#so i wonder what paul means by saying he didn't *really* just said i love you to john

[nkogneatho]

۪۫❁ུ۪۪𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 °࿐

—a/n: first thing i wrote after hiatus so still a bit rusty but i tried my best to deliver my emotions. If this gets good response, I'll do part 2. Not proofread. fem!reader

#mlist #taglist #art commissions

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎.𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐎𝐖𝐒

For someone who's so confident, Satoru for the first time found himself anxious, legs trembling in the wonderment of what his bext action should be. He was standing at the altar in his neat pale grey suit. All eyes were fixated on him. But that's not what made him nervous. It was how he would react when he sees you. And just then, you appeared like the fragment of his best intentions.

The wedding band started playing the theme. Your white flowy satin dress dancing to the rhythm of the wind. Your beautiful face concealed a little from the veil. You looked so perfect. And just when you finally reached the altar, you stood parallel to him, smiling and satisfied with his reaction. You've never seen him so engorged in something—or someone.

The minister asked him to proceed with the vows.

"Y/N L/N. I usually am the one to talk a lot. But for the first time, I am short of words." You smiled at him.

"I think it's crazy how I see you everyday, but somehow you still manage to take my breath away with how beautiful you are. I know I call myself the honored one...but trust me darling, I am nothing but a fish in your ocean. You...you are my everything. And when I say that, I mean it. I want you to know that if the world is ever against you, I'll be in the front protecting you with all I have. I love you so much, baby." It feels like he's choking on his words.

This man that just said thst he's at loss for words, proceeded to make you tear up with a poetry. You've never been love so much in life. It feels unreal. But you know it's all true when as soon as you say "I do" his lips are on yours, reminding that every touch you feel is real.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

The hall was decorated with white lillies and tulips that you loved so much. People grooving and chattering to the background music. Soon it was time for the moment you've been waiting for. The dance. Your first dance with Geto. The lights dimmed and the spotlight hit the floor as you and Suguru walked into the bright refraction on the floor. The crowd dispersing away to give the newly married couple their full attention.

One of his hands was on your waist while the other intertwined one of yours.

Put your head on my shouuulder...

You both smiled wide as you couldn't have asked for a better song. This was the song that you once told Geto you'd like to dance to. Since then, he remembered to play twirl you around to Paul Anka at every occasion. And this one had to be the best one yet.

Hold me in your arms, baby...

He mouthed the words and you couldn't help but giggle. Suguru doesn't usually sing but he has this deep voice that blend perfectly to the song. It sounds like heaven.

"Get ready to dance to this every anniversary, my love," he whispered.

The room was filled with so many people. Yet, when your eyes recasted your signature "i love you" look, he suddenly felt the world disappear, and only you two exist.

That's when he realized, he really did get lucky when you fell in love with him.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍

As always, you woke up late. It's surprising how Toji looks like the one who'd be irresponsible when it's actually you. But hey! He can't complain about it. Weddings and Receptions are tiring. If he could, he'd let you sleep for one whole day if you didn't have a flight to catch. You quickly got dressed and rushed to the airport with your man.

The flight was awful since you were irritated by the snorer next to you. Trust me. You wanted to stuff the macadamia nuts in his nostrils but Toji stopped you from doing so. He had a better and more rational solution of putting headphones over your ears and playing you your favorite song. Your lips widened when his thumb started circling your thighs to calm you and make you relax.

Upon arriving to the hotel, you finally took a big stretch to wash all the tiredness away.

"IT'S HONEYMOON TIME, BABY!!"

You jumped in excitement and pretty much everyone at the entrance was staring at you and Toji. He won't stop you though. He loves watching you dance around everytime you're happy.

You both walked towards the receptionist, with Toji carrying all the luggage. Gotta use the big beefy man privilege baby.

"Good afternoon. How may I help you?"

"Good afternoon. We reserved a suite here a week ago."

"Okay. May I please know the name you reserved it under?" she asked.

"Oh it's Mr. And Mrs. Fushiguro." The moment those words left your lips, Toji felt his world shift. He knew that you were a Fushiguro whenyou signed the marriage certificate. He knew it when you said "I do" at the altar. He knew it when he placed the ring on your finger. But hearing it from your mouth made him have butterflies in his stomach. Wow. You are really his. He couldn't for one second believe it.

"So this is how heaven feels like," he mumbled.

"You said something, baby?"

"Oh nothing, my love. Just that you're beautiful "

"I'm running in four hours of sleep. My under eyes are darker than your black shirt," you whispered.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You're still the most beautiful person to exist," he argued and you just rolled your eyes. You genuinely wanted to know how he manages to find you beautiful at every occasion.

"Are you in denial?"

"No, darling. I am in love."

Taglist: @sugurini @princess-okkotsu @saturnsoups @cookingforsatoru @oldbutnotold @rin-vana @bimbno @arisaturn @tojigasam @bxrnthyfears @gojoxxluv @seqeva @nanamikentoseyebags @stariwrites @sluttoru @lvmxn @greycaelum @kokonoiscoconut @deskaisers @icyowl @thesimphouse @anxious-chick @monimonieee @sweet-yzabelle @keichartreusely @arguablyferal @kannra21 @bbytamaki @rwibbnz @ta-ni-ya @mamayan @strawwbee @jesi-pinkman @fueledbysano @psychiccloudobject @baewriites @wystericwoes @his-saiko

#jjk x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #toji x reader #jjk fluff #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk scenarios #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo fluff #geto fluff #toji fluff #gojo x you #geto x you #toji x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x fem!reader #gojo x fem!reader #geto x female reader #toji x female reader

[undying-love]

Paul being very secure about his sexuality: A compilation

"The reason why we didn’t do Up Against It wasn’t because it was too far out or anything. We didn’t do it because it was gay. We weren’t gay and really that was all there was to it. It was quite simple, really. Brian was gay…and so he and the gay crowd could appreciate it. Now, it wasn’t that we were anti-gay – just that we, The Beatles, weren’t gay."

“It was always obvious Brian was gay and we could talk to him about gay things, but he would never come out with, ‘Hello, Paul, you’re looking nice today.’ I was quite obviously un-gay, due to my hunting of the female hordes. I think we all gave that impression."

Q:  You must be very secure with yourself.

Paul: I think it is that. I'm OK with gay people, too, because I'm essentially comfortable with my sexuality. I can goof around with gay people. I sort of know who I am by now.  And it's about time.

"I imagine he heard it [Dear Friend]. I think he listened to my records, but he never responded directly. That wasn't his way. We were guys; it wasn't like a boy and a girl. In those days you didn't release much emotion with each other."

"One thing he told us was that one in every four men is homosexual. So we looked at the group! One in every four! It literally meant one of us is gay. Oh, fucking hell, it’s not me, is it? We had a lot of soul-searching to do over that little one."

"There's a song I do called Here Today which is specifically written for John. That sometimes catches me out. I realise I'm telling this man that I love him and it's like I'm publicly declaring this in front of all these people I don't know. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing.

Q: In “Here Today”, you talk about your love for John. Did you ever say that to him, in those days?" Paul: No. I'm sure we both felt it. But that is not something two boys use to say to each other. If they were gay, maybe. Otherwise it is rare that that happens."

"My view is that these things are there whether you want them or not, in your interior. You don't call up dreams, they happen, often the exact opposite of what you want. You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, 'Shit, am I gay?' I like that you don't have control over it. But there is some control -- it is you dreaming, it is your mind it's all happening in."

"We were in New York before he [George] went to Los Angeles to die, and they were silly but important to me. And, I think, important to him. We were sitting there, and I was holding his hand, and it occurred to me — I’ve never told this — I don’t want to hold George’s hand. You don’t hold your mate’s hands. I mean, we didn’t anyway. "

"Yeah, I think he [John] did [love me], yeah. It wasn’t actually a spiky relationship at all. It was, uh, very warm, very close and very loving, I think. All The Beatles. We used to say, I think we were amongst the first sort of men to come out openly – and you remember, it was quite sort of strange in those days, we’re talking about a long time ago now when homosexuality was still sort of largely illegal."

"Because he [Robert Faser] was gay, it raised a few small-minded eyebrows, and funnily enough, one or two of them were from within the Beatles: ‘Hey, man, he’s gay, what you going off to Paris with him for? They’re gonna talk, you know. Tongues are going to wag.’ I said, ‘I know tongues are going to wag, but tough shit.’ I was secure about my sexuality. I always felt this is is fine. I can hang with whoever I want and it didn’t worry me. I mean, we didn’t share a room or anything."

"With Robert’s thing of course there would be gayness. But there was no open gayness. If there was to be gayness it would be a quiet phone call that Robert would go and take in the bedroom or something. That was one of the good things, actually, because I knew he was gay and he knew I wasn’t gay so we were quite safe in our own | sexuality. We could talk to each other. "

Lastly, there is this odd anecdote that may or may not mean anything, but here it is:

One of the strangest of these incidents came at the end of 1992 when Mark Featherstone-Witty attended the MPL Christmas lunch. Mark took an accountant friend to the meal, a McCartney fan he'd known for years, which led to a strange and unpleasant row. By Mark's recollection, Paul's manager Richard Ogden summoned him into the MPL office the next day where he read him the riot act for bringing an unwelcome guest to Paul's party. 'What do you mean by bringing someone who was so obviously gay to Paul's Christmas party? Have you any idea about the responsibility you carry in this project?' he allegedly asked. 'What are you talking about?' replied Featherstone-Witty, explaining who his friend was. 'But he was gay, you stupid fucker!' 'No, he isn't.' 'You've got to be careful. You can't do anything that would embarrass Paul...'"

Fab : An intimate Life of Paul McCartney by Howard Sounes

#paul mccartney #Mr “I'm very secure about myself” #mclennon #oh paul #This is a very long post #probably my longest ever #but there is a lot to unpack here

[bloodynereid]

hey i was wondering if you could write a warren rojas x reader fic where the reader is an absolute rockstar and what their relationship would be like since they’re two musicians dating one another while living with the six

i love ur writing

tyyy 💕💕💕

Rhythm of Our Love

pairing: warren rojas/rhodes x fem! reader

a/n: hi! tysm for ur request and hopefully I fulfilled it the best I could. also u didn't specify if you wanted fem or gender neutral reader so i kind of just went with fem if that's okay. also this fic kind of ran away from me so I guess you just get to spend 5.3k words falling more in love with warren (I personally like longer fics). oh and there's a lot of billy bashing in this, which wasn't really intentional but yk it happens. oh and btw i hadn't watched the new episodes yet when i wrote this so this is really just mixed with some book events so book spoilers (!!) - reader is kind of like female pete if that makes sense

tw: drug mentions (mescaline, weed, pills), addiction mentions, billy bashing (don't know if that qualifies as a warning lmao), swearing, cigarette smoking, mentions of cheating (billy and camila - not warren + reader)

description: the rise to fame of a band and the love story between the drummer and bassist that accompanies it.

Y/N (bassist for Daisy Jones & The Six): Is this on? Yeah okay right. So where do you want me to start? The beginning. Geez okay let’s start at the beginning then.

You grew up living next to the Dunne brothers and ended up taking up bass after listening to Queen and The Beatles. John Deacon and Paul McCartney made those songs what they were and you were proud to be able to play something similar to them. So it was only natural that you ended up joining the Dunne brothers after Graham accidentally heard you playing one summer night.

Y/N: God I can remember the first time I played with them so clearly. They had become a pretty established band in Hazelwood but Chuck had quit, wanting to go to dental school or some shit like that, so they were going to give the bass part to Eddie, until Graham found me.

Eddie: Y/N was a lifesaver. I would have to play bass if Graham hadn’t gotten her to join. Plus she was one of the best things that could have happened to the band.

It was a chilly night but you rocked up to your neighbor’s garage wearing a pair of flared jeans and a butterfly top. Your bass slung over your shoulder and a cigarette between your lips. 

Warren: Y/N was a total rockstar from the beginning. And the way she carried herself that night, man, she was the most attractive woman I had ever seen.

“So are we ready to get this show on the road? I’ve been working on the sheets that Graham gave me yesterday.” You said as you entered the small room where all the boys were already tuning up and Warren was playing a random rhythm on the drums.

“We’re opening for the Winters in two days. Make sure you aren’t still ‘working’ on those sheets.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” You gave him a little salute whilst rolling your eyes which learned a few laughs from the group and a frown from Billy.

“Whatever, let’s just get this going.”

Graham: Billy was an asshole when he first met Y/N. Similar to how he was with Daisy, but he knew we needed her. 

Eddie: Y/N handled Billy better than I think anyone ever has. She met his challenges with blunt sarcasm and humor. Anyone who could deal with his bullshit made an instant friend with me.

Warren: I don’t think she knew how hot I found her at that moment.

Y/N: I knew. I mean I had been harboring a little crush on Warren since middle school. I wanted to impress him and I would say I succeeded.

Warren: She had a crush on me in MIDDLE SCHOOL? If I had known that it would have made things a hell of a lot easier.

Y/N: Fast-forward two days, came the night that changed everything. I mean my first gig was the time we opened for the Winters. My fingers were cramping and I had a horrible backache from the amount of practice I had been doing. On a plus side I got to meet Camila. She was just… incredible. God knows that Billy doesn’t deserve that wonderful woman at all.

You were running on a total of 2 hours of sleep. The past two nights had been spent practicing the pieces over and over again by yourself. And then the days were filled with practice with the boys. The band needed this to be perfect and you understood the weight of that completely. You were a rockstar. You were meant for this. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself as you walked into the performing area, staring wide eyed at the space.

Y/N: All I was thinking was: “You better not fuck this up.” That was the night we also met Karen. Karen Karen, my soon to be best friend. She was the keyboardist for The Winters and let’s just say Graham fell in love at first sight.

Right before we were about to go on stage a sudden crushing feeling started to encompass your chest. You were actually going to do this. Oh fuck.

Warren: I could tell she was having a freakout. I mean if it was my first time playing with a new band AND I had only had 2 days to practice I would have been hyperventilating. So I went up to her.

“What’s your favorite fruit?” That silky voice brought you out of your spiral with the most absurd question that had ever been uttered.

“Uh what?”

“What’s your favorite fruit? Mine personally are strawberries.”

“Oh umm I don’t know, I kind of like Y/F/F (your favorite fruit).”

“Cool, you good?” That was when you realized what he had done. You sent Warren a blinding smile and leaned to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Yeah thanks I owe you one.”

Warren: Call me a sap or whatever but I can still feel that kiss. I treasured that for a long time. Anyways, she was incredible that night. 

Y/N: There was like this electrifying feeling of being on stage and playing to all those people. I wanted to feel like that forever. Maybe it was also pure exhaustion but I swear it felt like I was on a high.

Billy: She played really well, I mean for a person who had two days of practice.

Y/N: We met Rod Reyes after our set. The man was a douchebag but he planted that LA dream in all of us. I was probably too exhausted to have been making decisions of that kind but…

“If you all will have me, I say fuck it let’s go to LA!”

“Let’s go to LA!”

Y/N: None of us stayed for the Camila and Billy drama, so Warren dropped me off last. We smoked weed for a while. We talked about all that weird philosophical shit that you talk about when high. Then I crashed for a few hours.

It was raining buckets. You pulled up in your dad’s car outside of Warren’s house. You had those weirdly unattached parents who really didn’t give a damn about what you did. They already had their hopes pinned on your older brothers so when you asked if you could move to LA, your parents couldn’t have helped you pack up faster.

“Bye dad.”

“Bye sweetheart. Don’t forget your bass.” He gave you an uncomfortable hug before passing your last suitcase filled with small remnants of your life.

“Hey Mr. L/N. I can take that.”

“Thanks Graham.” He quickly put up your few suitcases on the roof and you waved at your dad as he disappeared into the blankets of rain.

“Ready?”

“Definitely.” Warren helped you into the van and you got situated in a comfortable spot. You lit up one of your cigarettes and opened up the pages of your slightly damp book, waiting for a while until finally everything seemed ready to go. Well not everything.

“Got room for one more?” Camila got into the van and sent you a little smile before cosying up next to Billy.

Y/N: That road trip was one of those things that was both horrible and incredible at the same time. But when we got to LA man wow it was like we were transported and then we met Rod Reyes, again. He was such an asshole but at least we finally had some gigs lined up and a house, but calling it that might actually be a bit generous. 

Warren: Graham insisted we kept the haunted room for Karen. And obviously Billy and Camila got a room. Which meant Y/N was either stuck on the couch or rooming with one of us. And… Graham and Eddie already called the bunks.

“This is so fucking unfair! Why does your non-existent girlfriend get a room and I don’t?”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“Fuck you Graham. Where the fuck am I meant to sleep then huh?”

“Uh well Eddie and I are sharing the bunks.”

Y/N: It was like a really bad romance movie.

“You have got to be kidding me! Did any of you even think to count the rooms in this house?”

“Guys just shut the fuck up. Y/N you’re going to sleep in Warren’s room and that’s final. You’re all acting like children.”

Y/N: That was also one of the many times that Camila basically acted like our mother, in a good way.

“You know what, fine! I hope you’re happy Graham.” You said as you slammed the door to your new room and unpacked in a furious hurry. 

Warren: There was a king sized bed that took up basically the entirety of our room. Honestly it was one of the worst rooms in the house, but at least it wasn’t haunted! 

Y/N: Warren wanted to take the floor but if you saw that room you would know that the floor basically consisted of like a slab of wood. The closet and the bed took up the entire space and then there was this huge window. It didn’t even have curtains! Whoever designed that room was an idiot. But we didn’t have the money for anything else.

Warren: I tried to be a gentleman about it but like I would never have been able to sleep on the floor and I wasn’t sleeping outside.

Y/N: Not going to lie after that first night I was kind of grateful to Graham. Don’t tell him I said that though. Anyways we played so many gigs and were getting nowhere. And we were slowly running out of money. Oh and Karen did end up joining the band and she got the room.

You were all seated in some random diner with Camila counting out all the money you had gotten from gigs and your little part-time job working at a movie theater. On your side of the table sat Karen, Warren, you and then Eddie.

“Why are we still called the Dunne brothers, anyway?” That ended up sparking up a rather loud discussion of our side of the table against Billy. You rolled your eyes and leaned your head on Warren’s shoulder. You could see his stupid smile as he looked down at you so you just poked him in the ribs and he laughed.

“I for one am for changing the name.” You said as you took a drag of your cigarette, adding to the already thick cloud of smoke that surrounded the band.

“You see, Billy, basically the entire band is against you on this one.”

“No, no. The band name is what gives us credibility if we change it then all of our reputation goes out of the window.”

“Oh our Pittsburgh reputation really? Or maybe the reputation of not being able to get good gigs.” You barked back at the already angry man which made Eddie send you a grateful smile.

Then came the barrage of horrible name ideas, including one from Warren that made you look up at him from his shoulder in confusion and slight disgust.

“Look okay, the seven of us will never agree on the name.” That’s when it came to you.

“What about The Six?”

“Huh?” Everyone turned to you as you sat up and took a sip of Warren’s coffee.

“I mean no offense Camila but you aren’t technically part of the band so there’s six of us. We can be called The Six. The Five is used too much and The Seven sounds like way too many members so how about The Six?”

“You know what, I like it.”

“Me too.”

Y/N: So we had a shiny new band name, my relationship with Warren had gone from band mates to really good friends. And no I don’t mean that in an innuendo way but you get really close to someone you have to share a bed with every night. We had some good nights.

Warren: I always thought that Y/N would end up moving in with Karen after she joined but she didn’t. I think she knew that that room was haunted.

“So who do you think the most attractive person in the band is?” You and Warren were lying on the bed in a drug addled haze after taking some mushrooms he had gotten from one of his hippie friends.

“Huh?” You sluggishly turned to look at his face, finding that his eyes were already on you.

“Who do you think is the most attractive in the band?”

“Hmm I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean Graham and Billy aren’t my type. Eddie is hopelessly in love with Camila-”

“Wait what?”

“Dude are you blind?”

“No? I mean I know Graham likes Karen but she doesn’t like him.”

“That is like the most obvious observation I have ever heard.”

“Hey! So that just leaves… Camila, Karen and me. Wait, is Camila the person who you find most attractive? I’m not judging if she is.”

“I can’t lie she’s really pretty and Karen is absolutely stunning but no not the person I find most attractive.”

“Me?”

“Yes dumbass. Now it’s your turn to answer the question.”

“Oh that’s easy, you obviously.” You smiled bashfully at him as his mischievous smirk grew.

“You are too charming for your own good.”

“I could say the same thing about you.” That was when you both fell silent. Maybe it was the confidence the drugs gave you but you quickly gave him a kiss before backing away.

“You like me back?”

“Obviously you dumbass, I've liked you for ages. Why do you think I’ve been cuddling with you for the past few months? I don’t do that with every single person I know.”

“I don’t know.”

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

Y/N: As I said, a really cheesy romance movie. But I found Warren and we fit like puzzle pieces.

Warren: We were high on shrooms when she kissed me. We didn’t do much else that night, other than kissing and then sleeping.

Y/N: I may have loved Warren but we weren’t sleeping together until I knew he was serious. I had seen him with the small amount of groupies that we had. I’m not a jealous woman but that right there boiled my very core.

Warren: I stopped hanging out with the groupies after that night. Y/N became the light of my life, I wasn’t going to ruin the only good thing going for me that wasn’t the band.

Y/N: Then Billy convinced Teddy Price to listen to one of our songs. I have no idea how he did it. The next few months after that song were the most anxiety I had ever experienced but they were also the happiest. I was doing what I loved and I was doing it with the person I loved. Then we got to record the album. 

Karen: Y/N and Warren went official a few weeks before we got the album deal. They were the most obnoxiously cute couple I had ever been around. And they complemented each other incredibly well.

Graham: Honestly I take it as full credit to my genius that those two first got together.

Camila: Oh Y/N and Warren… god they were one of those strangely healthy couples. They were living the life, they had each other, the band and the drugs. They were insanely happy together.

Y/N: We were going to go on tour! That was huge for us and for me. A few days before we went though, Camila told us she was pregnant. They got married that night.

Warren: The wedding? Oh I don’t remember it that much. Mescaline… well it’s a powerful drug.

Y/N: Did Warren tell you we were on mescaline the entire night? Yeah. God, I wish I had been more present in that moment but we truly were having the time of our lives. Camila being pregnant also put things into perspective for us. Protection wasn’t a big thing in the 70s but I had been taking birth control after I read a few books. I wasn’t taking any chances. 

Warren: Yeah we had a deep discussion about that. I think that was one of the many times where I realized how shit it was to be a woman of that time. I supported whatever she wanted to do fully.

Y/N: We went on tour. It was fine. Billy was an asshole but he went off the rails. I mean Warren and I were a bit out of control cause you know… fame. But Billy, he went hard on all the drugs and the groupies.

Warren: We were there to have a good time but I also recognized something in Billy that I never wanted to be. I stayed away from the hard drugs and sure we hung out with groupies but I would never betray Y/N like that.

Y/N: Then Camila arrived, heavily pregnant and she found Billy getting it on with some groupie. Fuck, I really tried to call her but you never want to hurt someone like that you know. Fast forward a few shows and well we found out Camila had given birth. Teddy put Billy in a rehab center. We cut the tour short and that fucked it up with the label. I think it also made me realize how incredibly lucky I was to have found Warren.

Warren: The next few months the band was idle. Y/N and I did a ton of mushrooms and we helped babysit Julia. It was actually really nice and domestic.

Y/N: I was bored out of my mind. I wasn’t suited for an idle lifestyle. When Billy decided to stop being an idiot and rejoined the band, things finally started to look up. And then we all met Daisy Jones.

“Why can’t we just have Karen or Y/N sing this stuff? If you want an edge we have that already.”

“Oh no way, Billy. I don’t sing, I’ll help with backing but that’s it.” You said as you stamped out your cigarette on the tray.

“I’m with Y/N. Plus I agree with Teddy, it will give us a new sound.” Billy stormed out of the room at that leaving you and the rest of the band to chuckle at his dramatics.

Y/N: We were all enraptured with her when she first walked into the studio. She was wearing a button down shirt and no pants. That made one hell of an entrance. And of course, Billy wasn’t pleased.

“Hi nice to meet you Daisy. I’m Y/N.” You said as she walked into the recording studio while Warren’s arm was secured around your shoulders.

“You too. Thank you all for having me.”

“You’re welcome.” Graham answered.

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road.” You and the rest of the band left the room and went into the production booth.

Y/N: She was incredible. Even if she did try to change up Billy’s song. Personally I always liked her version. After that recording session it all kind of blew up. Billy wanted to keep the song as it was and obviously he did that until Daisy showed up to one of our shows at The Whisky. We then headed out to our world tour, The Numbers tour as it was dubbed featuring Daisy Jones.

Warren: We were making money, a ton of money at that. Sold out shows everywhere we went.

Y/N: I’m pretty sure that was the tour that Karen and Graham started hooking up. Warren didn’t believe me, he had his own theories. Like he thought Bones, our lighting guy… *cue you breaking out into laughter*, sorry sorry, but geez yeah Warren was honestly the most clueless guy I had ever met and I loved him for it. Then came the show for Rolling Stone, that was an incredible show but Eddie… that man had basically become my brother at that point. What Billy did was one of the worst things he could have ever done to him.

Eddie: I couldn’t take it anymore so I had to do something.

Y/N: I understood why he smashed that guitar. I would have done the same thing. But my bass was also something I had basically built all by myself. I wasn’t going to hurt my baby.

After all of the drama, you quickly made your way over to Eddie before Jonah Berg came down. A cup of water in hand and a cigarette dangling from your lips. 

“Ed?” You walked up next to your best friend and gave him a little shoulder nudge.

“Oh hey Y/N.” His voice sounded thick with underlying rage. One that you recognized all too well.

“I’m really fucking sorry.” And you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

Y/N: When you spend a long time around someone you kind of learn their tells. Warren and I were incredibly good at reading each other. And I was just incredibly similar to Eddie, so I knew how to help him… we both have really horrible tempers. Warren and the drugs had been helping but Eddie didn’t have a Warren.

Eddie: What Y/N did after that show… she knew I didn’t want to talk about it. She became my sister at that moment.

Y/N: I think Warren and I should have probably stopped Daisy. But we were sort of mooching off her stash. We promised each other to not go on the hard stuff but I think I was getting addicted.

Warren: Drugs were a normal thing in the 70s and we were having fun! But yeah I was feeling like I was starting to depend on pills.

Y/N: I was getting sloppy with my playing so I knew I needed to start weaning myself off it. We didn’t know much about addiction back then so it was hard to stop but we did the best we could. Well for one thing we didn’t go cold turkey.

Warren: When she told me, I understood her completely, I was feeling the effects of it too. We kind of talked through it a bunch and decided we should probably lay off the heavier psychedelics. Being rockstars meant you were down to have fun but if she wasn’t happy then I was going to try and remedy that.

Eddie: I think after the whole Glasgow thing I saw Y/N become more level headed. The same with Warren. I think they made some decision to get like moderately clean. They were still smoking pot and stuff but stopped with the pills and harder stuff.

Karen: I swear I thought they were either trying to get pregnant or Y/N already was. The fact that after that Rolling Stone interview they suddenly stopped taking anything stronger than weed is probably what made me suspicious.

Y/N: I ended up sitting next to Eddie for most of the flight back, leaving Warren to sleep. I think we were the only two band members that weren’t consulted about Daisy, but I honestly didn’t give a damn. It was nice to have another girl around and… I was probably feeling the withdrawal.

Warren: When we got back to LA, I bought a one-bedroom Gibson.

Y/N: Warren bought a boat and I bought a little house which has a boat dock, it was kind of like a perfect compromise. 

Warren: I kept my boat mostly at Y/N’s house but we occasionally went on little trips. Mostly we drank beers on it and spent nights at the house. Y/N took up sports for some reason but I wasn’t going to complain, she looked hot.

Y/N: Yeah, I took up surfing, boxing and got into soccer. I was still practicing bass daily but without the band getting together much that summer, Warren and I kind of just did whatever. We smoked a lot of weed too. We were moderately clean and we were happy but I think deep down we missed life on the road.

Warren: Neither of us were ones for settling down. That’s probably why Y/N got into sports and I bought that boat. Oh and Eddie was around a lot. At first I thought he was trying to get into Y/N’s pants or something but they have this weird bond that reminded me of how my sisters and I acted.

Eddie: I visited Y/N and Warren A LOT. I don’t think they minded me being there, I basically took up permanent residence in Y/N’s spare bedroom. Y/N and I actually wrote a lot of songs during those days and we both got into surfing. And the LA surf scene was something else but I was itching for the road and they were too. So when the call came in from Graham we were all ready to leave. 

Y/N: We got together in The Rainbow and that’s where everyone just started to talk about everything and what parts they wanted to play. I mean I was already writing my bass lines so I was fine in that department. Warren and I mostly stayed out of the conversation, just smoking and making little jokes.

Graham: I think this was one of the only times that Y/N was completely silent around Billy. I mean Warren and her had always been pretty independent but they seemed like they were in their own little world. Well that was at least until Eddie stepped in.

“Look I don’t want us to turn into some kind of pop group dynamic.”

“You know what I agree with Eddie.”

“Oh so you’re finally going to talk.”

“What the hell?! I didn’t have anything to contribute and was making it easier for you and now you’re getting mad at me for actually pitching in?”

Billy: Y/N and Eddie hated me. I don’t know what I ever did to them but they got on my nerves constantly.

Daisy: Y/N was a spitfire. Eddie and her kind of had this team dynamic that was based on ganging up on Billy. Not that he didn’t deserve it but there was always underlying tension.

Y/N: I never hated Billy. He just wasn’t someone I particularly liked. He thought the world revolved around him and he loved trying to be the boss. He never once listened to my ideas, even if I had been there from basically the beginning. Eddie and I were just getting fed up.

“Okay, everyone just calm down. Billy, Eddie does have a point.” Teddy Price was always the peacemaker in these things. You scoffed and leaned in closer to Warren who had taken to rubbing circles on your arm to calm you.

Y/N: We walked out of there with a new name: Daisy Jones & The Six. I guess you can call that the beginning of the end. While Daisy and Billy went off to compose, the rest of us worked on Aurora together. By the time we were going to play it for Billy I think it sounded pretty incredible but… he hated it. You could see the revulsion on his face but Teddy convinced him to keep it. Oh but Daisy loved it! I knew I liked her for a reason.

Warren: Daisy got on really well with Y/N and I during the entire time we made Aurora. We had that easy way of suggesting things for each other and giving feedback that we all followed.

Daisy: I wish I had a relationship like those two. They respected the other person in a way I had never seen before and they were so hopelessly in love with each other. I knew it was only a short time before they would get married. I was honestly jealous of what they had.

Y/N: I never went to one of Daisy’s infamous parties. Not because I didn’t want to but because I was happier. Which sounds really fucked up cause everyone else wasn’t doing that great around that time. I think the fact that I stopped taking drugs helped A LOT. Warren and I were enjoying life so you know we obviously took the next step. We got married.

Warren: We didn’t tell anyone we were getting married. And no one really knew until the band broke up.

Y/N: We got married in a little chapel on this hill near Long Beach. I refused to do a Vegas wedding even if we were eloping.

Warren: She was insanely beautiful that day. We both showed up in pretty casual wedding clothes.

Y/N: I was wearing a long sleeve all-white prairie dress that I had bought the day we decided to do it. It wasn’t my style at all.

Warren: We spent our honeymoon at our little house. And we didn’t answer the phone for like a solid four days. Good times.

Y/N: The band was freaking out by the time we came back to rehearsals on thursday. They thought we died or something.

Eddie: We thought they went on some kind of bender or disappeared into the horizon with Warren’s boat but no they arrived on thursday with these huge smiles and a new car.

Y/N: We extended the honeymoon after the band broke up. We went to Hawaii with Warren’s boat. I don’t think that was safe but we did it anyway.

Warren: Oh, the car. Did Eddie mention that? Yeah we put some of our money together and bought an Aston Martin. You know the James Bond car.

Y/N: We had some money left over from royalties and stuff so when we pooled it we had just enough to buy that car and start putting some more of it into retirement.

Warren: We still have that car. And we still live in that same house. And Y/N hasn’t made me sell the boat yet so we’re doing pretty good.

Interviewer: So how did the band react to you two getting married?

Y/N: Well, I told Eddie first. He obviously reacted as expected.

Eddie: I was happy for her but mad that she didn’t let me be at the wedding. Y/N made up for it though when she allowed me to officiate their vow renewal.

Graham: I found out a few weeks after the band broke up. I was obviously not doing well after all the Karen drama. But I went up to their house to see them and when I walked inside I saw the rings on their fingers and the rest is history. I got to be Warren’s best man at the vow renewal, I mean it was my entire genius that got them dating in the first place, it was the least they could do.

Karen: I knew when I met up with Y/N and Camila for drinks. She showed us the ring and honestly we were both very shocked.

Camila: I didn’t think she would go through with it but wow I couldn’t imagine a better match. When she asked us to be maids of honor for her wedding, I obviously accepted.

Daisy: I didn’t go to the vow renewal. Being around Billy was going to be a trigger and I knew that. But I still meet up with them a lot. Their kids love being around mine.

Billy: Yeah I was happy for them, sure. Camila told me after they went out for dinner I think.

Y/N and Warren Rojas live in that small house on the coast of LA with their three kids, Lily, Vivienne (Viv for short) and Javier. Y/N went on to be the bassist for many well-known artists like Kate Bush, Billy Idol and even worked with members of the Beatles. They are currently celebrating their 20 year anniversary, which was marked by a vow renewal a few months ago.

this is very much self indulgent - i will be writing a bunch of angst next so prepare yourselves.

taglist: @pinkdaiisies @yesshewrites1 @lisbeth122605

#daisy jones and the six #billy dunne #graham dunne #karen sirko #daisy jones #camila dunne #daisy x billy #warren rojas #warren rhodes #eddie roundtree #taylor jenkins reid #amazon prime #warren rojas imagine #warren rojas short story #daisy jones and the six imagine #djats fanfic #warren rojas x reader #warren rhodes x reader #djats #daisy jones and the six x reader

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

#mclennon #paul mccartney #john lennon #the beatles #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

[reythenerdypisces]

things that I overlooked in PJO the first time / small, funny things I noticed during my reread

Part 4: The Battle of the Labyrinth

it's been way way way too long, I'm sorry, but I'm back with part 4 and part 5 will be uploaded by Monday!!

Whenever I thought about her [Rachel] (and I'm not saying I thought about her; she just like crossed my mind from time to time, okay?), ... this is after meeting her once!

She bared her fangs. I was so paralysed I couldn't move but Rachel through a snare drum at the empousa's head. Rachel is a beast with inanimate objects

We'd [Percy & Annabeth] fought together so many times we knew each other's moves. We could do this, easy.

Annabeth's hand slipped into mine. Under different circumstances I would've been embarrassed, but here in the dark I was glad to know where she was. It was about the only thing I was sure of. CUTEST

"I wouldn't have paid any attention except... well, it was Luke." She [Juniper] blushed a little greener. Grover huffed. "Forget what I said about good taste."

I stepped away from Annabeth. "We were just looking at maps," I said stupidly. Malcolm stared at me. "Okay."

"Percy, the spider's getting away. Do you really want me to explain the exact details of how I was born?" "Umm...no. That's okay."

Annabeth glared at me like she was going to punch me. Then she did something that surprised me even more. [...] I probably would've sat there for the rest of the day, staring at the lava and trying to remember what my name was, but the sea demons jarred me back to reality.

"They sent you to me, my brave one, knowing that you would break my heart." "But... I'm just... I mean, I'm just me." Percy has everyone in love with him and he still asks 'me?'

For the rest of my life I would always be thinking about her [Calypso]. She would always be my biggest what if. must be weird now that she's back and with Leo

"He was probably the bravest friend I've ever had. He..." Then she saw me. Her face went blood red. "He's right there!" then cut to: "You are the single most annoying person I have ever met!" And she stormed out of the room. I stared at the doorway. I felt like hitting something. "So much for being the bravest friend she's ever had."

Without waiting for us to protest, he picked up Annabeth and me as easily as if we were kittens, slung us both on his back, and galloped off towards the Big House. picturing this is hilarious

I left him in his wheelchair, staring sadly into the fireplace. I wondered how many times he'd sat here, waiting for heroes that never came back. ouch

Annabeth laughed. It was the first time, I'd heard her laugh in a long time. It was nice to hear.

The number had washed off my hand a long time ago, but that was ok. Without meaning to, I'd memorised it. he memorised Rachel's number!

How could this be a temple for my dad? My dad was a nice guy. He'd never asked me for a Father's Day card much less somebody's skull.

Ethan sneered. "There's no right side. The gods never cared about us. Why shouldn't I-" "Sign up with an army that makes you fight to death for entertainment?" Annabeth said. "Gee, I wonder." I love annabeth so so much

"Ow!" He yelled. For a moment it was only Luke's voice, full of surprise and pain. :(

Paul scratched his beard. "I don't know if it's permission, so much, but she's your mother. And I know you're going through a lot. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't talk to you about it first, man to man." [...] I thought about Paul and my mom, how she smiled and laughed more whenever he was around, and how Paul had gone out of his way to get me into high school. I found myself saying, "I think that's a great idea, Paul. Go for it." Sally and Paul are so wholesome

"And you Percy, are my favourite son." He [Poseidon] smiled, and at that moment, just being with him in the kitchen with him was the best birthday present I ever got.

the last olympian is left! on Monday, I promise :) let me know if you want the series to continue into heroes of Olympus, I'm really enjoying my reread

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo disney+ #pjo series #the lightning thief #the battle of the labyrinth #rick riordan #perseus jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood

[bambi-kinos]

Sorry, long ask.

Do you think that Paul really remembers John? Like his John that he fell in love with because John's been dead for more years than he's been alive, they cut ties in the later twenties then like 10 years Paul had new memories and great success with Wings and a family and he didn't play Beatles songs then. But it was more than 40 years ago and Paul at least at some point has said that he doesn't remember the 60's + he seem quite unsure of John and his true feeling about each other, he quite often said like he asking himself if "we hated each other or if it was true" like he's needed to see "McLennon" videos and pictures of themselves to really see, yes it was real. So I'm asking this because I know Paul is a genius and almost super human but he is human and most people actually don't remembers things that long.. So what do you think? I must say I do hope he does.

How much do we remember the people we love after they've passed?

My grandfather died last year. Peacefully, he was surrounded by people who loved him. My memories of him are of taking care of him in his last days. Visiting him, talking to him, telling him we loved him. He was ready to go and we knew that. He was tired and wanted to go on to the next step. So those are my predominant memories of him. He was very worn out. It wasn't until I witnessed the decline that I realized what it means to be a "shadow of yourself."

He wasn't always like that. I knew him when he could get around on his own, before the damage from the polio came back. I knew him when he taught me chess. I knew him when he made popcorn for me and taught me how to tune a radio. I remember hugging him when I wasn't even up to his hip. But those memories are very faded. When my oldest sister lived at home, he came by our house and he hung up her ceiling fan in her bedroom. I remember walking in and seeing the new fan sitting on the floor but I don't remember him being there. My mom had to confirm that for me.

And I wonder, what other things did I do with my grandfather that I don't remember? What all did we do? Where did we go, what was it like? He took us to the ocean once but I only have photos. I don't remember it happening.

But I know he loved us. He was an excellent grandfather, he was so well suited to the part. He liked being with us, he taught us new things, he took care of us. He loved us, he was so proud of us whenever we did anything.

So if you don't remember someone or you rediscover memories you forgot....that doesn't mean you stop loving them. Memory is fallible but love is just as much an act as it is a feeling. Paul reviewing photos, seeing the remastered video, watching John dance his silly dances. It all came back to him. That John loved him, even if Paul doesn't remember every little thing. Paul can love John without needing to remember every little thing. He's made his entire career a monument to loving John.

Paul's uncertainty regarding John is in part a reaction to what everyone around him has been screaming at him for decades and because of John himself. He's been taunted and blamed and told repeatedly, for decades, that John hated him from the moment he saw him and that he was only useful to John as a business partner. John himself created and drove a great deal of this narrative. Hence his dismay that Paul took him seriously when John told him to stop coming around. "I didn't mean it like that." John had to put this out in a media interview because he was so scared of talking to Paul (because he understood his part in the whole thing) that he couldn't call on the phone and tell Paul that he was sorry. Paul wasn't lucky like me, he didn't have more good memories to overwrite the other good memories.

Paul is old and human memory is fallible. His last interactions with John were terrible. How does he square that with Yoko telling him "no, John really did love you" and interviewers saying "he missed you, it was so obvious." It was obvious to everyone but Paul who only get a hostile angry John who wanted hurt him.

But that's why the videos and photos matter. It will happen to all of us someday. That's why we need to take photos, take videos, everything. There needs be a record of love so we can remember love. That's why Paul released Eye of the Storm, so he can remember the time when John loved him. The stage interviews with Conan are an exercise in watching a man wrapping memories around himself like a blanket.

Paul does remember bits and pieces of the 1960s. He remembers writing "Mr. Kite" with John. He remembers tripping with John. It's the mundane stuff that he misses I bet. Age takes those memories away first, the little things.

Paul may only remember bits and pieces of the John he fell in love with, the John who took care of him and loved him back. But he has the photos. He has the videos. Even if he doesn't remember them exactly, he can look at them and he can know that John loved him once. He's holding on to that as tightly as he can.

And like Paul always says: he can feel John's presence. John is with him in one way or another. That in of itself must be very comforting.

#if you love someone #tell them now #don't wait #don't leave your business unfinished because you may not get the chance to do it over #don't leave your love to wither and die because your loved ones are the people who suffer most #mclennon #anonymous asks #talktalktalk

[nevereverywhere]

Paul McCartney Interview 1982

Q: "Let me ask you what everybody wants to know. How did you feel when you heard the news about John's murder?"

(at that precise moment my cassette auto-stopped)

PAUL: "You see, your cassette didn't even like the question. (laughs) Listen, John would be the first guy to laugh about that. How did I feel? I can't remember. I can't express it. I can't believe it. It was crazy. It was anger. It was fear. It was madness. It was the world coming to an end. And it was, 'Will it happen to me next?' I just felt everything. I still can't put into words. Shocking. And I ended up saying, 'It's a drag,' and that doesn't really sum it up."

Q: "Were you actually still close to him?"

PAUL: "Yes, yes. I suppose the story was that we were pretty close in the beginning when we were writing stuff together. We felt alot of sympathy for each other, although on a personal level, based on a lot of stuff that went down later, I obviously wasn't that close to him. To me, he was a fella, and you don't get that close to fellas. I felt very close to him, but from alot of what he said later, obviously, I was missing in the picture. But anyway, I felt very close to him then and when the Beatles started to feel the strain towards the last couple of years, it was getting to be a bit of a strain and we were drifting more apart. I think the kind of anchor that had held us together was still there. I think that we all, in a way, started to get really angry with each other, annoyed and frustrated, but we were still very keen on each other, loved each other, I suppose, because we had been mates together for so long. Like Ringo says, 'We were as three brothers.' It's that kind of a feeling. I mean, I didn't realize that, but Ringo would tell me later, 'You are like my brothers, you lot.' We all knew that there was some kind of deep regard for each other."

Q: "When the rift started, it was more like a divorce, like a love/hate relationship, coming apart. Is that true?"

PAUL: "Yes. It sounds weird when you use that analogy because then it takes on another meaning. But yes, it's true. What I mean is that there was that kind of deep feeling and deep heat. (laughs) Then we started arguing about the business and we just started to drift apart, as you say, like a kind of divorce. The bitchiness set in and everyone started going, 'Oh you say that, do you? Well, I'm really gonna let you know what I've been thinking all these years.' And we tended to go over a little bit over the top, I suppose. So it started to split apart. We got very estranged because John went to live in New York with Yoko and they were very much their own couple and there weren't many people that could get into that thing. I really think that was one of the best things that ever happened to him, for his personal happiness. It wasn't too easy for all of us, because he was sort of leaving us and going off on a new life and, whether you like it or not, we felt that each one of us had been each other's crutches for a long time. Then, with John moving away, there was a lot of bitchiness carrying on."

"I talked to Yoko the day after John was killed and the first thing she said was, 'John was really fond of you, you know.' It was almost as if she sensed that I was wondering whether he had... whether the relationship had snapped. I believe it was always there. I believe he really was fond of me, as she said. We were really the best of mates. It was really ace."

Ray Bonici for Canadian music magazine Music Express

the whole interview

#sometimes he talks about john as if they barely knew each other “I obviously wasn't close to him” #and then just goes on about how deep and loving it all was #it was the world coming to an end #you are like my brothers #the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #ringo starr #george harrison #paul mccartney interview #1982

[ilikethisacompletelynormalamount]

It feels like Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal are lifelong friends, even though they insist their bond formed while working together on All of Us Strangers, the new drama from Looking and Weekend filmmaker Andrew Haigh.

On a Friday afternoon in Los Angeles in November, the pair remain in their own world. A cacophony of publicists and camera operators swirl around them, in the thick of a string of media interviews, but Scott, 47, and Mescal, 27, sit calmly shoulder-to-shoulder in a press room having their own private, whispered conversation. It's difficult to make out, which only makes you want to know what they're saying that much more. And when you pry, they shrug it off.

Perhaps this was what Haigh was talking about when he said, during an awards-season Q&A for the American Film Institute, that the three of them went to a concert in London together and his actors "completely ignored" him most of the day. "We didn't!" Scott insists. "That's not true," Mescal adds, laughing. "That's a little bit of hyperbolic directorial license," Scott says. "We need to have a word with him." *

*(emphasis entirely mine, because, seriously Andrew Haigh, wtf was that interview)

It's no wonder the internet has fallen for the bond between these Irish gents, fawning over photos of Mescal attending Scott's birthday party at a club.* The pals say they only knew of each other "a little bit" prior to All of Us Strangers, but "not as well as we know each other now," Scott quips — alluding to the sex scenes they shot together for the movie. "We know everything. The whole kit and caboodle!" However, once people see the film — part romance, part ghost story — it's their emotional bond they forge on screen that stands out... and often leads to overt sobs from the audience.

*(a club that was definitely NOT in Spain, no matter what you may have read on Twitter, just so we're clear. It was also the wrap party for Vanya, which had just ended that evening in London, so unless he has super powers, Spain's not possible. Also, Andrew was surrounded by other friends and practically everyone involved in the play, not there with just Paul FFS. Sorry, sorry, carry on. )

...

Scott and Mescal joke how it was their Irish heritage that helped them understand what Haigh was going for. "The means to express is something that we as a culture are still processing," Mescal says. "I think that's why Irish actors, generally speaking, are good at playing the stuff beneath the surface. A good healthy dose of repression helps the ol' acting." The connection these actors forge through performance is palpable. It was a surprise even to them how affected the audience became when they attended their first public screening of All of Us Strangers in Los Angeles earlier in the week. "I was balling," Scott recalls. "We had to do a Q&A afterwards. I was really emotional."

...

"To play being in love or falling in love with someone, it's the best, completely wonderful thing to be able to do," Scott says. "We were starting to get to know each other [as people], as well. Beyond our preliminary friendship, it was like both of those experiences were coexisting."

This was a very good article, you should absolutely click through and read it all so that EW knows that we are interested in this film and these actors!

(Thank you for indulging my asides, I just had some things I needed to get off my chest 😆)

#andrew scott #paul mescal #all of us strangers #andrew haigh #entertainment weekly #jamie bell #claire foy #his beautiful smile #fucking spain *incoherent grumbling*

[pxperplxnets]

you’re amazing

could you do some more Paul Aron? love ya

summary: angelina exposes y/n and paul, leading to a very succesfull hang out.

pairing: paul aron x driver! reader

word count: 671

warnings: make outs/??

lowercase intended!

-----------------------------------------------

playing truth or dare with the boys was absolutely hilarious. a bunch of funny things had happened already when ollie asked her the next truth “if you had to kiss anyone in the team, who would you kiss and why?” he looked at her with raised eyebrows as he already knew the answer “paul, because have you seen paul?” she laughed, her cheeks going slightly red as she had just exposed herself to the whole internet “i mean, facts” ollie said, trying to diffuse the tension.

what y/n didn’t know is that later that day, paul would be asked the same question. “y/n, 100%” he answered immediately, making robert laugh loudly “you have to say why!” robert exclaimed “easy, I'm straight and she's hot” the estonian winked at the camera, as if he hadn't just admitted his crush on his teammate.

“she actually said you as well” angelina said behind the cameras “actually?” paul asked with raised eyebrows, smirking when the woman nodded “well, i guess we know what i doing after filming” robert choked on the water he was drinking as he started laughing.

later that day, paul went up to y/n as she walked next to ollie, grabbing her arm to turn her his way. “oh, hi” she smiled at him, sneaking a wide eyed glance towards ollie who laughed faintly at how obvious she was “hi, so, i was wondering if you want to hang out later? maybe at mine?” y/n could have sworn that her heart stopped “yeah, for sure…umh what time?” paul smiled, somehow relieved she said yes “is four good? i'll send you the address” “i'll be there” he gave her a smile before walking away, trying to hide his red face. she turned back to ollie -who had been there the entire time- before letting out a low squeal of happiness.

y/n stood in front of paul's door, taking a deep breath before knocking. the door opened immediately, as if he was standing in front of it waiting for her knock. “hey” he couldn't contain the smile that formed in his lips, not that he even tried to. “hey” she answered, shy smile on her lips.

approximately an hour later, they both sat on paul’s bed playing mario kart in silence. not an awkward silence, y/n was just insanely concentrated on winning the game -which wasn't necessarily hard as paul was too busy looking at her.

“y/n?” the boy asked, putting his control down and moving his body to face her “hm?” the girl hummed in response, not tearing her eyes away from the screen. “angelina told me what you said” he looked at her, slightly amused by how focused she was on winning “and what was that?” she was about to win, she couldn't stop now. “that you want to kiss me”

she stopped. “she told you?” he nodded “oh that traitor” she muttered to herself “sorry, i thought i had more time before the video came out” she didn't exactly know what she was apologising for “that's alright, i'm glad she told me” he had a small smile on his lips “really? and why is that?” the girl raised her eyebrow. “because i said you too” the amount of confidence he had was immense, and it bothered her. so she faked confidence too “is that why you invited me then?” her confident voice made him weak, but he wasn't going to give in. “maybe..” fuck. his voice made her go even closer to him “so what are you waiting for?” she whispered against his lips.

he didn't wait any second. he closed the gap in between them with a long awaited kiss. his hands went to the sides of her face, bringing her closer as they kissed. it wasn't soft and tender, it was sloppy and desperate. the amount of waiting they had both done was way past softness. they stayed like that for a while, kissing, playing mario kart, and then kissing some more.

------------------------------------------

authors note:

i wrote this a while ago and i thought why not post it.

its kinda shit

im really sorry for being so absent, im going to try to upload at least once a week now<3

#paul aron one shots #prema racing #prema #pxperplxnets #premaoneshots #freca #frecaoneshots #paul aron #paul auron x reader

[reflectismo]

When John Lennon was murdered 18 months ago all a distressed Paul McCartney could say was: "It's a drag."

For this seemingly cold response Macca was scorned by the Press, the fans and —perhaps most importantly — by Yoko.

"It was all I could say when I was asked for a quote right after he was killed," he says with a serious expression. "To me, looking back on it I was just stunned.

"I could have tried for a sentence and really tried to put it all into words. ‘It's a drag' in cold print looked awful. I hate all that because I don't ever mean it like it comes out in print.

"I was talking to Yoko recently and she said 'People don't like you because of certain things, like that quote you were asked to give when John was killed.' I explained to her why I said that and she was then really happy to hear that I didn't really mean it that way."

How did he really feel?

"I can't remember. I can't express it. I couldn't believe it. It was crazy. It was anger. It was fear. It was madness. It was the world coming to an end. And it was like will it happen to me next? I just felt everything.

"My response at the time was also not to do any live shows. I was terrified after John's death because it's a horror for such a thing to happen. I'm definitely not thinking statement-wise that I won't ever play live again. l do it when it grabs me. Sometimes I really miss performing though. I don't at the moment because of the work involved on the album. Then after the album I’m trying to do a film based on the album.

"From talking to Yoko I’ve learnt a lot of other things I never realized about John. Like that period when he really slagged me off. A lot of that he didn’t really mean. He was just taking the mickey out of me.

That was John, and that's what I liked him for. He cared less…actually, he probably cared a lot more. This is the strange thing I’m finding.

"Because of my image, well, you'd think I was the one who really manoeuvred everything — the perfectionist and so on. I’m finding out many things these days about John where he was more a perfectionist than I would ever be. He took all the papers and all the cuttings he was in, and got very much into it."

Paul’s relationship with John during the Beatles' more successful years was tighter than superglue. This obviously deteriorated.

"We were pretty close in the beginning," he confirmed. "But I think the anchor that had held us all together was still there. We were still very keen on each other, like loved each other I suppose in a way because we had been mates that long. To me he was a fella and you don't get that close with fellas. You get drunk with them and tell them something you wasn't gonna tell them. That's it.

"I think one of the best things that ever happened to John from his personal happiness point of view was that he and Yoko were very much their own couple. It wasn't too easy for all of us because he was sort of leaving us and going off on a new life. I talked to Yoko the day after he was killed and the first thing she said was 'John was really fond of you.' She had almost sensed that I was wondering whether the relationship had kind of snapped. I believe it was always there. He was very jealous and so was l and it was all stupidity on the surface. The last telephone conversation I ever had with him, we were still the best of mates."

— Paul McCartney interviewed by Ray Bonici for Record Mirror Magazine. (April 1982)

#Paul McCartney #John Lennon #Yoko Ono #The Beatles #Lennon/McCartney #Ray Bonici #(Watching his performance of Here Today at Glastonbury opened a can of worms for me) #(Here I am in thick of it) #(This interview is just so interesting) #(Honestly the confusion and doubt Paul had in the 80s wrt. his relationship with John is understandable) #(And I totally understand Yoko seeking clarification on Paul’s initial statement) #(Had a whole essay in my tags and then Tumblr glitched out and it’s gone.) #(Oh well – too lazy to write it out again!) #1982 #Quotes #Record Mirror

[heartlandians]

Christmas in August, part 5/5

Newlyweds Shane and Chloe have just added a new extension to the Bartlett-Fleming-Morris family, but when it seems like the couple won't be able to make it "home for the holidays", Tim comes up with an idea to make their first extended family Christmas happen.

Characters: Shane, Chloe, Tim, Miranda, Jack, Lisa, Amy, Lyndy, Lou, Katie, Nathan, Paul.

A/N: Sets around the time of the season 17 finale.

Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays!

****

Suddenly, it was as if Miranda remembered how to breathe as she let out a long sigh. Tim looked at her funny. Shane on the other hand was confused.

The emotions were all over the place.

"Oh, thank god, you're here", Miranda said, feeling relieved and mentally exhausted for trying to keep this secret from Shane, "I couldn't come up with another lie."

Shane kept glancing back at them, going from Tim to Miranda and then back to Tim again. "What the heck's going on?"

Clearly this had something to do with their little scheming, but what exactly was the plan, Shane wondered.

"Come. Have a look who I have here with me", Tim said, gesturing Shane to join him.

Shane put the brush aside, not knowing whether he should be angry at his parents or not, but at least he had to see who Tim had with him before he could fully make up his mind.

They went to the trailer, and Tim opened the back of it. Miranda trailed Shane, looking guilty, but also somewhat hopeful that this had all been worth it.

It didn't take Tim long to unload the horse that was inside, and Shane immediately recognized him.

"Pal...?" he said with disbelief. "But... I thought he was no longer around..." Shane continued, walking closer to his old horse and giving Tim a confused look.

"Well, he is still mine on paper, but a buddy of mine is leasing him for ranching purposes. Pal's great at cattle work, so I always thought it was best for him to do what he's great at. He may no longer be at Heartland, but... he's still around", Tim shared, looking at his son admiring the horse that had made him a cowboy.

"I can't believe this..." Shane mumbled, shaking his head.

Chloe would love this...

"And if your visits here will be more frequent now, maybe he'll be around a lot more", Tim added, hoping that Shane would be able to pick up his hint of him wanting his son around more.

Shane gently caressed the horse's cheeks and it looked like the horse was curious about him, but didn't necessarily recognize him right away.

"So... wait -- mom knew...?" Shane rewound everything, checking the facts in order to finally solve this case.

"Yeah, she was in on it", Tim confirmed. "I mean, I wanted to make your last day here special and when I heard you mention Pal's name yesterday, I just knew I had to go and get him for our last trail ride."

Shane was at a loss of words.

He felt so many emotions all at once; frustration and happiness were the ones on top for him right now, but he chose to focus on this grand gesture and the gratefulness it brought with it.

It really made it clear Tim was listening to what he was saying.

"It's not that I'm not happy to see Pal, but..." Shane began after a while, "I just thought something else was going on. And I already got so mad at mom and--"

"Oh, it's fine - I'm used to it", Miranda said, smiling and waving her hand. "I'm just glad you were able to reunite with Pal again."

Shane didn't like the way she said it. He didn't like that his mom was "used to it". Used to it coming from him?

Was there room for improvement...?

"So... should we get ready for the trail ride before it gets dark?" Tim asked. "Maybe your mom and Paul should join too?" he suggested.

"Oh, I don't know", Miranda shook her head. "Paul's never ridden a horse and it's been a while since my last ride too. So, you three just go, we'll catch up with you later."

Tim nodded. He didn't want to to exclude Miranda - or Paul - from this family event, seeing they were family. And besides, these days they got along just fine.

"Okay, if you're sure", Tim checked.

"Yeah. Oh, and..." she remembered and dug out keys from her summer dress's pocket. "Here are your car keys. I'm sorry, I just... I had to keep you here as per your dad's request."

"I'm sorry too", Shane had to say. "I feel bad for getting so upset."

"Well, you only reacted accordingly to whatever thing I was trying to spin at you", Miranda assured, smiling a little bit. "I don't take it personally."

Shane now knew that Miranda had been lying in order to keep Tim's surprise, but there were still some things he wasn't sure had been lies.

But maybe time for that conversation was not now.

"I love you", Shane said and came to give Miranda a hug.

Miranda was surprised by the reaction, after everything that had happened, but embraced it quickly. It wasn't often something like this happened.

To Tim's eyes, he didn't really see anything strange going on between them, as he had missed out what had happened while he had been gone, so he was just happy to see his son and Miranda hugging like this.

"I love you too", Miranda said, giving Shane's cheek a quick peck. "Now, off you go."

There was some type of melancholy tone in her voice.

Even though Miranda was talking about the trail ride, her explanation earlier about having hard time letting him go in order for Shane to be an adult was still lingering at the back of his mind and it made him think maybe the words had a double meaning.

"Come on, Pal", Shane said then, taking the lead from Tim. "I have someone I'd like you to meet..."

****

The next couple of hours were spent exploring the 600 acres of land that Jack Bartlett owned. Tim made sure to keep the pace steady for Chloe's sake as she was still new to riding.

Even though the scenery was the biggest hit for both Chloe and Shane, the moments of meetings with the wildlife during the ride was exotic for them too. All the animals kept their distance, thankfully, so the newlyweds didn't have to go through another dramatic event on top of everything else they had already endured.

"As much as I love all this, we should probably head back to the cabins and start packing", Shane said when it was starting to get late.

Tim, leading the ride with one of the Dude Ranch horses, glanced over his shoulder.

"Of course", he said. "There's just one more thing I want to show you."

They rode along the trail and for Shane, it was starting to look like they were heading to the wrong direction, further away from the cabins.

"Dad, are we sure we have time for this?" Shane checked.

"We're almost there", Tim assured him.

When they rode pass the trees, they suddenly found themselves out of the woods. It took Chloe a second to recognize the place because she had never seen it from this direction.

"Wait, we're at Heartland...?" she checked from Shane, wondering if that had been intentional.

Shane - who was the last rider - knew that for sure, but didn't understand what they were doing here. "Dad...?"

Tim said nothing, but steered them to the front of the house.

As they were turning the last corner, they could all hear an ominous, slowed down version of some Christmas song. It added a creepy layer to the confusion both Chloe and Shane were feeling.

It took them a while to realize there was an inflated snowman next to the porch and the music was coming from inside of him. The snowman looked like he had seen better days as Chloe spotted some tape on his side, like he had had a tear and someone had tried to nurse him back to health.

"Didn't realize it was Halloween just yet..." Chloe chuckled a little.

The snowman seemed so out of place with no snow around.

"Dad, what's going on?" Shane repeated his inquire.

It seemed like getting Pal wasn't the only thing Tim had planned for them.

When the old cowboy unmounted his horse, he looked at the couple. Because Tim seemed calm, Shane wanted to let down his guard too.

"Come on, let's get inside", Tim said, doing something with his horse's girth that Chloe wasn't able to see. "I have something else to show you."

Chloe looked at Shane, wanting to follow his cue. When he got down from the saddle, she looked around.

"What do we do with the horses?" Chloe asked, then getting down too. "Do we just leave them... here...?"

"I guess", Shane figured, since Tim was doing it now too. "Here, I'll show you", he said, then demonstrating Chloe how to tie the horses to the pole of the fence in front of the house safely.

Tim waited them at the gate and when they approached him, he then lead them inside. He didn't say anything, but looked mischievous.

The evening had just started to get dim enough for them to see that inside there was a cozy looking light. When Tim opened the screen door for them, Shane and Chloe were met with familiar smells, but somehow - just like the snowman standing by the porch - they seemed... out of place as well.

They didn't seem like they belonged to August.

Stepping inside the ranch house, with a guarded feeling, Shane went in first with Chloe coming behind him. As Tim stepped in and made the mudroom space smaller, it urged Shane to step in further.

As soon as he walked pass the frame of the mudroom and entered the kitchen, Shane saw twinkling lights in the living room and the whole family gathered together in festive clothes.

Katie was even wearing a playful reindeer antlers on her head that you could usually see on children during Christmas.

The place looked like something out of a Hallmark movie. There were holiday decorations everywhere, candles were lit in the middle of the dinner table and then... there was even a Christmas tree in the corner.

"What---" was all Shane could let out before the whole family welcomed them in in unison.

"Merry Christmas!"

Chloe stepped behind Shane and looked around. She gasped a little. "Oh my gosh... What is this?!"

Tim walked next to them, looking pleased with himself. "Well, you said you couldn't make it here for Christmas and so... we decided to celebrate Christmas now", he explained, shrugging a little bit, like it was not surprising or even a big of a deal.

Jessica walked over, shaking her head when she saw Shane and Chloe's faces. "This was all Tim's idea. We just helped."

Shane laughed, completely taken by this surprise as he walked closer and looked around. "You made all this happen in a day...?" he couldn't believe it.

"Hey, you saw that we could pull together a pretty nice wedding, why are you so surprised we couldn't pull together a Christmas celebration too?" Lou asked, acting hurt, but was actually just pleased how they had all been able to make these two events happen for Shane, hopefully proving him that they wanted to keep the momentum going.

"This is amazing!" Chloe said, pressing her hands against the lower part of her face. Her eyes were glistening with tears. "And so beautiful!" she sighed.

When she finally was able to look at something else besides the decorations and the tree, she noticed Miranda and Paul had joined the family too.

Chloe nudged Shane and after she had been able to get his attention, she nodded toward her new in-laws.

Shane was just blown away by all this effort and how everyone had been able to keep it a secret. It was all starting to make sense to him again - why Miranda had wanted to keep him away from Heartland.

Even though he didn't like secrets, maybe he could forgive this to his mom and dad - just this once.

****

After dinner, the whole family was sat around in the living room and even Lyndy was feeling well enough so she could join them for the part where Jessica was handing the newlyweds their Christmas gift.

"I hope you like it", she said as she gave Shane and Chloe the present. "I couldn't find any appropriate wrapping, but... hopefully you don't mind", Jessica commented the plain looking exterior.

"Not at all", Chloe assured. "Let's see..."

The couple was sat on the couch, and Chloe handed Shane her drink so she could open the present. Carefully, she discovered a photo album under the wrapping.

"Oh my, look at this", she sighed adoringly and slid her hand across the leathery surface.

Everyone looked at her and the gift curiously as she flipped open the first page.

"Oh, look it's our names and the wedding date", Chloe showed Shane. "You have beautiful handwriting, Jessica", she glanced at her quickly.

"Aw, thank you", Jessica said, smiling from under Tim's arm as they were standing around the living room. "You're so kind."

Chloe then proceeded to flip open another page, presenting a picture from the preparation for the wedding with Lou and Amy helping with her hair and dress.

"Oh, wow", Shane commented immediately.

"Oh my gosh", Chloe sighed. "This is beautiful..."

Everyone looked proudly at Jessica as she had been able to wow the bride with her picture.

"It's so nice to see this moment too as I wasn't there for that", Shane commented, after looking at the pictures with curiosity and admiration. He loved seeing her sisters help her wife out during such a pivotal moment.

It almost made him choke up, in fact. To think the journey they had had and how his family had all embraced this woman he loved so much.

Flipping over pages, Chloe presented Shane new pictures, starting from moments leading up the wedding, then to the ceremony and some were even from the after party.

With each moment captured, they could really appreciate all the effort that had gone over to arranging their wedding and the love their now-united families shared with one another.

"This is truly amazing, Jessica", Shane said when they closed the last page. "We'll cherish it forever", he promised.

It made Jessica happy as she had not really known how to find her place in this new setting, but at least she had been able to help them capture one of the happiest days of their lives.

Jessica pressed a hand over her heart, gesturing she would cherish Shane's comment in return.

"And all of this..." Shane then said, looking around the room as people were standing around or sitting down. "I just..." he began, but then felt a lump in his throat while the tears started forming in his eyes.

"Oh, honey..." Chloe said, gently caressing his husband's back.

"Sorry, I just..." Shane said, clearing his throat, "coming back here hasn't been easy. There were good memories, but also some bad that I had to face. And while it has been the perfect setting for our wedding, and you've all been so welcoming, it has taken me time to really believe that things have changed and we have all changed."

Lou glanced at Amy who was holding Lyndy on her lap and they changed a meaningful look. While their relationship with their brother was still budding in a new way, they were now completely committed to keeping in touch and really maintaining that relationship.

Shane's speech continued.

"And we will continue to change even from now on. But... while that was scary in the past and it's almost been something that has torn us apart... Change is also needed for us to grow into something even better. And while Chloe and I are off to have this new adventure together", he continued, then looking at his wife lovingly, "I will never, ever be that far from you anymore, because this time together has truly shown me that... dreams do come true."

Lisa glanced at Jack next to her, pursing her lips together in the form of an emotional smile. Jack smiled back and kissed his wife's temple softly.

"I mean, I was this lonely kid back in the day. I dreamed about having this cool dad", Shane chuckled a little bit and then directed his eyes at Tim who looked back at him, "and while we had a rocky start, yesterday I had him by my side as my best man. And he's actually way cooler than I could have ever imagined."

Tim smiled, moved by his son's words.

He would have never thought they would be here now, like this.

"And not only have I gotten to know my dad, but I have sisters too", Shane continued, now looking at Amy and Lou. "And that's been something I never knew I wanted, but... after getting to know you two, I feel privileged to get to call you my sisters, because you're both amazing people and I've learned so much from both of you."

"We love you", Lou whispered, blowing him a kiss across the room.

Amy nodded along, agreeing.

"And then... there was more", Shane went on, looking around. "Jack. Lisa. Jessica. Katie. Lyndy. You're my family too. It's just been more than I ever could have wished. And I just feel so lucky to be able to call you my family, but also introduce you to Chloe, my wife."

Chloe looked back at him, and they shared a quick kiss in front of the family. The room was filled with cooing.

"But... none of this would have been possible if it wasn't for my mom", Shane said, then looking at Miranda, not wanting to forget her. "For the longest time, it was just the two of us", he echoed the words Miranda had said earlier.

He still wasn't sure if his mom had pulled that up from thin air in order to buy more time before Tim's arrival, but something told him that that had actually been honest.

For once, Miranda had had no tells.

Miranda looked surprised by this type of attention, but listened attentively.

"I understand now that it probably wasn't very easy for her most of the time, and I may never come to understand everything or the choices she's had to make, but I know one thing; my mom has always loved me. And she will always love me. It doesn't matter where I go; whether I run off to Heartland", he said, making some of the family members laugh at that memory, "or go off to study law. Or maybe start a family of my own."

Wiping the corners of her eyes, Miranda listened. Paul gave her a gentle squeeze from the side.

"So I'm really thankful for everything - and everyone. Without you guys, I wouldn't be here", Shane said, looking around again. "And I have to say that I will remember this Christmas for the rest of my life. Not only because it happened in August, but also because for the first time in my life I have my whole family here, together. Couldn't be any better than that."

"I'll cheers to that!" Jack said, raising his glass.

"Cheers!" everyone joined him and raised their glasses.

****

The next morning, Tim was helping Shane and Chloe get their car packed. It was time for them to say goodbye - for now.

"I still can't believe you went and found Pal", Shane said when they got the last of the suitcases inside the trunk.

"Of course. I wanted this Christmas to be special", Tim said, closing the trunk when Shane had moved out of the way.

"Well, it definitely was", Shane assured with a grin. "And hey, just because we spent this year's Christmas here, the plans for next year are still on, right...?"

Tim smiled, as he loved to hear that. "Absolutely. I know New York's great during Christmas, but you really gotta experience true Heartland Christmas to really know what you're actually missing out."

Shane laughed. "I mean, I already got a taste yesterday, so I can't wait to see what the actual thing will be then..."

Tim pulled Shane into a hug from his neck and squeezed him tightly.

"Have a good time in Banff - and in China. I'm gonna miss you, kiddo."

"I will", Shane said. "I'll miss you too, dad."

They lingered a little bit longer, then getting interrupted by Chloe closing the cabin door behind her and walking at the porch toward them.

"All locked up now", she said, then coming to hand Tim the key.

"Thanks", Tim said, taking it and spreading his arms, signaling to Chloe he was going in for a hug.

"Thanks... dad", Chloe said, then feeling Tim twitch. She leaned back and looked at him. "Can I call you "dad"...?"

"Uh..." Tim grimaced as he had never been a fan of that coming from Ty - but then again, maybe it was time to give it a new try. After all, he was a more improved version of Tim now. "Sure. If that's what you want."

"Okay", Chloe said, smiling. "I'll text my parents that we're on our way to Banff", she then let Shane know.

Miranda and Paul walked over to say their goodbyes to the couple too, and Tim watched as they embraced before going off to separate ways.

He never would have guessed that back in the day, this very spot where Miranda had dumped him, he would be watching all of this happen, feeling happy about the way things had turned out to be.

It might be August, Tim thought, but this really feels like a Christmas miracle.

#heartland #fanfiction #christmas in august

[starry-eyed-never-satisfied]

Fanfic Writer Ask Game: 😅 🤡 🛒 🍦🤗🧠🤲✅🤯 sorry if this is a lot lol

No worries I love asks and talking about my writing, so the more the merrier!

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

The only one I really feel weird about is Tonight I Wanna See It In Your Eyes. Just cause it's so short and doesn't go into enough detail on what I was trying to portray. I did it for writers month and tried to write it in a day, which I can't do. I love the idea though and I fully intend to expand it more one day.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Driving On Down The Road and reason why Butt Fuck Nowhere is called that, and the whole of 100.000 Years, it's just so silly, but I really can picture them having that whole interaction.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Always angst, I can't help it. Paul's sensitivity and vulnerability, Gene's tough but caring.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Hold Me. No smut, just Paul in a dark place and Gene not knowing how to help, but still being there for him.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Don't feel like you need to start from the beginning. Write whatever it is that has inspired you, whether it be a scene or phrase. If you get to a bit where you want a particular thing to happen but don't know how to write it just type insert smut here or insert fight here or whatever and go on to the next bit. After you've written the stuff you're confident with it's much easier to fill in the gaps.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Here's a bittersweet head cannon about Paul and Ace for you. Neither of them will admit it, but they were close, and after Peter left they became closer. Paul didn't want Ace to leave and tried to keep him happy, even drinking with him on occasion. But he didn't want to get blackout drunk like Ace did, so it wasn't very successful. The pictures from The Elder/Creatures period, where they are holding onto each other - that's Paul silently saying don't go. But it was inevitable. And everything they have said since then comes from a place of hurt.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Because you liked Let Me Know so much, this is a follow up to it, called Far From The House And The Family Fights in which teenage Paul has a fight with his parents and runs away to Gene.

“We received a letter from school today, Stanley.”

Stanley.  That meant he was in trouble.  Even so, Paul rolled his eyes and headed towards his room.

“You are not going anywhere, young man!”

Stanley and young man.  He was in a shitload of trouble!

 “You are going to stay here and explain yourself!  You are on the verge of failing.  You haven’t done any homework and have been missing classes.  You’ve been drawing . . . penises in your schoolbooks.  And you told your teacher you didn’t need school because you are going to be a . . . rock star?”

Oops.  He hadn’t mentioned that particular ambition to his parents yet.

“What happened to you?” asked his father.  “You had so much potential.”

“God gave you this wonderful brain and you’re not using it,” said his mother.

Paul had heard this so many times before, and this time he lost it.

“Did he give me this stupid fucking ear too?  Because I’ll happily trade my brain for a real one!”

“Stanley Eisen!  Mind your language!”

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Angst! Even when I try to write something happy or funny the angst creeps in. I don't want Paul to be unhappy all the time.

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Fight scenes. Arguments I can do, but when it comes to the physical stuff I struggle. While I believe these guys probably did get into punch ups occasionally, I can't really visualise them, I've only seen fights on tv and we know how realistic those are lol

#thanks for the ask!

[sunsetstarrogue]

i came across "like rain, I fall" and it love(d) it so much. I adore what Denis did to Chani's character and I love how Zendaya brought her to life. I also kind of wonder what was even the purpose of the first Leto II since he dies, and its just like 'sad...okay...'

Chani is so much more interesting to explore, especially your Chani as you write her because she's grappling with mourning someone that is still alive and trying to protect her son from just everything, enemies, his birthright, even his grandmother. I love how Chani really does not fu*k with Jessica, it makes sense they are so different that part of Chani thinking about Jessica trying to control Paul in the womb just blew me away, it's so poignant. I think the really crazy part is that Chani leaving and hiding from Paul inadvertenly saved her child, as Irulan in the books was feeding Chani contraceptives so her rejecting that 'game of thrones' esque role as concubine is what leads her to give birth to Abiel (love the name by the way). Chani is very straightforward and honest, the name makes sense and I'd think in their talks and just moments of intimacy, she'd kind of know Paul would want to name his son after his beloved father but she cant for obvious reasons. I think the name is also Chani grappling with just how much she loves Paul and how much she misses him (even when she says she doesn't) and just her lonliness. She can't really bask in anything regarding her pregnancy, hence why she's just winging it depsite her culture's norms. because it means confronting the fact that she lost the love of her life. Which also makes me wonder where exactly you're taking this, is it going to go towards a reconcilliation? A permanent break or like a grey one, no absolution just a gritty bliss.

In the book Paul's visions kinda stop when Chani is pregnant, her birth is early and catches him off guard, so like he knew Chani was going to die but he couldn't see the twins coming so it's like he can and can't see much and considering how he's trying to give Chani her space I'm wondering if he even knows she's pregnant. Also like him tracking her down to see her with a baby and her just kindof running and peacing out on the back of a sandworm with Abiel tied to her is kind of funny to picture, i'd think she do it in a petty way to piss off not just Paul but all the atriedes, like I got the vibe she realllllly didnt fu*k gurney because he really represented that colonizer perspective, viewing the Fremen as tools rather then beings, something a lot of the other powerplays probably thing as well. That being said there's only so many places you can run away in Dune and when your Most Wanted #1 and you have nuts like Stilgar after you...

I'm so interested in the niche trope of tragic romance, where you partner becomes a villian and (oddly) you die (Padme and Anakin, Snow and Lucy Gray and now Chani and Paul). I think it's so underutilized and just the heartbreak, angst and complexity would be so fun to write. Also Chani is still alive and has so much difficulty ahead of her, I can't wait to see where you take this but also like whenever you want to update no pressure. thank you for adding to thia dry tag, it's rough out here :')

thank you for taking the time to write for this fandom, it's so appreciated xxxx

So glad you found my fic. I'm so happy that your enjoying it so far. Chani has quickly become one of my favorites characters in Dune. I didn't really pay much attention to her in the books but Zendaya and Denis Villeneuve did such a wonderful job with her character that I couldn't help but fall in love with her.

Lady Jessica is actually my favorite character in Dune (books and movie) and so I really wanted to portray her in a way that is satisfactory to me while also having her character add to Chani (since this is HER story)

I am still undecided on how exactly I want to end the fic but I definitely don't think I'll make them reconcile (or go back to how they were before Paul did what he did)

And as for updates, I am very busy at the moment so it will take me some time to finish the next chapter. Spoiler alert: we'll be seeing Jessica and our favorite weird child 😌

Thank you so much for sending this ask. It really does make my day.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.4

Oh, John. It's hard because I'm like “fame was not good for that man” but I'm also like “he would've gone crazy with self-loathing if he didn't have the fame.”

John and Paul start to answer a question at the same time. John: no, go on, you can say it. They're seriously so married. 

John's schoolboy flirting is cute, but what's more noteworthy to me is a) how happy Paul is to be shoved and b) how he instantly leans back into John. It's like they're bungeed together or something. 

John gets me. Look how much he loves Paul bringing out the forced confidence shield to protect him. He's so in love. So turned on. 

Here's my question about the death threats. Did the other Beatles actually receive them and tell Brian about them and keep them from John? Because that would be incredibly sweet and noble of them, but also, in that case, surely John received death threats too. Meaning he just didn't care about his own life and assumed the others were being left out of it because they hadn't actually said they were bigger than Jesus. Or did they have people filtering all their mail by that point? And Brian had been keeping the death threats from all of them? Because that could be interpreted as both protective and selfish of him. Does anyone know?

Again. I just love how Paul goes to bat for John over and over during this tour. Batting his eyes and playing with his hair and shouting down any and all criticism of John speaking his mind.

This moment is so telling to me. An interviewer who was up front at several concerts points out the looks and smiles between John and Paul which you can only see from the front and asks, “is it really that much fun every time?” The easy answer is, “Yeah. We like what we do. It's fun!” But Paul gets cagey. “Oh well the thing is you know with things like that it's probably…” and he makes up a bullshit story about messing up on a song they haven't performed in a year. Why do that if you don't have something to hide? (Even if you're subconsciously hiding) That right there is a tip-off for me that they're not normal about each other. 

Interviewer: are you guys breaking up? John, immediately and emphatically: No. Paul: "Depends what you mean by breaking up, you know . . . Because we can't go on forever like this, so we've got to think now and prepare for, you know, if it did happen. The time has come for us to break up, but we've realized the possibility . . . Of breaking up as a natural progression." Literally shut the fuck up right now, you're going to give John an aneurysm.

I understand. I know. I don't relate to Paul much but I do relate to his hyperactivity and his avoidant attachment. I make sure constantly that I'll be okay when all my relationships end. But you don't talk about that in front of the other person. Especially someone like John whose worst fear is being left. Come on. Think. 

See, now look what you did, Paul. Here's John's answer the next time they're asked about breaking up. 

And yeah, the klan being the ones to “stand up against the Beatles blasphemy” really proves my point from the last post I think. It's just masked racism. 

It actually seems like Paul's more vocally political at this point in time than John is. I wonder what happened to change that? Was it just the influence of their respective wives? Was it just easier for them to play up the roles they'd been assigned for the most part?

Okay on this round of “are you breaking up” they look at each other first before they answer and then Paul goes “all together probably.” I wonder if they talked about their previous answers together and admitted – however cautiously or however veiled – that hearing the other say they might leave hadn't been fun. Who knows, honestly.  

Paul and John often talk about making a radio show together apparently. Gosh if only they could've done that now. I'd make them my token white boy podcast. It'd be great. They'd be so lame and so adorable and they'd talk about recipes and politics and they'd gossip and rank other people's music. But anyway, what really gets me is the often bit. So they really did plan their post-beatle future together. Enough that it was a frequent topic of discussion between them. They planned to be together forever. 

Ugh it always guts me that Paul brought a girlfriend to Paris with him to meet up with John.

Okay my tin hat is glued to my head for this but. But. Hear me out alright? So John starts filming on 09/19/66. He's there for 6 &½ weeks. Putting the end at the beginning of November, right when Paul goes in disguise and alone to Paris. Do we have tabs on John for those dates? John just talked about going around Paris in disguise. What if  they met up by themselves and in secret? What then?

 No fucking wonder John was exhausted with him. Damn. He takes a month and a half to write strawberry fields, shows it to Paul, then...

Interviewer: the songwriting team will keep going whatever happens will it? John: yeah, we'll probably carry on writing music Forever. It's just so ‘Obviously. Might as well ask me if the sun's going to come up tomorrow.’

His friend – try dangerous drugs with and take home to daddy type “friend” – just died brutally and suddenly two days ago, and this is what he looks like and talks like and he's going in to work like it's nothing. I just. Compare that to John talking about Brian's death? Obviously two very different relationships but still… Paul's upbringing really fucked him up so hard. He thinks he's not allowed to be human. What can I say? It's a drag.

AKA the happiest 6 months of John and Paul's lives. 

I find it fascinating that Paul alone is asked to compose and record what would eventually become the carnival of light and that he just went ahead and included everyone in that. Really makes me wonder if he got a vibe off John that him doing the family way alone was hurtful or if they maybe even talked about it? Or maybe he just didn't like doing the family way without John.

Actually quite a lovely, forward-thinking, humble speech. Imagine being John, though. Watching that from home like “why the fuck is he philosophizing to the world without me?” Because you know John shares all those sentiments and might even have got there first. It would be infuriating.

“A lucky man who made the grade” is an interesting way to describe Tara and I can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with Tara being cool enough for Paul to associate with him. And Paul is many things but stupid is not one of them. He's going to at the very least wonder if this verse is about John laughing at his friend's death. Right? Like I know Paul's the repression CEO but seriously I don't think even he is that good. 

Maybe that Leopold and Leob quote isn't just about tearing people down verbally. Maybe Wooler genuinely got a vibe of a sense of superiority and therefore lack of empathy with Lennon/McCartney.

I mean he really does sound like he's describing sex though, doesn't he? Emotional, loving, romantic sex. Followed immediately by Paul's “I'd love to turn you on” lyrics and the “down with pants” and “sword swallower” pins. Alrighty then. 

What I would call my Beatles bio after watching this. "They Touched Dicks: The Only Logical Conclusion."

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

[zilabee]

A meme about my fic, believe me when I tell you. This is one of those question lists for ask memes, but I don't believe in that, I am just answering the questions I have an answer to and I've combined a couple of memes into one to get rid of the questions I don't understand.

1: What inspired you to write this fic?

It was a kink meme prompt, so that prompted me. And it's a lovely thing anyway, the idea of John finding lyrics with his name in, but the prompter specifically said that they have a 'heart to heart' and I was immediately enamoured at how ridiculously hilarious it would be trying to have a heart to heart with Paul McCartney about what his song might actually mean. Reading The Lyrics I had spent a lot of time trying to work out Paul's head, and wondering how much he actually believes that the long and winding road is about a road, you know, and what he really means by that, what level he's on with anything he says, so I wanted to write a fic looking at that anyway.

2: What’s your favourite line of dialogue?

"You kissed me." "I know." "But you're not..." Paul says. "I mean we're not..." "I think we might be, Paul."

3: What’s your favourite line of narration?

"Paul kisses him and then kisses him again, and it's such a relief. It's the first thing that's made sense all day. It's the first thing that's made sense for years."

4: What scene (or line) did you first put down? Did you plan it out, or write as you go?

As ever, I wrote the first bit first! Dull but true. And I wrote it as I went, which is always how I write, even if there are going to be chapters which there weren't with this one. I have the vaguest idea of the shape/length of the thing when I start, and then I just write a bit and see what comes next. Saying that, it's a terrible way to write, I tie myself in knots and have to do a lot of rearranging, and I'm not saying it's best, it's just the only way I can do it. I suppose it's like I wrote it by writing down EVERYTHING they might say to each other, and then carving out the bits that made sense.

5: Was it easy or hard to write? Which part was most difficult?

It was okay. I kept hitting dead ends trying to make the conversation flow even a little bit from one thing to another, so there was a lot of moving it about, but it didn't feel difficult until I got to the bit after the kiss. That stalled me for ages because I didn't know how much they really needed to say or if it felt rushed. I still think it does feel a little bit rushed, but also I don't care. I kind of sided with Paul that as soon as they'd kissed it was more important for them to fuck than to actually dig into anything about how they felt or what they wanted or how it was going to work or what any of it meant. Mostly because I think the moment they talk about what they want it's all going to be very difficult again and I didn't want to be involved.

6. How did you choose the POV to write from?

I knew this one would be from Paul's POV because I wanted to get inside the way he thinks about lyrics and songs and try to feel it out as a thing he's genuinely feeling, not something he's aware is defensive, not something where he actually deep down knows that putting John's name in his song means something and just doesn't want to say so, but where he genuinely feels it's perfectly normal and John's being weird about it. (Although then with a slight sense of nervousness when he first sees the lyrics, as if there's something deeper inside him that knows it needs to be hidden?)

I thought about slipping between that and John's POV to really get across how used to Paul's strange thought patterns he was, and how he had to puzzle it all together, but in the end I found it more interesting to try and have Paul show how John was responding and hoping it was clear what John was actually feeling compared to what Paul thought he was thinking.

7. Did you always know how it would end?

I knew it was going to be happy and together, because that's always my aim. And then quite early on the bit of dialogue with John promising to tell Paul which of his own songs are about Paul, came to me and I love the idea of Paul's insides collapsing like a house of cards at the very idea of it, so I worked towards that.

8: Where did the title come from?

The song! I love having a musical fandom, where you just write about a specific song and it makes titling a breeze. (Saying that I'm not sure the title suits.) (But then, saying that, I don't care. The title exists, and that's all I look for in a title.)

9: Were there any particular lines or scenes which you had to cut despite wanting to keep them?

Not as much in this fic as in longer fics with more than one scene in them, but there was this bit, which isn't much on its own, but I quite liked when it was in place because it created a very definite shift in tension and they were both suddenly right there in their skin:

"Is that what's happening?" John asks, his voice low, a rasp in his throat. "Are we losing the whole thing?" "I think so," Paul says lightly, and he wants to say more, but his throat closes up.

10: What do you like best about this fic?

I like it when Paul just says something totally open and honest without noticing it and John quietly looks at him. Like when Paul's all 'I put your name into all my songs, it doesn't MEAN anything' and John has to just stare for a bit. I like that Paul feels like he has won that point and that John must realise he was being silly. I love Paul. I love that he's stupid.

11: What do you like least about this fic?

I find their voices very hard, so writing a fic of total dialogue was not a good look for me. And I feel like I concentrated a lot on the 'begging you to stay' aspect of oh!darling and maybe some of the 'I'll never let you down/do you any harm' bits would have also been quite interesting to John.

12: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I have absolutely no musical associations with this one. I didn't even listen to the song itself.

13: What happens after the end of this fic?

Obviously very lovely things happen in the immediate aftermath. And I do think that being able to touch and kiss and fuck John would suddenly push Paul into boyfriend mode, and he is more capable of being loving in that mode, it gives him permission to be softer, and I think it might blow John's mind and they might be good for each other, I don't know.

I also feel firmly that one morning in a couple of weeks, Paul will mention that he dreamed about kissing John, and casually say that usually when he has that dream they're at the studio, but this time they were at home. And John will stare at him with exasperated fondness and quietly ask him how often he dreams about kissing him, and if he ever thought about what that might mean, and Paul will wrinkle his nose because he dreams about kissing John all the time, and obviously it doesn't MEAN anything, because dreams aren't real.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

NO.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

NOTHING.

#believe me when I tell you #fic thoughts

[denimbex1986]

SHAPIRO: The new movie "All Of Us Strangers" is a love story where something feels slightly unreal. Adam and Harry, played by Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, appear to be the only two people living in a high-rise building in London. And what are the chances? Both of them are gay, single, attractive, kind and wounded. You can't help but wonder, is this a metaphor or some kind of fairy tale?

ANDREW HAIGH: I always saw it as allegory, as fable, as a trip through his subconscious, whatever it might be. But at the same time, I still wanted it to feel grounded in some reality.

SHAPIRO: Andrew Haigh is the film's writer and director. He has told stories about queer joy before - the movie "Weekend," the TV show "Looking" - but "All Of Us Strangers" is a different kind of story.

HAIGH: I think it was always a film about someone trying to escape loneliness rather than be - wanting to stay within it. And I think all of our decisions sort of came around, like, what does it feel like to be alone? And then what does it feel like to be intimate again with someone? What does it feel like to connect?

SHAPIRO: It's also a very personal story. Andrew Haigh told me he filmed the scenes where Adam reconnects with his parents in the house where the director spent his own childhood.

HAIGH: It was just another example of wanting to somehow just feel really deeply connected to the material. And if this was a story about someone going back into his past, it felt like I had to go back into mine at the same time. So it was a strange environment to be shooting in - you know, scenes in my old parents' bedroom or scenes in my bedroom, you know, kind of recreating how that used to feel.

SHAPIRO: Did anyone on set ever say, why are we doing this in the home that your parents used to live in?

HAIGH: (Laughter) They would basically be like, are you insane? Like, why would you do this? Why would you put this - put yourself through this? And occasionally, people would come up to me and be like, are you OK? This must be very strange for you. You know, like the scene between him and his dad when they sort of come to terms with some things. That's, you know, in my old front room. But it was - you know, it was cathartic, if I'm honest. Like, it was cathartic. I think as you get older - I'm 50 now, so the idea of going backwards to see where the rest of your life should be is quite interesting.

SHAPIRO: I mean, if you don't mind my asking, were you OK? What was it like for you?

HAIGH: I didn't have a particularly happy childhood, no. I mean, I certainly wasn't a happy kid. My parents split up when I was young, and I was coming to terms with my sexuality. And, you know, this is the '80s. It's not the best time to come to terms with your sexuality back then. So, yeah, I was a troubled kid, let's say.

SHAPIRO: And so the experience of revisiting these incredibly intimate scenes in the room that you, as a child, were in, I mean, what did that feel like?

HAIGH: Yeah, it was just - it was powerful, I guess. And I think, you know, the film is so much about, like, the pain that we keep buried. Like, and that can be from big or small trauma. That can be from loss and from grief, but it can be from something a father might have said to his son when he was young, or something a mother might have said, or something they heard on the television. Whatever it might be, there's so many things that can cause trauma in us as we go through our lives. And I think it is about, like, staring them in the face sometimes and, like, trying to excavate that pain in order to sort of find some liberation. And so being back in my house was - sort of helped that. It really did. It kind of - it's like I couldn't escape it.

SHAPIRO: One theme that comes up in the film is something that I think all gay men of a certain age have in common. You, Andrew Scott, the actor, and I are all within five years of each other in age. And growing up gay in the '80s and '90s, for the most part, meant being told that you would likely be lonely, bullied, ostracized and probably die of AIDS before your parents were old enough to retire. This is something that Andrew Scott's character tells his younger boyfriend, where Adam says, for a long time he wasn't into sex. Andrew Haigh, what kind of legacy did it leave for you to survive to see the other side of that?

HAIGH: Look, I think it's so - because the world has moved on so much, let's say, and things are very, very different. It's easy to forget how we actually used to feel in that time. I mean, I was terrified for 15, 20 years, you know what I mean? And growing into my sexuality in the shadow of AIDS and in the shadow of really intense homophobia, I genuinely thought that my life would not be possible, that I would never find love. And if I did find love or I found anybody, I would probably die. And I think that's a horrendous thing for a generation of people to carry around with them. And I think it's important to remember that that is how we felt because it doesn't go away. It's still there, embedded within us. And I think for a younger generation, they may think on that with slight surprise that that's what we had to kind of go through and feel. But I think it had a huge legacy on a whole generation of gay men especially, and they are still dealing with it every day. They're still trying to kind of get rid of the shame that they felt and the terror that they felt growing up in that time.

SHAPIRO: Did you and Andrew Scott talk about how growing up in that stew affected each of you differently, and how it affected his character, Adam?

HAIGH: We definitely talked about it. I think the great thing about when you sit down with someone that's also gay and of a certain generation, you barely need to say anything because you understand that you have a very shared experience. It doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter if you're in America or if you're in the U.K. You have that shared experience of growing up at that time. So of course we talked about it, and we did talk about how it still affects us now in small ways that you don't quite realize, how that kind of shame can suddenly bubble up again or that fear can suddenly bubble up again, even though you think you've got past it and moved on. And so for Adam, it was such a fascinating thing because he's going back to meet his parents, but he's also going back to meet himself in a certain time. So he's being reminded of so many things that have been buried within him.

SHAPIRO: So you describe the process of making this film as cathartic, and I'm curious if you can tell us more about what was the before and what was the after? Like, what have you left behind and where are you now, if that's the right way to characterize it?

HAIGH: Yeah. I think what I wanted the film to be was compassionate to everybody. So I wanted it to be compassionate to people who have gone through an experience of, say, growing up gay and saying, listen, I understand what that feels like. This is my version of that story. But I also wanted it to be compassionate towards parenting and how difficult that can be and how you are a product of your time. And you learn and you change and you grow. And I think in a strange sense, I've managed to sort of forgive a little bit - forgive myself for being angry and unhappy at times, forgive my parents for not saying the right things always. And so I feel like that's been quite cathartic to me. And also, I suppose, understanding on a deeper level kind of even what I think about love and what I think love is about, and how I think it's about being there for someone else almost more than it is them being there for you. And I think the film has really helped me understand the connection between parental love and romantic love and how so closely entwined they are.

SHAPIRO: Andrew Haigh directed the new movie "All Of Us Strangers." Thank you so much for talking with us about it.

HAIGH: Thank you. Thank you very much.'

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