#so i'm writing a novel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

undressrehearsal · 3 months

Text

dare to be stupid

summary: a drunken game of truth or dare overtakes your study session

tags: NSFW, tlou au, college!ellie/reader, mentions of drugs, alcohol, drunk sex, oral (r receiving)

a/n: listen idk how this turned into 7.5k. idk what happened. also this is my first time writing smut. idk if the sex is good but it was already so long. if y'all like this one i'll write a sequel or something idk

part 2

“Truth or dare?”

It had become a tradition for the two of you shortly after moving in together. It was common for the air in your tiny apartment to grow heavy, the stress and anxiety tangible in the air - often around midterms or finals, or if your roommate had a particularly infuriating project. During these times when the bags under your eyes grew too heavy to carry or the lines around your roommate's mouth deepened into canyons, one of you would barge into the other's bedroom - frequently in disarray with notes and textbooks strewn across every surface - slam a bottle of vodka down on the desk, and utter those stupid, little three words, and the game would begin.

And so you didn't even jump when you heard your bedroom door slam against the wall, heavy boots against the carpet. You had been bent over your desk for so long that your neck ached, your eyes swimming with letters that didn't quite make sense and didn't fit into any of the medical terms laid out on your flashcards. When Ellie slammed the bottle of vodka on your desk, you blinked your eyes clear and looked up to meet her eyes.

She smirked when she said, “Truth or dare?”

You didn't waste time in clearing off your desk, shoving your books and cards aside into a toppling pile. Ellie, without waiting for permission, set a shot glass down in front of you, kicked off her boots, and plopped back onto your bed.

Scooting your chair closer, you propped your feet up against the mattress, pursed your lips, and said, “Truth.”

Ellie groaned, flopping over onto her side and propping her chin in her hand. She had stripped off her jacket, leaving her in a dark t-shirt that almost made her skin look pale in the low light from your desk lamp. “You're such a fucking pussy.”

You rolled your eyes even as a grin pulled at your lips. “I've known you for too long, Els, and I know that I need a few shots before I'm willing to shove anything anywhere for your amusement. So, respectfully, eat my ass.”

“You'll have to dare me to,” she quipped back immediately. She wrinkled her nose as you choked back a laugh, tapping a finger against her lips. You tried to ignore how endlessly cute it was as she said, “Where's the weirdest place you've pissed?”

Another sound burst from your lips, some mixture of a laugh and a shout. You gaped at her, watching as a laugh crept up, a smile tugging at her lips.

Shaking your head, you said, “Weird, but that's a pretty tame one. Not gonna ask me about my favorite sex position or if I ever snuck drugs into our dorm room last year?”

Ellie only shrugged. “Gotta warm you up a bit first, babe.” You ignored the way your heart jumped at such an innocent word. After a moment's pause, she added, “But have you?”

“You'll just have to ask me. One truth per round, bitch.” You pretended to think about it for a moment, though you already had your answer. “Okay, so you remember when we first signed the lease here and we were a bit short on rent?”

Ellie nodded, her brows furrowed in confusion.

“Like, a week before it was due, some girl on Tinder hit me up. She was passing through town and only staying for the night, and she was bored. So, she paid me.”

Ellie's frown deepened. “To, what, have sex with her?”

Laughter bubbled up your chest as you said, “No, she paid me to piss in her mouth.”

There was silence for several long moments. Ellie’s jaw hung loose, her eyes wide as she simply stared at you. Several emotions flashed across her face like a movie reel - confusion, shock, disbelief - before finally landing on pure, unfiltered amusement. The corners of her lips quirked up, her open mouth turning up at the corners until a loud, sharp laugh burst from her throat. When Ellie laughed - really, truly laughed - she did it with her chest, a sound so fathomless and full it filled up whatever room she was in.

In your small bedroom, her laughter bounced off the walls, echoing in the alley outside of your open window. You couldn’t contain your own giggles, muffling your laughter with a hand over your mouth, snorting as Ellie buried her face in your mattress.

When she finally looked up, her eyes filled with tears, she only said, around her subdued giggles, “How much?”

You grinned. “$200.”

Ellie’s mouth fell open again - you’d have to pick it up from the floor at this rate. “Dude, you’re fucking with me.”

“I swear,” you said, holding up your hand like a scout. “I’ll show you the Venmo if you don’t believe me.”

Ellie fell back against the bed, throwing her head back. “You have to go find this chick on Missed Connections, she can help with the rent.”

You threw one of your pens at her. Catching it in midair, she stuck the end in her mouth to chew on it. You wrinkled your nose at her, but she only grinned, the pen hanging from the corner of her lips.

“You're so gross,” you said, though you were still giggling.

“Bold words from you, Piss Girl. That's, like, the worst superhero name in existence.”

You threw your hands up, trying your hardest to glare at her and failing miserably. “Hey, $200 is $200. I'm not one to kinkshame.” Ellie threw the pen back at you. You grimaced when it hit your arm, leaving a small spot of spit on your sleeve before clattering to the floor. “God, it's your turn. Truth or dare, bitch?”

Propping herself up on her elbows, Ellie said, “Dare.” A grin pulled at her lips, her voice low as she added, “Because I'm not a fucking pussy.” You stuck your tongue out at her, ignoring her when she mockingly said, “Mature.”

Your desk was pressed up next to the only window in the room, cracked open to let the cool autumn air in. Your curtains fluttered in the breeze, the dying sunlight creeping in, casting light like liquid gold over Ellie’s skin. As you thought, scrambling to think of a suitable dare, you could not control how your eyes grazed over her exposed skin, the sunlight dipping in her collarbones like pools of ichor.

Blinking, you met her eyes once more, your throat tight. Your words came out almost choked when you said, “Okay, I dare you to make a spicy two-sentence story about something in this room.”

Ellie scoffed, sitting up and kicking her legs over the side of your bed. “I’m gonna take a wild guess that your drawer of sex toys is off limits?”

You sputtered, stammering over your own tongue as you felt heat rush to your ears. “Yes, that’s off limits. You don’t even know what’s in there!”

Ellie hummed, standing up from the bed and taking a few steps around the room. She didn’t look at you, but you could hear that fucking smirk when she said, “That’s what you think, babe.”

You watched her, tracking her movements as she slowly stepped around your room, scanning for inspiration. Your bedroom was about what you’d expect from a broke, overworked college student - aside from the furniture that came with the place, it was pretty barren. Ellie scanned the little touches you did have - her finger traced over the Funko Pop of Zuko on your bedside table, her eyes lingering on the pile of fantasy books you kept atop your dresser. She smiled at the posters hung crookedly on your walls, depictions of your favorite video games. She hummed again, looking back at you over her shoulder.

“So many options to choose from,” she murmured, running her finger along your jewelry box. She had her face turned away, so you could only see the corner of her smirk as she lifted the lid, pulling one of your necklaces from its home. You watched her warily as she approached you, the chain dangling from her slim fingers. She stepped behind you, out of your line of sight, and slipped the necklace over your head, the cold metal resting against your collarbone.

“She looped the chain around her lover’s neck like a collar,” Ellie said. You felt her cool fingers against the back of your neck, hooking around the chain and pulling it gently against your throat. You coughed against the awkward silence; your roommate had always been a little handsy, but this was something else entirely. What the fuck is she doing? you thought. “She pulled it taut against her throat and leaned in to whisper,” you felt Ellie’s lips against your ear, her rough voice sending a chill up your spine when she murmured, “good girl.”

Reaching back, you shoved Ellie’s head away; her laughter echoed through the room as she rounded in front of you, sitting back against your bed and grinning.

“Oh, you’re so fucking proud of yourself aren’t you?” you teased, trying - and failing - to keep your cheeks from turning red. Your skin felt aflame, a tingle lingering right where Ellie’s lips had pressed to your ear. You rubbed at the spot under the pretense of scratching your head, willing the feeling to go away.

Your heart was pounding so hard you could hardly hear her when she said, “Hell yeah, I am. I should’ve been an English major. I could write a whole fucking slutty novel and get famous. I'm an expert - I've done enough research.”

You rolled your eyes at her cocky smile, but Ellie only winked at you.

This is how your truth or dare games went - with Ellie being far too cocky, prancing around doing whatever dares you could think of and asking any outrageous questions that popped into her pretty little head; and you, simply trying your damnedest to keep up with her. You flailed, flustered, when she asked you about your toy collection, and begrudgingly relented when she dared you to bring out your favorite. Ellie took a shot before you had even finished daring her to text her last hookup (“I’m not reopening that bag of crazy,” she said, scrunching her nose at the taste.) You took a shot when she dared you to go mix all of the liquids in the fridge (which included pickle juice, old broths, and orange juice) into one amalgamation and chug it (“I’d rather chug the rest of the vodka, Els.”)

“Truth,” you said before Ellie could even ask the question. You were three shots in and could feel that lightness pressing against your temples, just at the threshold of tipsy. You had moved to join Ellie on your bed, where you sat with your back against the headboard and Ellie’s head on your thigh. The vodka bottle was balanced precariously between you.

Ellie rolled her eyes, but looked up at you and asked, “Out of our friend group, who have you fantasized about the most?”

She had not even finished her sentence before you served yourself a shot, a few drops splattering on your shirt. Wincing at the taste, you looked back down at Ellie; her eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree, her jaw slack.

“Don’t-”

“You have to,” she interrupted you, pinching your thigh and grinning when you squirmed away. “You have to tell me. You can’t leave me hanging here - you didn’t even let me finish the question!”

“Why did you even assume I’ve fantasized about any of our friends-”

“Because I know you.” She was scrambling up now, unsteady in her movements as she came to her knees in front of you, leaning back against her heels. She planted a firm hand on your thigh - your skin was still warm where her head had been - leaning into it, her eyes drawing so close you could almost see every speck within the hazel. “And I know that bitches like us always have somebody in the group they fantasize about. So, who is it?”

“Bitches like us?” you repeated, raising your brow. You were sure each line of her palm was going to be branded into your thigh. “So, there’s somebody you think about too?”

Ellie’s smile was on the very edge of teasing, a small quirk at the corner of her lips that screamed at you just how wrapped around her finger you were - and, somehow, she didn’t even know it. Her voice was low, nothing more than a murmur that you could practically feel in your own chest when she said, “You really wanna know?” You didn’t answer - couldn’t, really, not when her fingers dug into your thigh and you could count each freckle across her nose. You couldn’t answer when she leaned in closer, her warm breath brushing against your cheeks, smelling of the weed you knew she had smoked that afternoon. You could hardly hear her over the rush of your own heart when she whispered, “You’ll just have to ask me.”

Maybe it was the vodka warming your chest, tingling in your fingers - or maybe it was the way the light from your lamp cast sharp shadows across Ellie’s face, turning her skin into liquid gold - but you did not push her away. Your grip tightened around the neck of the bottle, but you held her gaze when you said, “Truth or dare, Els?”

Her voice was soft, her half-lidded eyes holding yours as she said, “Truth.”

“Who have you fantasized about?” The words rushed out of you before you could hesitate.

And for a moment, you believed she would answer. You let yourself believe that she would give you the answer you craved. It prickled at your skin, raising goosebumps along your arm, spreading warmth through your stomach. But your roommate had never been so straight-foward - had never given you an easy answer. She wet her lips, drawing your eyes to her mouth involuntarily, but she only pried the vodka bottle from your fingers. She held your gaze as she raised it to her lips, drinking straight from the bottle without even wincing.

“I can play that game too, baby.” She backed away, finally giving you a moment to breathe. She settled back against the wall, laying her arms over her knees, the bottle dangling from her fingers. The skin of your thigh still burned, branded with her fingerprints.

You looked away, huffing out a laugh that you prayed sounded sincere. You could feel her eyes on you when you leaned your head back against the wall, counting the cracks in your ceiling like they were the most interesting thing in the whole world. “It’s getting late, Els,” you said, even as your phone flashed that it wasn’t even nine yet and here you were, too many shots in, your roommate’s presence like a fire blazing in your room. “I should get back to studying.”

“Do you want to, though?” There was an edge to Ellie’s voice, as though that question was a dare itself. You lifted your head to look at her and found that she was already watching you, her eyes soft in the dim light.

You took a deep breath - and the vodka must have reached your brain, because before she could ask, you said, “Dare.”

You could see the vodka in the lazy tilt of her smile, in the way her head lolled against the wall. Her eyes were half-lidded, and yet there was something hidden behind her slow, sleepy gaze, something you were too afraid to name - something you were sure was only the imagination of your tipsy fantasies.

“Close your eyes,” Ellie said, words lazily falling from her lips, as deep and rich as the strings of a guitar.

It took you several moments longer than usual to process what she had said. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, as if the two of you were underwater. You shouldn't have felt like this after a few shots - you'd usually only be tipsy at this point. But something about the way the shadows dipped into Ellie's collarbones and the way her shirt rode up, exposing her boxers and the sharp cut of her hips, was intoxicating on its own.

So it took you several long, heavy moments to say, “What?”

She chuckled, but there was no malice behind it. There was something soft in the tilt of her head, the way she tilted her chin down to look at you through her lashes. Her hair fell in her face, brushing against her nose; you fought the urge to brush it away, knowing that if you did you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from running your fingers through her hair. You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from grabbing a fistful of the auburn strands-

“Close your eyes,” she repeated in that same honey-thick voice, breaking you from your thoughts. “For thirty seconds. And don't open them no matter what.” When you only stared at her for several silent moments, she added, “How long have we been friends? Don't you trust me?”

And the thing was, you did. You trusted her with your entire heart, and so you closed your eyes, and you waited.

You felt the bed shift next to you but you did not open your eyes. You did not open them when you felt her long fingers grip your shoulder as she struggled to steady herself. You felt her hair first, fine strands brushing against your cheek, smelling of sweat and her shampoo. You did not open your eyes, even when you felt the gentle press of a warm mouth against the side of your neck. You hardly dared to even breathe, your hands tangling in your sheets, afraid that you would not be able to control yourself otherwise. You counted the long, torturous seconds, biting down on your lip when you felt Ellie’s mouth part, the warmth of her tongue pressing against your pulse.

You had counted to twenty-six when she pulled away, a chill settling over your skin where that warmth had been only seconds ago. When you got to thirty, you opened your eyes to find that Ellie had settled back into her spot, leaning back against the wall. The only sign that she had even moved was the thin sheen over her lips, wet with her own saliva, and a small, pleased smirk.

You did not allow yourself to think about it, ignoring the way your skin burned where she had touched you as though she were a wildfire. You sounded breathless even to your own ears when you said, in barely more than a whisper, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“What are we doing here, Ellie?” The words were out before you could stop them, slipping from between your teeth and hanging in the air like helium. The words felt almost tangible, and yet you couldn't grasp them, couldn't draw them back into your throat.

For a moment, you thought Ellie would grace you with an answer. She opened her mouth, and you thought maybe she would finally stop playing this game and let you breathe. Instead, just like before, she brought the bottle to her lips and held your gaze. You tried not to watch the way her throat moved as she swallowed.

She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and recapped the bottle, settling it between you. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” You felt you could no longer trust yourself with any dare she gave you. Your hands were already shaking from clenching the sheets.

“How would you rate your last kiss?”

You squinted at her, confused by the innocence of the question after everything that had happened in the past hour (had it only been an hour?). “My last kiss was with that one girl I met at the bar a few weeks ago. She was drunk and way too sloppy, but she was hot. I guess I'd give it,” you paused, trying to remember the moment past the haze; you couldn't even remember the girl's name, “a six.”

Ellie raised her eyebrows, her eyes widening. “A six?” She shook her head, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “You’ve got to be fucking with me. A girl like you deserves more than a six.”

“A girl like me?” Your voice sounded deafening in the quiet. You thought it had started to rain; you could hear the pitter patter on your window, could see the way it broke up the streetlamps outside like a mosaic.

Ellie was nodding almost absently, watching the rain. Her lips parted, and you didn’t expect her to hesitate before she said, “Yeah. A girl like you… deserves to be kissed like it’s the last gasp of air to someone drowning.” You watched her mouth as she spoke, even as your mind screamed at you to look away. You scolded yourself, screaming to end this now, but your body refused; it ached to draw her near, a tangible pain in your chest. “A girl like you should get one of those movie kisses - you know, like when the hero saves the day and shit and he kisses his girl and it’s like the world didn’t matter as long as he saved her. The kind that has the whole fucking theater holding their breath. A girl like you…. Fuck….” She trailed off her rambling. Ellie ran a rough hand through her hair, making the strands stick up at odd angles, and finally looked at you. There was a fire in her eyes, blazing in the dim light. “You deserve to be kissed like they’ll die if they can’t have you.”

Something had stopped in your chest - maybe it was your breath, maybe it was your heart. Your blood rushed in your ears, and you feared the thrum of your heartbeat was so loud it filled your entire bedroom. Your traitorous heart pressed at your bedroom walls, filling up the space and leaving room for little else.

Your voice was only a whisper, and you wanted to kick yourself when you said, “We should really go to bed. I have an exam tomorrow.”

Your roommate pressed her lips together, and she did not break eye contact as she said, “Dare.”

You shook your head, looking away from her to try, desperately, to break whatever spell had taken hold of you; but your eyes were drawn back to her as if she were the only fucking light in the dark. You had to get a hold of yourself before you did something you’d regret, but you felt intoxicated with something far stronger than the cheap vodka you had bought from Walmart.

“You’re drunk, Els,” you said, and you sounded so breathless you may as well have given up then and there.

Ellie leaned closer, holding your gaze, and you could see the exact shade of desire in her eyes. She was so fucking warm - your head spun from it, heat radiating from her skin when she planted a hand on the bed right next to your hip. Her wrist brushed against the bare skin under your shorts, and you felt her voice vibrating in your chest when she said, “Dare.”

And it was like she had finally pulled the last fucking thread that made you unravel, because you couldn’t stop yourself - didn’t even think to - before you said, “Kiss me.”

You only had a second to register the smile pulling at the edges of Ellie’s lips before she grabbed your face and pulled you in to smother it. You had never imagined what kissing Ellie would be like - had never allowed your imagination to wander so far over the edge - but she did not kiss like she was drowning. She kissed with the same slow gentleness as when she played the guitar, her long fingers plucking at the strings with the careful deliberation of a lover.

And she felt so fucking warm. You were high with it; high with the heat radiating from her fingers pressed to your cheeks; high from the way her breath snaked past your parted lips, gentle huffs of warmth against your skin. Your head swam as you pressed into her, your hands tangling into the fabric of her shirt, fingers unsure even as you ached to pull her closer.

Ellie pulled back for a moment - for only a moment, but each second her lips weren't on yours caused an ache in your chest. Her eyes hovered inches from yours, so fucking green it was dizzying - though you couldn't see much of the color passed the eclipse of her pupils. Her cheeks were flushed - from the vodka, from something else entirely - her freckles popping against the color. You could only imagine how you looked, could feel the desire written across every inch of your face.

Your fists tightened in her shirt, and you used the leverage to pull her back into you; and suddenly, it felt like you were the one drowning. You couldn’t breathe as Ellie devoured you, the gentleness replaced with a hunger you hadn’t known lived inside her. She pressed her tongue against the seam of your mouth until you relented, opening up to her, a soft sound escaping your throat when her tongue ran along the roof of your mouth.

That sound - nothing more than a breathy sigh - ignited something in Ellie. Suddenly, she was all teeth and tongue and hot, hot breath in your mouth, sucking your bottom lip between her teeth. She bit down when a shaky sigh forced its way from your throat, soothing it with her tongue and swallowing the moan it elicited. Her hands were in your hair, the strands twisted between her fingers, and when you bit down on her lip, she pulled - you gasped at the sharp pain on your scalp.

“Fuck,” she cursed against your lips, and you could feel that single syllable, hot breath in your mouth that you wanted to swallow. She didn’t continue for a long time, couldn’t form any other words past the way her lips made you unravel. Her hands trailed down your shoulders, fingers grazing lightly over the bare skin of your arms, before finding your hips, gripping them in a vice and tugging you closer. “Fuck, come here,” she said, her voice nothing more than a low growl that you felt in your chest.

And you were drunk - from the cheap vodka and sleep deprivation and Ellie. You were drunk on the way her eyes were eclipsed, her lips red and bitten and swollen, parted so you could feel each exhale against your cheeks. Her eyes were dark, hooded. Her fingers dug into your hips, and you were drunk, but shit, how the hell could you say no to her? How could you possibly say no when she was looking at you like she was starving?

Her hands guided you closer so you swung a leg over her hips and settled in her lap, your hands braced on her shoulders. She leaned her head back against the wall and just looked at you for several long moments, biting down on her lip. You couldn’t stop watching her mouth, mesmerized as she said, “Fuck, look at you.”

And then she was kissing you again, her hands gripping your hips like it was a lifeline. Your hands found their way to her hair, curling your fingers in the short locks, using it as leverage to pull her closer. You could feel how each point of your body fit into hers; your thighs against her legs, her hands curling perfectly over the swell of your hips. You could feel the swell of her breasts against your chest, and you so badly wanted to feel her skin against yours. You felt like you’d go crazy from the raw want radiating from your body.

Ellie’s lips traced a map across your cheek, down your jawline. You tilted your head so she could kiss the hinge of your jaw, the spot right below your ear. She paused there, planting hot, open-mouth kisses across your neck, before her teeth bit down on that sensitive spot, pulling the skin into her mouth, and you practically melted into her. You couldn’t control the sounds falling from your lips like honey, gripping at her hair as she soothed the bruise with her tongue.

“Ellie….” Your voice was nothing more than a whimper; you swallowed hard and tried again, pressing a hand firmly at her shoulder. “Ellie.”

She only hummed against your skin, and you could feel the vibration against your pulse. The sound went straight to your stomach and dipped even lower when she bit at your collarbone.

The next time you said her name, it came out as a moan; you cleared your throat. “We can’t do this - you’re drunk, Els.”

Your roommate hummed again, but she relented, leaning her head back against the wall to look up at you. And - fuck. Her lips were red and swollen, still wet from the kiss. Her cheeks were flushed, and - God, her eyes. You had never understood the term bedroom eyes, but Ellie looked at you as though she wanted to devour you. Like any second her hands weren’t on you was torture. Like she wanted to bite and kiss and taste every inch of your skin.

“Truth or dare,” she said, her voice so hoarse you had to clench your thighs around her hips.

“What?”

“Truth or dare,” she repeated, her eyes never leaving yours. And this wasn’t part of the game, but you played along anyway, unable and unwilling to tell her no.

“Truth,” you sighed.

One of Ellie’s hands traced up your side. She ran her fingers across your collarbone, up your throat, before stopping to cup your jaw, her skin rough against yours. “Do you want this?”

You nodded, the vodka making it impossible to feel shy.

“How long have you wanted this?” Ellie’s thumb pressed at the seam of your lips, and you let your mouth fall open. She watched, hypnotized, dipping just the tip of her thumb between your lips before withdrawing.

It was against the rules - two questions for one truth - but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “A long fucking time.” Your voice was weak and breathy, and you couldn’t bother to be embarrassed about that either. Your attention had narrowed in on Ellie, and the way her fingers skirted across your chest, the way her other hand gripped your hip - how you could feel the warmth of her thighs between your legs.

Taking your chin in her hand, she drew you closer, and you could feel her lips moving against yours: “So what the hell is stopping us?”

This time, when she kissed you, you did melt into her. You gripped her hair in your fists and swallowed the moan it drew from her, shivering when her teeth caught on your lip. She had both hands on your hips again, and she gripped them so hard you were sure you’d find bruises there in the morning in the shape of her fingers. She pulled you closer, pulling your hips down into her; the friction through your pajama shorts made you moan against her lips.

And you decided to play her game.

“Truth or dare?” you said, drawing away just enough to see the eclipse of her eyes.

Ellie, always stubborn, murmured, “Dare.”

You tugged at the hem of her shirt, your fingers brushing the warm skin beneath; you marveled at the shiver that ran through her body. You ducked your head to kiss along her jaw, pressing the words into her skin. “Take this off.”

She didn’t waste any time tugging the shirt over her head, tossing it to the floor before skidding her fingers over the bare skin above your shorts. You lifted your arms and let her pull your shirt over your head before realizing you weren’t wearing anything beneath. Who wears a bra to study in their own apartment?

But you didn’t have a moment to cover your body in embarrassment before Ellie’s lips were on you again, as if it pained her to not taste you for even a moment. Her hands spread across your back, pulling you into her as she peppered hot, open-mouthed kisses across your collar; you hissed when her teeth bit down over your collarbone, soothing the pain with her tongue.

“Tell me to stop and I'll stop,” Ellie said, her voice muffled as she kissed down over your chest; you shivered when her teeth sank into the skin of your boob, sucking another bruise there. She certainly loved leaving her signature on any inch of your skin that her mouth could reach.

You groaned low in your chest, your fingers tugging at her hair, pulling a gasp from her lips. You almost didn’t recognize your own voice - breathy and thick with desire - when you said, “Please don’t stop.”

The next thing you knew, Ellie was shoving you off of her lap; your back hit the mattress, your head just barely missing the headboard, but you couldn’t even think about that. Your roommate was crawling over you, and you were hypnotized by the way her muscles tensed, her arms caging you against the bed. Her skin was fucking obscene, smooth plains stretching for miles, cast in liquid gold in the lamplight.

“God, look at you,” she said again, pressing a kiss to your clavicle. Her hand was like worn clay when it traced a teasing line over your hip. Her voice was muffled against your skin, but you caught the end of her sentence: “- so fucking pretty.”

Your only response was a choked gasp when Ellie pressed the flat of her tongue to your nipple. You gripped her shoulder, feeling her lips close around you as she sucked your skin into her mouth; you winced when she released it, feeling her teeth graze maddeningly over your nipple.

“Truth or dare?” she said into your skin, her voice vibrating in your bones.

You groaned, gripping her shoulder when she licked a line over your other nipple. If you had thought about this (which, if anybody asked, you didn’t), you never would have imagined your roommate being such a fucking tease.

She hummed, and you could feel the vibration in every nerve. For a moment, you couldn’t find your tongue, your voice caught in your chest until she released your skin with a pop of her lips. She looked up at you, batting her eyes, and dammit if your body didn’t arch, searching for her mouth again.

Propping herself up on her elbows, she watched you through her lashes, an intoxicating smirk across her lips; they were still shining wetly. She broke you from your thoughts when she murmured, “Use your words, angel.”

Your thighs clenched around her words, automatically and unconsciously. You were sure you could get drunk on the way her voice filled the room, rough and rich as the chords she played. It was through clenched teeth that you said, setting your pride aside, “Dare.” Your cheeks burned when it came out as a moan.

You could feel her smile against your skin as she kissed down your stomach, silent for several long, torturous moments. You felt her teeth sink into your hip bone briefly, your hips jerking at the sensation. It earned you a chuckle before you felt Ellie’s hands pressing your hips into the mattress, holding you still. You groaned low in your throat when you felt her tongue against the skin over the band of your shorts, licking a stripe right above the fabric before taking the elastic between her teeth and tugging. You jumped when she released it, the band snapping back against your skin. You didn’t have to look at her to see the sparkle in her eye.

You swore your heart stopped completely when she murmured, “I wanna go down on you.”

Despite this game she was insistent on playing, it wasn’t said like a dare; it was said like a question, or a request. There was no expectation behind it. Ellie was asking, you realized with dizzying satisfation, for permission.

“Fuck.” It came out as only a breath, a whisper against your tongue. Your fingers ached from gripping the sheets and she hadn’t even touched you yet. “Fuck,” you tried again, and it was a groan this time but at least it was louder. “Yeah. Yeah, please, fuck.” Words were just falling from your lips because when you looked down, Ellie - your roommate, your friend - was watching you, propped between your legs with that fucking smirk, and how could you possibly string together a complete sentence?

And Ellie… didn’t. She didn’t follow up on her dare. Not immediately, at least. No, she took her sweet fucking time - always so damn precise, taking her time in hooking her fingers over the band of your shorts. She pulled them down so slowly you could feel every inch down your legs. And then you were lying beneath your roommate in nothing but your underwear - and dammit, if you had known this would be happening, you would have opted for something a little sexier than a cotton pair with constellations on them.

Ellie smiled. “Cute,” she said, before sinking her teeth into the flesh of your thigh. You were thankful it was cold out - you’d have to wear layers to hide all the places her mouth had been.

Your roommate ducked her head, and you gasped when you felt her press a featherlight kiss against the fabric of your underwear, right where warmth pooled between your legs.

You huffed, twisting the sheets between your fingers. “God, you’re such an asshole - fuck-” You were cut off when Ellie licked a stripe up your panties, warm tongue pressing against your throbbing clit. You moaned at the relief, feeling the wetness of her mouth through the fabric. It wasn’t enough - you needed to feel her against you, needed her tongue to unravel you piece by piece. You pressed your hips down against her lips but her hands held you in place.

You huffed out a breath, her name slipping from your lips when you moaned. “Ellie….”

And then she was yanking your underwear down your hips; you gasped, lifting your ass to help her shove them down. She had only gotten them just below your knees before she was pressing back in, too impatient to finish the job.

And - fuck, her mouth. Ellie’s mouth was fucking magic. You moaned into the quiet room when she pressed the flat of her tongue against your pussy, licking a stripe between your lips. You couldn’t control the curses slipping between your teeth when her tongue made teasing circles around your clit until you were whimpering, aching for her. She had released your hips to dig her fingers into your thighs, nails digging in, and you’d surely have crescent-shaped bruises there tomorrow - even more to cover up. You pressed your hips down against her, groaning, her name only a whisper: “Fuck, Els-”

And then she finally, finally, gave you what you wanted.

Ellie ate pussy like it was her fucking job, like she was clocking into a shift and working her ass off for those tips. She lapped at your clit like she was starving, pressing her lips against you until you were dizzy, your entire body tuned in to the warmth of her tongue and the gentle graze of her teeth. You shuddered when you felt that tongue press into your core, a brief pressure that pulled curses from your lips, words tripping over each other: “Ah - fuck - fuck, Ellie - oh my God, fuck-”

It didn’t take long for tension to build in your stomach. You were intoxicated; you were tipsy, yes, but something about the way Ellie moved her tongue - long, slow circles around your clit, using the flat of her tongue to draw you closer to the edge - was like a damn drug. You got what you wanted: She unraveled you with her tongue, tugging curses from your lips. You could hear your own moans echoing against your quiet bedroom and you couldn’t even feel embarrassed about it.

Ellie took your clit between her lips and sucked, pulling you into her mouth and-

A long, low moan pulled at your throat when you came. Your hand came up to grip at her hair, fingers twisting in the soft strands. She moaned when you pulled, and the vibration against every nerve pushed you further; you could feel your orgasm in your chest, could feel it trembling in your thighs.

Ellie worked you through it, her tongue dancing against you as you rode out your high. She didn’t stop, pressing her lips against you, dipping her tongue into your core again, until you were shoving against her head, your hips bucking at the sensitivity.

When she raised her head, she was grinning, that wicked, infuriating grin she always had when she was pleased with herself. She rested her head against your thigh for a moment, watching you as you blinked the stars from your eyes. You relaxed your fingers in her hair, smoothing your thumb across her temple.

The only thing you could say, breathless and dizzy, was, “Fuck, Els. What the fuck?”

Ellie laughed, the sound unarming the silence around you, the anxiety of what this meant. She pressed a kiss to your thigh, right over the little indentations where her nails had dug into the flesh, and just said, “Yeah?”

You giggled, tugging at her hair gently. You looked down at your roommate - and you didn’t know what this meant for the two of you, but that could be a problem for tomorrow, when you weren’t drunk and sleep-deprived and naked beneath your friend. For now, you only said, “Truth or dare?”

Ellie blinked, raising an eyebrow, and said, “Truth.”

You considered not asking for a moment, unsure if you wanted to know, but curiosity pressed at you until you asked, “What do I taste like?”

The grin spread wider, Ellie’s eyes sparkling as she pushed herself up. She crawled up your body, taking a moment to press a kiss to your stomach, to the bruises she had left littered across your chest - you moaned when she took a nipple briefly into her mouth. She kissed her way up your neck, across your jaw, sucking at the skin beneath your ear - another fucking bruise to worry about. God, it was like she wanted her signature on you, branded in every inch of your skin.

Her face hovered an inch above yours, propping herself up on her elbows, smirking. She leaned in close, leaving room for you to turn away if you wanted. Instead, you tilted your chin up and kissed her again.

You wrinkled your nose at the metallic taste of yourself against her lips. You didn’t like it, the way your own scent wafted over you. But fuck if you didn’t open your mouth when you felt Ellie’s tongue pressing at the seam of your lips. She moaned when your tongue ran along the roof of her mouth, pressing into the taste of you.

When she pulled back, her eyes were soft, her cheeks flushed. “Like that.”

You rolled your eyes, turning your face away; you had to admit, even if you hated how you tasted - tasting yourself against her tongue sent a wave of heat between your legs all over again. You only said, “Gross.”

Ellie leaned in again, and you felt her lips ghosting against your jaw. You felt her breath against your skin when she whispered, “Truth or dare?”

You lifted your chin to give her access to your neck, sighing when she pressed a kiss against your pulse. “Truth.”

Her breath huffed against you when she chuckled before raising her head to meet your eyes again, that same cocky smile spread across her lips. “Was that better than a six?”

“Oh, fuck off.” You shoved against her until she rolled off of you.

She flopped back against the mattress, still laughing, but she was holding her arm out for you. You only hesitated for a moment - but even if she was your roommate, she just made you see stars, so it’s not like cuddling would push against the boundary you had already broken. You curled into her, laying your head on her chest, the sports bra she was still wearing soft against your cheek.

You sighed, skimming your fingertips against the warm skin of her stomach. “Yeah,” you whispered before you could stop yourself. “Definitely better than a six.”

You were starting to fall asleep, your eyes growing heavy, your study notes effectively forgotten. You burrowed into her further, wrapping your arm around her and pressing your fingers against her hip. You briefly wondered where the vodka bottle had ended up in the mess, but Ellie didn’t seem in any particular hurry to untangle herself from you, so you figured it could wait - surely it would be okay if she slept in your room for one night.

Just before you dozed off, you heard Ellie murmur, “You left the window open.”

#listen i'm writing a novel rn so i forgot how to write short things #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #lesbian smut #ellie x you #ellie the last of us #ellie williams tlou #tlou smut #idk man #tlou 2 x reader #i might change the title idk i couldn't think of anything #i haven't written fanfiction in. like 8 or 9 years i think lol

3K notes · View notes

purplecritter · 1 year

Text

theories/thoughts/analysis about touchstarved after playing the demo a few times

Under the cut because it got long (I exceeded the post character limit...) Also spoilers btw. PS: All the links are to posts on the official social media accounts or their kickstarter, with the exception of the animated trailer screenshots that I got from here.

(Happy one month since demo dropped!)

Mhin

I'm starting with them because I play favorites.

Mhin's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the crying eye (guilt? pain? blood? Their pupils almost seem to glow red, I wonder if it's connected) and the beak (in a way that reminds me of the skull of a bird rather than a live one).

The red choice connected to them is about asking if they're a scientist: their precision is almost surgical, though when asked if they've studied anatomy or medicine their reply is “Not quite” so it must be something similar enough.

When Vere complains about their first encounter with Mhin, he mentions that their dagger (visible in their in-game art) is an antique. Perhaps they inherited it, maybe from a mentor? It’s a curious choice of weapon for a hunter: stilettos (it’s described as such in the demo) aren’t ineffective in battle (especially if wielded by a physically strong fighter, which they absolutely are), but they are favored by assassins because they’re easy to conceal, they strike precisely and deeply but without letting much blood leak from the needle-thin wound.

As far as design goes, the clasps on their hood looks like a mix between the quaternary celtic knot and the triquetra / trinity knot. Symbolically, the latter is associated to the Triple Goddess (more on this in Leander’s section) or three elements, while the former represents the four elements or the four seasons or the four cardinal directions, and is often used as a symbol of protection.

Their fatal flaw is that they “resist change at all costs”. I'm led to believe that they became a Monster instead of being born one. I think it either happened not that long ago or they lost control over it recently, and that's what spurred them on their search for a cure. Them being described as “outcast” also makes me think that they could have been exiled from wherever they came from, perhaps because the people found out that “a monster hides within their frame”.

When questioning them about Ais, they say “I'm not going to risk my life in the hopes that any of them is different” which shows that they’re distancing themself from their situation (i.e., being/becoming a Monster).

Their hate towards Monsters could be either a projection of the hate they feel towards themself (if they were aware that there was a Monster inside of them before they lost control and hurt someone, for example) or just because one took over them and by extension they hate every Monster because of it. If the “lost control and hurt someone” thing is true I'll also add that they might be working as a Hunter as a way to try and atone. It could also be a way to expel the more violent instincts (I’m assuming they have some) into something productive.

The “they're afraid of being hurt. Or worse” on their relationship chart with Kuras feels to me like they're afraid of hurting him, also because when you ask them how they get along with him during the demo, they say “Few people are willing to help others; fewer when there's any risk involved” and I'm choosing to interpret that they think of themself as the risk. I know I'm really pushing it on this aspect but the “If you stay too close to me, you'll get hurt”+“Find someone safer to ask for help” only fuels me more. Their monstrous form also looks less defined and more liquid compared to the others, maybe because it's not as developed so it doesn't look as solid?

Vere is also said to be often provoking Mhin in order to make them lose control: he's confident in himself enough to think that he'd have the upper hand in a fight with Monster!Mhin, probably because they're a skilled hunter but they don't have that much experience over their monstrous side. Mhin dislikes Vere because he’s “the embodiment of everything [they] hate about Monsters”: while Mhin holds back from their nature and seeks a cure, Vere wants to give in to his instincts without restraints.

In the demo, they get defensive when questioned about the Senobium, but when they say “Whatever you're looking for, the cost may be higher than what you're willing to pay” I think they're speaking from experience.

It's interesting that it's implied that they slept with Leander once. Judging by the comment about the Wet Wick being the “perfect combination for making mistakes”, they're not enthusiastic about it. I’m guessing that they don't like that Leander has seen them with their guard down? Or they

Unless I missed something, it's unknown where in Eridia they're staying. I'll say it's probably in a different direction from the Wet Wick since they make a point of saying that they're only going there to protect Kuras (instead of, for example, “I live nearby anyways so I'll take the same road”).

The flowers in their pin design look similar to cornus kousa, or some other type of dogwood, symbolizing hope, resilience, renewal (I also found: rebirth, new life, strength, regret). After a long and grueling winter, Eridia greets the first dogwood blossoms with relief. These flowers are known to cling tenaciously to life even in the worst conditions, from barren wastelands to ruins perpetually shrouded in Fogfall… Really poetic meaning! I imagine Mhin as the dogwood flower, persisting even after the Tragic Backstory that made them lonely (“barren wastelands”) and their Monster Form (“shrouded in fogfall”)

Leander

Leander's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights only his eyes (they share the color of his magic -> maybe it's how he uses magic that contributes to him being “monstrous”?).

Nothing to note about his red choice except that it is unlocked by generally following his lead (taking the flower when he offers it, touching him without hesitation).

Speaking of his magic, an Alchemist MC notes that it extraordinarily powerful, enough that he doesn't need incantations or spell circles to cast it. Kuras mentioned that Leander prefers the company of those similar to him and that the Bloodhounds are mostly people who've endured the hardships of Lowtown, so I can't help but wonder if Leander was always a natural at magic, or if he did receive training but was later cast out, or maybe he left by choice?

A recurrent symbol in Leander's design is the triangle, as a detail mostly (on his coat, boots, dangling from his belt), but there's also one that looks like the alchemical symbol for earth (🜃) attached to the brooch on his chest; another symbol for earth is, you guessed it, the serpent, whose other meaning is duplicitous nature as well as renewal and rebirth. This connects to the ouroboros (present in his earring as well as in the background of the sticker and charm kickstarter rewards), symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth and with relevance in alchemy as the “all in one”. The same theme is also present in the symbol of the triple moon (on his belt) symbolizing the stages of birth life and death and more in general three aspects united in one; the white lilies symbolizing renewal, regrowth, rebirth. The green feels fitting too, since it's often used to symbolize health and abundance.

Alongside the little triangle shape, attached to his belt there are a key (which is not the room key he gave MC), the head of which reminds me of two snakes knotted together; there's also a... I have no clue what that glowing red globe-spike is actually. It's the only other red item (along with the gem on the earring sword hilt) on Leander, but in some of the concept art it was green instead, so I think it's at least somewhat connected to his magic or the source of it. The shape of it combined with the red glow reminds me of Eridia’s towers’ architecture but that’s probably a stretch. I also feel like the symbol on the central part of the triple moon belt buckle is relevant: it immediately reminded me of a spell circle, and after doing some digging in sacred geometry, I’ve found that its 6 petal-like shapes (lilies also have 6 petals...) look similar to the hexafoil, “germ of life”, or the central part of the “seed of life”, which is connected to the divine creation of the world in 7 days/phases; a series of interconnected hexafoils make the “flower of life”, the meaning of which is creation (both in general and of the universe itself), and that everything’s interconnected to everything else... I couldn’t help but think of the “As above, so below” tagline in the Bloodhounds' poster; the sentence has so many interpretations in alchemy/esotericism but the gist of it is, “things in the higher realms of existence are just like in the lower/earthly plane” and “what happens in a large scale also happens in a small scale” and “common material things can make pure spiritual things”.

Overall, I'm thinking that all the green-glowing details on his outfit might be arcane foci, to help him cast magic without using incantations. As of right now, I’m willing to bet that Leander's connected to the Allmother (the traveler in the cart prayed to her) and/or the Abbess (the leader of the Senobium, I think): many of the aforementioned symbols also have ties to femininity and/or feminine qualities.

Other big things in his design are the eyebags and scar that goes from the cheek to the arm. I don’t have much to say on those, probably the scar is going to be connected to some important backstory event and the eyebags are a clue to suggest that there’s something troubling behind the bright and positive persona that he presents as.

If we want to take the name literally (I do), we could assume that Leander and his Bloodhounds are not simply a group of mercenaries, but mercenaries with a cause. Hounds are a breed specifically intended to track something specific (or someone specific) by scent. Given the animosity shown by them at the mere mention of the Senobium, it could have something to do with that, but perhaps it's also something more personal to Leander.

Let's get to the biggest red flag of the green-themed man: “Fatal flaw: [REDACTED]” and “Not all Monsters are inhuman”. There's also the fact that Vere doesn't trust his behaviour (I'll get to it in his section but I would generally trust Vere's words to be truthful). It’s also worth noting that in the first scene he makes an appearance in, he’s presented almost as a performer, a subtle-not-so-subtle hint that he can work his audience really skillfully. Overall, he seems too good to be true, and to quote Leander himself in the demo, “Things that seem too good to be true are often just that.” I don't think he's malevolent per se, but I also believe he's a very good liar (or at least, good at keeping his cards close to his pillowy bosom chest) and he can be a lot more ruthless than he lets on.

I already said it in Mhin's section but it's implied that the two of them slept together once, and I can't help but wonder if Leander also tried the whole "let me touch you so I can see what curses you but also you can tie me down if you want wink wink" tactic with them.

I get the feeling that he also slept with Ais? “He sure likes it when others take control”+“He's not so bad once you get to know him”. The bartender didn't joke about the room being used often huh (i’m saying this lighthearted and teasingly, nothing against it lol).

He's obviously staying at the Wet Wick with the rest of the Bloodhounds, and it happens often enough that the bartender/owner is familiar with their habits. I wonder if he also as a house of his own or not.

The flowers (in-game art, animated trailer, pin design, charm and sticker design) are white lilies, symbolizing devotion, sympathy and faith (I also found: renewal/rebirth/reregrowth and purity. Nothing says “I love you” as clearly as white lilies—ironic, since they’re some of the region’s most poisonous flowers. Some mages believe that these lilies contain a mysterious magic, but attempts to harness this power have only resulted in lethal poisonings. A not-so-veiled warning to be careful of what lies behind Leander’s charming facade... And considering that he seems to like when MC defers to him, I could imagine the (metaphorical... unless?) lethal poisoning in a possible bad end!

Kuras

Kuras' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the several eyes (truth and secrets being very important themes in his route, he's also described as “observer”) and his tears (his guilt).

No red choice for Kuras, but there is various flavour text depending on choices. First and most notably, the Unnamed MC notes that something about him feels familiar: this could simply be a hint about him being divine in nature, or it might mean something more, I'm still uncertain. Moreover, depending on dialogue, one of his scenes towards the end of the demo plays out slightly differently, and it shows the more playful side of him (which I absolutely didn’t expect, but I enjoyed that).

As far as appearance goes, his human form and his divine form have many similarities: this post does a very good job of showing them, but additionally I'll say that his halo (silhouette, charm and sticker design) reminds me of the shape of his earrings.

There are a few lines that imply that being in Kuras' vicinity feels physically warmer. It could be just a standard “MC likes him so being near makes them feel all warm and fuzzy” but I think it's more to do with his angelic nature having a comforting effect on people. Something that could be connected to that is the theme of fire (“eldritch flames”, also visible in the charm and sticker design), which symbolically is the element that purifies souls and reveals the truth.

His clinic seems very neat, for someone who works with numerous patients for the whole day. Moreover, his clothes stay unnaturally devoid of any sign of dirt. His appearance is also very curated, so I think that part of it is him being thorough about cleaning and part of it might be a consequence of his magic. Additionally, during the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 49:32), they (jokingly) said that Kuras doesn’t even put his hair up while performing surgeries, which to me also means that he doesn’t need to do it because he’s supernaturally clean and hygienic.

There's no clear mention of him having magic in the first place, but I don't think he could've completely reattached MC's arm so flawlessly any other way.

I wouldn't think much of it if it were any other character but Kuras' birthday being January 1st makes me think that he picked the date on purpose... or randomly, considering it doesn’t seem to be important to him.

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 41:24), it was noted that Kuras’ name was deliberately chosen, I think implying that it probably has a meaning behind it, though I can’t say what as of now (my search only revealed that kurash is a type of wrestling in Central Asia, and that there’s a deity called Kura in a region of Syria).

I think it's a known fact in Eridia that Kuras is not simply human (“Only the most desperate or the foolish would dare lay a hand on me”), so it's interesting that he chose to not disclose that to the MC. Granted, they've interacted for less than a day now and information is the currency. I also wonder if he’s always been a doctor or if he chose to become one at a certain point... I guess it would depend: is he “repentant” for something he did before settling in Eridia, or after?

Ais also thinks that Kuras used to be more outgoing but the reason he doesn’t really open up a lot to people anymore is because he “must’ve been burned”, which is an interesting insight. I lean more towards thinking that he’s been burned after becoming a resident in Eridia.

There's nothing that strikes me as peculiar regarding his relationships with the other characters,with two exceptions. Kuras' self-inflicted exile is centuries old, and combined with the fact that he (occasionally and begrudgingly?) works with the Senobium, it might be plenty of reason for Vere to hate him. I think that Kuras might've witnessed how he came to be captured (or actively took part in it), and that event is what feeds his mistrust towards Vere. Secondly, it’s said that he “looks forward to Ais helping around his clinic”: does Ais use the Seaspring’s healing powers on some patients (“I help him in the clinic sometimes”)? I wonder if the smokey scent when the MC wakes in Kuras’ clinic was because he’d been there recently.

He lives in one of the more populated areas, probably because 1) more easy for patients to reach him and 2) he likes meeting people.

The flowers in his pin design look like magnolias, symbolizing longevity, grace, divinity (I also found: eternity, perseverance, purity). The elegant magnolia’s therapeutic properties are vital in such a dangerous world. The Senobium cultivates a small magnolia grove, though few make it past the imposing gates to enjoy the rejuvenating blossoms… Of course the medicinal aspect reflects Kuras well. And there’s the connection to him being employed in some form by the Senobium too, the gates could definitely be a metaphor for how he keeps the true extent of his powers at bay

Ais

Ais' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights his tattoo (Ocudeus' tentacles) and his eyes (the Groupmind's effect).

If MC’s been talking defiantly to him throughout the demo, the red choice connected to Ais also consists of rebelling to him, which he clearly enjoys (he’s said to dislike easy fights, so that’s probably it).

An Unnamed MC will note that Ocudeus’s presence/calling in the Seaspring feels familiar, and that his tattoo feels unnatural and it seems to move when they’re not looking... I’ll say that the tattoo isn’t a regular one, and might be the physical manifestation of the metaphorical mark that the bond with Ocudeus left on Ais. This also explains why in the silhouette of his monstrous form the tentacle tattoo is extended beyond what it normally looks like (it reaches his face, and over half of his chest).

The very prominent eye theme (charm and sticker design, Ocudeus possibly meaning “eye god” if it’s latin) and feeling of being watched (+“Got eyes in the back of my head”), plus the fact that the red-eyed woman knew what MC was seeking as well as their name, makes me believe that Ocudeus' area of influence is very extensive. As a consequence of the Groupmind, it's likely that apart from sharing thoughts (and identity?) those connected also share what they see to Ocudeus/Ais.

The notes left on the pillars are interesting. The topmost and middle one I feel are more useful to the player and serve as casual worldbuilding, but the bottommost one is the most curious imo: decoding the scrawling results in “never wish on a shooting star he's always listening”. Initially I thought that the “he” referred to Ocudeus, but it doesn't feel correct (Ocudeus always watches, it doesn't listen).

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 36:32), Ais was said to be the first character that they created, and the rest of the cast was built around him for cohesiveness. This is interesting to me, as from the demo I thought that “central” role would fit Leander more.

Speaking of Leander, both of them have a like/dislike relationship with each other (Leander because “the assassination attempts are funny, until they’re not” and Ais because he “won’t hesitate to put Leander in his place when the time comes”). Leander seems to be uncomfortable about the effects that the Seaspring has on people, while Ais talks about “a time where Leander's resolve will be tested, same for anyone in this plane or the next”... I wonder how soon that time is going to be 👀. I already noted this in Leander’s section but I think they also slept together at one point or another.

Same topic, different character: Vere. It’s cute that they’re so fond of each other [1, 2], and I’m very curious to know how they met. They probably bonded because of compatible personalities, but I also think that they like each other because they’re both dangerous, and being with someone who is also as dangerous feels... Fitting, safe, maybe?

The fact that he's “not as in control of his powers as he thought” is also interesting to me, since his nonchalance doesn't seem to be because he's lazy but because he's extremely confident. Perhaps he got too sure of himself and lost sight of the risks?

Ais is described as “renegade”, which by definition is someone who betrays a principle/alliance. I have no doubt that this is connected to the reason why he's a “gang leader without the gang members”, and probably to how he came to bond with Ocudeus. Because he's also said to dislike isolation, I lean more towards saying that he didn't willingly let his (former?) members go, my theory is either they left on their own (perhaps they were scared of Ocudeus, or they didn't approve of it) or he accidentally disposed of them (either because he wasn't in control of Ocudeus / the Soulless, or because Ocudeus felt hungry and they were conveniently nearby). Either way, it must have hurt him, since he's not at all willing to talk about it beyond “Gang took a walk”.

I’m very curious about Mhin saying “Monsters like [Ais] don't know or care about what they have”... What does (did?) Ais have? Could it be in reference to him letting his former gang/companions go away in favor of siding with Ocudeus and/or the Seaspring?

He lives at the Seaspring, though I wonder if he sleeps in a pile near those cushions, cuddling the Soulless, or if he has more personal quarters further in. There's a cave entrance visible on the other side of the bloody water, but that feels more for Ocudeus rather than Ais himself.

The flowers in his pin design are spider lilies, symbolizing mourning, goodbyes, lost memories (I also found: death, abandonment, new beginnings). Eerily beautiful, red spider lilies bear the sorrow of loss and farewells. Eridians believe these flowers shepherd lost spirits into the afterlife. The city has seen a sudden increase in these unearthly flowers, leaving many puzzled about their meaning… Very fitting with Ocudeus’ domain of losing memories and thus, beginning a new life! I’m not sure if we should be taking the increase in flowers literally, or just metaphorically as there’s many in the Groupmind

Vere

Vere's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the eyes again (“windows to the soul” and all that), his fangs (him being the most openly aggressive) and the collar and chains (the thing that binds him to the Senobium's will).

I haven’t been able to not get his red choice [edit: “hidden ending”, not a red choice], but from my understanding of what others have said it’s based on how you talk to him and not on your actions. I’d love to say more but since I don’t know exactly influences it, I don’t have much to talk about regarding that🥹

“Not quite human, not quite monster. Seems we’re both--” I wonder if he was about to finish the sentence with ‘cursed’?

He has unique dialogue for each of MC’s backstories: to an Alchemist he says “The misery born of your mistreatment haunts you. I understand what it’s like to be used and thrown away. I’ll give your life new meaning”; to an Unnamed “You poor thing, misled by those you trusted most. You caused so much suffering unknowingly. I know that pain. I can help you forget it all”; to a Hound “The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search to no end. I could give you something new to live for”. Apart from showing that he knows stuff he’s not supposed to, I’m more interested about what he says to Alchemist and Hound: he knows the pain of causing suffering unknowingly, and he knows what it’s like to be used and then discarded. His powers seems to be seeing through people, I’d say almost mind-reading (“You can’t hide anything from me.”), but I think soul reading is a more fitting definition. I feel that all of the comments related to MC's backstory have more to do with what they experienced/felt than just objective facts, plus the way he says “All that suffering has made your soul so irresistibile...”, it makes me think that he's reading MC’S present and past emotions through their soul.

The most apparent part of his design is that he’s half showing, half hiding. His outfit makes the harness very visible, yet he hid the leash from the MC for as long as possible, and he didn't let them close enough to touch it. His pants are fully cover one side and show skin on the other. The sheer fabrics look very cool on their own but I like to think they're also part of the "half show, half hide" thing he has going on. An Alchemist MC will note that the collar seems to be enchanted, while other backstories will simply say that the lock seems easy enough to open.

In the charms and stickers design, there's his chain in the background, and it's broken. Metaphorically and literally, “breaking free from the chains” symbolizes putting an end to what holds someone captive, but also finding freedom to be oneself. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I think a freed Vere would also feel free to not hide so much of himself. On that note, I'm extremely curious about what he draws on his sketchbook. Also in the charm and stickers design, as well as in the Nintendo Switch port art, is the key that he stole from the MC. It's curious that they included it instead of a more personal object like his sketchbook (present in the Switch port art but not in the stickers), but it might just be a fun nod to the demo or maybe he'll develop a habit of stealing the key again in the full game, so I don't think I should read too much into that.

Neither Vere or Kuras of them gives too many juicy details about their mutual hate towards each other during the demo, but from the additional info [1, 2] published on Tumblr, I think it might have to do with the fact that both of them have been confined in Eridia for centuries, and perhaps Kuras even contributed to the capture of Vere, too.

He’s defined as a “charlatan”, which by definition means “someone who decieves through false claims”. It fits with him saying “If I were you, I wouldn’t trust a word I say” and “Information is a luxury [...] If you valued my words you'd have taken them seriously”. This feels like a recurring theme for Vere: Ais also says, “Vere is one of the most honest people you'll meet. Just don't listen to a single thing he says”. Despite the very obvious predatory/mischievous nature of Vere, I think that he is very honest about the things he says: it’s about reading between the lines.

His very evident distaste towards Leander might be connected to this, seeing that Leander seems to be hiding a lot.

Vere clearly likes Ais, but as soon as MC asks more, he warns them about how dangerous he and the Seaspring are. I think both are true: Ais being “a good person” doesn’t exclude the fact that he is dangerous.

It could be a stretch, but I wonder if Vere lives/stays in the building that he was chained to?

The flowers in his pin design look like some type of lilies, perhaps wood lily are a type of amaryllis that symbolizes passion, allure, pride ( when researching the wood lilies, I also found: danger, determination). Local legends conflict on the origins of the amaryllis. Whether they sprang from the spilt blood of a scorned lover or were born of an ancient Senobian ritual gone awry, the truth behind these flowers is knowledge long forgotten… or held by a privileged few. Like Kuras, his flower mirrors the connection to the Senobium though it remains vague about how exactly they became involved... In the greek myth, Amaryllis consulted an oracle to win the love of the shepherd Alteo: she walked to his house every day, piercing her heart with a golden arrow, and on the 30th day flowers bloomed from her blood. Alteo became enamoured with the maiden and the flowers that bore her name... I wonder how Touchstarved’s version of the myth is different than ours, and which character Vere is more akin to?

Nothing on Sen or Elyon for now since there's too little info on both, but I'm looking forward to putting them under a microscope too 👀

(bangs pots and pans) please share your theories/thoughts if you read this far? 👉👈