#so i am very afraid

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[carlyraejepsans]

was it foolishness? (was it fate)

#biscia continues to experiment with painterly styles. more at eleven #HI I AM VERY INSANE ABOUT FRISK TODAY. DONT TOUCH ME #undertale #frisk #myart #this is not possession btw i know it looks like red soul puppet stuff. but i just wanted to depict ''fate'' somehow #the narrative is alive and it tripped you down a big fucking hole. rip bozo #anyway you know how flowey said the first time he was able to reset/use his save powers was when he was so afraid to die #that he clung to life with everything he had? i think frisk had the exact same experience falling down mt ebott for the first time

[ryllen]

pov: me super sad on them altering zayne's ENG voice on the recent update

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #zayne #noooo he doesn't sound the same on the event and he doesn't sound the same anymore on claw machine date #they are trying to overwrite the soft husky him that i love #i am not sure if i am just very paranoid now but i feel like they are overwriting his voice on phone calls too #i am so afraid i will never hear his husky voice again on the story and relax time #his soft voice is so gentle and romantic #i hate his other voice it is so stern and commanding #o(---< #i am mourning so hard #i hope his new voice doesn't make it to new chapters of the story #but i c a n only hope #not everyone seem to like his husky voice #but his newest voice is much more monotone to me than his husky voice i hateee it sooo muuchh........................ #this post has no effort #i just want to veeentt..................... #zaynee come back to meeee #i put suggestion on discord to keep his old voice #but it doesn't seem to bring much eunthiasm sobbing...... #help me.... #DROP ME THE SURVEY AGAINN #I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT HIS NEW VOICEEE

[ameamedraws]

#yugioh #prideshipping #atem #seto kaiba #ame draws #just the idea of seto leaning into atem’s touch once he’s comfortable is so dear to me #just like #you know #this man is so touch starved I’m afraid #also atem is definitely the guy that just starts saying these things unbothered #also sorry for no art in a while I have been struggling a bit #still very much into them

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[ganondoodle]

utterly random late night panic thoughts but

if you read my zelda comic and like it i love and appreciate you but i really do need to be upfront about it being very much a self indulgent enemies to lovers story with a villain at the center that has done bad but isnt bad at his core and is struggeling to come to terms with the fact that he doesnt actually want to be the evil beast he and almost everyone else believes he should be

yes im one of those people ... fake villain fans or something ... i think .. i dont know the rules to that ... q-q

#ganondoodles talks #i thinks its in part the time thats making me suddendly panic about that #like i often see posts from people that are like fake villain enjoyers make the guy into a good guy #and real villain enjoyers are those that like him bc he kills people #or making fun of or generally seeming very agressive towards people that redeem villains #and i have no idea if id be counted among them bc im kinda doing it #yes he killed people but no he doesnt like it and doesnt want to #im one of those cringy softies that are like .. but what if villain ... good #of course im trying to make it make sense and with alot of extra written lore #like i made an entire world up just for demises backstory #but im undenialbly afraid that some people will tear my comic apart once they realize i made him not all that evil #again i have pretty much read no fanfiction and am unfamiliar with alot of common fanfic tropes and stuff so #i got no idea what is commonly understood as the wrong kind of villain fan or soemthing #I DONT KNOW THE CRINGE RULES I JUST HAVE LOTS OF BLORBO THOUGHTS #i need to go to bed

[mishy-mashy]

Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list

He's:

Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)

Long-legged

Has a straight nose bridge

Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)

Has a strong jawline

Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)

Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features

Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)

Even has a thick, muscly neck

He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)

(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-

-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)

The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one

Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute

Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:

Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)

Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO

Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor

Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.

Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.

Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?

Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor

He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.

Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.

These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.

Is logical, analytical, and calm.

He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.

Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).

Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.

We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.

Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya

While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.

Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.

He actually communicates a lot

When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.

(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])

When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.

He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".

Is strong-willed and loyal.

He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.

Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.

AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.

Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.

Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.

#yes this is a bruce appreciation post #am i biased? yes. am i right that he has these features? also yes. #hes actually a very attractive person. hes got all the right features for it #plus hes smart (some medical knowledge) is really loyal strong-willed and patient #he puts up with kudo SO much #from being bossed around to taking home yoichis brother to whatever the heck kudo made him do to figure out OFA's transfer properties..... #i didnt think much of bruce originally #then i started doing resistance fic stuff and now hes a fave #hes a little blorbo #that i throw in terrible situations for my own entertainment #used his scary smile for comedy purposes #like when he made a kid cry once. or when a meta child was afraid of him so they bit him #has patience to deal with kudo and co. but also. has enough bite to snark them. is how i like writing him #oh? background character? well lemme just *picks him up* EXPAND ON THAT- #fic stuff: he tries making a good impression on a girl and kudo is ruining it immediately #he doesnt know what to do because the two always banter #kudo: fuck you #oc: fuck me yourself you coward #he sees through a rose-lens that kudo is trying to rip off his face #appeciation kinda turned analysis in general #bruce #kudo #yoichi shigaraki #bnha #mha #spoilers #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #NOT YOICHIS BROTHER. i meant Yoichi / AFO's brother in a prev tag up there but theres too much tags i dont wanna rewrite to fix that #(image limit and tag limit)

[improvapocalyps]

I am so sorry it was you.

#double life spoilers #double life smp #double life #tangotek #solidaritygaming #trafficblr #tangotek fanart #tango fanart #jimmy solidarity fanart #jimmy solidarity #solidarity fanart #mcyt #mcyt fanart #mcyt art #my art #fanart #i am so sorry it was you because i am very prone to accidents and you should not have to deal with my clumsiness #i am so sorry it was you because now that you are soul-bound to me i am afraid that my ties with death will doom you too

[eight-pointed-star]

#fëanor #maedhros #my art #silmarillion #the brainrot continues i'm afraid. yes i'm aware of how much feanor&maedhros stuff i've drawn and written here in the past couple of weeks #i too am horrified. not surprised though #fëanor & maedhros #why so many floral ornaments on their clothes? they're noldor! you might ask. and you would be completely right #i have no idea what i'm doing #i have a very limited fantasy i just copy the ornaments from whatever clothed i find on pinterest and like #i DON'T enjoy thinking ohhh what kind of clothes and ornaments would these characters wear if we take into account their culture and the we #ther (which we know nothing about) their individual personalities their character arcs and symbolism the parallels between them and the oth #r characters. i DON'T care!!!!! and i can't just leave their clothes unadorned. so here we are #i say if the clothes match the characters vibe — great amazing good lovely. if they don't — fantastic splendid beautiful wonderful

[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-

#ok im actually full on watching one piece after being absolutely obsessed with sanji for 10 years despite not actually watching the show #and i was very afraid that it was gonna make me hate him but i mean 60 eps in and im just like. lmao look at this dork ass loser #hes a sweetheart but also i wanna hold his head underwater. so it goes. also absolutely obsessed with the concept of fish Biologist sanji #in a way that is completely unhinged. like am i gonna have to write a fic abt sanji waxing I poetic abt evolution and physiology? #bc i dont think anyone else is gonna do it for me 😭 #im afraid its only gonna get worse. the characterization of sanji. its so sad when ur number 1 bby girl is thr fucking worst #sanji #one piece

[non4ry]

look at us, you and I, back at it again.

#cry of fear #cofaom #afraid of monsters #cof #simon henriksson #sophie cof #sophie cry of fear #do not tag as kin/me/id i am a fictive 👍 #i love my boyfriend sooo much me if drawing him over and over again was illegal #ughhh simon. chewing on him. so many thoughts in my brain about cry of fear #i love when two very fucked up people are in very fucked up love with each other #slash reference

[chirpsythismorning]

S5 opener REAL

#byler #will byers #stranger things #every season besides s4-5 opens with non main characters #for el we got a flashback of the lab followed by her perspective in the scene directly after #and I think for Will we will see something similar #with us getting the flashback of him in castle byers in the UD #followed by him in the present in the scene after #but what exactly would warrant that memory being brought up in association with Will in the present? #mayhaps his connection to the mindflayer and the UD run deeper than we realize… #it’s likely not something he could just rid himself of in s2 and now he’s all good #he literally still feels a connection to everything he is feeling #that means he is still technically at risk of being the spy in some capacity #the massacre at Hawkins lab also was a guiding force for El discovering the ‘truth’ in s4 #so it’s likely for Will this instance will operate in a way that re-contextualizes the events in the past up to now #like that time Will suggested they go to the hospital in s3 only for the flayed to be waiting for them #or how flayed Billy knew they were at the cabin… #all while Will was looking cryptic as hell in that scene watching over el #or the fact that he picked Billy in the first place the season after he focused on Will… #you know.. williams #I think the easiest way to introduce the castle Byers flashback is a dream honestly #specifically a dream within a dream #seeing that recent leak and Will looking like either he has a black or hasn’t slept in days #is giving very much ‘I am afraid to sleep bc I’m scared of what will happen’ #I think dude is not exactly possessed in the sense that we already saw in s2 with like the particicles #but he’s still vulnerable #the door is still ajar… #no but fr this idea of opening a door in your mind was so blatant in st2 AND s3b of teen wolf #I think a big part of it will be guilting Will over the fact that Will has helped him before without Will telling the others #hence his weird vibe in s3… like he’s already successfully fucked with Will post s2 potentially with us being none the wiser aka here we go

[eggplantgifs]

Yuma Kagiyama: Werther » 2023 Grand Prix de France

#yuma kagiyama #fskateedit #figure skating #gp france 2023 #program #caught up on some galas and i'm obsessed with this program #i have literally watched it so many times #it takes everything good about yuma's skating and elevates it #the gorgeous lines and long sweeping edges on the music the softness of his hands #it's a very classical program but in the best way and it suits him so well #i'm just continuously in awe of how much he's improved this season #he said he wants to use this as his olympic season sp and i can't wait #though part of me is afraid he'll have to water down the choreo to make it a competitive program #it's so perfect the way it is now #i am VERY in my feelings tonight #like wow i love fs i love that skating like this exists and we get to see it

[sn4pe]

Imma be real and idc if I get backlash. I didn’t like Alan Rickman as Snape. If the goal was to remake Snape, he did a great job- but if he wanted to portray book snape, he completely butchered it and missed the mark.

People saying he was ‘perfect for snape’ what are you smoking?? He was like 50-something and didn’t match the vibe in the slightest. He just wasn’t a good as snape.

#severus snape #snape #harry potter #pro snape #I AM NOT ANTI ALAN RICKMAN HES GREAT BUT THIS IS JUST FOR TAGS #anti alan rickman #felt so weird typing that #i think ppl in the snapedom r afraid to criticize him bc our fandom ties in very close w the Alan fandom #and u guys love him fiercely #for good reason ofc he’s great but #just not a good snape

[nicosraf]

Silly question maybe but self publishing stuff confuses me. I was just wondering what you did for the barcodes on your book. Is it one you paid for or did you just go with the one Amazon gives you? Sorry if this was random! I just see you as self-pub goals so I was wondering.

DO NOT BUY BARCODES !!! DO NOT BUY BARCODES!!!!!!!!!!

So when you're setting up to self-publish, youre going to need an ISBN. If you're in the US, you need to buy these (from Bowker.com typically), or you can get a free one from your publishing platform — Amazon KDP, Draft2Digital, Ingram, or any of the others.

(The only issue with the free ISBNS that you get Locked to this printer, so if you get an Amazon ISBN, then you can only sell your book through Amazon or through Amazon's "expanded distribution") (I do not recommend Amazon's expanded distribution, really).

When you set up the cover and input the ISBN, the platform will generate the barcode and attach it.

For ex., here's me inputting the ISBN for (the old) Angels Before Man and then uploading the cover. Because I didn't check the box, it generated and added the bar code for me.

Something you should take into account when you get/make a cover is actually that the barcode is going to be slapped on and could potentially cover some lettering.

Before anything, you should generate a template for the cover using the cover generator that the platform you're using provides. If you're working with an artist, I really recommend sending this file to them, as well. This is how it looks:

I hope this is helpful! But yes, do not buy bar codes. Your ISBN, whether its free or not, will generate the bar for you. Good luck!!!!

#publishing #Dont be afraid to ask me any selfpub questions! #I am not an expert but if i dont know then I can ask others for sure #and self pubbing is very hard the first time so I would love to try and save you a little pain #mine #ask #self publishing

[genericpuff]

Hey puff! So you said Hades is a "mess who hasn't spilled over" and there are definitely some warning signs even now - Artemis' dislike, the ominous grin in the last chapter does not bode well for Alex, him treating Minthe pretty badly and dismissively, being open about his attraction to Kore while acknowledging Minthe, eating Dio to shut him up and laughing about it (No Kronos flashbacks, Hades??) Of course he did a lot of this in LO too but that was framed as a good thing and you seem more self aware than that.

My question is are he and Kore still endgame with his bad traits? Or is Kore just hiding a much darker, more selfish side who would like all this?

Hades and Kore are both very, VERY complicated people with complicated backstories that involve both the good and the bad. They're both victims of circumstance as well as their own wrongdoings (even the ones that were well-intentioned, they're both walking the road to hell wink wink), they're both holding on to some pretty dark shit and we're going to be exploring plenty of both sides along the way. I'm obviously trying not to spoil anything, but I will say that Hades and Persephone are not going to have a cut-and-dry 'fairy tale romance' like what was attempted in LO, Rekindled is attempting to be a more faithful retelling of the original Hymn to Demeter after all (or at least its original themes and messaging). They're both incredibly damaged people with a lot of tightly-sealed baggage that DESPERATELY needs to be unpacked and we all know what happens to relationships built on those types of foundations ;0 So that's all ima say on that ~

As for the irony of Hades 'eating' Dionysus, hurt people hurt people. Though I wouldn't worry about Dionysus, he just projects his consciousness into berries, he's alive and well ;) As for Hades... let's just say you shouldn't eat berries possessed by the god of madness, guy is gonna have a harsh comedown LOL

#i'd be lying if i said i wasn't worried about how people are gonna react to their respective backstories once it comes time to tackle them #when i say dark shit i MEAN dark shit #i'm really excited to tackle both characters but it's also very nerve-wracking and challenging because i want to make the messaging clear #fair warning ahead of time tho- #it's gonna be FULL of content warnings #i really don't fuck around when it comes to character writing and tragic backstories LOL #i am NOT afraid to go for the gut-punching stuff #so yeah buckle up #we're gonna get through this together #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore rekindled #lore rekindled ama