#so im one of those people who really just want things to be better with actual interpersonal improvement

[solace-stars]

context: james breaks up with regulus and cites the reason being that sirius doesn’t want them to be together (“im sorry baby, i really am, but maybe it’s better this way. maybe it’s better to stop before either of us get in too deep”)

Okay maybe James was overcompensating. Maybe he felt like he was breaking apart at the seams, but he just couldn’t lose Sirius. It was bad enough for those few months after The Prank. And maybe he really really thinks he loves Regulus and breaking up feels like he’s stabbing himself in the heart. Maybe he’s saying this to reassure himself that Regulus doesn’t care to that degree about him. But maybe James miscalculated some things.

Because oh. Oh. Oh. James had forgotten. How had he forgotten? He had gotten too complacent. He had forgotten what it looked like, felt like to be blocked off from Regulus Black. Where James was once privy to knowing how every minute twitch of his face represented a shift in his emotions, that was now gone. This was the stone cold Black people whispered about in the hallways. This was the emotionless thing that people didn’t even consider human, that was feared. James had unknowingly bought himself a one way ticket to losing all ties and attachments with Regulus Black, back to how they acted in 2nd fucking year, and oh how it hurt.

Maybe James didn’t belong in Gryffindor. Maybe he truly was a coward, a coward too afraid of losing his best friend that he willingly broke up with his boyfriend. Maybe it’s stupid he just. He didn’t expect it to hurt this much.

~

Regulus doesn’t say much as his face shutters closed until all those layers are reformed. He stitches up his bleeding skin with a smile because really, who was he to think this would last anyway?

“Goodbye, Potter.” And oh, oh, oh, how just two words can rip the wound even further. Regulus is falling apart at the seams, coming fully undone, but it doesn’t matter. James doesn’t care. He doesn’t care and Regulus cares so much that it is a physical pain inside of him. But that’s okay. Regulus knows how to deal with pain. It’s been a constant throughout his life. What’s a little more?

Only, Regulus isn’t prepared to deal with hope. He never really had to. So, when he got some, he let it in unprotected. He let his guard down. He didn’t realize that hope came with barbs that stuck deep into his skin until it was all ripped away and he was left bleeding.

Regulus turns. There’s nothing for him here anymore. He just. He needs to be in his dorm. At least there he can ward it to the nine hells and back and just be alone. He’s far too exposed here in this empty hallway with only a past “but what if” as a witness.

But there is something snarling in him through all this pain. People have used many animalistic words to describe Regulus. Snake, shark, feral cat, wolf. Regulus isn’t afraid to live up to their instincts. He can’t push down that animalistic urge to bite and tear when threatened.

“Oh, do say thank you to Sirius for me, Potter. He deserves it.” And with that he’s gone, disappeared, fading into plain sight. He’s gone before James can utter a syllable, before the fallout can truly begin.

He makes it to his dorm in record time, more thankful than ever that Barty and Evan are not there. He calmly sits on his bed, takes his shoes off, and then climbs further in. He shuts the drapes, mutters multiple spells as he waves his wand until he is fully satisfied that not even Merlin himself could disturb him for the next 12 hours. And then. And then.

Regulus shatters.

#whoopsie daisy who made all this angst!!! #anyway #marauders #marauders era #regulus black #fuck jkr #sirius black #james potter #jegulus #jegulus microfic

[virginmiri99]

Ok. I have a lot to say about this. I think it's been abundantly clear they have been struggling to keep the company afloat, but I also think its a double edged sword bv they bit off more than they could chew in the first place. I've had this opinion for a while but it really cemented since the beginning of Ghost Files. I enjoyed what Watcher was at the beginning, I think they put in good work with Puppet History and it still continues to be their standout show and had a fair amount of "low-budget" shows that filled out the edges like are you scared, too many spirits, top 5 beat down, even their dnd campaign. But as soon as Ghost Files started I began to notice a trend of... idk... bleeding money? Ghost Files was so high budget that I was bored. I get that Ryan wanted to breathe new life into a ghost hunting series but what made bfu so good wasn't the ghost evidence... it was his and Shane's friendship. That's why I liked all their small shows near the start of Watcher--it felt like friends. I think they just continued to go bigger and bigger with more things and more random interns and more shows that it just got to be too much which... led us here. I hate to say I haven't watched their videos in forever, and that ghost files bored me so bad I couldn't even finish some episodes... but thats what happened. I get them moving exclusively to patreon. We all need money. But I wish instead of that, they just focused their energy into their CLEARLY popular series. Puppet History was beyond good--their only series that I didn't mind random guests every episode, in fact it was made better by the random guests--mystery files had potential but came at a bad time, ghost files should've been way lower budgeted and focused on modern house calls TBH! I'm sick of old prisons!!!! And get rid of the fan evidence! Stupid! Also IDGAF about fancy gadgets! All you need is three things and let your humor carry the rest of it. Beyond the "big" series they could have their low budget ones like are you scared, too many spirits, top 5 beat down (the show that I hate random guests for), playing videos games idk man, and like one more or something who knows. But with what they dove headfirst into it doesnt shock me they fell into this hole.... I just wished they realized no one cares about the highest of high budget video series... they care about the dynamic between ryan and shane. Im sick of random ass people in their videos wheres steven lim do a video with steven lim why is he banished to do you taxes. wtf put him in top 5 beat down instead of these random ass random people. the drew gooden one was good though I dont mind actual famous funny people being guests.

anyway those are my thoughts. TLDR they bit off more than they could chew, loss sight of what made them so enthralling, and now are washed up youtubers... saddening

#long post

[cinna-bunnie]

u ever hope an ex is doing good then hear about the direction their life went and it's all just fucking tragic

#i got A Lot of tea from my coworkers who used to b friends with her on lunch bc we share my office #and we went in complete opposite directions. she's changed so much it's kind of scary even to her friends #she cut off all her queer and trans friends and said “[her] values have changed” and agrees with things her idiot toxic boyfriend #says when it's like girl this is SO so disappointing i know u know better. you are so much better than this u deserve sm better than this #i don't know if she's actually gone Full Catholic but she's extremely family oriented n her family is Mexican Catholic iykyk #it was a big problem in our relationship bc I'd only get to see Other People once every couple of months 😓 #anyways new dude is extremely machismo and even by those standards he's Far on the aggressive side it's really scary #she even wants to get married and have kids but like the scenes he makes and the way he blows up on her and makes her cry #really hurts my heart to learn about. she's such a beautiful smart and sweet girl i was hoping she'd figure out what she wants for #herself after we split. and i don't wanna make assumptions about her thought process but it sounds like she got more reliant on her #fam not less to the point that even her friends were stressed about it and aksjdkak. i could see how someone who #has the energy and desire to go to Everything and gets along great w ur fam is nicer compared to like. #a trans woman who feels like a caged animal and is constantly begging for rest she never gets #but are all the sacrifices you're making worth it? there is zero “haha that sucks” it's just. tragic. u cut off ur childhood best friend for #being enby?? I'd imagine she doesn't feel “lonely” but god she sounds trapped and i worry for her #but otoh hearing who she turned into really gave me closure bc no fucking way would i want to date someone like this... #and that is a nice thing to heal inside of me albeit healing from something fucked up #just the thought of “maybe. one day” till y'all have changed so much u can't recognize and don't want each other #i assumed she wasn't the same person anymore bc i wasn't but hoped she changed for the better. but 😐 ig not. idk. #I'm gonna have complicated feelings on this all day im At work and can't focus lol

[snickerdoodlles]

there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it

#its like #people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards #except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that #and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option #and like #vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them #a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr #where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them #part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling #like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other #vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented #like? its not like theres any one way to fandom #and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs #but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like #idk #feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want #.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself! #im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend #i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me #but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs #which is a very different dynamic #its like. hmmm words #i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages #vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal #if that makes sense? #the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe #and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need #before returning to it later when i have more time/energy #its got Longevity that discord lacks u know #........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[hecksupremechips]

Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #its the misogyny yay #but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is #theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game #and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better #like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone #but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone #to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her #its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry #she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck #so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them #and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like #some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh #shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again #much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better #so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon #and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’ #cuz whos gonna stop me

[spider-man-2o99]

when are you gonna see the new spiderverse?

it's not set in stone or anything, but we're aiming for sometime within the first week of its release if we can afford it!!

(on the note of spoilers: i Strongly Prefer to not be spoiled, but they won't like. Ruin My Life or really even my Day, i just would prefer to not be spoiled cause it's. like. a dick move, y'know? thanks. love yall)

#talking tag #asks #atsv #across the spider-verse #generally movies r a luxury we have to wait a couple months after release 2 see but i have been waiting for This One for Five Years so-- #--it is a very VERY special treat :} #...even if they did For Some Reason decide that THE best color to flash wildly during like. Every Mig Scene is Give Cap Migraines Yellow. #foolish fool fools. if you wanted to reference the end of Issue Number One you need a PALER more DESATURATED yellow or a red/black gradient #in fact pushing the Paler Colors would work a lot better to contrast against him in a properly colored BLACK AND RED SUIT. LIKE THIS DESIGN #sheesh he lives in The Bleeding Neon Future but they pulled Future Inspiration from one of those boring sleek white smooth round shape guys #Nueva York in the comics wasnt meant to be a Cool Future it was meant to be half-criticism of Modern NYC by ppl who Lived There-- #--and the other half was Speculation abt what it Could Be if Nothing About The World In (e616s) 1992 Changed For 107 Years #(...dot dot dot. comma. As Written By Overwhelmingly A Bunch Of Middle Class Cishet White Comic Book Guys[TM]. LMAO) #(the good stuff is GOOD the fun stuff is really REALLY fun and the Bullshit in comic book fashion offers up new writers to KILL On Sight <3 #look man im just. im rambling at this point but like i love marvel 2099 i think there are absolutely Some books that ARE worth reading-- #--from the imprint and dismissing All Of It just for being 90s Comic Books is unfair to the many teams of people who worked on them yknow #i Do Not Like Pat Mills (MANY reasons.) but the initial art team behind Punisher 2099 (especially the penciler) put SO much passion into it #people only really remember Spider-Man 2099 today but e928 has a really rich developed lore that i get the sinking feeling we;ll probably-- #--never actually See Again in any of the same capacity that it once existed at. but. yknow. time passes & things change & that's.. fine.

[g00ngala]

i swear i have tmnt opinions yall are not ready for

#hannah.txt #it might not be on here but at least on tiktok theres this like feud between rise fans and 2012 fans right #and its like. i get it if you dont want to call rottmnt your favorite tmnt adaptation. but like 2012? really lol? #specifically people saying its better than rise and its like thats insane to me im sorry #if you want to say the 2003 version is better than rise then you know what? sure absolutely. 2003 goes hard. but like 2012? #to set the record straight i like tmnt 2012 i enjoy it. but not because it is good lmao. writing wise it is an absolute trainwreck #however its an extremely funny trainwreck and it has bits of salvageable characters and arcs #and its like #i dont want to be one of those new fans hating on the old shit or whatever because i really am not #but speaking as someone who is watching through all 3 shows. 2012 is bad and by bad i mean like inconsistent. extremely inconsistent #and like to sit there and say rise is worse than 2012 with your full chest is some unbelievable nostalgia blindness #i luv the 2012 characters and the show is hysterical however a goof 50% it is hysterical on accident and not on purpose #sometimes these 'old fans' (a little funny bc they're obsessed with what was the newest tv show before rise) #are so obsessed with familiar that any break from that is so mind shattering to ttem that they hate it #and heres the thing 2012 is not a wholely bad show i think it is an extremely 2012 show + the writing is misogynistic and not thought out #its just like idk. im not that heated about it i think its just really funny #how dedicated some people are to defending the show with an inc//est plotline and the worst romantic subplots ever #like. are you allowed to like it despite its flaws? 100% . like i said i like it a lot despite my criticisms #but like saying its better than rise or 2003 for that matter... come on now. face reality my friend. be honest w urself #ok rant over LMFAO

[caffeinatedopossum]

Not triggering just personal

I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.

And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!

I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.

#anyway that felt good #i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here #i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is #its not just passively accepted #i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism #i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there #suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed #or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me #im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals #i dont know if i can ever change those things either #i dont know whats worse #the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person #or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed #it hurts so much you dont understand #it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways #but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love #it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult #and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that #i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes

[perenlop]

Sitting on these but I may rename my Cubone hero "Vega" (referring to the "fallen star" meaning) and Skitty partner "Milo"

#also want to rework skitty's personality because i feel like his dynamic with vega is too similar to the partners in other games #like ''the partner is the one with more drive and pushes the hero to succeed despite their own troubles'' #is something im leaning into with psmd and gti already #its hard cause like... im sorry rt partner easily has the least going for them out of all the pmd partners and its kinda sad #i mean they have content but personality wise theyre just... generically kinda supportive of you #it could just be that i have less emotional attachment to the character than with the other partners but yeah #but like rin is happy to be a vulpix and is deeply curious while nimbus is the anxious one who needs a push #and eris had already given up on his life before transforming and is now stuck in a pikachu body and pushed to save the world #and elliott doesnt let xemself express or feel negative emotions because xey think forcing xemself to be happy constantly #is better for them #and still ironing out the psmd team but froakie (hero) is a deeply anxious person who is terrified of the world and their new body #while riolu (partner) is loud and overconfident and has a genuinely kind heart and wants to see the entire world #so while thats still kinda similar to pmd2 its a roleswap and theyre still different #but like... idk what dynamic to go for with cubone/skitty that isnt too similar to those #ive decided that cubone is definitely fucked up cause shes a cubone. im thinking she's someone who is kinda desensitized to things #and is so determined in her goals that she doesn't care if people who oppose her get hurt. which is why pkmn square believes gengar #but where does that leave skitty bc i already have ''hero who is a pessimist while partner is an optimist'' #i had him as this really determined guy who was brave and stuff but i kinda have that already with psmd partner #i have the idea of him being a gardevoir parallel so maybe he'll actually be really gentle? #echoed voice

[naggingatlas]

i looove putting spark over songs about like heroes and saving the world (tom cardy's 'level clear', uncle outrage's 'saved the world' <- nice voice hc for him!. and 'my superhero movie'.) when he like. Did. Not : ) funney.

#sprksplrs #gaia talked about spark wanting to be desired yesterday and while i think he's too much of a Lone Wolf... for those kinds of wants to #even surface. at least in my interpretation of him. its hilarious to think abt him getting. just a tad insecure abt fark's status as #a real like. superhero basically. just for a second in the far back of his head. oh i want to be as cool as him. im not good enough #tho again in my characterization he only wants to do that to be able to love himself. i first got this thought when ruminating on #oh god. what kinda games he n fark like to play respectively? and said 'if he ever does pick up hardmode or a challenge level #he will only do that to one up himself and himself only.' he only proves stuff to himself. he only cares about himself. #and the things that do the most mental damage to him are all scenarios in which his self is attacked. #in which his agency is taken his independence. losing a job to someone something that copies him and does it better than him #something that even copies a really dear object to him thats been with him throughout the years - his jester hat #an attack on individuality. and then being merged into the sim. idk. the yaoi moments when he does work together w fark become even more #potent. this way? and. it contrasts really well with how selfless (at some point in his life very literally) fark is. and how confident in #his self. he turns out to be in the end. as micah said 'how he moves with so much more fluidity in his organic body #the body he created himself because he's no longer afraid of it being fake'. citing that as the bible but yea kinda. #i think spark grew up quite ostracized maybe even self-ostracized and really needs a distinction between himself and everyone else #to be better than everyone else. there is some personality disorder shit happening under that piss yellow scalp. #and he fucking loses it when the events around him hammer in that the facade he builds for mostly again himself is. yknow. untrue. fake. #idk thoughts. i love exploring the antisocial aspect in fictional personas with how shipshipship focused fandoms and 'analysis' #in them is it's not something i see all that much. seems like only people whove experienced it ever bring up that topic. #is it so uncomfortable for others? who knows. ramble over

[joligarcon]

i think that a lot of the discourse re: pronouns ("it's bad to ask for someone's pronouns but it's also bad to use they/them as a default" and so on) comes from an insecurity that binary trans people who are gender-conforming (by this i mean binary trans women who have a very feminine gender presentation and binary trans men with a very masculine one) in that they think if someone asks what their pronouns are, even in good faith, it means theyre not "passing" and that its just a polite version of the ol "are you a boy or a girl" and i totally see where these people are coming from because i feel this insecurity too but my honest opinion, and im sorry if this harsh, is that we need to get over ourselves and understand that many people ask us that question in genuine good faith, or default to they/them, simply because they know better than to assume what our gender is based on our appearance lol. hot take but ive been working on alleviating my dysphoria in ways that dont involve upholding the gender binary or cisnormative ideas such as the one according to which a persons gender always correlates to their gender presentation 100% of the time, and i think yall should too lol. it baffles me to see posts from other trans people, with hundreds of other trans people in the notes agreeing with the op, saying that if someone chooses to be very feminine its because theyre "clearly trying to communicate that theyre a girl" like where the fuck did we go wrong as a community that weve ended up upholding the very gender essentialist bullshit ideas weve been trying to combat for ages. no im not going to address every single nuance of this topic right now because this post is already super long and convulated as hell im sorry please dont yell at me. but one thing i will say is if youre going to ask about peoples pronouns dont just single out the one person whose gender is ambiguous to you because that feels shady and not unlike the "are you a boy or a girl" shit i mentioned earlier

#as a binary trans guy who considees himself masc i do have somewhat complicated feelings about this #because on one hand it feels great when people default to sir or he/him with me #especially because it happens so rarely lol people usually assume im a girl and that sucks #but on the other hand i know its wrong to assume that someone is a man just because they have a masculine presentation #or other things considered masculine like facial hair for example #because there are plenty of people with those things who arent men and dont want to be thought of as men #also im a mature adult who knows better than to throw a hissy fit at people when they ask me a simple question in good faith lol #sorry for all this lol this discourse Really drives me up the wall and i hate to see all the bad takes gain in popularity

[theloveinc]

As someone with a visually weak lazy eye, I'm really grateful for your takes. Listen, the glasses I need to help my vision are too expensive for me right and I have other expenses I have to prioritize, and, yes, sometimes I'm going to skip some chunks if I can not engage with them/don't feel interested/I think they're not as important to the plot in order to actually put some energy in the rest of the reading, and I don't think that makes me a "bad reader" or that "I just don't know how to read", specially when reading, to me, is painful and tiring, but still something I enjoy.

I don't do it always, but anyways, I feel some type of way seeing people commenting such things.

"feel some type of way"....... u are too polite lmfao

#in the tags again bc i can express myself better here and it's safe and warm and lovely #im sure there are actual bad readers and such #but LOL this jump ppl have made from skimming to AUTOMATICALLY bad reader......... GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD makes me mad #to people's credit... i do get the gist of the frustration... #but lumping genuine ppl like u in with actually disrespectful ones ........ i really have a hard time providing any sympathy #or even respect ... to those takes bc... ARE U DUMB?????? #and ofc i think most ppl would say ur circumstances are fair but... not extending that energy publicly.... is depressing #like.. ppl should at least specify who they talking about OR admit they want praise from EVERYONE to the extent they're #willing to be unkind to get it #the idea that this is black and white. 'either u read it wholly or u aren't interested and are BAD'...... is so toxic and evil #and im sorry you're ending up the collateral damage anon #i wish ppl would listen when issues like this are brought up #like being welcoming and kind can do so much for u #even if u do feel certain ways abt things. no one that really matters is saying this frustration is bad... just weirdos on tik tok #which is why we actually do need the leniency and kindness here #another opinion of mine actually: authors do owe the community a kind persona #but that's not this conversation #tho i think it applies in this case #at least to the specification point bc u don't deserve to feel like they're talking abt u #and i'm sorry ur going thru it but i'm glad we agree #let me know if i can support you further #i love and support u and u are NOT a bad reader #caitie answers #anon

[busylilbee]

I was wondering why I've started calling my cat "hey Mimi" because?? Yes, it's cute, but WHY. Is it because of みみ/耳 as in ears???

And then I realized no, it's because one of my best friends speaks like that to her cat, where she pitches her voice a certain way and goes "hey mimiii" (I think she's actually saying something like "hey babyyy" but it sounds like mimi) and now it has slithered into my cat speak!!

#i mean my cats name starts with mi so i was already predisposed to this #i have a google doc somewhere called and its literally just a list of stuff like this #things ive picked up from other people and started doing #if youre actually reading these tags please tell me what random things youve picked up and adopted from others #i wonder if most people do this about the same amount or if some people do it way more of way less #i bet there is a certain trait that makes you more likely fo mimic others bc i have talked very briefly with others about this #and i seem to do it more #i also have a strong tendency to lean into speech patterns or dialects of places im visiting #wirhout meaning to like i have an innate urge to not stand out as an an Outsider?? #so i think i might be primed to adopt habits or mannerisms of people close to me bc i want to mesh with them better or something #idk i didnt really question the mimi thing until today when i was crafting an email to a distant cousin in my head #and when i got the part where i introduce my cat i was like her name is Mila but i often call her Baby Kitty or Little Mimi #and then i was like...wait why is mimi so common fhat its now included in her alternate forms of address?? #anyways i find this stuff fascinating bc i think i pick up at least one new thing a year that sticks for a while #and am now wondering if fhat is common #lets ignore the burgeoning question of what my actual personality is as someone who easily changes how i act depending on who im with #and where i am #bc i KNOW the answer is probably now i am with my main gc or mom #but even then i could pick out things i tailor for those audiences #but thats too much for fonight i need fo drive to the airport early fomorrow and its after 1am yikes #personal #mila #oh nat im talking about you YOU are the friend!! idk what youre actually saying to the stubby baby but this is how it manifested in me lol