#so i just finished wayward son and uh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bustyasianbeautiespod · 2 years

Text

Episode 44 Transcript: BABPod is In Our Divorce Era With Supernatural

G: Hello. My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, the Supernatural commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen this show several times–

C: –and I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also we are both Asian.

G: Today, we will be discussing Season 2, Episode 22: “All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2,” written by Eric Kripke, directed by Kim Manners.

C: I hope Eric Kripke dies forever and ever. Amen.

G: Amen.

C: Wait, is that against Spotify’s Terms and Conditions?

G: Who cares?

C: Who cares. Eric Kripke’s against Spotify’s Terms and Conditions.

G: Exactly. Okay. So…I mean, you know what, let's leave all our thoughts and opinions at the end so that people have something to look forward to. [laughs]

C: Sure, yeah.

G: And let's start with, what did you know about this episode, Crystal, before watching it?

C: Ah, so I knew that this was the episode where Dean's gonna make the demon deal to bring Sam back to life, and he'll only get like, a year to live, and he's gonna lie to Sam about making the deal. Uh, I know that there was some kind of plot that involved opening the gates of hell and releasing a bunch of demons, but I didn't really know how that would go down. I knew that Azazel was gonna get shot with the Colt and die. I thought it was gonna be Sam who did it for some reason, but it wasn't. And then I knew that Jake was going to be killed in a very dehumanizing manner. But I don't think that really prepared me for how bad it was going to be.

G: Yeah, uh [laughs], fuck this episode, man. [laughs]

C: Fuck this episode!

G: It's- it's truly astounding how bad it is. And yes, it's bad, for obvious reasons, like the racism, but it's also bad for the less obvious reasons. Well, I mean they're pretty obvious to like, the John parts, like [C screams] it’s so incredibly funny.

C: I, like, started screaming. The funniest thing that ever happened on all of television.

G: Literally. [laughs] We'll get into it when we get into it. But there was a scene that after John showed up that literally had me screaming and crying [C laughs], like, it was so incredibly funny, and I will dunk on it when we get to it, so you guys just wait.

G: Ah, yeah. So we start with our "Road So Far," “Carry on my Wayward Son.” The very first thing that they say is about the Colt, which, I was like, “Wait! Am I watching the wrong one? Am I on season one?” But, apparently not, they just start with the Colt because the Colt is going to prominent- is gonna feature prominently in this episode. So yeah, I mean, do you have anything to say about the season 2 "Road So Far" for this episode?

C: Um, not really. I think it was funny that the opening, like, scenes, are just like, a bunch of Sam and Dean spinning around and pointing guns at people, like, it's just like, “By the way, this is a show where the men point guns at people.”

G: Exactly. Like the only season finale that we’ve watched so far is the season one so it's impossible to not compare the two. [laughs] They are so far from each other, and you can feel it instantly, like the moment you watch the "Road So Far."

C: Yeah.

G: They are so differing in quality, like the drop off of the quality of the finale from season 1 and 2 is so intense and like, you watch the "Road So Far," and you're like, “Oh, yeah, that's true” immediately, because I remember, like, watching the "Road So Far" from season one and we had our list of like, things that we thought were good about it. Yeah. Good moments in the "Road So Far," and this one is like, “Eh, it’s a 'Road So Far.'” Whatever.

C: Yeah. Things happened. Plot was summarized. Guns were pointed.

G: Exactly. So. Yeah. Ah, that's over now. We start with Dean hanging out in a room. Where this is is quite unclear. Right?

C: Yeah, I assumed it was like, South Oak? Or, sorry, what is it called, the place they were at, the Dakota, South Dakota place. Cold Oak. Cold Oak?

G: Cold Oak. Yeah, South Dakota. I assumed it was one of the houses there.

C: Yeah, same.

G: But like, how far is it from- can you look it up?

G: Yeah, sure.

G: How far in South Dakota from like, Bobby's house.

C: Where is Bobby? Wait. Cold Oak isn't a real place. [laughs]

G: Nooo [laughs], how devastating!

C: Bobby lives in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, so it’s in the same state.

G: Oh, okay, okay.

C: And since we don't know where Cold Oak is due to it not existing, it could be anywhere.

G: We can assume it’s anywhere. Yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: Anyway, Dean and Sam are inside a room except Sam is lying dead on a futon. Is that what’s called?

C: I don't know what he was lying on.

G: A mattress.

C: Sure, yeah.

G: Yeah. And uh, Bobby comes in, and he's telling Dean, “You should eat,” and Dean looks completely fucking distressed. He's very sad. He looks like, numb.

C: Yeah, he looks like me when I have computer science homework.

G: [laughs] Exactly. This is equivalent to having computer science homework.

C: [laughs] I agree.

G: Yeah, Bobby is telling him he should go eat, Dean is like, “I'm fine. I don't need to eat,” and then at some point he goes and like, drinks some whiskey, and Bobby looks at him concerned and goes, “I don't want to be the one to bring this up. But do you think maybe we should bury Sam?” [both laugh]

C: How bad do you think this old house smells at this point?

G: We have talked about this in the podcast in the past, but, like. I have no idea how decomposition, like, happens, like, timeline-wise.

C: Yeah, but also there’s like, no AC in this house and Sam's not like, on ice.

G: Yeah, like, first of all, he's rotting. So there's like, blood for sure, right?

C: Yeah.

G: I mean, he's rotting, period. There's blood, period. And like, when you- I'm pretty sure when you die, you lose control of your faculties, so like-

C: Oh, so yeah, so like, he has shit himself.

G: Like he has shit his pants, yeah, exactly.

G: And so it must fucking stink in there.

C: Yeah, you lift him up from the futon, and it's brown stains everywhere, baby.

G: Yeah.

G: Dean says no. Bobby is like, “Okay, um, maybe we could-” and then Dean is like, “What, burn his body, torch his corpse? Also no.” And, it’s just- a hunter's funeral is a pyre. Right?

C: Yeah.

G: But like, what's the deal? He doesn't want to do that because it's like-

C: Well, because if you burn him, he can’t come back as a ghost.

G: He will never come back. Yeah.

C: And he doesn't have the body to return to in any other way.

G: Can't you resurrect someone who's already ashes?

C: Um, well, yes, in later seasons, but, you know, they have more limited rules they’re working with right now.

G: Exactly.

C: Like, they didn't have Rowena's spell to resurrect Eileen at this point.

G: Anyway, Bobby tells Dean to like, come with him, but Dean says no again, and he- Bobby just says like, “I just don't want you to be alone, and I could use your help, because, whatever this is, whatever is happening, it's gonna be big, and we need to stop it,” and Dean’s like, “Don't you think I've already given enough? [C laughs] Don't you think I've paid enough?” Shit like that. Like, he's done with it.

C: Yeah, I know we're supposed to care and stuff, but-

G: I was laughing. I was like, "This is so incredibly funny."

C: It's a little overact-y.

G: Yeah.

C: And also, maybe I just don't care enough. But yeah.

G: Yeah, um, he pushes Bobby, and he was like um, he was like, yelling, like, “Go, go!” [both laugh] And then he’s pushing Bobby, and Bobby's just standing there, and then Dean goes like, “Sorry, I’m sorry,” blah blah blah, and Bobby turns around and leaves, and we cut to our splash screen.

C: Yeah, also, Bobby said, like, “Whatever's going down is end-of-the-world big,” and Dean, like, yells, “Well then let it end!”

G: [groans] I forgot about that. You're right.

C: And Bobby says “You don't mean that,” in the exact same cadence as “You don't mean that, Sammy,” in that one-in that one-[G laughs] in that one Tiktok that recreates the plot of season six.

G: "You don't mean that, Sammy." [both laugh]

C: It's such a good Tiktok. It's not even that good. But it's so good.

G: You know what, I've told you this-

C: Yes.

G: But, as a promise to the podcast listeners as well, the moment me and Crystal meet in real life, we one hundred percent would recreate like, a plotline from Supernatural, and I would play Dean because I'm shorter and Crystal would play Sam, and we'll hire someone to play Cas. Misha Collins will come and play Cas for us.

C: [C laughs] Misha Collins will come and play himself. Yes.

C: Also when Bobby leaves, Dean looks at Sam's corpse, and a Single Man Tear falls down his face. It's all- it's all very dramatic.

G: You know what?

C: I guess he probably didn't want to cry in front of Bobby. What?

G: All I’m thinking of during this scene was like, “Oh, I wonder which one of us, like, Crystal or me, will get the scene where he's monologuing in front of Sam’s dead body.” 'Cause I was like, I wish it’s not me [C laughs], I don’t want to fucking talk about that. [laughs]

C: Well, I'm taking the Jake scene next. So have fun.

G: I was like- when that scene showed up, and I was like, doing the computation in my head of like, wait, which scene, whose scene is this? It's like, nooooo, it's gonna be mine.

C: Sorry.

G: ‘Cause like, this scene already is already like, so overacted. And I don't remember much from the monologue, so I could just assume it's gonna be this vibe as well, and I was like, “No no no no no, it's gonna be- that's going to be-” [groans] and it was. It was.

C: And, okay, I feel like- maybe like, we would be screaming and crying over this in a different way if we were still in season 1 or something. But at this point I feel like Dean's main personality traits and conflicts have been reiterated so many times before-

G: So much, yeah.

C: Yeah, that like, we don't need it anymore, like we just had 2.20 where he gave the “haven’t I given enough” speech to John's grave. Like, we get the like-

G: The themes, yeah.

C: “I’m your big brother and I’m supposed to take care of you” stuff at the end of AHBL part one and also like, all throughout everywhere, always.

G: Yeah.

C: Like we're good. Like, I get it.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah.

C: So we cut to the woods where Jake is. He's like, camping out next to a tent, and he has a fire, and he just looks like the best little boy ever. So he starts drifting off, and he has a dream where Azazel appears to him and congratulates him on winning. He says- Azazel says that, like, Jake isn't the one that he thought was gonna win, he wasn’t really the one he was rooting for, but, hey, we're here now. Azazel-

G: What an asshole! [laughs]

C: -is an asshole. Yeah. And Jake just says like, “Go to hell. I am going to track you down and kill you.” He says specifically, “Everything you put me through, dragging me to that place, making me kill those people,” and he's like, clearly really upset about all of it! Because he’s a good boy!

G: Yeah.

C: And- see, I just don't understand what they're trying to do with Jake this episode, because like-

G: Exactly!

C: It’s cutting back and forth between him being like, the most reasonable, sympathetic guy in the world, to Sam being like, “I'm going to slaughter that son of a bitch.” And then at the end, when Jake comes face to face with them, he's like, suddenly weird evil? Like, okay? I don’t get it.

G: He becomes- And it's like, throughout this episode I was thinking, “Did Eric Kripke read the script that Sera Gamble wrote for last episode?” [laughs] Like, did they just not agree with what Jake was going to become? 'Cause like-

C: Yeah, I know Kripke agrees with what Jake is going to become, because the Jake at the end is so jarringly different from all those scenes with Jake alone or with Azazel.

G: Yeah, as in, to the point that at the last part where Jake shows up-

C: I thought he was possessed.

G: Exactly! I thought he was possessed, and I was thinking, “How is he possessed? Then he couldn’t enter, right?” And like, that was the plot- that was like, the way my brain was trying to rationalize what I was seeing, because he was a completely different guy, and the way they were like, “Oh, like, because I can control my powers now I'm evil now”, like-

C: [C laughs] Right, like in the last, what? Like, one hour between the last time we saw him and now?

G: Exactly.

C: My God. Yeah. So he's upset. He didn't want to do it. He was forced in there, based off of circumstance, and I don't think anyone put in a death game should be blamed that much for anything they did there. So yeah, Azazel says that “I have plans for you,” Jake does the whole “I'm gonna hunt you down and kill you” thing, and Azazel says, “It's not going to happen, you want to be a good little soldier, because if you're not, that dear old mom of yours and that adorable little sister, I'll make certain that they both live long enough to know the chewy taste of their own intestines.” Yikes. Like he couldn't do the ceiling stab and the on fire thing? [G laughs] Like, he needs special edition here? Alright, racist. So yeah, so Jake eventually is like, “Okay, yeah, what do you want me to do? I'll do it.” Ugh, god! And Azazel pats Jake's cheek and says, like, “Like I said, you’re a genius.” It’s icky, I'm sorry, Jake.

G: And now [laughs]- and now to my dreaded scene. So we have Dean [laughing] mourning Sam- I feel so bad being like, “Oh, this scene sucks, this scene sucks, I don’t wanna talk about it,” but like, if you watch it, it's like, it's really eyeroll-y, the acting for this portion, right?

C: I mean, depends on who the “you” is. I'm sure the Deangirls love it, still.

G: Yeah, I suppose so. And like, you know me, I'm the Deangirl of the podcast. So, I don't know. I was trying. Let's just say that, I was trying to get into it, but I couldn't look at Jensen Ackles’s face [laughs] which is unfortunately the focus of this entire scene. But Dean is talking, and he's saying that like, “When you were little, you were five years old, and you kept asking questions like, ‘Why didn't we have a mom? Why is Dad away all the time?’ And I just kept saying, like, ‘Quit it, Sammy. Stop asking, you don't want to know.’” Because he just wanted to protect Sam, and he wanted to keep Sam safe and stuff, and he wanted him to be a kid, and at some point he says, like, “Dad didn't even have to tell me that you were my responsibility. I just knew it.” Okay, it's making me sad now [both laugh] like, now that I am talking about it. Ugh. Ugh. I mean, like, just the concept of John being like, “He's your responsibility,” like, he shouldn't do that. But the concept that Dean internalized it so much that, like, he didn't even have to think, like, “Oh, it is my responsibility because someone told me to do it.” He just thinks, “It's my responsibility because it is. It's just what it is, it’s just the status quo."

C: That's what being told as a four-year-old to take your six-month-old brother out of a burning building while your dad stays behind to yell at the ceiling does to you, I think.

G: Yeah. [laughs] He did not live a normal life. But essentially, Dean thinks this entire thing is his fault, because he wasn't able to protect Sam. And he just keeps thinking, “I let you down. And how am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do?” And this is the part where I was like, [groans] when he was like-[both] “What am I supposed to doooo?” [both laugh] It was funny, and that was the part where I was like, “Okay. Calm it down, Mr. Jackles.” But another complaint I had about this scene that I thought of at the time was like, "My god! Even Sam's death is about Dean." [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: I felt that way. Now, now that we're talking about it, it's like, I mean, yeah, because you know, I have this thing where- you know when people are like, "Why bother like going to funerals? Like, it's not like the dead person knows that people are coming to their funeral. They're dead," whatever, but, like, you know, it's not about the dead person, it's about the people who are grieving. Who are left behind, so I try to placate myself by thinking that "It's not about the dead. It's about the people who are grieving who are left behind." But I think it applies a little bit less in a TV show, in this format.

C: Yeah, especially in the TV show where we get to see the afterlife a bunch later on, like, you can just cut to Sam hanging out in the Veil, or- Okay, when Dean died in the first episode of this season, it was all about him, so I think if Sam’s dead, he should get to be a ghost hanging around as Dean yells.

G: Yeah. And I mean, they fixed that one by being like, "Dean doesn't even remember." I mean, it's the same thing right? Like-

C: Yeah, Sam could forget.

G: Yeah. So that's my complaint about this scene. But I think it would have been moving if it wasn't- if this season wasn't so bad [C laughs], because I do genuinely think season 2 is bad. And it's bad, because it's not- it doesn't have equal footing or an equal mix of who gets to be the prominent character. It's like they forget that they have two main characters. And it shows in this episode as well, like, it's Dean who gets to do everything, it's Dean who gets to mourn, sell his soul, keep Sam in the dark, kill Azazel, it’s- you know, it's Dean everything, and the only thing we get of Sam is literally racism. Literally, the only- they try to justify it by being like, “Is the Sam that’s back…the real Sam?” But like-

C: They never actually do anything with that later. Right?

G: Yeah, they were like, “What if this is not the real Sam because he's so fucking brutal?” And they were like, “Nah, it’s the real Sam.”

C: Nah, he’s just racist. [G laughs]

G: He’s just like this for real. Ugh.

C: Like, okay, cool. Yeah. Where is Sam right now? How many days has it been? Like- would he have made it past the Veil into Heaven or Hell by now?

G: I mean, do you think Sam would be the type of person to accept death? Would he be like Dean who's like, “You should never succumb to death, and you should stay around and be strong, because strength will keep you alive,” or whatever the fuck? Or do you think- I mean, given that Sam has already died. 'Cause Dean was in a coma, right, because he wasn't trying to- he was trying to evade the Veil or whatever. But because Sam is dead, does that mean…

C: That he said yes to the reaper already? Maybe.

G: Yeah. I mean, I just find it unrealistic, because like, because like, what if you get crushed by like, an anvil. Of course you're gonna die instantly, there's no time for the Veil shit. [laughs] You just- you're just dead. I feel like that's what happened with Sam.

C: Okay, yeah. He just died instantly. So did he insta-go to Heaven or Hell then?

G: Do you think you went to hell?

C: I don't know. Because, you know, Supernatural, like, uses biology as pretty much the primary determinant for where you go [G laughs], and he does have demon blood. So that’s a bit confusing. But also in “Dark Side of the Moon” or whatever, doesn't Ash say, like, “Oh, you've been here a bunch, you just don’t remember each time,” so maybe this is one of Sam’s times.

G: "You guys have gone to heaven a ton of times." So maybe he is in heaven. Yeah.

C: Yeah, by “you guys have been in heaven a bunch” he just means “Mystery Spot,” like, Dean was popping in and out every two seconds. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. Well, Sam's lying there. So after Dean does his whole yell-y shit, we cut to the Impala, and he is driving. There's like this instrumental piece that's like, guitar with violin over it, or something?

G: It's like percussive, almost. It's like- duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.

C: Yeah, it's pretty fun. And he is putting together a crossroads demon summoning box. And he buries it, and he waits a while, and then he starts yelling, “Show your face, you bitch!” [laughs]

G: I mean, I really like the camera work in this scene, as I do. It's like, the camera is swiveling around, and you think the demon is gonna show up, but it doesn’t, and then it swivels around again, and you think that the demon is gonna show up, but she doesn’t, and it's pretty fun. And then when she finally shows up, it's because [laughs] it’s because Dean is screaming “bitch” as he does.

C: Yeah, right. I don't- is this a misogyny point? [G laughs] Who cares.

G: Who cares? There are more crimes in this episode.

C: Yeah, there are way worse crimes in this episode. So yeah, a demon shows up, and she is not the same crossroads demon as the last one who was here, or maybe she's the same one in a different vessel, because she freed- or, Dean exorcized her last time. So, per the us’, she's wearing her sexy, sexy black dress, cleavage out, you know, as Supernatural women do, and she has like a weird sexual energy around Dean where she keeps like, walking close to him and talking in his ear and shit. And like, sure, fine, I get it a little bit, because if a deal is sealed with a kiss, every like, almost kiss or intimidation into a kiss is sort of like, equivalent to her like, pressuring him into a deal. But it's still odd.

G: Yeah.

C: Uh, yeah. She tells him that it's good to see him, and she's like, “I'm getting like, so turned on by how terribly you fucked up your entire family Dean, please, take me now.” [both laugh] So yeah, and Dean's like, “I’m here to make a deal. Bring Sam back from the dead, and you can get my soul because a bunch of demons want it. And then just give me 10 years.” And the demon's like, “That's fucking stupid. I'm not giving you that amount of time,” and Dean, like, keeps bargaining. He goes down to 5 eventually, and he says like, “That's my last offer,” and she's like, “Nah, no deal,” and starts walking away. But eventually, Dean's like, “Okay, wait, wait, wait, just like, fine. You decide.” And she says, like, “I shouldn't be doing this, but you know, fine, let's just do it. Let's do a deal. I'll bring him back, and I'll give you only one year, but if you try to get your way out of the deal, then I will kill Sam on the spot,” and Dean kisses her. So it's a deal.

G: What's fascinating to me is, when John gave his life for Dean, it actually felt like the one selfless thing he did for his children.

C: Yeah.

G: But this one reeks of selfishness. Like, the whole point of this, because- especially because of the speech that he gives prior, where it's like, “What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel that I failed you?” Like, it reeks of like, “Oh, I’m keeping you alive for myself, and none of it is actually for you or for your enjoyment. Like, I'm gonna die in a year. And you're gonna have absolutely no one except aside from Bobby, maybe, who will also probably die in a couple of years, let's be honest [both laugh], and then you have no life left to go back to, your girlfriend's dead, you have a criminal record-

C: Yeah, you escaped from prison recently.

G: "You will have no life to come back to, and you won't have a brother anymore. Who is at this point like, the only person in your life." And it's like, Dean was like, “No, it's fine. It's fine if he's miserable, as long as I don't get to feel guilty.”

C: As long as we get a year together.

G: Yeah, and it's like. Well, you're kind of a dick, Dean.

C: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not like Sam couldn't have a life he was happy with after this, but it'd be hard, and I don't think Dean's really taking that into account. Also, what are the rules of demon kisses? Does it have to be with tongue? Because this one's long.

G: I mean, the the kiss between Bobby and Crowley allegedly had tongue.

C: So tongue is a requirement. I see.

G: Yeah, I see.

G: So back in the motel- is this a motel?

C: No, it's not.

G: Back in the room, Sam's eyes open, and he's alive. And he like, goes towards the mirror and looks at his body, and he looks at his back, and it's apparently like, still very painful. But he's checking it out, and there's no wound, right?

C: Is there not?

G: Or is there a wound? It's just fixed.

C: It's a pretty bad scar, but it looks pretty healed over.

G: Yeah.

C: He's so "Laz Rising"-core for doing this.

G: Yeah. I'm sad that, like, when Dean was resurrected, it was such a whole ordeal. And I mean, I love it. I love that episode so much for many reasons, but when Sam gets resurrected, it's like, "Eh." [laughs] It's barely even like, half the episode.

C: Yeah. Because it's like the last episode of the season instead of Dean's resurrection being the first episode of the season.

G: Yeah, exactly. Which is why- I mean, I said this before last time, but I kind of wish they made last episode the last episode of the season and made this the beginner of the next season, right?

C: Yeah.

G: I think it would be fun to have Sam be dead for a while in terms of audience time, you know, right? 'Cause this was airing-

C: I guess there was less buy-in at this point because it was only season 2, so they were worried no one was gonna come back? [G laughs]

G: Because their beloved Sammy has died.

C: Yes.

G: So true. Maybe I'm not thinking TV enough. I'm not not there yet.

Okay, so Dean comes in, and he's like, "Oh my god, you're alive!" And he hugs Sam, and Sam is like, "Ouch! Yeowch! [C laughs] Ouchie!" Because it's very painful. But he asks Dean what happened to him, and Dean asks what he remembers, and he says he just saw him and Bobby - as in Dean and Bobby - they were running towards him. He felt a hot, searing pain- well, did he say that? He said he felt a sharp pain, like cold? Or did he say it was hot?

C: White-hot.

G: It was white-hot. Okay. So he says that he felt this pain, like white-hot. And then Dean just started running, and that's it. And Dean is like, "Yeah, the kid stabbed you and you lost a lot of blood. It was pretty difficult, it was touch and go for a bit." And Sam was like, "Could you even patch up a wound that bad?: And Dean was like, "Eh, Bobby can." So.

C: Yep. Respect your elders, Sam. Get over it. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And Sam asked like, "The kid's name is Jake. Did he escape?"

C: Well, he said, "Did you get him?" Fuck off, Sam.

G: "Did you get him?" And Dean says, "No, he disappeared into the woods." And then Sam was like, "We gotta find him, Dean! I'm gonna fucking tear that son of a bitch apart!" And it shocked me.

C: Yeah.

G: I literally was shocked when this scene happened. 'Cause like, I know Jake killed him.

C: Yeah, but like, whatever? [G laughs]

G: He literally treated those like, fucking vampires better than this guy.

C: Yeah.

G: And this guy is already human to him. Like, he's human in that he's human, and also he has been humanized in that they know each other

C: They were hanging out. They were friends for a bit.

G: And like, he knows Jake's motivations. And if it was like, "We need to stop him because he's bound to do something bad for the demons," that's gonna be more reasonable than like, "I want revenge because he fucking stabbed me, oh no! [whiny voice] And I almost died! Oh god!"

C: "My back hurts!" Like, get over it.

G: "I have back pain!" Fuck off, Sam. [C laughs]

C: Fuck off, Sam. It's just 8 years early. [G laughs] You'll have to get used to back pain anyway.

G: Exactly.

C: Yeah, there is just no reason to kill Jake. Like, he's not dangerous, and, like Sam, knows that his intentions are good, like the only thing you'd want to do is maybe stay away from him if you think he's gonna to try to kill you again.

G: He shows more empathy for like, what's her name? Ava having murdered someone directly in front of him-

C: And murdered like, dozens of people before that.

G: Yeah. And also is pretty much assuredly evil at that point. He was still hesitant to kill her, exactly.

C: Yeah.

G: And yet with Jake, it's like, "No, no, no. Murder is only the answer, and we have to tear this 'son of a bitch' apart." And it's like- [C groans] And I know, like- like- [sighs] I- [groans] It's horrible.

C: And also, like, the very end of last episode, like Jake attempted to kill Sam, and then Sam had the chance to kill Jake, and he still didn't. So like, what has changed? Does back pain really do that to you?

G: That was- [laughs] Maybe it does. [both laugh] But the thing that they were trying to do this episode was like, "Oh, Sam is dangerous now that he's back because he's not back as himself. He's back as some creature."

C: Yeah.

G: Fuck off. You don't even commit to that.

C: Yeah, like Azazel does the whole thing, and Dean's like, "Meh." And he doesn't like, give Sam any suspicious looks or anything at the end of the episode, and, as far as I'm aware, in season 3, it's never a plot point that Sam's brought back wrong.

G: Yeah. It's more of a plot point that Dean is brought back wrong.

C: Yeah, it's weird.

G: Ugh. Anyway. Dean is like, "We're just gonna eat. Like, calm down." And so they go to eat, right? And then, in between that and the next scene, Sam relays what has happened in the kill town, and so Dean is like, "Poor Andy."

C: Deanandy real.

G: Deanandy real, real number one. But the second thing I thought of was like, "Ava is a victim too!" And you're- I know she turned out evil-

C: Also, what about Lily? She died.

G: Yeah! Literally everyone in that scenario was a fucking victim. And Dean only had eyes for Andy. Literally why you are- what's the joke?

C: Why are you as a man-

G: [laughs] Why are you, as a man, only thinking about Andy Gallagher?

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. And Sam relays that the demon said he only wanted one of us to walk out alive, and Dean is like "Oh, he talked to you?" Sam says, "In a dream." Dean says, "He tell you anything else?" And Sam says, "No. Nothing else. He told me nothing else. He didn't say anything else-" [laughs]

C: Yeah, like, "Why are you asking questions, Dean? What the fuck? Maybe the demon talked to you in a dream and said that you had demon blood. Have you considered that, Dean? Huh? Huh?"

G: [laughs] Literally.

C: Why do you think he's keeping this from him?

G: Well, maybe it scared him a bit. Like, "I have demon blood-" But also, like, I didn't really connect that it was the demon blood he was hiding for a little bit. I thought he was hiding the fact that Mary knew the demon.

C: Oh, yeah, that could be part of it.

G: Which- that is even more confusing. Like, why would he hide that? And I was like, "I don't know." And then I was like, "Oh, no no no, he's hiding the blood demon part." And it's like, "Oh, okay, that makes a little bit more sense." But like, at this point, just tell Dean. Like, just tell him, you know?

C: Yeah, like, you know, he's not gonna kill you.

G: Yeah.

C: I don't think that was ever a major fear. It was maybe a desire at points. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's just a lot to take in. He doesn't want to tell Dean until he's done processing it himself, I guess. But we don't really get much of Sam's internal life here, so I don't know.

G: Yeah. Anyway, Sam thinks like, "If Jake got away, then I got away, then the demon was wrong, and both of us got away instead of just one of us. So like, why is that?" And Dean- it's Dean's turn to hide something. He's like, "Well, they left you for dead. They probably thought it was over. What's he gonna do with Jake?" And then Sam does the whole, like, "We gotta stop him. Whatever it is, we gotta stop him." And then, you know, it's the whole thing again where Dean is like, "No, no, no, wait up, wait up. Can't you just take care of yourself for a little bit? It's not the Apocalypse yet." And this is the part where Sam asks about the Roadhouse, and Dean has to say that it has been burned to the ground because of demons. And Ash was like, looking for something, blah blah blah. And so Sam says, "Well, we gotta go to Bobby's. It's near here," which, you know, now that we know it's in South Dakota, yeah, it's probably near.

C: Also, Dean says, "Ash is dead, and probably Ellen, too," and I know that they know that Jo is not at the Roadhouse anymore, but can you just spare a quick thought for her? Has anyone told her yet?

G: No, exactly.

C: Like, if they think Ellen is dead, they need to call Jo. Like, Ellen, probably has called Jo already, so it's fine, but in their universe, where Ash and Ellen are dead and the Roadhouse has burned down, like, fucking call Jo.

G: That's her mother, and that's her home. Like, fucking call her. Yeah.

And then Dean is like, "Why can't you just take care of yourself? Why do we have to go to Bobby's?" But Sam insists. So they go to Bobby's.

C: Yeah, so Bobby opens the door, and Sam and Dean are there, and Bobby's like, "What the motherfuck?" [laughs] Because Dean didn't even text in advance.

G: Yeah. [laughs] "Hey, heads up. The dead person that you left behind is now alive."

C: "Yeah, just so you know." Like, I'm surprised that he didn't do any kind of holy water or like, silver blade test on Sam, because, you know, that's probably what you would assume first.

G: But like, maybe he's assuming that because Dean is like, talking to this guy-

C: Yeah, that he's already done the tests.

G: Yeah.

C: So right, they greet each other, and they go in. It's Bobby, like looking at Dean like "bro." And Dean's just like, "Well, Sam's better, and we're back in it now. So what do you know?"

G: "What do you know?"

C: [laughs] "What's a fella to do?"

G: [laughs] "What's a fella to do?"

C: So Bobby shows them a map, and he says that there have been a bunch of sudden demonic omens happening everywhere except for in Southern Wyoming, almost as if the demons are surrounding it. And he tells Sam to just look at the map alone as an excuse to go and talk to Dean alone. So they go out to the junkyard, and- Do you want this? You seem to care about this scene.

G: I mean, not really.

C: Okay.

G: This is the part of the episode where I was- You texted me, like, in the middle of the episode that you were like, "I just feel like I don't want to be watching this anymore." [both laugh] And this is the part of the episode where I was like, "Yeah, me too. I don't really wanna be watching this anymore." Which- okay, to our audience, right? I just want to say, I find it annoying when other people do the thing where they're like, "We're doing a podcast, but we hate the show." And like, [laughing] I want you to know that I still love Supernatural. We're just going through a rough patch right now. So. [laughing]

C: Yeah, Supernatural's sleeping on the couch right now, but once they clean up their act and get Cas back, it'll be better.

G: Yeah, like Supernatural and I are at our divorce era. But we will remarry. So. [C laughs]

Okay. I'll take this scene.

C: Alright.

G: So Bobby comes out. Dean comes out. Oh my god, Happy LGBT Day. [both laugh] That joke is so bad. But anyway, Dean and Bobby go out to the yard, and Bobby's like, "You stupid ass! What did you do? What did you do?" And then he was like, "You made a deal for Sammy, didn't you? How long did they give you?" And Dean confessed that they gave him a year. And Bobby goes like, "Dammit, Dean." Which is- the only thing I thought was like, "That's a Cas line! Bobby, you're stealing Cas's lines. He's the one who's supposed to say 'Dammit, Dean' in like, season 9 or something." But Dean is like, "I mean, now that I have nothing to lose, now that I have just a year left, I guess I'll have to kill the demon, right? Like I don't have- I literally will be dead in a year, so I have nothing to lose." And Bobby is very angry. He's like, "I can throttle you!" And Dean is being snarky and being like, "Oh, what, send me ahead of schedule?" But like- the dialogue is like a bit like, you know, fun, but, like, the scene is very sad. Like, Bobby is holding him by the neck like a cat, and then at some point he like, holds his face, and it- it does make you very sad.

C: Yeah. That's his kid.

G: Yeah. At some point, he says, like- [laughs] Oh my god, I'm tearing up! Insane behavior. But Bobby says, "What is it with you Winchesters? You're just like, fucking so ready to throw yourselves into the pit. Like, first your dad, now you." And Dean says, "That's the point, Bobby. Like, Dad wasn't even- I'm not even supposed to be here because Dad just sold his soul for me to be here. So at least something good can come out of it." And Bobby says, "What? Like there wasn't anything good in it before?" Ahh! Okay. Yeah. Then he asks, like, "Why is your opinion on yourself so low?" Blah blah blah.

C: "Are you that screwed in the head?"

G: And he is, Bobby. Like, I don't know if you know this, Bobby, but he is that screwed in the head. And Dean says like, "I couldn't let him die. I just couldn't. He's my brother." And Bobby says, "How is your brother going to know that you're going to Hell because of him?" And Dean says, like, "You can't tell him. Please don't tell him. You can take a shot at me, whatever you want to do. But please don't tell him."

C: Yeah. And this is- in "Crossroad Blues," right, Dean confronts the guy who sold his soul for his wife who was dying of cancer.

G: Yeah.

C: And he was like, "I think you did it for yourself so you wouldn't have to live without her. But guess what? She's going to have to live without you now. Like, how do you think she'd feel when she knew that it like, cost your soul?" So, you know, this is sort of Bobby reiterating that. But Dean, of course, has double standards. But I mean, don't all of we? Like, all of us? Like, I'd be pissed if someone sold their soul for me, but like, I would like, definitely sell my soul for like, a handful of people to have like a good week. [both laugh] So- Yeah, I get it.

G: I just think- because the computation doesn't add up. So you have one soul in Hell already because he thinks that two souls are going to go to Heaven. But now you have two souls in Hell because those two people thought that one soul is going to heaven. So Sam. So like, it just doesn't add up, you know what I mean?

C: Well, there's also time on earth that matters. But yeah, I guess since Hell is for eternity, then it's maybe weighted higher.

G: I mean, maybe now it does add up, because finally, John is in Heaven now. [laughing]

C: Boo!

G: Incredibly funny scene. So maybe it was worth it just for being funny. Also, isn't it so funny that lik, for the longest time, I didn't know that John was in Heaven? I thought he was still in Hell. And then now, it's like, in the most forgettable season finale of the entire show.

C: Yeah.

G: 'Cause this is, right? Like, I can name what happens in every other season finale of the show.

C: I mean, we can name what happens in this one, too. Like, Dean makes a deal and all the demons come out.

G: I can. I mean, I know that Dean makes a deal, but like, that's literally the only thing, and that's the beginning of the season finale. So like, that's not the finale finale. Like, I know that season 9, Dean like, opens his eyes, and he becomes a demon. And then, like, I know everything else for every other season. But this one, and you ask me like, "How does this season end? Like, what's the last shot of the season?" I don't fucking know. [C laughs] I think it's the most forgettable one. Easily. Do you not think so? Or you don't have the opportunity to forget yet?

C: I don't know the end of season, like, 10. Like, they kill Death at some point, but like-

G: Yeah, they kill Death at some point.

C: I don't know how it ends ends.

G: They release the fucking Darkness.

C: Oh, for real?

G: I think so.

C: Oh yeah, because they created all the problems in season 11 that they have to solve. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. I think maybe that's the reason why this episode was bad. Because the thing that is good about it, which is like, resurrecting Sam, the thing that is memorable, happens in the first quarter of the episode. So maybe that's why it's like, you're like halfway through, and you're like, "I don't want to be watching this anymore. The good stuff's over."

C: Yeah, maybe.

G: And they kill here the main villain of the first 2 seasons. [laughs] And you're like, "Whatever. Who cares?"

C: I mean, that's why they had to release 200 more demons so that they could get funding for season 3.

G: [laughs] No, exactly.

C: Yeah. But also, I feel like Dean just also thinks that Sam doesn't need him as much as Dean needs Sam, which is true, but I think he also thinks that Sam doesn't love him as much as Dean loves Sam, which I don't think is true.

G: I think that's an incredibly self-centered thing to think for literally any relationship.

C: Yeah.

G: And, as I said earlier, I think Dean is incredibly selfish for what he's done. So, makes sense. [C laughs]

We're just about to get to the emotional part here. So like, Bobby is crying, Dean is crying, Bobby is holding his face. And you think, "Oh no, are they gonna hug? That's so sad." But there's sound, and they are like, [gasps]. And they go hide in the cars, blah blah blah. But the sound turns out to be [both] Ellen!

C: Good for her.

C: So we are back inside Bobby's, and he, like, gives her a shot glass full of holy water to test that she's not a demon. And for some reason, she doesn't- she seems kind of resistant to like, taking the shot, but she eventually-

G: Do you think this holy water tastes disgusting?

C: Possibly. Like, all old water tastes kind of gross, so.

G: Yeah, like, is this filtered? Is this tap water? Is this like, water from like, a fucking tank? What's the deal? You know what I mean?

C: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, didn't John make holy water by putting a rosary in a tank?

G: Yeah, I know. [laughing] Yeah.

C: So maybe Bobby just got some tap water and then put a rosary in it.

G: Exactly. Do you- you're not Catholic, right? You're not-

C: No, I'm not anything.

G: Yeah. Because like, at our house, there's like, we have holy water. And like, I feel like in every Filipino Catholic house, there's always this thing, but it's like a screwtop bottle where the bottle is shaped like Mama Mary-

C: Aww.

G: Maybe I should drink from it, just to see what it takes like. [both laughing] Yeah. I will not. I'm sorry. I am committed to the podcast, but not that committed. [C laughs]

C: So yeah, she explains that they burned down the whole Roadhouse, and she was intended to be murdered too, but coincidentally, she was out on a pretzel run at the time. And Ash called her super panicked and said to check the safe in the basement, and then she came back, and everyone was dead. And she doesn't mention Jo at all here, either. Where's Jo?

G: Yeah. They were just like, "I don't know. Forget her."

C: Forget her.

G: I don't even know if she shows up in season 3.

C: Aw, really?

G: I mean possibly, right? She has to. She shows up in 4, of course.

C: Doesn't Dean try to pull the "last night on earth" on her? Is that related to his demon deal in season 3 or is that a season 4 thing?

G: Didn't he already pull that?

C: Oh, did he already?

G: Like last time- the first time they met?

C: Oh, maybe.

G: No! He pulls that, I think, in season five. It's the same episode as the shots episode, I think.

C: Oh, okay, I see. So she managed to rescue what was in the safe, and it is a map of Wyoming [both laughing] with some lines on it.

G: Incredibly funny.

C: Yup. Ash died for this.

G: Ash literally died for this. He turned into ash for this.

C: Aw. [laughs] No! Yeah, so Bobby like, loredumps a bit. So apparently, each of the X's on the map is an old frontier church that was built by Samuel Colt, and then he built like, railway lines connecting all of the churches such that they formed a devil's trap. Which means that all these railway lines were intersecting with each other, and all the trains crashed into each other, and everyone died. [laughs]

So yeah, it forms a devil's trap, and since it's made out of iron, that means that no demons can cross anywhere here, and it's huge. It's like, all of Wyoming. And it definitely still works because none of the demons have been able to touch Southern Wyoming yet. And Dean says that the only thing he can find that's in the middle is some old cemetery. So they are all wondering what was Samuel Colt trying to protect in there, or what was he trying to keep in? Dun-dun-dun!

G: Ooh.

C: And Bobby's like, "I don't think any full-blood demon could get across those lines to go inside." And Sam's like, "Oh. I know what Jake is going to be tasked with."

G: So we go to Jake who is now, just like, driving, and he stops by the railroad. Yellow-Eyes is there. Azazel is there. And they talk again-

C: When do we even learn Azazel's name? Because he's dead by the end of this, and we still don't know his name.

G: Yeah, I know. I was waiting for it. And it's like, "Nope, they're not gonna show it." I think there's like a little bit of lore about how demon names are like, super important.

C: Hmm.

G: So like ,they were trying to not say Azazel's name because of that.

C: Okay.

G: Maybe? I don't know. I don't really remember it that well. But I think that's the reason why they don't say his name. But he tells Jake that 50 miles ahead, there's a crypt, and they need Jake to open that crypt. And Jake is like, "Go do it yourself. Fuck you! Why do you want me to do it?" And Azazel says, like, "Well, I can't." Which, now we know is because of the star- well, it's not a star. What's it called?

C: A pentagram?

G: A pentagram. Because of the pentagram railroad. He says, like, "If you're gonna open that that crypt, though, you need a key." And he hands Jake the gun, and he says, "This is the only gun that can kill me." It's the Colt, by the way. He hands it over. "This is the only thing in the universe that can shoot me dead." And Jake is like, "Is that so?" And then he takes it, and of course, obviously, he points the gun at the Yellow-Eyed Demon. And Azazel is doing the whole, like, "Well, you can shoot me and your life, you can go back to normal, except you can't go back to the military because you've gone AWOL, and maybe they'll let you back in at the factory. But you let me continue- if you do what I tell you to do, and it's just super simple, you just open the crypt, you and your family will live a luxurious life, and you will be royalty." And I just think- why is this the thing that-?

C: Yeah, like, he started with "I'm going to kill your mom and sister," and like, he ends at, "I will make sure your mom and sister get to eat ice cream"? Like- [laughs]

G: Exactly. And it's like, I think a reasonable thing to be said here is "You can kill me, but I'm not the only demon in the fucking world."

C: Yeah, and "I'm important in Hell, and they will go after your family anyway."

G: Yeah, like "You will be dead, and your family will be dead, so like, might as well follow my orders." And I was waiting for him to say that. And so I was like, so shocked when Jake put down the gun. And like, we talk about-

C: Also, capitalism is a hellscape. So- [laughs] I kind of get it.

G: I mean, I- Honestly, I really don't get it.

C: I think the royalty thing is stupid. But I do think the whole like, "Okay, like, you want to go back to your normal life? Well, you're gonna be unemployed and working like, minimum wage," and- I just-

G: Yeah, "You won't be able to sustain your family," blah blah blah.

C: Yeah, like, "If your mom trips and falls down the stairs, then it's over for her," or whatever. Like, I do get it, but I think that the way that it was presented was not very convincing, and ending on "You'll be royalty" being what like motivates Jake feels off.

G: Yeah, especially because he literally just threatened his family with disembowelment.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, I don't know. Is this- the way they- [laughs] It's not like they were making a commentary about capitalism this episode. [both laughing] They were like, "Capitalism is the root of all evil and literally what the demonic powers that be have used to control and manipulate humanity." Like, they weren't saying that.

C: Yeah.

G: So like, I feel like making that argument is like, a little bit faulty.

C: Mm.

G: Yeah. Hate it. Hate it so much. One, Jake should have been the one to kill this guy.

C: Yes.

G: I do not care Sam and Dean.

C: Yeah. He should have just shot, and then that was the end of season 2. Bye.

G: He puts down the gun, and then Jake proceeds.

C: Yup.

C: So we're at that cemetery in the middle of the pentagram, and Jake's coming in, walking towards the crypt, and like, we see that Dean is hiding somewhere. And then Sam says, "Howdy, Jake." And a fucking arsenal of white people [laughs] jump out and surround him, and it looks ridiculous. They have four people against one guy. It's stupid as shit. [G laughs] Like, he is one guy with one bullet, and they have four whiteys just surrounding him. Diversity win, one of them is a woman. It's Bobby, Ellen, Sam and Dean. It- yeah, it looks bad. It looks like a fucking firing squad or something. Like, it's not good.

G: [sighs] Well, it gets worse. I'll tell you that.

C: It gets worse, I'll tell you that. Literally- okay, so Jake in this scene. It's been, what?

G: He's a completely different guy.

C: He drove fifty miles. It's been what? Like, an hour? What happened?

G: Suddenly he is like, "Oh, I can control-"

C: "Control people's minds."

G: The thing he said here was like, "If you open your mind, there's like many Jedi tricks you could do."

C: Yeah, right, like, he did not have an open mind about being demon blood-y like an hour ago. What was happening on that car ride?

G: Yeah. Like, he was listening to like a right-wing podcast, and he was like, suddenly, I knew-

C: He turned on the Joe Rogan show. [both laugh]

G: Exactly.

C: And suddenly, everything changed. God. Yeah.

So Jake is really freaked to see Sam alive because he's like, "I super killed you. Like, I cut through your spinal cord. You cannot be alive." And Bobby like, tells him to like, take it easy, and Jake goes all like, "And if I don't?" And this isn't- he's not like- From what we've seen, he does not seem like the type to like, try to provoke an enemy, you know? Like, I don't know why he's doing- I mean, I know why he's doing this is because Eric Kripke hates Black people and he wants to justify Jake's death in some way. But like, whyy?

G: I don't know. I fucking hate this scene.

C: Yeah. Because like, and then he like, goes at Sam, he's like, "What are you gonna do? Kill me?" Like, Jake, what are you doing?

G: He was like-

C: You have one bullet!

G: Yeah.

C: So, you know.

G: Let's say that he has one bullet, but he can mind control everyone to kill themselves. He still can't do that with Sam. Sam will still kill you, bro!

C: Sam can still kill you. And he did.

G: And he will.

C: Yeah. This is incredibly unstrategic, and I feel like the main Jake thing is being strategic.

So Jake starts doing like a little evil laugh, or whatever. And Dean says, "What are you smiling at, you little bitch?" And Dean usually tries to- like, he cares about the distinction between "bitch" and "son of a bitch" a lot, right? Like, I don't think he's ever called a man a bitch.

G: I know. I also took note of that. I was like, "Why are you calling him a bitch?"

C: [laughs] Besides Sam.

G: [laughs] Yeah. I-

C: And I think this is the Dean version of making the insult worse. I think that Dean thinks that "son of a bitch" is better than "bitch."

G: Yeah.

C: So he's like, "You don't even deserve to be the son of a bitch. You're just a bitch." [G laughs]

G: Ugh. Absolutely horrible.

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. It's just another stone on the pile of dehumanization. And then Jake singles out Ellen. He says, like, "Lady, do me a favor. Put that gun to your head." And okay, I know that, like, during "Folsom Prison Blues," we were all like, "Henriksen isn't hot anymore because he's misogynistic." But I also think that it's the deliberate choice of the writers to make the three main recurring Black characters like in the season, Gordon, Henriksen, and Jake, like misogynistic in some ways so that we dislike them.

G: Yeah.

C: 'Cause he did not have this vibe at all earlier. Like, he was very respectful of Lily and Ava until he had to kill Ava.

G: Yeah. And like, I mean, we've reiterated over and over again. But he's not him this scene!

C: Yeah, I really thought he was possessed.

G: Because at some point, his eyes glow, right?

C: Yeah, they glow red.

G: So I was like, "Oh, he's possessed, then!" And then they just didn't- for the entirety of the next couple of minutes, I was thinking about like, my dilemma earlier, like, "How is he possessed and inside?"

C: Yeah.

G: And then, when I realized they like, "Oh, no, they're just doing this. It's just him. But like whatever the fuck." Up to the point where Sam was shooting him, and he was saying, like, "No, no," I thought like, "Oh, it's him again. He stopped being possessed?" But like, no, they just-

C: No, it's just him.

G: They just don't do anything with it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Agh. Yeah. Whatever. So he gets Ellen to point her gun at herself. And yeah, Jake says that whole like, "That Ava girl was right. Once you give into it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn." Literally when did you give into it? Just during the Joe Rogan show? [G laughs] Like, bro.

G: I mean, the Joe Rogan show can make you do atrocities.

C: Yeah, I- is this supposed to be like, a twist? Like, is it supposed to be like, "Oh, you thought this whole time that he was like a cool, sympathetic guy, but actually the whole time that he's been offscreen, he's been practicing his powers." Is that what they're going for?

G: No.

C: I don't think so, yeah.

G: I mean, if it is, they did it so incredibly poorly that like, you saying that literally sounds like you're just pulling shit out of your ass.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, it's- this entire scene is so terribly written from every perspective. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, like, at least with Ava, she had like five months for her evil arc.

G: I know. Yeah.

C: Yeah, I feel like it says something about Supernatural's ethos. I feel like Supernatural believes that, like some people are just born with the capacity for evil, and you can just flip that switch at any time with no actual motivation.

G: Yeah.

C: It's odd.

G: Yeah.

C: So Jake tells everyone to put their guns down- "Except you, sweetheart," is what he says to Ellen again. Okay. And he takes the Colt out, and he puts it in the crypt and starts like, using it as a key. I don't really understand how this works. Does he just spin it around a lot?

G: No, he just puts it in and it starts-

C: Oh, it just starts spinning?

G: Yeah.

C: Did they-? Whatever, they made like a lot of automatons and stuff in like, Victorian era or whatever. It's- yeah, Samuel Colt's a smart guy.

Yeah, okay, so this is where we get to the part of the episode where, after it happened, I paused and took a half-hour break. So his back is turned, and Sam-

G: Just shoots him.

C: And it seems- like, we don't see who it is. It seems like everyone, but mostly Sam- shoots him in the back.

G: I think it's Sam. No, because Bobby and Dean like, specifically get Ellen.

C: Okay.

G: So it's really really just Sam. Sam does all the shooting.

C: So Sam like, shoots Jake in the back. Like, a lot. Like five times or something. Right?

G: And he's not yet done.

C: And he's not done yet. Jake falls to the ground, and like, he's bleeding profusely, he's like gargling blood, and he is begging Sam like, for his life, like saying like, "Please, don't." And Sam walks over him and shoots him three more times.

G: Yeah. And they do this thing where-

C: And blood spatters on Sam's face. And he does a whole thing where he like [both], wipes it off. [G groans] Like, fuck off.

So that was bad.

G: Yeah.

C: It's yeah, definitely I think the most brutal death in Supernatural thus far.

G: I mean, they even- like, the whole like, blood splatter on the face, they paralleled it with like-

C: Yeah, Dean and the vampire in "Bloodlust."

G: Yeah, Dean and the vampire, right? Except in "Bloodlust," they made a point of being like, "Dean was deeply affected by this, and Sam himself was deeply affected by this." And this one, it's just throwaway. Like, for a moment, Dean looks at him like "Huh!" And then he wipes the blood off his face, and that's the only recognition we get.

C: Remember in early season 2 when Sam was like, "Dean you're scaring me except when you're hunting when you're like, downright terrifying because of like, how okay you are with killing creatures"? And now Sam has murdered a full-ass human being, and no one gives a shit?

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. Again, I feel like we need to like, remember that this is like, the first human that either of them have killed, and Supernatural has been so staunchly against killing humans, even like, evil ones-

G: [groans] Yeah.

C: - and like, it doesn't matter.

G: I like, I completely forgot about that. I completely forgot about that. Like, this is the first human that they kill.

C: Yeah. Though I would say that in "Hollywood Babylon," they do let Walter get killed very easily.

G: No, they killed the- like, I mean, did they kill like, the fucking Benders?

C: Um, did they? No, the cop shot them.

G: Yeah. So this is the first human they kill.

C: Yeah. And they breeze over that. Like, that doesn't matter. Because they are incredibly dehumanizing of Jake in this whole episode.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, yeah. Yeah. And I think like, at the end of this episode, like, when they're leaving, I think I started tearing up because I remembered how Jake, like cut Lily down from the windmill to like-

G: Oh no!

C: Give her a proper funeral, and they leave his body there.

G: They just leave him there.

C: Like, his mom and sister are never gonna know about this because he's supposed to be in Afghanistan.

G: [sadly] Oh...

C: Like, he's just there like, in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming, like lying on the ground rotting, and his family is never gonna know, and they do not bother giving him a proper burial.

G: Yeah.

C: Also, like, a huge part of this season has also been how Sam and Dean have been accused of like, murdering people, and it's like, "No, we're good guys! [both] We would never murder people!" like you just murdered a human. Good job.

G: And it's not even a big deal to anyone.

C: Yeah.

Also, like, Sam, was like fucked for calling the cough on Gordon in "Hunted," but also like, a big part of "Hunted" was how like Dean sees Sam as a saint, and like, "Oh, like, go on, Sam. Like, kill me so that you can show like, your true colors," and then, like, he doesn't. So I just- what is the point? What's happening here? Why is any of this?

G: [sighs] I mean, who fucking knows. I wanna- ugh.

C: I mean, I guess I read a post that like, one of Kripke's original plans for the first 5 seasons was that Sam was gonna become like boyking of hell in order to get Dean out of his deal, so like, maybe this is the beginning of that arc, but also, who give a shit.

G: I mean, it doesn't happen, so it's-

C: Yeah, it doesn't happen, so like, whatever. And also, if it was gonna happen, it didn't have to start like this. Like, yeah, every single recurring Black character in this season has been an antagonist-

G: Yeah.

C: - and like, yeah, similar in a lot of ways. And it's a bad look,

G: And it frustrates me because they even have an entire episode as a race allegory, but like, how about the truth of it, Eric Kripke? Ugh. [C screams]

C: Yeah. It's a race allegory, except the bad guy is a Black man, and the good guys - the people with racism enacted against them - are white vampires. Cool, Eric Kripke. Cool, Sera Gamble.

G: God, that was Sarah Gamble too, right?

C: Yeah, "Bloodlust"? Yeah, no. She has a bad record.

G: Yeah, you're right.

C: Yeah. Who introduced Henriksen? I think Henriksen's a little more complex, but I think that at the beginning, he is just considered a bad guy or whatever.

G: A bad guy, yeah.

C: Is he in "Nightshifter"?

G: Yeah.

C: [accusingly] Bedlund!

G: Bedlund! [laughs] To be fair, he's not like, bad in that episode.

C: Yeah.

G: I don't think he was written poorly that episode.

C: Yeah, it really wasn't until "Folsom Prison Blues." In which case, [accusingly] John Shiban!

G: [laughs] Ugh.

C: Ugh. And I don't know how casting in Supernatural works. I know that Gordon is Black on purpose-

G: We've talked about this before.

C: - But yeah, I don't know about the others, but it's it's a hell of a coincidence if so. Yeah, also, and just like, they totally definitely cut Lily's line after they saw who the actress was. [G laughing]

G: Yeah.

C: They could have changed the script.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. So yeah. So that did occur. And yeah, and then the crypt opens up, and there's like black smoke that goes out, whoo.

G: Yeah. They take cover. And then the Yellow-Eyed Demon-

C: How did the demons even get past the devil's trap? Like, I get that you let all of them out, but how do they cross still?

G: There's like a shot, where like, the devil's trap has been uprooted because of the strength of the demons.

C: Oh, okay.

G: Mm. Whatever. [laughs] Literally, who give a shit. [both laugh] Anyway, it's revealed that this is a devil's gate, a door to Hell, and it has just been opened. So there's demons coming out all the time. And Dean realizes that the Colt is the Colt, so he's like, "[gasps] We can kill the Yellow-Eyed Demon with this."

So the Yellow-Eyed Demon appears, and he flings the Colt towards himself. And then- I actually really like the actor for Azazel. Yeah. I think the way he speaks, and like, the intonation of his voice is very demonic. He's like, "That shouldn't be-" he says something like, uh, what was that?

C: Like, "Boys shouldn't play with daddy's guns"?

G: Yeah. But the way he says it was like, very like, ooh, creepy. And yeah, he- I think he fits his role well.

C: And he has the good like, snake oil/car salesman sort of-

G: Look?

C: - way of speaking too. And look. And yeah, it's fun.

G: He looks like someone who will scam you. And he will.

C: So right, he like, throws Dean against a tombstone while the other three are trying very hard to push a door closed- the crypt door.

G: Yeah. [laughing] Yeah. It's so funny- no, because like, Sam gets like, pushed around, right? And then like, Dean goes and leaves Ellen behind, and the door like, swings back open.

C: Yeah. No, yeah, Sam super ditches Bobby and Ellen at the door as soon as he sees Dean get thrown around. Like, I'm so sorry, Bobby and Ellen.

Right, so, and then the demon throws Sam against a tree, too, and he's like, "I'll get to you later," which is exactly the season one finale where like, even though Sam is his special little child, all he wants to do is monologue at Dean,.

G: This entire scene, he monologs at Dean, and it's not even that Sam can hear it, because they specifically do a shot where it's like, from Sam's perspective, and it's muffled. So it's like, what even is the point?

C: Yeah. It's- yeah. And he tells Sam like, "Oh, but I'm proud of you for winning the Hunger Games! I'm so glad you did so much racism!" Alright, dude.

So yeah, he tells Dean like, "Thank you. Because like, all of this plan shit is only working because of you. Because, you know, like there's no way that a demon can resurrect someone unless there's a deal being made." Which means like- Okay, I feel like last episode, it was clear that his thing about favorites was fake. But now, he's like "I like, would have resurrected Sam to win the Hunger Games."

G: Yeah, which is quite unfair.

C: Yeah. It is not-

G: I think who wins should win, you know?

C: Yeah.

G: Like, this Azazel guy, he's not a fair player. Surprise. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. This is a democratic process, and you are not treating the system the way it was meant to be.

Yeah, so he says specifically, "I liked him better than Jake." What? All Sam- Sam's only power is like, having bad dreams. Literally, what does he have going for him?

G: Absolutely nothing.

C: Right. Like, Azazel says in the last episode that he likes Sam because he's like, well-trained because of John, but like, Jake's well-trained because he's in the military!

G: Because he's literally a soldier, yeah.

C: He's literally a soldier. Yeah. So he says, like, "Oh, but you know, that deal is probably too good to be true. Like, you got a whole year, which is way better than your dad got. And, well, you saw what your brother just did to Jake, right? That was pretty cold. How certain are you that what you brought back is one hundred percent pure Sam?"

G: Dun-dun-dun.

C: [laughs] But then they do nothing with that. Whatever.

G: Yeah.

C: Also, yeah, I am mad that Sam can't hear any of it because I thought maybe part of the point was that Sam would overhear what Azazel said about the deal.

G: Yeah.

C: But no. When he says that, it doesn't even cut to Sam's face. It doesn't cut to Sam's face until the end of the speech.

G: Where they were just like, "Wait wait wait. We need to make sure Sam doesn't hear." So they cut to Sam. It's like, "Okay, fine, whatever."

C: So, right. He keeps monologuing. He's like, "What's dead should stay dead. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family." So true. And then- [cry-laughing] [both laughing]

G: Now, onto the funniest scene in this entire episode.

C: I-

G: I was laughing. I was genuinely laughing.

C: I lost my mind.

G: [laughing] Because this- It was like- it was the most like, "what the fuck?" scene, right?

C: It was so fucking random.

G: And then it's followed by this, which is like, another type of "what the fuck" scene. And it's like, "Oh, okay." Cool. We're doing this? Cool.

C: So, fucking John Winchester [G laughs] fucking Naruto-runs at Azazel and like, hugs him from behind - Johnzazel real-

G: Literally.

C: - and then takes him down to the ground.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, John Winchester. JDM. Like, he is here.

G: John Dean Minchester.

C: John D. Minchester [both laugh] has entered the chat. And I don't know how to describe how fucking random this was. Yeah. He's here.

G: I'll just- they just like, fucking- they roll around, hashtag Johnzazel truthing [laughs] until eventually, the- 'cause when John tackles him, he like, turns to smoke, right? The smoke re-enters the body, and the body stands up, and Dean, who is like lying by the fucking headstones, points the Colt at the demon. And then we get the iconic Dean firing the shot shot.

C: Yeah.

G: And I mean, it's pretty cool. Like, we get the-

C: Good for Dean.

G: Good for Dean. This is- I mean, you've seen this before, haven't you?

C: The shot? I suppose, but I didn't know it came from here because again, I thought Sam was gonna be the one to kill Azazel.

G: Yeah. But eventually, the demon dies, obviously. And then- [laughing]

C: Oh, also, Bobby and Ellen managed to close the door. Whatever.

G: Whatever. Dean goes up to John, and John is like glowing. [both laughing] He's in a skin care commercial right now, and he's glowing, and he's like, smiling serenely. And then, he holds Dean by the shoulder-

C: Yeah.

G: [laughing] And then, like, he just looks over Sam. He's in the distance. Sam is nowhere near these two. Sam is standing far away. And there's this one shot where it's like, two of them are on the side of the frame and Sam is in the middle, and it looks goofy as shit! It looks terrible. And I was waiting for him to let go of Dean's shoulder and go towards Sam, but it never fucking happens.

C: No.

G: Literally, he was like, "Even in death, Sam is not deserving of a pat on the back."

C: Yeah, and maybe he only patted Dean on the back 'cause he killed Azazel, not because he loves him.

G: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. Anyway, he walks towards the light. [both scream]

C: And also, Bobby and Ellen also smile at him, even though they both hate his guts.

G: Yeah! Bobby literally pulled out a gun at this guy. But he steps back, and he disappears into the light.

C: But like, a glitch effect. Like, his image like, glows and like, judders.

G: Yeah. They were sending him to Heaven, but there was an error. So he got set back to Hell. Unfortunately.

C: Yeah, Heaven was like, "I don't know if we want this guy?" Sad.

G: Sad.

C: Sad but true.

G: Just send him back. Send him back to Hell. Yeah.

C: Ugh, god. We got like, two like, goofy, like, glowing deaths, or like glowing ghosts going going aways in this season. I think it was just to lead up to this so you can be like, "Don't worry! The glow means he's going to Heaven and not Hell!" But like, it's stupid. So whatever.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. The funniest, funniest thing ever. So Sam and Dean are now standing over Azazel's dead body, and once more. I'm pissed that Azazel got to die with dignity with one bullet and no one even spat on him, or like, stomped their boot on his face, whereas Jake got terrible death. But yeah. They're standing over his body, and they're having a bit of banter. Whatever. Dean's like, "I'll check that off the to-do list," and Sam says, "You did it," and Dean's like, "I didn't do it alone."

G: Boo.

C: Boo. And then they talk about how John climbed out of Hell. Whatever. And Sam asks where Dean thinks he is now, and Dean says, "I don't know." Like, was this what the point of "Hope is kind of the whole point" is? Like, is it supposed to like, be here?

G: Ugh. Who cares? [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: No, I think maybe a little bit. Because I mean, it's like, going into the light, "hope is kind of the whole point." And then here, it's like, the same thing.

C: Yeah. So right, Sam starts saying shit about like, "I can't believe this. Our whole lives, we've been preparing for this, and now I don't know what to say." And I was like, "Is this season 1? Are we back at season 1?" Like, whatever. [both laugh] And Dean's like, "I know what to say. That was for our mom, you son of a bitch." Azazel still gets the dignity of "son of a bitch."

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. Okay.

G: Anyway-

C: Also, this whole time, all I was thinking is like, "Where did Bobby and Ellen go?"

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: Like, they're just sitting on the ground as Sam and Dean have their whole thing.

G: Sam and Dean, they go to the car. And Sam is like, "When Jake saw me, he was so surprised. Like, I think he really thought I was dead." And he starts asking like, "What happened after I got stabbed?" And Dean is like, "Well, we just killed the demon. Why can't we just celebrate for a minute?" when Sam is like, "Did I die? Did you sell your soul for me, Dean?" And Dean is like, trying to deflect until Sam asks like, "Tell me the truth." And then Dean is like, "Sam- [fake sobbing]" [C laughs] And Sam is like, "How long did they give you?" And he says, "One year." Sam says, "You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?" And Dean says, "Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job." Which like, again. Fucking selfish ass. And Sam is like, "What do you think my job is? You saved my life over and over, and you sacrificed everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you." So- Did you get emotional in this scene?

C: I think I liked "And what do you think my job is?" a lot.

G: Yeah. I did like it too.

C: Yeah. But yeah, if Sam had not brutally killed Jake, maybe I'd care a bit more.

G: I think- Okay, I'll finish Sam's line, which is that he says, like, "I'm gonna get you out of this, and I'm gonna save you, no matter what." So that's what he says. And I think- I wish he was just a little bit more angry. And I know that wouldn't have been productive, and that wouldn't have been a good use of the time. But I wish there was just a little bit more resistance of like, "How could you do that?" you know?

C: Right.

G: But I understand that like, at this point in this story, that's not what they're trying to do. I mean they do it- they do the hell out of it in season 9. So like, fine.

C: Right. I mean. Maybe, if they had a like- I don't know, if Dean had a like, "You're taking this better than I thought you would," and Sam had a line like "My biggest regret when Dad died was that our last conversation was that we fought-"

G: Was a fight, yeah.

C: "We only have a year together. I'm not gonna waste it being mad at you." I feel like if they just added that in, it'd be more satisfying.

G: Yeah. But whatever. [C laughs]

Ellen comes in and it's like, back to the plot! [C laughs] Yellow-Eyed Demon is dead, but there's so many demons scattered around, and Sam says like, "Maybe one hundred, maybe two hundred. It's gonna be an army." So they unleashed an army. And Bobby's like, [both, laughing] "Well, I hope you boys are ready, because the war has just begun." [laughing] I'm an angel with a shotgun- [both laughing]

C: He literally said- that's literally what he said at the end of season 1. Like, "There's a storm coming. There's a war coming. And you're all in the middle of it." And now, a whole season later, it's "There's a war coming, and you're in the middle of it."

G: Yeah. [laughs] It's just a never-ending "Oh my god, there's something coming."

C: But it's the same thing.

G: Yeah. And then we get- because like, in this scene, Sam is in the foreground and Dean is in the background-

C: Yeah! No, this pissed me off.

G: - And then they like-

C: The camera unfocuses on Sam and refocuses on Dean.

G: Yeah, unfocuses on Sam. And then Dean is like, "Well then." And then he smiles. This is actually like, a pretty much constantly screencapped scene. Like, Dean smiling here. Yeah. I see it a lot. And it's people being like, "He just gave his life for his brother, but he's still smiling!" blah blah blah. And I'm like, "Ugh. [C laughs] Okay. Cool." [both laughing]

I'm so evil today. I'm so sorry, everyone.

Anyway, they recreate the scene from like- where was this scene from? It's season 1-

C: Episode 1, end of the pilot when Sam returns after Jess's death.

G: Yeah. They recreate that scene. "We got work to do," and then they close the lid. End of season 2.

C: Boo.

G: Boo. [laughs]

C: I don't want to be too negative, but also, not feeling it, guys.

G: Not feeling it. Never felt it- No, I did feel it at the beginning of season 2, I feel, and for a little bit in the middle. But now, right now, towards the end- I feel like, we got like, a little bit fatigued with like the themes and motifs and blah blah blah.

C: Yeah.

G: Because it was like, a little bit repetitive. And then, when it wasn't repetitive, it was just completely ignored. And it's like, "Well, why don't you do something else?"

C: Yeah. And I think we're also upset that, I'd say, the two episodes we liked the most, which are "Houses of the Holy," and then- what was it? "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things" were all hated on IMDB.

G: Yeah. But we'll discuss that- we'll get into it next episode where we talk about our overall season thoughts. So just this episode-

C: That's true. Oh, and also, Q&A, send us questions, please!

G: Oh yeah! We forgot to say at the beginning of the episode, do send us questions, pwease.

C: Pwease! I know all we've done today is be grumpy, but I promise that we'll be cool.

G: Yeah. We'll enter your questions gleefully.

C: Yes.

G: So furthermore- let's- Furthermore? Wow! Big word. [laughs] No, let's just talk about this specific episode. So what are your thoughts for this specific episode?

C: Yeah, I mean it's hard to say because of the half-hour break I took in between. Like, I feel like maybe I didn't connect the pieces together as much as I would have if I'd watched it all together. But- eh. Eh. There's a lot of weird tonal shifts with Jake's characterization, with grieving going to like, a war plot going to whatever, like it doesn't cohere.

G: Yeah, I do agree. I think-

C: [laughing] And the ghost of John.

G: The ghost of John was like, so fucking- it was like blink-and-you-miss-it too, right?

C: Right. I had no idea it was gonna happen. Did you remember that this happened?

G: I do remember that John comes back, and then like, when he shows up, I'm like, "Oh, it's this episode?" And I was like, "Well, that makes sense that it's this episode because it couldn't have been further." Yeah. But like, my god is it so fucking- yeah.

C: I mean, I would assume that this scene would be like, memed to hell because it's so funny, but I haven't seen a single post about it, and I don't know what that says.

G: The only post I've seen about it is about how his outfit this scene is the same outfit that Lucifer as Nick wears. [laughs]

C: So true.

G: So there was this one post that was speculating once that, like, maybe that guy was Lucifer. [laughs]

C: Yeah. I'll take it.

G: Perhaps. I'll take it, too. He was Lucifer, and John is still rotting in Hell. [C laughs]

G: Yeah. So Best Line/Worst Line.

C: I did really like, "And what do you think my job is?" despite how much I hate Sam this episode. I feel like- it's short, and it works very well because Dean looks like, shocked at the implication that any familial, like, obligation or love that he feels is mutual, and I think it's a good moment of like, "I know this entire fucking season has been Dean-centric, but remember that Sam is also a person who also feels the same amount of responsibility towards his brother."

G: Yeah, like, "He has motivations too. He's a human being too." [C laughs] For me, I'll start with my worst line. My worst line is, "I'll tear that sort of a bitch apart" [C screams] or whatever that was.

C: Yep.

G: Yeah, it was- I literally- I know that they kill Jake in a way that's bad, like, you know. But I didn't know that it was going to be particularly from Sam, and I didn't know that, like, it was going to be for the motivations and the reasons that it happened.

C: Yeah, like pre-meditated revenge murder.

G: Yeah. So like, when Sam said this, I really- shock of my fucking life. So I hate it for that.

C: Yeah, I think that's also-

G: What's your worst line? Let's do that first.

C: That also feels like my worst line.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, pretty much any line that's bad to Jake. Actually, maybe I'll take the "Once you give into it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn" line because it makes no fucking sense, and they just wanted to make him evil for no reason

G: For me, I think my best line is when Dean says, "My life could finally mean something," and Bobby replies, "Like it didn't mean anything before?" That one quite got to me.

C: Mm.

G: Okay. IMDB rating. I think this is gonna be lower than last episode.

C: What was the last episode? Like, 9.3 or something?

G: 9.3. Yeah.

C: I feel like people are still- I don't know. I feel like people like this, though. Maybe. I don't- I don't know- 8.9? I don't like it but-

G: 8.9? Actually, I kind of agree with you. I think this is an 8.8.

C: Mm.

G: Okay, I'm looking it up now. Holy shit!

C: Were you right?

G: No, it's a 9.4.

C: What? I'm so tired, you guys

For what?

Oh, well, people care about Dean, right? They'd probably be like, "Omg, I super cried at his monologue." Do you think that's what it is?

G: Yeah. I think people- I think maybe for the time, because, you know, most people are watching this are rating this while watching it the first time back then. So like, maybe at the time, it was good for what it was.

C: Eh.

G: Eh. I mean- oh, this says, "Disappointed."

C: Yeah? Yeah?

G: "I hate asking a question and only getting more questions as answers. I had a university professor who did this, and it drove me crazy." [both laugh] Yeah, and it's like "nobody knows whatever happens." "Disappointing and frustrating to watch an entire season with such a whimper of a climax." Yeah. So Dean selling- "I found the plot twist so out of line with the character development of Dean in the last two seasons" regarding the selling his soul. Do you agree with that?

C: No, I think Dean selling his soul is very in character.

G: I do think it's in line with his character, although I do still think, like I said, it's selfish and like, it's like, don't you ever learn, boy?

C: Yeah.

G: Like, your dad sold your soul for you, and now you're doing it again. But it does make sense for him to do it. Like, it's frustrating to watch. But he is stupid. So yeah.

C: Okay, there's another low review. There's a 5 out of 10. They said that "Do you have to go on and on with the forced sentimentality? [G laughs] Almost half the episode features either San or Dean emoting about some BS or another. It bored the pants off me." [G laughs]

G: No, I completely agree. Like, it feels forced this episode. Remember, like, that episode where they were like- the shtriga episode. What was that, right? The one where they- it ends with "I wish I was a kid."

C: Yeah.

G: And Dean was like, "If it's anything, I wish you were as well."

C: Yeah,

G: And it's like, that episode was like super sentimental, but like-

C: It worked.

G: It worked. And this one is like, the sentimentality is just screaming like, about your feelings, and it's like, well, we can show that in other ways.

C: Yeah.

G: I love that at this point in the show, we just read the negative reviews. [laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah. I don't care about the positive ones.

G: I don't care about people who give it 10 out of 10. Exactly.

G: Anyway, that's it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing the season two- well, next week, we will be discussing season 2 in general, as well as doing a Q&A for season 2, so send in your questions! Deadline September 18, 11:59 PM, Eastern Standard Time. [both] Whoo!

C: Yeah. So where are we?

G: Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts,

C: Follow us on social media. We are on Twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. And thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries- and questions- at [email protected]. See you guys next time. [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

3 notes · View notes

foxgloveprincess · 10 months

Note

Okay hear me out hear me out-

Pagan god au. The brothers Thor and Loki...obvious right but like hear me out because their characters are v different from the myths. Like? Being brothers and sons of Odin (ish.)

Loki, trickster god of magic, change, and winter. Thor, warrior god of thunder, storms, fertility, summer.

Reader, priestess of Thor, devoting her life to quietly serving him. Waking early in the morning to light the candles, to clear offerings after the appropriate time for the sacrificial flames. Lighting incense, preparing for festivals, offering soft guidance for wayward souls.

And of course, as a priestess, her life devoted to Thor, she is unwed and untouched.

And Loki...uh...er...fuck I'm sorry I ran out of thought but like! Imagine!!! God Loki taking his brother's priestess!!

Or!!! One of those traditions where a girl is selected as a sacrifice to a god. But they're selected years ahead of time so they get excellent treatment but know they're going to be killed.

And the reader, secretly, knowing she's been placed at Thor's feet to die, prays to Loki, who in so many ways represents disruption, change-true, chaotic freedom.

And then, when bound to the stone dias, blindfolded, she is taken-only it's Loki's hands, Loki's cock. Thor is furious, but Loki has claimed his prize, so the ,city will have to suffer.

I've been binging your god stories, can you tell? They're excellent and I have more ideas I swear. Some for Clint, one for Natasha, but I don't want to send you a book of rambling. Anyway thank you so much for writing what you did, I just wanted to share some thoughts I had!!

My full response is under a cut cause it’s kinda a long one. 😅

I have to say, my Avengers Pantheon is probably my favorite AU I’ve written. It combines so much of my love of Greek Mythology and soft darkness. It just makes me so happy inside to write it. And I’m thrilled when I see people love it just as much as I do. 😊

And I love this idea of the sacrifice to Thor stolen by Loki. It’s such a good dynamic for their characters and their relationship. It fits so well.

Right now, I’m working on something with a priestess reader, but she is not a priestess of Thor. It takes some inspiration from one of my favorite myths (Eros and Psyche). I can’t say exactly how far along it is in terms of percentages, but it’s around 3,000 words right now (I think?). And it has a lot of similar themes to what your idea has, if your squint. I’m really excited to finish it and share it.

In my AU, I do have an idea for Thor and the object of his affection. Not sure I’ll say exactly their storyline. But LOKI!!! How could I overlook Loki?!? He fits the whole pagan god archetype so well—mischievous, hedonistic, flawed. My brains gonna have to rumble around that thought………though I just had a little spark of idea, perhaps inspired by another favorite Greek myth….I shall have a think on it. 😄

As for Natasha, I kinda have a headcanon (is it a headcanon if it’s your own story?) that, especially for the first two stories, she kinda helps pluck the strings and plays matchmaker for Tony, Steve, and Bucky on their quests to claim their loves. I don’t know what kind of reader she would have, or Clint for that matter. I don’t usually write for him alone. I can write for Natasha alone, but if Clint’s involved, they’re a package deal. But I’d love to hear your thoughts on them!

Never hesitate to send me all the rambling you want. I love talking about things with people. It makes me so happy to interact with followers/readers and I’d love to know where your mind takes you with this AU. Thank you so much for making my day with this lovely message. 💜

#✨rachel replies✨#i love nonnies #the avengers pantheon

1 note · View note

sortasirius · 3 years

Text

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me. Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based. In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place. Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!” Bruh. The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode. You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season). Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here. Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone. He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else. That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit. This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this. That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS. AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all. Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this? I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20? AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half? Nothing really happened? Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around. It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it. The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery. Truly, that is the only thing. It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper got a week or so before the finale. She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right? It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc. The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.” Uh. Where are they? And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So. Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

???????? That’s the end if it? They don’t need to be discussed after this??? It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too? Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay? Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else. They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else. Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here. What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right. Weird as fuck. Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas? My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene. Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back. Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it. Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad. It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway. He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here). Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying. My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven. The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago. We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread). The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here. Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here. Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions. Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was. None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why? Why lie to all of us when we have questions? Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense. Simply? Warner Brothers is absolutely massive. These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs. They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha. It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him. He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids. It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then.

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram. It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other.

My theory? They didn’t know. They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all? Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so. I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God. I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read. He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that? Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys. Why would he get involved? He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is. He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam. I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to. So what changed? What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious? CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South. It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And? They don’t care. They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here). They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line. And you know what? To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what? They warned us. I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network. I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want? Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy. In fact, to the people trashing them? You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb. Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them. The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this, Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

#my writing #my meta #supernatural #spn #spn finale trash fire #MY MANIFESTO IS DONE

3K notes · View notes

starwarned · 2 years

Text

@carryon-countdown 2021

Day 8, 2 December: Wayward Son

rated T, 815 words, general tags: blood drinking, scene remix, baths, hair washing :D

Read below the cut:

BAZ

“Go away,” I say to Simon, half-slurring. I’m still drunk. “I don’t want you to see.”

Simon stubbornly stays right next to me, having just finished undoing the last button on my shirt. It hangs open in a wet pink wave and I want nothing more than to rip it off and never see it again.

“Too late for that, mate,” Simon says.

He’s right. He is. And he’s stubborn enough that he’ll stick around.

And I don’t have the energy to stop him.

The most I can do is turn slightly away from him so he can’t see the details of the carnage. I don’t want him watching me suck down birds like a man deprived of water. (Am I? Deprived? Lamb made it feel that way, certainly.)

Once I’ve finished drinking down the last of the birds that Shepard brings us and dropped it into the tub, I stare down at the pile of carcasses, feeling sick to my stomach. The blood helped, but my fangs are still out and I feel disgusting for letting Simon watch.

He’s been standing next to me the whole time, watching silently. When I wipe my mouth on the back of my hand like a fucking toddler, he steps in towards me and carefully — carefully — places a hand on my cheek. I wonder if he’s touching dried parrot blood right now. Crowley knows I’ve never been this messy while feeding in my life.

“Would you like to take a shower? Or a bath?” he asks.

I’m sobering up, but I’m just buzzed enough still that I think that’s a great idea. I nod. “Bath.” I spell away the dead birds (and it takes me two tries, but I get the spell right).

Simon helps me out of my suit and my ruined shirt. He throws the shirt away when I prompt him to. Perhaps I should be ashamed of being only in my pants in front of my boyfriend (who I’ve never been this undressed around, unfortunately) when he’s helped me out of my trousers, but I’m not.

“Do you want to— uh, take those off?”

I shake my head. “No,” I murmur. “They could use a good wash.”

Simon laughs, but I’m not sure it was a joke.

But he turns on the water and makes sure it’s hot before helping me into the hotel tub. The water’s the perfect temperature and the tub is larger than some I’ve been in, so I surprisingly fit. I press the back of my head against the wall and close my eyes.

I feel Simon’s hands on my head.

“Here,” he breathes, pushing slightly.

I obediently dunk my hair under the water and come back up to find Simon squeezing hotel shampoo (disgusting) into his palm. He rubs his hands together then looks at me with the silent question in his eyes.

I nod. One day of using hotel soaps won’t ruin my hair. Maybe it won’t look good tomorrow, but it hasn’t looked good this entire bloody trip so at least I’ll be consistent.

All thoughts of how terrible this trip has been fly out of my head when I feel Simon’s fingers comb through the hair on the side of my head. I lean forward and tuck my knees up, resting my chin on them, so that Simon has more space to work the shampoo into a lather.

I think Simon’s still upset about everything that happened tonight. He’s breathing sort of heavily and sometimes he slides his fingers through my hair a little too sharply. I don’t mind the tinge of pain.

“Simon,” I say softly, turning my head so my cheek is resting on my knees. His hands fall away from my head.

He hums in response.

“Simon, are you…?” I trail off. I know what I want to ask — or at least, I know why I’m trying to ask. I’m scared he’s done with me. I’m scared he’s been done with me, but especially now that he’s just watched me kill and drain a dozen birds, helped me out of my clothes because I couldn’t manage it myself, and washed the blood and dirt and grime out of my hair.

“Relax, Baz,” he says. He doesn’t seem to mind that I didn’t finish my thought.

Simon washes out the shampoo by holding his hand against the top of my forehead to block out any water from getting in my eyes and pouring cupfulls of bath water down my hair. He combs conditioner into my hair and does the same thing.

I feel too sleepy to be doing this, but eventually Simon helps me out of the tub and hands me a towel. He looks like he wants to say or do something else, but he instead just pats my hand and leaves the bathroom without another word.

I hear the door click shut.

#fic #my fic #coc #coc 2021 #carry on countdown #lauren's coc works #writing #my writing #carry on #simon snow #simon snow series #baz pitch #snowbaz #carry on countdown day 8 #coc day 8

28 notes · View notes

ghostdrew22 · 3 years

Note

Can i get a draco x reader where the reader is obsessed with the yule ball but unfortunately she gets into a accident so she in a wheel chair for a few days and draco likes the reader so he makes her day memorable by picking her up and making her dance like the scene in twilight.

Requested: Yes Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader Warnings: a bit of angst i guess, swearing, insecurity, an injury, asshole!theo nott Summary: Draco x reader where the reader gets injured before the Yule Ball and Draco swoops in to make the night memorable for her.

WORDS : 2451

Not going to lie, I struggled a bit with this one and I ended up focusing more on the build up than the actual scene but I hope you like it because I’m quite happy with the way it turned out.

Lyric snippets I used are from “High School Sweethearts” by Melanie Martinez and they’re not in chronological order, I honestly just put them in randomly.

Anyway, love you all,

jean <3

<~>

“Y//N, I’m bored.” Draco grumbles as he sits down on your lap- resting all of his body weight on you and trying to annoy you.

You grunt at the action but get comfortable regardless- propping your chin up on his shoulder and resting your arms around his waist like you usually do when he sits on you for fun. “Well, we could go over plans for Friday.”

“If I have to hear you talk about that damn ball one more time I swear to Merlin I’m going to kill myself in the Black Lake.”

“Promise?” You ask perkily and he lifts up one of his hands to flick your head, “Sorry!”

You both laugh and he rolls off of you and into the seat beside you. “Okay but seriously, I’m bored.”

You laugh and shake your head as you get off the couch, “I’m going to do my muggle studies homework in the library- if you come along then when we’re done we can do whatever you like.” You offer your best friend and he tilts his head to the side as he considers your offer before grinning and jumping off the couch.

“You’ve chosen some very bad words.”

“You also have to listen to my Yule Ball ideas.” You add and he groans.

“That’s not fair-“

“Take it or leave it.”

“Fine.” He mumbles with an eye-roll as the two of you walk out of the Slytherin commons and toward the library.

“And damn it, if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart”

“If you cheat, you will die, die”

“So I was talking to Theo and he basically suggested that we wear matchin-“ As you and Draco walk toward the library, and you relay all of your thoughts regarding the Yule Ball to him, you come across Theodore Nott. Your date to the Yule Ball- technically your boyfriend considering the fact that you’ve been flirting with each other for weeks- shoved up against a wall with another girl’s lips on his.

You and Draco freeze in the hallway and take in the scene- trying to decide how best to react. Draco takes a step forward- ready to defend your honour- but you’ve already yanked the girl away from Theo by her hair and swung your fist straight into his face.

“You must accept that I’m a little out of my mind”

A crackling sound is heard followed by the shriek of your voice- “You filthy piece of shit!”

Theo stumbles backward then grips his bleeding nose in shock- obviously not expecting you to have had such a strong hook- “You bitch!”

“I guess your mother and I have something in common then.” You spit back and his eyes widen in fury as he regains his balance and walks toward you.

 “What the fuck did you just say?”

“I know that it’s dark and lonely in there for your two single braincells but I feel like the quip was quite straightforward. You are a son of a bitch.” You grit out with venom lacing your words and Draco sucks in a large breath from behind the two of you- watching the scene unfold and deciding that it’s best to let you handle it.

Theo laughs coldly and runs a fist beneath his nostrils to wipe away some dripping blood, “This is exatly why I didn’t make things official with you, you’re fucking psychotic.”

“Oh please, you’ve got to have something better than that.” You scoff and roll your eyes.

“If you can't handle the choking, the biting The loving, the smothering 'Til you can't handle it no more, no more Go home”

“You know what? You’re right.” He sniffs and bends down a little lower so that you’re both eye level- just so that he can patronise you. “You’re clingy, bitchy and honestly I could do a lot better than you looks-wise. You make me want to bash my head into a wall and the only reason I asked you to the Yule Ball, and flirted with you, was to get Daphne Greengrass’s attention.”

“Fine, since I make you so goddamn miserable we can end all of this here.” You crane your neck and shrug, “If you can’t handle me then you can fuck right off.”

“I will!” 

“Theo-“ Draco calls out to the fellow Slytherin, perhaps hoping to talk him out of the stupid decision he’s about to make, but Theo’s having none of it.

“Oh, sod off!” Theo shouts back as he walks away from you and Draco and gives you both the middle finger.

You take a moment to breathe before the adrenaline runs out and the searing pain in your fist comes rushing at full force. “Ow, crap!” You exclaim as you hurriedly grab your bag from off the floor and start running toward Madame Pomfrey.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Draco shouts from behind you as he tries to run with you.

“Run faster!” You shout with a giggle as you turn to stick your tongue out at him. Then it happens.

You turn back to watch where you’re running, but it’s too late and before you know it, you’re tumbling down one of the many flights of stairs that graces Hogwarts.

~~~

“You’re such a dumb shit.” Draco mumbles from beside you with a chuckle.

“I know, shut up.” You snap back at him but you can’t hide the slight smile tugging on your lips.

After your beatdown fight with the stairs, you got carried to Madame Pomfrey’s and had to be treated for your fist injury as well as the ones you sustained from your tumble. She was quick to give you a potion for pain and immediately got started examining you- deducing that you’d sprained one of your legs and hit your head, but not hard enough to contract a concussion.

So now you’re sat in one of the beds with your leg hanging above you in a cast, a bandage wrapped around your head and one wrapped around your fist. Madame Pomfrey walks back with a wheelchair and gives you a stern look as she gently unhooks your leg and lays it down on the bed.

“Now, you’re going to need to use this for a week, then after the initial week I will examine you again and either remove your cast or put you on crutches.”

“Wait, a week?” You furrow your eyebrows and she nods, “But the Yule Ball is in three days.” You frown.

“You won’t be able to dance but you can still have a nice time.” She offers you a wayward smile and you nod faintly with a thin smile- trying not to think about how the night you’d had perfectly planned out for weeks is suddenly coming apart before your eyes.

She helps you into the wheelchair and then her and Draco have an exchange in which he promises to get you to dinner, and back to the dorms, in one piece. Then before you know it Draco is wheeling you out of the ward and toward the Great Hall, but you’re not particularly hungry and instead want to lie down.

“Draco?”

“Hm?”

“Do you mind just taking me to my dorm? I’m not in the mood to eat.”

He stops abruptly and peers his head round your shoulder so that you can see each other, “You’re not hungry? It’s apple pie night.”

“I’m not in the mood for apple pie.”

“Uh oh, what’s wrong?”

“You mean besides the fact that I technically just got cheated on and then landed myself in a wheelchair, leaving me injured and dateless three days before the Yule Ball?” You raise your eyebrows and he laughs, “Nothing really.”

“Okay that’s fair… You want to talk?” You shake your head in response and he nods silently as he thinks. “Okay, how about I bring food up to your dorm and we can sit and eat it in silence together instead?”

“I can do that.”

So Draco does as you ask, despite it being a very long trip for him, and drops you off in your dorm room before collecting dinner for you both and returning to join you.

“Give me passion, don't make fun of my fashion”

You finish up your dinner with a laugh as Draco shakes his head at you.

“That’s a ghastly dress Y/N.” He says as he looks at the y/f/c dress you’d originally picked out for the Yule Ball- before you realised that the cut was too small and wouldn’t be accommodating to your hips.

“Hey!” You gasp and toss a pillow at him as you both laugh, “Don’t be rude.”

“I don’t have that setting.”

“I noticed.” You grumble and sigh as you fall back against your headboard.

“Are you sure that you’re okay?”

You look down at your fingers as you fiddle with them and make a thinking face, “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay- not knowing, I mean.” He reaches out for your hands and encapsulates them in his own, “What he did was shitty, it’s not your fault and none of the things he said about you are true. But it’s okay to be confused between anger, sadness, relief-“

“Relief?” You raise your eyebrows up at him in question with a smirk, “Why would I be relieved that he called me a clingy and psychotic bitch?”

“I-“

“I mean maybe that’s arousing for someone with a degradation kink like yourself but I found that quite demeaning.” You tease with a wide grin at the sight of his frustrated and annoyed features.

“You know I was going to offer myself up as your new date but-“ He trails off as you cut him off.

“I’m sorry! Please go with me?” You whine and he laughs.

“Since you’re begging…” You throw another pillow at him and he raises his hands up in surrender, “Okay, okay! I’d love to be your date to the Yule Ball.”

“I know you would.” You smile proudly.

“Pansy will just have to deal.”

~~~

“You can't be scared to show me off and hold my hand”

“Draco, are you sure this isn’t too much?” You peer your eyes up at him- referring to the dress his mother had tailor made for you.

“Y/N, my mother was more excited than you when I told her that we were going together and she could send you dresses tfor you to try- it’s nowhere near too much.” He reassures you with a chuckle.

“Thank you so much, it’s truly exquisite.”

“No, thank you.”

“For?”

“Giving me the opportunity to take the prettiest girl in our year out to the Yule Ball.”

“I don’t remember convincing Cho Chang to lower her standards to yo-“

“Why do I bother?” He mumbles to himself and you giggle.

“Thank you, and you look great too.”

“I know.” He smiles smugly before walking behind you so he can push your wheelchair. “Now let’s go in so that I can show off my incredible date and best friend.”

“If you think you can be my one and only true love You must promise to love me”

After an hour of you and Draco sitting by a table- eating, laughing, observing how ridiculous everyone looks on the dance floor- you start to feel an immense weight in the pit of your stomach, a reminder as to why you’re sat on a chair instead of dancing the night away with your date, and you have to look away from Draco to hide the tears that are pricking at your eyes.

He notices the change in your demeanor and furrows his eyebrows in confusion, trying to figure out what exactly changed your energy so quickly- then his eyes scan the room and land on Theo dancing with Daphne and a wave of realization hits him like a freight train. He clears his throat to drag your attention toward him and you swallow hard before plastering on a fake smile and meeting his eyes. “You know, she doesn’t look as good as you do.”

You tilt your head to the side in confusion for a second before registering that he’s referring to Daphne. “Oh.” You look back at her and Theo, “I really want to believe you but it’s kind of hard to do that when I’m staring straight at her holding the guy that picked her over me.”

“Bu-“

“It’s okay, really.” You give him a wayward smile, “I think I see why he likes her and not me, she’s just better.” You shrug before continuing, “There was some merit in Theo’s words that day, I am a bit much too handle and I guess she just isn’t.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” Draco furrows his eyebrows at you, “There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re not too much Y/N, you’re just enough and he’s a fool not to see what an incredible person you are.”

“Drac-“

“I love you. And not like best friend love, like you’re my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life with you love.” He interrupts you with his confession before he loses the nerve, once again, to tell you how much you mean to him. “And I know that we’re still young, it sounds ridiculous of me to say something like that so confidently but it’s true and I just know it.”

He takes a moment to breathe before continuing, “You don’t have to feel the same way, I honestly don’t expect you to, but I want you to know that I plan to love you forever whether it be as your best friend or more.”

“You’re such a sap.” You finally breathe out with a soft smile on your face once he’s done, “I love you too, you fucking idiot.”

“You’re so bloody rude.” He grumbles out with a grin, “But you’re still the only one for me.”

“That I am.” You laugh out with a smile. “I’m sorry that I got myself injured, we could be having our first dance right now.”

He goes silent for a moment before a grin sneaks its way onto his face suddenly, “Who said we can’t?”

“What do you mea-“

Before you can even finish he’s standing up, snaking his arms around your waist and delicately pulling you up off of your wheelchair and into his arms. You gasp at the sudden movements and struggle to find balance in his arms but he does the work for you and helps you rest one arm along his while he takes the other hand in his own fingers and holds you up by your waist- with your feet resting on his. “Is this okay? Are you comfortab-“

“It’s perfect.” You cut him off with a content sigh and a smile as you start to sway back and forth gently.

“You’re perfect.”

“I know.” You giggle.

“Cocky.” He scoffs before dropping his lips down to meet your own- making you heave another content sigh against his lips.

“Merlin, It was about time you disgusting lovebirds got together!” You hear Pansy utter from somewhere behind you and drop your head into Draco’s shoulder as you both laugh at her comment.

#draco #draco malfoy #draco x y/n #draco x you #yule ball #draco fluff #draco angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco imagine #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy angst #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #theodore nott #daphne greengrass

176 notes · View notes

katymacsupernatural · 3 years

Text

In His Eyes

Dean Winchester x Reader

1000 Words

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo and @spngenrebingo

Squares Filled: Santa’s Helper!Reader(Christmas) Playing Pretend(Genre)

Warnings: Body Insecurities, pre-smut, no actual smut, lingerie

Summary: Feeling a little insecure about the present she’s found for Dean.

It had to be the most cliche Christmas present there was. And you truly hated buying it. But Dean was so hard to shop for, and you were running out of time. Taking the black and red shopping bag, you shoved it under your coat, ignoring the rolling eyes of the cashier. Heading out of the store, you rounded the corner at just the same time as Dean.

“Great timing,” he exclaimed, holding up his hands full of shopping bags. “I just finished. How about you?”

You nodded, and he looked at the two packages in your hands. “That’s all?”

“I ordered more online,” you hedged. “Can we go?” The package inside your coat was driving you crazy.

“Sure,” he agreed, studying you, knowing you well enough to know when things weren’t adding up. “Stop for some hot chocolate?”

“Always.”

As soon as you arrived back at the bunker, you left Dean at the map table, heading straight for your room, ready to dump the package deep where Dean wouldn’t find it. “Y/N?” He called out, stopping you before you could toss the burning package out of your way.

“Yeah, Dean?” You didn’t even turn around.

You heard the thud of his bags hitting the table before he turned you to face him. “You okay?”

Nodding, you gave him a reassuring smile. “Just tired.”

His hands rubbed your hips, coming close to brushing the bag under your coat as he tugged you closer. “Why don’t you go rest for a little. I’ll make my famous stew, and then we can watch whatever Christmas movie you would like. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.” Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you pulled from his grasp, rushing down the hallway and stepping into your room. Shutting the door, you pulled the slinky bag from underneath your coat, tossing it on your bed like it was on fire. Staring down at it, you wondered what on Earth had made you decide to buy it. Your heart hammering, you pulled the silky material out of the bag, laying it out on the bed. The bodice of the lingerie was silky red, topped with fluffy white trim. A wide black satin sash split the bodice from the lacey red torso that showed way too much skin. It barely skimmed your thighs, with a silky red thong underneath. Red thigh high stockings and a hat matched the outfit. It was sexy but seemed stupid at the same time, and you weren’t sure you could even force yourself to wear it tomorrow night. You’d probably look hideous, and Dean would laugh. Mad at yourself for even buying the thing, you shoved it into your dresser before Dean called out that dinner was ready.

Dean gave you the perfect evening. His stew was amazing, and you settled into the crook of his arms to have a movie marathon. Pasting a smile on your face, you pretended to have the time of your life, but the lingerie set in your room kept haunting you. Dean kept glancing down at you, brushing his hand up and down your arm. “Sure you’re okay?” He asked once again. “You’ve been awfully quiet. You’re never this quiet during Home Alone.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him again. “Shopping always makes me tired.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead before you stood up and headed to bed for the night.

Almost twenty-four hours later you were locked back up in your room, staring once again at the lingerie set. Today had been perfect so far. You had finished wrapping all of your presents, placing them under the small tree you and Dean had picked out earlier. The rest of the day you spent with Dean. Baking pies, going and looking at Christmas lights. Just spending time together. It had been absolutely perfect. But now, it was time for your present to him, and you hadn’t had enough whiskey in your eggnog to bolster your courage.

“Okay, I can do this,” you whispered to yourself. Reaching into your nightstand, you took out your emergency flask, taking another shot of courage. “He’ll love it.”

Before you could change your mind, your flannel went flying over your head, your jeans landing with a puddle on the floor. Your bra and underwear quickly joined them as you tugged on the tight babydoll. It cupped your breasts perfectly, giving you an extra push. The thong came on next, and you tugged on it until it settled perfectly under the lace. The stockings were a pain to roll up your legs, but soon they covered your calves. The hat was the last part of the outfit, tilted to the side to showcase your carefully curled hair. Your heart was racing as you ran your hands along your sides, the lace material different against your skin.

Tossing your old clothes into the dirty hamper, you turned just as the door opened. “Y/N, I was wondering if you wanted to watch another...Holy shit,” he muttered, his eyes growing wide as he took in your outfit.

Immediately the blood crept to your cheeks, as you fought against covering yourself up. You were too exposed for your liking. “This is...uh,” you stuttered.

“Freaking hot as hell?” He exclaimed, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. “I’ve never thought a Santa outfit would look so good on anyone. But I was wrong. Very wrong.”

Your fingers toyed with the lace hem of the babydoll. “Actually I’m Santa’s Helper. He decided you’ve been good this year, and you deserved whatever you wanted.”

He stepped forward, his eyes traveling up and down, and all of your fear and insecurities faded away. Dean always made you feel better about yourself, and in his eyes, you felt pretty. His hand brushed against the silk of your bodice. “You. Santa has to know the only thing I’ve ever wanted is you.”

With those words, he took your Santa hat off, tossing it to the side before pushing you gently down onto the bed.

Dean/Jensen Tags: @acortez82 @acreativelydifferentlove @adoptdontshoppets @a-girl-who-loves-disney @akshi8278 @bi-danvers0 @cap-just-said-language @colette2537 @deansgirl215 @flamencodiva @hamiltrash1411 @its-not-a-tulpa @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @justanotherwinchester @just-another-winchester @karouwinchester @keikoraventeller @krys198478 @librarygeekery @magssteenkamp @misspygmypie @mlovesstories @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @mrspeacem1nusone @nothinbuttrouble2 @ria132love @ruprecht0420 @screechingartisancashbailiff @sortaathief @superseejay721517 @squirrelnotsam @team-free-will-you-idjiot @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @torn-and-frayed @tricksterdean @wonderfulworldofwinchester @woodworthti666 @beabutterfly987

Forever Tags: @aditimukul @alexwinchester23 @algudaodoce03 @amanda-teaches @andreaaalove @artisticpoet @atc74 @be-amaziing @camelotandastronauts @caswinchester2000 @cpag7 @chelsea072498 @closetspngirl @deanwanddamons @docharleythegeekqueen @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008 @esoltis280 @tatted-trina6 @foxyjwls007 @gh0stgurl @goldenolaf25 @growningupgeek @heartislubbingdubbing @heyitscam99 @hobby27 @horsegirly99blog @imsuperawkward @internationalmusicteacher @iwriteaboutdean @jayankles @jensen-gal @justsomedreaming @just-another-busyfangirl @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @linki-locks11 @littleblue5mcdork @lowlyapprentice @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @mogaruke @monkeymcpoopoo @musiclovinchic93 @nanie5 @percussiongirl2017 @plaid-lover-bay25 @roonyxx @ronja-uebrick @roxyspearing @samanddeanmyheroes @sandlee44 @shamelesslydean @simonsbluee @sillesworldofwriting @sgarrett49 @spnbaby-67 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spnwoman @superbadassnatural @thatcrazybookwormgeek @thewinchesterchronicles @voltage-my2dlove @vvinch3st3r @whimsicalrobots @winchester-writes @zombiewerewolfqueen

#spnchristmasbingo #spngenrebingo #dean winchester x reader #supernatural x reader #supernatural reader insert #katy writes #spn fanfic #dean fanfic #y/n #reader insert

136 notes · View notes

thebountyfucker · 3 years

Text

Three's a Company

18 + ONLY - NSFW

Embo/F!Reader/Bossk

This one has been sitting in my drafts for a while but I got bored so I finished it. Enjoy!

Tags: PiV sex, anal sex, DP, Embo's tongue, use of a vibrator, some violence.

Here's a link to my masterpost

The lights were dim, the music low and sultry. A Zeltron woman danced on a table wearing nothing but a scanty bodysuit. The scent of booze and bar snacks filled the air. This was unlike the Guild Headquarters that you were used to; you had only been once before, and the place was usually aflutter with the conversations of bounty hunters and mercenaries. Now, the place was rather reticent. The hunters and mercs were still around, sure, but their attention was drawn elsewhere. And by elsewhere, it usually meant on a pair of tits or a wayward bulge.

You, yourself, weren’t much of a dancer, but you were something nice to look at. Your job was, quite literally, walk around the place and drum up the sexual hunger. You could take a client or two, but it wasn’t a requirement. Thus far, no one seemed entirely interested. But that didn’t bother you.

You strutted past a table, not paying too much mind to who was there, until you noticed that you were being waved to. You approached, putting on a sultry smile, and leaned against the table. Staring back at you was a Trandoshan man - one of the Guild Leader’s sons, Bossk, if you remembered correctly - and a rather grumpy Kyuzo. Bossk, who had his arm wrapped around the Kyuzo’s shoulder, gave his friend a jostle.

“Are you entertainment?” Bossk asked, his long tongue flicking out to wet his lips. You nodded slowly.

“Sure am. What can I do for ya?” You leaned forward, accentuating your chest with a smirk.

“You see, my buddy here-,”

“We are not friends.” The Kyuzo interrupted.

“-well, it’s his Life Day-,”

“It is not.”

“-and I was looking to help him get laid.”

“I do not need your help getting laid.” He shrugged Bossk’s arm off, much to Bossk’s dismay. The Kyuzo crossed his arms over his chest and slumped in an odd little pout. Bossk rolled his eyes.

“Obviously you do, or you wouldn’t be here! Come on, Em… they weren’t worth it anyways.”

You watched the two interact, entertained. You had not been expecting this when you came over, but if you were telling the truth, this was the highlight of your rather boring night.

“I do not know what stories you are concocting, but there is nothing wrong.” Em tipped his large, circular hat down to cover his face. You sent Bossk a glance, and he shook his head. You eased onto the bench beside the agitated bounty hunter, and rested a hand on his thigh.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I am fine. I would be better off if I was left alone, though.” He growled lowly, and you retracted your hand.

“I’m sorry…”

“It is not your fault.” He turned to glance at Bossk, who was watching the Zeltron table-dancer disinterestedly.

“I’m sure the bunks are much quieter, if you’re looking for some peace.” You offered Em, and he nodded at this.

“Yes… that would probably be best.”

You scooted off of the bench and moved away, allowing Em the space to leave; you knew it wasn’t any of your business, but you hoped that somehow he’d have a better night. Only, that hope was quickly dashed.

Em moved to stand and exit the booth. The movement caught Bossk’s attention, and he let out a hearty laugh.

“Go get her!” Bossk pulled his hand back, and gave Em a hearty smack to the ass - it was likely meant to be a cordial gesture, akin to those athletes gave to one another. But you watched the way Em’s eyes flickered with rage, and Bossk knew in that moment that he had messed up. He moved away, but wasn’t quick enough to escape the swift kick to the chest. Bossk slammed into the back of the seat, coughing and hissing as he grabbed at his chest. Nearby patrons turned to see what was going on. Em straightened, brushed off his skirt, and waded through the crowded floor toward the bunks. You rushed to Bossk’s side.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Good.” He croaked as he rubbed his chest. You were surprised he wasn’t doubled over in pain. The kick looked like it was intended to cause some damage, maybe in the hopes that this would deter Bossk from bothering Em again. Bossk seemed sufficiently deterred, though, refraining from chasing after his ‘friend’.

“Are you certain?” You pressed a gentle hand to his chest, feeling for any broken ribs. Despite the force of Em’s kick, there seemed to be no broken bones. That was good.

“Yeah. Guess I was pressing his buttons too much.” Bossk muttered.

“How long were you pestering him?”

“... All night.” Bossk admitted, reaching for the glass that was sitting on the table.

“Why?”

“Rumor had it that he was going through some sort of break-up. We need him on his best game, and I was trying to hurry along the healing process.” Bossk shrugged, his voice slowly losing the wheeze that the kick had given him.

“I see… perhaps I could help with that.” You patted Bossk’s leg. “I’ll be back.”

You got up and weaved your way through the crowd, your sights set on the hall leading to the bunks. The Zeltron table-dancer was stepping down, only to be replaced by a Theelin burlesque dancer. The sultry music slowly shifted into something a bit more lively, and the crowd seemed to perk as well. You paid this no mind, though, as you slipped down the hallway.

You stopped at a door labeled 'Embo' and pondered. Bossk had called him Em, but maybe that was just a nickname. At the same time, it was possible that this 'Em' and 'Embo' were different people. It was a big galaxy after all. Deciding to risk it, you knocked and heard a husky 'come in'. You slipped inside.

Em - or Embo, rather- was sitting on the large bed, grumbling and drinking something out of a metal goblet. He hardly glanced up, but acknowledged your presence with a sweep of the hand. You sat on the end of the bed and met his gaze.

"Are you alright?" You asked, taking care to keep your tone soft and cordial. He scoffed.

"I assume Bossk sent you?"

"Yes and no. He told me that you weren't feeling so great but it was my decision to come." You replied, transfixed by the sight of his mouth. Previously hidden by a bronze mask, he sported dozens of wicked, carnivore-esque fangs. Long and sharp, you knew they could do some serious damage. You weren't sure why, but the thought aroused you. You ignored the warmth building in your cunt.

"He is delusional. There is nothing wrong." Embo replied, his golden gaze flicking to yours, noting the sudden, and potentially odd, fixation on his mouth. "You seem to have a staring problem."

You blinked and shook your head, an embarrassed tint marring your face. "I don't mean to. I've just… never seen anything like it."

"Mhm." Was all he said as he took a sip of his drink. A rivulet of the purple booze trickled down his lips, and his long, snake-like tongue flicked out to lick it up. Oh, there was that twinge in your cunt again. "Why are you still here?"

"I came to offer my services." You muttered in response, your mouth cotton-dry. He quirked a browridge, intrigued. "I was hired to take care of the Guild's guests. Of which, you are one. If there are any desires I can fulfill, you only need to speak them."

His gaze trailed down your body, as if he was inspecting a work of art; his gaze lingered on the swell of your breasts, and the curve of your hips… but he didn’t reach for you. He hardly said a word as he set his goblet aside and waved you off dismissively.

“I want nothing from you.” He replied, though his tone betrayed otherwise. You crawled up onto the bed, slowly slinking toward him, your heart pounding in your chest. He didn’t cower from your approach, nor did he move to push you away; rather, he responded with a stubborn glare. He was a tough nut to crack, this one… but you know you’d get to him. No man could resist your charm… or your cunt.

You parted his legs, crawling into the newly freed space and planting yourself in between his legs. You rested your hands on the mattress on either side of his hips, and leaned up to look him in the eyes, mere inches from him. He didn’t falter, his gaze burning deep into your soul. A shiver prickled at your spine, and you fought the urge to move away.

“Don’t play coy, sir.” You whispered, saturating your tone with desire. For him. For what he hid beneath his layers of skirts. For that wicked tongue. Your hungry eyes found his lips, and you pressed even closer. “I know that you desire me. It’s okay to admit it.”

“And if I do not?” Embo hummed, still resisting, yet not pulling away. You faltered for a moment, trying to find the right rebuttal. Certainly, he wanted you. Now, how could you get him to admit it? “Is it so hard for people to leave me alone?”

You broke your act at this, pulling away to give him the space he seemed to long for. You sat back on your butt, watching him, waiting for him to make a move. He nonchalantly reached for his goblet, and thrust it at you.

“Bring me another.”

You looked at the goblet, and then at him. “Uh… yes sir.”

You took it and scuttled out of the room, holding it with all the care in the galaxy. You figured he wouldn’t be too keen on you dropping it or scratching it in any way. You expertly dodged any interlopers as you swept toward the bar. You set the goblet down and pushed it toward the tender, who met your glance.

“Embo?”

“Yessir. Give him whatever he was drinking before.” You rocked on the balls of your feet as you watched the tender pull out a large bottle - it was green with little gold accents, with a wide, circular base and a narrow neck. He poured out the purple liquid, gave it a few swirls, and then handed it back to you.

“Don’t let him drink too much more of this, okay? This stuff is potent.”

You nodded in understanding and hurried off towards Embo’s room, trying to hold the goblet as steady as you could. You knocked, but didn’t wait for an answer, and slipped into the room. In the time you had been gone, Embo had shed his numerous layers and had put on a silk robe. He was leaning on his bed, as he had been before, though now he looked much more content. You wondered if his drink had finally kicked in.

“Here you are, sir.” You handed him the goblet, and bowed your head respectfully. He bowed his head in response, and took a small sip, humming appreciatively. You eased back onto the bed, and he gestured to you.

“Have you ever had zhizhi wine, pet?” He asked. You shook your head.

“No, sir.”

“Open your mouth.”

You did as you were told; he tipped your head back and poured a small stream of wine into your open mouth. The wine was thick - disarmingly so - and tangy, though the sting of alcohol was nowhere to be found. The wine warmed your body as it went down, and though you couldn’t describe why, you yearned for more. You reached for the goblet, and he pulled it away from your grasp.

“That would not be wise, pet.” He told you as he cupped your chin and tilted your head back down. “You humans do not process it the same way we do. Just wait. You will know why I cannot allow it soon enough.”

You thought Embo was talking a load of shit and being a selfish prick, but it wasn’t long before you understood what he was talking about. You could feel the buzz of the alcohol on the edges of your consciousness, despite you only drinking one sip. You let out a snort, then a giggle, before covering your mouth with your hand.

“What the fuck?”

“I did tell you.” Embo hummed as he leaned back, setting the goblet aside; his dusty green skin had flushed a brighter green as the alcohol worked its way through his system. You tried not to stare, but you noticed, through a crack in his robe, that he was not wearing anything underneath. And that it seemed that he was getting excited… You decided that it would be beneficial to try again.

You slipped between his legs, feeling the warmth of his thighs against yours, and reached up to play with the neckline of his robe. His large hand rested on the small of your back in response. You supposed this was good news.

“Sir, I don’t intend to be rude but… you look like you could use some attention.”

“Perhaps I could.”

“Could I… untie your robe?” You asked, your cunt throbbing at the prospect.

“Not until I see you first.” He responded, the hand on your back sliding up until it found the zipper holding your bodysuit closed. He guided the zipper downward until it couldn’t go any further, and you leaned back to give him the right angle to undress you. He peeled the bodysuit off your body, watching with rapt attention at the skin that was slowly exposed to him. You helped him pull it the rest of the way off of you. He tossed it off to the side. His ravenous gaze trailed down your form, taking in every inch of your soft, human skin.

“May I…?” You asked, leaning closer to him; the heat which radiated from him was akin to that of a furnace. Sweat began to bead on your brow. But your interest in what he had underneath his robe far outweighed the temporary discomfort of sweat. Besides, you had a feeling you’d be sweating a lot more soon.

He wrapped his large hand around yours, and directed it to the loose knot which held his robe closed. You swiftly undid the knot, and watched as his robe fell open. His chest was lean but strong, and peppered with scars. But this wasn’t what interested you. No, what interested you was his cock - half-hard and already longer than a human. You reached out to touch it, watching for any indication that he wasn’t interested. He gave you none, and you wrapped your hand around it.

A low, sharp hiss worked its way from his mask as you slowly and surely stroked his cock. His cock hardened in your hand, lengthening even further, and you idly wondered if he’d be able to fit inside you. He threaded a hand in your hair and guided you closer to him.

“Mmm… you are so lovely…” He purred as he leaned down to nuzzle your neck. You stroked him steadily. His hands slid down to the small of your back, pulling you flush against his chest; you straddled his thigh, grinding your cunt against his leg as you stroked him. “Mmm… you are wetting my thigh, little pet. Do you desire more than this?”

“Yes.” You breathed as you reached up to cup his cheeks. You pressed your forehead to his as his hands gripped your hips.

“Do you need preparation?” He inquired, and you glanced down to his cock - there was no way it’d fit without some proper foreplay to loosen you up. You slowly nodded, and he leaned you back onto the mattress. He rusted around in his drawers, and produced a small, thumb-sized vibrator. It buzzed to life, and he drew it around your clit. You hissed.

“I didn’t - I wasn’t aware that you knew of human anatomy!”

“I am well aware of human pleasure-spots.” He chuckled as he rubbed the vibrator along your swelling clit. Sharp sparks of pleasure shot through your body, igniting the fire in your belly. You tensed, and he purred. “Does that feel good, little pet? Hm?”

“Yes…” You whined as he drew the tip of the vibrator up and down along your clit. Your breaths came out as strained gasps as your pussy drooled onto his bed. He let out a hum of appreciation, drawing his finger up and down the glistening seam of your pussy.

“Very wet… let us see how tight you are.”

He pressed a thick finger into your pussy, slipping in to the first knuckle so he could massage the spongey membrane of your g-spot. You squirmed, grabbing fistfuls of his sheets and closing your legs around his hand. “Yes! Yes, just like that!”

He did as you told, continuing to massage your g-spot while drawing a vibrator around your clit. The tension mounted, and the fire in your belly threatened to spill over; your body went stiff, and you threw your head back in anticipation, only for him to turn the vibrator off and remove his finger.

“W-what the hell!?” You snapped, the obscene orgasm you were chasing slowly subsiding. He loomed over you, one hand resting near your head while the other lined up his cock with your yearning cunt. His head pressed through, and you stretched to accommodate it.

“Is this more to your liking?” He asked, his breath rattling through his mask. You nodded, angling your hips to give him better access. He slowly eased in, watching your face for any indication of pain or discomfort. When he found none, he continued to press in until you had completely sheathed his cock. You swore his cock had pressed up under your ribs, though you knew this was not possible. You were so completely impaled by him. You had never felt anything like it.

He gave you ample time to adjust, before slowly easing out of you. The sudden absence of his cock made you whimper, and he shook his head.

“Do not be getting cock-dumb on me now, little pet.” He stroked your hair as he eased back in, his cock hitting every sensitive spot within your yearning cunt. Your head lolled back and your back arched toward him, and he took this as a sign to continue. You both hardly noticed the company at the door.

A loud, rattling hiss filled the air, and you turned to spy Bossk standing in the doorway. Embo growled but didn’t stop. In fact, he went faster, harder, delighting in the way that your tits bounced as he did so.

“What are you doing here?” Embo muttered between thrusts. Bossk was palming himself through his pants, his tongue flicking out to wet his maw.

“Came to see if you were doin’ okay.” Was all he managed as he tentatively approached, watching Embo’s reaction for any adverse reactions. Embo ignored Bossk as he reached up to unlatch his mask; he set it down on the bed within easy reach and leaned down, his tongue snaking out to lap at your nipple. He leaned down to wrap his lips around it, his golden gaze meeting yours. Your entire body shook with a mounting orgasm, and you closed your legs around Embo’s narrow hips.

“D-don’t stop!” You cried as he pulled away to ravish the other nipple. You were faintly aware of the unzipping of a zipper, and turned your head to find the source of the noise. Bossk’s two cocks were mere inches away, hard and yearning. Embo replaced his mask.

“Lift her up…”

Embo glared but did as Bossk asked, pulling you up against his chest. The pause in thrusting pulled you from the brink of orgasm, and you whimpered. Bossk slipped up behind you, pressing his chest into your back.

“Lube?”

Embo sighed and reached over into his drawer to produce a little bottle. Bossk took it with a purr and you listened as he squirted it all over his cocks. He slicked his length and rubbed the excess along your asshole, and you sucked in a deep breath, preparing for the breach.

What you weren’t prepared for was the head of Bossk’s lower cock prodding at your already occupied cunt. You gasped, holding onto Embo tighter as you stretched to accommodate both of their cocks. You never thought you could stretch this wide and yet… Embo hissed at the sensation of Bossk’s cock pressing up against his.

Bossk’s upper cock pressed into your ass and you leaned forward to bite at Embo’s shoulder to contain the scream which threatened to escape your lips. Slowly, Bossk inched into you; he panted in your ear, his tongue sneaking out to caress your neck.

“You’re so tight. Fuck!”

You whined, leaning back against him as they both slowly started jacking their hips, their cocks sliding in and out of you in tandem. Your nerves zapped with ecstasy as their cocks caressed every sensitive inch of your cunt. At the same time, the sensation of Bossk’s cocks rubbing against the thin wall of flesh separating them was enough to make your head spin. Embo’s hands went to your tits, his thumbs brushing over your sensitive, swollen nipples. Bossk’s hands gripped your hips tight enough to bruise.

In and out, in and out, over and over again; their cocks put you in a daze as your body started to shake. Your eyes fluttered shut as they both uttered curses in their native tongues.

“Oh, oh!! I’m gonna-!” You cried out as the warmth in your belly threatened to spill over. They picked up their paces, thrusting unequally now at an attempt to usher forth your orgasm. It worked. You arched your back toward Embo with a loud cry, and a rush of fluids spilled out around their cocks as fireworks exploded within you. You felt electric. You felt alive. They didn’t stop their thrusting, chasing their own orgasms now even as your cunt tightened around them. When you regained control, you leaned forward, resting against Embo’s chest. You peppered his neck with tiny kisses.

“Are you gonna cum for me?”

He nodded, a bit frantically, as his pace became erratic. This drove Bossk closer to his own orgasm, and soon, he too was off-pace. Embo came first, spilling deep inside you with a soft hiss. This was enough to send Bossk over the edge, and he followed suit, though he was much more vocal about it. Slowly, gently, they pulled out of you, and you felt their combined cum seep out of you.

“Fuck…” You muttered as you laid back on Embo’s bed. He laid down beside you, drawing the pad of his finger over your stomach.

“Are you finished, dear one?”

You shook your head frantically, and he chuckled. “Good… And you, Bossk?”

“I’m just getting started.”

#iri writes #my fanfiction #star wars smut #smut #smut writing

17 notes · View notes

bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 4 years

Note

80s movie prompt: Geralt started his own construction company right out of high school, but its only been a year and currently its just him. He has been hired to redo the roof and siding of the Pankrats' summer cabin and is allowed to stay there while he works but he isnt expecting the Pankratz prodigal son to return from his year at Oxenfurt and (taking one look at Geralt) decide he wants to spend the summer there too. Cue skinny dipping, sunsets, bonfires, and cuddling under the stars! ❤😏🥰

(Truly nothing could be as adorable as this. I’m going to make it very long so...oops)

Geralt is 23 and Jaskier is 21 in this story

---

Geralt hears the mysterious visitor approaching before he sees them. He’s extremely confused as to why anyone is coming out to the Pankratz family cabin at all; he was supposed to be out here fixing the roof by himself for the next week. There had been a storm earlier in the month and Mr. and Mrs. Pankratz had hired him (mostly out of obligation since he’d grown up next to them) to patch up a hole poked through the roof by a wayward tree branch.

They’d promised him a week alone at the cabin to hang out, thirty bucks for groceries, and (if they were impressed with the finished product) they’d even offered to spread the word of his small business around their workplaces. So he needed to do a good job.

Someone showing up out of the blue and clearly intending to use the property is...confusing, all things considered. Geralt climbs down from the roof and makes his way to the front of the little cottage to greet the stranger.

“And then you put your arms around me And we tumble to the ground And then you say, ‘I think we're alone now, There doesn't seem to be anyone around.’“

The red convertible’s engine cuts and the radio goes just as silent. The driver, a boy maybe a year or two younger than Geralt’s twenty-three, lifts his sunglasses from his shockingly blue eyes and stares back at the construction worker.

Like two dumb, gay deer stuck in each other’s headlights.

“Uh...hi?”

“Who’re you?” Geralt asks stupidly.

“Julian Pankratz. My family still owns this cabin, right? They didn’t sell it and then forget to tell me? I always come borrow it for a week at the end of July.”

“I’m just, uh, here to fix the roof.”

“Oh. Was it that nasty storm?”

“Yeah. Tree branch. I’m Geralt, by the way.”

“Cool. Julian, like I said, but I’d prefer it if you called me Jaskier.”

“Nice to meet you then, Jaskier. I’ve been staying in the guest room but I can move to the couch if you want it instead,” Geralt suddenly offers. Jaskier seems taken aback and waves his hands in front of his face.

“Wouldn’t dream of it! I’ll take my parents’ room.”

“Oh. Yeah, that works.”

Jaskier vaults over the door of the cherry-red Mustang and Geralt tries not to gulp visibly. Why the fuck is this adorable twink wearing a crop top?! Sure, Geralt had a few of his own cutoff shirts in his bag somewhere to use when it got too hot but he didn’t want to burn his shoulders during a job, but this kid was stylish. This was as calculated as Johnny Depp’s look in Nightmare on Elm Street.

The suddenly anxious contractor licks his lips and returns to the roof. He was only here to do a job, after all. There’s really no point in watching Jaskier meander down to the beach with a towel. No point in casting a few scattered glances as the gloriously slender man removes his shirt and lays down to tan.

But Geralt can’t help himself. Jaskier is, unfortunately, really fucking cute.

---

“So my parents didn’t bother to tell you that I was working here this week?” Geralt asks. He prods the dying fire with a stick and watches as the embers catch against a new log. Jaskier is wrapped in the softest looking burgundy sweater that Geralt had ever seen. His cutoff denim shorts were fraying at the hem, just above his knees, and the construction worker had to work to tear his eyes away.

Jaskier was, for lack of a better word, incredibly pretty.

His caramel bangs were feathered and side-swept. His eyes were a bright and sparkling in the flickering light of the bonfire. “My parents don’t talk to me a lot. They’re not super comfortable with my whole, uh sexuality.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t sound surprised.”

“Would it be rude to say I’m not? I mean, I’ve been to enough gay bars to know what a twink looks like.”

“Oh so you...”

“Mhm.”

Jaskier’s smile takes on a slightly predatory edge and he slides closer in the sand, his hand fluttering up to Geralt’s knee. “Well.”

---

Three nights later Jaskier is laying with his head on Geralt’s chest, staring up at the dark sky above them. “You’re so soft,” the contractor mutters. His thumb is making slow circles on the skin of Jaskier’s upper arm.

“Moisturizer,” the younger man shrugs.

“You’re soft on the inside, too,” Geralt clarifies. “Like a fairy tale princess or some shit.”

“You’re like...hmm. I don’t know what you’re like. You’re very unique.”

“I’m just another kid who couldn’t afford college and started his own small business doing manual labor in the American Midwest.”

“You make yourself sound like a Stephen King protagonist.”

“Maybe not that tragic or romantic,” Geralt scoffs. Jaskier rolls up onto his elbows, head dangling just above Geralt’s. A pair of honey-hazel eyes blink drunkenly up at him. They may have broken into his father’s tequila stash (he can replace it later) and they may be a little tipsy.

“Oh you reek of tragedy and romance, my broody, winter-haired darling,” Jaskier giggles. He slides his nose back and forth against Geralt’s and listens as the older man rumbles happily beneath him. “May I kiss you?”

“Feel free.”

Jaskier presses his lips down against Geralt’s the world lights up around him, even in the dead of night. Oh, there’s something incredibly special about the elusive, quiet construction worker.

“Oh Geralt,” he gasps, pulling away for only a moment, “I think I might love you.”

#geraskier #geraskier prompt fill #geraskier 80's au #geraskier 80's #geraskier college au #summer lovin'#geraskier ficlet #tiffany i think we're alone now #geralt x jaskier #thank you for this adorable prompt #i loved it #and i want to turn this into a series #thoughts? would you read it?

200 notes · View notes

asktheghosthost · 3 years

Text

Homecoming

Jai belongs to @catinabag, and is used with their permission. This was a little drabble gift that kept growing until I finally decided to just finish and post it. It’s a little lengthy, hence the Read More. Enjoy!

Fog was rolling in thick that night, but it wasn't doing much to dissuade the man lumbering along the edge of the road. Occasionally, he'd glance up at a damp street sign, grunt in acknowledgement of it, and keep going. He really wasn't relying on them, anyway. It was an... instinct, a feeling that pulled him to where he needed to be. And the closer he was getting, the stronger the pull became.

"Come to the Square," a voice whispered, simultaneously at his ear and in his brain. "Come to the Square, and you'll be home..."

Home... He hadn't seen home-- hadn't had a home-- in... God, how many decades now? Time had lost all meaning to him.

He tugged his pinstripe jacket closer around him. Fuck it was cold. Wasn't Louisiana supposed to be all muggy and swampy and hot? How many more miles of this did he have to deal with? Was it even worth it? What the hell was he even doing, really--

The honk of a car horn made him turn away from his thoughts. He glared at the car, a dull yellow taxi, as it slowed to a crawl next him. The window rolled down, and a scruffy faced driver leaned over the passenger seat and called out, "Y'all need a ride?"

Standing there, arms stiffly around him, the man hesitated to say anything. "Uh..."

The driver grinned. "Tell you what, brah, if you goin' the same way I am, and it's under five miles, no charge. Lagniappe. Deal?"

The man nodded, and quickly got into the car. "Thanks," he grunted. "'Preciate it."

"No problem, no problem." Pulling away from the road's edge, the driver continued forward. "Y'all ain't from around these parts, are you? What's your name, ami?"

"No," he said, gruffly, shaking his head. "It's Jai. Ghast." He hadn't said his real last name in years. It was almost like saying a foreign word, like his tongue didn't know how to curl around it properly.

The driver let out a short, relieved laugh. "For a moment there, I thought you was gonna say 'Gracey.' Ah, there's a family no one wants any part of. 'Cause of them, most drivers won't make rounds 'round here."

Jai furrowed his brow in confusion. "They a crime syndicate, or something?"

"Non, ami. They're all dead." His grin glinted in the rearview mirror. "Now where you heading to, Monsieur Ghast?"

Go to the Square...

"Um, the Square?" Jai cringed inwardly.

Now it was the driver's turn to look confused. "New Orleans Square?"

Jai pursed his lips and his gray eyes darted from side to side. He wagered, "Yes?"

The driver's grin widened. "You in luck, ami! That's where I be headed to." The cab took off with such force, Jai was pressed back into the seat. "Ol' Gabe, he get you there tout suite!"

Jai's knuckles faded to a pale beige as he gripped the door handle. The vehicle-- and his stomach-- lurched. And then there was a strange sensation under him, or rather, a lack of sensation. It was subtle at first, hard to pin point, and then he realized what it was: there wasn't any road under them. There should have been the familiar pings of grit and gravel under the tires. A steady whoosh from below his feet. There was an eerie whistling, however, and he forced his head to turn to look out the window.

They weren't connected to the road. They weren't connected to anything. Tiny points of lights--streetlights-- barely shown through the mist dozens of feet beneath them.

"The hell! What're you doing, you crazy Cajun?!"

"Why, I'm gettin' you to your destination, of course!" Gabe cackled. Moonlight flashed through him, betraying he was transparent.

Jai let out a heavy sigh and slumped back against the seat. How had he not figured it out? "This some kind of show you put on for tourists?"

"Gotta get my kicks somehow, ami." He gave a good-natured shrug. "Besides, one of us had to let on we was dead."

Jai was quiet for a few seconds. "Fair."

The next few minutes were thankfully uneventful, and the cab touched down on centuries old cobblestone.

Jai didn't open the door right away, instead rolling down the fogged window.

Up ahead loomed a massive, white house, a plantation-style mansion. It shone like a bleached tooth, a beacon in the misty night. The imposing black, wrought iron gate ahead of it was almost easy to miss in comparison. Even easier to miss were the strange, misshapen large stones scattered across the front yard of the property.

"This is the Square?"

"New Orleans Square is the town, but this is the place you need to be. Gracey Manor." Gabe's grin shifted into a gentler smile. "Safe travels, ami. And when you see old Beauregard, you tell him Gabe Guidry says hi."

"Beauregard?"

But Gabe was gone. The cab was gone. Jai was suddenly standing outside that menacing gate. With a long, high creak, it slowly opened, gesturing he should enter.

Jai licked his lips and ran a hand back through his shaggy black hair. Graceys. The dead people.

He straightened his jacket and stepped forward, a dirt path becoming more and more visible under his black leather shoes.

Moving forward, he got a better look at the property. A cement bird bath was to his left. A small pool was in it, but was too dark to see through. Jai had a feeling he'd regret sticking his hand in.

Near the bird bath was a statue of a smug, fluffy Persian cat. This in turn was flanked by multiple tiny bird statues. Nearby were other stone animals--a duck, a snake, a few different dogs, a monkey...

Wait...

The spacing between the animals led him to look at tiny placards under each, which all listed names and dates. This was a pet cemetery!

Cute, he thought. But then it dawned on him what those larger stones were. Who has a house flanked by a graveyard?

Beauregard…

With a new sense of urgency, he bounded up the front steps and barely stopped before gripping the enormous bronze door knocker and slamming it down three times. "Open up." His throat was suddenly tight. Angry tears welled in his eyes. "Open up, you creepy bastard!"

As if responding to his impatience, the door was pulled open with such force, Jai was flung inside. Skidding, he caught himself before he could fall.

A low voice greeted him in the darkness of the foyer. “Welcome, wayward soul.” An unseen hand helped him straighten up.

That voice… Jai knew it. It’d just been so long since he’d heard it. That tightness returned to his throat.

“Beauregard?”

A man appeared in front of him, one who was simultaneously familiar and a stranger. Thin, lanky, like him, with long, shaggy hair, only shock white instead of black. Taller than Jai by a few inches, but he always had been. They stared at one another, jaws agape, eyes wide.

Jai took a couple of unsure steps forward, but the other ran to him, and then flung his arms around him and hugged him so tightly Jai thought he’d never break free.

“My baby brother!” He pulled away, only to hold Jai’s shoulders and look him over. “It’s been so long.” His voice cracked. “You… You look… so grown up.” A tiny sob-chuckle escaped him, but he was grinning.

Jai took a moment to take in some of the new details of his sibling—the pale, blind right eye, and the scarring over it that ran from brow to cheek; the bruising left behind on his thin throat, and its answer, a thick noose that hung loosely under it like some kind of macabre tie. His green coat was threadbare at the shoulders and elbows, and his purple waistcoat was slightly too long. The pinstripe slacks were all right, but his spats were misaligned.

“You look like shit.”

Beauregard laughed and wiped his eyes. “That’s fair.”

“Sorry,” Jai said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess those last few years weren’t so kind to you, huh?”

Beauregard shrugged a shoulder, not denying it, but not providing details, either. “It’s been a long time since then.”

“And you’ve just been here, in this big ol’ house, for…?”

Another shrug. “I’m honestly not sure how long now. I don’t keep track of time anymore. I know I died January twenty-ninth of 1901, at exactly 10:35 p.m. Beyond that…” He pulled out a pocket watch and flashed the face of it at Jai. It had been stopped since his time of death. “Time has lost all meaning for me.”

“So, you’ve been here…”

“Yes.”

“All this time?”

“Yes.”

“You died here?”

“Yes…” Beau was trying not to show the mild annoyance growing at the questions. “What are you getting at?”

Jai suddenly pointed at him accusingly. “You’ve been here, living here, for ages, and you ain’t never tried to contact me even once? Even once!”

Taken aback, Beau sputtered, “Well, you—Who do you think sent out the message for you, hmm? Who do you think led you here?”

“But that was just now! You’ve had literal decades! Decades! Decades that I’ve spent away from the very last little bit of family I had left!” There were tears in his eyes. “If Eulie were here…”

“Eulie is here. This was her house.” Beau looked over his shoulder at the grand staircase leading to the bedrooms above. “I’m surprised she hasn’t come down to investigate the ruckus yet. Her or Dorian…”

Jai took a tiny pause for confusion. “Is that her husband?”

“No, her son.”

“I have a nephew?” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “And you all were livin’ in a mansion! And not one of you saw fit to find me?!” Turning on his heel, he headed back to the door.

“Now stop!” Beau bellowed. A chair cut Jai off, knocking him down into it, and it scooted back to Beau. “You disappeared!” Pointing at Jai, Beau floated above the floor. “You were the one who forsake the family! You went off to who-knows-where, while Eulalie and I were dealing with our parents’ funeral expenses, and bank possessing the house, and—” He let out a frustrated groan. Slipping back down to the floor, he slowly exhaled, and started again, in a much calmer tone. “It was like you had fallen off the face of the planet. And… And I knew you were grieving in your own way. By the time we wound up here… H-How was I supposed to find you, Jai?” Beau put a hand on his shoulder, gazing into his eyes, imploring. “When you clearly didn’t want to be found?”

Turning his head aside, Jai looked away. It was true. He hadn’t wanted to be found, not at first. But when he’d found himself deep in trouble, that’s when he’d started thinking about his family and what he’d left behind. Then… Then it was too late. Far too late. You couldn’t scream for your big brother with a mouth full of dirty handkerchief, and lungs full of river water.

Jai blinked, sending tears cascading down his cheeks. “I—I missed you, Beau. I needed you. And—And I couldn’t find you. And I couldn’t face you. Not after what I’d done. I’ve… I’ve done horrible things, Beau. I…”

“Shh,” Beau shushed him. “Do you think I’m proud of this?” He gestured to the noose. “We’ve all done regrettable things, Jai.” Gripping the arms of the chair, he leaned down. “The important thing is we’re back together, eh?” He grinned his cock-eyed grin that always seemed just a little too wide. “The Ghast boys wreaking havoc from beyond the grave!”

Jai allowed himself a small smile. “You mean it? Back together like old times?”

Beau yanked him up, and put an arm around him as he led him further into the mansion. “Not exactly. Far fewer things to worry about now. I’ll give you the tour, and you can tell me everything you’ve been up to.”

“Eh…” Jai rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s a tall order.”

“Hm, we have all eternity little brother.” Beau squeezed him to his side.

#drabble #jai #fic #fanfic #short story #story #beau

17 notes · View notes

dottie-wan-kenobi · 4 years

Photo

DOTTIE’S BATFAM FIC RECS

hi!! so, no one asked for this but,,, I wanted to make one anyway! I really love the batfam a lot and I see a lot of ppl in the fandom wishing it was easier to find good fics. this is by no means all of them but they are some of my faves, generally not too fanon-y! all fics are gen/family fluff with little to no ships (which are not bat/cest).

feel free to message/ask me about triggers if you’re unsure!! and lmk if I forgot to tag anyone ❤️

---

Homecoming by Ionaperidot / @iowriteswords on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10966704/chapters/24414906

Summary: “Your son’s grave. It’s been disturbed.” In which people actually notice when Jason breaks out of his grave, and Bruce finds him before Talia does.

My thoughts: Bruce’s voice in this is seriously perfect, plus Dick, Jason, and Tim are great as well!! This fic honestly helps inform me of my Tim characterization!

---

The Wound Begins To Bleed by audreycritter / @audreycritter on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13295661

Summary: Now that Tim’s moved back to the manor, he just wants a few afternoons a week without Damian around. Funny how getting that was the catalyst for him becoming a better big brother.

My Thoughts: it makes me emotional okay it GETS me right in my HEART!!! both Dami and Tim are so so so good I can’t rec this enough

---

just hold a smile by RecklessWriter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777705

Summary: That's the thing about smiles, Dick thinks. If you flash the right one, no one knows there's something more going on inside. Five times Dick faked a smile and one time someone saw through it.

My Thoughts: Dick & others, including Tim and Cass. Dick is really good at hiding his feelings from others, and I love how in this fic, a lot of times, he’s hiding them to “protect” whoever it is

(more under the cut!)

life, if well lived by CaptainOzone

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378512

Summary: Jason wakes up from a time-travel mishap to find Thomas and Martha Wayne hovering over him. Just another day in the life, right? ...Not quite.

My Thoughts: this one had me crying like a baby!!! the characterization is great and I love CO’s Thomas and Martha

---

one shot, two shots in the night by discowing / @dykewing on tumblr, @/wlwdiscowing on twitter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871864/chapters/44792710

Summary: The New York Times ✓ @nytimes · 4h

“A Shot in the Dark” remains on our bestseller list for the fourth week in a row! Read our review of @brucewayne’s tell-all memoir here: nyti.ms/3Fs9k2E

My Thoughts: TALK ABT MAKING ME CRY. this gets me every time, and it’s absolutely worth ALL of the rereads. such a great Bruce.

---

The View From Jade by lowflyingfruit

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11329791/chapters/25359972

Summary: Being transported to the past is not the sort of thing one normally expects. But this having happened, and with no easy way back, Jason's determined to make the most of it. Though the Bat still stalks Gotham's streets, the city's crime is run by the mobs instead of the rogues. There's no Joker yet. There's no Robin. Maybe there shouldn't be.

My Thoughts: Jason & Dick, and also Bruce somewhere in there too. this is SO! GOOD! I absolutely love Jason’s voice, and Dick is so in character. plus Bruce and Alfred are awesome as well!!!

---

The Birds Who Smile by Raberba girl / @raberbagirl on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12972324/chapters/29656290

Summary: "Dark Nights: Metal" AU where Bruce adopts three of the Robins who once belonged to the Batman Who Laughs.

My Thoughts: I think this was the first fic that introduced me to Duke, actually! and while there are a LOT of characters involved, they’re all pretty great and realistic. they have their moments to shine and it’s,,, *chef’s kiss*

---

The Thing about Apples and Trees by Cdelphiki / @cdelphiki on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22192747

Summary: When Jason agreed to let Bruce adopt him, he thought that meant Jason felt happy and safe in Bruce's home. But when Jason's nightmares only increased, and his panic attacks and meltdowns started happening more often, Bruce was at a complete loss for what to do. But then, Jason finally opened up to him, and he was able to quell some of Jason's worse fears. Perhaps a midnight chat and a few hugs wouldn't fix everything, but it was a step in the right direction.

My Thoughts: this is part of a series but might be okay to read on it’s own? tho really I suggest the entire series, it’s amazing. but this fic specifically has great kid Jason characterization (and also made me cry, I think!)

---

Kitten by lurkinglurkerwholurks / @lurkinglurkerwholurks on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18194294

Summary: Bruce opened his mouth, prepared to give the unemotional, no-nonsense explanation he had cobbled together between his walk to the car and now. Instead, his mouth went dry and nothing came out.

“Bruce?”

Bruce was saved from answering by the thin cry that cut through the silence. He winced, then reached back with one hand to shush the dimpled, kicking legs.

“Bruce, tell me I did not just hear what I thought I heard.”

My Thoughts: so so so cute! plus the gangs all here!!!

---

Yes Ma’am by lurkinglurkerwholurks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004695

Summary: Jason had shuffled into the bedroom and had just finished pulling his shirt over his head when he paused, arms still trapped in the fabric. A pair of eyes glowed at him from the bed, reflecting the dim light from the hall.

My Thoughts: I also have to include this one bc it was a gift to me, and it’s so cute & angsty & just dkjsfsdjkhfksjah I love it so much

---

The D-Word by AutumnHobbit / @autumnhobbit on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9597686

Summary: "See, Tim?" Jason called over his shoulder sardonically. "Dad agrees with me."

He turned back to his food for a moment before the thought suddenly occurred to him that the Cave had gone near silent. He cautiously glanced back at the others. Alfred was still working away at stitching Tim up. Tim looked a little pale and sweaty, but he was glancing over at Jason with a look that was a mixture of concern and confusion. Bruce was standing stock-still, seemingly staring off into space.

My Thoughts: I constantly reread this when I want funny and then heart breaking Jason & Bruce feels. I always know what’s coming and it STILL GETS ME

---

baby wonder by drakefeathers / @drakefeathers on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1887807

Summary: (baby!damian AU) Bruce dies, Dick becomes Batman. But the Damian that Talia leaves in his care isn’t a ten-year-old warrior, he’s a ten-month-old baby.

My Thoughts: oh my goddd this is so good, it hurts but it’s SO CUTE at the same time??? ugh dskjfhkjsadhf

---

a hat fashioned from tin foil by discowing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356020

Summary: nightwang @karakurachou – 8 hours ago

jason todd is alive and faked his death so he could become robin: a conspiracy theory thread

Batfam conspiracy theories meet social media.

My Thoughts: !!!!!!! so good!!!! seriously one of the best social media fics I’ve ever read.

---

Bet Your Bottom Dollar by jerseydevious / @jerseydevious on tumblr and twitter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17971160/chapters/42447017

Summary: Dick's been having kind of a hard time, recently. When it boils over, Bruce is there for him.

My Thoughts: I reread this one a LOT when I need Dick & Bruce feels

---

Metanoia by AlannaOfRoses / @alannaofroses on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943249

Summary: Jason's bleeding out, Dick's overtired, and a half-serious offer turns into their new normal. Sometimes you just need somebody else around.

My Thoughts: this one was also a gift to me!! it’s got amazing brotherly bonding and it made me laugh a LOT

---

a hundred miles through the desert by acrobats

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18197330/chapters/43045388

Summary: Finding himself nearly three decades into the past hadn't been part of Jason's plans for the day, but he could manage. Having no idea how he got there, no clear path home and a recently orphaned Bruce Wayne determined to drag Jason into his search for his parents' killer - that might be a little more complicated.

My Thoughts: ughhh this is such good Jason content (and such amazing Jason voice, too) I adore it

---

oh, where do I begin? by LazuliQuetzal / @lazuliquetzal on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21988693

Summary: “No, no, nothing’s wrong,” Jason says. “We’re a-okay. Just peachy. Good times.”

“Oh,” Duke says, lamely, working himself out of crisis mode. There’s an awkward silence for a moment before he speaks up again. “Why did you call?”

“Right, right," Jason mumbles, which seemed a little out of character to Duke. His sort-of wayward brother was generally intimidating, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Uh, Dick said that you had a guinea pig when you were younger. How do you take care of a guinea pig?”

_____

AKA, not-exactly accidental guinea pig acquisition

My Thoughts: this was ALSO a gift to me but it’s so funny and sweet and there’s amazing Duke & Jason bonding so I absolutely must rec it

---

Latchkey by goldkirk / @goldkirk on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672928/chapters/51685639

Summary: or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order.

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you.

Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

My Thoughts: this is SO GOOOOD the Tim feels are amazing!!! the family interactions!!! everything! sdkjfhsjdfhksdhfajh

---

Blood in the Water by MishaBerry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734052/chapters/29037474

Summary: We all do stupid things when we are lonely, and in faraway lands, we hardly expect the consequences to follow us. Bruce certainly never thought twice about an American woman in Jaipur after one night with her. He hardly expected to see her ever again.

The universe, on the other hand, had different ideas, and the tides of time and chance brought Tim Drake to Bruce's life over and over again.

My Thoughts: this one is more AU than a lot of the others on here but it’s a lot of fun!! it has Tim & Damian & Jason feels, plus the rest of the family on a smaller scale

---

so these are just SOME, and honestly you should go and check out other works done by all of these authors!! also would like to suggest reading the fics of @renecdote , @caramelmachete , @redtruthed , @rredarrow , and @schweeeppess !!!

#batfam fic recs #batfam #batfamily #dc #fic rec #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cass cain #duke thomas #steph brown #damian wayne #i do love all of these fics but im thinking there should be more w cass and duke #both in general and on the list #i'll just have to make another one w more of their fics dkjfkdjsafh

576 notes · View notes

dcomicsficrecs · 4 years

Note

Do you have any fics with Jason just being a Bro™️? Or any with him rejoining the family after UTRH?

For the sake of this post not being too long, I am going to rec only one fic or series from an author, but all of these authors are great writers so I recommend checking their other works as well. Hope you will enjoy this fics as much as I do!

1. Jason and Damian being bros

1.1 Bet on it by Lysical

Even Damian could admit that his older siblings occasionally had their uses. __

"I need your assistance," Damian said, voice low and tense.

"No," Jason replied, and hung up.

Short but adorable story of Jason helping out Damian to hide something from their father, just like big brothers out to do.

1.2 Cracked Foundation by Cdelphiki

The last thing Damian expected to happen when he ran away from home was to spend a day crammed into a small space with Jason Todd. His father's second son was a black sheep. An outcast. An angry, insanity driven criminal who enjoyed screwing with the batfamily in every way he could. At least, that's what Damian thought. Maybe he was wrong about Todd.

Perfect hurt/comfort with a lot of family feels and Damian and Jason bodning. Bonus points: Jason actually apologizing for shooting him; exploration of Bruce’s relationships with them both too.

1.3 Good Grief by lysiabeth

“I know who you are, you know. I got my degree at GCU.” The girl says, eyes boring into Jason’s chest as if the red bat were still plastered on it, and Jason’s back stiffens.

“Right.” Jason’s teeth click together as he closes his mouth. He’s eighteen-hundred miles out from Gotham, and of all the Goddamn vet centres he could have broken into it’s probably the only one around that knows anything about his city.

WIP with 8K words so far but worth early reading and bookmarking/subscribing. Case fic, plus Damian and Jason bonding as siblings through Talia? Leviathan also plays a part in this story? Hell yeah.

1.4 Jason and the Three Terrors by Cdelphiki

One moment, Jason was peacefully sleeping, perfectly content with his life with the League of Assassins. Okay, so maybe not content content, but he wasn't unhappy, either. Then Talia woke him up at 2 am, threw three children at him, and told him to get them to America and far away from Ra's al Ghul.

What the fuck.

The last thing he wanted was to see Bruce. But with three brats relying on him and no Talia, there weren't many options for sanctuary. He just didn't expect the kids to grow on him so much in two short weeks.

A superb AU where Jason helps Damian escape League of the Assassin (against his wishes and with two unwanted additions to boot, which is half the pleausure). They aren’t brothers, stictly speaking, at the start of the fic, but become them as the story progresses.

It’s a WIP but it has 50K already and it will be so much more. I am excited with every update and I’m sure you’re gonna be, too.

2. Jason being a brother to Cassandra

2.1 Nests and Cages series by LanternWisp, Lysical starting with Needles or Pins

Jason Todd's journey back to the Batfamily. Takes place in the Frankenstein's monster of a canon I've stitched together. Each plot is rather self-contained, but the fics do flow into one another

Jay and Cass are bio siblings, and Jason’s slow return to the fold. I love this series, and I think it’s one of the greatest take on Lady Shiva being Jason’s mother too.

2.2 Didymous by Hinn_Raven

Didymous: adjective: growing in pairs or twins.

Cassandra and Jason are born twins, raised by their father to be killers. Two heads are better than one.

It’s a great AU with Jay and Cass being biological siblings.

2.3 the patron saint of the lost causes series by evanescent

Pre-Flashpoint AU based on canon what-if Lady Shiva was not only Cassandra's biological mother, but Jason's, too. Mostly focuses on Cass and Jason's relationship, and how that fact changes the dynamics in Batfamily.

It is also a great series with Cass and Jay being biological siblings and I recommend reading every fic of this series.

2.4 Rebirth by Ionaperidot

"The boy is clearly ill, and while she’s almost certain that he is, impossibly, Jason Todd, almost is not good enough. She can’t drop heartbreak on her beloved’s doorstep, and she can’t run the necessary tests when Damian is vulnerable to her father’s wrath. There’s no way around it. He’ll have to come home with her."

Unexpectedly in charge of a second son, Talia struggles to raise her children without unwanted attention from the Demon's Head.

An AU where Talia is the one who unites Cass and Jason. It also contains Damian, and he’s a little brother to them both.

3. Jason and Duke being bros

3.1 Bats are Dorks by Reah22

Duke hadn’t meant to literally trip and fall on to Jason. He really hadn’t. For the record, he blamed Steph. It was probably one of her old pranks that she forgot to take down. That, or she deliberately left it up for someone to trip over in the dark.

Just Duke and Jason, hanging out. Super nice.

3.2 oh, where do i begin? by LazuliQuetzal

“No, no, nothing’s wrong,” Jason says. “We’re a-okay. Just peachy. Good times.”

“Oh,” Duke says, lamely, working himself out of crisis mode. There’s an awkward silence for a moment before he speaks up again. “Why did you call?”

AKA, not-exactly accidental guinea pig acquisition

Absolutely adorable short story about Jason going to his little brother for advice.

3.3 rockstar au series by addiebey starting with disconnect:

jason and duke bond. dick just doesn't get it, but what's new?

Another great no-capes AU. Only two fics from the series, both under 1k, are focused on Duke and Jason, but they are so great. The whole series is, actually, though it’s not finished. I am just grateful even this much exists, but I am definitely bookmarking and subscribing it in case there will be more. Please give this series the attention and praise it deserves.

There are, alas, not many Duke and Jason-centered fics. Though there is another one I wanted to recommend, about Jason training Duke, but I can’t find it for some reason. It was short and funny, and if anyone recognizes this description, I would be glad if you told me.

4. Jason and Dick being bros

4.1 i was naive and hopeful and lost by heroics (figure8)

Clark and Bruce take in a troubled teen.

The The Fosters AU no one asked for.

It’s a part of the series which is one of the best no-capes AU I’ve read, if not the best, and it’s a great family-focused fic with a good parent Bruce. The road for Jason to become Dick’s and the rest of the kids’ brother is slow but greatly written.

4.2 To Reconcile by CasualDanger

“Babs slapped me at your funeral.” Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up. “She hated me in that moment. I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died. And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone? Because I was gone?”

Short and emotional fic where Dick and Jason open up to each other during pressing circumstances.

4.3 Five Times Dick Grayson Read about Jason Todd in the Newspaper by Engineerd

If Dick hadn’t been special ordering the Gotham City Gazette, he wouldn’t have found out for - well. Years, at this rate.

Short and very full of emotion story. I love the exploration of Dick’s almost unchanging attitude toward Jason - well, unchanging right before the last time he would read about him (or almost the last time). They’re not really close here, and won’t grow closer, but sometimes siblinghood is like that.

4.4 The View From Jade by lowflyingfruit

Being transported to the past is not the sort of thing one normally expects. But this having happened, and with no easy way back, Jason's determined to make the most of it. Though the Bat still stalks Gotham's streets, the city's crime is run by the mobs instead of the rogues. There's no Joker yet.

There's no Robin.

Maybe there shouldn't be.

Time Travel Jason&Dick focused AU! One of the best time travel fics where they actually change stuff even if it doesn’t transit to their universe - for exception of their more strong brotherly relationships.

5. Jason and Stephanie being bros

5.1 this time, the loser wins by parkerstorms

They were two sides of the same coin. They understood each other. It was nice. It was a downright relief. She’d never had a big brother before.

There’s not a lot of Jason and Steph being bros stories I have not mentioned before, but this one is one of them, and a great one too.

6. Jason and Tim being bros

6.1 Bonding Habits of Robins by GoAwayOlivia

Giving each other shit is how the bat brothers show they care. Jason and Tim do it particularly well.

It’s a funny and nice fic with exactly what’s said in the summary.

There’s a lot of fics with Jason and Tim being bros but my memorie went blank when I tried to recall. Which is not a statement about their relationships or quality of fics that depict them, it’s just sometimes my memory doesn’t work properly. This is the case with the Jason and Steph, too. As soon as I remember or discover new fics about their relationships, I am going to update this post or maybe create a new one just for the three of them. We’ll see!

7. Batfam Jason-featured sibling relationships

7.1 If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You) by lurkinglurkerwholurks

or, 5 times Jason Todd saved his siblings... and one time they saved him.

It was only by luck that Jason was still there when the bodies came crashing down the street. Bad luck, he would argue. He could hear them long before he could see them, their bodies preceded by the thunderous pounding of boots of asphalt and shouted curses. Three or four figures flashed by his little alleyway, a tight mob followed by a lone, slender figure in a streaming cape.

Summary speaks for itself. It’s a gradual description of Jason slowly coming back to the family after UtRH and starting feeling like their brother.

7.2 this is a long drive (for three robins who don't agree on much) by drakefeathers

(Bad Robins road trip AU!) Steph’s trip home to Gotham takes a huge detour thanks to Jason and Damian’s conflicts with airport security. She’s stuck driving the two brothers cross-country to reach Tim’s wedding in time.

Damian, Jason & Steph bonding road trip AU that warms your heart. Seriously, if you like any of these characters, you read this.

7.3 on a thin chain of moments and something like faith series by irnan

Jason really oughta know better than to talk to Bats.

Jason bonding with both Steph and Cass! Love it. It’s fluff and angst, which is hard to pull off together, but it works here. It also, in places, incredibly funny. I love re-reading it from time to time.

7.4 Tremor by LueurdeLaube

Nobody can tell Jason Todd that joking about his own death is not a valid coping mechanism.

Not about Jason being a bro per se but about Batfam and Jason so I hope it counts!

7.5. the lost sidekick society by redtruthed

The batkids make a group chat.

Chaos ensues.

One of the best groupchat AU for Batfam.

#Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #Cassandra Cain #Duke Thomas #Dick Grayson #Stephanie Brown #Tim Drake #Family #Siblings #Gen Fic #Batfam

160 notes · View notes

anathewierdo · 4 years

Text

Call of the Ocean Chapter 6: Dangerous Flirt

Pairing: CEO!Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Mermaid!Reader

Word count: 6592

Chapter summary: With every passing moment, Dean’s regretting just a little bit more his decision of coming back to Kansas. Luckily, amongst the bad and the ugly, there’s still some good things around him. Reality ain’t exactly rockin’, but his dreams are definitely something else.

Series summary: CEO of Winchester Auto Dean Winchester has had enough of the office life. With his father keeping him from what he wants to do, which is work on the plant floor, Dean decides to leave for a quiet life. In Matagorda, Texas, he finds something he never thought he would, a chance encounter with a mythical creature.

Call of the Ocean Masterlist

A/N: Next chapter will be posted this saturday (september 5th)! :D This series is a collaboration with @flamencodiva Text dividers madde by @talesmaniac89

Dean cleaned his hand of grease as his Grandfather Samuel was talking to Benny. Dean never noticed Castiel behind him when he turned and jumped after seeing the blue-eyed man.

“Damn it Cas!” Dean cursed. “You need to stop fucking getting close to my ass!”

“Sorry,” Cas took a step back. “So what’s going to happen? Are you coming back?”

Dean shook his head, “I only came for pop’s birthday.” Dean sighed as he began to remove his coveralls. “I’m going to start my own garage in Matagorda. I asked gramps if Benny can come along. And well— was wondering if you would come too?”

When his friend didn’t answer, Dean turned to look at him, seeing Cas’ apologetic eyes. “I have too much here, Dean…”

“Cas,” Dean ran his fingers through his hair. “I need you there, man. I need people I can trust working with me. Please?” Dean looked at one of his best friends with pleading eyes.

“Dean, you know I- I’d love to come with you, but-” Dean didn’t blame his best friend for the hesitation. As far as Cas knew, his project in Matagorda may not even pick up, and Dean knew that asking him to move all the way there for him was a lot.

“Just, think about it, please?” Dean adjusted his tie before placing his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “I’ll see you at Pop’s birthday party right?”

At this, Cas did smile. Grateful at not being more pressured. He pulled Dean close in a quick hug. “And miss the opportunity to spend more time with The Wayward Winchester? You know I wouldn’t miss it.”

Dean gave him a smile as he walked with his Grandfather towards the elevator leading back to the offices.

“I take it Castiel is giving you a hard time?” Samuel smiled looking at his grandson.

“You can say that,” Dean sighed. “Pop’s are you sure you’re okay with me making my own garage out there?”

“Of course I’m sure!” Samuel let out a chuckle. “This only proves that you’re your own man. You’re not scared of getting your hands dirty and working hard.” He placed a firm hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Son, your dad just wants what’s best. But I think he’s forgetting that you want what makes you happy. And working on cars, using your hands, that makes you happy. Not sitting in a stuffy office. I know Sam is not going to be CEO; he loves being a lawyer. But If anything I can find someone internal. I mean there is always Garth.”

“Garth?” Dean raised his eyebrows at his grandfather. “Pops I think you have better chances with Mick than Garth.”

“What do you like about Mick?” Samuel asked as they got off the elevator and made their way towards Samuel’s office.

Dean sat on one of the leather chairs as Samuel closed the door. Dean took a quick look around and smiled at an old family picture, it was one of the few times that he saw his father proud of him. It was when he graduated with his mechanical engineering degree, while Sam got his pre law degree.

“Mick is knowledgeable, has a good report with other companies,” Dean cleared his throat. “And Mick also has close ties to our British branch.”

“This is true,” Sammuel placed his fingers to his lips in thought. “I’ll think about it. Why don’t you get out of here and spend some time with your brother and his girl. You did good work down there. I need to call Crowley and yell at him for trying to swindle us.”

Dean chuckled. “Give’em hell, pops.”

Walking out of his grandfather’s office, Dean thought of going back down with Cas and Benny. Maybe he missed another one of Crowley’s sucky deals, or maybe he could jump into one of the suits again and help out on another car. As he pressed the button, he turned, not noticing the brunette, who was with his father, walk in.

“I was wondering when I could corner you,” her voice interrupted Dean’s thoughts as he turned around. “Lisa Braden,” she stuck out her hand for him to shake noticing his questioning look.

“Uh… Dean Winchester.”

Lisa smiled softly, “I know we are in a very sticky situation. Just so you know, I don’t think your father is treating you fairly.”

Dean huffed, “Great. What’s the gossip, sister?”

“Just that you are running away from your responsibilities as CEO,” Lisa shrugged. “I think there is something more to it than that.”

“Of course that’s the part that is running around,” he looked at the floor number on the elevator. Just a couple more floors… “If you don’t mind me asking, Mrs. Braden, what-”

“Miss actually, I’m not married.” She offered him a soft smile. “I’m sorry, go on.”

“No, no, my mistake. So, Miss Braden, what is your interest in Winchester Auto?”

“Really, it’s just more of a merger really,” she looked at her manicured nails. “My company is Lucifer Industries. We make car parts for different cars around the world, much like you do. Although being under your company would help sales. Especially for our Archangel Engine prototype.”

“Huh, is that so?” Was all Dean managed to say. Lucifer Industries didn’t have that great of a reputation, but they did good. But he couldn’t come up with a good reason as to why they would suddenly want to merge… Or better yet, why his grandfather would agree to consider to merge with them.

“I think we could be very good friends,” she smiled. “You can take me to your grandfather's party, just to keep your Dad happy.” She placed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Don't you think?”

“Yeah, I don’t think so, Miss Braden. I’m not looking for a date.”

“So you would rather be miserable at a party, and have your father ruin a good night? I’m not so bad. I’m sure if you get to know me, you’ll see.”

Dean was about to come up with a witty answer when the elevator dinged, signaling they were on the plant floor. He stepped out of the elevator, but put his hand on the side to prevent the doors from closing, and gave Lisa a smile.

“Miss Braden, I’m sure you’re not so bad. But parties are not always better with a date. Being with my friends is enough. Have a good day.”

“But…” Before she could finish, Dean was out of the door and removing his tie. Getting into his Impala he revved up the engine and made his way towards Sam’s house. During his drive, Dean couldn’t help but be angry at his father. He knew what he was supposed to do, but that didn’t mean he was going to. As he parked the car he gave a slight groan. His mother’s car was in the driveway.

“Could this day get any worse?” he muttered as he got out of the car.

Walking up the pathway, Dean used his key to open the door and walked in.

“You missed lunch,” his mother said from one of the couches in the living room. She didn’t look upset, though.

“I’m sorry, Mom.” Dean kissed her cheek. “Pop’s and I were looking into the engine Crowley sent in with the guys on the plant floor. Time kind of got away from us.”

“You always lost track of time whenever you got near that floor. Don’t worry, honey.”

“I have some things to sort out in the office. Sign some papers and then head back to Matagorda after the party. Benny’s coming with me…” he trailed off unsure of how his mother would take the news.

His mother only nodded, not surprised. “Ok… and how did things go with your father?”

“The usual,” Dean shrugged. “He expects me to take some exec from Lucifer Industries to the party. But that’s not happening.” Dean grabbed a beer from the fridge. “But, how did you and Jess do in wedding planning? When is the big day for them?” Dean changed the subject, knowing that his father would probably show up just out of spite.

“She actually wants to take it slow,” Mary smiled fondly, “and we already have so many ideas. The wedding is going to take place in about a year, not too many guests. Jess wants friends and family, although Sam might convince her to invite a few more people…” she smiled happily before grabbing a piece of pie and setting it in front of Dean. “We have to start looking for a venue, and think about what color everything’s going to be and the cake and Jess’ dress, but the good news is, since the wedding is not happening ‘til next year, we have time to make all those choices… oh! Darling! Maybe they could get married near your new house in Matagorda! Just imagine! Your brother and Jess getting married with the ocean as-”

“Mom,” Dean gave her a look interrupting her. “You realize this is Sam and Jess’s wedding right?” He winced when she reached out and smacked lightly the back of his head.

“Of course I know that!” she assured, “but when Jess hears about it, I’m sure she’s gonna love the idea.”

“Yeah,” Dean grumbled. The last thing he needed was his father at his new house picking it apart and causing trouble where he was going to set up his new business. “Mom, you know that I’m going out there to get away from Dad, right?”

“But imagine how happy Sam would be if he got married so close to his big brother… and Jess, don’t you think she deserves a beautiful wedding near the sea?”

“Oh mom,” Dean groaned. “Don’t guilt trip me into this, please! I’m already here sucking it up when he tries to stuff me in an office and --”

“Dean,” Mary’s tone left no room for argument now, “I’m going to pitch the idea to Sam and Jess. And if they decide to have the wedding there, even if you and your father still have issues by the time the wedding rolls around, I’m sure you can control yourselves for a day. Especially at Sam’s wedding.”

“Okay, okay,” Dean raised his hands in surrender. “If Jess and Sam want to get married at the beach house they can. I give up.” Pushing the unfinished pie away he got up and grabbed his beer. “I lost my appetite, I’ll be out back if you need me.”

Without looking at his Mother, Dean made his way out to Sam’s backyard. He sat in one of the lawn chairs and stared at the pool. He heard the door open again, and it wasn’t long ‘til he felt his mother sit next to him and put her hand in his.

“Honey,” she began softly, “I understand why you wouldn’t want your father to go to Matagorda. I really do… I just… I got excited. Your brother’s getting married, for god’s sakes.”

“And I’m happy for him, Mom,” he sighed. “I really am. But I also don’t want Dad to ruin the one piece of happiness I have. He already pulled me away from you guys and it sucks.” he scoffed, “why can’t he see that I love working and I’m not some trust fund brat who will run the company to the ground?”

This time, Mary stayed quiet, and gently took hold of his chin to make him look at her. When she was sure she had his attention, she spoke.

“He does see it, baby.” She held onto his face before he could pull away. “He does. And that’s exactly why he wants you to take the job… But, you don’t want it. And you know he’s not used to people telling him no,” she tried to joke with him, “I won’t tell Sam and Jess about Matagorda. There are plenty of places around… I’m still going to visit you sooner or later, though.”

Dean sighed as he looked at his Mother, “Tell them. Just… make sure you keep Dad on a short leash until then. I’m okay with the wedding there. But I won’t stand for him pissing all over my new business.”

“Alright,” Mary smiled softly at him, then leaned to give him a kiss on his forehead “I have to get going… I love you, ok?”

“Love you too, Ma,” Dean kissed her cheek. “You’re welcome anytime at Matagorda. Dad on the other hand might find himself being thrown off the cliff by my house.”

Dean watched as Mary waved goodbye just as Sam walked out. Dean turned towards the pool, chugging the rest of his beer. The brothers stayed silent with Sam grabbing a beer for himself and Dean from the outside fridge.

“You okay, Dean?” Sam handed Dean the bottle of beer he had grabbed for him from the patio fridge.

“Define okay, Sam,” Dean sighed as he took a big chug. “Am I okay that you’re getting married? Yes. Am I okay that Pop’s is happy with me starting my own garage out in Matagorda? Yes. Am I okay with Dad using me as a way to have Pop's company merge with Lucifer Industries? Absolutely-fucking-not.”

Sam took a sip of his own beer “Okay, so okay is too general.” Sam turned to his brother, “I’m not happy with the merger either. I don’t trust Ms. Braden.” Sam breathed. “There’s something about the contract that doesn’t sit right with me.”

“What?” Dean raised an eyebrow as he looked at Sam.

“Yeah,” Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I’m pouring over the contract and my eyes hurt. But I need to make sure we aren’t getting into trouble here. I don’t know what dad was thinking.”

“He probably wasn’t,” Dean rolled his eyes, “Lucifer Industries is, at best, not very trustworthy. Why would Dad and Pops even consider doing business with them?”

“Beats me,” his brother shrugged, “hopefully I can convince them not to do anything if I find something fishy.”

“I have a feeling Pop’s doesn’t know anything about this,” Dean looked at Sam. “If he did, he would have mentioned it on the plant floor.”

“You think Dad’s doing it to get you to come back?” Sam took another sip of his beer.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Dean shook his head. “But it’s too late. Benny’s coming with me to Matagorda. And if I can convince Cas to come, I’ll be set to have business rolling.” he looked down at his hands. “And… I was wondering if you…”

He definitely had his brother’s attention with that. It wasn’t everyday that Dean asked for help, or anything at all, for that matter. Sam arched an eyebrow, suddenly looking nervous.

“If I…?”

Dean took a long sip of his beer, practically chugging it before closing his eyes and turning to his brother. “Be the lawyer for my start up?” Dean breathed. “You won’t have to move and you won’t have to leave the plant. But I don’t trust anyone else Sam.”

Sam just stared at him for a couple seconds, blinking. “That’s it?”

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged. “I don’t really trust anyone else. And you’re the best lawyer I know.”

“Dude, of course I’ll do it! You don’t even have to ask!” Sam chuckled, relieved. He took a sip of his beer and turned back to his brother. “Speaking of doing something for the other…”

“Yeah, Sam? You know I’ll do anything you ask. You’re my brother.” Dean smiled.

Sam smiled. And Dean knew that smile. The jackass was about to pull off something stupid.

“Dean Jerk Winchester,” Sam began, stepping in front of his brother and actually dropping on one knee, the stupid smile getting bigger and barely containing his laughter, “would you do me the honor of being my best man at my wedding?”

“You want me to be your best man?” Dean looked at his brother. He wasn’t sure he deserved to stand next to his brother on his big day. “Do I get a special ring and a big celebration?” Dean gave Sam a shit eating grin. “Yes I’ll be your best man, Bitch! Get up and come here!” Dean pulled Sam up for a hug.

Dean pulled back and placed his hand on Sam’s cheek giving him a smile and a small slap.

“Proud of you Sam,” Dean muttered. “You definitely have everything figured out.”

Dean pulled away and looked over the pool. The moon reflected over it’s water as the two brother’s stood side by side.

“Ya know… it’s been a while since… since the whole issue with Cassie… maybe you could go back in the field…”

“Maybe I’ll find someone out there,” Dean took a deep breath. “Maybe I won’t. I mean… I don’t mind being a bachelor.” Dean’s relationship with Cassie ended up with a drunken night, and a small trip to jail. Just a few hours after Cassie turned down his proposal. “I mean, I guess I just was meant to be alone you know? Everyone always did say I was a big playboy.”

“Cassie’s a bitch,” Sam growled. “If I had known you were going to go after the guy she cheated on you with, I would have joined you.” Sam finished his beer and grabbed his brothers empty beer bottle. He made his way to the small bar that was by the pool, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Grabbing two glasses he filled it two fingers full and walked over to Dean.

Dean just shrugged, and took the glass of whiskey from Sam before giving him a cheeky smile. Taking a swig of his whiskey, face turning serious, his eyes focused on the water again. “It hurt a lot. Still hurts a little bit, if I’m honest. That’s time I’m not getting back. And it sucks… But it’s in the past, Sammy. And I think I’m better off without her. At this point, if it happens, it happens. And that’s it.”

“Yeah, fuck her.” Sam agreed. “But, let’s celebrate! I’m getting married, you’re moving to better things! And no matter what, we’re always going to be brothers Dean.”

“I mean, I’d be worried if we suddenly weren’t-”

“Shut up! You know what I mean, Jerk!” Both men laughed.

“Jessica is lucky to have a guy like you, Bitch,” Dean raised his glass for Sam to toast. “To you and Jessica,” Dean smiled. “I hope you guys have a life filled with love and happiness.”

Sam tapped his glass against Dean’s, “And to you. I hope you find what you’re looking for in Matagorda.”

“It’s weird, man. But I have a very good feeling about it.” Dean hissed after taking a sip of the whiskey. The amber liquid leaving a slight burn. “When I saw that house and that town, there was something just pulling me there. I just know it.”

“Well, let’s hope for the best.”

Finishing his whiskey, Dean licked his lips and sighed. “I should head to bed. I have to head in tomorrow and I’d rather try to avoid Dad at all costs.” Dean placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Send a copy of the contract to my office. I’ll take a look and if anything I’ll show it to Pop’s.”

“Sounds good to me”

As Dean was walking away, he stopped by the patio door and smirked. “Just so you know, I’m thinking about a circus theme for your bachelor party. Night, Sammy.” Dean rushed inside running up the stairs to his room.

“You better be joking about that, you asshole!” Sam shook his head as he finished his whiskey and headed inside and to bed.

Dean chuckled hearing Sam call out. Running a hand across his face, he sighed. It was really late and he was starting to realize just how tired he was. With a sigh he began to undress and stayed in his boxers. Lifting the covers he climbed inside and settled in. Turning to his side, he closed his eyes. His mind drifting to his house in Matagorda and the possibilities it held.

The sea breeze caressed his face as he looked out at the horizon. The sounds of the waves crashing against the cliff gave him a sense of peace. He looked down and noticed he was dressed in a pair of khaki slacks, a white button down shit, and (color Jess is using for her wedding) vest. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he turned to look at the scene.

The house was decorated beautifully. Right by the shore was a gazebo with a white carpet leading up to it. He could see Sam nervously pacing as the guests began to arrive. Dean was about to say something when a splash and a call for help turned his attention towards the ocean. He could see a woman with Y/C/H hair that had streaks of lavender and gold intertwined in it.

The scene changed as Dean found himself staring at a young woman as she walked along the shore. Her Y/H/C hair flowing in the wind behind her. Something about her made his heart pound in his chest. He couldn’t stop himself from walking towards her. It was like two magnets being pulled together.

“Who are you?”

“My name is--” the wind began to blow heavily.

A large storm cloud seemed to appear out of nowhere. He watched as the woman’s face gave a look of horror.

“Don’t let them take me, please,” she tried to reach for him.

“Wait!”

Dean watched as a large creature used it’s tentacle to grab at the woman. He tried to reach out to her, only to find his hand being grabbed by someone. Turning around, he found himself face to face with Lisa

“You two can never be,” Lisa pulled him farther back away from her.

Dean pulled against Lisa as he tried to make his way to the woman. He had to help her. She had to stay. He couldn’t reach her as the creature pulled the woman into the water. He gasped as he saw her body change and she had a familiar lavender tail.

That morning, all Dean could think about was the dream. Why was he having them? Did they have any deeper meaning? He remembered reading about Matagorda having a legend about mermaids, but he always thought them to be childish.

“Morning Dean,” Jessica’s chipper voice cut through his thoughts.

“Morning Jess,” Dean smiled at her. “I need to head to the office. Tell Sam to just drop the contracts on my desk. I’ll be holed up doing some last minute stuff before Mick hopefully takes over.”

“Okay,” Jess walked up to him. “Dean, you know you can call in sick if you want to.”

“It’s okay Jess,” Dean offered her a soft smile. “I have stuff I gotta do. Although it might be a half day for me.”

Giving Jess a kiss on the cheek, he made his way to his car and drove to the office. On the drive there, he tried to come up with a way to keep from seeing his Dad. Reaching the office Dean took great care to stay out of sight as he made his way to his office. He even decided to look at the secretary and ask her to get his coffee for him just this once. He never really liked ordering anyone around. But he didn’t want to bump into John either. He even made sure to let the secretary know he was going to be holed up in his office.

“Yes, Mr. Winchester,” she smiled at him. “I will make sure no one disturbs you and just let me know where you’d like me to order your lunch from and I can have one of the interns retrieve it for you. Your coffee should be here in about twenty minutes.”

“Has Pop’s come in yet, Andrea?” Dean looked at her.

“I will call his secretary and find out for you, Mr. Winchester.” She smiled at him. “Mr. Winchester?”

“Yes, Andrea?”

“I--” she bit her lip and played with her fingers a bit. “I was wondering if I could ask you something.”

“Of course you can,” Dean nodded, “shoot your question”

“Benny mentioned that you are opening a shop in Matagorda, Texas,” she paused and took in a deep breath. “And I was wondering if I could please join you in your new venture. I am more than willing to take a pay cut if needed. I can assist with appointments and take calls as well as order anything needed for the garage--” she rambled.

“Woah! Andrea, slow down for a bit, will you?” he chuckled, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eyes, smiling softly, “You didn’t actually think I was going to separate you and Benny, did ya?” he took his hands back, and gave her a cheeky smile as he shrugged, “figured you guys are a package deal.”

Andrea smiled shyly. “I just had to ask… you know, just in case.”

“Andrea,” he began, “you are more than welcome in Matagorda.”

“Thank you,” she smiled. “I’ll go ahead and call Mr. Campbell’s secretary for you and see if he’s in.”

Dean smiled and nodded before entering his own office and closing the door. Walking to his desk he sat down and looked over what was needed for the day. It wasn’t long before he called in Mr. Mick Davis into his office.

“How are you, Mick?” He smiled.

“Good, thank you, Dean,” Mick said as he took a seat, “heard you caused quite the havoc yesterday with your old man.”

“It was the usual Mick, you know how he is,” Dean chuckled. “I want to thank you for stepping up. But I have something I want to tell you.”

“You know it’s not a problem, my friend. And we all know, if John Winchester has ever been anything, is a force of nature,” Mick smiled, before rubbing his hands together, “now, tell me, what have you got for me?”

“I was talking with Pop’s and I have a proposition for you,” Dean placed his elbows on his desk and rested his head on his folded hands. “I want you to take over for me here. You are going to get a pay raise and you will be assistant CEO getting paid as CEO.” Dean looked at Mick.

“How would that work, exactly?”

“Well…” Dean leaned back. “I’m going to open up a shop in Matagorda, Texas. I need you here over seeing the contracts and keeping our clients happy. I will be testing out some new specks in the new shop as well as run a regular auto shop.” Dean took this time to stand up and pace in front of his window overlooking the city. “Look, you are going to get paid as a CEO, to everyone else, it will seem as if you are CEO under me. But really, you are CEO.”

“Wow,” Mick laughed, “so basically- oh wow, Dean. Are you sure about this? About me?” a look of uncertainty appeared on the british man’s face. “Please don’t get me wrong, lad. Thank you so much. But,” he paused, looking at Dean with awe, “are you absolutely sure that I’m the right guy for this job?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way Mick. You have a good relationship with clients and you know your way around the tricky contracts.” Dean sat on his desktop and smiled at Mick. “Just know that for a while people will still think I'm the CEO. Pop’s will make an announcement soon but it might not be for a while. We’re trying to sort something out with Lucifer industries.”

“Alright.”

“Sam is bringing me the contract to look over today,” Dean ran a hand across his face. “Something doesn’t sit right with me about it.”

“Yes, Nick is as slippery as an eel,” Mick sighed. “I will make sure that things run smoothly. Will I need to talk to Mr. Campbell today?”

“I have to call him and we need to iron out the details tomorrow. Will you be going to the party, the day after tomorrow? Dean asked as he went back to sit behind his desk.

Mick took that as his chance to leave. “I will most definitely be there.” Mick smiled at him. “I never miss a chance to have fun at one of the old man’s parties”

“I’ll talk to you later Mick,” Dean smiled as he gave Mick a wave.

With a few moments of silence Dean began to pour over the work he had to do. By noon, Andrea had come in with his lunch and he was grateful for the double cheeseburger and fries. But Dean couldn’t stay in the office all day. Eventually he needed to use the restroom.

Carefully opening the door, Dean looked around to make sure the coast was clear. He was grateful that he was able to relieve himself in peace. His father seemed to be out of the building. With a smile he washed his hand and began whistling ‘Ramble on’ on his way back to his office.

“Well, hello there, Dean,”

“Son of a bitch!” Dean exclaimed as he jumped at the sound of the voice.

He turned around to come face to face with Ms. Braden. Adjusting his tie he cleared his throat and smoothed out his hair.

“Ms. Braden,” he greeted dryly.

Based on the smile she was giving him, she had either decided to ignore his tone, or she was clueless at his nonexistent will to interact with her right now.

“I take it you thought about my proposal for your Grandfather’s birthday?” she placed her hands behind her back as she got closer to him. Her breasts brushing against his arm.

“Hmm,” he smiled, containing himself from rolling his eyes at her, “As a matter of fact, I did. Your answer is still ‘no’, Ms Braden.”

Lisa gave him a small pout, “Dean,” she gave him a flirtatious smile. “Why won’t you give me a chance?” she followed him into his office and closed the door behind her as he made his way to his desk. “You never know. We might have a very,” -- she walked up to him and let her fingers dance along his chest-- “Good time.”

Dean looked down at her fingers as they danced along his chest. He chuckled to himself as he looked at the woman before him. Licking his lips, he couldn’t help but appreciate the way she was flirting. He smiled up at her, a small inkling to try and play with her filtering in his mind.

“A good time, huh?” Dean grabbed at her wrist and gazed deeply into her brown eyes. “What is your idea of a ,” -- he leaned in to whisper in her ear -- “good time.”

“Well,” she tossed her hair back as she climbed on top of his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck, “you’d have to say yes to find out…” she leaned in close to his ear. Lisa smiled as she heard Dean’s breath hitch, “But I can guarantee it’d be worth your while…”

“Oh?” Dean chuckled slightly as his hands began to caress her thighs, her skirt hitched up to her waist as he felt himself get hard. “And is this how you close deals with other companies?” he raised an eyebrow at her.

Lisa began to move her face dangerously close to his. Her lips were barely touching him when the door to his office burst open.

“Hey Dean? I think something- Oh jesus fucking christ!”

Lisa jumped off of Dean and adjusted her skirt. Dean cleared his throat and fixed himself up just as Sam was giving him a bitch face.

“Knock next time,” Dean replied cockily. “Ms. Braden, my answer is still, a very hard no.”

“We’ll see,” she whispered for him to hear before she made her way to the door. “We’ll speak more on the matter tomorrow.” she looked to Sam and Dean. “Afternoon, gentlemen.”

As Lisa walked out, Dean adjusted his tie and ran his fingers through his hair.

“What?” Dean shrugged at his brother. “A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone.”

“Really, man!?” Sammy’s bitchface stayed in place, “fucking really? What made you even think that doing some ‘harmless flirting’ with someone from Lucifer, of all industries, was a good idea?”

“Hey, man,” Dean walked over to his brother and took the contract from him. “She’s the one who started it, I just decided to play the fame.” He couldn’t help but chuckle. “I mean, If I end up getting lucky,” he shrugged. “Why not? I mean I am a free agent.”

“I am literally begging you here. Of all the women you can think of, don’t put Lisa Braden in that list of options.”

“So a quick blow job at Pop’s party is a bad idea?” Dean gave Sam a serious look.

“I fucking hate you so much right now for that cursed image.” Sam pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Like I said Sam, she’s flirting and I’m playing the game,” Dean shook his head and laughed. “I don’t want THAT in my bed. I have standards.”

“I would say something, but the image you provided earlier is still in my head and I just need some goddamn brain bleach right now.” Sam groaned.

“All right, I need to look over this contract and you can probably just ask Jess to send you some nudes,” Dean grinned and ducked as Sam tried to hit him.

“Fuck off, asshole,” Sam groaned again.

“Bitch, get out of my office,” Dean laughed as he sat behind his desk and took the contract in his hand.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam shook his head as he made his way to the door. “You’re going to need all your brain power, Jerk.”

Dean flipped him off and chuckled to himself. Once Sam left he looked at the contract and began to pour over it. By the end of the day, Dean had been successful in avoiding his father. Looking over the contract, he sighed. There was something off about the wording. Something just didn’t sit right with him. Rubbing his eyes he sat back in his chair and closed his eyes.

He could hear it like a bell. She giggled as they lay on the sand, the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore.

“Dean?” her voice was a melody in his heart.

“Yeah?” he looked into her Y/E/C eyes.

“I want to stay with you forever,” she caressed his cheek.

He could almost feel it, as if she was there with him. He reached to caress her cheek. The wind blew softly. As he leaned in to kiss her a loud thunderous crash echoed around.

Dean woke up with a jolt and ran a hand across his face. Clearing his throat he looked over at the door as another knock echoed in the room.

“Come in,” Dean called. The door opened, and his little brother’s head popped in.

“Thought you would’ve left by now,” his brother closed the door behind him, then sat in one of the chairs in front of Dean’s desk. “Normally, you would’ve had stormed out or screamed at someone already…”

Dean looked over at the time, “Shit.” Dean looked at the contract and tilted his head. “There is something in this contract that just doesn’t sit right with me.” Dean took a pen and circled a section of the contract.

“I told ya,” Sam said, “it’s… too vague, but at the same time too complicated to really understand and I want to punch the person who wrote it.”

Dean began to unbutton his shirt and the small pendant tumbled forward. Running his fingers through his hair he noticed his brother staring at him.

“What?” Dean looked at the contract thinking that Sam might have figured it out. Sam pursed his lips and shook his head.

“I thought maybe you would understand whatever the hell this contract actually says, but this just confirms that this deal is fishy,” Sam ran a hand through his hair and face, “As far as I’m concerned, we could be getting fucked up here and we’re not even realizing it, man.”

“Which is why I'm taking it to Pop’s and I’m not signing it,” Dean pointed to a line in the contract. “Says here that the CEO needs to sign.”

“Guess Nick wasn’t counting on you coming back, huh?” his brother chuckled, before the smile faded from his face, looking back at Dean cautiously, “I thought you said you didn’t want to be CEO. What about Matagorda and everything you have planned, Dean?”

“Oh I’m still going to Matagorda,” Dean smirked. “Pop’s and I have a meeting with Mick. I’m thinking Mick does the paperwork, but I okay everything that needs a Winchester signature.”

“Not that bad of a plan,” Sam nodded, “think Pops will be ok with it?”

“I’m going to have a talk with the old man tomorrow.” Dean grabbed his jacket and subconsciously touched the pendant he was wearing. “If it means taking care of the business and making sure that we’re not duped into losing it then I think so.”

“When did you get that?”

“Huh?” Dean looked down at the pendant that hung on his chest. “I found it on the seashore by the house.” Dean smirked, “something just told me to take it. I mean…. There’s just something about it.”

“You sure one of your flings didn’t forget it the next morning?” Sam joked.

“Don’t,” Dean smirked. “Besides, Mom thinks you and Jess should have the wedding there.” Dean thought back to the dream he had last night. “If you guys want. It’ll save you money, and it’s a nice location.”

“Wow!” Sam smiled, “I mean, I’m sure we’re gonna want to check it out at some point and Jess would totally love a wedding near the ocean…” he rambled before turning to look back at Dean, “are you sure about it man? I mean, having the wedding there would mean Dad being there and I know that, that’s your place now… We’d love to, but we don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re my brother Sam,” Dean placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I want you two to get married there. I’m not going to let Dad chase me away because I’m not following his plan.”

“Thanks, Dean… Really.”

“Besides,” Dean smirked. “You and Jess should come in a couple of weeks. Just the two of you to visit. Get to know the place.” Dean held back a yawn and shook his head. “We should head back to your place. I’m tired and starved. Think we can have steak tonight instead of rabbit food?”

“Forget it, man,” Sam laughed, throwing his arm across Dean’s shoulders, “tonight, we are buying you the greasiest, most delicious burger we can find. Think of it as your best man present.”

“Oh, Sammy,” Dean pretended to wipe away a tear. “A man after my own heart. I am so glad I said yes!” he placed a hand on his chest and batted his eyelashes at his brother.

“Don’t get used to it. You’ll definitely be eating rabbit food tomorrow and at my wedding” his little brother laughed.

“You better be joking,” Dean laughed. “Cause even Dad would have a bitch fit about that.”

Any and all types of feedback is greatly appreciated :D

My asks are open in case you wanna send feedback, have questions or wanna be added to the tag list :)

My requests are also open, in case you want me to write something specific.

Call of the Ocean tag list: (if your username is in bold italics, that means tumblr didn’t let me tag you)

@67-chevy-baby @tmiships4life @cloudyskylines @chelsea072498 @carryon-doctor-lock @samanddeanwinchester67 @thatgirl1456 @satans-0-spawn @waywardrose13 @secretsthathauntus @parinarain @swagfancroissantpizza @roonyxx @roxytheimmortal @starryeyeseunbyul @rintheemolion @abeautifuldiaster124 @lovely-lynns-likes @ladyofmaidensandwine @starchildwild @peachyafshawn @idksupernatural @mimzy1994 @winchest09 @katehuntington @superfanficnatural @waywardbeanie @janicho88 @malfoysqueen14 @whatareyousearchingfordean @talesmaniac89 @emoryhemsworth @jensengirl83 @atc74 @deanwanddamons @crashdevlin @hobby27 @eliwinchester @notyourtypicalrose @babykalika2001 @deanmonandnegansbitch @kickingitwithkirk @sandlee44 @fandom-princess-forevermore @desertmoths @cookiechipdough @akshi8278 @theflamecrystal @tessellaneous @mrswhozeewhatsis

60 notes · View notes

there-must-be-a-lock · 4 years

Text

Partying and Poker Faces

Criminal Minds x Supernatural

Word Count: ~3350

Warnings: Errbody gettin drunk. Terrible zamboni puns.

A/N: No, seriously, it’s just random drunk conversations. They are ridiculous. It’s fun. Thanks to @stunudo, @fookinghelljensensthighs, @lastactiontricia and everybody else in the Slack chat who listened to me ramble and helped with Nutcracker jokes/Winchester band names. Hair clip scene inspired by this post.

Part 6 of the Rockstar AU!

The “Wayward Sons” World Tour: Pre-Tour Kickoff Party

. . .

“Okay, seriously though, my friend found all these pictures of them at Bonnaroo walking around with a girl with blue hair, right? So she did a side-by-side analysis and she swears it’s Harry Styles in a wig. Like, honest to god.”

“Who’s Harry Styles?” Spencer asks, putting his book down and rubbing his eyes as he comes out of his reading trance.

“Only the love of my life,” Penelope tells him.

“Penelope,” Emily interrupts. “You are not allowed to ask him if he’s really friends with Harry Styles.”

Penelope deflates slightly. “But -”

JJ tells her, “You are definitely not allowed to ask if you can have Harry Styles’s phone number.”

Penelope rolls her eyes. “Apparently there’s a whole group of crazies who think he and Sam are actually dating. There are conspiracy theories and everything.”

“Let’s just outlaw the subject of Harry Styles altogether,” JJ says hurriedly. “Okay?”

“Oh my God, I wouldn’t actually ask. Are you ready yet, Em?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Emily replies, glaring at her reflection. She’s been trying to even out her wings for like half an hour now. “I look like a raccoon.”

“So… normal then?” Spencer asks, with his cheekiest smile.

“Uh oh, we’ve got Sassy Spence tonight,” JJ says. She grabs Emily’s arm to tug her away from the mirror. “You’re gorgeous. Let’s go.”

“Forward, march!” Penelope orders. “To Suite 202!”

. . .

“So then Sammy asks if she’s his daughter,” Dean finishes.

Hotch and Spencer laugh; it makes Hotch look about ten years younger.

“What did she say?” Spencer asks, tucking his hair behind his ears again. With his legs crossed in his ratty Chucks, he looks too young to be drinking.

“Just said ‘I’m his wife,’ ice cold, and walked away.”

“You should’ve seen the look on Sam’s face,” Cas adds. He settles down next to Dean, handing him a fresh drink and sitting close. For a moment Dean forgets that they’re allowed to be close, that he’s not in public any more, and then he puts an arm around Cas, smiling to himself.

“What about you?” Dean asks.

“I haven’t gotten starstruck since Kurt Cobain,” Hotch answers. “But you should ask Spencer what happened when he met David Byrne.”

“Spencer, what happened when you met David Byrne?” Cas asks with a smirk.

“Well… you know how Freud talked about seeing the Acropolis for the first time? The feeling of derealization?”

“No,” Dean says, raising his eyebrows. “Should I?”

“What you have to understand is that my mom was playing me the Talking Heads while I was in the womb,” Spencer continues earnestly. “Remain In Light, mostly, because it came out that year, but — anyway. Research shows —“

“David Byrne is his Acropolis,” Hotch translates. “He didn’t speak for almost two hours after they were introduced.”

“And I get the feeling there aren’t many things that render him speechless,” Cas says dryly.

. . .

“Hey there, hot stuff,” Penelope says, and she sits in the empty spot next to Derek on the couch. She almost kicks Spencer as she does so; he’s sitting on the floor in front of the couch, hunched over one of the acoustic guitars that everybody’s been passing around.

“You know there’s another chair, right?” asks Sam, who’s sprawled out in one of the armchairs opposite their couch.

“Trust me, it’s pointless,” Derek tells him. “He hates chairs.”

“That’s not true,” Spencer says absent-mindedly, tucking his hair behind his ears. “I like the ones with wheels.”

“Wait, you play keys, right?” Sam asks, watching Spencer pluck out a quick, dexterous open-tuned thing that Penelope is pretty sure he’s improvising.

“And synths,” Spencer says, pushing his hair out of his eyes again. “But also… a little bit of everything, I guess.”

“Guitar, bass, drums, violin, cello, saxophone, clarinet,” Derek rattles off proudly. “What else? There are some weird ones.”

“Didgeridoo!” Penelope adds.

“She calls it my didgeri-don’t,” Spencer says, and it’s true; it’s her least favorite instrument, which is unfortunate because it’s one of her favorite words.“And there are a few things I built, I guess, but haven’t really named yet.”

“That’s awesome,” Sam says, looking suitably impressed.

“You need a goddamn haircut, Pretty Boy,” Derek says, as Spencer tries to get his hair out of his eyes again.

“Don’t listen to him,” Sam tells Spencer, running a hand through the shampoo-commercial situation he has on his own head. “And don’t let my brother start in on you, either.”

Penelope rummages in her purse for a second and pulls out a neon green butterfly clip. She combs some hair back from Spencer’s forehead, twists it, and secures it so that the butterfly is right on the crown of Spencer’s head.

“Thanks, that’s much better,” Spencer says, giving her a quick smile over his shoulder. Sam stifles a laugh.

“Hey,” Derek says, in an undertone. “Got any more of those?”

“I love the way your brain works,” Penelope stage-whispers back. She digs around until she has a whole handful of aggressively colorful glittery barrettes (some are shaped like flowers, some have pom-poms) and passes half to Derek. She leans down and starts to braid a little section of hair near Spencer’s temple. He doesn’t seem to notice.

. . .

“You’re new, aren’t you?” Hotch asks, as he starts mixing himself a drink. “I don’t think we met at the surprise show.”

“Jack,” the kid says, with a sweet smile. He’s all fresh-faced and earnest. Hotch has concerns.

“I’m Aaron, but everybody calls me Hotch,” he says. “What‘s your part in this whole circus?”

“I’m their guitar tech,” he chirps. “Cas is my uncle, also. He’s the one who got me the job.”

“Uh-huh. First tour?”

He nods. “I’m excited! This is going to be great.”

Hotch has a feeling this is going to be trouble.

Jack has a hand on the whiskey bottle when Hotch notices and asks, “How old are you?”

“He’s twenty,” Charlie interrupts, snatching the bottle from Jack’s hand. “Down, boy.”

Jack shrugs, not seeming particularly bothered, and wanders away with his soda.

“Good to know,” Hotch says wryly.

Charlie gives Hotch an apologetic look and says, “I feel like a spoilsport. Like, let the kid have some fun, right?”

“So you followed all the rules when you were his age?”

“Well, no, not so much, although I wasn’t into drinking so much as… um. Mild felonies.” She wrinkles her nose expressively. “But I have strict orders from Cas. He might look like a teddy bear, but Cas can be scary.”

“Felonies,” Hotch says, trying to keep a straight face. Charlie nods.

“Hacking, mostly?” she says tentatively. “There was some… environmentally focused cyber-terrorism, I guess you’d call it.”

“You should talk to Penelope, she used to do that sort of thing as well.”

Charlie looks over dubiously at Penelope, who is pulling up the hem of Derek’s shirt and showing off his abs, Vanna White style, for Sam’s benefit. Sam looks shockingly unaffected, so odds are he is straight, in which case, Rossi owes Hotch some money.

“Really. She was actually contacted by the FBI, they wanted to hire her, but.” Hotch smiles at the way Charlie’s mouth falls open. “She has a whole… sordid history. They used to call her the Black Queen.”

“Are you… what?” Charlie asks incredulously.

“I know, it’s a ridiculous name, but —”

“No, that’s — I can’t believe it,” Charlie stutters. “Really?”

Hotch raises an eyebrow. “Really. Does that mean something to you?”

Charlie shakes her head, eyes wide. “You don’t understand, she’s a legend. She’s like a frakking rockstar.”

“Excuse me?”

“No, like an actual rockstar,” Charlie insists. “Not that you’re not a rockstar, I didn’t mean — holy crap.”

“Would you like me to introduce you?” Hotch offers.

Charlie goes pale. “I don’t — um.”

“I think you’re the first person who has ever been intimidated by Penelope Garcia,” Hotch muses.

Charlie does a quick shot of whiskey before nodding. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

. . .

“I am so fuckin’ glad I don’t have to deal with this every night,” Bobby says gruffly, with an expansive gesture at everyone in the room and their varied levels of inebriation. “We’re too old for this shit. Don’t know how you still want to go out on the road.”

“Of all the groups I’ve managed, believe it or not, this one’s the easiest.”

Bobby looks across the room to where JJ is passing around shots and Emily is talking everybody into a game of Truth or Dare, as a “bonding exercise.” Spencer is clinging to Morgan’s back like a gangly white Yoda; Morgan, who’s serenading Sam with “Wonderwall” (Sam is covering his ears and looking pained) doesn’t seem to notice his weight.

“I don’t believe it, actually,” Bobby tells Rossi, who shrugs.

“They take care of each other, really. No ego involved, with any of them, which is rare enough in this business.” Rossi pauses as Penelope shrieks; Hotch, who is standing between her and Charlie, looks vaguely alarmed, but nobody seems to be in any real danger. Rossi adds, “They may act like a bunch of assclowns sometimes, but they’re much smarter than they look. I told you, didn’t I?”

“Fair enough,” Bobby says. He’d called Rossi on a whim, looking for an opener for Dean’s surprise show and hinting about “discretion” and “liberal types,” trying not to give too much away. He’d expected Rossi to put him in touch with a friend of a friend, or something. He didn’t expect this to work out so well.

Bobby’s not used to things working out well. It’s a nice change.

“Good to see you again, anyway” Rossi says. “You’re coming out to a few more shows, right?”

“Course. I’ll be around here and there.”

“Bet you’ll miss them soon enough. I was bored stiff when I was retired,” Rossi says.

“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to get those two through their teenage years,” Bobby grouches. “Just about put me in an early grave.”

“They seem like good kids,” Rossi says. “I don’t think I’ve seen you since they were… how old?”

Bobby can’t help but smile at that. “Yeah, they’ve got good heads on their shoulders. They grew up. Just in time, too. I kept tellin’ them, success is going to change things, but I don’t think they believed me. Idjits.”

Rossi nods knowingly. “Cheers to success, then. And old friends.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

. . .

“Pastor’s son, in the church,” Emily says.

“Twins,” Dean replies smugly.

“Nice.” Emily gives him a fist-bump. “Backstage during a performance of The Nutcracker.”

“I’ll be very disappointed if there were no nut jokes.”

Emily smirks. “Well, there were no actual nuts involved, but the fairy did, in fact, taste like sugar plums.”

“Yeah, okay, not bad,” Dean says. He clinks his beer bottle against hers and they drink. “On top of a zamboni.”

“You mean zam-bone-y?”

“Thank you! Sam rolled his eyes so hard I thought they were gonna fall out when I said that.”

“The Roxy.”

“Green room? C’mon,” Dean scoffs. “Amateur hour.”

“Nope,” Emily says triumphantly. “In the crowd, during a Guns N Roses show.”

“Okay, that’s fuckin’ awesome,” Dean laughs.

“It really was.”

Dean’s eyes flick across the room, following Cas, who just deadpanned something that’s making Hotch double over with laughter. Dean’s eyes go crinkly at the corners as his smile gets even brighter — a full-on megawatt movie star smile — and his expression is so sweet and soft and utterly adoring that Emily melts a little bit.

“Gross,” she says, elbowing Dean. He elbows her right back.

“Shuddup,” he mutters.

“No more twins for you,” Emily sing-songs.

“Worth it,” Dean says firmly, and even she can’t think of anything snarky to say to that.

. . .

JJ can only understand about one in five of the words Penelope and Charlie are chattering to each other, so she gives up and leaves them to it. She’s slightly concerned they’re plotting to take over the world, or something. They don’t seem to notice her leaving.

Dean and Emily are side by side on one of the couches, both slouching, with their feet up on the coffee table and beers resting on their stomachs, giggling about something as if they’ve been lifelong friends. The whole tableau is unexpected, but not in a bad way.

There’s something about Dean that JJ just didn’t like, at first. It’s mostly that he’s too likable. In every interaction they’ve had, he’s been incredibly charismatic, warm, polite, funny… but it’s not him.

JJ is an expert at getting people to trust her without ever showing her hand. She recognizes a bluff when she sees one.

She’s been watching Dean, whenever he thinks she’s not paying attention. He lets his guard down, sometimes, when he’s with his brother or Cas, but there’s a well-disguised wall that goes up when he talks to anyone else. It’s defensive fortifications camouflaged as charm.

Apparently Emily’s shoved through whatever wall Dean usually puts up when he’s around strangers. Emily can do that to a person, though. JJ knows that better than anybody.

Emily’s clearly teasing him about something. He’s grinning, boyish and bashful and genuine, and JJ likes him a hell of a lot more, suddenly.

She heads over to join them on their couch, sliding over the armrest to sprawl halfway over Emily’s lap and cuddle in close.

“Are you two still playing Truth or Dare? This doesn’t look very daring.”

“Debauchery pissing contest,” Emily informs her.

Dean is watching her, and his walls are up again: pleasant smile slapped on his face, eyes calculating, playing it close to the chest until he figures her out.

She raises an eyebrow and prompts him: “Well? Aren’t you going to ask me?”

He looks suspicious, but he goes with it. “What’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?”

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell,” JJ says primly, and for a second Dean’s actually thinking about taking her seriously. She rolls her eyes. “Kidding. Middle of a Guns N Roses show.”

He looks confused for a second. Then Emily and JJ high-five, and Dean barks out a laugh.

“I didn’t know you —”

He hesitates.

“Swing that way?” JJ supplies.

“Yeah, that.”

“Most people don’t, and we’re gonna keep it that way. Understood?”

Dean seems surprised by the sudden sharp edge in her voice. “Gotcha.”

“I used to think she was crazy for not coming out publicly,” Emily tells Dean, but she’s looking at JJ with a little half-smile on her face. “But now that people are starting to give a shit about us, sometimes I think she might’ve had the right idea.”

“Don’t lie, you love being an ‘inspiration to the youth,’” JJ says, with mocking finger quotes. “And you’ve been disappointing your mom for years, she’s used to it. Mine would probably have a heart attack.”

“Yeah, but the number of times I get that fucking ‘Does that mean you’re attracted to pans?’ bullshit, I swear to God…”

Dean’s looking at JJ again, but this time it’s less calculating and more admiring. He nods slowly like something just started to make sense.

“Helluva poker face,” he says approvingly.

JJ grins. “Yours isn’t too bad either.”

. . .

“I gotta ask,” Spencer says, slurred and slow. “How’d you choose the band name? The Ceiling Fires?”

Sam shrugs. “It was a recurring dream that Dean and I both used to have.”

“Weird image.” Spencer makes a face as he undoes one of the tiny braids Penelope left in his hair. “Not that — weird isn’t a bad thing. It’s memorable.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Dean called it that as a joke, to start with, I think, but...” Sam rambles. He’s right at that point of drunk where words just keep rolling off his tongue. “Feels like a long time ago. I mean, I did not in a million years think we’d end up here.”

“Linear time,” Spencer comments.

Sam waits for him to finish the thought, but apparently that’s it.

“Linear time,” he repeats agreeably. “It’s not just… time, though, you know? It’s the whole deal. Success, I guess. People listening. Expecting you to look a certain way, or… I don’t fucking know.”

Spencer nods pensively, combing his fingers through his hair again. “We did a magazine photo shoot the other day and they wouldn’t let me wear any of my own clothes. I like my clothes. And people keep asking if I’m dating anybody.”

“Yeah, I’ve been getting that question too.” Spencer doesn’t know the half of it. Sam laughs to himself, rubbing his forehead, and takes a big gulp of his drink.

Spencer pulls out another barrette with a grimace. “I mean, why would anyone care if you’re dating… who was it? Harry Styles?”

Sam chokes and spits whiskey everywhere.

“Who —” he wheezes, and has to stop to cough. “Fucking — how did you know?”

“Wait, really?”

“What?”

“Penelope said it was just a stupid rumor,” Spencer says. He’s squinting at Sam like he’s seeing double.

“Shit.” The adrenaline rush is going a long way toward sobering Sam up. He shakes his head and tries to pull himself together. “Shit. I just… shit.”

“Is that a big deal?” Spencer asks, with a mild sort of confusion. “Penelope made it sound like a joke. She called it a conspiracy theory.”

Sam stares at him, open-mouthed, before dropping his head into his hands with a groan. “Yeah, let’s just keep calling it a conspiracy theory, okay? I already owe his publicist a fucking… fruit basket, or maybe just a lot of wine.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t actually know who that is,” Spencer offers. Sam laughs weakly. “No, really, I won’t tell anybody. Even Penelope. Especially Penelope.”

Sam studies him for a second. He looks earnest enough, in a boozy, unfocused way, but Sam’s learned the hard way that most people can’t be trusted.

Still, worth a try.

“If you could — yeah. Please? Just… please don’t tell anybody.”

“Believe me,” Spencer says. “I know how it goes. If you let people see the things that matter…” He trails off, his eyes sliding to a point somewhere over Sam’s shoulder, and his voice gets unexpectedly clear and fierce. “People can be vicious. I wouldn’t give them a weapon like that.”

Sam’s pretty sure he shouldn’t feel so reassured — Spencer still has a glittery butterfly clip sticking out from behind one ear — but he is, somehow.

“Thanks,” he says quietly.

Spencer shrugs, like it’s nothing, and settles the guitar in his lap again. “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

“Oh hell no,” Sam grumbles, and throws a couch cushion at him.

. . .

“Okay,” Hotch says decisively. “Everybody have their room keys?”

“Aww! He’s like the world’s cutest drill sergeant,” Charlie says. Hotch scowls at her, but he has a feeling it’s not very intimidating. She just giggles.

“Rossi?” Hotch asks, looking around and doing a quick head count.

“Went to bed an hour ago to listen to the latest episode of his fucking true crime podcast,” Emily says.

Hotch frowns. “Without me? Sneaky bastard.”

“Of all the weird fucking hobbies…” JJ mutters. “Hey, Morgan, is it my turn to be the jetpack?”

“Fuck no. I am way too buzzed to be carrying any of you home tonight. You can walk.”

“I’m not sure I can, actually,” Spencer says morosely. He looks like a rag doll, sitting on the floor, propped up by the side of the couch.

“Somebody come get Schroeder,” Dean mumbles, from where he’s curled up on the couch with his head in Cas’s lap.

“We got this,” Penelope says determinedly. She grabs Spencer by the wrists and hauls him to his feet, and they lean against each other heavily, somehow managing to stay upright.

Sam opens the door for them, smiling bemusedly as they all start to trail past: Morgan first, uncharacteristically wobbly on his feet; Emily and JJ, with their hands tucked into each other’s back pockets; Spencer and Penelope, staggering dangerously; and finally, Hotch bringing up the rear.

“Thanks,” he tells Sam, and waves at the others. “See you tomorrow.”

Before the door closes behind him, Hotch hears Dean say, “It’s gonna be a fun tour.”

#criminal minds x supernatural #crossover #cm #spn #criminal minds fic #supernatural fic

53 notes · View notes