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#so im giving myself a big proud pat on the back for this
enblvsh · 1 year
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ENHYPEN HEADCANON - their favorite form of physical affection
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genre. soft/fluff, suggestive for jay.
a/n. omg, hi.. soo quick life update; i went to the seventeen concert in oakland!! literally had the best time of my life and i miss them sm :(( also i haven't written anything since i last posted, so im currently easing back into it, please bare with ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა also can i just wow, this is the first post i started and actually finished in one sitting?!?!? so proud of myself tbh
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lee heeseung. ʚɞ headpats although it may not seem as "traditional" or "romantic", heeseung likes it because it can be used to express many things. when he's proud of you; *pat* when he finds you adorable; *pat* or when your simply just existing; *pat* *pat* *pat*. it's also his way of saying hello and acknowledging your presence—say as your passing by him or sitting next to him. hee just finds it adorable and endearing; and because its subtle, he likes that he can do it in front of the others as well, without having to deal with their teasing and complaints.
✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«
park jongseong. ʚɞ kisses jay is a classic man who would express his love through kisses. i feel like he'd absolutely LOVE to spoil you with kisses, not even kidding he will kiss you 10 times a day AT LEAST; whether that's before he leaves for work, when he comes back, while you're falling asleep in each other's arms, or simply any moment in each other's presence. it's not always on the lips though; he'll kiss your forehead, eyelids, cheeks, neck, collarbone, shoulders, and hands. they tend to be soft and sweet, simply expressing his pure love and admiration for you, but they can also be passionate and heated, which may or may not lead to something more...
sim jaeyun. ʚɞ cuddles i am so whipped for jake, he's literally the clingiest and cuddliest boy ever ! he'll drop anything just to cuddle with you, even if it's important, but really nothing will ever be more important than you :( tbh you guys are always cuddling, but his favorite are the ones after a long day, because that's when they're the most comforting. jake is always a giggling mess during your cuddle sesh; i mean, how else is he suppose to react when your cute lil face is so close to his? with that being said, he prefers to be the big spoon so he can admire and plant kisses all over your face, but he occasionally likes to be the little spoon too.
park sunghoon. ʚɞ holding hands this is more of a fact than an opinion, like have you seen the i-land clips? despite his cold and composed demeanor, ice prince is actually the softest boy there ever was, and is a little shy when it comes to pda. sunghoon likes any form of affection regarding your hands—holding them, kissing them, playing with them, etc. not only does he think its romantic but he likes the subtly of the act, and thinks it easy to hide when the others catch him being affectionate (even though he's horrible at playing it off.) he's always holding your hand in public too, or sometimes he'll link your pinkies together to give you a little more freedom when you go shopping. and even in private, he'll hold your hand while the other is scrolling through his phone. he just loves your hands and finds them so pretty (but not prettier than his duh!)
kim sunoo. ʚɞ hugs this little ball of sunshine ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა i've said it before, but sunoo is just so bubbly and absolutely loves being around you. his hugs are used to greet you, check up on you, comfort you, and so on. his favorite kind are back hugs, and he LOVES giving them. there's simply nothing better than holding you and resting his head on your shoulders, it's when he's at his happiest. and he most certainly loves being held as well. you loved how safe you felt in his embrace, his hugs are always so warm and theraputic (sunoo's hugs = free therapy and personal human heater). definitely the type of boyfriend to run up and hug you after being away from you for so long.
yang jungwon. ʚɞ hugs + cuddles jungwon seems so cuddly tbh, he looks like someone who'd give the warmest hugs, or whose hugs would instantly melt away the worries of those who embrace him. of course, his hugs would be a way to comfort you during tough times, but they're also his way of saying hello or expressing his curiosity to what you were doing. say you're making yourself food, he'll just come up from behind and wrap his arms around you while watching what you were making. jungwon also loves cuddles; he doesn't have a particular reason why, he just does, and it's not like he has to do much to get what he wants (he has his ways ◔_◔) 75% of the times he's the little spoon, because to him that's when he can let down his guard, take a break from being the leader and relax. but when he's the big spoon, he'll be constantly brushing your hair behind your ear/running his finger through your hair, and give you so so many back rubs!
nishimura riki. ʚɞ leaning on each other's shoulders honestly speaking, riki doesn't seem like someone who's big on physical touch, maybe that's because he's young? but this boy will always lean his head on your shoulder when you're sitting close to each other. not only is it comfortable, but it's also his way of saying he's comfortable with you :) sometimes he'll lay your head on his shoulder too— it's him letting you know that you can be comfortable with him! riki oddly likes to rub his head against yours, which sounds funny but is actually quite adorable. whenever riki sees you sitting by yourself, he lwky feels bad because you're alone (even though you're perfectly fine with it.) of course he's not gonna let his s/o be alone, so he sits besides you and leans his head on your shoulder, so you know he's there for you <3
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© enblvsh. PLEASE DO-NOT REWRITE, STEAL, COPY, TRANSLATE, MODIFY, OR REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORMS.
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st4rgzer · 6 months
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ORANGE JUICE matt sturniolo
summary: y/n comes back after a few tough months (very much recommend listening to orange juice by noah kahan before reading)
genre: fluff and angst
cw: big TW for recovering and becoming sober :)
a/n: again, theres more info in the songs if this doesn’t make much sense but yeah, hope y’all like it<3, will do more song rec fics, i love them
The triplets called me today, they heard I was better and they were hanging out with Nate and some other friends, so I decided to tag along.
It’s been 6 months on the dot since I got sober, I think they know about it. I’ve kind off disappeared from the face of the earth, changing myself, and I wasn’t sure if some people would approve.
I knock on the door and I’m greeted by Nick immediately, he engulfs me in a hug that lasts about a minute
“nick I missed you too but I think that’s enough” I laughed, trying to unwrap his arms, he eventually does it himself.
“yeah stop hogging her!” Chris says before wrapping his arms around me in yet another never ending hug. After a bit, Im left standing in front of Matt, he’s different, he’s grown a little bit of a beard, barely a beard, more like a stubble, a smile creeps up on my face, a familiar one, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time.
“you look great” he smiles at me, coming closer and embracing me in my third hug in the span of 5 minutes, I linger there for a little longer, he sighs and rests his head on the crook of my neck, his words tickle. “I’ve missed you, a lot” I giggle a bit as the stubble brushed against me jawline. I break from the hug as soon as I remember Nick, Chris, and Nate are waiting on us. “I missed you too” I whispered before Nick began ranting on about the things I’ve missed.
“And we’ve been on tour! And we’re going again soon” he explains as the end of his Ted talk comes to an end.
“wow! Thats great, im so happy for you guys” I can’t help but have a huge smile on my face, looking at the three and realizing how much they’ve grown without me, and the fact they’ve waited for me and they’re not mad at me for leaving, no questions asked.
“What have you been up to?” Matt asks with a quiet voice “if you don’t mind us asking” he quickly reassures me I don’t have to say anything I’m not comfortable with.
“Well, I’ve been getting help, doing better now” I leave it there, not wanting to give any more information than I needed to, not right now at least.
“That’s amazing, we’re proud of you” Matt places a hand on mine for comfort, everyone nods agreeing.
“Wanna help me with the snacks?” Matt breaks the silence, I nod and he leads me to the kitchen, it hasn’t changed a bit since I got here, there’s just more stuff, it’s more lived in, I like it.
I open the fridge and see a row of beers at the bottom, probably for when friends come over, my body goes tense and the sounds around me become muffled, I snap out of it when Matt pats on my shoulder.
“Hey, you alright?” He ask’s concerned, I know he’s trying to keep a calm expression but I can tell he’s worried.
“Yeah I’m fine just- got caught up for a second” I utter out with a sigh, I don’t notice my hand trembling till he grabs it.
“Theres orange juice here, I know it’s your favorite” he says softly, rubbing the palm of my hand, making sure I looked at him in the eyes so I wouldn’t get distracted with something else.
“Yeah? Thanks, I’ll get it then” I smile at him, he kissed the tips of my fingers gently
“Anything you need ok? Count on me, please” he begged, looking at me with sincerity, no games.
I nodded and the corners of my mouth turned upwards as it hit me that I was with him again, after such a long time, for me at least. I then grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a cup, Matt glancing at me with a smile on his face as I did so.
Our hearts have changed, our faces have changed, but we’ll always find our way back to each other, no matter the changes we succumb to, and I’ll always hold that in my heart.
taglist: @iha8you @dwntwn-strnlo @slaysturniolo @stvrni0lo @strniolo @gabbylovesreading @sturn3g1rl @ifilwtmfc
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kpop-with-mars · 2 years
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Stray kids x Trans reader
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{I don't own any gifs used in this credits to og creaters}
{summary: head-cannons/scenarios about stray kids with a trans boyfriend ❤}
{Warnings: I myself am a trans boy but im very sorry if this makes you feel misrepresented, slight transphobia, implied self hatred}
Enjoy!
Bang chan
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Well obviously he's gonna support his boyfriend.
"Congratulations, I know that might've been hard to figure out so im proud of you baby".
Achievement unlocked: you now own all of chan's hoodies.
If he notice's that you're even just slightly upset he'll say something like 'woah your voice is deeper then it was yesterday' or 'you're looking very handsome today'.
knows when you're dysphoric because you puff out your shirt/hoodie or cover yourself with blankets,
so he just climbs next to you, gives you small kiss and tries to talk to you to see why you're feeling so upset with yourself.
Minho
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You told him when he asked why you always avoid talking about your parents and hang up when they would try to call you,
Long story short if they don't see you as their son then you don't see them as your parents.
"just remember y/n-ah, you're always welcome here with me and the cats".
being fathers of three you and minho take pride in spoiling soongi, Doongi and dori with love and head pats because they fucking deserve it.
minho always tries to helps you feel as comfortable as you can be like shopping for baggy clothes, giving you tips on appearing masculine, etc,
Although one time he was hovering over you're shoulder and looking at the receipt for your testatorone when his eyes stumbled upon your dead name, then he freaked out and he kept apologising while trying erase it from his brain.
Changbin
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You and chanbin have been working out to together for a while so one day after working out you start to feel cramps in your sides and start fearing the worst
"Baby you okay?, did you over work yourself?"
you quickly rush to the bathroom to check but come out and sigh in relief "thank fuck I don't have periods anymore"
changbin looks at you very confused while you stare back after realizing what you said until changbin lets out an oh, so yeah you didn't really have to tell him, he knows.
What he calls a date is actually just you and him trying arrays of desserts and foods while having conversations about things like whats been happening recently, over throwing the government, and other important things.
Whenever your dysphoric changbin is always willing to put a hit on the person that made you feel uncomfortable but he'd rather just hold you in his big arms and tell you how how strong you are for not hiding how you feel.
Hyunjin
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you and hyunjin were out and about just shopping when you see a translucent shirt that catches your eye that you wanna try on
so you step into the changing room hyunjin waiting outside imaging how cute your gonna look, you step out to show hyunjin and he gets a bit starstruck by just how pretty he thought you were when he notices two scars on your chest.
"You look amazing baby, but how did you get those scars there??"
You try to cover up when he noticed them but it was no use he already saw them, so you just simply explain to him that you're trans and he said it was okay that you didn't immediately tell him because he doesn't want to pressure you.
whenever you two are getting ready for dates he'll already have an outfit that he picked out for you that he hopes you'll like(and you do cuz he's got taste) and you an outfit that you hope he'll like.
during those dates he'll try to hold your hand as much as possible to let you know that he's right next to you and he won't let anyone treat you less then human.
Han
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After getting a relaxing shower you were changing in Hans room when he barges in which made you jolt up, then when Hans eyes landed on the scars you had on your chest instead of saying anything else that sounded even slightly more believable in a panic you shout "I donated my lungs",
to which he laughed out " stop freaking out so much baby I know what top surgery is, I still love you" he gives you a peak on the cheek and leaves you to continue changing.
hans love language is physical affection and you know it, for a minute you'll be sitting on the couch then the next minute you'll be in the web that is Hans arms unable to break free from his loving grasp.
Dates with han include: holding hands, going to a bakery, sleepovers that nether of you want to end, iced americanos, matching couples accessories, etc.
Every small interaction between you two han sees as a date, you text han in the middle of the night because both of you can't sleep so he drives to your place and you fall asleep in his arms, date.
you can get pretty sensitive when you're dysphoric to the point of crying, and han is willing to just sit in silence as he holds you while you try to tell him what happened.
Felix
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After many hours of making a trans flag cake so its easier for you to come out you go to get felix and sit him down so you can get the cake,
once you place it in front of him he can't help but cover his mouth in awe.
"Aw baby i still love you the same, you wanna share a piece?".
you and felix try to go on dates with eachother as much as you two can due to felixs busy schedule, so you'll just surprise him with lunch when he's backstage getting ready for promotions.
But when you and him do go on dates the two of you do things like going to a small cafe, slow dancing under the stars, baking something new while music plays in the backround, etc.
he knows that even though you do have supportive parents you can still feel like you've made the wrong choice, he wants to do everything he can to help you through and become nothing but yourself.
Seungmin
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After top surgery you were silently recovering when seungmin wanted to hug you but you kept saying no, then when you weren't paying attention out of nowhere he tackles you into an embrace but releases when you wince at the sudden pain,
You told him that you didn't tell him you're trans or that you had top surgery was because you thought that he wouldn't look at you the same and start treating you differently.
"I'll always love you baby, just please let me know sooner so I don't hurt you again".
Every morning when you wake up you have a million messages from him at 2am, he'll send you tik toks/memes that he thinks you'll like, even if they get pretty ridiculous you still love them because he thought about you.
Most of the time for your dates you both just vibe with eachother's existence, like just the two of you sitting next to eachother while doing different things is small but to him he's glad that can spend time around you.
When the dysphoria™ hits you just feel kinda pissy and frustrated but never at seungmin, he cheers you up by showing off his puppy like features and cute lil smile.
Jeongin
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After you and him had dinner with your parents he noticed that you didn't look okay during the drive to your house especially when your parents had said things like calling you a name that he didn't recognize,
when he got you home you couldn't handle it anymore and tears began to form in your eyes.
Jeongin came to your side and tried to comfort you as best as he could holding you tight "its gonna be okay hyung, just tell me whats wrong" he gave you a kiss on your forehead.
You told him that you're trans and how your parents never really supported you because of that, and that's why you were nervous about seeing your parents he understood and reassured you that the both of you won't go to them again since they can't respect you.
He'll just give you random things that remind of you and your not sure why but it's one of those sweet little things that jeongin does that you adore.
Jeongin has and will take you everywhere he possibly can, you'll travel with him on tour and do so many different and amazing things around the world and the best part, you do it all with him.
I have been working on this for weeks now because my brain was like 'no don't do that you're just copy and pasting your own work' but I think this came out pretty good so I you enjoyed this
Thanks for reading!
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everyonewooo · 1 year
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Virtual Reality AU
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_Player 107 Wonwoo
_One shot Part 2
Genre: Action/ Science Fiction
Warning: Sadness, Mention of death
Previously..
[Player 108]
You have received a message from Wonwoo.
To be continued…
________________________________________
[Do you accept this message?]
Yes No
A message? From Wonwoo? Why would he send a message when he is right Infront of me?
“Y/N! Are you okay?” He shouts.
Huh?
“Y/N!”
I shake my head. “Yeah, I’m okay!” I shouted back.
Right. We were in the middle of a war between humanoids.
[Do you accept this message?]
Yes No
[ I found a way to get out of here!]
Get out? Of where? The message then disappears like it didn’t exist and I’m back to looking at what was going on Infront of us. I looked back to see we have lost the army of humanoids. I adjusted my grip only to realise I have been holding on too tight.
“Im sorry!” I said.
“For what?”
I lifted my hands.
He grabs onto my hands and put them back to where they were.
“It’s okay. Let’s go home.” He mumbled.
Why did he send me a message?
Back at base.
Shua hyung and Gyu were already back at the base and everyone started to rush to us once we opened the doors.
“Are you guys okay?!” Scoups shouted and rushed to us.
My arm. I needed to hide it. I tugged my sleeve down and hid it behind my back.
“Y/N! Wonwoo! I was so worried!” Joshua ran to us and gave us a hug.
My lips formed a tight smile.
“We’re fine.” I said, giving Wonwoo a nod.
“Hyung!” Mingyu shouted, running to Wonwoo giving him a hug.
Wonwoo patted him on the back.
“Y/N! Are you okay?” He gently grabbed on to both of my arms.
Ouch.
“Yeah, I’m okay Gyu, don’t worry. Here’s the piece.” He hugged and released me.
“Y/N got it!” Mingyu shouted.
Everybody clapped and cheered.
“Great job Y/N!” Jeonghan shouted.
“You did it again!” Minghao said patting my head.
“That’s our girl!” Seungkwan cheered.
“Wooooo!” Dk shouted.
“Thanks Y/N.” Woozi said giving me a nod and a smile.
I smiled back, turning my head to the side.
I’m proud of you, He mouthed.
I smiled. Thanks Woo. I mouthed back.
“I’m gonna head… to my room now…” I tipped toed out of the room, everyone too busy to notice, trying to fix the piece with their mission.
A nice shower, is all I needed.
I stripped out of my dirty clothes and got into the hot shower. Damn, my arm hurts. I then only realised it was a bigger graze with more blood than I thought. That’s gonna need some bandaging. Another battle scar. I washed my hair, dried it and got out of the shower changing into a new set of clothes.
I looked into the mirror and my wound and it looks pretty bad. It’ll pass. I dried my hair and opened the bathroom door stepping out.
A guy was sitting on my bed.
What the who?
He looked up and I froze.
“Hey,” A familiar deep tone said.
His black hair falling on his face, his squared frame glasses, soft eyes , his thin lips forming a small smile.
Wonwoo sitting there on my bed, holding a medical kit.
I blinked. He was wearing a big white T-shirt with brown pants fumbling with the box. Looks like he changed too.
“Hey, what are you doing here? ” I snapped out from my thoughts and walked towards the hanging rack to hang my towel distracting myself.
“I’m here to help you with your wounds.”
I stopped.
“You didn’t have to Woo,”
“I want to. Now sit.” He patted the bed.
Why in the world? I slowly and carefully walked to the bed and sat down until we were face to face with each other, hiding my arm.
“Let me see Y/N.” He said gently, eyes pleading.
I hesitated. He’s probably going to nag at me for not being careful.
He gently grab my wrist pulling me closer to him showing my graze arm.
I flinched.
“Y/N,” he shook his head pushing my sleeve up. “This is bad, how come you never told us?”
He looks up, and in his eyes he looked hurt.
“It’s not that bad,” I lied. I looked down at my arm. “It would heal on its own.”
He started dabbing the wound, cleaning it with cotton buds quietly.
Now I felt bad.
I stared at him gently helping me fix my wounds, not saying a single word.
“I’m sorry,”
“For what?” He stopped and looked up.
“For.. not being careful, and for leaving you in the van with Shua hyung.” I muttered.
He smiled. “Accidents happen. You were just trying to protect me, I’m relieve that you’re safe.”
My heart starts beating faster. Why is he making me feel this?
Is it weird that I somehow wanted more of this?
The other members cared for me, like brothers and family, but it has always been Wonwoo, who always had my back, who was always there to care for me, who always make me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling.
I want to tell him about the message, about it saying there’s a way to get out of somewhere. But, it would ruin the moment, wouldn’t it? And for once, I wanted to just leave things the way it is, and enjoy the moment I had now. It has never been great ever since the world turned upside down.
“I never said this yet but, thank you Woo for saving my ass back there. I thought I lost you. ”
“I’m not going anywhere Y/N, you know that. I’ll always be here.” He wrapped the bandage and patted my head gently. “Get some rest, you did well today.”
He tucked me into bed. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted to sleep as he gently kissed my forehead.
I don’t know whether he will be always here.
________________
The next few days went by, and I started looking for clues about the message I received. One day I decided to confront Minghao about it.
After that day, Wonwoo was more quiet than usual, even though he has always been quiet.
“You received a message from Wonwoo?” Minghao asked confused. “How?”
“I have no idea, it was like a glitch.”
“Have you asked him about it? By the way, what happened to the two of you?”
“Nothing. Nothing happened. And no, I did not ask him yet.” I sighed.
“You need to tell him Y/N. But in the meantime, I can do some research and help you find the source of it.”
“Thank you, Minghao.” I gave him a hug.
“Guys we have a meeting, Jun called us.” Vernon said.
________________
“We’re running out of food supplies.”
“I’ll go get it.” Wonwoo said without hesitation.
“I’ll go with him.” Mingyu said.
“Sorry Gyu we need you here to discuss on the next mission.” Woozi said.
Before my mind could register my mouth did what it wanted on its own. “ I’ll go with him.”
“No,”
“Why?”
“No.”
Silence filled the room.
“We will go with them.” Hoshi and DK said.
“Okay, me, Mingyu, Joshua, and Dino would go out to search for more weapons.” Scoups announced.
“Let’s go guys, we can do it!” Seungkwan shouts.
Wonwoo takes his rifle and walks out of the room coldly.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jun asked.
“I’ll go check on him.” Dk said as he rushed off.
I went back to my room to pack, gearing up on weapons and grenades just in case. I clipped my hair back and secure my bandage. My wound was healing well. I carried the backpack and walked out the door.
“Are you guys ready?”
Everyone nodded. Weapons strapped to our bodies.
“Let’s head out.” Wonwoo said.
We drove to a huge abandoned department store. Entering quietly, with Wonwoo in the front, Hoshi behind him, me in the centre and DK at the back. Lights hung from the ceiling. Some bodies were on the ground, dead. Shelves were down, everything was everywhere on the ground.
“Clear. Quickly grab all we can.” Wonwoo commanded.
We took out our bags and starting stuffing any food and medical things we could find and get.
“Stay close.” Wonwoo said to me as he surveyed the area.
Just as I turned to a corner, I saw someone walking pass quickly. I held up my rifle, pointing it straight ahead. I slowly and quietly stepped closer to where I saw the person walking pass. I turned to the corner and held up my weapon ready to shoot as I saw him glitch.
He become transparent and blue and then he came back to being there. He did not have a gun, and he just stood there. Then, my surroundings started to glitch. The department store started to glitch.
Things were there, and then they weren’t. Lights flickered, the floor started to shift, I started stumbling back, and soon everything started to glitch Infront of me. Colours glitched as I hit a shelve and sat on the ground, my hand hitting my head getting it to stop because it started hurting. I was getting dizzy and I saw someone running towards me asking me to wake up.
[Player 108 your time is running out]
You received a message from Wonwoo.
Open
[The glitch is the only way out.]
This is going on longer than I thought :)
Part 3?
Read part 1 here 👇🏻
Author note: I was listening to this song while writing the scene of Wonwoo and Y/N. Do listen to it even if you don’t understand, it gives the vibe to the story.
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dreamsy990 · 2 years
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What fandoms are you in? Also, who are your favorite characters from them?
UHHHHH OKAY HI UH
so when you say fandoms im in i interpret that as like. have liked it enough to look at fanmade content and/or have made some for myself
so uhhh
im wings of fire TRASH. and wof has so many characters so yknow im just gonna pic a favorite from each arc so fuck it.
for arc one gotta say scarlet, shes a bitch and i love her for it. peril is a CLOSE second but most of her good stuffs actually in arc 2. her book is just hilarious and oml that scene where scarlet comes back and is laughed at by a bunch of small children??????? iconic. also thorn, shes really funny just throughout the whole series and the quote "everyone whos not me GET OUT" will never fail to make me laugh
arc two uhhm. im a big moon fan but i kind of. love all the mcs. theyre all hilarious and wholesome and i wanna give them all a pat on the head. qiblis cute. hes gay for winter. winter is also cute. its probably winter. winter is my favorite. OH ALSO CHAMELEON-
and i guess??? my favorite is snowfall????? i loved her book it was so good. normally my favorites are protagonists since they get the most screentime but snowfall just HITS DIFFERENT YKNOW???? sundew is also good love her.
uhhmmm im also into deltarune obviously. as for my favorite, you know it's quite complex as- who am i kidding its kris. look at them, my little skrunkly scrimblo. queen is a vvvvv close second because whats not to love. seam is third because enby old scruffy cat how am i not supposed to love them.
detroit become human is one of the fandoms im in rn. i played it in 2019, forgot about it for a bit, then remembered it existed a few times and replayed bits of it, then finally this year i did a whole fucking replay and im going back to 100% it soo. uh yeah. connor is cute. if we're going off what the fandom did to dbh, then tinas also really amazing. but like purely dbh canon, then connor
warrior cats. berrynose. no further questions.
ive been kinda in and out of danganronpa, but i still really like it so ill put it on here. of each game, my favorites are makoto, hajime, shuichi or kaito, and komaru. i uh. i did say i like protagonists earlier. if we're limiting me to NOT protagonists, then probably yasuhiro, nagito, kaito, and uhhhh... masaru? i keep forgetting who was even IN udg like dude. that game was a trip and i blacked out for half of it
i loved erased, tried to get into the fandom, then i realized a lot of people shipped satoru and kayo and i dipped. but i was there for like 8 seconds so its here. uhm. i like the candyman. i think his name was like yasuhiro sometehing or other (edit: looked it up, i actually remembered right!!! vv proud of myself)
hypothetically im in the undertale fandom. but thats just because i like deltarune and half the fandom content for it is also coincidentally undertale. in theory my favorite character is muffet and in practice its chara
edit: forgot gravity falls. i like ford hes cool i wish he had more screentime
and thats all i can remember right now!!!
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aphrorite · 2 years
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-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #3 !! 🌸💗🍥
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૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘
⋆ ✧₊゚may 14th 2022 🍧🌺🦩 ⊹ɞ
yawwwwn. hi diary! its 1 am but im writing bebauc i feel liek it ! 💤 🌥
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today wa s a good day, you known? i id idnt do much bt ,, i neeed ed this saturyda so then tmr i can go wam ham on my homeworks. it wwass soooooo sunny nand iw anted to go for a walk twic but onyl got chanc to go for 1, and i wore a super duper pretty polka dot black dress and i had matchin black polka dot flip flops to go w it ! i wore a stra w hat too when iw ent outside cos ir was so hot out. i felt pretty and also very comfy. i woek eup around 10 as well so im happy baout that because usually i wake up late later hehe. 😝
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SEEEE !!! dress n flip flop magch tehehe. this phtoo taken on my walk! 🩰🌟✨
i ha d last night nugget for breakfast n then i had some OJ! ir emember seienf a post tht had “drink som milk or OJ” and usually aft i et breakfas id hav like agua so OJ was new <3
i had a bit of a moment whehr iw d trying to flshh the toluet n then THE FLOORW ENT 💥BOBOB 💥MBO💥 BBOON 💥 BOOOM 💥 n lke rumbled ))): i call my sister hpstair and she tell me to ring mom so then mam say 2 t ur n the water off on it bc mybe she didnt turn it all the way n then it wasnt rumble no more . this cos we got a new toilet n also hav plumbing leak problem , house old !
i made som goodnote schedule for msyelf instead of using google spreadhddeg so this eman that i cna get more productiv again ! i havent done so in 3 months so i thin ktnis is my turning point , yeah, go me ! *imaginary pat*
i spen t some tiw w my ssiter playin project sekai , sims 4 (i revamp her chars, ) walk w my siste routside n found a pretty pink flower , my cat just giving him cuddles n lettinghim enjoy the f reshh air, browose shopping for a teensy bit, listneed to blackspeakz on youtube, made a regressing plylsit, and msootly chilled !
i also played alittleeee bit of roblox and made some softlien clothing ! im proud of msyelf because yesterday my crwiagons werent up to par. i wantned to hangout w my one acquaintance but he wasnt online , so thts ok ! here is what i buot in sims 4 when my ssuter let me use computer when she went sleep,
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my othwr cfriend msged me this morning on dizzy n it made merlly happy cos he acc show up in my dream last night )): n it wa sa happy dream , so then for him to send me a dm saying “wakey wakey!” n i see it in the morning , i feel is coincidence ! 😵😮😮
i also feel like agedre n half regressing has helped talk to myself more positively. its very difficult to talk to myself like a friend so when i talk to myself like an encouraging sweet parent, it works. im more softer and i embrace my sensitivity, and i think this in all will help me ! of course i still feel the shame of it not being the norm or still have my negative intrusive thoughts, and i know my intrusive thoughts arent something i can necessarily 'delete' or 'remove,' and are something to tame, though i think agedre is a big baby step towards a healthy coping mechanism, as even so back then my self-talk has never been very positive, and even when i was positive, id beat myself down constantly (and still struggle with this), and that positivity would lean towards toxic. im proud of myself. <3
anyway, i did lot selfcare and followd my goodnote scheduule , and tmr i make to do list for homeworks. tmr i shoul make foods, b productiv, and sleep on time !!!! hav good day diary, muwah muwah 💕
p.s it also rained today ! 🌧🌧🌧
╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-
╰┈➤ sweetheart xx
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tianhai03 · 2 years
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had some free time but didnt feel like doing work either so i did a.... realism practice??? with dante + my usual style for comparison
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businessbois · 3 years
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“you’re the most orphan child i’ve ever met” an attempt at analysis of c!phil and c!tommy’s relationship
this is entirely an analysis of c!phil and c!tommy’s relationship. im not gonna be talking about morals or terrorism or really even wilbur or fundy because those are whole other points. just these two and the convoluted abyss of “canon”
title quote from technoblade here
manburg war- november 16th
doomsday- january 6th
butchers army day- december 16th
i mean phil’s first day, the manburg war, itself implies a lot of history and relationships with these characters. tommy shouts “philza minecraft” in joy and recognition when he sees him. phil says these two lines that confuse the hell out of me. “whatever tommy and tubbo do, i’ll follow them” and “i gotta take care of my kids.” again, “my kids” doesn’t have to mean biologically, he can just be a father figure, see them as his kids, but i suppose we retcon these? because of the relationship they imply that doesn’t really line up? “i’ll follow them” is a statement of devotion, loyalty. i’m not saying his goals couldn’t have changed from these, i’m saying that in order to have this goal of “following tommy and tubbo through whatever” in the first place, he’d have to really love and care about these kids. that doesn’t line up with how people are claiming he doesn’t know them or owe them anything. im okay with retconning these because this was when i think cc!phil still believed the family dynamic was canon.
but the thing about decanonizing something big like that, is that, okay, maybe we can get rid of the conversations and lines, but then we have physical things like friendship emeralds and tommy slippers. he visits tommy in exile and gifts him these things. a friendship emerald isn’t something you give to a random kid, it’s something gifted to ghostbur—his son—and techno—his best friend. i guess you could say he was just being nice to this strange kid? but then like, he could’ve stopped at the slippers? why the emerald? the emerald is a Big Thing, no? and we can’t decanonize or retcon, like, all of phil and tommy’s interactions, especially something with physical items involved because that’s beyond spoken lines and can’t be dismissed as easily. but then it also leaves us with this utterly confusing narrative. there’s the line from the butcher army day, “carls okay. technos okay. tommys okay. thats all i wanted to know.” do we decanonize that too?? it’s a statement of deep care “that’s all i wanted to know” and he includes tommy in it. (tommyinnit haha) with interactions and lines like this, you can’t just say “they’re not biologically related, so they don’t know each other and phil doesn’t have to care about this kid.” because he did at some point. a lot. and these lines prove it. you can’t decanonize every moment like this. (i mean, i guess you can, i cant stop you) not when tommy and phil’s interactions are littered with it. not when tommy keeps a friendship emerald in his special chest right next to phukkit (a prized gift from tubbo) to this day. 
moving on to tommy.
cc!tommy is very smart and very good at what he does. he’s studying film in college, he got a 9 on his english gcse, he’s got every cc he’s come into contact with singing about how clever he is. he makes character choices deliberately. i don’t wanna write off too much of this as him just doing bits and faffing around because tommy’s literally always in character. i am down to decanonize the supposed mishap of shouting phil’s name when getting locked in prison, though honestly, it doesn’t necessarily seem like an out of character action for tommy who has a history of calling for phil when he feels upset. see: “where’s dadza?” (this instance is strange too because “dadza” is a strange slip up to make. it feels purposeful. i don’t think cc!tommyinnit calls his friend “dadza” outside of roleplay. and honestly the whole delivery and head shaking is very much in-a-character) and @/my-stupid-fandoms said some smart stuff about it here. but anyways, sorry, i’ll take what’s surely canon. in the manburg war we have “AND PHIL’S HERE,” incredibly excited from him and tubbo. familiarity. they know him. look up to him. we have the heartbroken "philza minecraft?"s from doomsday, indications that he trusted phil and feels hurt and betrayed. then, we have some lines that are very interesting coming from Big Man “i raised myself” TommyInnit which are as follows “I want to go ‘Philza Minecraft, I built that hotel.’ Even though it’s a lie, it will feel true.” “And then I get to go ‘Philza Minecraft, I made this house, I made this house. Are you impressed?’ And he’ll go ‘Yes.’ And then he’ll pat me on the back and then he’ll teach me how to ride a bike.” “TELL PHILZA” “AREN’T YOU PROUD?” tommy loves phil. wants phil to be impressed with him. wants phil to be proud of him. during his encounter with the egg, he says “it didn’t hurt any of the other boys. it didn’t hurt phil.” he wants phil to be safe. cares about his well being even if this is not reciprocated by phil. he follows his “it didn’t hurt techno” with an “not that i care about techno” but there is no such denial for philza. and now, immediately after being dead and pieced back together, tommy asks after five of his friends. phil is third after tubbo and jack who are tommy’s Boys™. phil is also called for the most, four times to tubbo’s three and everyone else’s one. it does seem like everyone got the memo about phil not being tommys father except tommy. 
there’s a theory around that like, wilbur found tommy and brought him home and so tommy grows up looking up to phil but phil doesn’t reciprocate. this gets to keep the kind of found family on tommy’s end but maintains the “loosely connected strangers” thing for phil. i think maybe this holds more credence than anything else, but also, “loosely connected strangers” just doesn’t add up with the stuff i’ve mentioned before: friendship emeralds, “tommys okay,” there had to be some reciprocity to their familial-ish (or at least caring) relationship. he visited him in exile. he gave him the emerald. he said all those lines. there was a relationship there. of care. of trust. where tommy saw him as someone to look up to, to protect him. at any rate, i like the theory and since we simply have No Backstory for canon sbi at all, it works just fine even if it still just doesn’t fit.
closing
honestly i don’t know what this is. this is all the evidence, all the information i have. there’s no way they were strangers. tommy obviously definitively looks up to and cares about phil. this was reciprocated to some degree beyond “i kind of know you.” i’m a big defender of c!tommyinnit and that surely comes across here. i mostly just did this to get everything i have about c!phil and c!tommy’s out and to figure out what i actually make of it and all the confusion about it. this is here and the clips are linked, draw your own conclusions that are smarter and more concise than mine.
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goldentsum · 4 years
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━ jealousy
REQUESTS: (seperately) bokuto, hinata, and akaashi x jealous s/o. say that she isn’t a very jealous person to begin with but there’s another girl who seemed to have taken a liking to the boys and she doesn’t like it. add some angst if you will :) hopefully ends with some fluff. 
🎕 asked by: nonnie 🎕
CHARACTERS: bokuto koutarou, hinata shouyou, and akaashi keiji
GENRE: angst, fluff
AUTHOR’S NOTE: i don’t know if i did it right but D: i’m rlly active rn cus im excited idk why-- also hinata has a lot of dialogue in this one
━ bokuto ♡
bokuto is a jealous baby owl and you know it,, know it too well... he gets pouty if your attention is elsewhere even for a minute!
you, on the other hand, is as cool as a cucumber. well, that what it looks like anyway. 
you get jealous quite a lot, to be honest, but your pride won’t live if you show it so you just try to shrug it off every time
but when kou gets a little too much attention it pisses you the fuck off 
you get snappy and your mood is down for the day but kou is always on his way to make it better~ 
the baby owl may be oblivious but when the topic is about you, he pays attention to your every movement and to what makes you tick
so when someone!! a person you hate because of their flirty attitude and rude remarks gets a little too close to your baby--
oh, it's about to go down!
you’re in the cafeteria sitting on one of the free tables, waiting for your hyperactive baby owl, when you see a certain someone clinging to Bokuto and pressing their chest against his arm
aND WHAT PISSES YOU OFF MORE IS THE OBLIVIOUS SMILE ON BOKUTO’S FACE
you turned around and looked at the juice box you bought for bokuto and grabbed it roughly, stabbing the straw to drink it yourself
you knew how popular bokuto was and how ‘plain’ you were but it still hurt when people never respecting bo’s personal space and your relationship as you two were publicly open with your relationship
akaashi, who was lagging behind bokuto, saw this and quickly rescued the dense captain making a certain someone whines about it but akaashi paid no mind and dragged bo away and towards your table
“hey, babe!” 
you looked at him and rolled your eyes, scoffing a little with the straw still on your mouth as you proceed to ignore him
bokuto’s eyes widen at that and sat closer to you, leaning closer and putting his head on your shoulder, nuzzling at you. 
this usually makes you break but nope, your pride said nope and you ate lunch with bo pouting and whining to you. akaashi who watched the whole scene sighed.
the next time you saw bokuto was at dismissal with him racing to your classroom the moment the bell rang. he went inside when your teacher dismissed you and waited on the side for you even though you were ignoring him. but what slightly shocked you was the serious face he has on. 
when everyone else was gone and you were about to go to, bokuto grabbed your hand and made you stay
“what’s wrong? please talk to me...” He whispered, hugging you close to his body. 
you pouted at that, the gesture cracking your cold demeanor quickly. you sighed and hugged back the sweet boy.
“i’m sorry for ignoring you, kou...” 
you felt his smile on your skin making you smile too
“It’s okay but please explain...” 
his innocent words and eyes made you shy. maybe you overreacted a little bit but your ego is too big sometimes
you averted your eyes and looked at your shoes, bokuto’s arms still around you. 
“cus... you let (h/n) touch you and you were smiling too!” 
you whined a bit, looking up at him. his surprised expression then turned into relief and he started laughing
“who knew you were the jealous type too, (Y/n)!” 
you pouted and hid your face on his chest, 
“shut up... i’m human too, ya know... and you’re not one to talk, you’re the one who always gets jealous..”
“That’s cus my girlfriend is too pretty and too many guys have their eyes on you!”
you scoffed playfully at that, not having the energy to remind bokuto that those guys were just asking for some notes or something to you, knowing well that it would brew into bokuto pulling up his ‘facts’ and arguments on you again that those guys were unto something...
“shut up, you owl”  
“your owl~” 
━ hinata ♡
this small bean is also one of the easily jealous type and he creates a safe and danger distance around you in his mind
there’s only a certain distance a guy can come close to you and if that line gets crossed, he goes pROTECTIVE MODE
tanaka and noya are proud of their pupil as they watch him circle around you like a rabid dog or crow?
he is always with you! ALWAYS! And he always buys you some cold drink or if you don’t bring lunch, he lets you share his bento with the courtesy of his mother as he asks her to make a bigger lunch for him when he knew that you don’t really bring your own lunch.
so when it was lunchtime and hinata was nowhere in sight, that worries you a LOT
you run to the courtyard where you two usually hangs out with kageyama but was surprised to only see Kageyama and his milk box
jogging up to the tall male and you asked him about shoyou and you heard an answer you were not expecting to hear
“some fancy pink letter asked him to go to the rooftop, it said that they wanted to say something to that tangerine” 
(y/n).exe has stopped working
kageyama looked at you with a quirked brow, still sipping on the milk box, he poked you with a curious look
“why did you let him go, you idiot!” you said, surprising kageyama who pouted and glared at you
“why the hell are you yelling? he’s just meeting someone!” 
“you dense blueberry!” you shouted and hit kageyama on the shoulder with a light scowl
kageyama was about to retort when a familiar childish growling caught his attention as you both looked at the side and saw a glaring hinata racing towards you two at a fast rate
“why you kageyama--! don’t get too close to my girlfriends!”
hinata slotted himself between you two and started bickering with the tol blueberry
you sighed at the scene in front of you and a light pink object caught your attention. there it was, a pink chocolate bar in hinata’s hand as he waved it around, trying to punch kageyama. 
you frowned at it and started walking away, leaving kageyama and hinata at the courtyard. hiding from hinata, you ate lunch in the bathroom stall as icky feelings start to grow.
after lunch, you quickly run to your classroom wanting to avoid seeing hinata at the moment 
but luck wasn’t at your side when Hinata dragged you off and got inside the janitor’s closet with you. 
“hinata, what are you doing! lunch is already finished, i’m gonna be late for class!” 
you tried to leave the small room but hinata closed the door when you tried to open it
“no! you left me with kageyama all lunch break!”
“i-i had a stomach ache and went to the nurse’s office--”
“i went there too, you weren’t in there” 
an awkward silence filled the small room while you looked at hinata with surprise
“i-it doesn’t matter--”
“It does matter! If you feel the need to lie to me then it’s a big matter!” hinata said, frowning at you 
you sighed and let hinata hold your hand
“please tell me what’s wrong” 
“i heard you got confessed to”
hinata blew a fuse at that and started waving his hands furiously, “h-how’d you know?! i didn’t accept it, i promise--!” 
“you didn’t?” 
hinata stopped for a moment and looked at you, eyebrows furrowing
“yeah, i got myself the best girlfriend... why would i wanna change that?” 
you went closer to Hinata, letting your body hit his and hugged him
“i-i’m sorry... it’s just that, i thought you would find someone better and leave me...” 
“I WOULD NEVER! You’re the best girlfriend in the whole wide world, (Y/n)!”
“You’re the best boyfriend too, little tangerine” 
━━ akaashi ♡
let’s be real here, you’re definitely the jealous one in the relationship. I mean having a boyfriend who’s too pretty to comprehend and easily attracts a lot of attention can make you like that. but you hide it pretty well, well most of the time anyway...
akaashi always ALWAYS pays attention to you and knows everything that can trigger you to become sad, angry, jealous, and happy
he always makes sure that you’re always fine and happy, that you’re comfortable and content
we stan the perfect boyfie 🥺
bUT he can be quite dense sometimes when it’s not about you or volleyball.. fUKURODANI PPL ARE DENSE 
girls would always flock his classroom before you can get there, snacks and treats in their hands to give it to akaashi and being the petty little gremlin that you are, you were pouty
akaashi sighed because it’s always either you were pouty or bokuto is and sometimes the worst-case scenario happened where both of you are pouty at the sAME TIME! 
akaashi= Mom Daddy
you reached our final form of pouty when you saw a certain someone a bitch dragged akaashi to talk to him or whatever and being the curious thing you are, you followed them and hid behind the vending machine, listening to their convo
“you know, your girlfriend is cheating on you, right?” 
wHY THAT BITCH! She just lied like it’s her common language wtf! 
you prayed that your baby boo won’t believe her cus YOU ARE NOT CHEATING ON HIM! why tf would you cheat on him when you hit the jackpot? tf
“and you must know that spreading rumors and lies about a person can take you off the first string in the track team right?” 
oOF--! YOUR BOYFIE REALLY POPPED OFF HUH
you snickered behind your hands, listening to the lying snake stutter a complain but akaashi cut her off 
“if this is all then I’m going now but if i hear any rumor circling around (y/n), i won’t hesitate to take action myself.” 
the snake scoffed at that and walked away, stomping 
there was silence for a moment but then keiji called out, surprising you
“i know you’re here, (y/n)” 
you stiffened at that and moved away from your hiding spot while coming up with excuses
“i-i wasn’t doing anything! she just dragged you off so i followed--!” 
akaashi smiled softly at you, walking closer and patted your head gently making you feel flustered.
“i know, let’s go? you must be hungry” 
“you won’t leave me for her, right, keiji?” 
akaashi shook his head at your question, a small smile on his face and looked at you, letting his hand fall and held your smaller hand in his
“it’s not like you’ll let me leave”
“HEY! you make it seem like i’m holding you as a hostage or something!”
“hmm”
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end of the year sap post
so another year has come and gone, and it has been....quite a lot, to say the least. and im not going to get into a god-awful amount of detail, but lets just say that it was very stressful when it was stressful, and sometimes enjoying really fun things was hard to do. i wrote a lot this year, now that i think about it. i started writing for different fandoms, i picked up several hyperfixations (and some havent dropped off yet) i created two wonderful brand new characters, who i love very much. and im really proud of myself for it. 
 im usually really bad at keeping up with stuff, and being consistent, but i really think that i did really well this year in writing, and creating new things and such. i go through hobbies like candy, but writing has stuck like glue lol. i went through a lot of really Not Good stuff this year, both in and out of fandom, and i just think that me being able to say “im still me” and stick to my values is really good. im really happy with what i created though. i dont compliment myself a lot, but im giving myself a pat on the back, and a big fat hug for everything that i’ve been through, and that i still have the courage to be here. and still loving my friends and family, and loving my hobbies. im really proud of myself, truly.
i couldnt have done a lot of that with my mutuals, both ones i talk to, and the ones that i dont anymore. theyre exceptionally kind, and funny, and keep me going. i couldnt be more thankful for their presence in my life.
(yes i will be complimenting my closer mutuals, they all deserve it)
@super-unpredictable98  she’s literally amazing. writes so much good stuff for so many medias!! flor has super good anime recommendations, and she never fails to make me fall in love with a character. i love screaming about all might with her lol. i love her OC’s. (JJ would love to be friends with Alma). i can be found rereading her fics close to daily bc theyre literally so good, and when i have brainrot for a character that she’s written, i go straight to her masterlist.
@bisexualnathanyoung ry is super sweet :). i love talking to them (even if it’s just me screaming in the tags most of the time) i like hearing about their thoughts on stuff, and even tho i wanna punch him, their love for nathan young is incredible and unmatched. me 🤝 ry *tired of people in our respective states being rude about COVID stuff*
@badsext i love her so much :). somehow a lot of our conversations end up being about food (and make each other hungry). i love hearing about different stuff thats been going on in her life, and she also has really good show and movie recommendations. her short stories are phenomenal btw. very funny and nice :)
@magic-multicolored-miracle we dont talk much, BUT i really appreciate shye’s presence. she has really good taste in music, and works very hard. she made me fall in love with derek sandoval, and every chapter “idiot affectionate” has a deathgrip on me, as well as any updates about olive and jess’ livelihood. i love her posts about mass effect too (even tho im lost half the time lol) extremely talented.
@joz-stankovich got me hooked on bakugou and he has a fucking chokehold on me. (if u dont call him off, im gonna log him off of the earth permanently/j). they’re super talented. i was very excited (and still am) when they started having brainrot for BNHA stuff bc i was like “ah, another pal to share class 1-a thoughts with”. theyre also super duper talented and their writing is g r e a t. i love talking about country! kirishima with them, and art student! bakugou. brainrot hours? brainrot hours. also really good at art like keep some talent for the rest of us/lh.
@the-freckled-luba  we dont talk very much, but from june to mid september, the loki series was our braincell (as well as mobius), and our braincell ONLY. i love seeing the stuff you tag me in, and i really appreciate your good vibes! very sweet individual :)
@hucklebunny very talented human being right here! their art is super impressive!! also i love their text posts about their dogs and cool things. it’s very neat! we mostly talk through tags, and through the server, but i love said interactions lol. i love hearing them talk about sean falco, and as of late, the red riding trilogy :). its super cool.
@maerenee930 such a sweetheart! mae is really sweet! she always has nice stuff to say about people! also their earrings are super cool (i want the kool-aid burst ones pls). gives very good advice!! i would give them a hug given the opportunity. has the voice of a literal angel, audition for the voice right now bestie.
@firstpersonnarrator we do not talk much, but i quite literally love her writing so much. simon x billy is a great series, and ive loved reading it so far! i like the comedic and honest feel her writing has to it! its very unique, and is super SUPER good. i enjoy her love for simon lewis as well! very funny individual!
@catsnathan anna is so sweet! we don’t talk very often, it’s mostly in the server, but you always have something nice to say! i admire your love for cats btw, and i hope that you can get one soon! you deserve all the kitties!
@santacarlahorrorshow​ i love seeing ur gifs! they’re always really nice and crisp! and i know that if i ever need something, you’re there :). also i love your stranger things fics and the sirius fic! so much delitches plot, and just mm yes.
@candyclaw literally super cool! we dont talk super often, but i always enjoy it when we do :). they have super cool cosplays, and are a very talented painter! her “shinji in the frog chair” painting is fucking iconic, i laughed, i cried, Y E S. i enjoy seeing them post about evangelion stuff (bc that show genuinely fucked me up, same with the movies, i cant look thru the evangelion tag) it means i get free evangelion related stuff to think and talk about. also deltarune chapter 2 came out this year, and seeing them reblog stuff about it made my brain go brrrr bc i am shaking hands with them in solidarity for that game series.
@salvador-daley we dont talk very often, however its always fun when we do! very talented writer. salv is also very very funny! i remember seeing a new chapter of a fic, then i realized i hadnt read the previous ones in depth and went ham over on ao3. 
@frogs--are--bitches we also dont talk very often, but mickey is a very cool individual! they have a really good sense of not only style, but also humor! no but for real, hand over entire closet.
@forenschik loki brainrot pals. we dont talk very often, but its always really pleasant! very talented painter as well (i think about the shoes you did and im baffled at how good they are) also being a chemist is such a good job! its super cool to me!
@seancekitsch we also dont talk alot, but her fashion sense is also super duper cool! i still have not watched the lost boys, but i do enjoy seeing you post about the witcher. (i also have not watched that show). very talented writer!!! glad to chat with her whenever i get the chance :)
@neuroticpuppy we dont speak very often. its just me leaving tags on stuff lol. very cool person tho!! i enjoy seeing her reblog stuff whenever it pops up, and it’s very nice vibes.
dont feel bad if i left u out, i promise it wasnt on purpose (unless it was in which, i hope you’re doing well and drinking water. also i never stopped caring, contrary to what you may think.). but i did some good things. and also some really bad things that i’ll never forgive myself for. i cant say im a better person or anything bc i dont know if i experienced much mental growth, really. i learned more things, sure. but idk if too terribly much has changed. 
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im forever grateful for my mutuals’ presence. and im extremely thankful for the time ive spent with all of yall so far. you make everything a lot better for me. and im sure you do the same for other individuals in your lives. im very proud of each and every one of you. for what you all have done this year, and every other year you’ve spent alive and breathing. i love yall. and you all matter to me more than you can ever imagine. So here’s to next year, and whatever it may bring!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ~Ellie
27 notes · View notes
daegall · 3 years
Text
End of a day
pairing: Na Jaemin x reader
Genre: fluff, angst (?)
🎶: End of a day by Kim Jonghyun
Word count: 2.3k words (more than i planned jgsjjf)
Warnings: umm lots of fluff?? And sad jaemin :((
Network/s: @neoturtles
A/n: JFNSJFBJWBF UGHHHHH TUMBLR 😩😩😩😩 STOP BEING A BITCH PLS 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS IS HE SECOND TIME IM POSTING THIS 😃 enjoy it tho :)) it’s better than all my other works tbh so dint be too disappointed if you check the others :’)
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Thousands of people work every day, tired and upset, and yet they get up the next day to do the exact same thing. That’s how life is. It seems like nobody has a problem with that, maybe it’s because they’ve become so accustomed to it, or maybe they don’t want to come out pathetic and weaker to others, but they just keep going. It’s amazing, really, the way the mind works. Some people want to come off as strong and hard to read, and others just want to make friends and have fun.
Perhaps you were both, but today, you were none. All you felt was tiredness and stress. All you wanted to do was rip off these painfully uncomfortable clothes and curl into bed next to Jaemin.
At last, you reach your home you share with Jaemin, opening the door as he texted you he would leave it unlocked for you. Sluggishly and with no care in the world, you fling your shoes somewhere around the shoe rack, launching your bag to the couch, “I’m home!” no reply. With a huff, you make a beeline towards your shared room, emotions getting worse with every step you take. You twist the knob to your room, pushing it open, “Jaemin, you in he-”
Reach out and cover my neck
Please massage my shoulder a little further down
All your moodiness fades away when you spot your tired boyfriend quietly sniffling into his palms, seating looking too uncomfortable, even the sight of it throws your clothes into despair. “Jaemin...” you slowly inch towards him, heart shattering when he lets out a sob. He’s still in his work suit, something you loved on him, but now it just looked like it was suffering him. “Jaemin, baby,” you gently place your hand on his messy hair, cooing and running your fingers through his delicate strands when he leans into your touch.
“Come on, let’s go change. You feel uncomfortable, don’t you?” You beckon him softly, picking his face up and swiping a thumb over his wet cheek. He gives you a tight nod, squeezing the last few tears out before standing up, enveloping your hand around his. This is what he came home for. Your comfort and reassurance.
Even if the sun has already risen at the end of a tiring day
Now that I close my eyes
Just when you unbutton the last button of his jacket and throw it somewhere behind you, Jaemin can’t help but lean down to place his lips softly onto yours with care. His lips are salty from his tears, but you really don’t mind when his kisses are so soft, unlike all the other teasing and a bit rough ones he gives in the day. You pull away slowly, grinning up at him. He finally feels what he’s been longing the whole day, relaxation and tranquility. It feels so perfect and so… you.
Within 5 minutes, all uncomfortable work clothes are long forgotten, only soft big tees that envelop you and lul you slowly to sleep. That’s what you plan to do, right after Jaemin’s done in the bathroom and is next to you.
By the time your eyes are drooping close, the bathroom door is open, and you spot Jaemin shaking his hands dry and wiping them on his shirt. He instantly climbs in next to you, rushing into burying his face into your neck snugly.
On my day when I close the door later than others
Playfully tickling the earlobe
Even if we've been in a different world all day
Because we are always together at the end of the day
“Hard day?” You mumble into his forehead, chuckling lightly when he nods his head aggressively. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin sighs, “Not really. It’s just the usual, given more work than the others. It’s just frustrating me,” You let out a thoughtful hum, nodding and threading your fingers into his messy hair, “So it all finally got to you?” He nods once again, this time a bit softer as he pulls you closer to his body.
“That’s good to hear, that you didn’t suppress your feelings, I mean. It’s been so long since you’ve actually relaxed.” Jaemin grins, you can read him so well, it’s amazing how you can determine how he’s feeling just by how he eats his breakfast or how affectionate he’s been.
Your little shoulders, your two little hands
At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket
Good job, you worked really hard
It makes him guilty, how you know every single part of him, and yet he doesn’t even try to know your small habits and actions you do. But then, he knows about your slow steps in the evening when you come back home, and the way your frown turns up quickly, almost too quickly, too fake. ‘Oh my god, you haven’t been good either,’ he thinks, as he squeezes you to him, as if trying to get rid of all the guilt he felt.
“Have you been okay?”
You are alarmed at the sudden question, tilting your head down to give him a confused look, “What?” Jaemin places his hand on your face, this time it’s him who’s stroking your tear away. You didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt the moisture spreading on your cheek.
“You’re not having such a good day either, huh?” Quickly, you try to scoot away from your boyfriend and wipe harshly at your tears, but the second you wipe one aggressively, Jaemin stops you, instead sitting up and wiping them himself, “You’re suppressing it too much.”
A scoff falls from your lips, before you playfully shove him away, “Don’t copy me!” There is a moment of laughter, before the atmosphere falls quiet. Not even a few seconds later, Jaemin is scooping you up to his side, enveloping you into his chest, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” Instead of replying, you soften to his embrace, letting the last few tears finally release.
To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders
I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day
I want to breathe with you naturally
Now you feel it, what Jaemin was yearning for when he came home, serene and pure ease. One of Jaemin’s hands tangles into your hair, fingers prodding soothingly on your scalp, his other hand venturing underneath your shirt to caress your bare skin with care. He was wrong. He did know every part of you, he knew perfectly what you wanted and when to give it. You inch closer to Jaemin, craving more of his warmth and touch.
He only coos at your eagerness, happily letting you cling onto him and bury your form into his hold. He places a tender kiss on your forehead, as if a silent reminder that he loves you. You shift in his hold, “Thank you,” your whisper felt soft, almost soothing against Jaemin’s skin, and he continues pressing quick, loving pecks all over your face, just as much until you giggle out at the lingering sensation when he finally stops.
You finally have the strength to look back up into Jaemin’s eyes, and you find nothing but clarified love and affection, no doubt you have those as well in your own.
Like the water in the bathtub that tightly embraces you
Warmly and completely
At the end of my embarrassing day full of clumsy mistakes
Are you waiting for me to be proud of you
The ambiance is everything soft, it feels comforting and like home, it feels like Christmas night, the ones where you just finally calm down from the buzzing day from before. For a second there, you almost forget about the hectic day you had previously, but honestly, all you want to do is thank it, without it you wouldn’t be here, you would most likely be still working.
Work is a bitch, you conclude, because even when you’re done with it for the day and want to take a break from it, you can’t, you can’t help but worry and think about the next time you encounter it, you want to finish it, but where is the end of it? Work will always be there to bring you back to the reality that you can’t slack off, you’ll get off track.
Now your thoughts were just getting out of hand, and you really hate work now.
“Baby, you’re overthinking, I can tell.” you shake your head, getting rid of the thoughts, “Sorry,” Jaemin chuckles lightly, caressing your cheek dearly, “No, I kind of am too.”
The conversation ends there, it’s like you don’t want to ruin the peaceful little aura you’ve created, opting to keep it as long as you can. Jaemin decides to revive the conversation, sliding down to relax and lay down on the bed, bringing you with him, “Tell me,” His eyes catch yours, almost pleading you to tell him, “Tell me what you were thinking about,”
“Well,” You start, “Work is just so inevitable, and honestly? It’s full of shit.” Jaemin chortles slightly at your choice of words, “Tell me about it.” You give him a mischievous look, “Like, no matter how much you hate it and don’t want it, you’re still gonna have to do it anyway, you basically can’t live without work.”
The small sigh doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaemin, as he pats your back comfortingly. “And whenever you want to just get over with it, you can’t. It’s still gonna be there again the next day or two. I don’t like it at all. Not one bit.”
Your boyfriend almost agrees, but stops. He should encourage you instead, he thinks.
“But hey, a the end if you work hard there will be a present waiting at home for you.” You roll your eyes, thinking it one of his corny jokes, but he continues, “At least that’s what I tell myself to get throughout the day, I get to see you again, that’s practically magical. Coming back home and tumbling into your hugs and kisses are literally soo perfect, it’s surreal, almost.”
Your little shoulders, your two little hands
At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket
Good job, you worked really hard
A big smile spreads across your lips, and you turn your head to look at Jaemin. He smiles at you, affirming his words, softly running his hands through your hair, “I know it’s really cheesy, but it works for me.”
Your perspective might change completely because of that, imagine just a hard ass day of work kicking your ass, tiring, and most likely emotional and full of breakdowns, and in return for dealing with all the shit, you get to relax and spend some time with Jaemin without any work interrupting you two, you might just want that every day.
You give him a bigger, more satisfied smile, “Okay, I’ll do that.”
To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders
I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day
I want to breathe with you naturally
Jaemin is another breed, because who on earth would come up with that idea? Na Jaemin did. While others, and most likely you, think of all the bad things that happened throughout the day, Jaemin thought of the future, what’s happened has happened, if it was shit then so be it. But time with you could never be shit for him, he can’t find a single bit of it boring.
Despite being with him for so long, you can’t help but always be so mesmerized by him, he’s absolutely fascinating. The way he sees life is honestly on another level, a level that you want to reach and a level he will happily help you reach.
From now on, you decide, you will find the goods at the end of the day, you will work hard, maybe even extra hard, just to be happy at the end of the day when you meet Jaemin once again.
I can't cry as much as I want and I can't laugh as much as I want
At the end of a tiring day, if it’s next to you
You scream like a child and laugh like you pass your breath
I meet myself, who has become awkward too
So when the next day arrives, you work super duper hard, staying an extra hour to help Mark with his own work he struggles with (he’s not that good with technology) and even doing extra small tasks your coworkers ask you to do, which they found funny because usually, you reply with an excuse or simply turning it down, this was definitely a good thing.
And when you go back home, this time you’re about 3 times more exhausted, and 10 times more excited to finally meet Jaemin after a long day.
You bust the door open harshly, throwing your shoes messily at the shoe rack with a bright smile on your face.
“I’m home!”
Jaemin’s soft mop of hair peeks out from the kitchen, “Oh? Baby? How was-”
Suddenly, the air in his lungs gets knocked out from force, the force of you rushing into his arms. You feel it. The happiness. Jaemin was right, this feels victorious. You feel like you’ve won in life, you feel so accomplished.
Jaemin sighs, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his forehead on the top of your head, “I’m so proud of you.”
Good job, you worked really ahrd
You are my pride
170 notes · View notes
tomdiddlyumptious · 3 years
Note
Omg can you write a fic where tom x black!reader actress wins an oscar and then tom proposes?
ALSO HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAYYYYY I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHH
STOPPPPPPP I LOVE YOU TOOOOO GOD YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY SO MUCHHH THANK YOUUU IT MEANS SO MUCH TO MEEEE
T.H| IDK WHAT TO CALL THIS
Summary: your a crybaby...oh my goddd! Lets say coronavirus isnt here..okie dokey
Warnings: boogerz (ewwwww) jk.
“And the nominees for best actress are” Harry styles smiled, taking out the paper and accidentally dropping it, a panicked face while he picked it up making everyone laugh a bit.
He cleared his throat again, fixing his tie before repeating himself “And the nominees for best actress are....Scarlet Johansson for black widow 2”
The camera showed her, and she gently waved with a wide smile on her face. “Margot robbie for suicide squad 2”
She bit her lip in eagerness at the camera, her eyebrows raising as she shifted in her seat.
“Viola davis for, how to get away with murder”
She put on a thoughtful smile, looking at her husband.
“And y/n y/l/n!”
Your mouth went agape and tom squeezed your hand, your brother, his wife, and your shared mother dancing in their seats embarrassing you, hiding and going slump in your seat making everyone laugh.
“Also i just wanted to let everyone know” he lifted his finger “y/n is my celebrity crush, always has been. Sorry tom”
Everyone started to giggle again “its fine!” He yelled back making everyone cackle while you laughed yourself.
The drums started, worry and excitement fillong your viens as tom held your hand tight, your brother putting his hands on your shoulders and saying “youre gonna get this. Youve worked so hard and we are so proud of you” and murmering praises as tom gave you kisses on your temple.
“And the winner is.....” harry said, pulling out the other card very, very, slowly.
Hahaha
You thought is was gonna be easy?
I know your drenched in your own sweat
Is it raining on your face yet?
METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS
METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS
METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS
METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS
METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS
METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS METAMORPHOSIS
Oop
Hahahahahaha
Megatron-
Love ya niki-
“The winner is... y/n”
Oh god.
You and tom stood, he pressed his lips hard against yours “you deserve it, so much” you bit your lip and everyone slightly patted your back, your brother a little to hard but tom told you to get your prize, darling.
And zendaya got up to walk you, viola with a smile on her face as she wrapped her arm around yours, walking you down. “I love you so much, god im so proud of you” she smiled, giving you a hug, her face in your neck and you both rocked side to side.
Harry was a little to excited to see you, taking your hand when you let zendaya go and helping you up the steps muttering a playful call me making you giggle, then he handed you your award “one second!” He said in the mic, taking a tiara and placing it on your head. “There ya go”
Again some giggles, you stood infront of the mic, looking around and taking it all in. “Thank you all, so so much. I-uh never wouldve thought id get this today, to be able to hold this” you raised it a bit. “But i want to thank some people, my mom”
Of course she was crying.
“My brother”
He did a dance, a weird one.
“My acting coach, keanu reeves, and many of you in here, thank you for being who you are to make me who i wanted to be, to be who i am, thank you”
Abd like that it was over, everyone clapping and shouting your welcomes before tom stood, flattening his tuxedo before doing a light jog, now onto full on running “one-one second!” He shouted into the mic when he got there, harsh breathes leaving his lips.
“I have something to say, y/n youve made me so happy in these years that ive been with you, weve made it so far and i cant see myself without you...like at all”
Everyone shared a couple laughs.
“I know weve shared a couple moments, embarrassing ones. Like when i ripped my pants and bird poop landed in my hair so we had to run into the public restroom to rinse it out, then you burned me”
“It was an accident, i couldnt tell which one was hot and cold” you glared at him, everyone laughing again.
“But thats besides the point, what i wanna say is-“ he put the mic down, taking both of your hands and pulling you from infront of the stance, letting everyone see you both as he slowly got on his knees.
Harry grabbed the mic again, squating next to tom and putting the mic to his lips “you forgot mate” he muttered “will you marry me?” Tears fell down your face as you nodded your head, like the idiot he is he forgot to take out the ring but he did, a big shiny one.
Diamond specks everywhere, it was beautiful. Tears strolled down your cheeks as he slided the ring on, then standing up and lifting you from the ground, a salty kiss shared.
Harry stood and walked back to his spot, joining everyone clapping their hands after tom took the mic, still holding you he shouted “IM GETTING MARRIED!”
The crowd roared with claps, everyone standing and men shouting “WOO”, pumping their fists in the air. You both are so happy!!
131 notes · View notes
blxetsi · 3 years
Note
Hi there! I love your work!! So I know this sounds a little niche but, could we get headcanons for a reader in a polyamorous relationship with Hange and Miche please? Hope you’re having a really good day!
NO BEXAUSE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEINE TO REQUEST POLYAMOROUS STUFF OMGGGGG 😭 ty for your service anon it means a lot 😔🙏
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hange and mike dating headcanons (canonverse)
zoë hange x gn!reader x mike zacharias
warnings: polyamorous relationship, and titans ??, reader is kinda innocent ?? like just easily wound up
also this is going to be SO fucking long and focused on hange for the first long bit sorry !
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btw this isnt rlly dating headcanons so much as backstory, how you met, and shit leading up to actually getting together i went so fucking overboard and went the complete opposite way of what you asked ill do a part two with ACTUAL dating headcanons if youd like anon just tell me and ill do it
- i think you wouldve worked for garrison originally
- in season one when hange started the experiments on sawney and bean thats when you would've met them
- you had been a big fan of their research studies for a while, so being in front of someone you thought was so cool was a little nerve wracking
- you had just became newly appointed as a captain for a garrison squad, being one of the youngest recruits to get the position, which also meant some people thought you couldnt handle the job
- you were good at telling others what to do, and guiding them when needed, you took over the leader role very quickly, you had to if you wanted to keep the position
- although you thought you were a good leader, others didnt
- specifically older members of garrison who thought because you were so young, youd be naive
- and since you were a garrison captain, you worked closely with hange and moblit during their experiments
- any request they made for supplies or anything, went through you and youd get it for them
- they needed more help ? youre requesting three soldiers to the experimentation zone immediately. anything they needed you helped with, because you liked helping
- hange had quickly grown fond of you, they were so thankful that you were so willingly to have your squad help them. you remember the brunette grabbing your hand and saying "thank you for your dedication to this project and to science !" while bowing multiple times
- as unsanitary and childish as it was,,, you didnt wash that hand for a day
- hange saw how some members of your squad treated you, and it may have irked them a bit
- causing them to rant to moblit while writing down research data
- "hange." "i just dont get it, why dont they say anything ? theyre so nice so why dont people respect them like they should-" "hange !" "what ?!" "youre writing down captain l/n's name on your page !" "so what ?!- wait what" this causes a night of bickering between the two of them 😐🤚
- when sawney and bean died hange was devastated. you had grown to like the section commander as a friend and respected them greatly, so to see their hardwork and research all go down the drain was hard
- you immediately went into leader mode and started ordering your squad around "listen up ! i want this whole perimeter checked and searched for any evidence to help us find out who did this." a couple members groaned, and one man, who was in his early thirties made a comment about it. "theyre just stupid fucking titans. we're supposed to kill them, not keep them alive for some freak to experiment on them."
- yknow,, looking back on it maybe you shouldnt have went off on them the way you did, but you did because not only was the man questioning your authority and orders, he was blatantly disrespecting a section commander. "i am your captain. i am your leader. you will respect me, and you will listen to me. you either do i say or youll be suspended and taken off my squad immediately. and that goes for everyone ! do i make myself clear ?" you shouted. the man who had talked back raised his eyebrows, youd never once yelled or demanded things be done in a manner like this, and it clearly shocked him when you stood up for yourself.
- a bunch of murmurs came from your squad and you dismissed them, but not before stepping in front of your soldier in front of everyone. "between you and me ? you should be discharged for not only your blatant disrespect and defiance to me for months now, but also for your innapropriate and degrading comments about section commander hange. you wanna pull some shit like this in the future, not just to me but to anybody ? you should kiss your position in garrison squad goodbye, since youre too childish to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. now grow the fuck up and go do what ive asked please." the man looked scared as he stared at you, no one had seen you act like this before, his jaw clenched as he nodded and walked off, the rest of your squad dispersing with him
- you didnt notice hange calling your name until you felt their hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw their sympathetic gaze on you. "thank you for defending me. are you okay ?"
- you rubbed the back of your neck and answered. "honestly ? i feel kind of bad, like i embarassed him or something." the survey corps leader tilted their head back as they laughed. "youre so kind y/n, but im proud of you." the comment, although lighthearted, struck a cord with you
- a couple days later you were requested to meet with not only the section commander but commander smith, as well as your superior, dot pixis
- the meeting only lasted about thirty minutes, but hange had boasted about not only your leadership skills but also your knowledge and ideas on various sciences. erwin decided to offer you a position to work under hange, and dot pixis agreed to have you transferred to the survey corps if you agreed.
- did your decision have to do with your crush on hange ? maybe. would you ever admit it ? no.
- pixis explained to you that youd be honorably disharged from the garrison regiment before being moved to the scouts' headquarters in trost
- you surprisingly got along well with others there. working in hanges squad was fun, and even though you were demoted from a captain back to a cadet you didnt mind
- hange had offered to share as much knowledge as they could with you, which led you to be in their office (as messy as it was) after work hours
- and thats where you met mike
- well, got to know him
- hange introduced you two when you first joined and the first thing the section commander did was NOT shake the hand you held out for him but to lean down and sniff around your hair and neck
- your face felt hot as you stuttered over your words, thrown off by his,,, unique, greeting
- hange and laughed and lightly pushed him away, before explaining to you that thats just what mike did
- back to being in hanges office
- for nights on end youd stay up together in their office, two chairs huddled beside one another while you read through books of research, not just from hange but from published scientists and anthropologists too
- mike had started joining you two only three days after you and hange started
- he would stay quiet, but would sit next to hange making them be sandwiched by the two of you
- after that you started to notice him more often
- down the halls he'd send you a small smile, which you brightly returned
- sometimes he'd be in charge of training that day, and he would wordlessly help you position your arms to properly block or punch when sparring with other members
- then he started bringing tea when he would come and listen to you and hange discuss different theories, articles and information together
- you didnt even know the two were dating until you accidentally walked in on them in hange's office
- they werent doing anything dirty, just giving each other a kiss, but you had walked in on them with a stack of papers captain levi told you to give to hange.
- you kinda,, stood there, slackjawed, while the two pulled apart slowly to look at you. hange had a mischievous grin on their face while mike just gave you a blank stare
- you dropped the papers. the stack of documents levi tasked you to give to hange. you dropped them. How Embarassing.
- your face began to feel hot not just from seeing them but also because youre embarassing yourself by dropping the papers and just standing there like an IDIOT
- "uh,,, i- captain levi said to give you those documents you requested." your voice cracked at the end making you wince
- "you mean the documents that are spread out on my floor now ?" hange asked. you looked between them and the floor, then at mike, then back to the floor than back at hange. "yes." you said, and you could feel that warmth in your face spreading to your ears now too. "im sorry." you exclaimed, your voice sounding strained as you quickly walked backwords and closed the door in front of you
- you started avoiding hange and mike after that, and became hyper aware of everything that they did. they were TAUNTING YOU 🙄 you could feel it
- instead of small smiles in the halls, after you started ducking your head down when you saw mike, he would now give you head pats when you crossed him
- hange would let their hand linger on your shoulder or side as they shuffled past you during meetings or experiments, and would come closer than usual when handing you documents
- mike would give you teasing smiles when you got your ass handed to you during sparring
- and finally you were fed up ! did this count as workplace harassment ? you didnt know but you wanted answers ! so you went to the source, hange's room after dinner
- you didnt bother knocking, you just walked in with your eyes closed
- hange giggled, "what are you doing y/n ?" "making sure im not walking into something i shouldnt be seeing, section commander." "by that do you mean the kiss mike and i shared ?" "yes." "well we're not kissing right now." they said, and you peaked one eye open to be sure they werent lying, and they werent !
mike stood up from his chair and slowly made his way past you, closing the door. you took a deep breath before throwing all of your word vomit on blond and brunette duo. "so i dont know why you guys think teasing me like this is fun, but it isnt. it makes me flustered and nervous and feel weird and im not sure if it counts as abuse of power but i dont like it so it needs to stop." you huffed in a big breath of air after saying all of that, and hange rested their head in their hands.
"y/n do you have a crush on me ?" they asked. their voice was soft but they still had that stupid smile on their face. you could feel your face getting warmer by the second. your mouth opened and closed but no words came out.
" i uh, im gonna leave now." you turned around but hit something hard, and looked up at mike looking down on you, a smirk on his face. he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you back around to hange, walking the two of you over to their desk. he gave you a slight push, causing you to put your hands on the desk and lean on it, while mike kept his hands on you to keep you from running.
hange leaned into you, your noses barely touching. "i only ask because, mike and i have grown very fond of you." they said. you nodded a little bit, the tips of your noses brushing against each other.
"yeah well, id be a little sad if my superiors didnt like me, that would be kind of bad." you replied.
"can i kiss you ?" they asked.
and now is when your brain really stops functioning. thoughts fill your mind of mike and his relationship to hange. are they actually together or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing ?
"i uh, i cant kiss you." you replied, a bit breathlessly caused by both section commanders.
"why not y/n ?"
"well i'm not a cheater, or a homewrecker. i mean i assume that you and mike are together so, im not going to kiss someone in a relationship." you stammered out. this was making you very nervous, butterflies errupting in your stomach. you knew they were just teasing you, goofing around to make you flustered, but a part of you hoped youd be able to kiss hange, and maybe mike for that matter.
they chuckled a bit, before their brown eyes looking behind you to mike's towering form. "honey, can you tell y/n its okay if they kiss me ?" they asked. mike let out a small laugh through his nose before leaning down.
"only if y/n promises to give me a kiss afterwards." he whispered. he pressed a faint kiss to your temple, and you shivered from the contact. he was warm, very warm, and even though it was such a small amount of contact it did so many things to you.
you gulped before bringing your eyes back to hange. you looked to their eyes, and then to their lips, and continued that pattern silently in hopes theyd understand. you didnt want to be teased anymore ! you wanted something to happen.
hange got the hint and smirked, before leaning in again and lightly brushing her lips against yours. theirs were soft compared to mikes chapped ones, and the kiss was so slow, so innocent, it had you leaning in for more. it was a slow, lazy kiss, a kiss to test the waters, it helped calm your nerves, but also made your nerved explode with heat.
finally the researched pulled away, and put their hands on your cheeks, squishing them to pucker your lips, before giving a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips one last time. they let go with a soft smile on their face, and a blush of their own.
you could feel mike press his body down against yours, making your knees buckle slightly. he took his right hand off your shoulder to place it on hange's cheek, thumbing over the red pigmentation. he then turned your head up and to the side, before giving you a kiss of his own. this one was a bit more dominating, hard. his chapped lips scratched against your own but you didnt mind. in a weird way it made you feel at ease, having him take control of it, the same way hange did but his was just more, needy.
he pulled back with a shaky breath and looked at you before looking at hange. "so y/n," hange began. they stood up and made their way around the table, mike pulling himself and you up straight so hange could sit on the edge, pulling you in to stand between their legs. being sandwiched in between mike and hange made you so aware of them, and even though you were very new to something like this you felt weirdly safe and secure. "mike and i genuinely care about you, and we want to be with you the way that we're with each other. would you like that ?"
honestly, how could you say no ?
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thats it again im sorry the anon who requested this you did not get what you asked for 😭😭😭😭 hope u all enjoyed requests r open stay safe
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kpop---writings · 3 years
Text
Playboy Prince 3
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Prince Im Jaebum.
Part 3.
“Welcome back, Prince Im Jaebum,” The butler does a 90 degree bow, “Hello, Princess Y/N.” He turns his attention to you, bowing again.
You nod your head with a smile.
“I’ll take your bags.”
He reaches for Prince Jaebum and while reaching for yours, he gives Jaebum a questioning look.
“You can take her bags to my room as well,” Jaebum already knew what he was thinking
As the butler walks off with both of your bags, Jaebum begins walking further into the castle. You right on his tail.
His castle was very much different from yours. Your parents loved the white marble and classy look. Almost everything in your castle was white, white marble, or some other shade close to white allowing for a slight contrast. With the occasional bright colored piece of decor.
But the Ims’ castle. It was very rich with gold details everywhere and darker shades. Completely opposite what you were used to. Not that you were complaining, it was nice to see something different. It made you feel like you didn’t need to be so cautious about leaving any kind of dirt behind. 
You hadn’t noticed Prince Jaebum had stopped walking and began to watch you admire his castle. 
“Not what you’re used to, Princess?”
His voice catches you off guard and you quickly look over to him.
“No.” You reply, walking towards where he’s standing, next to a large exotic painting of some animal. “It is very beautiful, though. I can see myself living here.” You give him a wink.
He smirks, “Wait until you see my room.”
---
Prince Jaebum gives a pretty intricate tour of the castle, showing you even the secret passage ways. You’re so in awe the whole time. Their castle gives of a completely different energy than what you’re used to, but you absolutely love it. The dark flooring and walls with gold detail was so captivating to you.
Jaebum, again, watches you closely. Taking advantage of you being completely distracted by his home to look at you. Specifically your lips.
As you’re looking around at everything, you catch his stare.
“What?” You ask confused, “Is there something on my face?” You began feeling all over your face.
He lets out a breathy chuckle, “No, you just look like a kid in a candy store. Have never seen any castle other than your own?”
“I mean I have, but most of the time they all have the same interior.” You look back at some of the paintings in the hallway you’re standing in, “Definitely not covered with such unique art.”
“And what’s with the kid thing again?” You ask.
Prince Jaebum shakes his head, “Just waiting on you to prove otherwise, Princess.”
---
“Come on. Time for the best part.” He grabs your arm and takes you up the stairs and down a long hallway until you reach a set of tall double doors, black and gold of course.
He pushes them open and steps aside for you to walk in first.
The first thing you notice is the big king sized bed in the middle of the room, with dark red bedding and a sheer, black canopy draping off the top from every side of the frame. You briefly wonder how many women he’s fucked on there.
Jaebum walks past you to the middle of the room and spreads his arms out, “So this is our room, what do you think?” With an extra emphasis on the word “our.”
On the outside you give him an annoyed look and roll your eyes, but on the inside, you’re actually screaming. That’s cute.
“It’s cute, actually. The bed, especially, seems cozy.”
He tilts his head to the side, “So the bed is what caught your attention, huh?”
“Because I like to sleep, Prince Jaebum.” 
You hear him sigh, dramatically.
“I know what you’re doing, you know.” He says, as you walk around the room, touching and looking at everything. 
You don’t look at him as a smile creeps on your face, “And what is it I’m doing?”
“You know. That thing where you keep saying things that could have a double meaning.” You turn to look at him and see he’s sitting at the end of the bed now. “What are you up to, Princess?”
He looks absolutely delicious right now. He’s seated so beautifully at the end of the bed, legs parted, and leaning back onto his hands. You imagine how he would react if you just got down on your knees in front of him right now. You subconsciously lick your lips, a little too slow.
“Hello! Princess!” He starts waving his hands around, “What are you thinking about?” He’s smirking now.
You ignore him and continuing looking around at everything. 
He lets you look around a little bit, allowing you to get a little more comfortable with your new home.
“Why don’t you come over here with me,” he’s lying down now, eyes on you.
You slowly walk towards the side of the bed he’s laying on and he scoots over and pats the bed next to him, signaling for you to lie down.
Okay. Laying next to him won’t cause any harm. Right?
---
You two lay in silence for a while, you momentarily forget about all the teasing and banter you two normally do. It’s nice actually. You guys are actually cuddling right now. His arm wrapped over you while you rest on his other.
Jaebum feels different with you. He’s never allowed any girl in his room, let alone his bed. He never cuddled any of the other princesses he fucked, he felt like that involved too much emotion and would complicate things. This, though, with you was very relaxing.
The sound of you speaking breaks the comfortable silence.
“Prince Jaebum ca-”
“You can just call me Jaebum, Princess.”
“Jaebum,” saying just his name feels nice. Like he trusts you.
 “Can I ask you a question and get a very honest answer?”
Jaebum just knows it’s about the rumors. Of course he’ll be honest with you, you’re about to marry him, so what’s the point in lying about it anymore?
“Princess, any question you have I will answer honestly. I have no reason to lie to you, we’re about to be married.” He responds
That makes you smile. You also think maybe it’s just because there’s nothing you could really do about whatever the answer is except just knowing about it from him himself.
“I want to know how many women you’ve fucked.”
 You lean up on your arm, facing him. 
“You want the absolute truth?”
“That’s what I said.”
“I’ve only been with four, one of them isn’t even a princess.”
You sit up fully now. Is he lying to you right now?
“You’re lying. You just told me you were going to be honest.”
“I also told you I have no reason to lie.”
He sits up too, so you’re now sitting across from each other.
“I slept with Princess Sooyoung , you know, the princess of all princesses. She wasn’t a good fuck so I never asked to see her again, which she did not take well. Apparently she thought us fucking meant I wanted her to be my queen, so with the help of her friends, they all spread the rumor about me.”
You can see the sadness in his eyes. He always seemed like he was proud to have such a reputation, but watching him tell the story you can see it actually did bother him, there was just nothing he could do about it and he knew it.
You reach up to rub his arm, in a comforting way. 
“Hey. I believe you, Jaebum.”
He looks up at you with longing eyes. He looks at your lips briefly and then back to your eyes.
You want to kiss him. So bad.
Lucky for you, he leans in first.
His soft lips against yours feels like heaven. You feel like you’re in a dream, getting lost in the motion of your lips moving in sync with his.
You feel his hand touch your thigh and you tense. He notices.
He quickly pulls his hand away and pulls away from the kiss. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything I just-
“Jaebum,” You cut him off. “I wasn’t uncomfortable. I just wasn’t expecting it.”
You move closer to him and grab his hand to put back on your thigh, a little bit higher than where he put it. You lean in to kiss him, this time going lower.
You slowly give him an open mouthed kiss on his neck, sucking on the skin as you pull away and go back up to his lips.
Jaebum could feel himself growing in his pants at the way you just kissed his neck.  He moves his hand up your body from your thigh to your waist and pulls you onto his lap, never breaking the kiss. He makes sure to push his hard on into you so you know exactly how you’re making him feel right now.
The feeling of his dick lightly rubbing against your clit is making you unbelievably wet. You just want him inside you already filling you completely, you can just tell it’s incredibly thick.
Just as you start grinding down even harder against him, the phone rings. You look over and see it’s his mom calling. 
“Jae- Jaebum,” you breathe out, “It’s your mom, you need to answer it.”
He groans and throws his head back in frustration reaching for his phone.
You stay seated on top of him as he speaks to her. He looks really good under you, his lips plump, face red from the heated moment, and hair a little disheveled from running your hands through it.
After about 10 minutes you realize the conversation isn’t ending soon and you’re starting to feel awkward just sitting here and staring at him. You decide to go shower away the day of travel and the arousal that soaked your panties. It was beginning to get uncomfortable.
You move to get up and Jaebum grabs your leg and gives you a questioning look. You mouth ‘shower’ as you continue to get up. 
He looks sad almost.
---
You strip out of your clothes and step into the hot water. You hum in content. This feels really nice. 
Your mind starts to wander back to what was about to happen and you get that feeling in your stomach again. You close your eyes, lean your head back letting the water hit you, and slide your fingers down your chest all the way to where you needed it most. You can just picture what his dick looks like and you remember how it felt against you.
You let out a sigh as you rub your clit to the thought of Jaebum.
You don’t even hear his footsteps as walks in the very spacious shower behind you.
“Are you starting without me, Princess?”
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riotwritesthings · 4 years
Text
Melt into Me (Your Words Are My Own)
WinterIron, E, 18k, Heavy casual praise kink, pining, non-graphic injury, self care is big sexy | AO3
Remember when I said this prompt for WinterIronMonth got way out of hand? I was young and naive. It’s a monster. Here it is I’m super proud of it. 
This fic, like lots of other fic, is all Stella’s fault. Everyone say thank you. And an extra big thank you for the idea, and the title, and in general letting me whine about this fic at you all the way through. You are truly a treasure.
-
Bucky has a new strategy for getting Tony to take proper human care of himself. Tony has never been so well fed, hydrated, thoroughly rested, and confused in all his life.  
That doesn’t mean he wants it to stop, and it’s amazing how many boring adult things Bucky can get him to do just by patting his head and calling him ‘good boy’. Right up until Tony possibly ruins everything.
-
“Did you actually go to medical before coming down here?” Bucky asks as he walks into the lab. He fixes Tony with an expectant stare, looking freshly showered and gorgeous and-
Tony viciously shoves down that line of thought, instead holds up his arm and shows off the neat line of stitches on his forearm “I did,” he says smugly, “and you can tell, because these are much neater than when I do it myself.”
“Your stitches are terrible, I’ve seen literal evil scientists with better needlework than you,” Bucky says agreeably, stepping close to inspect Tony’s arm before giving a satisfied nod.
“That’s hurtful,” Tony says, dropping his arm and turning back to his worktable before he does something stupid like lean in and try to get a big whif of the shampoo Bucky uses. “Now where’s my treat, that was the deal, I went and let the ‘professionals’ sew me up and you better not be backing out on your end of the deal, or-“ Tony cuts off when a ziplock bag of homemade cookies lands on the table in front of him, straight from Bucky’s secret stash that no one has been able to find. “Yay,” he says gleefully, ripping into the bag.
Bucky’s hand is suddenly resting on top of his head, gently ruffling it, and Tony is uncomfortably aware of the fact that his hair is a sweaty mess because he may have gotten distracted on the way to his post-battle shower. Then Bucky pats his head and coos “yeah, tha’s a good boy.” His voice is equal parts teasing and amused, maybe a hint of condescension and underneath it all a fond warmth, like he really is pleased Tony dragged his pitiful human ass to medical after a relatively routine fight.
Tony flushes hot, nearly chokes on his giant mouthful of cookie and the only saving grace is that Bucky has already wandered away to play some kind of elaborate game with the bots. Tony still does not understand the rules of said game, and he wishes he found it less endearing that Bucky refuses to explain it to him.
Okay, so. That... that happened. Tony turns his attention back to the gauntlet he’s trying to repair and tells himself it’s fine, it’s not like it’ll ever happen again. It’s fine.
-
And the thing is, it’s not like Tony meant for it to happen again. It’s not like he was aiming for it. At least... not intentionally.
It’s just that Bucky’s been pestering him about actually remembering to eat lunch at a decent time recently, so when one day Tony actually does remember he decides to rub it in a little. ‘Ate lunch,’ he texts even though it’s silly, it doesn’t even matter and Bucky is only a couple floors up helping Steve rearrange furniture to Natasha’s liking for the millionth time. ‘Don’t see the big deal, but now maybe you’ll leave me alone you big mother hen.’
About half an hour later, Tony is heading to check out the new common room arrangement when Bucky texts him back and he laughs when he sees that it’s just a cookie emoji. Then Bucky adds ‘good boy’ and Tony makes a strangled sound as he walks into the still-opening doors of the elevator.
Tony spins on his heel and punches the door-close button before anyone spots him. Because he really doesn’t need company while he presses his flaming red face against the cool metal wall of the elevator, his heart thumping hard in his chest. Tony firmly tells himself that had not been his intention, and it’s really a good thing he’s so experienced at lying to himself.
-
Tony tracks Bucky down to hand over the fancy new scope he’s just finished, and finds him in the library curled up in an oversized armchair. It’s unfairly adorable, and Bucky’s smile does dangerous things to his heart.
“Thanks doll,” Bucky says, staring up at him instead of inspecting his new toy. When Tony tries to literally wave him off, already turning for the door, Bucky catches him by the wrist and gives a gentle tug until Tony relents and meets his stupid earnest gaze. “I mean it,” Bucky says, “I know how hard you been workin’ on this, thank you.”
Tony sputters, and then makes a couple nonsense noises while something uncurls warm and amazing in his chest. “No worries,” he finally manages and it’s both a relief and a disappointment when Bucky releases his wrist. “Making scopes is my jam. That’s better than the one I just put on Clint’s bow. Don’t tell him.”
“I’m gonna tell ‘im,” Bucky says instantly, smug and grinning and still just staring up at Tony, like he could possibly be more interesting than a digital scope. “I get the best stuff an’ I wanna make sure he knows it.”
“Whatever makes you happy, snowflake,” Tony says, face warm because oh god he’s so obvious, isn’t he? When he turns to enact a manly flee, Bucky lets him go and the sound of his soft, fond laugh follows Tony the rest of the day.
-
It kind of spirals out of control from there. Tony tells himself he doesn’t love it, but even he doesn’t believe himself anymore.
Bucky snatches the coffee cup out of Tony’s hand and replaces it with a glass of water before Tony can even begin to formulate a protest. For a long second all Tony can do is blink in stunned silence because how dare?!
Tony narrows his eyes in a glare, and apparently the twitching of his free hand gives him away because Bucky shifts to hold the mug way up above his head with that wide, gorgeous grin. Tony is pretty sure, if he tried hard enough, he could get that mug back, but it would probably end in both of them covered in water and/or hot coffee. And it would involve a lot of pressing himself against Bucky and attempting to climb him like a tree, which is... probably not a great plan.
So Tony chugs the water, glaring the whole time, and then Bucky hands back his coffee with a quiet “good.” Tony struggles to fight back his blush, can’t at all help the smile that takes over his face, and Bucky just smiles back before continuing on his way.
-
“JARVIS, please wake Bucky up just to inform him that I am pointedly not getting more coffee at three in the morning, and please do it as obnoxiously as possible,” Tony says as he stares into the depths of the fridge, “I’m thinking air sirens. Neon lights.”
There’s a soft, low chuckle from right behind him, and Tony has just enough time to freeze up, his eyes going wide. Then Bucky’s hand is in his once again messy hair, and Bucky’s low, sleep-rough voice is rumbling out “good boy.”
By the time Tony finds his own voice again Bucky has leaned in close against his back to swipe one of Clint’s juice boxes, patted him on the shoulder, and started for the door. “If I’m a good boy then where’s my cookie?” He calls after Bucky’s retreating back, tongue thick and heart racing.
“Good boys go t’ sleep,” Bucky calls back, pointedly, and Tony grumbles all the way to bed.
He sleeps like a fucking baby, wakes up still feeling warm and happy and flushed.
-
"I don't need a brain scan," Tony insists. Again. “My brain is fine. It’s excellent. It is a stunning example of a human brain, ask anyone. Except Bruce, but he’s still just mad that I broke his favorite microscope.”
Bucky continues to stare him down, then lifts his shiny metal hand. "How many fingers am I holdin’ up?" He demands, and Tony would be insulted if he wasn’t having such a hard time focusing.
Tony stares at his hand, counting carefully. "Three," he finally declares, with full confidence.
"That took entirely too long!" Bucky says, dropping his hand again even though it looks like what he really wants to do is just throw both hands in the air and yeah, Tony gets that a lot. "You have a knot the size of a fuckin’ golf ball an’ no offense, but it’s ruinin’ your pretty face. Go get th’ damn scan!"
Tony taps his screwdriver against his chin, eyes on the ceiling, and decides he should probably wait to freak out about the ‘pretty face’ comment later, alone. So for now he turns a sunny smile on Bucky, pointing his screwdriver, and says "no.”
"Please, doll? Do it for me?" Bucky asks, completely shifting tactics, and he even has the gall to pout at Tony. With his blue eyes and red lips. The nerve of it.
Tony holds firm. For about five seconds. "Fine," he sighs, dropping the screwdriver to the table so he can throw both hands in the air himself.
Bucky smiles at him, warm and relieved and something that Tony almost wants to call thankful and Tony has to drop his chin because he can’t deal with that face.
Moving his head so suddenly kind of makes the room spin, and Bucky ends up having to carry him to the medical wing. Bucky also lectures him the whole time, but his hands are so gentle and he stays for the entire thing and Tony finds that he only minds the lectures a little.
-
Tony wakes up from a nap he definitely hadn’t intended to take, still sprawled out on the couch in the common room with Bucky’s fingers still running through his hair. He has no idea how much time has passed but the TV is off and the windows are dark. He appears to have stolen Sam’s blanket, at some point.
He twists his head, still resting on Bucky’s thigh, to fix Bucky with a baleful look and says “I thought I told you I didn’t need a nap.”
“‘S not like I made you fall asleep,” Bucky says, smiling innocently even though he basically did, with his stupid magic hands. Then Bucky’s grin turns into a smirk, voice low as he adds “but don’t you feel better now?”
Tony pouts harder, because he does, and Bucky laughs, continues petting his head until Tony falls right back to sleep.
-
“You do not want me helping you cook,” Tony says with a sputtering laugh, but he steps further into the kitchen anyways, because whatever Bucky is cooking smells amazing. And because it’s Bucky. “I can’t believe you’d ask me to come help you cook. Did JARVIS not tell you how much of a terrible idea that is?”
“Just be good an’ get over here,” Bucky says, and he doesn’t look up from stirring whatever’s in the giant pot but Tony can hear him rolling his eyes.
“I will be no help,” Tony assures him, but steps up to the stove anyways, trying to peek over the rim of the pot. “Is that tomato sauce? Please say yes, and then please don’t let me ruin it.”
Bucky lets out a huff of laughter and turns towards him, wooden spoon outheld, and says “c’mon doll I need a taste tester.” When Tony just blinks at him, Bucky wiggles the spoon a little and says “open up, sweet thing.”
Tony does his best to ignore what that particular choice of words does to him, instead making a big show of checking the spoon for signs of poison or sabotage, humming suspiciously until Bucky gives an impatient huff. Only then does Tony give in, leaning in just a little more to drag his tongue up the flat back of the wooden spoon and then groans happily, because holy shit that is some good sauce. He opens his eyes to tell Bucky so, not sure when they fell closed in the first place, only to find Bucky watching him with an intensity that has Tony’s breath catching in his throat.
“Good?” Bucky asks, like he doesn't already know the answer, and when Tony nods emphatically he grins. “See,” he says, voice suddenly gone low and deep, not looking away from Tony even as he returns to stirring the pot, “you can be good an’ helpful, knew you could babydoll.”
Bucky finally turns back to the stove, just in the nick of time because there’s not a damn thing Tony can do about the warmth spreading across his cheeks, unfurling in his chest. “Yes, very helpful,” Tony says with a dry laugh, “what would you do without me here to lick things?”
Bucky’s eyes flick over to him, lids lowered in a way that is giving Tony ideas, and his lips quirk up and as he says “have to lick things myself I guess, an’ where’s the fun in that?” Tony barks out a startled laugh, face heating, and Bucky grins down at the pot. “Gonna stay and eat with me, right?” He asks pointedly, like he’s just daring Tony to say no.
Tony pretends like he actually has to think about it, making considering noises and dragging his eyes away from the smug curve of Bucky’s lips. “Do I get a treat afterwards?” He asks obnoxiously, giving Bucky a little nudge with his elbow.
“Mmhmm,” Bucky hums, gaze shifting over to him again. Tony can feel his pulse in his fingertips in the best possible way and he has to bite his lip so he won’t start blurting out suggestions. Bucky’s eyes flick down, just for a second, and then he says “go get some plates.”
So they eat dinner, and Bucky demands to know all of Tony’s greatest cooking disasters and yeah he laughs his ass off but he also keeps giving Tony these wide, warm smiles, and Tony finds that he really doesn’t mind. He’d tell Bucky every embarrassing thing he’s ever done if he gets to hear that laugh. And he’s done a lot.
When Tony starts shoving his empty plate across the table, knocking it into Bucky’s obnoxiously, Bucky just laughs and goes to rummage around in the pantry. Which is a foolish move, because now Tony knows his secret sweets stash is in fact somewhere in the pantry. Which is more than anyone else knows.
Bucky returns with a chocolate and peanut butter cookie roughly half the size of Tony’s face, and then watches him eat it with an unfairly intense stare. Bucky barely glances down at his own plate as he devours a second, and then a third helping of food, just watches Tony eat the cookie that he’s starting to suspect Bucky has been saving just for him. Like there’s nothing he’d rather be doing in the world, nothing more interesting than watching Tony make a mess of himself with baked goods, licking smears of chocolate off his fingers.
The heat in Tony’s gut is battling for attention with the warmth in his chest, and he can’t do much more than stare back. He barely even remembers the walk to the elevator after Bucky firmly suggests he should get some sleep once in a while, the weight of Bucky’s eyes on his shoulders all the way down the hallway.
He falls asleep thinking the word ‘ravenous’ and wakes up panting, stuck to his sheets and aching.
-
Bucky walks into the room, and Tony switches from eating his breakfast like a normal, rational person, to eating it pointedly, fork scraping across his plate, loud chewing, the works.
Bucky just smiles, big and genuine, says “look at you, feedin’ yourself, I’m so proud,” like he really means it. Tony swallows thickly, heart thundering in his chest and an addictive warmth spreading through him. That still doesn’t mean he lets Bucky get away with trying to steal his bacon, though.
And okay yeah, Tony feels a little bad, if he stops to let himself think about it. Feels like a bit of a creep, but only a little. Because it’s not like Bucky knows that every tiny nice thing he says goes straight to Tony’s head. And his heart. And also a little bit to his dick. Just like Bucky doesn’t know that Tony has had a big useless crush on him for like a year now and really, what’s one more secret?
And besides, unless Tony is actually as out-of-touch as some people like to accuse him of being, it almost seems like Bucky is happier too. Like for some reason he actually likes keeping Tony alive and functional, and really, who would Tony be if he took that away? If Bucky gets some sense of accomplishment out of forcing Tony to get three square meals and eight-ish hours of sleep, then who is Tony to deny him?
It’s just one more tiny little secret.
-
Tony barely manages not to audibly sigh in relief as the reporter who’s been hounding him gets distracted by some kind of commotion over by the catering table and hurries away, lest he miss the story. Tony’s smile doesn’t slip, because he’s a pro, but it’s difficult. Tony loves his mother’s charity, he really does, it’s the only gala he doesn’t have to be convinced to go to, but he really wishes people wouldn’t ruin it by insisting on asking about Howard.
If Tony has to grit his teeth one more time and say that Howard was a ‘great man’ (debatable) or that he ‘always supported Maria in her causes’ (outright lie), then he’s going to snap and do something drastic. Like go raid the entire bar. Or cry.
“You don’t have t’ put up with that,” comes a voice from right beside him, and Tony jumps hard even though he’d know that voice anywhere. Apparently, Tony is even more tense than he’d realized, and the concerned look on Bucky’s face means he’s probably noticed too.
“I’m going to put a bell on you, almost gave me a heart attack,” Tony grumbles, clutching one hand to his chest and hoping like hell that they can just not talk about it.
Bucky hums thoughtfully, then grins and says “Sneakin’ with a bell, sounds like a fun challenge.”
“That is not the point of the bell,” Tony says seriously, pointing at him, and not letting his eyes drag down the line of Bucky’s body, no matter how much he wants to. No matter how good Bucky’s legs look in a well-fitted suit.
“I mean it,” Bucky says, smiling dimming a little, and so much for Tony’s attempts to deflect, “you know you don’t have to put up with that, right?”
“What?” Tony asks blankly, even though he doesn’t know why he bothers, he never gets away with playing dumb. Sure enough, Bucky fixes him with a flat look until Tony sighs and says “Yes, I kind of do.”
“No,” Bucky says, so firm and urgent that Tony is a little taken aback, catching Tony gently by the elbow when he tries to turn, tries to look for a distraction. “Maybe you have to be here, an’ maybe you have to play nice, but you don’t have t’ answer anythin’ you don’t wanna. And you especially don’ have to talk about him.”
Tony doesn’t know what he feels at this point, some mix of frozen and warm and fuzzy, flushed hot while ice runs through his veins, and he kind of can’t believe that Bucky has been watching him that closely-
“I don’t?” He asks and hates how weak his voice comes out, how unsure, but he’s been talking up Howard at these stupid things for as long as he can remember, it’s second nature, and no one has ever told him that he doesn’t have to in his his entire life-
“No, Tony,” Bucky says and his voice has gone soft too, rough and a little sad and he smiles crookedly as he adds “jus’ tell ‘em to fuck off if they keep tryin’.”
“Well I definitely can’t do that,” Tony huffs. Bucky’s fingers are still holding him so gently, thumb dragging over the inside of his elbow, making Tony shiver just as much as holding him standing.
“You’ll figure it out,” Bucky says, smiling a little wider again and tapping his thumb against Tony’s pulse through his sleeve, “you got that way with words, sweet talker, ‘m sure you’ll come up with somethin’.”
“You’re the sweet talker,” Tony grumbles, and Bucky laughs softly.
Not even half an hour later the same damn reporter corners him as he steps off the stage after his speech, asking the same damn questions, and Tony hesitates. Then he decides fuck it, throws out all his prepared responses, slaps on his sharpest smile and bites out “I’m not going to talk about that anymore.”
The reporter actually looks a little thrown for a second, then visibly steels his nerve and says “People just want to know what it was like growing up with-“
“No,” Tony says, smiling wider, sharper, “I’ve already answered that question what must be a million times by now, how about you go dig up one of those stories and republish that. I’m sure it’ll be better written that way, anyways.” The reporter is still sputtering as Tony turns and walks away, slips into a side hallway to pat himself on the back and maybe panic-breathe, just a little.
He’s barely slumped back against the wall before Bucky is right in front of him, breathing out “Oh, Tony.”
“Seriously, a bell, a big one,” Tony repeats, smile only a little wobbly as he drags his eyes up to meet Bucky’s, and then can’t help blurting out “Did I- was that... okay?”
“Perfect,” Bucky says instantly, jolting forward and then stopping, like he’d been about to pull Tony in for a hug before thinking better of it. Which is too bad, Tony could really go for a hug right now but it’s almost just as good when Bucky says “That was perfect, you did so good sweet thing, don’t you feel better now?”
“Yes,” Tony says with a heavy sigh, not even realizing how much he means it until all the tension bleeds out of him and before he can stop himself Tony is leaning forward to thump his forehead against Bucky’s chest, letting his eyes fall closed and breathing in the comforting, earthy smell of Bucky’s cologne. He just can’t take the warmth and open pride in Bucky’s gaze anymore, not without running the very serious risk of turning to a useless puddle of mush.
Of course, then Bucky’s right hand lands warm and gentle on the back of Tony’s head, wide palm cradling his skull easily and thumb stroking down the line of his neck, the other hand curled around Tony’s shoulder and pulling him a little closer. “So proud’a you, Tony, did so good, knew you could do it doll,” Bucky says softly, speaking directly against the top of Tony’s head while his fingers slide through Tony’s hair.
“I’ve told off reporters before,” Tony huffs, even though he doesn’t know why he bothers, Bucky apparently sees right through him, “I do it all the time. Did you miss when I snapped at one of them during that last press conference and Steve gave me disappointed face?”
Bucky just hums, taps his metal fingers against the curve of Tony’s shoulder blade. “Yeah,” he finally says, voice barely more than a breath, “For everyone else. Always makin’ sure the rest of th’ team never has to talk about anythin’ they don’t want to the press. Never cut yourself any slack like that, though, do ya?”
Tony’s breath catches in his throat, and how does Bucky do that?! He has no response, no idea what to say, absolutely never expected to be called out. Not on this. When Bucky makes a soft, expectant sound, like he’s actually waiting for an answer, all Tony can do is shake his head a little, careful not to accidentally dislodge Bucky’s hold on him.
“You’re worth it too, ya hear me?” Bucky asks, his hold on Tony tightening ever so slightly, one finger tap tap tapping at the back of Tony’s head until Tony finally huffs and nods. “Good boy,” Bucky says, still so softly, and if he notices the way Tony all but melts against him, at least he doesn’t say anything about it.
-
Tony shuffles down the hallway, frowning at his phone and glancing up every now and then just to make sure he’s not about to run into anyone. Considering he lives in a tower full of spies, soldiers, and other assorted superheroes, they all have surprisingly terrible situational awareness sometimes. And sure, it’s heartwarming that they can all let their guard down, at least a little, but he’s also a little tired of people tripping and breaking things because Thor likes to nap in hallways.
When he glances up and spots Bucky in his path, he steps to the side and barely has time for a “Hey frosty, Clint was looking for you. He was also holding a water gun, so I’d be careful.” After a quick grin Tony returns to squinting at his phone, and therefore does not see it coming at all when Bucky gently grabs his elbow and halts him in his tracks.
“Hey, you okay?” Bucky asks, an adorable little concerned wrinkle between his eyebrows. He also lets go of Tony’s arm, which is a shame.
Tony blinks, then glances down at himself. He’s not sure what gave Bucky the impression that something is wrong, if it was the stained and hole-littered jeans, the wrinkled shirt, or the fact that Tony apparently lost one of his socks somewhere. Huh.
“Yeah, fine,” Tony says and waves his phone a little, “just got a lot to do. You know how it is. Every day I receive emails, so on and so forth.”
“You got a headache?” Bucky asks, randomly, even though Tony does. It’s pounding right behind his eyes, and all along his temple, and throbbing in time with his heartbeat. All in all, it’s a high quality headache.
“No,” Tony says anyways, because he has things to do, and Bucky is making ‘go take a nap’ face at him. It’s a very specific face. “My head feels awesome, better than awesome, I gotta get down to the lab, so, you better be getting on with your water gun fight. Watch the furniture.”
Tony tries to step away again, before Bucky can guilt him into not working, but Bucky snaps a hand out and catches him by the belt loop on his hip. It’s everything Tony can do not to swallow his tongue.
“What you gotta do is take a break,” Bucky says firmly, and Tony is opening his mouth to ask if that means he’s invited to the water gun fight, but Bucky apparently sees it coming and cuts him off. “Go take a nap, Tony.”
“I don’t want a nap,” Tony whines petulantly and braces his bare foot against the ground, leans against Bucky’s hold and trusts him not to actually let go as Tony pouts at him.
“Then at least go lay down,” Bucky says, heartlessly. When Tony just pouts at him harder Bucky rolls his eyes with a soft huff and says “Do it an’ I’ll bring you somethin’ to drink.” When Tony opens his mouth Bucky immediately adds “not coffee.”
Tony gasps in horror, but Bucky remains unswayed. “Fine, hot chocolate,” he demands, leaning a little harder despite the way his worn jeans are gaping at the waist and more than likely to rip at any second.
Bucky considers, eyes dragging down Tony’s chest and probably counting the grease stains on his shirt, and finally says “Water an’ then hot chocolate.”
“Fine, I will go to my room and await my beverage delivery,” Tony says, already running mental calculations on exactly how long he has to run to the lab and grab his tablet then stash it somewhere before Bucky catches him.
“You goin’ straight to your room?” Bucky asks, one eyebrow raised, and damnit how does he do that?! Tony is seriously considering
Tony groans, then gives what Rhodey has assured him is the worst salute humanly possible as he says “Sir yes sir, Sargent Tastee-Freeze.”
Bucky grins with lots of teeth and tugs at Tony’s belt loop to pull him back upright again as he says “Good boy.”
Tony goes straight to his room, and Bucky’s smile when he finds Tony already curled up under a blanket with the lights in the room down low is totally worth it. The amazing hot chocolate is just a bonus.
-
“Tony,” Bucky says, voice frantic, “Tony, you gotta stay awake.”
“Hurts,” Tony complains, just in case Bucky hasn’t noticed that he’s bleeding out here. And he’s supposed to be the observant one.
“I know, I know it does,” Bucky says and his fingers are shaking as he brushes Tony’s hair off of his forehead. His other hand is incredibly steady as it presses a crumpled jacket to Tony’s bleeding stomach, making him groan pitifully. “You gotta stay awake for me, doll, jus’ stay awake.”
“Wanna sleep,” Tony says petulantly, because that sounds way better than being awake for all this agony. His eyelids are already fluttering shut and he’s not worried about the asshole that shot him, if Bucky is here then there’s nothing to worry about. Tony is pretty sure Natasha was around here too somewhere, but it’s surprisingly hard to remember.
“No no no, wake up,” Bucky says, voice cracking, and maybe there is something to worry about, if Bucky sounds that upset. Tony wonders what it is. “C’mon, wake up for me sweetheart, be a good boy and just- jus’ open your eyes.”
“Good?” Tony slurs out and cracks one eye open, just enough to see that Bucky’s face is wet and if Tony didn’t know better he’d think Bucky was crying.
“Yeah Tony,” Bucky says with a smile that’s entirely too shaky, sounding entirely too desperate, “jus’ be good and stay awake for me, give you all the fuckin’ cookies you want, give you anything.” His hand is on Tony’s cheek again, fingers so warm, and when Tony’s eyes start to fall closed again Bucky gives him the slightest of shakes and says “Hey, hey, c’mon doll, don’t you got some demands for me? Gotta stay awake to tell me what you want, baby.”
“Wanna be good,” Tony manages to croak out, struggling to get his stubborn eyes to open and actually focus. He almost wishes he hadn’t, because there’s something horribly stricken about Bucky’s expression, something startled and scared and it drags a pained noise out of Tony’s chest that has nothing to do with the blood pooling below him.
“Yeah?” Bucky asks after a pause and he’s shaking all over now, everywhere but his metal hand still pressed firm and agonizing over the bullet holes in Tony’s stomach. “Wanna be good for me, you gotta stay awake until the paramedics get here, can you do that sweet thing?”
“Gross, hate them,” Tony says, and Bucky’s laugh sounds more like a choked sob. Tony flails one hand up until he can grab weakly at Bucky’s shirt. “‘Kay, stayin’ awake,” he says and decides to not mention that he can taste blood with each word, instead tugging at Bucky’s shirt a little as he slurs out “just cuz y’re a worrier.”
“That’s real sweet of ya, darlin’,” Bucky says and at least his laugh sounds a little less ragged, a little less like it’s being dragged out of him.
Everything goes a little fuzzy after that, but Tony doesn’t let go of his grip on Bucky’s shirt until the EMTs start heartlessly cutting into his nice suit. Bucky doesn’t let go for even longer.
 -
Tony did something wrong. He doesn't know what, but he knows he did something. Which is just, Classic Tony.
Except he does know, he knows exactly what he did and the knowledge sits in his stomach like a weight. He made it weird. He hasn't seen Bucky since he woke up in the hospital. Not really. Because Tony made it weird.
He’s not even sure what he did, exactly, except possibly everything. He’s got this huge sad crush on Bucky, sure, but he’s had that for ages now, and Tony is dealing with it. He’s dealing with it fine. And okay sure, maybe Tony has been acting like a bit of a creep about it, lately, getting all warm and fuzzy and tingly anytime Bucky does something nice for him. Which Bucky does all the time, because he’s a nice person.
And now Tony has scared him off, somehow, between bleeding out mid-press conference and being discharged from the hospital. Painkiller-Tony probably said something to give himself away, that loopy bastard has no filter.
But Tony tells himself it’s fine. It’s fine. Maybe he’ll finally get over this stupid, useless crush now. It’s not like he feels cold and lonely without Bucky’s constant hovering, or anything. It’s not like the fact that Bucky will barely look at him hurts more than the multiple lines of stitches in his stomach, or anything.
It’s fine.
-
He shuffles slow and careful into the kitchen at stupid-o-clock in the morning, after his second (third?) night without sleep, and there’s no super soldier laying in wait to snatch away his coffee. And force feed him an obscene stack of pancakes. And bitch at him for not sleeping enough when he’s technically still recovering from his unintended run-in with multiple bullets.
The best he gets is Natasha telling him he looks like a zombie and throwing an apple at his head, which really just doesn’t have the same charm. Even if she does do it gently, while giving him concerned eyes.
So Tony gets his coffee, takes his apple, goes back to the lab and wakes up later that day with everything aching because he passed out sprawled across a worktable again. His back is sore and he’s hungry and his stitches burn from being hunched over for hours.
But it’s fine. Tony is fine, he’s an adult, he’s been barely-taking-care-of himself for years. It’s fine.
-
Bucky is still around, is the thing, he still cracks dry jokes at Steve’s expense and hoards all the blankets on movie nights.
He still wanders down to the lab to play with the bots, but it’s not as often. Not that Tony has made charts, or anything, just to prove to himself that it’s not all in his head. He brings down plates of food, also less often, and doesn’t stick around to make sure Tony eats them. Tony never plans to, plans to shove the food away for a proper pout, but after the third time he finds himself finishing off the plate and halfway through texting Bucky about it before realizing better, Tony gives up. He switches to just eating as soon as Bucky leaves the lab, and he doesn’t even have to lie to himself that it’s just a different form of pouting.
When Tony tracks him down to hand over some new body armor, Bucky still thanks him with entirely too much sincerity, like he still doesn’t realize that this is just what Tony does. It still makes Tony’s heart lurch and his stomach swoop and his face heat, but when Tony goes to run away because he still doesn’t know how to deal with that, Bucky doesn’t stop him.
Bucky still watches his back in every fight and suggests weird sci-fi books, still leaves leftovers with Tony’s name on them in the fridge just like he always has. Tony still has his friend, is the thing, and when he tells himself that’s all he’d ever expected it’s not even a lie.
-
JARVIS is the one to gently remind him when it’s time to have his stitches removed, Tony is nearly overwhelmed by the sudden urge to cry. Because he can’t remember the last time Bucky wasn’t the one dragging him down to medical for boring things like follow up appointments, bribing him with baked goods and smiling all the while.
Tony is tempted to just remove them himself, he’s so tempted. Because it’s not like he can’t, it’s what he used to do before Bucky started his whole ‘aggressive mother hen’ routine. He even has the tiny scissors in hand, sterilized and everything, but he can’t stop picturing that sad little twist to Bucky’s lips, the way his eyes go wet and pained when he catches Tony doing his own first aid. And Tony can’t even lie to himself that Bucky doesn’t care anymore, because they’re still friends, it’s not like Tony can exactly blame him for needing space now that he almost definitely knows Tony has feelings.
Eventually Tony throws down the scissors so aggressively that DUM-E makes concerned beeping noises at him, and he definitely gets some weird looks when he stomps into medical grumpy and painfully alone. No one asks any questions about it though, about the sudden Bucky-shaped hole in his side, and Tony wonders just how miserable he must look.
-
He nearly runs straight into Bucky in the hallway at something-past-midnight, and it’s all Tony can do to not spill his extra large mug of coffee all over both of them.
“You give me one more heart attack and I’m actually putting that bell on you,” Tony threatens, clutching his mug close to his chest even though odds are pretty good Bucky isn’t going to try and take it from him anymore.
Sure enough, Bucky only makes sad-eyes at his coffee for about two seconds, then drags his eyes up to Tony’s face and says “Just make sure they sound extra Christmas-y, to fit with my whole ‘winter’ vibe.”
Tony laughs and tells himself that this is fine. He still has a friend, still gets to enjoy Bucky’s weird sense of humor, still gets to see him around in the common rooms and that’s plenty, it’s fine. He almost manages to believe it. “Christmas anti-stealth bells, your wish is my command,” Tony says, nodding seriously. And then he raises his coffee to his lips and takes an obnoxiously loud sip, doesn’t know why he does it except that he absolutely does, stupidly trying to bait Bucky into snatching it away from him, insisting Tony take it easy, get some sleep some time this week, something.
All Bucky does is make sadder-eyes at him, which is not what Tony had been going for now he feels terrible. Bucky opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, then shuts it again, and honestly that’s worse than the way Tony’s stomach still throbs dully anytime he laughs, it’s an aching hurt that settles deep in his chest and makes it hard to breathe.
“Well, I better get on it,” Tony says and takes a shuffling step back because he doesn't know what else to do, he doesn’t know how to fix this. He’s tried to stop having this big stupid crush, fuck has he tried, but he can’t. It just gets worse and Tony is starting to think he’s never getting over it, just one more chronic ache he’ll never shake.
Tony needs to go, he needs to get out of here and go put himself back together so he can stop doing this to himself. But when he turns too quickly it sends a sharp pain lancing through his gut and Tony can’t quite stop the hiss that slips out of him. He doesn’t stop moving though, just pushes through and keeps his steps as carefully measured as he can, even when Bucky makes a soft, wounded noise that sounds like he’s trying to swallow it down.
Bucky doesn’t actually say anything though, and soon enough Tony is alone in his room holding a mug of coffee he’s just now realizing he doesn’t even want. He dumps it out in the sink, crawls into bed for another good pout and ends up falling asleep for eight hours.
-
So Tony keeps feeding himself and getting a good night’s sleep every so often. He even waits until he’s officially cleared by the doctors to start demanding to be let back into the field and he drinks the occasional glass of water. He keeps doing all those things even after he stops hoping Bucky will ruffle his hair and call him a ‘good boy’ in that tone that’s somehow the perfect mix of fond and amused and bossy and maybe just a little condescending.
Because they’re still friends, and Tony doesn’t want to ruin that too. He doesn't want to keep making Bucky make sad-eyes at him across the lab when he catches Tony chewing on coffee beans to keep himself awake, holding a half-melted ice pack to his face and squinting at his screens.
So maybe Tony has a big sad crush, and maybe Bucky figured that out somehow. Probably the fact that Tony got inappropriately tingly when Bucky treated him like a particularly stupid house pet, because Bucky has completely stopped. Tony is not letting himself think about how much he misses it, because that’s not the point.
The point is that they’re friends, and if it makes Bucky sad when his friends can’t take basic human care of themselves, well the least Tony can do is try to do better. It was just a lot easier when he could look forward to Bucky patting his head and calling him ‘good’ in that way that sent heat spiraling through Tony’s entire body.
But whatever. Tony manages.
-
“We should order pizza,” Tony announces, marching into the common room and nearly shouting to be heard over what appears to be half the team heckling a baking show.
“Are you trying to start another screaming match?” Steve demands, giving him a horrified look, “this tower cannot agree on pizza toppings, we’ve learned this.”
“I’ll just order everyone their own, no screaming, no problem,” Tony says dismissively, “I just finished with an all-day meeting that could have lasted an hour tops and I’m starving and the only thing that can make it better is pizza.” He ends his declaration with a whine and a little stomp of his foot, and tells himself that the sound of Bucky’s quiet laugh doesn’t make his chest warm. He needs to get better at lying to himself.
“But then I still have to see the abomination Clint calls a pizza, and how am I supposed to eat like that?” Sam demands, shooting a look at Clint who’s already half on-top of his arm chair and drawing in a huge breath to no doubt shout his rebuttal.
“I’m still going to do it,” Tony says gleefully, drowned out by the onslaught of yelling and already pulling out his phone.
“Are you happy now?” Steve demands as Sam and Clint start whipping throw pillows across the room at each other while Bucky laughs, egging them on and tossing Clint more ammo.
And yeah, Tony kind of is.
-
Someone walks into the workshop and Tony’s head snaps up, but it’s just Clint. Tony is not disappointed.
“Stop giving me that look,” Clint says, pointing one finger at Tony’s face. “Bucky wanted me to come down here and remind you to go to medical. He also told me not to tell you he told me to, but I’ve conveniently forgotten that part.”
“Convenient for who?” Tony asks with a huff of laughter, and ignores the way it makes his stupid heart feel all warm that Bucky still worries, at least, even if he doesn’t actually want to come down and face Tony’s crush himself. It’s still something.
Clint ignores him in favor of poking at the things scattered across the worktables, never mind that most of it is weaponry of some kind, and when Tony throws a screwdriver at him Clint spins around with an unimpressed look. “What’s up with you two, anyways? You’re being weirder than normal,” he demands, throwing the screwdriver back.
“Go tell him I’ve already been,” Tony says, barely managing to catch the tool before it hits him in the face, “my stomach is fine, they just taped up my ribs and gave me a tetanus shot. Tetanus!” And no, for the record, Tony had not spent the entire time thinking about how Bucky probably would have let Tony hold his hand, if he’d been there.
“Go tell him yourself, you incredible idiot,” Clint says, and then starts poking at dangerous things until Tony kicks him out of the lab.
-
“Why are you up before noon and looking like you actually slept?” Video-call-Rhodey demands, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, “who are you and what have you done with Tony?”
“Fuck you, platypus,” Tony says pleasantly, “that’s hurtful, I know how to adult.” The look Rhodey fixes him with in return is so unimpressed Tony’s can feel it in his soul, even through the screen.
“I have known you for years,” Rhodey says slowly, “and I can emphatically say that no, you do not, and- Are you drinking water?”
“What? No,” Tony says, lowering his glass of water back out of frame. Rhodey continues to stare him down, and Tony just stares back, because there is no way they’re getting into this. Tony wouldn’t even know where to start, at this point.
He passes Bucky as he turns the corner towards the elevator, and Tony really wishes he had the time to ask what Bucky is grinning so wide about. As it is he has a meeting with Pepper to get to and best-friend-questions to avoid.
-
“You know what Steve,” Tony snaps, because he can’t take it anymore. He’s exhausted, he’s sore, he has a ton of work to do and he’s tired of being yelled at for shit that’s not his fault. He’s also tired of the sad look Bucky is giving him, like he thinks Tony can’t see him, like he thinks Tony doesn’t know that he doesn’t deserve this.
Steve actually falters, words trailing off as he blinks at Tony because yeah, Tony usually calls him ‘Rogers’ when he’s pissed, or at least ‘Cap’. And yeah it’s one of Tony’s favorite ways of distancing himself, what of it? He can feel Bucky’s stare like a physical weight on his chest, he’s frustrated enough with himself as it is, and Tony doesn’t want distance.
“I’m not a magician, okay,” Tony grits out, doesn’t snap it, keeps his voice even and clenches his fists to keep them from shaking, “hacking an encrypted system takes time, and it takes processing power. Processing power that is limited when I’m also using it to pilot the armor, so yeah, I hacked it as quick as I could, and if that’s not good enough then I don’t know what to tell you.”
Steve gapes at him for a second, eyes wide and mouth hanging open and Tony really wishes he could feel better about accomplishing that right now. “Oh,” Steve finally says, and Tony can’t help but notice that the debrief room has suddenly cleared out around them. “I- I didn’t-“
This is usually the part where Tony would jump on that moment of hesitation, tack on a couple barbs to easily push Steve from thrown-off to angry. It’s surprisingly easy, Tony has practically made an art form out of it. Because Tony is so much better at knowing what to do with people when they’re mad at him. But right now, Tony is tired, and he really needs a shower, and he really needs to get down to the lab and figure out how to up the power in the suit, make sure he doesn’t get caught unprepared again.
And yeah, Tony can still feel Bucky staring at him, and Tony doesn’t know how much longer he can stand it without breaking down and doing something ridiculous. Like demanding a hug. Or to have his head patted, or for reassurance that he did okay. And Tony doesn’t get that anymore, never should have had it in the first place, so he just turns and leaves.
Tony has nearly made his escape, and he’s managing to keep it together, right up until he catches sight of Buck’s face. Tony has spent a lot of time cataloging away all of Bucky’s expressions, telling himself the entire time that he’s not a creepy obsessed weirdo, and he’s never seen that face before. Some mix of happy and surprised and proud, and a hundred other things that Tony still hasn’t been able to figure out how to deal with. Seeing it less often apparently doesn’t stop Tony’s heart from lurching dangerously at the sight of that warm smile, doesn’t stop his stomach from working itself into a tight, heated knot.
No one follows after him, and after turning a couple corners blindly Tony finally lets himself slump back against a wall, just for a second. Just to try and catch his breath, try to fight down the warmth rising stubbornly in his chest.
-
Tony likes doing his test flights of the suits around dusk, when he can help it. He likes watching night fall over the city, likes watching the colors of the sunset give way to the bright lights that come to life in every window.
When he finally heads back for the tower he aims for the roof, figuring he’ll have the suit drop him off and then take itself down to the workshop to start running diagnostics on the new settings without him. It’ll take a while anyways, and Tony hasn’t had dinner yet. And for some reason, all of Tony’s friends seem weirdly invested in his eating habits and are weirdly thrilled when he remembers to do it. Tony is even doing a better job lately of convincing himself there’s not one friend in particular he’s trying to thrill.
Once the armor zips off towards the entrance on the workshop level the roof is dark, and Tony very nearly trips over Bucky on his way to the door. He makes an embarrassing squeaking noise but manages to keep his balance, only wincing a little as his toes throb because fuck what is Bucky’s shin made of?!
“Woah, shit, excellent lurking there, Frosty, truly A+ work,” Tony says, clutching at his chest, and he’s about to re-suggest his whole ‘put a bell on you’ plan when Bucky actually drags his eyes up from the ground to fix on Tony instead.
Bucky looks terrible. Which of course means he’s still one of the most gorgeous people Tony has ever seen, but the dark circles under his eyes hit Tony like a blow to the chest. Bucky’s hair is a mess, lines around his eyes deep and pronounced and he looks tired in a way that seeps straight down into your bones, eats you alive. Tony knows that feeling all too well, but he has no idea what to say in the face of it.
He doesn’t need to ask if Bucky is having a rough couple of days, it’s painfully obvious, and he knows Bucky isn’t going to talk about it if he doesn’t want to. And he very rarely wants to. It would certainly explain why Steve was looking for him yesterday, if Bucky has been hiding out avoiding everyone, which probably means that Bucky has been sitting out here on the roof for who knows how long and will continue sitting out here until he feels like a person again.
The fact that Bucky doesn’t say anything, doesn’t uncurl from his protective huddle against the wall, just stares up at Tony with shadowed eyes, means that he’s definitely not there yet. He barely even twitches when Tony’s stomach growls loudly, just raises one eyebrow slightly even though Tony is pretty sure that was loud enough for people down on the street to hear.
“I’m on my way right now!” Tony defends before Bucky can start making sad face at him, because that is probably the last thing Bucky needs right now, to be worrying that Tony is somehow going to starve to death without constant supervision. Bucky’s lip twitches in the barest hint of a smile, and Tony is absolutely going to count that as a win.
He’s about to leave, head inside and leave Bucky alone to his rooftop creeping, but then something occurs to him. If Bucky has been hiding out away from everyone, it stands to reason that he hasn’t been to the kitchen for food recently. There’s always someone in the kitchen. Tony hesitates for a second, and then decides fuck it. They’re friends, and fair is fair.
“Come on Snowflake,” he says firmly, no room for arguments, and holds out one hand for Bucky to take. “I’ll make you one of my specialties. Do you want a lumpy sandwich, or cold cereal?”
Bucky’s lips twitch ever so slightly further up as he takes Tony’s hand and pulls himself to his feet, and Tony is going to call that a resounding fucking victory.
-
Bucky loves sci-fi. Even worse, he loves cheesy, horrible sci-fi, and he gets a particular kick out of movies that are so inaccurate they send Bruce and sometimes even Tony into fits of rage.
It’s a serious problem, because Tony loves that Bucky loves shitty sci-fi. It’s hopelessly endearing, and Tony is pretty sure it’s only a matter of time before he full on breaks down crying at the entirely-too-adorable sight of Bucky on the couch amid a mountain of blankets, happily humming along to the Stargate Atlantis theme song. Tony is only human, okay? He’s just trying to head back to the lab with his lunch and there’s only so much he can reasonably be expected to withstand.
It’s also a problem in that Bucky tends to get caught up in binge watching something and forget about things like sleeping, or the ever important feeding his super appetite. Which Tony gets, he really does, he is no stranger to getting wrapped up in something and forgetting everything else, so instead of suggesting Bucky take a break from his marathon at least long enough to get food, Tony just shoves his own plate into Bucky’s lap and leaves his glass of water on the coffee table with a pointed look.
Then he heads back to the kitchen to make another sandwich for himself, waving off Bucky’s stuttered, surprised-sounding thanks and refusing to let himself look back.
It kind of spirals out of control from there.
-
Tony sticks his head into the gym where, sure enough, Bucky and Steve are still having their stupid push up competition.
“Let’s wrap it up boys, it’s dinner time,” he calls, and then rolls his eyes when they don’t react at all. “Seriously, you’re both impressive, you both win beefiest belle at the ball, you can punch it out later,” Tony adds as he wanders closer, “Let’s go before Thor eats everything and then comes down here to show you both up.”
“Five minutes,” Steve huffs out between push ups, “He’s about to give up.”
“Like hell,” Bucky grumbles and does his next rep one handed so he can swat at Steve. It’s unfairly distracting.
“I’m evicting both of you,” Tony says pleasantly, “Just like I threatened everyone else with eviction until they gave in and agreed to order from that Korean-Mexican fusion place you’re both so obsessed with.”
“What?!” Steve demands, pushing himself upright on his knees to fix Tony with an affronted look, “why didn’t you say that?”
“Ha! I win!” Bucky says, still doing push ups and grinning at Steve smugly.
Steve looks so horribly offended for a second that Tony can’t help snorting in laughter. Then Steve grins wickedly, shoves Bucky over, and makes a break for the door calling “I’m gonna eat all your food, then we’ll see who wins!”
“Still a sore loser,” Bucky says with a sad shake of his head, pushing himself to his feet. A couple strands of loose hair cling to his forehead and fall around his face, his thin shirt clinging to his chest just right, and Tony’s life would be so much easier if he could just not.
Bucky is staring at him, curious tilt to his head, and Tony belatedly remembers to blurt out “Don’t worry Frosted Flakes, I hid your kimchi tacos at the back of the fridge where no one can get to them. Not that I know why anyone would want to.” The wide grin that breaks out across Bucky’s face still makes Tony’s heart thump dangerously, no matter how many times Tony tries to convince himself that it doesn’t, that it won’t next time. It always does.
“Thanks Tony, you’re the best,” Bucky says, all warm and soft and genuine, bumping their shoulders together gently as he heads for the door. Tony trails after him, face flushed and chest warm, and that was totally worth all the trouble of convincing Bruce that Korean-Mexican fusion is not a crime against humanity.
-
“You need to go lay down,” Tony says for what must be the tenth time since Bucky walked into the lab.
“I’m fine,” Bucky says, again, despite the fact that he is clearly not fine.
Tony waves both hands at Bucky, trying to encompass all of him, the fact that Bucky hasn’t changed or showered since the fight when usually that’s the first thing he does, the way that he’s just kind of standing there letting the bots poke at him instead of chasing them around the lab. “I can hear your spine clicking when you move, and I have normal human ears!” Tony insists.
“No it’s not,” Bucky says, but he’s holding himself suspiciously still. When Tony just stares at him, unimpressed, he adds “it’ll heal.”
“Yeah, if you go lay the fuck down and avoid killing yourself before then,” Tony says, and only barely resists the urge to throw a bolt at him. He’s pretty sure Bucky would just let it hit him in the face right now, and that’s not what Tony is going for. No matter how well it would prove his point.
“No," Bucky says flatly. Tony throws the bolt, and Bucky winces when it bounces off his chest but otherwise refuses to move.
"Then you're going to medical," Tony says, throwing both hands in the air, "I’ll call Steve and he’ll carry you there, don’t think he won’t. He will be delighted to do it."
“I’ll throw ‘im out another window,” Bucky grumbles, and when Tony makes a show of grabbing for his phone Bucky sighs out “fine, fine, I’ll go lay down.”
"Damn straight you will," Tony grumbles under his breath and then blinks in surprise when, instead of heading for the door, maybe back to his room, Bucky slowly makes his way over to the lumpy couch in the corner.
And Tony's not complaining, it absolutely makes sense for Bucky to lay down on the nearest available flat surface, but Tony had really been expecting him to leave. Keep up that friendly distance, and all that. Instead Tony is left just staring dazedly as Bucky lowers him half down onto the couch with a level of care that completely gives away how injured he actually is.
Once Bucky is settled he turns his head where it's propped up on the armrest, only wincing a little, and stares back at Tony. There's something considering in his gaze, and he's probably trying to figure out how long it'll take before Tony gets distracted enough to not notice Bucky making his escape.
After several long seconds of mutual staring, broken only by them both glancing over when DUM-E gets tangled in the blanket he's trying to bring to Bucky and starts beeping in distress, Bucky finally breaks the silence. "Don't I get a cookie?" he asks slowly, innocently, like he has no idea that the reminder sets off an explosion in Tony's chest.
"I already gave you one of my favorite bolts, what more do you want from me?" Tony complains, turning back to his workbench so hopefully Bucky won't notice that his face has no doubt gone bright red.
"Somethin' edible, preferably," Bucky says with a soft laugh that has warmth spreading out from Tony's racing heart and mixing surprisingly well with the sudden influx of butterflies in his stomach.
Tony tells himself that it's fine. They're friends. He's glad that Bucky is comfortable enough to hang out in the lab with him again, making dumb jokes. All Tony has to do is not make it weird. Again. He can totally do that.
He doesn't have any cookies, but Tony does share his terrible energy bars, and when Bucky dares to complain about how terrible they are Tony throws a couple more bolts at him. Injured or not, he can't let that stand.
Eventually Bucky falls asleep, and Tony works as quietly as he can, and it's fine. It’s the closest to fine that Tony has felt in a long time.
-
Bucky’s nose scrunches up a little in disgust, but he doesn’t say anything. No one else seems to notice, arguing over their exact dinner order like it’s a life or death ordeal. They are all usually armed, in some way, so hell it might be life or death.
Tony slumps a little lower in his armchair, just enough that he can stretch out and kick Bucky lightly in the foot. When Bucky looks over at him Tony gives him an expectant look. When Bucky continues to stare blankly at him Tony does a little ‘go on’ motion with his head, and then kicks Bucky again. Just for good measure.
Bucky’s eyes widen, just a little, and then he blurts out “I hate sushi.” Everyone stops to stare at him, and Tony grins widely.
“What? Since when?” Sam demands, looking personally offended.
“Since always, it’s raw fish,” Bucky replies, throwing a pillow that bounces harmlessly off Thor’s head when Sam ducks. “Just get me some rice or somethin’, ‘s long as it’s cooked,” he adds and easily swats Sam’s return pillow away from him.
Steve immediately starts reading off other options from the menu, and Tony continues grinning all through the rest of the ordering process. He’s a little surprised when he looks over to find Bucky smiling back at him, something small and strangely delicate, and Tony just hopes his face isn’t as warm as it feels, hopes it doesn’t show that he’s melting inside.
-
Bucky has been giving him this look, lately, and Tony has no idea what it’s supposed to mean. It’s somewhere between surprised and considering, like he’s putting together the pieces of a puzzle he didn’t even know he was looking at. It’s mildly terrifying.
If he didn’t know better, Tony would think Bucky has figured out about his super secret crush, but that can’t be right. Bucky had already figured that out... right? And if that was the case he definitely wouldn’t suddenly be hanging out with Tony more, he’d be running even further away.
Tony is kind of tempted to avoid him, avoid that look entirely, because as long as he doesn’t know what it means it can’t mean anything bad. The problem with that plan, is that Bucky is suddenly everywhere he turns.
He stumbles out of his lab and it’s like Bucky is just laying in wait so he can drag Tony to the kitchen for an impressive lunch spread. And then he hangs out, watches while Tony gorges himself on soup and sandwiches and leftover donuts, and when Tony shoves the last donut towards him Bucky’s thoughtful little smile gets wider.
Tony doesn’t know what to do with that, or what to do with the warmth that lingers in his chest all day, growing something that feels dangerously like hope. Maybe he should give that avoidance plan another shot.
-
He makes it a full day. Mostly by hiding out in his lab the whole time. When he shuffles out, rubbing at his tired eyes and aching everywhere, Bucky is there before he makes it ten steps out of the elevator onto the common floor.
“What have I told you about sleeping?’ Bucky asks with an exasperated sigh that does not at all take away from the smile tugging at the corners of his lips, both hands coming down on Tony’s shoulders to stop him in his tracks. “And don’t say ‘it’s for the weak’, or I swear...”
Tony hums thoughtfully, then grins up at Bucky, who is standing so very close. If Tony were less sleep deprived he’d probably be more worried about that, more worries about what he’s giving away as he leans into Bucky’s chest ever so slightly. “Must have escaped my mind,” he finally says, grinning wider when Bucky rolls his eyes.
“I believe it was that you need to sleep, Tony,” Bucky says and uses the hands still on his shoulders to spin Tony in place and point him back towards the elevator. He leaves his hands on Tony’s shoulders, which is probably a good thing because Tony is dimly aware of the fact that he’s swaying in place. “Go on, before your zombie face scares Bruce again,” Bucky adds with a soft laugh.
“That was one time,” Tony protests, digging in his heels as Bucky starts pushing him towards the doors, “and I’m hungry.” The last part comes out nearly as a whine, and Tony doesn’t even try to stop it because this is all Bucky’s fault in the first place. Him and his regular meal schedules, and his insisting that Tony follow them.
“Nuh uh, I know how you are,” Bucky says, giving him another little shove towards the elevator, “you’ll go to the kitchen and then you’ll get distracted and I’ll find you five hours later half asleep and having a staring contest with your reflection.”
“Again, that was one time, and I had been up for days,” Tony says with a huff, then squeaks when the heels of his worn sneakers slip against the floor and Bucky’s grip on his shoulders is the only thing that keeps him from falling on his ass.
“Go get ready for bed, doll,” Bucky says and he’s definitely laughing now, “an’ I’ll bring you somethin’ to eat.”
“I want waffles,” Tony demands petulantly and finally stops leaning back against Bucky’s shoving, starts moving towards the elevator instead.
“Waffles, you got it,” Bucky says, all warm and amused, and his hands finally fall away from Tony’s shoulders. There’s a second where Tony starts to shuffle forward, elevator doors already dinging open, and he hears Bucky start to turn back down the hallway, and then Bucky’s hand lands on his head and Tony freezes in his tracks. He’s not even breathing, just holds himself perfectly still as Bucky ruffles his hair.
When Bucky steps away and his footsteps disappear down the hallway Tony is finally able to drag in a ragged breath and start his forward shuffle again. He spends the entire elevator ride thinking it’s a good thing he’s already half asleep, or he’d be really freaking out right now about what this all means.
Tony is slumped down low on his couch and poking at his phone when Bucky turns up with the promised waffles, but it’s totally worth the wait because the waffles are hot and fluffy and covered with the perfect amount of syrup. After Tony eats them all Bucky smiles at him warmly and says ‘good’, and what’s left of Tony’s poor batted soul feels like its been dipped in warm honey.
Tony doesn’t actually remember falling asleep, and he definitely doesn’t remember Bucky carrying him to bed, but he wakes up later curled under the blankets with his socks still on and oh look at that, he’s awake enough to start freaking out again.
Because Tony had been pretty sure he’d ruined everything, given himself away, and now everything is back to normal. Maybe even better. And Tony has no idea what to do. He doesn’t know what’s changed, and he doesn’t know how to not ruin it again.
-
Tony is heading for the gym, figuring he might as well accomplish something if he’s too angry to sleep at three in the morning. Sure, he’s exhausted, but maybe if he gets some of this energy out he’ll be able to sleep. And it won’t even be the first time someone has found him blissfully passed out on the gym floor in the morning.
He passes Bucky in the hallway, and it’s somehow both a surprise and not surprising at all when Bucky catches him by the forearm and pulls him to a stop. His eyes move over Tony’s face, and at least this is an expression Tony recognizes, it’s Bucky’s ‘figuring out why Tony can’t sleep’ face, and it’s a game Bucky is disturbingly good at. Even if it’s been awhile since he last played, not that Tony is letting himself think about that. Much.
“Hey freezy-pop, just heading to the gym,” Tony says and aims for an easy smile, but Bucky frowns at him and doesn’t let go. Not that Tony is actually trying to get free, that would mean losing the warmth of Bucky’s skin against his.
“People problem or math problem?” Bucky asks with a crooked little grin and Tony really hopes it doesn’t show how much it makes it heart leap that Bucky knows that.
“People problem,” Tony says before he’s even aware he’s going to say it, and then sighs as it feels like something tense inside him starts to unravel. “Huge people problem. The board is trying to slip some shady shit past me again, and I have to wait until morning to yell at them. Because I’m, and I quote, ‘not allowed to wake the old bastards up to yell at them’ any more. But I want to, I’m all riled up now and I want to bite some heads off.”
Bucky’s smile gets a little toothier and his gaze flickers down for just a second before he says “As much as I enjoy watchin’ you bite heads, prob’ly not a good idea. Might give ‘em a heart attack.”
“Which would be a bad thing, because...” Tony says and waves his hand in a ‘go on’ type motion.
“‘Cause then Pepper will kill you with her shoes,” Bucky says, very seriously, and damnit he’s right. Down to the exact threat Pepper had used, and Tony’s heart gives another little lurch.
“And that is a thing I do not want,” Tony recites with a sad little nod, and then grins when Bucky laughs. “So that’s why I’m going down to the gym. I’m going to imagine their wrinkled old faces on the punch bags. I figure hey, punching bag therapy works for Steve.”
“No it doesn’t,” Bucky says with a snort, then gives Tony’s arm a gentle little tug and says “c’mon, come watch Star Trek with me.”
“You think you can just distract me with Star Trek?” Tony demands, “because you can. What episode are you on now? Should I grab popcorn? What am I saying, of course I should grab popcorn, come on I need your hands.”
“How much popcorn you plannin’ on eating?” Bucky asks, but lets Tony start dragging him towards the kitchen with a smug little smile, like he’s getting exactly what he wanted.
Tony’s heart gives another little leap, and apparently this is his life now. If he dies tonight, it won’t be from an anger induced aneurism, it’ll be from choking on his own stupid heart just because Bucky is taking care of him again. Because Bucky is smiling at him all warm and fond and a little awed, like Tony is the one doing something amazing.
“Also, I love it when math problems keep me up, that’s the dream. The metaphorical dream, obviously,” Tony rattles as he drags Bucky along by way of Bucky’s hand still on his arm, just firm enough to not lose his grip, thumb stroking over the inner bend of Tony’s elbow as he lets out an amused hum.
Bucky doesn’t let go even as they settle onto the couch with their own bowls of popcorn, just shifts his grip down to Tony’s wrist instead, tap his finger against the wild flutter of Tony’s pulse in time with the opening theme. Tony shovels more popcorn into his mouth, mocks the questionable science until Bucky starts good-naturedly shoulder checking him, and doesn’t let himself think about the fact that Bucky’s hand on his wrist is leaching all the tension out of his body better than anything else ever has.
And Tony especially doesn’t let himself think about the fact that Bucky is giving him that look again. Like he’s solving some kind of riddle. Or maybe like he’s already solved it, and he’s just waiting for Tony to ask about the answer. But Tony is terrified to ask, because fuck he doesn’t want to be wrong. Even more terrifying, he’s starting to think he might not be.
-
Tony isn’t sure how Pepper convinced literally all of the Avengers to dress up to the nines and show up for the fanciest and most painful charity gala of the year. She even got Clint into a tux. Tony does know how she convinced him, at least, which was with threats to both his person and his cars. It was very effective.
Tony is still pondering the mystery as he heads for the common room to round up the rest of the unwilling ceremonial social sacrifices, and instead finds only Bucky struggling with his bow tie. “Either I’m late, or everyone else is extremely late,” Tony says and doesn’t even try to hide his wide grin as he watches Bucky nearly strangle himself.
“It’s both,” Bucky grumbles, yanking at the ends of the bow tie so aggressively Tony is a little surprised the poor thing doesn’t tear, “Some of ‘em were here, but then Bruce spilled his tea all over him an’ Clint, an’ Steve laughed so hard he ripped his shirt. So they all went to change. I think Nat left without us.” Bucky drops his hands to his side and scowls at this reflection in the mirror above the bar, at the lopsided bow hanging loose around his neck.
“That’s why she’s Pepper’s favorite,” Tony says, laughing as much at the story as the defeated slump of Bucky’s shoulders as he starts unknotting the bow tie again. Before Tony can think better of it he’s stepping closer and tugging at Bucky’s arm, all wrapped up in soft black fabric that somehow makes his arms look thicker. “Stop, stop, you’re killing the poor thing,” he says as he grabs for the tie with his free hand.
“Good,” Bucky says with a pout that has no right being so adorable on someone so lethal, “I dunno why it’s bein’ so difficult. I can do a tie no problem, but this?” He whips the bow tie off his neck and eagerly shoves it into Tony’s hand as he declares “bow ties are bullshit. Do you have a clip on around here?”
“Bite your tongue, you heathen,” Tony tells him seriously and forces himself to let go of Bucky’s arm, only dragging his fingers along Bucky’s firm bicep a little in the process. Then he takes a deep breath and steps forward a little closer, until they’re pressed practically chest to chest, and says “Here, let me help you with this before you somehow injure yourself with neckwear.”
“Please,” Bucky says with a heavy sigh, his hand brushing over Tony’s hip just for a second before falling to his side. “I swear I’ve tried fifty times now, you’re my only hope. You always clean up so nice an’ I’m just tryin’ not to make a fool of myself.”
Tony tries to ignore what that particular choice of words does to him. Later, he can work himself up into knots over the fact that Bucky thinks he cleans up nice, thinks he always cleans up nice, like Bucky has been thinking it for a while. But that’s for later, for now he just has to focus on getting this bow tie in place so they can all get over to the stupid gala and live through the stupid night. And then he can go back to his stupid panicked pining.
Focusing on the bow tie turns out to be a little difficult though, because all Tony wants to focus on is Bucky standing so incredibly close to him, the way Bucky is looking at him, eyes half lidded and chin tipped up to give Tony better access to his throat. His first attempt looks even worse, too tight and the bow lopsided, and Bucky barks out a laugh.
“Do you actually know what you’re doing?” Bucky demands, play-swatting at Tony’s stomach, “Are you wearing a clip on?”
“You take that back!” Tony squawks, swatting back at him before he starts aggressively undoing the bow tie again. He needs to get it together, because the longer this takes him the longer he’s standing all up in Bucky’s space, and the more of a blushing mess he’s going to become. And if Bucky hasn’t figured him out already, which is something Tony still can’t get a definite, undeniable read on, then Bucky definitely will now.
Especially because Bucky keeps his head tipped back and smiles lazily in a way that has Tony’s stomach clinging up tight as he asks “Are you trying to kill me, is that what’s happening here?”
“Yes dear,” Tony says, sickeningly sweet, and gives an extra hard tug at one end of the tie, “I’m trying to kill you with a bow tie. Slowly.” Bucky doesn’t say anything, but his smirk gets wider and wider and finally Tony huffs out “Turn around, I can’t work like this.”
“Sure, much easier to strangle me from behind,” Bucky says agreeably as he spins in place to face the mirror again, and his reflection fixes Tony with an expectant look.
Before he can talk himself out of it Tony steps forward and up onto his toes, hooks his chin over Bucky’s shoulder to properly see what he’s doing in the mirror, and brings both arms up over Bucky’s shoulders. From this angle it only takes a couple seconds to get the bow tie perfectly centered and secured around Bucky’s neck, just like it only takes a couple seconds for Tony’s pulse to jump up to truly unsafe levels.
“There, told you I know what I’m doing,” he says with a smug grin and then can’t quite seem to pull himself away, can’t seem to break eye contact with Bucky’s reflection.
“Looks perfect, thanks doll,” Bucky says, low and warm, and raises one hand to gently grab Tony’s forearm where it’s still draped over his chest. Like he doesn’t want Tony to pull away.
“So how did Pepper talk you into this?” Tony blurts, which, all things considered, is probably the least damaging thing he could blurt out right about now.
“She pointed out that if the Avengers look good, it helps your company look good,” he says, like that’s any kind of explanation, still staring Tony right in the eye like that’s supposed to mean something.
“That- that’s not- what-,” Tony says, startled, taking an instinctive step back. Bucky doesn’t let go of his arm, just turns back to face him with his mouth already open to protest. “Seriously,” Tony says, cutting him off and feeling a little frantic for reasons he can’t name, doesn’t want to name, “That’s not something you need to worry about, what- why would that-“
“Hey,” Bucky says, soft like Tony is some kind of spooked animal, which, okay, that feels pretty fair right now. When Bucky gives his arm a little tug Tony steps closer, completely helpless against it. Then Bucky’s other hand is on his face, fingertips just barely brushing Tony’s cheek, the line of his throat, and cool metal thumb pressed oh-so-gently beneath Tony’s chin nudging his head up to meet Bucky’s gaze. “Hey,” he says again, “I want t’ make you look good, okay? ‘S the least we can do after all you do to make us look good. ‘Cause I know that can’t be easy.”
Tony just gapes uselessly for a second, breath caught in his chest, and he’s not sure when he grabbed two handfuls of Bucky’s tux jacket, but he doesn’t think he could let go if he tried. Finally he manages to drag in a shaking break and stutter out “w-we?”
Bucky smirks a little wider, taps his thumb against Tony’s chin, and confesses “I may have helped Pepper ‘talk’ some of ‘em into it.”
And Tony is right back to useless gaping, because what the fuck is he supposed to do with that?! Tony has never expected the rest of the team to worry about the effect their Avenging has on SI, that’s his responsibility, his problem to deal with, and he has the growing feeling that Bucky is trying to tell him something here but Tony is too busy trying not to hyperventilate to figure out what the fuck it is-
“I’m about to enter the common room!” Comes a sudden shout from the hallway, and Tony startles so hard that Bucky’s hand still on his arm is the only thing that keeps him from toppling over. “Please no one throw tea at me this time!” The voice continues and oh, that’s Clint. Of course, because they’re waiting for the rest of the team. Who will be here any minute, and Tony should probably get it together already.
“That was your own fault, an’ I think you know it,” Bucky calls back, smiling just a little ruefully as he drops his hands back to his sides. Tony untangles his hands from Bucky’s jacket and has to resist the urge to smooth out the slight wrinkles he’s left in the lapels.
“Now hold on just a minute,” Clint says as he bursts into the room to defend himself, wrinkled suit jacket only half on and waving a finger at Bucky and Tony sees his chance.
Tony runs. Sure, he says he’s going to get Bruce, but it is absolutely just a cowardly flee. He just needs a minute, he just needs to breathe, needs to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do with all the hope growing wild and unchecked in his lungs.
-
Tony gets home from a business trip and he honestly has no idea what time it is. He doesn’t even know what day it is, the only things he knows are that he’s jet lagged as all hell, and that he just wants to sleep.
When he gets to the penthouse there’s takeout from his favorite Italian place waiting on the table, still warm. There’s also a note that says ‘be a good boy and eat before you pass out for 12 hours’. It’s not signed, but at this point it really doesn't need to be.
He honestly doesn’t know what he’s expecting at this point, when he send a photo of the empty containers to Bucky with the caption ‘I want a cookie when I wake up.’
What Tony gets is an almost immediate response in the form of a picture of one of those chocolate-and-peanut-butter monstrosities that he loves, followed by a text that says ‘see you in 13 hours sweet thing’.
Tony wakes up almost exactly thirteen hours later, and he’s so far past wondering how Bucky does that. He’s also so far past his ‘avoid Bucky’ plan, all he wants to do is go find Bucky, get his cookie, and maybe even get the feeling of Bucky’s fingers ruffling his hair again.
So he does.
-
He’s heading for the elevator to leave for a press conference when Bucky and Natasha suddenly appear in his way, arms crossed and matching terrifying assassin glowers on their faces.
“Seriously, bells,” Tony says, clutching at his chest with the hand not clutching his to-go cup, “bells for everybody, I can’t live like this. I have a heart condition.”
They don’t laugh, but it’s not the usual ‘Tony please don’t joke about your heart condition’ not-laughing, and Tony is instantly on high alert, because something is going on here and he has a feeling he’s not going to like it.
The feeling only gets stronger when Bucky actually hesitates before slowly saying “I know you already talked t’ Pepper about this-“
“No,” Tony says instantly and he can’t believe he ever thought it was kind of sweet that Bucky talks to Pepper, that was clearly going to come back to bite him in the ass some day. Sure enough Natasha pulls out the very same body armor shirt Pepper had been waving at him this morning and Tony groans out “no.”
“You’re wearing the armor,” Natasha says flatly, and it’s completely unsurprising that she’s the one playing bad cop here.
“I am not wearing the armor,” Tony returns, just as flat, “because why would I? It’s a press conference, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“You could get shot again,” Bucky bursts out and his face is doing something truly fascinating, like he’s cycling through emotions too quickly for any of them to properly settle.
Tony can’t help rolling his eyes a little, because are they still on that? “What’re the odds that’ll happen again?” he says dismissively, “Smart assassins never try the same move twice, you know that frosty.”
Bucky’s face twitches harder and okay, apparently they are not yet to the point of joking about Tony’s recent gunshot wounds. Noted. “If you don’t wear the armor? Odds’re pretty damn high,” he growls out and yep, he’s even got his angry-eyebrows on. That’s usually reserved for Steve-levels of stupidity.
“You made this, it's the same material you use for all our gear,” Natasha points out, and okay, maybe she’s not ‘bad cop’ so much as ‘rational cop’. She holds the armor out to him, one eyebrow raised, and demands “are you saying it’s not good enough?”
“That is not what I’m saying, and I think you know it,” Tony says, narrowing his eyes because oh, that’s a low blow, how dare she imply he’d put his team in anything but the best. Her challenging smirk only gets wider, so Tony sniffs and drags his free hand over his chest as he says “I just don’t want to ruin the lines of my suit.”
“It’s the size of an undershirt, your figure will be fine,” Natasha says, but her lips twitch ever so slightly upwards.
Bucky remains staunchly unamused. “Yeah, I’m just gonna put the armor on you myself,” he says with a decisive nod, and Natasha gleefully hands it over.
“I’ll throw my coffee on you,” Tony warns, holding it up like a shield and taking a step back, “it won’t accomplish much, but then you’ll have to listen to me bitch about how I don’t have my coffee anymore. I might even cry.” Bucky keeps advancing on him, armor in hand and a determined look in his eye, so Tony pretends to fumble with the lid of his cup and warns “I’m talking ugly crying here, Bucky-bear, you’ve seen me without my coffee, it’ll be embarrassing for everyone, and-“
"Tony," Bucky snaps, standing right in front of him now, voice low and rough and cracking ever so slightly, "be a good boy and wear the damn armor!”
Tony's stupid heart trips all over itself. Natasha is somehow suddenly all the way down the hall, pointedly ignoring them while sipping Tony’s coffee, and when did she even steal that, and she is very clearly blocking Tony’s escape route. Not that Tony could actually flee right now if he wanted to, he’s much too busy just trying to stay standing under the force of the hot flush that rushes over him, stomach clenching hard and blood roaring in his ears. Tony can’t find the air to reply, can only stare, and Bucky’s face crumples a little further.
“Please, doll? I gotta know you’re safe, I can’t-'' Bucky cuts himself off, clenching his jaw, and Tony feels some confusing mix of horrified and elated. Because of course he feels terrible that he’s the reason for the terrified, pleading look in Bucky’s eyes, the reason Bucky’s right hand trembles slightly as he gives the body armor held between them a little shake. But on the other hand, Tony is the one who made Bucky look like that, cracked open and vulnerable, Tony did that. And oh, he knows that Bucky is letting it show, for him, it’s a gift that he hears the way Bucky’s breath hitches as he pleads “Just- jus’ do this for me? Be good and wear th’ damn armor so I can feel like you’re safe, will you do that?”
Fuck, Tony is pretty sure he’s going to die, he’s pretty sure the entire tower can hear the way his heart is racing in his chest, He has no idea how he’s supposed to respond to that, because all he really wants to do is take that single step it would require to bury his face in Bucky’s chest. But Tony knows he has to say something, anything, Bucky is still staring at him like he’s waiting for an answer, and it nearly knocks him off his feet all over again when he realizes Bucky has been waiting for an answer from him for a while now.
"O-okay," Tony finally manages, voice weak around the way his heart is lodged somewhere in this throat and already shrugging off his jacket so he can just take the stupid god damn armor.
"Yeah?" Bucky asks, voice pitched low, gaze heavy, so much in that simple question. It’s so new and so familiar and Tony is already nodding because oh fuck yes, anything Bucky is offering, anything he wants, yes.
Tony has to swallow thickly a couple times before he can actually say “Yeah, I- I can do that. Wearing the armor, being safe.” Being good, he doesn’t say, but Bucky’s eyes darken like he heard it anyways. Once Tony has finished tugging off his jacket and tie Bucky takes them from his shaking hands, and Tony can only manage a vague huff of protest as Bucky carelessly drapes them over his own shoulder and makes an impatient gesture with his free hand.
And here’s the thing, Tony is not generally what people would call ‘shy’. He left his shame far behind him about a decade or two ago and never looked back. But it’s Bucky, and he just keeps staring as Tony starts fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, and Tony has a terrible feeling the flush on his face is spreading down his neck. He’s more or less gotten used to the scars that litter his torso, his teammates have all seen them and on a good day Tony even forgets they exist. He’s still getting used to the three new freshly-healed bullet holes scattered across his stomach, so of course that’s right where Bucky’s eyes settle and it’s all Tony can do not to fidget, not to snatch his shirt back out of Bucky’s hand.
Bucky’s fingers are warm as they trace over the shiny new skin, ticklishly light and unbearably gentle. “Jus’ wanna feel like I’m protectin’ you,” he says, voice barely more than a sigh, and Tony wants to protest that it’s not his fault but he can’t find the air. Instead all he can do is nod, scared to breathe too hard in case it dislodges Bucky’s fingers from tracing the edges of each slightly raised scar. Tony can’t help the soft noise he makes when Bucky’s hand falls back to his side, already mourning the loss of contact, and Bucky smirks just a little as he says “Arms up, babydoll.”
Tony definitely hears Natasha snort, somewhere down the hallway, but it’s pretty low on the scale of her ‘insulting snorts’ and Tony really doesn’t care right now. He’s too busy throwing his arms up so quickly that it’s a miracle he doesn’t smack Bucky in the face or dislocate his shoulder or something equally ridiculous. Bucky smirks a little wider but doesn’t say anything, just carefully slips the deceptively thin body armor onto Tony’s arms and then gently lowers it down over his head.
Bucky makes sure the armor is pulled all the way down, big hands running over Tony’s hips and the small of his back, and then hands back Tony’s shirt. “There y’ go, nice and safe for me,” Bucky says almost absently as he fixes Tony’s hair and Tony is mostly still just marveling at the open relief in Bucky’s eyes.
“You’re only paranoid because I’m an average squishy human,” Tony tries to accuse, mostly to distract from the way his hands are shaking as he does up his buttons, but it comes out wobbly because even he doesn't believe that anymore.
Bucky’s lips quirk up like he knows Tony doesn’t really think that, but he still says “Nah, I worry cuz its you,” voice soft, like he needs to be sure that Tony knows. His eyes are dark as he watches Tony settle the knot of his tie against the hollow of his throat, and Tony’s hands are shaking so badly that Bucky has to help him get his jacket back in place. “Didn’t even ruin th’ lines of your suit,” he adds with a smug little grin, running both wide palms down Tony’s chest, fingers spread wide, and there’s no way he can’t feel the way Tony’s heart is trying to beat straight out of his chest.
“Lucky for you,” Tony says, voice equally soft, and when Bucky’s hands fall away he drags in a ragged breath.
“Lucky me,” Bucky repeats absently, like he’s talking about something else entirely, and then leans forward. His grip is firm but gentle as he cups the back of Tony’s head with one hand, his lips are dry and soft against Tony’s temple, and Tony freezes up all over again. “Thank you, Tony,” he whispers, lips moving against Tony’s skin and sending shivers down his spine, “always so good for me.”
Tony makes a sound that he refuses to categorize as a whimper, and Bucky pulls away smiling amused and warm and amazed. When Tony steps onto the elevator he’s still trying to catch his breath, but his hands are steady.
-
“You should date me,” Tony blurts out that night, because he can’t not, anymore. Because he’d smiled like a loon all the way through the press conference, face still warm, and at the end Pepper had asked him if he had a concussion, half serious and half knowingly smug. Because the warm flutter in his chest still hasn’t faded. Because Bucky has been giving him that look, and Tony thinks he’s finally figured it out.
Bucky just blinks at him for a second, and okay yeah, maybe Tony could have picked a slightly better place than the middle of the kitchen. At one in the morning. When they’re both in worn pajamas, odds are unfortunately pretty good that Tony has the remains of his PB&J sandwich smeared around his mouth.
He probably could have picked some better words too, so Tony scrambles desperately for some and all he comes up with is “Or, I should date you. We should date each other. No, I mean- yes, but- fuck-“
“Yeah,” Bucky says, cutting him off and still blinking at him like he’s vaguely dazed. “Yeah, we- us. Dating. Yes. Okay.”
Tony blinks back at him, because that sounded a lot like Bucky agreeing to date him, but it also sounds a lot like he just broke Bucky’s brain. “Are you sure?” Tony has to ask, shuffling on his feet a little, “Because-“
“What- yes,” Bucky says, surprisingly vehement, lurching up from the stool he’s been sitting on. Tony dares to let a wide smile start spreading across his face. Still-
“I’ll be a good boyfriend,” he offers helpfully, and really wishes he could sound more sure of that. He’s damn sure going to do his best.
Bucky is up and across the kitchen in an instant, taking Tony’s face in his big, deadly, gentle hands and breathing out “Tony.” He’s moved from looking dazed to looking something almost like awed and he says “Tony, doll, you are already so good to me, I just want you.”
Tony shudders all over and he’s not sure when his hands landed on Bucky’s waist but he’s holding on for dear life. “Bucky,” he sighs, and then, because he’s weak, he begs “Say it again.”
And oh, Tony just knew that Bucky knew what he was doing, and he gets his proof because instantly Bucky tightens his grip, drags his fingers along the hollows behind Tony’s ears. “Gonna be my good boy, yeah?” he asks, breath hot against Tony’s lips, eyes dark and intent, smirk to die for.
“Oh,” Tony gasps and when he shivers Bucky just holds him tighter, pulls him closer, until Tony’s eyes fall closed and he’s clinging helplessly to the broad muscle of Bucky’s back. “I- oh,” he gasps again when Bucky’s thumbs trace along his cheekbones, barely catching his eyelashes, and Bucky’s answering laugh is everything. It’s happy and amazed in a way that makes Tony's chest warm and fluttery, dark and just a little condescending in a way that makes his guy tighten up in heated want.
“I see you, Tony,” Bucky says, low and rough and insistent, “I see everything you do for us, for everyone.” His lips trace the line of Tony’s brow in soft, feather-light kisses, and his voice is barely more than a breath when he adds “For me. Gonna be good an’ let me take care of you back?”
Tony is caught between the urge to nod frantically and the need to stay exactly where he is, Bucky’s hands cupping his face like the most precious thing he’s ever held, so instead he croaks out “Yeah, I- I can- fuck I want that.” Tony cracks his eyes open again, because it’s overwhelming, and he doesn’t want to miss it.
Bucky smiles, happy and proud and heated and a million other things that have warmth spreading through Tony’s chest, curling up tight in his gut, lighting up his entire body. “Can I kiss you, baby?” he asks, lips nearly close enough to touch already, and when Tony throws himself forward Bucky catches him easily, left hand sliding to the small of Tony’s back and pulling him in closer.
The first press of lips is electric, has Tony sighing out a soft noise and then Bucky’s hand still cupping his jaw tilts his head a little further back and Bucky licks his way into his mouth with a slow, consuming determination. Tony clings harder to Bucky’s shirt where it stretches tight across his shoulders and hangs on for all he’s worth, tries to catch Bucky’s tongue between his teeth and shudders when Bucky growls low in his throat.
Bucky’s thigh slots between Tony’s like it belongs there and Tony breaks away from the kiss with a shaking groan as he abruptly realizes that he’s achingly hard, soft cotton of his sweats damp and clinging and amazing. “O-oh, shit-“ Tony gasps out, helpless against the way his hips jerk forwards just once to grind himself against that thick thigh. “God, Bucky-“ he whines, ducking his head to pant against the curve of Bucky’s shoulder and then bites back a desperate noise when Bucky’s thigh nudges up against him a little harder.
“Tha’s real sweet baby, sound so good,” Bucky sighs out as his lips move over Tony’s hairline, down his temple, his breath as heated as his words. He shifts his hand a little lower, spreads his fingers wide over the curve of Tony’s ass and pulls him in encouragingly as he growls “C’mon doll, don’t stop, lemme hear you makin' all those pretty noises for me.”
Tony doesn’t need to be told twice, rolls his hips forward again with another muffled groan. “Bucky, oh my god-“ he whines and presses closer, until he can feel Bucky’s cock nudged up thick and hot against his hip. His legs shake and he just clenches them tighter around Bucky’s thigh, tucks his face into Bucky’s throat and grinds himself forward. The sweet friction against his cock has Tony gasping again, shuddering all over as fire races up his spine and his head spins.
“Good, so good sweet thing, fit so perfect against me, gonna take such good care of you, treat you just right,” Bucky says against the shell of his ear and presses his thigh up a little further, digs his metal fingers a little harder into the swell of Tony’s ass and pulls in time with the roll of Tony’s hips against him. When Tony moans and clutches at him tighter Bucky chuckles again, low and dark, and drags his calloused thumb along the line of Tony’s jaw as he asks ”Damn you’re easy for me, ain’t ya? Gonna come like this, grindin’ against me all desperate and shakin’ for it?”
It sends another wave of heated, slightly-embarrassed arousal crashing over Tony and all he can do is whine again because unless Bucky is planning on stopping him, then he absolutely is. At this point Tony couldn't stop himself if he wanted to, cock throbbing and leaking as he grinds himself against Bucky’s thigh, panting hot against the curve of Bucky’s throat.
He can already feel his orgasm building fast, feels like it’s been building forever now, and his voice is shaking as hard as the rest of him as he moans out “Bucky- please, I- I’m, I can’t, please-“ Bucky silences him with a scrape of his teeth over the shell of Tony’s ear that has him practically collapsing against Bucky’s chest, limp except for the way he can’t stop rutting himself against Bucky’s thigh, chasing the sparks that light up his body.
Bucky laughs again, just a low, warm rumble in his chest, and presses another kiss to Tony’s eyebrow before saying “You’re this worked up you better come for me now, babydoll. ‘Cuz I’m gonna take you upstairs an’ take my time with you, make you feel as good as you deserve an’ put you to bed real sweet, how does that sound baby?”
He somehow makes it sound like both a promise and a threat, and Tony chokes out a noise caught somewhere between a sob and a moan. “Y-yeah, fuck yeah that- oh- fuck please-“ Bucky’s fingers press a little more firmly against the base of his skull, sliding through his hair, and Tony feels like he’s burning.
“Good,” Bucky says, an uneven hitch to his breath and Tony can feel the way Bucky’s cock throbs against him, “Fuck, you’re so good sweet thing, so perfect, feel so good, sounds so sweet for me, c’mon Tony, wanna feel you fall apart for me.”
Every word settles hot in Tony’s gut, has his head spinning faster until all he knows is Bucky’s voice in his ear, Bucky’s hands firm and demanding against him, the rush of his own blood in his ear as the pressure builds inside him. His sweats are going to be ruined and Tony doesn’t give a fuck because he’s so close, thin cotton already soaked and clinging to his cock, thrusts of his hips gone short and uncoordinated as his fingers scramble at Bucky’s back.
“Bucky,” he moans out, completely shameless, and drags his teeth over the line of Bucky’s throat, just because he can. Because Tony still kind of can’t believe the way Bucky shakes and groans against him, pulls him in harder and meets every roll of Tony’s hips with one of his own. “God, you’re so- I, I can’t believe- oh- Wanted you so long-“
“I know,” Bucky says, surprisingly soft and something almost like sheepish. He presses his thumb a little harder to the underside of Tony’s chin and tips his head up again, making Tony gasp at the rush of cool air over his flushed face even as he keeps his eyes squeezed shut because it’s so much. He’s so close to breaking apart at every seam. Bucky’s lips brush against his and Tony whimpers even as Bucky says “I see you now baby, been taking care of me for so long, haven’t you? Been so good, takin’ care of yourself so perfect for me, shit- you’re so good for me doll.”
“Bucky,” he gasps again, so close to the edge, every inch of him tingling, burning, so close-
“Look at me, Tony,” Bucky says, barest edge of a demand to his voice and it still has Tony prying his eyes open instantly. Then he groans weakly because Bucky is right there, blue eyes gone nearly dark, wild and hungry and fixed on him like there’s nothing else in the world as he breathes out “now be a good boy and come for me.”
Tony’s orgasm hits him overwhelming and inevitable, leaves him moaning breathlessly and clinging to Bucky impossibly tighter. Bucky’s hand on his ass keeps pulling him in, dragging it out until Tony is shaking and nearly sobbing into the feather light brush of Bucky’s lips against his own as Bucky calls him ‘good’ and ‘perfect’ and ‘gorgeous’.
As soon as he gets back the bare minimum brain cells Tony tips his chin up to kiss Bucky again, blissed out and lazy and it makes him shiver all over again when Bucky clutches at him tighter with a deep groan. Tony has to break away from the kiss sooner than he’d like because he still hasn’t quite caught his breath, hasn’t been able to get his hips to stop twitching forward as aftershocks race through him.
“Damn,” Bucky sighs, one hand petting at Tony’s hair and the other gentling against his waist as Tony slumps against him fully, “Good boy, so good baby, so perfect for me. Let’s get you up into bed, huh? Spread you out real nice and get my mouth on every inch of you.”
And that sounds good, it really does, but Tony can still feel Bucky’s cock thick and hard and throbbing against his hip, and he wants it now. So instead Tony drops to his knees, moving quick enough that he slides easily out of Bucky’s lax grip, presses his face to Bucky’s hip and nuzzles his cheek against the clear outline of Bucky cock through his thin pajamas.
“Fuck-“ Bucky gasps and his fingers tighten in Tony’s hair, holding him in place as his hips jerk forwards. “Damn what a sight you make, you want it that bad, doll?”
Tony turns his head just enough to look up at Bucky, lips moving against the hard line of Bucky’s cock, and he’s never meant anything more as he breathes out “Please, honey.”
Bucky’s eyes get impossibly darker and his cock throbs, the scent of him thick and heady and Tony’s mouth is watering. “We’re still in the kitchen, baby,” Bucky points out, but he’s already hooking his thumb into the front of his pants.
“I can be quick,” Tony promises, smirking a little because Bucky’s hips keep twitching forward against him, parajams visibly wet where they pull tight over the head of his cock, and this isn’t going to take long at all. And Tony really, really doesn’t care right now that he’s in the kitchen in a tower full of insomniacs, all he cares about his getting his mouth on Bucky, making Bucky feel as amazing as he does.
Bucky groans out something that was probably meant to be Tony’s name, but Tony has more important things to focus on because Bucky shoves his pants down far enough for his cock to spring free and Tony wastes no time trying to choke himself on it. He’s so loose-limbed and orgasm-dazed that when Bucky’s cock nudges at the back of his throat Tony just keeps going, only gags a little even as his eyes water and a whine builds in his chest.
“Oh- fuck Tony, so good, you’re so good baby, so- fuck-“ Bucky’s every word comes out rough and gasping and his fingers dig harder into the back of Tony’s neck, hips jerking forward like he just can’t help himself.
Tony moans encouragingly and clings to his hips, presses his nose to Bucky’s stomach and swallows around his cock. Bucky pulls back and then thrusts himself deep into Tony’s throat with another shuddering groan. Then he does it again, and again, until Tony has spit and precome sliding down his chin and arousal building again, almost painful, in his gut.
“Good, fuck you feel so good, you’re so- Tony-“ The way Bucky groans out the compliments, practically snarls his name, sends a hot shiver down Tony’s spine and has shaking all over again.
There’s a desperate moan caught in Tony’s chest that comes bursting out of him when Bucky abruptly tightens his fingers in Tony’s hair and yanks him back, leaves Tony panting for breath. His protest dies away when he opens his eyes and meets Bucky’s gaze, dark and ravenous.
“Open up, sweet thing,” Bucky growls, metal hand flying over his cock and his other hand still holding Tony in place, so close to the flushed, leaking head of Bucky’s cock and yet so far.
Tony doesn’t even need to think before he lets his aching jaw fall all the way open and he doesn’t care that his face is wet, constant pleading noises slipping out of his raw throat. He doesn’t care that he’s kneeling on the hard tile of the kitchen with his own come cooling in his sweats, all he cares about is getting more.
“Good boy,” Bucky gasps, and then finally comes. It streaks warm across Tony’s chin, the bridge of his nose, into his open mouth, and Tony lets his eyes fall closed again with a pleased moan as he runs his tongue over his lip, chasing the musky taste of him. “Fuck- shit, oh, Tony-“ the way Bucky groans out his name is going to stick with Tony for a long, long time, ringing in his ears, lighting him up, and Tony wants to hear it forever.
He’s still catching his breath when Bucky pulls him to his feet, into his arms, and Tony is all too happy to wrap his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, his shaking legs around Bucky’s waist, and let Bucky take his weight. “Okay, now we can go upstairs,” Tony slurs out as he drops his forehead to Bucky’s shoulder, voice rough, still feeling like he’s floating on air.
Bucky laughs, quiet and rumbling, and his hand is so gentle on the back of Tony’s head again as he tucks Tony’s face down into the curve of his neck. It’s definitely smearing Bucky’s shirt in come but if Bucky doesn’t mind then Tony certainly doesn’t care, just snuggles in closer and wonders if it’s actually possible for his heart to swell straight out of his chest.
“Whatever you want, babydoll,” Bucky says, warm and fond, presses a quick kiss to the side of Tony’s head and then starts carrying him towards the elevators. “Gonna take such good care of you, my good boy.”
Tony is pretty sure it’s not physically possible to get any closer, but he wraps himself tighter around Bucky and gives it his best shot and he mumbles “Gonna take care of you back.”
“I know you are, sweet thing, ‘s what makes you amazing,” Bucky says with another warm laugh, and Tony could probably argue that, because he’s really not, but he decides to let Bucky have this one.
For now. Apparently, they’ll have plenty of time to debate it later, over dates, and Tony is so looking forward to it.
-
Tony wakes up sore in places he didn’t even know he had, teeth marks on his shoulders and stubble burn on his thighs and just- deliriously happy. He can’t even try to convince himself it was some kind of crazy dream, because the physical evidence is kind of overwhelming. The other half of his bed is still warm, and there’s a telling clattering sound coming from his kitchen, and Tony decides he can afford to let himself lay here grinning at the ceiling like a loon for a while.
Soon enough Bucky is back with a giant plate of waffles and a wide smile, pausing in the doorway to drag his eyes down Tony’s bare chest. His hair is a mess and he’s unbearably gorgeous, and Tony smiles back as he realizes he can say it now.
“A beautiful man and breakfast? Help, my heart can’t take it,” Tony says, clutching at his chest with one hand even as he makes grabby motions at Bucky with the other.
“Not funny,” Bucky says, but he’s laughing as he sets the plate down on the nightstand and crawls back into bed, into Tony’s arms, and he’s still smiling softly when Tony pulls him into a kiss.
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faroutharry · 4 years
Text
You feel, I feel
Hey guys, this is my first Harry writing, sorry if it is really shit, feel free to send me ideas for more writing, im very excited to get into this.
length: 2.7k
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Harry’s new album was coming out in less than a week and he was going crazy thinking about how his fans were going to react. “But baby what if everyone hates it?” Harry pouts at me from his spot on the bed, his eyes still puffy and his voice groggy from just waking up. “They aren’t gonna hate it H, they will love it because it comes from you and your heart” I give him a big smile through the mirror across the room. “Hmmmmp” He flops back onto our bed with a big grunt. “Maybe I would be more confident if you listened it to first…” Harry quietly says as he pokes one eye over the duvet. I spin around quickly looking at him as if he has two heads. “What?” He’s using those little puppy dog eyes and staring up at me with hope. “You really want me to listen to it?”
I can’t even begin to explain how tense I feel about his question, On one hand of course I want to listen to it, because he’s my loving boyfriend and he had already told me that there were certain songs that I had influenced. But on the other hand he had also stressed to me that certain songs have been influenced by “other people”. The second he said “other people” like that I knew exactly what he meant, and as heart breaking as it is to me that he has obviously had previous partners, I knew this day would be coming and as selfish as I am, I have been trying to put off listening to the album in fear that I would ruin it for him. I know I’m nothing compared to his pervious relationships and that’s something I need to work through and definitely not something he needs to worry about. Another reason for me avoiding the album is well, I just love him so much that even hearing him talk about his previous pains gives me pain, I can’t even begin to explain how sad it makes me to think that someone has broken his heart like that. Before we started dating we were amazingly close friends, and I cant even tell how many times I walked into his place to hear his strangled cries from shower or his angry yelling in the kitchen. I just want to cuddle him in a big blanket and shelter him from the worry and hurt.
“Of course I want you to listen to it, your opinion is one of the only ones I truly care about baby” He slowly rises from the bed and walks his way over to me, wrapping his hands around my waist and staring at me in the mirror. I try my absolute best to seem as excited as I can be, because I am excited, well for most of the songs. “I would be honoured to hear your album H” I wriggle around in his arms and kiss his lips briefly before hiding my face in his neck. I can hear his heart start beating faster as he says “Really? Thank you so much petal, I can go and get my laptop and show you now if you’re free?” With a pleading look on his face how could I possibly say no? “Yeah sounds good bub”. He runs off without another word into his office.
I try to prepare myself by focusing on my breathing and counting to 10 slowly. By the time I’m done Harry is racing back into the room with his laptop secured in his arms. He jumps onto the bed and pats the spot next to him. I carefully walk back over to my side of the bed and hesitantly get back under the covers, if I’m going to do this I’m gonna be as comfy as possible on the outside, because my insides are going to be a wreck. “You ready baby?” H looks over at me with his childlike grin and I shake my head yes “Just don’t interrupt though, I wanna hear it the whole way through”.  As the intro to Golden starts I breathe in quietly and silently pray it’s not about someone else. Harry stares at me intently as I try not to focus on him right now. I close my eyes and lie down to try to distract him from my anxieties. As Golden ends and Watermelon Sugar starts I start to calm down and juts enjoy his heavenly voice as I know the next 3 songs are ones I have already heard and, from what I think I know, they aren’t based on any ex’s of his. But then Cherry starts…
This is what I was worried about. As soon as I hear her voice I know I’m screwed. My heart is going crazy in my chest and I struggle to keep my tears to myself. I slowly look over to Harry and see that he is staring up at the ceiling and I am grateful he’s not looking at me right now, cause I know he would stop the music and ask me what is wrong. So I suck it up and try to listen to the song over my rapid heartbeat. Hearing him say he misses certain things about his ex is never easy and I swallow down my insecurities and try to focus on the guitars or backing vocals, so I don’t have to listen to the words. Just when I think the gut wrenching song is over, I let out a small sigh of relief. But then her voice fills my ears again, her gorgeous accent and girly laugh flow through me like an alarm, only I can’t wake up from this nightmare because it’s happening in real life.
I look to the computer screen as I now see Harry has also closed his eyes next to me, and see the next song if Falling. If the song title is anything to go by, I think I’m in for a sad time. Harry’s phenomenal vocals distract me long enough to not really listen to the words, but I get the gist and it makes me sink further into my miserable state. I can hear Harry slightly sniffling and so I take that as an okay to silently cry myself. I get through the rest of the songs relatively easy, my heart gets a break during Sunflower Vol.6 and Treat People With Kindness, and right when I think it’s over, Fine Line comes on.
As I’m listening I slowly start to piece things together and realise that, hopefully, this one is about us. Our relationship had a rough start with mixed communication and missed opportunities, but I very clearly remember rocking him in my arms as his drunken tears covered my shoulder, and I repeated the words “We’ll be alright” until he fell asleep in my arms on his kitchen floor. I can’t help the tears flowing down my face anymore and Harry finally notices as I feel his arms pull me onto his chest and he kisses my forehead. As the song fades out I sniffle back my tears and turn to shove my arms around him in a giant bear hug. I push all my feelings aside and look him dead in the eyes as I say the one sentence I know he really wants to hear. “I am so proud of you H”
The next week Harry was super busy leading up to the release of Fine Line and, as I promised him, everyone loved it. His fans were going crazy about it and about a certain song as well, clearly I was not the only one shocked to hear her voice on Cherry. The fans quickly figured out what it translated to in English and though it was a pretty meaningless conversation it still kind of hurt that Harry kept it.
Being the loving supportive girlfriend that I was obviously I played the album around the house, mostly when Harry wasn’t around so that I could skip a few songs to save me the heart ache. But a certain night, when Harry wasn’t due home till late, I was washing the dishes whilst singing to Lights Up and I didn’t hear Harry sneak in the front door. He stood by the doorframe behind me so I couldn’t see the smug look on his face as he watches me sing and dance slightly to his song. When I heard that the song was ending I spoke up. “Alexa, skip 2 songs”. I am a little grateful that I didn’t realise Harry was there cause the look on his face would have shattered me. He slowly turns back to the door with a dejected look on his face. He re opens the front door and shuts it louder in hopes that I will hear it. I turn around with a smile on my face and call out to him. “Hey baby, I’m in the kitchen”. He walks into my line of vision and I can see he looks upset. “You okay H? Bad day?” He shrugs slightly at my question and he quietly states, “Yeah it was alright, I’ll just be in the shower”. His usual loving self is nowhere to be seen and I start to worry. He should be happy, his album is amazing and all his fans love it. So I hurried to dry my hands and race up the stairs after him.
I can hear the shower already running so I open the bathroom door quietly and stick my head in. “H baby are you alright?” I can hear him whimper gently and I waste no time in opening the shower curtain and hopping into the shower fully clothed to hold him. When I do I see he didn’t manage to get his clothes off either and it makes me seriously start to panic because Harry was always the stable one holding me usually. He cries are like daggers to my heart as I plead with him to tell me what’s wrong. “H are you alright? Are you hurt? What’s happened?” He just sobs louder and can’t even get his words out. So I just hold him tightly and slowly try to get him out of his clothes while he cries in my arms. Once I finally get both our clothes off I quickly reached down to plug the bathtub so we can have a bath, because all the crying and water is making it hard for H to breathe.
Once the tub is full, I slowly move Harry down into the water, situating him in from of me so I can wrap him in a giant bear hug. After a while his crying subsides and I ask him again quietly “Harry you wanna talk about it now?” My quiet voice startles him and he slowly lets out a big sigh as he whispers, “I knew this would happen” His voice sounds so broken I just want to take all his pain away. “Baby what are you talking about? What happened?” He gently turns around in my arms so he is facing me. “Cherry” he huffs dejectedly, my breath catches in my throat and I look at him confused. “I know I should of warned you about her being on the song and I swear I was going to I just didn’t know what to say and I know how awful it must have been to hear me sing about her and then hear her at the end and I even…” His rambling is making me confused and he’s starting to speak faster and I can barely understand him towards the end. “H” I try to cut in on his outburst but he can’t even focus on me as I see him start to crumble again. “Harry… Harry!!!” I grab ahold of his gesturing hands and get him to look at me. “It’s fine baby, it was a shock but it’s fine I promise you, it’s a great song”. He looks at me like he knows I’m lying and says, “You don’t mean that” I go to open my mouth to rebut him but I can’t get any words out. “I heard you skip my songs when you were in the kitchen before…” The look on his face makes me hate myself; I quickly shake my head as I feel tears start to escape from my eyes.  “Baby I only skip those songs because it makes my heart hurt to feel you sing with such emotion and pain. I physically can’t listen to you sing about your heartbreak because it breaks mine right back. I can’t even explain to you how mad and upset it makes me that she ever made you feel that way and I don’t ever want you, or me for that matter, to ever feel that way again because my heart can’t take it.” He slowly looks up from the bubbles in the bath to meet my tear filled eyes. “I just love you so much H that I don’t want to ever hear or see you in pain, I swear I think it’s a great song, almost too good, because it makes me feel so emotional” Before I can continue Harry cuts me off with a kiss so deep I cant even think straight. He slowly leans back and pulls me on top of him so im straddling his hips. His hands move around my waist as I grab hold of his neck. I can feel all our love in this kiss and even though both of our tears and some snot is mixed in, it’s the best kiss we have ever shared.
As I pull away, I look into Harry’s eyes and I see his smile start to come back as he kisses my forehead before I place my head onto his chest. And for that moment we just sit there in a comfortable silence and bask in out love. After a while I slowly pull myself up out of bath and with my pruned fingers I grab ahold of Harry and help him out of the tub too. We both dry off and get each other into our pyjamas. As we both get in bed we lie facing each other and I give him a small nose kiss as I say “ H, I so sorry I didn’t tell you about your song, I didn’t wanna upset you about it because its only my opinion, not every ones” Harry pulls me into his chest as he rests his head on top of mine. “I know baby it’s okay, I just love you so much that I couldn’t stand you hating my songs, I know it sounds stupid but I just adore you and your opinion is so important to me, and I know I should of told you about her but I knew it would make you upset and I promised myself I would never do that” I can feel his tears falling onto my head and I lift mine up to look at him. “I just can’t live without you petal and I couldn’t stand to see you mad at me, I’m so sorry” I kiss his tears away and then plant one on his lips before I say “I love you too much H, you could never say or do anything that would make me want to leave, and I know how pathetic that sounds but I just think you’re my soul mate and I couldn’t live without you either baby” His eyes spew more tears, this time of happiness and his grin spreads to his cute little dimples. “Just incase you were wondering Adore You and Sunflower are about you, about how happy you make me and how you make me feel.” I smile up at him with a shocked look on my face; a cheeky grin spreads across my face as I giggle to him “What? You mean Watermelon Sugar isn’t about me?” Hearing his infectious laugh warms my heart and he starts tickling my sides. “Of course its about you petal, im addicted to your taste you know that” And with that he starts sucking on my neck making me laugh as his prickly bread tickles me. I may never be able to go back in time and un-break Harry’s heart, but I can always ensure it doesn’t happen again.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS!!! LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH, IF YOU COULD PLEASE SHARE THIS OR LIKE IT, IT WOULD MEAN ALOT TO ME!!!! Don’t forget to send me ideas pleaseeeeee!! :) 
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