#so hes def telling us he’s ready for adult food

[quitealotofsodapop]

MK ends up supervised at all times when he's pregnant specifically after he nearly burned down Pigsy's due to pregnancy brain, usually by Red Son and/or Mei but occasionally by the others. They let his siblings babysitsupervise him one time and the older adults came back to them all asleep in a cuddle pile on the couch with MK in the center, Mei's phone still on and playing the OSP 'History Hijinks' playlist because dorky mortals do be dorky sometimes

MK also absolutely has Wukong's "Gold Vision lets me see the baby(s)" thing and would just lovingly watch his kids as they developed via Gold Vision, drawing what he sees for Red and the others (except Wukong cuz he can ofc also see the developing grandkids). Red has all of the drawings compiled into a photo album, along with ultrasounds and so many pictures of just pregnant MK. He loves his husband very very much

Awwwww!!!! I havent much to add because these are so cute!

Wukong and Macaque are protective ofc, but they've been through the pregnant monkey motions before, so they give MK almost-complete freedom whenever he's with them. DBK and PIF in contast have an army of Bull Clones at the ready to attend MK's every need and ensure the safe arrival of their future grand-heirs.

Pigsy would def be the most insistent that MK take parental leave from work - both out of concern (thats his adoptive son and grandpiglets there), and out of fear for his poor restaurant. Tang thinks he's over-reacting a bit, but carrys MK's food to him irregardless. Sandy ofc is the most trusted expert when it comes to breathing exercises, teas, and aromatherapy.

Mei is chiller about letting MK do stuff for himself around the house, but wisely doesn't let him cook something unsupervised. Nezha and Chenxiang are chill in their own ways too, but they worry when MK carries anything heavier than a book. Bai He and the Eclipse Twins are determined to make sure MK stays off his feet until the spicynoodles baby(s) arrive. They would be mega-proud and bossy about it too since; "I'm their uncle/auntie!", and MK adores his little siblings too much to argue with them. Sibling cuddle piles/nests are a common occurance.

With Red, atleast MK can convince her to let him walk to the corner store for snacks. Red does insist that MK take a Bull Clone to carry any heavy weights tho (bonus: safety precaution).

MK using his Gold Vision to "peak in" at the developing baby(s) is such an adorable idea. He probably does it first on accident and is speechless. Wukong tells him how he did the same thing when Macaque was pregnant with MK (+when Shadowpeach had Rumble & Savage), and that its super cool to watch the little guy(s) grow. MK would def sketch up what he sees in there and pins it next to the corresponding ultrasound for comparision.

I feel like thats how they found out there was twins...

Ultrasound Technician: "Ok, looks like you've got a big healthy baby demon in there!" MK, turns on Gold-Vision: "Huh, but whats this blobby bit of energy here? Normally I see only one." Ultrasound technician: *moves sensor to the spot* "Oh!! Make that two healthy babies! That one must have been hiding behind its twin." MK: :D!! Red Son: *faints with joy*

Red Son def has an endless wallet/photo album of their growing family. Their almost as bad as their dad - Mr "Canonically brags about the exact time of his kid's birth to anyone who'd listen" DBK. Red Son got the timestamps ready for their own bragging.

#the monkey king and the infant au #the monkey king and the infant #spicynoodles being parents #spicynoodlesshipping #spicynoodles #pregnancy tw #trans mk #nonbinary red son #lego monkie kid #lmk #shadowpeach being parents #freenoodles being parents #sandy being the best uncle #lmk fan children

[brick-a-doodle-do]

I will def be sending more but a lil tied up atm so here is the first one I thought of.

Why is it that Humans always end up with odd socks?

Could it be that perhaps a small tiny finds humour in watching the Human bend over backwards trying to find the missing sock?

(You can do any characters but I think a tiny Tommy stealing socks to prank people would be hilarious! Or maybe even tiny bench trio stealing everyones socks :3 go wild Brick!!!)

ahhh becky thank you! this is a very cute idea :D i'm tackling all the fluffy ideas first because it's easy to keep those short dsfjfsfjd

(might make this a multi-parter or an au because i think i jumped the gun with how quick tommy was found. lmk!)

i'll be unclean, i'll be obscene

cw: swearing, brief panic

wc: 784

—–—

One, two, three, four, five, ah, so on—he's bored now.

Point is: he's doing good. While his little sock-stealing hobby had begun when he'd simply needed the material, he had lived through the humans' frantic responses to when he took only one, and he found the scene to be rather amusing, which immediately struck up an urge to do it just purely for the hysteria it caused.

Now, five months down the line, he's got a healthy stash of mitch-matched socks that sit in unused hallways until he's ready to give them back. His decision to is always spiritic; one day he may decide to toss it somewhere, another day he'll return it to it's exact place, and occasionally he'll keep it to give into his greedy urges.

Tommy usually only does it because a human pisses him off. He can't say he particularly knows the human he's housing with, and he can't say that he can tell them apart all of the time, and technically, he doesn't really know their names apart from an occasional yell that's too incoherent for him to make out, (Techno? That couldn't be right), but he does know who irritates him: all of them.

Living in a house with a middle-aged man and two young adults drew a tough situation; things were either too messy to be considered his time, (Seriously, how is he meant to make a beeline to the thing he wants if it's blocked off by fucking mountains of clothing and trash? Gross as shit.), or too tidy to be able to be hidden in case of an emergency.

Which is why they get on his nerves, hence why he doesn't find it harmless to steal a few socks every now and then!

As of late, a human had obscured his view of the house with a shopping bag, (Which he used for safety), , but not for food—for clothing. The tall one. Wil? Wilba?

So, off he went, down the ramp leading to his spot in the walls and straight through the dim walls, where he followed the path from muscle memory, (The brown-haired human pissed him off a lot), until he saw an opening.

He steps out, smothered by half-darkness and half-light. The hole in the wall was under Wilbur's bed, hidden behind where Wilbur usually kept his guitar.

It was risky, but the stand was enough to keep it hidden, and plus, it was easy to scale up it and find footing on Wilbur's nightstand, which led to the windowsill, which led to a series of shelves, which led to his dresser.

So, he follows that path, digging his nails into the foamy texture of the guitar stand and making a determined move to the nightstand.

He traces the length of the tabletop, then pulls a hook from his cloak and gathers the rope attached to it, winding it carefully and making sure his shot would be easy.

Tommy moves his arm back, then throws the hook overhand. It catches onto the end of the windowsill and he tugs, before moving closer so he can start climbing. His arms lack good strength,(Although at this point they really shouldn't), and he struggles to get up.

He curses out as he slips, but catches onto the windowsill before falling any further. Tommy pulls himself up and gathers his hook from it's spot in the wood, then continues on. He climbs up to a shelf with practiced ease, then jumps down to the dresser.

Sock drawer, next stop. Fortunately, it was the highest drawer in the thing, next to another one that he had little interest in. Socks were his expertise.

He shifts to kneeling down, where he peers over the edge at the handle, which is positioned down, as it often is. Ah, well, he can pry it open.

Tommy does simply that, putting a hand in the crease of the drawer and using all of his strength to creak it open. It's a slow and agonizing process that leaves his arm screaming from the usage, but it gets him what he needs.

Fucking prick will think next time before leaving clothing in the kitchen.

He climbs in, making a quick glance to the door as he does.

Unfortunately for him, as he makes the gesture, a large and impending shadow is bestowed upon his thievery, and he's left gazing up, and up, and up, and...

Ohfuckingfucktheresahandcomingrightforhim—

He yells out as two fingers pinch at the back of him, holding him up by the hood of his cloak as the brown-haired human stares at him in mild disgust, brief curiosity and seeping amusement.

"Ah, you're a pesky fucking thing, then, aren't you?"

—–—

#brickquiries #becky brickling #beckyu my beloved <33 #brickfic #drabbles #short prompt series #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #dsmp g/t #dsmpt gt #dream smp g/t #dream smp gt #t!tommy #g!wilbur

[padawansuggest]

Okay so I’m not reblogging the original post cause I made it sorta long and I don’t wanna clog up anyone’s dashes and such, but I have some more ideas. I tagged the post ‘Mandalorians adopt ferals’ and all posts with that will be tagged that too, so, follow that to find more.

I’ve decided that the Jedi creche has wookie creche masters (I don’t care what AU it is literally my fave characters of any AU will always be wookie creche masters. They give the BEST hugs and tell super old stories and even have pics of Yoda as a youngling) and so when a Mando’ade Wookie approaches Jaster and Jango to get their ferals something to eat and blankets, Jaster and Jango actually expect the ex-jetti to be a little more nervous about this massive wookie comin up on them.

But Xanatos and Obi-Wan were temple raised and that instills a lifetime of reaction in them. They are attentive and listen quietly to the nice wookie that just wants to give them blankets and food (they were super nice and gave Obi-Wan post-starvation portions but he’s kinda grumpy that Xanatos got more spices than him but he’s less likely to throw it up if they give him a little more flavor) and they’re finally warm and fed and ready to just… give up and let someone else fix this shit.

There are a lot of Sith headcanons out there and idk and idc about most of them, because I don’t really like any Sith AUs, but I like the idea that without the force to compound his anger, Xanatos is just beyond exhausted. He’s depressed and exhausted and can’t stop crying and self hatred and can’t stop thinking about what he’s done but also what Qui-Gon has done to him (and now, to Obi-Wan too) and he’s just done. That drive he had for revenge and power is just gone. He just wants to sleep a million years.

Obi-Wan, on the other hand, is sort of still terrified. He’s surrounded by Elders rn and he’s been running for his fucking life from just about everyone he meets for a solid 6 months now, he’s gone through torture and slavery and now that his collar is off again, he can FEEL the love and concern these adults are giving him, but it’s still terrifying.

He clings to Jango (and sort of Myles, who was the one to help remove the collar) because younger (tho still 20-22) and oddly enough, the nice wookie. He still grew up in the creche and him and Xanatos know that Wookies love cubs more than just about anything. So. Jango. Maybe Myles. Def the nice old Wookie who says he’s 1.6k years old. That’s mega old. And he supports the new Mand’alor???? So Jaster must be a good guy if he’s got support from a Wookie who also supported Tarre Viszla too.

By the time Dooku shows up it’s to see his ex-grandpadawan in a depressed slump on a cot (Jaster is swapping between running their forces to find the Death Watch so they can get off this planet and find some mind healers, and taking care of the tired man in his tent trying to become one with the mattress) and his OTHER ex-grandpadawan hiding from everyone except the alor’ade and a nice wookie who’s wrapped him up in blankets and such, lookin half starved and changed into someone’s kid’s overalls.

He is immediately a fuckin mess. His grandbabies went missing and he’s been petitioning the council to bar Qui-Gon from any more students for years and then his OTHER grandbaby goes missing and he finally finds them both lookin like life has used them and abused them and he was right!!! Qui-Gon needs to be barred from anymore kiddos!!!! He’s already ruined at least two!!!

He’s the one who’s finally able to coax Xanatos into a semblance of life again, mainly by creating a force bond with him as soon as Jaster lets him near enough, and Obi-Wan’s crying again because this is just gonna be one more master who leaves him behind for another student and he’ll never be good enough for anyone and Jango is trying to coddle him into calming down so Dooku makes a bond with Obi-Wan too and now Obi-Wan is hiding in Jango’s lap all embarrassed and refusing to come out cause he was crying like a baby over not getting enough attention and Dooku is gonna end up flailing here, he’s got his work cut out for him dealing with these two now. Oh god he’s got some fucking work to do.

Obi-Wan accepts Dooku being his and Xanatos’s stand in master till someone can come to take over their care later. Dooku says he kind of wants to bring in Master Sifo-Dyas for Obi-Wan, considering their gifts are similar enough, but he’s also asking Master Nu to come out with him (which perks Jaster right up cause the woman has blocked every number he’s sent her messages under and he just wants to see the goddamn archives in person plzzzzz) and tbh she might end up being the one to take Obi-Wan on with Sifo-Dyas together because it would be good for them.

Xanatos says he doesn’t wanna be a Jedi Knight so maybe just giving him to the mind healers is best, so now they have mind healers coming out too.

Anyways. Xanatos is depressed and Obi-Wan is a whiny baby who just REALLY wants to get the attention he never gets for once and as soon as Dooku realizes he can give Obi-Wan a bond with Jango and Jaster he’s fuckin gonna cause this kid deserves some attention for once and Obi-Wan is just so sad and self hating but also terrified of adults and he just deserves someone he can count on fully for once. He’s just a little guy. The nice Wookie is gonna be the best ba’vadu ever.

#Mandalorians adopt ferals #star wars #obi wan kenobi #xanatos du crion #jango fett #jaster mereel #master dooku #Obi wan in overalls and crying about wanting a hug is all I want in life #he has so many adults trying to love on him but he just wants a bond to know they’re safe

[homiesliketovent]

so... ive never told anyone this except for, like, anonymous sites. i could tell my s/o or my friends, but thats hard and im kind of afraid to.

so. lets start at the beginning. i had unlimited access to the internet from a very young age. and, when i was 10, or so, i decided to download discord. i started joining servers and talking to people and stuff, and i was totally obsessed with it. than, one time, this random guy from a anime server i was in added me. he started talking to me about my profile picture, my life, and pretty soon he wanted me to send a picture of myself. (not sexual.) i remember getting so excited bc he was being a little bit flirty and stuff, but i was still weary because he was technically a stranger on the internet. so, i put it off for a few minutes.

he asked me how old i was and i lied and said i was 13. (because, as an 11 year old, i thought 13 was old.) he said that he was 13 too. he pressured me a bit to send a picture of my face but i was as resilient as a i could be. my resilience probably lasted ten minutes.

it was okay because i felt kinda felt comfortable enough to send him a picture of myself, but not enough to send a picture of my full face. so, i dressed up a bit so i could be "flirty" or whatever, and sent a picture of myself with my face covered by my hand. he complimented me a lot, but even when i asked him to send a picture of himself, he never would. that should have been a huge fucking red flag.

at some point, i asked him if we were friends because, up till then, i hadnt had many good experiences with long lasting strong friendships. and he said "of course" and reassured me and i indulged in him that i had issues in the past with fake friends. he told me that he would never leave me and stuff like that, and i was so glad to finally have an actual friend. he was so nice to me and i genuinely had a huge crush on him. i was so ready to start this fucking- internet relationship, or whatever, with him. its gross.

i used to keep a list of everything he told me about himself, because i wanted to know him really well, and i dont have the best memory. when i was cleaning my room a year ago, or so, i found it and tore it up. (i knew his name, he liked video games and talking on discord servers, his favorite food was pizza, his favorite anime was fairy tail.)

he would send me random hentai and porn and i always just kind of laughed it off, even though thats so not normal because we were both (supposedly) 13. i never questioned him in any capacity, really. i trusted him completely. so much so that i sent more pictures of myself. one of them was a mirror selfie so he ended up seeing my body. (again, not sexual.) its just fucking gross that he has access to what i looked like as an 11 year old. i think i even sent him a picture of my face that wasnt blocked out by anything. i dont really remember. through all of this, he still refused to send any picture of himself.

anyways, at some point he got banned or his account got deactivated, or whatever. looking back, i think it's def because someone reported him. but i was so mad at him, because he told me that he would never abandon me, and he did. i sent so many angry messages to his deactivated account. at some point, i deleted our whole chat out of anger. i wish i could still go back and look at it though. as said in the title: i miss him.

later i found out that he was a full grown ass adult from someone in a server he was in. im so fucking angry and upset still. im not traumatized, or anything, i can still be on discord servers and talk to men and stuff, but like... every once in a while i still have a panic attack either because of what was happening to me without me realizing, because he's probably jacked off to pictures of me, or because i irrationally think that a whole ass pedophile didn't even want me, so no one ever will. i still think about him a lot and i still miss him for some god forsaken reason.

#vent post #vent #grooming #tw #cw #child grooming #toxic relationship #toxic friendship

[thisiswhathappenswhenimbored]

before you love someone, love yourself first.

This time last year, what was happening in your life? i was settling into life in japan & boy do i miss it there. Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today? i went to starbucks this morning.

Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? my best friend commenting on how her ex-husband is on vacation with his new wife for like the 50th time this year.

Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city? i live on an island, like i can get to the other side of the island in about an hour, we don't have trains here.

Do you bathe your pets regularly? when they live with me yeah.

Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office? there's a mailbox right down the street.

What was the last animal you saw, and was it a pet? a chicken or a rooster, i'm positive of that. no they aren't pets. there's feral chickens/roosters all over the place here.

Have you ever had an ear infection? yes, getting them as an adult is even worse.

If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? i really really love watching roswell. don't know why i just do.

Would you have any clue when your best friend last got their hair cut? a few weeks ago.

Someone messages you just as you’re about to go to sleep. Do you reply? if it's my husband, absolutely, yes, i like to annoy him.

Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? no.

Have you ever been hospitalized due to dehydration? when i was pregnant yeah.

Is there anything you need to remember to do before the day ends? no? i don't think so. i have a lot i need to remember to do tomorrow though.

When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? i absolutely blast it, i want to go deaf. i hate being able to hear noise around me when i'm listening to stuff with headphones/ear buds.

What’s your favorite online radio site? i don't really use online radios? i mean unless you count youtube music.

Do your parents have any authority over who you date? absolutely did not have any authority. fuck my dad, he can def kick rocks. my mom never tried to tell me not to date someone. although i'm married now & she tells my husband every year there's no returns allowed.

How many different shades of nail polish do you have? probably like two, i had to throw a bunch of them away when we moved.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? a latte from starbucks. lol. i'm really bad at remembering to eat most of the time

Are you lucky enough to have an ice maker in your refrigerator door? i mean the house i pay an exorbitant amount of money for includes a fridge with an ice maker in it.

Are you the type to wake up before the sun has even risen? i do everyday, sucks having kids that i have to get ready for school.

Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? yes.

Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. i have plenty of things i could rant about but i won't right now until i get my thoughts together.

Do you have a favorite towel? What color is it? no.

Have you seen any films with Judy Garland in them? yes i have.

How did you feel when you woke up today? Why? exhausted. my husband is gone for work right now & i always sleep like crap when he isn't here, unless i have my dog with me but my dog is on the other side of the country from me.

Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? my group chat with my friends about the pet shipper i found that said they can get me a quote for an in cabin flight for my dog with a flight nanny. gonna cost a fortune probably but i'm so excited for him to get here.

When was the last time you saw them? uhhhhh, my best friend i saw a year ago the rest of my friends it was a little over a year ago.

Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? my brother's name is nick, he lives on monsters. that's all i know about him.

What are you listening to? let us prey, a docuseries on hbo about ifb churches.

What year are you/did you graduate? i graduated from high school in 2008. i've been working on & putting my BA on hold while we've been bouncing around though.

Are you obsessed with anything? uhhhhhhh, i'm not sure.

Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? waffles.

Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? non-diet.

Do you like seafood? i never used to then i lived in japan & now hawaii.

Are you craving anything right now? i don't think so.

Do you dress appropriately for your age? yessss, my husband gets mad because he says i normally dress like an old lady but i shouldn't because i'm only 33.

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you buy them? no, i don't even really eat mcdonalds.

How long is your hair? middle of my back, i think.

Do you like your neighbors? i don't know my neighbors.

What’s your school motto? i have no clue.

Has a bird ever flown into your window? yesterday.

Which word did you say first, mama or dada? i don't know, i don't think my parents would know either if i asked them.

How old were you when you learned to walk? young, before one.

What was your first pet’s name? max.

How many kids were in your class in kindergarten? 20?

Who was your best friend in elementary? constance.

Who was the best athlete in your freshman class? pfftttt. uhhhh, i think it was def ej manuel.

What teacher did all the high school boys/girls have a crush on? def mr. larue, he was a little creepy though.

Where do you see yourself in a year? in hawaii still. probably going to school since i quit my job.

If you were able to change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i'm not sure. i kinda like myself like this.

Are you content just blending in with the crowd? yeah, sometimes.

[darkwood-sleddog]

Slash’s back legs have shot UP again

edit: also can we appreciate Zombie’s BUFF leg please.

#canine #dog #dogblr #alaskan malamute #slash #dog photography #zombie #he got a walk today bc its been a week since his surgery tomorrow! #let’s just say he needed it #he also ATE lots of dinner #except he picked out all the puppy food and only ate the adult food #so hes def telling us he’s ready for adult food

[mediocre--writing]

The One Where Bucky’s Not Ready (Headcannon)

Bucky Barnes X Neutral!Teeange!Reader

(also kinda Reader X boyfriend)

Summary: You’re Bucky’s kid and one of the most mature, intelligent kids ever, but when you don’t come home after Winter Formal, Bucky flips out. (Based on season 1, episode 9 of Gilmore Girls)

Word Count: 1670

Warnings: Allusion to doing the dirty, but nothing mature

so, you’re like the best child known to man

like you have one of the best GPAs in your school

(and the state, lets be honest here)

you have never done anything wrong in your life, aside from like maybe yell at someone

(but it was 9th grade and they shouldn’t have been bullying the sweet, little, harmless, unwillingly outed gay boy in homeroom)

ANYWAY

it’s finally 11th grade and you get to go to the upperclassmen dances

like the winter formal and prom

fun times, dancing, music, and best of all, free food

you’re also going with your first boyfriend and you bought a new outfit that was a deep blue with a white mesh that sparkles like stars on the bottom

so you were excited to say the least

BUT

bucky has been dreading this day

he’s been dreading this day for a WHILE

because his little baby is growing up and they look beautiful but they’re going with a BOY

so you could say he’s a bit nervous

possibly a bit paranoid

no

completely and utterly horrified because HIS PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY and A BOY are driving THEMSELVES to a sparsely supervised high school dance

and he KNOWS what can happen at high school dances

oh yeah

he, too, was a kid once (hard to believe but true)

but he let you go

he did a bit of a background check on the sketchy looking boy but apparently he’s still just an ‘innocent little 17-year old boy’

he thinks that’s bull crap

and he asked tony to check but he just doesn’t think it’s right

so he had virtually no excuse to not let you go

he tried

“but what if he’s a bad driver?”

“are you sure he’s really that nice? he could be faking”

“but what if [insert ridiculous dad-type thing he’d say here]

it was endless

but when your date came to the door and your face lit up with a childish grin, bucky knew that he couldn’t hold you back anymore

you were growing up

it didn’t mean he would stop worrying

because it’s bucky and he’s never NOT worried once in his damn life

like have you met steve???

he has reason to believe you’d get into some sort of mess

but he couldn’t stop you from doing things anymore

so he reminds you of something that you forgot to grab earlier

and gives the boy a “sTeRn tAlKiNg tO”

more like a few death threats followed by sarcastic chuckles

and serial killer glares

but once you returned from upstairs, it was all fine and dandy

albeit your fidgeting date

so you went off with your boyfriend and had a wonderful time at the dance

you both ate more than you should have

you danced together

even a slow dance that was incredibly awkward and you both MAY have stepped on each others toes

six times

...each

but it was fine

and to your dads surprise, you weren’t exceedingly drunk by the time people were leaving

‘cause you didn’t drink anything but water

because you’re a goodie-two-shoes

but you still know how to have fun!!!

but you guys weren’t tired, and it was only 10:30

and bucky said you didn’t have to be back until midnight

so you did the rational thing

and went to mcdonald’s

because you’re growing children and need all the nourishment you can get

(“mcdonald’s isn’t providing any sort of nourishing food” “shut up steven”)

but you guys had fun

and you went on your way back home

but you forgot you had left your laptop at the avengers compound

and so you made a quick stop before heading home

but since it was closer to midnight than you thought, nobody knew you had gone in to grab something

and as you made your way up to the guest wing where you would do homework in between yours or your fathers training

and you grabbed your laptop

but your date flopped on the bed like a giddy child, bouncing up and down

“did you know this room had a wAtErBeD?!?!”

the buffoon

but you just chuckled as he laid down

he sat against the headboard and threw his hands behind his head

hitting a panel

which turned on the flashing LED lights and the tv that appeared seemingly out of the wall

ya boi was having heart palpitations for this room

he wasn’t even coherent at this point

just giggling and bouncing on the waterbed

but he had the CUTEST SMILE

and he was smiling so bright the crows feet around his eyes made an appearance

so you took of your shoes because

“damnit heels HURT after hours of dancing”

and you jumped on the bed with him

and you guys laid there for a moment

or what you thought was a moment

because you were both giggling

then you both had fallen asleep

but bucky trusted you and he was asleep by 9:45 that night

because he knew you would be home on time

oh boy oh boy oh boy

when he woke up to his phone ringing

and it was steve asking if he wanted to go on an early morning run

bucky was already in a bad mood

but agreed to go

so he went downstairs to check on you in your room

but oh boy the bed is empty

and bucky’s thinking rationally like you’re probably safe at a friends or whatever

but he’s never had the talk with you

he thinks you’ve mentioned it to natasha at some point or another

but he’s never addressed it

and he DOES NOT WANT YOU DOING MATURE THINGS AT 16

he doesn’t want to be a grandpa yet

he’s barely gotten used to the father thing and he’s been a father for like 16 years

but he’s not READY FOR THAT

AND NEITHER ARE YOU

but little does he know that while he’s talking to steve on the phone while freaking out

that tony motherfuckin stark is laughing his ass off because he can hear steve and bucky talking because steve’s phone’s volume is always way too loud

(#OldPeopleThings)

and he can hear steve trying to reassure bucky that

“the child was raised by assassins she’s PROBABLY NOT DEAD”

but tony’s just looking at his guest room where there are flashing LED lights still on and two (FULLY DRESSED and obviously very tired) teenagers sleeping on a waterbed

so he goes to steve and pulls him by the back of the shirt to the guest room and just points

and steve snorts (very loudly), which wakes up the kiddos

and bucky is SCREAMING

like no filter cussing out steve because

“WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING I DONT WANT GRANDKIDS YET AND MY KID IS GONE”

but once you’re fully awake and realize that the sun is up, you’re not in your room, and steve and tony and YOUR BOYFRIEND are in a room with you

and your eyes widen

and then you realize

you fucked up.

so you grab your heels and phone and BOLT out that door

you don’t even have your car because you drove with your date

but you sprint to tony’s garage

because you can apologized or taking one of his cars later but you can’t do that if your dad kills you

so you’re def speeding

because you’ve never done anything bad and you can’t have this make your dad not trust you anymore

but back at the compound your bf and steve and tony are all talking to bucky on speakerphone

which is an event in itself

“barnes your kid is in my car driving to your house”

“no! i wanna talk to the BOY!”

said boy is terrified

“mr. barnes, bucky, james, sergeant, sir i didn’t do anything with y/n i promise”

“i don’t trust him! steve is he lying????”

“how the fuck am i supposed to know i’ve met the kid like three times?”

***exasperated sigh***

“wait she just pulled into the driveway!”

so you come inside

still holding your shoes you never bothered to put on

and bucky is just standing there

watching you

with his serial killer eyes

the ones that don’t scare you

or so you thought

“so.....

[dramatic pause]

where were you???”

and jeeze you’ve never talked faster than that moment

any and all of the speeches you’ve given are noting compared to the utter BULLSHIT coming out of your mouth right now

and your shaking and bucky realizes then

you’d never do anything like that yet

he’s being an overprotective dad

because you still ask him to drive your own car

and you still ask him to braid your hair when you want it to look SUPER GOOD

and you aren’t a complete idiot

and even if you DID DO IT, you would’ve been smart about it

and he realizes that you’re perfect

and that even though you’re a teenager you are more mature than most adults 

so he does the smart thing

he takes the shoes and your phone out of your hands gently

sets them on the table by the door

and he hugs you

really tight

LIKE REALLY TIGHT

“dad you’re hurting me”

he lets go and has tears in his eyes

“i know you didn’t do anything but you’re growing up and i’m gonna miss my baby”

and you tear up a bit

and bucky’s phone rings

it’s steve

but it’s NOT

ITS BOYFRIEND

“sir i swear we didn’t do anything. we fell asleep and mr america said that i should call you but i didn’t have your number and he gave me his phone and i’m really sorry but don’t make us break up because i REALLY like y/n and she’s important to me and i don’t want to lose them yet and i just feel awful”

and bucky hangs up in the middle of THAT

and texts steve

“tell that kid to calm down nothings gonna happen to him

...

......

unless he does it again”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x daughter!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fluff #daughter!reader #neutral!reader #marvel #winter soldier #captain america #marvel x reader #tony stark #iron man #steve rogers

[amillioninprizes]

A Tale of Two P.I.s: How Stumptown Succeeded Where Veronica Mars Failed

A hardboiled female private eye with a drinking problem, a litany of temporary sexual partners, and trauma resulting from her romantic soulmate dying in an explosion that’s partially her fault solves mysteries.

This could describe either the freshman ABC show Stumptown, starring Cobie Smulders as military veteran Dex Parios, or Rob Thomas’s intended vision for an adult Veronica Mars in the wake of the recent S4 that aired on Hulu. Many VM fans turned to the former after the supreme disappointment that was S4 in order to get their kickass lady detective fix; a common refrain that I’ve seen is that Stumptown is the show that adult Veronica Mars should have been. Notably, Stumptown was recently renewed for a second season, while Hulu has declined to order more seasons of Veronica Mars. Now that the pain of VM S4 is less fresh, I recently watched the first season of Stumptown to see if it was worth the hype. Here are the reasons why I think that Stumptown has been renewed for a second season while Veronica Mars has, much like Susan Knight, been left dead in the water:

Dex is a competent detective

Like, I shouldn’t even have to say this, but: if you’re going to make a show about a private investigator, that character should be able to crack cases. Rather infamously, Veronica did not solve any mysteries in VM S4: Keith solved the bomber mystery, Logan solved the congressman blackmail mystery, and Vinnie solved the missing ring mystery. Veronica just kind of floated around being a mean party girl.

Meanwhile Dex, despite being less experienced as a detective, uses her smarts and background as a military interrogator to solve the mystery of the week. She notably utilizes disguises and undercover work, two former features of Veronica’s investigating that were missing in S4. The show also makes a decent attempt to portray the realities of her having to obtain a license to be a PI and work legally, including an internship and dealing with consumer complaints. Contrast this with the proposed future seasons of VM as a traveling detective--something that would be nigh impossible giving licensing requirements.

I think the contrast between the two’s abilities can best be seen in their opening scenes of the season: Dex, at the casino, is able to suss out a married dude hitting on her pretty quickly, comprehensively listing his tells. Meanwhile, Veronica’s first scene in S4 has her randomly smashing a client’s belongings to find hidden cameras and then unprofessionally overcharging her. If that’s how she treats clients, it’s no wonder that Mars Investigations is financially struggling at the beginning of S4.

Stumptown also does a better job than VM S4 of showing why the protagonist chooses to be a detective. For Dex, it gives her stability and a sense of purpose that had been lacking since her return from Afghanistan. On the other hand, Veronica is shown to be somewhat dissatisfied with her life in S4, but it’s never explicitly addressed why; it’s also not examined why she remains in Neptune as a detective when she could use her Ivy League law degree at any time and live anywhere, especially when she appears to no longer have a talent for being a detective. Logan briefly broaches the subject in one scene, but it’s dropped just like every other VM plot thread.

Dex is a marshmallow

As has been covered extensively elsewhere (including the pages of this very blog), probably the largest issue that people had with S4 of Veronica Mars outside of Logan’s death was Veronica’s characterization. Rob Thomas said in interviews that he told the writers this season to write Veronica like a porcupine; the end result was a portrayal that dialed all of Veronica’s negative traits to 11, added new ones, and completely removed the softer aspects of her character that made her such a compelling and complex protagonist. There was an attempt to give Veronica an emotional connection to the bomber mystery via the character Matty, but for most viewers it didn’t resonate due the flat affect of both actresses and poor writing. It was hard to feel like Matty was a sympathetic underdog when she had a wealthy mother ready to whisk her away to Paris for Spring Break. Veronica also doesn’t appear to have retained her former drive for justice; she mostly seems interested in collecting a paycheck (and if that’s the case I again ask why she isn’t using her Columbia law degree). She also weaponizes her white womanhood against a Latino teenager. What a great role model!

Contrast this with the also outwardly caustic Dex, who initially IS only in it for the paycheck. First off, even that’s somewhat noble in that she needs to take care of her adult brother with Down’s syndrome. Yet she quickly finds her sense of justice overcoming her desire to make bank. We see this early in the season when she turns against the PI she is shadowing in order to help a young mother obtain custody of her child from her wealthy, abusive ex-husband. This is also seen when she brokers a deal to protect the privacy of the biological child of a political candidate she’s been hired to find dirt on.

Dex also relies heavily on her support system--namely her brother Ansel, best friend Gray, food truck purveyor Tookie, and even police detective Hoffman. She resists her brother moving out because she’d be lonely without him, and her entire found family are instrumental in helping her with her cases. This isn’t necessarily different from Veronica per se, although Veronica treated her loved ones cruelly in S4. Additionally, Rob Thomas wanted to continue the show without them, despite how heavily Veronica relied on them both to help her with cases as well as emotionally.

Stumptown also shows that even if Dex hasn’t fully processed her trauma, she is capable of growing. She makes nice with her high school enemy after clearing her daughter of suspected drug dealing. Contrast this with Veronica, who punched her high school nemesis at her high school reunion (and for the five millionth time, no one wanted to see that) and was shown to have regressed as an adult to be more immature at age 35 than she was at 17. That didn’t make her seem more cool or noir, just sad.

Also, Dex actually manages to brush her hair. (But srsly I need to know how they get her hair to do that great wavy thing).

Dex’s trauma is thoughtfully addressed

As a corollary to the above point: there was obviously Something Wrong with Veronica in S4, but the show didn’t bother to explain what had transpired between the end of the second book and S4 to explain her seeming personality transplant; as a fellow fan has said, the show pretended to deal with her trauma but glossed over it in reality. For example, in addition to depicting her as being depressed and cruel to her loved ones, she is shown drinking heavily and doing drugs, both of which are out of character for her. Yet the show seems to glamorize it; none of her loved ones express any concern about this behavior and there are no references made to her alcoholic mother, whose actions negatively affected her growing up to the extent that Veronica had previously expressed wanting to avoid becoming like her. But despite the fact that she was obviously struggling with something, Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell stated that they needed to kill Logan because Veronica was somehow not traumatized enough. Apparently, putting Logan’s ring on her finger just magically erased her previous issues (unrealistic and harmful messaging to trauma survivors), and he needed to die because women can only be interesting if they’re damaged (misogynistic). Adding insult to injury was Rob Thomas’s assertion that Logan’s memory wouldn’t play much of a part of the show going forward because it would be too depressing and he needed Veronica to not be consumed with thoughts of him while engaging in “strange sex”, whatever that means. Yeah Rob, it would def be realistic for Veronica to just get over the fact that her husband and love of her life died of a bomb due to her oversight in a year and then continue on her merry way without any support from her loved ones!

Stumptown, however, explicitly connects Dex’s self destructive behavior with her past trauma: in the very first episode Dex is shown frantically texting contacts for a sexual hookup in the midst of a PTSD episode. The most powerful scene of the entire season in my opinion is one where, after experiencing a flashback to her time as an interrogator in Afghanistan, she goes on a bender at home and trashes her house to the soundtrack of Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain.” (As an aside, I would also like to point out that Stumptown deftly portrays the trauma and grey morality associated with military service, which could have been an amazing (and noir!) storyline for naval intelligence officer Logan in future seasons of VM if Rob Thomas wasn’t such a dimwit).

Additionally, the death of her not quite-fiancé Benny hangs over her, even though the event took place twelve years prior to the start of the series. Even before Benny is introduced onscreen in flashbacks in the penultimate episode of S1, the show does a good job of portraying just how much he and their relationship meant to Dex. The season culminates in Dex finding out that his death in an explosion in Afghanistan was not in fact her fault, as she had previously assumed. Interestingly, the show’s writers considered revealing that Benny had faked his death, but the head writer later stated in an interview that doing so would invalidate the trauma Dex had experienced for 12 years and would ultimately be cruel. While on a shallow level I wouldn’t have minded them bringing Benny back since the actor who played him was super attractive and had great chemistry with Cobie Smulders, the decision the writers made instead makes more sense for the world they have built and is far more thoughtful: it allows Dex to obtain a sense of closure and growth while respecting her grief.

Women over the age of 35 aren’t Satan

A criticism of VM since it originally aired is that the show generally portrays female characters, especially mothers and other women over a certain age, in a negative light (and Rob Thomas has been defensive about it just as long). The books partially rectified this by introducing the characters of Petra Landros, the former model turned owner of the Neptune Grand, and Marcia Langdon, the new Balboa County sheriff with a murky past. Marcia was brought back for S4, but considerably dumbed down and less complex than in the books (and there’s definitely something to be said that the first time a BIPOC woman is shown in a position of power on screen in VM that her character is diminished).

Stumptown, on the other hand, has two women as older female mentors/nemeses in positions of power: Sue Lynn, the matriarch of the local Native American tribe, and Lieutenant Cosgrove of the Portland PD. Both have complicated relationships with Dex: Sue Lynn ended Dex’s relationship with Benny, her son, yet repeatedly seeks her out for help with matters on the reservation. Lieutenant Cosgrove often finds herself at odds with Dex while the latter is attempting to solve a case, though she also encourages her to legally obtain her PI license. It shouldn’t be revolutionary to have complex older female characters as supporting cast on a female-centered show in 2020, but after 15 years of misogyny from VM it certainly feels refreshing.

Where Stumptown falls short

All of this is not to say that Stumptown is flawless. Despite my praise for including older female characters above, the show is still pretty dude heavy, especially Dex’s inner circle. The mysteries of the week are of fairly average quality, and several were reminiscent of some seen in VM’s original run--the season even ends with a “Who’s at the door?” gambit. I also didn’t love the storyline where Grey’s girlfriend gets Dex drunk and tricks her into thinking they had slept together in order to drive Grey and Dex apart--that felt like something out of the mind of Rob Thomas. It also bears mentioning that in the context of current events the generally positive portrayal of the police department and Dex’s close relationship with them should bear more scrutiny. And while the show is well done overall, it never quite reaches the emotional resonance of original flavor VM (but then, neither did VM S4).

Despite those quibbles, I think it’s a good show overall. I felt like as the season progressed the creative team figured out what worked and the cast seemed to gel together. I love the classic rock soundtrack (another area where VM S4 failed, given that it abandoned VM’s signature indie soundtrack for generic pop music), which in conjunction with Dex’s wardrobe gives the show a fun retro feel. By the end of the season I was firmly won over, and I look forward to S2. Hopefully the writers of Stumptown paid attention to the backlash to VM S4 as a lesson in what not to do going forward.

#surprise bitch you thought you'd seen the last of me complaining about VM S4 #well think again #also this turned out way longer than I thought it would #i deleted a whole section on the stylistic choices in Stumptown vs. VM #Veronica Mars Hulu revival #Stumptown #Veronica Mars

[theghostofashton]

arthur pendragon: character analysis

i’ve been wanting to do this for so long, and a lot of people said they wanted it on that post i made about potentially doing it, so....here we go. strap in, y’all. this is gonna be a long ride.

i’ve had this thought in my mind since i watched the series for the first time through. arthur, canonically having depression, but it never being outright said, because, let’s be real, i don’t think they had a working understanding of depression as a mental health condition (i’m sure it did exist - the earliest accounts come from mesopotamia, but it definitely wasn’t thought of back then how we see it now). i think the episodes that really solidified it for me were 3x12 and 3x13. there were little hints leading up to it, like this, 

this is from excalibur (1x09), and you can see arthur’s face change when uther says this to him. you watch the surprise physically manifest on his face, because uther has never told him that. he’s gotten this:

and again, uther admits that it’s entirely his doing, and not arthur’s: 

and this is important because of something else that happens in the episode. 1x09 is arthur’s coming of age ceremony, where he officially takes the title of crown prince. i was reading someone else’s post about this - all credit to them for what i’m about to say here. they were talking about arthur being the best warrior in camelot, and how that’s....well, remember this?

so you mean to tell me that there are no older, long-standing knights? ones who’ve been training for longer than arthur’s been alive? he’s the best? or he’s been forced to be the best by his tyrant of a father who could do nothing but berate him his entire life, to the point where he genuinely believes he’s a disappointment and inadequate. what did arthur have to go through to get to a point of literally being the best warrior in the kingdom before he was even crown prince? 

most people headcanon arthur as around 20 in the first season, potentially turning 21 at his coming-of-age ceremony. and y’all, let’s be real. he’s still a kid. 20 is not a full-fledged adult, by any means. i’d argue that he barely had the chance to be a kid, before uther stepped in and begun to groom him to take over the throne. he didn’t have friends, aside from morgana. the men with him in the pilot are never seen after the first episode. as soon as merlin arrives, he latches onto him, again, because merlin is the first real friend he’s ever had. 

merlin is also the first person to completely and utterly refuse to treat him like a royal. we see it in the first episode. merlin wasn’t raised with a concept of royalty and class order the way arthur was, obvious from the way he speaks to arthur, even after learning he’s the king’s son. and arthur, as he’s been taught his whole life, is all “you can’t talk to me like that i’m the prince”, but really...he latches onto that, throughout the series. merlin treats him like an equal. like arthur. not the prince, not the future king, and i’d argue, given the whole destiny and “two sides of the same coin” thing, merlin would have all the more reason to treat arthur like he’s special. but he doesn’t. 

this is why arthur is so attached to merlin. this video is hilarious, but you realize, through watching it...arthur has people who could dress him, serve him, etc, in the kingdom. there are hundreds who would be happy to. but that isn’t good enough. he needs merlin. because merlin sees him. merlin sees arthur, underneath all of the princely royalty and formality. merlin makes fun of him and laughs at him and doesn’t take his crap, makes him feel normal, makes him feel human, i would absolutely argue. merlin makes him feel like he’s more than a representation of camelot. he’s a person, too.

in 3x06, when arthur almost marries elena, it’s merlin who gets him to stop the wedding. it’s merlin’s speech right before, merlin’s reaffirmation that no, he’s not just the future king of camelot, he’s a person, and the kingdom is shit if it means their ruler is unhappy. it’s about arthur’s royal duty, but it is equally about his happiness. merlin won’t let him forget that. 

arthur’s been raised to believe that his feelings don’t matter. his happiness doesn’t matter. it’s camelot, above all, and he just has to live with that. newsflash to uther: feelings don’t go away simply because you tell someone not to have them. arthur represses everything because he’s been taught to. he’s been told that’s what’s needed from him. being true to himself is selfish, because he can’t do that and lead a strong kingdom at the same time. it’s impossible. 

also worth mentioning that when he does try to do what he wants, make himself happy (i.e courting gwen), uther sentences the love of his life to death and forces him to deal with that. even though gwen ends up being fine (bless u merlin), that fear, that panic, that the person he loves most will be forcibly ripped from him because for the first time in his life, he’s doing something for arthur... again, it reinforces that what he wants doesn’t matter. his feelings and his happiness do not matter. 

and now we get into what really solidifies this for me. the end of season 3. morgana’s betrayal. more specifically, this scene:

and here, what’s really really interesting to me, is that even merlin evokes the “you’re the prince this is your royal duty” card, in trying to get through to arthur. he goes there, because he knows that this bad. arthur is the most defeated he’s ever seen him. 

the first time i watched this scene, with merlin bringing him food and trying to convince him to eat, it reminded me of how you’d treat a friend going through a depressive episode. try to lift them up, bring them something to eat, and promise them they can conquer what they’re dealing with.

and then we have this: 

that scene, with arthur slowly emerging from the cave, ready to fight again, just reminds me so uniquely of what i just said above. merlin, the concerned friend, trying to do something, when someone they love is dealing with stuff, and arthur, finally emerging from his depression and garnering the strength to try again. 

this is a little moment, but i’ve always thought it was so important:

you’re not tho. and merlin knows that. this is after merlin was hurt by the dorocha, after he and lancelot come back. the other knights are sleeping, and the camera pans out to show us merlin and arthur talking. specifically, arthur being vulnerable and scared and sad, about what’s to come. the thing is, he wouldn’t have opened up and talked about it to anyone, other than merlin. it’s like merlin has become his safe space to be honest about everything he represses around literally anyone else. merlin knows he’s not okay, and arthur knows he can’t convince merlin otherwise, so he just doesn’t. that like.....immediately after that scene of them welcoming merlin back, we cut to this. arthur starts to open up, speak his real feelings, because merlin is there and merlin is his Person, and he’s okay to do it. there’s no pretense. 

and then we have grief pt. II 

the end of season 4, agravaine betrays arthur, and then we have these scenes, more heart-wrenching every time i watch them. 

this is his inadequacy. his lack of self-esteem. arthur doesn’t believe in himself, like, at all. he hasn’t lived up to uther’s standards, he hasn’t been the “expectation” of a strong and powerful king, and that is reinforced by the people he loves constantly turning on him and betraying him, convincing him that they care about him and then turning on a dime and trying to destroy his kingdom. 

tristan tears him down so easily. too easily. if arthur really was arrogant, overconfident, self-obsessed, he wouldn’t sink this deep based on someone whose opinion has literally no impact on his life or power over him’s words. 

(there are def more scenes throughout season 4 that show this, but i’m realizing how genuinely long this post has gotten and i feel like i need to shut up soon so i’m just pulling the biggest scenes)

god, i just wanna wrap him up in the biggest hug and tell him he’s doing well. he’s doing the best he can, and it is enough. but arthur genuinely believes this. he believes he’s awful, and disappointment, and an unworthy, undeserving king. 

and then we have this, going back to what i said earlier about merlin being the concerned friend trying to help someone they love out of a depressive episode. arthur wants to go back to bed and wallow in his sadness and inevitably repress it, and allow himself to be defeated. merlin has other ideas. 

there are a lot of ways to read this scene. the way i see it, arthur needed this. he needed to feel this confidence and assurance in himself. he needed to feel worthy. merlin used magic to get the sword out of stone as a tangible, visual representation of arthur’s strength and power as king. 

........and then it is completely torn away from him in 5x03. fuck uther. fuck him so hard. he deserves to burn. i’ll never forgive him for 5x03, for this:

the look on arthur’s face after uther says this absolutely kills me. this entire scene kills me.

uther calls out the knights, arthur says they’re some of the finest camelot has known, uther says that listening to others makes you look weak, and then arthur’s voice starts to waver as he says that listening to others is a sign of strength, not weakness. he’s trying so hard, to remember what merlin’s told him, what gwen’s told him, what everyone in the kingdom has loved him for for so long, and uther tears it down in seconds. 

arthur’s voice remains shaky through the rest of it, as uther criticizes gwen and arthur’s decision to marry for his own love and happiness, because again, what he feels and what he wants does not matter. even after his death, uther is still finding ways to destroy any sense of self-worth and self-esteem arthur’s worked so hard to build. god, it makes me fucking furious. 

arthur starts crying after uther tells him he’s destroying his legacy. he’s been trying so hard to be good, to be worthy, to be something, and it’s torn down, once again. 

he keeps trying to believe in himself and build that self-worth, but people keep tearing it down, reinforcing the things he already thinks of himself. 

let’s talk about gwen for a quick second. my girl. i love her so much. when arthur is doubting himself, feeling badly about a decision, she’s always there to remind him that he is good, he is strong, he is capable. 

this is 3x12. and in this scene, arthur still looks like a scared little boy, unsure of the future. and gwen says this, and you watch his face change, you watch her remind him that he has done good, he is good, and that she’s proud of him. finally. someone is proud of the decisions he makes. someone believes in him. 

when arthur is doubting himself, gwen is reminding him of how good he is. she always makes sure to say it. 

this is 5x12. episode before last, and arthur is still not sure of himself. he still doubts everything. this is not something his reign has fixed in him, because it’s not fixable. the things he’s endured, the abuse uther has put him through, has developed into depression, into this overwhelming self-loathing, because he constantly feels as though he isn’t enough. he constantly feels unworthy.

angel’s delivery in these scenes is always magnificent. you can hear the emotion in her voice, the vigor with which she’s trying to convince arthur that he’s more than he’s been told his entire life. she knows he struggles with this. she knows it’s hard for him to believe. she keeps telling him he’s good, because he hasn’t grown up hearing that. and he needs it, desperately. you know how they say your love language is something you were deprived of as a child? arthur’s is absolutely words of affirmation. he needs them.

merlin does it too:

arthur is a good king and a good person. he is strong, and brave, and every bit the king camelot deserves, if not so much more. this is another post entirely, but this is why it bothers me when people get angry at him for how he reacted to merlin’s magic. look at merlin’s place in his life. look how much he trusted merlin with, how much of himself and his soul he beared to the only person he could trust with his honest, vulnerable, raw feelings. i ship merthur, but even if you don’t, the actors have said that merlin and arthur had a bond that superceded everything. they were soulmates. imagine your other half lying to you for as long as merlin did. 

(this is not to say merlin isn’t valid for keeping it hidden for so long - i get that he had his reasons, i’m just saying that arthur’s reaction was justified). 

but yeah. arthur pendragon is a depressed, insecure angel who desperately needs all the love in the world and i will never shut up about it. he is a good, strong, self-less king, who led camelot to its true greatness. he made us so proud. 

#im def gonna comb through this over and over and rephrase things #but i just spent three hours doing this instead of researching for my thesis y'all are welcome #arthur pendragon #arthur #merlin

[eeveemasters]

hey, all you lovely people!  full disclosure i talk a lot and i have thought about this character thoroughly when you look under that read more... oh boy... just a heads up. anywho... guess i’m the last here i see, well, that’s typical. I’m late to literally everything, although this time I do have a good excuse. i’d tell you what it is but you don’t really wanna read about me gettin’ it in all weekend and drew is my bro -like literally. we share blood. we came outta the same womb. 26 hours of labor. 19 minutes apart. our poor mother-  so he def doesn’t wanna read about it and that is a swill of information about me before ya even know my name which says a lot, doesn’t it? inst-y-ways, I’m maddie and I’m Jewish, you’ll figure out why i’m putting that out there now. also hello again. i hope y’all are ready to get this party started, cause this is where it’s at! look below & hit that read more and I will tell you all about my baby girl, Eevee.

TW: DEATH, DEPRESSION, STALKER, MURDER, KIDNAPPING

★ ━  ( candice patton,   cis-female,   she/her )  ━ ★   just to be clear, ya didn’t get this information from me.   The person you’re lookin’ for is     EVELYN LUCIA MASTERS.   also known as     EEVEE.    Last I heard she was born on   APRIL 7TH, 1988    in    SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS,   but she’s been livin’ in   RICHMOND,    for about    EIGHT MONTHS.    Word around the districts is, this doll,    EEVEE  can be    VENGEFUL,   SELF-RIGHTEOUS,   &    A KNOW-IT-ALL,   but i gotta tell, ya, alls I seen is good things, like the fact that she’s   RESILIENT,   CHARISMATIC,    &     ENERGETIC.   I guess that depends on how well ya know ‘em, though.   the last thing ya need to know is that she works as an   A-LIST ACTRESS  &  CO-OWNER OF EXCALIBUR COMICS.  I don’t know much about what that’s all about but I do know that’s all I can tell ya the rest you gotta find out on ya, own.  ━     ( ooc:  maddie,   pst,   28,   she/her ) 

Evelyn Lucia Masters.

the irony of her name is that it means “wished for child”

she was definitely not.

hence why she goes by... 

Eevee. 

Yes, like the Pokemon.

No, it’s not a stage name or a gimmick.

She legally changed her name.

It’s on her credit card. ( so are kittens! )  

Born in San Antonio Texas.

Jewish, Bisexual & Very Proud.

Collette Rivers

Her mother.

One of the first and few Black, Soap Opera stars.

Had a wildly popular sitcom for a hot minute.

Career was on fire in the 80′s & 90′s.

Transitioned to clothing designer and eventually a reality tv real housewife when she couldn’t get jobs anymore.

Joseph Masters.

Her Father.

a former actor

was very well known for CSI.

was on broadway.

became a sought after director.

it’s a whole family in the biz, so of course...

@ two years of age, Eevee became an Actress™

baby diaper commercials with her mom.

then singing lessons.

then dance lessons.

then pageants.

more commercials.

a bit of child modeling.

more commercials.

reoccurring kid on sesame street.

then a reoccurring (but not staring) role on Gullah Gullah Island.

1998. She’s 10.

lands a role on Broadway opposite Leon Thomas III as Nala in The Lion King. 

this is the jumping-off point of her career. where it really shot off

but ignoring that for a minute...

Eevee has 5 other siblings.

4 of them are alive.

when Eevee was 15 she’d just gotten season 1st ( and eventually only ) season of her Disney show renewed and she had a stalker. on her 16th birthday, the stalker snuck into her sweet 16, cornered her when she and her older, brother Elias were alone, stabbed Elias, and kidnapped Eevee. Elias was rushed to the hospital when they found him but died shortly after.  They found Eevee, recovered her from the stalker unharmed, but when she asked about Elias... shortly after Eevee sunk deeper into her depression, and also suffered from survivors’ guilt and eventually had to stay in a mental hospital and was released a year later, a few days after her 17th birthday. being in the real world was hard for her and in a few weeks time, became legally emancipated from her parents because her father had taken control of monitoring her finances, her decisions, and became too controlling of her schedule and time out of his concern for her and her mother acted like none of it happened and expected Eevee to pick up where she left off and to get more jobs and keep working. It was an environment detrimental to her health and sanity so she had to get out of that and got her own place and moved away from her parents and unfortunately, her twin sister and younger brother.

Took a break from acting to finish high school.

had to have private tutors

excelled at the school aspect of her life.

had very few friends but she did have a girlfriend.

eventually, Eevee broke up with her

to seize her 5 minutes of fame she outted Eevee as a lesbian to TMZ.

It didn’t take long for Eevee to speak out.

At 17, in 2005, Eevee came out publically as Bisexual.

as a Black 17-year-old girl she was proud of herself.

but it did not go well for her in the media or in magazines.

didn’t help what little career she had left.

but she also kinda didn’t care

Became known for outspoken activism for LGBTQ+ youth.

Started her own charity and outreach program to finance and help struggling youth in the LGBTQ+ community by providing them with shelter, food, and treatment for health issues both mental and physical.  

went to college...

Northwestern State University.

joined the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority

double-majored in theater and business

got married to one of her best friends at one point to help him out with his financial situation.

graduated with degrees. 

and real friends in and out of her sorority.

WORKED HER ASS OFF TO GET HER CAREER BACK ON TRACK.

it took a lot of hard work.

a lot of mediocre jobs.

a lot of auditions. 

a lot of shmoozing & playing the long game.

she pulled every single string

cashed every single favor

ate a lot of shit.

including going to her mother whom she hadn’t spoken to in six years.

EVENTUALLY ROSE BACK TO THE A-LIST WITH A VENGENCE.

Several Independent Films.

Supporting roles in TV shows.

Supporting roles in a few movies.

Starring roles in a number of pilots that never got greenlit.

Starring roles in 2 tv shows. 

one was canceled the first season.

the other had THREE SEASONS.

won an Emmy

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

landed a few ad campaigns

Eevee went back to Broadway a few times over the years.

Bring It On: The Musical

played Danielle

won a tony

Best Featured Actress in a Musical.

Newsies: The Musical

played Katherine.

dream come true.

Hadestown

played Eurydice.

nominated for a Tony.

The Lion King

played adult Nala.

life coming full circle.

Currently stars in her own Netflix show. 

season 2 just finished filming which is why she has moved to Portland.

PERSONALITY:

very much a complete dork. loves video games, loves comic books, has a lot of memorabilia all through her house, it’s practically a dork museum, always telling puns. always joking. always been an adorable ray of sunshine. she really likes to be a light and enforce positivity for her friends and others.

talks far too much for her own good especially when she’s nervous.

very kind, generous, and loving, always willing to help a friend.

always willing to cook for someone as a way to comfort them. She’s a well-versed home chef and an excellent baker.

she’s in-between the vodka aunt and the mom friend. she’s the first to suggest doing shots and getting fucked up, but she’ll also make sure everyone’s okay and be responsible.

She’s that friend who if you fuck with one of her friends in any way she will go into protective mamma bear mode and straight-up end that person for you. if you need someone to back you up in a fight, literally, and have your back she is your girl.

she isn’t great at flirting or really being around anyone she finds attractive, she turns into a rambling, nonstop talking, pile of adorable.

up until the end of December last year, she was a virgin. She’s only ever slept with one person so she’s not really the sleep around kind of girl but respects those who do, you do you boo, but also please don’t mistake her for a relationship type girl either. she’s neither. she’s great at fooling around and hookups that usually stop before they get to the sex part. she’s actually just very awkward when it comes to intimacy and feelings and getting close to people in that way. It fucks with her anxiety so she just needs someone who can get her out of her head and that is very hard to find for her.

She’s a feminist and believes women should be there to support each other, but also is aware that feminism isn’t always equal and some women don’t include her as a woman to support because she is a woman of color and because she’s Black and will call someone out on their white feminist or anti-black bullshit.

she’s kind but is in no way a pushover. she’s very opinionated and steadfast and isn’t afraid to reason with someone and argue with them and stand up for herself.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS:

Friends: people who can put up with her non-stop chatter and find it endearing.

Fake Friends: people who are using her for fame, recognition and what her name can do for them.

Crushes: could be one-sided, could be both-sided, let’s talk about it.

Boxing Friendship: sparing partners, or someone who sees her at the boxing gym in her workout outfits that include but is not limited to color-coordinated custom gloves, that match both her outfit, her shoes, her gym bag and the giant cheerleading bow on the top of her high ponytail,  but has never actually stuck around to see her box so don’t believe she can throw an actual punch because they can’t take that seriously, because she’s just a pretty little celebrity what can she actually do, but then one day end up in an argument with her and challenge her to a sparring match and to their surprise kicks their ass and they become sparring partners. I don’t know, clearly I haven’t given that plot much thought.

Step-family member: Eevee doesn’t have a relationship with her mom, but she is aware the woman got married to another woman who has kids when Eevee was 19 or so. She’s never met any of them. Never spoken to any of them. Never been invited to family functions. Knows full well they exist and they know full well she exists and they have actually hung out with other members of her family, just not her. So that sounds like awkward and traumatic fun for all involved right?? Bring the angst.

Fellow Actors: They could be real friends, could be fake friends, could have worked together, could just know of each other, could be a publicity friendship, dude, I don’t know.

Fans / Haters: like her work or don’t like her work???????????? I don’t know I’m just throwing stuff out there at this point.

I don’t know we’ll figure something out, I AM PUMPED AND EXCITED!!

#pb:intro #pb:ooc #death tw #depression tw #murder tw #stalker tw #kidnapping tw

[skippyv20]

MM ANON ....

Merry Christmas to riddle virtuoso MM ANON, our favorite hostess Skippy, and to all anons!

an unwelcome intrusion ……… “ and it was all going so well” ……

Sounds to me like the intrusion has already happened, so I’m going with PP falling ill today which definitely intruded on their holiday plans which had been going so well. PP had arrived early at Sandringham to start up the festivities. Prayers and all the best to PP.

Or did they find a bug?

“ sweeping the the whole bloody house!! “……

Something suspicious has necessitated searching the entire estate for cleverly planted bugs — listening devices, hidden cameras, microphones, transmitters, etc.

fun and games ………C&G play charades …… Def-Con 4…… “ my little Pony”…… mini scrambler,🏍Wow!!……

Of course the kids will be playing lots of holiday fun and games like charades, “My Little Pony,” riding dirtbikes and ponies and for the adults Def-Con 4 a real time strategy video game and later game bird shooting.

Def Con also stands for DEFense CONdition and denotes the military readiness of the US. DEFCON 4 means there is increased intelligence-gathering and heightened security measures. DEFCON 5 is the normal peacetime baseline of readiness.

“grouse for the grown-ups”……

On the Christmas dinner menu is the famous red grouse, a Scottish plump game bird, a great delicacy considered by many to be a virtually sublime food of the gods. Traditionally people go to Rules Restaurant in London (the oldest game serving restaurant) for roasted grouse and “the diners wait in quivering anticipation” for this dish. Wow! That’s some endorsement! They say the game birds may contain some lead shot but it’s a risk most gourmet diners are willing to take.

Grouse is game for grownups only. Beginners may start out with quail which is considered very tame. Intermediate “gamers” eat partridge and pheasant. Advanced gamers indulge in wood pigeon and wild mallard but grouse is only for the hardcore.

Apparently it smells. It smells of wild and wind and decay. It smells before you cook it, while it’s cooking and even after you’ve eaten it. It’s extremely expensive and tastes slightly bitter and picking the bones properly may leave you with blood red juices dripping down your chin.                                                                                                   (cuisinefiend)

“dial it back ma’am?”……”

Just yesterday LG told HMTQ to go “up a gear ma’am” which I took to mean to be more forceful in her Christmas speech and now today he’s saying the opposite to “dial it back” (though questioningly) perhaps after realizing just how many people will be tuning in.

“150 million expected ma’am”……

LG telling HMTQ how many people are expected to be watching her Christmas Message this year, while last year only 6.3 million tuned in.

 “dial it back ma’am?”……”

Or this could be LG checking in with the Queen as to whether the dinner is perhaps a tad too extravagant serving expensive grouse (each bird is shot individually in the wild) (and they’re the supreme shooting challenge flying up to 70 mph) and all.

what happens in Sandringham, stays in Sandringham”……

This is their private celebration with trusted family members and whomever the Queen wants to include so they are free to relax and be themselves.

“Charles, see to the RPOs”……

Q to PC to check on the Royal Protection Officers and make sure they have everything they need and are well taken care of.

“ night before Christmas, and all round the house “…………

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round the house was a ring of security, a ring of steel, the house may practically be in lockdown.

Great Expectations!!

This could express a hope for PH to have a positive transformation like the character Pip did at the end of Dickens “Great Expectations.”

And there could also be great and exciting expectations for all of the RF members to have a wonderful Christmas, a fun holiday season and to have a fantastic New Year with a fresh slate for 2020 and the start of a prosperous new decade.

And to be MM free!

Total speculation, of course.

Thank you!  This is wonderful!  Much appreciated😊❤️❤️❤️❤️

[atc74]

The Little Details

Square(s) Filled: Amnesia for @spnkinkbingo, Ice Cream Date for @spnfluffbingo2019 and Hunt Gone Wrong for BTZ Bingo

Warnings: Angst, head injury, amnesia, Sad!Dean, Worried!Dean, fluffy finish, implied sexy times

Summary: On a hunt gone wrong, the reader is injured and doesn’t remember her family. 

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2700 even!

Written for: @spnkinkbingo, @spnfluffbingo2019, BTZ Bingo, and @alleiradayne‘s Supernatural Songs and Stories Challenge. My prompt was:  Hypnotized, I’m shakin’ to my knees from Def Leppard’s Hysteria. I don’t think I won the fake internet points, but I am proud of this anyway!

Beta’d by: @hannahindie, the best cheerleader ever 

A/N: Webster’s defines hysteria as: an uncontrollable outburst of emotion or fear, often characterized by irrationality, laughter, weeping, etc.

Also, italics indicate memories. 

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker for a new fan experience!

“Hey, Sweetheart. Welcome back,” Dean looked down at Y/N in his arms as he carried her to their room in the Bunker. Dean walked into the room and set her down gently on the bed. “How’re’ya feeling? Gave us quite the scare.”

Y/N looked around the room, taking in her surroundings. She looked back up at Dean, a soft smile on his face. “Where am I and who are you?”

The smile fell as she spoke to him. Dean had feared the worse when she had been attacked by the werewolf. The beast had taken out the brunt of its frustration on her, focusing on the weaker link. Y/N was no weakling, but next to the Winchesters, she was the lesser threat. The wolf grabbed her and threw her, her head hitting the wall with a dull smack, her lifeless body sliding down the wall and slumping to the floor.

Sam stopped short of their room when he heard her questions. He moved slowly, coming to stand side by side with his brother.

“My name is Sam Winchester. This is my brother Dean,” Sam crouched down, trying to make himself appear smaller next to his longtime friend. “You’re home, Y/N.”

“I don’t-I don’t know you,” she stammered out. Fear shook her and tears fell from her eyes. “What happened to me?”

“You were in an accident, Y/N. You hit your head pretty hard,” Dean spoke up, joining his brother on his knees next to the bed. “How does it feel?”

“Hurts, I guess,” she said hesitantly, her hand coming up to rub the back unconsciously.

“Yeah, I bet it does,” Sam said with a light chuckle. “I’ll get you something for the pain. Anything else I can get you? Water, maybe a snack?”

“Yes, please. I’m starving,” she smiled at the two strangers. She didn’t know why, but she felt comfortable, safe even. She shouldn’t. She didn’t know these men. They could hurt her if they wanted. But something inside her said they were not a threat.

“I bet you wanna get cleaned up, huh?” The shorter, green eyed one asked. Dean, she thought his name was. She nodded her reply. “Come on. I’ll show you.” He grabbed a change of clothes and a towel before leading her down the hall.

“Thank you, Dean,” she turned to him as he was leaving.

“Anything for you, Sweetheart,” he winked and smiled, leaving her alone in the large room.

Freshly showered and comfortable in the too large clothes that Dean had given her, she shuffled back the way they had come, forgetting what room she had been in. The gold numbers shined at her as she walked past each door. She kept walking but stopped when she reached room eleven. She couldn’t explain it, but It felt familiar, like Dean. She entered the room to find him sitting at the old desk.

“Sam says you should eat before you take the pills. Something about narcotics and an empty stomach,” he shrugged handing her the plate containing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, sans crust, and a sliced apple.

“You cut the crust off…” she looked down at the sandwich, then back up, meeting Dean’s gaze.

“Yeah. You always say the crust tastes like sawdust, so…” he made a chopping motion with his hand. “Eat then get some rest.”  He made to leave but she stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Please, stay,” her voice wavered but her eyes never left his. “I feel like I know you, but I can’t remember. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. It’ll take some time,” Dean urged her to sit down and eat. Once she was settled, he brought her the bottle of water. He set up his laptop with one of her favorite movies, Gone With The Wind.  “I’ve got a couple things I need to take care of and shower. I promise, I’ll be back.”

“Pinky promise?” She held up her little finger and he hooked it with his own.

“Pinky promise,” he repeated. “Wait...why did you just say that? Do you remember doing this with me before?”

“It’s just something I’ve always... I don’t know why I said it. I just felt like it was something I would say,” she said, her eyes wide. “Did we do this?”

“Yeah, about a million times,” he chuckled, trying to push the pain down for her sake. “I’ll be back in a bit. Eat and try to rest, huh?” He grabbed a change of clothes for himself and left the room, not turning to see her staring after him.

His footsteps echoed down the hall as he headed toward the library. Sam sat at one of the tables, his laptop open and reading intently.

“So does she remember anything?” Sam asked his brother. Dean reached for a bottle of the good stuff and took a seat.

“Nothing, Sam. She doesn’t remember me, you, or this place,” Dean spoke in a hushed voice, scared she’d overhear them. “She made me pinky promise though.”

“That is something Y/N does, Dean. That’s a good sign,” Sam told him excitedly. “I’ve been reading up on amnesia and some things that could help. There are some simple home therapies we can try. Movies, food, smells, being intimate...all the things she enjoyed before the accident. We’ll get through this Dean. I know we will.”

“I can’t do that Sam! She told me once that she only felt whole, when we were, you know...but right now it would be non-consensual and I can’t think about that, not right now. So I hope you’re right, Sammy, because I can’t lose her, not like this,” Dean sniffed, draining the glass he poured. “I’ve gotta shower and get back. She didn’t want me to leave.”

Dean took a quick shower and changed into his night clothes. He tossed his dirty ones in the laundry room on his way back to his room. He could hear the movie running and stopped just outside the doorway, leaning against the frame. Even tired and beat up, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever met. She was strong, fierce and loyal. She was crazy smart, funny and generous. She could give him a run for his money sparing or at the gun range, but she loved rom-coms and old movies. She was raised in the life, just like him and his brother, and she fit from the moment they met. They fit.

“How’s the movie?” Dean asked as he walked into the room.

“Wonderful. I’ll never get tired of seeing this movie,” she replied wistfully as she watched the scene play out on the screen.

“I know. I’ve watched it at least a dozen times with you, but I always fall asleep,” Dean admitted as he grabbed a pillow and an extra blanket from the closet, tossing them on the floor next to the bed.

“What are you doing?” She asked, watching his movements.

“You wanted me to stay, right?” Dean asked and she nodded. “Well, you take the bed and I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Dean, this is your room, right? I can’t take the bed from you. We’re adults and we can share without it being weird,” she reasoned.

“Y/N, I can’t do that. Your injury-you don’t remem-” Dean started.

“No, I don’t remember you and I’m sorry. But I can feel you,” she confessed, holding her hand to her chest, over her heart. “In here, I can feel that you mean something to me and from the look on your face, it’s not one sided. We’re together, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we are. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Sweetheart,” Dean met her gaze.

“Then come lay with me. Tell me about us,” she offered her hand to him and he took it in his, climbing into the bed with her.

For hours, they lay facing each other, while Dean told her story after story. It wasn’t until the sounds of her even breathing filled the room, that he stopped talking. He switched out the light and rolled to his back.

A week had gone by and still nothing was coming back for Y/N. They tried everything they could think of, short of hunting. Her favorite foods, books, movies. It was when Sam was researching that an idea hit him.

“Dean!” Sam bellowed from the Library.  

“Did you find something?” Dean asked hopefully.

“Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know, it might be a long shot,” Sam offered. “You remember me telling you about this machine the Men of Letters had that they used to break into someone’s thoughts?”

Dean stood in front of his brother shaking his head. “No, Sam. I’m not putting her through that.”

“Not her Dean. You,” Sam pointed out. “We’ll hook you up to the machine and let her in your head. She should be able to see your memories. Memories of the two of you. Maybe it will spark something,” Sam theorized.

“Y/N, this might seem weird, but we think it might help regain your memories,” Sam explained as he hooked her and Dean up to the ‘mind melder’ as Dean referred to it.

“What does it do?” She asked Sam, her eyes locked on Dean next to her.

“Tests have proven that one can see another’s thoughts, or in this case memories,” Sam told her. “Dean will go through his memories of the two of you…”

“I’m gonna play our greatest hits, Sweetheart, and you’ll be able to see them, too,” Dean smiled, holding her hand in his as Sam finished placing the electrodes.

“Okay, you two ready?” Sam asked.

“Yep,” they answered in unison and Sam flipped the switches on the machine.

Dean and Y/N sat side by side, hand in hand. He closed his eyes and she followed suit.

“What do you think you’re doing here? This is my hunt, go find your own,” the spitfire growled. Her face was splattered with blood from the vamp she had just beheaded. Before Dean could come up with his typical smart ass comment, she pushed him to the side, taking out another blood sucker before he got the drop on Dean.

“You saved me,” Dean uttered, mesmerized by this woman.

“Even men can be the damsel in distress, Prince Charming,” she winked and wiped the blood of her face with the sleeve of her jacket.

Sam watched with curiosity as Y/N’s face scrunched up, wondering what Dean was remembering for her. As he kept vigil, her face softened.

“Where are we going, Dean?” She asked impatiently, tugging at his hand as he kept driving.

“You said you wanted ice cream,” he reminded her.

“You just drove past at least three ice cream places, including a Dairy Queen and a Baskin Robbins!” She practically shouted at him.

“Oh Sweetheart, thirty-one flavors’s got nothing on this place,” he smirked but kept driving through town until he came to a stop in front of a small store.

“Dean, I count thirty-two flavors total,” Y/N scowled at Dean.

“It’s not the quantity that matters, Y/N. It’s the quality. Take a look at some of these flavors,” Dean glanced up at the colorful, handwritten board, pulling her close to him with an arm around her waist. “Guinness, Summit Oatmeal Stout, they even have one made with your favorite. Listen to this: A dark brown sugar and creme fraiche ice cream with Jameson Irish Whiskey and Disaronno Originale amaretto to help you contemplate the incomprehensible, all mixed with praline pecan pieces and a crunchy cashew brittle. Sound right up your alley.”

“Ice cream and whiskey on the first date?” She smiled up at him. “You’re gonna spoil me, Prince Charming.”

“That’s kinda the idea, Sweetheart,” he smiled back down at her.

Both Dean and Y/N licked their lips and he thought maybe Dean’s memory had been about food, or beer, or both. He smiled as he got up and made his way to the kitchen, hopeful that this would work. Returning a few minutes later with coffee and an apple, he sat back down.

“You’re my better half, the Plant to my Page. I’ve never searched out love because I knew how it would end for me. But you literally almost took my head off and I have been in love with you since day one. I can’t imagine living this life with anyone else, Y/N. Will you marry me?” Dean asked, down on one knee and his eyes wet from the tears he had shed.

Y/N seemed emotionally moved by something, her hand flew to her mouth and tears were streaming from her face. She didn’t appear to be in distress and Sam knew better than to disturb the process, so he ignored his pick-me-up and watched her intently, looking for any signs he should pull the plug.

Another few minutes passed as Sam twiddled his thumbs. A smile broke out on both their faces and tears streaming from their eyes.

“What is this? It’s not my birthday, or our anniversary, Sweetheart,” Dean shook the little box in his large hands. “Is today some little anniversary that I am missing? And how much trouble am I in?

“Just open the box cowboy,” she giggled and bounced on the balls of her feet, trying and failing to contain her own excitement.

Dean ripped through the paper and took the top off the box. Moving the tissue paper aside, his eyes went wide. “Are you serious?” Her head bobbed and he knew it was a dream come true.

Inside the box was a the tiniest pair of knitted cowboy boots he had ever seen and a card.

“This little buckaroo has the best daddy ever!”

Tears filled Dean’s eyes as he embraced his wife, a hand placed gently on her stomach where their baby was growing.

Dean was the first to open his eyes and signaled Sam to turn off the machine. He flipped the switches while Dean disconnected the electrodes from Y/N, then his own. She slowly opened her eyes.

A fit of laughter erupted from her lips as tears continued running down her cheeks. She threw herself into Dean’s arms. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

“This might be hysteria, Dean. Her emotions are all over the place,” Sam commented, observing the pair.

“Yes, I am Sam. I am hysterical,” she replied, looking up into Dean’s eyes before dropping to her knees. He body shook uncontrollably from laughter and tears at the same time. “I’m hypnotized by this man...my husband. The father of my child...I’m shakin’ to my knees. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to remember, cowboy.”

“Oh my god. I’ve never been so happy to hear you call me that,” Dean pulled her into his arms, crushing her to his chest.

“You’re pregnant? I’m gonna be an uncle?” Sam was stunned.

“Yeah, Sammy, you are,” she smiled, pulling away from Dean, his arms wrapping around her waist to rest on her belly.

“And no more craziness in the field, Mama,” Dean reminded her.

“Oh no. I think I’ve learned my lesson on that one. As of right now, I am officially a stay-at-home-mom,” she smiled up at her husband. “When we first got home, why didn’t you tell me we were married when I asked if we were together? Or tell me that I was pregnant?”

“I think it would have just added unnecessary stress to the situation. Besides, you already knew that we were together, the little details didn’t matter much until you were healthy,” Dean shrugged, kissing her gently.

“But it’s the little details that brought me back,” she kissed him back, hungry for her husband. “Thank you for sharing those with me. They mean so much more now that I have seen them from your point of view.”

“Come on,” he tugged at her hand, pulling her down the hall to their room. “I’ve missed my wife and now that you’re back, we’ve got some catching up to do!”

“Saddle up cowboy!” She shouted as Dean slammed the door behind them.

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @cherrycokegirls1 @closetspngirl  @roxyspearing @flamencodiva @blacktithe7 @sis-tafics @just-another-busyfangirl @evansrogerskitten @amanda-teaches @hannahindie @wotinspntarnation @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @kickingitwithkirk  @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @mogaruke @gh0stgurl @paintrider13-blog @hunterscabin @luci-in-trenchcoats

The Dean’s List: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon @maddiepants @supernatural-jackles @docharleythegeekqueen @adoptdontshoppets @mtngirlforever

BTZ Gang: @pinknerdpanda  @chelsea072498 @katymacsupernatural

#spnkinkbingo #spnfluffbingo2019 #btz bingo #alleirasSPNSongsAndStoriesChallenge #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic

[jq37]

Ok last one. What's the tea on Prompocalypse?

So...that was something, huh?

This is gonna be quick and dirty (relatively speaking, it’s still too long already as I come back and make this edit) because I have work tomorrow and there are def stuff I want to talk about more and I will (esp if I get asks) but I have work in the morning so let’s just get some words onto the screen aight.

The episode titles have had a pretty consistent naming scheme up until this point so the one word, non alliterative title had me at a 7 on the foreboding scale before we even started.

Everyone was in prom wear! And lol, Siobhan is the only one in a dress. That's almost exactly what I pictured Adaine wearing to prom. That exact shade of blue-green. And Emily looks like a waiter. 

I wonder what Bren's plan was for if they'd thwarted the crowning entirely. Got baller initiative, some nat 20's on crown keepaway and smashing, and killed Penelope/Dayne before the bad guys could finish them. Would he just try to crown someone else or would the curb stompage have stood? Not that Goldenhoard would have been a pushover I imagine but jeez. He couldn't have been as strong as his true form.

Sidenote: One of my favorite little character things is Zac and Siobhan helping each other do math.

Fig dimension dooring Gorgug to the stage and then skateboarding away. Amazing.

"I'm going for her crown vs. his crown."/"In this climate?"

OK, shoutout to Zac fo asking for those bombs because they are OP as hell. 

I love how they just charged in and started trying to kill people, no questions asked, no explaining themselves to the other students, just bombs out immediately. 

My man Riz just couldn't catch a break. I understand the out of story reason the police haven't shown up is that Murph was rolling garbage, but what's taking them so long in story? Where? Is? Sklonda?

"I'm going to jump on the back of the Hangman."/”Presumptuous."

But also, by the end of the fight he's just like, "Do anything any party member tells you to!"

Lou losing it over Riz claiming best friend status. But damn, they kinda are the closest to each other in the party. Wild. 

"You know what baby girl? Why don't you ready an action until I get there," said Siobahn to Ally, hilariously for a number of reasons. 

They keep saying Teen Wolf and I have no idea what part of the movie they're referring to. This is the second ep in a row.

Lou trying to recruit a super sad Ragh.

They started off this fight really strong. Doing double digit damage and rolling over 20s. I was like, "Damn, they've leveled up. They're doing great!" Of course, we were still in the first third of the ep so I didn't know where we were going. But Lou was right. "Wild first turn."

"And then I shoot him."

I'm half convinced Riz jinxed everyone by saying, "Remember the corn fight?"

Kristen cast ONE spell and then said, "I don't have a lot of spells left." THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY AND SAVE ADAINE'S WORTHLESS FAMILY. YOU ARE THE HEALER. YOU NEED ALL YOUR SPELLS.

The students running to get food on the way out. Mood.

They messed Dayne *up*. This was the high point of the battle, objective-wise.

Sidenote, why would Dayne have needed to be at the Seacaster Manor raid? It feels dumb to ris him when he was such an important part of things. Was it literally just because he didn't like Fabian? And he disliked him enough to try and kill his parents? Yeesh.

Kirsten @ Ragh flipping out over Dayne: I see what's going on here.

Ragh really made this fight harder than it had to be. If Gorgug hadn't been grappled before Penelope got the crown they might have had a fighting chance.

So Penelope just straight up let what's her face (Sam I think) get palimpsested? Major yikes. Like I know it's a good thing they killed her but I kinda wish they hadn't so we could learn exactly what the insane thought process was there. She comes off as crazier than Biz because Biz was trapping girls he didn't respect, not his actual friends, you know? Like, did Goldenhoard say he was gonna make her an actual queen or something? Because all this isn't worth just being prom queen.

"Sometimes you make a villain and they die in the first two rounds," said Brennan, as if he didn't know what he was about to unleash on the party. Geez, I don't know how long they would have survived if Penelope and Dayne had been in play for a large chunk of the fight.

Murph's idea to blind him was a good one.

I almost was like, "Thank God Gorthalax got kidnapped," because that was the only good explanation for him seemingly ditching Fig.

Ally: Was that his best friend? (Emily: What./Siobahn: NO.)

"I'm like an advertisement for chicken."/"What chicken adverts are you watching?"/"It's like if you went to prom and there was a dangling chicken leg."/"What prom did you go to?"

Fabian full on clocking Penelope in the face like he's playing Punch Out.

"I killed my father today. Yes."

"This is against the rules but I don't care." In hindsight, this feels like foreshadowing.

"Well, that's the risk you take when you go to Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

"Get on the fucking right team!"

Lou (a la Gimli): And *my* D6.

Brennan pulling out that GIANT final form Goldenhoard figure.

For some reason, it didn't occur to me that he'd be just a legit dragon in his true form. I was picturing like the lich from Adventure Time or something.

Also, I was kinda expecting him to "Drop the act," and majorly change in personality but he was basically the same. Just a dick.

Gorgug rolls a 4. Brennan pauses for a second. The entire party: No.

Zac goes all in every time no matter how dumb it is. I love him.

"Father, stop this."/"What?"

"Not clever enough for the library and not brave enough for the world." Oww, I felt that one. Did Brennan have that waiting to use or did he come up with it on the spot because that was brutal.

Goldenhoard goes through the whole party, trying to hit their weakest point and he gets what might have been a great hit on Fig (You're so unloveable your father would rather go to hell than stay with you.) but she just says, "You have got to stop flirting with me," and completely diffuses the moment. As unflappable as Brennan is, he had to take a sec to jump back into the insult parade after that.

"I'm going to eat you."/"OH MY GOD."/"I'm not making it sexual!"

"*The* ball, bitch."

OK, I was wondering what the deal was with Riz's dad. Because giving him that gun implies a chance to kill his dad's killer but I didn't think it could be Goldenhoard directly because of the binding. That's another point towards Riz being the one to finish him off.

Wild that they weren't able to get any of the kids (save Ragh eventually) to help them with the fight. You go to adventuring school! Cowards! You would never make it at Sunnydale and that school was mostly normals!

The one dude still just getting food while Goldenhoard has turned into a full on dragon.

When an 18 wasn't a high enough roll for Fig to make her fear check, that's when I realized my earlier apprehension wasn't misplaced. I mean, maybe it should have been when he turned into a dragon but it is what it is.

But Fig skating away and then going, "Just kidding bitch," because she got it on the very next turn was hilarious.

Kristen still not being 100% on whether Ragh is gay or not.

Who was gonna kick Ragh off the team for being gay? Maybe Daybreak would have but Gorthalax def wouldn't have. Maybe he means he would have been bullied off?

Siobahn to Kristen/Ally: Stop outing students.

I can't believe Gorgug had to kiss Ragh in the middle of this fight to get his head in the game.

Also, I didn't get into it before because I knew this scene was coming but poor Ragh. Like, I could have told him things were gonna go this way and he's a big dummy for thinking otherwise, but poor dude. And then he finally gets it together and he gets wrecked.

"EMILY, I SOMETIMES CAN'T TELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING WITH ME OR NOT."

Siobhan doing the D&D equivalent of reminding the teacher they had homework.

The amount of dice that Brennan rolled for Goldenhoard was truly horrifying. That's permadeath damage.

AND HE GOT THE HEALER DOWN FIRST. This was the next moment I started sensing a TPK.

"HOMOPHOBE!"/"You hit both of the gay ones!"

Kristen taking damage from Goldenhoard's libertarian speech.

I find it such a Fig move to be like, "Can I use charm person to snap Adaine out of it," instead of the spell actually made for that purpose. 

Rolling low perception and getting no information is the worst because then it's like...OK I know something's out there but what dammit?

When Brennan said Fig would have to do opposed athletics against Adaine, that was the first time I was like, "Oh thank God she's so weak."

Murph forgetting to uncanny dodge until midway through the ep was uncharacteristic. Really shows how wild the fight was. 

"This kid likes to get his ass beat to a soundtrack."

Fabian refusing to just use the stairs like a normal person. 

Penelope going, "What's your deal?" like she's not helping an evil dragon who wants to rule the world. 

JAWBONE

JAWBONE JAWBONE JAWBONE

My man Jawbone shot way up on the list of cool adults today.

For real, the scene with Jawbone and Adaine was my second favorite moment of the episode and it would have been my favorite if not for a bit of divine intervention later. 

I already made a post about this but Jawbone notices Adaine flipping the hell out and he asks her if she has panic attacks and if her parents gave her any meds for it. She responds in, like, the smallest, most broken and defeated voice with a tiny head shake, "My parents just left and I don't know where they are." Gah, my heart. She was half crying. I was half awake and being kicked in the face with the full force of human emotion. It was a lot. I felt like I was a kid watching that one scene from Fresh Prince again but British-er. She gets that her parents suck and she hates them but she's 14. Everyone wants their parents to love them. It's like in our DNA.

And then Jawbone launches into the wildest motivational speech ever (including all of Kristen's, which is saying a lot) which starts with him sucking off a border patrol agent. (You understand me?/No!)

Ally, MVP of Terrible Speeches: *That* was the point?

Siobhan trying not to crack up and break character throughout that whole scene was great.

I love that Brennan was clearly trying to not encourage people to mess with their med dosage irl because he was very specific about that but also he was like, "A dragon is about to end the world so please shotgun this bottle of magic Xanax and hop on that bike."

I love that Adaine has all the magic stuff in her inventory and then also Xanax.

Aww, Jawbone offered to let her live with him because her house burned down. (I guess that info was on the news?)

And then Adaine rolls a 20 with the help from her meds (and buffs) right away! It's great when the dice cooperate.

"I came here to FUCK SHIT UP. And help children."

"Jawbone rules. I'm so glad we helped him get his life together."

Jawbone is such a sketch person but such a good counselor.

Siobhan calling Goldenhoard and absolute fucking unit sayed be at 5 in the morning when I watched this.

"I AM A CHILD. YOU ARE ATTACKING A BUNCH OF CHILDREN YOU COWARD."

"Then why is your dick out?" Adaine joining in Fig w/ the taunting Goldenhoard via accusations of flirting. 

"Why are you guys partially singed?"/"Because he's been attacking us Dad! Also Dad, he kind of used to come on to me all the time."

"Play the drums more and we'll have a full band on stage!"/"...Instead."

"You ruined prom!"/"I RUINED PROM?"

At this point I was thinking, "Geez, there's not a lot of episode left and Penelope isn't even dead yet. How could they possibly defeat Goldenhoard AND have time for tying up loose ends?" TPK vibes increase.

Adaine getting a nat 20 on Arcana, "Yeah it is what it is. You're screwed."

Hell yeah for Adaine giving Goldenhoard her low divination roll to ensure her lightning bolt hit. Not that it ended up mattering that much but still. Sick.

"Well you could have told me before this very moment!"/"I was dead!"

I just checked on the stats of an an adult red dragon in 5E and it's got 256 HP. 256! And look at the other stats! They're wild.

"This is the number of dice?"/"Yeah."/"God."

Fig goes down. Their secondary healer. So, not good. Very not good.

Brennan letting Emily burn Goldenhoard's tie as she passes out because Emily refuses to do nothing.

And Riz goes down too! The one with the med kit! At this point I was like, there is no way this can end well.

"How far away is the hospital?" I love it when they try just normal solutions in this magic game like calling their parents and going to the hospital.

It is an hour and 47 minutes into the episode before Adaine remembers she's wearing a magic coat that can make her anything (within reason). Which, to be fair, it took me a little bit too but, in my defense, I'm not staring at her character sheet.

Real talk, I didn't think she was gonna get anything from the jacket from that ask. Something to beat Kalvaxis is such a big ask.

When Brennan started going into the jacket stuff I was like, this is a really weird deus ex machina if that's what this is. But also, the kids have been hilariously chill with just having Adaine walk around in a jacket filled with people.

There was a lot to unpack there and I'll got to it in another post but I can't do another 4k epic this week y'all. I have work in the morning.

Adaine yelling for Basrar to get them their ice cream before they freaking die.

Aww Gorthalax tried to heal Fig instead of attacking.

"Daddy that was a waste of a turn."

Gorgug who has a million hit points went down and all the healers are down. There are less than ten minutes left in the episode. TPK for sure, I'm thinking.

Adaine flipping people off with a vengeance today.

Also the fact that she totally forgot that she could ask for a healing potion which is totally a thing that she almost def would have been able to get is hilarious. I mean it wouldn't have been as funny if the episode ended differently but, as it stands, hilarious.

"Does the Hangman know medicine?"

"What about this student? Is he studying to be a cleric?"

Adaine is down. That's everyone down but Fabian. Three and a half minutes left. And that's when I realize. There's not enough time for a good ending, but there's not enough time for a bad ending either. But there's no S2. This is an anthology series. What's going on here my sleepy 6am brain is saying.

Fig giving her dad bardic inspiration while passed out because Emily is Emily.

Everyone (exceptt Riz) was making their saves. I'm thinking, "Is next season different characters, same setting. Maybe a bunch of years in the future? Legacy characters?" I'm trying to put together the fact that this is the finale with 2 minutes left with the fact that they're playing different characters next season. The pieces aren't fitting. 

And that's because I couldn't have predicted what was about to happen.

Ally, clearly joking says, "Can I roll for a nat 20 and just be alive?"

Brennan, barely thinking, says, "Sure, go for it," as casually as if he was okaying a perception check.

Murph and Lou are cracking up at the absurdity of the ask. 

Ally says, "This is to the corn god," half solem, half smiling.

Siobhan holds her hand over the dice like she's blessing them.

"I know I left for a while," Ally starts as the dice are cast and...

"NAT 20 MOTHERFUCKER!"

Everyone goes WILD.

Ally punches air.

Brennan looks like someone slapped him.

Emily: You have to rip up your comparative world religions book.

BONUS EPISODE UNLOCKED

And what did we learn today? A 5 percent chance is small, but not insignificant. 

OK, there’s one thing I want to address before I tap out for the night (and it’s not spell checking. I’ll do that in the morning).

I saw some people discussing the possibility that they faked the ending. Like, they just edited it like that to give them another chance because they were all about to die. Beyond the fact that I just trust them to not have done that, the other big reason I don’t think that’s likely is because there was a much more seamless way of stacking the deck in their favor. Brennan could have had Adaine pull literally anything out of her jacket. And I truly mean anything because this is a finale. Even if he gave her something game breaking, it wouldn’t have set a precedent because it’s the last ep. And that’s beyond all the NPCs that could plausibly have come in because they know something is up and teleportation is a thing in this world. Nah, I think that was just good, old fashioned, luck of the roll and thank Helio because they needed it.

OK, that’s it for now! Join me at some point between now and next ep to unpack this because it’s a lot and apparently we have another episode to get through. Hoot growl baby!

#fantasy high #asks #a-salty-alto #spoilers

[thecloserkin]

fic rec: Dante’s Stars by Pretani

fandom: A Series of Unfortunate Events

pairing: Violet Baudelaire/Klaus Baudelaire

word count: 94k, complete

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: Yes

Is it endgame: Yes

Is it shippable: I’m fucking crying it’s so beautiful

Bottom line: The one and only Violet/Klaus epic, read it and bawl your eyes out (def read the warnings first tho)

It’s a canon-divergence AU where the Baudelaires stage their own deaths to escape Count Olaf. In canon the three Baudelaire orphans—inventor Violet, bookworm Klaus, and baby Sunny—are hounded from guardian to guardian by cartoonish villain Olaf, who will stop at nothing to get his hands on their fortune. Olaf murders or incapacitates every single adult who spares two seconds of sympathy for these kids, leaving a wide swathe of destruction in his wake. In this fic the Baudelaires have decided to wipe the slate clean and assume new identities.

I have mentioned in the past how salty I am about the Baudelaires’ characters being sidelined for Snicket the narrator, Olaf the villain, and/or sundry other bit-players (in the Netflix show the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender p much steals every scene they’re in). In canon we’re not really privy to the kids’ inner lives. This fic avoids that pitfall by sticking with tightly focused third-person Violet and Klaus POVs.

The thing this fic does really well is instill a pervasive sense of dread/paranoia which is remarkable because for the first 25% absolutely nothing ominous happens. The orphans get taken in by a slightly addled, very nice old lady and they just … live in her house. For free. While she cooks for them. And every morning Violet and Klaus hook up in her barn.

Ok back up so the ship they’re passengers on goes down in a storm, all hands lost, the Baudelaires are presumed drowned with the rest. Which is positively providential. The first event of any import to occur is that Klaus swipes some cash from a dead man’s wallet. Violet has ethical qualms but Klaus quashes them by pointing out that Sunny’s starving:

”I’d do anything for her,” he said. “Even become a thief or a murderer.”

Then his dark eyes found Violet’s. “I’d do it for you, too.”

So on the one hand I think this is rather extra. I mean, what possible use could a dead man have had for that money? Money that could put actual food in Sunny’s stomach. The Baudelaires are keenly aware that justice does not equal unquestioning obedience to authority and I think their exposure to a raft of tyrannical and unjust authority figures has hammered that home. They’re down with bending the rules because they know the rules are never even-handedly applied anyway (ie. the show trial at Hotel Denouement, the farcical final exam at Prufrock Academy). On the other hand I remember how uneasy they felt about stealing Hal’s keys in Hostile Hospital, and that was barely a misdemeanor! A friend of mine astutely pointed out how Violet is always trying to behave in any given situation the way their parents would have wished, whereas Klaus takes a pragmatic approach: do whatever keeps his sisters safe. And that is a very interesting contrast and one I want to see explored further.

They get on a train. Things that happen: Klaus notices when Violet is down in the dumps or angry or upset or in this case, wistfully jealous of other people who lead “normal” lives, bustling all around them. He’s not in love with her yet but noticing is the first step. Violet atm is super focused on being the elder sister, the adult in the room, the One In Charge. They get off the train and as soon as they blow into town Violet gets catcalled and propositioned. One of the themes of this fic is the horrendous baseline level of violence against women, some of it normalized and casual like the catcalling. The Big Bad Villain of the piece is literally a guy who’s murdered multiple girlfriends on account of them fridging his ass, since he appears to think that women owe him sex. And this man’s driving ambition is to add Violet to his list of conquests.

So often, men treated her as little more than an object … Klaus was different. He saw her, the woman she was inside.

HOW COULD SHE NOT FALL FOR HIM?? Is there another man she could learn to trust enough to fall in love with? However I’m getting ahead of the story. Klaus is still in the phase where he’s awakening to his attraction to Violet:

She was mother and sister, soft skin and tender strength, and he hid his face in her neck. Like a child, she rocked him gently, cradling his head.

I have to protect her, even if it’s from myself.

He couldn’t take this, his brave, beautiful sister, so near … the knowledge of what those men wanted to do to her. I”ll kill them … And what he wanted …

God but it kills me, Klaus thinking that his attraction to Violet is as noxious as those vile men and their rapacious stares. Klaus himself otoh is president of the Violet Baudelaire Fan Club. The contrast could not be more marked. Look at him building her up when she’s about ready to to give up on picking a lock because she’s lost her hair ribbon:

”I’m done, Klaus. I don’t have anything else to give”. ”Vi … “ he was pleading, willing her to believe in herself again, because he did. “You’re a brilliant inventor,” he told her. “It’s who you are. Nothing can take that away. You don’t need your ribbon.”

The unwarranted parallel that he draws between himself and a bunch of sexual predators is the source of so much angst and pining:

Is that what I am? A pervert?

She’ll blame herself for this

Well, well, well, if it isn’t ye olde I’m-Leaving-Her-For-Her-Own-Good-Lest-My-Perverted-Attraction-To-Her-Despoil-Her-Innocence. I am absolute trash for it every time, film at 11.

”I love you, Vi … I’m in love with you.” He said it like he was confessing to a crime, and she wanted to scream, to laugh and cry all at once.

THEIR LOVE IS A CRIME!!! Could these babies be more pure??

They’d always had an extraordinary connection. It was the reason for their seamless partnership, their ability to support one another … But now, the bond that had kept them alive was killing him. How could anything ever be right again?

”Vi, I’m sorry … I want to be your brother, but I can’t … I want to be more than that … I don’t know what to do.” ”Kiss me,” she said, “and be both.”

THATS IT THATS A WRAP I CAN NOW DIE HAPPY. That “kiss me and be both” is PERFECTION.

And she knew she’d never willingly give herself to anyone but him.

she’d loved him even then. Who could tell when they had crossed the line? It was already too late.

cross the line what line??? they were made for each other.

”You know, we missed the sunrise,” he said, nose to nose with his sister.

Violet and Klaus carve an extra hour out of their morning to go make out in the barn. I shit you not these kids spend a whole month without progressing past first base because Klaus doesn’t want to “pressure” Violet into anything she’s not ready for. Violet, for her part, is beginning to suspect there’s something wrong with her person; why hasn’t he even tried to take her top off? Thank you #Patriarchy for teaching us that desirability is the measure of a woman’s worth. God they are so thirsty. This bitch almost fell over the first time he touched her tits:

“Vi,” he spoke into her hair, voice breaking. “Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me to —“ But she only titled her head, to meet his mouth in a feverish kiss.

So Klaus and Sunny are having a snow fight and Violet tugs her glove off to tousle his hair and it’s THE SEXIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN BYE. True story after I read this fic I legitimately thought that “Vi” was a pet name Klaus called her by in canon, and when I finally finished the books much much later and realized that it wasn’t—well, it should have been.

There is a fairy tale about a princess who disguises herself in the skin of a donkey to escape the attentions of her lecherous father the king. Violet and Sunny discuss it. Violet points out that rape is wrong because rape is rape, because it is coercive, not because it’s incest. I love it when fic highlights the fairytale parallels to the Baudelaires’ situation, and I feel like Donkeyskin was such a spot-on choice because it’s all about surviving sexual assault and learning to make oneself vulnerable again afterwards? Klaus is the prince who sees through her disguise and falls head over heels in love with her CHANGE MY MIND. On the subject of happily ever after:

”Is that what you think I want? A fairytale? A walk down the aisle in a white dress?" He felt a lump forming in his throat. "Most girls think about those things, don't they?" "I don't," she told him. "I prefer not to. And as for children…well…I love them. That's why I don't want any of my own … how selfish would I be, to bring another little life into this? Another hostage they could use against us. Imagine how awful it would be if…" She shook her head. "No children… not ever. I couldn't protect them." And she turned to him with a soft look. "It's no sacrifice, Klaus. Not for me. I've already been through a… a wedding, you know." He felt her shudder, and she averted her eyes. "I won't be sorry if I never see another wedding dress again."

My dudes, when you have children each and every one of them is a hostage to fortune because of course they are. Also, Violet’s traumatized by the whole idea of being a bride, after going through the wringer of her fake wedding to Olaf. Olaf put Sunny in a cage to compel her compliance, and that’s what the Big Bad in this fic does too. He says things like “You’re a sick little bitch, aren’t you? Spreading your legs for your own brother” which turns their beautiful relationship into this ugly depraved thing to be ashamed of. I mean, this guy was literally a voyeur who would watch them from his hidey-hole while they were being intimate?? My god I would feel so unclean. And the worst part is, he overheard them calling each other by their real names not their aliases, so now he knows who they are and since the Baudelaires are still on the lamb this is bad. It gets pretty dark pretty fast.

“He won't want you anymore! No one's gonna want you when we're done!"

So he kidnaps and rapes Violet. Klaus and Sunny rescue her, dispatch the villain (Klaus’s earlier “I’d do anything” for his sisters, including becoming “a thief or a murderer,” acquires sudden resonance), and that’s when fucking Count Olaf shows up!!!! These kids just cannot catch a break. Turns out the Big Bad was actually working for Count Olaf all along. Olaf’s plan is still the same plan from The Bad Beginning where he plotted to steal the Baudelaire fortune by marrying Violet. Since Count Olaf has never in his life paid a henchman a salary, he was keeping the Big Bad sweet by promising to let him ravish Violet first. Let the full enormity of that sink in. Oh wait a minute Olaf isalso bent on knocking Violet up asap so the union can’t be dissolved on non-consummation grounds, or somesuch:

"You look at me as if I were a usurper, boy, about to steal something of yours. Tell me…" He gestured at Violet. "Is she yours?"

Why would you do this to me??????? This is so, so painful. Olaf uses an electric cattle prod on Klaus and makes Violet watch??? It’s ok though the Baudelaires prevail in the end, and emerge from the bloodstained ordeal as the family they are. My kink will forever be Violet and Klaus praising each other’s bravery and resourcefulness. They! Are! So! Proud! and! Supportive! Of! Each! Other! This line from earlier in the fic gets me every time:

I’ve failed them. This was his greatest fear, worse than death or any torment fate could devise. In his head, he imagined the struggle, saw his girls beaten and shot, felt each blow and bullet as if his own body were the target instead.

Klaus Baudelaire laying down his own body between the world and his sisters is really the only thing I care about:

And then her gaze fell to the marred canvas of his body.

I bet his back is a mess of burn marks ugh. Four weeks after Violet’s discharged from the hospital (practical Violet made sure to get the green light from the medical professionals) they finally have sex again, which is a relief—after the rape they were both hesitant to initiate sex because she thought she was damaged goods and he thought she wanted space? Silly kids. Oh and and here they are being mistaken by strangers for a pair of lovebirds:

One of the women sighed dreamily. "Did you ever see a more likely pair of turtledoves?" "Of course not," Mr. Poe sputtered, dabbing his brow with a handkerchief. "The very idea!" And he excused himself hurriedly, to make some phone calls. "Don't be silly," said the other. "They're siblings. Haven't you heard? … They're the Baudelaire orphans." "Well, I daresay," the first one went on, "anyone would've taken them for sweethearts."

I CANNOT WITH THESE TWO

The Baudelaires finally, finally come into their fortune free and clear. They put on their parents’ wedding rings and move to Canada. A cat (!!!) leaves baby Beatrice II in a basket outside their front door, and that completes their family. Nobody deserves good things more than these kids, and this fic ends exactly where it ought, describing “a rural life of moral simplicity.”

I read this fic years ago and it was w i l d rereading it again, thanks for coming along for the ride. If anyone wants to scream/cry about this fic in particular, or Violet and Klaus in general, feel free to send me an ask or message me ANYTIME

#fic rec #asoue #violet x klaus #Baudelairecest

[pacman-tattoo]

All odd o:

iM GONNA PUT THIS UNDER A READMORE BC ITS LONG…

   1. What is you middle//full name?

i’m not gonna say my full name for privacy purposes, but my first + middle names are Tristen Mackenzie

   3. What is your birthday?

May 23rd!

   5. What is your favorite color?

aw man like… light pink? dark purple? cerulean blue??? all good.

   7. Do you have any pets?

yes!!!! i have a cat and her name is rose and i love her

   9. How tall are you?

5′3″-ish? i’m not exactly sure

   11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

uh… 3 i think? 5 counting both pairs of character shoes though!

   13. What talents do you have?

as a lot of ppl who follow this blog, i’m pretty good at writing! other than that, i like to think i’m pretty decent at singing and acting, and i draw a lot. other than that??? idk

   15. Favorite song?

i answered this but i’ll just add more: A Soft Place to Land from Waitress

also Teen Idle and Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds!!

   17. Who would be your ideal partner?

alright so like my ideal partner is definitely someone who just loves me for who i am and doesn’t force me to change, y’know? someone supportive who’s kinda ready to take me as i am with all the baggage i have and still loves me in the end but doesn’t take any bullshit? like, they accept i have problems but won’t let said problems excuse my actions. someone who can help me improve on who i am, i guess?

also someone sweet and gentle and just understands, y’know??

idk i haven’t put much thought into a person past that, since i guess all i want is someone who actually gives a shit?

   19. Do you want a church wedding?

uh personally i don’t really care even tho it’d probably piss off my family i guess??? like, it could be or it couldn’t be and it probably wouldn’t make too much of a difference for me because imo it’s a wedding either way???? idk man

   21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

like, me being in the hospital? no. visiting people? yeah

   23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

uhhh i met a guy off of broadway once he was cool i think his name was andrew or matthew or something and he was in pippin and actually was charlemange the night we saw the show!! i wish i could remember his name because he gave me really good advice about basically sharpening what i wasn’t good at when it came to theatre

   25. What color socks are you wearing?

none

   27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

like… i mean, i wouldn’t be against it? as long as it’s for something i’m proud of, i guess???

   29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

nnnope

   31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually lie on my stomach when i sleep!!! idk why it’s been kind of a recent thing??? like i use to sleep on my left side for years and over the last year or two i’ve started sleeping on my stomach for whatever reason

   33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i usually don’t wake up early enough to actually eat breakfast but i like to make scrambled eggs and toast!! because effort

   35. Have you ever tried archery?

no but i want to :’O

   37. Favorite swear word?

eh, probably just ‘fuck’ because i’m not creative

   39. Do you have any scars?

i have a reaaaaaaally faint scar going up my leg from when i did something stupid and was scratched by a wire!!!

   41. Are you a good liar?

depends on the lie and who i’m telling said lie to, honestly.

   43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

uh i can kinda do a russian accent like Stereotypical Russian and i can do a southern accent (which works because i’m from the south but i have no accent i swear), and i can do a kinda posh accent??? idk man i should sit around and just attempt accents one day.

i’m good at mimicking mercy from overwatch sometimes tho but only when i’m playing her because it’s more of me just sitting there echoing whatever she says i guess

   45. What is your favorite accent?

idk my russian accent is at least fun to sit around and say shit in

also just??? idk what you would call it other than Stuck Up White Girl but that’s also kinda fun because i literally will sit around and say stupid shit

   47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

that’s honestly a good question and i couldn’t tell you because i barely remember anything like lemme check amazon because i have this dress??? that was probably expensive

it actually wasn’t too expensive it was only 35-ish dollars??? idk then i tend to not buy expensive clothes

   49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

   51. Are you scared of spiders?

hhholy fck yeah i nearly panicked yesterday when there was a spider in my car like i was almost gone but my brother got it

   53. Favorite foreign food?

honestly that’s hard but i??? fukn???? love??? chicken enchiladas????

also does fondue count bc it’s from switzerland and i love fondue like cheese??? good. chocolate??? heaven.

   55. Most used phrased?

probably like “idk man” because i just Don’t Know

   57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

depends!!! sometimes it can be around 30-40, sometimes an hour, sometimes i’ll be ready in 10 minutes i don’t do makeup and throw on something decent

   59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

i tend to mostly suck???? that doesn’t sound sexual i swear why does everything have to sound sexual jfc

   61. Do you sing to yourself?

i think we all know the answer to this one. it’s a definite yes and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t know me tbh

   63. Biggest Fear?

dying young, i guess? it’s something that kinda haunts me still and idk of anything that’d be a bigger fear than that for me rn

   65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk i rarely watch movies????

   67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

i mean i’d probably leave a few out but i can

i took a thing and i got like, 35-36 out of the 50 so that’s good i guess

   69. Extrovert or Introvert?

def an introvert

   71. What makes you nervous?

what doesn’t make me nervous tho

uh i guess just??? driving in silence makes me nervous

honestly any silence makes me nervous because i need at least some sort of constant noise??? tests are hell, man.

   73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends on the mistake??? i tend to but if it’s just something really minor i won’t bother the person.

   75. Have you ever started a rumor?

nah i dont think so. if i have then??? whoops. i know a guy who started (or at least tried to?) rumors about himself tho it was weird

   77. Have you ever drank underage?

not rly??? i’ve had sips of stuff but that was usually with my parents and it wasn’t enough to make me feel anything. altho next time my friend and i hang out without her parents there i might drink a little, just to be able to say ‘i did the thing’ since i kinda wanna do teenage shit while i still can i guess?????

   79. Who was your first real crush?

guy i knew/know (we’re kinda friends??? like we talk but we don’t make extra effort to do so imo???) named jacob!!! he let me down gently because he was also the first person i confessed to, and altho i kinda regret it, i still had that rejection so at least i don’t have to deal with that shit with someone else being “that first rejection” or w/e

   81. Can you roll your Rs?

aaaa sadly no i wish i could tho!!!

   83. How fast can you run?

i don’t think i’m fast but i think i’m fast enough

   85. What color is your eyes?

blue!

   87. Do you keep a journal?

i kinda used to??? i stopped writing in it for a while…   89. Do you like your age?

ehh kinda??? like…? i’m still technically a “““teenager”““ (even tho i technically count until i’m 20 but legally i’m an adult at 18) but it kinda sucks because being 17 is lowkey kinda stressful because woah ur a senior in high school time for u to be forced into thinking you need to choose a good college that will get u a degree for a job you’ll always be in for the rest of ur life and just the fact i’m kinda inexperienced in shit??? i just wanna be smooched before i turn 18 man

   91. Do you like your own name?

i mean??? i don’t like ‘tristen’ but i do like ‘tris’! which is why i go by it online and i try to get ppl to call me it. there was someone i know who was like “no one even calls you that” when i said something about being called “tris” to someone and i’m like… that’s because i never said anything about it before…??? no one calls me tris because i never really went by it before….???

but anyway “tristen” is fine but i will always prefer to be called “tris”

   93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i’m gonna say i’d love to have a girl but honestly? i don’t really care? if i have a child or if i have children, i just want them to be happy and healthy and feel they can trust me with anything - or at least almost anything, since i never really had that person growing up.

   95. What are your weaknesses?

uh i’m not the strongest person when it comes to physical activities but that’s also because i’m a dumb egg who sucks when it comes to shit like dancing because i kinda throw myself down a hole when other ppl get things and i don’t and i get really self deprecating over shit

also self deprecation by itself is a pretty big weakness.

other than that, i’m kinda messy?? like my room itself is a mess and there’s clothes on the floor and i really just need to take a day and clean up

   97. Were your ancestors royalty?

not that i know of

   99. Color of your bedspread?

uh its too hot for one rn but i have a white one that my grandma bought for me and i use it when its cold af outside

i want this galaxy one that i found tho….

(I SPENT AN HOUR ANSWERING THIS BUT IT WAS FUN OMG…)

#bean answers things #ask meme #thanks nonny!!! #anonymous

[fleabite531]

JVP Netanyahu demo and Official New Friend

Wednesday. Chilled day with Y. He was working from home. I was lazing about and got snuggles during his breaks. Then I headed into SF for Jewish Voice for Peace (JVP) demo protesting Trump’s meeting that day with Netanyahu and their shared values of racism, wall-building and hate-mongering. Was cool to be with other Jewish progressives, though a little disappointed there was only about 40-50 there. It was a 2 hour demo and I was only there for last bit so there might have been more attending in total as folks were coming and going. I liked the connection between zionism and to USA rhetoric and policies on migration and borders, which was expressed in chants and handmade placards.

After the demo a couple of Bay Area friends I had originally connected with from Gaza (from my trip in 2003) met me and I really enjoyed how easy and grounded in affection these relationships are. Partly I think it might be that usa (partic west coast?) culture is more emotionally demonstrative anyway, so i might just be experiencing that and feeling it as “ooo these people like me, its safe for me to open up to them too”. But regardless I’m starting to really value these other reasons for being in bay area besides Y, and this works well as both Y and I like spending time with other people too when we’re together.

I had this waffle/diner food craving, and as this was my last opportunity for it for a while, we headed to Mel’s. Mel’s is both fun, and cliched/OTT, but I’m a tourist and I kinda enjoy the OTT so I love sitting in a Happy Days set! We even used the booth side jukebox! Excitingly someone joined us who I’ve only before met with when I’ve been also meeting her partner who is an old friend of mine. We both agreed that meeting without him made us now Official Friends. She was also excited to be in SF itself, as she does the common Easy Bay resident thing of hardly ever coming over into the city.

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Waffley goodness. And hell yes did I add the extra butter as well as the warmed maple syrup!

Official Friends! And both excited by our food!

Y joined us, and then a bit later New Official Friend, Y and I decided to go for Mexican food in the Mission – hey its my last night! I’m totes allowed 2 suppers! Then we went for a wander and ended up at the top of Dolores Park enjoying the view over the city before grabbing Indian deserts on our way to the last BART back to the East Bay. For I still needed to pack and then get up at 6am for my flight home!

Bus ticket drama

At SFO I was probably over excited by the TSA dog – so cute, though it looked pretty skinny. Luckily the excitement was not reciprocated so I got through security uneventfully, though the same was not true about getting from Edinburgh airport back to Glasgow…

So I’d managed to lose my purse containing my return bus ticket and debit card at Reykjavik airport on the way out. Pop quiz: a) I did the responsible thing and phoned lost property about it as soon as i realised, or b) I procrastinated making the scary phone call and then decided I’d just see them when I transited on my way back home only to find out that the lost property office was only open at 8:30am, was after my 4am-7am transit time? Ooops! Of course I had a chain of backup plans in case my purse wasn’t even in the airport:

1) pick up return bus ticket with bank card in iceland. 2) use debit card stored in chrome to buy bus ticket online and choose sms ticket option 3) use Y’s credit card to buy bus ticket online 4) convert $20 at edin airport (and take on chin the double commission whammy of both converting a small amount and an airport booth – I just need £11:60 for the bus ticket…) 5) once am in uk and time is more respectable (i landed 9am) start calling round friends to either buy me a bus ticket online / rescue me from airport 6) hitchhike – lots of Glasgow folks use Edinburgh airport and I was due to land at peak time (9am)

Ok, fine, so I couldn’t get my bus ticket or debit card… i just drop to option 2. After all I’ve used my card online so often I never even have to look at the CVC anymore. It turns out that my memory of that 3 digits is perfect unless its 5am and I’m on dodgy airport wifi with no way to just look at the back of the goddamned card! Fine, I’ll use Y’s credit card – he’d given me one that was about to expire anyway in case options 1 or 2 fell through. Except it turns out the citylink website doesn’t accept non uk billing addresses. Argh! More time passes and I’m like, bugger this, I need coffee[0] and then realised i could get citylink tickets on megabus website too. So off I go but now I’m struggling with the verified by visa password and Y is busy.

However the coffee was def working – some more googling and it turns out you can buy bus tickets at edinburgh airport’s tourist information booth! They’re bound to accept card payments, and Y’s given me his pin so i’m sorted! There are buses at 9:30 and 10:00 and I’m desperate to just get to my own bed by this time.

[09:00] Luckily our flight lands a bit early and I race through immigration and to the booth (in post coffee alertness at Reykjavik I’d pre-memorised the route from the online airport map)

[09:15] Possibly over sharing I tell the v friendly “welcome to scotland” person that i’ve just arrived back from travel abroad and so don’t have cash yet and so want to buy the bus ticket using my credit card and am hoping to make the 09:30 bus. She says she’s going to make sure she can give me the ticket before taking my money and then has to boot the computer an go through the complex online system. “I don’t think we have to waste time filling in your phone number and email address. I’ll just tick that you refused to give them to me”

[09:18] The printer is jammed and after several minutes she gives up trying to fix the feed and goes to another machine which thank the universe spits out the ticket.

[09:23] I put Y’s credit card into their card reader, but instead of asking for the pin, it says “payment accepted. signature required” and directs me to remove the card. So she prints the receipt and asks me to sign it. I squiggle “Praveen Kumar”[1] and hand it back.

[09:24] She flicks over the card (d’oh! of course she was going to do that! i’d forgotten that was even a thing. when was last time you signed for a card payment???) and the signature panel is blank… “Do you have any other ID with you?” Me, feigning calmness but running lateness “Oh no, I don’t have an other ID with me!”

Lets recap : 1) I’ve told her I’ve just landed off an international flight. 2) As far as she’s concerned she’s addressing a white female with an English accent. 3) The card is for an American bank with an Indian male name.

“Well I think you’ve been kept waiting long enough trying to get it printed. Turn right and then right again to get to the bus stop”

I LOVE BEING BACK IN SCOTLAND!!!! And I am very appreciative that I have bucketloads of white privilege which I am benefitting from – doubt this would have been so easy had Praveen Kumar been trying to use a card with a white chick’s name on :(

Friday – Spontaneous outing to The Lost Boys at amusement park

I arrived home at about 11am. Obviously first thing I did was put the kettle on. Ah tea, now things seem more reasonable. Ok, so I’ve had maybe 6 hours sleep since Wednesday, and I should probably change my clothes, but all I need to do today is stay awake til 8ish, go to the bank to get cash out across the counter, and get a few groceries in for the weekend. Then I’ll sleep like a baby and wake up some time tomorrow, go to the LGBTQ boxing club, and my timezone should be all fixed ready for 12 hour shift on Sunday. By 4:30pm I’ve done bank and shop chores and have cash and am planning a quiet evening and then sleeeeeeeep.

And then, this being Glasgow, a friend invites me to a Glasgow Film Festival screening of The Lost Boys in a secret location, buses leaving from the GFT in 90 mins. So much for the early night plan! Accompanied by motorbikes revelling as they rev their engines to full blast we are transported to M&Ds amusement park. We bump into another friend and play on the rides opened up specially for the occasion, the park packed with excited adults in vampire/hunter dress-up squirting holy-water-pistols at each other on the big wheel and maximal audience participation through a favourite teenage movie. Much glee!

Walking home from the bus, much sleep deprived but very content with how lucky I am to come back to Glasgow, where being “cool” means showing your exuberance, participating to the max. Not sneering, but rather thrilling at and cheering on others’ dorkiness and throwing themselves into the spirit of whatever hijinks is going on.

    eg from http://www.medizeninc.com/index.php/menu/

[0] food and drink seems to feature a lot in today’s blog… To add more, as wow air doesn’t give any food on the flight I’d packed another really good picnic; hard boiled eggs, oranges, humus and veg wrap (didn’t taste good on the flight though – i know taste buds are supposed to be different on flights), smoked tofu and jerky. This time didn’t have the conveniently under 100mls water-tight containers i had last time, and the liquor store seemed confused about why i’d want a *small* bottle of alcohol (merkans and their super-sizing!) so decided to buy booze in duty-free as obvs you can carry that onto the plane. Except then I realised once aboard that i wasn’t sure if i’d be allowed to carry it onto my second flight if i took it out of the heat sealed duty free bag and opened it. so i relied on snoozing and copious pre downloaded star trek to get me through instead. I’d turned down a pal’s offer of a “medicated” jelly bean which given the TSA doggie (such cute eyes!) was lucky!

[1] Name changed to another Indian male name for privacy reasons.

Homecoming – Last day in SF bay area (JVP netanyahu demo, and /official/ new friend). Bus ticket drama. Glasgow returning – spontaneous outing to The Lost Boys at amusement park. JVP Netanyahu demo and Official New Friend Wednesday. Chilled day with Y. He was working from home.

#gff #glasgow #politics #san francisco #the lost boys #travel