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serren-diamandis · 5 years

Text

Storytime

Trigger Warning: this story involves attempted sexual assault.

Summer 2011 was... interesting to say the least...

I had broken up with my bf off and on 2 years (honestly probably a total of 6 months) because he was constantly lying to me about everything and it was difficult for me to deal with that and it being a long distance relationship.

A few weeks later, I was visiting my grandparents up north for a little while and this senior I'd been crushing on since I met him suddenly messaged me.

Now let me give some info about this guy we will be calling... Joe. Joe was friends with nearly everyone I hung out with it seemed. He was always nice to me and I enjoyed his company along with everyone else's in our little group.

Just having recieved my first kiss the year before, I was actually really anxious to talk to him outside of our group hangouts.

We had started texting and figured out the whole timezone schedule since he worked and I was out of state for summer vacation.

Eventually, he asked me out. After confirming that my Birthday had just passed and I was now 17 instead of 16 before I left for vacation. Didn't really seem like a red flag at the time since I'd had friends separated from their boyfriends for similar reasons unless they fell under the Romeo and Juliet laws. ( https://www.theshapirolawfirm.com/News-and-Resources/Articles/Romeo-and-Juliet-Law-in-Texas.shtml )

So we set a date for my return to go see the Green Lantern movie. (Which was terrible and should have been a sign) we got to the movies in separate cars, and just as we get to the counter he tells me he's broke. So I being excited and naïve decided it was fine for me to use the last of my allowance to pay for tickets and snacks.

The movie honestly bored me a bit. The cgi wasn't my shtick. So I decided to lean into my date and zone out. Once I felt relaxed I felt his arm snake around my waist and he poked his fingers into the holes of my jeans. This didn't really bother me. They weren't near any place they shouldn't have been.

The date ended and he kissed me goodnight and said he had fun. And we planned a meetup at the library with some of our friends to play MTG. I had tried to learn from a different ex who of course would also be at the library... we will call him.... Tim.

We meet up at the library a few days later and I had made some cute little invites to my 17th birthday party at the lake for the next weekend. I told them don't worry about gifts or anything. It's more so a last splash party before school started up again. Being it was now about a month after my actual birthday had passed.

The library card game was pretty fun. Tim had been my first kiss and broken up with me for being too unavailable (which he understood my reasoning, but it was still just a little heartbreaking for me.) We were still cool. We still hung out with our mutual friends. The dude wasn't a total dick back then.

My current boyfriend had randomized the pairings with an app so we could play. He lent me a deck to try out, and we started our matches. I was still super new to all of this so I just took my time. Joe and his opponent had finished their matches quickly and Tim, being my opponent, told me to take my time and make a strategy.

Joe didn't like his way of being kind to me I guess and had noticed that I was wearing another pair of Jean's similar to my previous ones except, due to an accidental fall... it also had a hole at my inner thigh inches away from... well you know.

He decided to dig too fingers into the outer holes and laugh saying "look Serren! I'm in your pants!" And this actually seemed to have ticked Tim and a couple of others off a little.

I laughed a little and told him I was trying to focus but he wouldnt stop. He kept pushing himself into the various holes and finally saw the one on my thigh. Now at the time I was still a virgin and honestly was still very much determined to stay that way until I met my future husband. This guy was cute and I crushed hard on him, but I knew he wasn't that interested in me. So I batted his hand away after letting out a surprised squeak. And asked him not to do it again.

Didn't work. He kept trying. So I finished my gave and shook hands with Tim after being totally beaten. I stood up to go to look for something to read since I knew I wasn't going to be able to focus through another game and my ride wouldn't be back for a few more hours.

I went unbothered the rest of the time but could hear his friends telling him off via loud whispering.

My ride arrived so I kissed my boyfriend, waved 'bye' to the others and left.

He texted me that evening asking if I was mad at him. I honestly wasn't I just explained that I wanted to learn his favorite game better but had to focus in order to do so.

Like I said earlier, the dude was really cool and seemed to get along with EVERYONE. Right?

WRONG.

The week before my party I had started to receive several messages from my friends and even some of his telling me to break up with him. I was so confused. Everyone seemed fine when we were together with our group? So what's with the change?

Friends of ours messaged me that he was only in a relationship with me to "pop my cherry". It honestly pissed me off. Because, why couldn't anyone tell me before? Now there are accusations about my bf in my inbox stating that he had date raped other girls and I was so confused and hurt. I said I needed time to think but I couldn't just break up with him over rumors.

The following weekend my birthday party arrived. I had bought a really cute 2 piece swimsuit during my vacation that I'd saved for the event.

I arrived with my family and we had given Joe and his friend.... Henry a ride. Joe compliment my swimsuit and walked me over to the rest of our friends who showed up. Save for 2 of them who didn't want to go because of pure spite of Joe and his intentions. 1 of which... was my future husband.

The party was fun and all but I don't like heights unless I'm in a plane so I stayed out of the chicken tournament.

My family left to go pick up pizzas and drop my little brother at martial arts practice. Joe had noticed this and left the 13 person chicken tournament to swim with me. He was flirting with me as usual, but I just brushed it off giggling.

Then I noticed we had drifted away from the rest of the group out to the deeper part of the lake. (I'm getting a little emotional now) I could swim, yeah, but I was no where near the best of swimmers. So I panicked a little.

Joe pulled me to him in what I assumed was an attempt to calm me down. Everyone was still pretty close but not that close. They were mostly pairing off by then and flirting with each other as teens will do. So I relaxed in his arms and had calmed down. I felt his hand reach into my swimsuit and grab my butt and I asked what he was doing. He replied that he was just "testing the waters". Like some stupid pun. And I said that we should probably get back to the others but before I could even finish my sentence my bottoms were pulled down and he had himself pressed against me through his trunks. It hit me like a ton of bricks what he wanted and I freaked. I said "what the hell are you doing Joe?!" and tried to push away. He held me tighter leaving a red mark on my arm that would later turn into a bruise that I'd lie about for the next week or so.

He started pulling his trunks down and pulled me so my back was against him. I was so freaked I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow and swam off after pulling my bottoms back on. I didn't want to make a scene when everyone seemed to be having fun.

One of his friends we will call Fred, came up to me and smirked. I just looked at him confused until he asked me "So? Did you have fun?" That's when I sort of lost it. This was a guy I had trusted since my freshman year. One I'd tried helping my friend get a date with, and just kinda thought was nice but over dramatic... and HE KNEW. He knew everything Joe had planned. I stood up and walked off to the bathroom to cry. No one had noticed and I was kinda glad. I threw this party for everyone. Not just me.

My family came back and I plastered a smile on my face pretending everything was normal. Joe pulled me into his lap and I just went with it not wanting anyone to notice what just happened.

After the part I went home and showered and thought about everything that happened. I planned to break up with him in person at school the following Monday. But I of course, have never been the luckiest gal.

As soon as I got out of the shower I checked my shitty little flip phone and saw he had texted me. "Sorry... but I don't think this is going to work. We just don't want the same things." I was honestly in shock... not only... not only had he tried that shit, but he had now taken the small but of power I had left from me. I was going to break up with him and hopefully make him see that what he did was not okay! But that didn't matter anymore. Now I had pretended everything was fine and if I had come forward after all of my pretending, no way anyone would have believed me... I was just another girl looking for attention.

I started to write this because recently I'd seen Fred back in town and could not figure out why I have so much resentment for the dude. But I'd honestly pushed all of this to the back of my mind for the past 8 or so years. It resurfaced this morning when I read someone's post about their experience.

So now I want to try turning this into a warning...

If you are in a relationship with anyone, and they make you feel uncomfortable at any time... please... TELL SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY.

DON'T LET THEM BE ALONE WITH YOU.

And please please if someone tells you their significant other is hurting them or scaring them... BELIEVE THEM!!

Don't let this or anything worse happen to anyone else. Please...

#self help #self love #this is not okay #believe #speak out #don't hide #have a voice #Serren talks #serren stories #serren cares #i care #we care #don't be afraid

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