#so i get basically no days where i can just completely chill out by myself. which is part of why my sleeping is so screwed up

[wispscribbles]

hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

#ask #anon ask #long post #mcd #mcd mention #major character death #mw3 spoilers #ish #few extra thoughts in tags: #sry it took a while to respond. i wanted to give a proper answer #hope this makes sense or helps somehow #and if interacting with this fandom continues to have a negative impact on your mental health then take a break #i understand using fiction as an outlet or safe space (i do it) but if the bad starts outweighing the good then try to distance yourself #don't dive into those rabbit holes that u know will make u feel bad #i understand the urge but its so important to protect yourself online #I’m far from an expert on this stuff so this is just my two cents #stay safe!!

[gingerjunhan]

boyfriend headcannons - han hyeongjun

☆彡 EEEEEEKK it’s Jun Han time! :D 🩷

word count: 690 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: YouTube like is safe!!, all caps, (Hyeongjun’s) insecurities mentioned, eating mentioned, I love him, not proofread, lmk if I missed something

← previous member | next member →

obviously, I have a lot to say

here we go

first things first, Hyeongjun shows you how he loves you instead of telling you

there was some radio interview they did one time where the other members said he doesn’t say “I love you much”

so he makes sure to physically show his appreciation for you

what’s that? you were stressed from your workload? Hyeongjun made you dinner and cleaned up your place while you were out

you’re feeling nervous about a big job interview? he got you flowers to wish you good luck

stuff like that

I also feel like someone somewhere said that Hyeongjun is really good with dates?

idk maybe I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that

but he never never forgets anything!

birthdays, anniversaries, important events- he’s there

I also think a lot about the one Knock Down Debate that they did where Hyeongjun yelled at the others because they never pick up their phones when he calls them

so hey, at least he’s good at communication in that aspect

I don’t think Hyeongjun is one for pet names

I literally cannot picture him calling someone a pet name, but I could easily be wrong

if he did I feel like they would be simple

“honey”

“love”

“sweetie”

short and sweet stuff

he gets flustered easily if you call him something though!

I feel like it would be really easy to fluster him

STOOOPP imagine Hyeongjun meeting your pets

forget about your family- let this man meet your cat

okay but fr this man is sweating buckets meeting your family

he’s afraid that they would think he’s too quiet or too boring :(

but once they get to know him and once he warms up to them that’s obviously not true!

I mean, come on, look at the way that man can shred on the guitar. there is not a boring bone in his body

he’s a kiss on the cheek typa guy

no big fancy gestures

just something cute, simple, and sweet

he actually doesn’t strike me as a big gesture guy at all?

no wait let me explain

let me cook

not big on PDA, not the best with words, and he wouldn’t feel like his acts of kindness are very big

like, he let you hold on to kkito while he was away for a few days so you wouldn’t miss him- why are you crying?

ugh I wanna squeeze him :(

he will come to you with any sort of problem no matter how big or how small

he trusts you completely

he would literally be your friend first and your boyfriend second

Hyeongjun strikes me as the type to not need affection much, but when he does he’s a little nervous to ask

“Jun, what’s wrong?”

“I need a hug.” :(

you almost don’t hear him but y’all are so close that you can figure it out

you can basically read his mind

I feel like a relationship with Hyeongjun would go slow, and that’s okay!

why mess with perfection 😉

no need to rush first kisses or first I love yous

you’re just having fun together!

HE MAKES A PLAYLIST OF SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF YOU 😭😭😭😭

“This song played in the restaurant during our first date.”

“This song was stuck in my head right before you kissed me for the first time.”

“This song was-“ STOP IT I can’t do this anymore

ALWAYS makes sure you’re taking care of yourself

making sure you eat meals and get enough rest

he’s so open minded!

I feel like he has strong opinions, but he’s chill with most things?

those two things literally cancel out but whatever

he buys clothes that he also thinks you would like in case you want to steal them 😼

pays very close attention to detail!

no new haircut or nail color goes unnoticed!

he draws little pictures of you in his sketchbook all the time :(

loving Hyeongjun is gentle, calm, and fun- like sitting in the grass on a sunny day

no pressure, no rush, just you two having fun being together 🩷

god I love him so much

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

#xdinary heroes x reader #xdinary heroes imagine #xdh x reader #xdh imagines #xdh fluff #junhan x reader

[flannelepicurean]

Yo, hey, also, if you're an anxious and/or stressed LGBTQ+ person like myself, and like little games about tasks, like Stardew Valley or My Time at Portia or stuff like that, check out Hokko Life.

It's one of those cute little "do things" games, and there are some things about it that I really, really love:

In a lot of these games, there's a set town structure and cast of characters. In Hokko, there are some keystone elements. But each save file has a different "town area" map that you get to build and expand your little town into. There are two residents to begin with, other than you and the shopkeepers in the main town area (separate), and THOSE COULD BE DIFFERENT. From what I can tell, there are at least 4 possible starter residents, and you can get different combinations per save file.

The days are looooooooooong. This is different from Stardew, for example, where you can feel really pressed to "get everything done" in one day. In Hokko, you have PLENTY of time. And you have the option to take a li'l nap at your house if you want to, so you can skip 2 hours or 6 hours without losing the whole damn day. Or just...take a lil nap.

There are NO GENDER OPTIONS in character creator. You start with the same starter outfit, and have 100% of the starter customization options. Everyone calls you "they/them." A good number of the residents are "they/them." You are just...nonbinary/gender neutral/agender. Periodt.

You are the only humanoid. Everyone else is basically stuffed animals. The first folks you meet are a pink elephant who looks like she maybe has vitiligo and a giraffe with a general store who has extremely Dad Jokes Energy. There are all kinds of other interesting animal folks with different personalities. My game has a green emo/skater pig who seems like they might be a stoner and possibly vegan. Definitely cares about their carbon footprint.

Everything is SO CHILL. There's not really energy to manage or anything, you don't get hungry, you don't have to run around making sure you talk to everybody enough so you don't get less popular. Even if you fail a task for a resident...nothing bad happens. Or at least, that I can tell so far. Just like, whoops. Couldn't find that fish. Oh well. I can make you that paint, though. No worries. All good.

When you DO complete tasks, you get clothing items. And like...the first one I got was a "striped skirt" or something. And I was like, "Oh, that looks kinda-sorta-almost like a nonbinary pride flag. Cool." And then I got some yellow shoes, and a red jacket. And then a "Happy Knit Sweater," which was DEFINITELY ABSOLUTELY a trans pride flag pattern! And then a tee shirt with rainbow sleeves and a rainbow pocket? So like...THEY GIVE YOU LGBTQ+ PRIDE MERCH FOR YOUR LI'L NONBINARY PAL. And then I realized I very much had trans flag wallpaper in my house. 😂 I freaking love this.

You can MAKE YOUR OWN FURNITURE. There's a whole subset of customization and item creation where you can just...design your own furniture and decorative items from almost scratch. You unlock sets of shapes for the crafting & design table, and then you can go into a 3D design space and just...put some wooden spheres together however you want! Add a leaf shape! Put a brass "7" on it! Go crazy! And then you get to save your design and you can craft it again later if you want to make more, or sell them. It just...becomes an item in your game.

The music is super chill. Because of course.

The fishing system is good, for the way I like to play. It's very easy to see the fish, it's very easy to know when you need to "hook/catch," and following the system to reel in is easy to understand. It requires a little effort, it's not an auto-catch, but it's not stressful. It's a TASK, but not a HEADACHE. And you can do it without bait and still be fine.

There's a whole entire thing around catching butterflies. You can just frolic around all day in your pride-wear catching butterflies if you want. It's lovely.

You can save and exit at any point. SUPER IMPORTANT. Can't tell you how many times I've felt some stress about like, "AAAARRRGGGHHH, I have to get to a good spot to stop this Stardew day, or just start over again..." Nah. Hokko, you just hit escape, "Save & Exit." When you load up again, you'll be in your house, with the same stuff on hand/in your backpack.

I actually kinda also like that there doesn't seem to be a romance component? Like, that's neat and all when it is available, but I don't always want the townsfolk coming onto me just because I've given them sufficient eggs or whatever. I might have needed to do those quests to advance the plot, or get a new shovel or something. And maybe I'm not actually down to clown, homie.

Anyway, I'm thoroughly enjoying this game. Got it in the Steam Sale. I think it's not crazy expensive even regular price? My one issue that I'm running into is that the wiki for it is like...zero content. Or just not much in-depth stuff beyond the very bare basics for some of it. So when I want info or hit a snag, I been using Duck Duck Go on that biz, or hitting the Steam Forums. Not the worst thing in the world.

#game recommendations #game recc #hokko life #little tasks for little townsfolk genre #lol #my fave #similar to #stardew valley #my time at portia #but way more chill #lgbtqia #lgbtq+ #pride flags #nonbinary #first default gender neutral character creator i've seen #item creation #really cool system for that #good fishing mechanics #gotta have a good fishing minigame #that's a must for me #frolicking #also you naruto run when you dash #it's freaking adorable

[melvinpsychoteddy]

cu crew pt2

@dib-thing-wannabe ehehe.... guess who's in this part? i made him super flirty because why not :]

explanation for the differences between dib and my au is in the tags!

"So you want us to leave our 2 cats outside just for this boy you're inviting over? Well... I don't know, George." George's mom sighed.

"Please, ma! I need this! I really wanna impress him, and he's allergic!"

"Oh, allergic you say? Well, I'll just go wander with them, okay hun?" She caves in, softly smiling.

"YES! Thanks mom, you're the best ever!" George's day is lit up, his mom taking the 2 cats outside, perfect timing as Melvin arrives.

"Hey George..." he says, seeming a little tense. "A-are your cats here? I really don't wanna--"

"They're outside, don't worry!" he smiles.

After about 30 minutes, George's storytelling turned into flirting. Melvin was secretly loving it. He was being praised and spoiled with kisses all over, his face completely red by now.

What George wanted was to make him feel so good he wouldn't be able to talk correctly. He needed confidence. Then... an idea came to mind.

"Hey, honey--" Melvin gasped quietly. Did he just call him that? "Have I told you about Flaming Ink and Polar Painter?"

Melvin giggles. Well, it was fun while it lasted. "Yes, multiple times, why?"

"I told you about how Flaming Ink has amazing charm, right?"

"U-uhm, yeah?"

"I gotta show you something, then."

---

"Alright, George, what's the surprise?" Melvin hums, covering his eyes.

"Oh, it's nothing... and I'm Flaming Ink, pretty stranger." Oh god, his voice was deeper. Melvin felt chills go up his spine.

"W-wow..." Melvin gulps. "Can I open my eyes now, uhm... Flaming Ink?"

"Of course."

Little did Flaming Ink know, Harold was watching them. Well, actually, Polar Painter was. "Bleh. He's being flirty." he huffs. "He has to make a move already, I think Melvin's getting cold."

Back to them, Flaming Ink smiled, Melvin's eyes widening because, oh my god, George was picking him up like a princess. "O-oh! Uhm, thank you for holding me, Flaming Ink!" he blushes. Flaming smiles.

"Always." He says. "I think you're the prettiest stranger I've ever had to rescue, stranger. What's your name?" he comments, still not putting Melvin down.

"Oh, my name's Melvin," he giggles, somehow being embarrassed by his name. "I-it's not a very pretty name, and I don't think I'm as pretty as you're making me out to be, dear hero."

"Nonsense! You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen!" Flaming Ink scoffs. "Say, you wanna know what I do with pretty things, Melvin?"

"What do you do with them?" he says, a bit nervous.

"I take them all for myself." he whispers in his ear, before picking him up, Polar getting out of the bush.

"H-hey!?" Melvin blushes, Flaming Ink running off to god knows where with him. He tries to wriggle out of his grasp but god is Flaming strong.

"HEY!!"

Flaming groans. Polar's always here to ruin his fun. "WHAT DO YOU WANT!? THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!"

"LET HIM GO!!" Polar runs faster, Flaming speeding up more.

"HE'S MINE! I GOT TO HIM FIRST, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!" Flaming yells back, turning in an unexpected place and managing to lose Polar.

Melvin's in awe. Why? Well, first of all, his speed was basically inhuman so of course Polar wouldn't be able to keep up well, secondly, the fact that he's doing all this for him. He might be a little evil, Melvin isn't sure yet, but Melvin kind of likes it, and third of all, that was amazing.

Flaming pants as they stay in an alleyway, to take a breather, but he's still holding Melvin tightly. "You can let me go now, you know?" Melvin hugs him, something new for Flaming Ink.

"Mmn... no," Flaming really doesn't want to let go, he's clingy and this boy is beautiful, so why should he let go? He could lose him. "You're so pretty..." Flaming whispers in his ear again and hugs him tighter, his voice kind of tired and raspy now, making Melvin even more flustered and tense.

"Y-your voice..." he squeaks. "It sounds different."

"Oh," Flaming says casually. "It gets like that when I'm tired. Do... you like it like this?"

"I guess you could say that?" Melvin laughs, but goes fully silent as Flaming stares at him, then Melvin realizes that he's still hugging him. "You can let go now."

"But there's someone trying to take you from me..." Flaming hisses. "We should hide."

"Oh, uh-" Melvin's already getting picked up again, Flaming back with his speed, running off toward the school. "FLAMING!?"

"Yeah?"

"The school's full at this hour!"

"No matter! We can just hide somewhere else, then! Any ideas?"

"Uhm, well--" Melvin can't finish his sentence as Flaming is tackled by Polar, Melvin rolling on the ground for a little bit, vision blurry for a couple seconds and glasses somehow perfectly fine.

"GOT YOU! Stop trying to kidnap people!" Polar says, before getting up and helping Melvin. Flaming's eyes widen as he thinks that Polar's trying to take the ginger away from him.

"P-Polar look behind you," Melvin advises, Flaming behind Polar, ready to punch him.

"H-huh? WH--" Polar is interrupted by a sharp punch to the face, his nose broken and bleeding. "WHAT THE HELL, MAN!?" Polar yells at Flaming, on the ground, Melvin in shock at how he managed to break Harold's nose in just one punch, and also that he's making people bleed over him.

"Leave," Flaming growls at him. "He's mine."

"I don't want him!" Polar huffs. "I want you to quit taking people against their will! Did he ever say yes to anything you did!?"

"Not verbally, but I just know that he wants this!" Flaming remarks, pushing Polar. "Now, do you want me to break some other bones, or are we clear?" he hisses.

"...Fine." Polar sighs, having to cave in. "But don't hurt anyone else."

"Mhm. I've only got my eyes on the prize, don't worry." he looks back at Melvin, who's slightly trembling in fear for Harold's health and also because he's realizing that, hey, I did just get kidnapped, didn't I?

Polar knew he was lying when he said he wouldn't come back with help. But for now... he'd let Flaming have his fun.

As Polar left, Flaming stuck out his hand for Melvin to hold, wiping the blood off his glove. "You wanna go to that treehouse over there?"

"Uhm... okay!"

hope you guys ejoyed! sorry for how long it is, i wanted to cram a lot into this part :)

the next part will probably be just as long lol

#cu crew #captain underpants #melvin sneedly #george x melvin #melvin x george #george beard #harold hutchins #flaming ink #polar painter #they are a little different in my au #flaming ink and george can switch whenever they please #flaming ink doesn't really like being out if it's not superhero stuff though sooooo george gets most of the time

[suuuupernovaaa]

syä’ä

syä’ä [ˈsjæ.ʔæ] adj. bitter

Anonymous Request: Can I request a Tonowari imagine with his female mate who has just started seeing him and she is a very strong person who keeps everything to herself like her feelings, stresses and worries in general and relies on herself for everything and only trusts herself and over time Tonowari realises this and brings it up with her one day and she gets defensive and angry at him before pushing him away aggressively and leaving him alone in their home? [Request cut short for space].

In this story, Tonowari and Jake are both early 20s, and have been lifelong friends.

If I had to pick one word to describe our clan, it would maybe be 'harmonious' or possibly 'joyful', maybe 'peaceful'.

Basically, our people were a happy people. Our clan was tight-knit, supportive, and our daily work was meaningful, as were the relationships we formed with the wildlife around us.

Most Metkayina were full of joy. I tried to be the same, but found it difficult.

My father was the only bitter and hateful man in the clan, and no one was really sure why. Some whispered that he hadn't gotten the woman he wanted, some whispered of an illness in his mind, but I had long stopped caring the reason why.

Especially now that he was dead.

What mattered was how his bitterness had effected me. His mate, my mother, had died young, leaving just he and I. And though the clan was supportive, and we were surrounded by help and happiness, something about having such an unstable father had caused me to feel isolated and lonely as a child, and as I grew, I distanced myself from most people around me.

Tonowari was the closest person to me, and yet still, I was never completely sure of him. I had said yes to being his mate, and I had been truly happy around him for quite some time but... something was missing.

It was as if I was waiting for the facade to fall. I was waiting for Tonowari to turn his back on me, to become angry, harsh and bitter, because that was all I really knew from the men I had lived with.

After a long and particularly frustrating day, the kind of day where many small inconveniences add up to create one large problem, I return home in a terrible mood.

Tonowari is already there, sharpening his spear as something cooks over the fire. It smells amazing, but my mood is so sour that I have no real interest in eating.

With a sigh, I hang up my net and spear, and sit down across the pod from my mate.

"What troubles you?" he asks, his voice light and his handsome brow furrowed.

"I'm fine, Tonowari," I reply, but there is an edge to my voice, just a little bite, and I feel guilty immediately. It isn't Tonowari's fault, and he's only trying to help, but the thought of burdening him with my complaining sends chills down my spine.

I had not been allowed to complain, growing up. It was a grave error I'd only made once.

"Tell me, Y/N," Tonowari replies, stepping closer and holding out a plate of food.

"I'm not hungry. Thank you."

"Y/N, why do you never... talk to me?" he asks.

"We are talking now."

He sets the plate of food down, and kneels down in front of me. "We talk, but never about anything important. You never tell me how you feel, what you are thinking. You never confide in me when you are upset. You keep me far away." He places his hand over his heart. "I want you to let me in."

A mixture of absolute panic and anger bubbles up inside of me, and I rise to my feet. "You do not know what you ask, Tonwari!" I reply, and before I can say anything I regret further, I exit our pod so that I can cry in peace and quite.

--

Tonowari tosses the fishing net out and sighs. "I don't know, Jake. Every time I try to really talk to her, it ends in a fight."

Jake rubs his hand over his mouth, thinking. "Well... wasn't her father sort of, abusive?"

Tonowari watches the net sink, then turns to look at his friend. "He was a cold and hard man. He found this life unfair. Y/N barely speaks of him, but there is talk. Talk that he was harsh to her, unfeeling and mean."

"Yeah, I had an old man like that too. It can really mess you up. She's probably worried if she, you know, bothers you, you'll get unfeeling and mean too."

Tonowari holds the weight of his net in his hand, staring out at the early evening son, and begins to see his mate in a new light.

--

When he returns home that evening, Y/N is there already, by the fire, preparing a meal that looks very large.

He knows this means she's sorry, but 'sorry' isn't something she says often. Now he wonders, what did her father do to her when she apologized?

Enough is enough, he decides, and without a word, he kneels down before his mate and pulls her hands away from their busy task, holding them in his.

She turns, eyes wide, and stares at him.

"I am going to speak, and you are going to listen, just for a moment," Tonowari says, his voice shaking only a little. "I want to apologize to you, Yawne. I don't know the full extent of what your father has done to you, but I do know that he was a bitter, angry, terrible man. And that has hurt you. I can't change that, but I can spend every day of our life together showing you that I am not him. Do you know how much joy I find in you? How happy I am to see you every day? You could never burden me, or anger me so much that I would harm you, or do anything to make me stop loving you and caring for you."

He scoots a little closer to her, and places her palms on his chest.

"I will never grow tired of you. I will never think less of you. I will always be a safe place for you, Yawne, and a safe place for our children. They will be raised with all the love and joy that you did not have, but should have. I promise you this."

He sees the tears in her eyes, and they are reflected in his.

She moves her hands up to his shoulders, and grips tightly. "I had a hard day yesterday, Tonowari. I... it wasn't one thing, it was many small, very annoying things, that added up to be one big, terrible day. And all I wanted to do when I got home was tell you about it, but I thought you might tell me to stop complaining, that no one will ever walk to talk to me if I complain so much."

Tonowari grabs her waist, shaking his head. "Did your father say this to you?"

She nods.

"I would listen to you complain all night, if you wanted to. I would listen to anything you have to say." Tonowari's heart swells; this is the most she has ever divulged to him, and he can tell how difficult it is for her. He wants to tread lightly, to not push too hard. "My love for you is unconditional, Y/N. You don't have to earn it by behaving a certain way, or saying the right things. You can just be yourself."

She falls forward into his arms, and he holds her tightly to his chest. Though she's quiet, he can feel the sobs shaking her body, so small compared to his. Slowly, he pulls her down so they are laying together, and her head is on his chest. He feels her breathing slow as she calms down, and he runs his fingers through her thick hair.

"I won't push you too hard, Y/N. I know I have been pushing you. I just want you to feel safe, to know that you can trust me."

She looks up at him with red eyes and wet cheeks, but there is something about the look on her face... she looks relaxed, he realizes. Y/N is always so tense, and right now, she isn't. She's tired, and she's relaxed. He hopes it means she feels safe here with him.

"Thank you, Tonowari. I am... grateful for you."

He leans down, pressing a soft, warm kiss to her forehead. "Sleep now. You're tired. We will talk more anytime you want to."

Within minutes, she's asleep. Tonowari stays awake as long as he can, holding her tightly, thanking Eywa for the gift of this perfect mate.

#tonowari #tonowari x reader #tonowari fic #avatar twow #daddy

[fazedlight]

Hi! Sorry if this is too personal, feel free to ignore if that's the case. I'm just interested in talking about queer, esp bi/pan, experiences.

I'm a fellow bisexual and one of my gripes with society at large and the LGBTQ+ community especially is that I often feel like people only see my attraction to same-gender people and erase the fact that I'm also attracted to people of other genders. It has gotten better over the years, but when I was a teenager I even referred to myself as homosexual with exceptions because I only felt welcome in the lesbian community when I denounced all attraction to men and I thought that if I didn't find a home in the lesbian community, I wouldn't be at home anywhere because bisexuality was so heavily erased and mostly seen as a joke or as a half-assed stepping stone to coming out as gay. I'm also not helping my case by being married to a person of the same gender, though I continue to insist that being married to one person of one gender does not make my attractions to other genders invalid.

Most other bisexuals I know have similar experiences to mine on account of either being in a same-gender relationship or single but still defined by their same-gender attraction. From what I've gathered from your profile (and sorry if I'm wrong!), you're married to a person not of the same gender. What are your experiences like? Do people erase your attraction to same-gender people? Does the LGBTQ+ community read your relationship as "straight-passing" and if so, do they take kindly to that? (I'm thinking of sentiments like no "straight" people at pride that completely ignore that people who look "straight" to you might still be queer in so many ways.)

Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

Oh boy, anon, let me tell you, I know a LOT of bi/pan people in your shoes.

This got a bit long, so I'll put my answer below the cut.

My experience these days is pretty chill (I'll get to that), but when I was a baby bi, I remember attending a bi-themed event at our LGBT group in college. I was the only bisexual to show up, and ended up spending over an hour answering questions from people basically grilling me on how bisexuals could even exist. To this day I wish I had just walked out instead of spending all that time being so stressed. It scared me off doing community stuff for a long time, unless I had people around me who I knew.

I've been pretty lucky with queer friends, though - bi/pan people, but also gay and ace - who really saw me. So throughout college and now, my friends' group and the sort of general/informal queer social circles I've run in have been very accepting.

I was never particularly feminine (have never bought makeup, have never owned heels, haven't owned a dress since before I started dating my now-spouse, haven't shaved since freshman year of college, etc). I've always leaned towards men's clothes, and then I started buzzcutting my hair into a short crew cut. I also have a man's wedding band.

Because of all that, I get read as queer in public. It's to the point where, when I start a new job, I can see the looks of confusion when I mention my husband. When people see a butch, they expect a lesbian - so I create a lot of confusion, and they kind of have to accept that I am both queer and have a husband. (I wouldn't be surprised if some of them think I'm confused about my sexuality, but none have made that my problem so far.)

But I feel like the femme bi/pan experience - which is far more common, I feel like butches are fairly rare in my circles whether lesbian or bi - receive much more bullshit from people. Because it's easier to be femme and "look straight", and so femmefolk get written off, even though they're equally valid.

I will say that I think online spaces can feel a bit erasing. Like there's a lot of thirstposting in online culture, but it feels like breaking an unspoken rule to thirstpost about both male and female celebrities*, or to talk about sex with men and women. It always makes me facepalm a bit when people call Claire Max a lesbian, when she's been very clear that (1) she is bi, and (2) she is currently dating both a man and a woman and has even been dating the man (Kyle) for longer. It really saddened me a month ago when an artist who draws a lot of wlw art talked about how people gave her shit for drawing m/f art, too. She shouldn't have to segregate her art to two accounts. (*I think there are also often unspoken rules about nonbinary people, in identity-erasing ways. But that's a rant for another post.)

I've been lucky to not really encounter those erasure problems in IRL queer spaces in recent history - possibly because the ones I've been in have been heavily mixed on the gender/sexuality spectrum.

I feel like a lot of this is very dependent on local norms. I think the more conservative an area is, the harder it is for people to embrace anyone who doesn't fit cleanly into 2 categories. That goes for male/female/nonbinary, straight/gay/bi, top/bottom/vers, etc. It turns out the "fuzzy" categories are actually VERY common. But binaries are easier for people to grasp.

But I feel like I've rambled on enough. In short, these days, I think my butchness & my local context both sort of shield me from some of the common bi problems. Which is lucky for me, but is absolutely a bullshit thing about culture that we all should work on fixing.

You're valid as a bi person, regardless of who you're in a relationship with (or not in a relationship with).

#anonymous #asks #reblogs off

[hell-drabbles]

Just read the eldritch reader and non Solomon reader post

I love both ideas!

I've been meaning to ask

Does Ra-on exist in Eldritch au?

If not/if so

How would/how does it affect the eldritch au

How would/How does Ra-on's existence impact the eldritch au and how would/does Solomon feel about his descendant

Also I enjoy the idea of a reader that got dragged into hell with Ra-on and has to be the one that beats non-horny common sense into their brain

I've been working on a little thing myself

One of the comics in WHB implies there are/were multiple descendants of Solomon and the angels there hunting them all done

So I currently have a version of Whb reader/oc that's another descendent of Solomon and was dragged into hell by like Asmodeus or Belphegor and due to circumstances the rest of the kings/hell hasn't met them yet

Their like a parody of Ra-on I guess or just the complete opposite of Ra-on

Made them a exorcist and wears priest robes even though they don't care for religion all that much

They don't engage with sexual stuff with the demons all that much and even if they do it's very rare and they won't let the demons do what they want to them

They decide what they themself what the demons to do

Overall their not too serious

Kinda really chill humour not giving a crap about stuff but also sobers up enough to be serious in situations

Still fleshing them out

-Dante Anon

Hmm let's see, initially I was going to have it where Ra-on does exist at all, but since I wanted the Eldritch to actually be known to the angels, I have it where, when the angels initially rounded up their armies to go on a killing spree for all the descendants and the friends close to them, all those angels suspiciously went missing without a trace.

Well, they all returned. As one fused mass of feathers, limbs, and faces.

Simply put, Solomon's bloodline became pretty much a taboo subject in Heaven because of that. But, Gabriel being Gabriel, decided to test out the waters since it's been years since this happened and went after the weakest descendant, one that nobody would really miss. A truly useless existence.

So, Ra-on does exist but the family is still alive. And Ra-on is still pretty much a slob and gets kicked out of the house on multiple occasions so that they're forced to do something that's not watching porn at home all day. Of course, Ra-on just goes over to Minhyeok's house to watch porn there instead.

So, Gabriel shows up, looks around for this being that caused that twisted mass but cannot find them no matter how far he traveled. So, while he's disappointed that his first hunt had to be done this carefully, he figured he may as well have some entertainment in the years of hiding they've all been doing.

And so he marks Ra-on with his blood and basically threatens them to run. Really, nothing more than a warmup toy. Though before Gabriel can call forth the others, Eldritch pops out of Hell and snatches Ra-on up. Hence kick-starting the whole invasion of Hell because their scent was more familiar than anything. And the Eldritch Inheritor is more than welcoming this challenge. It's all so fun for them. That and this will keep the angels eyes away from the humans on earth.

Oh, and because of Solomon's unusual "death" so to speak, Ra-on does not have any sort of magical perk from being a part of his bloodline. Ra-on just have the looks and that's about it. Nothing really remarkable about them and this causes Ra-on stay in Hell to be... kind of painful, in a way.

And by that I mean Ra-on not getting railed like he wants. The devils aren't really as eager to fuck Ra-on, if at all, beyond just liking sex in general. It's a necessity so they're just having fun with it and that's about it. Ra-on wants the sex but also wants an emotional connection. Basically those one-night stands that clearly shouldn't be doing one-night stands because they want a romantic relationship alongside it.

Solomon is right there, inside the Eldritch's body and can come out anytime he pleases! Why would they look at Ra-on?

So yeah, in this au, Ra-on will have to deal with a lot of loneliness and general feelings of isolation, and that nasty, naaaasty jealousy. Ra-on finally has an exciting change to his stagnant life, but then Ra-on's put right back into this life of unable to make connections, keep anyone close for long, and is just made to feel aware of how socially stunted they really are.

Solomon, in this AU, doesn't really the strongest of feelings towards Ra-on, just saddened that they have to go through this because of him. Will probably ask his dearest Eldritch not to scare Ra-on too much, but does know he's powerless to stop them from intentionally drawing out the worst sides out of Ra-on. Solomon may not want to see it, but he also knows that the Eldritch finds beauty in this flawed side of humanity.

Truly, Solomon's faith towards the Eldritch Reader is unwavering.

#admin #eldritch inheritor au #dante.anon

[cripple-council]

6h late to the rant but OH GOD this is gonna be a nightmare of a semester from gym class alone

yesterday (monday) I was tryna participate in gym class cuz despite being disabled I typically don't mind most gym activities, but heres a thing with whatever specific chronic pain I have: I won't realize I pushed my physical breaking point until it's way too late. Like I'll be chilling and then suddenly the worst migrane will hit, followed by my entire body simotaniously wanting to spasm and being unable to move due to the intense pain. To the point that when I asked the gym teacher to sit out (which he let me do no problem cuz he knew my issues) I could barely walk to the outside of the gym (where my friends were cuz one was recovering from a panic attack) and once I got out there I was basically unable to move due to a mix of having to stand still as for my body to not completely go haywire and because more movement = more pain. At some point both me & the friend who was sitting out cuz panic attack both ended up laying on the floor cuz they were lightheaded and my body was about to either go haywire or tense up enough to where I couldn't move so I wanted to atleast be on the ground just incase, and while the friend who was lightheaded got actual help from the 2 other friends sitting out for no reason I was just given a bunch of shitty jokes and sarcastic "are you okay?"s and after admitting that I genuinely wasn't okay (as if me going on about the fact that my body was doing everything wrong at once wasn't a major hint that HEY I WASN'T FINE.) the only one who rlly stepped up to help me was the friend I was the closest too and she helped me sit up and attempted to get a tylenol from the office for me (couldn't because I had to be there to get it. bad thing to say when the "I" in question is currently unable to walk but that secretary just seems to want me dead for being crippled anyways) while the other 2 friends were too busy making jokes abt how they wanted to fuck eachother to even glance over at me. Fastforward a bit and gym ends, gym teacher helps me stand up, friend who had to sit out cuz of a panic attack talks to gym teacher abt stuff I didn't care to eavesdrop on and I barely manage to get in and out of that changing room. my body still feels like its pain-burning (like. its almost like a burning feeling but without the heat and just the pain) today and I'm debating just missing school today cuz of this. fuck my dumbass body's inability to know when to stop until its too late and fuck Kat & Quade who couldn't get their eyes off eachother for a second to try and give a shit about another human being

honestly can’t really imagine what it’s like to have ablebodied friends as a physically disabled person, well i have one but they’re incredibly helpful, and it must be so disappointing to have your ‘friends’ ignore you like that. i’m truly sorry that you had to experience that & you deserve so much better.

you truly think that your friends will be there, and when they’re not, it’s really hard to grasp honestly. like, do you not care?? (you as in the friends).

i’ve had many one sided friendships where i’ve had to do all the work, while getting nothing in return myself. it truly feels like a betrayal.

i’m incredibly happy to be surrounded by physically disabled friends, because in a special way, i can ALWAYS rely on them. there are days where their issues are worse than mine, or they are hindered by their physical disability so they can’t help with something; but they will always think about how they can help in case they can’t help in a specific way. it’s just a completely other experience than with able bodied ppl.

i truly hope you’ll get surrounded by more physically disabled people in your life, it’s a game changer.

much love to you, and i with a low pain/symptoms day for you! (and otherwise, the ability to manage the pain/symptoms)💚

#ask

[zehecatl]

2024 media thread part JANUARY :D

1st January: Super Mario Bros. Movie

finally got around to watching this, and okay, yeah- it was a lot better than i expected. a good time! really fun to watch! it definitely felt like actual fans worked on it, or at the very least, that Nintendo kept a real close eye during production. loooved the little nods to canon; when Pauline showed up, i literally paused to excitedly tell my mom about who that was, haha. also LOVED the difference uses of power ups!! tanuki suit AND cat suit my beloved :]

Bowser was definitely the high point, like!! that IS my little guy!! Jack Black did SUCH a good job, and man. the ANIMATION. the bits where he got all snarly was SO good. would have loved to watch those on the big screen. Luigi was also very Luigi, which i always appreciate. Mario was... eh? not bad! Chris Pine did an okay job, and while i would have preferred something more, it was... fine. and Donkey Kong was a whole lot of fun, actually? tempted to check out his games, because i did really like him

meanwhile, my BIG BIG complaint, is Peach. like, holy fuck. they absolutely butchered my girl! like, yes- as characters, none of them have a lot of personality to work with, but they're archetypes. you're supposed to push within the archetypes- they even did this with Mario. but they just- they completely abandoned who Peach is, as a character. straight up just wrote Daisy instead, which is. really frustrating! and i dislike it A LOT, because there is so much you can do with Peach as a character, and they didn't even try

but otherwise- fun movie! could have been so much worse!

4th January: Outpath

really relaxing and chill game, where you basically just run around collecting resources, upgrading stuff, and unlocking more island. definitely one of those 'put on some music and zone out for a bit' games. that is not a negative

really liked the graphics, and it was fun to just- run around? you get more movement upgrades as you go along, and it actually plays really nicely. also some tasty environmental sounds

i'm not a 100% done with it yet, but i hit the end credits, so. not sure i'll get all the achievements, but i do intent to go back and clean up some loose ends. also really like how it incorporates some idle elements, like you still getting credits(/money) while being offline. makes it more rewarding to open it up and vibe for a bit

i do think there was an.. attempt? at some kind of story, but i entirely missed it, so i guess that's my only real critic. it was just a fun chill game to sink like, 25 hours into lol

9th January: Momodora: Reverie Under The Moonlight

i've had this game in my library for literally who knows how long, and it's one i've always been aware of, since it was really big back in the day, and oh my god. oh my god, why did i not play this sooner?

it's rather short, took me around 7 hours, but it just- it nails what it wants to be, this tough little game with so much moodiness and tragedy, and i'm so enamoured. i tried playing the original one before this, but it wasn't quite hitting, but man. this one just. it hit so fucking good

there's so many layers here, so many unspoken little details. so so much tragedy you could really dig your fingers into, and as a Tragedy Enjoyer, ooooh it hits good

i'm considering either replaying it myself, or watching a LP and then writing some fic, because there is a little thing hiding here, something i want to put words to. it's good, can't wait to check out the rest, and the upcoming sequel/finale. also, the game is gorgeous

18th January: Switch OVA

so Switch is a two episode long 'adaptation' of a manga, and while it very much just drops you into the middle of the plot, it- works? like, i personally wasn't missing anything, and the case they chose to adapt works really well as a teaser for the manga, because i did leave it considering checking out the manga, and while the whole thing isn't anything to write home about, i did enjoy myself

(i also watched the whole thing on my phone, curled up in bed, so that did maybe increase my enjoyment. it was cozy! what can i say!)

funnily enough, i did walk into this thinking it was a yaoi, and while i don't think it is, there really was nothing to disprove me of this assumption. there's literally a moment where protag guy gets told 'he likes' the other protag guy, and he bLUSHES. LIKE. STRAIGHT OUT OF A YAOI FR FR

all in all, it was honestly just a really cozy time. it wasn't long enough to lose my interest, and there was enough in it to keep it- and i really like the design of the red haired guy! very simple, but really appealing too. i genuinely might check out the manga, my interest is definitely piqued

#media thread #just realised it's feb so DROPS THIS

[kendrixtermina]

Distinguishing 5 vs 9

(This started out as a reply but then I realized that it should be its own post/ could be helpful to more ppl than just the recipient or my usual blog readers)

It’s worth noting that a 9-fixed 5 can absolutely present as somewhat “soft”, shy and/or conflict avoidant, and that 9s can absolutely come off very philosophical & intellectual, especially if they’re, like, Ne aux. Also, as both are in the withdrawn triad there would genuinely be shared behavior patterns. 

That said, for this one there’s 3 good litmust test questions:

a) “What do you do when you’re talked at unexpectedly or suddenly asked if you can do an errand for someone”.

The more randomly the better cause that way one is more likely to just respond on automatic.

Basically, (& this has been confirmed to me by numerous accounts) the 9 is much more likely to humor the rando for a while or get sidetracked from whatever they were meaning to do, even if they may be annoyed or kick themselves for it afterward. “WTF did I agree to this? I thought I was chill with this but actually it does bother me/ piss me off... ” are common types of experiences. Priority sorting is not a strenght or at least takes deliberate effort.

A 5 generally would kneejerk default to either excusing themselves immediately (”ivegottogodosomething”) or limiting the scope of the interaction once minimum politeness has been served. They’d tend to have their priorities immediately present (”If I say yes to this now then I might not be able to do what I wanted to do this afternoon...  ugh theres never enough time...”) - they would be far less likely to agree to something they don’t wanna do & if they did, it would be the result of a considered deliberate decision. (often of the form of ”lets meet my quota for now so they’ll shut up about it & let me be”)

b) “Are you a forgiving person?”

This isn’t always conclusive but often if you ask this the person will say something that clinches it one way or another.

9s can and do disappear on ppl sometimes but generally letting go on old attachments can be a struggle & they’d rather get along if the option exists &  might be the sort of ppl who’d prefer to at least forgive inwardly for their own peace of mind, & will at least generally give ppl the benefit of the doubt, second chances etc.

5s may actually tend toward keeping grudges.  You only see that mentioned in a few sources because it doesn’t fit the general stereotype. (that, and because, unless pushed, they’d simply avoid whoever slighted or angered them, so maybe only their spouse or their bestie knows that they loathe that guy from work.)

- not every individual does, because it doesn’t seem worth the drama or, they’re trying to be objective about it etc. but even then there still tends to be a “once you’re out, you’re out” policy - not generally the sorts to stay friends with their exes.

c) When someone’s trying to type themselves: “What degree of inner running commentary do you have? How much do you “interpret” your experience moment to moment?”

Specifically in a random every day situation like walking down a street, not a setting where everyone would get their thinky gears spinning, like trying to solve a task oriented problem.

None too long ago I came by this excellent writeup on “how to write a 9 as a 1st person POV character” (by a 9 writer)

Especially this bit here:

I wouldn't use metaphors/similes if I were writing myself as a close POV. If I'm watching a sunset or enjoying a flower or something, I'm not cataloging, comparing, capturing, or evaluating it, I'm just experiencing its existence as itself. For something pleasant, my thoughts might momentarily narrow to the equivalent of a long, satisfied sigh.

That’s honestly a little hard for me to imagine.

For contrast, this here is a 5 - and you can tell from the last paragraph that they are probably 9-fixed.  (The person didn’t know their type yet, so this is an almost completely untainted account) As you see, it’s almost the total opposite.

Which is super fascinating when you think about cause those 2 types can be among the most similar as far as outward behavior goes, especially if you grab yourself 2 specimens of the same mbti, yet at the same time the inner experience is night and day. 

What’s especially striking is how the experience of being struck by beauty leads this person to a lowering of activity rather than an increase of it. (I’m guessing this may be common for all the head types & gut types respectively. Some 3s, 2s or 4s please describe their experience of The Pretty for me so I can complete the set)

Earlier today I was sent a picture that made me go  “Wow this is so beautiful actually” though it was, like, a half eaten apple sent to me for the humor of eating it differently than expected.

But because it had been eaten from the top, & the core had this five-rayed structure, almost like a star, that isn’t visible when you cut it like normal, mostly cutting into the core from the sides.

I realized that it is from the structure of the flower - apple blossoms have 5 petals and of course the inner structure of the flower, the stamens, the ovary etc. also has that star-like symmetry and the fruit grows out of the inner parts of the flower. So there was an echo of a long-faded flower in that apple.

I suppose a star shape is pretty in and of itself, but much of me response came from superimposed layers of interpretation, not cause a half eaten apple is so appealing on a sensory level.

#enneagram #enneagram 9 #9w1 #9w8 #5w6 #5w4 #enneagram 5

[morroodle]

Morro's Redemption

Morro deserved a redemption so now I'm giving him one. I love playing with morro redemption stories and this is how they generally go though the circumstances differ (I have so many aus help me). I'm calling this my Morro redemption au but note that it's not one consistent story and there will be plot holes and contradictions when I eventually decide to make more. Bonus this is the au where all my headcannons come from/can go

Requested by @dontlookforme00

It starts when he's possessing Lloyd. Being in his head, Morro has a chance to see some of Lloyd's memories and thoughts, and he starts to understand. Lloyd is just a kid. Lloyd never wanted to be the green ninja, nor did he do any work to get that title. He was forced into this role and has been hurt because of it when he never deserved any of this. It's not his fault, and Morro's anger towards him fades.

Just as Morro can see some of what's going on in Lloyd's head, Lloyd gets a peak at Morro's brain too, and he starts to understand. Morro was a kid, alone and scared and unloved. He was desperate to be a good student, to somehow repay the man who showed him kindness. When he was told he could be the green ninja he was filled with hopes and dreams and for the first time someone thought of him as something more than a street rat. He would be the best green ninja possible and make Wu so proud! He would be a great hero and make people safe and happy! When the day came and the weapons didn't react he was crushed. He thought he had done something wrong, that he had failed his dad master, that he really was just a worthless street rat. He had to prove destiny wrong, he just had to. He would do anything to prove that he was the green ninja, that he was a good student and not a waste of Wu's time. He got himself killed like that, desperate to prove himself to the person who loved him most.

*vague plot timeskip* this isn't actually one solid au so basically anything can happen here, heck even day of the departed can still happen. All that matters is for whatever reason he's stuck with the ninja/wu in the monastery.

Morro regrets what he's done and he hates himself for it. He wanted to be a hero, to help people and protect ninjago, how the hell did he end up like this? He still carries the aggression learned in the cursed realm, and tends to hide in his room, avoiding Wu most of all. It takes time but eventually him and Lloyd get to talking (replace with Cole for a slightly different situation). Morro apologizes, and they talk about the green ninja prophecy and how it affected them (see above, trauma bonding woo). There are tears and elemental powers but they end the situation doing a little better.

The other ninja are... wary of Morro. They understand that he's good (ish) now or else he wouldn't be living with them, but with how aggressive and closed off he is they haven't really talked to him or tried to understand him, and Lloyd can only share so much. While most of them are at least tolerant of Morro, Kai fucking hates him. He is pissed that he hurt his baby brother and he won't just ignore his attempt to destroy the world. Kai confronts him and it goes... questionable and definitely not mentally healthy. Essentially Kai is giving Morro shit about it when Morro interest him with a "I know and I hate myself for it" type thing (tempted to actually write this) and there's a whole lot of screaming and crying. They are by no means on good terms but Kai chills out after that (the other ninja either overhear or are told about this later) and from there they can at least start building relationships.

After this point my solid thoughts start to break down and there aren't any more major events but the general idea is Morro slowly getting more comfortable and building relationships with the ninja (and Wu but way slower). I plan another post about just those relationships but at this point his redemption is pretty much complete and my aus start to go different directions.

Morro is avoiding Wu like the plague. He still hates him and is extremely angry but he wants to be good now so he can't just kill him and he dosent know what to do so he just hides from his problems. After quite some time and definitely after the Morro Kai thing Wu confronts him and it goes absolutely horribly. (I've played out this scene in my head a dozen times a dozen different ways but there is a general idea). Morro is so so hurt and practically screams his throat raw yelling at Wu, full on mental breakdown ugly crying. When Morro is done Wu hugs him, and he lets it last for just a moment before punching him and breaking his nose. After this Morro goes back to avoiding Wu but things start to get a little better. Wu is trying to make things better and help Morro heal but it is going very slowly.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago morro #morro #ninjago au #ninjago headcanons #morro redemption au

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Watching you dancing in your platform shoes You look so pretty in these reds and blues Baby, please, I know we're diving deep And you can barely breathe I'm scared completely that you'll up and leave me Is it worth this feeling?

Who are we kidding? That night in Milwaukee Was already starting

Your hair in my mouth Pull me down to the couch Oh, I want you right now And everyone tells me My heart beats for nothing But something is changing

I've still got that ring that you let me wear In that haunted swimming pool, I know you felt me there You'll win this hide, don't try to change my mind I feel so sure this time

Standing in just your t-shirt I know that this will hurt If you let go of me first

Who was I kidding? That night in Milwaukee You already had me

Your hair in my mouth Pull me down to the couch Oh, I want you right now I want you right now And everyone tells me My heart beats for nothing But something is changing

Standing in just your t-shirt Something is changing If you let go of me first Something is changing

***

@karatecaulfield back to making the lesbians little graphics and such!!!

Actually posting it is my birthday present to myself XD I just turned 26!!! This just in: Getting old isn't actually that scary. It might be when my health starts failing and whatnot, but for now I am vibing. Might finally get a job soon, too, so I can now shitpost without worrying about money constantly!!!

Also YO I MADE THIS AGES AGO BUT I NEVER POSTED BECAUSE I KEPT OBSESSING OVER THE PERFECT RUBY RING HELP

Truly what has obsessing over a couple of rich lesbians done to me akanhdusygduyis Do you know how much I would've cared about finding the perfect picture of a ruby ring 3 years ago??? 0%. YasMoon has forever altered me. There's no going back to who I once was.

I still debated myself for a long-ass time because like. I was like is that TOO much red nail polish??? Should I crop it out in the middle left pic??? Is it more symbolically poetic or whatever if only YASMINE has flashy red nail polish??? Is she the only one between them who gets to act like a showy tropical bird doing a mating dance??? But then I was like nah...wearing matching nail polish is 4000% one of those coupley-things-we're-gonna-pass-off-as-best-friend-things Yasmine and Moon would definitely do. And they both look damn good in it, so. Fuck it!!! They went matchy matchy to their secret hotel date!!!

So I got kind of obsessed with the idea of a YasMoon songfic based on Wisconsin Ave by Kailee Morgue, where basically Yasmine secretly books a nice hotel room the night after her 15th birthday (so pre-show!) so she and Moon can have a night to themselves and finally be free to do whatever they want! I've mentioned it in previous posts, but I am like. VERY certain these two were messing around backstage during (and before) Season 1, and the idea is so JUICY that I sadly am coming up with plot bunnies about it faster than I can write them D:

For whatever reason, Wisconsin Ave is the one that keeps chewing on me like a brain worm, and may in fact become a full-length songfic one of these days ^^; So naturally, to tide me over until then, I sated this desire the only way I know how...

MOODBOARDS AND FICLETS BAYBEE

This moodboard goes with this, this, this, and this! (Might make Daze Inn its own moodboard too, if I REALLY can't Find My Chill with these things ^^;) Tangentially related, but Yasmine's blue dress at the beginning of the Halloween episode in S1 was SUCH an underrated look. Like I don't care if it was supposed to be slutty or whatever!!! It served!!! I miss her skimpy little outfits tbh, the girl can have a redemption arc without having to dress "modest" like the good girls ;_____; Let her dress like a slut!!! This is her holy divine right as a woman!!!

Also they definitely underwater kissed in that hotel pool. I know, I was there, they told me themselves--

In any case, Moon would absolutely see Yas spinning around in that dress in a pair of stylish platform heels and just be so fucking gone for her. I love imagining it as this sweet, blissful moment of butterflies in her stomach and the unique euphoria of young love...and then reality comes crashing down seconds later and Moon is like "oh, I am fucked." Because all they get is this one perfect night--one night to be themselves and love each other the way they want to and let loose and do whatever they want...and then they have to go home. They have to go back under the watchful eyes of parents and classmates and snotty neighbors and everyone else who they have to hide from.

And Moon has to wonder. What if this this little arrangement between--this affection limited only to where no one can see--gets to be too much for Yasmine? What if she starts wanting someone she can show off? Love in the open? Take home to her parents?

...a boy?

And she lives in that fear. She lives in the fear that Yasmine could snatch away everything they have on a moment's notice and leave her behind to pursue something a little less...complicated.

She feels it all night--watching Yasmine dance, kissing her on the suite couch, wearing the ring Yasmine got as a birthday gift with their feet dangling in the Universal Studios Hilton pool that some kid supposedly drowned in. Waking up in Yasmine's shirt the next morning.

Knowing that she's Yasmine's, whether she wants to be or not. Moon is in too deep to pull herself away now.

The other girls in their group sneer at her. They see how she looks at Yasmine. They know the admiration in her eyes go beyond platonic.

And they hate her, because she's the only one that Yasmine gives any of that back to. She's The Favorite. The right-hand Beta Bitch. Unquestionably second in their lunch table's pecking order. She calls the shots far more than any of the other girls are allowed.

Not that Moon feels the need to call shots. But it's still a privilege not afforded to the girls who throw snide, passive-aggressive comments her way.

It'd bother Moon more if Yasmine actually gave a shit. But their "friends" are irrelevant to the queen bee beyond how good they can make the table look to the rest of the school.

Harper Moreno confronts her one time. Corners Moon on the way to history class--a class she notably doesn't share with Yasmine.

"I know you want Yasmine." Harper doesn't mince words. "I see you over there, leering at her all lunch. You're wasting your time."

"I don't--"

"No use lying about it." Harper's eyes flash coldly. "You really think you're the only one of us who's ever wanted to fuck her? You're not special, Moon."

Moon sways on her feet, caught off-guard.

"Did you ever...?"

"Not me, no. But I know others who have."

Yasmine would tell her Harper's trying to get the better of her. Work her up until she loses her composure and gives Harper the kind of undignified reaction she wants. Something she can get Aubrey or Jenna--probably hiding somewhere in a nearby crowd--to stealthily record and put on her Instagram story.

Something to bring her down so Harper can fill the now-vacant spot of Yasmine's second-in-command.

Moon isn't going to have it.

"You don't know me," she says coldly. "You don't know her. I matter to her in a way you don't."

It's a cruel thing to say. Yasmine would approve.

So much of what Moon does hinges on that these days.

Moon doesn't like the conniving smile Harper gives her. The way the other girl steps forward, putting only a few inches between them before leaning forward and hissing in her ear.

"It's all for nothing, you know. Your little crush. Yasmine will throw you away once she's done with you, just like she does with everyone."

As Harper saunters off, she throws one last sneer over her shoulder.

"I've known her since middle school, by the way. I've learned by now you don't get attached. Maybe you should wise up, too."

Most everyone else she talked to told her something similar. Her mom warned her away even more strongly.

"I went to high school with that type of girl too, Moonchild. They'll break your heart. Plain and simple."

But on the morning after Yasmine's 15th, looking at herself in a hotel mirror clad in Yasmine's clothes...

Moon has her doubts.

After all, it's not just any girl Yasmine invites for a private getaway in a luxury room. And if the loose Paris t-shirt hanging off her, the ruby ring still on her bedside table, and the bright red nail polish Yasmine picked solely to match Moon's are any indication...

Yasmine seems to have gotten pretty tangled up herself.

And something is shifting. The way Yasmine's sprawled out on the bed with her hair a rumpled mess on the pillows, drool trailing from her mouth...

It's imperfection she's never dared show before. Every past time she and Moon screwed around, one always fled before the morning came.

Now here Yasmine is, messy and flawed and laying it all bare for Moon to see. Trusting Moon with it.

It feels like the beginning of something.

Not the beginning of a "real" relationship. Moon isn't that naive.

But the beginning of Yasmine considering what they have is deeper than she planned?

That Moon can hope for.

***

(This is Harper btw)

I gave her a personality and a backstory!!! She fucking sucks and I'm very excited to write more of her being a menace <3

I do fr wonder about the other girls at Yasmine and Moon's S1 table. Like who are they??? Did they really all just ditch tf out of Yasmine after the wedgie incident??? Why did Yasmine deem them in particular worthy of the Rich Girl Clique, but only sometimes (since it's different extras at the lunch table in different scenes)???? Anyways, I imagine they prolly were passive-aggressive terrors to Moon because of all the blatant favoritism and special treatment she got from the Alpha Bitch. There was so totally inner bullying going on in that clique, and someday!!! I will write about it more than anyone ever asked for!!!

Anyways!!! More posts about Best Lesbians coming soon :3 As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request!

#yasmoon #yasmine x moon #moon x yasmine #aesthetic #moodboard #yasmine cobra kai #moon cobra kai #cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #(or pre season 1 anyways) #femslash #wlw #lesbian

[lady-of-endless]

Hello may I request a matchup please? :) I’m a straight female and my name is Xiomara!

I’m very shy, distant, quiet, and a little awkward. Basically a huge introvert at first. However, once I get to know you better or I at least see that you’re comfortable around me, I’ll get comfortable as well :) And once that happens, you could say I become slightly more extroverted. I get louder, laugh more, and am overall less shy, distant, quiet, and awkward. I’m also very sensitive and have tons of trouble speaking up for myself. When getting yelled at or just insulted, I try and act unbothered but I think everyone knows that I’m holding in my tears at that point… (it’s really embarrassing ok don’t judge 🫠) But one thing I can say is that I’m somewhat funny. When I feel comfortable around people or just someone, I usually let more witty and funny comments out. Hobbies I have are photography, gaming, golfing, bowling, board games, jigsaw puzzles, and listening to music! I mostly do these hobbies solo though since I’m either too scared or nervous to ask someone or even a friend to participate with me. My appearance usually consists of grey sweatpants, grey sweatshirt, and black boots— it’s usually my go to outfit since it’s pretty comfortable. At home, my hair is tied in a low ponytail. Outside however, my hair is let down. I let my hair down outside because I’m hella insecure about my side profile. I have a round face, curtain bangs, eye-bags, black hair, and really dark brown eyes :) some people say they look soulless but idk 🤷‍♀️ I think the only thing that’s preventing my eyes look completely soulless is the fact that I commonly express myself through reactions. I’m also 5’5 ft tall. I also tend to speak using a lot of “uh” or “um” because if usually when I don’t say those two words, I end up mixing up my words and my whole sentence just ends up sounding confusing 😬 Also, I smile at almost everything and anything. I’m one of those people where even in awkward, inappropriate, or tense situations— I’ll smile. It’s especially always common for me to smile when I’m nervous. Most people find this trait comical lol. But in situations where I shouldn’t be smiling but do, I never smile to upset people, I smile because I’m either extremely nervous or I just thought of something funny. Another trait I have that I’ve gotten called weird for is how often I laugh during the night rather than the day. I just feel like during the nights I remember more hilarious things than I usually do during the day. I also laugh really loud when I’m alone so I guess hearing loud laughter in the nighttime is in fact weird 🤥

Author's Note: Thank you for your request! I love to get details, it's more fun to write using those. Also, your name is so cool. Hope you'll like it!

I ship you with... Roronoa Zoro!

(lovely gif is not mine, please show appreciation to the OP)

- Your chill nature makes him hang out with you a little more than with the rest. Once you two get comfortable, he'll be even more tempted to spend time with you. He likes to see you get extroverted and laugh more.

- He appreciates the brave face you put on when facing someone's anger or insults, it's honorable. But the thing is that when you're with him, no one will get the chance of getting you to that point. He doesn't hesitate to speak up for you and make sure that no one is messing with you.

- But don't mention it, he doesn't want you or the others to get ideas about his feelings.

- Let more funny and witty comments out, and he'll smirk, looking at you with a proud look on his face.

- Zoro notices your solitude when doing things that you like and he knows all about it, having to go through it as well before meeting the Strawhats. Maybe he won't indulge in every activity but he'll be present there, where you are, doing his own thing and stealing glances at you.

- I can imagine you looking through some photos you took as he looks like he's taking a nap. You'll jolt in shock as he suddenly and naturally drops a random question about the photo you like.

- Oh and also, one day he stubbornly tries to solve one of your puzzles. After such a long time and failed attempts, Zoro is just going to quit frustrated. It's going to be such a funny reaction. He'll tell you that you saw nothing, and walk away.

- Initially he thinks you're being modest about your appearance, not insecure. He finds your traits pleasant to look at. Sanji is surely going to make fun of him when he catches him staring.

- Zoro won't be the one to bluntly compliment you but he will show his admiration through small gestures. For example, when you're talking to him he'll just move a strand of hair from your bangs with a finger. It's such a small gesture but you will get what it means.

- Zoro likes your smile and the way you tend to show it in every situation. However, in time, he learns the meaning of each smile, being able to tell the difference between them. Anxious smile? That's his cue to see if he can do something about it.

- He doesn't mind you mixing up your words if you don't mind him getting the wrong way and getting lost.

- Not going to lie, he's stunned when he hears you laughing at night. He'll either barge into your room to check or drop a comment and a question in the morning, to make sure it wasn't something bad going on.

#one piece #roronoa zoro #zoro op #one piece zoro #one piece matchups #one piece matchup #one piece x reader #one piece x you

[vibes-of-chaos]

are you and feral thembo still friends? What happened to that one anon who sent things into a spiral?

As far as I'm aware yeah me and @feralthembo are still chill. They're really cool and I highly recommend vibing in their proximity. I just don't talk much anymore because I just... Am not on Tumblr anymore tbh. I try to check in occasionally, and guiltily see a bunch of messages, reblog a few things, and then I just... Dip and hide.

And that anon has been blocked about 6 times. After sending multiple messages telling me a great amount of shit. One of the messages basically being "you're too much of a pussy to off yourself" and tbh if I wasn't on 300mg of Wellbutrin every day I probably wouldn't be doing even half as good as I am about that.

I've just unfortunately found myself in a corner of this place where even my sheer proximity to about 7 people causes me to receive tangential hatemail. Some of it from people that hate them and therefore me, and some of them fans of theirs that like... Idk are either jealous that we are mutuals or who think I'm hurting that person somehow by existing. I can give an opinion completely untagged so it doesn't show up in most searches, or even reblog something without commentary, and then have it get liked or reblogged by someone and suddenly 10 minutes after they interact with me I get a bomb in my inbox. And I don't blame my mutuals or any other blogs that interact with me for it. Shit happens. But I'm a relatively small blogger and content creator and don't have the tools, support, or numbers of people drowning it out to be able to thrive off of spite like some of my friends thankfully do. It just ain't for me. I made a space and generally set out to stay in it, but people still manage to find me and shit in my yard regardless of how much blocking and stuff I do. I stopped writing on my self ship blog because even though I didn't tag my work, I'd still get random anons over things. And it's draining and hurtful to deal with. So I just stopped saying anything of my own in most situations.

But yeah TLDR feralthembo is still cool to me and that anon like... Isn't wrong I guess because we're all aware I'm awful but I'd like to be left alone about it.

#rian posting #discourse

[armchairaleck]

WIP update as I might post snippets of some of these and it will be handy to remember what they are..

I am slowly.. very slowly coming to terms with the fact that TDP is probably going in a different direction with certain aspects of lore and world building than I originally thought and that certain burning questions I have may never actually be answered and hey, that’s fine.. I get there’s theme and minute details about historic events might not be that important to the story being told.. ngl I do miss the flashbacks though, I guess Viren’s dream almost counts..

Plus side it leaves a vast amount of writing ideas wide open and lets me indulge in all my weirdest Viren ships so.. yay?

But also meh… historical world building..

Anyway current WIP projects which are all in various levels of unlikely to ever see the light of day:

Gothic AU which I had planned to be a kinda intense wuthering heights style Kpp’Ar/Viren romance while they sorta accidently unleash Aaravos on the world, but it has now turned more into a tale of academic/magical snobbery in a universe where dark magic is largely obsolete and everyone vies for the last scraps of power to curry favour with the king.. thanks season 5.. Viren is a poor wannabe student who can’t afford the fees to study even the theory of magic.. Kpp’Ar is a very rare practising but shouldn’t be practising dark mage… and because of how show Kpp’Ar turned out there is now more power play in the inappropriate age gap relationship, but damn, I still ship them pretty hard so I guess those student/master vibes have to go somewhere..

It swings kinda close to my dark King Atticus IS CANNON KING ATTICUS backstory… which I badly want to squeeze in around the snippets of what we have despite him seeming like such an utterly chill geezer… but whatever… I want total bastard Atticus who will use and abuse his access to dark mages and magic in order to further the political aims of Katolis… who will plot and scheme with Kpp’Ar to create an intricate web of deceit that no one can penetrate, who will take the deep insecurities of everyone he knows and hone them to his advantage, who will pimp out his own son to Viren to tighten their co-dependence and generally fuck them up…

and then I kinda also want his dying spirit to inhabit Viren dybbuk style, so Atticus can be constantly sniping into Viren’s subconscious whenever he tries to bone Harrow… because that’s amusing to me… anyway that’s basically just a long list of stuff I want but obviously won’t get…

Then ahem there’s my Viren/Corvus shipping, that probably shouldn’t be mentioned, is almost certainly completely inappropriate for this fandom, (as if any of the above wasn’t..) I’m keeping quiet on this one as it’s what I currently spend the most time actually writing and might actually get finished.. oh well.. RIP me.

Plus I still have cyber punk AU on the back burner because whenever I start really thinking about it and theorising on how Xadia and the human kingdoms would look with a hard cyber border in the year 1988 and Aaravos secretly pulling all the strings towards his own dubious machinations I come out with something pushing the word count of Dune and I cry.. because really I just want a little bit of Viren and Ibis smut action and this is the only way my brain can think of achieving it..

So the main issue for me here is that all these ideas clock in way over the 10k word mark that I like to limit myself to in the interests of getting something finished.. multi-chapter is not my friend, nor is intensive world/lore building, nor is development of OC’s, or deviously intricate plot.. so why all my ideas now involve quite a lot of those things I don’t know.. it probably means I won’t complete any of them..

Still I do also have a few 5-10k Virrow angst ideas that I might be able to get on with..

#none of this being helped by a personal crisis regarding writing in past or present tense.. #oh well.. #au #mostly gonna be au cos cannon is hard for me!

[mirqmarq428]

some thoughts on Evangelion

It's been a few years since I actually watched it, but every single day I'm reminded of this show somehow. In bastardizing the iconography of my religion, it became itself the epi-tome of iconicity. My phone alarm sound? Evangelion opening. Ringtone? Bass-boosted instrumental bit from the opening. The sun shines, just like that one time in Evangelion. Octahedra exist? Ramiel my beloved. A moment of gloom? Tumbling down tumbling down tumbling down. Everyone who has been impacted by this show will inevitably reference it in their work. It is a mind virus, the un-killable meme.

I have not seen the Rebuilds, and probably never will. EoE was perfect imo

Shinji was a little bitch but I mostly understood him. Up until That Scene. What the actual fuck man.

Gendo is probably my favorite character. Up until recently, I kind of always assumed I would end up as him. Pulling the strings of fate and kaleidoscopic conspiracy just to get back to that one time he felt the slightest bit of Love.

For some reason, most people who talk about Eva hate Gendo with a passion. They say he's an irredeemably mean dad. Well maybe I'm just coping, but I feel for the guy. He's got the same allure as Snape. I liked Snape on first reading and am not going back to check. Either way, Gendo is cast as a villain for wanting

Instrumentality

I freaking love Instrumentality. I want it to happen. Dissolving the barriers between all of humanity? Let's fucking GO! All problems Ever are caused by misunderstanding, so if we Solve Misunderstanding, existence can finally be simple again. So we lose individuality? Well it's basically a social construct anyway. Everyone turns into Tang? Cool. Who needs a body when 'who' is a meaningless concept?

Rei is fine. She's fine, okay? I like the potential of her character but there's just not enough there to get attached. Even the Author agrees, he forgot about her halfway thru.

Asuka. I'm disappointed with how her issues were presented. It was like reading a 5th grade textbook on CPTSD and neglect. There's an episode where she literally says out loud to nobody "I hate myself".

I knew a girl who hated herself. When I pointed that out to her, she would have killed me (not serious but like yk). People in that state do not just acknowledge "I hate myself". That scene completely broke my emotional immersion.

Kaworu. The gay demonic Jesus. He's a cool little dude ig.

Misato was pure waifu bait and I have nothing to say about her.

Kaji was a neat addition and I wish he'd been explored more. Also love that he's very obviously a bisexual triple agent top secret spy but also this chill dude who grows watermelons at the end of the world. We stan.

#neon genesis evangelion #mir rants #also yes ik Misato is an actual character with issues to work thru just #the internet doesn't so #deal with it