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monstersandmaw · 2 years

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Male ‘yautja inspired’ alien x gender neutral reader - Part Three (sfw)

Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

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Well, folks. You’ve absolutely floored me with your support for this story. I don’t know where to begin to thank you. Without further ado, here’s Part Three. It’s only had one edit this time, so please forgive any mistakes???

I will just quickly remind you that this isn’t technically a Predator/Yautja fanfic. It’s heavily inspired, but to the people ‘correcting’ my lore mistakes with asks that I’ve largely ignored, it’s not supposed to be ‘canon’ or accurate. It’s just a story with aliens who look like predators because I don’t want to spend time doing research and I love the design. Yes, they are basically a feral predator and a jungle predator, but just not in name and not in lore detail, so there’s no need to ‘correct’ me. Thanks. (Also Croc is gonna get his own story at some point in the future, I’m determined. Just not with this reader)

Contents: mention of loss of comrade’s life, thunderstorm, all the tropes, the start of some classic pining, some misunderstanding, some soft chat, Croc starting to be an exasperated wingman, and everyone’s favourite trope to finish with: there was only one bed... Wordcount: 4744

Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw)

Neither of the aliens was anywhere to be seen when you finally stepped out into the chilly, misty morning after a night of broken sleep. Your neck twinged and your back hurt something fierce after so many nights with nothing but a flimsy camping mat between you and the lumpy forest floor. Arching your spine and hearing it pop quietly in the still air of the campsite, you moaned and wished for a comfy bed and a hot bath.

“The hell am I doing…?” you whispered.

Groggy, stiff, and more than a little sticky and gritty after days of hiking alone through the pine forest, you knew that face wipes were just not going to cut it for the fourth day in a row.

Given that it would be three days until their backup arrived, you figured you’d hang around the crash site — see if you couldn’t get them to open up a bit more about their culture, and about these other terrifying aliens they were hunting — and then slip away well before their help arrived. No need to push your luck with a species that was not known for being universally peaceful with strangers; after all, their backup might mistake you for the reason they were shot down…

You poked your head into the now-cool wreckage of their ship and stared around at the dark grey, polished metal walls and surfaces. Some areas though looked more like black, woven carbon fibre than metal, with glowing gold panels behind like carved, back-lit amber. They were too far off to see properly though, and with the grounded ship sitting at that angle, it was difficult to make out much else. There were a few doorways and compartments you could have poked around in, but since neither Big Red nor Croc was anywhere to be found in the limited area of the grounded ship that was still accessible, and since you couldn’t read the glyphs on any of the surfaces, you decided to leave it all well alone.

Their stuff was all still at the campsite though, stacked neatly beneath the tarpaulin. They hadn’t tramped off during the night to meet their rescuers at a different rendezvous point then, and you stood with your hands on your hips and stared around the campsite. Your breath fogged the air in front of you and you watched it twist and billow.

For a moment, it seemed as though the scent of fresh smoke drifted through the silent trees, but it could just have been coming from the wreckage, eddying in slow-spiralling drafts around the crash site. The acrid smell of it got in your nose and made you scowl and cough.

Your canteen needed refreshing and a glance down at your hiking gear brought a grimace to your face. After digging out a camping towel and the rest of your dirty laundry from your pack, you headed back to the stream from the previous night to rinse it out, wondering all the while where your two companions were. Even though the autumn air was cold, your clothes were all made of light, quick-drying fabric, and with an abundance of summer-dry pine wood all around you — half of it conveniently shattered to kindling from the impact of the crash — you’d have no trouble starting a fire if you needed a bit more heat.

With no one in sight when you reached the creek, you started by rinsing out your clothes in the clear water. The cold bit into your hands, piercing right down to the bone and making your movements slow and clumsy, but with that eventually done, you draped your laundry temporarily over a branch and weighed up whether you wanted to risk hypothermia just to get yourself clean for a while.

Deciding that getting briefly cold was preferable to remaining perpetually sticky, you stripped off and stepped down into the gully again. The basin of rock at the bottom was just deep enough and wide enough to stand in so that the water came up to lap around your ankles, but it wasn’t the kind of dreamy plunge pool worthy of a travel blog. It was slippery, slimy with green algae, and excruciatingly cold. Still, it would be enough for what your grandmother used to call a ‘cat’s lick and a promise’.

Stark naked, you dunked your upper body into the spattering stream of water and bit back a shriek as it hit your flesh. Hunched over and leaning close to the mossy wall, you rinsed your head and face, scrubbed beneath your arms and briefly between your legs, and then turned your back on the stream to rinse off your shoulders and back.

Turning around revealed a sliver of the view between the trees of the horseshoe valley below, and, more immediately, Big Red standing on a boulder about twenty paces away.

He wasn’t watching you though. Quite the contrary, he had his back to you and was staring off at the same sliver of forest framed by trees, but nevertheless you yelped in surprise at finding him there.

“I will not look,” he said in response.

“Fucking hell,” you spat back at him through chattering teeth as your whole body started to spasm from the cold. “How long have you been there?”

“Not long. I heard movement as I was coming back up the hill, but discovered… you.”

“Right.”

Perfect.

An alien had probably just seen you buck fucking naked, even if for only a second.

“Fuck. Fuck it’s cold.” You thought you heard him chitter a little laugh as you careered and splashed out of the stream like a panicked wildebeest and floundered up towards your camping towel to dry yourself off.

All the while you flailed around with the towel, Big Red remained completely silent and unmoving. Eventually — dry, dressed, and a little bit warmer — you turned around to find him exactly as you’d last seen him, staring out at the misty forest below.

There was something eerily melancholic in the set of his colossal shoulders and the stack of his spine though, and you paused, leaving your laundry where it was and approaching him quietly from behind.

Perhaps it was the cold that had taken the majority of your brain cells offline, but you came over to stand beside him on the flat rock and looked up at him. “Are you alight?” you asked in a soft murmur.

At that, he tilted his head down at you, mask glinting in the misty morning light. “Yes,” he said. After a beat he added, “We — ‘Croc’ and I — We burned our fallen squad-mate’s body at dawn.”

That explained the smoke on the air. With all the goings on of the previous evening, you’d forgotten that he’d said there had been one more.

Your heart twisted in your chest at his words and you reached instinctively for his bare bicep to squeeze the solid muscle with half-frozen fingers. “I’m so sorry,” you said, and turned to leave. “I won’t intrude.”

“Your presence is… welcome,” he rasped, though he returned his attention to the view. “You do not have to leave, though you have lost a lot of heat in that water.”

With a cosy fleece on to help warm you up, it was hardly an inconvenience to keep Big Red company for a while.

Neither of you broke the silence for a long time. Red just stood there with his hands cupped under his elbows, arms hugged across his bare chest, staring out at the trees in the crescent-moon valley below. It was choked in a pale fog beneath a heavy, iron-grey sky, and the details of the landscape blurred into nothing after no more than a quarter of a mile. Birds were still singing though, and Red seemed completely captivated by it.

Eventually, rocking on the balls of your feet to try and keep warm, you glanced back up at him. “What’s your planet like? ‘Secundus’, I mean.”

He spoke without looking down at you. “It is… not like this —” he gestured with his hand towards the gap in the trees “— Prime is more like this, but… the jungle there is… hot.”

“We’ve got hot and sweaty jungles here on Earth too. Croc might be happier there.”

Big Red nodded once.

“What about you?”

“I am used to… arid deserts,” he said. “Heat, sand, rock… Not trees for miles. Not… cold.” He said the word with such bafflement that you wondered if perhaps this was the coldest place he’d ever been.

“You’re cold now?” you asked and he nodded. With a little smirk, you said, “Well, maybe you should wear some more clothes then, you big exhibitionist.”

At that, Red did look down at you. At least, you thought he was looking. It was hard to tell with the mask on. His mandibles pinched inwards, puckering his mouth into a tight kind of scowl. “You are still below average temperature for a human,” he said.

“I’m warming up though. The walk back up to the camp should help too.”

Big Red nodded. “You should go.”

“Do you want me to?”

After a pause, he shook his head. The movement was so tiny you might have missed it altogether had not his braids clicked together softly.

“Can I ask you something else then?”

Again, he nodded. “So many questions.”

“Can you blame me?”

He laughed quietly at that and shook his head.

“Do you see in heat? In infra-red, I mean?”

Another nod. “I can see with my eyes too, but… they are weak. Especially here. The mask… lets me see the distance… and details.”

“Is that why you keep it on all the time?”

A long moment of silence stretched between you. “No.” He didn’t seem to want to elaborate more on that and you inhaled deeply, wondering what to ask next.

“How does it work?”

He sighed and raised his hand to his face. He lifted the mask off and immediately turned his face away from you again so that you couldn’t see him properly.

He was almost tall enough for it to work.

In profile though, you could just about see the delicate, prehensile mandibles, and a flat looking face that sloped up towards his large cranium, and you even glimpsed small, very deep-set eyes. His skin was a greyish red, like campfire ash, that faded to a pale, speckled gold in the centre of his face, and he didn’t seem to have the coronet of short spikes that Croc did just before the start of his cylindrical ‘braids’.

Without turning towards you, he stuck his hand out and offered his mask to you, inside facing upwards. You took it carefully in both hands, tearing your eyes away from what you could see of his face to stare at the mask, turning it over to stare at the smaller details. It was heavier than you’d expected it to be, but while the outside was made of stark, smooth bone, the inside was a warm, dark metal, similar to that of the ship’s interior. It was obvious that there were no eye-holes like there were in the metal ones you’d seen in the footage back at the base, and there were tiny little pads all over the inside that tingled when you ran your fingers over them. Some kind of electrode, perhaps.

“Is this how I saw all those images yesterday?” you asked and he grunted assent. “Never imagined I’d be plugging my brain into a piece of alien technology like it’s the fucking Matrix.”

He chirruped in confusion and almost turned to look at you, but caught himself in time. “I… do not understand.”

“It’s a film from the late nineties,” you muttered, returning your gaze to the mask and turning it over to look at the bone side. Trailing a fingertip along the tiny, almost cuneiform carvings that had been delicately engraved into the surface in an interlocking pattern, you asked, “Do you guys have movies?”

“Yes, but not like you do. They are… generated with… something close to what you call computer.”

“Boring. No actors and celebrities then?”

He shook his head. “We have famous warriors.”

“Naturally,” you quipped and he clicked his mandibles at you in amused agreement. “I think you’d like The Matrix,” you said, glancing up at him again. He was still angled away from you but you could feel his whole attention on you just the same. “I wonder if you could watch it in your head with this… Actually, that would be kind of perfect. The premise is that humanity is trapped in a kind of simulated reality, while machines feed off our bodies for energy but there’s this one guy — you know what, never mind. You should just watch it if you can.”

His mandibles twitched into what you’d come to assume was a slightly exasperated smile. He clicked at you but didn’t say anything in English.

When he didn’t move for a long stretch of minutes, either to take the mask back or to show you his face, you went out on a limb and asked, “Why don’t you want to look at me?”

He tensed and rotated his torso just a fraction further from you and shook his head, making his waxy ‘braids’ rattle against each other across his powerful shoulder and back muscles. The desire to touch, to feel his cool, hard skin beneath your fingertips was almost overwhelming again.

Exhaling in resigned defeat, you nudged his mask against the crook of his elbow and turned away while he took it in fumbling fingers. You left him standing on the rock and headed back up to the camp without looking at him. You were different species, after all, and you couldn’t expect to understand every little nuance of custom in a single day. Maybe Croc would explain it to you, if you could get him alone.

Croc was actually already back at camp when you trudged in with your armful of wet laundry, and he had started a cheery little campfire going too, despite the damp weather. You used the bit of spare cabling he offered you from the ship to string a temporary washing line between two trees, and draped your wet clothes over it to start drying off. That done, you approached Croc’s fire and asked if you could sit.

He grinned up at you from where he was perched on a crate and nodded enthusiastically.

“Big Red told me about your friend. I’m sorry,” you said.

Inclining his head formally, he said, “He is… at peace now. It is… the way of all our warriors.”

With a nod, you left the matter there. “How’s your arm?” It looked blackened and burned, but he seemed oddly sanguine about such a significant loss.

Again, he just shrugged.

“Is it… painful?”

Croc nodded. “A little,” he admitted. “But when we are… back on the mothership, I will… have a… How do humans call it…?” He mimed slotting something over the stump with his hand.

“A prosthetic?” you ventured.

“Yes! Though I have seen yours…” He didn't look impressed. “Ours are… permanent. Many warriors have… lost limbs… fighting the enemy. It is not so bad to… get made a new one.”

You nodded. “We could use tech like that,” you said under your breath. “Red told me a bit about this ‘enemy’ of yours… where are they from?”

The fire cracked and popped, and Croc told you what he could in his faltering way about the enemy they had fought for millennia on their planet. Apparently they had begun to spread off-world, and so his kind had followed, hunting them down. Croc then began to ask you a bit about your life, and about humans in general, and while you were sitting there, the mist thickened into a sheeting drizzle. You raced to pull in your laundry while Croc watched and laughed at you for trying to save the fabric, and once you’d dumped it all in your tent in a damp pile, you returned to sit with him again under the shelter of the tarp.

“Wear no clothes,” he said. “Then nothing to worry about!”

“Easy for you to say,” you scoffed, laughing. “Look at you! You’re both built like a tank!”

The rain drifted across the crash site in thick curtains, and despite the fleece and the protective tarpaulin, it wasn’t long before the elements started to creep down your collar and make you shiver.

“Red’s gonna get cold out there,” you murmured. There had been no sign of him for hours.

“Boss knows… how to take care of… himself,” Croc shrugged, but he didn't say it with his usual, affable confidence. He was worried about his friend too. “I must… take care of my weapon,” he announced, and you hoped to God that wasn't a euphemism.

Luckily it wasn’t, and he rose and returned a moment later from the ship with a complicated looking weapon that resembled some kind of sci-fi blaster gun. He laid it down on top of a crate, took out some kind of maintenance kit, and got to work.

You watched in silent fascination while he worked, and when he was just tightening the last screws on the casing, you asked about Red’s mask.

“Croc? Can I ask you something?”

He straightened up from his work, a tiny screwdriver held in his thick, clawed fingers like a surgeon’s knife. His yellow, reptilian eyes met yours, openly intrigued and he nodded. He seemed to enjoy answering your questions when he could.

“How come Big Red wears a mask all the time but you don’t? Is it a different species thing?”

Croc laughed at that, and half-turned his attention back to tightening whatever it was in the weapon that needed it. “No. But you have great honour… in seeing a warrior without their… helmet,” he said. There was a playful lilt to his tone that was almost self-effacing. From the way he said it, you got the impression that it would have been a great honour if he’d actually been given the choice about it, but now that it had happened, he didn’t mind.

His words kindled a sinking feeling in your gut though; Red clearly didn’t think you worthy enough of the honour of seeing his face, despite having saved his squad-mate’s life. Then again, you supposed it was fair enough. You barely knew him, and you were an alien too, in his eyes. Why should you get the honour of seeing him anyway?

Croc watched your reaction carefully. “My helmet…” he said, “It was destroyed… in the crash. When —” he cut off to make a series of clicks that clearly formed a name, though it didn’t sound like Red’s “— was killed and… that hole was blasted into the ship,” he said, indicating the gaping maw in the hull, “My helmet took… damage. Broken. I will manage without technology though.” With an honest-to-God, conspiratorial wink, he added, “Boss would struggle without his… He cannot see well with his eyes. And I am… much smarter than him. Adapt much better to Earth…” With another coltish grin he leaned in closer and added, “And much better looking, even to humans.”

Without warning, just as you barked a loud laugh, a small section of pine log hurtled through the air towards Croc. He spun and shot it out of the sky with the freshly-conditioned weapon, where it shattered to a spray of tinder on impact. He roared a belligerent, joyful challenge while debris rained down around you, and you turned to see Big Red standing on the far edge of the clearing, his shoulders rising and falling noticeably as he breathed. Then he spread his jaws as wide as he had when he’d charged you down the day before, and bellowed back at Croc.

Croc laughed and shook his head, responding to his superior in their own language. Croc then shot you a look when you just stood there in shock. “He challenges me. You are doubly honoured, human,” he said with a wry intonation that wasn’t dimmed by his difficulties in getting the sounds out around his sharp mandibles. “You get to watch two great warriors of our kind fight.��

“But… your arm,” you faltered, horrified. “Croc, you’re still healing…”

The shock must have shown in your face because he just laughed again. “We spar, small human… Not a real fight. Though,” he added with a few taunting clicks of his mandibles in Red’s direction, “Boss will not hold back.”

The ensuing fight took your breath away.

Croc reached into the cavity of the ship and tossed a small, metal stave over at Red, who caught it deftly and activated it to turn it into another one of the long, harpoon-like spears that were holding up two points of the canvas roof over part of the campsite.

The clearing naturally formed a kind of fighting ring, and the two circled each other with the familiarity of old sparring partners.

Croc said something that was clearly a taunt, but Red didn’t fall for it. He let Croc go first, whirling the spear around one-handed with surprising deftness. He clearly missed his other arm though, and went to grab the spear with a limb that was no longer there a few times, but once the two got into their stride, it was incredible. They danced around each other until finally Red struck with whip-crack speed. He swept Croc’s legs out from under him and held him in place on his back with the spear point steady at his throat. When Croc clicked at him, Red stepped back formally and waited for him to rise.

Red was faster and more precise than Croc, but Croc, even with his recently-acquired disability, was as powerful as his namesake, and more than once he knocked Red to the ground with a grunt of expelled air from his lungs. Once he even nicked Red’s upper arm with the blade at the tip of the spear, sending a trickle of lime green blood down his rust-red skin.

The way they moved together through the rain in perfect synchrony was mesmeric. Time passed, and it could have been minutes or hours before they finally drew to a halt.

They bowed, breathing hard, mandibles open, and then stepped close to one another. Touching foreheads as they had done the previous day, they touched their fang-tips to each other’s and then relaxed, turning away. Both of them were breathing hard, chests rising and falling while the rain poured off them like water down a cliff face.

“I’ve seen the soldiers on the base fight before…” you said as Red stalked over and grabbed a canteen of his own from the ship’s supplies, upending it into his stretching maw. The liquid was an unappetising pinkish-purple, the same as the plants you’d seen in the footage of the alien they were hunting, and although he drank deeply, he was obviously listening to you. “…But I’ve never seen anyone fight like that. You two are…”

“Impressive?” Croc grinned, coming up beside Red and slapping his commander on the small of his back, well out of the way of his braids.

Red tossed a snide comment over his shoulder at Croc, who laughed. “I can still… almost beat him… with only one arm. Boss is losing his… edge. Even with an audience.”

Big Red shook his head and quietly offered Croc the bottle, which he took.

The three of you settled down by the fire after that while the weather worsened, and by late afternoon, you had listened to them tell you, in their stilted, awkward way of speaking English, about how their ships worked, what the structure of their society was like, and roughly how many of their kind there were on Earth at the moment. Not many. Not enough to face the enemy, you realised.

“You’re going to need humans to get involved in this hunt too, aren’t you?” you asked, and after exchanging a brief look, both Croc and Red nodded. “You want me to talk to my boss when I get back?”

“I will show you… what you need to know… about them,” Big Red said, tapping his mask with a claw again. “You can tell them. Prepare.”

Puffing your cheeks out, you exhaled and nodded.

They ate rations that seemed similar to what you were living off — necessary, but not something they’d pick given the choice — and as night closed in and the weather picked up to a lashing rain, you dashed across the muddy crash site and dived into your tent for the night to write up your notes. You had a small camera with you, but you hadn’t dared ask them if they would consent to being filmed, and something about it made you feel… wrong somehow. It turned them from a vastly intelligent, sapient race into something akin to laboratory specimens for analysis, and that didn’t sit right with you.

Three hours later, as a full-blown storm crashed down on the forest outside, you began to shiver. It wasn’t so much the cold, though the damp was creeping up through the earth, through the groundsheet and into the mat, but good, old-fashioned fear. You’d never been outside in this kind of weather before, and although your tent was military-issue, its flapping walls felt very flimsy.

A tree fell with an ear-rending series of cracks a little while later and you forced yourself to breathe steadily. It did absolutely nothing for your galloping heart rate, and you curled in on yourself, huddling more tightly in your sleeping bag and trying not to whimper. Like a child, you wanted to draw something over your head and hide away until it was all over.

An indistinct roar rose above the howling wind and you opened your eyes to see a figure silhouetted against the fabric of your tent like a slasher from a horror movie. For a wild moment, your mind went completely blank until you recognised the timbre of the roar. It was Big Red.

With shaking fingers, you unzipped your tent and a face full of rain and spray blasted in almost immediately.

“Not safe…” Red growled, reaching into your tent with his huge hand and practically yanking you to your feet.

“Wait!” you shrieked, flailing. “Let me put some boots on before you drag me out into a fucking storm!”

Red released you and stepped back. Water cascaded in rivulets down his bare, hard skin, and the contours of his body were illuminated by the steady glow of a flashlight that must have come from their ship.

You stuffed your feet into your boots, grabbed your phone and the small emergency pack from the top of your rucksack, and bundled yourself up into a waterproof.

Praying that your flimsy tent would still be there in the morning, you stepped out, zipped it up again, and scuttled at Red’s side towards the hole in the side of the hull of his ship.

“Now what?” you yelled up at him above the racket of the wind that raced past the opening.

Red didn’t waste time with words, and just pointed. A small hatch was open in the ship’s inner wall that you could have sworn was closed earlier, and you ducked unquestioningly through it to find a cosy chamber, though everything was rotated ninety degrees after the crash. A bunk had been bolted to the bulkhead, but Red had dragged the mattress off it and laid it on the wall which was now the floor.

“If you do not… mind,” he said. “You may sleep here. It is safer than out there.”

You nodded. “What about you?”

“I will go with Croc.”

Red turned to go, but something made you call out to him. “Wait.”

He stopped halfway through ducking out of the doorway and regarded you.

“You could stay,” you said. “I’m smaller than Croc. You’ll have more room.”

“You… would not… mind?”

With a little smile, you shrugged out of your waterproof and crossed to hang it from a peg near the door. He watched you closely, as though expecting you to change your mind.

The water that was still dripping off your coat made a musical little rhythm as it hit the floor and you shook your head. “So long as you dry yourself off first, I don’t mind at all.”

___

Next Chapter --->

I hope you’re still enjoying where this is going! Your asks and tags in the reblogs have kept me going these last couple of days, so thank you.

If you happen to have a couple of bucks spare, you could always drop a tip on my Ko-fi, but reblogs are just as welcome and just as helpful! More soon, I hope... I know where it’s going - I just have to write it and things are about to get super busy in my life.

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#yautja #yautja x reader #feral predator x reader #feral predator inspired #yautja inspired #alien x reader #male yautja x reader #male yautja #male alien x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #exophilia #monster boyfriend #alien boyfriend

586 notes · View notes

front-facing-pokemon · 3 months

Note

Yes, Honedge!

Something i'd like to point out about its face:

It doesn't have a goofy face, the holes in the scabbard just make it look that way. In reality, it just has a single eye.

With that in mind, could you please do a version without the scabbard?

iiii figured this was common knowledge enough to not warrant an additional form, but alright:

some of the guard disappeared but it's okay. i never even saw that part of the scabbard as a face—the blue eye is very obviously an eye. i don't know if anyone actually thought that was its face. however, i do find it interesting that even after removing the scabbard textures, it still has textures for that "face" remaining:

which implies it's a face more than anything i've seen of the matter before this point

anyway there's so many asks in the box right now so let's just go through all of them:

in order from oldest to newest, here we go:

this is true. most of the models are shiny, unless they have a "colladamax" variant

ahh it's fine. i considered it might have been a request but i also doubted it considering pangoro was literally next so i assumed you were just excited. me complaining about requests was unrelated—another ask i got around the same time

well then maybe it's not a bad thing. you certainly phrased it like one, it seems, but that might just be unfortunate connotations with the way you said it? glad we could clear up the confusion i guess

we do need more snakes, but i also like the bipedal pokémon, as a furry. back when everyone was begging sprigatito not to stand up, i saw through their thinly-veiled furry hate and was begging sprigatito to go against the grain and stand up anyway. and then they did and now meowscarada is one of my favorite pokémon. get fucked, normies (i am sorry for saying this)

↑ i didn't know this until i looked it up! this is interesting. stuff like the male version learning misty terrain but the female version learning more type coverage. this is very strange but i like it. only girls can use magical leaf and charge beam sorry boys

thank you! i can explain it. it is because pokémon are getting very close and staring at you as for the inspiration for this blog, it was mostly snivy. i remember one day thinking that snivy's big nose would make it look very silly from the front, and being like "damn. someone should compile a list of what every pokémon looks like from the front. damn. that would make a good tumblr blog bc some of those would be really funny. damn. i should do that" and then i did. but that was back in 2020—pretty soon after i ended up starting college which didn't allot me a lot of time for updating this blog, and although i kept swearing i'd go back, somewhat soon after that i went through a breakup and just wanted to take a while for myself. a bit after that, tumblr user sewatari reblogged one of the posts on this blog again (the weedle post, i believe?) and singlehandedly revived this blog by reminding me that they still cared about it. and that's fucking awesome?? tbh?? so thank them for this blog's continued existence. if you scroll waaaayyyy back far enough in the archive, you'll probably see that miniature saga. the images back from the first gen and onwards were a little bit icky as i got grips on how to actually go about this blog and manipulate the models in the right way to get them to work, which is why i can never really recommend folks scroll all the way back in the blog, but it's a look back into my own personal history, i suppose

apologies for breaking the magic, although i don't think anyone keeps up with the "i am a pokémon taking real live pictures of other pokémon with the camera right in their face" lore because no one pays attention to the backgrounds of the images (which used to change much more than they do now, but that's just because no one ever noticed or pointed them out. the background is not the focus of the image—it's the pokémon itself; thus, why look at the background? staging the pokémon in a setting used to be important to me, but now i don't worry about it and cycle between the same few backgrounds) or the asks, really. it's the commentary in the tags everyone comes here for, of course

she's a fully-grown woman with a house

then you'll love the top of this post

they probably wouldn't think it looks like anything because they aren't familiar with what honedge looks like so they would just picture nothing in their head. or they would just make up what they Think honedge might look like based on its name, or something, and then imagine that front-facing

i don't know which one of these is the real one. but we have some discrepancy here. also apparently this is a wider-spread belief than i thought

OKAY. i think that's all of them. if you read all the way here to the end, that's. powerful. for those of you who stuck around this long, i'm live right now with a test stream having some breakfast and playing pokémon. come join in, if you're bored this morning!

edit: it's over but i'll probably do it again some time, more likely at a more reasonable hour next time. considering the idea of doing a fully voiced pmd series—perhaps that'll be the next stream. or i'll leave another test one for it. who knows!

#not pkmn #nose ratings #extremely long post under the cut #i missed a few days of these so you're getting them ALL at once #the test stream probably won't be anything interesting btw. so you're not missing out if you don't show up #probably. who knows what i'll do. maybe i'll queue up the next set of pokémon live on camera. or maybe i'll fail at some tera raids #or maybe i'll find a random full-odds shiny in sv. or i'll go shiny hunting or something. y'never know!!#also fun fact apparently if you edit a tumblr post with a readmore‚ it moves the readmore down every time you edit it #why? no idea

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midnight-in-town · 8 months

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Orphanage of livestock

Alrighty, buckle up guys, time for another very cringy theory. :D Big thanks to my friend @dorkshadows for all our discussions about the current arc; this arc is really making us wrack our brain for ideas. xD

To start, here's a reminder as to where we stand vis à vis bizarre dolls:

UT first used to edit those corpses' cinematic records with fake memories he made during the Campania arc, but it quickly changed during the Weston arc to "longing for the future"...

...which are "incomplete fragments that the dead crave about the future they were to have had". Since UT didn't explain anything new ever since, it's likely that the records are still being edited with this method in the current arc.

Then, with the blue sect arc, we were introduced to the use of blood transfusions as "fuel" for the bizarre dolls' longevity...

...and our!Ciel's side set out to crash these collect operations in order to weaken the Undertaker and real!Ciel's side.

Mey Rin's investigation confirmed the existence of one blood collect site...

and so did Bard's:

However, in Finny and Snake's investigation, while the orphanage did sort the children into 4 groups too, the elder siblings pointed out that...

...not only have they never any blood drawn from them, but the orphanage is rather forcing them to attend classes, in order to develop their "aptitude" based on the tests they took when they arrived. Most importantly, when Ginny fledged, the chief of staff said...

...that "the aptitude honed there will make contributions to the world" (as a child with Corgi aptitudes, Ginny's classes were about physical activities "like gymnastics or horse riding").

Investigating Ginny having fledged, that's when Finny, Snake and the elder siblings discovered yet another lab (very similar to the one in Sphere music hall) with evidence of blood collection, but also of organ collection.

So, since this arc with Finny and Snake heavily parallels the circus arc, I was wondering if the purpose of dissecting these poor kids was similar to what Kelvin and the doc did with the kids they abducted:

In other words, whoever is behind this operation (UT is involved, but he might not be the only Shinigami deserter behind this) are maybe killing the kids to collect blood but also many different organs, so that they can probably upgrade their latest bizarre dolls (both in body and record).

Under read more for additional explanations/speculations:

1) the orphanage collects the children's organs to physically upgrade BDs ?

Most likely by grafting new organs or body parts (taken from the orphanage kids who fledged) on bizarre dolls who need them.

For example, considering the Polaris = Joker theory: back in the circus arc, Joker said:

and then Seb cut his second hand. Yet, when Polaris attacked Agni (who was quite strong), Agni noticed that...

...his opponent was very quick and strong. So if Polaris is indeed Joker, then it's likely BD!Joker has new strong arms.

Additionally, crack thought, but we witnessed both Doll and real!Ciel suddenly collapsing, which we automatically linked to needing more blood to keep on functioning, but if they really got new organs from those kids, then maybe...

...the issue we witnessed isn't anemia, but some sort of graft versus host disease? Or both lmao. (I'm totally reaching here)

2) the orphanage also collects the children's organs to gain more sponsors ?

Additionally to the Bizarre Dolls, these organs could be used to gain more sponsors, similarly to Bravat who used to provide blood transfusions to parliamentarians who suffered from kidney failure:

Only rich folks would have enough money to buy organs if they needed it, so they'd make good sponsors for this super expensive BD project.

Of course, the risk of graft v. host disease would be very high as well but, since Othello said "they learnt more than they ought to have" upon visiting the Sphere music hall's lab (ch125), maybe they figured out about how to make a successful graft, on top of blood types ? (Or, most likely, the ones running this clown show just don't care about their sponsors dying once they've gotten the money ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ exactly like Bravat who killed the parliamentarians)

3) the orphanage collects the children's organs for experimentation

This would explain why Finny finds a lot of similarities between this orphanage and the German lab by which he was experimented on for enhanced strength.

Additionally, this would explain Snake's weird comment on "orphanages being terrible places", if he too was also experimented on as a child (which is how and why he understands snakes) :

Lastly, back to the Polaris = Joker idea, Agni mentioned that Polaris had "unimaginable strength". As we know, Agni was one of the strongest characters, so for him to qualify his opponent as "unimaginably strong", it is likely that Polaris has some kind of enhanced strength.

So do they research about enhancing human (or bizarre doll) strength or longevity? Or is it research on cinematic records? Your guess is as good as mine but, as already proved with the circus arc, no one will miss these orphans...

...making this "the best recycling scheme" one can think of. T_T

4) the orphanage assigning orphans to classes based on aptitude tests is used to upgrade BD's records or lack of soul:

The kids are sorted into 4 groups based on the aptitude test they took. Literally quoting the manga:

Mastiff kids learn reading, writing and skills needed to be senior servants managing large manors

Corgi kids specialize in physical activities

Collie kids learn all the skills to make a living as a domestic servant and martial arts

Pomeranian kids (kids who scored the highest on the tests) study latin, maths and games

These orphans are told they are saved and then to envision their future based on their aptitude and what they're forced to learn in their respective classes. This is probably done so that they will develop very specific "longing for the future" which, again, are "incomplete fragments that the dead crave about the future they were to have had".

So, once they fledged and are killed, their "longing for the future" are probably extracted and used one way or another. Since the records are already edited, the goal behind this might be to create some sort of a soul substitute, as hinted by Jane in the Heathfield investigation arc:

and it sure would explain why the chief of staff said the aptitudes can contribute to the world:

That's why something like a change in the afternoon tea menu of the pomeranian kids (from lemon drizzle cake to lemon tart) would actually matter, because taste is probably one of the parameters that can influence the "shape of a soul" or something.

There are 4 groups in the orphanage; in the previous investigations that mostly meant 4 blood types, but this time it might mostly mean 4 star lords:

Mastiff kids for used for Polaris, who defines himself as a butler (he's not real!Ciel's butler tho++) (Joker?)

obviously Pomeranian kids are used for Sirius (real!Ciel)

For Canopus and Vega, it's a bit trickier, but I propose Corgi kids for Vega/Layla, despite her probably being high born, because she worked as a nurse helping veterans with rehabilitation, which looked like this :

This leaves Collie kids for Canopus...

even if Canopus' true identity is really the least obvious one right now. FYI, some Japanese speaking fans have discussed that Canopus is the maid Jane and she indeed worked as a maid and knew how to fight, so it fits (I personally have another theory in mind for Jane, but Canopus!Jane definitely has some basis). If not Jane (or Doll, like some fans keep saying), Canopus can still appear during Seb & Ciel's investigation, so we'll just keep these details about Collie kids in mind.

I'm sure the truth behind Snake & Finny's investigation, as well as the next one with Ciel and Seb, will provide us with more hints about how the bizarre dolls and, more specifically, the star lords are becoming more and more perfect. So far this post is what I can guess with what we were given.

TL;DR in many possible ways, the ones behind this arc (besides UT, I mean) are preying on these poor kids and making use of every parts of them (blood, organs and maybe even their longing for the future).

That's why giving them mistletoe when they reach fledging day is so ironic...

...because they really suck every "nutrient" possible from these kids until they die.

Not gonna lie, it doesn't look good at all for Theo. He's headed straight for real!Ciel... ://

Kudos if you read all that, I hope it was as clear as possible! As always, thoughts in comments or reblogs are welcome! :D

#kuroshitsuji #finnian #snake #undertaker #doll #joker #2ct #baron kelvin #blue revenge arc #circus arc #layla #jane #as of:#kuro203 #kuroshitsuji theory #my analysis

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qqtxt · 1 year

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[🍬] inevitable happiness [🐯]

[!] this is for the 500 followers mini fics. click here to find out more! ✿ pairing: beomgyu x reader / idol!txt / non.idol!you / fluff / 443 words ✿ request: “i haven’t laughed like this in a long time.” (tweaked a little!) + beomgyu [main masterlist 🌸] / [event masterlist] / [tag: #qqtxt: 500]

note: requests are closed for this event. requests are no longer accepted for this!

this is the last one, folks! thank you to everyone who sent in a request and to everyone who showed love to this celebration series! the next one will probably be when we hit 1k! so so grateful for all the love. 💖

there are days where beomgyu wonders if there’s actual happiness in his life. sure, i mean, everyone feels that way once in a while but with the weight of being an idol, being the one who’s well-known for bringing the mood up... there are times where he struggles with his own mood to comprehend other people’s mood. let alone consider if they’re feeling okay or not when he himself isn’t feeling the best in the world.

then, there are days where beomgyu looks at you and he feels like all is right in the world. the happiness restores itself; his heart doesn’t feel as heavy as it should be and there’s this spark of butterflies that roam freely without his permission (not that it needed it, anyway).

it was karaoke night. yeonjun’s idea of wanting to get everyone to release stress due to their recent comeback and lift the spirits up. clearly, among the five, you might stick out since you’re not exactly a singer by profession... so what do you do?

you give the performance of a lifetime. stealing the mic just as bang bang bang by bigbang blasts through the speakers. kai and taehyun being backup dancers to your fantastic rendition with cracked vocals and belted, rockstar-like screams before you give your heart and soul to performing the choreography. beomgyu can’t breathe right, clutching to his abdomen as his laughter rings through the room. it’s the kind of happiness that reminds you two of the youthful years of being silly; being happy, so lightweight and carefree despite the heaviness that living brings.

in the midst of it all, yeonjun’s eyes soften at the sight of beomgyu’s wide smile. he gently nudges soobin who also look like he’s having the time of his life, beckoning for him to look at the latter he’s looking at before he whispers to soobin’s ears: “i haven’t seen him laugh like that in such a long time.”

it’s like soobin’s mutual with the understanding when his eyes rest upon beomgyu’s smile. the kind that doesn’t have the strings of life dragging him down. the kind that allows him to be free. the kind of happy he deserves.

those days where beomgyu wonders if happiness exists still occur but... he figures, as long as he has you, by his side, hand-in-hand through the highs and lows, he doesn’t think as much as he used to. because once you smile at him with the light in your eyes beckoning him to breathe, gyu-yah, just breathe. he does and he’s reminded of the sweet taste of what it’s like to be alive; more so with the one he loves.

#qqtxt: 500 #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu x y/n #beomgyu x you #beomgyu #choi beomgyu #choi beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu scenario #beomgyu fluff #txt scenarios #txt x you #txt x reader #txt stories #txt imagines #txt reactions

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firstofficerwiggles · 1 month

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My friend, congratulations on your follower milestone! You provide such a welcoming, fun, supportive, caring environment for everyone you interact with I’m not surprised all these folks follow you! Thank you for being so wonderful 🧡 I feel very lucky to have you in my little corner on the internet 🥰

I’d like to request a romantic little moment with my dear tin can man, Din. I’m neck deep into studying for a professional certification and my anxiety is going a bit bonkers so something with encouragement from Din would be wonderful. Feel free to make that encouragement as spicy as you want 😉

Awww, thank you so, so much for your kind words. I’m so glad to know you too!! ❤️I also wish you all the best with your certification! I’m sure you’ll do a great job!! Of course you know Din is very supportive of you too, and he definitely wants to help you relax… (18+ under the cut)

Cyar’ika,

I hope I’m not interrupting your studies, but I figured you might need a little break and an encouraging word or two. I know you’re nervous about this certification, but I know you’re going to do great. You’re so clever and bright. Grogu and I know you’re going to be fantastic. We’re both sending you extra hugs and kisses. Well, I’m sending you several more kisses, and when you’re finished and back home with us I intend to give you so many sweet and passionate kisses that all your nerves and stress just melt away. In fact let me give you an incentive for what you’ll get from me when you’re all finished. Once I’ve kissed you so much your toes curl, I’m going to strip away your clothes and give you a nice full body massage. You always tell me how much you like my hands, so allow me to use them on you to work away all those knots and stiffness in your muscles. Then, I’d like to let my lips follow my hands, trailing tender kisses over your skin that will become more heated as I go. You know how much I love to use my mouth on you and feel your hands entwined in my curls as I help you release all that pent-up tension. I’m getting rather warm just thinking about it, cyar’ika. You know what else is really good for relieving stress and anxiety, skin to skin contact. So I think I better join you in taking off all my clothes too while I take you in my arms and let my body soothe yours in the most enjoyable way. Think of me as your own personal weighted blanket, my body pressing yours into the bed as I kiss and caress you, all the while reminding you that you’re my brilliant love, my perfect one, and that I’m so humbled that someone as wonderful as you chooses to be with me. Cyar’ika, I hope you remember how incredible you are. You mean everything to me, and I love to show you how much. I suppose I better let you get back to your studies, just know I’m right here waiting for you as soon as you need me.

Love,

Din

Send in an ask for Wiggles' 1200 Followers Celebration

#the mandalorian #din djarin #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #wiggles follower celebration

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soapskneebrace · 3 months

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stargazer and cool dice! also if you’re inclined to answer and if it isn’t too invasive/personal, I relate a little to well to reader in your fic and it’s insinuated that finishing can feel better like hello???(!) it’s not supposed to feel like that or is that not actually finishing??? what do I need to research to get on the next level - not even asking for a friend, I’m asking for myself (again feel free to just delete this - I don’t want to be disrespectful or cross any boundaries. I’d been praying one day you’d turn anon back on so I can ask)

Hmm, that's a tough one, because I feel like I can't give you any advice that you haven't heard--you just need to experiment more and try different things.

I know, I KNOW, that's such a vague answer lol. So here's some more concrete advice, on the assumption that you have a vagina and all its accessories (EXPLICIT SEX ED UNDER THE CUT FOLKS):

Find a dildo or other penetrative instrument with a clitoral attachment, make sure they both vibrate, and use it in different positions for longer than you would normally go. Try on your back, your stomach, your side, or even sitting up. What you're looking for is twofold: a too-much feeling on your clit, like, when you feel it positioned just right you'll want to JUMP out of your skin, and a tightening feeling around the penetrating part of the toy.

You're probably used to that really fast, intense wave that happens somewhere near the start--I don't honestly know if that's a climax or not, but I do know there's way more beyond it. You've just got to stick it out and dedicate some time to this, and don't be shy about moving the toy around. Try different angles on your clit, try different depths with the dildo (if you get one that's wide in the middle but tapers at the end you might have some great success with that). There's a sweet spot--you just have to find it.

You'll know you're there when it feels like you're about to shoot the damn thing out of your pussy by pressure alone. You might stop breathing (I do), because asphyxiation just helps to prolong it for some reason. I'm no expert lol I just know it helps.

Oh, and it's important to note, orgasm is way harder to achieve, I think, when you don't start out physically aroused. Yeah, you might feel it mentally, but when you feel it in your body it will feel like you're tightening up around nothing, like you're honestly a little bit sore. So spend some time on some sexy fanfiction, erotica, audio porn, or even real porn (although I tend not to find real porn arousing, because I'm usually uncomfortable witnessing other people being intimate--ymmv).

Overall don't be too hard on yourself and try to enjoy the experience. Accept also that it might not happen, and there's nothing wrong with you if it doesn't. It's really hard, when life is the way it is right now, when maybe you've been raised to believe that pleasure is a terrible thing for you to pursue, when you've been taught that your sexual experience is destined to be disappointing. Be patient and be the lover to yourself that you wish you had.

I just realized you asked for research advice and I just straight up told you directly what to do. I'm not sure where to send you for any other advice, because I truly never found any that helped. I figured this stuff out by experimenting, and that's really the best advice I can give you too. Try this out, and spend some quality time with yourself and learn about your own body. Hope that helps!

EDIT: @captainjamster reminded me of the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski and I CANNOT recommend it enough. If you’re AFAB it is a great place to start. Nagoski goes into minute detail explaining the architecture of the vulva and the myriad issues that need addressing in order to achieve female pleasure.

#answered

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aita-blorbos · 9 months

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WIBTA if I saved everyone from an unstable lunatic?

I (?M -- the place I'm from uses a different calendar system) am an ambassador from another dimension, and as part of my job I'm supposed to check and see if there's anywhere that would make decent housing for my people. I found a place recently, but I also got roped into a bunch of politics I wanted no part in, and that's really been dragging the whole operation down.

Recently, things have gotten worse with one person in particular. He (??M, ghost) has been constantly spying on everyone, hiding in people's walls and eavesdropping on their conversations and the like, and I'm pretty sure he'd been stalking me specifically since he knows a bunch of stuff that I've never told him? I'm mostly willing to let that fly -- or I would be if the rest of his actions weren't extremely worrying as well.

For starters, he somehow got his hands on an IOU from me, and he's been holding it over my head ever since. The way he goes about it is creepy, too -- first he pulls me into his underground graveyard to giggle about it like an unhinged person, and says "it'll wait for the right moment." He figures out what he wants to ask me for? He doesn't shoot me a message, that'd be too normal of him. No, he specifically gets me to teleport to his underground lair full of lava and precious metals before asking me to steal something from a ritual we'd all been planning to try and get the queen unpossessed (long story).

I told him I'd do it anyway, but then a mutual friend of ours (??M) steals them first. Later, I find out that for some reason the ghost had instructed him to stop me from stealing the diamonds for reasons I cannot possibly fathom and frankly do NOT want to know. So not only did he try and get me to sabotage this ritual that was potentially our only hope of getting our friend back, he also asked someone to make it more difficult for me. He hasn't even told me what the diamonds are for.

Anyway, I get back in contact with my employers and tell them I'm going to need a little bit more time to canvas the area, because there's a lot going on and I don't want anyone to get inconvenienced, and then I end up getting dragged into a bunch more stuff -- probably a good thing I told my folks it'd take a while. The ghost contacts me again and reminds me about the IOU in the most menacing way possible (cornering me outside his house and going "what do the interest rates look like on your word?" in the creepy voice he knows I hate), a different mutual friend of ours (??F) might be possessed by the same thing that got to the queen, and the local HOA is sending me threatening messages for building things on my own property.

The ghost says he's got an idea for how to fix the situation, but his idea of "fixing" things basically caused the apocalypse, so I'm not super keen on that. I'm thinking of rallying a combination of my friends and some of my folks to exorcise him before he hurts anyone particularly badly -- I don't like having to suggest it, but it's becoming clear to me that he's the cause of pretty much everything that's gone wrong around here recently, and, I mean, needs of the many, you know?

The person I asked first (our second mutual friend) seems kind of on the fence about it, though, which I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. I'm thinking I might just get my own people for backup and deal with him myself so everyone can get some peace and quiet around here and I can get back to work doing what I was supposed to be doing this entire time. She's probably going to blame me no matter what I do, but WIBTA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #STALKING

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enchi-elm · 2 months

Text

I've been writing some smut for two of my OCs in the Turn fanfic You've Caught Me Between Wind and Water, Lt. Jameson Mullcock and Lt. Frederico Ridgewell. It's going really well, so well in fact that I might end up submitting it to an erotica magazine in the future--which would prevent me from posting it on AO3.

To that end, to cover my own disappointment, here's some bits of lore for these two, gratis:

Background

Frederico

Full name is Frederico “Dico” Miguel Carvalho dos Reis Ridgewell

He is a Portuguese-American (mother is Portuguese) and stands in for the many Portuguese-American contributions to the Continental Army (go look up Pedro "Peter" Francisco)

Father split when Frederico was young, he grew up with his mother in New York in a Portuguese neighbourhood

Speaks fluent Portuguese

James

Jameson Mullcock is just Jameson Mullcock, but he goes by James

He is Irish-American and stands in for the many Irish-American contributions to the Continental Army (I explicitly wanted to include an Irish-American character because there were shitty stereotypes in the army against the Irish from other nationalities; like, we have primary sources for this)

James does not disclose he is half-Irish when he enlists and just lists his birthplace as Philadelphia

His mother is Abaigeal Noiréis (Abigail Norris), born in Galway, Ireland (thank you @mercurygray for naming her and helping me with her backstory!)

She is Catholic and married a Protestant British soldier she met during the occupation of Ireland, then followed him to England and then Pennsylvania and had to keep her faith secret

James is raised Protestant and only knows a little of the Catholic faith, which he keeps secret (because there was a considerable anti-Catholic sentiment in parts of the colonies)

Knows a little bit of Irish and wishes he knew more but doesn't think he'd be welcome (or feel comfortable) among the Irish soldiers and officers

Personality and looks

Frederico

olive skin, dark eyes, tousled dark hair

enough weight on him to look conspicuously healthy at Valley Forge in 1777

exactly as athletic as he looks but not quite as intelligent

drop dead gorgeous and doesn't care

cinnamon roll, too pure for this world, is the only one unaware that people believe this of him

a dark horse so dark you can't even see him coming

James

pale enough to look anemic, eyes and hair too light for people's comfort

tall, gangly; gaunt, even by Valley Forge standards

more athletic than he looks and more intelligent too

sarcastic slacker who's too smart to let people know how much more responsibility he's capable of taking on

has maybe two vices (tea and tobacco) that he'll hold onto, everything else he's already resigned himself to losing

would rather light his arm on fire than go after something he wants in a direct, open, and honest manner (and be Seen? Are you mad?)

Occupation

and the whole reason I put this post together, which is to remind future Apfel that they are 2nd LIEUTENANTS in LAMB'S CONTINENTAL ARTILLERY which was reorganized in 1777 from LAMB'S INDEPENDENT COMPANY NEW YORK ARTILLERY which drew from artillery companies in NEW YORK, CONNECTICUT AND PENNSYLVANIA. OKAY??

AND ARTHUR GARRICK IS A 1ST LIEUTENANT AND CAPTAIN ARMISTEAD FOLK IS THEIR CAPTAIN. AND PERKINS IS THEIR ENSIGN. IT'S ALL ONE GROUP. REMEMBER THIS!

CALEB WAS PART OF THIS GROUP. THEY WERE ALSO IN PEEKSKILL AND AT THE WHITEMARSH ENCAMPMENT.

YOU ALREADY WROTE LAMB INTO THE STORY IN CHAPTER 8.

YOU ALREADY FIGURED THIS OUT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO RESEARCH IT AGAIN.

...

@georgios-kyriacos, I believe you expressed interest in these two :)

#Apfelessig #You've Caught Me Between Wind and Water #turn amc #my fanfic #the writing echo chamber #swear to god if I have to find another surprising connection years down the line about this freaking army #thank god that regiment drew from those exact three colonies I didn't want to have to rethink their backgrounds #long post #also Garrick's and Mullcock's name come from a Tumblr User's suggestions and i can't find the username??? I'm so sorry!!#also in looking for that information I uncovered notes from 2020 that told me that Perkins does actually have a first name #that I have never mentioned #and it is Sidney #this discovery makes me feel slightly more charitable toward him than I have ever been in the story #also Ridgewell's name was originally meant to be John

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dailycass-cain · 11 months

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I have time, at last, to talk about Spirit World #1! So what did I think about the issue and all the Cass within it?

I do like that this series is two-fold where you have both plots where Xanthe/John Constantine are trying to figure out a way into Spirit World and you have Cass venturing into the world itself.

Spirit World itself is a fascinating place because you can have all sorts of wonky mystical creatures inhabit it or have it as another plane of the afterlife. It just works perfectly. Like these two sisters who pester Cass early on in the issue. The sequence reminded me of a mixture of "The Bride with White Hair" and the "Evil Dead" movies. I almost was expecting a viewpoint from the sister who was pursuing Cass's pov as the latter is dodging her. Given how she's crackling on how she'll devour her even to the bones.

What fascinates me is how the spirits can tell of her moral qualities and well how it makes her a greater meal. Which writer Alyssa Wong leans heavier when Cass is saved by folks who know of Xanthe and Cass tells them how she got here. It's a little moment but artist Haining captures how slaying the creature still weighs HEAVY on Cass.

It's something overlooked (aka JL Elite), or not shown as much (DCeased: Dead Planet hinted at it but never fully went there).

Even a mythical creature so many years old and evil, and it still destroys Cass inside that she had killed it.

Once again, Wong just GETS the character of Cass. In ways that make me squee. Like, part of me hopes we get SOMETHING of Cass's past rearing their head in the Spirit World in good or bad.

I know my friends discussed a theory that the mysterious "Mr. Hong" who shows up might be someone whose a voice Cass recognizes be this bastard.

Honestly? I'd be down with that as it would separate David Cain from the mercs that seems like a ocean of them at this point.

However, my own theory, if someone is gonna show up from Cass's past, would be:

I mean that would be chilling to have a soul you murdered showing up as a spiritual lord in Spirit World.

The action has even consequences for after death they became nastier and more powerful.

The other possibility is well...

I know it's highly not gonna happen. But I just feel like Cass meeting Carolyn would be neat. You could have the Wu-San sisters being forces both in the Earthly and Spiritual worlds.

I think the reason why I want a Carolyn showing is more due to well Rebirth's lost plot of her being a self-help guru and even in death Carolyn is mending fences.

Anyway, another element I do love is Wong weaving TWO of Cass's other identities. Both one with a sly mention of Orphan and the other basically being a better Black Bat design.

Then again, I feel this new outfit is a clear homage to fan art attempts of another costume for Cass. But hey it keeps something flowing around her belt area. Even if it isn't a scarf. 😝

As for Po Po and Bowen interest me as both characters remind me of Studio Ghibli characters. I think for Bowen it's the mark across his chest we see.

It highly reminds me of the demonic mark Ashitaka had in Princess Mononoke. Is it a sign of he was feasted by Spirit World creatures before Po Po saved him?

Po Po is another character that fascinates me as well as she (and Bowen) are connections to Xanthe's past. I like how it's all connected and the way Wong spins the stories as we learn one aspect of the new character's past and we get another with a cliffhanger.

Not only that but teases of just when Xanthe became nonbinary as her mother deadnames them by issue's end.

Like, I'm glad Wong is showing the origin of Xanthe in full both in glimpses on the Cass side, while also in their attempt to save her.

This was a REALLY good first issue that continues introducing a really intriguing new character to the DC mystical mythos (with their own area to play with) that intertwines with Cassandra Cain and something that the character just well barely has ever dealt with: mystic hijinks.

Like we sort of did (in the tail end of her ongoing) aka one of the worst stories involving the character. So I'm glad Wong is taking something that was once a negative for Cass writers and finally going back to the well with a better story.

The fact that so many fans are talking about it. Shows just how much Wong has got us, and they've barely even brushed the surface of Spirit World and even gone into full details with Xanthe.

The only negative, I could even think is the most minor of nit-picks. In that, I hope Bowen doesn't become another male love interest for Cass. He does look a little smitten of her with what she's done. Buuuuut...

Given the little glances we have of him, I don't think Wong will do that, unlike other writers in the past. I think that's why many are thinking that angle. I think Wong is going for subversion here.

Regardless, I highly enjoyed this series and if you're looking for a new angle of DC mystic this really was something! BUY THIS BOOK AND SPIRIT WORLD #2 NEXT MONTH!

#dc comics #cassandra cain #my thoughts

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starseneyes · 1 year

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Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 2 Eps 15, 16 & 17

Season 2 is such a fascinating era for Chenford, especially post-DOD and with the Rachel subplot. I'll be honest, I never hated Rachel. So, forgive me if I'm a little nicer to her than I am Ashley/Chris AKA Season 4's Obstacles of Awful.

SPOILER ALERT: If you are spoiler-averse, you are Rachel Meta-averse, as well. I will spoil the entirety of these episodes, as well as anything that has come before. I do try to write these without foreknowledge, though.

I'll be honest, the first two episodes here make me super uncomfortable. See, I'm a former journalist, so that one gets under my skin. And then the other with the medical stuff is tough, too, for someone with a fun list of issues.

Everyone squared away? Huzzah! Let's dive in together.

"Hand-Off" AKA Go Back to Mayberry

"What exactly is being assessed?" "Occupational integrity. From how we maintain our equipment to the upkeep of all of our certifications."

Lucy directs her question at Grey, but I do like how Tim jumps in here. His Rookie asked a question, and he's actually answering it instead of making Lucy jump through sixteen hoops to figure it out herself.

"So, are you nervous about meeting Rachel's dad?" "Please." "It's gotta be a tick nerve-wracking. Rachel adores her dad." "And he's gonna love me. Colin was a sheriff for 30 years." "Yeah, in a town with two stoplights." "LA or Mayberry, cop's a cop."

First off, I have to say I love seeing Tim's confidence, but I'm torn because it stems from his position as a cop.

That's Tim's default. He leans into his profession, using that as a measure of his worth while completely missing his value as a human being.

And, yes, there are a lot of reasons for that (that Season 2 Rachel wouldn't know), but future Rachel wants to give Tim a big hug, take him out for a beer, and explain to him that while he is a great cop, he's also a great human.

"No, he's from Sweet Home, not Mayberry." "No, I know. It's Mayberry, like the TV show." "What TV show?" "Nevermind."

That. Hurts. Me. Look, I know I'm getting older, and I'm much closer to Tim's age than Lucy's, so this moment hurt me. Ouch. I need to go adjust my dentures and invest in prune juice.

These young folks are carting me off to the Nursing Home so I can watch TV in black-and-white with a nostalgic smile on my face.

Also, it makes sense that Tim would invest in a show like that—a cop who loves his son. Someday that'll be you, Timmy, my boy.

"Lopez and her TO were first on the scene. Officer Rowland died in her arms." "That's awful. Ten years ago, Lopez would have been a Rookie." "It was her first shift."

It wasn't Lucy's first shift when she was tugging a shot, bleeding Tim out of the line of fire, but it was close. Coming into this job, there's no guarantee that your introduction will be smooth.

But Lucy also remembers what it was like with Tim... and while she might have imagined it going the other way, Lopez lived it on Day 1.

As I've said before, there but for the grace of God go I.

"So, have you decided where you're taking Rachel's dad for dinner?"

Lucy has this knack of getting Tim to talk personal stuff in the Shop. Yes, I know they both know Rachel (since Lucy set them up), but it's still a breach in protocol for TO Tim. Love it.

Look, these two aren't anywhere near ready to shack up in a hotel all night testing the stability of the earthquake protection systems. But, I love how Lucy draws him out.

Once she talked about someone liking him and he cut her off with a reminder that he was married and saying they don't talk about that.

Now, neither of those statements is true. Tim's dating, again, and he's talking to Lucy all about it.

"Auto burglary cases have a 0.02% solve rate. How is failing to recover her Dad's suitcase my best foot forward?"

They were actually kinda cordial before that, falling into a rhythm that's closer to their Season 3 banter.

But, now Tim's worried he's going to start off on the wrong foot, so, in the words of Marlin the Clown Fish, "Good feeling gone."

"Smokehouse. I love their bread."

Is this where the world-famous Twitter Crumb-o-Meter came from? I could believe it!

"Look at you in that uniform." "It's so good to see you, again."

It's so bloody nice to have someone in Lucy's circle support her who is in the same age-range as her parents. It's a shame he lives so far away.

"Sir, why don't you climb in the Shop? We'll drive around, do some hunting. See if we get lucky."

Yikes, Rachel's dad is coming in with some bark. He does NOT like what he's seeing in Tim Bradford, for whatever reason, and he's giving him grief. And it sucks to see Tim's confidence deflate so swiftly.

Like, I'm fine with him ending up with Rachel. *ducks* I know someone just threw a shoe at their screen. I hope it didn't break!

But, hear me out. Chenford at this point is a fantasy, a hope, a wish. In the grand scheme of ships, we're only 2 seasons in, and there's plenty of time to change direction.

Would I prefer for Tim and Lucy to get together? Hell, yeah. That's the Endgame dream, right? But most of the time when shows set up a "placeholder character", I hate them. I can't wait to get them off my screen.

Rachel's a decent, kind, hard-working, heart-filled human who really does like Tim Bradford very much. At a time when he's just easing back into the dating scene (well... Tim kinda dove in head-first, if you know what I mean), she's fairly easy-going.

Also, we share a name. And I like 90% of Rachels. (Yes, there is one exception. Yes, I've given her many chances over the last two decades to change my opinion... not yet).

A far as Tim and Rachel goes, let's see how it plays out, yeah?

FAST FORWARD: YES, future Rachel knows how this plays out. But I write these as though I'm watching them for the first time! Part of the rules! ... Please stop throwing shoes at me. I can almost feel my own screen shaking from the impact.

Back in the scene, I can't keep my eyes off of Lucy, because Melissa O'Neil is crushing her reaction game in this scene. I laughed every four seconds because of her.

"I know. But try and stay positive, okay?" *arm tap*

Yes, Lucy got this into this mess. But she was trying to be helpful. And while she is very aware of the tension here, Lucy always has that can-do, positive attitude that tries to lighten Tim's grump.

And the fact that she's retained that brightness post-DOD says a lot about her as a person. Lucy is resilient, yes. But also determined not to lose that part of herself.

It'd be easy to let trauma swallow it... but she chooses each day to reclaim who she is, to never let the bastard win, even in death. What a fuckin' inspiration.

"The thing is, if he's smart, he hit as many cars as he could in 10 minutes and then jumped on the freeway. He could be in Barstow by now."

Lucy with the assist! Again, Tim and Lucy are in friend-mode, so she is trying to help him with Rachel's dad, who she knows.

But it ain't helping.

"Look, clearly you're a good cop." "I appreciate that." "Dedicated, selfless, and takes pride in his work. A little sphinctered, maybe, but that can be good, too. Just not for my daughter."

Ouch. So much ouch. And, look, my Dad was never a fan of any of the guys I dated. He even told me when we were preparing for my wedding that "Matt's the one I disliked the least".

Yes, he loves Matt. This is one of the dangers of having an ex-stand-up comedian for a Dad. Never feed him a straight line.

But, oof, Rachel's Dad's being a little tough, right? Right? Stay tuned...

"I'm so proud of you." "Thank you."

Lucy needs that more. I mean, can you imagine how much she wants to hear these words from her own father? To know that her family accepts and loves her and supports her? That's the dream, right?

And, you absolutely can lead a fulfilling, beautiful life without the approval of your parents. Tragically, too many parents cut their children off for not meeting a certain list of expectations. Lucy's parents are about a thread away from that.

But she wants them to be proud of her. It would be nice, ya know?

And, I get it. You leave that door open to them, hoping that one day they'll knock and be ready for a real relationship. But, in the meantime, you have to keep living. And that's what Lucy's doing.

"What are you talking about?" "Uh, I thought she had told you." "Told me what." "Rachel may have Huntington's Disease. It's a fatal genetic disorder. "

Oh. Suddenly it all comes together, and it all makes sense. This is why he's been so hard on Tim, so tough on him, coming at him from every angle to distance them.

"But she may not have it."

Is that hope, Tim Bradford? Or more confidence in the science knowing it might not've been passed down? Either way, I appreciate Tim taking the opposite position where Rachel's father is waiting for the perceived inevitable.

You can't live your life based on a "maybe", yes. But ignoring it entirely might not be the best answer, either. It depends on the person.

My grandmother (mi abuela) died of small cell lung cancer. She went from diagnosis to death in 2 weeks. It was fast. It was sudden. It was heartbreaking.

My employer at the time told me to take my laptop and stay at the hospital with my Dad while I worked so I could be there for him, help walk him through losing his mother. "I trust you," she said. I'll never forget that.

Mima and her last living sister (my tia) spoke on the phone one last time, about a week before she passed. Neither mentioned to the other... they both had cancer. Neither told the other. We didn't tell them, either. Not until she passed.

And, oh, what a tough decision. But that meant their last conversation was filled with joy, love, and light. And for Mima, I think that's what she needed.

So... it depends on the person, I think. I'm not really here to judge.

That said, if you're dating someone, and this is a possibility, I think it's definitely something to discuss if you're see a future together. But, that's just me.

"... if the worst comes to pass, Rachel's gonna need someone who'll put everything else aside just to care for her. And we both know that's not you."

This pissed me off. Because, we all saw Tim with Isabel, and this guy didn't. We saw what he was willing to do to save Lucy from Caleb, and this guy didn't. He's making assumptions about a man he barely knows, and that pisses me off.

Yes, I hear his point. But he's allowing perception to color perspective. If he got to know this man—Tim Bradford—instead of jumping to conclusions, he might see a different picture.

"You had no idea Rachel might have it?" "No. She never told me."

I have such mixed feelings about this. Tim should not have shared his girlfriend's medical information with his Rookie. At all.

But the fact that he did is fascinating, and yet another step toward them growing closer.

But, Tim really shouldn't have said anything.

"We should go talk." "No, we shouldn't. This is none of your business."

If it's none of his business, truly, then this relationship may not have a future.

Look, it is her call to share or not share her medical history and information. Absolutely. But blind-siding Tim ten years down the road and giving him no time to prepare mentally and emotionally is a bad look.

Again, it's just my opinion. And Tim and Rachel aren't walking down the aisle, yet, so there would be plenty of time to address it before then. But, I do think it would be better to be honest upfront.

It's the first (but not last) time that someone in a couple on this show conceals medical information pertinent to the relationship.

And, honestly I'm more understanding about this one than that one simply because these two are dating, haven't yet moved in together, or talked next steps, and there's still an easy out.

Tim and Lucy look to one another as Rachel leaves, and I feel the air of partnership between them. It's them against the world, sometimes. And their bond is only growing stronger with the passage of time.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Tim doesn't scare easily, so he's not running from this. Just like we knew. We know who Tim is, and he loves deeply and completely.

He invests in relationships with everything in him, partly from a desire to be known and loved, and partly because he wishes that's what his father did with his mother.

Yes, spoiler alert, but I'm not saying too much, I don't think.

And I totally support her not wanting to know. Because she doesn't want to live her life around something that might not come. She wants to live freely. And isn't that all any of us want? Yeah.

"The Overnight" AKA Do Android Cops Dream of Electric Sheep?

The Canadian Idol Goes American

Did she just? She... I... WHAT!?!?!

Rachel on her first viewing had no idea Melissa O'Neil was Canadian Idol's Season 3 winner. Her singing was beautiful in the barrel. But this was a powerhouse vocal performance. Gee. Freakin' Whiz!!

How did we get so lucky to have this multi-talented performer as our Lucy? Wow.

One thing that really struct me about this performance was the joy that bubbled out of Lucy as she sang.

In the barrel, she sang as a source of comfort. Of strength. Of hope. She was dreaming the dream... that someone would find her.

Today, she's singing from a place of joy. The song bursts out of her, full-voices and strong. Lucy has reclaimed the joy of singing.

And while the convention might be a little forced... I love this moment. I love listening to her, watching her, and marveling at Melissa O'Neil's performance as a very layered character reclaiming her joy in front of us.

Powerful stuff.

"What are you doing in here?"

Tim bringing her back to earth as they try to pass her a Golden Ticket. And Lucy goes to him. Because, much as Lucy is an incredible singer, police work is her heart.

And I kinda love that message. Just because you excel at something doesn't mean it has to be your profession, or even your passion. Only you know your passion... so pursue that.

"Ever given blood before?" "Every 8 weeks, like clockwork." "Good for you." "Yeah, save lives. Get a personal oil change. It's win-win."

This is so Tim Bradford at his best. He likes organization and routine. But to choose the routine of donating blood to save lives? Oh, how beautiful!

"I didn't know machines had blood."

Nyla, I cackled aloud at that one. Well-played.

"You know the media will say or do anything to get you to back up their headline."

Oh, the stories I could tell. I started as an intern in a nationally broadcasted news room as 19. My first job was to watch 9/11 and Iraq War raw footage and mark the sections that were usable for broadcast.

I worked there a few years as a freelance Associate Producer after before determining I couldn't keep up with my full-time university schedule, my voice over job, and being called in randomly at 5AM for work after finishing class at Midnight. I was also a Student Teacher, at that point, and had papers to grade, lessons to plan, and lessons to teach.

Yes, Rachel has always been an overachiever.

After uni, I went to work at a local station. I was there a year and a half before I moved on because it was one of the most toxic places I've ever worked.

So, this episode makes me super uncomfortable because a lot of hit hits close to home.

This is not to say we should automatically distrust all journalists. But, I think a bit of skepticism is always a good place to start. They don't all have our best interests at heart.

"You shouldn't let him talk to you like that." "He's my Training Officer. That's just kind of his style."

Lucy really is accustomed to Tim at this point. And while I hear miss Journalist, Tim doesn't cross the line. Okay... Season 2 Tim doesn't cross the line. We can have words about Season 1 Tim in another Meta.

And Eric Winter's wife gets to check him out in-character. Yes, that's his beautiful, talented wife, Roselyn Sánchez!

She's built her own incredible career, and is currently on a television show, herself, in addition to the podcast these two share. Plus they have kids. IRL. Power. Couple.

I didn't know it the first time through. So, in case none of y'all knew either, now you know!

"I'm telling you, reporters always have an agenda." "To get the truth? Sounds horrible."

Lucy... you should listen to your husband on this one. I'm not saying all reporters are bad, but, speaking from experience, he's not entirely wrong.

"God, you don't trust anyone." "'Cause trust has to be earned."

Tim looks to Lucy, and she doesn't talk back. Because, that's not a bad way to live. And she knows he trusts her.

Look, you might think I'm quick to trust because of what I share here. When I tell you that's barely scratching the surface of my life, I mean it.

In this space, I get to control what I share and what I don't. But, if you get to know me and become a real part of my life, I'll definitely give you more. But, I need to build that trust, first.

And a default of not trusting journalists who want something out of you isn't a bad one. Just sayin'.

"He's not gonna make it. Animal Control's 10 minutes out. EMT's won't step foot in here until that snake's been neutralized."

Tim says it so matter-of-factly. He can accept it, but Lucy can't.

"You can't kill it." "What the hell are we supposed to do with it? Snuggle?"

Oh. My. Gosh. I so hope Lucy bought him a stuffed snake and had Rachel sneak it into his bed (and took pictures when he found it) because that would be hilarious.

Seriously, I watch this scene over and over just for that line and die laughing every time.

"Boot! Don't be a hero. It's venomous."

Clever girl. As she steps into the garage, she looks back to Tim with her, "I'm gonna do this" look. He answers with his, "I don't like this but I'm not stopping you" look. And I'm sitting here marveling at Eric Winter and Melissa O'Neil communicating so much with just .25 seconds of screentime each on that.

Tim is anxious the entire time. But he knows enough to stay out of her way, sometimes. He knows she's tough, and he knows she's capable.

"What are you doing?" "I'm texting Tim. I need a senior officer here." "No you don't. He'll just steal the credit." "Look, I am out on a limb here, okay? And as a Rookie, that could get me fired. So, either we do this by the book, or I walk."

This is how Tim trained her. Valerie is jumping into this situation without knowing how anything works. She wants the glory, but she's not putting the work in in the right way.

Lucy has worked her ass off, and she's not letting anyone take this away from her.

"Hey, thanks for coming." "Mmhmm." "I'm in trouble, aren't I?" "Mmhmm."

Lucy being the one to let me in makes me happy. Yes, she's in trouble, and she knows it. But, "when it counted" she made the right call, again, right? Yeah.

Wopez Proposal

Oh, I have future things to say about all this. This is so Wesley and Angela. And that is what matters. It's them. Each couple has their own story and path. Yes, there's a formula to television, but there isn't a form you fill out.

So whenever we get to Tim and Lucy stuff (If they get their acts together), I'm not holding out for grand speeches. Tim is a "show" guy and Lucy isn't overly flowery. They're going to do their stuff their way.

That's why we gravitate toward certain characters. These characters are unique, as are their relationships. So how they get together, propose, etc, is going to be unique to that relationship and those characters.

I think that's important to keep in mind.

Control AKA

"Sorry. We're not real cops."

Welp... this just went Meta... in a Meta. Seriously, I was rolling laughing.

"Do you think Rachel's disappointed I canceled last night?" "I don't know." ... "You might find this surprising, but we don't talk about you. Ever." "Wow."

Considering how much Lucy and Tim talk about Rachel, I can see why this would be a little surprising to Lucy. But Tim drawing hard lines makes total sense.

He isn't at a point, yet, where he needs/wants to talk about Lucy in his off-time. He gets enough of her every. single. day.

"Bradford's your TO?" "Yeah." "My condolences." "That's what everyone says."

Lucy laughs it off, but Tim does have a reputation. He's good at whipping Rookies into shape or scaring them off.

"He seems nice." "Sure." "Do you know him well?" "Play a little pick-up basketball together."

Lucy is vibing with this guy. And while I'm not ecstatic for her to find "the one" and it not be Tim, Emmett seems like a decent guy, and there's definitely some chemistry there.

"No." "What?" "No, forget it." "What?!" "Your social life is not my responsibility. I learned that lesson the hard way."

That line kills me on every watch. Because Tim used to distance himself from her solely because of his hard lines between personal life and professional. Now, Lucy is quickly becoming a friend, someone he cares about. The lines have gotten a bit more blurry.

But he still has hard lines he's not willing to cross, again. He truly believes that he overstepped and she got hurt because of it. We all know that's not what happened, but Tim has a knack for blaming himself.

"Oh my God. I am the third wheel."

This is said in such a hilarious manner, but I struggle to laugh because I genuinely hurt for Lucy. I feel like pre-DOD Lucy never would have fallen into this role. It just wouldn't have happened.

But, much as she wanted to jump right back into "normal" life, she has been changed by her experiences. They're a part of her, now, and sometimes they sneak up on her when she least expects it.

Lucy has been clinging so hard to "safe" that she's forgetting how to live.

"Chen. Grey need another team on the DEA op. You wanna put in some OT?"

Awww. He's inviting her to spend the evening with him. But, seriously, Grey needed a team, and Tim asked if she would join him. He didn't demand it. Progress!

"I mean, obviously I've been using Jackson and Sterling as a crutch. Together they kind of make the perfect boyfriend."

Tim's already rolling his eyes. He looks over, like, "Are you kidding me? because he already knows she's talking to noone.

"More importantly, they're safe-"

"Safe". That thing she wants. That thing she needs. She's just not ready to take the leap, quite yet.

Nyla and Angela tried throwing her to the wolves to get her moving, but that's not how Lucy works. Lucy needs time. She just didn't realize that in taking that time, she was encroaching on someone else's.

"Who are you talking to?" "Rachel."

You're talking to me!? Damn, and I forgot to respond. I'm so sorry.

Yes, I know it's fictional. But when you were born in the 80's and had a very popular name, you hear your name everywhere. That's why I started going by an abbreviation of my last names at age 9. I became SL (Yes, that's where Esselle came from).

"Hello?"

I'm dying. I don't think I can finish the meta because I am laughing so hard, I can barely breathe. Lucy, honey, you did not just answer the call and then say hello when he's a foot away.

"Hello."

And he said it back. Nope. Definitely can't breathe. Laughing too hard.

It makes it all the funnier that they say, "Hello" since they are both more of "hi" or "hey" people. It's so formal and that makes it all the funnier.

"Rachel is in a staff meeting, which means you are talking to no one."

In a move of synchronicity, they hang up at the same time. Love those touches, even if it's purely accidental because the script reads, "They both hang up" or something similar.

"Not no one. Me."

He's watching her, but she can't look up at him. Much as she is strong and confident in who she is, she's feeling vulnerable right now. The last time she went on a date it didn't end too well, and she's unsure of her instincts.

Nyla said she needed to be confident in her intuition... and she's not quite there, yet.

"I talk things out to process them, and I knew you wouldn't do it with me, so—" "Why would you even care what I think?"

He doesn't think his opinion holds weight beyond the badge. When he holds her fate in his hand, damn straight, his opinion matters. But beyond that? Why would she care what he thinks?

"The last time I gave you romantic advice, I pushed you towards Caleb and... you almost died."

Now he can barely look at her. The shame. The pain. He thought he was helping her blow of steam, and she ended up buried alive. He still blames himself.

He can't even look at her until he gets that last word out.

"That's, that's ridiculous."

Lucy shifts so she's fully facing Tim in the seat. Tim shakes her head, not believing her, still internalizing the guilt.

"There was no reason to expect anything. What happened- What happened wasn't your fault."

He finally looks to her, again, wanting so badly to believe her. Can she absolve him of his guilt? Find a way to forgive himself for something he never even did wrong?

He looks quickly away after their eyes meet.

"It wasn't mine, either."

Hell, no, it wasn't. No victim blaming here for psychotic assholes.

"Look, I wouldn't ask your advice if I didn't value your opinion."

Tim. Has. Value. Of course he does, but he's hearing it. It's good for him to hear it, and important that it's coming from Lucy. Because, much as he isn't ready to admit it, her opinion matters to him. So, it's nice to find out that's reciprocal.

He looks away, licking his lips as he tries to fight back the tears. He switches gears, fast.

"You can do better than Emmett."

Hell, yeah, she can! There's this guy (maybe you've heard of him) named Tim Bradford. And he's just about perfect for our girl. Well... not quite yet, but I really have a good feeling about him. You should send her his way.

"What? Why, why would you say that."

Because, girl, he's gonna marry you. (shoutout to my RoomFriends on that one!

"He's a firefighter for God's sake." "I know, he's hot!" "Okay, no. No. See, if you're gonna act all contrarian, I am done with this conversation." "I'm not being a contrarian." "You know, I-I think you're threatened by his hunkiness." "Hunkiness?" "Mmhmm." "That's not even a word."

Future Rachel has so. much. to. say. But, because we're in the past, I can't really talk too much about it. But, Tim and trying to get Lucy to admit his handsomeness is gonna be a running theme... just sayin'.

"Chen."

He comes around and the first thing he says is her name? Yes, it's Season 2. Yes, they're nowhere near that, but I can have my immature moment, right!?

"You okay?"

I don't know if there are two words combined like that he says more to her. Tim constantly needs to know that Lucy is okay.

And... that wraps it up. I think it's important that Lucy dates someone before she considers Tim, just as I'm glad Tim's not jumping right from divorce to Lucy, like Nolan did.

But I also think these episodes show a lot of growth between them, and I think Rachel helps with that. She becomes this common thread between them.

FAST FORWARD: And once she's gone, that closeness don't disappear. It's lasting. Tim and Lucy are on their journey of growing closer and closer.

I'll admit, the first two were really hard for me. Personal discomfort and whatnot. But, I'm glad I got through them, and I hope you enjoy.

Now, I gotta finish up my waiting in the parent pickup, wait anxiously to hear back about the car loan (yes, we're getting a car!), and check quotes from the 2 roofers thus far.

Thank you so much for reading! Can't wait to see you on the next.

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #The Rookie #Meta

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