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m4tthewsgf · 3 months

Text

Birthday wishes

Matt Sturniolo x fem y/n !bday girl

Warnings: this one's kinda dark so tw for implied sh and suicidal thoughts/tendencies

Author's Note: today marks my 19th year of living and what's better than writing a story based on your feelings and hoping that it will provide you some comfort? 😃 yeah idk just felt the need to do that I guess so there you go, sorry if this is a bit much. Enjoy!!! You matter!!!

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The day I've been dreading the most for the past 7 years arose. The day that I was brought into this world, a place I always wanted to leave behind. Ever since I was a teenager, I hated my birthday. Sure, when I was younger I did throw parties and got excited about it, but growing up sucks every ounce of innocence and pure joy that's left in one's body, just like a vampire that craves blood. Growing up sucks. The feeling of standing still while the years go by sucks. Everything sucks, but my birthday quadruples that emotion.

I find it ironic how I am supposed to celebrate my existence on a random day in January when I've been yearning to vanish for years. I mean, my age may change every year but I don't, and that scares me. To me, birthdays are like a second New Year's Day where you recap the year that went by only to realise that you did nothing with your life and that you had, in fact, stood still while the whole world was making any sort of progress. The constant feeling of hopelessness and sadness exhausted me. I had waisted so many birthday wishes the past few years for that matter, hoping that they would someday, somehow work and I'd get better, but it was no use. So, I just stopped wishing. Stopped wishing to get better, stopped wishing to be enough for someone, stopped wishing to finally be happy and loved. I stopped because I realised that I was doomed, and what can one do when their destiny has been prescribed to them from the moment they were conceived?

Now, don't get me wrong, I do find parts of life beautiful. Inside this dark, scary cloud that I have found myself drowning in, there certainly are some sun rays that peak through every now and then that remind me that there's beauty in breathing. Beauty in existing. They may not shine as bright for the most part, but when they do, it's always in the right moment when my evil thoughts and emotions take a hold of me. Music, dogs and cats, chocolate, books… Friends. My friends are the most beautiful people in this life. Well, my boyfriend is the most beautiful one out of all, but don't tell Nick and Chris.

Nick, Matt and Chris are basically the people that saved me. I met them when I was at my lowest and they were like a breath of fresh air, like a sip of clean, cold water after wandering around the Sahara desert. Somehow they just showed up in my life and pulled me out of my misery and darkness without even knowing. Sure, I'm still struggling mentally, but they gave me a reason to keep going when I was sure that there weren't any left. I still cannot understand how they did that, but I'm glad they did. Maybe they are superheroes whose superpowers are spreading kindness and hopefulness to the one’s who suffer. Or maybe their hugs are their superpower; when these guys hug you, they wrap their arms so protectively around you that not even your own thoughts can touch you. I don't know what it is, but they are for sure not normal, mortal people.

Even though I love them all equally and they make my days brighter, Matt, my boyfriend, was the one who actually showed me that maybe, just maybe, I am capable of living the life I always dreamed of. I may be 19 now with no dreams and desires, but I once were 7 as well, and little me always wanted to discover what love was and how it felt. She, in fact, wished for it; love. She wanted to be just like the Disney princesses she was so obsessed with, wanting to be wrapped in her lover's arms and find out herself if those butterflies everyone talked about tickled her stomach or not. And Matt did just that. He became her prince who saved her from the monstrosity of a mind her skull ironically protected. He saved her from an ugly, evil version of herself that older her viewed as a monster. It may not was a wicked witch or a fearsome dragon, but it was someone that was still a threat to her.

Matt knows every part of me. Hell, he knows parts of me I haven't even discovered yet. He knows every dent of mine, every scar and wrinkle and mole. He knows how my hands start to shake when someone raises their voice at me and how I pick the dead skin on my bottom lip until it bleeds when I'm stressed. He knows every single ugly thing about me and yet, he sees beauty in it. He sees humanity in the parts that I've baptised as ghastly and abhorrent, the parts I've spent my whole life hating on because they made me, me. At times it didn't feel real. How could someone as pure as him willingly be with a person who always ought to save others while she couldn't save herself? How could have he endured all of me and still choose to stay?

At first I thought it was pity. I assumed he felt sorrow for me and my patheticness, but that worry of mine was shorty discarded when he kissed every scar I had put on my body. He kissed every single one of them, from my thighs to my sides to my arms, caressed them with his fingertips so delicately that I had to question myself if I was some sort of porcelain doll, and whispered sweet little nothings while doing so. He still does that when I'm feeling down or when I'm doubting his love for me. I mean, who wouldn't? My whole life, all I knew was roughness and I was sure that I was incapable of receiving something other than that, but there he was, treating me with so much softness and warmth I didn't think I deserved. Matt was able to heal wounds he never created. His lips, arms and voice were the strings that stitched them together and made them go away. And whenever new ones opened, his kind and reassuring words were the bandages he put over them before stitching them, opting to keep them disinfected so I won't be in any more pain.

Matt was aware that on Christmas and my birthday I needed more care than any other day. He knew how on those two days I just wanted to disappear and my emotions consumed me, so he was extremely loving and comforting. We had multiple conversations about it, about what it was that made me so upset in those days so he could find a way to help me in any way, shape or form. The day I finally opened up to him about it still replays in my head.

Flashback

“Baby?” He asked as he entered the living room and closed the door behind him. I was curled up on a couch with a fuzzy blanket wrapped all over me with tear stained cheeks and red eyes. Once he heard my sniffles, he quickly made his way up to me and sat right next to where my tummy landed.

“What's wrong, beautiful? Did something happen?” He softly spoke as he wiped away a few more tears that escaped from my eyes. I didn't answer, I just shook my head and stared at the movie I was watching. He exhaled sharply and looked over at the TV screen, noticing that I was binge watching my favorite animated film I always put on when I needed some comfort.

“Hey,” he whispered and grabbed my chin to make my eyes fall on his, “you can talk to me, y/n. You're safe with me. Whatever it is, we will go through it together, I promise” he scanned my face.

“I'm sorry” I mumbled as more tears blurred my vision. Matt was quick to grab my face with both of his hands and shushing me. He knew I always apologized when I was feeling down.

“Hush dear, no need to apologize,” he cooed, “I just want to make you feel okay, hm? Let me take care of you, let me cherish you” he pressed his soft lips against my temple, slowly making his way down to my lips.

“I got you something,” he said against my parted lips, hands still on each side of my face. I just looked up at him with frowned eyebrows.

He got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen counter. In an instant, he was right back in front of me with his arms tucked behind his back, hiding whatever my surprise was. With a loving gaze, he brought his hands right in front of me, revealing a bouquet of white and lavender babybreaths with a few lilies, my favorite flowers, along with a basket that consisted of my favorite snacks and books that I wanted to read. My jaw hung open.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart” Matt breathed with a toothy grin. I just stared at him with a lost expression.

At this point, we had been together for only 3 months and I was pretty sure I hadn't mentioned any of the things he was gifting me. I couldn't recall a moment where I had vocalized my love for those flowers or my desire to read those books. How did he know?

“Matt” my voice broke. I tilted my head at him and sat up as I felt a familiar lump in my throat. With a quivering lip, I broke down, my shaking hands covering my tears.

“Oh baby, c’mere,” he put the things down and quickly pulled me into his chest. His grip on my back was firm yet not hard enough to hurt me, but to reassure me that he was there. He rocked us back and forth as I sobbed into him, placing sweet kisses on the top of my head and whispering comforting words that only made me want to cry even harder.

He was the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. My blessing and curse. Those ocean blue eyes of his that pierced through my soul and filled me with strength were the same ones that made me cry the most because I loved him. And love doesn't come without pain, or at least that's what I knew.

“Talk to me, y/n” he mumbled against my hair, his body still moving back and forth with me still clinging on the fabric of his shirt for dear life.

“I just-,” I sniffed and pulled out of his cozy embrace and wiped my eyes, “I hate this” I embarrassingly admitted.

“I'm sorry, I thought you'd like it I'll get you-“

“No! No, I didn't mean your gift!” I shook my head. I truly didn't. It was in fact the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. And also the first time I ever got flowers, something I always wanted to be given.

“I mean my birthday. I despise it” I chuckled at how pathetic I sounded. Matt's expression did relax at my confession but confusion was obvious in his face.

“Why?” He breathed. I looked up at him to meet his gaze that was already on me, soft and loving.

“It doesn't matter,” I tried to wash away his concern but it didn't work.

“It matters to me,” he shrugged, “I want to help you, baby. But in order to do that, I need to understand you first and I cannot do that if you don't talk to me” he simply said.

“And I don't want to hurt you,” he continued, “but I will unwillingly do that if you don't tell me what hurts you. It's like stepping on a minefield; how would I know where to safely step if I don't know where the mines are?”

“I don't want you to get scared and walk away” I choked on a sob. Matt tilted his head at me with a sad smile on his lips.

“You will not, I promise. You're too well tangled in my soul for me to just walk away” he chuckled. I felt my cheeks turn red at his words and bit my lips to fight back a smile that was threatening to form in my face. He grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers, his thumb drawing lazy circles on my flesh, an act of reassurance and encouragement.

I did trust Matt. Hell, I trusted him more than I trusted my own self. I knew I had to talk to him about it. I loved him. He had to know.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I spoke with a trembling voice that was almost as quiet as a whisper.

“Ever since I was 12 I've hated that day. Before I hit 18, I didn't want to celebrate my existence because I simply didn’t want to exist,” I trailed off with my gaze locked in our touching hands, “I was so sure that I wasn't going to make it till then, but here I am, I guess” I forced a laugh but it soon faded.

“It just doesn't feel real, you know? And I don't mean that in a good way. I feel like a coward,” I breathed while a few more teardrops fell, “it was honestly kind of like a goal of mine, not turning 18, which I obviously failed to accomplish,” I shook my head in disappointment, “my birthday just reminds me of those feelings and it just triggers me, I suppose. And now that I turned 19 and I'm still here... it's just a lot of feelings I can't quite describe. And apart from that, why would I celebrate a life I never wanted?” I tried to joke but I didn't earn a laugh from Matt. Scared of his reaction, I slowly lifted my head to look at him with guilt.

His eyes were watering, his forehead creased and an obvious frown on his lips he didn't even try to hide from me. He just stood there in silence for a minute or two, eyeing every feature that my face had to offer, before enveloping his shaking hands around me once more. This time, however, his grip was harsh and his whole body was trembling. He held me so tightly that I could barely breath, his grasp against my skin so tense I was sure it would leave marks. This time, it wasn't me he was trying to comfort, but himself. Knowing that his pure and genuine heart couldn't take that much hurt, I placed my own arms around him securely.

“It's okay, baby” I repeated over and over again as my fingers played with his dark hair. His face nuzzled in the crook of my neck where I felt wetness in. I hated seeing him like this, but I understood that it was a lot to take in. His reaction was more than understandable.

“I'm so sorry, y/n” he pulled away with wet cheeks.

“It's not your fault, you don't have to apologize.”

“Yeah but,” he choked, “it isn't fair! You were a child, you shouldn't be feeling this way!” he reasoned.

“I know, but I managed, didn't I? I'm still here,” I wiped away his tears with my thumbs. He just looked at me and nodded. His gaze mirrored his troubled thoughts. I could tell it hurt him; hearing the person you love the most admitting such things isn't an easy thing.

“I just…,” he trailed off, “I just want you to know that I'm glad you're still here. You may not believe what I'm about to say, but you do make a difference in this world. You make a difference in my world. The fact that there's probably a version of myself out there that doesn't have you in his life makes me feel sorry for him, because you truly are a gift, baby” Matt spoke.

“I promise you, I'll make it feel better. I'll find a way to make the pain go away, I swear,” he cupped my face and brought it so close to his I felt his hot breath on my skin. Not giving me a chance to speak, he pulled me against him. I let out a sigh before allowing myself to relax under his touch and comfort.

“You're so strong” he murmured against my hair. I laughed.

“I'm not strong, Matt, I am weak. If I were strong, I wouldn't be here today” I blandly told him and I felt him shake his head violently, obviously disagreeing with my statement.

“D-Don't. Don't say that. Please, don't say that. You are strong. Despite everything, you're here. You may not have chosen to stay, but you did. You're strong for not caving in and letting your mind control you, you're strong for handling all of these big and dark emotions ever since you were a child, you're strong for telling me. You may not see it, but there is so much strength in you, y/n, that inspires others. I know you don't get what I'm saying, but I also know how draining it is to feel like this. If anything, you're strong,” he argued and pulled away from the embrace to look me in my eyes. Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn't give myself enough credit for it.

“I'll get you help. I'll find a therapist for you, the best one there is. I’ll pay for your sessions and everything you need. And I'll find ways to help you myself, I'll do my research, read books…I'll do anything for you, angel. I just want to make sure that you're safe. And if there's anything that I do that makes you feel unloved by me or hurts you in any way, please tell me. The last thing I want you to do is question my love for you” he said with puppy dog eyes.

Matt was a sincere and emotional man, two traits that made me fall in love with him instantly. His sympathy was something I've never came across with before meeting him. He was truly an angel sent from heaven.

“Thank you” I smiled sadly at him.

“I am here for you, baby. I will always be. No matter what happens, you'll always have me, I promise. I love you,” he breathed and kissed me with so much passion that made my head spin.

End of flashback

That was the day we muttered that phrase to one another. To some it may seem too soon, but I don't care. I needed to hear it and I needed to hear it from him. And I also felt the need to say it back because I did love him. Probably the most I've ever loved anything and anyone in this world. That was also the day I showed him my scars. Before that, I refused to get naked in front him even to just change my clothes, because I was scared of how he was going to react. Even though I wanted to have sex with him and show him how much I craved him and his body, my fear always consumed me. He didn't put any pressure on me though, he was very respectful of my boundaries and he made sure that I knew he wasn't upset or angry at me for not wanting to do anything sexual with him.

“You could tell me to never touch you again and I'd still feel the same way about you,” Matt used to tell me, and still does, whenever I apologize for not being in the mood to sleep with him. How could I not fall for this boy?

So here we are, a year later in our shared bedroom in his and his brothers' apartment taking in each other’s presence. Our legs intertwined, my face buried deep into his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. Matt was a peaceful sleeper and in my opinion, he looked the most beautiful when he was asleep. He looked so comfortable and relaxed, his cheek squeezing against the soft pillow that supported his head and mouth slightly agape. Even in his sleep, though, he made sure to keep me close to him. He was always hugging me or touching my hand which I dearly appreciated. Whenever I woke up before him, I just stayed there and admired him until his eyes opened, and that's what I'm doing right now.

Lifting my head up, I look at his dreamy face. I smile fondly at the sight in front of me and I can't help myself but place soft, loving kisses on his features, neck and collarbones. I hear him shift under me, his body slowly stretching, which indicated his awakening. I look back up at him again and see him sheepishly smile down at me, a smile that never fails to make my heart jump and flutter.

“Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up” I apologise softly.

“Mhm” he hums and brings me back against his body. I giggle at his clinginess but allowed myself to turn into a paddle under his touch and loving embrace. He rubs my back and caresses my hair before he places tender kisses on my forehead and lips.

“Happy birthday, my love” he wishes me in between pecks, making me smile against his pinkish, plump lips. I kiss him back passionately.

“How are you feeling?” Matt whispers as he pulls away, resting his face just a few inches away from mine. I smile at him. A genuine, gentle smile.

“I'm good” I whisper back.

“Yeah?” his lips take an upturn curve.

“Yeah,” I breathed before kissing him again. I hover on top of him with my body still laying beside him though, and his hands reach to take a hold of the sides of my face. We both smile into the kiss which ends up being interrupted by the door bursting open, making me jump.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Nick and Chris exclaim at the same time. They're even wearing birthday hats. These kids. I look down at Matt whose face was filled with pure shock. I laugh.

“Thank you, boys” I shoot them a toothy smile.

“Oh wait, I forgot the cake!” Chris says before running back to the kitchen. I look at Nick who stared at his younger brother in disbelief.

“I'm so sorry, I told them not to do-“

“Baby, it's okay,” I whispered, “I'm okay.”

“I'm so proud of you,” Matt says softly before sitting up and placing a kiss on flustered my cheek.

“Here! Make a wish!” Chris says as he came back with the cake which, in reality, was just a few pancakes with a lit up candle on top.

All those years, I thought that birthday wishes weren't a thing until I got blessed with those 3 boys. I don’t know what or who brought them to me, if it was God’s or any other celestial’s work, but I thanked them every night for allowing me to have such people around me. I was so grateful for them and for once in a while, I was grateful to be alive.

I was grateful for not giving up when I felt like it was the only way out. I was grateful for not losing the battle because if I had, I wouldn't have met them and I wouldn't know what love and happiness felt like. I couldn't be able to give little me the love she deserved. She wouldn't have met Matt, she wouldn't have felt the butterflies every time he landed his eyes on her which indeed did tickle her stomach, she wouldn't have known how unconditional love felt like. The thought of that made me uneasy. I couldn't take that away from her and I was more than happy I didn't.

I look around me and cherish this moment. Yes, there is still a lot of healing I need to do still, but I'm getting there. With the help of my friends, I will get there. Their smiling faces give me strength everyday to keep going. And so before blowing out the candle, I make a wish. I wish for all the people who feel just like I once did to get better. I wish for their pain to vanish and be replaced with happiness and peace. I wish for them to realize that their existence matters more than they think. And most importantly, I wish for them to not lose the battle because yes, life may be tough, but they're tougher. Because they are needed and beautiful and unique. Because they deserve a happy ending. Because they do make this world a better place just by being in it.

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star-suh · 8 months

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not-so-opposites attract

na jaemin x male reader

cw: some bit of chest worshipping, nipple play, rough sex, enemies with benefits, porn with no plot, breeding, a sparkle of dacryphilia, kinda 3rd person pov at the final sentence.

an: this was rushed and short, idk what i did but i love jaemin and his chest so….

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everyone knew m/n and jaemin were mortal enemies since day 1 at university, they're both smart and started to compete against each other to always be the first. bit not everyone knew that they been fucking behind doors like bunnies. it all started in one of they usual bickering "aww does baby y/n gonna cry again for not being the number 1 again" mocked jaemin, "shut the fuck up stupid asshole, I will never gonna cry for something related to you… you can't make me cry dumbfuck" replied y/n angrily… "I'm sure I can make you cry dumbo" jaemin said while pushing y/n's shoulder to the back, "bet" said y/n with a mocking smile.

—

"come on, don't hold back those pretty tears y/n, let them out" jaemin teases y/n while pounding hard his ass. y/n was doing everything that has never been done before to don't cry and hold back his moans, but it was impossible with jaemin's big dick brushing his prostate, making him roll his eyes for the delicious sensation…

y/n decided to just give into the pleasure and just enjoy the exciting sight he has in front of him. "yes, that's a good boy" jaemin kissed and licked y/n's tears and the kisses him "fuck it jaemin, fuck me hard and deep, make me cry for the pleasure" y/n demanded and jeamin decided to just follow the order and started thrusting at an animalistic pace. meanwhile y/n's stare was fixed onto jaemin's chest looking how big is it and how it bounces everything he pounds him… "like what you see?" jaemin asked you looked at him and it was the most perfect view you have ever seen, jaemin looking directly at you with his pretty eyes, covered in sweat and showing you that goddamn perfect smile, y/n just nodded, "then do something with them" winked the older.

y/n starts to just squeeze the older's chest, pinching his nipples and sucking on them "fuck you're pecs taste so good jaemin, I might get addicted to it" moaned the younger sucking on one nipple with playing with the other, "you can have them every time you want nasty boy, and i am gonna keep excersing them to keep 'em plump just for you" replied jaemin and immediately kissed y/n.

both keep fucking for more than an hour, y/n abused hole was red, gaping and oozing with jaemin's cum "it feels so good inside you fucker i might get addicted to it too" whispered jaemin who was laying on top of y/n after pulling out his dick, "you can have it anytime you want too I guess…" whispered y/n too who was kissed by jaemin. both fighting for dominance with their tongues, a battle that obviously jaemin won, drool falling for their mouth while they kissed so desperately… "I hate you so fucking much jaemin" said y/n, "i hate you too fucker" smiled jaemin kissing y/n's forehead "now let's get clean and keep fighting, sex with you is better when your angry, you know" the older winked making y/n blush "stop talking bullshit motherfucker" the younger punched jaemin who helped y/n getting dressed.

since that day the pair keeps fucking while they still swear they hate each other… maybe at the end of the day they're both dumb because they don't know that what they feel is the other 4-letter word…

#na jaemin #na jaemin x male reader #jaemin x male reader #jaemin smut #male reader #kpop x male reader smut #kpop x male reader #smut #male reader smut #nct x male reader #nct dream x male reader #nct dream smut #nct smut

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braxlrose · 11 months

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BILL IS SOO FINE IM SCREAMING

YALL THE MODERN BILL FIC IS HERE!!! IM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT :)

MODERN BILL MODERN BILL MODERN BILLLLLLLL

tw: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it lmao), swearing, hair pulling?? oral (f!r! receiving), idrk what else

englisch isn't my first language so I hope this isn't bad, Idk if i messed up any words

"Ich hab dich so sehr vermisst.."

It was 10 PM at night and you had been invited to a wedding by some friends. It was so beautiful and elegant. There was a big dance floor, flowers everywhere and little white lights hung along the walls. The wedding ceremony itself was now over but you stayed to dance and indulge in some of the food. Everything was going amazing until you saw him. Bill.

You haven't seen him since 2011. He looked so amazing. His hair was now blonde and more wavy than it used to be and he had more facial hair. Him and Tom were both there together, but Bill didn't seem to be with anybody. Which made relief flush over you. It probably shouldn't have, considering you two broke up 3 years ago. You didn't realize how much you missed him until you saw his beautiful face.

He was over at the bar sipping a martini while Tom was off with his date. He had on a plain white button up and some black pants. His sleeves were rolled up slightly so you could see the tattoos on his hand and arms much better. You honestly looked like a stalker. You had been staring at him for at least 10 minutes now. I mean, what were you even supposed to do. Just go up to him and say hi? Yeah, that's actually exactly what you are supposed to do. Which leads to where you two are now.

Your arms were wrapped around his neck and his hands were on your waist. He was quite a bit taller than you, so your head was resting against his chest. The two of you were slow dancing to some song the band was playing. It was so relaxing and peaceful. He was so warm and you felt like you could feel every inch of him as his hands laid softly on your hips. He smelled of cedar and tea tree oil. Probably a new deodorant he got. But this was the greatest feeling in the world.

Or so you thought.

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"This is really nice.." You said to him, trying to breathe in his scent without him noticing.

"Yeah..it is. I've missed you. A lot." He said to you, rubbing his fingers in circles on your waist. What he said made you smile, big. He missed you too. Just as much as you missed him.

"I'm really sorry how everything went down when we broke up..I didn't mean for it to end-"

"Don't worry about it," He lifted your head off of his chest by holding your chin and looked down at you smiling, "I forgive you. You're one of my best friends. I could never stay mad at you forever." Tears pricked in your eyes and your bottom lip poked out a bit at his words. He was always so sweet with you..so..so..sweet.

"Oh fuck!" You rushed into the closest closet you could find and tried to compose yourself after you almost ripped your dress. Bill said he'd meet you here in just a minute. You took off your shoes and threw them in the corner and began to pull down your tights, when someone opened the door. You looked over at the opening like a deer in the headlights. Bill came walking in, chuckling a bit at your demeanor and shut the door, before pushing you against the wall of the closet.

Your lips smashed together. His lips were so soft and tasted like vodka. I guess that's the martini he had. Your thighs were rubbing together like crazy, trying to get some kind of friction when Bill tugged up your dress.

"You're so eager, baby..you want my fingers, hmm?" He teased you, rubbing two of his fingers against your pussy, collecting the wet slick down there.

"I'm the eager one? Remind me which one of us pushed me against a wa- Oh~ my....Bill..." His lips were now all over your clit, licking and sucking. You tried to hold onto a wall as Bill slipped two fingers inside of you. It felt like magic. He was so good. So good at making you feel good. He was so perfect and amazing and his tongue was sooo warm.

A couple tears fell down your cheek as he sucked harsher on your clit and finger fucked you.

"Bill..Oh my god....please.." Your eyes were practically screwed shut and your pussy kept clenching around his fingers. He looked up at you with his eyes, still licking your clit as fast as he could.

"Please what?" He muffled out. Your teeth were clenched and you began to feel a tightening in your stomach. You grabbed his head and pulled it away from your heated pussy.

"I want to cum on your dick." God, you were so filthy. You had streaks of makeup on your face from the tears and sweat was already forming on your forehead.

"Say no more, schatz.." He stood up from his knees and unbuckled his pants to pull out his cock. It was veiny, and so hard. The tip was already leaking pre-cum. You wanted to get down in front of him and suck him off till he couldn't stand anymore but you needed his cock in you, now.

He grazed his hands through your hair and tightened his grip on it, the kisses he gave you were so sloppy. Drool was everywhere and your makeup and his just smeared more and more. He took his hand out of your hair and gripped both of your thighs. You wrapped them around his waist as he thrusted his cock into you causing you to roll your eyes back. Your mouth was agape as he pounded his dick into you slow and hard. It's hard to tell if he just liked it that way or he was trying to tease you. Either way it felt amazing.

His hands roamed your body and both of your guys' breathing became heavier. He pulled your boobs out of the front of your dress and began to pinch and tweak them. He was so fucking good to you. He was so good at fucking you. You had slept with other people after you too were long broken up but nobody was as good as him. Nobody could be as good. His movements, his touch, him. He was like your other half. He was the only one who could ever make you feel the way you do. Alive. At this moment, you couldn't even remember why you two broke up in the first place. All you knew, was that you want him and only him.

He slid two fingers in your mouth as his pace quickened. You sucked on them like your life depended on it and clenched around his dick. Your eyes began to cross as you got closer and closer. His arms were wrapped around your whole body now and his face was hidden in the crook of your neck.

He bit down on your neck as you both came together. Your breathing began to level again and your arms were still wrapped around his neck. You rested your head on his shoulder as you could feel yourself slipping into your tiredness.

#tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel x reader #smut #fluff #bill kaulitz being sexy as hell #bill kaulitz x reader #angst #bill kaulitz smut #tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel fanfics #bill being the little flirty cutie pie he is #bill kaulitz fanfics #modern bill kaulitz

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mrsmikaelsxn · 8 months

Text

ABBA Marathon

masterlist

pairing: father sirius black x daughter reader

warnings: like one curse word, tooth rotting fluff, sirius being an icon, literally just a very fun read that i hope has you smiling in your bed

summary: you meet sirius, play chess with sirius, and have an abba singing and dance party with sirius (sirius meeting his daughter post azkaban - requested by anon)

a/n: im so obsessed with this idk i wish sirius was my dad, also sorry this has been in my inbox for so long

song: waterloo - abba

Being Sirius Black's daughter was quite tiring. But also thrilling. Especially since it was your third year when he escaped Azkaban.

Your best friends are Harry, Hermione, and Ron. You couldn't have asked for better ones.

With the rumors of Sirius coming after you and Harry, people had been cold towards you because of your father, not that you could control who your father was.

Right now you were outside, taking a walk in some fresh air. Suddenly a dog comes up to you and barks once. "Why, hello there," you coo and bend down. The dog happily wags his tail and jumps onto her. "Aww, you're so cute!"

You pet the dog, who leans into your hand. "You are very skinny," you frowned. "Follow me, I'm sure Hagrid has some food I can give you."

As you two head down, you get near the Whomping Willow. As you pass by, the dog suddenly spins and before you could blink the dog was biting your pants, tugging you to the tree.

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Dog, but these are new pants." You then get very close to the tree, "Er- I don't think this is a good idea," you say nervously as the branches of the tree start to move.

The dog looks up in alert and quickly tugs you into some type of hole that they slid down into. "Ah!" The dog jumps up and pulls on your pants again. "Where are we going?"

Finally, you come into an empty abandoned room. "What is this place..."

You walk over and pick up a dusted book, blowing on the cover before putting it back down. You turn around and her eyes go wider than they've ever been. "AHH!" you scream.

"AHH!"

"SHH!"

You cover your mouth and stare at the one and only Sirius Black.

Your father.

"What the fuck," you whisper to yourself. "Oh my Merlin, I'm too young to die! I- I haven't gotten to slap Malfoy yet, I haven't been able to prank Snape! I ha-"

"Prank Snape?" Sirius pipes up.

"I'm going to die. Oh, Godric," you pace while frantically whispering to yourself. "I'm in the same room with Sirius Black, alone."

He frowns at being called by his name instead of Dad, which it should be.

"Relax, love, I'm not going to kill you."

You spin and face the man, "You're not?"

"No."

"Then why am I here? For giggles and a tea party?"

"One, you're about to find out. Two, I don't like tea," Sirius makes a face.

"Huh, me neither. Now, go on, tell me why I'm in an abandoned room with an escaped convicted murderer," you cross your arms.

"I'm not a murderer. I'm innocent, I swear."

You narrow her eyes, "How so?"

"Well, it started when I first got to Hogwarts..."

You wipe the tears from under your eyes, "That is the saddest thing I have ever heard."

Sirius waves his hand, "Now that you know what happened, you believe me right?"

"Of course!" You throw her arms around the man, who relaxes into his daughters hold. It's been a long time since he has had human contact.

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid you can't tell anyone about me just yet."

"Why?! If I tell them you're inno-"

He smiles sadly, "I'm not so sure they would believe you."

"But-" Sirius shakes his head. You sigh, "Well, are you going to be staying here?"

He nods, "I guess. It's a bit dirty though, if you ask me."

"I can fix that," you grin. He raises his eyebrows in curiosity. You takes out your wand and flick it. The room starts moving and the dust all collects together before flying out the window. The furniture vanishes and new ones appear. Pictures form on the wall and the room cleans up into a brand new, clean room.

"Wow, impressive. Thank you," Sirius says. You nod and flick your wrist again. In the blink of an eye, Sirius is freshly cleaned and looks well taken care of. His eyes almost water at your kindness. "I truly can't thank you enough."

"That's better, isn't it?" You smile proudly at your work. "Oh! You need food," you think for a moment, "I'll just bring you down daily meals."

"I can't ask you to do that, it's too much."

"It's a good thing you don't have to ask. You mentioned your friend... Remus Lupin." Sirius nods and gestures for you to continue, "He's a Professor this year... anyway, is he a..."

"A...?"

"Werewolf," you say hesitantly.

Sirius' face goes a bit pale, "What makes you think that?"

"His boggart was a moon, and he has lots of light scars."

"Would it change your opinions about him?"

"Not at all! If anything I think it makes him even better." Sirius nods his head. "Yes... he's a werewolf?"

He nods again, "You're a bright witch."

"Thank you," you beam. You looks at your watch, "I have about twenty minutes before my friends start looking for me. In the meantime.... Wizard's Chess?"

"Yes! Checkmate!" You jump up from your seat in excitement. "I won!"

"That's not fair! You only won because I'm rusty," Sirius crosses his arms and sinks into the couch.

"Sure, sure. Rematch tomorrow?" you ask.

"Rematch tomorrow," you two shake hands and you go to the exit.

"I'll bring you some food in a little while."

"Bye, darling," he waves, watching you leave.

A few weeks later, you were on your daily trip to see Sirius. You snuck in through the Whomping Willow, you also learned how to avoid the branches.

"Hello?!" you shout.

"Over here!"

You follow his voice and see him digging through a closet. "What are you looking for?"

"I- that's... a good question." He stands up and clears his throat, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It has come to my attention that you recently made an appearance in the castle."

"Mhm."

"And you didn't inform me about it beforehand," you gives him a blank stare.

"I wanted to, but it took a while to plan and I wanted it to be a surprise," he grins with jazz hands.

"You do realize that I could have helped you in, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to risk you getting in trouble," he frowns.

"I appreciate your concern," you salute him and he does it back with a chuckle.

"What's in the bag?" He nods to the one hanging on your arm.

"This, my furry father-"

"That was a horrible joke."

"-Is a record player!" You excitedly pull it out of the bag and place it on a table.

"A what?"

"A record player. It plays music. Want to see?!"

"As if I would say no to music."

You reach into the bag and take out some vinyl records. "I picked ones that I think you would enjoy best. There is a supergroup that I thought you would really like. They're called ABBA. They're one of my favorites."

You set up the record player and place one of the vinyls in. You grin at the man as you hit the play button.

"YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN JIVE! HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE! SEE THAT GIRL, WATCH THAT SCENE! DIGGING THE DANCING QUEEN!"

You and Sirius continue to shout the lyrics into your fake microphones as you hop around the room with the song blasting. When the room was first set up by you, you placed several privacy and silencing spells, so you two didn't have to worry about anyone hearing anything.

"YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN! YOUNG AND SWEET, ONLY SEVENTEEN-"

"GIMME, GIMME, GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT! WON'T SOMEBODY HELP ME CHASE THE SHADOWS AWAY?" you sing while bouncing on the couch.

"GIMME, GIMME, GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT! TAKE ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS TO THE BREAK OF THE DAY!" Sirius continues as he walks and dances as if he were on a stage.

"MAMMA MIA, HERE I GO AGAIN! MY, MY, HOW CAN I RESIST YOU?"

"MAMMA MIA, DOES IT SHOW AGAIN! MY, MY, JUST HOW MUCH I'VE MISSED YOU?"

Sirius and you hold hands as you jump together and flip your hair with matching goofy grins.

"YES, I'VE BEEN BROKENHEARTED! BLUE SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED!"

"WHY, WHY DID I EVER LET YOU GO?"

"BUT NOW IT ISN'T TRUE! NOW EVERYTHING IS NEW!" you grab your wand to create two pairs of light up sunglasses, you toss one to Sirius and you both put them on.

"AND ALL I'VE LEARNED HAS OVERTURNED! I BEG OF YOUUU!" Sirius sings.

"DON'T GO WASTING YOUR EMOTION! LAY ALL YOUR LOVE ON MEEEE!" you shout together.

With a flick of your wrist, you - much to Sirius' surprise - somehow managed to have a disco ball with neon lights come from the ceiling.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sit in the Gryffindor common room.

"I wonder what she's doing right now," Harry looks thoughtfully.

"She's been leaving a lot recently," comments Hermione, biting nervously on her nail.

"I hope she's okay," says Ron, "Sirius Black could be out there."

"LAST NIGHT I WAS TAKING A WALK ALONG THE RIVER, AND I SAW HIM TOGETHER WITH A YOUNG GIRL!"

"AND THE LOOK THAT HE GAVE HER MADE ME SHIVER! 'CAUSE HE ALWAYS USE TO LOOK AT ME THAT WAY!" Sirius grabs your hand and twirls you, causing you to laugh.

"AND I THOUGHT, MAYBE I SHOULD WALK RIGHT UP TO HER AND SAY 'AH-HA-HA, IT'S A GAME HE LIKES TO PLAYYY!" you and Sirius shimmy dance to each other.

You jump and freeze before breaking out in another dance and sing the chorus. "LOOK INTO HIS ANGELEYES, ONE LOOK AND YOU'RE HYPNOTISED! HE'LL TAKE YOUR HEART AND YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE!"

"SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME!"

"I TRY TO CAPTURE EVERY MINUTE!"

"THE FEELING IN IT, SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME!"

"DO I REALLY SEE WHAT'S IN HER MIND, EACH TIME I'M CLOSE TO KNOWING, SHE KEEPS ON GROWING!"

"SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME!"

"SOMETIMES I WISH THAT I COULD FREEZE THE PICTURE!"

"AND SAVE IT FROM THE FUNNY TRICKS OF TIME!"

Sirius and you wrap an arm around each other's waist as they sway to the music.

"SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERSSSSS!"

Sirius then starts pretending like he's playing the guitar to the music making your giggle.

You and Sirius fall back, panting, onto the couch. Sirius turns to you and gives you a high five.

"Oh my Merlin! That was the most fun I had in forever!"

"Me too, kid. Thank you. I don't know the last time I felt like that."

"You're welcome," you bumps his shoulder. "Oh! And you can keep everything, I have my own."

"Really?"

"Mhm, I'll bring you more vinyls I have. We can have more singing and dancing parties like this."

"I'm looking forward to it." He looks at a watch you got him, "I think it may be time for you to head back."

You look in a mirror on the wall, "My hair is messy from flipping it."

"I can help you with it, if you want," he smiles at you.

"Really?" He nods. "Thanks!"

Sirius gets up and grabs a brush, you turn on the couch so he is behind you as he brushes through your hair. "I'm going to try to do that braid you taught me."

"Here's a hair tie," you take one off your wrist.

He struggles at first but manages to do a good, tight braid. "Done!" Sirius claps his hands.

You look in the mirror, "Wow, you have a good teacher."

He shrugs, "Meh, she's alright." You slap the back of his head, "Okay, okay! Not the hair! Okay, I have the best teacher."

You nod happily and grab your bag, "Bye, Dad."

"See you soon, y/n," he winks.

263 notes · View notes

biisexualemma · 7 months

Text

happier (pt.6). rafe cameron

word count: 3.8k

warnings: unwanted passes, bit of angst, mostly fluff

requested: i guess soo

plot: you and rafe are figuring out this dating thing

a/n: it has literally been 6 months since i last updated series… whoops… i have some much written for this series but it’s all in bits and pieces and i’m trying to rewrite bits / put stuff together and it’s taking a minute lol but anyway enjoy the 2 people who will read this lol

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / masterlist

texting

bold = rafe

italics = y/n

hey

very ominous first text rafe

all i said was hey

exactly

and it's you so

what else am i supposed to say?

idk

'hey y/n'

'hi how are you?'

''sup what you up to?'

you'd rather me start the conversation with 'sup'

it's less serial killer-y so maybe

alright next topic please

YOU texted me rafe

yeah and you said i sounded like a serial killer so excuse me if i'm a little wounded

didn't think that was even possible mr big-shot kook prince

please never call me that again

because it's too on the nose?

you always this annoying?

nah i just like making things difficult for you

cuz your life is too easy as it is

you think you're so funny

i know you do too :)

you're still hanging around sooo

your eyes dragged away from your phone screen, and away from where rafe was currently typing out his response, when you heard a honk from outside your house. you peeped out the window and saw the twinkie pulled up outside, lights still on and engine running as they waited for you.

you grabbed your shoes and jacket, still holding onto your phone when another message popped up as you were making your way out of your house to meet your friends.

yeah yeah

just tell me what you're not doing tonight so i can come pick you up

you rolled your eyes at his presumptuousness, a small smile on your lips as you grabbed your keys and closed the door behind you. you texted back as you walked to the twinkie, hardly looking where you were going.

believe it or not i have plans

i don't sit around waiting for you to text me you know

> why not? >:(

you let out a snort, shaking your head as you typed out a response just as you approached the beat up van where sarah and john b were waiting for you. you clumsily climbed into the back, sarah watching you fumble as your fingers and eyes remained glued to your phone screen.

my life does not revolve around you rafe cameron

as much as i'm sure you want it to

yeah i do actually

guess we don't always get what we want

this is a valuable lesson that you're long overdue to learn little trust fund baby

wow

you're actually so mean and for what

yeah i'm not very good at this flirting thing tbh

yeah i got that

yeah? did the serial killer comment tip you off?

amongst other things

ok well maybe i'll just remind you that i think about you more than i care to elaborate on right now

that was better...

you're learning

thank you

i'm trying my best

we'll circle back to that comment at some point though

don't think i'll forget that one

yeah you think about that while you're home alone tonight

wow

wait not like that

don't take it back now that was good

it's not what i meant!!

"what is she grinning about?" sarah quirked an eyebrow, muttering to john b as she watched you trying to buckle up with one hand while you texted with the other.

john b watched you in the rearview mirror, his eyebrows furrowed together slightly. neither of them could recall a time they'd seen you look so giddy, you were always misplacing your phone and now you couldn't tear your eyes away.

sarah gasped softly and john b's eyes quickly darted over to his girlfriend, wide and wondering what she suddenly knew that he didn't.

sarah grabbed john b's arm and shook it a little, all giddy herself now but john b still looked just as confused. "what? what? tell me!" he whined.

"she asked me and kie for advice the other night," she clarified, lowering her voice a little, though you were entirely consumed in your own conversation. john b's eyes were still full of confusion. he didn't understand girls at the best of times but this was beyond his comprehension all together. sarah rolled her eyes playfully. "about a boy."

john b glanced at you for a second before moving back to his girlfriend, shaking his head. "i didn't think y/n was even interested in guys."

"oh just because she didn't fall at your feet john b doesn't mean she doesn't like guys," sarah scoffed, hitting his chest lightly. john b went to defend himself but quickly stopped because he thought she might be onto something.

you suddenly grew aware of your surroundings, realising the twinkie was still stationary. your eyes lifted up from your phone for a second to see sarah biting back a grin and john b staring you out in the rearview mirror.

"uh," you looked around like something was wrong. "are we waiting for something or what? why are we still sitting here?"

"nope," sarah narrowed her eyes at you and you frowned at her, mouth opening slightly in confusion. she looked like she knew things. "c'mon get going, john b."

weird you thought, shaking your head when another message appeared on your phone.

i know what you meant don't worry ;)

no you don't

you'll know what i mean when i actually mean it

tease

shut up

i gotta go rick

who tf is rick

you

i'm rick?

yeah you're rick

i don’t understand

that's your name from now on

at least via text

so if anyone sees these messages they don't get suspicious

that's crazy

i lose my phone a lot it's not that crazy

that's not the crazy part

just play along please?

i'm not ready for people to find out about this yet

whatever this is

what is this again?

that's a question for another time

see you around

- rick

you fell back against the blanket you'd laid out on the grass, eyes immediately falling upon the stars above you. you sighed contentedly, oblivious to the curious eyes that were watching you from beside you.

"you seem happy," jj spoke up from where he was sitting next to you. "what's that about?"

you snorted, your head rolling to the side so you could glance up at him. "what? i can't just be happy?"

he made a face at you, his hand nudging your arm. "you know what i mean," he shook his head. "you've been so tired and grumpy lately, no offence," he said the last part quickly when he saw your face contort into one that looked offended. "you just seemed like normal today. it was nice."

you propped yourself up on your elbows, watching the rest of the gang who'd gone for a quick swim. kie had launched herself onto pope, dunking him under the water and laughing hysterically when he came back up for air looking bewildered. sarah was floating on her back, eyes up at the stars while john b held his hands underneath her so she wouldn't sink down. you didn't feel like swimming after the amount of food you'd eaten so jj decided to sit with you and keep you company.

you shrugged. "i don't know," you could feel jj's eyes watching you. "i just feel more like myself i guess. i don't know why."

it was a bit of a lie. with everything out of the open between you and rafe, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. you thought it'd be hard to lie to your friends about it, but none of them really asked you outright so you didn't find yourself having to lie at all. everything just seemed to be going better for now.

"well i'm glad anyway," he gave you a soft smile. jj was a good friend, and most of the time he played into the reputation he had, but every now and again he would show the other side of him. he was loyal to his core and just wanted to see his friends happy. "you feel like swimming yet?" his lips stretched into a wide grin, nudging your shoulder as he tried to encourage you.

you couldn't help but smile back, he was infectious. you let your head roll back before sitting yourself upright. "fine, c'mon," you lifted your shirt over your head, throwing it at his face. "race you," you quickly jumped up, undoing your shorts as you ran towards the water, only stopping when you got to the edge to pull your shorts off the rest of the way.

jj was racing behind you, not bothering to remove anything other than his shirt as he whizzed past you and threw himself into the water, shoes and all. "cannon ball!" he screamed and pope, kie, john b and sarah all tried to clear out as quickly as they could but he didn't give them much notice before a crashing wave of water soaked them all even more. a chorus of angry jj's followed but you couldn't help but laugh before throwing yourself in after him.

—

texting

you awake pretty girl?

hey

y/n

rafe it's late

you asleep?

fast asleep yeah

that's why i'm txting you right now

come to the party

rafe it's 1 am i'm with my friends

still?

haven't they had enough of you

rude

i mean they're hogging you

how old are you?

ditch em c'mon

i'm more fun anyway

i'm gonna bet you're drunk

or high

and?

doesn't change anything

still wanna see you

you always this clingy with girls?

mmm funny

you know it's just you

you think i'd be texting you at this party if it wasn't just you

maybe no ones caught your eye yet

yeah you have

so get your ass over here or i'm coming to get you

relentless

you love it

hmmm

just come and get me

everyone will be asleep by the time you get here

on my way

can you drive?

'course i can

ok but are you sober enough?

don't worry about it

rafe

i'm good i promise

swear?

swear

half an hour later and you'd sneaked out of john b's house unnoticed and were sitting in the passenger seat of rafe's car. last time you were in this seat he was driving you home from a party, and now you were going to a party... with him.

"hey," he mumbled as you secured your seatbelt, his eyes raking over you, smile on his lips.

"hey yourself," you chirped, still pretty awake considering the late hour, you were used to running off no sleep most of the time. you noticed him staring at you instead of starting the car and driving. "what?"

"you look really pretty right now."

you glanced away from him, feeling your cheeks grow warm from the compliment. "shut up and drive, rafe," you mumbled, meeting his eyes quickly as he shook his head and breathed out a laugh.

"yes ma'am," he did as you said, driving you to the other side of town, to a house you didn't recognise but was probably four times bigger than your own. you felt a wave of anxiety all of a sudden when rafe parked the car and got out. he appeared again on the passengers side where you still sat, seatbelt on.

he opened the door, leaning on the frame of the car and ducking down to see you sat still. "c'mon," he urged but you quickly shook your head.

"this is a bad idea," you blurted out, eyes shifting to meet rafes. "i don't think i should go in there— definitely not with you."

rafe, for a split second, looked wounded but he quickly played it off. "you're overthinking it."

"rafe, your friends hate me," your lip involuntarily slipped into a small pout, your eyes not moving from his. "i can't just go to a kook party, when i hate kooks and they hate me."

your eyes moved down to your thigh where rafe had moved his hand to sit against your skin. you gulped. "i'm a kook and i don't hate you," he reassured, giving your thigh a squeeze before shifting his hand. "if anyone has a problem with you being here they can take it up with me."

"rafe," your voice came out smaller than you had intended. your mind was pretty focused on his hand and where it was moving, until you heard a click and your seatbelt was retracting. "i don't want you messing things up with your friends over me."

he shook his head, his hand latching onto yours and tugging you out of the passenger seat. he closed the car door and guided you towards the house. "'told you they're not my friends."

"still— won't it make things awkward—"

"oh my god," he turned around, smile on his lips when he came to halt, you nearly bumping into his chest. "i told you i don't care what people think, and i really don't care what my friends think."

he let go of your hand, moving his hands to either side of your face. your breath caught in your throat when he moved his face directly in front of yours. he squished your cheeks together, his stomach churning when you looked up at him with your big, nervous eyes.

"c'mon," he urged again. "you'll be fine s'long as you're with me," he offered you a reassuring smile, hands slipping from your face, his arm moving to sit on your shoulders, pulling you close into him. "you're good, ok?"

you took his word for it, trusting him in that moment that everything would be fine as long as you stayed with rafe.

—

"do you want another drink?" rafe hummed the question to you, his fingertips grazing the skin of your arm, before moving back down to sit snug on your waist. his eyes were looking up at you from where you sat on his lap.

you had relaxed somewhat since you got here, making yourself comfortable on rafes lap after he insisted that no one was watching, nor cared. you took his word for it and he wasn't wrong, the people at this party were too high or drunk to care who's lap you were sitting on.

you shrugged, glancing at your empty cup. you hadn't drank much, it was already late and you didn't feel like having a hangover tomorrow so you didn't push it. "i could do a water."

"water? sure, i got you," he nodded, repositioning you so you sat back on the sofa while he went on the hunt for water.

you propped your head up with your hand, resting your elbow on the arm of the sofa. you peered out the corner of your eye when you felt someone sit next to you.

"hey you're y/n, right?" you turned to face the guy that had sat himself beside you, he wore a small smile on his face, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. you recognised him from around town but not enough to know his name.

"uh, yeah," you gave him a polite, albeit uncomfortable smile before turning away from him, hoping to discourage him continuing to talk to you.

"i think i've seen you around the club," he carried on, not picking up on anything. you nodded, pursing your lips. "i'm alex."

he held out his hand for you to shake, you looked down at it in almost disbelief but shook it still to be polite. "cool," you said with a twinge of sarcasm.

"sorry if this is forward— i just think you're really pretty— i've been watching you for a while—"

"you've been watching me?" you repeated his words, your brows furrowing slightly.

he let out an awkward laugh. "not in a stalker-y way— i just noticed you is what i meant."

"sure," you nodded. "i'm kinda here with someone else though. sorry," you tried to let him down easy, with another small smile despite your discomfort.

"ok well you're sitting here alone," he breathed out a laugh, as if he'd caught you in a lie.

your smile drooped a little. "he's getting me a drink. not that i need to explain myself."

he huffed, seeming to grow agitated with you. "you could just say you're not interested instead of coming up with a lame excuse."

your mouth hung open slightly. "the truth actually— not that i even owe you that but sure whatever."

"last time i try talking to a fucking pogue," he muttered under his breath before picking himself up and walking away. "not even that pretty," he muttered under his breath.

you sat for a couple minutes in silent disbelief, blinking a few times before pushing yourself up off the sofa and beginning your search for rafe. you'd had enough of this party and he was your ride home.

you finally found him in the kitchen on the other side of this humongous house, filling up a cup with some water. you approached from behind him, feeling his body stiffen when he felt your hands snake around his torso.

"hey," you felt him relax slightly when you spoke, realising it was you holding onto him. he turned to face you, your hands gripping the shirt he was wearing as he looked down at you.

"oh hey," he mumbled, you were standing pretty close but your eyes shifted about the room. "what's up? i was just coming to bring you—"

"can we go now, please?" you cut him off quickly, eyes moving back to his pleadingly. his brows furrowed a little when he saw your anxiety-ridden expression again.

"you're good here," he spoke in a hushed voice, setting aside the cup in his hand so he could move his hands to your waist. "we're good."

he tried to reassure you but it wasn't enough, you wanted to go home, you didn't want to see another self-entitled kook tonight (excluding the one in front of you).

you shook your head, adamant, "no— rafe— i want to leave."

his grip on you tightened a little. "did something happen?" his brows knitted together slightly, standing up a little straighter.

"no," you shook your head quickly. "i just want to go— rafe— please—"

"ok, ok," he rooted for his car keys in his pocket, his free hand grabbing yours and pulling you out of the kitchen. "we'll go, c'mon."

you followed him out of the party, trailing behind him, he helped you into the passenger seat, even trying to buckle you in until you insisted that you got it and that you were fine.

"i'm sorry," you mumbled after a while of sitting in silence, reflecting on your actions. rafe driving on the quiet roads, not saying a word or looking in your direction. "i didn't mean to ruin your night."

"you didn't," he spoke quietly.

you eyed him up, his hands tight on the steering wheel, eyes locked on the road, lips pulled into a tight line. "i feel like you're mad at me."

"now you wanna talk?"

"you're mad at me."

"i'm not mad at you."

"rafe—"

"i'm not mad at you," he repeated, a little shorter than before. "i just want you to talk to me."

"i am talking to you—"

"you know what i mean," he cut you off again. "i can't help if you don't talk to me."

you were quiet for a second before speaking again. "this guy was rude to me at the party, that's all," you felt his eyes move over to you for a split second. "i felt out of place and wanted to leave."

he thought on it for a minute. "rude to you how?"

you chewed on your bottom lip, not wanting to answer him, partly because you were still mad but mainly because you were kind of embarrassed.

you huffed. "he was trying to hit on me and when i told him no he got all hurt and mean."

rafe was quiet for a minute, he was picking his words and his tone carefully, trying not to let his imagination run wild. "he was mean to you?"

"it's just guys, they get like that— bruised egos you know, kooks are the worst for it," you shrugged. "i didn't want to tell you back then because i didn't want to make it into a big thing or cause a scene. i just wanted to leave, with you."

"ok, but you're fine? did he try anything?" his knuckles were turning white at this point, you found it hard to look away.

you shook your head, but when he looked over at you for a second for confirmation you spoke, "i'm fine. it was just weird and awkward."

he nodded and you were both quiet for a while after that.

you knew rafe was a hot head, you knew he didn't always think before he acted, and maybe you should've just told him what happened straight away but part of you was glad you didn't.

"where am i dropping you off?"

"john b's is fine."

"won't your dad wonder where you are?"

your eyes focused on the road ahead still but you could feel him stealing glances at you. "i already told him i'd be at john b's tonight."

"you sure?" you nodded and so he dropped you back off at the house he'd picked you up from a few hours ago. the sun was just starting to rise, creating just enough light so that you could see his face. he still looked pissed.

you were looking at him with big, tired, bloodshot eyes when he turned his head towards you. your eyelids drooping slightly the longer you focused on him.

"y'promise you're good?" he mumbled.

you nodded. "do you promise you're not angry at me?"

he rolled his eyes, glancing away for a second, the corner of his lip curling upwards softly. "could never be angry at you when you look like that."

"like what? exhausted?"

he hissed softly, shaking his head. he reached his hand out, gripping your chin between his thumb and forefinger, guiding you closer to him. "you're always so fucking pretty," his eyes raked over your face one last time, kissing your forehead before immediately shoving your face away with the palm of his hand. "now get outta' my sight, you're turning me on looking like that."

you snorted, ignoring the way your stomach fluttered at his actions. "you're such a boy," you joked before saying goodnight and hopping out of his car.

you walked up to the house with a small smile on your face, despite the bump in the night, you felt good about where this was going with rafe. you felt positive, giddy and your head was kinda foggy thinking about him.

"y/n?" you stopped in your tracks when you heard your name from his mouth. "was that rafe's car?"

shit.

taglist:

@lail1010

@julielightwood

@dudenhaaa27

@swiftsgirlfriend

@mad-die45

@mk15x

@spicykimchiiii

@777flora

@hey-sunrisee

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riririnnnn · 1 month

Text

So, Hiiragi, Niko and Zantetsu lost.

And we all can correctly predict that it was Zantetsu that was chosen—it was a surprise for me to be honest. I mean, the Nagi trio already had Chigiri with them, so picking up another speed-based player confused me a bit. I have only read that Manga superficially, so I can't say much about Hiiragi but I do think that he was a real good player.

All in all, Niko seemed like a better choice, but I guess we'll get to know why Zantetsu got chosen. Maybe Nagi got nostalgic or something? Lol.

Now, there are 4 members in the Team, and in the match, we'll have Kiyora. Why? Because firstly, Nagi's team was the SECOND team in the second selection to have completed it, so it makes sense that they win again 'cause if they were to lose, then there would make THREE matches in total and that'll delay things, you know.

So now, who is going to be with Kiyora?

An easy prediction is: Karasu, Otoya and Yukimiya.

This prediction makes sense since this trio was the THIRD group to have completed the second selection.

BUT!

These three already have character developments further in the manga, you know. I think, Kaneshiro-san will use Nagi Spin-off as a chance to showcase other side characters like Hiiragi, low-key, came into the table seemingly out of nowhere.

I can't write ALL the possible teams because, haha, that's HELLA lot, so let's take a small dive individually:

1. Himizu Aiki

Team: Third with Karasu, Otoya, Yukimiya.

Bro looks so fucking rad! I mean, his character is too fucking pretty to just be a side character, so I think he could be with Kiyora because that way he'd be in the limelight. Honestly, I want more of him, he is just too gorgeous.

2. Yuzu Haruhiko

Team: Third with Karasu, Otoya, Yukimiya.

He looks like a cutie patootie! I remember one of my Fanfic's reader said that his hair looks like spring onions and I can't unsee, LMAO.

He had been near the focus in some panels during second selection. He, in fact, had a line too when Aryu was asking players to play against them and everybody was refusing, but Anime cut it out—I got a bit mad since he looked adorably funny in the panel.

He has also been seen hanging out with Hiiragi in the background (I'm not quite sure).

3. Tsunzaki Taiga

Team: Fourth with Nanase and Hiiragi.

A good design to be honest. I don't remember much of him, but yeah, he has been near the focus of panels too.

4. Endoji Akira

Team: Fourth with Nanase and Hiiragi.

A HELLA FREAKING COOL DESIGN!

He was present during the match where Shidou got electrocuted and he had some lines too. Idk why but he just seems like a character too good to be thrown out without any screentime.

5. Saramadara Kairu

Team: Fifth with Niko and Hiori.

He actually has a fair amount of details like he is a surfer and is considered pretty intimidating looking by his peers. He was against Isagi, Rin and Shidou during the tryouts too. Would love to see more of him.

6. Ishikari Yukio

Team: Fifth with Niko and Hiori.

Tall af—bro is like 2 metres tall. He was one of those characters about whom something was spoken in the JFU building by Isagi or Kira Idk I don't remember. He had lines too and gave a head pass in a match too.

Looks chill af tho.

7. Nishioka Hajime

Team: Fifth with Hiori and Niko.

He seems like the most probable option because Aomori's Messi, you know. Bro is low-key a meme material in the Fandom tbh.

It seems like the perfect time to showcase his talent which has been hyped up till now. Further, do you remember that Barou, Naruhaya and Nishioka had teamed up and they lost and then Nishi was chosen? What if the choosing team had Kiyora in it?

So it makes perfect sense for Barou to hold a grudge with Kiyora for choosing someone else over him. To add more spice, what if Kiyora had said some outrageous stuffs to Barou? Makes sense!

You getting me, right?

8. Shiguma Kyohei

Team: Sixth with Raichi, Gagamaru and Wanima.

He is canonically a reserved person—that additional time with Chigiri + Saramadara + him. A gentle giant. His character design doesn't stand out much tho. Also, mathematically, two person with that much Team number difference seems really taxing, but I can't say much since Kurona had a rank of 4 too and yet he was in the last team.

9. Tanaka Shingen

Team: Sixth with Raichi, Gagamaru and Wanima.

Appeared in an additional time and in that Blue Lock Bible or something, he was ranked as one of the least appealing boys to girls too.

He seems close to Gagamaru tho.

10. Sokura Tetsu

Team: Seventh with Shidou, Reo, Igarashi and Kurona.

Can't seem to be able to add his pic but he seems rather.. plain looking. That's all. I don't remember him in any panels at all too.

If my mathematics is correct then Niko played like 6-10 matches during second selection. Bro was DONE by the end of it.

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock theory #bllk theory #nagi seishiro #hiiragi reiji #kiyora jin #himizu aiki #yuzu haruhiko #tsunzaki taiga #endoji akira #saramadara kairu #ishikari yukio #nishioka hajime #shiguma kyohei #tanaka shingen #sokura tetsu #雪 ranting

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citysweet · 4 months

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I read a fanfiction of something like this but I genuinely can't remember who, would you write a fic of photographer r? Orrr maybe barber r (because she's always there 😭😭)? Idk I'm lowkey lacking creativity, that's why I don't write lmfao

i was gonna do the barber one but idk shit abt cutting hair so :D

一 very pretty

♡ wc: 724

♡ elisa posts like a 60 yr old but its ok cause its her

you double checked your bag, making sure you had everything you needed. your company had recently sponsored a certain soccer club and you were assigned to their infamous #5.

it was an outdoor scenery on a bridge by the water, so no extra lighting was needed. meaning the rest of your small crew you usually had with you, wasn’t there. you were kind of nervous to be alone with her since you didn't know that much about her.

so when you made it to the designated spot and see her and who you assume is a manager of some sort, your nerves seem to worsen. she's so pretty. her manager smiles at you then waves, leaving you two alone.

your greetings are quiet and awkward before you distract yourself with getting your camera ready. you can't help but notice how nice she looks in her outfit. from the pictures you’ve seen of her, it was very different compared to what she normally wears.

once you're ready, you sling your camera to your hip and motion her over to where you’d take the pictures. she follows closely behind and you tell her to pose how ever is comfortable for her.

but you can't hold in your laugh and she stands with her arms awkwardly by her sides. “try to loosen up a bit, yeah?” she laughs softly and nods, switching positions. however, this one isn't much better than the first.

you giggle, lowering your camera and walking over to her. “um, here, let me..” you trail off, moving behind her and gently grabbing her wrists. you angle them, avoiding her eyes which you can feel on you. once you do look at her, she smiles at you.

if you thought you weren't nervous before, you definitely are now. butterflies in your stomach erupt and you quickly go back to your position, fumbling with your camera. after taking some, you stand next to her, clicking through the ones you took to show her.

you look up for a moment, hoping she's happy with them only to find her looking at you instead. “pretty.” is all she says and you find yourself going red. “the pictures. they're very pretty.” she says turning away, the grass suddenly very interesting.

“ah, it's all you really.” you mutter, pretending to do something important while clicking random buttons. she laughs, “they say the beauty is in the beholder, yknow.”

“i guess you’re the beholder then.” you say, suddenly feeling bold. this time, she's the one going red. and when you actually show her the pictures, she compliments your skills. she watches how flustered you get, quietly thanking her.

before you both know it you’ve taken all you need (along with a couple more cutely awkward touches). the way back to the rest of the staff is a quiet one with the sun setting behind you two on the bridge. “wait,,let me get a picture of you.”

“of me? why?” you ask after hesitating for a moment. “you look pretty.” your little game of blushing hadn't ended, but you were losing badly now. you back up a bit after handing her your camera. your arms perch up against the railing, looking towards your left.

you weren't usually on this side of the lense, but you had some experience. so you assumed your pose was fine. however, elisa thought otherwise. she walks up to you with a hum. her tongue pokes out a bit as she holds your arm, turning you the other way.

just when you think she's done, her fingers softly grip your chin, turning your face towards hers. which is a lot closer than you thought it was. the moment seems to last forever while you look at her before she backs up.

she snaps the photo, a toothy grin on her face once she sees it. “see? very pretty.” she says, flipping the camera to show you. you don't bother looking at the photo, basking in the way she smiled and how the sun seem to hit her just right. you nod, “mhm..very pretty.”

一

once the day was done and after meeting with your crew, you were rather happy to find out you’d be taking photos for her a second time. making sure to act extra clueless if she asks to take pictures of you again.

一 sorry this took so long 😭

#一 citysweet's works #elisa de almeida #elisa de almedia fluff #elisa de almeida x reader #psg #nyx loves elisa #一 nyx's pink era

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amethystina · 2 months

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Oh man!! The latest chapter!!! The angst was angsting, pain was paining, heart is wrenching, tear is falling, it was soooo mean, but do it again!!!

It was the longest chapter and ironically the most painful chapter as well. Have I said how much I love slow burn and angst and this fic hits home everytime?? Likeee woah I just LOVE how this fic is LOOONG , nowhere near close bc that means I get me read it longer lol.

And I feel like I would never be able to appreciate how much hard work you put in Who Holds the Devil.

I am guessing it is now Ga On's turn to pursue Yohan and Oh man I can already imagine how much he is gonna suffer while doing it 😭 or maybe not (bc he tends to be pretty straightforward at times and impulsive as well) but I believe it's gonna be pretty hard bc Gaon has so much shit to get together and Yohan, my man, already gave up (poor him) so gaon trying to persue him or rather seduce his sugar daddy would look very suspicious to him. Nevertheless I am exited to see Gaon try and miserably, comically and hilariously half fail bc he will succeed eventually as Yohan is too much of a loser for Gaon lol. I am excited for future chapters and definitely wouldn't complain about more angst lol.

It was necessary for this to happen, otherwise the story would go nowhere and most importantly Gaon and Yohan would go nowhere, their problems will never be solved. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is crucial to develop in life BUT I would hate it if it happens to me, hope I will be able to get my shits together before that happens ( or maybe it already happened but I am not relizing it or not acknowledging it much like gaon but he is better than me ngl at least he has the courage)

This became a rant about me naur 😭

Lastly I hope you have a great day and things work out for you 💕

Also idk if it's your cup of tea but My Happy Ending kdrama is sooo good and worth giving it a try. It's a psychological suspense drama hehe. I am soo invested in it nowadays so couldn't help recommending you as well 💫

It was a painful chapter, yeah. And I'm both relieved and heartbroken to finally have it out there. As someone who doesn't actually like angst, this chapter was a struggle in more than one way. But it's necessary if I want their relationship to move forward, so here we are.

At this point, writing Who Holds the Devil has sort of turned into a second job, not going to lie. I still enjoy it, make no mistake, but I have to plan all of my other hobbies around it since I feel an obligation to post somewhat regularly. Like, I've been postponing drawing for the past two weeks because I wanted to get this chapter out (that's how long it took to edit, yes) but drawing is the thing that helps the most with my depression symptoms (that have made an unwanted reappearance due to my burnout), so I've been struggling quite a bit. And now all I want to do is draw for a couple of days.

So yeah. I can't lie and say it's not a lot of work, both in terms of planning, writing, editing, etc., but also how it affects the rest of my life. BUT I just love it too much to give up on it ;)

And yes, Ga On will have to be the one to pursue Yo Han now ;) Or, well, eventually. He has to wallow and overthink things a bit first because, well, Ga On. If overthinking things was an Olympic sport, he'd win the gold for sure. But he WILL give Yo Han what he wants in the end, I promise.

In short, the "the only way after hitting rock bottom is up" saying is pretty apt in this case.

There's still hope, so just hang in there :)

I looked at the plot for My Happy Ending but I admit it didn't really catch my attention. But that could be because I don't really watch much right now? I'm too busy writing and drawing. I'm also trying to finish a drama I started ages ago called Mad Dog. Which, let me tell you, it's disorientingly gay for a drama about insurance fraud. But unlike The Devil Judge I'm not sure if they're actually AWARE of how gay it is? (especially since it's from 2017)

But, like, if I had a penny for every time I've watched a drama in which a traumatised, older man brings home a reckless, bratty twink after said twink got injured — under the pretence of protecting him from more harm — only for the twink to start snooping around his house before deciding to charm the dude with home-cooked food and then just doesn't leave I would have two pennies. Which isn't a lot, but it's still weird that it's happened twice.

Also, what the heck do they want me to think when they have these kinds of angles when the two dudes are arguing?

That looks questionable both in and out of context. BUT that could also be because Woo Do Hwan could have sexual tension with a goddamn rock. Rarely have I seen a man with so much "fuck me and find out" energy as his character in this drama.

But the twink also has a romantic plotline with the woman on the team, at the same time as he's living in the older dude's apartment and giving this poor dude all kinds of conflicted feelings because he's a widower who's lived alone since his wife and kid died and suddenly there's someone in his apartment cooking him food, nagging at him when he comes late and drunk etc. etc. Like, bruh. It really sounds like the twink is his new wife? And I am SO CONFUSED because the drama plays it so straight (without the "hint, hint, nudge, nudge" winks that The Devil Judge had) that I'm about to have an existential crisis.

Fellas, is it gay if this is the face you make when you're told you're not actually living with the man who took you home to keep you safe after you almost got murdered but then you accidentally behaved like his concerned and doting wife?

Asking for a friend.

(and don't even get me started on the whole "Bring Your Twink to Work Day" scene)

At this point, I'm half convinced I'm gaslighting myself into thinking this is gay when it's actually just a really heartwarming story about a really deep bromance that I'm too queer to understand.

ANYWAY. Thanks for the rec! But I'm not sure if it's my thing and I'm really bad at watching things right now. But I'm thrilled to hear that you're having so much fun with it! I'm happy for you! :D

And thank you so much for the lovely message 💜

#Amethystina Replies #1-boiledpotato #Who Holds the Devil #Amethystina Writes #I swear #Watching Mad Dog is so very disorienting #Because it's genuinely SO GAY to me #But I've seen no one else so much as mention this #Is it just because the right people haven't watched it?#Or am I going crazy?#Who knows at this point #Sorry that this answer became more about Mad Dog than Who Holds the Devil #It's just been weighing very heavily on me lately xD #I AM SO CONFUSED

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koreanbibliophilegirl · 7 months

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I am so curious about bedrock bros persuasion fic. share? :eyes:

OMG ANTIMONY-MEDUSA???????? o_O

Oh gosh, umm okay!! Hehe😅 Soooooo, basically, it started bc I LOVE LOVE LOVE Jane Austen(I'm not into romance stories, but Jane Austen's humor, and the neat way she handled the romances had me hooked), and Persuasion is one of my favorite Austen works!

Unfortunately, the 2022 Persuasion adaptation wasn't very..... um. Yeah. You can guess.

So that got me thinking about the theme & story of Persuasion. A little wandering of the thoughts, and boom. Bedrock Bros Persuasion AU.

This is gonna get a bit long, be warned:

So basically, Techno's family fostered/adopted Theseus, and the two boys get very close. Except their parents unexpectedly die, and Theseus gets sent off to foster care again while it's arranged for Techno to go live with his uncle Schlatt and cousin Tubbo. Techno would rather stay with Theseus, but ppl tell him Theseus would have a better chance at adoption if he was on his own since he's 11, and Techno is 16. Plus, Schlatt is really busy and doesn't think he could raise another 11-year-old kid. Techno REALLY doesn't want to let Theseus go on his own, but ultimately decides Theseus would be happier with another family(either the foster system is better in this universe, or Techno doesn't know it sucks. I haven't fleshed this bit out very well yet😅).

Theseus takes it about as well as you'd expect him to, and their last few days together are filled with bitter, sour silence.

Timeskip to like 5 years later, at the start of summer. Techno is a 21-year-old college student who's back for summer break, in the small town where he lives. Tubbo talks about the new neighbors who moved in recently, they have two kids, and the younger one, Tommy, is Tubbo's age. They've become fast friends, and the next day, after Schlatt leaves for a week(?)-long business trip, Tubbo takes Techno to meet the neighbors, and, turns out this Tommy Craft kid is Theseus. Theseus- Tommy now- is very much Not Pleased, and since Phil and Kristin invite both Tubbo and Techno to dinner, things are pretty awkward between them. It does NOT help that Wilbur, Tommy's current brother, insists that he and Techno look alike(they do not) and that they're basically twins.

So things are really awkward for Bedrock Bros, especially since Tommy and Tubbo(plus Ranboo) hang out basically every day. Tommy bascially just ignores Techno. Techno is sad obviously, but he doesn't say anything, just silently accepts this is their dynamic now. He doesn't even feel jealousy towards Wilbur. A bit of envy maybe, but he doesn't hold a grudge. After all, he wanted Tommy to have a happier life, and Wilbur clearly makes him happy. He doesn't see any reason to be angry- though he does wish he could have been what Wilbur now is to Tommy.

Then one day, while they're out, Wilbur gets into an accident(I'm thinking car accident, but this fic is still in the plotting process so idk for sure😅), and since Kristin(successful businesswoman) is absent for a few days, Phil is the one to stay with Wilbur in hospital, and Tommy stays with Tubbo overnight. And subsequently, stays with Techno overnight.

Tommy's in a bit of shock. Tubbo is also scared, but he's significantly calmer, and is more concerned about Tommy. Techno, seeing how bad Tommy's doing, starts the comfort routine they had when they were brothers. (He has a different routine with Tubbo. Tubbo and Tommy are different people after all, plus, Tommy's routine is for Tommy alone.)

Later that night while Tubbo's not there, Tommy asks Techno why. He doesn't elaborate, just asks why. Techno thinks he's talking about the comfort routine, & replies that he thought it would help Tommy calm down a little. That's not what Tommy meant though. He meant, why did Techno send him away? (Since he obviously cared/cares about Tommy, if he still remembers their routine down to a T.) Techno replies that he thought Tommy would be happier elsewhere. And Tommy is happy- right? Tommy goes silent for a moment, then slowly replies that yes, he's happy- he loves his family, and the friends he made- but he's not sure if going away made him happier. Because he was already happy. He was happy with Techno, and was heartbroken when he was sent away. And that hurt never really disappeared, even after his new foster family ended up adopting him almost immediately, or after he found a new brother in Wilbur.

Then Tommy (FINALLY) tells Techno he missed him, and Techno tells him he did too. They hug, and after Tubbo joins them they set up blankets and pillows in front of the landline, staking out for the call from hospital.

Late that night/early next morning they get the call, Wilbur's gonna be fine, he's sleeping now.

So yeah. After Wilbur's discharged they all just hang out. Later when Techno is reading in the backyard Tommy comes up and sits next to him. Tommy tells Techno that he'd been thinking, and he doesn't actually wish things had gone differently, since they wouldn't have ever met half of their friends otherwise. Techno concedes he has a point, though he still regrets sending Tommy away. They sit there quietly, watching the summer sun slowly start to set.

...Aaaaaand that's about as far as I've gotten for now haha. I'm gonna have to flesh it out more/fact-check some stuff before I actually start writing it.

Thank you so much for the ask, I had a lot of fun writing this! Cheers💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Have this meme!

#Lilly gets an ask #tommyinnit #technoblade #philza #wilbur soot #tubbo #Lilly writes stuff #sbi #sleepy boys inc #sleepy bois inc #bedrockduo #bedrock duo #bedrock bros

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panelshowsource · 9 months

Text

hahahaha that is so funny i have no idea! interestingly i've found a few things on taskmaster to be taken from japanese and korean game shows, so i guess we're all just sharing the fun :')

martin freeman. obviously. no debate. bosch. next question

anon this is so exciting for you!!! we all wish we could watch tm for the first time again!!! hehehe

you may be pleased to know s04 is a great fan favourite, as is...most of the first five series 🥹 i have a ridiculous soft spot for s02, which is pretty tragic since it was so short. in the beginning, in general, the contestants didn't quite understand the full potential of the format, didn't realise all of the lateral thinking they could do, didn't try or want to push the rules — so there's something just so stupid about it, like they really just let alex push them around and laugh at them, and that was so funny. now, there are a lot more rules, certain elements can be tired, the writing team has to work hard so it's not formulaic, etc. still an amazing programme, in HUGE parts thanks to 1) alex and 2) their editor rachel (we stan!!!), but the wide-eyedness of the earliest series are unbeatable in some regards imo. that said, we've had some great recent series, 14 being the the most recent fan fave imo!

btw don't forget to watch the nye and champion of champions specials if you're not already!! they're so silly heh junior taskmaster is also coming up!!

i watched the first series of the nz version recently and i just...idk i may be a purist, but it's been hard for me to get into it. the contestants are really great

— except for, you know...you know what. now i can say it. this is my time to say it. i am so angry about a grown white man in all red and these disgusting THIN little 🤢flip flops🤢

like how dare you wear those abominations on your feet. how dare you make me look at this. anon you're a kiwi so maybe you know this man and maybe next time you see him at the supermarket let him know panelshowsource from tumblr is so mad at him istg. i am genuinely fuming sfhdfkgrd —

but it was a bit predictable, especially with paul not finding his own character right off the bat. that said, i hear it gets even better with series 2 so i need to try it! otherwise, people seem to like the denmark version as well! i want to try that one out :)

i think ed has proven in over ten episodes of the podcast that he makes the utmost effort to use mae's pronouns; i can only recall noticing a slip-up once so imo it's exceptionally rare. mae has also commented on this directly and is very understanding to people who are still adjusting to the language. that said, i am sorry if ed's mistakes made you uncomfortable and if you want to shoot them an email with a suggestion then i don't why you couldn't/shouldn't. that said, i don't think you need to be concerned there's any maliciousness or laziness on the podcast's part because it really does seem they care x

ugh i can only HOPE and PRAY and DREAM and FANTASTISE we get miles on tm actually let's all do a collective sigh of disappointment that we couldn't get miles/frankie on the same season...

i'm usually not one for making predictions because i'm just so remarkably wrong so much of the time, but in my mind there are only two routes for miles: he'll either speedrun the entire thing dara ó briain style

— hold that thought did you guys know one of alex's sons is called dara? i just learned that the other day and i was like wow. okay back to the sentence i was writing —

or he'll flop in the most paddington bear way à la john kearns. i don't see a middle of the road for our guy. interestingly, i just listened to the tm podcast episode with the show director andy devonshire, and he and ed were saying that taskmaster isn't a place for characters: that you come into the show and end up having to be yourself (hence why ed was a competitive maniac muahaha). we've seen miles in really intelligent dynamics, and he can be both witty and unseriously goofy in them, but i'm not sure i've seen enough of him trapped with his own thoughts to know just how he'd perform heh

another thing ed mentioned on the podcast with andy d was his belief that greg is biased towards the older contestants (something like "they talk about being tired and greg simply relates to that — even though greg is not a tired old man and actually has a very youthful energy"; which i love, because it's so fascinating to me how often we forget / people don't realise greg's age because he just fits into any age group so seamlessly), so it makes me wonder if greg wouldn't lovingly bully miles and would actually find him charming/cute

sigh [picks up phone to call alex] let me see i can make this happen

LMAOOO like 5 minutes after the movie released one of my besties called me and was like "sarah. listen to me. rob brydon is sugar daddy ken. this is not a joke. this is code red. this is code. red."

rob is living his dream!!!

cutest anon of the year

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freesidexjunkie · 3 months

Text

People you'd like to get to know better

Thank you @dutifullylazybread for tagging me! I never get to play tag games 🥹 it's an honor just to be here among such illustrious company 💕

✨Favorite ships✨

Ahhhh this is going to be so hard to narrow down considering how hard I'm capable of simping and shipping... so let's start with things I've either written or wanna start writing

Nathaniel Howe X Cousland DAO; durgetash for CERTAIN; rolan x tav BG3; solavellan DAI; im also a real sucker for tamlen x mahariel but content for that seems to be a bit scarce. Idk, there's certainly a lot more but I'm currently on a very strong fantasy kick.

✨Last film✨

So last actual feature length film? Dragon Age: Dawn of the Seeker. Was it good? Uh. Do I recommend it? Yes. Fun little Cassandra backstory and reminds me of Killer Bean. I guess this is like, their attempt at a show in between DA2 and DAI, kinda like a much less refined Absolution? But if we're counting series, then Cunk on Earth last night (philomena my beloved you're a treasure)

✨Last song✨

Surprising absolutely no one, it's Hozier. Like Real People Do. I am a simple woman, I see longing and angst and I go feral.

✨Currently reading✨

For school, reading Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton. For pleasure, reading Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks. For fics, I am currently obsessed with @dutifullylazybread's ongoing Rolan fic (go read it RIGHT NOW).

✨Craving✨

So. We went to a bakery on Saturday that had these chai scones and really good iced lattes and that's all I've wanted since then. If you're near Richmond, it's Minglewood Bake Shop and it smells like walking into heaven. Also saw many cute dogs while there, 10/10 perfect restaurant.

Tagging... AHHHH hold on hold on. @queeronaquest was already tagged but I second that, she's great. Also tagging @arlathvhenan and @ddxcrow, and @angelorgy (if you guys feel up to it)

#tag game

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somebody-in-this-world-who-lives · 2 months

Text

Realized I haven't said anything here and oof

This will be a very personal post so before that I want to say I wish Shelby and everyone hurt by Will the very best. These things mess with our minds and I hope she finds peace in the response of the community.

This is just some thoughts I've been having since this whole thing came out that are really more about me but I wanted to get it out so I can move on

Ok so this whole thing feels so weird

I never let myself fully project on many content creators. This doesn't feel like the time I mourned for days thinking back then dream was a terrible person and felt lied to, thank God. This lacks the uncertainty and I dont feel bad its just kind of disconcerting I guess?

I never got that attached to Wilbur as a person since the fanbase was so extreme but if there was one thing (besides the music, I really liked the solo stuff he did) that really resonated with me about him was his mental health advocacy. The way he used to talk about feeling like a bad person, the struggles of being depressed and living in a less than ideal condition, his lyrics about feeling like you are hurting people around you and not being able to stop and all of the stuff people are calling signs now made me feel conforted back than. Maybe I just relate too hard to "loony artists" personas and the almost manic energy of it all. But fuck I was really happy he seamed to still be able to live a happy life with lots of friends with all of this going on like "maybe I can do that too" kind of way. Like, maybe I could not be alone and not end up hurting people by the way that I can be if I tried hard enough and watched myself in every step of the way.

Now knowing he did in fact fuck up people around him it just feels hollow. I know I tend to empathize with abusive characters in media because I fear I'll become like that and feel conforted in then changing but I really thought this was different. For one it's a real ass person I really thought had his shit figured out so like, im so disappointed? And I don't even know how to feel about all the ways we know his abuse manifested now like bitting, expecting her to clean his shit, saying put of pocket creepy stuff that I feel are mistakes I might make if I don't pay attention, I am really trying to hold on to the belief I would not ignore a safeword and that at least part of the behavior was intentional to hurt but it just makes me sick to even be able to draw that many comparisons.

I really have been trying to gather courage to try to be in a relationship this year and let go of the fear I'll end up hurt or/and be absolutely horrible and end up more alone and idk all of this just makes me scared, that someone that walked an artistic path so similar to what I want and that I admired in the past just did that. Like I said it's just disconcerting.

I really hope everyone hurt in this gets better and my sympathy to the people that idolized him for years now, it's probably hard to let go of who you thought this person was. I really just needed to get my feelings out for a second while they are still fresh and easy to tell. All the love for you guys, I'm probably not speaking on this again since it took a very long feelings forward time to type, but I really feel for everyone that feels they have been lied to in this situation because you have and it sucks.

#personal #wilbur soot #mcyt #I miss posting fun stuff about this community Im sorry I only can muster energy to talk seriously these days about this fandom I loved #Im just tagging for organization purposes and in case someone has blocked his name and doesn't want to see it #this is not a post to get information about the situation or anything like this

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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I dont even think the tag is dead at all tbh. We were really spoiled last summer with 2k post per day, and something crazy happening everyday like Mikhailgate, scriptgate, sock anon or people impersonating Ross duffer, but if you check most tags on this app, that's rarely the case. The thing is, it's been a year since season 4 came out and we're still getting around 300 posts per day and I need people to realise how crazy that is. Before season 4 the tag had like 5 k followers and there could be days without a single post. The fact that it's been a year and we still surpass 200 posts, AND we've already made it through the most content drought phase of the hiatus (since filming is about to begin and we'll increase the daily posts again) is crazy. This tag is still very much active, even for a show that hasn't released any new content for a year. And also AO3 is still active. The fact that for a whole year, there's been writers who still update fics or create new ones everyday is something I'm not used to coming from other smaller fandoms.

I get it's a bit more boring right now and we are looking back to the may-august craze, but we've already made it through the worst and we only need to hold on for one more month

This is definitely the best way to look at it!

I think I’m also maybe sad bc a lot of familiar faces aren’t as active, like some folks I remember seeing daily are gone. Which is fine!

And even despite that you’ll see posts in the tag get like hundreds of likes, so there are definitely a lot of people still lurking just not posting. Which is also fine!

It’s so true though that we are a lot more active than we realize.

Tumblr in general I used to think of as like a no man’s land pre-s4 bc it tends to really only be active in specific fandoms where like the unity is on point bc the content is just rolling in.

So many fandoms reside here at a point, but dwindle over time, and I feel like we are very fortunate to have made a big space here bc it is a cool platform when you have a lot of people that like a certain thing and want to talk about it.

And we’re fortunate enough to be so massive and not only that but this is sort of just the beginning. Imagine how many followers we’ll gain leading up to s5, during and after…? Or the aftermath of people coming here to look at theories and be like YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT! All the queer fans who kind of talked down on us (understandably) for potentially falling for queerbait, joining in and being like wow this is surreal, it finally happened. It’s going to be magical.

For now I guess it just makes me wonder if I should take a break too?? Like seeing yourself over and over in the tag is almost a wake up call that I should step back like everyone else is for the time being? Bc like idk if it’s maybe annoying to see the same person over and over? Or if it’s just the reminder of how inactive things are and that’s what makes people step back too?

Not even a bad thing necessarily like you said, bc this is still an unprecedented case of a fandom being quite active despite the circumstances.

Honestly though, even if there isn’t much news going into May and in the couple months after it, beyond like the bare minimum of what we’re expecting, I’ll try to embrace it and maybe step back or even focus on more detailed posts instead of the day to day fodder.

I also hate myself for this, but I rarely go in the top posts tag??? I’m always like living in the recent posts part of it and that’s probably also the problem 😭

So reminder to anyone that’s like me who does the same, we gotta support more of us that have top posts too bc I will literally remember the top posts exists, go there, find absolute gems (obviously it’s top posts???) and then be like why the fuck don’t I come here more often??? That’s another way I could probably curb my disappointment about us not being as active as I’m used to. And it’s super simple.

There’s a lot of stuff like that I could do better at to contribute to the solution of this being a better experience for myself and other still active on here!

Thanks for the pep talk anón 😇🙏

#byler #byler tumblr #ask

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eternal-echoes · 10 months

Text

So I finally gotten around to watching the Rurouni Kenshin reboot.

Some thoughts:

-The animation is honestly way better

-I like Soma Saito as Kenshin a lot more than Mayo Suzukaze. I think he was the perfect choice. There's gentleness in his voice but he can easily slip right into menacing and threatening.

-I also like the voice actors for Okita Soji and Hajime Saito.

-I was expecting Okita and Battousai to fight just like they did in Tsuioku-hen OVA and the live-action movie. But they didn't. He didn't even cough so Saito's concern might seem out of place for people watching this for the first time. (I feel like there's an assumption that the main audience watching this have already seen the first anime series and finished the manga already).

-I like how Kaoru and Kenshin met for the first time better in the old anime than in this new man. I felt it was more dramatic since he actually fell on the roof. Though I do like that they changed the time of the day to nighttime rather than dawn.

-I like how Kenshin saved Kaoru in the first anime better than in this one. There's more urgency and suspense this time around but I like the inverted colors of the old anime.

- I remember back then thinking how if Kaoru is a Kamiya Kasshin master, she would know not to carelessly hold a sword like this:

So I'm glad they didn't add that this time.

-I remember reading the manga for the first time after seeing the old anime and I thought I liked how the anime adaptation changed the storyline more. Now re-visiting that story again in this anime I think they're pretty equal. I think it highlights Kaoru being optimistic about people not caring about their pasts and how that helped Kenshin heal from his past. I think in the old anime it just seem like Kaoru only didn't care about Kenshin's past specifically (since he saved her life), not just in general. This time it's showing that her optimism is a particular character trait.

-the old anime also omitted how Kaoru picked up some clues where the fake Battousai is coming from since they changed the storyline. Although in the old anime she did figure out that Gohei was a former student of her father. But I think the old anime kinda made Kaoru a bit dumber and helpless than she really is.

-the animated fighting scenes are amazing. It feels like a nice 3-D ride.

-maybe this is more of a translation thing so I can't blame the animators for this but I like Kenshin's dialogue about swordsmanship more in the old anime and English dub anime (specifically the one by Bang Zoom! Entertainment)

-I like the openings songs more from the first anime than this one. When I first heard it from the trailers, I was like, "NO!!! It doesn't fit!"

And this is a lot of spoilers for first time fans:

-but in terms of the soundtrack/background music (idk what they're called specifically), I like this one, too. But a lot of the ones from the old anime still resonate with me.

-Kenshin seems more menacing this time around. And I think that really highlights how he still has a manslayer inside him.

-Also, Kenshin seems a little bit flippant to Kaoru here

I get that she was kinda being rude to him by saying he's just a wanderer, but the way he just walked away when she was baring her emotions was kinda off-putting to me. Maybe I'm the only one interpreting it this way

-Kenshin in the rain!!!

(I guess I'm fond of this because he met Tomoe in the rain)

-Yahiko's hair is a bit weird

Maybe I'm just a bit biased because I watched the old anime multiple times so that's still within me so maybe some of the changes they made would take a while to get use to, as oppose to someone watching it for the first time might have a different experience. I was a bit reluctant rewatching something I already know the story of but I'm excited after the first episode. Looking forward to the next.

#rurouni kenshin #rurouni kenshin reboot

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kurosstuff · 2 years

Note

Humbly begging for Donna and a reader who’s a Frankenstein’s Monster, though I guess in this case it’d be more along the lines of Heisenberg’s or Dimitrescu’s Monster.

Ok so- is it still a Frankenstein monster if they remember some of their human past? If not whoops- idk I never really read or watched anything Frankenstein so my knowledge on him isn't a lot- I can't remember if he was fully made of human parts or some was from his actual body-

All I know is- he hates fire- made up of dead people- anger issues and in some movies he wants to be human? Or something idk

So if you want me to redo this tell me!

Warning(s): slight body horror since reader is based of of a Frankenstein like creature??, blood; but overall fluff at some point. Suggestive? At a couple points? Idk flirty? Angsty a bit though so sorry-! Angie curses again cause it's funny to me

Donna Beneviento x Frankenstein-like! Reader: New Beginning

It hurt.

Everything hurts-

Your mind, body, and whatever the fuck is coming out of your mouth. The gurgling noises as you spit- something out

The color familiar yet not.

You felt hungry

...What's happening...? Why does everything hurt so bad

Why did something feel missing?

Who did this to you?

Why?

Why you?

"Well look at this."

Who even are you?

A bang caught your attention from above you. Curling into yourself all you smelled was smoke. Heavy footsteps headed your way. You ignored the other odd noises and focused on the new person on the room- your instincts telling you to run. But you didn't

You stayed.

"Now. What the hell happened to you?" A rough voice spoke again- Looking aroung the bloodied ground- a couple limbs thrown as if ripped off someone. The figure got close enough to you- Crouching down they threw their cigarette down crushing it under their boot. You opened your mouth in an attempt to speak.

All that came out was a growl

"HAH. Sorry guess I should've expected that." Looking up you watched the man rub his beard in thought- who was he? Why do you feel the need to run from him? "They all lose that ability when.. well" gesturing to you he sighed "you know."

"Ga...w.." your mouth attempted to speak the words yet couldn't come out properly. He watched patiently as you came to terms with it. "H..Hu-man?" The words sounded strange from your mouth. The voice unfamiliar even to yourself.

"Well shit. You can speak can't you?"

Nodding your head shakily- you sat up to look at him closely. His features familiar. Name something you knew very well. But couldn't recall.

"Not well but much better at least." He fell silent once again. Staring at you- a minute passed or maybe more. Time wasn't important anymore at this point. You're already dead.

Wait.. are you dead? Blinking slowly like a cat would- you tilted your head to the side. Moving your shaking hand to your chest to feel a heartbeat. The man watched you closely as you did. Feeling around you took a moment before feeling for the beat.

There was none.

"How about this. You come with me and I'll help you."

His voice. Familiar. What was his name? Why can't you remember?

Holding his hand out to you to grab a voice deep in the back of your mind urged you to not take it. You ignored it. Taking his hand he smirked. The same smirk you remember seeing on the painting in the church. The same one your in.

"Good choice." He spoke pulling you up. Patting your shoulder the familiar heavy hammer on his shoulder finally caught your attention. Your eyes widden- you remembered.

His names-

"I'm Lord Heisenberg."

Laying on a cold table- Heisenberg placed your remaining mangled limbs onto the side strapping them down tightly. Didn't matter how tight it was- you couldn't feel it.

"Now don't worry" he spoke roughly- pulling a cart of metal and dismembered dead limbs- lining it up beside him he gave a hum. "This will only hurt alot"

"Bite this. Don't wanna lose that tongue" putting a belt into your mouth you bit down- he waited a minite before pulling a scalpel be made the first cut-

You screamed.

Months of working paid off. You seemed more human in a way- more then you once were- you couldn't feel the pain as much as before but it was still there. Like a old feeling of reminisces but for pain. Your limbs enhanced to function easier without the chance of the joints failing like its done in the past. Breaking like it has before.

It was perfect- but different. The stitches and metal pocking out of you in the mirror showed you otherwise. The parts that wasnt yours before felt- off and weird. If not for the mirror you'd have no idea what you looked like.

Not anymore- it was like a stranger in your body- but your ok with it. It's much better then what you'd have to deal with. Even if it was a short time.

"The metal will have to settle more. The dead meat is too tough for it to function without you limping." Heisenberg spoke the first time- dispite being unable to speak more then a couple words- he knew what you were curious about. Glancing up from his paper he sighed "it won't be as bad in a little bit."

"You'll walk properly again soon. Give it time"

And wait you did. It took another month until you could walk again properly with the new metal in them- the new limbs stitched together in such a way it tightened and pulled when you moved thankfully it was not as painful as it was before. It took another month to bend them without the noise it would make(still did just not as loud.)

Your hands were another deal. The joints work well surprisingly well. Unlike your legs which Heisenberg theorized it could've been from the breaks in them before you.. turned. The sharp claws added to the discolorization up to your elbows. Your whole body turned to a sick Grey color while your hands and the veins leading up to the elbows looked like a tar. The darkened veined from the burns you suffered grew more clear.

You insisted on wearing gloved to cover them up. But even that couldn't hide the claws. The indents from them breaking the gloves no matter how much you tried.

You stuck with black gloves because of that.

Your face wasn't much different. Minus the glowing eyes. And the stitching next to your check leading from your eye to the bottom of your jaw from some foreign injury you can't seem to remember- it was still your face. Just different.

Minus the teeth. They weren't human- to ragged and sharp to be considered human teeth.

You still looked like you. At least that's what you liked to think.

The strength you held was an issue for the both of you. Heisenberg refused to let you touch anything without his help since you broke his metal bars- a problem for you cause now you can't touch anything. No matter how much you wanted to.

And you wanted to.

The first time you didn't shake when lifting your arms- You were happy. The first thing you did was attampt to drink tea by yourself- you held it too and broke it without lifting it to drink. You waited weeks before your ability to hold back your strength got better. You didn't break anything you touched right away anymore. But you still couldn't touch anything fragile.

"OK get up." Heisenberg spoke shaking you awake. Blinking slowly at him- you looked at him silently " I'm taking you to help with your.. gentle shit" gesturing to all of you with a wave of his hand

Looking at him blankly he rolled his eyes turning to wait for you to stand and dress "its not like I can help with that. I'm not gentle."

"And I can't have you mopping about. I see the way you want to touch those flowers. Wilted or not. Touch those animals but refuse to." Heisenberg spoke slowly to make sure you understood what he was saying more clearer. "I.. I know someone who can help you with that. Be helpful in ways I can't." Once the shuffling was over he turned to face you again. His face neutral- yet a hint of hesitation

"I can help you physically. Fix your body as much as I can but she can help where it really counts. The inside"

It all became clear.

You were being sent to someone else to help you- and by the sounds of it he won't be staying with you.

The feeling you felt with that was- weird. Sad and unfamiliar. You couldn't decide if the thing you felt was sad cause your helper- creator-? wasn't coming with or it was the fact you had to interact with a new person.

Something you haven't done since it first happened.

The bond you had with Heisenberg was weird to say the least. He wasn't bad like how you remembered him being. He was... awkward. But kind in his own way. Even more so since you had a will of your own.

He was always there for you when it mattered though.

Like when you tried to eat a metal screw thinking it was food- he stopped you and guided you to eat something else. Or the time you spoke your first word without a stutter- he made it a big thing because to you-it was a big thing.

"Hey" breaking you out of your thoughts he looked at you silently.

"You will be fine. She's nice"

The ride to wherever was a little long- the time spent in the Carrier was him checking that you had everything you needed. Going over the usual rules.

Be careful and listen to her.

And don't break the dolls.

It was easy rules to follow- something you can do without much trouble. Being compliant was easy- actually following through with stuff is harder for you. But you can manage- if this mysterious woman is someone he trusts- you will trust her as well.

"..hey you uh.. ok?" Heisenberg spoke not as awkwardly as he used to be- when he attempted to be gentle with you- he knows you need gentle. "This is your first time leaving the factory. I'll understand if your upset" watching you shake your head he sighed softly "use your words"

"..No. Am fine" slowly the words came out awkwardly but the pain in your throat was as it always was.

Unbearable.

It took at least 25 minutes to get to some misty place- looking out the small window of the door you stared in wonder- the trees looked dark yet light from the moon peaking in from the mist- the dolls hanging was an odd touch but you chalked it up to some decoration thing. Passing a bump in the road you saw some graves- your face grimmed at the reminder. Of what you missed-

"OK come on. Where here" Heisenberg called out breaking you from your thoughts. Looking over at him when the Carrier came to a stop he opened the door a hand out for you "Come on. Don't want to keep them waiting" taking his hand- he helped you out. He allowed you to cling to his jacket to help your nerves. This was all new and he knew it.

He slowly helped you to the door- looking at you for a moment before knocking. Automatically the door opened he stepped in with you and closed it.

A woman wearing a long black dressed with a black veil stood the middle of the room- her hands placed infront of her in a stiff manner- a doll that looked to be wearing a bride dress sat beside her- it looked like it was staring at the way you held Heisenberg's sleeve tightly- it was unnerving.

"This is the person I was telling you about" Heisenberg spoke roughly- like he did when you first met him- like he didn't care how his voice sounded to someone else- yet a hint of comfort behind it- as if the person meant something to him- in a way.

"This is Y/N"

"And this. This is Donna Beneviento. One of the other lords I told you about" Heisenberg spoke slowly- to make sure you could catch the words properly- the sound of his slow voice the woman turned to face him faster then you saw her move a second ago. Like she was caught of guard "She's going to help you. Remember I told you that"

He turned to face the woman. Thinking to himself. "Can we talk real quick Donna." Nodding her head he turned to you

"Stay here" you let go of his sleeve so he could leave.

Heisenberg left you with the odd looking doll while the veiled woman trailed after him into another room. Looking back down at the doll at your feet you blinked slowly at it- unsure of how it got so close or what to do now.

"Aren't ya gonna say anything?"

Blinking confused you furrowed your eyebrows looking around the room for the voice you were alone minus the doll. Pulling your pants you looked down- the doll was moving?

"Hey down here" kneeling down to face her properly the doll cackled loudly causing you to flinch a bit. "Names Angie. Your uh... hm" taping her finger to the side of her head in thought "Oh! Y/N! Right. Totally didn't forget about that" Angie spoke facing you again.

"..Doll?"

"Yes Captain Obvious. I am a doll" Angie spoke sarcastically- if she had the ability to move her eyes or had eyelids she's be rolling them. She fell silent for a moment as if something took over her before snapping out it. "Sorry..." Mumbling she looked like a toddler that was just scolding for doing something she shouldn't have.

Heisenberg and the woman came back into the room a minute later. Standing up straight you watched as Heisenberg went towards you. Placing a hand on your shoulder

"Well I'll be off now." Noticing the sad look on your face "now don't be like that. I told you already. She's nice" patting you on the Arm he sigged "I already told her don't worry. She knows talking isn't something you can do very well yet."

"... I'll check in on you once a month." And with that he was gone.

Leaving you with the woman you forgot the name of and Angie the doll.

Silence filled the room- turning to face the two in silence you studied the woman infront of you as she did the same.

"Call me Donna" a soft voice called out from the veiled woman- it sounded unused for sometime- you were glad your hearing was way better then it used to or you may have missed it

The months that followed started off slow. The friendship between you and Donna- she along with Angie would do the talking mostly. Angie mostly. Donna would ask you how your morning was- ease you into small easy conversations patiently waiting for your response even if it took a while giving the missuse of your own fixed throat.

Angie on the other hand- would bombard you with questions and other words you couldn't make sense of- but she never asked anything other then a yes or no questions yet- dispite your physical warnings Angie loved to dangle from your neck or arms- always loved to way you rushed to a table for her to proper stand to get off-

She never did.

She'd continue to cling to you like a Koala to a tree until Donna would come to take her off of you herself- then she'd hiss like a cat each time when it'd happen. You were just glad dispite her clinging to you- Angie she'd be gentle with the stitching- never touching them more then necessary

Talking lessons got easier to do because of how patient they both were. How the lessons started slow- then slowly got harder. They'd always encourage you into saying the words you wanted even when you failed to form a proper sentence- they'd congratulate you- something told you if it was anyone else Angie would cackle loudly at them because of it.

Writing on the other hand took a bit longer giving how harshly you'd hold the pencil. Breaking it each time. Huffing from another break- Donna looked over at you struggling for a moment

"Here" Donna spoke reaching out to your hand- you allowed her to gently pull your fingers a bit from the pencil to hold it more softly yet firmly so it wouldn't fall "like this" she showed you with her own waiting until you grabbed a new none broken one to try again.

Once you did finally hold it with it breaking she nodded her head- smiling under her veil. "Like that" standing up she turned to Angie "now I'm going to go back to this commission. Be good Angie" Donna spoke nodding in your direction again before she left

Humming from the doll was heard as she drew into the paper hurriedly-you on the other hand did the same thing but slow and awkward like it was your first time holding a pencil.

And it was. Technically.

Writing into the book crookedly Angie glanced over humming "Oh like this!" Turning her book around she showed you how she wrote inside the two lines- blinking slowly you nodded leaning over to mimic what she did- once you finished Angie jumped onto the table "CONGRATS! You know what this means-?" Tilting your head to the side again she cackled

"You get a cookie! Come on! Follow me"

It's been quiet in the living room. Too quiet. Donna looked up at the clock and thought- there hasn't been a noise for the past minute. Suspicious. Raising from her seat she set the needle down before turning to go into the room.

Her suspicion was correct neither of you were in the room. Huffing she glanced around before hearing the attempted whispers from Angie in the kitchen. Slowly she walked towards it. She watched silently as you knelt down beside Angie

"Come on you big log. Just pick me up I'll get it and bam! Cookie" Angie stated as if it was the most obvious plan "foul proof. Donna won't know" moving to pick her up you stopped- Donna watched as you furrowed your eyebrows in thought- she didn't move. She stayed still even when you did get the confidence to pick Angie up gently, in a soft way. Smiling she backed away.

Donna never saw you both steal a cookie that night.

Or the next morning.

"C-.. cookie" you mumbled for the first time beaming in happiness once you said the word. Donna looked over from her tea humming in question- pointing up towards the jar you spoke again "cookie?" You spoke awkwardly.

"Go ahead. But thats the last one until dessert" Donna spoke softly watching as you turned and grabbed the jar. You've come along way from how you were when you first met. Your speech is getting better too which is good. Donna can't wait go see how far you go- she smiles at the thought. Going back until a tap on the table beside her caught her attention looking up she saw you holding a cookie out to her

"Yes? I said you can have one" Donna confirmed turning to face you properly- growing confused once you shook your head.

"Yours" nudging the cookie towards her. Placing a hand out towards you- she grabbed the cookie silently before staring at it.

"Thank you"

You smiled making her breath stop. No. This isn't good- Donna's face flushed underneath her veil. That damn smile of yours- that kind smile she fell for.

..fell for?

What the hell?

Where did that come from? She wasn't supposed to fall for you- she couldn't. Wouldn't she didn't deserve that. The kind person you were stumped her- how could she fall for you? The gentle nature of who you are would be tainted by the monster she is- the cruel irony of the situation- the ability she possessed and had done to people she's cared about before- she would do the same for you.

She would hurt you. It was a miracle she hasn't done so yet.

"Donna?" A soft voice brought her back to the present. Looking away from the cookie to you- the concerned look on your face brought heat to her face- flustered she cleared her throat

"Hm? Oh sorry" clearing her throat again "I got lost in thought there" smiling under her veil- she was glad it was there or you'd see her red face

Angie gaged teasingly in the background at the two of you

You felt weird the last couple weeks. You knew what this feeling was- you felt it before. But that was when you were alive- not.. not whatever you are now. It was a before feeling- something you expressed once you gained the confidence to do so.

Now your not sure you can.

"Come on now. It'll be fine." Heisenberg spoke on one of your weekly walks together. He walked side by side with you. Signature cigarette no where to be seen.

"No. It can't work."

She is alive.

You are not.

That's what you came to the conclusion too- it wouldn't be fair to her. Be fair to love her while your not human. You were never ashamed of what you became but in some ways. Like this. Your ashamed. Ashamed of what you can't give her.

Like this.

You wish you were really human.

You wished you could openly admit to yourself on your feelings vocally- not just think it. Think of the impossible. Of romantic walks with her- holding hands in a romantic way with her. Kissing her. Loving her. It's such a normal feeling no one can help but you felt selfish for it.

Your inlove with Donna Beneviento and you know you can never ever tell her. No matter how much you wanted to.

"Just tell her" Heisenberg spoke already knowing the answer "it's better to know for sure. And hey- if it works I know one thing for sure" giving him a confused look he grinned

"I know you'll treat her right"

You never outwardly stated you were trying to court Donna- nor did you really notice you were exactly doing so.

Donna didn't either but she assumed what you did was friend thing.

Angie hated it. She sat watching the two of you flirting- and neither of you realized you were? You were holding hands for fucks sake. And Donna was referring to you as those annoyingly cute nicknames every now and again.

Why don't you two just kiss already.

Angie froze. She had an idea

It took weeks to somewhat beg Donna to take the three of you down to the dock- but in the end it will be worth it- at least that's what Angie thought. She had the whole thing planned. She just needed the perfect time to strike.

It was a warm day- the three of you sat at the docks for some lunch.

The two of you spoke of things Angie didn't care to listen. She just wanted the plan to happen already. Angie just needed to be patient.

Something she isn't.

"Angie take that stick out of your mouth. Don't eat that" Donna spoke facing Angie. Grumbling something coherent Angie took it out. The thing covered in small doll like bites before throwing it.

"I wanna look at the fishes." Angie spoke- she ran out of patience. She can't sit and watch- whatever the hells happening between Donna and you. Standing she rushed close to the edge but far enough away to not be spotted if someone was there as well. "Well? You two coming?"

She watched you both stand to go to the edge of the deck. Her plan was in motion.

Angie placed the stick closer to Donna's foot- the romantic idea coming into play. She would fall- you'd catch her and boom you two will kiss. Angie giggled to herself- it's foil proof. Nothing will go wrong.

Until it did go wrong.

Donna took a step back- turning her foot slid underneath- gasping loudly- you turned without a second thought grabing her arm you pulled her towards you before she fell- you held Donna there for a moment before you heard it. The sound you never wanted to hear. She hissed in pain. Letting go you jumped back watching Donna rub her arm slowly- in pain. Panic settled in.

You hurt her.

You hurt the woman you love

How could you do such a thing? You started to lose your breath. Breathing hard- panicking. Donna's head shot up sharply- she froze. She took in your panicked state. The way you held your hands close to your chest The terror- the fear. The guilt. "Y/N" she spoke your name slowly. She took a step forward. You took one back. She froze her hand reached out to try to touch yours-

"DON'T."

Your voice shocked you both- you've never risen your voice at her- or anyone before. "Don't touch me. I- I don't what to hurt you again." Donna's heart broke once she heard you. She put her arm back to help comfort you

"You didnt-"

"Yes. I did. Look at your arm. I-" gulping- tears pooled at your eyes. Can you even cry? Were you allowed that after what you did? You needed to leave. Run and hide. Be away from what you did. And so you did.

"I'm sorry"

You ran

It took a moment for Donna to snap out of it. Snap out of the shock of you yelling- the flinching away from her to fully realize what really happened. Once it clicked in her head she ran as fast as she could back to the house. Of course you'd freak out. You were always worried of hurting someone- hurting her. Keeping touches at a minimum- only taps or handholding- but you accidentally grabbed her rougher then usual.

Running into the house she went room to room to try and find you. Her nerves were shot. She felt sick to her stomach for not comforting you as soon as she realized what happened.

Room to room. She couldn't find you- tears started to fall. Did you leave her? Because of what you thought you did? Please.

It all started to be a blur- her sight blured from the tears and nausea she felt. Her breath became ragged- uneven.

Where were you?

She ran to her workshop looked head to toe for you.

You weren't there

It started off slow. Donna eased you into holding hands to grow more comfortable with touching- to hold someone's hand and not feel like your hurting them. Not that you would purposely

"Like this" Donna spoke softly- reaching over to hold your hand in such a soft way- resting her palm up on hers until she slowly closed her hand over yours- waiting for you to do the same. Brushing her thumb against your hand she watched your face flush- a soft smile appeared on both your faces.

"See? I knew you could do it" she hummed softly as you copied her brushing your thumb against her hand back. Her face red under her veil from the small yet soft interaction

"you won't hurt me"

Yet you did.

You did hurt her- grab her arm- enough for her to hurt. To possibly bruise. Break even if you didn't stop.

Curing up in the corner you sobbed- you could hear her running around calling for you. But you can't. You can't face Donna- not after what you did. Hear her begging for you to come out.

You can't. Not now.

Rubbing your eyes harshly you sobbed- the Grey around the eyes darkened from how harshly you wiped the tears away. Biting your lip from crying out- you didn't want her to find you. Sniffling you listened to figure put where she was.

It was silent.

Looking up- you froze, you saw Donna panting heavily in the doorway- watching you. Possibly judging you from behind her veil- you weren't sure but you wouldn't blame her. Walking towards you slowly to not spook you more then you already were.

"Y/N" Donna called out quietly relief escaping her as if she'd blink and you'd be gone. Kneeling down infront of you she stared silently. "Your ok.." holding her hands out to you- she slowly inched closer to you.

"No- I don't" you stuttered- freaking out. Looking away from Donna you came close to crying again "I don't want to hurt you again"

"You won't"

No hesitation. Donna knew you didn't mean to- it was an accident. Seeing you like this- broke her. She knew how you felt about accidentally hurting her- or anyone. "Don't." Putting her hand up to stop you from talking "Its the truth. I'm not mad or anything."

"You didn't mean it"

You broke. Sobbing into your hands before hands pulled them away from your face- then being pulled into her arms. Resting against Donna's front she held you silently as you sobbed into her. Slowly- you put your hands up to hold her as well. Before you let them drop against her side.

She can forgive you- but you can't.

You want to hold her back- but you can't risk it.

"Its ok" Donna whispered rubbing your back "you didn't mean to. It's ok" she held you as you sobbed- brushing her hands acrossed your back gently she brought them to the top of your head- running her fingers along your scalp as gently as she could- she waited until you were done crying against her to pull you up to look in your face.

"Donna-"

"No." She interrupted stern but kind "you grabbed my arm yes. But it was to help me up- not to hurt me. I am fine. We are fine." Brushing her thumb on your arm- she waited watching you incase you were to object- knowing how stubborn she'd be you stayed silent. It wouldn't be a quick thing to forgive yourself for- but you know deep down- it wasn't your fault.

You just felt like it was. But right here- in Donna's arms you couldn't help but see it her way- how she comforted you on what you did. Even by accident- she'd always forgive you.

Bringing your arms around her waist you pulled her into a hug- she did the same- smiling under her veil as she did.

Two weeks have past from that interaction- nothing changed minus Donna holding your hand more often. Snuggling into your side during movie nights(Angie dangling from the top dresser like the weirdo she is), holding your arm on walks more often- like she was making sure you weren't gonna run off or something

The sight infront of you made you stop- Donna stood drinking tea in the kitchen- without her veil. Your face flushed a bit- as you grew more confident to touching her again more often she has been trying to be more comfortable without her veil- something she insisted was fair no matter how much you tried to convince her otherwise

It wasn't the first time you've seen her without her veil- it wasn't going to be the last either- but each time it was like a world wind of emotions hitting you- each time you were almost always caught staring at her face blushing- causing Donna to flush as well. You've grown used to how expressive she is with her hands- but not how expressive her face is.

Everytime she was nervous or excited- she'd bite her lip- just like she does when shes working on the dolls- rare times she allows you in- and without her veil- she'd bite her lip in concentration- a small smile when she finally finished the final stitch- before moving onto the painting.

Dinner was different too- the way she licked her lips when she at something and didn't feel like getting a napkin- always caused you to flustered in your seat- and her smile. It was nothing like you'd ever imagined- it was so much more gorgeous then you dreamed of- how relaxed she got then smiling after- if your heart could beat fast or flutter it would everytime you saw it.

"-ace?"

Blinking you looked at Donna who refused to look at you in the eyes looking to the side shyly- shifting slightly she glanced at you- "is- Is there something on my face-" she repeated nervously biting her lip

"Yes- no- wait-" stumbling over your words you glanced around the room "No- there isn't. I'm sorry I uh- your just very pretty" scratching the back of your neck it was silent for a couple minutes

".. you don't need to lie"

Looking over quickly- Donna had a look of sadness on her face- her hand went up to the mass that took her right eye

"No. Your a beautiful woman Donna" before she could respond you took a step forward slowly towards her "Your scar is gorgeous too. It tells a story. Like all markings on bodies do. And I feel just like your personality- you on the outside are a beautiful woman" you awkwardly spoke- it wasn't something that could make her confidence right away- but maybe one day it will.

Reaching your hands to her face- she allowed you to cradle her face in your hands- you smiled softly- caressing the mutated eye as softly as you could- "you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on" you spoke without hesitation- Donna's face flushed darkly at the statement- a large grin appeared on her face. Moving forward she hid her face in your neck clinging to your jacket

"Oh- come on now Donna" humming you brought your hands on the small of her back smiling "let me see your beautiful face hun" a sharp breath escaped Donna before a moment she pulled back to look at you shyly. She reached over wrapping her arms around your neck- looking into your eyes she bit her bottom lip gently glancing at yours before looking in your eyes again.

"C-" Donna started- clearing her throat a boost of confidence filled her- "can I kiss you?"

"I'd want nothing more"

She didn't hesitate after getting permission- she brought you close to her brushing her lips against yours gently- pulling back for only a second to get a feel on how to go about it- before she kissed you again. Pouring her love and affection as she can towards you as she did- humming against your mouth sending a vibration causing a noise to escape you- grabing her hips they tightened gently causing her to groan against you. Pulling back Donna rested her forehead against yours- smiling gently at you.

"GOD get a room you two" Angie screeched fake gaging behind Donna- the two of you pulled away flushed but amused

"Maybe I'll kiss them during dinner" Donna thought alot smiling at a gaging Angie who screeched like a rabid animal- running she grabbed Donna's dress pulling it slightly yelling profanities as she did

"NOOO DON'T FUCKING KISS OVER MY SALAD" Angie cursed lowly before freezing under the closed eye smile "...whoops" letting go of her dress Angie took a step back

"Angie."

"NO" Angie yelled running out of the room "NOT THE WATER BOTTLE FUCK IM SORRY- SORRY FOR THAT TOO" With that Angie disappeared

Turning towards you a bashful look appeared on her face "I'm.. sorry about that- I guess Karl taught her one too many curses.. one was more then enough.." Donna mumbled fhe last part. Clearing her throat she looked at you- reaching over to hold your hand "so uh- are we together now-?" Sounding unsure of herself she glanced away shyly

"I'd love nothing more"

#i had an idea for it- and was like #instead of just Heisenburgs creation its BOTH #since its #Frankenstein #oh-#donna talks alot cause they talked about how you needed someone othee then angie teaching you how to speak.#donna beneviento #donna beneviento x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil #angie had the idea from the little mermaid-#she felt bad after words #can you tell this is the second time ive ever wrote a kiss scene #idk what im doing #i wrote and then proceeded to delete the veil reveal scene since i fucking hated it #i think its ok not to have it this time #the fucking ending gave me whiplash i hate it idk how to end a fic right-#ill just keep going

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