#so i just had to take the opportunity y'know? especially since it's just. the biggest struggle to nail annleigh's face nowadays

[acacia-may]

And y'know what? 27 and 45 for any ship you want to indulge. 😤💖 I'm happy to listen you gush about your faves

Thank you so much for this ask, Laura, and for playing the ship ask game! 🥰

I feel so spoiled, and I'm not sure which ship to pick, honestly. 😅💖 I was going to go with Rillmy (my OTP of Black Clover), but I have gotten a few asks about them for this game, so I think I ought to go with a different relationship here (it's only fair to give the others a chance too even if Rillmy is my favorite 😁). I also considered writing some headcanons about my CC x OC ship, Henry Legolant x (my OC) Lorelei Swallow, but since I don't talk about my OCs a lot and I've only written about them a little bit so far, I didn't think they'd fall under the "any ship" umbrella category as intended. 😅 So instead, I decided to write some headcanons about a ship between only canon characters, David Swallow x Letoile Becquerel. I (secretly) really, really love them and I don't think I have ever talked about them before so I will gladly take this opportunity. 😂💖 Thank you so much again for that and for the ask!

Answers are below the cut because the post is a bit lengthy.

Ship Ask: David Swallow x Letoile Becquerel

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

In my mind, neither David nor Letoile are particularly big on verbal expressions of love. Neither of them are against it, but I think they would both prefer to express their love through their actions rather than with their words. For Letoile, words feel very cheap and very empty if they don't have actions to back them up, and I think David (for all of his bravado and big personality) actually feels kind of awkward about expressing his feelings with the words "I love you" (even if he does express love verbally in other ways through compliments and encouragement).

David expresses his love non-verbally with his time. No matter how busy he is, he always makes a point to carve out time for him and Letoile to spend together. He loves planning activities for them to do, spontaneous little trips, and fun experiences they can share. Letoile isn't usually the biggest fan of surprises, so they sometimes have to compromise on that (i.e. he tells her that he's going to take her somewhere for the weekend and enough about the place & the weather so she'll know what to pack even if he doesn't tell her exactly where they are going 😁). As a couple, I think they both value their independence so they don't do everything together, but it's really important to David to get to share a lot of things with Letoile and, at least in my mind, a big moment for him in realizing that he loves her, is him first realizing that he wants to share so much of his life and all of these experiences with her. He really does just want to be with her all the time (or at least most of the time).

Letoile expresses her love non-verbally through acts of service. David can be a little proud and not ask for help all that often, but she can tell when he's struggling and will offer to lend a hand, which he'll often take her up on. He actually told her he loved her for the first time in a sleep deprived daze and frazzled relief when she stepped in and "saved him" from scrambling over a mission report for Golden Dawn he had forgotten about. Eventually when they marry and have a family, they tend to split the housework equally, but Letoile will often quietly surprise David by taking care of some of his laundry or helping out with some of the chores he was supposed to do (especially if he is exceptionally busy or rundown). She is also fantastic at taking care of him when he's sick (though she doesn't baby him or allow him to baby himself 😅).

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

Despite being so different in personality and not always seeing eye to eye, I like to think that David and Letoile actually do have a lot of respect for each other and are very supportive of each other (even if they do occasionally argue). I think David's support is very loud and exuberant--kind of like a cheerleader, whereas Letoile's support is more quiet but steady like a support beam or firm foundation where David can "safely land" when he tries to reach for the stars.

In some of my headcanons for the future, I imagine that Letoile eventually becomes the Golden Dawn's Captain (or whatever the squad will be called by then), and no matter what happens to them (if they end up together or just stay friends) David is so incredibly proud or her and goes around talking her up to everyone. I think this is especially true in a world where they're married--he's just telling anyone who will even so much as pretend to listen: "My wife is the Captain of the Golden Dawn! She's amazing!" I think he is very openly supportive of her dreams and incredibly proud of her accomplishments. In my mind, Letoile really has this forever cheerleader in him, and he really thinks she is just incredible and wants everyone to know how amazing she is.

On her side, Letoile is much more quiet and reserved just by nature and personality, and in that way, I think her support is much more steady and calm. It's less flashy but it's steadfast. She is always in his corner, and he knows that he can always turn to for advice or support when he needs it. I think David has a lot of these more wild, big ideas, and his big plans can sometimes get away from him so the support he needs is often having someone there to help him reign back in a little bit so he doesn't bite off more than he can chew and also to help him with the more practical side of how he can make his dreams reality, and I think Letoile is very good at that and he appreciates that in her.

Overall, I like to think that because they're such good friends with each other, communication comes a bit easier for them and they can be more open about their struggles with each other (despite both being a bit proud and independent at times and really wanting to default to that "Well I can take care of it myself" mentality). I think they can really learn to lean on each other and will really stick by one another in particularly rough times in their lives. I mean, say what you will about Letoile and David but they're both pretty stubborn (in true Golden Dawn fashion, of course). That can be bad things sometimes, but I also think it can be a good thing sometimes too. No matter what happens, neither one of them is really going anywhere. When they choose to share their lives with each other, they're not going to change their minds. They will stubbornly stick together through thick and thin. They might disagree sometimes, but I think those disagreements will be over mostly inconsequential things (like what color to paint the living room walls), and in a time of real trouble, they will come together and work through it together, falling back on the deep, mutual respect they have for each other.

#David Swallow x Letoile Becquerel #Letoile Becquerel x David Swallow #david x letoile #letoile x david #david swallow #letoile becquerel #ship ask game #thanks for the ask! #laura 🧡

[beneath-the-mask-imagines]

First off, welcome! I’m so excited to see Persona 5 content still being made! I can’t wait to see this blog take off!

If you don’t mind me asking, got any headcanons for Ryuji having a big ol crush on a childhood best friend?

A/N; this came out a bit more angsty in some parts than I intended for it to, but I tried to keep the majority of it on the fluffy, lighthearted side. thank you for the request!

words; 918

Ryuji Sakamoto [Skull] crushing on his childhood best friend;

Ryuji is absolutely awful at hiding his feelings. He thanks his lucky stars if you happen to be particularly oblivious because he's almost on constant edge of letting it slip out, unsure of how long he could last if you were on the more perceptive side.

He's actually pretty quick to accept his feelings, even if he feels conflicted over them. It takes a few days of trying to fight them off, attempting to convince himself he just really likes you - but eventually he comes to terms with the fact that he no longer sees you only platonically.

Ryuji is.... pretty torn up over it. You two have known each other since you were children - single digit ages! - and you're the closest thing to a sibling he's ever had. You're his absolute best friend, and he's never viewed you as more than such - so the sudden budding of romantic feelings throws him for a curve, to say the least.

He fears losing you if his feelings come out and are unreciprocated; the thought of potentially spoiling the tight-knit friendship you two have had since you were younger if his one-sided feelings made you uncomfortable being his biggest fear. It’s why he tries to keep his feelings a heavily guarded secret: he’d rather lose out on having you as his significant other than lose out on having you at all.

Considering this closeness, you're the one Ryuji trusts the most with his feelings, rarely feeling shame for opening up to you. Had he been crushing on anyone else, he easily would've told you about it - !

It's almost comically awkward; many moments crop up where you can tell something is really on his mind, and your teasing remarks questioning if he's got a special someone on his mind did nothing but make him grow embarrassed, his face redder than it had been - “Shuddup!”

Another fear keeping him from telling you is your reputation. Lord knows what people say about you just being his friend, especially after the falling out with the track team, but as a couple? You've put up with jabs here and there, letting the insinuations from students and teachers alike that you're probably as equal a delinquent as he is just for being friends with him roll right off your back, and while you always insisted that you didn't care in the slightest, Ryuji doesn't want you or your reputation to suffer any more because of him.

He becomes extremely protective over you once he accepts his feelings. He was already pretty protective over you when his feelings for you were only platonic, having no problem standing up for you if someone was giving you shit, even if you were more than capable of standing up for yourself. The resulting scuffles between him and the antagonists were always more than worth it in his eyes, but you'd always chide him for being so impulsive and reckless, though you both knew your respective actions were only out of care for the other.

He starts inviting you out more often than usual, as often as he can without coming across as clingy; arcades, Ogikubo’s ramen shops, Dome Town, his place (his mom absolutely loves you and is always more than happy to have you over) - you two were already practically glued to each other beforehand, but as his feelings for you grew, his heart would skip a beat whenever the opportunity to spend more time in your presence arose. He always makes sure he has enough money on him for the outings to be his treat, as well.

While he won’t show it, he does get jealous if he thinks you’re interested in someone else. His jealousy is shown through an increase in his protectiveness over you; vetting the hell out of whoever it is he thinks you have eyes for. Though that’s not to say it’s easy for him, because it isn’t at all - to Ryuji, regardless of whether or not it’s him you’re interested in, your happiness and safety are his top priorities. He’d rather be dammed than see you end up hurt.

Assuming his feelings develop during the events of the game, after awhile they become too strong to keep bottled up, and he ends up talking to Ann and/or Akira about it. He trusts the both of them the most out of the Thieves, and figures that if anyone could offer tips and advice on that sort of thing, it was those two.

Many times does he come close to blurting his feelings out, especially when the two of you are alone. Just having you next to him is enough to get his mind racing, especially whenever you touch him; even something as innocent as a punch to the shoulder after he retold the same dumb joke you’ve already heard a million times gets his heart pounding.

In all actuality, when his confession does eventually come, it’s much more soft, albeit a bit hesitant in tone. It’s most likely late in the evening when it’s just you two alone and he feels the moment is right.

Ryuji knows he’s not the smoothest with words even at the best of times, but it doesn’t stop him from taking a breath and trying to gather his composure, nudging your preoccupied self gently with his elbow to get your attention with a quiet “Hey,”

"I.... Listen. You've been with me through thick and thin, y'know? You've been puttin' up with a lot 'cause of me, and.... I never wanna lose you. I don’t know if ya get what I mean, and I get it if you can't see yourself feelin' the same but.... I want more with you."

#persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 heacanons #p5 headcanons #persona 5 x reader #p5 x reader #persona 5 imagines #p5 imagines #persona 5 scenarios #p5 scenarios #ryuji sakamoto #ryuji sakamoto x reader #ryuji sakamoto headcanons

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #323

“dehumanized upon a shell  /  we came to bleed it dry  /  obsessed with divine wealth  /  divide and multiply”

Have you ever drawn on someone’s face while they were sleeping? No. Would you scuba dive in shark infested waters if you had the chance? No thanks. What is your favorite slow song? There are so many, but one of the slowest and most beloved of mine is "Obstacles" by Syd Matters. It gives me goosebumps without fail. It's one song I know I want at my hypothetical wedding. If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? I mean, yeah. I'd want to know their intentions. If your best friend died, would you be able to speak at their funeral? It'd be extremely difficult, but if I had any say in it, I absolutely would. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times it causes too much pain, depending on the pictures, of course. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? Definitely not. My life is painfully uneventful. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? I don't know. Do you have a house phone? No. Which fast food place do you eat at the most? McDonald's. Have you ever met someone on the Internet in real life? Yep. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Do you like being in pictures? No. Do you travel a lot? Essentially never, even though I'd love to. Do you play any sports? No. Do you like pickles? Yesssss. How many times have you been kicked out of a store? Never. Is there things you’ve told someone that you’ve NEVER told anyone else? Probably. When was the last time you had alcohol? My birthday dinner last month. Are you one to often make typos? No, except when I'm texting. I have autocorrect on for a reason. On a hot day, would you rather prefer ice cream or a popsicle? Ice cream. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, but I just didn't want to drink anymore at one point. I'm far from a lightweight, apparently. Have you played cards recently? No. Is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist? Mother Mother immediately comes to mind, but not the main singer; he's great. The woman who occasionally joins in is fucking horrendous. Like, it hurts my ears. Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don't and never have really headbanged, surprisingly. It's a sure-fire way to make me dizzy. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I hope not... Sometimes I feel like it's time with photography, but I just. Can't. Have you ever captured a moth? I've raised a caterpillar into one before, then of course let it go. Is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway? Otep, noteably. When was the last time you wore earrings? It's been a long time. How many pairs of heels do you own? I don't think I have any. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? Uhhhh it's been at the very least a month, but I know more. Would you consider yourself to be physically strong? Absolutely not, especially my legs. I struggle to fucking walk because they're so weak. Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? Yes, actually. I helped Jason paint his shelf black. Do you have a really fat cat? No, we never have. We've always been good about keeping our pets at a healthy weight. Do your initials spell a word? No. When was the last time you went to a playground? A year or so ago when I was taking pictures of someone's son, as well as just general family photos. That same family just had another baby the other day. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No. Do you have a favorite curse word in a different language? No. Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multipication times tables? Lol not most of them, no... It's been way too long. Do you have a favorite font on the computer? Of the basic ones, probably Garamond. Are you good at creating logos? *shrugs* I've only ever really made my photography watermarks, and I only JUST made one I like pretty well. How about catch phrases? I don't make those. Have you ever been severely burned? Not severely, no. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I've actually had numerous dreams where I was pregnant, but I don't THINK I've had one where the baby was born yet. Do you or anyone you know have a rabbit? No. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road? Hm, nothing too weird, I think. Last song you got stuck in your head? "ALTÆR" by 3TEETH. Last song you listened to? ^ Favorite movie quote? I don't know. Maybe Rafiki's quote about the past hurting, but you should take that opportunity to learn. Favorite lyric? That is impossible. There are so, so very many that just like slather me in goosebumps. What magazine are you an avid reader to? None. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I have. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Man, take me the hell back to my WiiFit days. I was pretty damn fit. The last time I did it, it was seriously alarming how much I struggled doing things that were once pretty effortless. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? "Very" seems a bit too much, but Mom definitely kept it in order. How many watches do you own? None. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes. Emergencies happen. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes; my mom has a cousin who's gay. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? Not recently, no. If so, what was the reason? ^ What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? Oh, y'know, dropping out of college three fucking times. Once I pay my own bills and I truly understand finances, that's going to fucking wreck me. Do you like metal music? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck yeah. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Heavy and symphonic. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom for bringing home lunch recently. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Maybe like a month when I was technically homeless? How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? It was preeeetty rough. Do you like strawberry shortcake? No. What’s the last you got out of the freezer? A microwavable breakfast bowl. Do you go on the computer or watch TV more? Guess. Explain why you are single: Because I'm a very, very underdeveloped "adult" that has very little clue what she's doing. At my age, I and any potential partner should want someone with direction. What feature do you usually get most complimented on? My hair. Has anyone ever accused you of being gay? Well, I'm bi. I had this weird therapist once in middle school though who asked if I was a lesbian... Idk why she did? What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? I'm in an advanced ball python husbandry group, and while a lot of people there are utter, degrading elitists, they do have valuable information. Did you name all of your stuffed animals and dolls? I sure did as a kid. What would you have your bridesmaids wear? Probably black dresses, and I think it'd be really cool if I were to marry a woman, the bridesmaids wear checkered Converses colored into a rainbow pattern, or something like that. Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? I think Alaska, if it was a good time to see the Northern Lights. Are you sick right now? No, thankfully. Do you feel loved? Yes. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? God no. I have such a flat ass. Are you ashamed of your faith? I'm assuming by this you mean religion, in which case, I don't have one and am not ashamed of that. Has anyone ever tried to force their beliefs on you? Yes. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? Again, I'm bisexual. I have never had a personal act of homophobia inflicted upon me, though. Have you ever been accused of being homophobic? Yes, because I was for most of my life. Fucking repulsive to remember. "Repulsive" is much too gentle a word, but yeah. It is so, so embarrassing to recall myself ever believing it was wrong because my then-religion said no-no. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two pets. I would be so, so lonely without any. :/ I've had pets my entire life. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. How long has it been since that last time you went on a date? Like two or so years. Do you think babies are cute? They can be, but I usually don't find them all that cute, honestly. Especially newborns/very young infants. They're usually hideous. My youngest niece is actually the only newborn that I remember seeing that I thought was absolultely precious. What is your favorite style of pants? Ripped skinny jeans. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. Who was the last person who broke your heart? Jason. ^Do you still miss this person? I'm sure I always will to some degree. Do you have someone to talk to and share your secrets with? Sara more than anyone, but Mom, too. Is there someone you feel extra shy around? Just men in general. Have you been hurt more by friend break-ups or romantic break-ups? Romantic. Closest living thing to you? My snake's terrarium is against the opposite wall. She's in her hide. Would you rather drown or burn alive? Drown. You go unconscious first, so. And I'd assume it to be faster than burning alive. Also me no like hot. :'''( Who is the last person you got really pissed off with? My stepmother posted some ignorant bullshit on Facebook about how people blow out of proportion our "supposed" environmental crisis. I nearly deleted her right then and there. I take that shit seriously. Most of her beliefs drive me insane, honestly, but she's a wonderful person at heart, so I just bit my tongue. Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? Girt. What type of sushi do you like to eat? Never tried it, don't want to. Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Yes. Do you have any flowers in your room? No. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Yes. Well, I took pictures for her family, anyway. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? Jesus, yes. My little sister. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? Neither are "big" health freaks, especially not Dad when you consider he smokes and knows it'll be what kills him. My mom is diabetic though, so she's reasonably careful. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We don't have any. Ma tries to keep snacks out of the house for both hers and my sake. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH BOY idk. I'd probably spend days planning the "perfect" thing. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I do. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Yep, my band teacher. He was incredibly loved by literally everyone. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? Neither's. They both have brown eyes. What’s the best date movie? We gonna have a problem if you don't watch The Notebook w/ me if I have it on lmao. How long has your current best friend been your best friend? Many years now. (: Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but I don't yell. Would you rather name your daughter Andrea or Eva? Andrea. If you were adopted, would you want to know? Yes. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't care less about someone's eyebrows. Do your pets chase after bugs? Oh yes, Roman certainly does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Hmmm... this actually happened recently, but I don't remember why... What is your mom’s favorite movie? I don't know, actually. I think it's some romance one. What TV family reminds you of your own family? None, really. Do you know anyone who always looks perfect? Who? One of my best high school friends Alon was like... just always pristinely beautiful, it seemed like. I haven't seen many pictures of her lately, but I'm sure that hasn't changed. Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? I think so once, yes. Who was the main character in the last book you read? A dragon named Sunny. Who are the last people you saw kiss? On the lips, I'm sure it woulda been my sister and her husband. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Clouds, I think. Well, it would depend on their design, I guess, and time of day. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? Probably my mom. Does your best friend get along with their parents? She has a wonderful relationship with them. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? I was the fat, hideous, crying bridesmaid. ;x; Are you purposely hiding something from someone? No. What’s the most intimate thing you’ve discussed with a stranger? My suicide attempt with doctors. What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? I always get fries. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? No. Are you in an argument with anyone right now? No. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Yes. Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? My grandmother. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve meet online? Sara. Have you friended your parents on FB? Mom, yes. Dad doesn't have one. What’s the last tourist area you visited? Chicago. Mice or roaches? Mice are precious, meanwhile I hate roaches. Did you give or get any Valentines this year? No. Well, Mom bought me and my sisters each a delicious candy apple, if that counts? What’s your homepage? Google. Is there anyone whose grave you visit? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

[niyes-lahiffe]

Djwifi December day 12: Proposal

@djwifi-december​ i really hope u guys like this one!!

Ao3

"Y'know, Nino, I don't see what the big deal is. You guys have been dating since high school."

Nino fiddled with the small box in his hands. A small box containing something that would no doubt change his and his girlfriend's lives forever.

He had been wanting to propose to Alya for a while now, but he was starting to get tired of waiting. She was the girl of his dreams and being with her forever was his biggest dream, as cheesy as it was. He bought her ring the night previous and was prepared to ask the ultimate question to her tonight. Or, he wanted to be prepared but his nerves didn't want him to be.

Nino scoffed. "Dude, you can't tell me you weren't nervous when you were getting ready to propose to Marinette."

Adrien gave his best friend a cocky smile and joked, "Nope! I totally knew she would be all for it."

Nino smiled and rolled his eyes. Adrien was an absolute mess that day and they both knew it.

"Seriously, Nino," Adrien comforted when Nino turned back to the box in his hands and gave it an anxious look. "I know she's been wanting it, too."

"I just don't know what to do, man!" Nino set the box down and ran both of his hands through his hair, breathing in deeply. "I want it to be special and not cliche..but also not too obvious. But Alya's the most observant person on this planet; it's literally impossible to surprise her." He groaned and planted his face in his hands.

"How many times have you tried surprising her?" Adrien asked.

"A few...and she caught on each time."

"Well, let's think of some ideas, then!" Nino's bud placed his hand on his shoulder, smiling brightly. "Brainstorming is always good. I don't want you to be stressed, so take some breaths, alright? We've got this."

Nino about cried on the spot. Adrien's support always got to him. He smiled and nodded.

------------------------------

The night was going way smoother than Nino thought it would, if he was being honest. It was probably because he didn't listen to any of the ideas Adrien came up with, he laughed to himself. Boy was coming up with the most ridiculous things that by the end of it, Nino wasn't entirely sure his bestie was being serious about it anymore and was just trying to lift his spirits. Luckily for them both, it did make him feel better.

For the final plan, Nino had decided to aim toward something romantic. They lived in the city of love itself, after all, so he thought best not to waste that fabulous opportunity.

They usually always used their free days as date days, so Nino wasn't worried she'd get suspicious with how much time they were spending together. He wanted a perfect blend of romance, something chill, and fun, quirky things to do. First, they baked cookies together at Alya's parent's house, laughing when Nino accidentally spilled half the flour all over himself (man, he loved it when Alya laughed so hard she snorted). After that, they watched a hyped up movie, though they both found it less than mediocre.

Now, they were standing in a quiet parking lot with a breathtaking view of the Eiffel Tower, shining as bright as the sun itself though it was night.

Nino was still as nervous as ever, though, especially with how close his final part of the plan was coming. Alya had her arms resting on the railing, her twinkling eyes no doubt making the Eiffel Tower itself jealous.

"Alya?"

"Hmm?" He was surprised when she turned to him rather than keep her gaze on the sight before her.

He took a deep breath and held out his hand. She looked up at him curiously, and he smiled softly at her."Can I have this dance?"

Her puzzled brow softened and she beamed as she placed her own hand in his. "You may."

They didn't need any music as they began waltzing. Dancing had always been their thing, even when they had just started dating in high school. As they grew older, however, they also grew more intimate.

Nino rested his cheek atop her head as she placed her head against his chest and he couldn't suppress his goofy smile with how wonderful she felt between his arms. His nerves vanished and he held on tighter, never wanting to ever let her go.

"I love you more than the world itself, you know," he murmured against her hair after they had comfortably danced for a while, giving the top of her head a gentle kiss after the words left his mouth.

Alya blinked up at him before smiling lightly. "I love you, too."

"I...I'd do anything to protect you. You're worth more than a thousand pieces of gold and I truly would fight an entire army of akumatized victims for you." Alya was staring up at him with wide eyes and mouth agape, and he continued. "It's...hard for me to put it into words right now, but Alya, I could write an entire essay about why you're the most beautiful and wonderful person on this entire planet."

Tears were now streaming down her face and she sniffled, "Nino..."

"I have one question for you, love..." Nino let her go and lowered himself onto one knee before her, grabbing the small box in his pocket and finally opening it. "Alya Césaire, will you marry me?"

"No fair!" She blubbered, reaching into her own pocket as Nino let out a "Huh?"

She lowered onto her own knee and opened a significant box in her hands herself. "Nino Lahiffe, will you marry me?"

He stared at the ring for a moment before bursting into tears and laughter. "Of course I will!"

They placed the rings on each other's fingers, sniffling and giggling all the while, before they rose to their feet. Not even a second passed before Alya launched herself at her now-fiancé and planted a splendid kiss on his lips that nearly knocked him over. Nino recovered quickly and smiled onto her lips as he practically melted into her, grabbing her cheek softly and tilting his head.

When they finally let go of their embrace, they rested their foreheads together and continued to hold on to each other tightly. They looked up and got lost in each other's practically glowing eyes.

Though it was big and scary, they were both ready for this next step of their lives, and they were excited to go through it together. There was no one else they'd rather have at their side for the rest of their lives.

#miraculous ladybug #djwifi #djwifi december #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #my fics #fics #proposal #i had fun with this one HHH they make me so happy :'DD #alya IS a smart cookie but basically she was so focused on proposing that she failed to realize he was doing the same lmaooo

[dasfuzzy]

This thing still exists...?

So...I guess I'll start off by saying that the main reason for this post is because I got the Tumblr app a while back and have periodically gotten the notification that someone has liked my blog (hello, by the way), so this is twofold:

1) Give an update because, y'know, I haven't touched this thing in a long time, so there's a lot to update, and

2) Find out who's been liking my blog and why. So I guess comment, message, note, or whatever the hell people do here and let me know what got you interested in my ramblings.

I guess the three main things I would discuss here were my job, my love life, and my situation in general, so those'll be the primary focus for now. I guess I'll start with my love life just to get that out of the way as it's typically the focal point and most salacious content here (and possibly the most interesting to y'all).

Well, I'm gonna tell you right off the bat that things have changed drastically since I last was here. I will say that if you're expecting me to tell all, you're gonna be disappointed. I know in the past I never really held back on my feelings and about dishing out the truth, but this is a different situation than any in the past. All I'll really say is that since August of 2017 I've been in a committed relationship with someone that I truly love and can see myself being with for the rest of my days. Our relationship hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows, however, mostly due to nagging injuries and surgeries stemming from a work-related injury on her part (she used to be a physical therapy assistant), but I've done everything in my power to accommodate her and make things work. It hasn't been easy and it's taken it's toll on me, but at the end of the day I try to remain optimistic that things will get better with time.

Regarding my job...er, jobs, I've bounced around a bit since I was last here. I think I was still at Dave & Busters, but I was able to leave there to become a preschool/toddler teacher at a highly-accredited daycare center called Bright Horizons. It wasn't the easiest job and with me being who I am (profane and a fan of mature content, a la Game of Thrones, Walking Dead and wrestling) I felt like I was walking on eggshells at times, especially because the director was a bit of a prude, but I really enjoyed it. I was one of only two male teachers in a facility of approximately 30 teachers, so the kids really enjoyed the change of pace. I learned a lot being there, especially since I only had a few early education courses under my belt beforehand and I had some great mentors guiding me along.

Unfortunately, I made the decision to leave after 18 months for a couple of reasons:

1) The landlady finally sold the house, so my mom and I had to move (more on that later), and

2) There was an incident where I might've let slip a bit of profanity on the job. Basically it was nap time and most of the children were sleeping. I was in one of the preschool rooms at the time and at that age, some children just don't want to sleep, so we have to either try to soothe them or at least do what we can to keep them quiet so they don't wake the other children up. So I'm with another, younger teacher sitting with the non-sleepers, one of which was on the autistic spectrum and had an action plan in place that inform us of what we can and cannot do in certain situations that normally wouldn't apply to other children. Anyways, that particular child was not having any of nap/quiet time and decided to start walking around the room. In my frustration, I might've uttered under my breath "what the fuck". A few days later, I get a call from the director and she asks me if I used any profanity while in the classroom. I tell her that I don't recall doing so; she tells me that another teacher informed her that I had and she would need me to type up a formal statement of what I recall from that particular event. I stuck to my guns and said that I honestly don't recall doing so and, after submitting that to her, I was put on an indefinite administrative leave. As much as I loved that job, I took that as a sign that maybe it was time to find another job, something that pays better because I knew I was going to be moving within the next few months.

On the first day of my "leave", I asked friends if they knew of any good-paying jobs that had openings. I was only making $12.40/hr, which is only $.40 over minimum wage, so I was definitely open to suggestions. My best friend told me to apply to where he worked, Fitzgerald Tile, because they were looking for warehouse workers. He said they could start me at $18, so I leapt at the opportunity. I went down that Monday and met the warehouse supervisor to have an interview. I'll give you an almost word-for-word retelling of how that interview went:

Him: "Do you know how to drive a forklift?"

Me: "Yeah."

Him: "Great, you're hired."

Me: "Oh...okay."

Okay, that might be stretching it a bit, but that was more or less how it went. Really, he outlined some of the basic duties, asked if I was able to lift up to 50lbs unassisted, know that I'm expected to work 50 hours a week, then had me fill out the application, mostly for the sake of having it on file. He told me that I would just have to meet with the HR person to finalize the paperwork and discuss pay and my schedule, then I'd be good to go. Here's the thing: I never got to talk to the HR person. Ever. I was waiting for over an hour then told that we could do it another time, so I just went home. I should've noticed how sketchy the whole thing was. I should've picked up on all the red flags, but I didn't. So I go home, call my boss, and tell her that I'm giving my two weeks notice. She obliges and I ask if I could come visit down the road. She says that it would be in the best interest of the children that I stay away so they don't get the wrong idea. Basically I haven't been back there besides one time when I stopped by after hours to catch up with my favorite colleague and mentor, Jen.

Anywho, here I am on November 19th at the asscrack of dawn starting at the tile warehouse. I meet with the warehouse supervisor (I don't fucking remember his name; he's honestly not worth remembering) and he asks if I know how to drive a forklift. Uh...we talked about that when you hired me, but anyways, I say yes. "Great. Hop on, drive around a bit, get a feel for it, then get to work." Um...I dunno about those guys, but when I was at Lowe's where I learned to drive a forklift, we had to be licensed to operate one. Not to mention if they bothered to do a background check, they'd learn that I was fired from there for getting into an accident on a forklift and causing damage to a bay door. But I do as they say; I grab an order sheet ("grab the biggest ones first", they tell me) and get to it. Basically the way they run things is they put the sheets out on a table, everyone grabs one, gathers everything up on a pallet, then drop it in the outgoing delivery area, then do it all again until every order has been filled. I should also mention that I started right as they were moving warehouses to North Reading, so after the orders were pulled, we had to get other pallets ready to ship to the new place. Remember how I said I was never able to talk to the HR person? Well, I was never given a schedule because of that, so I guess it was understood that I would come in at 7 in the morning and work until everyone was done, which typically wasn't until 8 or 9 at night. I adhered to that mindset for maybe a week and a half; after that, I started sneaking out after at least doing my 8 hours a day. One day the supervisor caught me and said that I can't do that again. I didn't give a fuck. Another day he tells me that I'm not working fast enough and need to step it up. Maybe if someone took the time to train me on the other lift that was smaller and had forks that extended, I'd be able to be more efficient, but no; the only machines I could use were the huge lifts that are barely able to maneuver in the narrow fucking aisles and the order picker, which is basically a standing lift with a small tray-sized platform that you could place stuff on and lower it back down. That thing was kinda fun because it had controlls that kinda felt like piloting a mech and it was fast as hell.

Fast forward a few days and a few hours into my shift the supervisor tells me that I'm being let go and he hands me my last check and a pamphlet for unemployment benefits. No reasoning, just that I'm gone. Probably because I was "working too slow" and would leave when I felt like it, but I could give two shits; they never cared about me and I was tired of working under those unreasonable conditions. I manage keep my composure and start heading out, telling the few friends that I made there that I was fired; they wished me well and said I'd move onto something better. No shit. Once I get to my car, I burst out crying, trying to comprehend the gravity of my situation. I text my girlfriend and she asks if I want to come over to her house; I do partly because I needed the emotional support and partly because she was only 5 minutes away and my drive home would've been about 30 minutes. Honestly, I probably could've reported them to OSHA since they were in violation of god knows how many rules and regulations (hell, during the first week at the new warehouse, someone managed to destroy an entire bay: 3 shelves with 4 pallets each, totalling I believe over $6000 worth of product), but I just wanted to wash my hands of that place entirely. Since it was mid December, I decided to just take time to enjoy the holidays before looking for a new job, especially since I had made enough money there to keep myself afloat for about a month.

So, regarding the move, mom and I spent the last few years looking for places nearby for when the time came, but a lot of places were either in undesirable towns, were too expensive (this is Massachusetts; rent prices suck balls), or didn't meet our needs/standards. Ideally we were aiming to find a small house or even duplex to move into since we'd been in a 2-story, 3-bedroom house since January 2001, but we ended up settling for a 2-bedroom apartment in a small complex in Reading. It's been a bit of an adjustment for many reasons, but we've made it work. One of the biggest annoyances is that we don't have any laundry machines in our unit or even our building, so if we have to wash our clothes, we need to bring our stuff to one of the neighboring buildings that has a credit card-opperated laundry room with seven washers and 8 dryers. Kinda obnoxious to have to go through all that trouble and pay to do it, but condidering heat, hot water, and facility maintenance and snow removal are all covered in our rent (which is $1750/month), it's a small price to pay, I suppose.

Once we got all settled into the new place, I started job hunting again. For years I've wanted to do something technical, like be a plumber or maintenance engineer, but it's nigh impossible to find entry-level jobs like that. I somehow managed to find a job posting on Craigslist for a preventative maintenance engineer at a hotel in my old hometown of Woburn (ironically it's across from my old Dave & Busters), put in an application, and about a week later I had the job. Basically what I do is go through the guestrooms and make sure everything is in working order and is clean. I do about 2 rooms a day, repairing things as needed, be it electrical, plumbing, painting, or whatever else. I started back in early February of this year and in April the chief engineer was unceremoniously fired, leaving me as the sole engineer at the hotel. We had outside help come in periodically, but generally speaking I was the one keeping the place together until we hired a new chief this past October. I had to learn how to take care of an outdoor pool and how to take readings on it daily. I had to represent my hotel at engineer trainings normally meant for chiefs. Hell, I was very close to being promoted to chief myself until they found the new guy. But my efforts weren't in vain: our scores from our guest surveys for maintenance and upkeep were always above expectations and everyone at the hotel appreciate and respect what I do there. They raised my pay as high as they could go because of the amount of work I was putting in. My boss even got me two $75 tickets to a Ring of Honor show since he was a wrestling fan like myself. I think it's safe to say that I definitely bounced back from Fitzgerald.

I guess that about wraps things up. It's currently two weeks until Christmas, so I've got that to look forward to. I'd apologize for the lengthy rant, but I think that's par for the course on my blog. Again, if you're new (or even if you're not), feel free to leave a comment, note, message, or whatever and let me know what brought you to my blog or if there's any questions, comments, or suggestions for things that I could discuss. I figure I've been away from this thing for a long time, why not be a bit more active. Anyways, that's all I got for now. Hope y'all are well; take care of yourself!

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - Gen 7 Retrospective

That's at least a little more sizable than the XY generation was. Granted we have some Alolan Forms to help inflate the numbers a bit. Sure, if you were to count Gen 6′s Mega Evolutions, Gen 7 would be the actual smallest Gen to date. But remember what I said last generation's recap with how Gamefreak seemed to be taking a “quality over quantity” approach for that generation? That mentality seems to be back in full force here. 'Cause we're looking at my second favorite Gen right behind Gen 5.

I did bring up that Gen 6 was my third favorite generation in terms of the new, numerical Pokemon introduced. What has Alola muscle over it is how it's crammed as much inventiveness into the designs as they could think. The starters, the Legendaries/Kinda-Legendary Ultra Beasts, even the common fodder Pokemon have a little more going on than their typical ilk. And even some of the more boring designs like Oranguru and Passimian have interesting battle mechanics by changing the way you can approach double battles entirely on their own.

That also seemed to be a focus this generation. Not all of course, but a lot of the new Pokemon seemed to be based on different gameplay interactions and having unique abilities or signature moves. Between Salandit's Corrosion to Minior's Shields Down to Mimikyu's Disguise to Toucannon's Beak Blast and to Toxipex's Baneful Bunker. They really tried taking a shot at making each Pokemon have something unique to bring to battles. They even essentially made a more tournament-rules friendly alternative to Arceus in Silvally.

But there's a little subject more contentious about Gen 7 than the Pokemon, of course. That being the games themselves, which feel like they got the fandom split. I like Sun and Moon, but even I'll admit Gamefreak's gotta try a little harder for Gen 8. All the inventive things they've tried from a gameplay perspective ultimately don't change much. The game still had an 8-mini-act structure just like the Gym games. HMs getting replaced with Ride Pokemon is nice, but is still the same mechanic with different dressing. The biggest changes in the usual story structure don't even matter that much, the biggest change feeling like you get to know the region's Legendary Pokemon from the very start in the form of Nebby. Otherwise, it's just A Little Bit Better Written Than Usual. Y'know, not that Pokemon games tend to be master classes in writing anyway, its only real competition there being Black and White's story. (And even then, Sun and Moon's in desperate need of a Skip Cutscene button.)

Then there’s the Let’s Go games, which I suppose are technically Gen 7 games. Those got even more divisive. Some love it, others hate it. I personally just find it boring as a rather dumbed down remake of the Kanto games, only really playing because it was an excuse to use Melmetal. There’s some neat things in there that I wouldn’t mind seeing implemented in the main series (namely overworld-wandering Pokemon and AVs replacing EVs.) Just please keep the very poorly implemented Go-imitating catch mechanics as far away from the main series as possible.

Pokemon’s also starting to get more competition recently as well. Other than Digimon of course. Ni No Kuni, eventually Tem Tem, of course, the rise of the mighty Yokai Watch, which to my understanding, has been wrecking Pokemon in terms of sale numbers in their home region. Each of them implementing monster-catching RPG mechanics in their own unique way. I can’t speak for Yokai Watch, but Ni No Kuni is a lot more like a traditional JRPG, with the monsters being familiars that still fight in battle, but the trainers themselves also participate in the battle as well! And Tem Tem, while very much like Pokemon, is giving it more of an MMO angle. While I’m not one to shout about how much Pokemon just NEEDS to make an MMO with ALL THE REGIONS already, I am interested in seeing where TemTem winds up. It IS a Kickstarter game that made way more than it asked for, but as we know from a certain Strong Numerical Value That Is One Less Than Ten, that’s no guarantee it’ll be amazing. But worth keeping an eye on. It still has the potential to be something Gamefreak’s gonna have to watch out for.

Whether I like these other games or not, I appreciate that they exist, because they mean that sooner or later Gamefreak's gonna have to get their ass in gear and do something about it. I'm really getting burnt out on a new Pokemon game coming out literally every year. What I've wanted more than ever is for Gamefreak to at least take a hiatus from the yearly releases to have the game that comes after said break to really kick it out of the park. I get that the Ultra games probably didn't take up much development time and from my understanding Let's Go was made by a whole different team, so those games coming out in the years between Sun and Moon and Sword and Shield might not have much bearing on the latter's quality, but still. Pokemon's not had a major mechanical update since they introduced Abilities in Gen 3. I just hope Gen 8 does something interesting or has some form of major mechanical overhaul. Not asking Pokemon battles to be in real time or anything. Just some new Super Forms and powerful one-off moves aren’t gonna cut it for me. After over 20 years of Pokemoning and on, what, year 8 of a new Pokemon game coming out every year? I'm a little bit fatigued.

...Okay, let's end this on a better note than that.

I AM still exciting to see what Gen 8 has to offer, and I hope they mean it when they say they're trying something different. And of course, I'm ALWAYS gonna be excited to see some more new Pokemon. Gens 5, 6, and 7 are proving they're nowhere close to being out of steam yet, and I can't wait to see more Gen 8 Pokemon come our way in the coming months.

Top 10 Favorites of Gen 7:

Dangit this is hard. So many to love! So many new super-duper-tippity-top favorites!! Shout outs to Palossand, Silvally, Salandit, Xurkitree, and Buzzwole. There's just too many good'ens!!!!

Bottom 10 Least Favorite of Gen 7:

Amazingly, the only Pokemon here I really “dislike” is Zeraora. The rest are just that cherry-picked handful of Alolan Pokemon I don't really care that much about. Hurray!

Bottom 10 Least Favorite Overall:

Almost got through with no new additions. Almost.

The Cutest:

God this Generation was good for Pokemon I just want to pick up and hug. Or in Mimikyu's case, get horrendously murdered by because I got a little too close to taking its rag off. And I'd still say “Thanks.”

The Coolest:

The Prettiest:

The Spookiest:

This gen was really good to scratch a Halloweeny itch. A BUNCH of cool new ghosts, complete with the eerie head leech Pokemon I never would’ve suspected would make it into Pokemon!

Most Creative:

Weirdest/Most Unique:

This section here could've been filled with Ultra Beasts alone if I really wanted to, haha.

Most Forgettable:

Magearna is here not necessarily because I think the design is forgettable, but gee wizz I keep thinking it's not a Gen 7 Pokemon.

Most Personality:

Here's a new section! Gen 7 had a lot of personality-based designs, so there was actually a fair bit of competition for a slot like this. Buzzwole and Bewear are just hilarious, and I'm still thoroughly impressed with Meltan. They managed to cram so much adorable personality into such a simple design. And I’ll eat my hat the day we get a Pokemon more smug than Salandit.

Most Under-Appreciated:

Poor Stakataka keeps getting dismissed because of its bad typing... not that I can blame anyone because Rock/Steel is easily the most boring of all the UB typings, especially when we had room to have a Ghostly duo between it and Blacephalon to have us our first Rock/Ghost type!

Most Long Overdue Concepts:

Seriously, how'd it take 7 generations to get a wolf and a mosquito? Let alone 6 generations to finally get a second MANTIS and traditional horse Pokemon?! As far as spooky Pokemon go, you'd think a shipwreck would be one of the easier and more obvious concepts to go after, even if the one we finally got didn't take the form I expected it to. And Araquanid's just here because a fully evolved BUG/WATER was a long time frickin coming.

Best Regional Variants:

At least I'm naming the category that way because Regional Variants better be a series mainstay from now on!! These are the Alolan Forms with the most fun alternate take on their original forms. And Vulpix and Ninetales are there because fox solidarity.

Best Ultra Beasts:

Again, I really hope Ultra Beasts won't be an Alola-Only thing. I want to avoid talking about Gen 8 spoilers to be considerate of anyone that wants to avoid those, but a certain image carved into the ground in a particular scene has me hoping Ultra Beasts might be returning. And that Xurkitree could have a big brother in the near future. There's hardly much basis because said carving could literally be anything, but. Please.

Anyway, I love the Ultra Beasts as a concept of extra-dimensional alien beings. Some sell the look of freaky aliens better, especially ones like Nihilego, Xurkitree, Kartana, and Celesteela. But nonetheless, these 6 are my favorites out of our roster. HOPEFULLY so far.

Pokemon That Should’ve Gotten Alolan Forms:

I tend to agree that limiting Alolan Forms to Gen 1 Pokemon only was a silly thing to do, but even minding that, I feel like there was crazy amounts of missed potential here. Seel and Dewgong just desperately need some fresh attention to stop being Pokemon’s more forgettable critters. While I suppose Lapras and Tentacruel are excusable given they’re sea dwellers regardless, I totally wouldn’t mind electric jellyfish versions of the Tentas, or even a Kracken-based form for the former. This was also MORE than an opportunity to redeem Dragonite with a more Dragonair-like variant. And some tropical jungle variations of Paras and Venonat would be neat. I’m just saying, a Venomoth turned into more of a Tropical Hawkmoth would’ve been killer.

And Parasect hurts the most. You’re telling you’re gonna have Parasect inhabit this jungle area along with another, brand new mushroom Pokemon. AND you’re gonna introduce the concept of Gen 1 Pokemon taking on new forms based on the new and radically different habitats in Alola. And you’re just NOT gonna place some glowing mushrooms on their backs, turn them pale white, and call them Bug/Fairy types?!?!?! Hello?!?!!??!?

...Oh, am I forgetting something?

Top 50 Favorites Overall:

...Surprise! Yeah, just sorta decided “why not?” This is our last Gen for the rest of the year, so let's end it on a “Look At All My Favorites!” type of a bang. Also because it pained me to see all these not make it to some sort of Top Favorites highlight. And of course, they might not be 100% consistent with scores or previous Top 10 favorites. I'm only a human with a finicky brain that is constantly changing how absolutely precisely I feel about every single one of these. 

And... that's it... that's every single Pokemon reviewed. Every single Gen Recapped. We've had lots of ups and downs and plenty of getting a little too excited about cartoon animals. Gen 8 is still a ways away, and even when it comes out, I'd like to wait a few months to let the new designs settle into my mind before I go writing opinion pieces on all of them. And of course, for official artwork to be out for everybody.

BUT I do have a handful of ways to pass the time until Gen 8 does come out... What's up next exactly? Well, we won't have to wait too long, thankfully...

[Archive]

#Pokemon #Gen 7 #Pokemon Reviews

[bvtterflyeffectxx-a]

♡ ━ BABY #3. ( pt. 1 )

━ 2009 ; VICTORIA'S FOURTH THERAPY SESSION.                                                                            [ click here for part 2. ] "How are you feeling today, Victoria?" She contemplates on how best to answer this question. The truth was, she knew what this particular session was going to lead to. She'd been relatively strong throughout these last few sessions with little to no tears... but this, this was going to weigh heavily on her heart. And not for reasons one might assume. "Nervous. Kind of shitty, actually." She laughs. "Did something else happen since last week?" "Well," She begins, thinking back to an argument with her daughter. DC was still controlling things from behind bars. It was incredible how he managed. The man might have been the world's biggest asshole but he was far more intelligent than he was given credit for. "Declan has started writing letters to Dorothea now that I changed the phone number. She got one in the mail last Wednesday and when I asked to read it first, she freaked out on me. I'm not trying to cut off contact between her and her father. God no, I would never..."As much as she would like to do just that, Victoria couldn't. She just didn't have it in her to cut him out of their childrens' lives, even if it would be in everyone's best interest for her to. Ransom had already cut ties on his own accord, but Dottie... Dottie loved DC. "But... I know what he does, I know how he tries to paint me as the villain to her and given that she's a teenager, she really doesn't need helping easing into the 'I hate my mom!' stage. It was like, a proof read, I guess. Just to make sure he wasn't saying anything that could warrant her hating me. I realize how invasive that seems but I don't know. Turns out, I became the villain anyway." There's silence. "If Declan told her that he hung the moon and stars in the sky, she'd believe him. Dottie hangs on his every word and I don't know how to break her of that. There's a rift between us and I've been trying desperately to pull her back in, y'know? I'm at a loss, really." "I can see how that would be difficult. Do you think we can discuss what we started to last week?" Victoria laughs. "Are you ever gonna help me with my problems in present time rather than dwelling on my past?" "Victoria, the purpose of discussing your past with Declan is so that we can dissect the root of the problem. How it began, why it progressed the way it did. I'm trying to understand his mindset and what he put you through. Does that make sense?" "He's not your patient, but if you haven't learned by now ━ he's an asshole who got off on making me miserable. What else is there to even talk about? We'll be here for years if I tell you every single thing he's ever done to me." She was avoiding and wasting time, which Dr. Larkin could see right through. "Is there a reason you don't want to discuss this particular topic?" "I just━I just don't wanna talk about this because it hurts too much." "The fact that he━" "No, no that. Something else. What happened before that." She's uncomfortable and it shows in the way her eyes are scanning the room and avoiding eye contact with the doctor. She's trying to hide the tears in her eyes as her mind wanders to something she wishes to forget but never will. After several moments of silence between them, Victoria looks at Dr. Larkin and begins her story. On the year Dottie turned five years old, I found out that I was pregnant again.I didn't tell him for two whole weeks after I found out because we weren't exactly on the best of terms. Even after the revelation of his affair and my attempts to cater to his needs, I felt like he was becoming more of a roommate than my husband. Between my shifts at the hospital and taking care of the kids, we only saw each other in passing most days because he spent most of his time at the 'clubhouse'. "Clubhouse?" Dr. Larkin interrupts. "Did you forget? He's part of a 'motor━cycle━club'," Air quotes around the words motorcycle club as she speaks. "Really hardcore." Anyway, I know that some people think a baby is going to fix what's broken but I really didn't. I thought that telling him would lead to even bigger problems between us. I felt like our 'love', or the illusion of love, was fading. A baby didn't seem like the solution. "Turns out, I was wrong. Are you starting to see the pattern here? Every time I think I know what to expect, he just switches it up on me." So, it took me almost a month, actually, to uh━tell him I was pregnant after I found out. It was actually Christmas Eve when I finally told him and trust me, my timing was not meant to be romantic and it wasn't planned that way. It just so happened that Christmas is my second favorite holiday, so, between eggnog and Christmas music and wrapping presents for the kids ━ I was really happy and in being really happy, that gave me a little bit of courage. So, telling him was a lot like 'Hey, I'm pregnant! Merry Christmas!'. Dr. Larkin interrupted her storytelling once again, "How did you feel about the baby after realizing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing?" "When I saw he wasn't angry with me, I was a little surprised. Like I said, I was really expecting the worst because that's the side of him I saw most often. I didn't really know how to feel initially, but..." She shrugged. "I always thought I would have a shit-ton of kids. I believe everyone is put on this earth for a reason and I always felt like being a mother was my purpose. My calling, I guess. Him not being angry about it, helped ease me into the idea of having a third child. Eventually, I became very attached and that didn't really take very long either." "Did things in your marriage improve after that? Or how did it change the course of your relationship?" "For starters..." Declan actually started spending more time with us. He was very adamant about me getting my rest and the only thing we fought about was my desire to continue working. He insisted that it wasn't good for the baby, but you see, he'd tried this several times before when I wasn't expecting. He didn't want me to work and I think that he saw the opportunity to make me quit by involving our unborn child. My job was the one place that brought complete satisfaction. I loved it and I loved to take care of people. I was good at it, very good at it. This was the one thing I refused to let him take from me but that didn't stop him from trying. I did eventually take a leave when I was about seven months pregnant, doctor's orders. I was put on bed rest because surprise! I was pregnant with twins. Two boys. Pregnancies with twins are a bit high risk to begin with, so it was better to be safe than sorry. I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy being waited on hand and foot, but at the same time, it was very difficult for me to obey orders when my natural instinct is to take care of my family.  Ransom and Dottie were just as excited to be getting two new little brothers as I was. As DC seemingly was. Everything, for the first time in a long time, felt so completely right. But then━ She's misty-eyed when she looks down at her hands that are sitting in her lap. It's been a long time since she's allowed her mind to go here, in such detail. Though, her babies were never too far from her thoughts. Especially when she was alone. "I'm sorry," She wipes away the tears.  "It's okay, take your time." ━I uh, I went into labor two weeks before my due date. I was happy, I was scared. I don't remember much about it, but I remember... I was waiting to hear them cry. Just that very first... cry just to know they were okay.... but I never heard it. I asked him, I begged him to tell me why they weren't crying. And you know... for the first time, I swear... I saw a little, little hint of emotion on his face. It was like... if you blinked, you'd miss it, but I saw it. And I just started wailing because I knew... I knew my babies were dead.                                                                                       

#♡ » drabble / ( writing. )

[vicstoriies]

2009.

"How are you feeling today, Victoria?" She contemplates on how best to answer this question. The truth was, she knew what this particular session was going to lead to. She'd been relatively strong throughout these last few sessions with little to no tears... but this, this was going to weigh heavily on her heart. And not for reasons one might assume. "Nervous. Kind of shitty, actually." She laughs. "Did something else happen since last week?" "Well," She begins, thinking back to an argument with her daughter. DC was still controlling things from behind bars. It was incredible how he managed. The man might have been the world's biggest asshole but he was far more intelligent than he was given credit for. "Declan has started writing letters to Dorothea now that I changed the phone number. She got one in the mail last Wednesday and when I asked to read it first, she freaked out on me. I'm not trying to cut off contact between her and her father. God no, I would never..."As much as she would like to do just that, Victoria couldn't. She just didn't have it in her to cut him out of their childrens' lives, even if it would be in everyone's best interest for her to. Ransom had already cut ties on his own accord, but Dottie... Dottie loved DC. "But... I know what he does, I know how he tries to paint me as the villain to her and given that she's a teenager, she really doesn't need helping easing into the 'I hate my mom!' stage. It was like, a proof read, I guess. Just to make sure he wasn't saying anything that could warrant her hating me. I realize how invasive that seems but I don't know. Turns out, I became the villain anyway." There's silence. "If Declan told her that he hung the moon and stars in the sky, she'd believe him. Dottie hangs on his every word and I don't know how to break her of that. There's a rift between us and I've been trying desperately to pull her back in, y'know? I'm at a loss, really." "I can see how that would be difficult. Do you think we can discuss what we started to last week?" Victoria laughs. "Are you ever gonna help me with my problems in present time rather than dwelling on my past?" "Victoria, the purpose of discussing your past with Declan is so that we can dissect the root of the problem. How it began, why it progressed the way it did. I'm trying to understand his mindset and what he put you through. Does that make sense?" "He's not your patient, but if you haven't learned by now ━ he's an asshole who got off on making me miserable. What else is there to even talk about? We'll be here for years if I tell you every single thing he's ever done to me." She was avoiding and wasting time, which Dr. Larkin could see right through. "Is there a reason you don't want to discuss this particular topic?" "I just━I just don't wanna talk about this because it hurts too much." "The fact that he━" "No, no that. Something else. What happened before that." She's uncomfortable and it shows in the way her eyes are scanning the room and avoiding eye contact with the doctor. She's trying to hide the tears in her eyes as her mind wanders to something she wishes to forget but never will. After several moments of silence between them, Victoria looks at Dr. Larkin and begins her story. On the year Dottie turned five years old, I found out that I was pregnant again.I didn't tell him for two whole weeks after I found out because we weren't exactly on the best of terms. Even after the revelation of his affair and my attempts to cater to his needs, I felt like he was becoming more of a roommate than my husband. Between my shifts at the hospital and taking care of the kids, we only saw each other in passing most days because he spent most of his time at the 'clubhouse'. "Clubhouse?" Dr. Larkin interrupts. "Did you forget? He's part of a 'motor━cycle━club'," Air quotes around the words motorcycle club as she speaks. "Really hardcore." Anyway, I know that some people think a baby is going to fix what's broken but I really didn't. I thought that telling him would lead to even bigger problems between us. I felt like our 'love', or the illusion of love, was fading. A baby didn't seem like the solution. "Turns out, I was wrong. Are you starting to see the pattern here? Every time I think I know what to expect, he just switches it up on me." So, it took me almost a month, actually, to uh━tell him I was pregnant after I found out. It was actually Christmas Eve when I finally told him and trust me, my timing was not meant to be romantic and it wasn't planned that way. It just so happened that Christmas is my second favorite holiday, so, between eggnog and Christmas music and wrapping presents for the kids ━ I was really happy and in being really happy, that gave me a little bit of courage. So, telling him was a lot like 'Hey, I'm pregnant! Merry Christmas!'. Dr. Larkin interrupted her storytelling once again, "How did you feel about the baby after realizing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing?" "When I saw he wasn't angry with me, I was a little surprised. Like I said, I was really expecting the worst because that's the side of him I saw most often. I didn't really know how to feel initially, but..." She shrugged. "I always thought I would have a shit-ton of kids. I believe everyone is put on this earth for a reason and I always felt like being a mother was my purpose. My calling, I guess. Him not being angry about it, helped ease me into the idea of having a third child. Eventually, I became very attached and that didn't really take very long either." "Did things in your marriage improve after that? Or how did it change the course of your relationship?" "For starters..." Declan actually started spending more time with us. He was very adamant about me getting my rest and the only thing we fought about was my desire to continue working. He insisted that it wasn't good for the baby, but you see, he'd tried this several times before when I wasn't expecting. He didn't want me to work and I think that he saw the opportunity to make me quit by involving our unborn child. My job was the one place that brought complete satisfaction. I loved it and I loved to take care of people. I was good at it, very good at it. This was the one thing I refused to let him take from me but that didn't stop him from trying. I did eventually take a leave when I was about seven months pregnant, doctor's orders. I was put on bed rest because surprise! I was pregnant with twins. Two boys. Pregnancies with twins are a bit high risk to begin with, so it was better to be safe than sorry. I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy being waited on hand and foot, but at the same time, it was very difficult for me to obey orders when my natural instinct is to take care of my family.  Ransom and Dottie were just as excited to be getting two new little brothers as I was. As DC seemingly was. Everything, for the first time in a long time, felt so completely right. But then━ She's misty-eyed when she looks down at her hands that are sitting in her lap. It's been a long time since she's allowed her mind to go here, in such detail. Though, her babies were never too far from her thoughts. Especially when she was alone. "I'm sorry," She wipes away the tears.  "It's okay, take your time." ━I uh, I went into labor two weeks before my due date. I was happy, I was scared. I don't remember much about it, but I remember... I was waiting to hear them cry. Just that very first... cry just to know they were okay.... but I never heard it. I asked him, I begged him to tell me why they weren't crying. And you know... for the first time, I swear... I saw a little, little hint of emotion on his face. It was like... if you blinked, you'd miss it, but I saw it. And I just started wailing because I knew... I knew my babies were dead.

#｢❀ ♡ * ｣ DRABBLE » victoria&declan. #｢❀ ♡ * ｣ DRABBLE » victoria&antoinette. #｢❀ ♡ * ｣ DRABBLE » therapy sessions.

[kayla-turpin]

My Favourite Articles of 2019

Normally, I try to post this as the year is careening to the end, but 2019 was a bit different and I am posting this a month late. I started 2019 with the New Years Resolution to read an article a day. Part of the motivation was to break the habit of mindlessly scrolling Reddit right before bed and be more intentional with my reading habits. The other part was just to see if I could stick to a daily habit. It seemed low-stakes - I already enjoy consuming stories in the longform format and I knew it would take up a marginal slice of time in my day.I didn’t set out with any specific rules, but some did form as the year progressed:

I did not need to limit myself to articles that came out this year - I could delve into the archives and find articles that peaked my interest depending on the mood I was in.

Articles should generally be considered journalistic in nature, but there was no particular length. I generally tried to aim for anything over 10 minutes. I would say the average read time was about 20-25 minutes.

I could read at any point of the day. I occasionally read in the morning, but I would say 90% of the time I read at night.

For tracking purposes, I would use Pocket. As a result, most printed articles went unread.

I am happy to report that I read. I read every single day. Some days were harder than others: I definitely remember one night coming home from the bar and trying to focus on a Zadie Smith article about Graham Greene while the ceiling started to spin.  Or moving into my new home and squinting into the light of my phone on a mattress on the floor, no internet and surrounded by towers of boxes. I read quietly to myself the evening follow my uncle’s funeral.  I read surrounded by sleeping colleagues after a night out in Denver. I read in coffee shops, on planes, next to the river, on long car rides, on my sister’s pull-out, but mostly from my bed. I read for days on multiple subjects, largely determined by whatever rabbit hole I had fallen into - Chernobyl, MH370, Dirty John, adult friendships, self-help columns, spooky houses, and wacky science discoveries. I read a lot of true crime. I would sometimes take the opportunity to stay abreast on current events.

This goal itself wasn’t revolutionary or life-changing - but I am mostly proud of the fact that I was able to maintain the discipline to do it every day. This year, I am going to maintain the same trajectory but shift over to books with 1-2 days of dedicated time for longform.

Anyway, without further ado, here are some articles I loved* this year!

10. I Accidentally Uncovered a Nationwide Scam on AirBnB - Allie Conti (Vice)

I would be remiss if I didn’t include this article for the sole reason that my colleagues and I were scammed by the same scam! Not entirely, since we SSDGS (stayed sexy and didn’t get scammed), but we initially booked with the exact same fake listing. 

The bad news, which went unstated, was that I had unknowingly stumbled into a nationwide web of deception that appeared to span eight cities and nearly 100 property listings—an undetected scam created by some person or organization that had figured out just how easy it is to exploit Airbnb’s poorly written rules in order to collect thousands of dollars through phony listings, fake reviews, and, when necessary, intimidation.

9. The Tinder Swindler - Natalie Remøe Hansen, Kristoffer Kumar, Erlend Ofte Arntsen (VG)

The UX design of longform articles has vastly improved and this article takes full of advantage – I’d suggest reading it for the interactivity alone. Also, I am already sensing a rhythm to this list, one of true crime and elaborate schemes and unsuspecting rubes.

8. Worked at Vice Then Went to Jail - Kate Knibbs (The Ringer)

This article is scattered with a bunch of ‘six degrees of separation’ vibes from people quoted in the article to the geographical snapshot of the Vice office and the borders of Liberty Village and Parkdale. It’s weird thinking that this story was developing blocks away from where I was binge-watching Scandal and eating muffins from The Abbott. 

Slava says he wound up in touch with people who were in touch with people who, somewhere along the line, ran a transnational drug trafficking ring organized enough to move humans who smuggled millions of dollars’ worth of product around the globe because he was sick of writing about Canadian music. “I really exhausted the pipeline of potential content,” he said. He’d noticed other writers in the Canadian office get praised for daring reporting, particularly one coworker who’d managed to get a source within ISIS. Pivoting to crime writing sounded exciting.”

7. The Fisherman’s Secret - Giuseppe Pennisi (San Francisco Chronicle)

The deep sea is deeply fa-sea-nating. Ok, that was nau-sea-ating. Ok, I’ll stop. In any case, this article reads like a contemporary treasure hunt. Did you know you like learning about maritime law? 

Well, you do now.Joe was about to learn this for himself. It was the biggest secret he had ever needed to keep. So big that he was compelled to just blurt it out. So big it could put his family in danger. And it felt like destiny. He’d come to know it only because of the particular way he fished, the same way his father had, and his grandfather — trawling the ocean floor.He had spent his life on the water, yet when it came to treasure, he was a rank amateur. But he knew something the experts didn’t.Joe knew, within a tiny circle of the Pacific, where a treasure might be.

6. What Really Happened to Malaysia’s Missing Airplane - William Langeweische (The Atlantic)

We will likely never know the answer to this – but this theoretical account, at least, feels close to the truth. 

Eleven minutes later, as the airplane closed in on a waypoint near the start of Vietnamese air-traffic jurisdiction, the controller at Kuala Lumpur Center radioed, “Malaysian three-seven-zero, contact Ho Chi Minh one-two-zero-decimal-nine. Good night.” Zaharie answered, “Good night. Malaysian three-seven-zero.” He did not read back the frequency, as he should have, but otherwise the transmission sounded normal. It was the last the world heard from MH370. The pilots never checked in with Ho Chi Minh or answered any of the subsequent attempts to raise them.

5. The Strange Life and Mysterious Death of a Virtuoso Coder - Brendan I. Koener (Wired)

Despite the tragic turn-of-events elucidated in the title, the article is an interesting foray into the life of an enigmatic individual with a raw talent in a language I know little about (despite operating professionally in tech space).

There were occasions, however, when Haas would temporarily shake off the druggy haze and dazzle with his brilliance. Mark Yannitell recalls that Haas figured out how to dramatically improve an open source video encoder so that it could crunch multimegabyte files in a matter of minutes rather than hours. Yannitell urged his friend to capitalize on his achievement, but Haas hemmed and hawed before dropping the project altogether.“He was like Cypher from The Matrix—y'know, ‘You see code, but I see brunettes and redheads,’ ” Yannitell says. “But when he reached that genius moment, when he was on the cusp of some big idea that could maybe change the world, he got nervous.”

4. The Most Gullible Man in Cambridge - Kera Bolonik (The Cut)

I guffawed all the way through this article. Be sure to read the follow-up, because the ride doesn’t stop.

That could help explain why warning signs that might have been obvious to many managed to elude a man who teaches a Harvard Law class on “Judgment and Decision-Making,” which analyzes those elements of human nature that allow us to delude ourselves and make terrible decisions. “Of course, now I feel slightly ridiculous teaching it,” Hay told me, “given how easily I let myself be taken advantage of.”

3. The Stolen Kids of Sarah Lawrence - Ezra Marcus (The Cut)

Another unbelievable story that operates in the shadow of the ivory tower. This story is unsettling, with elements of Dirty John in the methodically-manipulative-yet-charsmatic nature of Larry Ray, the father of one of the students living in the dorm.

Larry’s core program of personal transformation happened on nights they stayed in. After a late dinner, everyone would gather in the living room for a marathon discussion in which the group interrogated one person about anything and everything. Usually, the person being questioned had landed in the hot seat because he or she had done something Larry didn’t like. Trivial mistakes, such as scratching a pan or breaking a plate, were considered intentional manifestations of childhood trauma. The group session’s purpose, Larry explained, was to reveal deep personal truths.

2. Chaos at the Top of the World - Joshua Hammer (GQ)

There will always be places on this earth, especially spaces that push the boundaries of the extreme, that will always have a magical quality. The deep recesses of the ocean, the cusp of the Kármán line, the long stretch of polar landscape. Stories of Everest are no exception, as they always feel heroic and adventurous. This article examines the ever-growing popularity and the danger that ensues.

He swiftly identified the problem: a woman in a red climbing suit adorned with the emblems of a Chinese mountaineering group perched just before the drop-off, unwilling to go forward. The woman's two Sherpa guides were firmly encouraging her to descend the ladder, but she remained paralyzed in apparent fear. For those in the logjam behind her, there was no going around. Everybody was stuck, freezing in the storm.

1. Gimme Shelter - Wes Enzinna (Harper’s)

It goes without saying as I listed it as #1, but this was my favourite read by a long-shot. Longform journalism can be riveting due to the subject matter alone, but can also be so well-written that even describing the confines of a small shack in an unremarkable backyard in Oakland can make your chest feel heavy. This article contained an unexpected callback – I happened to read an article that was tangentially related a couple of years ago that filled in some of the colour. I recommend starting there.

It rained. First for days, then for weeks. The yard filled up with a quarter foot of water, as if somewhere a levee had collapsed, and the heads of coyote mint and monkey flower became lily pads. At night, ghosts of mist rose from the pools, and inside my shack I could see my breath, even with my space heater turned to ten. The power flickered. To use the toilet or kitchen in Erik’s house I dashed through the mud, high-stepping, and returned to the shack soaked and shivering. There was nowhere to sit or lie other than my mattress, so I spent most nights pupated in my sleeping bag, the zipper under my chin, the space heater tucked under the covers with me as I watched the rain fall outside and the waterline creep slowly up the walls.

Honourable mentions

(*I kept the Top 10 list to strictly articles from 2019, but here’s some highlights from the temporal smorgasbord of content available)

Made me feel a little homesick for the streets of Toronto: The Woman Who Built Queen West

If you want to ball your eyes out: The Unthinkable Has Happened

Friends writing and doing cool things: Wonders and Wanders Along The Way

2 Spooky 4 U (Ghost edition): The Murder House

2 Spooky 4 U (Stalker edition): The Watcher

Calling Keith Morrison to come narrate this story immediately: The Body in Room 348

Fitbits aren’t just counting steps anymore: A Brutal Murder, a Wearable Witness, and an Unlikely Suspect

Never forget: When P!nk was Black

If you could get ASMR from reading words: David Chang’s Unified Theory of Deliciousness

Be still, my 1999 tween heart: ‘Cruel Intentions’ Oral History

I am actually obsessed with him, tho: Why Million of People Watch This Youtube Eat 50-year old Rations

A new (laughable) spin on remote work: My Life As a Robot

When music literally soundtracks important moments in your life: The Christmas Tape

The other side of that Aziz Ansari story: The Rise and Fall of Babe.net

Some expert level trolling: I Made My Shed the Top-Rated Restaurant on Trip Advisor

My dirty secret is my love for influencer drama: I Was Caroline Calloway

[dawnfletcherstuff]

The sky was gray, rumbling in the distance as a faint drizzle began above the outskirts of Sylvanas Town. Two figures walked side-by-side – the taller of the two being a blood elf sporting an especially fancy pair of sunglasses to complement some rad horns as well as a split felstalker bone mask around his collar. On his back was a small brown satchel of books that bounced precariously over the two vibrant pink draenite axes that were hooked onto his hips. Between his blonde pompadour and his odd vest, it was clear that this fellow was one odd customer indeed! That said, the man walking beside him was equally unusual- Lush hair with small, dark mushrooms growing in it was the perfect accentuation to this necrolyte's jaw of solidified shadow and five glowing ochre eyes. For that matter- his arms were a hybrid of shadows and vines.

The two, Armaleonis and Canthar, respectively, plodded forward through the gray mist, looking ahead, determined, but in good spirits, both smiling as they traveled West. As the Amani crypt colloquially known as the 'Tomb of Mystery' drew closer into view with every step, the rumbling in the sky intensified, leading the friends to hasten their pace to the unconventional shelter.

It was much darker in the tomb than it had been the last time- no loa-magic lanterns, no torches or even glowing mushrooms- further, it was silent, save for the slow dripping of a water leak deeper in. Had something happened since their last visit? The atmosphere was completely different, that much was for certain. While some might see an attack that nearly cost the pair their lives as undesirable, there  had been some good company, at least. This time, however, it truly lived up to its nature as a graveyard.  The two looked to each other, confused as they began to explore. “HEEEEEEEY!” Arma yelled into his cupped hand, pointed toward the deeper interior of the stone catacombs. “WHERE YOU AT, MUMMY DUDE?” Turning, he flinched a bit when he saw Canthar's displeased expression. With five eyes, the necrolyte could give a withering glare that may very well have been able to kill the recipient.

Before Canthar could get the opportunity to give his opinion on the matter, there was a long, agonizing wet noise that culminated in a thud behind them. They turned instantly, looking at what appeared to be a troll mummy in the dark. “Oh, S'tanky, you scared us.” Canthar said, breathing a sigh of relief- that is, until their eyes adapted to the low light and they realized what they were looking at was no troll mummy. It was some sort of creature that most closely resembled a jellyfish, bending itself into a trollish shape. Its body was rippling and swirling as a kaleidoscope-like rotation of colors and patterns quickly emanated from its goopy form, along a cloud of pheromones of some kind. The patterns were quick, even at the start, but at least they had some sort of sense- lines, colors- they began to move at a speed that made all of Canthar's eyes spin. While wordless, there was an undercurrent of chanting in some odd pseudo-language that accelerated as fast as the patterns upon its flesh.  The two had no chance and everything went black.

-

Armaleonis awoke in a cold sweat in the most comfortable bed he could ever remember sleeping in. He tilted his head as he wiped his eyes and yawned. Yeah, that was a bed. His bed? Wasn't he just in a tunnel or something?

He yawned again, gently tapping his forehead as he tried to make sense of the world. It was too early for this, he concluded. He lay himself back down and pulled up the covers, determined to look into it after another...oh, five minutes or so.

“WOOOOORF!”

He was not going to get that extra five minutes. On the one hand, he was mildly annoyed that he had to wake up at this moment, but on the other, he recognized that bark- the owner of which came running into the room with a wide open mouth and lolling tongue! “Roland!” Arma cried out, grinning as he sat up. Most people would have flinched when a giant timber wolf with rusty red fur leapt onto their bed and snuggled them, but not Armaleonis! No, he gave the big lout the biggest dog hug that he could manage. “I've missed you so so much buddy. Man....” “WORF!” The wolf was looking down at him as though he were crazy. Arma leaned back and looked at  the big beast and canted his head, as though expecting Roland to explain himself. In that moment, however, the wolf hopped down, made a sharp “Yip!” of urgency and ran out of his room, turning to yip at him again when he was slow to follow. Scratching his head, Armaleonis got up and followed his four-legged friend, who led him through a home that was bigger and more beautiful than any he remembered. Everything fell into place, however, once he passed the West Balcony- and was able to look into a star-filled sky that looked onto the Twisting Nether with alabaster bolts of lightning that tore across the sky. “This is...home?” He said, tilting his head. Another, slightly annoyed yip down the hall reminded him that the wolf was not the patient type, and thus the young blonde elf had to run to catch up. As he did, he found himself entering a forum, in the center of which there was a small series of tables- and most notably, two figures with food on their plates- as well as a third plate! Squinting, he could recognize them- even if his brain took a few moments to catch up- The black haired woman with her hair in a bun and the beige regal priest robes was none other than his mother, and the blonde man in sharp red and gold civil attire was his...father? He looked more closely at his father, head feeling like it was swimming through murk. Don't I have a Dad and a Not-Dad?

He tried to figure this out for a couple moments before his father got up and started walking toward him with a smile. 

“You coming to eat breakfast with your old man and your mother or are you gonna stand there til sunset, Leon?” When Armaleonis canted his head a bit, it looked on the one side like his father's hair was scruffy and cut short, but when he looked at him straight, it was as though his hair was perfectly in order and long. He shook it off, chalking it up to not being a morning person, and made his way over to the table, sitting down at the third seat. Roland was sitting next to his chair. He was a good boy. The best boy. His mother leaned on her left hand with a smile. “We thought you weren't going to be up til tonight with how hard you partied last night, Leon. You really ought to thank Roland- at least ONE of you remembered your date with that Ezekiel boy.” Armaleonis tapped his chin. “Ezeki.....Zeke?”

Suddenly, everything made sense to him! His face went red and he put his hands on his cheeks in near panic! “OH NO I'M GONNA BE LATE TO MY DATE! AAAAAAGH!” He immediately jumped up, grabbed a piece of toast, put the corner of it in his mouth and ran to his room to change.

His parents laughed as Roland looked on, panting in what may have been the canine version of a laugh.

As he rapidly changed from his heart-print pajamas into his favorite outfit- a long-sleeved shirt with a fantastic V-neck and fancy ruffles as well as ruffled wrists with slacks and sandals, something struck him as he looked in the mirror.

His eyes. They were...aquamarine.

Something about my eyes...they don't....well, I do have nice eyes.

He flashed himself a grin and nommed a bit of his toast. Mm, cinnamon. With a fist-pump of excitement, he leapt onto the railing and surfed it down to the ground, where he landed with a triple-flip. He waved to his parents and Roland with toast still in his mouth as he ran out to meet his date not too far from home!

Wy tidd feal zmy ydypylzid darvw za ittyez zmuw witruouty, za qujy zmy fdzupizy pyrth ul zmy flylvulq vryip. Gujy zmywy zsa zmy gryiz dirc myrth!  

Armaleonis scratched the back of his neck, squinting for a moment. “What was that?” He looked around as he walked, but nothing seemed to be making that noise. He shrugged it off, dashing to meet his date! The tall sin'dorei who was waiting for him was the ultimate ideal of cool- his hair was both wild and expressive, black as night and yet the style was all natural- no hair products necessary! Two large wings stuck out of his back and the lime green tattoos that were on his body, as well as his wicked horns and dragonlike tail swishing behind him made it clear that he was something exotic- a demon hunter! Arma bit his lip, nearly jumping in place, excited to see his date and friend. He didn't know what to say, and luckily, didn't need to say anything as Zeke hugged him firmly.

“You're late, y'know.” The demon hunter couldn't help but snerk at Arma's nature, even if he was late. “Good thing I like you that much, huh?” 

Arma's face was completely red as he gave the goofiest grin, fiddling his thumbs together. “W-well, yeah! Yeah! I owe you one! Yeah! So where did you have in mind that you wanted to go?” Zeke tapped his thumb to his chin and shrugged gently. “I was thinking we'd go to a nice place to look at the stars. I know you're gonna wanna stop by to check on your best pal on the way, though.” Armaleonis blinked a few times before nodding rapidly. “Yeah! Oh my gosh, you think of everything! That's why you're the best!” He then tapped his chin. “Well I mean you're the best for a bunch of reasons, from your considerate nature to your confidence and sense of humor and the fact that you're incredibly attractive and are a lot more wise than me and like spending time with me and such.” He babbled a bit, completely redfaced. Zeke merely rubbed the top of Arma's head and led the way. It didn't take long for them to get to their first destination- a large mansion with what looked to be a purple phoenix-print for the door. Tilting his head to look at the yard, he saw a young man who couldn't have been much older than himself practicing dance moves in the backyard. Recognizing him, he waved frantically. “PURPS! OH MY GOSH PURPS! PUUUUUUUURPS!” He waved, jumping up and down for visibility. His date couldn't help but snicker at his enthusiasm.

Across the fence, the young man froze up when Arma cried out, but instead of looking embarrassed, made a beeline right for the gate and opened it at a brisk pace, waving at Arma in return. 

“LEON! HEY! BUDDY! PAL! BUD! MY BEST FRIEND! HEY!” His pal, Purps, was looking extra nice today- definitely alive, for starters. His hair was almost fuschia and he had the biggest grin on his face. “I am so glad you stopped by!” He said, hugging Arma gently.

Armaleonis returned the gesture and looked his best pal over. “You are looking really healthy and happy! I'm so glad that you're in one piece and have never fucked my father which means it's okay for me to have a mild attraction to you but not too much because I am your best friend and brotherish figure sort of it's weird but bear with me I'm glad you're you and that's what matters!” Purps nodded. “Yeah man! That's exactly right! Hey, I would love to stick around, but I'm gonna have dinner with my folks! They just got back from a trip and they missed me a whole bunch! I'll hit you up later, okay?” Armaleonis flashed Purps a thumbs up. “Tell me how it goes man!” And with that, he turned toward Zeke with a grin. “Man, you are the best! You made a great day even better!”

Kyye afr witruoutyw kaflv za zmy kditc pyrth! wy'ry qaulq za witruouty zmy aly lipyv cilzmir ourwz!

Armaleonis blinked a few times. Did Zeke say that? Nah. Couldn't have been.  The two made their way to their favorite hilltop and lay down together to look at the stars. Getting comfortable and snuggling together with Zeke, Arma smiled.

“This has been the best day ever. I don't know why, but everything just feels...right. I mean, I feel comfortable here with you, and we got to visit my best pal Purps, and my parents are happy together, and I'm healthy and....man. I'm so lucky to be here with you.”

Zeke looked at him warmly and gently brushed a stray hair away from in front of Arma's face.

“This can go on forever, you know.”

Something about his voice sounded off, but Arma did everything in his power to not care. He was happy. This was all that mattered. This was...his perfect world.

As he was lost in thought, something blocked the stars. Shaking his head, he recognized it once his eyes adjusted- it was Roland. Gently moving the wolf out of the way, he sat up and looked into the wolf's eyes. The beast looked at him with a gaze that said everything, wordless as he was.

“Something just ain’t righ...oh Light. You...you died a while back, didn't you, buddy?” Arma asked, breath suddenly tight in his chest. Those eyes looked like they were apologizing to him, grateful to see him, but with a dire warning. The wolf gently set his head on Arma's shoulder and whined.

Gyz zmy clujyw ryivh! wuzm zmywy, sy sudd kulv Canthar za zmy bdulv ezyrluzuyw vorv qiul qryiz easyr!

Armaleonis looked up- it was as though, beyond the stars, in the sky, there was some sort of glass dome over his world that he could now see through. He saw several troll cultists standing overhead, knives drawn above his pal Canthar.

Dream-Zeke's hand gently rested on his shoulder.

“You don't have to go. We can be here, forever.”

Armaleonis looked to Roland. 

“What do...I have to do?” He asked the hound tepidly.

The wolf gestured with his head to a shadowy area not too far away, where, when Arma squinted, he could see the form of Ghar'bygg, and behind him-- the demon hunter who made him truly feel fear. Arma took a sharp breath and lowered his head. 

“You've done enough for everyone. Don't you think that you deserve to be the one that gets rescued? You don't need to suffer any more. Think of all the good things you've done- you don't need to take that shitty life back!” Dream-Zeke looked more upset than Arma felt, and that was an accomplishment.

Softly, Armaelonis took Zeke's hand off his shoulder and stood up.

“I want nothing more than that.” He said quietly, before looking up at the troll cultists. “But it's out of my hands. I wouldn't be the person you love if I didn't do the right thing. I'm gonna miss you.”

Taking a step forward, he gave the timber wolf one last hug. “You're the best dog a man could ask for.” He was crying now, holding that wolf and trying to lock it into his memories.

Slowly, he got up and walked toward Ghar'bygg, the hound demon. His hound demon. 

Someone was about to have a very, very bad day.

As he approached, the form of the felstalker shrank into a red and black orb that hovered in the air in front of the silhouette of the Illidari monster that hurt him. Arma looked up at that monster defiantly and grasped the felstalker essence and closed his hands around it, taking it into his true self.

In a flash, his world was pure agony as he felt every Illidari memory he had been trying to run from at once- and the physical transformation ripping him to shreds- felstalker tendrils ripping out of his back, the mask forming on his neck, the tail jutting out from his spine- and the loss of his true eyesight.

And it was that pain that woke him up with a shriek.

–

The Twilight's Hammer Cultists hadn't intended to run into two adventurers in their looting of an Amani catacomb, but they were all too eager to unleash a new variant of Faceless One upon them- the Dark Mercy- a creature that would entrap its victims in their own fantasies. They had drawn their daggers to sacrifice their new victims, only to be interrupted when the blood elf roared back to life and covered the two cultists standing over him in shadowflame. They turned and ran, but were too slow. The demon hunter gave them a thrashing they would never forget, leaving them holding onto life by mere threads, before picking his friend up and carrying him back to the town they called home.

-Fin.

#ShortStoryPractice #Armaleonis #Arma #PerfectWorld #WoW #BlindedFate

[lennoncarroll]

“grandma? i’m here!”

the sandy haired boy announced his presence for the weekend as he shut the door behind him, a steady hand gripped the strap hanging from his backpack. with spring break being a few days away, he figured he could spend some time with her before disappearing for a few days. he didn’t expect her to have some company over which is why his eyebrow raised at the sound of voices blending together in a conversation. he bounded upstairs to his room to drop his things off before going to the living room, scratching his head.  his eyes squinted at the little girl with dark curls, talking animatedly with the one-eyed teddy bear named Waffle.

“charlie? what are you doing here?” holden asked his little sister, moving towards her slowly.

“daddy wanted to visit!” she exclaimed happily, tossing the bear aside for her brother immediately.

his eyebrows furrowed at her words and reached for the girl regardless, hugging her and giving her a kiss against her head. he was going to ask her why, but her question seemed more  important at the moment.

“you’re still going for that sleepy white boy look, right, holdie?”

the boy couldn’t help but chuckle at his little sister’s comment she overheard from one of their sister’s friends. his hair was probably sticking up on various ends from just waking up and not being able to find the beanie to cover, the dark stain from the coffee that spilled on the shirt with the word, ‘ravenwood’, spelled out and lastly, the sweatpants hanging loosely off of him were all elements of his disheveled appearance. so in one quick stride, he threw his arms around the small child and instantly picking her up to spin her around a few times much to her joy.

“i think it works for me, don’t you?” he asked her, finding a spot on the couch and assuring she was comfortable in his lap. he watched her fingers toyed with the pendant dangling from his neck easily when the soft giggle fell from her lips, creating a small curve to appear on his own.

“no, i like it when you sleep. that way, i get to eat my animal crackers.” she quipped, smiling.

he let his mouth gape open dramatically before taking a brief moment to lean in close, mouth pressed against her neck and blew the biggest raspberry. of course, the child erupted into gleeful laughter and tried to wriggle herself away from him but to no avail. “you’re mean, you know that?” he says, grinning and continuing the act much to her delight.

“you’re always hungry but no one ever says anything.“

“that’s because i’m still a growing boy,” he replied.

“no, that’s just being – what’s the word mommy says? greedy?”

“you, mom and i are gonna talk about this because the both of you, together, are tr-

“son?” the voice boomed from the opposite end of the room, causing both children’s heads to turn.

holden twisted his mouth at the sight of his dad, partly hiding the small smile threatening to appear. it had been a while since he last seen his father and most importantly, the man and his grandmother together. from what he could recall from the stories his mother told, that relationship was still stitching itself back together after so many years of the back and forth dynamic over the one thing that severed their ties.

“charlie, let’s go bake those cookies!” grandma merrie announced, hands beckoning the young girl forward.

the small girl’s head bobbed her head excitedly and hopped off his knee, slipping away to the kitchen with the elderly woman while the two carroll men indulged in the silence that spread through the living room.

“so, she says that you’ve been feeling down a lot more lately,” lennon begins, taking a seat on the recliner across from his son. “is this about the music or have i lost my touch when it comes to you and your problems?”

 the boy nodded disappointedly at the first question that he heard, his chin resting in the palm of his hands as he sat there. it could’ve been worse, way worse. as if the time the teenager announced that girls were just and lennon quotes, ‘heartless soul snatchers and that he was only going to commit to his music and nothing else.’ was the least of their worries. of course, his mother talked more sense into him for saying that, especially since she made sure that he would be a respectable young man.

but now, it was different circumstances but it was still the same sad boy he’s always known.

“you can’t sell yourself so short over this.”

“why not?” the younger carroll countered with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest. “i’m not overly ambitious and intelligent like harper. i’m definitely not as adorable as charlie so i can’t rely on that. i’m just… there.”

“maybe just being there is your thing. that’s what you’re good at.“

“that’s just it, dad. i don’t want to just be there anymore. i wanna do stuff that matters, y'know? make something of myself that means something to someone or something.”

“and you can,” lennon assured him. “but you have to want it so bad that you’ll do anything for nothing to come in your way.”

“easy for you to say.” the boy laments, turning away from the heavy gaze he was under. he heard the deep sigh and then, the sound of the plastic rubbing together from the cover on the seat. holden immediately feared the worst, knowing that his dad has a serious issue with not looking at him while talking but to his surprise, he was only told to follow him upstairs.

without a second thought, he did.

he found himself in the room his father grew up in, the same room he shuffled into when he first arrived in rosewood. the little height marks were still marked into the door frame, the posters his grandma couldn’t rip off the walls were still intact but it was obvious she couldn’t part with the things within the room.

just like how his dad seemingly transformed into the teenage boy who thought he knew the world but truly only jotted it down in the confinement of a journal that started it all.

while lennon was searching through the stacks of CDs that remained on the desk, he laughed to himself at his taste in music while trying to process his thoughts to spew out to his son. he could still read the words carved in the wood that sparked some sort of inspiration for him at the time, and most importantly, the album of photos that told too many stories than his own words could explain.

“you can’t rush creativity.”

‘what do you know? ’ the annoyed boy thought, looking down at his feet.

“i know what you’re thinking, what do i know?”

holden picked up his head quickly, nearly panicking about his dad knowing him so well.

“you think i always had the best book the first draft? no. you have to work at it. it takes time and a considerable amount of effort to make something your best, holden,” he deeply sighed, picking up the snow globe containing a miniature scale of New York off the desk and shook it a few times. “look, i thought snorting coke lines was my gateway to being the next bukowski or even hemingway but then, something happened and i realized that i didn’t have to do that in order to write. it was always in me. it was the push i needed since i wasn’t getting it from my friends, only because i didn’t think the fuckers could understand the deepest parts of my mind. i know that you used to pen these great songs when you did the things you did before, but you have to just trust yourself and believe that you can do it. you really don’t need anyone else’s validation unless…” his father trailed off, taking a moment to step towards his and reached out to ruffle the boy’s hair. it was in that moment that holden groaned and calloused hands flew to the top of his head. “you feel like you need someone to tell you it’s the best or it’s shit but i know you. and i know how much of perfectionist you are — something you get from your mother, but listen to me. don’t let one song ruin what you got going for you and don’t let anyone tell you that what you’re doing is futile.”

“yeah, but–”

“no, i don’t want to hear your excuses. you’re good. you’re better than good, hold. you’re fucking fantastic.“ lennon praises, causing holden’s lips to twitch upwards. "i mean, not everyone’s made out for music and i’ll admit that i had my doubts in the beginning since you never stick with anything for too long, but your mom and your talent convinced me otherwise. not everyone can pick up a damn guitar and just start playing it. just like i can’t always write a great book.” he admits honestly. “there’s gonna be bad chapters. there’s gonna be a shitty story that my editor absolutely can’t stand and wants to murder me in cold blood about. there’s gonna be times where i ask myself why the hell am i putting myself through this again and letting people into a tiny fraction of my life but then, you begin to. realize that doing what you love matters more than the little nuisances that come along with it.”

“why are you saying all this?” holden asked, his voice softer than usual.

“i’m telling you this so you don’t give up. sure, you’re not gonna be signed overnight, trust me on that.” 

because lord knows how many days, weeks, months, years to get the first book published but it happened. though music and books were two different things and the process was different from what he could remember hearing in the village that one time. songwriting and poetry were the same processes, and after witnessing his son fall asleep in his room one late night, cheek pressed against the music sheets and guitar lying beside him, or even the time where his head was resting on the keyboard and the continuous beat from his laptop rang out entirely in the dead silence, lennon knew there was no turning back for him.

“when the right opportunity and time comes, you’ll know. you just gotta be ready for when it happens and i know you. you’re just like me, too, but you know, i was better looking, basketball phenom, and -

”dad.“

"right, sorry.” he quickly apologized, grinning to himself a bit, “you’ll find what works for you but until then? don’t give up. keep doing what you’re doing and it’ll all work out for you in due time. you’re a great musician, holden. don’t let a little writer’s block deter you from what’s been there for you since the beginning.”

presently, he was drifting in a wave of silence, partly stunned by his father’s words but more so inspired that he had the support and motivation that he was looking for.

"also, stop comparing yourself to harper,” lennon added, shaking his head. “she’s come a long way to get to the place where she is now after your mom and i. so have you, but you two on two opposite sides of the spectrum for a reason, alright?”

the sandy haired boy nodded, smiling softly at the pat of encouragement on his shoulder as the elder began to leave the room.

"dad?” holden called out, twisting his lips afterwards.

the man who knew far too much.. who experienced something that most couldn’t in a lifetime.. who made himself into a person of hope, reform, and so much more, appeared back in the doorway, furrowed eyebrows in tow.

"thanks. i… i know i don’t say that enough, but i mean it. honestly. you’ve been through and you do a lot that i take for granted -”

"you’re welcome.” he interrupted, offering a warm grin. “while i’m in town since that crazy old woman downstairs never tells me anything about her appointments, let me know if you wanna work on something together. i know spring break is in a few days, but-

"yeah,” he whispered before his voice gained more volume and he grinned. “yeah, that’d be great, dad.”

#「 ✰ ゜ ． × — ❛ tell me the story again would you please? › self para. 」 #2g: holden.

[marksofbeingstory]

Chapter 2 Rosepine

My nap was interrupted by the sudden rock music playing on the radio.

I look over at my dad as he laughs at my surprise, "this one has rock music."

I lay back against the seat and sigh. Rock music. Dad's favorite since he had a band in high school.

As if on cue dad speaks, "y'know I had a band when I was your age. I played the guitar pretty well. I remember playing at a football game and meeting your..."

He paused and I knew what he was gonna say. Mom. It was obvious her leaving took the biggest toll on him but he always kept a cheerful personality to keep me happy.

He coughs, "ahem, anyways, we were a pretty big hit back then. Maybe coming back will be a bigger opportunity to both of us than we think."

I snort, "Are you reuniting the band?"

"What? No."

I raise an eyebrow and he smiles deviously, "maybe."

I throw my head back and laugh a little too hard. I hold my chest feeling a small pain from sudden air escape.

My dad Pat's my shoulder,"there there. You're gonna live."

I steady my breathing and relax again. The radio begins fading to static. Dad fiddles with it until a woman's voice surprised us both.

"Good afternoon Residents of Rosepine Rivers! How're y'all doin this lovely afternoon! Don't forget to get your school supplies for the coming year!"

I cringed internally and externally. School, a new school at that. Dad chose the end of August to start work and move house so I couldn't take refuge in my bedroom this summer. Dad says it's good the socialize with people in a new town as soon as possible for maximum comfort in one's self.

Dad had me registered online the moment registration began to get the classes I wanted. I sigh and cross my arms.

Dad looks over at me a smiles sympathetically, "are you excited?

I look at him, "no."

"No?"

"Not in the slightest."

"C'mon Max it'll be fun. Bigger school. Cool landmarks. Also that band you like is playing one of their shows here."

I nod unenthusiasticly. Bigger school means harder to reach places and classes. Landmarks probably mean old buildings connected to war, death and stolen land, nothing new. Although, the fact that NewLandian Slammers was playing in Rosepine of all places was an upside to the whole relocation idea. Probably the only.

"Hey we made it!"

Sure enough we passed the town sign reading "welcome to Rosepine Rivers." Max looked forward with complete interest. The city was a lot prettier than he thought, especially with the sunset. Small, a single clifftop over the ocean all silloetted by the colors of the sunset and rooms of light. All of it rested at the edge of a seemingly neverending forest.

"Wow." I barely breathe, "it's amazing!"

Dad grinned,"toldja it's much better in person than in picture!"

I look at my phone and view the photo taken of the city. It all seemed so grey and lifeless from the pictures. Dad drove into town and I looked around in awe. Then I see the massive clocktower at the center. It was the tallest building with a face on each side dimly lit. The entire body seemed made of a variety of different woods. The doorway seemed to ignite with color as the sunset's light bounced off the stained glass.

The hypnotic Aura seemed to ebb away as Dad turned away from the oversized clock. I blink in confusion long enough for him to notice.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

I jolt upright, "uh yeah. yeah..."

I smile shakily, "just a bit anxious."

Anxious or terrified I half glare at the idea to myself. This was a whole new home. Built in a crater no doubt.

Dad smiled softly understanding, "I feel for ya bud. Let's just see how this year goes and we'll figure out how to make it work. I promise."

I smile back a bit unsure, "okay. It's a promise."

#marks of being #chapter 2 #10/22/19 #I seriously have to write more

[rodrigohyde]

Michael Phelps on his Shark Week showdown, his love of the ocean, and why he hasn't slowed down since retirement

It almost sounds like a stunt dreamed up on a playground: What would happen if the fastest swimmer in the world raced a great white shark?

That's exactly the goal with Great Gold vs. Great White, the upcoming Discovery Channel Shark Week special in which Michael Phelps is set to take on one of the deadliest predators in the ocean.

Yes, really.

But the question remains: Why would the greatest U.S. Olympian in history put his reputation on the line against, y'know, an actual fish—let alone one with hundreds of teeth? Men's Fitness sat down with Phelps to find out. Here's his take.

Men's Fitness: Is there any possible preparation you could do before the race?

Michael Phelps: You just watch that animal. It's basically like swimming next to a school bus in the water. I think that kind of got me more intrigued to see what other sharks I can swim with. When I had the opportunity to be on a Shark Week show, it was an absolute no-brainer, and an instant yes from me, just because it was something on my bucket list to do. It was an amazing opportunity for me to learn more about sharks, which I'm already infatuated with.

It was the experience: Coming face-to-face with a 13' hammerhead, or being in a cage and watching multiple great whites just fly around me, and not attack the cage. They would kind of bite at the cage, just what they normally do. I basically had an eight-foot great white almost come nose-to-nose with me in the cage. That was an opportunity and an experience that I never thought I'd have. It was pretty gnarly, and pretty unbelievable, just to see.

You posted on Instagram that you've always wanted to dive with sharks. When did this become an interest of yours?

I mean, this has probably been 15 or 16 years where I've really wanted to do this. I've always been a massive fan of Shark Week, and watched every year. This is something that's always around a major meet for me, so it's something that helps me relax a little bit. Now, being able to experience them in their own habitat actually makes me even hungrier to want to see more. I've only been able to see about 5-10 different species, and we have more than 500 species of sharks in the water, all over the world. I'm kind of just scratching the surface.

Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to see more and free- or scuba dive with a white. If you're in 30'-40' of water, you can actually just lay on the bottom, and take the element out of the surprise attack from a great white, because they always love coming from underneath of you to come straight up. That's why we have all these amazing breach photos that we see all over the world. There are a lot of things I still want to do with sharks. Hopefully, some of the things that I've learned, we can pass along to other people, and help them preserve the wildlife that we have all over the world. There are too many people that are out there killing sharks, and that's something that needs to stop.

[RELATED1]

The race will take place around the one-year anniversary of your last competitive race. What have you been doing the past year to stay in shape? Have you taken it easy, or ramped it up in some instances?

During the first couple months, I kind of took off. I raced at about 195, 200 (lbs) at the Olympic games—that was my fighting weight. I'm anywhere between 210 and 215. I was kind of lazy the first couple months and wanted to just enjoy retirement, and live life a little bit. Recently, I've started to realize that health and wellness are very large parts of my life, and it helps me be more productive. For me, it is eating a little better, a little different than I was in the past. I'm not burning as many calories as I did in the pool.

I'm still working out, anywhere between five and six days a week. I've been lifting a little bit more, because when I was swimming I never lifted much for my arms. It was all legs. I was a very leg-driven swimmer, and now I have the chance to do some more, whether it's a bench press, or more with free weights, and stuff that I never had the chance to do.

I saw a workout that [Dwayne] "The Rock" [Johnson] did to get ready for Hercules. Honestly, I did it, and it kicked my ass. It destroyed me—absolutely destroyed me, but it was something that was good, in a way, just because it challenged me to be different, outside of the pool. I've always spent my time in the water, and now I have the opportunity to do different things. I'm in the process, now, of building my own gym, and looking for a space to rent, and kind of have my own escape, almost, really, like what The Rock does. He's able to escape from life for a little bit and get some time in the gym, as we all see. I have an ideal weight that I'd like to hit. If I can stay around 210, but just be a little bit leaner than I am now, that's what I'm really trying to do. Also, I'm just trying to manage time. I have so much going on outside of the pool, and outside of my business life. It's making sure to take time, when I need it, to get a workout in that'll make me more productive, and will make me a better dad, will make me a better husband. Just basically, it's a balancing act, and I think we all go through that.

What would having that gym for yourself mean to you?

It's basically a private little place that, when I do go to the gym and I want to work out, I can. I'd rather go in and get my work done that I need to, and kind of not, potentially, be bothered in between a set of squats, or somebody wants to take a photo. I don't mind taking photos, but when I'm there, I want to lift, and I want to get my job done. I do have goals for myself. That's how I've been able to reach the success that I've had, and, for me, I would like to get around 210 and stay around 210, but I don't want to be as lean as I was last year. I mean, I was at 4.5% body fat last year, and that's so low.

That, for me, is not a healthy spot, not where I'd like to be. I'd like to be shredded. I'd like to have some abs, and have some definition. We have a goal, and it'll obviously take some time. Just getting in the habit of getting up early, before Boomer gets up, and try to get a workout in. It makes it tough, at times, when you're traveling so much. If I have a goal that's big enough, that'll motivate me, that's what'll help me get out of bed. I think that's what I have, right now.

[RELATED2]

You've clearly been watching your food more than when you were racing. Is there anything that you've indulged in, post-career?

No, not really. After 2012, I went from 185lbs to 235, with really doing nothing. I, basically, just got out of shape and didn't really care. Then, that led me to not being in a very happy place, and leading me to a dark place. I know what that feels like, and it's something I never want to happen again. It's that challenge and that motivation to always keep me going, on certain things. It's just fun. For me, life is a lot more fun and enjoyable now, than, really, it ever has been. I think part of that is me coming back, and finishing my career in 2016 in Rio, like I did.

Describe what your meals consist of nowadays.

I don't eat much red meat, just because I know it's hard for a body to break it down. I still eat a lot of fish and chicken. My snack days, I think that's probably the biggest and hardest thing is I want to snack, snack, snack. For me, it's all back to my goals. I'm about to eat a chicken Caesar salad. Nothing too exciting, but it's what I want. I eat a lot of salads now, eat a lot of chicken, eat a lot of fish. I had a great meal last night. My mom sent us some Baltimore crabs that we enjoyed last night. It was amazing. We had some crab, some shrimp, some French fries, and it kind of brought me back to my childhood back in Baltimore. Just kind of a nice, summer day. It was amazing that that was something I still enjoy. I still love a hamburger from time to time, but it's not something that I'm eating five days a week.

I always think about it this way: Your body is a high-performance car, and we want to put the best fuel into that car that you possibly can. There are times I want to eat a couple Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but I know that if I do that there could be consequences with it. I do have a sweet tooth, and I am trying to stay on working out as much as I can. We just did a spin class yesterday. Oh my gosh, I was in so much pain afterwards, and I've never sweat that much in my life. It's cool doing things differently now than I ever did when I was training. I don't want to do the same routine that I did for 15-20 years. I want to try different things to see what really excites me. I think that's something that my trainer tried to do over the last couple years of my career, because I got bored. I want this to be enjoyable. I want to have fun doing what I'm doing, and not feel like it's a job.

What was the spin class like for you?

The place was called CycleBar, and it's a place here in Scottsdale, AZ. We took a teacher-run hill class where we'd try and keep certain RPMs. There were 20 people in the room, and it was fun. It was myself, my wife, Nicole, my training partner, Allison Schmitt, and a buddy of mine, Grant, who's been visiting from Australia for a couple of months. We were basically just trying to compete to see who could get the highest score, and, out of the 10 people, we were top four. I guess the competitiveness is still there, when we're fighting to beat each other. It's always good to have friends like that, that we can compete with, especially to push one another. That's something that I've had for so long, and something that I need, at times. It's always good to have a good support team, and a good group of friends to help you out.

Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs. Great White airs on July 23 at 8 p.m. on The Discovery Channel.

[RELATED3]

Movies and TV

from Men's Fitness http://www.mensfitness.com/life/entertainment/michael-phelps-his-shark-week-showdown-his-love-ocean-and-why-he-hasnt-slowed

#Men's Fitness

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #244

“you could stand me up at the gates of hell, but i won’t back down.”

What accent do you find most difficult to understand? Heavy southern. Has your music taste changed over the years? Not very. I do like more indie stuff now than I used to, though. What movie never fails to make you cry? The Notebook. What movies do you think need a sequel? Hm... I'm sure there's plenty, but they're evading me for now. Let's see... yeah idk. Do you have to see it to believe it? I mean it depends; see what exactly? But in general, yeah. I believe in spirits, maybe even auras, stuff like that. What was the last thing you bought for yourself? Food. Do you like 3D movies? Yeah, they're cool. Have you ever had breakfast in bed? Not the "my partner brought me food and it's romantic" type of way; I've just eaten breakfast food in bed. Have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? No, that's always been. p wild to me. Do you still talk to your childhood friends? A few. True/False: You live with your parents. Just one. At the dinner table do you always sit in the same chair? We rarely eat at the table, but generally, yes. Is your signature legible? I think so. Have you met any bands/singers? No. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. Do you know someone that looks better as they age? *shrugs* Do you know the order of the colors of the rainbow? Yes. Do you sometimes wish you were the opposite gender? No. Have you ever kissed a picture? of who? I don’t think so. Did/do you distract your teachers to get them to tell you stories? I didn't really speak in class unless I was pretty sure I had the answer to a question or had a serious question myself. Who makes you feel like you’re worth something? My mom, more than anyone. Do you remember a lot of your childhood? Yeah. I have a crazy vivid long-term memory. How many pets is too many? Depends on available space as well as what you can afford to care for sufficiently. Do you stare at dead people in a movie to see if you can catch them moving? lol no. Does your hand fit inside a Pringles container? Probably. I can curl my thumb really inward to make space. Do you know who your maid of honor/best man will be? Sara, unless I end up marrying her lmao. In that case, it'd be Mom. If you had the opportunity to be famous, would you take it? I don't like the term "famous" for me personally, but rather "well-known" for a photographer. What is your favorite healthy snack? Strawberries, I guess? What is the best song by your favorite artist/band? I HAVE TO???????? PICK???????????? Oh jeez. At least right now, "Time" is one that I hold incredibly close to my heart and usually brings me to tears because it reminds me of Teddy. It's just a beautiful song. I'd say overall, probably "Trap Door." It's cool as hell. How many times did your phone ring today? None. What theme do you want for your wedding? Halloween/fall-ish. How much do you spend a month on make-up? Nothing. Do you have any of your future children’s names picked out? I don't want kids, but if I did, Alessandra Quinn is the girl and my spouse cannot argue, and I'd love Damien Vance or Damien Victor for a boy. What was your favorite childhood meal? Spaghetti. Would you ever date someone over the internet? I don't *think* I'd do it again, no, unless it was Sara and we were actually making arrangements to move in together ASAP. Do you find it hard to believe that a dinosaur was once right where you are? No, but rather cool as hell. What is your favorite part of the movie “The Lion King”? The intro (up to where the title pops up, not just NAAAAAAAAAAAAASEBENYAAAAAAAAAAA). It's just... magical. I, without fail, get goosebumps all over and smile. Do you have any bug bites atm? No. Do you knock before entering someone’s room? Yeah. What was the last thing you shot in the garbage? Like, shot as a basketball? Probably just paper or something. Would you freak out if you saw a spider crawling on you right now? Fuck yes I would. Who did you last call beautiful? Venus, my snake. Have you ever used a tanning bed? Nooooooo. Do you think people will eventually stop believing in God? Oh, absolutely not. The belief in some sort of higher power has evolved since the dawn of civilization, so why would it stop? Do you and your best friend have the same favorite band? No. Do you prefer watching movies or playing video games? Vidya games. Have you ever been go-cart racing? Ha ha yeah, fun. Up in NY with my cousins. How many jobs have you had in your life? Three. Does your shower have a door or curtains? Two curtains. Do you have any posters of your favorite band on your walls? Metallica and Manson, yeah. Are you good at remembering names? NOOOOOOOO. Have you been outside today? No. Have you ever walked the opposite direction on an escalator? No. When making pancakes, do you try to make cool shapes/pictures? No. Do you use your hand when you’re explaining something? Oh yeah. Do you play a lot of video games? Not anymore, really. I would, but I can't afford a new console. I want a PS4 super badly (hell, even a PS3) to play new games, especially ones I haven't seen let's plays of. You can only replay a game so many times before you get bored, y'know? The only game I play regularly is WoW and that's because it has like... endless content to do. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Probably Jasmine. What word do you hate that people use often? (yolo, derp..) None off the top of my head. I just don't care. When was the last time you had hiccups? Idr. Have you ever thrown up from drinking too much alcohol? No. Do you ever buy the same piece of clothing, just in different colors? No. What is the last movie you saw in a theater? The live action The Lion King, I think. How many bank accounts do you have? I don't think I even have one... I know Mom was talking about opening me up one, but like, why. I don't make an income. Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Oh sure. Do you attend church regularly? I never go. Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? Good. Shit. They have THE best chocolate milkshakes. Do you tend to worry a lot? Only always! How old were you when you lost your first tooth? Idr. Do you remember your first time on the internet? Not really, no. Which website do you email from? Hotmail. Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Yeah. Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? Idk. Have you ever had the flu? No, knock on wood. What about strep throat? Yeah. Would you ever consider going on a cruise? No. What is your biggest insecurity? My more "different" interests/hobbies. Have you ever painted a room alone? No. Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? Never. Have you ever had a terrible hangover? No. Do you ever get migraines? Rarely. Do you know how to garden? I mean, I could put it together... What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? A phone charger. Do people consider you to be a funny person? I don't know. Do you like children? No. If not, why is this? I'm just... uncomfortable and feel like I'm playing with slime against my will or some shit any time I'm in their presence. I don't like how they stare, I don't like how rude they can be, I hate how demanding they are of attention (YES, I am aware that is healthy behavior for the baby of a social species, I just can't provide it), they ask too many questions... I have a lot of reasons I don't like them. Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? No. What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? YouTube, I guess? Does the future excite you or scare you? Both. What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? I don't want to think on this. How many huge secrets do you have? I don't know about *huge* secrets... How many people know these secrets? ^ How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Do you ever floss? Not really, oops. Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? Two. Ever considered suicide? Yes. If so, did you try to commit suicide? Yes. Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? No. Do you like texting or calling people more? TEXTING. Don't call me omg. Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? Yeah. When did you last babysit, if ever? I actually did last week in an emergency situation with my nephew. I was the one and only person capable due to everyone being sick. I was scared as shit and very anxious the whole time, but I did it. Ultimately, it was a good bonding experience for us. Do you have any younger siblings? Yes, one sister. Have you ever thought of someone as useless? I'm sure I've thought of myself like that before. Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? Not to remain blonde, no, but I did that on the occasion I dyed it purple, I think. Do you drink vitamin water? No. Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Well of course. Have you ever had a Big Mac before? No, it doesn't appeal to me. Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I don't know or care. Where is your favorite place to travel? Mountainous and wooded areas. What is your goal for the next few months? Do well in school, get back into driving, maybe get a job I can actually handle. Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? German, yeah. And I think Spanish. Have you ever played on a sports team before? Yeah. If you have, what was that sport and when? All of these are from when I was a young kid. T-ball/softball, basketball, cheerleading, soccer... I think that's it? Oh wait, dance for many years as a pre-teen/teen. Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No. Do you think you’re a good singer? Not really. Do you think you have a good sense of style? I don't care. What matters is I myself like what I wear. Do you enjoy reading often? No... but I want to get back into it. Have you ever had a deadly illness? No, thank goodness. Ever had food-poisoning before? No. Where did you last eat dinner at? Like, eat out? I think it was a local Mexican restaurant with Mom and the sis. Have you ever shot a gun before? No. Where do you apply cologne or perfume? My neck and just generally around my torso. I don't really pay attention to exactly where. What completely and totally disgusts you and turns you off? Disrespect is what came to mind first this instance. What song makes you laugh when you hear it? I'unno. Do you take surveys hoping someone will see your answers or just ‘because’? Just because. It's a time-killer and a way for me to just. Talk. Not at anyone, just to get thoughts out of my head. It's therapeutic to me. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate or vanilla, depending on my mood. What diet could you never do? "Raw." <<<< Yeah. Do you have a curfew? No, not that I ever leave the house. Do you actually like your job? N/A What is the last song you sang? I think it was "Ordinary Man" by Ozzy feat. Elton John. GOD I am ready for this album. Describe the best kiss you’ve ever experienced: Bro idk I've had a lot of those and I've never like ranked them in my head. Think to the last time someone said thank you to you, what had you done to earn it? I commented on my friend's picture that she was fUCKING BEAUTIFUL. Grab your cellular. When did you last receive a text message? Like three hours ago. Is there anything that’s worrying you at the moment? Just a lot. Honestly, do you wish there was someone still in your life who used to be but for whatever reason isn’t anymore? I mean yeah, there' s multiple people like that. Who in your household do you not have a good relationship with? My sister's dog. Who in your life are you scared to lose more than anything? Mom.

#survey #quiz #questions

[egooksconnolly]

Michael Phelps on his Shark Week showdown, his love of the ocean, and why he hasn't slowed down since retirement

It almost sounds like a stunt dreamed up on a playground: What would happen if the fastest swimmer in the world raced a great white shark?

That's exactly the goal with Great Gold vs. Great White, the upcoming Discovery Channel Shark Week special in which Michael Phelps is set to take on one of the deadliest predators in the ocean.

Yes, really.

But the question remains: Why would the greatest U.S. Olympian in history put his reputation on the line against, y'know, an actual fish—let alone one with hundreds of teeth? Men's Fitness sat down with Phelps to find out. Here's his take.

Men's Fitness: Is there any possible preparation you could do before the race?

Michael Phelps: You just watch that animal. It's basically like swimming next to a school bus in the water. I think that kind of got me more intrigued to see what other sharks I can swim with. When I had the opportunity to be on a Shark Week show, it was an absolute no-brainer, and an instant yes from me, just because it was something on my bucket list to do. It was an amazing opportunity for me to learn more about sharks, which I'm already infatuated with.

It was the experience: Coming face-to-face with a 13' hammerhead, or being in a cage and watching multiple great whites just fly around me, and not attack the cage. They would kind of bite at the cage, just what they normally do. I basically had an eight-foot great white almost come nose-to-nose with me in the cage. That was an opportunity and an experience that I never thought I'd have. It was pretty gnarly, and pretty unbelievable, just to see.

You posted on Instagram that you've always wanted to dive with sharks. When did this become an interest of yours?

I mean, this has probably been 15 or 16 years where I've really wanted to do this. I've always been a massive fan of Shark Week, and watched every year. This is something that's always around a major meet for me, so it's something that helps me relax a little bit. Now, being able to experience them in their own habitat actually makes me even hungrier to want to see more. I've only been able to see about 5-10 different species, and we have more than 500 species of sharks in the water, all over the world. I'm kind of just scratching the surface.

Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to see more and free- or scuba dive with a white. If you're in 30'-40' of water, you can actually just lay on the bottom, and take the element out of the surprise attack from a great white, because they always love coming from underneath of you to come straight up. That's why we have all these amazing breach photos that we see all over the world. There are a lot of things I still want to do with sharks. Hopefully, some of the things that I've learned, we can pass along to other people, and help them preserve the wildlife that we have all over the world. There are too many people that are out there killing sharks, and that's something that needs to stop.

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The race will take place around the one-year anniversary of your last competitive race. What have you been doing the past year to stay in shape? Have you taken it easy, or ramped it up in some instances?

During the first couple months, I kind of took off. I raced at about 195, 200 (lbs) at the Olympic games—that was my fighting weight. I'm anywhere between 210 and 215. I was kind of lazy the first couple months and wanted to just enjoy retirement, and live life a little bit. Recently, I've started to realize that health and wellness are very large parts of my life, and it helps me be more productive. For me, it is eating a little better, a little different than I was in the past. I'm not burning as many calories as I did in the pool.

I'm still working out, anywhere between five and six days a week. I've been lifting a little bit more, because when I was swimming I never lifted much for my arms. It was all legs. I was a very leg-driven swimmer, and now I have the chance to do some more, whether it's a bench press, or more with free weights, and stuff that I never had the chance to do.

I saw a workout that [Dwayne] "The Rock" [Johnson] did to get ready for Hercules. Honestly, I did it, and it kicked my ass. It destroyed me—absolutely destroyed me, but it was something that was good, in a way, just because it challenged me to be different, outside of the pool. I've always spent my time in the water, and now I have the opportunity to do different things. I'm in the process, now, of building my own gym, and looking for a space to rent, and kind of have my own escape, almost, really, like what The Rock does. He's able to escape from life for a little bit and get some time in the gym, as we all see. I have an ideal weight that I'd like to hit. If I can stay around 210, but just be a little bit leaner than I am now, that's what I'm really trying to do. Also, I'm just trying to manage time. I have so much going on outside of the pool, and outside of my business life. It's making sure to take time, when I need it, to get a workout in that'll make me more productive, and will make me a better dad, will make me a better husband. Just basically, it's a balancing act, and I think we all go through that.

What would having that gym for yourself mean to you?

It's basically a private little place that, when I do go to the gym and I want to work out, I can. I'd rather go in and get my work done that I need to, and kind of not, potentially, be bothered in between a set of squats, or somebody wants to take a photo. I don't mind taking photos, but when I'm there, I want to lift, and I want to get my job done. I do have goals for myself. That's how I've been able to reach the success that I've had, and, for me, I would like to get around 210 and stay around 210, but I don't want to be as lean as I was last year. I mean, I was at 4.5% body fat last year, and that's so low.

That, for me, is not a healthy spot, not where I'd like to be. I'd like to be shredded. I'd like to have some abs, and have some definition. We have a goal, and it'll obviously take some time. Just getting in the habit of getting up early, before Boomer gets up, and try to get a workout in. It makes it tough, at times, when you're traveling so much. If I have a goal that's big enough, that'll motivate me, that's what'll help me get out of bed. I think that's what I have, right now.

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You've clearly been watching your food more than when you were racing. Is there anything that you've indulged in, post-career?

No, not really. After 2012, I went from 185lbs to 235, with really doing nothing. I, basically, just got out of shape and didn't really care. Then, that led me to not being in a very happy place, and leading me to a dark place. I know what that feels like, and it's something I never want to happen again. It's that challenge and that motivation to always keep me going, on certain things. It's just fun. For me, life is a lot more fun and enjoyable now, than, really, it ever has been. I think part of that is me coming back, and finishing my career in 2016 in Rio, like I did.

Describe what your meals consist of nowadays.

I don't eat much red meat, just because I know it's hard for a body to break it down. I still eat a lot of fish and chicken. My snack days, I think that's probably the biggest and hardest thing is I want to snack, snack, snack. For me, it's all back to my goals. I'm about to eat a chicken Caesar salad. Nothing too exciting, but it's what I want. I eat a lot of salads now, eat a lot of chicken, eat a lot of fish. I had a great meal last night. My mom sent us some Baltimore crabs that we enjoyed last night. It was amazing. We had some crab, some shrimp, some French fries, and it kind of brought me back to my childhood back in Baltimore. Just kind of a nice, summer day. It was amazing that that was something I still enjoy. I still love a hamburger from time to time, but it's not something that I'm eating five days a week.

I always think about it this way: Your body is a high-performance car, and we want to put the best fuel into that car that you possibly can. There are times I want to eat a couple Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but I know that if I do that there could be consequences with it. I do have a sweet tooth, and I am trying to stay on working out as much as I can. We just did a spin class yesterday. Oh my gosh, I was in so much pain afterwards, and I've never sweat that much in my life. It's cool doing things differently now than I ever did when I was training. I don't want to do the same routine that I did for 15-20 years. I want to try different things to see what really excites me. I think that's something that my trainer tried to do over the last couple years of my career, because I got bored. I want this to be enjoyable. I want to have fun doing what I'm doing, and not feel like it's a job.

What was the spin class like for you?

The place was called CycleBar, and it's a place here in Scottsdale, AZ. We took a teacher-run hill class where we'd try and keep certain RPMs. There were 20 people in the room, and it was fun. It was myself, my wife, Nicole, my training partner, Allison Schmitt, and a buddy of mine, Grant, who's been visiting from Australia for a couple of months. We were basically just trying to compete to see who could get the highest score, and, out of the 10 people, we were top four. I guess the competitiveness is still there, when we're fighting to beat each other. It's always good to have friends like that, that we can compete with, especially to push one another. That's something that I've had for so long, and something that I need, at times. It's always good to have a good support team, and a good group of friends to help you out.

Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs. Great White airs on July 23 at 8 p.m. on The Discovery Channel.

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Article source here:Men’s Fitness