#so hell yeah go pineapple

[skeletalheartattack]

what sodas would boe like?

oh hm!!! i haven't thought about this before!! well i mean ive imagined him sitting at a bar somewhere alone and just drinking, and the liquid spilling down his mouth with every sip and just. getting his pants wet but... lets pretend skeletons can drink fluids for fun, and don't have to suffer the pee pants look :)

as much as I'd like to think me and him would share the same tastes... maybe he'd like root beer? Boe'd be a certified mug moment kinda guy i think. not like he'd understand what that even means, but still.

#ask #systemhomebase #honestly id love to say hed like fruity drinks like fanta and crush but... #idk! hard to say honestly #Boes just me but also not me so its hard to figure out where hes not me #but. i like the thought of his tastes differing from mine a little #if i had to imagine one drink Boe hates though...? i imagine it could be coca cola #hard to say really :) #idk what his thoughts would be on pepsi though #i imagine hell/limbo has a lot of custom brands that has stuff hed like that i wouldnt #maybe they have some pineapple flavoured sodas down there that he likes. not that id know what that tastes like but yeah #i kinda go back and forth on if he drinks alcohol. i dont and dont plan to but its just a thought #lets also pretend that the ''energy'' that animates him can intake liquids too. (i say energy in relation to his eyes) #so like. hes not leaving any restaraunts looking like he pee pee pissed himself. okay? #he def drinks milk though. idk what produces milk in hell/limbo but he likes the stuff #he doesnt have organs so he cant become lactose intolerant #thank you for the ask!!!! #sorry if my answer (or tags) are all over the place!!!

[thesapphictimelady]

Ad Astra Per Aspera

Word Count: 2.6K

TW: Implied previous domestic abuse, references to alcohol

A/N: Been working on this for like 2 months lol. Not proofread at all, but I had fun with it. Comments are appreciated :) Hope you enjoy!

“Hi, I’m looking for principal Coleman?”

The red head leaning against the desk turned, “Yeah, she’s not here today.”

“That can’t be right. I’m supposed to be meeting with her today. It is Thursday, right? I know my head isn’t always screwed on right but I was sure it’s Thursday.”

“Yeah, it is. Wait, are you the one with the dumb name?”

“E-excuse me?”

The red head tossed her hair, “Ava told me there was someone coming in with a stupid name and I should welcome her and “show her the ropes” and that she’d be helping in my classroom.”

“My name’s Cassiopeia,” she said, shuffling her things around to shake the older woman’s hand.

The older woman scoffed, ignoring her hand, “The hell kind of name is that? Nah, I’m calling you Cassie. And that’s how you should introduce yourself. The kids’ll end up calling you Pee or something. Come on, I’ll take you to the break room.”

“I don’t think I caught your name,” Cassie said, trying to keep up with her long strides.

“Yeah, that’s cause I didn’t give it to ya,” she swung open the door to the break room, “I found fresh meat looking for Ava,”

“Melissa Ann Schemmenti, you know we don’t speak about our colleagues like that!”

Melissa shrugged and took a seat next to the other teacher, “Sorry Barb, just callin’ it like I see it,”

Barb swatted Melissa’s arm and turned to face Cassiopeia, “It’s nice to meet you dear, I’m Barbara Howard, I teach Kindergarten”

“My name’s Cassiopeia. It’s nice to meet you.”

Melissa groaned and pointed at the young woman, “Didn’t I say to introduce yourself as Cassie? I wasn’t kiddin’.”

“Jacob Hill!” another teacher blurted from by the fridge, “I’m Jacob Hill. I teach history. I like your name. Cassiopeia, She was the queen of Ethiopia according to Greek Mythology. Her daughter Andromeda was saved from a sea monster by the hero Perseus. Did you know-”

“Jacob that’s enough,” Barbara said, gesturing towards a chair for Cassiopeia, “I’m sure she knows the history of her own name.”

Cassie sat and smiled gratefully at Barbara before she reached into her bag to retrieve her notebook and a pair of earbuds, deciding it was best to just sit quietly until the kids arrived.

“Pineapple absolutely goes on pizza,” Jacob said, picking up the conversation they had been having before her arrival.

“Not this again,” Melissa groaned, “It does not go on pizza!”

“It does! It’s been put on pizza since 1962! Contrary to the term that’s frequently used, it actually isn’t from Hawaii though. It was created in Ontario, Canada. The man who made it was actually Greek and-“

“Hey, new kid,” Melissa interrupted, “What kind of pizza do you like”

“I actually haven’t had pizza in a long time,” Cassie said, pulling her earbuds out.

“Oh don’t tell me you don’t like pizza!”

“No, I do! My…my ex used to make homemade pizza for date night. She was not a good person. Which is why I’m here. Miles away from anyone I know.” Cassie shifted and tugged at her sleeves, making sure the yellowing bruises from the night she had left were still covered.

The room stayed quiet for a few minutes before Barbara finally said, “Well now you know us!”

“Yeah,” Melissa said, her emerald eyes trained on Cassie, “You know us. And based on what Ava told me, you’re in my room for now,” she glanced down at her watch, “So grab a cup of coffee and let’s head over there now so ya know where stuff is. We’ll see youse at lunch.”

Melissa patted Barbs hand as she stood and grabbed her coffee mug, holding the door open for Cassie.

“Good luck, Cassiopeia!” Jacob called

Cassie waved at the other teachers, hastily gathering her things and following the redhead out the door.

“So you don’t got anybody out here?” Melissa asked as she flipped the classroom light on.

“No ma’am. I don’t know anyone here.”

“Why Philly? I mean, other than the obvious.”

Cassiopeia laughed softly, setting her things down on a desk, “I saw a job posting for Abbott and just…packed up my life and came here. I needed a change.”

Melissa nodded slowly, setting her mug down and looking the new teacher up and down, “Well listen kid, we got recess duty this week. I don’t know where you’re from but it gets hot. You might wanna reevaluate that grandma sweater.”

Cassie flushed and tugged the sleeves down over her hands, “Thanks but I’ll be fine.”

Melissa hummed thoughtfully before shrugging, “Suit yourself. You can put your stuff back here. How do you feel about science?”

The morning went smoothly and before she knew it, she and Melissa were standing outside watching the kids recess. The older woman had abandoned her leather jacket in her classroom and tied her hair up in a ponytail.

“Aren’t you hot?” Melissa asked, fanning herself with one hand.

“I’m fine,” Cassiopeia lied, pulling her hair off her neck in an effort to cool down.

“At least let me cuff your sleeves!” Melissa said, reaching for Cassie.

“No! No, I’m fine.”

“Kid, it’s a million degrees and you’re wearing a Mr. Rogers sweater!”

“I’m fine,” Cassie insisted.

Melissa sighed, before turning back to the kids “5 more minutes my little eagles! Ms. Schemmenti is too hot so we’re going to go inside.”

“Yes Ms. Schemmenti!” the kids called back to her.

“They really like you,” Cassie said.

“Yeah, well, the older ones had me when they were in second grade so they know the drill. We’ll take them to the gym and then head to the break room for lunch. By the way, you can eat the school lunch, but I do NOT recommend doing that.”

Cassiopeia laughed, “Thanks for the heads up, but I don’t usually eat lunch”

“Whadya mean you don’t eat lunch. You gotta eat”

“I eat breakfast and dinner! I’m just never hungry at lunch”

Melissa shook her head, “You can have something from my lunch”

Cassie opened her mouth to argue but the redhead was quick to cut her off, “It’s not up for debate kid. Alright my little eagles it’s time to line up!”

All the kids came running over to the door, lining up single file to follow Melissa inside and to the gym. Cassie stayed at the back of the line, closing the door behind them. Once the kids were inside the gym with the other recess duty teachers, Melissa dragged Cassie to the break room.

“Cassiopeia! You’re still here!” Jacob cheered.

“Where else would I be?” Cassie laughed.

“Melissa has a habit of running people off,” Mrs. Howard said, smiling fondly at the redhead who had sat down next to her.

“I do not!” Melissa said, pulling food out of her lunchbox, “Only the incompetent ones. New kid is smart.”

Cassie flushed and went to go perch on one of the windowsills but Melissa stopped her.

“Where do you think you’re goin? I told you it’s not up for debate.”

“Ms. Schemmenti, really, I’m fine!”

“Sit.” Melissa said sternly, grabbing a paper plate from the cabinet and putting some ziti on it.

“I wouldn’t try to argue dear,” Mrs. Howard warned when Cassie opened her mouth, “It’s better to just do what she tells you.”

Cassiopeia sighed and sat in the seat the older woman had indicated, taking the plate of ziti, “Thank you, Ms. Schemmenti.”

“Don’ worry about it kid.”

“So, Cassiopeia,” Barbara said, “How was your morning? Was Melissa nice to you?”

“Ms. Schemmenti was very kind to me. And the kids are wonderful! I don’t know how she manages to have such a well behaved class when she’s juggling two different grades!”

“The kids know better than to mess with me,” the redhead said, glancing up from her phone.

Cassie smiled and took a bite of the ziti, “Holy shit this is amazing!”

“It’s my nana’s recipe,” Melissa said, “She used to…” She trailed off, brow furrowed, “Did youse hear that?”

The room went silent as all the teachers listened to a timid knock at the door. Melissa jumped up to open the door. One of the older girls was standing on the other side, sniffling.

“What’s wrong hon?” Melissa asked her, bending down slightly so she could whisper in the redheads ear, “Gotcha. Let’s go to my classroom, okay? Hey, new kid, I might need you and your huge bag. Follow us.”

Cassiopeia grabbed her purse and was quick to catch up with them.

“What’s going on?” she asked once inside the classroom.

The younger girl looked nervously at Melissa.

“It’s okay hon, Miss Cassie is gonna be more help than me. She started her period. Nurse isn’t here and I don’t need the products anymore. Got anything in that bag of yours?”

“Oh! Oh of course, give me a second,” Cassie dug through her purse, producing pads and a small heating pack, “Do you need anything else? Tylenol?”

“I need new pants,” the student whispered.

“I’m afraid that’s the one thing I don’t carry with me,” Cassie said apologetically, “Is there somewhere we can get those?”

Melissa sighed, “Yeah, Ava’s office. But she has that place booby trapped since the last time I- actually I think that’s not important right now.” Melissa said, throwing a look towards the cameraman right outside the door who quickly ducked out of sight.

“That’s okay,” Cassie said, “What’s your name sweetheart?”

“Kya,”

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do Kya. We’re gonna tie my sweater around your waist to hide the stain and then Ms. Schemmenti is gonna give your mom a call to bring you some new pants, okay?”

“Okay,” Kya whispered.

“We can use Barb’s bathroom,” Melissa said, “She won’t mind.”

Cassie nodded and unbuttoned her sweater, folding it and gently tying it around Kya’s waist, “There. Now go with Ms. Schemmenti and she’ll get you taken care of.”

Kya took the pads out of her hand and followed Melissa out of the room. Cassie busied herself putting things back into her bag, completely missing the look the other teacher had given her. A breeze came through the open window and she shivered, rubbing at her arms before she froze.

“Fuck,” she whispered, “Please tell me I have a back up sweater somewhere in my bag!”

Cassie turned her bag over on the desk, searching the contents for something, anything she could use to keep the bruises on her arms covered.

“So, new kid,”

Cassie jumped, whirling around to see Melissa leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed.

“Hi, Ms. Schemmenti! I-I didn’t hear you coming!” Cassie quickly tucked her arms behind her.

“Uh huh.” Melissa said, walking into the classroom, “Thanks for your help with Kya. You sure were protective of that sweater all morning but you didn’t hesitate to give it to her.”

“I remember middle school. She didn’t need anyone teasing her for the stain”

Melissa nodded thoughtfully, “Whatcha got behind your back?”

“Nothing!”

“So if I walked behind you, there wouldn’t be anything to see?”

“No, there’s nothing back there!”

“And there’s nothing, say, on your wrists?”

“No ma’am.”

“Well then I’m sure you have no issue going back to the break room with me.”

“Actually I think I’ll stay here and…start grading the science tests!”

The redhead frowned and shook her head, “What’re you hiding kid. Just show me. You’ve been hiding something all day.”

Cassiopeia swallowed the lump in her throat and brought her arms back to the front, looking anywhere but Melissa’s face.

“Kid,” the older teacher whispered.

“I don’t want your pity. That’s why I kept them covered. I’m completely fine.”

“Hon…”

Cassie looked up in surprise at the gentleness of the teachers words. Melissa’s emerald eyes were soft and she gently took Cassie’s arm in her hand.

“Hon, this isn’t nothing,”

“I don’t want anyone’s pity, Ms. Schemmenti. I’m going to go home. I don’t have a back up sweater and it’s bad enough that you’ve seen them.”

“What-?”

“What happened?” Cassie cut her off, not wanting to hear her ask, “My ex. I told you this morning she wasn’t a good person. She wasn’t too pleased with the news that I wanted to break up. Now please, let go,”

Melissa let go of Cassie’s arms, backing up so the teacher had space to grab her things, too stunned to stop her as she quickly left the classroom.

When Cassiopeia got home, she threw everything onto the couch before going to the small kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine and a plastic cup. This was supposed to be a new beginning and already she had someone pitying her.

“I knew I should’ve pushed off my start date,” she muttered to the small apartment as she filled her cup and collapsed on the couch. It didn’t take long after draining the bottle that she fell into a fitful sleep, using her bag as a pillow

It was her phone ringing that woke her. She glanced at the screen and was immediately filled with dread when she saw the “Unknown number” on the caller ID. Hesitantly she accepted the call, sitting in silence while she waited for the caller to speak.

“Hello? New kid? You there?”

“Ms. Schemmenti? How did you get my phone number?”

“I know a guy. Listen, what do you like on your pizza?”

“What? Ms. Schemmenti it’s…it’s 3 in the morning! Why are you calling?”

The line was quiet for a moment before the redhead sighed, “Listen, I’m real sorry for pushin’ you today. I shouldn’t have made you tell me what the bruises were from. Let me make you a pizza to make up for it.”

Cassiopeia laughed softly, “This is a dream. A weird, alcohol induced dream.”

“No it’s not. Kid you can either tell me or I’ll show up with something random.”

“Show up? Are you driving right now?”

“Yeah, I had a late night. Are you decent? I’m almost at your place.”

“How do you know where I live??”

“Again, I know a guy. Are ya decent?”

“Yeah, I-I’m decent. Should I unlock the door or do you know a guy for that too?”

“Ha ha very funny kid.”

The call dropped, leaving Cassie alone in the dark again. She jumped up and started throwing things into the small closet, trying to make the tiny space look halfway decent, before giving up and instead throwing on an oversized sweater and unlocking the door.

Melissa had her arms completely full of grocery bags when she got to the door.

“Ms. Schemmenti what-”

Melissa pushed past her into the apartment, “I told ya, I had a long night. Where can I put this?”

Cassiopeia led her to the tiny kitchen, still not quite sure if she was awake or not. Melissa dropped her bags on the narrow counter and started pulling things out.

“Okay, what is going on? You don’t need to do all this, you apologized on the phone.”

“Trust me kid, that wasn’t enough. And your secret is safe with me. I told the others you were sick and I sent you home.”

“School starts in 4 hours.”

“Actually, the kids are off tomorrow so no one will care that you’re hungover and I haven’t slept. Trust me, Ava will be hungover as hell.”

Cassie sat down on one of the wobbly stools, “So you’re making me a pizza…as an apology?”

Melissa finally glanced over her shoulder at the younger woman, “Yeah, you got a problem with that?”

“No…I don’t think so.” Cassie put her head in her hands, “I think I’m too hungover for this,”

Melissa laughed and tossed her a bottle of aspirin, “Picked this up at the store. You probably need it more than I do”

Cassie took it gratefully, “Thank you, Ms. Schemmenti.”

“You’re welcome kid. Go lay down. I’ll take care of this and I’ll wake you when it’s time to head to school.”

#abbott elementary #lisa ann walter #melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x oc #abbott elementary fanfiction #melissa schemmenti x reader

[jellyluvr]

Desperate

- Warren lipka x virgin!fem!reader ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

I'm very aware of the basic title, but I couldn't think of anything else. Unless you want "very awesome title" then you'll have to deal with this. Also sorry if this might be bad it's kinda choppy idk

Warnings: smoking weed, lots of friends, public sex?? I don't know lol 🤧 car sex, and loss of virginity (obvi)

Summary: warren basically leads you into the woods and you go with him, him making the first move. (Then u go to the car)

(Divinelyruled's gif)

Warren swerved while driving, spencer and Chas laughing in the backseat. They were all pretty annoying, but it was their usual bullshit. Warren was wearing his stupid tropical button-up and his typical pants. You only hung out with all of them for Warren. Maybe for a little of spencer, but everyone else were absolute dipshits.

Once the car recovered from Warren's horrible driving, he spoke. Loud and proud.

"You guys wanna smoke?" Warren said, looking at you, a huge grin on his face. He was acting like a child. You really didn't know what to say, but there was no protest. Chas and spencer spoke up, both agreeing.

So, Warren pulled over in a rather sketchy parking lot before reaching in the backseat, grabbing some old textbook he had.

"Uhh, reach in the glove box, would ya, sweetie?"

You loved hated when he called you that. But, you still reached in the glove box. There were flavored wraps in there, a few boxes, actually. Bubblegum, pineapple, blueberry, and cotton candy. They were all for joints, them being 'juicy Jay's'

"Yea.. yeah.. that's the one. Here.." he took the blueberry one before setting everything on the armrest. What the hell was he doing?

"Where's the weed, man?" Warren said, pushing back his seat to lean on spencer. Chas just fumbled around for a moment before passing warren a bag, letting out a soft hm as a thank you.

"Warren what the fuck are you doing?" You didn't know what he was doing. You were really confused.. you had thought you'd just smoke cigarettes but joints? How did he even know how to make those..?

"Makin' you a treat, sweetheart. You'll loooovveee it..." he chuckled a little, his eyes shifting to you for a second. Then, he moved the textbook back on his lap, the bag of weed setting on it.

You were seriously scared. Your parents were strict assholes and this was really scary. You didn't even know how you managed to get out tonight. Your dad was like a hawk. A really fat and mean hawk.

"Warren, I can't smoke weed. My dad will know.." you spoke in a low tone, too focused on Warren's hands making the joint. You studied what he did. He got a little rectangle paper, folding it up and making a circle shape. You didn't know what that was, but you continued to watch. He carefully put the weed on the thin paper, spreading it out evenly while he tapped it slightly. Next, he put the small rectangular thing towards him on the paper, then rolling it up. Chas and spencer shouted and giggled in the back, but you paid no attention to them.

You were too fascinated with what he was doing to care. Then, the joint was done and he handed it to you, you holding it and just looking over to him with a face that read 'wtf dude?'. He laughed at you, grabbing a lighter. "It's like a cigarette. Kind of.. just put it in your mouth please." He smiled warmly, giggling a little. It made you suspect he was fucking with you, but you put the filter part in your mouth, letting him light it.

You took a puff in, immediately pulling the joint out of your mouth as you coughed. Chas and spencer laughed even more, the two of them drinking and up to their own stupid shit..

Warren held back his laughing, taking the joint from you and taking a puff expertly, a smile on his face. He admired how innocent and pure you were. And how cute.. but he'd never admit that. He started to drive again, moving his seat back up as he drove out to where smoke came out of the woods. You assumed this was a bomb fire, so you just sighed.

That sigh would've been nice if it wasn't for the horrible smell in the car. You coughed some more, Warren finally rolling down his window for the smoke to escape desperately. You turned the other way, burying your head in your arms as you closed your eyes, the comfort of your jacket over you. You hated this. You just wanted to spend time with Warren.. watch a movie maybe. But not go out and party.

It was too late to turn back when you smelt the actual familiar smoke.. and heard the screams and yells of teenagers downing beer. You dreaded this.. why couldn't you and Warren go make out or something? Whyd this have to be in motion???

Warren got out, spencer and Chas following as the laughed seeing other friends from college. I guess some weren't teens.. more of unmature adults. You groaned, getting out of the car as well in your little skirt and top. It had originally been for warren.. to impress him in some way but you weren't even sure if he liked it. Of course you hoped so.. but he was an unpredictable guy. An asshole really.

You began to walk to warren and his friends, them all fucking around and freaking out. You didn't know a few people, but they eventually led you all to the bomb fire. Clinks of beer were heard every few seconds, crackles from the fire too. You didn't understand why they even had a fire. It was like 90.. mosquitoes were sucking off of you like vampire's every 5 seconds. The fire really provided no protection to the bugs, but it did look kind of cool.

Warren talked with everyone, them sharing cigarettes and other things. Showing stuff on their small little phones and laughing.. talking about 'bitches'. But now that you thought about it you were just about the only woman there. There was 3 or 4 others, but most of the people were guys. Disgusting men.. they all looked the same. Same hair, same nose.. same outfit.. you were positive men felt the same way about you, but you didn't care.

The only man that meant anything to you was warren. Your beloved warren. You daydreamed about him while you stared.. taking in his brown eyes and cute dimples. The single mole on his nose.. the perfect shape of it. His wonderful hands.. you wondered if his dick looked the same. Veiny and girthy.. maybe you would draw it later that night. Definitely..

A sigh left your mouth as you started to walk back to the car, hoping warren would come over and encourage you to talk to others just like in the movies.. but he didn't. He didn't even acknowledge you walking over there, so you went in with no air conditioning while you looked around. There was nothing much.. just weed scraps and other various items related to weed. At least you thought.

You looked around the car still, checking the glove box in hopes for something cool but it was just a pocket knife and.. panties?! Why did warren have panties?? Why did they have hello kitty on them.. what the hell?! He didn't have a girlfriend did he? Thoughts flooded your head as you stared at the thing infront of you, your hand not daring to touch them.

What if he had a girlfriend?? Oh god.. that was horrible. You couldn't be some homewrecker. Or a slut.. or just a bitch. It was girl code. But, you were really thinking about if he had fucked another girl. Why did he have the right to do that? He should've been fucking you instead. Using you as he pleased, but he wasn't. He was talking with his stupid "bros".

"Fuck!" You screamed, your hands going to claw at your face. You were so frustrated. Why would he have panties out of all things? Maybe lipgloss would've been better or even a nail, but panties!? Who leaves their panties in their boyfriends car??

Friends with benefits maybe? But still who would do that? He didn't get any girls.. he was considered ugly by everyone else. To you, he was the most beautiful being on this earth. The most hottest—

"What are you doing, man?" Warren knocked on the car window, looking down at you as he saw you going through his glove box. He was obviously worried. That was kind of weird to do.. especially without his permission.

You jumped, your head turning up to warren as you opened your mouth to speak, nothing coming out. Warren opened the car door, it being an obvious gesture for you to get out. You did, and he seemed to know what you saw.

"It was a gift to hang up. Uhm.. Chas got me 'em." He said, leaning back into the car and closing the box before shutting the door, coming out and facing you. "You okay?" He asked, laughing lightly. You stood there, relieved and extremely excited. "Yeah.. I'm good." You smiled, feeling sparks go off in your body. He was single.. hopefully. At least they weren't some girl's panties. That would've been horrible.

Warren's friends realized he had disappeared, so they began to look for him obviously. It wasnt hard, you were just a little long away from them so they called him over, ultimately taking you with him. They laughed and had their fun, and sent Warren out to go do something. You hadn't been paying attention, all you cared about was his face really. And his personality of course.

Warren began to walk out into the dark of the woods, taking no specific path. You were obviously quite worried. Where was he planning on going anyway? No even seemed to care about him leaving.. so naturally you began to follow.

You tried to catch up pretty quickly, making sure to watch your step. That meant you had been looking down at your feet the whole time, so you never looked up to see where Warren was. When you did, he was gone. No where it seemed, and you looked behind you only to find you had ran into the woods... lost.

You cussed to yourself, looking all around you as you realized how dark and scary it was. Now you'd have to call out his name. Or anyone's.. or just scream.

Your breathing quickened as you tried to calm down, your body not helping anything. You turned to the path you were originally taking and ran down it instead. And finally.. you saw Warren's stupid tropical button up and his hair. It was sort of hard to miss, so you ran down, panting as you got behind warren. Warren turned around, jumping a little but now just confused.

"Y/n, what the fuck, man?" He asked, looking down at you with confusion. You stood up and straightened yourself, looking him directly in the eye. "I was uhm.." then, you felt that foul smell hit your nose just like in the car. He had a joint, it smoking up with a little red bud at the end. "I was worried about you." You repeated, smiling slightly. Warren just laughed lightly, sitting down on a huge rock while he smoked.

" 'kay." He nodded, and you just watched him. Warren looked up, the beauty of the midnight sky above. It was a wonderful color, stars littered over it perfectly thanks to being out so far away from the city. Warren looked over to you, laughing again. "Here, have some." He wiggled his eyebrows, pushing out the joint for you to have.

You didn't want to be lame, so you took it and actually took a puff this time. You coughed some, but not as much as before. The effects immediately hit you, and Warren realized this. He laughed some more too, you just laughing with him because his laugh was simply so funny.

You sat on the rock, very close to him as you two giggled. It wasn't controllable really.. it kind of just came out. And you closed your eyes, laughing as you smiled. Warren laughed too, his hand going to set on your thigh. You just kept laughing, until Warren said something.

"Y/n.. y/n, dude calm down." He chuckled lightly, but then he stopped. You stopped too, you two now just looking into each other. Warren didn't say anything more, and you didn't really want to either.

Then, his lips connected with yours with no warning at all. You kissed him back, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around him as his hands rubbed your thighs. Warren slurped at your mouth almost, making you melt under him. You two were both high, and it just made everything better. The kiss was hot and desperate.. really for the both of you. Warren loved you.. he especially loved your body, but your everlasting love for him always seemed to catch his eye.

You moaned slightly into his lips, his hands going up onto your hips as lewd noises filled the area. Your eyes rolled back at Warren's strong grip on you, forcing you to stay seated. Warren pulled back, panting and cussing under his breath. He put a hand through his hair, giving you the opportunity to get on top of him.

You moved your body to be positioned on his lap, your thighs straddling his hips as you cupped his face, the sexual tension thick. You moved in to kiss him, and he kissed you back as you grinded into him. The slick between your thighs built up as your clit ached for any pleasure. You grinded a little faster, squeaking out a moan from warren as he continued to kiss you.

You two were combined in one, making out and really doing all you could. Warren stopped kissing you and frantically unbuttoned his pants while you unzipped them, not really sure what to do. You had fantasies.. sure.. but you had no idea how to fuck or suck dick. Warren leaned back against the rock, surely expecting you to do something.. but you didn't know what. You were so worked up, but how could you tell him you were a virgin?

"Uhm.." you choked out, looking at his boxers peeking through his flap. You were nervous. You were getting sweaty.. very.. you were afraid. Your head felt heavy and your eyes got foggy. This was so embarrassing. Warren looked up at you, clearly a bit confused. "You o-" you cut him off, "I'm a virgin, warren." You let it out even though it crushed you. You knew he wouldn't be okay with that.. that would just make it weird. Fuck.

"Oh." He leaned up, looking down at his bulge and sighing. He put his hands on your shoulders, looking you straight in the eyes. "Well.. uh.. am I good enough for your first time?" He laughed awkwardly, feeling like he had just led on a kid. It felt weird. He didn't think you were a virgin.. he thought you were a huge chick. Like, you definitely got dick every weekend.. but no. You didn't, which was really confusing.

But as for the question, you nodded. "Yes.. don't think I don't want to.. it's just.. I'm not ruining anything, am i?" You looked up at him, clearly nervous. He felt bad now. But, his boner wasn't going away and he knew that weed had fucked you up. "No. I'll give you a time to remember, sweetheart." He kissed your nose, his hands going to your waist as he swiftly moved ontop of you instead, moving you on the rock.

He began to kiss down your neck, making you squirm a bit. A breathy moan slipped from your lips, your wetness growing. You smelt Warren's hair, the scent filling your nostrils as you sighed, your heartbeat picking up. You had dreamed of this.. and it was actually happening.

A small gasp left your mouth as you felt Warren's hard on press against your thigh. He grinded into you, making you so much hotter than before. It felt you were in an oven.. like you were sun bathing. It was crazy.. and Warren's mouth moved up to your jaw, kissing and sucking before he moved his mouth over your ear. You felt shivers go throughout your body, more coming as his breath hit you right on your neck.

"You play with yourself?" He asked, his hair tickling your cheek. You didn't want to lie. You didn't touch yourself. You never had.. it scared you honestly, and Warren turned his head up, his hand going inside your skirt and creeping up your thighs excruciatingly.

"N-no." You said finally, Warren's fingertip grazing over your clothed slit. He wasn't going to hurt you.. he had to prepare you for him even if he was going to collapse from how hard he was. He didn't have a big ego, or dick really. But, one thing he did know was virgins bled. If they didn't have proper preparation.. or at least that's what some porn skit said. Either way, he was going to make sure it was more pleasurable then painful.

Your breath hitched as one hot finger went beside your panties, moving into your drenched pussy. He smiled feeling how wet you were, and his single finger lined your hole. "You like that?" He asked, knowing the answer. He chuckled lightly, inserting a finger inside your walls, causing you to squirm some. Jesus.. you definitely were a virgin. Your walls hugged him tight, and it even made his dick twitch a little.

He moved his finger inside you slowly, letting you get used to the feeling. You loved it though. Yours hips moved into his finger involuntarily as you moaned slightly, Warren's finger going slightly faster. But, this was one finger. Two would surely hurt.. his dick would hurt more. Maybe he should save it for another time.. maybe you two should've been more than just friends. Or friends with benefits.

So, he took his finger out, licking your arousal off before he began to touch himself. "You think you can take it?" He asked, looking at you with a warm, but desperate look. You had known about some sex things.. oral.. anal.. vaginal.. but that was it. But, if he touched you, maybe you needed to touch him too? Warren moved up on the rock some more, you moving up from your laying position as you looked down at his bulge. Your hand pulled down his pants some, then the boxers came next. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw his bush.. your hand getting so much closer to his cock.

You pulled down his boxers fully, his dick springing a little as a small sigh left Warren's lips. His head went back as he looked back down, almost like that had been too much. You felt the urge to apologize, but you didn't in order to keep the mood. You stared at his raging red tip for a moment, swallowing slightly as you drooled at the sight. Your body reacted fast. Your pussy began to clench around nothing, your clit making you feel light as you stared some more.

Your hand finally moved up to his dick, your small hand barely able to wrap around him. You hesitated for a moment, but you clenched your hand around him, straining a moan. His breathing quickened from the warmth of your hand and you felt your stomach churn from your need. The slick was building up so much more and you felt as if you could die. Regardless, your hand began to move up and down his length, a breath of air coming out of his mouth as he calmed himself down.

The stimulation was so much. So so much.. it made him squirm. The way your hand felt around him was unbelievable. Never in a million years would he think you'd feel so nice. Your soft hands touching him was so much better than his hand. His rough, large, veiny hand. He pulled up his shirt some, revealing his v line as his head shot back from the pleasure. Your hand went faster, little slick noises coming from his dick. You stared at it. You couldn't really not stare. It was hard for you to even focus with how.. beautiful it was. It wasn't gross or shaped weird.. it was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Warren smiled, looking down at your hand as you stared. His size grew in your hand.. it becoming sort of scary. You were sure it wouldn't fit. You were sure he would say "we should just be friends" in the end. You knew something like that would happen.

And the reason was ridiculous. You knew this was too good to be true. You'd wake up any moment.. You'd have to, but that moment never came. Never would either. And that thought began to register.

Warren kept looking at your hand, it going faster and faster. You looked up at him, sort of worried in a way, but he still had that smile as waved of pleasure shot through his body. He moaned, and you felt butterflies as you smiled some. Your eyes shifted back to his cock, the tip now leaking white. It wasn't much, but soon it began to drip down the side.. following one of the veins.

"Fuck.." Warren said under his breath, looking at his dick as his head shot back again. You kept your hand around him, but you didn't move it. You just looked before your hand went up in one swift movement and took the cum off, making Warren moan some. He twitched a little, some more cum seeping out, but he didn't care. He pulled you up, kissing you one last time before your session was interrupted.

"Yo! Warren?" One guy yelled, but you soon identified it to be Chas. You looked back, jumping off Warren as he did the same, pulling his pants up quickly. Chas was walking closer by the second, but Warren didn't want this to end. Never really, so he whispered 4 words that you'd remember for the rest of your life.

"Go to the car." He patted your back, adjusting his pants a little before walking up the path, meeting Chas as he looked at you. "What's she doing here?" He asked, pointing as he looked at Warren. He just shook his head, walking up the makeshift path as Chas followed. Warren's hand made a movement, sort of a wave, and you began to catch up as your head felt so much heavier now.

You felt like you were on top of the world. Like you were the coolest, and best person ever. The feeling of the man you loved since middle school saying meet at the car felt nice. Especially just giving him a handjob.. that was wonderful. Now, you could actually imagine something right before you went to sleep at night. Or just scenarios..

– few minutes later

You were sitting in the car, the seat sort of hot. Your thighs were very hot, so you assumed it was that. You didn't really do much. You just sat there while you occasionally looked up to see warren talking. But, the last time you looked he was gone. And instead, he was opening the door.

"They think we're getting beer." Warren said, starting the car before he began to back out of the space. You turned to him, only thinking about his dick. "They think? So what are we gonna do?" You knew exactly what you two were going to do, and Warren just turned his head to you, laughing slightly. "You know exactly what's gonna happen, don't even." He shut that down immediately and the scenery changed from trees and woods to sketchy roads. You stared at the road infront of you, leaning your arm on the car door as you watched.

Warren then pulled over, a spot in the woods but awfully close to the road. You turned to him, and he immediately crawled over the barrier between you two and began to kiss you deeply once more. You kissed back, Warren's hands traveling all over your body as whimpers and little moans escaped your mouth. Warren loved those noises you made.. Your wonderful noises. "Get in the back." Warren said in between a kiss, him settling back in his seat as he began to undo his button up and pants. He stripped in the front of the car, you moving in the back while you began to pull of your skirt.

It had been a nice day to wear your pink panties, but Warren loved them. He loved what was under them too.

Once the two of you were basically stripped the to skin, he crawled into the backseat with you, placing you down on the fabric as he began to kiss you once more. His hands kneaded your tits through your croptop, but they eventually slipped under it and had free roam. You moaned into his mouth, the kiss feeling hot and steamy as his thumbs played with your nipples. "Fuck.. You're so hot.." he mumbled, pulling from you and looking at your panties. He licked his lips, his body moving down a bit before he moved your legs up, folding you in half as he looked at the wet spot on your panties.

"Oh sweetheart.." he cooed, your body beginning to feel so much more hot than before. You were practically melting under him.. it was so much. And you just watched as he began to pull up your panties, revealing your hot slick. "Wait.." you said quickly, looking up at him as you began to feel worry on top of the arousal. "What if someone sees us?" You were starting to doubt this. Why didn't you two just go somewhere more secluded? Like an abandoned parking lot or something.. "then let them watch." He smiled, pulling your panties off completely before throwing them in the bottom of the car. He looked at your folds, his right hand going down to pump himself as he stared.

It was enough to make him cum, really. Your body was beautiful.. a masterpiece even. He thought he was so lucky to be fucking you, bur you thought the opposite. You were so obsessed with him. He was something you thought about every day.. every single day. He was the reason you dressed so nicely. The reason you took commitment into makeup.. the man you wanted to impress. And it seemed to work.

"You ready?" He asked, his dick moving up to be right on top of your folds. You nodded sheepishly, choking down some saliva as you felt your body grow much more nervous. You felt his tip align with your entrance, and finally push in. You gasped softly, feeling his tip push in more, eventually going much deeper and hitting your cervix. Your breath hitched as his size stretched you, warren biting down on his lip as he felt how tight you were. "Jesus, you're tight.. You're really tight.. fuck.." he began to move in and out of you slowly, each time making warren closer to his orgasm. You clenched around him, your body barely able to handle his size.

You were a virgin.. this was a lot. Literally. His dick was so big, and as he began to thrust into you, you felt your pussy feel so much wetter. Warren knew this, and he knew it was just a natural thing. Most virgins bled, but you just provided more slick for him to work with, which was wonderful. It made him easier to slip into you, so he used it to his advantage as he began to go faster.

You moaned some, Warren's hands clutching your knees to your chest as he went a little faster, his eyes going shut as he reveled in the pleasure. He cussed under his breath, your lewd noises growing so much louder as the skin of yours and his slammed into each other.

"Warren!" You screamed, your eyes rolling into your head as he went at an unbearable pace. Soon, the both of you were cussing to yourselves as your orgasms came much closer, and finally the both of you came. Warren was quick to pull out, his cum spraying all over your stomach as you both panted, taking in the sight. Warren twitched some again, his hot cum feeling like a trophy. The view was great. You couldn't lie.

Seeing his dick slowly become softer made butterflies appear in your stomach, and you just sighed. Your head going back as you closed your eyes. Warren collapsed on top of you, sighing as well.

"We should probably go get that beer now."

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

This took so long omg. Yall better like this or I'm gonna die and shrivel up

But ty for reading!! Still not sure what the word count is but I'm hoping it's more than 2k.

Taglist: @kaismanwich @tatelangdonsgirll @daylas-life @hyperharlz @kaiju-superstar @howtobesasha @luttic

#evan peters #evan peters characters #evan peters fanfic #evan peters smut #evan peters x y/n #evan peters x reader #evan peters x female reader #warren lipka x reader #warren lipka #warren lipka x you

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Hood Nigga Deluxe

Fontaine × Black Reader

Supposed to be one part but I'll split it for the sake of posting something. 💕

Part 2

Idea: You fell underneath the warmth of a self-proclaimed hood nigga for Spooky Szn and you've got a big secret that he doesn't know and you can't tell him.

Tags: smut, smoking, blood play, dark romance

Right now, you're in the Dunbarton Green 1976 Pontiac Gran Prix next to Fontaine as he lights up, the flame on his blunt bright in the night with the lights off. He came by late to say hello after a long day and to see if you felt like fucking him.

Of course you do. Fontaine is his own category, specially made to drive you feral. It's everything about him.. custom made. He's your boyfriend. He just doesn't know it yet.

Your seat is back, your braids are pineappled for optimum confort, and your window is down, letting in the crisp fall air while you share his blunt, filling your lungs.

It's a smoother kick compared to other wraps. It's got a distinct and earthy flavor with a hint of sweet from the tobacco. The sweet and thick cigar cigarillo scent fills your nostrils as it flows out the window mingling with the clean air.

Back and forth, the two of you pass it, giving grace when one of you hangs onto it a little too long. It's relaxingly quiet, even with the voices of a few guys from the neighborhood somewhere near. They're hootin' and hollerin' in the distance, out of sight... It's like a hood ass meditation track for people who enjoy white noise.

"Why do you think they call it white noise?" You hand the blunt back. "Is it still considered white if it's black people making it?"

"Yeah. You're fried." He takes his turn on the blunt as you watch him with eyes slit. "I never thought about it. It probably has to do with frequencies. All of them at once, none distinctly different."

"Distinctively," you smirk up at him.

He takes another pull, letting it flow from his lips. "Or maybe niggas is racist."

"Hm... Sounds about right."

There's a view of your apartment building in front of the car, so you just lay back casually and watch who's going in and coming out. It's a calm night. You look across the console, rubbing Fontaine's shoulder and down his thick arm through his grey cotton hoodie, trapping it in your grasp like a blanket. His hoodie feels soft and cool on your clean face, and it smells like his signature scent, a hint of soft jasmine and mimosa mixed with smoke. "Mm," you hum in ecstasy. His eyebrows wriggle ever so quickly.

"I've been meaning to ask you--what are your plans for Halloween?"

"Hm." He takes an unhurried moment to think. "I'm not for the door to door. I figure a few of the boys will wanna go out--find a party." He smokes. "You got plans?"

You sigh. "I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to do some white people shit with me... You know how they do, pumpkin patch and shit," you murmur, playing absently with your nails.

"You mean go apple picking and drink hot cinnamon apple cider or pumpkin spiced lattes?" He smiles briefly in a rare show of teeth. You know it sounds corny as hell, and he's laughing at it, but you really wanna do it. "I know what you mean," he allows. "They got a nice pumpkin patch at that farm outside the city."

"You wanna go with me?" You sit up, hoping. Your eyes bear into him as you hold onto his hoodie sleeve.

"Sure. Why not."

"Aight," you shift, suddenly energetic. "I'm ready now." You unlock the doors waiting on him so the two of you can stroll together. You like it when he parks a little bit further back from your building to give you more steps before you hit the door, especially when the temperature is comfortably cool like this.

One inside, you lead him on the familiar, short route to your apartment. "Mouth bout dry as Rihanna's coochie when Drake's in the room," you mutter.

"The only thing I don't when I smoke."

He tugs off his sneakers, then his hoodie, draping it over the island as you walk backward to watch the muscles revealed. He's not paying attention, but you don't wanna miss the striptease. He's a thick, muscled baddie, cut, but with a layer of healthy fat that keeps him juicy. Next is his thin white t-shirt, which leaves him shirtless in a silver rope chain. He doesn't know how fine he is, and even more, he doesn't care.

You toast his bottle with yours, taking a big sip and sitting it on the island as you ogle his chest and sleeve tats, feeling like a slut. Even his Adam's apple as he chugs.

"That's enough," you grab the bottle, replacing it with your lips in a vacuum seal. You grip his locs, drinking in the unswallowed beer spilled into your mouth from his and sucking the remnants from his tongue. The hoodie coming off your body over your head disconnects you for a moment, but you pull him in again in the same way. You feel his fingers on the back of your bra, unhooking, the freeing drop of the bra from your shoulders, and his light touch running down your spine to the top of your waistband, pushing your matching Zara sweats to a cloth puddle.

Impulse takes over.

He doesn't react, except for a low "Ok" as you sink your teeth into his smooth, thick neck trap, sealing your lips onto his skin. His attention remains on squeezing the flesh of your ass in his tight grip.

"Mm," you hum when his finger slides into your cucci purse. You bite deeper, savoring the smoothness of the blood, and the flavor of warm iron as he slips in his second finger, curving them both sweetly.

"This what you like?"

"Mmhm." You dig through locs into his scalp, your breasts flush to his chest where you can feel his strong mortal heartbeat. Lost to reason, you lock him in place while you drink him in, in sexual ecstasy, only pausing once you re-gather the discipline.

"Open."

His fingers slimy wet with your own essence find their way past your reddened lips, mixing with his blood and fondle your tongue, cleaning themselves and reaching back into your throat until you grab his wrist with both hands. His fingers slide out against your bottom lip, bringing out a cloud of bubbling thick spit that blobs down your chin.

"Since you like to suck."

"You are so perfect," you murmer, sliding your fingers through the trickle of burgundy nectar building on the side of his neck to smear red down his chestnut chest and abs into the front of his sweats. It's like fingerpainting.

With a churning motion, you add the sticky spit from your chin to the hand of blood and watch it blend into his even complexion. All his dick is an even shade of healthy brown with a slight sheen of moisture, emphasized by your mixed fluids. It's delightful in the most sinful of ways. The smell of metallic love emanating from his length draws you to your knees.

"You gone keep playing with it or put it on your mouth," Fontaine asks, calmly waiting, his hands loose at his sides. One thing about Fontaine--he's an observer. He likes to watch you, especially in your unhinged moments when you're dick drunk and churning it desperately in two hands like the essence of life lies in his cum and you'll expire if you don't get it. He's a man of little words, but he's never frazzled no matter what manner of depravity you unleash.

"Master," you keen, submissively wrapping your arms around his thighs, your cheek pressed in the space next to his elevated erection as you watch the subtle bounce, the remnants of blood and spit still present on your chin.

"You ready for me to take over?"

"Yes," you pout, your voice suddenly small.

He guides you onto his dick by your pineapple of braids with a second hand firmly but gently holding your head in one place while he uses your mouth, forcing it wide and thrusting, his cockhead pressing against your palate with the subtle taste of iron.

"Bad girl," he grunts.

You wine, holding the back of your head after Fontaine delivers it a stern bop for biting him and takes his dick back.

"I couldn't help a tiny nibble," you grin impishly, not sorry for your little transgression. What's a little pain? Especially when his swollen thick skin-wand was pulsing in your mouth, full of fragrant and vitamin rich blood in your favorite flavor--Type O. "I could even feel the under-vein on my tongue," you laugh, head back like a naughty leech. His incoming hand around your neck is welcome.

"Looks like I have to teach you what a dick is for." He tosses you over the back of your couch, keeping a hold on your throat. His warm wet tip encirles your clit, popping it to send a sensation through your body.

"Please," you gasp, feeling his lips tickling against your ear as he sinks past your labial folds into your depths, filling you to the brim with dick and letting it marinate. Every time he so much as moves, he strokes the nerves, tingling and giving chills. You feel the sensation heighten the rougher he is and the harder the collision.

"Beat it up, Fontaine." Your moans build, eyes rolling back. As a woman who cums from penetration, you live for a big broad dick digging out your lower abdomen to the degree that you can feel it with your hand on the outside. Fontaine has that kind of dick. The kind to turn you crazy. It's why you're the way that you are now.

He covers your mouth, preferring your silence so your body does the talking, squirming under the weight and intensity of his tried and true tailored to you thrusts.

It feels like a deep cucci swedish massage where the cucci getting beat down when he stuffs you, pressing on the sensitive soft tissues of your fleshy walls. Even he's entranced by the sound, wet and squishy as he stirs. It's Crack. Straight backshots until you have your strong orgasm like he needs the money and rent is due.

You watch him as he redresses, helping him adjust his clothes to look as fresh as he did when he came in. Not that he cares, it's late and he ain't doing nothing but going to see a guy about some money. You know what that means, but he's careful what he tells you and what he involves you in. You know glimpses, nothing incriminating. You both prefer it that way.

"I'll call you... I ain't forget what we talked about," he turns, taking his beer on the way out.

This is y'all relationship. Sex, smoking, freaky shit, and a friendship somewhere within. There's an unspoken friends with benefits type of understanding, but that's about to change. You wanna be official and something is telling you that this October is your season to make that happen.

@dashhoney25 @lettidarawest @soufcakmistress @ljstraightnochaser @princessstevens-blog @eye-raq @thiccdaddy-mbaku @destinio1 @iamrheaspeaks @hidden-treasures21 @bidibidibombaclaat @forbeautyandlife @blowmymbackout @misspooh @thotyana-in-this-hoe @purplehairgawdess @thegucciwaffle @goddessofthundathighs @theegoldenchild @thadelightfulone @sultanabby @mysticalblackhottie @baekhyunbabybunni @fd-writes @richonne4life @goldieccentric @thehomierobbstark @capswife @blackpinup22 @harleycativy @lishabaybeee-blog @playgurlxoxo @beaut1fulone-blog @blackerthings @syndrlla97 @ladymac82 @browngirldominion @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @uzumaki-rebellion

#dark romance #fontaine #they cloned tyrone #john boyega fanfiction #they cloned tyrone fanfiction #they cloned tyrone fic #original #black reader

[indigovigilance]

Honolulu Roast: the story of a coup

This is a crack meta, but I think I found something. I cite as inspo and incorporate by reference this coffee shop scene breakdown by @snek-eyes and response meta by @embracing-the-ineffable

Preamble: a sign featuring the daily special isn't present, then it is:

image credit: @embracing-the-ineffable

I went searching for any kind of symbolic meaning and this is what I found (below the cut):

Honolulu is a Metaphor for the Bookshop

At first I suspected there was some connection between Freddie Mercury and Honolulu, since an instrumental version of Bohemian Rhapsody plays diegetically in this scene. But that didn't yield any results, so I tried "Honolulu Queen" and I got this.

citation: Smithsonian

Liliʻuokalani, the last monarch of Hawaiʻi, came to power over the tiny independent islands as the result of an untraditional chain of succession. She only held power for two years, until she was ousted by a coup led by American plutocrat Sanford Dole (as in Dole pineapple). Ionlani Palace in Honolulu was the seat of power of the independent monarchy: the coup began with a warship anchoring in Honolulu Harbor (source). Subsequently the islands were annexed by the much larger, much more powerful United States.

In a statement, in exchange for a pardon for her and her supporters, she "yield[ed] to the superior force of the United States of America" under protest, pointing out that John L. Stevens, U.S. Minister to Hawaiʻi, who supported the provisional government, had already "caused United States troops to be landed at Honolulu."

A quote directly from the mouth of queen herself reads:

"Now, to avoid any collision of armed forces and perhaps loss of life, I do, under this protest, and impelled by said forces, yield my authority..."

Following the coup, Sanford Dole set himself up as the ruler of Hawai'i, until ceding authority to the United States.

Aziraphale = Liliʻuokalani

Who else do we know that could be characterized as the ruler of a tiny independent nation...

...that is violently invaded by an overwhelming larger force...

...and then forced to surrender to annexation to protect their loved ones...

...and now their tiny independent nation is being occupied by representatives of the invading force?

I mean. C'mon. It's right there.

Metaphorical Parallelism between Heaven:Hell and Federal:Corporate

But indigo, you say, wasn't it Hell that couped the bookshop and Heaven that annexed it?

Yes. Just like Dole of Dole Pineapple, a private interest, couped Hawai'i, which would later be annexed by the United States.

Public and private interest are, theoretically, at odds, but America in particular has a long and storied history of these forces colluding and working together for common (and often sinister) purpose.

We already know that Heaven and Hell in the universe of GO have significant interests in common, such as wanting to bring about the Apocalypse (even if that common interest is in having a war with each other). The parallelism is there.

Anyways. Yeah.

Honolulu Roast.

If you liked this meta you may like: Baraqiel and Azazel

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziraphale #metatron #fuck metatron #good omens historical references #ivoc #good omens continuity

[tari-makes-drinks]

Via dm's between @inneskeeper and I.

Hell yes, let's get to it. I couldn't find any pineapple vodka at the store, so I'm going to sub out 21% pineapple rum.

Anyways, I'm thinking 50ml pineapple and coconut rum, 15ml each blue curaçao and gin.

I literally missed the word "stirred" until I was pouring it into my glass of choice, so props to me.

It's uh. It's damn sweet. At ~24%ABV, the alcohol isn't overpowering, so the characteristic piña colada duo comes through first. They're both rums, so it's backed by a lot of sugar. No surprise there.

The blue curaçao isn't really present (except visually) so I think I should've increased it. If I try, I can identify its notes, but it's pretty shy.

Gin is a fascinating choice to add to this drink. It grounds the rums in herbal notes and pulls the flavor together. It's not quite enough gin to specifically taste the juniper, but I mixed a taster without it and I can taste the difference.

I like how this drink centers two sweet flavors and then uses herbal and bitter flavors to temper it. I kinda wonder how related liqueurs (e.g. Amaro instead of curaçao, or tequila/absinthe instead of gin) would play in this drink.

Overall, I really like it. I might have finished it before I finished this post and uhhh yeah 2-3 of these would have me acting unwise. It's probably going into my personal cocktail book as a staple.

#alcohol tw #hair of the dog

[pupkashi]

hello, thx for the sleepover invite! i brought hot chocolate & my own blanket 😤😴

may i pls req the prompt:  “freeze. i know you’re not wearing socks and trying to go to sleep right now.”  w either toge or megumi? it just seems so ridiculous that i can't hell but to 👀 wonder

hi friend !! I’m glad you got here safely :3 let’s settle in and enjoy our hot choccy under our fuzzy blankets !! I’m gonna go with toge on this one bc i feel like no one talks abt him enough </3

join the sleepover event!

there wasn’t much you and toge disagreed on. the two of sharing knowing looks from across the room when someone said something stupid, coming to a consensus on most controversial topics (is a tomato a fruit? pineapple on pizza? pepsi or coke?).

so the shock on your face was evident when you heard your lovers voice in utter distress when you crawled into bed next to him.

“pickled mustard leaf?” worry lacing toge’s voice as he stared at you with wide eyes and lightly furrowed brows.

“yeah I’m getting ready to sleep, why?” you ask, confused as you wiggle under the sheets and scoot closer to your boyfriend, he only looks at you with a bewildered look on his face.

“bonito flakes” he says, shaking his head with slightly wide eyes, as if you’d done something absolutely horrible.

‘i know you’re not wearing socks and trying to go to sleep’

“what’s so bad about that?! my feet get cold sometimes” you pout, trying to worm your way under his arm but he only scoots away slightly, causing your mouth to fall open as you laugh at his actions, “togs!”

“fish flakes” he shakes his head, ‘i can’t believe I’m in love with someone who thinks that’s okay.’ there’s a smile creeping onto his face when he turns to look at how utterly and dramatically devastated you looked.

“so this is what makes us break up huh” you sigh, already sitting up and looking down sadly, trying your best to not burst into giggles, “it was a good run, inumaki” you say, holding your hand out for him to shake.

“shut up and kiss me” he says, a smile on his face when he sees you bursting into giggles as you move towards him involuntarily.

the cursed words makes your body buzz in the best way, giggling as your lips crash into your lovers, your eyes fluttering shut before you’re pulling away, both of you out of breath.

“tuna tuna” he smiles, peppering kisses along your face as you gasp at him, smacking his chest lightly before giving him a soft peck on the lips.

“yeah well you’re in love with the ‘loser who wears socks to sleep’ so what’s next?” you tease, “you’re the one who drinks milk with ice in it” you scoff, toge’s eyes narrowing as he already begins to protest.

“salmon and fish flakes!” he groans, throwing his head back against the pillow as you burst out laughing. ‘it’s delicious! try it one time im telling you baby.’

“maybe next time, it’s already almost 3 in the morning” you smile, letting out a satisfied sigh as the two of you settle into each others arms, cuddling impossibly close and becoming a mess of limbs. “g’night i love you,” you whisper, placing a feathery kiss to the tip of his nose.

‘i love you more’ the words seem to translate automatically in your brain now, smiling as the two you start drifting off to sleep.

#omg didn’t know how to end it srry #i hope this is okay ! #i rarely write for toge ☹️💔 #pupkashi’s sleepover event #inumaki toge #inumaki toge fluff #inumaki toge x reader #inumaki toge headcanons #inumaki toge x you #inumaki toge x reader fluff #toge inumaki x reader #inumaki x reader #inumaki imagines #inumaki fluff #jjk inumaki #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen drabble

[littlescaryinternetguy]

The giant woke up on the beach, unable to move. Craning their neck as far as they can to see they are tied down, innumerable tiny cables crossing and criss-crossing. What the fuck, the giant said. From the small encampment, a very small person walks out. They seem tired. You're awake, they said. Yeah I'm awake, what the fuck, said the giant, eyes working hard to focus on their captor. We found you on the beach. A monster obviously. I was sunbathing, said the giant. Do what now? The hollowed-out pineapple full of pina colada wasn't a clue? We thought that was a terrifying device of destruction, said the tiny, scratching the back of their head. If you drink like eight of them in an hour then maybe, the giant said.

The tiny looked along the body of the giant.

You're gonna get a hell of a sunburn, they said. Maybe if you untie me we can do something about that. Huh, said the tiny.

They walked up to the giant ear of their massive captive. To be honest, we hadn't thought any farther than this, they admitted. That's becoming increasingly obvious, said the giant. If we free you, are you going to destroy our capital? No, if you untie me I'm getting the surf 'and 'n' turf special at The Beachcomber. Lobster? asked the tiny. They do this thing where there's white wine in the melted butter and it's really great. Really good lobster. The best lobster.

The tiny thought for a moment. I'm gonna free you. I appreciate it. Can I come? Where? To the lobster place. ... sure. Can I tie you back up afterwards? That's kind of a personal question, said the giant.

The tiny made circles in the sand with their toe, looking down.

... ok, said the giant. But not on the beach. It's supposed to rain tomorrow. Hmm, said the tiny. Fine, you can use my time-share. That would be ever so appreciated. Least I could do, said the giant. This all worked out swimmingly, said the tiny. We're doing this Dutch, said the giant. Ah nuts.

#g/t #sfw g/t #g/t fluff #sfw giant/tiny #surf 'n' turf

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

But first: everyone kinda teasing Blake by making it a game, let’s find more and more, harder things for Yang to crush with her thighs!

Blake gets more flustered and jealous each passing thing

I can see this being hilarious and dangerous. I love it.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Sun: Hey, Yang! (Rummages in a bag and pulls out a fresh pineapple the size of his head with the green top cut to look like cat ears) Ten lien says you can't crack this in half with your thighs.

Yang: You're on, Monkey Man! (Places the pineapple between her thighs and breaks it no sweat, sending juices splattering everywhere and hitting her chin) Pay up!

Blake: (from a distance) By the gods...

-The Next Day-

Weiss: Yang, can you help me break open this pumpkin? (Holds up an absolutely monstrous gourd in two hands) I'd be willing to pay you a few lien if you can do it without your hands since everyone thinks you're a hot shot.

Yang: Oh, yeah! No problem! (Sits on the floor of the kitchen in her gym shorts, struggles to place the pumpkin between her thighs, and grunts and growls as she demolishes it) There you go!

Blake: (standing in the doorway, swallows hard as she stares at a seed plastered to Yang’s lower lip) Oh, come on.....

-One Week Later-

Ruby: Yang! Yang! Yang! (Holds up a bushel of apples) Bet you twenty lien that you can't crack twenty of these behind your knee in under three minutes!

Yang: (rips off her pants and stands proudly in her boxer briefs) Better start counting my lien now, little sister!

Ruby: (pulls out a stopwatch) In three... two... one... GO!!!

Yang: (Starts a rhythm of placing apples between the back of her thigh and calf every other leg and pops each one so fast that it sounds like Coco's Gatlin Gun going off)

Ruby: And that's twenty destroyed in one and a half minutes!

Yang: Hell yeah!

Blake: (watching with a beet red face from the kitchen window and biting her fist as a piece of apple slowly slides down Yang's calves)

Kali: I'm thinking apple pie would be a good dessert for tonight. Don't you?

Blake: MOM!!!!

-The Next Day-

Yang & Blake: (sitting and talking/flirting on the porch)

Kali: (walks up to Yang with a coconut the size of her head) Yang, dear, can I ask you a favor?

Blake: (notices the coconut) Dear gods, no.

Yang: Oh! Uh, sure thing, Mrs. Belladonna. What can I do?

Kali: Yang, dear, I've told you before. Call me Kali. (Holds up the coconut) I don't have the muscle I used to, so breaking one of these open for dinner tonight is a difficult task. Do you mind breaking it open for me?

Yang: Absolutely! (Holds hand up) Hand it over.

Kali: (pulls the coconut away a little) Actually, I was wondering if you could do it with your legs. Ghira and I have a bit of a wager going.

Sun: Same here!

Weiss & Winter: As do we.

Ruby: (holding up yellow flags that say Yang in black) Go, Sis! Go!

Emerald: (holding a money tray filled with cash in the distance) Place your bets! Can blonde crack open the coconut with her bare thighs? What's going to give first? The coconut? Yang’s thighs? Or Blake’s horny?

Blake: (mortified but can't pry her eyes away from the coconut)

Yang: Alright (to Emerald) But I want a cut of all that! I'm doing all the work! (Grabs the coconut, places it between her thighs, and with a roar of effort, cracks the coconut into half a dozen pieces. Coconut water spills all over her lap and splashes up her chest, neck, and face) Ha! Pay up!

Blake: (so red in the face she's nearly purple as her ears flick back and forth wildly) That's it! (Grabs Yang by the collar and drags her away) No one bother us for the next hour!

Yang: (confused and struggling to find her footing) Blake! Blake! What's wrong? What did I do????

Blake: I'm going to wear your thighs as earrings for the next twenty minutes, and then you're going to snap me in half.

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby #weiss schnee #ruby rose #rwby crack post #rwby shitpost #kali belladonna #sun wukong #emerald sustrai #breaking fruit #thighs #she got them legs

[gyumibear]

💖 create a sim(p)! — 18: friends?

synopsis — after stupidly claiming on stream that you’ve been dating popular youtuber choi beomgyu in secret after accidentally creating an identically looking sim, you beg him not to reveal your lie to the public when it goes viral. weirdly, he agrees and you two begin to fool the public. can your lie become the truth or will it eventually catch up with you?

prev / masterlist / next

a/n — back with another written chapter! but this time it’s gyu’s pov! (wc: ~1k) as for warnings: swearing, mentions of murder, mentions of pineapple pizza(😭) and beomgyu having an internal crisis throughout the whole thing!

“What’s up?” Beomgyu greeted, walking smoothly into your room.

“Sit. We have much to discuss.” You ordered.

He plopped himself down in the bean bag chair.

“First order of business, my mandatory freak out.”

Beomgyu looked at you confused. His expression only amplified into one of abject horror when you, without further explanation, started screaming incoherently into your pillows. Your arms flailing wildly, you let out all your grievances and curses while Beomgyu watched on in silence, unsure whether to flee or comfort.

After you tired yourself out, you lifted your head, your neutral expression returned to your face. Beomgyu was relieved you were done screaming, given he had just become super concerned about you. Friends worry about friends right? He thought, thinking back to his conversation with Keeho and the others. Yeah, but you can also worry about someone you’re interested in. What the hell- now is NOT the time to be worried about that.

“Are you okay?” He asked quickly, desperate to clear his thoughts from his mind. “That was… unexpected.”

“I told you beforehand I was going to have a mandatory freak out. Be grateful I had the sense to not scream without the muffler.” You barked, absolutely no bite attached. Beomgyu shrugged, deciding to let you have that.

Wait, am I just doing that because I like-

“Second order of business!” You clapped your hands, snapping Beomgyu out of his mind. “We need to figure out how to address the thread.”

“Would it be crazy for me to say…” Beomgyu started, unsure how his next words would go, “I don’t think we should address it all?”

“Why would we not?!”

“Listen… It’s just giving that person what they want: attention. Nobody else was agreeing with them, so it’s not like we have much to worry about.”

“Not yet! But what if people start reading deeper into everything we do? Then we’re in deep shit.”

“You’re in deep shit.” He corrected without much thought, immediately facepalming himself for two reasons.

One, that was an asshole thing to say. And two, the way your face immediately fell made him feel like crap.

“Oh yeah… I forgot…” You whispered softly, more to yourself than out loud.

“No no, wait.” He didn’t like that expression on your face. “I didn’t mean that. Slip of the tongue. You’re right. It’s our problem, and we should fix it together.”

Friends don’t leave friends to drown. Even if said friend is in this situation because of their own stupid, idiotic actions.

“Yeah…” You nodded before looking away.

Now, it was like a wall was between the two of you. Beomgyu felt kinda bad. This whole time you had been trying to be nice to him and build a friendship, but he only gave you half-hearted reactions and treatment. Sure, you had probably only done it so that your fake relationship would look realer, but still… You were trying so hard… And he wasn’t trying enough.

No wonder he was so confused about whether he liked you as a friend or partner. Fake dating really is a terrible idea.

“Hey, why don’t we stream again? Like nothing happened, and if someone asks we can shut it down there?” He suggested, wanting to fill the silence and show you he cared at the same time.

“That could work… What should we say?”

“Pretty much that that person is reaching. It’s simple, to the point and we don’t have to make anything up.” Beomgyu made a mental note to also make a tweet condemning any of his fans for spewing hate about you. “How about that?”

“Sounds good to me. When should we do this?”

“Yeonjun actually wanted to be in one of my vlogs, so we can meet up with him tomorrow? Hang out and then record? Two birds with one stone…”

“Yeonjun…?”

“My best friend.”

“Ah… Wait, you brought your friend with you? What, you thought I was gonna murder you or something?”

“He had to shoot!” Beomgyu defended, “And to be fair, he was the one that thought you’d murder me. I trust you.”

“Oh really?” You looked surprised.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu smirked mischievously, “Trust that you wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything. You have no chance against me.”

“What?! I’d totally kick your butt if I wanted to!”

“Sure.” He dragged out the last syllable, making it extremely clear that he was being sarcastic.

“You know what? Let’s go! Right now!”

“No thanks, I don’t wanna have to explain to Yeonjun why we have to flee back to Korea before I get arrested.”

“You are not funny!”

The way you guys could playfully banter like this was making Beomgyu even more confused. He enjoyed your company, which was normal for friends… But he couldn’t help but think you were so attractive the way you shook your fist at him. It’s not like he wanted to kiss you. Or did he? Do friends kiss? God, he sounded like a loser right now.

Maybe he should text his friends again…

If Taehyun was here he’d probably set Beomgyu straight. But Taehyun would also drag him for every decision he’s ever made and then call him dumb. Jake was unhelpful for things like this, given he was a prime example of what not to do in relationships. Yeonjun was helpful… when he was available. Which wasn’t often. He was probably out right now. Keeho? He was pretty normal and pretty helpful too… But, he was addicted to being in people’s business and getting himself involved with both sides of the party...He did not want Keeho to start talking to you.

Maybe he should just take a nap.

“Fine, fine, you win.”

“Damn right I do!” You grinned, laying on your back to look up at your bare ceiling. “So… What do you wanna do for dinner?”

“Pizza?”

“Yes! Can we get it with pineapples?”

“No? What monster eats pizza with pineapples?”

“I’ll have you know me and NingNing adore pineapple pizza.”

“WHO??”

“Oh! That’s what I call Kai.”

“Oh. I thought you had an imaginary friend or something…Anyways… No pineapple on the pizza.”

“Darn.”

© GYUMIBEAR. do not repost, modify or translate my work onto other social media sites.

#k-labels #kflixnet #kpop smau #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu smau #txt smau #txt x reader #beomgyu social media au #choi beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu smau #beomgyu fic

[fizzigigsimmer]

This is dedicated to @dragonflylady77 who is amazing always encourages me to write more in this verse and who has been having a rough week. Inspired by this post by @ariesbilly

Billy is going to have to ask out the hot neighbor who runs past his window every morning in the hospital.

In his defense he doesn’t plan for it to go down like that initially. He actually has a really good idea on how he’s going to get The Runner (what he’s going with absent of a name) off the sidewalk and into his bed. Symbolically speaking, because Billy has had too much sixty-nine in dirty club bathrooms to be a princess about whether there’s an actual bed in their future or not. 

Which is kinda how Billy arrives at his idea in the first place - the sixty nine bit. Billy’s flexible as shit, and believes in the sanctity of total body workouts. Because he’s not trying to look like an asshole. It’s about engaging muscles in equal proportions so you don’t end up looking like fucking Donkey Kong.

Anyway, Billy can do a handstand with the best of them. He can do a handstand while doing pushups. He can do a handstand one handed while doing pushups. He can do a handstand one handed while doing pushups and holding a barbell. It’s impressive shit, and it has gotten him more than a few coded glances at the gym.

The goal here is to get a piece of that ass - or better yet, let that third arm The Runner’s tight little shorts do absolute wonders with, get a piece of him - but Billy’s classy with it. He figures he’ll treat The Runner to a little show before the main event.

There is a bottle of fresh orange juice and a carton of eggs in his fridge that says he knows how to show a guy he’s more than just a hit and dip. Billy even showers before he goes outside to begin his workout, considerate of the fact that sweat & musk isn’t everyone’s favorite combination. He does up his hair, forgoes a shirt, and puts on his sluttiest pair of sweats - the ones that make his ass pop - gathers up his shit and heads out into the front yard at just after seven A.M. His runner doesn’t usually come by until around half past, but Billy doesn’t want to chance missing him.  

Billy sets his towel and his barbells off to the side, facing the sidewalk, so that he’s got a reason to ask the runner to stop and he can see the runner coming without looking too obvious about it. He does some stretches to get limber, along with a set of jumping jacks to get his heart pumping and work up a bit of a sweat. 

A group of pre-teen girls wearing backpacks decide that right outside his house is where they need to stop and decide if one of them still has a crush on someone called Pineapple. Billy has no idea why they feel the need to speak in code like he gives a shit about their middle school drama, but they’re taking up the whole damn sidewalk with it. So Billy chucks a clod of dirt at their feet and smirks as they all jump and scream like a snake tried to bite their heels. 

The bravest of the group demands to know why he threw dirt at them to which Billy just snaps, “No loitering!”

Pouty and reluctant, the group starts to move on. Just in time too, because Billy spots The Runner turning the corner at just that moment. With a thrill of anticipation Billy times it in his head to give a good show and then baits the hook. He turns and bends down onto his hands, ass out, and then lifts his feet into the air. He peeks over his shoulder to make sure the runner is watching - oh hell yeah, he’s watching Billy with this sort of dumbstruck expression, lips parted and doe eyed - and then does a few standing crunches just to sweeten the pot.

All that’s left is to seal the deal.

“Hey can you -” Billy starts to ask if the guy can hand him one of the barbells on top of his towel but a girlish scream interrupts him. It’s not like the dirt clod scream where it was just a bunch of girls being dramatic, it’s different. The bad sort of scream that means someone has really gotten hurt or is about to. Billy falls back onto his feet as quickly as he can, instincts on high alert just as the sound of a crash follows the scream.

He sees the runner splayed out on his back halfway through the ratty old fence in the neighbors yard. The group of girls are surrounding a girl on the ground, who is clutching her leg but staring on in horror at where the runner has fallen. 

“Jesus Christ! What the hell happened?” Billy demands to know as he runs over.

“I was tying my shoe! He just tripped right over me.” The girl on the ground wails. Her friends back her up presumably. In any case they do a lot of talking at once that Billy doesn’t really listen to once he’s got the gist of it - girl bruised but okay, his plans for the morning possibly broken or dead.

Thankfully one of the girls has some sense, and a flip phone because she gets on it and starts to dial 911.  Billy doesn’t think the guy is dead judging by the way he’s groaning as he tries to lift himself, but the blood streaming down one side of his face does make him think he may have broken him a little bit.

“Hey, hey, don’t move.” Billy warns him, crouching at his side. He puts hands on him because the guy is wearing a glassy eyed expression that doesn’t give Billy great confidence that he can hear anything but the birds circling around his head. 

“You’re bleeding from your head. Are you hurt anywhere else?” Billy asks. A glance over the guys really trim and scantily clothed body would imply that other than a few scratches on his arms and legs the biggest problem is the bump on the head, but it doesn’t hurt to be sure.

“I’m a grown man dad I can smoke pot if I wanna.” The Runner slurs, turning his head in Billy’s direction. He blinks owlishly at him as if he’s just noticed him for the first time. “Oh hi. You’re really pretty.”

Billy smirks.

“Pretty enough for you to trip over your own ass?”

Brown eyes blink back at him in glazed confusion, the runner’s brow furrowing with deep consternation.

“No. No… it wasn’t my ass, it was…” 

He tries to turn and point like a drunken child and Billy stops him before he can hurt himself further, cause he’s obviously concussed as shit.  

He’s also stupidly cute. So while Billy wasn’t really planning for this whole thing to end in a hospital bed, and to spend his morning playing bedside vigil he’s not too mad at it either.  It’s not every day someone literally falls for you.

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #fizzi writes fic #I hope this makes you smile Guin #sending all the love #runner steve

[rainybubbles]

How do you meet One Piece Boys ?

Part 1- Marco, Mihawk, Izo, Sanji

Marco

-Try to get Ace some spicy food, and you get an explosion.

-That's how a fart can literally kill, I guess.

-But now there was a hole in the boat.

-The boat repairman was unavailable.

(his hair burnt, and his hands too)

-So Marco was here on the island trying to find a new boat repairman.

-He, firstly, found your boss who advised him to go towards you

(in fact he has a phobia of pineapples, but let's omit this detail)

-Marco presented himself, so do you

-That's how you two met.

-Yes, Marco would have not preferred that he met you because of Ace's fart.

-but he guess nothing in his life would one day be normal.

Izo

-A gun on your temple.

-Yeah, that's sounds more like how dying in 2 steps than "how-i-meet-my-boyfriend"

-Both of you were pirates, but not in the same crew.

-And your captain decided to fight against Whitebeard.

-That's how you ended up with a gun, asking yourself if the death was as pretty as this man.

-You didn't have the time to try to negociate that your captain screamed.

-Not like a "WE CAN DO THIS" thing.

-But more like "I ABANDON ALL OF YOU, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT, AND I LIE AT ALL OF YOU, JUST TO STEAL MONEY" thing.

-Guess you're almost dead and ALONE now.

-Izo and Whitebeard's crew probably pitied your crew.

-They immediately stopped the fight and while some of the commanders were sent to find your old captain.

-Edward offered you to join his crew if you wanted to.

-He didn't have to finish his sentence that you were already saying yes.

-...guess the lipsticks and the guns get you.

-And will continue to do, because Izo was your commander.

Mihawk

-You suck at everything.

-(Me too bestie, but let's ignore this)

-And you thought that being volunteer in the marine could might help you in being more confident and skillful.

-You were wrong.

-You just did more push-ups and heard more screams with how useless you were.

-And your lieutenant thought it was a brilliant idea to exploit you to do the fatigues.

-Such as deliver letters to a Warlord in person.

-Let's not talk about how the Humandrills put you in a tree, laughing at you so loud that it troubled the calmness of a certain epeeist.

-Yeah.

-Mihawk's first meeting with you was in a tree.

-With you covered in mud.

-A letter in your mouth.

-And you confessing your sins thinking that was how you were dying.

-...maybe he needed to stop the wine.

Sanji

-You saw many diseases.

-Smallpox, Hanahaki, hell even the plague.

-But a nosebleed which fills a barrel and lets the patient unconscious only because of women.

-Maybe it was a sign for you to find a new job.

-You've tried discussing with his doctor who was in your surgery searching for some new blood bags.

-(He was out of stock)

-Chopper said it was better to experience it to understand it.

-So he let the blondie wake up with a picture of a woman in his hands...

-Damn.

-Guess your white wall would have to be repainted.

-Interested you asked if it was current and if you could observe and study this behaviour.

-After all it was really something new and could help to finish some of your essays.

-A weirdo with a nosebleed problem

-that's how you met.

Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language :( !

#one piece x reader #sanji x reader #mihawk x reader #izo x reader #marco x reader #marco one piece #one piece #x reader #izo

[liminal-space-lesbian]

Loser

Pairing: Enid Sinclair x fem!reader

Summary: You've had a crush on Enid for the longest time, but she was with Ajax. Ajax, who was boring and uninspiring and not thoughtful at all. You couldn't help but feel jealous, knowing you could treat her better than him.

Warnings: unrequited love, jealousy / envy, Ajax slander

Words: 910

Part Two // Part Three // Part Four

Enid Sinclair.

The perfect girl.

She's bubbly, loyal, easygoing, funny, and not afraid to stand up for what's right. She's gorgeous, inside and out. Her cute dyed hair, her pretty blue eyes, her smile- God her smile.

She's everything.

And he's just... him.

He's... a loser. Just some Stoner kid with the personality of a wheat thin. Him and his stupid hoodies, him and his stupid dumb smile and stupid laugh. Why, why, why did Enid like him? He was rather boring, not much to offer conversationally. He was attractive you supposed, but not that attractive. Maybe he was a good kisser? God, you really didn't want to think of him kissing Enid.

It was all so unfair. Why couldn't she see him for what he was? He's just a loser. Some kid, with nothing special or particularly interesting about him. Hell, on their first date he stood her up, and didn't even bother telling her why! You would never have done that to her.

If only she saw you. She'd maybe realize....

You'd do anything for her- move heaven and earth- anything she asked. You'd get her flowers every week, make sure to get her favorites and not just red roses like Ajax. You knew Enid was partial to peonies. You also knew she didn't like dark chocolate, unlike Ajax who always bought her assorted chocolates. You knew she hated pineapple on pizza, you knew her favorite artist was Lana Del Rey, you knew her favorite color was pink but she also favored yellow. She preferred gold jewelry, she only liked her coffee sweet, and she never ate pancakes for breakfast ever since she had the stomach flu when she was twelve.

But Ajax- that stupid boy- didn't know hardly any of these simple things about his own girlfriend. He buys her silver jewelry, Taylor Swift albums, dark chocolate- all the little things he should notice he just doesn't.

But you do.

And yet.... Enid sees Ajax and not you.

You suppose that makes you bitter and jealous. Probably toxic to some degree as you glare at them during lunch, while Enid sits in Ajax's lap, telling him about her day as he gazes at her with glazed over eyes. 'Is he even listening?' You think bitterly as you clench your jaw, suddenly losing your appetite.

"Jeez, I'm not a fan of Ajax either, but you look like you're trying to blow him up with your mind. You good, girl?" Yoko asks as she takes a seat next to you, stealing a french fry off your tray. You push your tray towards her, no longer hungry as you see Ajax and Enid begin making out.

"Yeah I'm just peachy." You say drily as you pry your gaze away from the two to look at Yoko, who looks unimpressed. She heaves a sigh and rubs her forehead wearily.

"Listen, I know you've had a thing for Enid for like, years, but you really need to let it go. She has a boyfriend and it doesn't look like they're breaking up any time soon. There's so many other girls too! Don't miss an opportunity just because you're so hung up on Enid." Yoko says, her voice slightly uncertain as she speaks, a hint of worry in her tone. You knew somewhere in the back of your mind Yoko was just trying to be a good friend, and you knew she was probably right. Your heart however didn't care, bitterness and envy swelling in your chest like acid.

"I don't want other girls. I don't care about other girls. Enid is just- she's different. There's nobody like her, shes so sweet, and pretty and smart and warm. And loyal! I mean look what she did for Wednesday last year!" You huff angrily as you look back towards Enid, seeing her and Ajax now standing and saying their farewells, Enid giving Ajax a big hug and a kiss before happily skipping away. 'I wish she hugged me like that.'

"I know... but still it's not healthy to keep pining after her like this. She just... doesn't see you like that." Yoko said gently, her gaze soft as she tried to catch your gaze. You felt a familiar squeezing in your chest at her words.

"I know but... I don't think I can help it." You say softly as you look down at your tray. standing up and taking it with you, dumping the rest of your food in the trash before heading to your next class, ignoring the lump in your throat.

How could you think such cruel things about Ajax anyways? Why must jealousy burn you up from the inside? Why couldn't you just be happy for Enid? She seemed pleased enough in her relationship. So what if she wasn't with you, so long as she was happy, right? You just couldn't help but feel she would be happier with you. Such a selfish thing to think.

In the end, Ajax was with Enid, not you.

Perhaps you were the one who was a loser.

#enid sinclair x reader #enid sinclair #wednesday tv series #unrequited love #jealousy

[earthtoharlow]

Flashing Lights

Jack Harlow x SingerOC

Series Masterlist

04) The Sweetest Hangover

FUCK

Maryse squints at the sunlight coming in from the open window. Rolling over in the bed to grab the bottle of water she always leaves on her nightstands after late nights out, she immediately realizes that she’s not in her own bed.

Maryse's eyes fly open and quickly sits up. She grabs her head with both hands. Her head was pounding, this might be the worst hangover ever.

Gazing around the room, she notices a few plaques on the wall with Jack’s face on it. So she was either at his place in LA or she went home with a guy who was obsessed with the rapper.

Speaking of which she threw the blanket off her and was happy to see that she had clothes on. She was wearing a white shirt that said missionary jack and some blue new balance sweatpants. Yup, definitely at Jack’s place.

Her mouth was as dry as sandpaper. She needed a toothbrush and water, pronto. Maryse sat up and she untangled herself from the bedsheets, and slowly climbed out of bed.

As she walked down the hallway she smelt coffee coming from the kitchen. Walking in, Maryse saw Jack leaning against the counter wearing nothing but gray sweatpants. This man was going to be the death of her.

“Morning.” He told her with a smile upon seeing her before turning back around to turn the coffee maker off. Then walking towards her. He looked too fucking good in those grey sweatpants and messy curls. Maryse knew she must’ve looked run over with her messy curls and last night's makeup. “Do you want something to eat?”

Maryse immediately shook her head. The thought of eating something right now made her physically ill.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, how the hell did I get here?” Maryse then asked him. Last thing she could remember from last night was falling over laughing with Saweetie.

Jack began to laugh a little. “Well funny story, you were supposed to be calling an Uber and ended up calling me instead to pick you up from the bar.”

Maryse's hands flew to cover her face in embarrassment. God why! “Oh my god, Jack I’m so so sorry!”

Jack laughed again, “It’s okay, Maryse. It’s really no problem at all. I am your hero, after all.” He said before giving her a wink.

“Well, thank you. I just hope I didn’t say anything too embarrassing.” Lord knows the things that could’ve possibly came out her mouth

There was a slight pause from Jack like he was thinking things over. Maryse would’ve mentioned it if a wave of dizziness didn’t hit her.

“…nothing embarrassing I promise.”

“Good.” Maryse said and rested her head on the counter. “I’m never drinking again” she mumbled.

All she could hear was Jack’s laughter and cabinets opening and closing. Seconds later, she could feel him nudging her in the arm.

“Here, drink some water.” Taking it thankfully, Maryse drowned the water. Shaking her head when he asked if she wanted more.

“Since we were already going to hang out today, how about I quickly get ready and then I can take you back to your Airbnb and then we can go get lunch?” Jack suggested

Maryse lifted her head. “You still want to hang out with me after last night?” She had just made a fool out of herself, again in front of this man.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Jack asked before leaving the room to get ready.

Couple hours later Jack and Maryse were off to West Hollywood to grab some lunch. Jack claimed this cafe was the best cure for her hangover.

“No way, you ordered pineapple pizza in front of me. I don’t think we can hang out anymore!” Maryse said to him jokingly.

“Oh no you’re one of them?!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

They were sitting across from each other, Jack leaned in closer to her. “You’re one of those people who gatekeep what to put on pizza.”

All Maryse could do was scuff at him, and roll her eyes. “You’re literally so white.”

It was Jack’s turn to scuff. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, I felt the need to remind you. But fruit does not belong on pizza! You do know you’re mixing fruit with tomato sauce.”

“It’s healthy for you!” Jack exclaimed

All Maryse could do was simply laugh at his silliness. “Oh please wise one, I’d love to see you explain how it’s healthy.” She said leaning back in her chair, arms crossed with one eyebrow raised.

“Alright fine, pineapple is a good source of vitamin c…”

“Uh huh”

“And according to nutritionists” Maryse quickly cut him off. “Which nutritionist? Name them.”

“Stop interrupting me! Like I was saying, nutritionists say that yellow vegetables or fruits prevent you from getting colon cancer…”

“What a load of nonsense!”

Maryse’s face hurt from laughing so hard, seeing her laugh was making Jack laugh as well. Anyone watching them would’ve thought the two were on a date with the way they leaned into each other as they spoke. As their pizza came and went they stayed tucked away in the corner of the cafe with Maryse eventually moving to sit next to him in the booth. 

“So how many instruments can you actually play?” Jack asked her curiously. 

Maryse started counting on her fingers trying to figure out how many she could play. “Piano, drums, and the guitar; electric, bass, & acoustic.” 

Jack’s eyes widened, shocked that she said that so casually. He was impressed and made sure to tell her so. 

“That’s insane, how did you have the time to learn all of them?” Jack asked. The only instrument he could play was the recorder and he only knew one song which was hot cross buns.

“Remember I told you how my dad taught guitar and that my mom was a music teacher?” Jack nodded and Maryse continued. “I didn’t learn the drums until I was much older but playing guitar is part of who I am. I remember watching my dad teach others how to play and thinking how freaking cool he looked. I wanted to be just like him so I begged him to teach me. The rest is history as they say.”

“Wow, I’m sitting next to a rock star!” Jack exclaimed. 

Maryse laughed at that. “Damn right you are.”

For the first time since they got to the cafe there was a moment of silence. The silence was thankfully comfortable as the two stared into each other's eyes. Maryse was the first to break eye contact when her phone vibrated from a text from her producer and flashed the time. 

Maryse gave him an apologetic smile before reading his text. Apparently they cooked up a fire beat that they needed her to listen to asap. Maryse sighed while reading it, not wanting to end her day with Jack so soon. 

Hearing her sigh, Jack asked what’s wrong. “They just need me at the studio, right now. To be honest, I really don’t want to end our day together.”

Jack was happy to hear that she was having as much fun as he was hanging out with her. “I don’t either, but we’re both going to be in LA for a while working on our albums so I’ll see you soon.” He said as they both stood up to leave the cafe.

As they were walking out to Jack’s car, Maryse noticed a few paparazzi across the street taking photos, she rolled her eyes at the sight. Paying attention to them and not where she was going, Maryse ended up tripping over her own feet just a little. Looking up hoping no one noticed, she looked over and saw Jack holding in his laughter.

“It’s not funny!” Maryse told him with a laugh of her own, before giving him a light shove. Jack could only laugh harder. 

Maryse hopped in as Jack held the door open for her. The pair rode in comfortable silence to the studio. She couldn’t help but look over and watch Jack as he drove. There was something unbelievably sexy about a man driving. The side profile, the look of concentration, driving with one hand…it was almost too much for Maryse. 

From the corner of his eye, Jack could see Maryse watching him with an expression he had never seen on her before. Like she was in awe of him. 

“What?” He questioned. Jack watched as she shook her head a little, and gave him a shy, almost embarrassed smile.

“Oh, Nothing.” Before looking out her window.

Once they arrived at the studio, Jack came around to open the door for Maryse. They both stood in front of each other, trying to find ways to kill time so they didn’t have to leave one another. 

“I guess I should head inside before they start looking for me.” Maryse says with a sad smile. Jack nodded before wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight against his chest. If Maryse could stay in his arms forever she would. The hug lasted longer than it should’ve but they finally pulled away. Jack with a hand still on her arm he said. “I’ll call you later, ok?” There was a slight pause before Jack bent down to her height and placed a kiss on Maryse’s cheek, dangerously close to her mouth. 

Shocked, Maryse tried not to gasp at the spark the simple kiss sent through her. After pulling away, Maryse waved bye and before walking towards the entrance of the studio. She had to get away so she could freak out privately.

Once she got to the door she turned back around, happy to see Jack still there watching her. He was leaning against his car with his hands in his pockets. Maryse gave him another wave which he returned and walked inside. 

Feeling giddy after that kiss, Maryse let out a quiet squeal and skipped a little down the hall not realizing Jack was watching with a smile on his face.

JACKHARLOW

liked by saweetie, lifeofmonet, urbanwyatt, yungskylark, neelamthadhani, killtrav, natewilliams and 709,487 others

jackharlow: first date 😍

view all 10,678 comments

user: omg you guys finally met properly

user: ok this kinda cute

natewilliams: 🤔

user: oh she hates you

user: yikes at nate

user: damn jack why she wanna go home lmaoo

dojacat: you got her out the house after a night out????

user: her voice tho

user: maybe your are vibes off idk

saweetie: how is she functioning right now? i feel like death

lifeofmonet: I'm not

lifeofmonet: i didn't even know you were filming me!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: kinda a filler chapter but let me know what you think! :)

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#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow reader #jack harlow instagram au #social media au #jack harlow social media au #jack harlow

[mores0]

So, I just rewatched season 1 episode 14 of Psych/the poker episode last night, and I have so many thoughts lmao.

First of all, Henry recommend Psych to one of his buddies, he wouldn’t admit to it, sure, but he did that. And that seemed to mean a lot to Shawn, it was kind of sweet honestly. And then Henry told Shawn to tone down the psychic crap, so for the rest of the episode, Shawn acted 100x more unhinged which is so real of him honestly. Love him for that. And then at the end of the episode, he literally impulse gambled their payment for the case and lost it in the span of about one minute- which hurt me a little bit inside lmao. I felt Gus’ pain in that moment, haha.

And Shawn had a really cool ‘oh, he’s actually really fucking smart’ moment in this episode- which I’m always go feral for. So like- he finds this random business card for lawns right? And instead of just thinking it’s junk or something, he just says “why would the guy have this? He’s in debt and lives in apartment, he has no lawn and even if he did, his priority would not be his lawn,” or something around those lines. And on the back of the card there a was a random combination of R’s and L’s, which would’ve been gibberish to anyone else- but later on- he goes to the gardening place yeah? And he follows a suspicious guy around for a bit before losing him and realized that the letters in the back of the card were directions and discovered a whole ass underground/illegal gambling ring- what the actual hell lmao! Things like this only ever happens to Shawn, I swear.

But, no, for real. He was so smart for actually figuring that out, I don’t know who else would’ve.

Anyways, in a different post I already talked about how Shawn has a terrible sleep schedule, which is also seen in this episode because Shawn was sleeping in like, the middle of the day and only woke up because his dad told him something came up in the case. Henry- let him sleep, omg.

Also, Juliet’s part of the episode was gold. So, it’s Lassiter’s birthday and she wants to throw a party for him. And, it’s crazy how different their relationship is in this episode, because Juliet talked about how he never talks to her, and sometimes he asks to drive in silence, which I literally can’t imagine happening later on in the series. Anyways— to find out more about what he likes, she calls his mom who is exactly like Lassiter lmao! His mom at first thought that she was trying to steal her information, and that she was now recording their call, and then Juliet accidentally slipped out that he was separated which his mom did not know, and so she immediately hung up, Juliet was now regretting her entire life, and then you see Lassiter picking up his phone because his mom wants her ring back lmao! And then she goes through his notebook and invited all the people on it to his house, and apparently they were all just repeated crinimals that he checks up on, but they were so nice honestly. Instead of doing anything bad, they all just showed up and stood around, and one of them even brought him a gift.

And then Gus and Shawn ran away as if their lives depended on it, which was hilarious, but, like, why?? Lmao, they weren’t the ones who invited them, why are they running for??

And, yes, this post is for @pineapple-psychic, I hope that you like it even though it’s more incoherent than usual lmao.

#shawn spencer #burton guster #burton gus guster #henry spencer #juliet o'hara #carlton lassiter #psych #psych tv #🍍

[shallowseeker]

Beach Boys

Dean hates that this beach is public.

There’s too many noisy folks, and now a roaming wad of douchey bros (you know the type) is courting Sam for beach volleyball.

Sam looks dumbfounded, like he hasn’t noticed how tall he is, and how that might make him first pick for the intramural beach-losers’ draft.

But Sam, being Sam, quirks an easy grin and says “sure.”

Ugh.

Jack throws puppy eyes, and Sam asks if he can play, too. The dude-bros shrug, friendly in that oily, college-keg-totin’ kinda way.

“I’ll play,” Mary says, jumping up and giving Jack a gentle nudge. “Show you the basics.”

Well, Dean doesn’t wanna play.

It’s been Hell getting his overlapping towels just right so none of the friggin’ hot sand grates against his skin.

The group of college bros move off to the net a little ways down from them and plops their enormous Arctic Cooler keg (surprise, surprise) off to the side.

Rowena pulls her sunglasses down, peeks appreciatively at the mass of tan, muscly bods, and makes to move her entire setup closer, umbrella and all.

“You comin?” she trills.

When Dean shakes his head, she pulls off her oversized hat and plops it on top of his head.

“Suit yourself.”

///

Sam gets the hang of it pretty quickly, but then, he barely has to even jump to spike the ball.

Mary is good—quick on her feet and able to skitter through the thick, ankle-floppin’ sand like a human sand-crab.

Jack is—not good. He misses more than he passes, and his first serve doesn’t even go over the net. The college bros jeer, and Dean squeezes his empty beer can hard enough that it crunches.

He mentally names them: Smirky Opie for the tall redhead, Stifler for sunglasses guy, and A.C. Slater for the dark-haired one.

They’re all dicks.

Dean can tell.

“You can do it!” Mary keeps saying, and Sam just claps his hands like some kind of deranged rec-league coach.

When Jack digs his first spike, Dean whoops for joy. When Sam slams down a kill, Rowena whistles.

///

“They seem to be enjoying themselves.”

Dean hadn’t heard Cas come up.

“Yeah,” he says absent-mindedly. “You got the better stuff?”

Dean peeks up, and Cas’s face is shadowed by the glare of the sun. But he’s got two drinks in hand, one deliciously chocolate and frothy-looking.

“Oooh, gimme.”

Cas dutifully hands over the creamy glass of Bushwacker. Then, Dean watches Cas watch him gulp it down. Finding it difficult to keep his gaze, Dean tracks his eyes back to the game, where Mary misses a block at the net.

“Hold this,” Cas says, and a shorter, orange-colored glass gets shoved into Dean’s free hand.

Dean takes a whiff. Rum?

“Whatcha get?”

Cas’s lips twitch, “Jungle bird.”

Dean fails to hold back a smile. “Nice.”

“Rum, pineapple juice, and Campari, though I can pick out many more molecules than that.”

Cas stoops to snag his own towel, discarded and messy on Dean’s right side, then snaps it mid-air, sending tiny granules spraying too near to Dean’s nest of towels.

“Hey.”

“Sorry.”

Cas re-spreads his towel and settles down, no more than a foot of space between them. Dean glances over, finds him lying flat with both eyes closed.

Cas’s hand shoots out expectantly, and with a fond snicker, Dean sets the Jungle Bird in his open palm.

When Cas takes a small swig, his mouth bumps up against the slice of lime hooked onto the glass rim. His unoccupied hand rests against his stomach, looking extra tan against his plain white tee.

Dean kind of wishes he’d move it, maybe drop it strategically into the space between them.

Dean blurts out, “You don’t wanna play?”

Cas squints one eye open. He looks curiously to the volleyball net.

“Not particularly.” Then, “Those males seem somewhat mean-spirited.”

One of the dudes gets hang-time and crams a spike so hard into Sam’s face that Sam barely gets his wrists up to shank it.

Yeah.

“You have more towels than when I left.”

Dean rolls his eyes. So what if he’d hogged the towels? So what if it made more laundry that they'll have to do tonight?

“Sand’s itchy as fuck, man. You see that beach house five doors down? S’got a hot tub built into their deck.”

Cas’s eyes close again, languid and as close to relaxed as Dean’s ever seen him.

“Hot tub. Wouldn’t you find that oppressively hot in summertime?”

“Not at night! That’s the real time to enjoy the beach anyway.”

Cas stares at him for a long time. Dean can’t parse it.

“Yes,” says Cas.

Dean clears his throat and glances back to the game just in time to see redheaded-douchewad-Smirky Opie spike the ball into Jack’s dopey, smiling face.

Blood sprays from Jack’s nose, and Smirky Opie grins wider.

Dean’s blood pressure goes through the roof.

#when i can’t sleep #i say goodbye to summer #ficlets