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#so i'm waiting until i can afford to
fuckingguide · 2 years
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They ain’t even looking at you, baby, they looking at me | Guillermo de la Cruz + Looking At Me by Sabrina Carpenter
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there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.
#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what!#wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do#is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better#to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off#tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer#disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!!#but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything#and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me#and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me#so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again#I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again#I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly#what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do??#just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky?#bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen???#ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it#etc etc#I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted.#and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part#these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer.#but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.
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andromeda3116 · 10 months
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i know that the "adulting sucks" thing has been overdone to the point of obnoxious, but seriously
seriously
adulting fucking sucks
#running the numbers on my budget and calculating how much i can afford per month on things#bc i will likely need a new car soon and i need to figure out what kind of budget i have for it and what my options are#and i get a bill from a doctor's visit in fucking november for almost $150 after insurance payout and my copay and like.#hey i was told on my insurance shit that i would only have a $50 copay! and i had met my deductible!#it legitimately looks like they waited until it rolled over to charge my insurance specifically so i would no longer have met it#like the visit was in november. why did you wait until mid-april to payout?#my insurance rolled over at the beginning of april. huh. what a fucking coincidence.#idk who to call about this but this stinks of bullshit#i should not be owing that money. period. and there is absolutely no excuse for sending me the bill for it eight months later.#and i need to clean my apartment. and i need to feed myself at some point.#and i need to cancel att and set up the comcast internet that's recently been folded into rent as an amenity#i have already gone through and canceled all the subscriptions i don't use#so check that box off#and like. i don't want a roommate and i really am not looking for a relationship with anyone.#but doing all this shit on my own and having to pay every bill on my own and having to do all the cooking and cleaning on my own is just.#exhausting#i am so so tired#and i'm looking at things and i intend to go through online school for a communications degree which will be reimbursed through my job#and there may be a lead position opening up soon which everyone seems to be pushing me towards which would be a title change#and significant raise at the cost of added stress#and i feel like butter spread over too much bread#i need to work anti-burnout measures into my schedule and budget now to get the structure i'll need#but i am already so tired#but i need the raise and i need the degree to gtfo of this career
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queenerdloser · 13 days
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i'm going to see an apartment i really really like on wednesday (it is SO BIG! right in the neighborhood i like best! outside building is beautiful, on a tree-lined street, hardwood floors, so many windows!!) but i like. am trying to keep myself from getting too attached ahead of time bc it's just like a littleeee too expensive and i really should be realistic and get something about 100-200 dollars cheaper. but i love it soooo much, i want it so bad lmao.
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waitineedaname · 1 year
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I am going to tear my hair out
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solvicrafts · 7 months
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As an update to my shop post:
My Valas and Kimmuriel plushies are delayed at the moment. I didn't have enough material to make their outfits and accessories, and I want to give them a much more distinct and quality look, so I am going to wait to release them until I'm satisfied with their final designs.
That said, some of the plushies I release over the next few weeks (and probably even a few from tomorrow's opening!) might resemble them depending on different interpretations/headcanons, so anyone who wants one sooner is absolutely welcome to buy one of the premades and reach out to reserve their special outfits when I have them available -- I'll even waive the shipping fees and give you guys a discount :3
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killbaned · 10 months
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i had to wash the cast iron frying pan so that i have somewhere to put the crock pot so that i can wash it so that when i get more stew beef, hopefully tomorrow, i can get more stew going and
i was soooooo brave about it
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camelliagwerm · 10 months
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Time to fully blacklist BG3 I guess.
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flaskoflethe · 1 year
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... I just discovered a retailer that sells the one aesthetic , fashion-wise, I've always wanted to get into. AND at (comparatively) affordable prices, AND ethically made. Genuinely checks every box.
And I can't reasonably splurge, because I want to wait to buy a new wardrobe until after surgeries :(
This isn't technically a problem, except I'm REALLY fucking impatient xD
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reinelefey · 8 months
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Sitting on a café porch at 5:30 am, smoking a bowl before walking the rest of the way to work...
Effervescent.
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thegempage · 9 months
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love being on my period for the first time in *vague hand waves* months (big /sarc) bcus i get to do shit like
feel gross the whole time
smell of blood nausea (different than regular nausea) (it's also worse and the smell does not go away)
start panicking at 2 a.m. for no reason
god fucking dammit i want to curl up into a hole and not move until this is over i'm not even cramping i just feel uneasy and weird
and it's like cool! this is just life for the next week huh. i get to be like this the whole time. oh my store manager is out and the district manager is going to come visit while i have a borrowed manager working with me and i'll be on the verge of collapse the whole time? delightful. wasn't like i had plans that hinged on me having energy this week or anything
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genderqueerdykes · 2 months
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physically disabled schizophrenic homeless trans person about to lose hotel room
hello, i know i have other posts out right now, but i'm in a very terrifying situation right now and i am scared shitless. it is sunday, 2/25/2024. i got a call back from the government waitlist apartment that i've been approved for, and need to Uber over to their office tomorrow morning to sign paperwork to get moved in later this week. they said the absolute earliest they can move me into my unit is tuesday. my hotel stay runs out on tomorrow, monday morning at 11 am and i am currently waiting on my deposits from my art business to hit my account- they take several days to process, and aren't coming in fast enough. the rest of the money i had on my person went to paying for my hotel up until now and my storage unit bill.
i hate to make another post while i have others circulating, but if i do not get at least monday night paid for before 11 am on 2/26, i will be completely without housing right before i'm able to move into my new place. i don't have anywhere else to stay right now and i can't afford any setbacks with this apartment, as i've been working with them since october. i need to be able to afford my current hotel until they are able to move me in, and uber to and from the complex.
my hotel is currently $38/night:
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please note these are the only payment gateways that will get to me fast enough so i can book more nights in my hotel & afford an uber to and from my new apartment:
cash App: $glitterGraphix venmo: @ Equinoxian pay pal: glittergraphicnightmare@ gmail.com
thank you to everyone who has already helped- your contributions will be able to go toward getting us moved into our new place, buying necessities like appliances, transportation and more. thank you for all of your help. again, sorry for making another post but we are literally down to the wire and i'm anxious as all hell.
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libraryofgage · 2 months
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Been watching sooooo much say yes to the dress so.....
Steve and Robin are consultants and co-designers at Kleinsfeld. Robin especially loves designing and Steve really loves that moment brides find The Dress because they light up and he helped make that happen and it just makes him smile
Enter Eddie Munson, rockstar and definitely not in a relationship but at Kleinsfeld to find a dress he can wear for an upcoming music video that's a little corpse bride vibes re revenge and murder (dead bride raised by necromancer and given opportunity to get revenge on her killer ex)
Eddie shows up with the guys and Steve/Robin are their consultants (they can't be separated bad things happen like Robin knocking over a rack of dresses bc Steve isn't there to pull her back in time) and when Steve (knows who Eddie is, doesn't care that much, they get celebrities all the time) asks who the bride is neither blink at Eddie raising his hand with a shit eating grin
They just go right into the design/style/budget questions and Eddie is almost disappointed he didn't get to cause more of a scene lmao
Anyway Steve is the one helping in the dressing room and he's getting Eddie into this big dramatic ballgown when Eddie asks why he's a consultant
Steve inadvertently just rambles about helping brides and making them feel the center of attention and cared for and special during their appointments. He also talks about designing affordable but fashionable dresses with Robin since he has experience with high fashion and general design and she knows best about keeping costs down without making things ugly
Obviously Eddie Munson is immediately heart eyes listening to this guy describe all of this while expertly lacing a ballgown corset and getting clips in place so it fits right and before he knows it Steve is leading him to where Robin and the band are waiting
The guys are immediately all giving Looks (derogatory) but can't describe what's wrong until Robin looks at Eddie and asks if he's adverse to negative feedback
Eddie is like "???? No, I guess???"
And is just even more confused when Robin goes, "No. Really, think about it."
So when he says it's fine Robin pushes Steve forward and tells him to let loose. Eddie is surprised cuz Steve is so sweet? How could he possibly be mean? And then Steve just holds nothing back like "the color washes you out, that beading makes your chest look uneven, the ballgown is actually a horrible silhouette on you because you just look uncomfortable having so much dress hanging off you"
And he says it all with this little popped out hip and slightly pursed mouth and raised eyebrow and it's so so bitchy and Eddie is fucking in love okay, he's gone, he needs to make fun of other people with Steve immediately
But also he's a gremlin so he's like "can a guy even look good in a wedding dress tho, like, does it matter?"
And Robin immediately jumps in like "of course it does you plebian especially if you want the music video to be any good"
This leads to Eddie and the guys not believing them so Robin and Steve share A Look and they do love proving people wrong so they're both like "bet" and tell Eddie to wait there
Cue them grabbing a sample dress (click to see what I'm thinking literally this is such a pretty dress holy shit) from their collection, putting Steve in it, and then showing it off
Eddie is dead. Immediately. Steve's arms? His legs? His chest? His confident little smirk as he spins in front of them?? 4 braincells dead and 28 injured in Eddie’s head
Anyway he literally ends up on his knees begging Steve to be in the music video, Steve agrees cuz he thinks Eddie is hot and funny, and CC fans lose their shit over the bride and his dress in the music video, especially when he and Eddie kiss at the end after the revenge murdering
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maritimecorpse · 1 year
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it's intermission right now but sorted live was definitely worth the money
there are actual tears in my eyes from laughing
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ladsofsorrow24 · 1 year
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i'll wait until part 2 chainsaw man ends before i buy the tankobon
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dr3c0mix · 3 months
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Yoooo, what are you waiting for it's gangussy time 😡😡 😡😡😡😡
(This is a joke please please please take care of yourself first for the love of whoever is up there don't overwork yourself 🙏 )
Utmost Loyalty
Yan!Gang x GN Reader
no warnings that i know of, theyre just really really stupid
🐉 The grocery you usually go to was closed early for the day, poor you had to walk the 2 miles to the nearest store in order to buy the stuff you needed for the week.
🐉 Living alone was hard work. You worked an exhausting 9 to 5 job that barely provided for your tiny apartment and pet (and your endless merch of your favorite franchise)
🐉 You were already tired from working today, and now you have to walk an extra 2 miles to get groceries you may or may not be able to afford because you never went to said grocery store before??
🐉 The grocery was in a pretty sketchy part of the city, with the smell of car exhaust and cigarettes lingering everywhere that you had to cover your nose to evade the scent.
🐉 You quickly went in the store and breathed in deeply, thankfully the store didn't smell so bad.
🐉 Besides than you, there were only 2 other people, the store owner and someone in a black suit eating some instant noodles.
🐉 You went to work trying to find all the stuff you need on your list. Coffee, fruits and veggies, snacks, and maybe some chocolate as a treat for yourself~
🐉 You pay for your things, unfortunately unable to afford the chocolates, and leave the store.
🐉 aaaaand now its raining...
🐉 You rush to the nearest cover, trying to cover the paper bag full of your groceries before hearing labored breathing from the alley you passed.
🐉 You stop and look back to see a man hunched over, his back to the wall as he winced at a wound he had on his torso that stained his white buttoned up shirt. He looked to have come from a fight..
🐉 You gasp, almost dropping your groceries. His golden eyes dart over to you and glare at your meek form.
🐉 "What're you lookin at?" he growls.
🐉 "You're..bleeding- You're bleeding!!" You start to panic.
🐉 "Yeah no shit I'm bleeding! What the fuck do you want?!"
🐉 You scramble away from the man in the alley frightened and freaked out. Out of instinct, you return to the store and ask where the first aid items are.
🐉 Kagiri sighed, trying his best to hold on while waiting for his gang to arrive and help him out. He just had to be strong. He can get through this. He can do it! He doesn't need anyone!
🐉 "Sorry! I'm back!"
🐉 goddamnit..
🐉 He grumbles at your presence but then realizes you have two bags and not one like you had recently. You put down your groceries and take a few stuff out of the other bag. Band-Aids..gauze..sanitizer..what's going on??
🐉 "What are you doing?" He asks in a threatening voice.
🐉 You don't say anything, you focus on trying to patch up his wounds, asking him a few things once in a while like "can you lift your arm please?" or "unbutton your shirt a bit.."
🐉 And he let you..for some reason...
🐉 He went from growling to staring silently at you while you worked on bandaging his wounds, like a feral dog being pet for the first time.
🐉 Now he managed to get a good look at you. You were quite cute, and it looked like you just got off work from the attire you were wearing. Your hands were so soft compared to his calloused ones, and your eyes..one look from you and even the toughest mafia boss will melt from how comforting they are..
🐉 And before he knows it, you've finished and were apologizing profusely to him for butting in on his situation, he was gonna say something else but you ran off.
🐉 You finally arrive back at your apartment, your pet cat rubbing against you as you lock your door. You smile and pick her up about to ramble about the hectic day you had until you realize..
🐉 You picked up your cat..
🐉 Your hands were free prior..
🐉 YOU LEFT YOUR GROCERIES!!
🐉 Silence fills the room before you let out a pitiful sob. Scolding yourself for forgetting your groceries with that mysterious guy, all that money and fresh food wasted! Your cat tries to lick your face to calm you down.
🐉 You pace around the room trying to figure out what to do now until a knock on your door is heard.
🐉 You open the door but there was no one there, but you see two men hastily and quite loudly scramble their way down the stairs giggling like middle schoolers. Did two grown men really ding dong ditch you??
🐉 You sigh and go to close the door, but your cat meows and trots outside and you look down to see her paw at a bag full of groceries..what?!
🐉 All your groceries were there, plus some extra cans of food, wrapped onigiri..your chocolates? and it wasn't in a dull paper bag anymore, it was in a black tote bag with a gold insignia of a sea serpent.
🐉 You didn't dare question it, considering the looks of the man who helped you and the part of town you were in, he was likely part of some gang and wanted to thank you.
🐉 But it didn't stop there...
🐉 You felt like you were being watched every time you were outside..no, it wasn't a feeling, THEY WERE LITERALLY RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN WATCHING YOU.
🐉 It didn't take a genius to spot them. You started noticing newcomers to the places you frequented. Like in a cafe that was fairly quiet and cozy, there were about 5 men dressed in blazers with some kind of flashy undershirt and gelled up hair at the very back of the establishment.
🐉 They didn't do a good job trying to hide the fact they were watching you with a newspaper.
🐉 It freaked you out, but you tried your best to ignore them.
🐉 But it was hard to do that when they started talking to you..
🐉 "Excuse me, you dropped your wallet.." you turn around and almost stumble over the tall intimidating man right behind you meekly handing you back your wallet.
🐉 You take it back with a shaky hand and waddle away trying not to look back.
🐉 If you did, you'd see the big burly man absolutely blushing and squealing as a few other men giddily walk up to him, showing a video of the encounter you just had from across the street.
🐉 There was also the time you caught them staring dreamily at you when they saw that you started using the tote bag with the serpect symbol as your office bag, it was a pretty nice bag and you didn't want it to just lie around your house..
🐉 And that one co-worker who's kind of a creep? Never messed with you again. You caught a glimpse of them shivering over the symbol on your bag.
🐉 Not to mention boxes of groceries that show up at your door all wrapped up in a red bow, they still haven't learned to be more silent when dropping those off..
🐉 After a bit you start to recognize some of them from their haircuts or the jewelry they always have on them. It made you more curious as to what their deal was.
🐉 So you decided to search up online with the insignia on the tote bag as your first clue.
🐉 You find out that its the symbol for a local gang that dealt with all kinds of stuff, robbery, misconduct, public damage..mostly public damage..
🐉 You manage to find a photo of all of them, you recognize the man in the center. It was the guy you saw in the alley way..
🐉 Connecting all the dots, you somehow got the protection of a gang because you patched up their wounded boss..great..
🐉 The next day you spot a few of the gang members again but instead of ignoring them, you give them a small wave before heading off the work. They were left stunned with a story to tell the others that'll make them squeal like little girls.
🐉 They started becoming less and less distant from you.
🐉 From watching you across the street to making small talk about the prices of fruits at the store.
🐉 One by one the gang gets a special moment with you, they were small mundane moments, but they treasured them like a core memory.
🐉 Word finally got to the boss that you've been very close with them lately, and he decides it's time to confront you.
🐉 As usual, a knock is heard at your door, and you see them clumsily run away, leaving a box of groceries behind..you should probably tell them you have a doorbell.
🐉 But it wasn't a box of groceries, it was full of heart shaped chocolates, sweet pink sweets and about 3 stuffed bears, topped up with a bouquet of flowers, as well as a note. You bring the box in and read small card.
🐉 Dear Mx. L/N, please go to this address tomorrow at 6pm. Don't be late. Please.
🐉 You can see words like 'We love you' and 'Have a nice evening' and 'we cant wait' messily scribbled out.
🐉 You arrive at the location at the designated time and look around.
🐉 The place they wrote in was a fancy looking restaurant that looked like the only thing you could afford was the water..
🐉 You're escorted to a table in a private room. You can hear the muffled noises of men giggling and talking before you enter and they all quiet down. It was quite intimidating to see them all in the same room, but the scariest part was seeing the boss; Kagiri, sitting in the center.
🐉 A little Siamese cat with big yellow eyes mewls at you and you pet it. It jumps up to you and purrs on your lap. Around his neck is a red collar with a gold nametag with the serpent symbol engraved on it, and on the back read 'Unagi'. You hear the men awe softly at the sight of the boss' cat getting along with their darling idol
🐉 Kagiri stands up and smiles at you warmly and by warmly I mean he looks terrifying
🐉 "It's nice to see you again. I never got to formally thank you for what you done to me." he lifts up his shirt a bit to reveal his healed wound which faded into a scar.
🐉 You nervously say you're welcome and shake his hand, you can't help but notice him shiver over your touch.
🐉 He invites you to sit down and eat and you spend the night having dinner and talking with the gang.
🐉 They try their best to impress you, sitting up straight, puffing out their chests, deepening their voices..
🐉 It almost seems like they were competing for your attention.
🐉 Once dinner was over, Kagiri speaks up "Now, about our meeting, we've been meaning to ask you something." he says gently.
🐉 The large man walks over to you and takes your hand and kneeling..what whats happening..
🐉 "Y/N L/N..will you be our new boss?" He asks passionately.
🐉 The gang cheers, pleading for you to say yes, it was like being confessed to by 7 grown men
🐉 "So? What will you say?" Kagiri asks, with eyes sparkling with hope and adoration.
🐉 The gang was kicked out of the establishment for making too loud and causing a disturbance..
🐉 Maybe you shouldn't have said yes..
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its done guys, this is probably the most fun ive had writing a fic!! also there may be bonus content about the individual gang members if you guys are up for that ;3
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