whatever you have with that man, you need to put an end to it. Before this destroys everything you’ve built for yourself.”

“If this were to get out? Properly, I mean, it would ruin us,” He tells you. “Everything we’ve built for ourselves would be gone.”

Him. It would ruin him. That is what John really means. His political aspirations would go down the drain if something like this were to get out.

But you know he’s right. He’d been the one who’d pulled the two of you out of destitution. You’d saved yourselves from the workhouse thanks to John’s entrepreneurial spirit. Thanks to his hard work. He’d been the one to save you both when you’d still been a child.

You know you owe him your life.

“You’re right,” You say after a long moment, when you finally glance back up at him. “I’ll end it.”

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astroprompts · 4 months

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✧ —𝐁𝐎𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 [𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝟑]

“Darling, you're doing marvelously, I am so proud of you.”

“Just write a script for me, so I don't have to think for myself.”

“You better not have gotten your failure stink all over my important movie star clothes.”

“That is going to lead to some wackiness. You mark my words.”

“Hey, champ, I have a very important job for you.”

“Why does everything I love fall apart as soon as I touch it?”

“What legacy of ruin am I left with? What rewards have I reaped for the damage done?”

“You look different. Older. A lot older.”

“I'm not interested in being rebirthed. I'm still recovering from being birthed the first time.”

“I want to do things that connect with people, things that last.”

“If I'm going to sacrifice my journalistic integrity, it's because I'm having sex with a movie star.”

“How do you make something right when you've made it so wrong you can never go back?”

“Thanks a lot. Once again, you've been no help whatsoever.”

“What, you're just gonna stay at home and get drunk all day?”

“Let's get wrecked and get Shreked.”

“You're bright and you're funny and you're handsome and you're talented. But if you can't see that, then you're the biggest, dumbest piece of shit in the world.”

“If you get scared, look for me in the audience. I'll be there the whole time, laughing and cheering louder than anyone.”

“Thirty years I threw into this job, and it destroyed me from the inside out.”

“A lot of guys in your position wouldn't take gigs like this. They'd be afraid people would make fun of them.”

“If you care about what other people think, you're never gonna do anything.”

“Put the corpse on ice, I'm on my way.”

“I'm not avoiding you. I'm just making an effort to not be in a room alone with you because I am... Avoiding you.”

“You know, I think we're alike in a lot of ways. Sometimes that's great, but it also means we can bring out the worst in each other.”

“I just think maybe it's better, for both of us, if we keep things a little more professional.”

“It smells like a skunk skunked another skunk in here, then they smoked a joint. What happened?”

“Sometimes you need to take responsibility for your own happiness.”

“It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are, even longer to see it doesn't have to be that way.”

“I haven't seen you since high school. You look great!”

“My dumb best friend's getting married, so I'm here for the rehearsal dinner.”

“Boring regular people love it when movie stars show up and drink their alcohol.”

“This is not the time for one of your weird stories that go nowhere.”

“If you're lucky enough to find someone you can halfway tolerate, sink your nails in and don't let go, no matter what.”

“One day, you're gonna look around and you're going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.”

“I would seriously like to know what crawled up your butt, made a home for itself in your butt, started a family, lived a fruitful life, and then died up your butt.”

“When you do bad things, you have something you can point to when people eventually leave you. It's not you, you tell yourself, it's that bad thing you did.”

“Listen, I've been with guys like you before, and I know this thing works better if we keep a little distance.”

“It's so sad that when you see someone as they really are, it ruins them.”

“You're sweet. You shouldn't waste that on people who don't deserve it.”

“Are you sure this whole thing isn't just a semi-lucid fever dream from mixing the wrong pills?”

“It's so cruel to let people love you. All you're doing is promising you'll one day break their hearts.”

“We don't really have the kind of relationship where we talk about things.”

“Just because you have a shitty relationship with your family doesn't mean every other family has to have drama too.”

“Ugh! Why did I get my hopes up? Why do I keep letting you get my hopes up?”

“Do a girl a favor, don't break her heart by inches. Do it all at once. It'll save everyone some time.”

“Should we get dinner, or are you just thinking drinks?”

“Good luck finding another charming first-generation Italian immigrant with this kind of darling accent, who makes equally delightful malapropisms!”

“Is there a single woman you've worked with who you haven't tried to groggily thrust yourself into?”

“You're such a self-pitying masochist, I could say ten nice things and one mean thing, you would only hear the one mean thing.”

“Did you ever love me? At all?”

“You know that I don't do the whole love thing. Either you end up hurting someone or they hurt you. So, what's the point?”

“I do love you, by the way. I mean, as much as I'm capable of loving anyone.”

“I assure you the animated GIFs with which I describe this encounter shall be scathing!”

“You can't keep doing shitty things, and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay!”

“You are all the things that are wrong with you. It's not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It's you.”

“Your skin is so soft, it's like you murdered a baby and stole its skin. Your skin is murdered-baby soft.”

“Let's get higher than a stilt walker's dick!”

“If you have to listen to losers talk about their shitty sober lives, it's a lot more fun to be buzzed.”

“You're going to want to rush in there and do whatever you can to save them, but you have to stop yourself, because there are some people you can't save. 'Cause those people will thrash and struggle and try to take you down with them.”

“I always forget that there are more than just the six stars you can see in the Los Angeles sky.”

“In the great grand scheme of things, we're just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten.”

“The only thing that matters is right now, this moment. This one spectacular moment we are sharing together.”

“I'm poison. I come from poison. I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch.”

“I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived, and I have nobody in my life who's better off for having known me.”

“What's your deal? I feel like you like me, but you don't like me, but you like me, and I don't know what that is.”

“Are you gay? You can tell me if you're gay, it's fine. This isn't the 1600s, or some places in the present.”

“I'm not gay. I mean, I don't think I am, but... I don't think I'm straight, either.”

#rp meme #ask meme #dialogue prompt #sentence starters #bojack horseman

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dumbass-tumbler-cryptid · 4 months

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Any flashback snippets from the early days of the kidnapping? This part interests me the most at this moment 😅

Oh I’ve got plenty. I’ve basically been writing a Cabin 2.0 that I’ll break up among the different endings as flashbacks. I plan on posting everything in order on here though at some point, maybe when Cabin finally drops, maybe before if I just feel like sharing because it’s not like it’s a spoiler, it’s just an expansion of what I’ve already published.

Anyway enjoy!

****************************************************

“What are you doing,” Spider shreked, rearing away from the touch.

Quaritch sighed, “well you can’t eat layin’ down.”

Horror flooded Spider as he realized what was about to happen. “You're not going to uncuff me?”

“Nope.” Quaritch took his opportunity to grab Spider again, this time succeeding in lifting up the stunned boy, propping him up with pillows. Then Quaritch took a fork in hand, skewered a roasted carrot and held it to Spider’s lips, “Alright now, open up.” Spider clamped his mouth shut, shaking his head. No way in hell was he about to endure this humiliation. He’d rather starve than be fed by this monster. “Miles,” Quaritch said with authority, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. And you sure won’t like the hard way. Now be a good boy and eat your dinner.”

Spider wanted to mock the condescending bastard. He wanted to scream in his face. Instead he turned away, pointedly staring out the window instead. Quaritch sighed, “I am not leaving until this plate is cleared, y’a hear me. Now you face me and eat your dinner.”

“You’ll leave if I eat?”

The disappointment radiated off the man, “yes.”

“For the whole night? You’ll completely leave me alone, no sitting there, staring at me like a creeper.”

Quaritch sighed again, “If that’s what’ll get you to eat son then yes. I will leave you ‘till mornin’.”

“Promise.”

“I’m a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them.”

“You’ve murdered and kidnapped but you draw the line at lying?”

“Are you gonna face me or do I need to come over to that side?” Spider turned his head, glaring daggers at his kidnapper. He didn’t want to take anything from this demon. But he couldn’t stand the thought of Quaritch being around him any longer. Couldn’t take another hour of the man staring at him like a coveted prize. Spider needed to be alone so he could think and process everything. And he needed that more than he feared humiliation. His glare never wavered as he slowly opened his mouth just wide enough for the fork to pass through. “There y’a go,” Quaritch praised while he watched Spider chew. “That’s my good boy.” He speared a bite of chicken. Spider took it easily. The process was agonizingly slow, every morsel another taste of shame that only added to the last until internally, he was a complete wreck of utter embarrassment.

#spider socorro #miles spider socorro #miles quaritch #colonel miles quaritch #cabin in the woods #avatar fanfiction #my fanfic

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fairiers · 1 year

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It started out as a smol joke in AURORA 2.0 discord server...

The True Sky Lore

The universe is made of thousands of galaxies, and these galaxies formed into...

M E G A D O N K E Y

And that big spirit flying with us in orbit is actually...

Shrekora

So we are all Shrek skids :D

We go to Eden to get shreked.

We collect winged lights to give to our megadonkey.

That's also why cure for me ultimate pants are in green.

Remember you are part of Shrek and megadonkey awaits your return.

🍀🐢🍀🐢🍀🐢🍀🐢

Happy April Fools!

#sky cotl #sky fanart #thatgamecompany #shrek #shrekora #megadonkey #season of aurora #happy april fools

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internetskiff · 4 months

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Pony Island 2 has the potential to be the funniest DMG game ever methinks. If the Pony Island 1 Daemons come back Asmodeus would be so fucking pissed about it it'd be so hilarious.

"Death will be a great adventure"

> proceeds to come back in other games Satan has created

> is then dragged back to his original position

(bonus points if Buer is dragged back aswell for no discernable reason to make it even worse for him)

What if King Yan doesn't even give a shit about ponies which is why the new iteration of the arcade cabinet tries to stray as far as possible from that. He wanted to make a survival game. But then oops! Yeah the fucking Devil just escaped Hell. We need someone in charge of Pony Island! Stat!

So now he's forced to try and work his ideas into that mess of a game. He can't get rid of the Pony itself though. That's Satan's pride and joy. A testament to his game design genius. Nevermind that he's probably forgotten about Pony Island by now and is living it large as the CEO of a videogame company. Literally every single person that isn't the Devil fucking despises having to deal with Pony Island. Being assigned to that game is probably the REAL worst possible fate for a digital being, it's just that literally none of the Gameworks NPCs even know that game exists.

If being assigned to Inscryption is the NPC equivalent of Dreamworks employees being "Shreked" as punishment, Pony Island is.. dear god.. no, no I shan't say..

Let's just say Asmodeus suffered a fate way worse than a "Shrek-ing".

#Pony island #Pony island 2 #Panda circus #Asmodeus.exe #rambling

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starleska · 1 year

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Hey pal just wanted to ask: do you have any articles or more info on the whole "getting Shreked" situation that was happening during Shrek's production? I've seen several people say that animators who weren't performing well enough were sent to work on Shrek, but I haven't seen anyone actually link a source or say anything more about it (and Google isn't helping). It just sounds so bizarre and hilarious that I'd love to know more about this. Like, why did they all send them to work on Shrek specifically? Why was Shrek predicted not to be profitable? Why was Shrek apparently the lowest of the low work? And how the hell is it such a great movie if it was made largely by people who were seen as underperforming? So many questions

hey there lovely!! :3c thanks so much for sending this my way - i'd be happy to provide you with sources!! with this kind of revelation it's very easy for lots of folk to just parrot one another without citing the original sources. here you go:

the central claim of the 'getting Shreked' punishment comes from writer and journalist Nicole LaPorte, who wrote 'The Rules of Hollywood' column for the LA Times Magazine as well as a number of other publications, including The New Yorker and New York Times.

LaPorte wrote a book called 'The Men Who Would Be King: An Almost Epic Tale of Moguls, Movies, and a Company Called Dreamworks'. in this book it is claimed that animators who failed on other projects (specifically 'The Prince of Egypt') were 'Shreked' or sent to 'The Gulag' to work on Shrek. LaPorte cites her sources as being animators who worked at DreamWorks.

in her article for the New York Post, journalist Susannah Cahalan reports that 'Shrek' was viewed as a low-budget endeavour, and that the 'Propellerheads' sent to work on it (largely college graduates) were doing something 'inferior' compared to the 2D animators. presumably this is because of when Shrek was being developed - 3D animation had yet to take off in a big way, and there was serious pretension around the superiority of hand-drawn, 2D animation, especially compared to motion-capture work.

William Steig's 'Shrek!' wasn't considered the most thematically rich material, either - placed alongside the epic Biblical narrative of 'The Prince of Egypt', DreamWorks at large had no idea what a success Shrek would become.

in general, the development of 'Shrek' was troubled with a lot of writers and actors changing hands during the process - for instance, 'Shrek' was originally supposed to be Chris Farley, not Mike Myers. Farley died during the project, and journalist Jim Hill gives a more thorough overview into the difficult production of Shrek and the eventual casting of Myers.

you can understand why this production hell led to such a biting, cynical, fresh take on the classic fairy tale story with serious disdain for 'perfection' in all of its forms!! i think the movie is great because it is made up of people shoved right to the bottom of the barrel who weren't allowed to exercise their creative talents in the big leagues...they found themselves unrestricted, and that helped hugely. you could be axed for a simple mistake on a huge film, but at the time, no one cared about 'Shrek'!

hope that helps 🥰💖 there will be some lovely, much cleverer people out there than i who can help fill in the gaps 😉

#shrek #puss in boots: the last wish #dreamworks #starleskasks #starleskatalks

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twisted-wonderland-but-gayer · 2 years

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Im gonna ruin malleus his little perfect rich people speech fuck that I'll make him spend so much time w me hanging out doing absolutely fucking nothing that the next thing u know malleus is calling everyone on campus a goofy ahh mf -🕴️

I wanna introduce him to very dated and niche memes. Fuck teaching him deez jokes. Were gonna get him talking like an early 2000s shitposter with stuff like "get shreked" to pwn.

Also can you imagine. "Hmm the human has referred to Deuve as a 'goofy ahh motherfucker' because of the way he's dressed. I know what motherfucker means but that first part..."

Silver: No clue.

"Since it's based on how they're dressed, your you be goofy ahh too?"

#not writing #not requests #🕴anon

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baryonyxclaws · 2 years

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I kept getting ideas lately of a fantasy au based off the mtmte comics with a lot of liberties. (also angel eyes by Abba really helped with this piece for some reason)

Some of these liberties include, like what if Whirl and Tailgate became friends first, before Cyclonus joins the gang? would these two be the biggest trouble makers after becoming friends? would tailgate who recently been cursed to never talk again be able to find her voice in different ways, with the help of someone who due to their own curse keeps everyone at arms length? what would happen if tailgate learned to use their powerful imagination for not just lies but for writing stories? hmmm...

In this fantasy au with kingdoms, magic, and curses, the Lost Light is a theatre troupe that’s really a spy ring underneath traveling around doing shows but gathering info and helping key players escape in secret. Rodimus is installed as the troupe leader as both a test of how he does in the leadership position but also to keep him out of trouble in a time of fragile peace. Magnus is still his second in command mainly to make sure everyone makes it back in one piece and that Rodimus doesn’t get too wild with his theatrics.

The roster of players in the troupe can change every time they revisit the main Autobot stronghold, usually it stays the same with those who are put there cause they’re troublemakers and those who take the mission seriously. (think of it like when dreamworks was making the prince of Egypt and Shrek at the same time and sent animators to work on Shrek when they were being too silly. they got shreked.)

so many ideas but as usual my pacing with it is horrible so I'm just gonna leave it here with tailgate and whirl staring at the newcomer in the mess hall being perfectly innocent they definitely didn’t do anything recently to give Ratchet anymore grey hairs.

#transformers #humanformers #whirl #tailgate #idw #my art #still catching up with the lore of everything it's a lot to take in so forgive me if stuff is all over the place #also the angst and cuteness ideas i have for when cyclonus joins the troupe #yesss

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dream-to-be-frog · 2 years

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not me smiling like a psycho when gayatri leaves raj and he experiences heartbreak for the first time and realizes what he did to those poor other women. so true get shreked

#bachna ae haseeno #bollywood #frog watches bollywood

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stevesunu · 1 year

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all star by smash mouth “jokes” that now live on tumblr instead of twitter part 3

i came in like a shreking ball i never hit so hard in love all i wanted was to break your walls all you ever did was shrek me yeah you, you shrek me

smash mouth by mouthwest

tay now you’re an all star get your game on go play

this is a taylor swift tweet

dance like nobody’s watching reference smash mouth like everybody’s watching and hates it

remember to write your favorite band to ask them to cover all star by smash mouth

#allstarbysmashmouth

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dr-archeville · 2 years

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youtube

The ALIEN Killer Klowns From Outer Space Species Explored | What Exactly Are They? [source]

“So you see a Meteorite, You feel the wind, somehow you don’t get absolutely shreked, then you find your worst nightmare. A Circus tent in the middle of the woods. WHY DO YOU ENTER. Well its because you have no sense of self preservation of course! As this species touched down on Earth, they immediately realized, humans tasted delicious, as such the reaping of the Homo sapiens race began! But something is strange about these creatures, they don’t seem to have any weaknesses so why is that? Well let’s discuss that in today’s episode!” [33 min 14 sec]

#Roanoke Gaming #Killer Klowns from Outer Space #clowns #aliens

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shrekademia · 1 year

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The Making of Shrek: From Flop to the Top

While Shrek has received high levels of acclaim, including becoming the first film to win the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature and raking in nearly $490 million in the box office, Shrek was never supposed to be a success. In fact, it was actively looked down upon.

“It was the island of misfit toys to a large degree. Everyone who didn't work out on another project got sent onto Shrek.” - director Andrew Adamson

If you’ve ever heard the phrase “getting Shreked,” odds are that you’re hearing the phrase that got its origin by the employees during the making of Shrek. As outrageous as it sounds, working on Shrek actually served as a sort of punishment at Dreamworks Animation, sending those who flopped on Prince of Egypt to the “dungeons” to work on Shrek, even coming to be known by employees as the Gulag. Those who worked on Shrek were placed in the overflow warehouse complexes as opposed to the fancy studios; the film was notably looked at as the ugly step-sister, the unwanted thing.

This leads to a larger conversation of low culture vs. high culture. Shrek was undoubtedly viewed as one of the lowest pieces of culture there could be, both during the process of its creation as well as after its release, regardless of its commercial success. But why is this? Yes, it’s an animation aimed at an audience of children, but there are so many pieces of animated content intended for young audiences that receive nothing but high praise. It’s worth noting that at the time of its making, Shrek, a comedic and satirical take on fairytales that showcases conventionally unattractive ogres as main characters, was viewed as so much less than Prince of Egypt, an animated children’s film that told the biblical story of the Book of Exodus. Despite being created by the same studio, targeting an audience of primarily children, and both showcasing powerful themes, Prince of Egypt was viewed as a piece of high culture while Shrek was deemed low. Regardless of Shrek’s promotion of themes of love, self-acceptance, personal identity, true friendship, and even elements of feminism, the comedy was written off as the afterthought when compared to the more serious story which originated from religious texts.

While Shrek is now loved by the masses, it is still looked down upon by many. An article written by The Guardian for the film’s 20th anniversary is just one example of this, as the author so hostilely writes:

“It’s worth pointing out how comprehensively bad its legacy remains, opening up the floodgates for other major studios to pile celebrities into recording booths, feed them committee-polished one-liners and put those lines in the mouths of sassy CGI animals or human-ish residents of the uncanny valley. Worse yet, it encouraged a destructive, know-it-all attitude toward the classics that made any earnest engagement with them seem like a waste of time. Those once-upon-a-times were now rendered stodgy and lame, literally toilet paper.”

Yes, Shrek is a cheeky, at times crude, animated comedy, but it is still a fairy tale in its own way. The story merely takes a humorous spin on traditional classic fairy tales that everyone is familiar with – its differences don’t diminish the actual fairy tales that people know and love. Perhaps the fact that Shrek’s portrayal of a classic fairy tale stems from more modern Americanized individualistic take is part of its lack of appeal to traditionalists (God knows anything American-centric is automatically knocked down to low culture peg, but that is a much longer discussion). It’s time to examine why society instinctively looks down upon things involving aspects of unappealing outsiders and humorous content.

#full blog #story #shrek

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broomswept-thoughts · 1 year

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Feeling really stressed, kinda hungry, don’t know what to do... Kinda want chips. Maybe I’ll eat olives? Feeling stressed, stomach hurty. Feeling really stressed actually about the Vandebilt interview, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Ugh, stomach hurty. Stomach hurty. I’m really anxious about the interview, like I loved talking with Raymond about his experiences at the school, it sounds like such a great and awesome school and I get the Good Vibes from it (to be fair, I’ve always felt good vibes from Vanderbilt since I went to the very first informational session two years ago. Actually three years ago, when I got rejected from their summer MSTP program). I really love the mentorship aspect, and how the classes seem to be so focused on ensuring that everyone gets a quality education without shreking them overtime with stress that can be prevented. I really like how genuine and supportive the school and curriculum and admin and just people in general seem, and it feels just like Vassar in that sense. Like yes, Vassar has its faults, but the feeling that people genuinely care (even if they might be disconnected, etc.) and that people are there to learn because they’re interested in learning, is something that I really admire a lot.

But while I’m super happy that Vanderbilt seems like a school that would be a good fit for me and my personality, I’m now at this stage of “oh shit, better not fuck it up! I’m getting expectations, so I better not fuck it up!!!” feeling. Like I really want to get in now, more than I felt about Emory at least, and maybe Mount Sinai. I mean, it’s not like I have interview invites from any other schools (which is also, in itself, something that makes me want to freak out and lose my shit entirely but), but also I just really love how it’s like a Super Pass Fail school too. Like clinicals being P/F? That’s kinda amazing AF, like I love that. The only school right now that I would really consider (within the schools that I applied that are around the Vanderbilt calibre or lower) that I would go to even if clinicals weren’t P/F (which is basically everywhere) and if preclinicals were graded too, would be UCLA just because the research is exactly what I want, the location is great, and it has a lot of clinical opportunities in the nearby vicinity that I’m very intrigued by. Damn, what a decision if I had the chance to choose between these two schools. But for now? Really not an option in mind. And this is also why second look day is a thing too. Anywhooo.

I guess a part of why I’m also very very excited/ anxious about getting in is the possibility of being able to quit this job early. I really hate being in this lab so much. I feel sick with the idea of staying here for longer than I have to; I gave myself May at latest, but if I, by some actual miracle, got into Vanderbilt’s MSTP program, then I would genuinely consider leaving in March (to give myself 3 more months of a break and go to Japan for an extended period of time). Of course, the biggest caveat would be the stupid lease, but I would try to probably negotiate to leave or at least paying a lower amount. And worst case scenario, I would have to just pay the full price, which would be ass but I would take that into account in considering how much to save I guess. And I guess I would save like a manic lol, but also I have money saved that I just never used for med school apps. So there’s that, at least, which would cover maybe 2 months of rent? I just really really really hate this job with a burning passion, so if I can leave earlier, I’ll be happier. And I would love to be accepted as soon as possible, and get out. I just can’t, I really want to leave pretty badly, I’m so done with this work environment.

But anywho, that’s the best best best case scenario. Leaving this lab in March after being accepted in December? Literally a godsend, I would faint from relief. And I would be able to withdraw my application from at least several schools too, which would feel reaaaal nice. Only several though, like I would keep the ones that I want to stay around for location reasons, at least (like UMass and Rochester probably). But I would def take out UCinncinati and UAB... yep. And anyway, this is the best case scenario. More likely that I would either get an acceptance late (February, maybe even off of a waitlist in April or May) or just straight rejected too. So there’s that.

I mean, in the beautiful world where I am presuming I would be accepted somewhere, the worst case scenario would be getting in somewhere in June and starting somewhere right away. So the worst case scenario would still involve me being in lab but leaving before August probably. I would hate that, because it would mean I wouldn’t be able to go back to Japan? But I would still leave lab before August, thankfully. Which, in any case, would be less than a year. So thank fuck for that.

But anyway, I’m in general just kinda stressed for the interview in the sense that, I really, really, really want to get into Vanderbilt. I could totally see myself being there, and also being happy as a medical and MSTP student there too. It feels like a good fit, and it makes me scared af to think of being absolutely devastated if I don’t get in. Like whew, that would be some major disappointment times. But I guess if that happens, then I’ll just eat yummy food, cry, and then rinse and go back to work lol. Maybe I’ll have another interview or something by that point too, idk. It’s just a weird, stressful time to have no other interviews and truly living life on the edge in a way that I simply do not want lol. It makes me extremely nervous and afraid of wtf is going to happen.

Gosh darn. I just want to be accepted and then get tf out. I’m so done with this place. I just feel anxiety and upset and frustration and trepidation and just bad feelings. I know this upcoming week won’t be as bad, but I’m still kind of really not okay with how I’m living my life as it is now. Sigh...

Anywho, no one from this lab has also been accepted into Vanderbilt so ig that may be a first. A few have gotten into UCSF though, so that’s kinda wild ngl. But tbh, no one has really gone anywhere like the tippy top level places recently (which is fine, not to knock on the postbacs), but I wonder if it’s because mentoring has been straight trash as of late. Who knows. I want to succeed, I don’t care. But I know it’s because, not this lab, but the previous experiences I’ve had prior that will be helping me through because goddaaaaaamn I’m not even going to deal with this place longer than I have to or more closely that I have to. Jeez.

Anyway... my first order of business is to do the best that I can in the interview. Thankfully, it sounds like it’ll be more chill and just a conversation... So hopefully I can just be a chill person, be interested in what the other person has to say and just enjoy having someone who is also probably interested in me too! So we love that, semi-requited love time. I think that’ll be nice, honestly. I’ll brush up on the research that I wrote about, my why medicine and why MD/PhD essays, and make an outline of what I’ll say for the biggest questions (which are those plus why Vanderbilt). When I have those down and done, I think the rest will be more relaxed and just an interesting conversation to have. I feel like I’ve been trained by conversations from Trevor as well as with Tammy and Quey on just wack and deep conversations, so I think if I’m relaxed and don’t overthink it, it’ll be more fun than horrible, judgement time. I think it can and should be more interesting, because I’ll finally be able to understand the school in a way that I can’t get from constantly scouring reddit and r/premed and sdn. So it’ll be really valuable and good info that I can glean too.

I don’t think it’ll be bad, it’s just always scary before the interview/ presentation/ performance. But I’m genuinely excited for the interview and learning more about Vanderbilt. I’m really, really excited, honestly, and I think that the excitement and anxiety are kinda glomping together into one so that makes it slightly unpleasant? But also I want to keep the good vibes and expectations for at least an interesting first interview going forward.

Worst case scenario, the interview is an absolute disaster, I can’t talk, the interviewers’ expressions are :/ or like :( or >:( (idk how tf but still), and I get rejected right away in December. It is what it is, I’ll wait around for other interviews if I may get any, and continue doing what I’ve been doing for the past year plus and just tolerating my workplace. I can also look into other jobs (!) that will excite me and bring me some peace in comparison to this hellscape. Always good and nice to look forward to the end of my time here with the added bonus of having money. I might not be insured for a few months, but I’ll make the most of the insurance that I *do* have and so that’s why I’ll stay until January at the very earliest (and honestly for a bit longer just to get my finances in check and collect my sweet sweet stipend moneys). February would be the absolute earliest I would/ could leave, I think, since I currently have enough for just 2 months worth of rent in my med school savings for apps. This will also be a very happy problem to have too lol. And also I need to be in the country at least long enough to attend 2nd visit day (or I guess the 1st visit day bc no interviews in person lol). So on the off chance that I only get into Vanderbilt, then I would really like to still visit Nashville and check out the area. I’d have no other options lol, but it would still be very important for me to go. And hopefully it would be in March, and that’s why the actual realistically earliest time I would leave lab/ for Japan is in March I think. Which would give me maybe 2.5 months to be in Japan. Which isn’t that bad, I could actually celebrate my birthday in Japan and be there in the spring for the first time in my living memory. Wow, that would be so beautiful, I would love to do that. I’ve never actually celebrated my birthday in Japan before, I. Yes, that would be so lovely, I would love that so so so much. Anywho, that’s the dream, to get into a place, be able to finish viewing the school, and be in Japan by April. That would be the serious dream. And then maybe be in Japan for as long as I possibly can before I have to pack up and move to wherever (Nashville, if I’m going there) in maybe the 1st or 2nd week of June. Speedrun through seeing my friends, preparing to move, all that jazz, potentially sneak in a visit to New York, and then jumping off to who knows where. And then starting my lifetime journey of a MD/PhD in June. Holyyyy shitaki.

Now, this is basically my dream plan on the off chance that I get in (and only get in) to Vanderbilt, which I seriously woul dhave 10000000% no problem with at all. If I got into another school or whatnot, then. This would be very different. For example, if said school started in August or did XYZ, whatever, then it would be different. Of course, not something I can control or predict, even less than with Vanderbilt. But also just another potential wrench into this plan. But I would love love LOVE to go back to Japan in the spring, that would be an absolute dream. I want to celebrate my birthday with oomama, I would want that so much. And I would want to see the cherry blossoms in Japan. I think I’d cry. I would want that so much.

Maybe even if a different school had 2nd look day or whatever in April, I would choose to miss it if I’m in Japan. Like this opportunity to be there is just too precious to me, unless it was like to Harvard or UCLA or something, i would just say yolo, I’m either A) not going and/or b) def doing it remote, please and thanks. Honestly, if I get into Vanderbilt, a lot lot LOT of things would feel easier and I can just chillax. But yeah, that’s kind of a big ask lol. Because I’m asking to get accepted ASAP and set up my life ASAP too. I can dream lol.

But yeah, I mean. If I can go back to Japan even in May, then that would be lovely. Maybe if I get rejected from Vanderbilt but accepted to a place that starts in August, I could leave in May like I had planned anyway. It would still be earlier than when I started, yes, but I’m not going to care much at that point because I have my reasons and they’re valid and this job isn’t a contracted position for 2 years. I have done ENOUGH. They’ll manage or figure something out, and I shall very leave lol.

I just want to 1. get into a MD/PhD program and 2. take time off to not be hell-bent on applications and being stressed and pressured and strained to the max by this lab that can’t manage itself. And ideally 3. go back to Japan. These are what I’m looking for! And I want to get into Vanderbilt so much. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be and if not, then that’s that. I can’t predict if I’ll be accepted in the first wave or even at all, but it sure would be nice... Sigh. I just feel the sinking preemptive feeling of a waitlist, or a rejection. I’m just so used to having seen those for undergrad, and I’m kinda scared of that sadness and disappointment. But no one will know anything until the very end, at least. Maybe I’ll just be waitlisted in December, I can take that. Or rejected, which will be sad but maybe it’ll mean that something else will come up, or I’m meant to focus more on my work or clinical volunteering or whatnot, or just not concern myself with Vanderbilt anymore. It will be okay. Things and life will continue to happen, even if they are very not what I have planned or have originally wanted, and it shall all be okay. And worrying about that now won’t help me at all either. When I should be going to sleep now anyway.

What else is on my mind? I just want to go to Vanderbilt a lot, it’s sky-rocketed to be one of my top choices, especially now that I’ve gotten an interview and it feels more real. I’m anticipating for next Thursday (aaa it’s next Thursday). I want to read up on more of the time restricted feeding paper and just study more papers and stuff so I will be in absolute tip top shape intellectually. :) And maybe some podcasts! That’d be pretty awesome. I want to be SUBMERGED in science this Halloween lmfao. And practice a bit more, record myself and get around to actually doing that, and just make sure I know enough that I can say and be exactly who I want to portray myself, which is someone who is kind, thoughtful, reflective, and also just a dumb nerd who likes learning about science and about people’s stories very much! These are what make me me, and what I feel happiest about my personality and who I am. These are traits that I’m proud of, and even if I’m not the most unique or special person to exist, I think I’m someone that can help make the world a better place, and I think the resources and communities at Vanderbilt can really help me to achieve that and find insights that will nuance and broaden what I can do to help people through human connection and medicine. Ayyooo that’s a pretty solid sentence lmfao. But it’s also how I genuinely feel. And I want to go through with that, because I feel this strongly and I want them to know who I am, and why I would be good for their school and also for the other students, current and future ones, at Vanderbilt too. It sounds rich to say that I can make people or schools *better* through my own sheer existence, but I think I can definitely bring up reflections, points, and personality that can influence people to think in different ways too. And the same for myself. So anywho, tldr, I’m excited for my interview, and there are some things I want to brush up on as well as just immerse myself in, but hopefully this chill week will give me the time to prep for that in the way that will satisfy me. And I think it will go okay, if not well. :) I hope also my passion for astrocytes can make an appearance; I hope one of the faculty people they choose will be someone who does astrocyte stuff, that would make me so happy haha.

#reflection

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