#so i guess just find a nice header and try to make it match

[crispy-chan]

burning sunflower | yang jeongin

↠ pairing: yang jeongin x gn!reader

↠ genre & warnings: fluff, hanahaki au (vomiting flower petals), lil bit of angst, strangers to friends to lovers, school au, soccer player!jeongin

↠ summary: your only friend Seungmin introduces you to Jeongin, the star of the school's soccer club and one of the most popular guys in the school. you two become friends quickly but you start to catch feelings...

↠ word count: 6.8k

↠ a/n: sooo, this was written for the @newskynet Valentine's day special event. Not sure if it's too late but it's Sunday evening where I live... if I slipped up with the gn! reader, please let me know. feel free to roast me for my lame header, I just decided to put the lectures on how to use GIMP to good use lmao

the prompts I used were: 21 “For me?”,  6. “No one’s ever given me something like this before.”  16. “Will you be my valentine?”

my masterlist

One.

You're not really sure when you started to like Jeongin. I mean, you two were friends, don't get me wrong but that was it. Friends.

That was all he would ever see you as, you thought bitterly. The label that many would love to have but you cursed yourself for it every day. You see, you were first introduced to the smiling boy by your good friend Seungmin who thought you should at least try to make friends other than him, claiming that he won't be with you forever.

***

“Oh come on Min, I thought we'd always be friends,” you whined as he dragged you to a small cafe after school where you would meet his friend.

“Stop acting so childish Y/N, you have to start talking to other people too, you know.”

“But whyyyy? I have you, right?” you giggled at his unamused expression, telling you that he had enough of your shit.

“Nope. You're going to make other friends and that's final. You wouldn't want to really turn into a hermit crab,” he said smugly.

Now it was your turn to look unimpressed. “You don't need to bring up my spirit animal, sheesh. What a low blow, even for someone like you, Min.”

“What was a low blow?” a boy around your age with a cheerful smile approached you giving you a questioning look. You just stood there nervously, staring at him for god knows how long until Seungmin finally broke the ice with a rather awkward cough and proceeded to introduce you guys.

“Y/N, this is Jeongin. Jeongin, this is Y/N,” he pointed at the two of you, swiftly introducing you to the other.

“Um,” you awkwardly extended your hand for a handshake, “hello, I'm Y/N, Seungmin's friend.”

He shook your hand with a firm grip before smiling from ear to ear, “I'm Jeongin, from the neighboring class.”

After you guys settled, you proceeded to order your drinks and snacks. The atmosphere was undeniably awkward, but Seungmin seemed adamant about reaching his goal.

“So look guys, I brought you both here because you both need more friends. You're both introverts who like to hide in their shells and I think you two have a lot in common, so I think this would be beneficial for both parties.”

“So you're basically trying to say that you don't want to hang out with us anymore?”

The innocence in his tone almost fooled you for a second, before you noticed the smug expression on his face and couldn't hold in the burst of laughter.

“Man, I like him already,” you sniggered after you caught your breath, patting a visibly annoyed Seungmin on the back.

“Who would have thought there is someone more savage than you in this school.”

The unimpressed deadpan he gave you made you fall into another fit of giggles, prompting Jeongin to chuckle too.

After the waitress came back with your beverages, you proceeded to distract yourself by making little paper balls and blowing them through your straw into the ceramic pot on the table. You got so distracted, that you spaced out and didn’t notice when Seungmin started waving his hand in front of your face.

“Y/N, Y/N! Are you even listening?”

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment at being caught zoning out. No wonder you had no friends. Slowly lifting your head, you faced Seungmin, waiting for him to repeat what he just said.

“I asked if you wanted to come to watch him play on Saturday.”

“Watch who?” you asked confusedly.

“Jeongin, he's on our school's soccer team,” he deadpanned, annoyed at your lack of concentration.

“Umm, sure...I guess. I'm not much of a sports person but I have nothing to do on the weekend,” you mumbled, mentally checking for any possible plans or chores you could have. Well jokes on you, you had none.

Jeongin beamed at that, taking a sip from his beverage as he pulled out his phone. “I'm glad you can make it - Seungmin would come but he has an exam he has to prepare for,” he explained, “the match starts at five o'clock.”

“Wait, wait, what? There's an exam next week?” you screeched. You were almost positive that there weren't any but dread filled you at even the slightest possibility.

The boy let out a chuckle at your obvious panic, shaking his head. “No, the exam is in two weeks but you know how he is.”

You could feel a weight being lifted from your heart as you sighed in relief. “Thank god, I thought I missed something,” you giggled.

Jeongin smiled at the display. Maybe hanging out with you wouldn't be that bad, at least he'd have someone he knew watching the game other than Seungmin who wasn't exactly the most supportive when it came to sports, opting to rearrange his binder or do his homework instead of watching.

“Thanks, it means a lot to me. I'm always happy if there is someone cheering for me in the stands,” he winked, making your heart skip a beat.

Wait a minute.

Something wasn't right here.

After the two of you bid goodbye to Jeongin, you dragged Seungmin out of the cafe, the gears in your head spinning at maximum speed.

“Wait a second Seungmin, he's not that popular striker who scores most of our school's goals that all the girls swoon over, right? Please tell me I'm right,” you stammered, pulling on his sleeve.

“Relax Y/N, he's really nice-”

“So it's him?!”

“Yes,” he sighed, opening his mouth to say something, probably to convince you to not bail on his friend but you didn't even give him the chance.

“I can't believe it! Why didn't you tell me? You made me agree to accompany one of the most popular guys in our school! His fangirls will kill me,” you hissed. Although you never remembered his name, it was practically basic knowledge that anyone on the soccer team was insanely popular with a cult-like following of crazed fans who went after anyone near them.

“Calm down, ok,” he held you by the shoulders, “ you will be ok, alright? He's a really nice guy who could also use some friends. All the other guys on the team are seniors so it's hard for him to find someone he can talk to face to face,” he tried to explain.

“And don't worry,” he added with a smile, “you don't have to do anything, just come and watch the match and cheer him on a bit, alright?”

“Alright,” you groaned.

Two.

You should have never agreed to come to that soccer game. That ultimately became your downfall. If you had never agreed to this, maybe you wouldn't be like this today.

You sighed, rummaging through your closet and trying to figure out what the hell were you supposed to wear. I mean - what was it even. You had no clue what was going to happen, you only knew that he and his teammates would pick you up on their way to the match.

He texted you the day before that he and the boys would stop by your house at three-thirty to come and collect you. After ten minutes of just standing there, you finally decided on a casual outfit and ran to your door to put your sneakers on. As if on cue, you could hear a car honking right outside your door and your phone lit up with a new text message.

Jeongin [03:32]

We're here.

You slammed the door shut and made your way to the vehicle. You could see a boy you recognized but didn't remember his name, behind the wheel. Inside the van, there were a few other boys scattered around, including Jeongin who sat in the back alone.

“Hi Y/N, hop in,” he beamed, rolling down the window. You smiled back, opening the door and taking a seat next to him.

“So, are you excited?” the boy driving turned to look at you with a grin as he slowly backed the car, driving away from your house.

“Yeah, it's been a while since I watched our team play and from what I’ve heard, you guys are pretty good,” you smiled nervously under their gazes.

They all laughed at that, happy to hear they had a good reputation even amongst the students not involved in sports.

“I'm Chan, by the way, captain of our schools’ soccer club,” the boy behind the wheel stated. Oh, so that's why he seemed so familiar. Practically everyone knew him, and he knew everyone too. He'd often greet people who didn't think he knew they existed and was always extra kind which combined with his captain status led to his immense popularity.

“The grumpy one next to me is Minho,” he pointed to the currently sleeping figure in the passenger's seat.

“Hey! I’m not grumpy!”

Well. Looks like he wasn't asleep after all.

“I'm Jisung,” the cheerful boy in front of you chimed as he turned around and gave you a big smile.

“And I'm Hyunjin.”

“Um, well...I'm Y/N,” you winced at how awkward you sounded but luckily, they didn't seem to mind as they all giggled.

“We know,” came Minho's curt reply, “Jeongin wouldn't shut up about you.”

“Ouch,” Minho screeched as Jeonging threw his shoe at him.

The rest of the car ride went rather smoothly, other than the occasional bickering of the guys but you honestly didn't mind. It was kind of comforting to just let go of everything and laugh along. It surprised you how nice they were, you kind of imagined them as selfish pricks but that clearly wasn't the case.

At one point, Hyunjin and Jisung started arguing over which color uniform they should wear for the match. You watched with a hint of amusement, that was until they turned to you for help.

“But look, if we choose the red one, Chan will be able to live out his dream as Christiano Bangnaldo,” Jisung pleaded as Chan let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Christiano Bangnaldo? Wow, I'm wheezing.”

“Exactly,” Hyunjin cut you guys off, “that's why we should choose the blue one, it goes better with my skin tone.”

“Oi, nobody cares about your damn skin tone, I want to see Christiano Bangnaldo,” Minho stated loudly, completely shutting up the younger two. Welp, seems like it was decided. What Minho wants, Minho gets.

After you finally arrived at the dimly lit school stadium, you made your way out of the car as Jeongin held the door open for you. Smiling, you thanked him for the kind gesture before finally looking around. And your socks were pretty much blown off.

Now you were wondering, why you never came here before. The field was slowly starting to fill with other students slash players but that didn't manage to hide the undeniable beauty of this place. The bleachers were surprisingly clean, unlike most high school stadiums. The dim lights cast a nice glow over the stadium, giving it a really homey feel. You looked around in awe, still surprised by the atmosphere of this place.

“Have you ever been here during the night?” a lean figure stood behind you, observing you and effectively cutting off your train of thought.

“Nope. This is the first time,” you breathed out.

“That's what I thought. It looks completely different when it's dark,” he chuckled, turning around to head to the locker rooms.

“So... I have to head back so we can all change. You can take a seat wherever you want, I'd recommend the first row,” he winked cheekily, accompanying the gesture with a throaty laugh.

You blushed at that, choosing to snuggle into your shirt, to hide your embarrassment. How could he be so cheesy so casually? He must have noticed your slight shiver as he slipped out of his varsity jacket.

Before you could even protest, he had already placed the jacket around your shoulders, patting your head. You opened your mouth to object but he cut you off, “it's ok Y/N, I’m not gonna need it anyways. And by the way...thank you for coming, I really appreciate it.”

You smiled, realizing that something that seemed so pointless, so small could mean so much to someone else. He seemed genuinely excited to have someone cheering for him, even if he had tens of fangirls doing just that. You huffed in the chilly wind, lifting your head up to gaze at him.

“No problem Jeongin, I'm happy I came.”

Something about how he smiled at you, stirred your insides, made your heart skip a beat. Your eyes trailed after him, lingering on his receding figure. You didn't look away until he stepped into the locker room, the door pretty much obstructing your gaze and snapping you out of this trance.

Looking around, you could sense that the stadium was slowly filling up. If you wanted to have a seat, you would have to be quick. You ran down to the first row seats but with a sigh realized that most of them were already taken. You were about to give up and run up to find a spot in the next row but a sharp tug on your sleeve stopped you.

Turning around, you spotted a boy, maybe a year or two older than you, looking at you with a curious face. You tried to pry out of his hold, tugging on your hand but he didn't let go. Right when you were about to scream, he finally spoke, “are you Jeongin's friend? We saved you a seat,” he motioned to the spot next to him.

“How the hell do you know that?” you asked, confusion evident.

“Well,” he chuckled, “the jacket…”

Oh. right. You were wearing Jeongin's varsity jacket. You almost forgot.

“So… are you and Jeongin-”

“No,” you cut him off before he could even finish the sentence, “I'm a friend of a friend who couldn't make it today so I came instead.”

“Oh, you see - I thought, Hyunjin said-” he suddenly stopped, not bothering to continue, instead opting to tug you down to sit next to him.

“Watch,” was all he said.

You sat there obediently, watching the game and occasionally cheering Jeongin on, whenever he passed the ball or attempted to score. He was really good, especially considering that he was the youngest on the team.

During the less intense parts of the game, you made small talk with the boy next to you. He introduced himself as Jinyoung. He was the captain of the lacrosse team and a good friend of Chan and Hyunjin. You found out that as a captain, he would attend almost all the other sports events that his friends partook in, claiming it to be common courtesy.

Both of you refocused your attention on the game. Your team seemed to be on the offensive again, Hyunjin passing the ball to Jisung, who maneuvered around one of the opposing team’s defenders before eventually passing to Minho.

Just when he was about to kick it, another leg appeared from the side, tripping him and making him fall flat on his face. He managed to at least stick out his hands so they would take the brunt of the fall but he struggled to get up on his feet.

Before the other boy could get away with the ball, the referee blew the whistle, signalizing a foul and stopping the game.

“What happened? Is he ok?” you asked, frantically scrambling up and leaning into the field from behind the barrier.

“Don't worry,” Jinyoung chuckled, “he'll be fine. They'll probably be getting a penalty kick. And I bet you a hundred bucks that Jeongin will be the one to take the shot.”

“Wait really? Is he that good?” you surprisedly inquired.

“Yeah, he's the best shot on the team.”

Now you were excited. You heard that he was good but never realized to what extent.

Jinyoung was right. You could see the coach huddled with the players in a circle, probably talking strategy or something before Chan patted Jeongin on the back. They all withdrew from the group circle leaving Jeongin to stand in front of the ball and the other team's goalkeeper to hunch down in preparation for the kick.

The referee blew the whistle, signalizing the resuming of the game. Jeongin took a few steps back before bursting into a run, kicking the ball into the upper left corner with utmost control.

You all stood up in anticipation, the kick seeming almost as if in slow motion, you could see the goalkeeper jump to his left, desperate to catch the ball before it landed in the net but his attempt was futile.

The kick he delivered was far too good to be caught, the expert technique and control visible to any onlooker. Paired with a huge roar of applause, you could all see the ball land in the goal with a thud.

Everyone erupted in cheers, including you and the atmosphere was great. You could see a few photographers who probably worked for the local sports columns, their cameras clicking like crazy, trying to capture the moment of glory of this young high schooler.

All of his teammates pulled Jeongin into a collective embrace, Chan slipping off his goalkeeper gloves before hoisting the boy on his shoulder.

In the heat of the moment, Jeongin looked through the spectators, trying to find the person that came to watch him. When he spotted you, cheering him on with a big grin, he couldn't help the fond smile from appearing. After he finally caught your gaze, he shot you a friendly wink, laughing at your flustered reaction.

“Wow, just friends you say,” Jinyoung teased, witnessing the whole exchange.

“Oh shut up! We met like a week ago.”

***

Fast forward to the end of the match. You guys won two to none, the second goal scored by Minho with the assistance of Jeongin and Hyunjin. Everyone was excited, the adrenalin and momentum of the game still hasn't passed. The smell of sweat and coke (coca-cola!) heavy in the air as you sat with the team on the benches and reminiscenced the game.

“Jeongin! That goal of yours was really great, you had so much control over the ball. All those hours of practice have paid off!”

Jeongin shyly hid his face, all the praise from his captain making him feel fuzzy from the inside.

“Yeah, everyone in the bleachers froze in anticipation when you kicked the ball,” you chimed in, feeling the need to join the praise bandwagon for the boy, “it was really cool.”

After that, Jeongin continued to receive pats on the back from fellow teammates, a few coaches, and random people that you didn't even know who came to congratulate him on his flawless playing today.

Overall, everyone had a great time. The stars were out and you all just wanted to soak up the atmosphere. So this is what having a social life during your teenage years meant? It made you wonder, how much were you missing out on. You wished time would just freeze, allowing you to live in this moment forever. You were gonna have to thank Seungmin for this later.

Jeongin, who was seated next to you must have noticed you zoning out. He placed his palm on your shoulder and asked, “are you ok Y/N? Do you want us to take you home?”

You blinked. Once. Twice. And only after the third time did you realize, that you still haven’t answered his question. You smiled before letting the reassuring words slip out of your mouth, “I'm fine. Great actually. Can't remember when was the last time I had so much fun.”

He sighed in relief, glad that you were having fun. From what he could tell (and from what Seungmin told him) you didn't have many friends nor did you hang out with people. The only person you considered a friend was Seungmin and he wasn't exactly a social butterfly himself, opting to study in most of his free time.

All of you ended up chatting until nine pm, completely forgetting about the time and simply enjoying yourselves. You checked your phone at nine-thirty, gasping in shock at the time.

“Everything ok?” Chan asked with concern.

“Um, yeah. Just didn’t realize it was so late. I should probably get going,” you muttered nervously, picking up all your belongings and shoving them into your bag.

“Oh right, it's quite late already. We'll give you a ride, right Chan?” Jeongin turned to his captain.

“Of course. Let's all get going. Chop chop. C'mon Hyunjin, you can tell them about your skincare routine next time,” he pulled the whining boy away from his third victim today.

You packed yourselves into the van, the seating arrangements only slightly different from on your way here. Hyunjin must have been still pissed at Chan for cutting his skincare speech short because he wouldn't shut up about it on the way to the parking lot. He kept going on and on about how moisturizing is important, even if you have oily skin. The captain dismissed his rant with a laugh and started the engine as the complaining boy sat down in the passenger seat.

At some point, Into the unknown came on shuffle and all the boys except Jeongin started singing. You burst out in laughter at their failed attempts at singing the high notes, seeing Jeongin hide his face in embarrassment.

“Guys! Come on, stop it,” he pleaded but the older boys only smirked in response and started singing even louder. By now, you were dying from laughing so hard, Jeongin having to pat your back aggressively so you won't choke on your own spit.

After they got bored of singing, you became their main talking point and they kept asking you borderline intrusive questions until Jeongin told them off, seeing how you turned slightly uneasy. Because of the typical Saturday evening traffic, you ended up falling asleep on the shoulder of a slightly pink Jeongin. He became super nervous once he realized you weren't awake and tried his best not to move and to hold you steady on every speed bump.

It took about fifteen more minutes for you guys to arrive in front of your place. Chan parked on the street and turned to say goodbye.

“Thanks for coming, Y/N. We're glad you came. Hope you had fun too,” he smiled, his dimples making an appearance.

“Jeongin especially,” Jisung whispered not-so-quietly and squeaked from the death glare Chan shot him.

You laughed softly, your cheeks bunching up as you waved them goodbye.

When you were laying in bed, your mind wandered off to today's events. As much as you didn't want to admit it, Seungmin was right. You really enjoyed yourself.

***

It was a sunny Monday morning when you were walking up the steps to your school entrance. You spent the rest of the weekend thinking about the Saturday game, not yet sure, how you felt about this newfound hobby. Maybe you should really spend more time with people. You also washed up Jeongin's varsity jacket that you forgot to return on Saturday evening.

You held the paper bag containing the washed piece of clothing in your right hand as you pushed the entrance door with your left. It felt all too easy, almost as if the door opened on its own. And you realized that no, you didn't grow stronger from that one arm toning workout you did yesterday as you saw a veiny hand press into the glass.

You turned to face that mystery person, only to sigh in relief as you were left face to face with Chan.

“Oh, hello,” you smiled, greeting him rather timidly. Because let's face it - you weren't exactly sure if they even considered you a friend. You were just some random girl that came to their soccer game.

Thankfully, he seemed to consider you a friend too as he gave you his dimpled smile, “hey Y/N, how was your weekend?”

“It was pretty good. I had lots of fun on Saturday and yesterday I just chilled,” you beamed.

“Same here,” he laughed, “we all pretty much passed out when we got home- oh shoot, the bell's off, I have to get to class. See you around.”

With a simple wave, he dashed out of your sight, turning around the corner to climb up the stairs to his classroom. You then remembered that you too had class and if you didn't wanna be late, you'd have to make a dash for it too.

***

It was during lunch break that you remembered that you had to return Jeongin his jacket. You nervously walked to his homeroom, anxious about what was going to happen. Will he think you're weird for coming to his class? Will he be embarrassed when you come up to him in front of all his friends? You sighed as you entered the classroom. It seemed like nobody noticed you at first, everyone was way too immersed with their own stuff. You could see that they all got along, the room booming with chatter and laughter.

Jeongin's table was near the window, a girl's chair turned to face him as they both engaged in a conversation. You awkwardly shuffled a few meters away, not wanting to interrupt. It was a truly wrecking moment, you even considered just turning around and disappearing without a trace but Jeongin noticed you and gave you a wide smile.

“Hey Y/N. What brings you here?”

You stood there for a few seconds before you finally remembered, what you came for. “Umm, hi. Just wanted to return this,” you handed him the bag, “I washed it and everything. Thanks for borrowing it.”

His eyes flashed in recognition after he peeked into the bag and he immediately returned the bag to your hand.

“It's fine,” he mumbled with slightly rosy cheeks (not that you noticed), “you can have it, I don't mind.”

You stared at him in shock, mouth slightly agape to which he awkwardly laughed. You were about to protest but the bell rang and Jeongin muttered that you should better get back to class.

You nodded in embarrassment, not even being able to look him in the eye as you hastily waved and ran out of the classroom.

You were mentally beating yourself up for that, you should have never come to his class, he must have been embarrassed that someone like you came to his class, everyone was probably used to him hanging around popular people like that girl he was talking to.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. You stuffed the paper bag with his jacket into your backpack, what were you even supposed to do with it - did he not hear that you washed it or something?

When you arrived home, you hung the jacket on one of the hooks near the door and headed to your room to get some homework done.

Three

It was a few months later that you and Jeongin officially became friends. During that time, the both of you hung out a lot more, courtesy of Seungmin and the rest of the soccer team who thought the two of you made great friends. It started out simple at first: getting coffee together, working on homework, and cursing that physics assignment you both had no clue how to finish.

Times like these made you realize how much of a fun person Jeongin was. There was never a dull moment around him yet despite his easygoing and fun nature, you noticed he preferred to keep to himself, only hanging out with his closest circle of friends. A category which you seemed to now fall under too.

Despite all your anxiousness about whether you were even “worthy” (as some would say) of being his friend, Jeongin always told you that he didn't care if you weren't labeled as popular by the rest of the student body.

“Y/N, we've had this conversation many times already. I really couldn't care less that you aren't a popular cheerleader and don't have Gucci bags,” he smiled, pushing a stray strand of hair that fell in front of your face, behind your ear.

“I know, I know. Sorry Jeongin, I know you aren't like that. I just get really anxious when those kids bury me with their gazes when I dare look at you.”

“Look, if anyone is bothering you, please tell me ok? I'll talk to them. I don't want you to suffer from being my friend,” he smiled, waving the waitress over to order for you guys.

“Don't worry, Jeongin. I promise I will,” you smiled, turning back to your physics workbook. The homework was on magnetic motors or something like that and you had no clue how to do it.

“Umm, do you know the answer to question three?” you asked, chewing on your bottom lip.

“Nope. I fell asleep during that class,” he admitted with a chuckle.

“Oh come on. You can't do that. You should pay attention.”

“Like you paid any,” he pointed, taking a sip of his lemonade.

“Excuse me!” you gasped, “I did pay attention. I just didn't understand any of it. That's different.”

“Hmm. It sure is.”

Four

You were leaning over the sink in your bathroom, blood and flower petals splattered all over as you tried your best to get it all out of your throat. The petals were bright yellow. Sunflower petals.

How ironic, you thought. Sunflowers represented adoration, longevity, and pure thoughts. Just like how you felt towards Jeongin. And how he'd never feel towards you.

You bit back a sob as you choked on even more of the soft petals. In a sense, you were quite lucky - had you been coughing up any other flower (especially roses), it would probably hurt way more. But that still didn't mean that it wasn't painful. Your breath heaved as you tried your best to take deep breaths, your constricted lungs filled with petals, not exactly helping.

You have been suffering from the hanahaki disease for a few weeks now. You always thought it was a myth from the internet, never once have you expected to run to the bathroom at three am to hurl petals into the sink. It started slowly at first. You'd only cough out some petals and drops of blood, but it got progressively worse.

You'd have days that you wouldn't be able to even get out of bed with the exhaustion you felt. All you wanted to do was sleep and forget about the cute boy with dimples. But no, you could never be angry at Jeongin. He was an absolute sweetheart who was nothing but kind to everybody. You couldn't exactly blame him for being around other people. That's right, you didn't know if they were dating but he seemed to hang around this girl called Lia a lot recently, the one he was talking to months prior. They seemed to be good friends too, apparently knowing each other for years now. You tried your best to suppress the jealousy that was rising in you, along with the petals.

You quickly turned back to the sink, just in time for it to catch the new batch of bloodied petals. Even thinking about her made your heart ache and you absolutely despised yourself for that. Lia was nothing but a sweet girl that always smiled at you in the hallway and occasionally made small talk with you.

***

A week later you were walking down the corridor, looking for the vending machine. It seems like they recently moved it from its original location, in front of the lab. You turned around the corner, your eyes bulging out of your skull at what you saw.

Jeongin and Lia were hunched near the lockers, whispering and giggling at something. He said something, making the girl shake her head in denial as he arched his brow. You couldn't watch anymore, quickly running back and abandoning your original plan of finding the vending machine and instead, running to the bathroom. You slammed the door shut, flinging yourself over the toilet as you vomited heaps of the yellow petals, this time mixed with some green leaves and stems. This was by far the worst case, you have never thrown up green before.

You wiped your dry lips, attempting to take deep breaths and calm your heart. It was horrible what seeing the two together did to you. You couldn't believe you lost control like that only a few meters away from him. What would happen if he saw you?

You had to suppress it. He could never find out.

***

It was a truly painful day. Tomorrow was Valentine's Day and you could see all the stores decorated with pinks and reds, hearts everywhere, and signs welcoming couples with tempting discounts.

Your stomach did flips as you walked the path to the school door. It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. You contemplated calling sick the next day and not going to school at all, but you had an important paper to hand in and the professor was especially grumpy and wanted it on his desk on that particular day.

You trudged up the steps with a frown, when you heard your name being called.

“Hey, Y/N,” Chan called after you, running up the stairs to catch up.

“Oh hey, Chan,” you mumbled, mustering up your best fake smile but he still managed to see through it.

“Is everything ok?” he asked, obviously concerned.

“Yeah, just a little tired,” you dismissed, leaving him and running towards your locker.

Good job Y/N, you groaned, now you can't even hang out with your other friends.

You spent the rest of the day avoiding the whole group, trying your best to overpower the need to throw up petals. You didn't want to repeat the previous incident in school. Jeongin must have by now noticed how distant you were. He probably thought you hated him by how you kept avoiding him for the past month.

He probably wanted to ask you to come to his game tomorrow which you sure as hell weren't planning to attend. On top of the fact that you could literally shower the whole stands with petals, it was also going to be Valentine's day and there was no telling if the boy was going to ask Lia out or something like that.

And your heart wouldn't be able to handle that.

You ran home after your last period. Your stomach growled at the lack of lunch but you figured it was better than running into one of them.

You stomped into the bathroom, not even taking off your shoes as you threw up into the bin. There was more blood today. There was no telling of what would happen tomorrow, the romantic atmosphere would probably only serve as a bitter reminder of your broken heart.

You wiped your lips, deciding that taking a shower would be in your best interest. After that, you sat by your desk and made some finishing touches to the essay due tomorrow.

Maybe you would just come to turn it in and then dip…

***

You woke up with a strangled cry, the dream you had still playing in your head. With a groan you slumped out of bed, ready to prepare for the day but to your horror, you realized that you overslept. You had approximately ten minutes before you had to leave.  You brushed your teeth, shoved some toast down your throat, and gathered your things. With a sense of urgency, you threw on jeans, a blouse, and some sneakers, not feeling like dressing up.

You had to leave immediately. Like now. You grabbed your backpack, quickly checking the essay was there, took your keys off the hook, and grabbed the first jacked you could find. It was dark blue (and very soft) meaning it would match almost anything you had on and since the weather was chilly, you wouldn't want to risk catching a cold.

Running out the door, you pulled it on and slung the backpack on your shoulder, running to the bus stop. Only then did you notice the engraved initials YJ on the sleeve and cursed yourself for bringing the wrong one. You would have taken it off right away if it wasn't for the blasting AC.

You stomped up the chairs, annoyance coursing through your veins. This day couldn't get any worse. Still thinking about leaving after handing in the assignment, you almost avoided going to your locker but remembered the jacket. You'd just drop it in and head to the professor's office.

You dug around for your keys until you finally found them in the bottom of your backpack. You slid it in the keyhole and opened the locker.

You were surprised by a giant teddy plushie and a box of chocolates. Your eyes widened in surprise before you heard a loud “surprise”.

Turning around, you were face to face with a grinning Jeongin. He stood over you with a large bouquet of beautiful sunflowers and the rest of the team, Lia, and Seungmin were all behind him cheering and throwing confetti.

To say that you were in shock would be a massive understatement. The look of utter confusion must have been plastered on your face as Jeongin smiled and handed you the bouquet.

“For me?”

He nodded slowly, examining your expression. You took the flowers from him, lowering your head to smell them.

“No one's ever given me something like this before,” you croaked, tears beginning to well in your eyes.

Jeongin nervously stood there before grabbing your hand and looking you in the eyes.

“Y/N, we've been friends for some time now but I wanted to ask you… Will you be my valentine?”

“Of course I will,” you whispered, almost jumping at him and swallowing him in a bone-crushing hug.

“I've liked you for some time now,” you admitted after a while, burying your head into his chest and enjoying the sudden way you seemed to breathe easier, not feeling the itchy petals in your throat anymore.

“Same here,” he laughed.

“Wait really? Since when?” you asked perplexed.

“Since I gave you my jacket,” he grinned, “I'm glad to see that you're making proper use of it.”

“Come on everybody, let's leave them alone,” Chan hollered, dragging everybody away to give you guys some privacy.

“I'm sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you for the past week. I was planning with Lia on how to do, how to do all of this, you know,” he pointed at all the gifts he got you.

“Thank you,” you smiled again, “I really appreciate it Jeongin.”

“Do you want to come to the game today? I'd introduce you to all my other friends.”

“I'd love to.”

He seemed to be thinking about something, his nose scrunching up before he looked at you and placed his hands on your waist.

You peered at him through your lashes as he slowly leaned down, pressing his plush lips to yours and sealing them into a kiss. You closed your eyes, leaning down to get even closer to him as you gripped his shirt for support. The kiss was short but sweet and you were startled apart by a loud wolf whistle.

You turned around, cheeks burning in embarrassment at Jisung doing kissy faces and Hyunjin laughing in the background. You almost jumped away and Jeongin just chuckled.

“The game starts two hours after school. Do you want to go on like a proper date before that?”

“Sure,” you smiled, “I should probably get going, I have to submit this essay,” you waved the piece of paper that counted for nearly half of your final grade for the quarter.

“Don't forget the flowers,” he pointed to the bouquet.

“About that, maybe I should leave it in my locker. You know - to not start anything,”

“Y/N,” he said with a serious tone, “I don't care what the others think. They'll know by the evening anyways.”

You were startled at first, but then realized that he was right. No more caring about what others thought about you.

Now it was just you and Jeongin. You liked the sound of that.

“Okay,” you smiled, picking up the flowers, “I'll meet you at two in front of the lockers.”

With a smile, you walked in the direction of your classroom. After weeks of pain and sorrow, you finally felt like everything fell into place.

***

a/n: aaaaaaah. idk why all my oneshots so far are for jeongin but nvm. hope you liked it. it couldn't resist the idea of soccer player jeongin ;)

#yang jeongin x reader #nsnvalentine #yang jeongin oneshot #yang jeongin fluff #soccer player jeongin #hanahaki au #school au #strangers to lovers #friends to lovers #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fluff #stray kids hanahaki #skz oneshots #skz fluff #skz angst #crispy chan #hang hyunjin #han jisung #lee minho #bang chan

[adorablele]

we’re just friends; l.dh

hello!!! can i request an imagine with haechan kinda like they were best friends in the past and then after a long time they meet each other again and he finds you really pretty? love all your writings!!!!! 💗💘💞💕 

↬ pairing; lee donghyuck x female!reader

↬  genre; fluff,, angst 

↬ word count; 3.5k+ (my longest fic yet pls don’t flop)

↬ summary; he put the wrong label on your friendship, just like how the grocery store labeled the aisle incorrectly.

↬ a/n; I thought the photo of hyuck was very nice which was why I used it as a header, but if anyone would like to make a header for this fic, I’ll give you virtual hugs <3 also, this is the FIRST TIME I’m writing an angsty ending so feedback is appreciated :)))) 

“excuse me.” someone tapped him on the shoulder.

seven year old donghyuck turned around, quizzically looking at you, “what?”

you made a face at his response. “you need to go to the back of the line,” your tone matched his.

“why?” he immediately asked, eyes boring into yours.

you stared back. “‘cause I was here first.”

“who says?” 

“I say!” you retorted, crossing your arms.

he snorted, “I was clearly here first, that’s why you’re standing behind me.”

you glared at the boy, “what are you a pig?”

he opened his mouth, but you cut him off, “and, the first person stands on the line. you’re in front of it, so I’m first.”

the clearing of a throat interrupted your argument. the two of you looked at the class know-it-all. 

“you guys are both wrong, I’m first.”

“who says?” both you and donghyuck asked.

having caused such a ruckus, the teacher booted the two of you to the back of the line. with a glare aimed at the smug little girl, the both of you followed the teacher’s instruction. 

on his way back, donghyuck spotted his friends, giving them a smile. they high-fived and allowed him to stand in front of them in line. you frowned at him, reminding him that ‘you can’t cut,’ before dutifully continuing your lonesome journey to the back of the line. donghyuck chuckled at your sulkily hung head and told his friends to save two spots at the lunch table. 

“she’s so annoying,” you mumbled, kicking the nonexistent pebbles on the floor, “she thinks she knows everything.”

“I know right,” the boy agreed, eyebrows raising when you jumped.

upon realizing it was him, your gaze went back down to the floor, “I thought you were up there with your friends.”

“the teacher told me to get to the back of the line,” he lied.

you looked at him for a moment. he simply looked back. you pursed your lips, crossing your arms and turning your head, chin up and away from him, “serves you right!” you then proceeded to march away, following the moving line. 

not hearing his footsteps, you peeked behind you. you sighed and fully turned around, placing a hand on your hip.

“are you coming?”

“it’s supposed to be there, not their,” he mumbled to you, reading over your shoulder.

“I’ll fix it when I revise and edit,” you dismissed, continuing to write your draft.

“there’s not supposed to be a comma after you,” he pointed out.

“again, I’ll just fix it when I’m editing,” you told him, thoughts halting because of the boy.

“you know-”

“oh my god, hyuck! just give me these comments when we peer review on thursday!” you exclaimed, glaring at the smirking 10 year old.

“don’t use the lord’s name in vain,” he tsked.

“how cute,” the waitress cooed, setting down the drinks on the table, “are you guys studying together?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” you muttered, annoyance laced in your voice.

the waitress arched a brow, leaning closer to donghyuck. “you like her, don’t you?” she loudly whispered.

he looked at her like she was crazy, not noticing the way your hand froze once the question was asked. “we’re just friends.”

with a slow nod, the waitress looked over at you. she chuckled when you quickly looked down at your paper. “whatever you say,” she shrugged, leaving to go serve other customers in the busy diner.

“what if we drift apart?” you sighed, sipping your juice box as he ate his sandwich on the picnic blanket.

we laughed, ‘we von’t brif abarph.”

you frowned at the boy, “chew your food.”

after a minute of silence, he spoke again. “we won’t drift apart.”

you didn’t say anything. he peered over at you, the loud slurping of the juice box catching his attention.

“I think it’s empty,” he commented, taking another bite of his sandwich. 

you pushed his shoulder, “hyuck, be serious! some friend drift away in middle school.”

he rubbed his shoulder, the crushed juice box gripped tightly in your hand. he sighed and leaned back. “life can’t tear us apart,” he looked up at the sky, “and even if they try, I won’t let you go so easily.”

he grinned at you, the muscles moving automatically upon seeing your sparkly gaze on him, “I mean, who else am I supposed to copy answers from?”

you rolled your eyes, “what are friends for, I guess.”

“you are not going to leave me to ride the bus alone on the first day of school!” 

donghyuck chuckled at the threat you told him the night before, the words somehow motivating him to get out of bed despite how much his blankets begged him to come back. when he arrived at the bus stop, you were pacing back and forth, eyes frantically looking around.

“the bus doesn’t arrive for another-” 

“where have you been?” you cried, hugging him, “I thought I was going to be alone!”

“well, I’m here,” he laughed, patting you on the back reassuringly, “still sleepy, but here nonetheless.”

he listened as you rambled away, nerves floating through your words as the two of you waited for the bus to arrive. you were silent when the bus parked in front of the two of you. he gestured for you to walk in first, and you did, planting down in the window seat. donghyuck yawned, slumping into the seat next to you. he didn’t waste any time, plopping his backpack on the floor next to yours as he leaned his head against your shoulder. 

he quietly counted to himself, hoping that he’ll help him fall back asleep. when he got to thirty, he felt your fingers brush through his hair. it caught him off guard, but eventually, he relaxed, continuing to count to sixty before he left to dreamland.

somewhere along the way, he stopped counting. he didn’t need to count, simply waiting until you played with his hair for him to feel relaxed enough to sleep. 

“hey, are you two dating?” a brown haired boy asked one morning. donghyuck recognized him, the guy sat two seats behind the bus driver. he believed his name had min in it or something.

however, donghyuck didn’t think much about the boy’s name, choosing to laugh at his question instead. you joined in not a second later. donghyuck stared at the boy like he was the funniest person in the world. 

“we’re just friends.”

the guy’s eyes flickered between the two of you suspiciously before he shrugged, “right okay.”

“hey jeno,” he called out waving over to his friend who was actively ignoring him, “jeno, come here! they’re not dating!”

jeno glared at his friend, quickly walking over to him, “why does that matter?” 

“because you-” jeno interrupted his friend, sending an apologetic glance at you and donghyuck, “sorry about jaemin, he’s stupid sometimes.”

you waved him off and gave a nod towards donghyuck. “it’s okay, stupid is his middle name.”

donghyuck gave you a side-eye, “I’m not the one who used soap as toothpaste this morning.”

“they’re both green!” you defended.

jeno and jaemin were easily forgotten, left to watch the two of you bicker away. 

jaemin snickered in jeno’s ear, “we’re just friends, they say.”

“I know you have it!” renjun yelled, keeping jaemin in a headlock.

“renjun, let jaemin go,” you sighed, setting down your lunch on the table.

“so abusive,” jaemin weeped, clinging onto you once he was out of renjun’s deadly arms.

“we don’t know if he was the one who took your moomin plushie, so calm down,” you told him. however, your words went to waste when jaemin stuck his tongue out at renjun, triggering the boy to lunge at him. you looked over at jeno, hoping he’d stop the fight, but jeno remained unbothered, finishing whatever he was writing. 

donghyuck silently sat there, the moonmin plushie hidden in his backpack. he went by unnoticed, his plan succeeding. a subtle, sly smirk rested on his lips, one that no one noticed. no one, but you. 

“hyuck,” you called out.

“yeah,” he smiled, feigning an innocent look.

“where’d you hide it?”

“hide what?” he asked, tilting his head.

you gave him a pointed look to which he responded with a shrug, “why are you- hey!”

renjun grabbed donghyuck’s backpack, digging through it like there’s no tomorrow. he lifted the plushie out of the bag, lips lined straight.

“aight, imma head out,” donghyuck coughed, bolting out of the lunch room.

“you’re so dead!” renjun screamed chasing after his friend.

donghyuck slumped against the wall, trying to catch his breath. he was almost successful in framing jaemin for his mischievous act, keyword being almost. he shook his head, your careful eyes popping into his mind.

of course you figured it out, you always did.

“well, we have a month,” jaemin smiled.

“yeah, why don’t we start planning?” jeno suggested.

renjun pulled out his notebook, labeling the page as ‘donghyuck’s a coward - things to do so he’ll pee himself’. And while the three of them were busy brainstorming activities for the group to do before he left, donghyuck couldn’t help but focus on you. 

you were silent, mouth sewn shut ever since he dropped the news. you wouldn’t look at him, and after a few minutes of picking at your food, you excused yourself. he trailed after you, spotting you in a squatted position in the field.

“life can’t tear us apart, huh?” you laughed, plucking the dandelion from the ground. 

he squatted down next to you, staring at the dandelion twirling in your hand. 

“that’s still true.”

“you’re moving, hyuck.” your voice was soft, almost blending in with the whistles of the wind. you crushed the dandelion pedals, the tears starting to prick in your eyes.

he lifted your chin to look up at him. he wiped away the tears, cupping your face. 

“hey, hey, you’re going to be fine! you’ve got jeno, jaemin and renjun by your side,” he reassured.

donghyuck pulled you into a hug, the pedals in your hand drifting away in the slight breeze. he watched them slowly land a few feet away from the picnic blanket. his grip tightened, your tears streaming down your face.

“I won’t let you go so easily,” he promised. 

donghyuck wished he stuck to those words, but here he was, five years later, with zero attempts to contact you. he touched the chain around his neck, fingers trailing down to the jewel with your birthday engraved in it. 

(“you never remember my birthday,” you pouted, “so here’s your reminder!”)

subconsciously, he started to rub it, the fleeting thought that this could magically summon you passed through his mind. he shook his head, ignoring all the unpacked boxes surrounding him and deciding that it was a nice day to go walking.

following the familiar tune, donghyuck walked until he spotted the ice cream truck nearby. just as he was about to stand behind the line, a person cut in front of him. he blinked, shocked that someone, presumably an adult, would cut in front of him for some ice cream. what shocked him more was this unsettling feeling that this girl looked like you. 

“excuse me,” he said, tapping the person on the shoulder.

donghyuck couldn’t believe his eyes, even when he recognized that scar on your eyebrow from when he dared you to jump off the swing, teasing you that you didn’t have the guts.

(“you’re bleeding!” he cried, tears effortlessly falling down his face as you cried along with him.)

if he wasn’t so close, he wouldn’t have been able to see it. 

“yes?” you asked, tone way politer than it was back in first grade.

donghyuck almost forgot why he even approached you, distracted by how the sun created a halo around you. his heart sped up, maybe you weren’t y/n. he didn’t remember you looking this pretty.

“you need to go to the back of the line,” he finally said.

you furrowed your brows, head tilting. “why…” your voice trailed off, a hint in your voice saying that your question wasn’t applying to what he just said.

he grinned seeing the gears turning in your head. “‘cause I was here first.”

if possible, the sun shone brighter, acting as the lightbulb that went off in your head.

“donghyuck?” 

“are you sure you’re free today?” he asked, eyeing the basket in your hand.

you nodded, “yeah. I was planning to enjoy this meal in the park since it’s such a nice day out today.”

“by yourself?” he asked, raising a brow.

“can’t tell if you’re judging me, but yes, by myself.”

“I’m not,” he paused, “intruding on a date with yourself?”

you stopped walking, turning to look to your left like someone was there, “hey y/n, are you okay with this?”

you stepped to the left, looking to your right, “yeah, I’m good, what about you?”

stepping back to the right, you frowned to your left, “I don’t know.” you looked back at donghyuck’s amused eyes, “he hasn’t contacted us in five years, should he really eat lunch with us?”

for the last time, you stepped to the left, “just don’t give him the cake.”

with a nod, you stepped in front of donghyuck, “myself and I think it’s okay.”

“lee donghyuck!” three boys shouted, attracting the attention of the people trying to enjoy a peaceful day at the park.

his eyes widened, looking over at your cheeky smile. 

“maybe I lied,” you giggled. 

and before he could think about the butterflies that erupted in his stomach when he heard the sound, the aforementioned three boys attacked him with slaps on the backs, words overlapping each other. 

“where have you been?”

“you do have a phone, right?”

“why are you avoiding us?”

“did you move back here?”

“are you visiting?”

“guys!” you yelled, catching the attention of the boys, “whoever’s barbecuing might want to check on the food, it’s smelling a bit burnt.”

“and-” you interrupted yourself, laughing at the untold story.

donghyuck didn’t mind, he was busy processing the noise, still not used to the fluttering in his stomach. your laugh resonated in his ears and harmonized with the chirps of the birds. it left him with a stomach full of giddiness.

“it would help if you finished your story,” renjun pointed out, taking a bite of his food.

you waved him off, “I will, I will!”

you continued your tale, recounting countless shenanigans that he missed in the past five years like when jaemin got bombarded with pom poms because he accidentally walked into the girl’s locker room.

(“I guess that’s one way to get their attention,” you laughed.

“it was my first week there! how was I supposed to know they were lying to me?”

“maybe read the signs?” renjun suggested.)

or when jeno had to reject a guy because he slipped a confession letter into the wrong locker. 

(“what a heartbreaker,” jaemin tsked, receiving a glare from jeno. 

“the letter didn’t even have his name on the paper!”)

or when renjun almost blew up the school during chemistry because he refused to listen to his lab partner. 

(“he wanted to impress her,” jeno commented.

“spoiler alert, it failed,” you added.

“she thought I was dumb,” renjun frowned.)

or when you tackled a random stranger, thinking he was the one who pranked you.

“he’s my boyfriend, now.”

did he mishear that?

“right now,” you pouted, plushed  beautifully under the sun’s rays, “he’s abroad in europe.”

“he’ll be back in two days, don’t worry,” jaemin reassured you, patting you on the back.

your eyes held all the stars in the galaxy when you talked about pandas, your favorite animal, and donghyuck thought that that was the only time your eyes would ever put the stars to shame. 

he was wrong.

as you were spewing out stories about your boyfriend, your eyes made him think that he was looking through a telescope, staring up at the night sky. you held a shy smile, melting donghyuck’s heart to mush. 

but then those words echoed in his mind. 

he’s my boyfriend.

they swirled in his mind, traveling down his spine and coiling around his heart like a snake. it crushed him, leaving a pool of disappointment in his chest. he shouldn’t be disappointed.

he looked at your practically glowing figure. your cheeks were faint with red, your lips softer than the blanket on your lap, your hands looking too heavy for you to hold, but you weren’t his. 

“we’re just friends,” he breathed out, words blending with the wind. they were heavier than he remembered, bitter as he let it rest on his tongue. thankfully, no one heard him. except you, of course.

“did you say something?” you asked him, almost swearing that you saw his mouth move.

he blinked, “what?”

you furrowed your brows, “nothing, I thought you had something to say.”

donghyuck shook his head, heart palpitating with your eyes intensely analyzing him. he took a bite of his food, hoping that you wouldn’t bother him now that he was occupied with chewing. and you did, dropping the topic and continuing on about the adventures you had with jeno, jaemin, renjun and- he doesn’t know your boyfriend’s name. 

he scoffed silently to himself, he’ll find out later. he’s bound to hear the guy’s name again, anyway.

donghyuck found it funny how he left the picnic early to get his mind off of you, yet here he was, strolling behind you with the shopping cart filled with various junk foods. it was almost two in the morning, but he couldn’t say no to you, not when he could practically see your cute pout through the phone. 

you hopped on the colored tiles scattered on the floor, humming along to some tune playing in your head. your eyes roamed over the sweet treats on the shelves, and he chuckled when you pointed out that the aisle was labeled as spices. donghyuck thought it was unfair that you seemed to shine no matter the time of day, even under the dimly lit grocery store lamps. he sighed, especially under the dimly lit grocery store lamps.

with a gasp, you grabbed a box of cookies from the shelf, waving them in his face. “it’s your favorite cookies!” you teased.

he hated those cookies. 

“actually, I’m already going with someone to the dance.”

the girl shook her head, pushing the cookies back to him, “who-”

“you got me cookies?” you squealed, appearing out of nowhere and taking the box of cookies from him.

“actually-” his admirer started, trying to take back the gift from you.

you ignored the girl, ripping opening the box and stuffing one in your mouth.

“thanks hyuck!”

“is she the one your taking to the dance?” the other girl sneered, looking at you with a glare.

he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, smiling fondly at you as you giddily ate the cookies you knew he didn’t like. “well yeah, she’s my girl friend.” 

and you looked at him with a mouth full of cookies and cheeks flushed red. you nodded, “yep, he’s my boyfriend.”

he chuckled, his thumb wiping away the crumbs on your face. “you’re not going to leave any cookies for me?” he teased.

while he meant for the label to be platonic (simply a girl who’s a friend), donghyuck knew that his classmate took it romantically. and he almost went along with it, but when jaemin asked him if the two of you were finally dating, he laughed it off. ‘we’re just friends.’ he ignored the discontent in his stomach and how empty it felt when you shrugged off his arm.

regret clouded his mind, forcing another memory into his brain.

“my family is waiting for me in the car,” donghyuck chuckled, your arms locked in place.

“let them wait,” you frowned, words muffled by his shirt.

“I got to get going.”

your grip tightened and you told him three words that he acted like he didn’t hear.

“I love you,” he blurted.

your smile dropped, along with your arms. you stared at him with confused eyes and backed up three steps.

“remember when that girl told me that?” he quickly added, the seed of regret growing, continuously gnawing away at his heart with each second that passed by, “she made a banner and everything.”

silence.

you could see through him, you always did. that made his heart pound even more. you were just staring at him.

“I have a boyfriend.” your voice was level despite the wavering in your eyes and the tense scrunch of your shoulders. 

he swallowed, hesitant to speak. “I know.”

donghyuck clenched his jaw, he knew that. he didn’t need another reminder that he was too late. he didn’t need another reminder that he should’ve confessed to you before he left. he didn’t need another reminder that you moved on. 

“I...I have to go.”

you left him there, surrounded by boxes of sweet snacks in an aisle labeled as spices. 

#hae.donghyuck #hae.req #lee donghyuck #lee haechan #haechan scenarios #haechan imagines #donghyuck scenarios #donghyuck imagines #donghyuck angst #donghyuck fluff #haechan fluff #haechan angst #nct dream #nct 127 #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct 127 angst #nct dream angst

[raendown]

Pairing: KakashiSakuraGenma Word count: 3156 Soulmate au: The one where the first time your soulmate touches your skin it leaves a permanent mark

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header! 

Chapter 222

He met Kakashi first. Well, that was kind of obvious. Genma met the last of the once proud Hatake line when they were both in the academy, not technically age mates although they attended all of the same classes. Back then Kakashi hadn’t covered so much of his body at all times but he’d still carried with him the sort of air that made others stay away, the air of one who stood above the rest even if he was good enough not to rub that in any of their faces. Genma watched Kakashi from afar because he was talented and interesting but never made much of an effort to actually get to know him. They ran in different groups of friends and there only ever seemed to be two or three people Kakashi deigned to give his attention to. No point in trying to make friends with someone who didn’t want any. 

It wasn’t until they were both nearing the end of their teenage years and Kakashi had been broken in so many ways it hurt just to look at him that Genma realized they had never touched before. He realized only because, well, because they touched. For the very first time. And when he pulled his hand away from where he’d clapped it down on to Kakashi’s shoulder with a great deal of frustrated exasperation the imprint of his hand stayed behind. Some of it, at least.

“Just leave it be, Genma,” Kakashi was saying. “I’m paying my respects. The dead don’t care about rain so I don’t see why I should. Look, if you’re worried about me being late for the mission I’ll catch up, okay?”

“Kakashi…”

“Go on ahead without me.”

“No, shut up for a damn second!” Blinking several times in rapid succession did nothing to clear the mark from his view. Half a handprint. He’d never studied his own fingerprints very closely but he knew that mark hadn’t been there a second ago so it couldn’t really be anyone else’s. What he did know for sure was that he definitely had a whole hand on that arm the last time he’d checked. 

Kakashi only had one eyebrow visible at the best of times and when he turned away from the monument it was lifted in question, his uncovered eye dark with the shadows he’d been carrying with him since Obito’s death. 

“Alright, I’ll shut up then,” he said. Amazingly his words came out with just the slightest undertone of humor rather than insult. If Genma’s brain weren’t currently exploding he might have appreciated that a bit more. 

“Look at your shoulder. And don’t you dare try to run!”

So Kakashi looked. By some miracle he didn’t even try to flee, although that might have had something to do with the way his knees wavered and folded underneath him. When he lifted a hand to trace the shape of one on his shoulder his cheeks danced through several different colors that Genma wished he knew how to properly interpret. Trying to figure out what was going on in this guy’s brain had always been more guessing game than exact science. 

“Half?” Kakashi whispered eventually. “What...does that mean?” 

“Oh no you don’t, I know exactly where your head is going, don’t even try to say you must be broken or unwanted or any of that! We’re just...probably waiting on another, you know?” Genma licked his lips nervously, passing the senbon in his mouth from side to side. 

“Another!?” 

“Well yeah. You know, like how Raidou’s got two mums and a dad? Or how Shizune’s got two mums and two dads? We just got to find our other one probably.” 

Kakashi chewed that over for several minutes. While he thought Genma did his best to be subtle about inching closer. He’d been excited about finding his soulmate since he was old enough to know what they were but he knew there were less and less people like him every generation, shinobi more and more frequently taught from a young age not to look forward to something that could end up being used against them. Some people even hoped they never found their match to avoid the chance of testing their own loyalties. Privately Genma had always questioned any loyalty that didn’t leave room for questions. 

Slowly the minutes passed as his shuffling took him closer and closer. They really were supposed to be leaving on a mission, were supposed to have left almost a half hour ago, but it wasn’t like the man they were being sent after would die any different if they arrived at night rather than midafternoon. Well, their pay might be cut some if they didn’t make it look quite like the accident they were contracted for but that wasn’t the end of the world. This was more important. If he used his best puppy eyes the Sandaime might not even punish them. 

Eventually Kakashi lifted his head and took a deep breath, startling to see that Genma was so much closer but very tellingly not protesting. When he spoke every word carried the faintest tremble. 

“I get...two?” he murmured. “Two people who want me?”

“Oh is that- that’s what you were thinking about? God damn it, Hatake!” With a roll of his eyes Genma flopped down on to the ground and threw both arms around Kakashi’s shoulders, more than aware that he was risking a knife between the ribs but also more than willing to take that chance. “We’re your soulmates. We wouldn’t be matched if we weren’t what you needed, you know? I want you, let's be clear on that, and I’m sure they’ll want you too.” 

“Not dumb. I’m a genius.” 

When their eyes met Genma was cheered to see that spark of humor had returned. His first soulmate had a lot of issues but that was fine, they could work on those together. They’d be fine until the day they could finally be whole. 

It took a while. Quite a few years. More than a decade, actually, but Genma would be happy to tell anyone that neither of them had really minded the wait all that much. They had each other through it all and despite the idiot’s protests they spent most of them working Kakashi through the worst of his abandonment issues until he could be called something at least adjacent to mentally stable. In that time they both did their rounds in ANBU and left the organization to seek healthier ways to serve their village. Where Genma chose to fall back in to the regular mission roster Kakashi found himself roped in to taking on a team of genin, something neither of them thought was a really good idea but neither could see a way to get around. 

The kids were, collectively, almost as messed up as their sensei had been. Out of the three the most normal was a little pink bubblegum girl named Sakura who spent most of her time swooning over the last of the Uchiha line. Kakashi did what he could to avoid contact with them just as he did for most people, a habit that Genma found entirely exasperating. 

“How are we meant to fill out the rest of our marks if you won’t touch people?” he’d asked once. 

“Maa,” Kakashi had waved him off. “They can touch you.” 

Genma had rolled his eyes and very carefully not traced the colors filling half of his right palm. 

Leaving the village periodically had been a part of life since he first graduated the academy but knowing that he was leaving Kakashi behind, trapped inside those massive walls until he felt that his new team might be able to survive the world beyond them, that was new. Mostly it was a new amusement. Genma made sure to bring home as many tales of the outside world as he could, playing them up for all the amusement he could squeeze out of watching Kakashi rock between wistful and jealous. Neither of them had ever really known what to do with kids until three of them were unceremoniously dumped in Kakashi’s lap so Genma didn’t feel much guilt over not coming to see the little rugrats. He knew all he needed to know about them from the horror stories his partner told him. 

Or at least he thought he did until the years began to turn and slowly the rest of the village started talking about them. It figured that Kakashi would stumble his way in to accidentally raising some of the most important kids of their generation. If the last of the Uchiha wasn’t notable enough then he had the son of the Yondaime Hokage and if that still wasn’t notable there was always the bubblegum girl who picked herself up off the ground and apprenticed herself to the Godaime, smiling deceptively at anyone who pleased her only to punch straight through the sternum of the ones who didn’t. Genma, when he finally met her face to face, decided that they could definitely be friends after she gained a few more years. 

He didn’t realize exactly what such an errant and mindless thought would become. 

Keeping his distance from Kakashi’s kids became a lot harder once they stopped actually being kids, growing steadily in to adulthood until one day he met his partner at one of the dingy bars they both shamelessly adored only to find that Kakashi wasn’t alone, slightly harried looking where he sat in the middle of four other bodies all smiling and trading jokes about his new haircut. Genma was already laughing a little to see Naruto poking at the spikes now several inches shorter and neater than they had been earlier in the day. 

“It’s certainly an interesting look, senpai,” Cat was telling him - or Yamato, Genma remembered he was supposed to call him now. 

“Maa, it’s an accidental look,” Kakashi admitted. Genma slid in to the seat next to him with a little wave to everyone else, barely reacting when Kakashi swooned dramatically in to his shoulder. “One of the ninken knocked in to me when I was trimming and I took a massive chunk off the left side. It was either leave it like that or make everything match.”

“Well I think it looks nice,” Sakura offered. Oddly enough she even seemed to mean it. 

Kakashi nodded gratefully in her direction only to wilt when he spotted the notepad that Sai had whipped out, already doodling an outline of the new haircut. Apparently the reminder of his own reflection was not a welcome one. 

“So cruel,” he moaned. “All of my loved ones are so cruel to me!”

“I’m sure we’d all be a lot nicer with more alcohol in us.” Well aware that he wasn’t being at all subtle, Genma could only offer a beaming smile when his partner leaned away to glare at him. 

“Extra cruel.”

“Does that mean you’re not paying for my beer?” 

Kakashi harrumphed his way out of his seat and stomped away towards the bar, gumbling under his breath about joint accounts and shared finances. With most of the table laughing along with him it was only too easy for Genma to ignore Sakura’s narrowed eyes. They’d crossed paths several times during her apprenticeship to Lady Tsunade, a source of much amusement for him whenever he pulled guard duty, but he’d never really had a chance to get to know her more than that so he could probably be forgiven for not knowing what that particular look on her face meant. Or what doom it spelled for those that might ignore it. 

When Sakura got up to walk after her old sensei Genma figured she was only going for another drink. Maybe popping off to the bathroom. He would have thought she was going to powder her nose if he had ever seen her wearing more than mascara but even the village civilians knew that the Yamanaka girl was the one obsessed with painting her face. If he had to guess he’d probably say Sakura’s version of dressing up had a lot to do with picking an outfit that best showed off her admittedly impressive biceps. 

Not, of course, that he was disparaging such choices. He’d always been attracted to competence more so than a painted face. 

It took several minutes for Kakashi and Sakura to make their way back across the bar but when they did they were both wearing faces like they’d seen the meaning of life itself and lived to talk about it. Genma was out of his seat and reaching for Kakashi in an instant, baffled when the man only stood there and blinked at him.

“Genma-san can we talk to you outside?” Sakura asked in a strained voice.

“Sure. Yeah. Did you…break him?”

“I think I might have,” she breathed. Then she turned and walked towards the back entrance with jerky steps. 

Without bothering to answer any of the questions from those left behind Genma took his partner’s hand and dragged them both after the pink hair bobbing away from them. Sakura’s compact little body was built much better than either of theirs for weaving her way through the crowd, enough so that by the time they stumbled out in to the back alley Genma was a little worried she might have had time to disappear on them. Thankfully she hadn’t. He did, however, note that her eyes were just as wide as Kakashi’s and both of them looked rather like they would have loved to flee if only they could figure out which direction to go in. 

“Alright, who’s going to tell me what’s going on?” he said. Kakashi gurgled a little. 

“I, ah, okay so...please don’t be upset.” The leather of Sakura’s gloves creaked in protest as she wrung the poor things between her bare hands with perhaps a little too much violence. 

“No promises. Go on then.”

The look she gave him was utterly devoid of humor but luckily for his bones she chose not to punish him for trying to lighten the mood. After a few more times wringing her gloves she allowed them to drop to the ground, taking one very deep breath before turning both hands to reveal her palms. One of them was half colored in. 

“Look I know he’s your- I know that you two- I didn’t mean to! Genma-san I’ve never seen anything like this! I was just trying to get his attention so I put a hand on his shoulder and I guess I’ve just never touched him skin to skin before and-”

“Woah, calm down, calm down. Don’t start hyperventilating. It’s...you left a...a soulmark?”

All the breath in his lungs whooshed out of him with some indeterminate noise when both Sakura and Kakashi nodded in the affirmative. It felt like suddenly there was no more oxygen left. Distantly Genma could tell that his legs were trembling but he couldn’t be bothered to care about that at the moment, not when everything he’d been waiting so long for was coming true right in front of his eyes. 

He didn’t realize how long he stared for until Sakura cleared her throat and he peeked up to see that she looked even closer to flight. Only then did the rest of her words finally sink in and he understood why she didn’t look happier about such an auspicious discovery. 

“You idiot!” Kakashi flinched when Genma reached over to smack him on the back of the head. “How many years have you known this girl and you never told her we’ve got another soulmate!?” 

“A- a what?” Sakura breathed. 

“We- oh sweet chakra farts just give me your hand, here.”

Impatient to seal them all together, Genma didn’t wait for permission to reach over and clasp Sakura’s hand in the one of his own that looked very much like hers, colored in on one half where he’d first touched Kakashi in the same place she had. All it took was a brief press of skin and then he was pulling away to turn his hand over. They still matched, of course, only now they both sported palms entirely covered with the beautiful mix of colors that made up their soulmarks, each half ever so slightly unique to show that they were both bonded to a third. No doubt Kakashi’s mark looked identical and for the space of a single moment Genma thought to pity his first partner that he didn’t have the same ability to just sit and stare at his own mark. 

The moment passed quickly. Kakashi was a sappy guy under the front he put up for others but he wasn’t quite that sentimental. Which was good. Sometimes Genma needed a little help tossing out his old ripped clothing because those shirts had been with him through so many missions they almost felt like friends. 

“Oh.” The breathy whisper of Sakura’s voice brought him back from whatever tangents his brain had been trying to distract him with. “I...both of you!?” 

“Maa, sorry about that,” Kakashi offered sheepishly. 

“Don’t be- you- and you- and you think I need you to say sorry?” 

“I’ve been chipping away at those self esteem issues for years, trust me. Might be nice to have some help with that.” Genma chuckled to cover his nerves. “Seriously though, you don’t mind do you? We’re both maybe a bit old for you but we’ve been keeping a spot on the couch warm for whenever we found you. If you need some time to think about it that’s okay. Just, ah, just know that, um…”

He was cut off from having to finish that thought by deceptively slim arms throwing themselves around his neck. Genma closed his eyes and reveled in the instant familiarity until Kakashi very shyly pressed himself in from behind and then that was it. They were complete. It would have been impossible to find words to describe the difference but it was there and Genma was just as happy to feel it instead of talking about it. After all this time they had found her, the missing piece in the beautiful puzzle of their bond. 

“Who needs time?” Sakura mumbled against his neck. “I’ve got so much to catch up on.”

“Later,” Kakashi insisted very quietly.

It wasn’t hard to guess his meaning. Genma smiled when he felt one of Sakura’s arms tighten around him even as the other let go to reach for Kakashi, all three woven together exactly as they were always meant to be. This, he decided, was one of the better things the universe had created. He might give fate a hard time for all the shit it had thrown at them over the years but it had always been clear to him that this right here, the three of them together, this would always be worth it. 

#rae writes #soulmate collection #kakasakugen #kakashi #sakura #genma #fanfiction

[lizbotw]

Okay. I think I’ll finally confess, because I’m way too excited for us to have matching themes. (Also gonna put that you’re my “buddy” in my description if we are gonna match themes lmao👀)Since you’re favourite character is Reiner, mine is........

......

......

......

.....Bertholdt!!!!! :DDD You’ve guessed right this whole time but it was hilarious watching the entire progress of my keeping info away from you and leaving you in the dark😌ALSO PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THINKIG PROCESS AND HOW YOU ALREADY HAD AN IDEA OF MY “TASTE” WHAT-you have idea how hard it was to keep it from you without bursting into my endles compliments I have for this tall precious boy who deserves the world🥺 I’ve been having some ideas but also wanted to let you guess..however it was too painful to wait because you were RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT but you still were unsure and thought it might be Marco or Reiner still aha, and none of this would’ve even been possible if I never mentioned the name because apparently you didn’t even remembered that he existed in the anime😭 So underrated.....Okay I was thinking of changing my quote in the blog name to one of Bert’s quotes and maybe you could do one too? Not to mention matching icons?🥺It sounds like so much fun but idk if you’re up for it..?? 😌Anyways you’re response to my ask was so soft, I’ll just go happily cry in a corner while doing my hw-

KRISTY ISTG I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU I FUCKING KNEW IT as soon as i saw him i was like “i just KNOW kristy is heads over heels for this fucking man” what other guy would you like!!! the answer is none of them!!! only him!!! okay the rest is under the cut because this was an entire journey and a half smh but you ASKED FOR IT

my thought process? whooo this is messy but okay. also if i say it now i won’t have to say it later so i’ll just unload everything here. much easier than ranting in ur dms. also you don’t have to like... reply, you can just read it because i am just delivering what you asked for

okay i’ll confess too, i wasn’t unsure about my answer AT ALL, that was just a cover up 😭 IDK AJDNSJAJ i was so SURE it was him, but there’s always the chance there’s someone else but also literally could not see you liking anyone else. i 100% knew it wasn’t marco bc um... he’ll be gone soon ❤️ idk when but soon. so he’s not exactly a good choice for a long-term fav, but i was like let’s just add him in for some ~mystery~ and also tbh you kinda exposed urself that it’s not him when you said a long time ago that ur okay with jean-marco matching icons but that you still really want me to figure out ur fav

i was trying to figure out how to say it ¿¿¿ as soon as i saw him i was like this is it. i’ve got to tell her. but i didn’t know how to word it AJJSJDJSJ “why do i feel like you like bertholdt 🤡” “ur in love with bertholdt aren’t you 😐” “bertholdt” (that’s right. just his name. and then i’d see how you react.) “him” “reiner’s bff... u like him don’t you” ALL OF IT and we weren’t as close then so i was like AJSJJSJDJ HOW TO WORD THINGS- the amount of times i almost said it but was like hmm... nvm let’s go back to discussing eren, that’s the safest thing to talk about rn. grrr i was just “it’s bertholdt, u like bertholdt u ABSOLUTELY LOVE BERTHOLDT I KNOW IT 🤡🤡🤡” like i could not figure out how to... convey. it was just 😐🤡😐🤡😐🤡 bc it’s HIM. but i was like ur gonna hate me if i say it like that but those were my emotions BC IT’S SO OBVIOUSSSSS

AND WHAT REINER????? nooo i absolutely KNEW you did not like him, plus you said you already had ur reiner phase smh kristy u are so obvious. SO OBVIOUS KRISTY IT HURTS but you also said you were being very careful and not giving me clues??? so i was thinking maybe i’m looking at things too surface level here. I AM NEVER SECOND GUESSING MYSELF AGAIN

i knew it was a guy even tho you kept saying “they” bc YEAH INTUITION 🧘‍♀️ only maybe i’d think you like christa or whatever but idk she’s like... not the first choice. hmm WAIT LMFAO ALSO YOU ALREADY SAID HANGE WAS UR FAV FEMALE CHARACTER kristy the things you say... the clues were enough to confirm my initial suspicions 😈 man me mentioning bertholdt = opening the floodgates for you YOU WERE SO EXCITED

let it be known that i was onto you from the start 😠 if you told me it was someone else i would be like “okay... lies” but in the back of my mind i would have known you must have an intense bertholdt phase at some point. it’s him. it’s always been him.

okay let me explain my relationship with bertholdt because i didn’t forget him ENTIRELY nooo don’t think that 😭 so he shows up with his buddy reiner and talks to eren ❤️ instantly is on my radar bc talking to my boy??? already am like “kristy vibes.” cut to jean existing 🥰 am only focused on him during trost arc bc eren died :( see reiner and annie together, so cute 💞 but where is bertholdt? i decide to write a thing about my thoughts on all the characters. i end up writing a paragraph on why bertholdt is sus bc he’s all but disappeared at this point 😐 felt bad bc it felt like i was slandering him unnecessarily and i knew i should be nice to him bc you like him and i didn’t want to hurt your feelings. i stare at the draft for weeks. decide to go back and look for bertholdt bc i felt like i had missed him (this brings us to current times). i see him, think he’s an okay guy, however seeing him also just leads to me gathering even more evidence that he’s sus. am panicking bc i want to share my thoughts but i don’t know how you will react. this leads to me tentatively telling you about how i think he’s pretty cool so you can see that i am NOT a bertholdt hater. slowly start mentioning my suspicions of a few different characters, etc. you know how it goes from there. i wanted to say it was bertholdt when i sent you that message but i chickened out idk so i was like “haha, this is NOT my official guess okay <3” 😍 grrr the fact that rn i was just going to be like “it’s bertholdt kristy. i know it and you don’t have to tell me i’m right because i already know i am” because i was like okay, we’re good friends at this point, anything i say will be fine <3 plus i was tired of living with this burden of knowledge AND NOW YOU’VE TAKEN THE REVEAL AWAY FROM ME that’s it, i’m going to find a new fav and not tell you about them and make you guess who it is. this is what you deserve.

he’s always been vaguely on my radar but anyway the point is i kept trying to figure out where he was but i’m blind so therefore i assumed he was up to no good. now that i have looked for him and seen him, i still believe he is up to no good (I MEAN THIS IN A NICE WAY PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME). omg i have things to say about him but i still don’t want to be mean 😭 he must have redeeming qualities bc you like him??? but. he gives me certain ~vibes~ LIKE LITERALLY LOOK AT HIM just standing there with reiner (speaking of which reiner is not off the hook either)

gahhh okay i should really just show you the theories thing okay it’s not so much theories now that i look at it but more so my thoughts on the characters i wrote bc slowly it’s becoming more and more irrelevant the more we talk so like... give me a sec and i’ll show you. ugh you know what i won’t even bother to edit it, you’ll see my RAW thoughts 😭 they haven’t really changed much anyway because i haven’t watched much aot lately. just use ur intuition and you’ll be able to tell which thoughts have changed for me 💆‍♀️ (read as: anything i say about “where is bertholdt” = he was there all along but i accidentally ignored him) he’s so endearingly cute tho... i am infuriated because i cannot love all these characters. this show... how does it do this to me. also you said you really hope i like whoever it is and i feel like for all the other characters it’s very obvious i’d like them bc they’re all so AKDKDKDK. plus i talked about how much i loved most of them anyway, he was one of the few i barely discussed my feelings about 👀

when we were talking about him i just KNEW you wanted to scream about how much you love him. i was like “do it kristy DO IT prove me right” but ur self control is unmatched, i could never. like you sprinkled in some praise for the other characters but i knew who you were REALLY thinking about ;))))) I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TOOK AWAY THE CHANCE FOR THE REVEAL AWAY FROM ME this is the equivalent of instantly knowing the answer to a question as soon as the teacher says it but then someone raises their hand faster than you 😐

hhhggg this is getting long but you wanted to know your type as i see it? (okay i just noticed you said “taste” actually but whatever, same thing) dude, bertholdt is the BLUEPRINT for all the guys you like rn. so sweet... like ur suga selfship. it’s so clear. potentially will do something i don’t want to say evil buuuuut, like hello??? DABI. there’s more but you get the point. the day you tell me you don’t like someone like bertholdt is the day i give up on eren. HAHA THERE’S SUCH A PATTERN plus the fact that bertholdt is legit all of those qualities rolled into one??? perfection. also before i even watched the show i saw pictures of him and he looked like someone you’d like so i kind of had that idea in my head from before to look out for him but i kept forgetting his name bc i can’t spell so i was like “who was that guy again” AND I COULDN’T SEARCH HIM UP BC I DIDN’T KNOW HIS NAME... oops? wowww if i wasn’t so shy and scared of you telling me i was wrong and then never talking to me again we would have been done with this whole thing a looooong time ago damn

matching icons yes omg reiner 🥰 he’s all mine now 🥰 damn wait i just changed my icon and i kind of like the vibes it gives off for me. hmm tbf i’ve been meaning to change up my theme and make a new header but i’ve been lazy. it was going be a cute dark blue/purple halloween theme but </3 yeah. i even had the pictures ready and i just had to edit them akjajsjsj. so if you have a bertholdt quote that means i should have a reiner one right? 👀 well he’s said eren’s name before right? so i’ll just keep my current title 🥰 JKJK AJSNSJAJJA i’ll go look for something. hhhggg wait okay can we do them for november? i know i’m going to want a change when november comes 😭 it’ll be like cleanse from october bc man is life kicking my ass rn. plus if i do it rn i’m going to be obsessed with making the new theme PERFECT and i just Do Not have the time to be busy graphic designing my blog 😭 I’M SO EXCITED FOR THEM TOO but ahhh man i love designing things like this so i’m going to be so focused on that. the fact that i briefly considered changing to an eren icon at one point but then i thought you would judge me </3 yes i have a problem with my obsession, what of it also we are more than just buddies, we’re practically aot soulmates at this point because we keep liking the different halves of all the iconic pairs. jean/marco, reiner/bertholdt... um okay well only those two but yeah i’m just kidding, buddy is good hehe that’s so cute omg pls use that 🥰

okay i hope ur happy, i have just exposed all of my thoughts. this is what you deserve for your precious boy so here ❤️ also i was feeling bad and was about to ask you if it’s okay to be sus of bertholdt because he’s truly a cute baby to me plus he has ur heart so maybe he’s truly good :( but then i remembered you like the villains in bnha so i wouldn’t put it past you to like someone who may or may not do something... suspicious. so i will be deciding myself who’s sus and who isn’t 😠😌 no criticism allowed this man is UP TO SOMETHING it’s always the quiet ones

ALSO I WAS GOING TO GO BACK AND LOOK FOR HIM EITHER WAY I SWEAR not just bc you mentioned him!!! 😭 he was always in the back of my mind ❤️ well i didn’t know exactly who he was but i was vaguely like okay the tall soft one... need to look out for him for kristy’s sake. okay maybe you DID influence me in some way to go look for him because technically i only ever even considered him bc he stood out as someone you’d like. but ur right, so underrated 😭 lo siento bertholdt u are actually too cute for this world and i am a dummy for not realizing that sooner :(

anyway now back to our regularly scheduled program of me talking about the armored titan ❤️ whoever you are mr. armor pls hmu ily ❤️ poor reiner watching me be unloyal rn. so weird that i’m going through a phase for both of them but here we are. this stupid titan is the only thing i’m looking forward to in the rest of the trost arc and if he doesn’t show up i’m going to wail pls,,,,,

mwah yes do ur hw kristy very good. i will not do mine but that’s okay ❤️ ur the responsible one out of the two of us also the fact that you said my response to your last ask was soft and now here i’m boderline yelling at you about bertholdt... duality please talk to me about how much you love bertholdt now or else ❤️

#kristy i’m gonna stomp on u never send me ominous asks again my heart rate was 📈📈📈 #i got the notif and i was like ‘huh??? what does she have to confess??? she wants me to stop talking about eren doesn’t she’ #it doesn’t help that i obviously can’t see the whole message in the notif so i was just 😟 #kristy x bertholdt supremacy ❤️ #I FELT IT IN MY BONES #girl all the signs were there i am the best detective ever goodbye #I AM A GOD so smart i am amazing i should just switch to a criminal justice degree at this point #all of my theories? i now believe they are all canon. every single one of them. everything i guess i right. #you have inflated my ego and there is no going back #asks #kristy 🥰💞 #twin things ✨ #aot spoilers #attack on titan spoilers #bc marco </3

[justkending]

Used to Be Overlooked. Chapter 4.

HEADER: @gh0stgurl :)))

Summary: Steve Rogers was walking down the streets of Brooklyn after finishing a mission. The goal was just to take some time to clear his mind along the city streets, but when he runs into a gorgeous young lady that looks extremely familiar… How can he go about moving on? Who is she? What does he know her from? Was that memory even from this decade?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (Rosalyn Ember/ Y/N ?)

Word Count: 2600+

Warning: SLOW BURN. Soooo slow, but sooooo worth it...

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4:

The meeting with Dr. Banner went really well. It wasn’t that he had the formula wrong, it was just that he was missing one small aspect of the problem he was trying to fix. He never really told you what it was for. He said that it was government based and that he was not at liberty to share too many details.

You understood considering who he worked for. The only thing that worried you was if he would say anything to his co-workers when he returned back to their hideout. If he brought up your name or mentioned you, would Steve connect the dots? Was he even thinking about you? Maybe he already moved you to the ‘not important’ place in the back of his mind.

You left that night more in your own head than you thought you ever could be. You never had problems like this and never expected to run into him again after all these years. You just needed to move on and forget. That’s what was best. For you and for Steve.

__

All the gang including Tony, Nat, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, and Steve were in the kitchen hanging out and talking since it was a slow day. They surprisingly didn’t have any new missions come up today, so they were taking the night to relax since it was a rare occurrence.

Steve was kinda out of it. He was half listening and half daydreaming. There was a lot still swimming in his head about the past 36 hours, and he couldn’t seem to block it even around his friends. Bucky caught him staring into space, and nudged him breaking him from his thoughts.

“Dude, keep up the day dreaming and you’ll start drooling next,” he chuckled softly making sure no one else heard.

Steve blinked repeatedly snapping out of his thoughts.

“What? Oh, sorry,” he said softly.

“Don’t apologize. Just realize that if you don’t want to get made, especially by the spies we work with, you kinda have to look like you’re somewhat listening,” he laughed turning back to the group.

“Right.”

“Banner!” Tony shouted making everyone look over at the doorway as the doctor was walking in with a bag over his shoulder. “How did it go?”

“It went really well. She actually found the problem almost instantly,” he said putting the bag on the counter and moving to get a water bottle before turning back to the group.

“Was she as crazy brilliant as everyone says?” Nat spoke up.

“Extremely. I mean she’s so young, but she has all the masters in all these fields. She started listing them to me, and I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around how she can hold all that information. I was truly impressed,” Banner answered taking a sip from the bottle.

“Says the man who has seven PhDs,” Nat smirked.

“Wait, who are we talking about?” Wanda asked the question everyone else out of the loop was thinking.

“Oh, sorry. I went to meet up with another scientist to help with a new serum I’m trying out in the lab. Her name’s Rosalyn Ember. She’s 26, and works at Williamson’s Labs in-”

“Wait, Rosalyn Ember?” Steve said straightening up with Bucky.

“Yeah, I said it right, right?” he said looking to Stark.

Tony nodded and a sly grin formed on his face.

“Was she as gorgeous as they say? I heard she’s a stunner,” he winked.

Nat shoved him playfully, but still hard.

“Get over yourself Stark. She’s half your age, and you got Pepper.”

“Never said I was going to marry her. Just wanted to see if the rumors were true. Maybe we can recruit her for the Avengers.” he said crossing his arms and wiggling his eyebrows.

Steve would have rolled his eyes had he heard the comments, but he was still processing the name.

“Hey, you good?” Bucky said putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“What did she look like?” Steve said making everyone look over at him. “I-I mean-”

“Is Cap finally looking for a girl?” Tony teased.

“No, I’m just wondering,” he scoffed.

“Sure…” Sam interrupted.

Steve shot him a glare as Bruce went to explain.

“I’m mean she definitely an attractive woman, but like Nat said she’s too young for me,” Bruce laughed. ”But Cap, if you want me to arrange something...” he turned raising his eyebrow. “Maybe I can invite her over for lunch or dinner as a thank you for helping us out. That way we can all meet her.”

“Banner coming in with the set up. I would have never guessed,” Tony laughed.

“I don’t know. I guess I can just see her as a good match for Steve. She seems kinda like an old soul. Extremely mature for her age.”

“Is that so?” Bucky said turning to Steve with his arms crossed. “I think you should definitely set that up,” he said turning back to Banner winking.

“Now, I didn’t say-” Steve started standing up.

“Sounds good. I’ll call her right now,” Banner said.

“You don’t have to-”

“Put it on speaker!” Wanda spoke up.

Steve looked at her with a bitch face, but she just gave him a sly grin knowing exactly what she was doing.

“Banner, really-” Steve tried to intervene, but everything was happening too fast.

“Shhh! It’s ringing.” Tony said as they all went to stand around the phone on the counter. Bucky and Steve staying in the back.

Steve shot Bucky a glare who just shrugged and laughed it off.

“This is Rose,” a sweet voice said making everyone's head snap to the phone.

“Rosalyn? Hey, this is Dr. Banner,” he said looking up towards the group who had grins plastered on their faces.

“Bruce! Nice to hear from you again,” she said seemingly happy.

Steve took a couple of steps closer to the group to hear her better. He knew it was her, but he needed more confirmation, and also just to listen to the sweet sound of her voice once again.

“Is something wrong with the work we did or-” she started nervous that something she did was wrong.

“No, no, no!” Bruce reassured. “I was actually calling to thank you again,” he chuckled.

“Oh, you’re perfectly welcome. I’m just glad that I could be of assistance.” Steve could tell she was smiling on the other side of the phone, and he wished he would have been wherever she was so that he could see it himself.

“Actually, I was just talking with my coworkers-” that made her freeze thinking about who exactly his coworkers were.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, they are actually right here with me,” he smiled looking up at everyone looking down at the phone.

“Hello, Miss Ember. It’s nice to hear your voice. You have quite the reputation in the science field,” Tony said. “Tony Stark here by the way.”

“Mr. Stark nice to meet you. I must say, you have quite the reputation about yourself as well. But not just in the science field...” she said with a bit of sass in her voice that made everyone else laugh under their breaths.

“Touche Miss. Ember,” Tony retorted.

“Anyway…” Bruce said bringing the conversation back in. “I was wondering-” Tony cleared his throat making Bruce roll his eyes at him. “The crew was wondering if you would like to join us for lunch or dinner soon. You helped Tony and I quite a bit with your insight, and therefore the Avengers. We feel it’s only right to buy you dinner.”

“Oh…” there was a pause. Everyone stared at the phone waiting for the answer with suspense. Steve especially. He was nervous for you to say yes, but also nervous for you to say no. If you said yes, then he could finally study you, and maybe ask questions. If you said no, then how was he going to learn more about you and figure out this feeling that was swirling around in gut. “Actually, I’m not a hundred percent sure when the next time I will be available. My schedule isn’t really on the beam right now due to some new research we just got approved on. Perhaps when things slow down a little?”

They all looked at each other kinda shocked that someone would decline dinner with the Avengers. Steve and Bucky sharing a confused look at the term she used, but also knowing exactly what it meant.

“Oh, no yeah. That’s perfectly fine! We can try to find a good time for you when you’re not so stretched thin.”

“I’m so sorry. But maybe one of these days. I would love to meet you all.”

“I think I can speak for the group when I say they would love to meet you as well,” Bruce smiled picking up the phone and taking it off speaker as he put it to his ear and walked in place.

Steve keeping a close eye on him as he watched his facial expressions.

“Oh, yeah... Mmmm Hmmm... For sure... Ok, sounds good.” pause. “Thanks again... Ok, talk later,” then he hung up the phone looking at the group in front of him. “Well that did not go as expected. Maybe she’s more of a workaholic than I thought,” he shrugged.

“Well, take it from someone who knows. When you run a multi-billionaire company there aren’t many days off.” Stark shrugged everyone sending him a bitch face. “What? It’s not easy. I just make it look that way.”

Nat rolled her eyes with Wanda, and Sam spoke up.

“What was that whole not ‘on the beam’ thing? Did anyone else catch that?”

“It means she isn’t on the right track,” Bucky explained making everyone look at him.

“It’s something we use to say back in our day,” Steve stepped in finally regaining speech. They gave him a blank stare. “It just means like she’s a little scattered.”

“Told ya she was an old soul,” Bruce muffled loud enough for everyone to hear.

“So, it sounds like she is definitely a Cap girl,” Sam laughed.

“Hey! Maybe she’s a Winter Soldier girl,” Bucky said faking offense. “We are both getting to our hundred range.”

“Nah, she sounds too sweet to be for you Bucky,” Nat said giving her signature side smirk.

“Bite me Nat,” Bucky said with a trying look.

“Don’t tempt me,” she said back.

He raised his eyebrows and looked at her. “Now I kinda want to.”

“You two cut it out already and date,” Wanda sighed. Everyone groaning with her.

“Let’s circle back to the whole setting Cap with Miss. Old Soul Scientist,” Sam said. “Whatcha think Cap? Or should I take my shot at her?” Sam said pulling up a picture of you, and everyone herded around him to look.

“Damn,” Wanda and Nat said looking at the picture of you accepting an award at some ceremony.

You were dressed in a black and white skirt that looked like it had origami shapes on it. Your top was a simple white fitted blouse, and you worn nice white heels. You had red earrings on for a pop of color. Your Y/H/C hair was half up and half down in elegant curls. It was formal, but fashionable. You were shaking hands with some old man, and smiling at the camera while a huge crowd of people around you looked at you with admiration. 

“She certainly knows how to show off that body she has,” Nat grinned.

“She’s stunning Steve. I would call dibs before Sam get’s the jump on you,” Tony added.

“She’s not a piece of meat you guys,” Steve said leaning down to get a better look at you. They weren’t wrong. This was taken 3 years back, and you haven't aged a bit. You were stunning just like Tony stated.

“Ever the gentleman Steve,” Tony said slapping him on the back before walking toward the exit. “Guess you’ll just have to ask her yourself. No one can say no to Captain America,” he smirked leaving Steve to stew in his thoughts once again.

__

Later that night, Steve snuck over to Bucky’s room since all he could think of was what Tony said, and also the new theories that came to him.

He lifted his hand hesitant to knock, and bother his friend, but then he realized how much he needed to get these things off his chest.

“Who is it?” Bucky said on the other end.

“It’s me Buck,” Steve said.

“Come in.”

Steve walked in closing the door behind him. Bucky was sitting on his bed in sweats and no shirt watching some documentary on TV, but carelessly flipping through the channels.

“Hey. Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, what’s up?” Bucky said sitting up more and putting the TV on mute. Steve leaned back against the dresser next to the lit up screen. “Wait, wait. Let me guess? It has something to do with Rosalyn?”

“Yes…” Steve breathed out. “I-I just can’t- There’s something about her I can’t wrap my head around.”

“It’s called attraction. That usually happens when you have your eye on a certain someone,” Bucky said with a smirk crossing his arms.

“Don’t get me wrong, she’s gorgeous, and it’s not that I’m not attracted to her, but it’s something else.”

“Ok, explain.”

“I feel like I know her. Like we have history, but at the same time, it’s not really history.”

“You’re loosing me.”

“I don’t know how to explain it, but…” He let out a sigh as he threw a hand through his golden hair. “Ok, don’t call me crazy just yet, but… It’s like I know her, but not from this timeline.”

“This timeline? What are you getting at Steve?” Bucky said leaning forward concerned for his friend, but letting him explain before completely brushing it off as his imagination.

“You know what I mean… Think about it.”

“Are you saying like pre-serum us?” Steve nodded hesitantly before looking up seeing the worried eyes of his friend. “Steve. Anyone from that time is almost a hundred or over a hundred years old. There is no way she could be from that timeline.”

“I know, I know!” he said throwing his hands up and starting to pace. “I thought the same thing, but that’s the only thing that I could think about from how I know her. I know it’s not from the past 8 years. It-It’s older… Plus, the saying she said. ‘On the beam.’ Not many people say that anymore.”

“I know, I thought the same thing, but who knows? Maybe her grandpa used to say it, and she just coined it from him. I don’t know what to tell you man. This sounds just as crazy as you think it is.”

“What do I do Buck?”

Bucky let out a sigh as he leaned back and Steve crossed his arms leaning on the wall defeated.

“I don’t know. Truly, I don’t. The only thing I can think of is getting Tony to dig more into it, or maybe Nat. Maybe they can find some things on her that will bring up whatever is making you think all this.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. Didn’t you say something about not being able to find something past 5 years ago?”

“Yeah…”

“You might want to have someone double check you. I mean you don’t really know how to actually use all that technology stuff.”

“Yeah, maybe. I just don’t want to get anyone involved to make things weird. They tend to be kinda in my business about dating. Nat especially.... And right now I just want to figure out who she is before they start teasing about that stuff.”

“Well, if you want help with it… You’re going to have to ask. There is only so much you can do before it’s out of your expertise,” Bucky shrugged.

Steve let out a huff as he started thinking of a new plan. This was going to be more of a hassle than he expected.

Chapter 5

Used to be Overlooked Tag:

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If I tagged you and you aren’t normally on my tag list, I thought you would enjoy the story. Fair warning, it is a slow burn so we will get to the bottom of the issue later, but the burn is what makes it soooooo sweet. I’m really excited for this series, and would love your feedback:) Thank you!

If you want removed let me know. After 3 chapters I will only tag those that I normally do, or those that ask:)

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[lastoneout]

So I keep telling myself I’m not gonna talk about this anymore but it’s late and I’m salty and I figure this would be a good learning opportunity for everyone anyway so whatever. 

I keep seeing people commenting on how the Delpad Week prompt list getting stolen and vandalized doesn’t count as art theft because I guess technically I didn’t “draw” anything while making it. And I feel like this is coming down to people just not understanding the work that goes into graphic design? (I mean I assume some of it is just people wanting to make excuses for doing something horrible but w/e I had my panic attacks I’m over it.) So since we do live in an age where people still devalue graphic design and other computer-based art forms I thought would break down all of the steps that I took when designing the prompt list, as well as the icons and banners for Delpad Week. 

(And as a quick disclaimer there were probably easier ways to do some of the things I’m gonna list but I am still learning and I had never really used Clip Studio Paint before. I am an amateur, be patient with me.)

Step One - Picking Fonts!

Now this one might have come down to me just being picky, but I had a pretty clear idea in my head of what I wanted the “logo” to look like so after opening Clip and determining that NONE of the default fonts came anywhere close to what I was looking for I went to dafont.com and spent like...god I want to say close to an hour browsing the free fonts until I found a 5-10 options I liked.

I then had to extract and install all of the files onto my pc and make sure they worked, which is easy, but still took time.

Then I typed out what I wanted the logo to say using all of the different fonts to see what they looked like and what they looked like next to each other. See it’s a good idea to compliment fancy serif fonts with simple sans serif ones so I needed to pick a fancy one for the “Delpad Week” text and then a simple one for the prompts and dates and such.

Step Two - COLORS!

After I picked the two fonts I wanted to use I had to pick out the colors for the poster and the text. I took the colors for the “Delpad Week” logo itself from a pic of the Sun Chaser/Cloud Slayer I found, both the usual red and then the darker shadow. Which, once again, there HAS to be an easier way to do this but I typed the words out twice in both colors and painstakingly layered them over each other in just the right way to get the “drop shadow” effect I wanted. 

Then I picked a nice light black for the rest of the text that I think I took from the line art on a screen cap I found? Either way it looked better than true black. And took time to find.

And of course I needed to find a good blue for the background which took a bit cuz it needed to match everything else.

Step Three - Sizing! 

I had to look up all of the different recommended photo dimensions for tumblr and twitter icons, headers, posts, ect to make sure the damn things wouldn’t look wonky once I uploaded them.

Oh and since Clip is weird I did actually have to do that typing/layering thing on EACH NEW PICTURE I made. Which making sure they all looked the same sure was FUCKING HARD and took hours!

And my friend took the time to make the transparent Della and LP for the banners and I had to resize and center them on each pic. And I had to find and size/position the clouds and transparent Sun Chaser/Cloud Slayer too. 

Step 4 - Putting It All Together!

Imo this one is the hardest since Clip doesn’t have alignment tools and even if it did sometimes due to fonts and art and such being the way they are true center doesn’t actually LOOK centered to the human eye so there’s a lot of fiddling around with the text and pics to make it look as close as possible to center which starts to kinda numb your mind after a while. Lots of taking breaks and coming back to it to make sure it looked okay.

And of course typing all of the prompts out and making sure the fonts actually do look okay and everything is spelled right and spaced correctly. I have dyslexia, I double check spelling, sue me.

So once you finally think that everything looks okay you get to go upload it to different sites to make sure the icons and such don’t look blurry or get cropped weird and then inevitably go back and move everything around again or in some cases remake them entirely(the deviantART icon took like two re-makes to get right) when they do. Shit takes time, yo.

That might not seem like a lot but let me stress that I made the prompt list poster, the tumblr icon and banner, the twitter icon and banner, the deviantART club icon, and the other banners for things like updates and such. Which all and all took the better part of TWO FUCKING DAYS. 

And that’s not even mentioning the time it took to find a good tumblr theme and set it up and put together the DA club and the twitter account, as well as documenting all of the prompt suggestions and making sure I picked ones that were vague enough to allow for creativity as well as represented what everyone wanted, plus deciding on/writing out all of the rules including the ones for different sites. All of which, aside from some help here and there from friends, I did by myself. For free.

I’m not complaining. I am having a blast running Delpad Week, and making all of this was frustrating but fun. I love graphic design, I wanted to do my best, hell I even got input from my godfather who is a graphic designer on some of the banners just to make sure everything was as high a quality as it could be. And you know what? I was really, really proud of that prompt list. I have been stuck at home disabled for about a year now in awful pain most of the time and only just getting back into drawing and graphic design and I was super happy with how everything came out. I wanted people to see it, I wanted to give Delpad fans a beautiful blog and prompt list to look at after everything we have been through. And not to toot my own horn but I think I delivered. 

So considering all of that you can see why having someone steal the banner, deface it with horrible and triggering content was so horribly upsetting to me. Aside from how defacing something a queer woman worked hard on with words like “burning a pride flag” is abhorrent and drove me to tears and panic attacks, how would you guys feel if someone took something you worked on for two days and shat all over it for a cheap joke? Especially when the only thing you did wrong was want to give a good, cute ship some attention. 

Graphic Design is an art. Taking someone’s unique design, vandalizing it, and then reposting it IS ART THEFT. Just because it took you 10 minutes to open the pic up, color over the original text and use a crappy font to add in your own prompts doesn’t mean making the thing in the first place was that easy. (And again, I’m not complaining about the time and the work. I’m having fun. I love graphic design. If I didn’t want to do this I wouldn’t have.)

But anyway, like I said, I’m trying to not let it bother me anymore. People have apologized and that’s good. But hopefully this breakdown can help you guys appreciate the work that goes into graphic design and be a bit more courteous to the people who do that work, especially for free. 

#long post #fandom discourse #ducktales discourse #fandom wank

[today-we-will-survive]

As The World Burns Around Us, Ch. 4

header made by me

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Taehyung

Genre: Apocalypse!AU, Angst, Thriller

Warning: dark themes, violence, gore

Word Count: 10K

Parts can be found in the masterlist under “As The World Burns Around Us”

Summary: You haven’t seen the sun in two years. The Virus wiped out a good three quarters of the world’s population and then the wars that followed wiped out half of that. After everything happened, it was only a matter of time before the different countries started blaming each other and emptied their nuclear arsenals. You’re still surprised Seoul survived – if you can call what it has become “surviving”.

The pain lingers even as you make your way—quietly so you don’t wake Jungkook—back out of the train car the next morning. Surprisingly, the air is silent. Everyone else must still be asleep.

Well, almost everybody.

A loud banging from down the tracks has you about jumping out of your skin and you spin on your heel to find Taehyung standing in front of the weapons car, the heavy padlock gripped in his hand. He growls and throws his fist against the side of the car, eliciting another loud bang before he turns and disappears around the front of the train.

You let out a breath but it hitches again when the door of the car just behind the weapons car slides open and Yoongi’s honey blonde head pokes out. After looking around sleepily for a moment, his eyes finally settle on you.

“Is that you making all that noise?” he cracks. Sleep makes his voice several octaves lower.

You shake your head. “Tae was messing with the lock.”

Yoongi looks back at the weapons car and then back at you. “He can’t get in without the key,” he says and it sounds almost like he’s reassuring you. “And I don’t plan on handing it over any time soon.”

You just nod. This seems satisfactory enough and he ducks back into his car and closes the door.

The rest of the morning is uneventful after that. You build a fire in the pit and sit poking at it, waiting for the others to stir and make their way into the field—which they do slowly and sleepily. Yoongi is just starting breakfast when a sound you haven’t heard in a long time echoes through the clearing.

“Are those motorcycles?” Jimin asks getting up slowly, his eyes searching the trees surrounding you.

RM and Yoongi are on their feet too, both with guns in hand, cocked and ready just in case. Your own hands grip the hilts of your knives, though they remain sheathed and Jungkook stands there helplessly, his head twisting this way and that as the sound grows louder.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The five of you gape at the sight before you—Hobi busting through the tree-line and flying across the field, atop a quad. His dark hair blows back in the wind, his mouth open wide as he hollers gleefully over the sound of the engine. Just behind him, another four wheeler bursts out of the woods, this one occupied by Seokjin who seems to be enjoying himself almost as much, his boisterous laughter filling the air.

By the time they reach the rest of you, Yoongi is standing there, his arms crossed over his chest, a not so amused look on his face.

“So are you trying to attract all the looters within a twenty mile radius or were you just not thinking about the fact that blasting through the woods screaming your heads off might not be the smartest idea in the world?”

“Oh, lighten up, Yoongi,” Seokjin says as he shuts off the engine and climbs off his quad. “It would have taken us three times as long to get back if we didn’t find these.”

“Plus,” Hobi chimes in. “Now we can travel further for supply runs and get back sooner. You know it’ll be nice having these here. Not to mention they’re frikin awesome.”

“Did you guys get everything on the list?” Yoongi asks ignoring Hobi’s last remark.

“And more,” Seokjin replies gesturing to the bags strapped onto the back of his quad.

Jimin drops his bow next to its quiver on the log he was sitting on. “So, can I take one for a spin?”

“We aren’t keeping these for entertainment,” Yoongi says.

“Aha!” Hobi yells. “But we are keeping them.”

The light haired boy rolls his eyes but you detect a hint of a smile as well. “Yeah, yeah,” he says. “I guess they could be useful.”

Jimin lets out an excited shriek before climbing onto the quad beside Hobi. “Come on, Y/N,” he yells. “You and Jungkook hop on the other one and race me.”

Jungkook looks at you and you can’t help but giggle at him trying to contain his own excitement. His mouth scrunches up in a feeble attempt to keep his smile under control and his eyes sparkle as they dart back and forth between you and the other quad. “Uh…I’d be down for that,” he says and again you laugh at the obvious eagerness in his voice. “How about it?”

Those crinkling starry eyes, that dazzling bunny smile. How can you say no? Especially when you haven’t seen him look excited like this in years. With your own smile to match his, you make your way over to the quad Seokjin rode in on and climb on top. “Fine, but I get to drive first.”

You lost sight of Jimin a while ago as you’ve been winding through the trails after him but it doesn’t really bother you. The only thing you care about right now is the feeling of Jungkook pressed up against your back, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder. His laughter echoes in your ear and you relish in the way his grip on you tightens whenever you go over a bump or make a particularly sharp turn.

“You’re gonna make me piss myself if you keep jostling us around like this,” he yells. You let out a loud laugh and deliberately steer into the path of a thick tree branch. Jungkook lets out a grunt behind you and pinches your sides. “Alright, that’s it. Pull over, you brat,” he growls.

You brake and cut the engine, watching in confusion as Jungkook climbs quickly off of the quad. “What are you doing?” you ask him.

“I told you I have to pee!” he yells back unzipping his pants as he waddles deeper into the woods.

You just shake your head and smile to yourself as you sit waiting for him to return. The forest is silent but for the faint purr of Jimin’s quad somewhere in the distance. The trees make it sound like it’s coming from every direction. Surely, he’s going to beat you back to camp.

“Hurry up,” you call.

“As soon as I’m done, it’s my turn to drive!” he responds from somewhere in the woods.

You grip the handlebars. “Oh, then, uh…take your time!” You won’t lie, driving this thing has been some of the most fun you’ve had in the last couple of years. Your friend’s dad owned a motorcycle and he took you out on it a few times when you were younger so this just brings back those fond memories. The wind in your hair, the fresh air rushing into your lungs. There’s nothing quite like it.

A deep voice cuts through the quiet causing you to stiffen. It’s not Jungkook. In fact, it almost sounds like…

“Tae,” you utter. You climb off the quad and start to make your way further down the path, leaving Jungkook wherever he is to pee in solitude.

You keep going, following the familiar voice. It sounds like he’s arguing with someone but you don’t hear anyone else besides him. At last, you round a bend and halt, quickly stepping back behind a thick tree when he comes into view. He’s alone, pacing back and forth across the path like some wild animal, muttering to himself under his breath. His movements are jerky, almost inhuman. One second his hands are clenching in fists at his sides, the next they’re in his hair, his fingers carding through the mahogany strands and tugging hard.

“You can’t. You can’t,” he utters then suddenly lets out a growl. “I can and will. Nonono, please not Y/N—”

The sound of your name causes a gasp to escape before you can catch it and you slap your hand over your mouth as Taehyung’s head jerks in your direction. He’s breathing hard, his shoulders heaving, his dark eyes wildly searching the path for the source of the noise. You hold your own breath, terror freezing your lungs, but your heart is hammering so hard in your chest you’re sure he can hear it.

Slowly, you peek out from behind the tree again to find that Taehyung has turned his profile to you now. You watch as he tilts his head up as if to sniff the air, his tongue darting out of his mouth quickly, like a snake’s, and his face splits into a smile. Why is he acting so strange? So creepy? So…possessed?

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he says, your name tumbling from his lips like syrup, his voice smooth and taunting and for a split second you think he’s calling out to you but then suddenly he turns on his heel, putting his back to you and he sinks to his knees. His head drops into his hands. “Please no. Please don’t,” he sobs and then he’s back up again, his head lifted high. “But isn’t this what you wanted?”

What he wanted? What does he want? What is he talking about?

“Not like this,” Taehyung continues, bent forward again. Though his back is to you, you can picture the despairing expression on his face by the way his voice cracks. “Please, you can’t—”

The roar of an engine cuts him off and you spin, not even looking back to see if he saw you. You just run, stumbling over tree roots and rocks, running away from this disturbing scene. You turn a corner and your boots skid in the dirt as you come to a jarring halt to keep from crashing right into the quad. Jungkook sits atop it, his eyes wide as they meet yours.

“Are you okay?” he asks breathlessly, surely startled at you coming out of nowhere.

“Yeah, sorry, I just—” you just what? Just witnessed Taehyung acting like some sort of schizophrenic?  Just saw him moving like a man possessed? Just heard him say your name in ways that had your skin crawling and terror rushing through you like liquid nitrogen? “—I had to pee, too.”

This seems to satisfy him enough and he gives you a nod before scooting forward, the startled expression on his face relaxing into a grin. “Well, get on. I bet we could still beat Jimin back to camp.”

You can only nod, your head still too much of a swirling mess, too busy trying to come up with some sort of logical explanation for what you just saw back there. That wasn’t Taehyung. He looked different. Sounded different. You’ve never seen him act like that before. Even in the last two years, dealing with how weird he’s become, he’s still seemed like just a normal person. A jerk but still normal. But this…something is going on. Something is extremely wrong. And for the first time since all this crap happened, a frightening thought occurs to you. What if that isn’t Taehyung at all?

He doesn’t come back again until you’re almost finished with dinner. No one would have even noticed him if it weren’t for RM looking up from his plate and squinting into the darkness. You turn your head, following his gaze, to find Taehyung standing just outside of the fire’s glow, looking like a ghoul with his black eyes.

“Where’ve you been?” Jungkook asks half-heartedly as he picks the last bit of meat off the bone and pinches it between his teeth.

Taehyung just says, “out.”

With a snort and an eye roll, Jungkook gets up and makes his way to the picnic table for a second helping of food. Taehyung starts edging around the perimeter, keeping to the shadows, never stepping into the light as if it might burn him if he gets too close. He’s gotten so much weirder the longer you’ve been there—this has become clear to you since seeing him arguing with himself in the woods earlier—and judging by the suspicion in the others’ eyes as they watch him, you’re not the only one to notice.

When he reaches RM, the boy stands up, stepping into his path causing him to stop short. The two are almost the same exact height but Taehyung seems to slink a little lower, peering up at him out of the tops of his eyes. The rest of you watch in tense silence.

RM leans in close to Taehyung and narrows his eyes like he’s studying him. “You carry the dead underneath your skin, so much so that you forget about the very life that moves through your veins.”

A glint flashes across Taehyung’s face and for a second you think he’s going to hit him. Instead, his expression relaxes and a strained smile spreads across it. He claps a hand on RM’s shoulder. “Whatever you say, Ghandi,” he utters then pushes him out of the way and starts once again toward the train.

While everyone else watches Taehyung go, you steal a glance at Jungkook. His eyes are dark, hooded by his furrowed brow as he glares after his best friend. A second later, his plate clatters onto the table and he makes his way hastily after Taehyung.

You stand up. “Jungkook—”

“I’ll be right back,” he says over his shoulder.

You don’t move until he’s disappeared after Taehyung down the tracks. Then with one more look back at the others, you follow after him.

When you reach the train and make your way around to the other side, you immediately slink against it so you can get closer to the arguing shadows without being seen or heard.

“What was that all about?” Jungkook growls.

Something clangs and Taehyung swears under his breath. “We’re getting out of here.”

Your heart drops into your stomach. No, I don’t want to leave.

“What do you mean we’re getting out of here?”

“Just what I said, Kook. We’re leaving. We’re going back to Seoul.”

“Tae, think about what you’re saying. We have food here. The people are friendly. There’s more of us so we’re better protected.”

Another clang causes you to jump. “Just because I don’t want to sing Kumbaya around the fire, they all think I’m some sort of soulless demon,” Taehyung spits. “I’m sick of it. We were better off when it was just the three of us. I say we go back.”

“But what about food? What about the raider infestation?”

“We can figure that all out when we get there. You should have listened to me. We never should have left in the first place.”

Jungkook lets out a sigh and you hold your breath. “Alright,” he finally whispers. “Alright, but just…let me talk to Y/N first. Just don’t make any final decisions until I’ve talked to her.”

“I’ve already made the decision, Kook. We’re out of here.”

“Just not tonight, alright?”

“Tomorrow night, then.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Taehyung swivels and trudges further down the track toward your shared car while Jungkook turns around, freezing when his eyes land on you. You clench your hands into tight fists, anger already causing tears to well in your eyes.

“No,” you try to say, though your voice only comes out in a whisper because you can’t quite breathe.

“Y/N.”

“No. I’m not going back,” you say then before he can answer, you turn and make your way down the tracks toward the woods. Jungkook follows behind you in silence until you feel like Taehyung won’t be able to hear you then you turn around again to face him. “You can’t tell me that going back to Seoul wouldn’t be the worst idea ever.”

Jungkook brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Tae seems to think it would be better.”

“I don’t care what Tae thinks,” you snap whirling around and throwing one of your blades into the trunk of the nearest tree.

“Y/N,” he says from behind you as you stomp over to retrieve it. “Tae’s always been the one to make decisions in the group. I just want things to go back to the way they were before.”

You rip your knife from the tree again and spin to face him. “Well, take a good look around, Jungkook,” you growl. “Things are never going to be the way they were before. Our best friend is gone. You’re the leader here. Not Tae. Something is seriously wrong with him. I don’t trust him, not for a second. Never will. So it’s time you man up.”

Immediately, you feel a stab of regret at that last sentence. Jungkook’s mouth hangs open as he stares at you. He probably can’t believe you’d say that. You sure can’t.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you say quietly wishing you could snatch the words back out of the air but they’ve already settled. “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to pull you away from your best friend.”

“Then tell me what you want me to think, Y/N,” Jungkook says angrily. “What do you expect me to do with this?”

“I…I don’t—”

“Do you think I’m just completely oblivious to the way he’d been acting for the past two years? Do you think I haven’t noticed he’s gotten worse?”

You try and fail to get a word in edgewise.

“I know Tae has changed. I know he’s not the person I’ve known since we were in preschool and it freaking kills me every day. But he’s still in there. I have to believe my best friend is in there somewhere. Alright?”

“Alright,” you finally whisper with a small nod. You can’t think of anything else to say. It wouldn’t matter even if you could because Jungkook walks away from you after that, quickly disappearing down the path that leads back to the field.

You don’t really want to go back. You don’t want to see anyone. More than that, though, you don’t want to leave.

The cloudy sky had carried on through the day until the gray finally broke up. Now the night is a velvety, deep blue and countless stars wink down at you. There are so many and they seem so close, like you could slice off a piece of one with your knife if you reached high enough.

A breeze lifts the hair off your shoulders and you breathe in deep, savoring the smell of the woods because, come tomorrow, you’ll probably never get the chance to again.

No.

That isn’t going to happen. You aren’t going to leave this place—these people—not after everything they’ve done for you. You don’t care what Taehyung wants. You aren’t going anywhere.

Your dream still tinges the edge of your mind as you wake the next morning to find yourself on your feet, a knife in each hand. Maybe it would be better if you didn’t sleep with your knives near you anymore. Of course, the boys are already gone. When you got back the night before, Jungkook was asleep next to Taehyung with his back to the outside mat. You usually slept facing each other, your fingers inches apart. Obviously, you screwed up.

With a sigh, you put the blades back in their sheathes and hop down from the train car. The sky seems to match your mood. Everything is tinted gray—thanks to the slate colored clouds—and the air feels a little bitter, like autumn is on the way.

You meet Jungkook’s eyes from where he sits with the others by the fire. He doesn’t smile, doesn’t gesture for you to join him or rise to come to you. He just turns away again and starts talking to RM and Hobi. Taehyung, surprisingly, sits next to him, his elbows resting on his knees. A corner of his mouth lifts when he glances your way, as if to say he’s mine now.

You glare back, feeling fire rising from your belly up your throat, but you swallow it back down, keeping your expression blank. Surely, he already knows how this whole thing is affecting you but you aren’t about to give him even more satisfaction by letting him see the hurt on your face.

“Hey Y/N?” You turn to find Jimin sitting at the table, his brow furrowed with concern. “Are you okay?”

You glance back at Jungkook and Taehyung again before meeting Jimin’s eyes once more. “I’m great,” you say a little too enthusiastically. Then you pull a knife out of your thigh holster and flip it in the air before catching it again easily. “Target practice?”

The look on Jimin’s face tells you he isn’t even slightly convinced by your fake optimism, especially since he just witnessed the exchange between you and Jungkook but he shrugs anyway, grabbing his bow off the table and getting up, following after you as you trudge toward the tracks.

“So…uh…wanna talk about what’s bugging you?” Jimin asks once the two of you have been practicing in tense silence for a while.

You throw a knife hard and it sinks to the hilt in the soft bark. “Nothing.”

“Bull,” Jimin says and when you look at him, he tilts his head, flashing a sweet smile.

It’s hard to keep a straight face as you twirl your last blade between your fingers. Jimin stands there expectantly and at last you let out a sigh. “Tae wants to leave tonight and go back to Seoul.”

“So let him,” Jimin replies with a shrug then loads an arrow into his bow and takes aim.

“Jungkook doesn’t want him to go alone.”

“So he can go with him.” Only after he releases the arrow and watches it hit the tree does he turn to look at you. His expression falters when he sees the dark look in your own eyes. “What?”

“You know what,” you utter.

Jimin shifts on his feet. “Look, Y/N, I really like you. And Jungkook is fine too. We’re all just leery about Taehyung.”

“Jungkook isn’t going anywhere without me,” you say. Right?

“I’m just saying, if the only way for Taehyung to leave is if Jungkook goes with him, I’m not going to try to convince him to stay.”

“What about me?” you ask.

“Like I said,” Jimin says with a sigh. “We like you.”

You lower your gaze to the ground and shake your head. “Tae was right,” you mutter with a humorless laugh.

“About what?”

“You only want me around because I’m a girl.”

Now it’s Jimin’s turn to let out a laugh. “It has nothing to do with the fact that you’re a girl, Y/N,” he says. “You’re a cool person and you’re fun to be around. And you fit in with the rest of us. That’s it.” Then he loads another arrow and releases it hastily. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

You kick the dirt. “Ah, I don’t know,” you finally say. “It’s just Tae getting into my head is all.” Then you look back up at him. “I’m sorry, Jimin.”

For a second he chews on his lip in thought as if mulling over your words but then his mouth lifts into a smile again. “It’s alright,” he says. “Though what are you doing listening to Taehyung?”

You laugh at that and go to take aim again when the sounds of someone approaching causes you to whip around quickly. Black hair and golden skin stands out against the green of the trees.

“Jungkook? What are you doing here?” you ask lowering your hand gripping the blade back down to your side.

His dark eyes shift to Jimin, his jaw muscles becoming more prominent as he grinds down on his back teeth. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure,” you say, “what’s going on?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for several seconds, his eyes still locked on Jimin. At last the orange haired boy sucks in a sharp breath and swings his bow and quiver onto his shoulder. “I’ll just leave you two alone then,” he says finally relenting.

You watch him as he goes, a lump forming and growing larger with every step he takes away from you. By the time he’s gone, you feel sick.

“You sure spend a lot of time with Jimin,” Jungkook finally says once the other boy has disappeared down the path.

The sickness in your stomach suddenly turns to anger. “It’s just hunting and target practice, Jungkook. It’s not like I’m going skinny dipping with him. Besides, shouldn’t you be practicing too?”

“Kind of hard to do when I don’t have my gun.”

Your fists quiver as you clench them tightly.  “I’m not leaving,” you utter, your voice low in an attempt to hide the trembling in it. “I am so sick, Jungkook…of losing…everyone.” Then you turn around and throw your last knife. Your hands shake so hard that when you release it, it cuts through the air, completely missing the tree again.

You hear a chuckle behind you and you spin around again to find Taehyung leaning against a tree behind Jungkook. “Apparently practicing hasn’t done you any good,” he says with his arms crossed over his chest.

A hiss escapes through your teeth. “I’ll kill you,” you growl and lunge.

Jungkook grabs you around the waist before you can sink your claws into Taehyung’s smug face and a corner of his mouth twitches up into a taunting smirk.

“Tae, I swear to God, cut it out!” Jungkook yells as he tries to hold you back. Your hair is all in your eyes and strands of it stick to your sweaty face and the world is blurry and you’re pissed. “Y/N, just calm down.”

At last, you’re able to rip yourself out of his grip and rake your hair back. “Calm down?” your voice is several octaves above normal. “I will not calm down! I am so far away from calming down!” Your breath comes out in short bursts now and your heart rattles in your chest.

“Well, get there soon because we’re leaving tonight,” Taehyung says.

Jungkook drags his hands down his face and lets out a heavy sigh. “Tae—”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” you say between shallow breaths. “Something is seriously wrong with you, Tae. You’re acting strange, you’re smoking? You disappear all day, you’re talking to yourself in the woods?

“What?” Jungkook asks turning to face him.

You ignore him. “You aren’t the same person I used to call my best friend. I don’t trust you and I never will.” Then you spin and trudge toward the tree to retrieve your knives.

“Y/N, come on,” Jungkook says.

You stop to yank out the only one that hit the mark before turning around again. “No, Jungkook,” you say. “I’m staying here. You can go back with Tae if you want but I’m not leaving.”

With a growl, Taehyung pushes off the tree he was leaning against then disappears back into the woods headed toward camp. Once his footsteps have faded, you meet Jungkook’s eyes. You can feel the fire in your stomach dying down as the disappointment on his face washes over you.

“You know, Y/N, you’re not the only one that lost everyone they cared about. Tae was my best friend too.”

You clamp your teeth down on your lower lip as the world around you starts to bleed. A lump forms in your throat so you can’t talk. It doesn’t matter. You don’t know what to say anyway.

“What do you want me to do?” Jungkook asks you. You can’t bring yourself to look at him. “I mean, it’s too dangerous for Tae to go back by himself, though I know he would anyway cuz he’s a moron like that. And I know you’ll be safe here with everyone else but I can’t leave you either.”

Finally, you lift your eyes to meet his. “Why?”

He looks hurt. “Why do you think?”

“I thought…last night—I thought…”

“You thought what? You thought I didn’t love you anymore just because we got into a fight?” Jungkook’s fingers go up into his hair then settle on the back of his neck as he lets out a heavy sigh. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” he finally says shaking his head. “I can’t play mediator for you and Tae…I can’t do it anymore, Y/N. I can’t.” You feel your whole body growing heavy and your shoulders and head slump forward. “Whatever,” he says. “Let’s just drop it, alright?” You nod with your eyes still glued to the ground. “Alright. I’m going to go talk to Tae.” Then he turns and starts back toward camp.

“Jungkook.”

He stops and looks back at you. You wring your hands and blink hard, trying to focus on Jungkook’s blurred face. “I’m sorry you lost your best friend.”

Jungkook nods and gives you a sad smile. “I’m sorry too.” Then he turns away again and disappears down the path.

It takes you a while after that to find the rest of your knives. You aren’t really in a hurry though. In fact, the last place you want to go back to is camp. Instead of taking the path back to the field, you follow the footpath past the target tree. Surely, this group of boys have covered every inch of these woods. This group that found you. This group that welcomed you in and gave you clothes and food and a place to sleep. That healed your hands.

You look down at your palms. The skin is shiny and stiff but looks and feels so much better than the red and green oozing mess it was before. Without these people, you wouldn’t be able to throw your knives. You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself. You probably wouldn’t even be alive. And Jungkook wants to leave.

The path forks off in two directions, one to the left and one continuing straight. The sound of running water has your feet carrying you down the one to the left and soon you find yourself standing at the edge of a small pool with a creek trickling into it from the other side. This must be where they get their water.

As if on cue, the stale stench of your shirt wafts up into your nostrils and makes your nose scrunch up. You kick off your boots and socks and dip a naked toe into the water. It’s obviously much colder than the heated showers but it makes for a nice distraction for keeping thoughts about everything at bay. You clench your teeth against the chattering until they hurt as you force yourself to wade in. You manage to make it in up to your waist before your legs are too numb to take you any farther, but it’s working. There isn’t a thought in your brain other than cold cold cold cold. You can’t even remember why you were sad in the first place.

Slowly, you peel off your pants and shirt and start scrubbing them against each other under the water. You may not have any soap but hopefully the friction will get rid of at least some of the dirt and sweat. Once you think they’re as clean as you can make them, you lay them out across a rock to dry in the sun. Immediately, when you step out of the water, the air begins to warm your body up, bringing memories back to the surface of your mind.

This time, you dive in headfirst.

The ice fills your head again and washes away every thought so you’re left only with the comforting darkness. Maybe you could just stay down there for a little while.

Just then a burst of bubbles flies into your face and a current pushes you backward. You kick hard to bring yourself to the surface and break through just a few seconds before another dark head pops up, sending a wall of water into your eyes and mouth. You let out a sputtering cough.

“What is wrong with you!”

You’re still trying to clear the water from your vision when a pair of strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into a hard, very cold chest. Immediately, you stiffen, feeling strands of wet hair brush your shoulder. But then he lets out a sigh and you relax against him, bringing a hand up to tangle your fingers in his hair.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Jungkook whispers into your neck. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry you thought I didn’t love you anymore. I’m sorry I made you think I wasn’t on your side. I’m so—”

“Jungkook.”

He doesn’t move, just keeps his face buried in the crook of your neck. But you feel his grip tighten on your torso and your breath hitches when he lets out another shuddering sigh. At last, he leans back but only long enough to slide his hands up to the base of your neck and pull you into him. His lips crash against yours, wet and cold but fervent and at first you’re taken by surprise. But it only takes a second for your body to listen to your brain and then you’re kissing him back, your lips sliding over his, slick from the water dripping down both of your faces. Your toes slip on the mossy rocks and finally you just wrap your legs around his slim waist, your thighs rubbing against the rough material of his jeans, and just let him hold you up like he has in every other way for the past two years.

When you do finally pull away, breathless and lightheaded, you rest your forehead against his, your eyes still closed as you will yourself to come back down to earth.

“I really am sorry, Y/N,” he utters, his breath warm against your swollen mouth.

“I know,” you reply. “Me too.”

“I’ll stay.”

You pull back at this, finally looking at him for the first time. You already know he’s shirtless since you could feel his bare skin against yours yet somehow you’re still struck dumb at the way his golden skin seems to sparkle, even in the overcast daylight. His black hair hangs in strings in his eyes which, also somehow seem to catch gradients of light that aren’t really there. Then again, it’s always seemed like he held the stars in his eyes. Now is no exception.

“You what?” you ask. “You talked to Tae? Is he staying too?”

Jungkook shakes his head slowly, pulling his rosy bottom lip in between his teeth. “Yeah I talked to him,” he says after a moment. “He was pissed and stormed off but…if you want to stay here, I’m staying with you. You’re more important to me than his ego is.”

You pull him back in for a tight hug, eliciting a grunt from the back of his throat when his chest hits yours. “Thank you,” you say and kiss his jaw before squeezing him tighter. “I really like it here. I like the guys.” Then you quickly pull back. “But I promise there’s nothing going on between me and Jimin.”

“No, I know,” Jungkook says and you notice his ears tinge pink. “I’m sorry for accusing you earlier like that. I was just angry about this whole situation.”

“No, I get it,” you say. “How’d you find me, anyway?”

He lowers his head bashfully. “I kind of followed you.”

“Stalking?” You let out a mock gasp. “I didn’t think you had it in you. Sure, Tae, maybe, but not you.”

A dark look passes over his face at the mention of the name but you quickly wash it away with a playful splash. He shakes his head and lets out a light laugh before getting you back. This, of course, causes a full on battle to break out.

“I just came to make sure you were okay and this is the thanks I get!” Jungkook yells over the sounds of the crashing water.

You immediately stop splashing and focus on his dripping face. “I am, and thank you,” you say and pull the strap of your bra up from where it has slipped off your shoulder. You can tell Jungkook doesn’t find your words very convincing. “I was just washing my clothes out,” you say and nod at the rock where your pants and shirt are still drying. Or attempting to dry. It looks like you’ve managed to soak them again with your little splashing fight. Jungkook’s shirt lay in a wet lump next to them. Apparently, neither of you are going to have dry clothes for a while.

“Y/N.”

You turn again to look at Jungkook. His mouth is barely turned up into a smirk but his eyes are full of concern. Carefully, you bring a hand up and touch his mouth with your thumb. “Your lips are turning blue,” you say. “We should probably get out.”

Before he can react, you kick your way back to shore and crawl up onto the bank. Jungkook follows close behind and you can’t help but let your eyes follow the water droplets that catch the light as they slide down his stomach and soak into his waistband.

Jungkook sits down beside you on the rocks and props his elbows on his knees.

“I miss Tae,” he says suddenly and you lift your eyes to meet his. You’ve been dealing with the nightmares and dark vibes from Taehyung now for two years, but before today, you never really stopped to think about how Jungkook has been affected by all this. “The old Tae,” he adds.

“Me too,” you utter. You reach over until your fingers find his.

The two of you stay like that for several silent moments. You notice the sky beginning to grow dimmer and the air starting to cool. Jungkook is the first to get up and you watch as he makes his way carefully toward the rock where his shirt and your clothes lay. The water still weighs heavily on his jeans causing them to sag low on his hips. He’s so much more toned than he was just a few years ago. He and Taehyung both were more on the lanky side back in college. You were just kids, going to school and just trying to figure out what you wanted to do with your lives. But Jungkook looks so different even now. Less like a boy and more like a man.

The moment the two of you step foot into camp, you know something is wrong. None of the boys are there but you hear commotion coming from the direction of the train. With a worried glance shared between the two of you, you jog past the clearing and down the tracks, your boots adding the sound of crunching gravel to the smattering of angry voices. When you turn the corner, you find Jimin and Hobi standing outside of the infirmary car looking in.

“We have to go find him,” Jimin growls. You’ve never heard him this serious before. It sends chills down your spine.

At first you wonder where the other three are until you get closer and realize they’re just inside the metal box, Seokjin sitting cross-legged at the mouth of the car while RM paces angrily across the floor, his footsteps echoing throughout it in hollow thumps.

“He’s a freaking psycho,” Hobi responds. “It’s too danger—“

“I DON’T CARE!” Jimin screams and throws his fist at the side of the car.

Where’s Yoongi? But your questioning thought is quickly answered when you hear a groan in response to the loud noise and see a pale form laying on a mat just behind Seokjin.

“Could you not?”

“Yoongi?” you ask when you recognize the voice and peer around Seokjin.

When the dark haired boy notices the two of you are there, he quickly jumps down and out of the way and you can’t help but gasp at the sight. While the others continue arguing, you tune them out as your brain tries to make sense of what you’re seeing. He’s almost unrecognizable. His eye that isn’t covered by a wad of blood-soaked gauze is surrounded by a deep blue bruise and swollen shut. The bridge of his nose is broken and split open, crusted with brown and bright red. A deep gash runs down his cheek, slicing into his lip and his neck is encircled by a harsh, red line and littered with patchy marks that to your horror resemble fingerprints.

“What happened?” Jungkook asks from beside you as you continue to discover even more damage to the boy.

“Taehyung happened,” Jimin growls and finally you tear your eyes away from Yoongi to find fire raging in his. “He attacked him when the rest of us weren’t here.”

You suddenly find it harder to breathe. “He did this? Why?”

“Trying to get the key to the weapons car,” Yoongi utters at the ceiling of the train car.

“Did he get it?” Jungkook asks.

Yoongi lets his head fall limply to the side and the slit appears again between his dark stained eyelids. “What do you think?”

“Stop talking, Yoongi,” RM says from farther back in the car where he digs around in a bag. “You don’t need to damage your throat any more than it already is.”

You take a staggering step back, your head shaking erratically as you try to make sense of all of this. “But…Tae would never—”

“Never what, Y/N?” Jimin barks. “After everything you told me about him? How different you said he is now? How creepy he’s been acting? You honestly don’t think he’d do something like this?

“Hey man,” Jungkook says stepping in front of you. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

A soft grunt cuts the argument short and everyone turns their attention to their broken bodied leader. He’s sitting up now, dabbing the bloody gauze against his hurt eye and for the first time you see just how damaged it is. Two gruesome gashes run down from midway up his forehead to his cheekbone, too wide and jagged to be from a knife. They look more like they were made by…fingernails. His eyeball is bloodshot, surrounded by torn skin that’s ragged and stained red. You feel your stomach churn at the sight, your heart dropping at the likelihood that he’ll never be able to see out of it again.

Jimin steps back, raking his hands through his orange hair before throwing them down to his sides. “Whatever. I’m going after him,” he says, his voice suddenly several octaves lower. “And this time I’m aiming for the bastard’s heart.” Then you all watch in tense silence as he grabs his bow and quiver from where they lean against the train and trudges away back toward the field.

The gravel crunches beside you as Hobi shifts on his feet. “Maybe I should go with him.”

“I’ll join you,” Seokjin says and pulls his gun from the holster strapped to his side. “Don’t worry, Yoongi, we’ll find him.” Then he turns to you and you hear his breath hitch. “I’m…sorry, Y/N.”

You can only nod in response and cast your eyes down at the ground. Your vision blurs and you blink rapidly in an attempt to keep the tears back but that only makes them fall.

For the rest of the day, you stay with Yoongi in the infirmary car. It feels weird, almost like you’ve come full circle, only this time you’re tending to his wounds and making sure he’s comfortable instead of him doing the same to you. Any time he opens his mouth to talk, you tell him to be quiet and try to rest. Sure, it’s better for his bruised vocal cords if he doesn’t speak but more so, hearing his raspy, damaged voice just reminds you further of the fact that whoever is out there looking and sounding like Taehyung, it’s not your best friend.

RM and Jungkook have gone back to camp to keep an eye on things and guard it in case Taehyung makes an appearance but something tells you he won’t be coming back—not alive at least. Just the thought of him out there, with the rest of the guys hunting him like an animal makes you feel queasy and several times you have to leave the train car for some fresh air.

The last time you return, Yoongi is sitting up, his face twisted in pain and his hand clutching his side. You can only imagine what the rest of his body must look like. Surely, his pale skin is stained purple and black  under his clothes. The thought has anger slicing through you like a hot blade, setting your blood and bones on fire. For a split second you hope the others do find Taehyung and end things once and for all. But then…

You remember meeting him for the first time. You and Jungkook had just returned from your third date. He had you pressed up against the door, his mouth moving fervently against yours, his thumbs rubbing circles on the exposed skin between the hem of your shirt and the waist of your jeans. Then, before you could process what was happening, the door behind you disappeared and you stumbled backward, taking Jungkook with you and crashing against a hard chest.

“Ah, yes, I thought I heard something risqué going on out in the hall,” the boy behind you had said and you’d whipped around to come face to face with Jungkook’s roommate that you’d only ever heard about until then.

While the initial meeting was a bit awkward, the friendship itself wasn’t in the slightest. From then on, Taehyung managed to make a home for himself in your heart. He never tried to get between you and Jungkook, never acted like he thought you were stealing his best friend from him. In fact, he welcomed you into his life as if you’d been there all along. Being his friend was as easy and natural to you as being Jungkook’s girlfriend. The three of you fit so well together and you were ecstatic when you walked into one of your new classes at the beginning of the semester to meet his wide brown eyes. His mouth had spread into that boxy smile at the fact that you were going to be spending two more hours together two days a week.

A pained groan brings you back to the present and you look up again to find Yoongi’s face twisted in agony as he tries to stand up.

You quickly move to him and guide him back down. “What do you think you’re doing?”

His back hits the mat and he lets out a heavy sigh. “I should be helping the guys find Tae,” he says, his voice still so ragged and damaged sounding.

“Not a chance,” you say. “You need to rest.” Yoongi lets out another sigh and you look at him, trying very hard not to focus on his damaged eye. Your stomach turns at the thought of Taehyung doing that with his hands. “Do you need anything?” you ask after a minute.

He shifts uncomfortably and opens his good eye. It’s still purple and bruised, of course, but the swelling has gone down significantly thanks to you applying a cold, wet rag to it periodically. “Yeah,” he utters. “I need to go after that punk and make sure he never screws with me or any of the other guys again.”

You suck in a sharp breath at his tone. There’s no doubt in your mind that if given the opportunity, he’d kill the boy—the boy that used to be your best friend. That brought you coffee every day to your shared class. That stayed up with you and Jungkook having late night study sessions. That texted you memes and silly emojis when you were feeling down. You want to defend him. You want to tell Yoongi that this is not the boy you knew. That he used to be goofy like Hobi, sweet like Jimin, friendly like RM and nurturing like Seokjin. But obviously there’s no point.

What are you supposed to do when everything you’ve known about a person contradicts everything you’ve seen just in the last two years—and especially the last few days? That now his whole demeanor screams of danger, of darkness, of there being something wrong, yet your heart, your head tells you no, this is Tae. This is your Tae. You must protect him.

“Y/N?”

You didn’t even realize you were crying and now when you look up at Yoongi, you see his blurry form peering at you, his shoulders sagging when he notices your tears falling. Quickly, you drag your hands down your face, erasing any sign of them.

“I’m fine,” you say curtly. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? I’ll go get you something to eat and drink.”

“Y/N,” he says again but you don’t look at him as you get to your feet and jump down, your boots crunching the gravel resolutely.

It grew dark while you were in with Yoongi and now you make your way down the line of train cars almost blindly but for the dim, silver light of the moon behind the clouds. You still haven’t seen any of the guys come back or heard any news in a while and you can’t help feeling worried. Are they still out there looking for Taehyung? Have they found him? Since he managed to get the key from Yoongi, is he armed? Are any of them hurt?

When you hear footsteps on the gravel ahead, you stop abruptly and squint into the darkness, knives poised to attack. You let out a sigh when Jungkook steps out of the shadows.

“Did you leave RM alone?” you ask him.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, just keeps coming forward until he runs into you, his arms weaving around you waist, his nose nuzzling into your neck.

“The guys are back,” he utters into your skin. “They didn’t find Tae.”

You can’t help feeling a little bit of relief at the fact that he’s still out there somewhere, though you can only hope that wherever he is, it’s far away from here and that the distance is growing.

“How’s Yoongi?” Jungkook asks, lifting his head at last to look at you. The darkness makes it hard to see the details of his face but from the sound of his voice, you can tell he’s exhausted. You lift your arms and squeeze his biceps in an attempt to bring him some sort of comfort.

“Itching to get out and help,” you say. “Something tells me he’s not the type that likes to lay around feeling useless.”

“I can’t believe Tae did that to him,” Jungkook whispers. “What happened to Tae, Y/N? Where’d our best friend go?”

You can hear his voice quivering and you feel your heart sink into your stomach as he once again pulls you in and buries his face in your shoulder. Your arms wrap around him, one hand slipping up to tangle your fingers into his hair as he trembles. The air fills with the sound of his soft crying and you turn your face to the sky as you try to blink back your own tears. Your chest aches, your head swims. You wish you had answers. You wish you knew what to say or how to fix this. Now you know how Yoongi feels, but while he lays there in the infirmary car with a broken body, wishing so badly as a leader that he was out protecting his boys, you stand here, feeling useless and broken yourself as your boyfriend mourns the loss of his childhood best friend.

Dinner is quiet, the air usually charged with conversation and laughter is tinged only with smoke and tense silence. It’s obvious that the others are pissed over the fact that they weren’t able to track Taehyung down. Jimin won’t even look at you and you don’t know if its because he’s still angry at you about earlier or if he actually, in a way, blames you for all of this. You can’t help the guilt that washes over you as you look around at the others. They were doing fine before the three of you came along. What’s worse, if you hadn’t been such an idiot and hurt yourself the way you did, or at least not hidden your injury from Taehyung and Jungkook for so long, you probably never would have even come across the group. Who know’s where the three of you would be now? Who knows what condition Taehyung would be in?

The guilt sinks in deeper when RM comes back from staying with Yoongi and Hobi leaves to take his turn. This of course reminds you that their leader wouldn’t be in the state he’s in now if you hadn’t let it slip to Taehyung that he was the one that had access to the weapons car. You couldn’t have painted a larger target on his back if you tried.

Jungkook is quiet too, keeping his eyes glued to his plate and using his fork to push the food around. You aren’t very hungry either. It doesn’t seem like anyone is. After all, how can you eat when your leader is wounded and the one that did it is still out there?

It’s weird having just Jungkook there laying beside you. Taehyung has been on your other side almost every night for two years now and though your back is to his mat, your eyes watching Jungkook as he sleeps—his face to your relief no longer wearing the anguish that’s been there all evening—the emptiness behind you is painfully apparent. Your ears search for the sound of his steady breathing, your leg pushes back to try to knock against him but it only slides across the mat. You don’t want to sleep because you know nothing but awful dreams are waiting for you. You have nothing good left of Taehyung except for the memories of before and even those now are tainted by the nightmares. Even the last thing you said to him haunts you as it ricochets through your brain. I don’t trust you and I never will.

A sob escapes before you can stop it and you quickly cover your mouth with your hands to stifle any further sounds. You watch as Jungkook flinches at the sudden noise, his forehead creasing, his eyelids fluttering and you’re afraid you woke him up. But then he lets out a faint moan and his face smoothes over again. If you try hard enough, you can almost imagine that none of the last two years has happened. That you’re lying beside your boyfriend, watching him sleep and if he were to wake right now, his eyes would slowly open, eventually focusing on you and his mouth would spread into a lazy grin. You miss mornings like that. You miss your old life. You miss when things weren’t complicated. When the scariest thing you had to worry about was whether or not you were going to pass your classes. You miss what you didn’t know you had at the time, the absence feeling like a huge gaping hole in your chest. You study him, even through your blurred vision, memorizing his face like this in hopes that it’ll bring you just a little comfort while you feel like everything is crashing down around you.

Sleep eventually comes, and along with it, the inevitable nightmare that’s been sitting in the shadows, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.

*

This time, you’re not given the luxury of starting off with a happy memory. No goofing around in the dining hall, no hiding your amusement and teasing comments behind your fingers while watching a play put on by some drama majors, no hanging out at the student art showcase, watching Taehyung ramble on and on about how amazing his best friend’s piece is while Jungkook laughs shyly beside it.

No. This time there is no calm before the storm. You’re instead dropped directly into it.

You’re in their dorm room, the whole place plunged into darkness but for the cold moonlight coming in through the window. A shadow stirs on the other side of the room and in the dim light, you catch sight of Taehyung’s gleaming eyes—and they’re focused intensely on you.

“Tae?”

He doesn’t respond, instead taking another slinking step in your direction. His head is lowered, the whites of his eyes standing out as dark pupils watch you from just beneath his eyelids. You’ve never seen anything so sinister and you feel the panic seize you as you back up more. Your eyes dart to the bed on your left and you see a motionless lump. Jungkook, curled up hugging his pillow, his back to you.

“Jungkook?” you whisper, your voice shaking so violently that his name is barely audible. He’s within reach but for some reason your body can’t do anything but try to retreat from the boy in front of you. “Jungkook?” you say again.

“He can’t hear you,” Taehyung says, his voice so terrifyingly low that you can feel it vibrating in your bones.

You turn back to him again. “Tae, please.”

He only shakes his head as he continues toward you, his dark eyes flickering with something animalistic. His tongue swipes across his lower lip and his teeth gleam and you search those eyes, search that smile for any sign of your best friend but he isn’t in there. A monster stalks toward you, wearing the face of a person you loved.

“Tae, please remember me,” you plead as you begin to back up, your hands shooting out behind you to keep yourself from falling.

“Tae’s gone,” he finally utters.

Your back hits the wall but you keep trying to retreat, as if you could melt into the plaster if you concentrate hard enough. It doesn’t work and with two more strides of his long legs, Taehyung is there, his unsympathetic eyes boring down into yours, his head tilting to the side in mock curiosity. At last he leans in until his cheek presses against yours and his lips are centimeters from your ear.

“He’s gone,” he repeats. “And he’s never coming back.”

*

A searing pain rips through your scalp as you’re wrenched from your nightmare by your hair. Scratchy skin presses against your temple and the smell of sweat and cigarettes invades your senses.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” a deep voice rasps, lips against your ear. His voice sends a stab of ice through your whole body and you find yourself paralyzed. “I’m leaving and I’m taking Jungkook with me.” Your eyes dart to where Jungkook was when you fell asleep but there’s only an empty mat. “You’re going to come after him,” the voice continues, “and if you don’t, Y/N, I swear to God, I’ll put a bullet through that insufferable coward’s skull.” The words aren’t reaching your foggy brain fast enough and you have a hard time processing exactly what he’s saying. You only know panic. Panic because the image of those evil eyes is still burned into your brain. Panic because you were supposed to wake up but you’re still living the nightmare. Only now, the pain is so much more real. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment,” he purrs. “For the perfect opportunity to completely destroy your perfect little world.”

Your head is bent so far back you can’t breathe. Your scalp feels like it’s on fire but somehow you manage to swing your arm back, reaching for his hands. When you do, he twists your hair harder. You gasp from the pain as stars burst at the edges of your vision. His breath is hot in your ear. “Come find me, Y/N,” he whispers. ”Meet me where it all began.”

Then a hard knock to the base of your skull has you falling into blackness, no bottom in sight.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #networkbangtan #kwritersworldnet #bts series #bts apocalypse au #apocalypse au #bts au #bangtan #bts jeon jungkook #bts jungook #bts kim taehyung #bts taehyung #bts v #jungkook #taehyung #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts ot7 #as the world burns around us

[sprydecreates]

endgame

requested: nope

warnings: drinking, heartbreak, extreme self doubt, language

pairings: calum hood x reader

type: angst ; actual body writing (my rat brain doesn’t know what to officially call it) ; 1.9k words ; gender neutral 

summary: rejecting calum wasn’t planned, or wanted. was it for the best?

a/n: hi! i felt like breaking hearts on this good day. was looking for a header earlier, and seen lyrics from halsey’s ‘sorry’ and thought it’d be a wonderful song to write about in a sense.

also gonna try and actually write, not just a hc list this time. hope it’s good! didn’t necessarily proof read it out of fear of hating it so sorry if there are any misspellings or anything.

let me know how you feel about it!

it’d been a couple of months since you moved to california, and things were going pretty nicely. you got back into college, and were excelling. your job was sable, and rather flexible with your schedule and requests for time off. that was great, considering calum was finally back from visiting his family australia.

you had met calum while moving in, considering your apartment was in the same complex as ashton’s (where he was heading). he and ashton helped you move in, as you and a couple of friends who came along to help were struggling on the sidewalk with your hand-me-down couch.

the next day, calum came knocking at your door to see if you were settled alright. you were in the middle of unpacking dishes, and he asked if he could help you. you agreed, cause, why not have a cute australian boy help you move in? he just never left after that; even though he told ashton he’d get to his place soon.

the days have went on, and as cliche as it sounds, you both bonded and eventually had designated cups at each others houses (his is a meme mug that you bought that says “happiness is friends fishing together”, yours is a game of thrones cup with a sword as the handle), matching blankets (that were picked up on a late night target run; his says “mrs” and yours says “mr”), and swapped a pillow each, so you’d be comfortable sleeping.

things were going pretty well, to say the least. only thing that scared you, was rejection. did you like calum? yes, a little too much, but you told yourself several times that it wasn’t love. since it’s convenient to find out about him online, you decided to see if you were his type. seems as though you weren’t, from the girls he was rumored to date at least.

considering this, you called your best friend from your hometown, and explained everything going on. their only advice, was that you needed to talk to calum; they couldn’t tell if calum liked you, or was just being friendly. feeling nervous and hesitant, you invited him over for the chat.

like most of the times when you have a crush, you sat and debated on whether or not you were up for heartbreak. you had never really felt heartbreak, because no one had ever returned your interest for a significant amount of time. so, you didn’t know how to proceed. do you risk telling calum, and getting nothing in return and live your life alone? do you tell him and get a healthy relationship that you’ve convinced yourself would never be endgame?

when calum finally arrived at your apartment, you had cried all you could thinking about every way he could reject you, or how it would end. at this point, you were happy you didn’t have to go through anything that could blindside you.

after catching up, calum brought up the idea of the party, “so, me ‘nd ash were thinking about having a get together with all our friends now that we’re back. to like, catch up with everyone. you wanna come?”

“who all will be there,” you questioned, setting your cup of koolaid down.

“the guys, their girls, some friends.”

“very extensive list, thank you calum,” you joked, raising your eyebrows to signal so. it was nice, feeling comfortable after hours of terror sweats.

he let out a breathy laugh, “sorry, i really only know for certain about eight people. maybe more, maybe like one less.” he sat his fishing cup down, and looked up for your reaction.

you shrugged, thinking more about ‘their girls’ and ‘friends’ and which one you were categorized as, “when?”

he noticed your expression change, “uh, i think this friday but i’ll have to make sure.”

you nodded, “okay, i should be free.”

there was a small silence before calum cleared his throat and stood up, “well i should uh, prolly get going. supposed to meet ‘shton in a bit for dinner.”

you stood up and followed him to the door, “alright, have fun?”

calum turned when you ended your sentence with a question, and shadowed the doorway, “you good?”

you nodded again, tempting yourself to blurt out your thoughts but your fear took you over, “yeah, why?”

“you just,” he looked down at the tips of his shoes, moving them in an anxious manner, “seem, different? i don’t know, like you seem like somethings on your mind.”

“oh, nah,” there was, “just a bit tired,” a lie.

calum nodded, and stepped outside, “alright. i’ll let you know when everything will be set up, okay?”

“alright.”

“call you this evening?”

you nodded one last time and watched him disappear down the hall after your confirmation. after shutting and locking your door, you texted your friend and told her you chickened out, but were going to try and speak to him after the party.

wonderful. two more days of restless thinking, unbelievable amounts of notes written in your phone, and hours of staring into space just thinking of what could go wrong. calum calling didn’t help, either. he sounded more sweet, and soft than usual. or did he always sound like that? did he know about you maybe liking him and was trying to find ways of letting you down easily and this was step one?

ugh. the thought of it all made you sick. literally. friday came around, and you really had made yourself sick with worry. you wanted to get it over with, though. combating sickness AND heartbreak at the same time? undefeated combination. that being said, you didn’t bail. instead, you just showed up in sweats and a beat up old shirt.

no one was really dressed up, which was good for confidence measures, but horrible in the sense that you didn’t scream “i have a cold please don’t get infected”.

calum, however, thought you looked cute. like in a fanfic where you have your hair in a messy bun have on an old shirt that’s baggy but somehow shows off your figure sweats built the same way and you’re about to be sold to 5sos to pay off your parents debt. not that he said all that in one sentence, though.

throughout the evening, you noticed calum getting closer and closer to you, practically sitting on your lap after an hour. you didn’t mind all too much, but it was still strange to experience after all you’ve thought about. he seemed a bit, distant, though. he didn’t speak directly to you like he usually did, no hand on your thigh to push himself up, didn’t laugh at the same joke luke told whenever he popped a cap off of a bottle. something just didn’t, feel good.

after feeling a little dry and all too conscious, you decided to go into the kitchen and take a few shots; seeing as ashton and calum had migrated in there a couple of minutes ago. but, right when you get to the archway, you faintly hear the end of ashton’s sentence, “gonna do?”

calum’s voice came in after his, “i guess i’m just gonna have to tell y/n.”

that’s it. he knows. your heart rate shot up in mere seconds, and the tears made your eyes swell. you quickly turned and headed towards the bathroom, locking yourself in to cry a little bit. you couldn’t believe for a split second that you REALLY thought you were gonna have something. how could you be so gullible? the signs were all there. he was suiting you up to drop you from cloud nine. all the late night calls talking about life made him sick of you and he decided you weren’t the one for him. after that he noticed how much you liked him via the matching things, and it made him sick of you. he was sick of you. Sick. Of. You, and everything that you are to him.

you decided this wasn’t a reunion get together, this was a ‘goodbye y/n’ party. that’s why everyone was exceptionally inviting to you, because they knew you weren’t going to be around much longer, and they wouldn’t have to put up with you after this. if that’s the case, why not go out in style: drunk and pitiful.

you came out of the bathroom after several minutes of breathing in through your nose to stop the tears, and regain your composure. you head straight to the kitchen, nod to calum, ashton, and now sierra before pouring and downing a shot without saying a word. ashton laughs and cheers you on, as he’s never seen you do this before and thought it was a wave of encouragement. calum knows somethings wrong, but he doesn’t want to out you in front of people you aren’t entirely close with.

unfortunately for him, he doesn’t get any alone time with you until you’re five shots and two mike’s hard lemonades in. in other words, you were comprehensive, but your filter was gone and your emotions were bold. calum puts his hand on your shoulder once everyone is out of the kitchen, and asks whats wrong, “i know somethings off with you, y/n. you’ve never drank like this before.”

“not. a. thaaang,” you gave finger guns to him and ‘blew out’ the tips of your fingers.

he halfway smiled, but quickly furrowed his eyebrows and gave a stern look, “i’m serious.”

you shrugged, “me too. you think i, me, am joking?” you pushed his hand off your shoulder and turned to get another shot, but calum stopped you.

“y/n,” he said with his hand on yours, preventing you from lifting the shot glass, “we don’t have to talk about it, but are you sure you’re alright?”

you stopped. his hand was on yours, and that’s how it needed to be. you were staring at your hands, and everything was clear for a minute. you sobered up enough to say, “i heard you.”

he lowered his head, both confused and hard of hearing, “what?”

tears started to form again, “i heard you and ‘shton.”

calum let out a solemn breath and removed his hand from yours, certain this was taking a turn for the worst, “when?”

your breathing had hitched as you tried to stop yourself from crying, “a few minutes ago.” before calum could speak, you began your subtle rant, “i get it. i know i’ve been clingy, and weird, and overbearing and ugly and everything else. i know you don’t like me calum. i’ve fucking known that from day one, and i’m sorry i’ve known it.”

you continued with nonsense babbling until you realized how long you had been talking. calmly, and with tear stained cheeks, you told him goodbye, and that you wished you could be friends.

as you left the apartment and party, calum was left stood in the spot that he would later refuse to go near. he had tears of his own streaming down his face. he recalled his and ashton’s conversation from earlier:

ashton: dude, you’re getting reaaally cozy with y/n.

calum: yeah, i know.

ashton: is there, something... there?

calum: i don’t really, like know? i like y/n so fucking much. borderline love, i guess.

ashton: jesus man. what are you gonna do?

calum: i guess i’m just gonna have to tell y/n.

all this time, calum was the exact opposite of what you kept imagining. he built up the courage to talk to you about his feelings that night. because after all, he thought you were his soulmate: beautiful, smart, humble, different and the same in a puzzle piece manner. he was sure you were his endgame.

so, now what?

#calum hood #calum hood x you #calum hood x reader #calum hood imagine #calum hood one shot #calum hood fic #calum hood blurb #calum hood angst #sprydecreates ch

[jinterlude]

My Source of Happiness

↳ header is made by yours truly. I do not own the rights to the image used.

» Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader (Female OC)

» Genre(s): Romance & Fluff

» Warning(s)/Rating: N/A // PG

» Words: 660

» Based off the word: querencia (Spanish, n.) - a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

‣ 300+ Milestone Drabble M.List  

          “Where are you taking me, peach Jaem?”

           “You said that you didn’t want to be stuck in the dorms on this nice Summer day.”

You groan, hating the fact that he’s right. Though, what you’ve failed to mention is that you’d rather be in the pool. The same pool that’s located right outside your dorm building. But no. Your boyfriend of two years has other plans for you. Hence, the two of you currently stuck on the bus, watching city limit signs pass you by. And before you know it, no longer do you see skyscrapers and any signs of city life. Instead, you see the vast ocean.

A faint gasp escapes your lips as your eyes sparkle, matching how the body of water sparkles from the sun rays hitting it just right.

Then, you swiftly turn your head; happiness ever so visible on your face. You absolutely love the ocean. You always call it, “the one place where I’m me”. You don’t feel like you have to put on a façade whenever you’re there. You feel comfortable in your own skin.

And it shows…

Without thinking, you fling your arms around Jaemin, squishing your cheek against his. You thank him repeatedly until he has no choice but to tickle you and get you to stop.

Seeing your incredibly bright smile is worth it, and he’d do it again until there’s no other surprises left for him to give.

It’s scary how much he has grown to love you. He honestly feels that his heart will burst at any moment, but he’s doing his best to keep is composure.

He doesn’t need to be a blushing fool while he’s at the beach with you.

           “So, I’m guessing you love my surprise?” questions Jaemin, grinning slyly at you. His gaze quickly glances at you, loving how rosy your cheeks are.

You let out a sigh of content. Your face beaming. Pure joy glows in your eyes as you nod, answering your boyfriend’s question.

Honestly, no words are necessary.

You have the one person you can’t live without going to the one place you can’t forget no matter how hard you try.

A perfect match in heaven.

           “Now, I have a question for you,” You begin just as the bus comes to a halt. Both you and Jaemin stand up, making your way towards the exit. The two of you quickly thank the bus driver before stepping off. Jaemin instantly intertwines his fingers with yours.  You find it a tad cute that he always has to hold your hand whenever you’re together. That cute dork. “How did you discover my love for the ocean?” You finish, resuming your previous statement.

He hums in response as he taps his chin, playfully thinking about your question.

           “I just know.”

           “How? Tell me, peach Jaem!”

Jaemin laughs at your eagerness, causing him to teasingly ruffle your hair. You swat his hand away, narrowing your eyes at him.

           “So demanding. But if you must know, I remember you drawing a picture like this in elementary school and writing that the ocean is the one place where you can be yourself,” He peers down; a look of absolute adoration burns within his eyes, “So, why wouldn’t I take my girlfriend to her favorite place?” He playfully questions with a cute grin.

You shake your head, though, a warm smile graces your lips as you do so.

That boy…what are you going to do with him?

           “You actually paid attention to that? That was so long ago?!”

           “I always remember the things you do because it reminds me of why I fell in love with you in the first place.”

Your eyes begin to well up. Oh…my…goodness…

Without a second thought, you wrap your arms around his waist and give him the biggest and warmest hug you can muster.

           “You’re the greatest boyfriend ever. You know that, right?”

           “Well…it’s only natural since I have the greatest girlfriend ever.”

A/N: And that is my last request in my inbox! Feel free to request one if you like this or any other of the 5 that I have done! They are open until Valentine’s day! :)

On a side note, what do you guys think of Jaemin being the precious bean that he is? Like no joke, I can see him doing this because he’s so affectionate. Uh my heart.

Don’t forget to leave a like/reblog/comment/ask in my inbox! I love hearing your thoughts! :)

- Kim

#neowritingsnet #nctzennetwork #kpopwonderlandtag #kwritersworldnet #prettyboysnetwork #/mystories #nct #nct jaemin #nct fluff #nct fanfic #nct drabbles #nct x reader #nct x you #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream fanfic #nct dream fic #nct dream jaemin #nct dream drabbles #nct dream x reader #na jaemin #jaemin #jaemin drabble #jaemin fluff #jaemin fanfic #jaemin x reader #jaemin x you #my source of happiness

[porkchop-ao3]

Hot Brownie Sundae: PART 1/4

(Aesthetic header courtesy of @rixxy8173571m3w1p3, thank you dearest!!)

I got real carried away with this request, and I feel it requires a bit of an explanation. The whole thing is real long, over 14k words! But you can kind of split it down the middle as a sfw fic and a nsfw fic. So! If you’re only interested in sweet, playful sfw fics with these characters, you can read chapters one and two since they are both clean, and I have tried to end it so it feels satisfactory and can be read as a stand alone story.

BUT! If you wanna read a threesome involving the aphrodisiac trope... read on through chapters three and four too ;) 

Without further ado, here is part one! Enjoy :)

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

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“I didn't expect to see another Rick here.” I commented as we were waiting in line for the ice cream truck. “Is he…” I trailed off, glancing at Zeta-7 with a look in my eye that I hope told him what I intended to say.

An asshole; is what I was thinking. After all, not many of the Rick's I'd met other than Zeta-7 weren't assholes.

“Is he from this dimension? Yes. This is his original dimension, though he h-hops around a lot, in his truck. He sells ice cream all over the place.” Rick smiled at me, his cute teeth on show and making me smile too. Of course, he hadn't picked up on what I wanted to ask him. “This is actually the reason I brought you to this dimension in particular. I.C and I have known each other for qu-quite a while, his ice cream is the best I've tasted, I wanted to give you the chance to try it.” He added.

Well, if Zeta-7 was friends with this other Rick, I could rest assured that he probably wasn't an asshole.

“I.C?” I questioned.

“Ice Cream Rick, sometimes Rick's give each other nicknames. His is I.C, kind of like how mine is-” he stopped suddenly, looking away awkwardly. I didn't push him to continue, I knew what nickname he'd been given by other Ricks. Instead, I continued for him.

“Zeta-7. Like I sometimes call you around other Ricks.” I said. Rick smiled at me considerately, like he knew my entire thought process and was grateful for my input.

“Yes, kind of like that.” He nodded. He squeezed my hand gently in his, and for a while I'd forgotten we'd been holding hands; it felt so natural at this point I was more inclined to notice when he wasn't holding my hand. I looked down at where our fingers were entwined and made a conscious effort to take note of the sensation; I wouldn't allow something so nice to become mundane.

After a moment we reached the front of the line, the ice cream truck was apparently very popular and so we'd been waiting for a few minutes. Though, it was getting late into the afternoon and the park wasn't as busy as I assumed it would've been a little earlier, so we were the last people in line. The Rick inside turned to us and a grin spread across his face when he noticed who he was looking at.

“Wow, it's been a- long time no see, Doof. How've you been?” He scrubbed his hands on his apron and held one out to him, waiting for a handshake. My eyes immediately flew over to Zeta-7 at the use of that nickname, no matter how affectionately it was uttered, or how big the smile on I.C's face was, I could feel my defensive streak kicking in. Luckily, Zeta-7's smile didn't falter, and he happily reached out to take the other Rick's hand.

“Hey, I.C. I've been doing just- just great! Yourself?” He replied, despite my efforts to control myself, my eyes widened. I had never seen Rick so confident around another version of himself, usually he was quiet, withdrawn, often lost in his own thoughts about who knows what. But now, he was smiling so comfortably, acting like he really was chatting with an old friend. It was a surprise, to say the least. Especially when I.C held onto his hand for so long, anchoring him into extended eye contact that felt so familiar and even a little bit intimate.

“Not too bad. Who's the little lady?” He questioned, his eyes turning to me. He finally let go of Zeta-7's hand, but not without giving it a visible squeeze; I wondered why I thought that was strange. I smiled shyly, suddenly feeling kind of like a third wheel, despite being the one on the date with Zeta-7. I.C held his hand towards me too, and I glanced at it for a moment before tentatively reaching mine to meet it. Expecting a handshake, I was surprised when he went in for a kiss on the knuckles. I blushed like crazy and suppressed a giggle.

“Th-this is my… my good friend, (y/n). I thought it wo-would be nice to bring her for a taste of your ice cream.” Rick introduced me, and I chuckled at his use of the phrase ‘good friend’. Despite me telling him countless times that it was okay to call me his partner, he continually didn't due to fears he'd embarrass me in front of strangers. He had little confidence in himself, years of being the butt of the joke had convinced him that he was an embarrassment to be associated with. It was ridiculous of course.

“Good friend, huh?” I.C cocked a brow and smirked. “I didn't know Doof had a girlfriend, it's nice to meet you.” He grinned at me, and I wasn't surprised that he'd guessed the truth, Ricks were nothing if not observant.

“Oh, that’s-” Rick started, chuckling and glancing at me nervously.

“We've been together for almost a year now, though Rick seems to like keeping it a secret.” I teased, playfully nudging my companion. One glance at I.C showed me the slight falter in his smile, he looked surprised, and I realised that maybe he was joking with his guess, only teasing us.

“It's n-not that I don't w-want people to know…” Zeta-7 said, flushing pink, his expression illustrating his worry.

“I know.” I whispered, squeezing his hand just like he'd done to mine earlier. This seemed to relax him.

“Cute.” I.C commented, his smirk was back but now mischievous, with this strange predatory edge. I couldn't for the life of me work out why that was there, but it was directed at both Zeta-7 and I. I'd seen other Ricks direct that look at me before, but never Zeta-7, so it threw me. “What can I get you?” He asked, swiftly changing the subject and hiding that expression.

“Oh, I have no idea, I haven't even looked at what's available!” I exclaimed in mild embarrassment, looking up at my Rick. “Do you have any recommendations?”

“Hmm, I-I-I am partial to the caramel and honeycomb flavour, that's what I'm going to have.” He replied. I nodded, my mouth already watering at the thought.

“Two cones of that then, please.” I smiled, looking back at I.C who nodded and turned to prepare our ice creams. He tossed a wink my way as he did, injecting more colour into my cheeks.

“I brought the ingredients to make my ovenless brownies, if I make some we can cut up little pieces and pop them on top while they're still warm.” Zeta-7 suggested.

“Ohh, then it'll be all melty and delicious! Heck yes, you really are a genius.” I grinned, bouncing a little on the balls of my feet in excitement. He smiled warmly at me, then glanced around cautiously for a moment before bending down to press a kiss to my forehead when he was sure nobody was looking. He wasn't one for PDA, but it sure made me feel special whenever he did something like that.

“Oh, you're planning on tampering with my ice cream, huh? N-not good enough for you as it is?” I.C said over his shoulder, though there was no hostility in his tone, just playfulness. “I'm wounded.”

“Well maybe you two should go into business together. Ice cream and brownies are a match made in heaven.” I laughed. I.C handed each of us our ice creams as he chuckled. He wiggled his brows and looked to Zeta-7.

“Hear that, Doof? We're a m-match made in heaven.” He teased, his eyelids low. I smiled awkwardly, not knowing quite what to make of that. Rick, however, laughed cheerfully. Was I sensing..?

No. Surely not.

“Maybe that's not such a bad idea, w-we do work well together.” Zeta-7 said, not seeming to pick up any of the flirty vibes that I had. I shrugged it off. “How much do I owe you?”

“On the house for an old friend. Enjoy your date.” I.C insisted, leaning back up from the counter and crossing his arms, signalling that he wouldn't be taking any money.

“Oh, no, I should pay you. I-i-it's the least I could do for my friend.”

“How ‘bout y-y-you just give me some of the brownies you make. That sound like a fair compromise?” I.C suggested. Rick thought for a moment, then finally nodded.

“Okay then. Th-thank you very much.” He beamed.

“Thank you.” I added, nodding at I.C before Rick and I turned to find somewhere to sit.

The two of us found a nice little spot underneath a tree not far from the truck. I held onto Rick's ice cream as he laid out our blanket and pulled out the ingredients he'd brought for his brownies. I took a seat next to him and watched as he prepared them, pouring a vial of liquid into a baking tray. He added a little of this, a little of that. It was always exciting to watch how quickly it all came together.

I noticed that our ice creams were beginning to melt, and one of them was starting to dribble down the side towards my knuckle. Deciding that that one would be mine, I dove in to lick it before it could make a mess. I just so happened to glance towards the ice cream truck as I did, and immediately made eye contact with the other Rick; who was watching us from a distance. I was startled, and quickly put my tongue away, looking back at Zeta-7 in time to see the mixture of chemicals bubble up into a pan of what looked like freshly baked brownies.

“They look and smell so good…” I mumbled, inhaling deeply. Rick began to slice up little pieces for us, cubes small enough to press into our ice creams. He was quiet, a peaceful look on his face as he picked up the pieces one by one, popping them onto each ice cream. It immediately melted the ice cream and each brownie bite sunk into place. When it got too melty Rick chuckled and took his from my hand, quickly licking up the drippy areas. I did the same.

I took a tentative glance back towards the ice cream truck; Rick had his back turned and was no longer watching us.

“So how did you meet him?” I asked Rick, nodding in the truck’s direction.

“A few Ricks on the citadel who were big foodies got together to form… a- a sort of club, I s-suppose you could call it. I went along one day.” The whimsical expression on his face as he recalled the memory was adorable. “He was very kind to me.”

“What about the others?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“N-not so much.” He laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. I nodded sympathetically. “But that didn't matter, be-because in the end, I made a friend.” He shrugged, going back to licking his ice cream.

I gnawed on my bottom lip for a while, considering whether I should ask my next question. In the end, I decided I would.

“I can't help but notice he's very… he teases you a lot, and he calls you that name. Does it bother you?” I asked under my breath, even though there was no way I.C could hear from this distance. Zeta-7 looked up at me with wide, surprised eyes and paused for a moment. He looked too cute, with a little ice cream at the corner of his lip and his slightly misaligned eyes peering up at me. I giggled and reached out to swipe the ice cream from his mouth with my thumb.

His face turned beet red when I licked my thumb right after. He looked down at his ice cream.

“Um, no, it- it doesn't bother me. He doesn't do anything maliciously, like the others do… and that name, it's different when he says it. I suppose you could say, i-i-it's a term of endearment.” He chuckled. I watched him eat for a while, noting how at ease he looked, it was clear he was telling the truth.

“I'm glad. I'm relieved to hear that it's not all Rick's that treat you badly.” I told him, turning my attention back to my ice cream. I coaxed a piece of brownie into my mouth and moaned at the combination of warm and cold, the chewy, moist texture of the brownie with the creamy melty ice cream soaked into it… dear God it was incredible. “Rick… I think I've found my new favourite food.” I added, my voice practically a groan. I didn't mean to sound so obscene, it was just that delicious.

“Oh, w-well we can always come back and do this again! I was hoping you'd enjoy it. We will have to tell I.C to try it when we give him his brownies.” He smiled. “His sweet tooth could rival mine, I'm surprised he's not ten times larger than he is.” He laughed, taking a bite of brownie himself. His reaction was much more dignified than mine.

“I always wonder where you Rick's put it all.” I nodded, quirking a brow. Rick simply laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “You know, I appreciate you thinking of me and bringing me here. It makes me smile when you think about what I like and try to accommodate.”

“Is-isn't that what couples do?” He questioned. I thought for a while; yes, that is what couples should do, I thought. But of course, not everyone is as sweet as Zeta-7.

“I don't know about anyone else. But I do know I've never been with anyone so considerate. I'm not saying everyone else has been awful to me.” I chuckled, pausing for a moment. “But they didn't put as much effort into making me happy, as you do. I think I should put more effort in myself, you make me want to be a kinder person, Rick.”

“Oh, oh no you mustn't think that. Y-y-you're far from needing to put in more effort, you're always making me happy. And you're one of- of the kindest people I've met.” He told me, but I couldn't escape the feeling that he was doing so just to make me feel better. Ever the considerate gentleman. I kept my mouth shut, though, and made a mental note to research local gardens. It would be nice to take him somewhere I knew he would enjoy, and if there was one thing I'd learned about Rick, it was that he loved all things nature; especially flowers.

“Still, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to make your lover as happy as they make you.” I said quietly, noticing his cheeks darken at the use of that one particular word.

“Perhaps you don't realise, then, that that's all I have been try-trying to do. Every time I think of a new place to show you, I do it in the hopes that y-y-you can get a hint of the happiness I feel when I'm with you.” He mumbled, avoiding eye contact and turning redder by the second. That was the only evidence I could find of him struggling to say such a thing; despite his shyness and low confidence levels, he was a natural romantic. Though, I was convinced he didn't know it.

“Oh, stop it.” I said playfully, watching his eyes flash up to mine in concern. I gave him a smile to show him I was only joking. “If you're not careful, I might have to kiss you. Right here, right now.” I added, my tone dropping lower, a little flirtatiousness never hurt.

Rick laughed bashfully, fidgeting under my gaze. I reached across to where his hand was resting on the blanket, and I linked our fingers together wordlessly.

We sat there for the remainder of the time it took us to eat our ice cream slash brownie concoctions, and in that time the park had further cleared. The sun was beginning to come down in the sky, turning it a vibrant orange. It was my favourite time of the day, but Rick and I both knew we couldn't stay much longer; the gates to the park would be closing soon.

“Oh, I-I-I must give I.C the rest of these brownies as a thank you. Before I do, w-would you like some more?” Rick asked as he noticed that I.C was cleaning up the truck, getting ready to close for the day.

As tempting as it was to say yes, I shook my head. “No thank you, a moment on the lips, they say.” I laughed, and Rick simply shook his head. I knew he'd take the opportunity to tell me I shouldn't worry about that sort of thing, so I didn't let him. “Tell him thank you from me, he's a very talented man when it comes to the art of ice cream making.”

“Why don't you come with me and t-tell him y-yourself?” He suggested with a smile. My instinct was to say no; why? I wasn't sure. The concept of walking back over to him was making my heart rate skyrocket for unknown reasons. Perhaps it was because he was one of the few Ricks other than Zeta-7 I'd met that I could stand to be around for more than five minutes… and that was for some reason, quite concerning. Perhaps it was because he'd succeeded in making me blush a number of times in the short time I'd been around him. Perhaps it was because I'd always found men with ponytails very handsome.

I didn't want Zeta-7 seeing me blush and giggle like a schoolgirl, lest he get the wrong idea and start feeling insecure. It was already difficult to keep him from overthinking things and assuming he wasn't enough. But if I said no to saying goodbye to one of the few Ricks he was friends with, wouldn't that look bad too?

“Okay. Let's, uh, I'll roll up the blanket and catch up with you.” I suggested, and without missing a beat he offered to help me. I assured him I'd manage putting away our picnic blanket just fine, and he of course apologised for insinuating that I was incapable… I told him that he apologised too much.

“I'm sorry.” He said quietly, and with a playful roll of my eyes I sent him over to I.C. I watched as he crossed the park to meet up with his friend, they were all smiles as he handed over the tray of brownies and I couldn't help but smile too. It was so nice to see him getting along with another Rick, most were so unkind to him.

Pulling my attention from them, I picked up our blanket and shook it free of all stray grass clippings. I folded it and rolled it up before putting it in our picnic bag; I was taking an unnecessary amount of time to do so, putting off going over to them. But there was only so many times I could fold and re-fold the blanket before I had to take the slow stroll back over to where Zeta-7 was still chatting away to I.C.

“Oh, (y/n), y-y-you need to hear what I.C just told me!” Rick exclaimed once he noticed me approaching, waving me over with an excited little flail of his arms. I chuckled at his enthusiasm and turned my smile to I.C when I reached them. He grinned at me, leaning his elbow on the counter, he looked well put together in his pastel pink button up shirt, little bow tie, and his longer-than-most-Ricks hair brushed back into a ponytail. I wondered momentarily if he had a partner, if he had a relationship like Zeta-7 and I's.

“I was jus-just saying, back home I've got a lab where I make all my different ice cream flavours. I-I'm always working on something new, keeping things fresh, you know?” I.C explained, letting his eyes wander up and down my form before meeting my gaze again. It wasn't as much of a leer as I'd experienced with other Rick's, but it was certainly more than casual. Heat rose to my cheeks again.

Damn it.

“An ice cream lab? Ooh, that sounds exciting. Do you have like, loads of different tasty ingredients all lined up on a shelf, and you just experiment?”

“Oh, I've done a lot of experimenting in my time.” He chuckled, glancing briefly over at Zeta-7. “Uhh, I guess it's s-something like that. But I was actually just asking Doof here if you guys wanted to come and take a look.” I didn't miss now he reached over and touched Zeta-7's shoulder, his thumb tracing back and forth over his lab coat.

“Oh? What, now?” My eyes widened and I glanced between the two Ricks. They both nodded.

“That is unless you have something else planned for your date. I-I don't want to intrude, I just thought- I thought it might be interesting for you guys.” I.C added, stroking his hand slowly down Zeta-7's arm before withdrawing completely, and tapping his fingertips casually on the countertop. I looked at Zeta-7, who looked at me. His expression was nothing but casual despite being touched in such a way, instead it seemed as though we were merely both consulting each other on whether we should take him up on his offer. I shrugged my shoulders before speaking.

“I don't think we have plans, do we? This was more just a relaxed date, a fun trip out. You didn't plan anything, did you?” I asked Zeta-7 who pursed his lips for a moment in consideration.

“I-I-I did think we could have dinner somewhere, but seeing as it's still a lit-little too early to eat, and I don't know about you but I'm still rather full from the ice cream, I suppose we have time to check it out. That- that's if you would like that.” And so he left it in my hands. I couldn't very well say no, could I? I had no reason to. Only that weird feeling in my tummy that I got whenever I was around this Rick, and whenever I saw him interact with Zeta-7. He was slightly too charming and too nice for my comfort, considering my experiences with other Ricks.

It wasn't that I didn't trust him; the problem was that I did. Zeta-7 liked this other Rick a lot, and I was coming to feel the same. It made me feel uneasy because I had a habit of making Rick nervous about the security of our relationship, by over-expressing my admiration of other people. I wore my emotions and heart plain and exposed for everyone to see, when I liked someone, everybody knew it. And with Rick's self confidence at a constant low, that wasn't always a good thing.

“Uhh, sure! Why not?” I finally said after staying silent for a slightly longer than comfortable length of time. I just had to keep myself in check, make sure that I didn't give Zeta-7 a reason to doubt himself. What could possibly go wrong?

Tbc...

#rick and morty #rick sanchez x reader #doofus rick #ice cream rick #oc rick #fanfiction #sfw

[angelinuhh]

Hi there A! Could we get a public review from you? Thank you so much and we hope that you have a breathtaking upcoming week! ~ Admin Catie

DISCLAIMER: this review is onlyreflective of my own opinions and is intended to provide constructivecriticism. there is no obligation to listen to or agree with anything said.

OVERALL:

the reality tv junkie in me loves this concept of this rp. and, asI look around, this typifies exactly what I love about the genre: characterdevelopment, fast-paced events and, of course, a healthy dose of competition. Ilove your color scheme and your theme. for a contained theme, I found it incrediblyeasy to navigate—which was a real and true blessing. however, I do think that there are still many things to improve, Ithink a little more consistency and editing in your descriptions and overallaesthetic could really elevate your rp and make it more accessible andattractive to prospective members. I also would like to see a change in yourrules, both in policy and in tone. overall, I wish you guys the best of luck.

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PLOT:

I really do love the rp idea, but I do think the plot page leavesa little something to be desired. For appless rps, especially ones withoutblurbs on the sidebar, you really do need something that is concise, both eye-catching and attention-grabbing, all the while getting to the point. while the content you have on this page isn’tbad, you have a long-ish block of text that can read a little dry at time.

I’ve taken the liberty of editing your plot to take on a more activetone to show you what I mean. while you have no obligation to use it, you dohave full permission to:

 There is no greater motivation in theworld than money – and nowhere is that more present than in ParadiseIsland, MTV’s new reality television show. Sent to a private island inpairs and forced to compete challenges and tasks set by the producers, contestantsoften find themselves doing things they wouldn’t normally do, all for a chance at$750,000.

Here at Paradise Island, the fun never stops. With 24/7 Streaming, viewers are given a real-time seat to the  drama,the romance and more! While binge-worthyshows are great, the 12 million daily viewers know the truth: they never have to find something new towatch again.

After a rigorous application process, including video essays about why theywould like to be on the show, interviews and even a test challenge was preparedto see which finalists caused the most drama or had the most chemistry, thehundreds of potential applicants were narrowed down to just 40. The producersrandomly assigned each contestant into pairs and, for the duration of the show,these partners were to share a room in the mansion and work together to win thegrand prize. 

But what happens next—will loveblossom? Will greed step in? Witha 1/20 chance of winning the $750,000, most of the contestants will do anything to get their hands onthat money, but there can only be one pair of winners.

Who will be victorious in the first Paradise Island?

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paradiseislandhq is anappless  23+ pairedmuse roleplay based on reality television. Contestants have been sent to aprivate island and must work in pairs for the chance to win a grand jackpot of $750,000w/ additional prizes. We focus on weekly character development tasks &challenges, plotting between members, in-character drama, and. of course- vacation vibes! Applicants are free toapply for a wanted connection partnership or to have one picked at random foryou!

 If you would like to take a crack at it, here’s what I tried to fix.

Have a more ACTIVE TONE

 thisis a purely stylistic choice, but i would suggest varying up sentence structureand utilizing your bold and italic keys a little more as most people in thegenre do.

Try to avoid going on tangents

Inthe beginning, you start with the motivator of money above all and thenimmediately move to love and status, thus weakening the power of your opening

Ialso did not particularly think the tangent about streaming services in thethird paragraph was necessary. Your goal is to emphasize that the show is 24/7—you don’t necessarily have to explain that.

Is it… $750,000 or $750,000+, because both were used. That needsto be clear.

The first thing I always look for is the synopsis at the bottom,but yours is a little bit long. 

Iwould center it as well. You can do this by entering into the html and putting , I think.

Side note: make sure your navigation tab’s blurb matches the one on this page.

I also spotted a couple of grammar errors. Your biggest and mostfrequently repeated error is run-on sentences and a lack of commas.

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RULES

bh, your rules page was a hugeturnoff for me. I don’t think it was your intention, but it was very blunt, alittle wordy (ik ik… im legit the most wordy person on earth) and read kind of…rude. A a potential applicant and as a reviewer, I just- I wasn’t feeling itand would likely be very wary of applying because of it.  There are also quite a few run-on sentenceshere, so watch out for that.

I’m not going to rewrite the whole thing, but here are a few specificchanges I would make and alternate wordings to your statements.

 Edits

(++) I would put in a HOW WE RP section and add in the stuffabout the tasks, points and challenges. Because that should not go underinclusivity. I also do not understand how it works and I need much moreexplanation. I can guess, of course, but I shouldn’t have to. You need toclearly outline how this rp will be run and how tasks will be delegated and pointswill be awarded. Vaguely stating that there will be challenges and points andwhatever will not work.

(++) Your muses section is very confusing. Especially the agebut also the diversity part. I understand that you feel strongly about this,but I brought it up to some friends and many of them were just as confused as Iwas. I read your FAQ and things did not get any clearer. If I were you, I wouldsimply say “all muses and fcs must be older than 25. Please aim to make yourcharacter’s age believable with your faceclaim.”. And that, “to encouragediversity, if you have more than one character, at least one must be POC.” Asyou have it, it is very murky and kind of defensive?? almost. Like I reallywant people to be over 25, but I guess they can play 23, but also they canactually be 40 but they can play in their 20s. It’s convoluted and I get alittle frustrated trying to read it. In my opinion, you just have to pick asingle age and go with it.

I feel like your unfollow rule is extremely lenient for one ofthese rps. It may lead most of your members being inactive before they getunfollowed.

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Alt wordings (some suggestions)

Although it is expected that in-character partnerships will needcharacter development, please make an effort to interact with all member.Bubble RPing is NOT permitted and we aim to make an inclusive environment whereall muns can explore their characters.

Youroriginal statement really put the onus on the RPer like they’re already doingsomething wrong.

We are happy to oblige with hiatus or semi-hiatus requests. Lifecomes up and we want all of our players to be comfortable. However, we onlyaccept these requests through asks that come through our inbox.

Reallythe CAPS and the Do not inform by im… don’t really feel like you want me tocomfortable.

We allow small/medium gifs. Please do not use large gifs. In orderto be accessible we do not allow gif icons under 90x90. >>>>In order to be accessible, large gifs and gif icons under 90px are not allowed.We prefer small/medium gifs.

Feel free to cause in character drama. However, no OOC drama willbe tolerated !! >>> While in-character drama can be fun, OOCdrama will not be tolerated.

idk why but those exclamation points were felt in my soul, man. Sdfjdkf. Look, it’s just a little intimidating.

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ACCESSIBILITY :

I knowthis sounds like a small thing, but I really am impressed.Container themes are notoriously hard to navigate but I had little to notrouble going through yours. If your rp grows, that muse tab is going to behell to update so I admire your commitment.

My onlycritiques are that

 youneed to finish updating your nav so there are no broken/nonexistent links—whichI’m sure you will do

on your/map page, you have ‘wanted connections’ spliced so both wanted and connectionare links.

I’dmuch rather see a page with all the tags to track than just having them floataround on the navigation. But this is totally up to you to change.

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AESTHETIC/GRAPHICS:.

Lovethem. Whoever did them, mostly, did a good job in maintaining the color scheme.My only critique is that I’m not really feeling the headers for, like, the plotpage and the wanted connections…etc. These harsh black borders and script fontsstand out a lot and, while the images are nice, they have a completelydifferent color scheme (dark blue-ish tones to the warm and tropical orange ofthe rest of the theme). I wish they would! Because otherwise, I really do likewhat you have here.  

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MORE.

I would edit or remove the first question onyour FAQ.If anyone asks the question, you can say to promote age diversity andthat’s reason enough. As it stands, the question and the answer just makes me confusedand, some of the statements like “actors over 25 have more resources” is justuntrue.

thebiggest flaw that I see in your RP is inconsistency and occasional lack ofclarity. here is a list of things I’ve found that varied from page to page.

1.      Sometimesthe jackpot is 750,000. Sometimes it is not.

2.      Theblurb on your navigation does not match the blurb on your plot page

3.      Yourefer to this rp both as appless and semiappless.

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TLDR; what i would like to see changed, vaguelyin order of most of least importance. Feel free to ignore any or all of these.

REDO your rules page to include a HOW WE RP detailing thepoints, tasks and challenges

 CHOOSEa clear and consistent ruling on your age bending/limits. It might make senseto you and promoting age diversity is very admirable, but, look, we’re alldumb.

EDITyour rules page to be… more affable. It’s not bad as it, but it just helpspeople get through it.

i wrote a few alternate phrasings you can look at

EDITyour plot to be more engaging and concise to really grab people’s attention.

i wrote something above that you may use

DOUBLE CHECK all your pages to make sure that you don’tcontradict yourself in various places.

 as a last note and reminder, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE ANY OF MYSUGGESTIONS. There is no ill-will from me to you. As always, this is notintended to be hate and I genuinely want the best for you guys. However, I amterminally cursed to be nitpicky. I’ve done my very best to make sure my adviceis constructive, but please call me out if you find any of this offensive orcrude.

I genuinely like the idea of the RP and appreciate the work you’veput in. Seeing Dev Patel used--- makes my day. Thank you for your time andpatience.

If you have any more concerns or questions, please feel free tocontact me.

#rpt #rp review #rpo #rpc #paradiseislandhq

[rustandruin]

Can you help me out please? I'm looking for resourceful Robron blogs to follow (spoilers, fanfiction, recommendations.) Thank you in advance.

Heya Anon, 

Sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this! I just wanted to try and be as thorough as possible. I’ve tried to divide this along as best as possible. Hopefully, you’ll still find this helpful! (Also, if people want to add on, please do so! ESPECIALLY if I forgot you!) 

Ideally, all of this will show up below the cut so everyone won’t have to deal with a mammoth post. I apologise in advance. 

SPOILERS

In general, if you follow enough people within the general fandom, you’ll see when spoilers get dropped because if they’re particularly juicy everyone will be abuzz. 

Though schedule-wise, here’s when you can expect spoilers to drop (shout out to @nooneelsecomesclose17 for help with this):

“Press spoilers for the TV guides and such is usually Thursdays (the odd week it’s Wednesday). Preview videos go up usually on Fridays, preview pics on a Monday. The Irish magazines is usually posted Monday mornings, and the rest around midnight Monday/Tuesday. Metro and Digital Spy articles about the spoilers are usually 7AM Tuesday.”

Blog-wise, here’s a nice bunch to follow: 

@dannymiller-irish-fan is wonderful about providing everyone with magazine scans of spoilers and interviews and stuff. 

@emmaamags does the same and is pretty thorough with their spoiler gleaning and sharing as well. 

@ryanhawleysthighs does a great job of tracking spoilers too! And they track it well in advance date-wise which can be helpful. 

FANFICTION

If you’re looking for a fic recs, @robronfic and @robronficlibrary are helpful to follow since they tend to include helpful tags like genre and word count, etc. (They also take asks about fics and stuff so in case you’re looking for something specific!) 

If you’re looking for people who take prompts, I kind of answered an ask about this a while back, everyone on that list writes and takes prompts if you have ‘em. 

But in general, here’s a handy-dandy group of writers to check out: 

@nooneelsecomesclose17 , @persiflager , @escapingreality51 , @littlelooneyluna , @thesnowyswan , @capseycartwright , @aarobron , @vckaarrob , @robertjacobsugdens , @notforonesecond , @7amlecturerambles , @robertmakesafoolofhimself , @prettyboysugden  , @smittenwithsugden , @blondhairedking , @amandaj718 , @andyouknowitis and I guess, because I’m feeling a little shameless, myself. 

If you dig poetry, I know @surviveyourhumanity has been charming us with some great stuff. 

You might also want to keep an eye out for @emmerdalebigbang which is basically this really cool event where a bunch of fic writers have signed up to produce a fic that is more than 15K, as well as to be matched up with an artist who’ll be producing work based on whatever they’ve written. 

ART/GIFS

@scrapyardboyfriends does some lovely scenes and I think takes requests!

@messedup21 has been producing some lovely edits and totally takes requests. (They made my mobile header!) 

@illgetmerope has been putting together some amazing stuff lately too. 

@wycombewanderer makes these crazy amazing moodboards that you can get lost in for hours.

@blondhairedking does that too. It’s just mindbogglingly gorgeous. 

GIF-wise, check out:

@whatdiknow , @dinglehorton, @lizzzzoo , @evak-malec , @aarondingel , @isabellaofparma , @robrongifrequests ,

GENERAL SHENANIGANS 

For metas, posts, and general ruminations on Robron/Roblivion’s relationship, romance and general history almost everyone on this post is pretty golden, but here are a few more: 

@letthebluerain , @lesfemmesdangereuses , @dorsetti , @bartsugsy , @mrdinglesugden , @peterbeale , @vicbartons, @robertisbisexual , @omarandjohnny

SCENES

Here’s a bunch of YouTube channels to check out if you want to rewatch or catch up on the Robron/Roblivion and Matty Barton storylines. 

MISCELLANEOUS 

@smittenwithsugden is great for scene transcripts that involve either member of Robron (and I think Liv as well). 

@robron-fandom-compliments is a great resource/tool to send some love to blogs you follow or admire! Especially if you’re too shy to do so yourself. They also recently organised a week where they secretly paired up a bunch of bloggers and had them compliment each other. 

@emmerdaleoutfits is my new favourite thing because I’ve recently become obsessed with menswear, but they’ve been tracking down a bunch of different looks and I’m sure they’ll suit your needs if you have a request. 

@notcorrectemmerdalequotes is a fun blog that sometimes mixes and matches quotes from other shows with characters from Emmerdale, all of which are on the money. 

Hope you find this helpful, Anon. Feel free to say hi or hit me up with any other questions! Have a good rest of your day! 

#rust and ruin answers #rust and ruin has thoughts #rust and ruin ask box #robron #emmerdale

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 4255 Chapter: 26/42 Summary: Not all wars are fought on the battlefield. Some are fought at the conference table, with whispers in the shadows, or even in the bedroom.

In a world where the Senju and Uchiha traditional lands were too far apart to have ever made them enemies, Butsuma and Tajima are the ones who come together and sign a treaty of peace. Madara isn’t happy to have his life signed away for him in a political marriage to strengthen the bond between their clans. He is even less happy to have Tobirama make assumptions of him from their very first night together. What follows from there is a journey of healing, of learning, and finding the places to belong in the places least expected.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Chapter 26

Sitting in a room with Butsuma and Tajima at the same time had always been a little stifling even before this stupid little feud between them really started. After the events at Susumu’s birthday party and the rumors that flew from one end of town to the other before the day was over, sitting in a room with both men now felt downright suffocating even with dozens of other bodies between them.

Even worse, every body filling in the spaces around the council table now understood the tension between the two men who had brought them all together and the group as a whole seemed to have separated in to two different camps. The first camp seemed to find this whole mess shameful and only the chain of command stopped any of them from scolding either Butsuma or Tajima. The second camp found the situation nothing less than amusing in a petty sort of way and seemed eager to egg the two of them on, much to Tobirama’s dismay.

Neither of them needed help being dramatic, he could say that with absolute surety.

He would have liked to say it made the council meetings even more awkward but with so many different personalities and opinions to navigate with each new issue they discussed it was always a circus in that room anyway. Adding the drama of their two founders facing off against each other while trying to maintain a thin veneer of affability wasn’t really all that odd. Not fun, certainly, but not as terrible as it could have been. At least they were pretending to be nice.

Until now all of Tajima’s plans had been flavored with sneaky undertones, back alley deals and spy recruitment, scheming maneuvers he had attempted to undermine his perceived opponent with. Tobirama watched the man stand up and clear his throat and he wondered if Tajima was switching gears entirely or just trying something new to throw them all off.

“Thank you all for being so prompt this afternoon,” he called, silencing the last few voices still quietly murmuring in idle conversation. “We have a lot of things to go over today. There are several updates from my son Izuna about the situation with the Inferno Squad, who are now calling themselves the ANBU apparently, that will be covered in the briefing. Nara-san had concerns about the hospital resources to address. And many other things as well but first there is something I would like to put before the council for review.”

“Please,” Madara rumbled under his breath in the seat beside Tobirama, as had become their usual. “Thrill us.” The two of them shared a smirk until Tajima pulled a form out of the dossier he’d brought along with him.

“I have here a form that I believe the council will find very interesting - and concerning. You will all recall the recent alliance forged with the Land of Iron and the many benefits therein, one of which being the contract signed allowing us to purchase their weapons at prices well below the current market. It was a shock to me then, when I read over the first order form about to be sent and the receipt detailing our enclosed payment." Tajima's gaze slid triumphantly down the table. "My esteemed colleague has made an error, I believe. Did we not agree on five hundred yen per unit?" From the expectant pause it was clear he was waiting for an answer.

Through gritted teeth Butsuma admitted, "Yes, that was the agreement."

"Ah, then you will understand my confusion upon seeing you have written that we are to pay five thousand yen per unit. For such disposable weapons, their quality made to match their purpose, can we be expected to pay such a high price without emptying our coffers overnight?"

Tajima sat back with a haughty look of victory all but dripping from his features, eyes locked challengingly down the table with Butsuma's as though daring the man to climb out of the hole that had just been dug for him. Around the table other members of the council were murmuring to each other with a mixture of shock that such a mistake had nearly occurred and relief that it had subsequently been caught. With each new voice that chimed in to exclaim their surprise Butsuma's spine stiffened more and more in his seat.

Unable to make himself feel surprise, Tobirama checked to be sure no one was looking in his direction before giving in to the urge to roll his eyes, leaning sideways against Madara to express his exasperation without words. He knew the message was received loud and clear when his husband reached across under the table to squeeze his hand and weave their fingers together in support. It was starting to feel like not a single meeting of the high council could be completed without some sort of drama or clash rising between their fathers and it had started getting old a long time before now.

"I hardly think one error in paperwork constitutes a state of emergency," Butsuma growled, "I will rewrite the receipt. Let us move on." He clearly did not enjoy the condescending smile his rival sent him for his words.

"Rest assured that I have already fixed this error before it could cause us harm. The order is well on its way to the Land of Iron with a properly written receipt."

"Then I do not see the point in mentioning it."

Of course he knew why it had been mentioned, Tobirama was sure of that, just as everyone present was probably sure why it was mentioned. Tajima was only too happy to smile at him like a viper smiles at its next meal. "There can never be too many cautionary tales for how such a simple mistake may cause so much damage. To our reputation, to our coffers, to any future contracts made with the Land of Iron."

Halfway between them, Tobirama wondered whether anyone would notice if he simply disappeared from his seat.

"It is good that you caught this before it could come back to bite us," the Yamanaka heir spoke up. Against all physical odds Tajima somehow managed to puff himself up even more.

"Yes, I rather thought so."

"Truly you and Butsuma-sama make an excellent team."

"What?" Startled to have someone else included in his compliments, Tajima's voice came out as a flat demand. Miraculously Yamanaka-san didn't seem to notice.

Smiling in what he clearly believed to be an encouraging manner, the younger lad sat forward with an earnest expression. "With both of you here working together our village will accomplish every goal we set for ourselves, I'm certain. We are incredibly lucky to have the two of you working side by side; you complement each other so well."

Half the room was forced to hide their smiles behind hands and sleeves or a well-placed fan as Tajima's expression soured comically and, across the room, Butsuma mirrored him almost exactly. In his own seat Tobirama tightened his grip on Madara's hand until he was sure both their knuckles must have turned white from the pressure. Petty laughter bubbled up in his throat but he clamped his teeth and refused to let it out. How the Yamanaka heir managed not to notice the obvious tension between their two founders was beyond him but for once he decided he could celebrate a little stupidity if it gifted him with such a golden moment as seeing Tajima gnash his teeth like he was doing now.

Whether his plan had been to pull Butsuma down, raise himself up, or both, this certainly wasn't the result he had been hoping for. Instead of distancing himself from his rival, not only had he been compared and found equal but had been deemed only part of an essential whole. Never had the rage of another human being been so satisfying to witness.

"The floor is open for other discussions," Tajima declared icily. He seat in his seat with rigid purpose and set his gaze stubbornly on the notes he had brought with him. If Tobirama had to guess he would have said every one of those documents was to be further proof of Butsuma's incompetence, abandoned and unnecessary now that the man was too angry to speak without shaming himself with another screaming match.

Around the room each of those who had hidden their smiles before were forced to do so again as Butsuma stood for a moment with indignation still clinging to his face and invited the Nara clan head to lead their discussion about hospital funding. Both he and Tajima refused to look at each other for the rest of the meeting even when they were required to interact, preferring to make their address to the empty air beside each other's heads. It was both hilarious and embarrassing to watch them act like such children but those who took note of their behavior were not surprised in the least.

No matter how entertaining the idiotic shenanigans between them were becoming, however,  they were all there for a specific purpose and it wasn't long before a serious mood had once again fallen over the meeting while they discussed which new trade agreements or fundraising opportunities they could pursue to budget in a research division for their growing hospital. Even Tajima eventually gathered himself enough to take part, though he did refuse to comment on any topic Butsuma happened to be leading.

For his own part Tobirama found it quite hard to keep his concentration on the issues at hand when all he wanted to think about was the warmth in his palm where Madara had yet to separate their hands. Hidden out of sight beneath the table where he wouldn't have to worry about flaunting their relationship so unprofessionally during a serious meeting, he could even feel a strong thumb drawing circles on the back of his hand. Was it absent? Purposeful? He couldn't tell but the mystery of it occupied him so thoroughly he nearly missed having his opinion asked on something - and he couldn't even find it in himself to be ashamed of his inattention. Not when the distraction was Madara.

The meeting lasted only a short while longer than usual but it was enough that Tobirama found himself viscerally disappointed, left with less time before the end of the day and forced to stay late to finish several things instead of going home with his husband as he had planned. After spending several hours trading soft touches and gentle squeezes it was an unwanted reality check to watch Madara head off at Hashirama's side after work while he stayed behind at his desk with several urgent scrolls awaiting his attention. Having spent at least twenty minutes of that everlasting meeting planning out a nice dinner they could have together he was understandably irritated even before he pulled the first scroll towards himself, unrolling it with a bitter scowl, and told himself that he wasn't jealous of his own brother. Not at all. Just because they were best friends and Madara had seemed delighted to be invited over for hot pot didn't mean there was anything to be jealous over.

Other than the fact that he was stuck here at work while others were treated to Madara's company in a relaxed environment where he might have been bold enough to weave their hands together again.

It felt like it took twice as long as it should have for him to get everything done for the day and make his escape. Every time he thought he was ready to go someone else stopped by and dropped a new problem in his lap or sent a bit of paperwork back with new suggestions that needed addressing. The longer he stayed the more Tobirama despaired of his own brain and how much advantage their leaders took of it. Out of all the people who worked in the tower he was probably the one with a hand in the most projects at a time even if he wasn’t the lead on all of them.

Eventually he was able to declare himself ready to leave before anyone else showed up with more work, although he ruefully noted that there weren’t many chakra signatures left in the building to do so, most people other than the security team having packed it in an hour or more before. He slipped away just as one of his office mates came back but refused to look them in the eye in case they tried to speak with him about something that might hold him back even longer. Seeing Madara again and sneaking in as many kisses before bedtime as he could was much more interesting than any sanitation dispute or road planning project could ever be. If he had to drag the man away from Hashirama's house then he would.

At least that was his intention until he stepped through the door to the scent of hot pot thick in the air and his stomach set up a raucous protest of any plan that did not involve finding the source of that delicious smell. Following his other senses led him in to the kitchen where his husband, brother, and his brother’s wife all sat around the dining table with half empty bowls. Madara's expression was only mildly curious upon seeing him but the sensation of warm chakra bubbling and happily reaching out for him was nearly enough to stop him in his tracks so he could melt in to a disgustingly happy puddle. He wondered if the man even realized he could feel such reactions and if he should mention it or just keep this pleasant little nugget to himself. It wouldn’t do to embarrass Madara in to containing himself in the future.

“There is still food on the stove if you are hungry.” Mito invited him to serve himself with a graceful wave of one hand. With a grateful nod Tobirama headed to the cupboards for a bowl, brushing his hand subtly against Madara’s sleeve on the way by. It wasn’t the kiss he had wanted but that could wait until he wasn’t distracted by the ravenous hunger in his belly.

“Long day?” Hashirama asked as he portioned out a large helping. “I’m surprised you’re only leaving the office now.”

“Every time I tried to escape someone else had a new emergency for me to solve.”

“The price of being indispensable,” his brother teased gently.

If there was one thing that Tobirama appreciated about his brother it was that Hashirama understood his own intellect and had never experienced any jealousy for having a brother that could think circles around him from a very young age. He seemed quite glad for it, actually, and many times expressed his embarrassed gratitude that so many things were piled on Tobirama’s shoulders rather than his own, more than aware that there were certain things he simply wasn’t equipped to handle. Being ungrateful for what talents he did get blessed with was simply not in his nature and there was a pure sort of honesty in that which couldn’t be found in many others.

Carrying his bowl to the spot next to his husband, Tobirama sank down and took up his chopsticks immediately with a mumble of itadakimasu under his breath before digging in. Madara shook his head with what he chose to interpret as fond exasperation.

“Don’t let me interrupt whatever you were talking about before I arrived.” Tobirama flicked his chopsticks dismissively but Hashirama only shook his head as well.

“Nothing important. We were just regaling Mito with everything that happened in the meeting.”

Tobirama hummed, chewing through another bite. “I didn’t hear much from either of you today. Honestly Anija, you need to assert yourself more. Sometimes I could almost forget you were there.”

“I get bored!”

“You’ll need to do this yourself when you inherit the clan; you can’t always just let your brain fall asleep in meetings. Honestly.”

“But…” Hashirama wrinkled his nose with a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Tobirama peeked sideways at his husband. “I didn’t hear much out of you today either, which is much more odd than it is for him. Is everything alright?” He was relieved to see Madara give him a casual shrug and a reassuring pat on the knee.  

“Everything’s fine, I just had something else on my mind is all, an idea of sorts, but it’s not fleshed out enough to put it before the council.”

“I don’t supposed you’d like to share with the class?” Tobirama asked.

“Give me a little bit to think it through some more. There’s something just on the tip of my tongue, per se. I know it’s there but I can’t quite figure out…bah, you’ll understand when I tell you about it.” Madara harrumphed a little and looked around the table. “Change the subject. I’m done with thinking for the day.”

From her seat across the table Mito lifted one carefully shaped brow at him. “I wasn’t aware you had ever begun.”

Hashirama flustered his way through trying to scold his wife without insulting her while at the same time diffusing his best friend without making it sound like he was taking sides. Watching the three of them and their dramatics was much more entertainment for Tobirama than thinking about all the meetings. As necessary and admittedly fascinating as he found politics and bureaucracy he’d learned years ago that it was just as important to let his brain turn off sometimes and refresh itself. Oftentimes doing so allowed him to come back to his work the next day with fresh ideas he wouldn’t have been able to come up with in the overworked, frazzled state he saw too much of around the tower these days.

Dinner was pleasant, a nice couple of hours spent catching up with the brother and sister-in-law he should really spend more time with. The evening grew dark outside as they all sat sipping tea around the table. Mito engaged him with descriptions of the seal books she was hoping to have delivered for his birthday while Hashirama and Madara chattered on about some sort of nonsense he tried not to listen to. The two of them had a tendency to get involved in the most random and nonsensical shenanigans when left alone together for too long and Tobirama had decided that not knowing was safer. As long as no one got hurt and he didn’t have to help clean up it was best to just let them have their fun, enjoying their own sort of distraction from work in the form of brief stupidities.

When they finally left it was with full bellies and eyes drooping, ready for sleep after a pleasant evening spent letting the world pass them by. It was nice to return home and wander upstairs together to go through their nightly routines. They had already slipped under the sheets and wrapped around each other when Tobirama blinked as the ceiling with a light frown.

“I forgot to ask you again what you were thinking so hard about during the meeting. Do you still need time to get your thoughts straight?”

“Hm? Oh, that. Actually I suppose you would probably be a good person to help me with it since it’s something you’ve done on a smaller scale for a while now. I was thinking- you know how you train Kagami?” Madara shifted against him but Tobirama was busy frowning up at the shadows above them.

Curious but not seeing where this was going yet he said, “Yes, I am aware of my own student.”

“He only learns from you. Only your perspective, only your jutsu, only when you have the time available after leaving the office.” Twitching, he hurried to add, “Not that I’m saying you don’t give him enough! It’s just…a little scattered to be the norm, don’t you think?”

Frowning a little deeper, Tobirama was forced to nod slowly. “I suppose so. There are many days I wish I had more time to give him. Sometimes I give up my lunch hour as well but that’s not something I can do all the time.”

“Right. And it’s something that’s probably prevalent in all of the clans unless they have someone specifically dedicated to training the younglings.”

“Which would only present the same problems you mentioned before.”

“Yes!” Madara squirmed against him as though so excited by the idea about to burst forth he could not contain himself, a sentiment Tobirama could certainly relate to. “So I was thinking that perhaps the children of Konohagakure could use a more formalized education and it’s been plaguing me for days the best way to do that. Obviously pulling all the seasoned shinobi away from their jobs all the time wouldn’t be a great idea – imagine the chaos of undone paperwork – but then I thought, well, what about an academy?”

Despite the many talks he’d had with himself about this very subject Tobirama could no more stop the rush of heat through his veins than he could have stopped the tides.

“A formalized academy just for training the next generation here in a safe environment,” he whispered slowly.

“Well, that was the idea anyway. I’m not sure if it’s a realistic project or just a pipe dream; I don’t even know where to begin on setting it up. They would need a curriculum of some sort and indicators of passing certain skill levels – tests? And who would teach them? You would know a lot more about all of that than I woul- ah!”

Madara cried out with surprise as Tobirama rolled them both over without warning and bent to ravage his husband’s mouth, unable to hold himself back any longer. One arm took his weight so he could lift the other to cup that glorious, startled face and tilt them together, taking and taking in a way he was always so careful not to do when they kissed. All thoughts of the boundaries he had set for himself fled like smoke in the wind.

Incredibly, he was not pushed away. Rather than toss him across the room for taking such liberties Madara groaned and melted under the onslaught, responding with what fervor he knew, and Tobirama had to suppress the urge to snarl his approval because it would have meant pulling himself out of the moment. With his free hand dancing over the body underneath he almost managed to forget himself until he realized his muscles were tensing with the intention of rolling his hips and pressing just a little too far past those boundaries he had already thrown away.

Both of them were panting a little when the kiss finally ended but Tobirama couldn’t bring himself to pull away more than the inch or so he needed to drop his forehead against Madara's with a dazed look in his eye.

“I have never been more attracted to you,” he blurted, still wrapped up in the surprise that Madara's big idea was to provide a better future for the children of their village. Never had it been so hard to hold back the words he knew his partner wasn’t ready to hear.

“Oh. Um.” Blinking up at him, Madara seemed to flip through a few different expressions before he settled on hesitant interest. “I wouldn’t mind you, uh, expressing that a little more.”

“You-?” Tobirama blinked. That wasn’t at all what he’d been expecting.

Although to be fair he’d had no idea what to expect since he’d been so careful after the night he came home too drunk to restrain the passions that wanted so badly to come out, not when he knew it would be all too easy to place a hand in the wrong spot, to pull at clothing in the wrong way, small gestures that would feel so natural in the moment but would lead to things he knew were off limits. Rather than tempt himself or earn his partner’s displeasure it was better to set a limit and stay on the other side of it. He was very good with limits – sometimes.

His laboratory would tell other stories.

Perhaps, however, there were other variables that he hadn’t considered. Things like the fact that he’d never bothered to ask where Madara had placed his own boundaries. Coming from two different cultures meant he didn’t have a solid idea of what was going on inside that thickly maned head.

“How about,” he murmured, tilting his head to the side and bending to nose at the length of neck exposed to him, “you tell me when you would like me to back off. And maybe also when you might like me to keep going.”

“I think I can do that,” Madara breathed.

Not even the draw of such an interesting new concept or the continuous stress of having to deal with the superfluous feud between their fathers was enough to break through the bubbling thrill of having Madara pull him in again and moan softly at the glide of his hand, playing with the edges of a well-worn sleep shirt without yet slipping underneath it. Tomorrow he would have a lot on his mind but for now all Tobirama wanted to think about was the way Madara's body felt warm underneath him, the way inquisitive fingers traced patterns on his back, and the impossible possibilities that might not be quite as impossible as he’d been thinking they were.

#rae writes #madatobi #madara #tobirama #hashirama #butsuma #tajima #fanfiction