#so i try not to think about it bc i have things to do!! which means it just hits me.

[luveline]

would you be in the mood to write something for peter parker x reader?? it’s been a while since i’ve read anything new for him and i’m missing my boy :( maybe something about things getting heated while making out with peter but he knows reader isn’t ready to go any farther so he has to stop them, and then maybe reader feels guilty for not being ready bc they feel like they’re stringing him along? a good mix of (semi)smut & fluff & angst haha. thank u angel i love u <3

ty for requesting, love u <3 fem!reader, 1k

cw suggestive content

“Is that okay?” he whispers. 

You’re nearly too busy trying to kiss him to whisper back. “Yeah, Peter, just–” Fully too busy. 

Peter enjoys being on top of you for two reasons; the first, the most imperative in the moment, is because it flicks a switch in your mind that has you all flustered and breathless under his touch, your chest heaving something sorry and your hands a frenetic back-and-forth between roaming and limp on his back; and the second, his guilty pleasure, is that he’s in an optimal position to slide his knee between your thighs and listen for your breathless sigh. 

He says your name between kisses to catch your attention, finds he can’t quite get it as your mouth closes up on his and your spit wets his lips. Your hand wanders under his shirt. 

Peter has been worse than shirtless around you, a consequence of his strange after-classes hobby, but he’s not so sure you’re ready to peel him out of it. Your fingers ride up his spine. 

He fishes your hand from behind him to hold it above your head. 

“Hey,” he says, pulling back, your eyes lit and aligned with one another, the brightest light in the room. It feels wrong to speak into the dark like this, disrupting your whispers and your quick breathing. “You don’t wanna do that.” 

“I do,” you say. He’s no genius, but he sees the wobble of your lashes for what it is, sudden regret. 

“It’s okay, bub. We got too heavy too fast,” he laughs. 

You bite the inside of your lip as he sits up. It’s his fault, he shouldn’t have kissed you like that, definitely shouldn’t have let his leg slide up against you, what was he thinking? He’s kissed you so hard your lips are swollen. 

You use the flats of your palms to clamber up against the headboard. Your heart is a thudding he can’t ignore, triply loud, and his own pulse is rocketing too. 

“I’m sorry,” you say. 

“No, that’s okay,” —he reaches for the hem of your sweatpants to tug them back over your hip and stomach— “I was bearing down on you, I shouldn’t have– I–” Peter Parker levels of stuttering occur, to which he can’t subject himself, hiding his face in his hands. 

There’s a small silence. Peter attempts to calm down. Your heart rate slowly drops. 

“I really am sorry, Pete.” 

His neck cricks as he lifts his head. “What?” He lets his legs fall to the side of the bed and shuffles up to the top to see you clearly, squishing the back of your thigh where your legs are up to his hip. “Come on, what do you have to be sorry for?” 

“I’m leading you on and stuff. Not cool.” 

“What? What are you talking about? I started it.” 

“I was giving it just as good as I was getting it,” you say with a regretful smile. “You’re just such a great kisser–”

“Don’t try and distract me, it’s working,” he teases. More seriously, he puts his hand on your knee, thumb pressing to the soft crease underneath it. 

“I shouldn’t kiss you like that if I’m not ready for it.” 

“Why not? You can kiss me whatever way you like, it doesn’t have to lead to anything.” 

“I’m winding you up. Boys don’t like that.” 

“I love it,” he says, dropping his chin to his hand to speak to you from just below your eye line. “I love everything you do, I love kissing you, it doesn’t mean you have to be ready for something else.” 

You don’t accept his reassurances as quickly as he’d like, leaning back, the rising valley of your chest and tummy two pretty not to look at even as something serious transpires. He adores you, your every hill and curve and rigid line, all of it, and he’d love to fuck you but there’s no rush. What do you need to rush for? Peter’s sure it’ll be just as much fun a few months down the line as it would’ve been tonight, but it’ll be perfect then, because you’ll be ready then. 

“Who cares what boys like anyways?” he mumbles, kissing your kneecap appreciatively. 

“I just don’t wanna mess it up, Pete. I really like you.” 

“You can’t mess it up, it’s not like that, we’re not like that. You mean a whole lot more to me than that,” he says, giving your thigh a squeeze. You meet his eyes with less shyness now, the beginnings of a smile like twitches at the corners of your mouth. “I like you more than you like me, anyways. You can string me along. String me up, if you want.” 

“String you up where?” you ask with a laugh. 

“From that statue on ESU?” 

“What? How would I do that?” 

“Get Spider-Man to help you.” 

You pull the leg he isn’t leaning on up toward your stomach, knee rubbing along the inside of your opposite thigh, the last trace of regret. “You’re sure you don’t care?” 

“Don’t care, don’t mind, just want you to be happy.” He kisses your knee. “I thought you’d know that by now.” 

You brace your face in both hands, letting out a long sigh. “I don’t know what I know when you do that thing to me. How about you keep your legs away from my legs for a little while?” 

Peter smiles like an idiot, hiding his eyes in your knee and his mouth behind your calf. He doesn’t mind being honest, but you’re making him nervous flirting like that and he isn’t allowed to kiss you again tonight. “I– I can do that. No leg stuff.” He leans away from you suddenly. “God, no leg stuff. You’re beautiful, I wish you didn’t worry about me.” 

“I’ll try not to, Pete.”  

#tasm peter parker #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker imagine #tasm peter parker x you #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm!spiderman x reader #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter imagine #tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm! peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #peter parker oneshot #peter parker blurb #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #spiderman x you #spiderman fanfiction

[hannieehaee]

Can you please make a seventeen reaction if a saesang hurt their s/o? lysm btw💙

a sasaeng hurting their s/o

content: mentions of an ambiguous attack on the reader (u can assume it was something like pulling at reader's arm/hair or a simple slap/punch), anger from the members, angst, fluff (kinda??), etc.

wc: 829

a/n: ily <33 i was kinda conflicted on this bc im not sure whether theyd react in an idol fashion in which they just kind of let their managers handle it or if theyd handle it themselves so i went for a mixture

masterlist

seungcheol -

he's super protective over his members, which also translates over to all his loved ones. i think he would get immediately exasperated and get all up on whoever dared hurt you, fan or not. if things got physical, he'd get physical too. however, he'd try to keep things civilized.

jeonghan -

he'd let his managers handle the sasaeng, knowing that despite how much he'd like to protect you on his own, head on, he had a lot of limitations as an idol. he'd feel extremely guilty about it and would beat himself up over it for a while. would do everything he could to make you feel protected and taken care of (even more than he already did) from then on.

joshua -

he'd be unfiltered in his arguing and his anger towards the aggressor. he wouldnt get aggressive or anything, but the venom in his eyes would be enough for a person to drop dead. would go as far as try to get the authorities involved right in that moment, promising that he'd be pressing charges on your behalf. when it came to you, he'd need you to calm him down lol.

jun -

he's so used to being mobbed and to people injuring themselves due to this that he wouldn't even be surprised at this happening. this wouldnt mean that he wouldn't be insanely angry though lmao. he'd curse them out in chinese and start a whole scene if necessary. this person was not going to leave this situation unscathed.

soonyoung -

his emotions usually take over him very easily and i believe in such an instance anger would show clearly in his demeanor. he'd protectively hold you behind him as he cursed and antagonized the sasaeng while his managers attempted to alleviate the situation. there would be anger in his eyes that you'd never seen before, but it'd turn into worry and regret as soon as he met your eyes.

wonwoo -

usually when he's being crowded or fans are too close, his body language seems closed off and unwelcoming to all the unwarranted attention, but in this instance i think his fight or flight mode would activate, making him physically place himself between you and the aggressor. rare instance in which anyone would see wonwoo genuinely angry.

jihoon -

he'd be too shocked to react, only realizing what had happened after the fact. kinda out of character, but i think he'd have to be held back from taking matters into his own hands. would be furious at the blatant disrespect to both you and him. how could a fan ever lay hand on you? he'd remain disappointed in his fandom for a while, keeping himself (and you) away from the limelight for a short period of time.

seokmin -

for once in his life, the only emotion taking over him was pure unfiltered anger. BUT he would 100% prioritize checking in on you and keeping his hands and eyes on you to make sure you were okay. would let his managers take care of the situation and simply stare down the perpetrator with venom in his eyes. would be extremely apologetic to you afterwards and express guilt over and over.

mingyu -

he's shown many times before he's not afraid to tell fans to mind their boundaries before, so i think that in a serious situation in which you were being put in danger, he'd become extremely serious to a scary extent. he would not get physical or anything like that, but he'd use his words and stance to intimidate the crazed fan.

minghao -

extremely serious and put off. the moment someone laid hands on you, his body would take control of itself and put himself between you and any danger. he'd yell and curse at whoever dared cross such a boundary and disrespect both you and him in such a way. he'd hold certain disdain for fans crossing boundaries from then on.

seungkwan -

he's too polite and media trained to actually participate in the altercation, but anyone could see the genuine anger trying to filter out of him as he and his body guards tried to deal with the situation. his first priority would be you and making sure you weren't too hurt.

vernon -

he wouldve been too shocked in the moment to do anything, but as soon as the short-lived attack ended and his managers were already apprehending the perpetrator, he'd scoff and curse at whoever hurt you. there would be this unknown craze in his eyes indicating uncharacteristic anger that could only ever be provoked by such a situation.

chan -

insanely angry and frustrated at the situation. in an ideal world, he'd take care of this situation on his own, proving to you that he'd never let anyone hurt you. however, he knew that the appropriate thing to do would be to let his managers apprehend the aggressor while he checked in on you and made sure you were okay and as far away from the situation as possible.

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #svt x reader #seventeen #seventeen imagine #svt #seventeen oneshot #svt reactions #seventeen reactions #svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #svt angst #seventeen angst

[princessfbi]

I think that anon is upset bc all of a sudden no one cares about buddie anymore bc bi buck is canon and that apparently means he needs to sleep with any man and that relationships have no sancticity anymore. It's bc of this type of "oh we just having some slutty fun" that Tim is not going to make buddie canon anymore bc people are happy with bi buck hooking up with anyone. After so many years of shipping buddie many "fans" have jumped ship and if they don't jump ship, they dip their toes into creating cheap threeways. It's upsetting

And respectfully that’s ridiculous.

Buck discovering his bisexuality is NOT a consolation prize. It’s an important story that affects a lot of people and impacts even more. Not just from his journey for his sexuality but also the way he’s discovering it later in life. To act like such is disrespectful to the character and the bisexual community.

And what’s even more insulting is to call that exploration which involves uncommitted fun sex “slutty” in the tone of condemnation you are using. That’s called slut shaming. And if you cared about Eddie at all then you would care that he would be allowed to experience the same gentle space to grow like Buck is being given right now. If that hasn’t been a concern for you then you need to reevaluate if your “loyalty” is care or obsession bordering on fetishizing.

It is fine to not like Tommy. What is not fine is to be an asshole to people who do. You don’t see me going around leaving hate anon to people who like Brussels sprouts now do you?

You people have GOT to learn how to cope with things not going the way you initially planned for it. The world is full of unexpected outcomes. I am here because I am having fun and because I love these characters. If you aren’t having fun, I’m sorry but that is not mine nor anyone else’s problem but your own. Take your temper tantrum somewhere else because I will not hold your hand through it.

I have quite literally written over a million words for buddie. I have thousands more planned. But what characters I like and how I explore them is up to nobody but myself. I write for me and I choose to share this gift. You have the choice to not read it. What you don’t have a choice in is what I do with my life and my fun. For me that’s exploring Buddie, Bucktommy, and the magnificent Throuple that is BuckTommyEddie.

Be upset if you must though I would urge you to try and live a little. But what you don’t get to be upset about is me not sharing in those feelings with you.

You’re not upset about Buddie. You’re upset because the world is an uncontrollable place and it’s not revolving around you.

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #also these are not real people #I promise you their feelings are not hurt #anon #royal decree

[hauntedpearl]

s12 destiel from dean's perspective is explanation enough for why dean is sooooo insane after that season. like.

- first he almost kills himself for the greater good or whatever and has to come to terms with like. dying. on purpose. and then he is given the gift of life but before he can be like yay! i can go home! his mom is back from the dead??? and his brother is missing???

- then his mom leaves him bc she wants to figure out who she is and even tho he's like a 38 yo man it fucks w him a lot understandably.

-they get arrested and put in SOLITARY for a while and when they finally get out and meet cas again (at which point dean has once again come to terms with dying for the greater good but also mostly his mom and brother this time), he KILLS THE REAPER THEY MADE THE DEAL WITH AND GETS ALL EMOTIONAL??? after which he proceeds to fuck off bc he is Busy™ tracking lucifer etc.,

- then they get a lead and CAS ALMOST DIES IN FRONT OF HIS EYES and throws an I love you in his goodbye speech for the lolz. which. hahaha. anyway cas lives but turns out his mother — with whom he's trying to connect so badly so he can achieve full Normalcy — was like. lowkey responsible for his almost death. so they're fighting now.

- cas receives a divine voicemail from his close friend and colleague and then they go on that case with Lily sunder and ISHIM BEATS CAS UP AND THREATENS TO KILL HIM and even after they beat him Lily Sunder is like. I'm gonna go do some soul searching and if im in the mood I'll come back and KILL YOU. THREAT. and cas is like 😔 fair. so you know.

- there is also an instance of him losing his memories which is scary. and it's like. being intimately familiar with that experience is. something else. as a memory loss girlie let me tell you 👍🏽😄

- and then!!!!! lucifer's unborn child mind melds with his wifehusband — once more in front of his own two eyes — and "manipulates" him into running away with the pregnant lady instead of staying and Figuring Out A Solution. and when they finally do find cas, they are with them for all of 12 hours before HE DIES. FORREAL THIS TIME. AND LIKE THAT'S IT. NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE!

this is not an exhaustive list bc i don't remember everything but. like you know. he was primed to get worse and worse. all things that happen in s12 are out of his control but they are also things that happen in front of his eyes, and in ways that make him think that perhaps he did have control over them and he did fuck up some way and he *should* have done something to change the course of their lives so he's filled with guiltshame about it. and he decides that the solution to not losing anyone in the foreseeable future is to just. Control Every Possible Aspect Of Their Existence. which is impossible and that's why he gets mad all the time but YOU KNOW. YOU CAN SEE WHY HE'S CRAZY. poor s12 dean man.

#doe is talking again #just thinking thoughts #i MISS S12 BTW #EVERYTHING WAS SOOOO RIGHT #and then </3 #also this is my bias against s13 showing bc i think it's STUPID #thete i said it idc about narrative importance s13 commits the worst crime of all: its boring as shit #and yeah I've only watched it once but i hated having yo watch it and supernatural WAS my favourite show back then even!! #snd an excuse to spend time with my v close friend!!! SO !!! EVEN THAT couldn't make s13 worth the time 😔 #im also not a big fan of first half of s14 while we're at it. #i think it picks up in the second half thk when thsy start doinf family drama #anyway #ANYWAYSSSS #this is not meta or analysis im just thinking about s12 dean my baby #suicide ment

[prongsiepotter]

sunbathing by the black lake | j. potter

summary: your childhood best friend james is being a little shit but in an endearing sort of way while showing his little acts of love

pairing: james potter x childhood bsf!reader

a/n: my first time writing on this blog!! i have a childhood friends to lovers playlist on spotify if anyone wants to listen to it bc i have a feeling it’s all i’ll write abt lol would really appreciate some feedback! enjoy x

──────── ❂ ‧₊°

There's no way to explain how the energy shifts when James is around. It simply does. Just like how you can feel the sun beating down on you right now. Hence, you can sense his approach without as much as a glance at him, your gaze continuing to drift across the notes Remus left for you in the margins of your essay.

James knows that, of course, as he strides across the grass towards you. You have never really talked about it, but seeing how he can also just tell when you're about to enter a room he's in, you both have made it a habit to not announce your presence. There's just no need.

So when he plops down next to you and rests his chin on your shoulder like it's his birthright, neither of you is surprised. In fact, it’s just right. Like puzzles slotting in perfectly.

For a few minutes, the world consists of birds chirping, a warm breeze, and the distant laughter of a group of Hufflepuff girls sitting a few paces away. You flip the page and let out a huff of laughter. James chuckles, his voice low and right next to your ear as he says, "Wouldn't be Moony if everything he touches didn't have a chocolate stain on it."

"It's like he's marking his territory." You try to rub it off with your sleeve, but the smudge only gets bigger. You squint and hold the paper in front of you, trying to discern if it's that noticeable (it is) but with a shrug you decide you couldn't care less. The movement makes James' glasses slide down to the tip of his nose, and he leans forward to make a dramatic face at you as if you had done him deeply wrong. With a playful eye-roll, you push them back for him and get a signature James Potter smile in return.

"Cheers, love." He beams at you and retrieves a balled-up napkin from the inside of his robe before taking it off. You watch him roll up the sleeves of his white Oxford shirt to his elbows, placing the mystery napkin on your lap. You glance at it curiously. "Unwrap it," he says. "It's for you."

Doing as you're told, you perk up with excitement when the content reveals itself. "Effie sent them?" You hold up the mangled piece of apple crumble like it's the most sacred thing you have ever gotten to hold, which it is. James nods, smiling at your happy dance. "I love her apple crumbles. Thank you!"

"You love everything my mum bakes," he says while lying down on his side, right in front of you with his head propped up on his palm. There's a glimmer in his amber eyes.

You give him a pointed look.

"Because everything that lovely woman bakes is the most scrumptious and amazing thing to exist." You take a big bite from the apple crumble to prove your point and your eyes flutter close as you hum. "This is why we're friends, Potter," you say with a mouthful. "No other reason. This is it."

"Oh yeah?" You hear the amusement in the drawl of his voice. Then he cups the side of your face and you look down at him as he distractedly brushes off some crumbs from the corner of your mouth. He looks up at the sky. "That's a shame because this is the last time you will get anything my mum has baked."

James' gaze is still turned upward, giving the sky his utmost interest as if to check if it's still blue. You stare at him in bewilderment. "Are you insane? Why would you deprive me of Effie's food?"

"I wonder how the weather will be tomorrow," he responds flippantly, and you swear your eye twitches.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you say, narrowing your eyes at him. "I forgot you were satan's spawn."

James does not react. You don’t think he will even reply with the way how he’s squinting and examining the very much non-existent clouds in the clear sky. But then he looks at you like you had asked him to solemnly share his meteorology findings with you, and with undeserved earnestness he tells you, "I think tomorrow will be just as sunny as today."

You blink at him. Then give a long-suffering sigh. "I thought you cared about me."

"I do," James says, rolling over to lay on his back with his eyes closed. "Which is why I can't have you lose your mind over some flour and sugar. I'm doing us a favour. Preserving our friendship." He cracks an eye open to look at you. "We've been friends since diapers, not because of my mum’s food, but because I'm brilliant and extremely lovable. Get your facts straight, woman."

You toss the napkin at his face.

He laughs.

Glancing at the last piece of the apple crumble in your hand, you ask, "Do you want it?"

James shakes his head, looking fond. "You assault me and then offer me the last bite?"

"Force of habit," you say flatly. "I can take it back."

He chuckles and takes off his glasses, resting his arm over his eyes. "You can have it, love. Cheers."

You don't have to be told twice and pop it happily in your mouth. With his other arm, he sweeps the scattered pages aside and pats the spot next to him. "Sleep with me?"

You quirk a brow. "Trying to get into my knickers, Potter?"

A breathy laughter escapes his lips. "Are you offering?"

"You wish."

"Merlin, yes." He sighs dramatically as if all James Potter has known in this lifetime was the pain of longing. He grabs blindly for you and pulls lightly at the hem of your skirt. "A man can dream. But for now just nap with me, yea?"

You bat at his wrist but let him pull you towards him nonetheless. There was never any other option, really.

In the blink of a moment, you're nestled into James’ side. His arm is cushioning your head, fingers absentmindedly playing with your hair as he tells you his thoughts on a book he recently read because he knew you liked it. You listen intensely, enjoying the easy conversation and the sunlight warming your skin. The world feels peaceful, and it doesn't take long before sleep pulls you both into a cosy slumber.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter fluff #james potter imagine #james potter oneshot #james potter fanfiction #james potter fic #james potter x you #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders #marauders imagine #the marauders

[tibby]

i think it's partly bc of rerecording her albums and having fans love the vault tracks that she now feels she cant leave anything on the cutting room floor just in case

i definitely think that's part of it, but - and i say this as someone who likes a majority of the vault tracks - i think it was a good thing that they were initially left on the cutting room floor. including them originally would have detracted from what the albums were trying to say.

speak now and 1989 are the best examples of this. the point of speak now was two things: taylor wanting to prove she could do it on her own, and each song referencing a specific person or scenario. with the exception of when emma falls in love (the weakest of the lot imo) and castles crumbling (which has a feature), the SNTV vault tracks are more...vague in who/what they're about. and sure, if they'd been released on the original album with the secret messages we might have more context, but that isn't something we can say for certain. speak now is the only album that's about multiple people and we can pinpoint who or what each song is referencing (except maybe sparks fly which was included for the fans, and haunted but that could be because i've never cared enough to investigate if it's about john or joe).

as for 1989, i think the vault tracks are definitely stronger than some of the songs that made the cut (as much as i love WTNY and HYGTG, they're not her best work), but i don't think they would have fit into the story she was trying to tell. whether taylor successfully made an album that is about independence and not love is up for debate, but she claims that was her intention. IION and say don't go aren't great fits for that story, especially since it was one she was trying to tell within the secret messages.

i think red's biggest problem is that it was already too long of an album (which is also part of speak now's problem). i think the red vault tracks fit the theme of all the varying degrees of love, but red TV clocks out at over two hours. it's possible that forever winter in particular was too raw a song to release at the time (has she played it live yet? i haven't kept up with eras tour that much).

and while i love the fearless vault tracks, i do wonder if including them would have earned it less acclaim. they're good songs, but fearless is by far her most polished album imo. even the deluxe tracks, which i also adore, kinda take away from how well rounded the standard album is. it's very possible it's only capped at 13 tracks because cds back then could only hold so much, but i also think that it was a better decision for the marketing of the album itself.

but now, with ttpd and the eight million versions of midnights, it's harder to find the good shit because it's surrounded by so much filler. and yeah, part of it is that some of the songs on those albums are just...not good (bejeweled my deepest enemy), but i think a culling would have greatly benefitted them. ESPECIALLY with ttpd. taylor's always been songwriter who releases stuff that could be diary entries, but at least before it was like...you at least edited this. now it just seems like we're getting every single journal entry as is. and it's tiring. 31 songs is too much. hell, 16 songs for lover was too much.

ultimately i think it comes down to the fact that she no longer gets any push back from the people she works with, and fans are both willing to accept quantity over quality and (for many swifties, but not all) there's just a refusal to criticise her work at all. and i think taylor's desire to constantly release new content (which i think is a combination of a constant need for relevancy combined with the fact she's always writing) combined with being surrounded by yes men and adoring fans is impacting her work negatively. which has been the case since lover if not earlier, but i think midnights/ttpd are her most glaring examples of it.

anyway lmao sorry this got long. sorry for never being on here and then finally showing up to have opinions about taylor swift. do you guys still think i'm hot.

#ask #anonymous

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for telling my best friend I don't want to hang out with her + her partner or hear about her relationship drama anymore?

I live with my best friend. She started seeing her partner about 2-3 months ago, and it's been kind of non-stop drama since. Either they make me uncomfortable with excessive pda in the house (which I had to apologize and explain to her partner why I kept leaving the living room, because me not wanting to be around them while they do their foreplay made HER uncomfortable) or they get into arguments every other day. Which best friend will vent to me about, and vent she doesn't want to be around her partner anymore bc she doesn't like all the drama/her partner isn't listening to her etc etc. and then she turns around and will hang out with her partner right after, and says how sweet and nice everything is.

Sometimes the arguments are stupid stuff like they're both grumpy in the morning and lash out at each other, sometimes they do things that piss each other off, and a few times it's been about me, because her partner thinks I secretly want to date my best friend. It's all just really annoying and I'm pretty over the whirlwind of happy-fight-im done with this person-everything forgiven back to happy.

So I've told my best friend I don't really want to hang out when the two of them are together because I'm tired of being a constant third wheel and I'm also tired of being around/hearing about all their arguments. My best friend was not happy about this. She said I was being wack and acting weird, and that I'm making both her and her partner feel weird. I asked her to explain what exactly I was doing that was making things weird (genuinely don't understand) and she didn't or couldn't give me a solid answer.

I don't think I'm the asshole because why do I have to be subjected to this level of drama or get sexiled from my own damn living room, but I might be the asshole bc it would be good to be there for my best friend when she's dealing with her relationship issues, and I do want to be friends with her partner but best friend will kind of give me crap for trying to hang out with her partner if the two of them are in a spat.

#aita #am i the asshole

[desire-mona]

more modern poets hcs for greenie!

charlie -

charlie used to post like "annoying gay ppl vs normal gay ppl" memes, had a huge turnaround and they cringe when they think of that time. mentioning blaire white or kalvin garrah would make him jump

has an "i <3 milfs" design of every article of clothing, could make an entire i <3 milfs outfit. shirt, hat, pants, socks, belt, shoes, hoodie, you name it.

todd -

todd is nonbinary bc he is autistic and autistic ppl generally view gender differently. not debating this. this is a fact and this is canon. they/he/she todd anderson, what of it.

chronic procrastinator when it comes to anything besides school. they will put off doctors appointments, finishing tv shows, even charging their phone.

neil -

doesnt use tiktok but he watches todd scroll thru her fyp sometimes and gets very mad at those "acting pov" videos. hes like "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ACTING POINT OF VIEW" "POINT OF VIEW YOU ONLY HAVE A LIMITED NUMBER OF WORDS???????? WHAT DOES THAT MEEEEEAN"

i see ppl saying that neil would be a swiftie but i would like to suggest that he's a big ethel cain fan, a collection of songs that tell a fictional character's story? tell me thats not right up his alley

meeks -

i dont think this is the type of math meeks bases a career off of but i do think he rly pays attention to architecture and city layouts and stuff. will forever complain abt how inconvenient it is to have a car centered society and how every place should be walkable OR have public transport

collects records despite not having a record player, tapes despite not having a walkman, and cds despite using his cd player maybe 3 times a year. quite honestly its just to have a physical collection of his music taste

pitts -

pitts went thru a "nice guy/ vaguely incel-ular" phase in middle school, but he didnt talk to a singular woman in those years. by the time it went away there was no harm done to anyone but himself and a very annoyed meeks who had to listen to how girls "only go for assholes"

he has a fashion sense so good that ppl online *ask* him to post fit checks, he doesnt do any if theyre not requested of him. pitts is also the one with the biggest online presence, most notably tiktok and twitter

knox -

type of guy to constantly post shit like "like for a tbh" or post anonymous question things on his story. nobody interacts with any of it so he usually just deletes them after half a day

haaaaaaaates texting and will either send very long voice messages or just ask to call whoever he's talking to (me fr i send ppl voice msgs almost exclusively)

cameron -

cam is suuuuuuuper creeped out by ai "art", especially the ai washing feet commercial during the superbowl, which he had nightmares about for a week

his parents are constantly trying weird diets (most notably keto) so he has the weirdest assortment of random ingredients in his pantry. has come up with the strangest "meals" any one of those boys have ever seen

#desire mona #hopefully this drowns out the unrelated dark academia posts and taylor swift screenshots #yall today is hc post day pls fill the dps tag with dps stuff #dead poets society #charlie dalton #todd anderson #neil perry #steven meeks #gerard pitts #knox overstreet #richard cameron #banger #mona mentioned user flaming green

[fallingforfictionalmen]

the thing that’s crazy about the prophecy is I know logically it wasn’t written for pjo. that’d be insane and it’s not something taylor would do

but it fits a little too well. it actually fits so well that it’s made me rethink certain parts of the series

annabeth thought that falling in love with percy would curse her too, bc it would hurt her so much when he died. she probably thought, just like the lyrics say, that it was punishment for something, and honestly she probably accepted losing percy as punishment for letting luke slip through her fingers when she should have seen what he was going thru

and she doesn’t beg, but she tries to change it. she risks her life to save his, even when she is convinced he’ll die anyway.

the “im so afraid I sealed my fate/no sign of soulmates” took me out the first time too bc the most recent time I read the books I could tell annabeth knew she met her person and she was afraid that it was him because, again, she has been convinced he would die since she first met him. in her pov in hoo she even says she’s “secretly” been in love with him since they were 12, which I think has to do with not only her not telling percy but also not wanting to admit to herself

and repeating the first verse at the end is so insane for the beginning of hoo when she loses percy. like “it’s gone again… I guess a lesser woman would’ve lost hope” bc percy was gone for SEVEN MONTHS and she spent all of them trying to find him

it’s just crazy that the song fits soooo well

#I wrote this instead of studying for an exam #the prophecy #pjo #pjo books #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth

[andradrawsstuff]

An in-depth character analysis of Skipper: pt 1

This version of Skipper is probably the simplest since he was comic relief at first, but a bit of a hot take, might actually be my favourite (I prefer the show version of the other three tho). Going back to the movies after years of watching the show, I realised that this version of Skipper is surprisingly… chill? I guess I’ve been so used to his tv personality that my brain just decided to override his movie personality with tv Skipper.

Buckle your seatbelts, this is going to be a long one ☝️🤓

Movie Skipper is quite a nonchalant, carefree and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but calm character. He’s kinda just minding his own business doing his missions. He’s pretty serious when he’s leading his team and planning his missions, eg. the boat hijacking scene, but generally you’ll see him with a smile on his face. He’s always been a suave and charming little guy with a lot of sarcasm and sass, which he wouldn’t be Skipper without.

Generally he takes no bs, is straight to the point, and is pretty blunt, usually to Alex and his bunch. But this is also where his sass and sarcasm starts to show more. It’s funny. I think that Madagascar 2 really shows his charm and sass more out of the three main movies bc of all the chaos.

It’s pretty safe to say that the penguins are chaotic neutrals (apart from Private maybe) but they do it in such a way that makes it really funny. Not only do they trick the tourists and steal their car (ya know, grand theft auto) but also run over the grandma after seeing she’s still alive (ya know, attempted vehicular homicide). I could name every single crime they commit istg and it’s a long list 💀 But anyway, Skipper does all this with such a chill and carefree attitude and simply doesn’t give a shit. It’s what makes him so funny. It’s a big reason why I love this version of him, bc he doesn’t take everything too seriously and just goes about his day like nothing ever happened.

Obviously, he’s not evil and does still care about others, for example when they rescue Alex and his bunch in Madagascar 2 and 3, as well as stopping Dave in their spinoff. But I do think that he has something against humans (which is understandable) bc he seems to have a general disregard for them which is kinda funny.

In Madagascar 3, you start to see a bit of a shift in his personality and he becomes a little more aggressive. I’m guessing it’s because Tom was used to voicing Skipper more aggressively for the tv series and they also probably adopted a bit of tv Skipper into movie Skipper. But he is still generally pretty nonchalant nonetheless. He isn’t as suave as the other two movies either, but he does activate Kowalski’s nuclear reactor just for the funnies so I’ll give him that. The best thing about them here is their interactions with Dubois, the sheer trail of carnage they leave behind wherever they go, and the funny little quips here and there. Can’t forget bababooey.

The penguins spinoff movie brings back a little of Skipper’s charm and swagger, mostly with the “I do things my own way” attitude and him just being an asshole to Classified bc he doesn’t like him. This movie also makes Skipper more tame than the other movies which I don’t mind that much, but I wish he was a little more chaotic neutral rather than so hellbent on being heroic.

But the thing that really solidified Skipper as a complex character was his character development. This is the first time you get to see his vulnerable side and even from the start of the movie you see that he’s actually pretty sweet underneath all that chaos. When they “lose” Private is when you really start seeing Skipper’s full character, going from carefreeness to pure desperation trying to get his little brother back after he gets kidnapped, which I think was a great way to go because it shows how much he loves his family.

Later on he kinda “gives up” and follows the North Wind’s plan, which is one of the only moments you see him completely vulnerable and unmasked - no clever quip, no opposition, just acceptance. A perfect contrast to his usual “never give up, never back down” attitude. I think it adds a lot more realism to his character and shows that the one thing that can break him is losing one of his brothers. This is something that you don’t really see in the show (other than for a short period of time eg. Skorka) which I think would have been a great way to develop his character more.

When they get Private back at the end of the movie, you get to see Skipper’s sweet side again and his character development comes full circle - he learns to stop undermining Private. He realises he was wrong and tries to make it right. In a way, I guess he takes accountability. Which you don’t see all that often in the show, only episodes like Needle Point coming to mind when thinking about it.

I think that this is another big reason why I prefer movie Skipper over tv Skipper - yeah, he’s a bit flawed and a little simpler than tv Skip, but he makes an effort to change in the end which tv Skipper doesn’t do as much. Movie Skipper is nonchalant, sassy, suave and by the end, pretty sweet. I guess you could say he’s pretty well written and honestly I wish we got to see more of his softer side and less paranoid attitude at the end of the show.

That’s not to say I hate tv Skipper tho, when i was a kid I LOVED him a lot more than movie Skip and I still find him rlly funny, I mean Skipper is Skipper haha. I guess my opinion just changed bc I grew up and I started seeing characters differently and started valuing character development a lot more, but who knows, maybe in a year it’ll change again lmao.

I am so sorry this got so out of hand and turned into a mf essay 💀 I promise the other analysis will be shorter 🙏

#tpom #the penguins of madagascar #penguins of madagascar #tpom skipper #madagascar movie #character analysis #i am so sorry this is ridiculously long 💀 #and this is only part 1 💀

[loveyourownsmiilee]

Hi, reading your blog has been comforting the last couple of days because you never waivered on buddie. I would like to ask you, do you think they will have a feelings realization the ending of the season or only in season 8? Or do you think it will be later? How do you see working for Eddie to figure out his sexuality?

Hi Elle! That’s honestly the sweetest and if anyone ever remembers anything about me I hope it’s that my blog brought them some sort of comfort at one point in their lives! That’s so kind and I’m sending you a big hug 💜 I will never ever waiver on Buddie. I’ve been shipping them since s2 like swear on my dogs life and I just, I can see the chemistry and the potential and the natural progression from friends to more so I’m sat and I’m being patient for what’s to eventually come!!

I really am hoping that come the end of this short season, we have at least one feelings realization. Idk who it’s going to be but if I were a betting woman, my money would have to be on Buck since he’s already one foot there. I really do believe Tommy is a stepping stone and he seems like an aware enough man. He knows something for sure. He was confused when Buck told him he wanted to get his attention and he was looking at Buck midway to a panic attack when he found out Marisol is moving in with Eddie. I’ll kill for a moment like New Girl when Sam is leaving Jess and while he’s in the elevator he goes “Cmon Jess you know. I mean I know. You know…It’s Nick.” So like imagine Tommy and Buck and ending things amicably and he’s trying to gently let Buck know he’s in love with Eddie but Buck has never allowed himself to even consider that possibility. So Tommy kindly tells him, “Cmon Evan you know. I mean I know. You know…it’s Eddie.” AND BOOM WE HAVE HIS FEELINGS REALIZATION! I mean that’s one of many ways it can happen. What I’m trying to say is I can totally see one of them realize their feelings but not have anything happen.

Let’s not forget we still have to get through Eddie breaking up with his girlfriend and dealing with his own things. I will say though, I think Eddie’s in a good enough space mentally to not have a full fledged panic over his sexuality. I know he has religious guilt and all that and I think it’ll be lovely to see him work through things he’s repressed for yearssss. Maybe we’ll find out about a younger Eddie who had a best friend he was into but had to repress that part of himself. Which lead to him trying so hard with Shannon and everything that came after it. What I’m trying to say is I think 8a could totally be Eddie working through his own sexuality (bc I don’t think we have ample time to fully do it this season) and then by the mid season finale, he finally accepts his feelings for Buck and maybe even tells him. And the remainder of the season it’s them trying to work on their relationship turning the romantic route and all that. Who knows but I think ideally I could see Buck realizing his feelings come season 7 finale. Eddie having his sexuality storyline 8a with feelings realization by the mid season finale and then getting together 8b! Hope that helps ☺️

#juju answers #jensenboyjared #buddie #new girl #911 speculation #sorry for rambling I’m in pain killers and legit have no filter atm #also this was SO NICE and I did in fact cry over it

[vivwritesfics]

Bob Floyd- whatever you want. Joint bachelor /bachelorette party, meeting partners nieces and nephews, going to a museum, teaching someone to horseback ride, idk. Run wild.

hahahahahahahaha anything you say? to someone obsessed with bob floyd and cowboys? oh boy oh boy oh boy

okay i did some short cowboy bob bc i've got a whole ass cowboy bob thing that i'll post in... a year (not literally lmao)

Cowboys didn't wear glasses.

Of course, Bob had seen his grandpa wearing glasses, but that was when he was sitting at the kitchen table, sorting through the bills for the ranch. He never wore them when they went on cattle drives or did work on the ranch.

Bob was the only kid at the rodeo wearing glasses growing up. He had his too big Stetson hat on his head as he sat on Ranger, the pony he'd had back then.

There was a time where Bob had not worn his glasses. He was sixteen and insecure. He may have desperately needed them, but he couldn't think of anything more embarrassing than wearing them. Word of warning, ladies and gentlemen, don't try steer roping if you can't fucking see.

Thank God he still had Ranger back then. Ranger took care of him, quite literally kept him from dying that day.

Bob never tried to not wear glasses after that. It just wasn't worth the risk. He couldn't pretend he didn't notice it though. As a man in his mid twenties, watching as the city girls around for a week took his friends home, wearing their cowboy hats.

Never Bob.

He'd be sitting in the corner with his water.

But then he met her.

A city girl, sure, but she didn't want the other cowboys. She didn't to walk out of the bar wearing Roosters cowboy hat, or with Hangmans hand in her back pocket.

Her eyes had been on Bob all night. He hadn't noticed, had been too focused on the game of darts being played by his fellow cowboys. It was only when Natasha, the current rodeo star, pointed it out that he saw her. She was definitely staring at him, a somewhat flirty smile on her face.

When Bob sent a blushy smile in her direction, she looked away, looked back down at her drink. Natasha had to push him to go and talk to her.

"Hey there, cowboy."

Those were her first words. From that point, Bob was hooked. She had never seen cowboys in glasses before, and she loved it. She saw that he tried to hide himself behind his Stetson (which, now he was in his late 20's, finally fit him), and it was so cute.

She had to do most of the talking, but that was fine. He answered every question she had about the rodeo and being a cowboy. (She took his hat and put it on her own head for about five minutes, not knowing what it meant).

Bob surprised himself (and Rooster and Hangman, who had been listening in), when he invited her to see his ranch. She grinned, laced her fingers through him, and let him pull her out to his truck.

#bob floyd #bob floyd imagine #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd fluff #bob floyd x you #robert floyd #robert floyd imagine #robert floyd x reader #robert floyd fluff #robert floyd x you #robert bob floyd #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun bob #bob top gun #cowboy!au

[sunnnfish]

I think this chapter is sooo funny bc once again they’re having the same feeling!!! (Wanting to continue this pseudo dating thing) but they’re approaching it in different ways!!! Hirano feels the need to communicate to Kagiura about it bc they’ve suffered from so much miscommunication in the past, and Kagiura knows that after that whole convo about “moving on”, hiranos going to talk to him about it bc he doesn’t want to hurt/prolong this hurt, and he’s right! But his conclusion is wrong, I think it’s at this point where Kagiura realizes he’s making assumptions! And assuming that he’ll always be rejected that every bit of progress made will have to be made with sweat, blood, and tears is already selling himself short! It’s why at the end of the chapter we see Kagiura acting like he did in the beginning, like what he’s experiencing is too good to be true and he has to talk to someone about it who can level with him about how he’s supposed to interpret it, “how much hope can I have?” Or something, also I love the fact that this conflict doesn’t just ride on Hirano not experiencing romantic feelings but also Kagiura not being completely truthful about what he’s feeling, I think it was mentioned in the hide n seek chapter about this and something about Kagiura wanting Hirano to find out for himself which is so funny considering Kagiuras feelings only reached the point of no return bc of niibashi’s help 😭 idk these situations are always interesting bc Hirano points out contradictions in kagiuras behavior and Kagiura slowly leaves breadcrumbs as to what it means, so that way Kagiura will have his feelings understood not in an intellectual sense but bc he feels the same thing! Anyway KagiHira 5ever I hope they never stop being insane

ITS SO FUNNY!!!! ITS SO SO FUNNYYYY!!!! hahahahhaah. but god youre so right. they want the same damn thing all the time but they keep going about it in different ways or keep misunderstanding each other. like Yeah they were both thinking about the whole moving on thing... but kagiura completely misunderstood hirano. because he will always think its too good to be true. hes bringing up the moving on thing because hes going to reject me. its on some level a kind of self-loathing that ive been really really normal about lately. even though theyre trying the trial pseudo dating thing he doesnt 100% believe that hirano is actually trying. he thinks he has to keep begging hirano to look at him but little does he know hiranos never taken his eyes off him.

and so they both approach this Moving On conversation with selfishness. kagi selfishly begs hirano to keep trying. and he knows hes selfish and so full of desire and he kind of hates himself for it. but hirano also comes in selfishly--i dont want you to move on yet. let me keep trying. i want to understand you so desperately. and then yeah it kind of lightens up as kagi realizes what the fuck he just said and he has to be thinking about that How much hope am i allowed to have. and thank god he has niibashi to talk to about it UNLIKE HIRANO TAIGA. TALK TO SOMEONE YOU BITCH. SOMEONE WHOS NOT MIYANO. BECAUSE MIYANO IS INSANE. sorry. like you said kagi only realized the depth of his feelings after talking to niibashi. before that he was perfectly content with their relationship. hirano just really really needs to talk to somebody. even in a roundabout way. and i do hope its sasaki. sigh. anyways. also the thing about kagi hiding his feelings Yeah 1000%. and hirano pointing out the contradictions. aaauuuuhhggggg kagihira 6ever peace and love on planet kagihira

#hirano to kagiura #sunnfish.ask #anonymous #thank you for the lovely ask anon.... i love you....

[travelingneuritis]

i sent the other ask too but i have more to say. i hope this isnt too irritating. what spawned the comparison was me rereading heartbreak and the stuff about how binghe decided to let go of hatred bc he was suffering as a result and shen yuan said that he hoped binghe wasnt just shoving resentment down because he wanted shen yuan in his life and all i could think was how binghe changed from actively asking why due to shen yuan self destructing......... this fic gave me brainwirms its so good.

Oh my god, yeah!! one of the things that makes me absolutely wild about canon Bingqiu is how they both do and do not resolve their past conflicts. Like IDK Binghe gets a foot in the right direction in that he's willing to leave SQQ at CQMS because he believes that's what SQQ wants, which I suppose does count as growth in comparison with his previous "if Shizun doesn't love me I'll kill everyone else in the world and then myself". but it hardly counts as open communication or any kind of exorcising of their past demons!! I love this! A. of all, these are 2 characters who are NOT going to suddenly know how to communicate openly and honestly when it's either not a skill they've ever practiced (in SQQ's case) or open communication carries too high a risk of rejection (perceived)(in LBH's case) and B. of all, canon is only the setup! ALL THE REAL GROWING IS STILL IN THEIR FUTURE AND THEIR STORY'S JUST BEGUN. I AM CHewING MY OWN TEETH OVEr THEM

but then it's also so much fun to take MXTX's Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms Gang and try to figure out a way to give them slightly better outcomes, slightly sooner, while keeping roughly within their given characterizations, by tweaking the events that happen around them. it feels so indulgent to be like "you may have ONE (1) iota of self awareness, as a treat. Don't spend it all in one place."

idk i just love these clownfools and i love MXTX for bravely giving us boys who are SO broken. ty for reading my fic & being so nice about it <3

#HaOF #bingqiu #svsss

[w2soneshots]

Can you make more of dad Simon and him freeking out wheb he has to be alone with the baby while we ste at the doctors. And he brings the baby boy to side cats bc he is not calming down

Baby boy -Miniminter

Words: 0.6k+

Warnings: none.

In which Simon looks after your baby for the first time by himself, when he’s struggling he goes to the boys for help.

a/n: i love this. enjoy!🫶🏼

"Ok, the bag with everything he needs is on the table, his lunch is in the fridge and try to put him down for his nap by 2." I said to Simon as I rushed to get my shoes on. We recently became parents to a beautiful baby boy. Simon has been amazing so far but today I have a meeting that I can't miss so he's looking after Oscar for the day. I tried to lay everything out ready for him to attempt to calm his nerves. He knows everything that I told him already but when he gets stressed I know his mind goes blank. "I love you, have fun!" I quickly kissed both of my boys on the cheek then left.

Simon's pov:

"I can do this. Everything is gonna be fine." I tried to reassure myself. I sat on the couch and got comfy, rocking Oscar back and forth gently. After just an hour he began hysterically crying. "Shh, it's ok daddy's here, shh. Please." I pleaded to the small but extremely loud baby in my arms. I've already tried changing his nappy, giving him some of his lunch (he wanted nothing to do with it) and putting him down for his nap a little early but he just continued to cry.

I couldn't call y/n because she's in the middle of a very important meeting. So I text the boys: "guys I don't know what to do he won't stop fucking crying😫" I got a reply almost immediately "we're just about to film for the pod, bring him here?" Tobi text. I sighed in relief "you sure? I don't want him to disturb you" "yes mate, I've been wanting to see him for ages!!" Harry replied. I quickly got myself and Oscar ready, grabbed the bag y/n had thankfully packed for me and left.

The drive felt like torture, I was desperately trying to focus on the road while a screaming baby wiggled in the back seat. When I finally parked up outside the tall building where we film more sidemen and things for side+ I quickly got out and grabbed Oscar from the back. When I got inside I checked in and apologised for the interruption, thankfully everyone was really nice about it. "How can someone this little make such a loud noise?" I thought to myself as the lift came to a stop.

"Hey! I could hear you coming from down the hall." Tobi said once I made it to the office. "Yea." I replied tiredly. "Oscar!" Harry shouted, running up to us "oh nelly. Can I hold him?" He asked. I nodded quickly. Harry gently took him from my arms and went to sit down in the side cast set. He stopped crying. I mentally thanked Harry. "How on earth does y/n do this, she's amazing" I thought. One of the team members brought me a coffee and I quickly drank it as I watched Harry gently rock Oscar. "I never knew you were so good with kids." Tobi spoke to the Guernsey boy. "Yea, before Oscar and Olive came about I assumed you didn't like em." I added. Harry chuckled quietly.

"The girls are gonna go crazy when they see that pod." Tobi said as we left, referring to the fact Harry sat with a baby the entire time we were filming and kept getting distracted by his light snoring. I laughed "one hundred percent." Harry sighed "well I better get home, see you boys tomorrow." I nodded "thank you guys, I seriously don't think I could have gotten through today if it wasn't for you." I said sincerely. "Don't sweat it, we know you'd do the same." Tobi stated.

When I got home I sat with Oscar until y/n got back. The door clicked and then opened "hey! How are my boys?" She said practically dropping everything in her hands. I sighed "good." She cocked her head slightly "not as easy as you thought?" "No definitely not." I replied. She giggled.

#simon minter x reader #simon minter #miniminter x reader #miniminter #fanfic #image #oneshot #sidemen #side cast #side+ #dad!simon #x female reader #x fem!reader #x y/n #x you #x reader

[xemmez]

hello people of the interwebs tonight i am going to open up on my weirdfur tumblr account real because i love you all. imagine i’m talking to you at a sleepover and i’m laying on my stomach kicking my feet in the air as i speak.

(cw : medical talk/mutilation)

okay to be so real this isn’t anything important. i’m just genuinely trying to get my thoughts down and it’s beeeeeeen a time and a half lately.

so. i have a chronic illness is the pelvis area so i get consistent ultrasounds and ct scans to make sure it’s (mass) not getting worse while the doctors decide if i need surgery or not. it’s a real scary thing and it’s been my life for a while now so i’m almost getting used to it, but truly i’m still getting hit by surprises left and right. with this.

the biggest. surprise that i received today is that from my latest ultrasound/ct exam, my main doc basically confirmed that i am intersex. which is insane and something wild to be dropped on me in the middle of my 12 hour shift at work. it’s very confusing though because my main doctor basically confirmed it while my secondary doctor (the lady who does the ultrasound specializing mess) — basically brushed it off immediately.

i feel like it does make sense and explains some stuff i’ve never really considered in my life. apparently i’m “missing some internal equipment” and my genitalia has some “unusual scarring” that i’ve never noticed since it’s underneath the whole show if you get my deal.

i am. really brainweird over this revelation. as much as i wish it was the answer to my problems and would magically fix my issues, i’m really hoping that it just won’t make it worse. i used to routinely go in and out of urgent care and this was one of the first times i’ve actually been to a real specialist for this stuff and this is the answer i get which is never what i would have thought.

i know my hormones are fucked up too. but i also have other stuff wrong with me that affects my hormones, so i thought THAT was part of it. but it might actually be part of this and i guess i’ve just never considered this in my entire life.

i’ve always felt weird about gender and stuff like that. either due to being plural or due to other factors, my gender has always been really difficult to pin down. i really have felt “neutral” in my identity for years now since i’ve been questioning for so long anyways and i’m wondering if this hormonal and disconnect from even having a true “sex” assigned whatever is making it weird again.

i don’t even really know where to start. i mean, it’s actively now apart of my recovery since my doctor’s have to discuss the parts i have that are underdeveloped or straight up missing to talk about how to solve my problem (the problem may be BECAUSE of this too) so it’s kind of a stressful thing but also new??? i don’t know honestly.

like now i’m having gender thoughts and then i’m feeling disconnected from my body and then i’m feeling worried about my chronic stuff and then now i don’t know how to feel. i don’t even know if i’m diagnosed like i don’t know where that goes??? i don’t even know what that means for me it’s just so strange they’re treating it like such a casual thing but i guess they’re just wanting to not freak me out and want to focus on the issue.

hhmmmghhhh. i don’t know. i think i’m having a gender crisis kinda but like what do i do about that right now while i’m just trying to focus on all this health stuff and other stressors. i luckily have a day tomorrow to just rest before my next appointment on tuesday and i can just think.

if you read this mess….. thank you my friend bc this is just a ramble session of the greatest kind. i might be intersex and that’s really fucking with my gender big time right now. you are very nice for reading a sillybrain midnight ramble.

#xemme talk