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#so instead this is poppin out of the queue
leftduck9986 · 3 months
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Picture This (What's in the Cardboard Box? A Meta/Theory/Watsit Featuring Mary Poppins)
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Happy New Year!
A fun theory for you, told with accompanying picture collages from the Good Omens series, spoilers for Disney's Mary Poppins and occasional quotes transcribed from the Good Omens audio book.
As unbelievably silly this theory is, please remember, DO NOT ASK OR TAG NEIL GAIMAN ON FAN THEORY, thank you kindly.
After Armageddon is averted at the airbase, Aziraphale and Crowley are worried about what will happen to them:
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"Is is over do you think?" Crowley shrugged. "Not for us, I'm afraid."
"I don't think you need to go worrying. I know all about you two. Don't you worry."
Adam knows all about Aziraphale and Crowley, ooOOOOooo!
He ALSO knows:
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that Crowley had seen Mary Poppins on television one Christmas (...) and while he toyed with the idea of a hurricane as an effective and incredibly stylish way of disposing of the queue of nannies (...) outside the Cultural Attaché's Regents Park residence, he opted for a tube strike instead. And when the day came, only one nanny turned up;
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that Aziraphale is extremely intelligent - And it was an angelic intelligence, which, while not being particularly higher than human intelligence, is much broader and has the advantage of having thousands of years of practice. - and what took Agnes Nutter's descendants centuries to decipher, he did in next-to-no-time, and;
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that Anathema Device received Agnes Nutter's Further Nice and Accurate Prophecies and chose not to continue her life as a descendant.
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He stopped halfway across the field. Someone was burning something. He looked at the plume of white smoke above the chimney of Jasmine Cottage and he paused. And he listened. He could hear laughter. It wasn't a witch's cackle - it was the low and earthy guffaw of someone who knew a great deal more than could possibly be good for them.
The white smoke writhed and curled above the cottage chimney. For a fraction of an instant, Adam saw outlined in the smoke a handsome female face. A face that hadn't been seen on Earth for over three hundred years. Agnes Nutter winked at him.
And if Adam knows what Agnes knows, there's no need to go messing anybody about. No need to worry ...
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In the 1964 Disney film, Mary Poppins, Jane and Michael's letter advertising for a new nanny is torn up by their father Mr Banks and thrown into the fireplace. The shredded pieces of paper fly up and out of the chimney.
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After a sudden and rather focused hurricane blows the queue of other nannies away, in blows the Practically-Perfect-in-Every-Way Mary Poppins. During her "interview" she reads from Jane and Michael's advertisement, MIRACULOUSLY intact.
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Musical interlude: when Aziraphale arrives in Edinburgh, the show music makes me want to sing "Chim Chim Cher-ee" (hmm, same style and minor in tonality, with the visual of all those chimney rooftops in-scene - that's gotta be on purpose, no?)
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The heavenly miracle sound - there are 2 parts to it. First, a descending bass, Vvvvvvmmm, second, a choral "ah" layered with shimmering. So, if attempting to sing it A Cappella: "Vvvvvvmmm-AH-shh"
At the end of Gabriel's trial: "I'll just need a-" He hears (edit, Sunday 7th Jan 2024: initiates the miracle with his eyes and we hear) the bass drop, Vvvvvvmmm, looks up in time to catch the cardboard box on the latter miracle sound, AH-shh, then looks inside the box and smiles in recognition. He now has a mission, and whomever has just sent him the box - and what's inside it (edit, Sunday 7th Jan 2024: the cardboard box) - is going to help.
At the very beginning of Heaven's overhead CCTV footage, the cardboard box can be seen with a very dark something inside (zooming in is required at this stage as the image begins small). Being able to see clearly to the bottom of the box's interior, in relatively natural light at the bookshop, one would think the intensely bright light in Heaven would also allow for a clear view, especially from above ...
While the Further Prophecies were only loose pages - Agnes would have known that they were going to be burnt anyway, so why go to the trouble of having them published and bound? - they could have been miracle-d into something modern and fancy, perhaps in the style of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
Gabriel places the matchbox in with it (I know I'd be worried about the fly escaping, as well as it being jostled about with the matchbox once Gabriel turns the cardboard box up-side-down, but after seeing the fly crawl back into the cardboard box just before Aziraphale brings it inside the bookshop, I'm trusting in the fly's ability to be controlled by will of thought and that the fly knows to stay close to its master). He closes just 2 flaps of the box and then a bass whoosh sounds in the right speaker (not part of the soundtrack). The "book" has entered the fly! Has it stayed in the fly?
Then, on Earth, Gabriel approaches the bookshop. The only Whickber Street person seen to be using their phone AS A PHONE and not a camera, [placeholder name "Mary"] is listening intently. Perhaps the voice on the other end of the call says something like, "how goes operation Escort the Queen to the Hive?" and perhaps she answers, "we have the package safely surrounded, it has almost arrived, standby ..."
Then, she and hand-on-face-guy have front row 'seats' (standing room only) to the show, behind Gabriel; beginning to lift her phone when it looks like Gabriel has been rejected entry, before Aziraphale finally agrees to let him in. She is the very first to leave the scene when the mission is complete, signalling for everyone to resume their usual buzzing about, as if to say, "He's in. Aaaaaand we out!"
(These last two paragraphs were a summary of my first Tumblr post, The Whickber Street Bees and Their Queen.)
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When Jim explains that he feels like an empty house, he justifies remembering "how it all began" by looking where the furniture isn't (the gaps!) and it seems that every other instance - lavender eyes activated or not - is covered here with this statement, what with recalling more about where his memory is, as well as Metatron's "institutional problem" line from the trial. The only instance unaccounted for with his explanation, especially because of the trance-like state of delivery followed with Jim in distress (not quite the same as his first memory in episode 2) - the tempest prophecy from episode 3.
Perhaps Gabriel was in part control about what thoughts needed to remain in his head, or it's simply because they were the last ones in use, kept at the forefront by will and repetition, in order to get himself to the bookshop. Though, he was given an ineffable assist, which perhaps included re-configuring the 4 box flaps to collapse, interlocking pin-wheel style?
So, the Whickber Street "bees" have provided an escort for getting the Queen to the hive or if you prefer, the book delivered to the librarian/historian. However, if the book was the first thing to enter the fly and then say, was accidentally swapped into Gabriel for his memories, the Tempest prophecy came forth when Crowley accessed it, by means of a keyword. An INDEX!!!
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Agnes has heard you Crowley, and Agnes says, "N-gotchya."
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According to a previous meta/theory, the event this prophecy is referring to has already happened, so it would make sense that, as Anathema's mother says in S1E2, "The answers are always in the book, it's just sometimes you don't see them 'til afterwards."
Or rather, as Anathema says to Newt in the book: "[Agnes] managed to come up with the kind of prediction that you can only understand after the thing has happened ... she just picked up one little fragment of information ... most of the time she comes up with such an oblique reference that you can't work it out until it's gone past and then it all slots into place."
It would have been only too obvious to hear Jim speak this prophecy in the English style of the 1600s! But if the echoed voice we're hearing is Anathema's - did she ever pronounce the extra "e"s and "a"s at the ends of words, in the show?
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When Gabriel has his memories returned to him, has the book re-entered the fly?
When he and Beelzebub are reprising Everyday, is Gabriel, with his left finger, releasing the fly into the room, for Crowley to capture shortly afterward once 'alone' (the chair facing the staircase)?
WITH. HIS. TONGUE???
Just after Aziraphale touches his fingers to his lips, is he repositioning the fly for safe-keeping, as with The Bullet Catch?
Finally, in the lift during the closing credits, Aziraphale is trying so hard NOT to smile before giving in. It's as if ...
As If ...
AS IF HE IS READING THE BOOK!!! Discovering and reading the book, turning the pages with his eyes right before the big smile!
AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now Aziraphale knows what Agnes knows.
From experience, he can trust that any prediction made by Agnes Nutter will always be "on the money."
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ellie-e-marcovitz · 11 months
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April 1999 - London and Paris
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31 March 1999
Waterloo International
My heart raced as we hurried through Waterloo, rushing for the international gate line. I was in a wheelchair, being pushed by Jane, and closely followed by Stephan, who was pulling luggage.
I had given my students about an extra week off to prepare for the upcoming exam I would be giving after break. Jane and Stephan had taken the morning to bring me to the station, before hurtling back to Leicester for afternoon classes.
Nearing the gate line, and the brief security check on the British side, I pulled out the necessary documents, including an explanation about my legs. Passing through wasn’t horrible, and I gave a quick wave to Jane and Stephan, before heading for the platform area.
Somehow, I managed to wrangle my luggage and find my seat without too much trouble. I still wished that Jane and Stephan could’ve made at least part of the trip with me.
Getting down to the platforms took some creative thinking, as there was a long enough queue. So I took the banister instead. And with juust a touch of magic.
And I don’t think anyone noticed.
Departing from Waterloo was uneventful, at least in terms of British rail travel. There was a slight delay, a couple minutes at most, before we set off.
As the cityscape transitioned to countryside, I pulled out my Paris travel guide and started flipping through it, annotating as I went. I also practiced my French, considering I had used it only sparingly over the past couple years.
Pausing only to have my ticket punched, I figured out the quickest route to the French Ministry of Magic.
Reaching Kent, I enjoyed the approach into Folkestone, taking in the sight of the English Channel in the distance. It was just clear enough that I could make out the cliffs of France in the distance as we got closer to the Channel.
Slipping in, the compartment lights brightened, and I shook myself a little. Being in the “Chunnel” was mildly disconcerting, even as it closely resembled any of the tube tunnels under London. Granted, I was never entirely comfortable underground, despite our proximity to London.
Instead of watching steel fly by, I decided to reread Black Holes and Time Warps. Still, I couldn’t quite forget that there was quite a bit of water above us.
+
France
Arriving in Paris was something of an adventure in itself. There were border checks at the first French station we stopped at, and it took awhile, despite my grasp on the language.
Re-boarding the train, I silently hoped procedures were set to change. This was tedious.
Finding my previous spot, all I could do was blink. “Erm… Pardon-moi, mais…” I started, gesturing to my coat and book. “Ce siege n’est pas…”
All I received was glares.
“Fine.” I grumbled. “Mon livre et mon manteau au moins. »
I grabbed both, sticking them in my bag. I left my suitcase on the luggage rack until we arrived in Paris proper.  I ended up walking the length of the train, before collapsing into a seat halfway down it and talking the attendant into letting me stay.
Pulling into Gare du Nord, I was glad to get off. I’d had to move twice more before we arrived, both times because I’d invariably taken someone else’s seat. Which lead to trading insults in French before finding my original seat free.
I gathered my things as we pulled alongside the platform, and made my way to the exit, ready to escape the confines of the train.
Disembarking, I made my way out of the station. Happily, I managed to catch the lift, thus avoiding a Mary Poppins situation up the stairs in the process.
Once outside, I contemplated my options. I could either walk from Gare du Nord, through the heart of Paris and hopefully arrive in time to get a Portkey, if I didn’t get lost; or, I could hail a taxi, and then walk from a point much closer to the ministry.
Glancing at the time on my phone, I decided to not walk.
Having called a cab, I thumbed through my guide again to find a workable drop off spot. A café nearby to the French ministry caught my eye, and I noted down the address.
Cab acquired and address given, along with an eyebrow raise, it was a hair-raising twenty minute drive, complete with running commentary. So it was with some relief that we reached Les Deux Magots.
Paying the cabbie, I got out, pulling my suitcase with me. I waited until the cab had disappeared down the street, before walking over to le Place de Furstemberg.
Entering the French Ministry, I made a direct bee-line from the security area to le bureau des transports. There was a little bit of a wait, considering the holiday weekend.
It took maybe forty-five minutes to reach the international portkey desk, and another twenty getting the details worked out. Thankfully, the portkey officer made it somewhat easier to remember which was which.
I was set to take the one to New Zealand after lunch.
It took a little bit, but I decided to remain close and took lunch at Les Deux Magots. Despite the throngs of tourists, it was clear that this was also a favourite of some ministry officials.
There also seemed to be paparazzi hanging around the bushes as well. I was glad I had my sunglasses.
Savouring the last of the coffee, I settled the bill as my wand vibrated in my pocket.
“Mademoiselle Marcovitz,” came the soft voice of the portkey official who had helped. “Les clés du portage internationales que vous commandez sont prête. Retournez vite au ministère s’il vous plait. »
Grabbing my things, I hurried back over to the ministry. I could’ve easily spent most of the break hanging out in Paris, even if Easter was this weekend. But Eileen had asked/ordered the family to visit her in New Zealand, as she was missing everyone greatly after being with most everyone last year.
Hence the international portkey, even as I would’ve preferred to fly there. Holidays had unfortunate habit of raising prices.
Arriving back at the portkey office, I was handed a box with the Romania one inside, followed by the half-deflated beach ball.
Tightening my grip on my suitcase, I grabbed hold as the portkey official let go.
« Bon voyage ! » she said, and I felt the typical, uncomfortable feeling of being jerked off my feet. I felt disoriented, as the portkey pulled me along through space-time. This had to be the closest someone could get to travelling through the Time Vortex without a capsule.
New Zealand
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asp1990 · 2 years
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Day 8: Thursday June 30th, 2022 [LONDON]
Breakfast: Berry compote, yoghurt & muesli with a coffee from Pret a Manger Lunch: Pepperoni pizza and a G&T from Bella Italia Dinner: Sweet potato, lentil and spinach curry with garlic naan from a pub on curry night
Steps: 14, 401
We had a slow start this morning after realising how exhausted we all were after a big week of exploring. I slept in until 9.30am and Amara wasn’t next to me – she’d gone to sleep on the couch because she felt unwell, had a cough, and had lost her voice. Oh no! I showered, did a load of washing, and called Tiff while waiting for everyone else to get ready.
We left the house at 11am and finally had a breakfast at Pret A Manger. We’d seen a few in Paris, but they are everywhere in London. I had a yoghurt and muesli with a coffee and a raspberry slice which was delicious! We then walked to the Underground to get the train. We got two stops in and Amara said she’d put us on the wrong train, so we went back and Tim and I figured we had actually gone the right way, so we’d wasted about 20 minutes. I took over directions and we stopped at Baker Street 🎷 and changed lines to get to Piccadilly Circus.
Coming up from the station, it finally felt like we were in the London I’d seen on TV. There were Union Jacks everywhere and we were in the heart of the theatre district. We took our classic red phone box photos, visited MnM world (which was stupidly big – 3 levels!), and took photos with the cute bronze statues of Mr Bean, Clifford the dog, Harry Potter, Mary Poppins etc. We walked over to Trafalgar Square and heard some awesome buskers before walking in the direction of the theatre where we were going to see the matinee of Back to the Future. I was so excited!
Tim and I had lunch at a cute Italian restaurant chain called Bella Italia while Amara went to Greggs. She lived here a few years ago and was craving it. Tim and I shared a pepperoni pizza and had a gin and tonic. We met Amara in the Adelphi theatre and the pre-show curtain was awesome! There were lights out to the size of the stage and all the way up to the roof. It looked great. The show was sensational. I couldn’t stop smiling. The original songs were a bit questionable, but the casting was spot on, the sets were amazing, the DeLorean was unreal, and they incorporated all the original music from the film. I will see definitely see it again if/when it comes to Melbourne!
The show finished at 5.30pm. Tim had booked tickets to see To Kill A Mockingbird and Amara and I had tried to get lottery tickets to see Cabaret, but weren’t successful, so I booked us rush tickets to see Dear Evan Hansen that only cost £30 each. We walked up to Oxford Street and saw the UK version of Kmart called Primark – it was a huge department store and the queue for the registers was over 100 people long. That put me off looking at anything, so we wandered back out to the street and found somewhere for dinner. Tim and I were thinking hot pot, as we’d walked past a dozen places, but Amara wanted ‘traditional English food’ so we went to a pub instead. It was curry night, so Tim ordered a vindaloo, I ordered a veggie curry and Amara ordered chicken and chips… not very English. While we were finishing our food, the heavens opened and it bucketed down outside. The awning of the pub filled with people who’d been on the street and I had to giggle at how aghast they were. Didn’t it always rain in London?
The rain let up by the time we left, which was nice. Tim walked to his theatre and Amara and I made our way to the Noel Coward theatre to see Dear Evan Hansen. We were right up the back next to the lighting desk, so we couldn’t see the top of the stage, but it wasn’t too much of a hindrance. The band were on a platform in the top left hand corner, so we couldn’t see them, but we could see the actors just fine. The lead, Sam Tutty, was a standout. He was so captivating in his role and was able to nail both comedic timing and moments of pathos. I loved it.
Amara and I messaged Tim after the show finished, but he wasn’t out yet, so we caught the bus home together. Again, Amara got confused about which bus to take, but I was able to figure out that she was right the first time. The bus took about 25 minutes and when we got to our stop, we pushed the button and the driver didn’t stop. What’s the point of pushing the damn button? Luckily, the next stop was only 1km up the road, so we had to walk back in the dark down a main road. Not ideal, but we got there eventually.
Back in the apartment, I put my washing away and Amara decided to sleep on the couch again. Tim got home about half an hour after us and we all went to bed. We had another slow start tomorrow. Tim and I might go exploring without Amara so she can feel better and then we have an immersive theatre experience booked at night – exciting! 😃
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tau-mp · 2 years
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But...Germs
Zoomed it from here if that's okay!!! w/ @aresmp
The God's tone nor the pools of anger swirling through his eyes stopped Tau from wanting to help. The Egyptian demigod wasn't good on social queues, so to be honest he just figured that anger was from what had just happened, not directed at him.
So unfortunately, he did not follow what he was warned to not do, instead he unzipped his shoulder bag, pulling out wet wipes and some gauze wrap. Because of all of the excursions he's done, he got in the routine of bringing things with him that he never knew when he would need, like a small first aid kit, wipes, travel tooshbrush and toothpaste. It was like a marry poppins bag of goodies that was always very organized.
Without even taking a second glance at the mess of bodies that didn't seem to phase him; he helped anyways. "Here, at least clean off the blood. If you got an injury at all under there it is not safe to have foreign blood so close to yours." He spoke softly, always sounding a sense of angelic almost. Not much emotion came through, but his tone was most always so soft and fluid unless he was teasing someone. The demi god, unknowing of the wrath that could ensue from this, bent down to press the wipe to Ares' knuckles, not touching his skin at all, just wiping gently, a little corner of his tongue sticking out from focus.
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mokutone · 3 years
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sometimes i think abt yamato and i just. h.
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lilbabycee · 4 years
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Hello! I have fallen in love with miles and I was wondering if we could have another one about a family barbecue with the avengers 🥺 I live for his relationships with his aunts and uncles! Thanks so much 🥺❤️
anon, yes!:
it’s tony’s suggestion initially
he wants to “boost morale” and thinks that “it could be a lot of fun, babycakes” and you shrug, nodding because it’s not a bad idea
but then he gets mad and leaves because you ask him innocently: “but who’s gonna cook? cause i know for a fact it’s not gonna be you”
so you stand in the hallway as you relay the information to your husband and your very sleepy, newly three-year old son miles, one of miles’ arms circled around steve’s neck and his other hand on the end of the pacifier that bobs in his mouth, eyebrows furrowed as he listens to you, his long lashes sweeping his cheeks
you shoot steve a look when you see the paci because you’ve definitely been hiding it so that you can wean your son off of it
(it’s still better than sucking his thumb) but as you glare at your husband, he simply smiles because he’s a pushover
“sounds good, sweetheart,” steve kisses the crown of your head and when the both of you fall silent, miles raises his hand patiently looking between the two of you
“go ahead, bud,” steve laughs at him
putting down his hand and pulling the paci out of his mouth, miles still looks lost: “daddy, why are we having a-a bar-bar-barbecue? is there a birthday?”
“no, miles,” steve smiles, “uncle tony wants to have a barbecue because he thinks that it’ll be fun.”
“but it’s a party - you can’t have a party if it- it- there isn’t a birthday!”
miles says it with exasperation and smacks his hand on his forehead, like it’s so obvious and the both of you are idiots for even suggesting otherwise
“honey, people can have parties when it’s not their birthdays too - sometimes having a party can just be fun and that’s why people do it.”
miles listens to steve’s explanation patiently, blinking up at him and then nodding slowly, handing his dad his pacifier - steve throws it on the table and you make a mental note to hide it later - and looks far more alert than before, a smile spreading on his face
“mama, can we go to the barbecue?” he looks up at you pleadingly, hope shining in his cerulean eyes and you can’t help but roll yours because that’s the exact same look that your husband gives you when he wants something
“of course we can,” you boop the end of his nose playfully and he scrunches it up, giggling and squirming in his dad’s hold while you tickle his sides
“mama, stop, i gotta get ready!” he slides down and falls through steve’s arms, shocking you - “oh my god, miles, stop that!” - because he must’ve dropped at least five feet onto a hardwood floor
he sprints to his room and steve shakes his head fondly as you bury your face in your hands because your son is a maniac
(the barbecue is also tomorrow but you help him pick out his outfit regardless)
miles is up extra early the next day, jumping on both you and steve at 5:30 in the morning, before steve even has the opportunity to head out for his run
“okay okay, bud, we’re up,” steve groans encasing his son in his large arms and pulling him down to lay on the bed while you shove a pillow over your head and try to get back to sleep
“mama, get up!�� miles whines and you can hear the smile in his voice
“yeah, mama, get up,” steve teases, nudging you with his foot and you rub your temples because you live with the most exhausting human beings
you make a light breakfast for the three of you after you all fall back asleep at your insistence, giving miles a bath and washing his hair while steve takes his own shower
then you trade off, steve putting miles in his chosen outfit while you go and get ready
you wear a sundress, appropriate for the scorching heat outside, while steve emerges wearing a white t-shirt and light wash blue jeans; he’s carrying your son who’s wearing a red, white, and blue striped shirt under a pair of denim overalls
your heart melts because he is so his father’s son and looks so cute and you can’t help but kiss all over his face
“so cute, baby,” you tell him and he smiles so sweetly that you kiss him again. “alright, let’s go.”
and so you do, leaving your house and heading to the compound where tony has set up a very extravagant barbecue and although you guys are on time, the place is already bustling with all of your friends
miles jumps (yes, jumps...again) out of steve’s arms and runs towards where peter and shuri are sitting, clambering on top of shuri’s lap to throw his arms around her neck (”hi, auntie shuri! i like your hair!”)
he then turns to peter, parking himself in his lap and grabbing his hands, presumably wanting him to “do the web thingy” (even though peter’s explained a million times that he has web shooters, he still entertains your son’s pestering)
“you made it,” tony, dressed in a silk hawaiian shirt and shorts - and pepper, who has her hair down in loose waves, approach you - the former claps steve on the back and his wife kisses your cheek
“this all looks great, you guys,” you compliment them, steve’s hand on the curve of your waist to tuck you into his side
“thank y-”
tony’s interrupted by pepper slapping his shoulder, to which he lets out a loud “ow!”
“thank you,” she says instead, giving you a bright smile. “i’m not just gonna let him take all the credit now, am i?”
“no, dear,” tony grumbles, cracking a beer open and handing it to steve
“let’s get you a drink,” pepper winks at you, looping an arm in yours and dragging you away from the men but not before steve presses a kiss to your forehead
“he’s still so in love with you,” pepper gushes, looking at you with wide eyes and a grin
you shrug, suddenly feeling bashful, and avoid eye contact with her. instead, you see that miles is now on his auntie wanda’s back, the two of them running away from natasha. the redhead catches your eye and smirks, speeding up her jog to a run which makes miles squeal and hold on tighter to wanda
“i guess so,” you admit, grabbing a mimosa off of the table. the two of you toast to “i don’t know, y/n... what about happy and healthy marriages?...no, that’s corny - let’s toast to good sex.”
pepper leaves you to go and find tony because “he was supposed to be getting dessert but i have a feeling he forgot”
“what’s poppin’, lil bit?” sam greets you with a cheeky grin, slinging his arm over your shoulder as bucky sidles up next to you on the other side, playfully shoving you with his shoulder because he’s carrying your son on his other side 
“hey, doll,” bucky grins as well, short hair framing his face wonderfully, although miles seems to miss it because he keeps running his hands through it with a slight frown on his face
“hey sammy, hey bucky,” you lean over to make a funny face at your son, distracting him temporarily from bucky’s hair. “sam, i thought you were gonna be cooking today.”
“i did, but then big guy over there insisted that he should take over,” sam rolls his eyes and jerks his thumb over to point at rhodey who is wearing an apron that says ‘trophy husband’ and it makes you snort out loud
“whose apron is that?”
“i think it’s tony’s,” bucky answers, miles now out of his arms, running away from him and towards his uncle tony who is standing with “momo!”
miles and morgan embrace each other dramatically and then morgan starts what is presumably a game of tag, sprinting away from miles and giggling happily while your son chases after her
“cute,” you say and bucky chuckles
“but isn’t my apron better?” sam stops the three of you in your tracks so that you can stare at sam’s white ‘kiss the chef’ apron
“meh,” you and bucky shrug, laughing loudly when sam shoves you and bucky, grumbling something about jealousy
bucky goes after him, giving you a wink before jogging lightly after his friend
miles is now sitting in nakia’s lap, t’challa and thor telling him stories that have his eyes wide and mouth wide open in awe - you make eye contact with nakia and she blows you a kiss that warms your heart
(“uncle thor, where’s your hammer?”...“uncle ‘challa, can- can you- what about your claws?”)
sam is now trying to wrestle the spatula out of rhodey’s grip, the two men fighting beside the grill while bucky and clint look on in amusement
“hey, dollface,” steve’s hand slips around your waist and he pulls you back into him, dropping a kiss on your lips. “having fun?”
“yeah,” you sigh. “you?”
“definitely. i’m kinda hungry though-”
“food’s ready!” tony calls out right on queue, obviously having broken up the two chefs and deeming it time to eat
lunch is delicious and so much fun that your stomach hurts afterwards, not from overeating but from how much you’ve been laughing
miles sits on sam’s lap the whole time, the two of them pestering “uncle ‘ucky”, but since it’s miles, bucky doesn’t mind at all
(he’s shooting sam looks that could kill but the gap-toothed man only smiles charmingly and continues throwing food at his head)
you’ve had enough mimosas to be a little tipsy, just enough to feel relaxed and loose, leaning into steve’s side as rhodey tells another one of his stories that makes everyone groan
but then nat and clint take over, sharing tidbits about what happened in budapest that have everyone on the edge of their seats
the sun is setting by the time people start leaving - you’re tempted to stay longer but miles is getting sleepy and a little whiny
“mama,” he tugs at the bottom of your dress and his blue eyes are barely open. “m’tired.”
“yeah?” you swing him up into your arms and his head immediately rests on your shoulder, arms around your neck and eyes slipping closed. “okay, baby, let’s go home.”
and so you do, saying your goodbyes and driving back home
you and steve are on the couch, cuddled up next to each other while soft music plays in the background, the low lights in your house making you tired
miles is still sleeping on you (you tried to put him down earlier but he wouldn’t go to bed, so you’re waiting until he’s deeper asleep)
“sleepy, baby?” he glances at you, eyebrow raised and voice quiet. you nod, yawning and burying your face in his shoulder. “okay then: sleep.”
“what, right here? we’ll just go to bed, babe-”
“i’ll take you both to bed later. i’m comfortable and i’m sure you are too, so sleep, sweetheart.”
“...okay.”
and when you fall asleep not even two minutes later, steve admires the way the planes of both of your faces look in this light and his heart flutters at the sight - he can’t believe how lucky he’s gotten and presses a kiss to your cheek and then miles’ because he can’t help it
you sigh and shift in your sleep, curling further into him and it’s in moments like these that he knows he wouldn’t trade his little family for the entire world 
i am in love goodbye
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matildainmotion · 4 years
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The Monstrous Shame of Motherhood and the Quest for a Cure
I feel exhausted. Even-more-than-usual exhausted. Whoever knew that staying at home could be so incredibly tiring. We have our daily outings – mainly to the golf course, which is the nearest green we have. The other evening, when we had finally made it out the house, and the children were running ahead of me across the fitted-carpet grass, I had a thought: “Maybe it will be okay,” and instantly I wanted to cry. It wasn’t a thought only about the pandemic. It was about the lot: the pandemic, plus how to get an autism diagnosis for my son that supports him, plus my 78 year old mother staying well, plus my husband’s work and the theatre community surviving in a post-Covid world, plus managing to finish my book, plus both my children’s long term futures, plus the world’s long term future and climate change, plus racial inequality, plus economic inequality, plus gender inequality, plus, plus…..
In that moment I realised that a kind of deep worry is such a constant for me now that I have grown accustomed to it, so that it is like the planes that used to fly over our house in London – a noise so familiar that after a while I no longer hear it, and yet it is there, every few minutes, unnoticed, another monstrous metal groan. And when it stops - when the planes stay down, when the worries lift up - the sudden silence is startling, enough to make me cry. But – here’s the thing- thanks to the lockdown I have realised that it isn’t just worry to which I have grown accustomed in this way. There is something else, even more monstrous, which it has taken me a long time to name – and its name is shame.
I believe the shame comes from a thousand ‘shoulds,’ from the many things I feel I should be doing as a mother and am not.  Motherhood, along with the paraphernalia of nappies, wipes and purees, comes with a huge bundle of shoulds. The very first thing I did, nine years ago now, on discovering that I was pregnant, was to rush out to Waterstones and buy a book on what I should and shouldn’t eat during the next nine months– and that was only the beginning. The shoulds come from everywhere, a mountain of well-meant advice, not only from books, but from doctors, midwives, family members, partners, friends, other mothers, even complete strangers. I remember standing in a shop queue with my three-week-old son in a sling, when the woman behind me leant forward and touched one of his toes. “Where’s his socks?” she said, “He’ll catch his death of cold.” On the one hand I felt reasonably confident that carrying my son around sock-less was not going to endanger his life, on the other, as a brand new mother, I was nonetheless shaken by the idea that my son’s survival was up to me, and that many different people had many different ideas about how best I should fulfil my role of raising and protecting him. At times, even my instinct, that famous maternal inner guide, seemed like a mysterious thing that someone else had told me I should follow.
Mothers Who Make began, in part, as a response to all these shoulds. When I went along to the new mother and baby groups, that I also believed to be obligatory, I noticed a distressing pattern. All too often we were simply swapping ‘shoulds’ with each other and coming away feeling worse than when we arrived. No place or position was safe: I met mothers who felt they should be breastfeeding, mothers who felt the need to put a label saying ‘breastmilk’ on the bottle they fed their baby in public, as well as mothers who felt they should be weaning their baby and moving rapidly onto solids. I met mothers who felt bad about co-sleeping and mothers who felt bad about not doing so. In those early days of mothering - when you should be feeling overjoyed - there are even charts that tell you what should be happening when, how much your child should weigh, by when they should be making eye contact etc. It is not that these charts are entirely unhelpful or inaccurate, but they certainly encouraged my constant questioning: is my child okay? Am I okay? Am I doing this right? And if I thought I wasn’t, if I was not doing what I should, I felt ashamed.
I have felt many parallels between lockdown and early motherhood – the sudden cessation of all usual activity, the focus on ‘intensive care’ and care-taking, the washing, the sense of vulnerability, the way leaving the house seems like an epic adventure, the isolation and longing for connection. And, as in early motherhood, our diverse lives are again apparently aligned. We are all in the same situation: all the mothers in those baby groups had a new born / all the mothers I know now are in lockdown due to a pandemic. This makes comparison seem possible, even appropriate. There is a set of scales around again – I weigh our lives on it and find myself at fault.
Let me give you a small sample of some of the shoulds that fly low over my home, through my mind, like aeroplanes, a few of the many that I have collected over my nine years of mothering. I should get my children to bed earlier. I should give them less screen time, or it shouldn’t happen first thing in the morning, or I should manage the whole issue of screens in a better, different way. I should give them less choice about what they eat. I should make sure they eat more fresh foods and less sugar. I should make them help around the house more. I should hold the structure of the day better. I should make sure everyone stays at the table when we’re eating. I should take steps towards weaning my daughter. I should never resort to threats – to the ‘if you don’t stop x, you won’t get y’ pattern. And so on and so forth – you get the gist. And because I do not do these things - and I imagine a thousand other mothers who are doing them wonderfully - I feel ashamed. I realise as I write this that my ‘shoulds,’ as listed here, are nice, white, middle class ones- signs of privilege. Shame is a heavy word and it is associated with far darker things than letting your kids watch too much telly. I want to acknowledge that my issues are trifling compared to those many have to navigate, but shame, whatever the context, is still shame and it is powerful. As someone who was once anorexic, I know that shame can sit alongside privilege and that, where present, it undermines the ease of even the most comfortable life.
Back in Jan 2019 I wrote a blog about guilt. I now think I was muddling up some of my guilt and my shame. In general, I feel guilty about specific instances that have an immediate, present moment, ground-level reality: I shouted at my son when he blasted water over the bathroom with the shower head and that triggered one of his big, aggressive rages. If I feel guilty about something, I can say sorry about it, to the person or people I have wronged, and then it’s over. Shame, for me, is more like the ongoing aeroplanes, it is long term - a long haul flight. On the bad days, motherhood seems like a very lengthy exam, the end of it still twenty years away. My children are not the examiners – certainly not for now – they are the results. Depending on how the children turn out, I will pass or fail. There are external examiners, keeping track, making notes, of all the things I am doing or not doing. And who are they, these examiners? I think, somewhere in my psyche, there is an impressive panel of them, made up of everyone who has ever shared ‘a should’ with me, from the author of the book on what to eat during pregnancy, to the woman in the queue who wanted my son to be in socks, to the many other authors, friends and strangers who have offered me advice - they are all sitting there, scribbling on their notepads, shaking their heads. They are not bad people. Many of them are people for whom I have enormous respect, which makes it worse. I believe in their advice – seriously, I should be following it.
In my blog on guilt, I found my guilt a figure – made it into an image that helped me connect to the things that mattered to me, lying underneath the guilt. It turned out to be a Mary Poppins-like character, flying a kite. I think my shame has a very different form. There is the panel of judges, frowning from a distance, and then there is the shame herself, much closer in, and, like the sound of the low-flying planes, she’s monstrous.
My son’s latest obsession is the Beast Quest books (he has moved on from My Little Pony - woe betide you if you mention his former interest to him). There are over a hundred Beast Quest books, all with the same basic formula – boy meets monster. Giant birds, snakes, insects, spiders, bears, apes, hounds, trolls, ogres, dragons – you name your flavour of nightmarish monster, it will be there. I am glad to say there is a reasonable spread of gender representations across the monsters – sadly none of them are trans but there are some mothers. My ‘shame monster’ is definitely a mother. She is immense, stinking, gruesome and green. Her roar is the soundtrack of my days, to which I have grown accustomed. In some of the Beast Quest books the beasts are evil and must be destroyed, but in some they are good, set under an evil curse, from which they must be freed. I think my monstrous shame mother is one of these – good at heart but under pressure, after years of judgement, she has turned malevolent. And here is the irony: I believe her malevolent aspect has a more toxic impact on my children and our household, than any of the things such as screen time, sugar, late nights, unstructured days, which have driven her into this terrible state. Her constant growling makes me tense, fractious and very, very tired. I don’t think I can go on like this. So, what to do? How to release her from the curse? And who would she be without it?
Often the opposite of shame is presented as pride. But I think pride too is problematic – the panel of judges, external examiners, is still present in the dynamic, it’s just that they are giving out good marks instead of bad. So, if the shame-beast, when transformed, does not turn into the proud mother, who does she become?
As ever, when I am wrangling with a question in my mothering, I look to my making for answers. Throughout the lockdown I have been writing whenever I can. Always, when the children are having their screen time. Often, when I should be getting them dressed, or focussing on making us breakfast, or preparing them for bed. I don’t write because I should. I write because I want to do it, because it helps me give things meaning, because it brings me joy. I think back to that teary moment on the golf course, watching the children run ahead of me over the grass. What made the worry lift, the planes stop, the monster turn out good? Yes, I think it was a moment of joy. I think, when the gory green monster is not sweating with shame, she is lit up with joy.
So much, so often, is laid at the mother’s door. On the one hand we are ‘just’ being mums, with minimal status, doing an insignificant job, and on the other, we are accorded huge significance – everything can be traced back to us, to our care or the lack of it, our early influence. I do not wish to deny our responsibility as mothers, but I do not believe our shame helps us to shoulder it, or that we should shoulder it alone. When I started Mothers Who Make I wanted it to be a held peer-support space where women could share their challenges without shame, and celebrate, even cultivate, their joy. I wanted to create a group in which we did not find further fault, did not inadvertently end up undermining or judging one another, adding to the great big bundles of shoulds already carried. It is why it is still vital to me that we welcome every kind of mother – breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, those who keep their mothering and their making strictly separate, those who take their children to work – every kind. It is also the same impulse that lies behind our Matronage scheme. Rather than a panel of judges telling us whether or not we are worthy, I want to see whether we can hold each other up. We have been asking people to become our ‘Matron Saints’ by giving us the price of a coffee a month - £3. We need 300 of you to become self-sustaining. So far we have a fantastic 99! Once we reach 100, I am going to announce a new project in celebration– a way, I hope, to keep the same ethos of grassroots peer-support alive and kicking – kicking off the shoulds, turning them into wishes and dreams.
And in the meantime, whilst you are all rushing to bring us over the 100 Matron Saint mark, (go here to do so: www.motherswhomake.org) these are your questions for the month: as a mother and/ or as a maker what are the ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ you carry around with you? Do your ‘shoulds’ turn into shame? And then- as an antidote to this -what brings you joy? In your mothering? In your making? As we slowly emerge out of this pandemic, can you do more of this? Can you create a more shameless world? Can you help make the monsters joyful?
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padfootagain · 5 years
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Singles Will Be Paired (II)
Part 2 : Ugly Sweaters
Here's the second part of my series for Ben! Again, this is very cute! I hope you all like it!
Gif not mine
Word Count : 2734
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You and Ben opted for hot dogs instead of sitting for a full meal. You kept on walking through the magical streets, eating and laughing. In the middle of the main lane, the snow had melted under the steps of all the visitors, only the borders and corners of the streets were still covered in white. You marvelled at the many decorations suspended through the passages, and the tall Christmas tree visible in the distance. People were taking pictures with the costumed characters of Mickey and his friends.
This charming stranger who had volunteered to be your partner for the rest of the day in Disneyland was wearing his funny Christmas hat again. A red series of 'Ho Ho Ho' was sewed in the white fur that decorated the red hat. You couldn't help but smile at the sight, and Ben noticed your amused gaze.
"What? You don't like my hat?"
"It's both adorable and ridiculous," you chuckled.
"Goes well with the scenery!"
"Why… you don't like Disney and you came to Disneyland?"
He laughed.
"I love it. It's magical. And I'm all for feeling like a kid all over again."
"You're not a cynical guy?"
"Not at all."
"Good! I would have broken our contract if you were a killing-joy!"
"I love Christmas," he went on. "I'm coming home to spend Christmas' Eve with my family."
"Are you staying in Paris until then?"
"I am," he nodded. "My brother was supposed to accompany me, but he fell in the stairs a week ago and broke his leg. He can't walk, and we reckoned that it wasn't the best idea to come here, but he insisted that I shouldn't waste my holidays."
"Same for my friend, she almost forced me in this plane!"
"I have to admit that I'm quite grateful that he insisted. I'm having a great time."
"Me too."
You exchanged a smile, passing before a couple of shops that sold tons of souvenirs.
"What's your favourite Disney movie?" you asked Ben out of the blue.
He shrugged, before narrowing his eyes a little.
"I can't choose just one, that is such a cruel question! The Jungle Book is great though… perhaps that one… but I don't know…"
"I understand you," you chuckled.
"Do you have a favourite?"
"Mary Poppins, I think."
He rolled his eyes.
"Of course if you bring up a cinematographic masterpiece into the fray, how can I compete?" he joked, making you laugh.
You started humming softly A Spoonful Of Sugar, and Ben soon joined you. You kept on walking and humming for a while, finishing your meal and walking through the magical little village. You explored Alice's labyrinth before walking towards more roller coasters. And by the time you were joining another queue together, you were either laughing thanks to his jokes, either humming tunes that had followed you through your childhood.
And you had to admit that it was a very lovely afternoon that you spent with Ben. The more time flew by, the better you felt by his side, and the more you wanted this day to never end…
But eventually, the sun started to sink beyond the horizon, and lights were alit throughout the park and gave another magical touch to the whole place. Something even more magical, as lights shining through darkness always brought the brightest thoughts and hopes, after all. And right before Christmas, lights were brighter than ever…
You walked back towards the entrance of the park in a slow pace, almost reluctant, and by your side, Ben didn't seem willing to quicken his steps. So, to make the day a little longer, you decided to have a hot chocolate before heading back to your lonely hotel rooms. The warm beverage was more than welcome with the cold weather outside. By then, you and Ben had shared a few personal details about each other, and when you had finally recognized him as an actor, you had become curious to know how the world of movie-making worked. So while you drank your hot chocolate, the conversation drifted towards cinema and Ben shared with you many funny stories he had lived on set.
"Don't laugh at me, it was scary!" he protested as you doubled with laughter.
"You're hilarious!" you managed to say between two waves of laughter.
Ben's cheeks took a redder shade and you knew that it wasn't because he was laughing too.
"I don't know if it's meant as a compliment or you're just mocking me," he joked.
"A compliment."
You kept on laughing but Ben slowly went quiet, merely staring at you. A smile lingered on his lips as he listened to your laughter, and he couldn't help but feel happier at the sound. He studied your features more in detail, and his smile grew fonder. Yes, you were definitely… charming. He wondered if you would accept to see him again once this day was over and you didn't need him to get a ride in roller coasters anymore. Perhaps… he could convince you to keep this arrangement of yours for the next day.
Behind you, a family was settling at a table, and two of the children seemed particularly… excited. They were running around the table and didn't seem to care at all about their parents' warnings. Instead, they were playing loudly and laughing as they ran.
You finally grew quiet again, taking a sip of your hot beverage, while Ben was gathering his courage and taking a deep breath, before diving.
"Y/N… I was wondering…"
His voice was shy all of a sudden, he was stuttering a little again, and you gave him a reassuring smile, silently inviting him to continue. But he didn't have the occasion.
As you rose your cup to your lips again, the children behind you accidentally pushed you quite roughly as they ran too fast, and you spilled hot chocolate all over your pullover…
You gasped, your eyes growing round as you watched the large brown stain left on your jumper, and you cursed under your breath.
Ben winced as he handed you his napkin.
"I'm not sure you can clean that up," he told you with a shrug.
"Brilliant," you mumbled angrily. "I'll be back in a sec."
You walked to the bathroom and tried to clean up this mess, but indeed, no matter how hard you tried to get rid of that chocolate, a large brown stain remained impregnated in the fabric. You heaved a frustrated sigh before going back to Ben's table. You let yourself fall back on your chair.
"I only brought one more sweater with me, and it's not as warm as this one," you told him. "Perhaps I should buy another one. That'll make me a souvenir."
Ben chuckled, before enthusiastically nodding.
"Let's go then! Before you catch a cold with that wet sweater!"
He stood up and gave you a bright smile. Looking for a jumper still meant making one more activity with you, and it might be the last time he saw you… as long as he could be with you for a little longer, he was up for anything.
And if at first you had been annoyed by the idea of searching for a sweater, now that Ben was coming with you, you were rather keen to the idea… After all, you didn't know if he would want to see you again once you would have walked out of this place tonight.
"Doesn't that bother you to come with me?" you asked him rather shyly, but he answered with a warm smile.
"Not at all! Anyway, it's not as if I had better things to do! It's that or watching crappy TV on my own, so…"
You chuckled, but stood up too, paying for your drink and following Ben to the door.
You walked down the main lane towards a shop, and once again, you welcomed the warmth inside. The shop in itself was richly decorated for Christmas as well, and many children were running here and there, excited smile on their faces. The air smelt like gingerbread and oranges. Everything felt like Christmas and magic…
You walked through the shop in search for Disney sweaters, and when you finally found some, you had to admit that you were rather disappointed.
They all looked rather ridiculous. At least, the ones available in adult sizes were. You were terribly jealous of that lightly purple sweater with a beautiful decoration reading 'May the Force be with you' on it. Instead… you were stuck with a sweater with the head of Pluto making a very weird face. Not that you had anything against the yellow dog, but the sweater was just ugly…
Ben hummed by your side, frowning hard.
"Looks like you won't have much of a choice," he sighed.
"I feel terrible for these poor characters to be on such ugly sweaters…"
Ben laughed, but had to admit that you were right.
"I'll look utterly ridiculous," you moaned.
"Come on, it's not so bad!"
You rose an eyebrow in surprise, before picking up a fuchsia sweater with a Mickey Mouse head upon it that looked like he was having a heart attack, and you pressed it against your torso to show him how you would look like in it. And he couldn't help but laugh.
"Yeah… that's terrible," he nodded.
"Poor me," you dramatically groaned.
He gave you a bright smile, a mischievous glint alit in his eyes.
"Well, if you are doomed and have to look ridiculous for the rest of your trip, then I'll help you feeling better!" he offered.
"And how do you intend to do that?" you asked back with an amused smile.
"I'll buy the ugliest sweater I can find too," he answered matter-of-factly.
You exploded with laughter.
"No, I can't let you bring this on yourself, Ben! That's very generous, but that's too terrible!"
"I won't let you feel miserable about yourself. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time people laugh at me. Being an actor, I came at peace with that idea a long time ago."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am! But then, we need to find the most hideous ones…"
He looked through the sweaters and picked up an ugly green one with Pluto wearing a santa hat and making a very weird face that was supposed to look like he was happy, but looked more like he was a psychopath and was about to try to kill you…
"That will go with my hat, don't you think?" he asked with a laugh.
He chose the right size, before trying it on and putting his one Christmas hat as well. You couldn't help but laugh.
"You look dashing!" you laughed.
"I know," he nodded, unable to stop a smile to cross his face. "Which one do you pick?"
You looked at the fuchsia sweater you were still holding.
"I guess that one is horrid enough, don't you think?" you smiled at him.
"Good choice," he nodded, taking off the sweater and the hat again.
You chuckled, looking fondly at Ben, and you didn't think about the words you spoke as they passed your lips.
"You're one of a kind, Ben. You really are adorable."
His cheeks and ears turned crimson in the blink of an eye, and he clumsily ran a hand through his jet-black hair.
"What would your boyfriend say if he heard you compliment another guy like that," he joked his way out.
But your voice was more serious as you replied.
"I don't have a boyfriend, so we're in the clear."
You intensely stared at each other for a moment, and you lost yourself in his dark brown eyes. You studied their colour for a while, feeling like the whole universe had shrunk around you. And for a while, there was nothing but these two dark eyes in the whole world. You realized that they came closer to you, but didn't make a movement to walk away again. Instead, you took a step towards them as well. Only when you could feel Ben's nearness did you finally realize how close he now was to you. He didn't try to lean down towards your lips, although you saw his eyes jump down to settle upon them for a moment. He gave you a warm smile instead, and your heart skipped a beat. You noticed that his breathing wasn't quite even anymore, and your own breath matched his. It felt like being under some kind of spell that prevented you from looking away, from moving away… or for even wanting to do so. But you barely knew him, how could you share that kind of moment already?
You forced yourself to look away, and it seemed that you needed such an amount of strength to finally tear your eyes away from his face.
Eventually, you cleared your throat and proposed to go paying for the sweaters. Ben followed you without a word, but with a smile and flushed cheeks.
Now having a very ugly pair of sweaters, you and Ben both walked back into the cold of winter, slowly advancing towards the gates of the park. A comfortable silence had settled between the two of you, but you hadn't made proper eye-contact since that moment you had shared in the shop. You didn't feel uncomfortable around him because of it though, just… apprehensive. You were just a little scared that you would never see him again.
And Ben didn't dare to speak. He was scared that you would never want to see him again after tonight. He felt angry against himself for letting himself be drown to you so easily. He shouldn't have walked so close to you. What had happened in his head?!
You had happened. It was pretty clear. He just couldn't help it, the way he felt attracted towards you, as a comet pulled by gravity towards a sun.
You reached the large gates and walked out, still in silence, until it was time for you to part and go back to your hotel rooms. Ben waited for you to speak first.
"Well… thank you for today. It was great," you shyly smiled.
"I had a lovely day thanks to you," he nodded.
"And thank you for sharing some sweater-shame with me," you joked, making him chuckle.
"No problem."
"Well… I guess… it means goodbye then," you gave him a warm smile.
He nodded slowly. He wanted to ask for your number. He wanted to ask you to see him again. He wanted…
But his words didn't match his wishes.
"Goodbye, Y/N."
You slowly nodded, before slowly turning around. You started to walk away through the night, the road lightened by lampposts and Christmas lights.
He could hear his brother's words already, speaking a truth he didn't want to hear.
Ben, you moron! You should have asked to see her again!
And he mentally slapped himself for being such an idiot. Jack would be right. Ben liked you. He wanted to spend more time with you. He hadn't felt this way in ages. If he let you go now, he knew he would regret it for years.
"Y/N!"
You froze, before slowly turning back towards Ben, who was already hurrying after you. Soon, he was standing by your side again.
"What about we spend tomorrow together too?" he asked in a rush, his nerves getting the best of him. "I mean… we're still alone here, right? And I can still hear with both ears…"
You let out a laugh, before nervously touching your hair.
"What would your girlfriend say if you spent two days in Disneyland with another woman?" you half-joked.
But he answered with a large smile.
"I don't have a girlfriend, so we're in the clear."
You stared at each other in silence for a moment. Until your smile widened into a grin.
"I'd love to spend tomorrow with you, Ben," you whispered.
You both felt your cheeks heating up and let out a shy chuckle.
"Let's meet here tomorrow morning then, when the park opens," he proposed.
You nodded in agreement.
"I'll be here," you promised.
"Good night, then, Y/N," he grinned.
"Good night, Ben."
This time, he didn't stop you when you walked away. He didn't need to. Instead, he threw his fist through the air and towards the sky in a sign of victory.
He would see you again tomorrow…
*********************************************
Tag list : @geeksareunique @giggleberts @madamrogers @sad-orange-thoughts @aylinnmaslow @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla @drinix @joelynnp @mxrihollxnd @rockintensse @newtstarmander @iammadeofstarsandlazyness @presstocontinue @ilmiopiccolounivers0 @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynight-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things
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The French Connection - Chapter 4
A HardyxMiller AU
Ellie Miller is left to go on her honeymoon alone after a devastating secret about her fiance comes to light - halfway through the wedding ceremony.  Sitting in St Pancras International in London waiting for her train, she runs into none other than her uni rival/best friend Alec Hardy, on the run from his own recent heartbreak.
They decide to make use of Ellie’s pre-paid trip, rekindling their friendship and escaping real life; yet, it turns out their years at uni are the hardest to outrun. Based on this prompt from @timepetalscollective  
Chapters will be posted every Wednesday and Sunday.  Beta’d by the wonderful @stupidsatsuma
Masterlist  |  AO3
---
Despite Hardy’s playful jabs, Ellie had built free-time into the schedule for them to do as they pleased.  Given that the trip had been intended as a honeymoon she had expected to spend that time in bed, but with Hardy as her travel companion instead, they decided to lounge by the hotel pool, relaxing and playing in the water, earning themselves plenty of disapproving glares from the other guests.
After showering and changing they headed out for the day, strolling past the Louvre again to the Place de la Concorde, where the Champs-Elysee began.  The most famous street in Paris, they quickly located a café charming enough for Ellie’s standards and had pastries for lunch.
Once fed they continued on down the boulevard towards l’Arc de Triumphe, Ellie oohing and aahing at all the expensive shops they passed.
“Can you imagine having the money to spend along here?” she wanted to know, when he all but forcefully dragged her away from a Louboutin shop.  “To just shop to your heart’s content, money no issue.  As much as I love my job, I can’t deny I wouldn’t mind a better salary.”
“We’re not in it for the money,” Hardy rolled his eyes, palm pressed firmly between her shoulder blades in an attempt to keep her walking straight without getting sidetracked.  “Besides, this is all just… stuff.  It’s not inherently better than more reasonably-priced items, people just think it is ‘cause it’s got a ‘name’.  Who cares?”
Ellie peered up at him, smirking slightly.  “So you have no interest in that Paul Smith store?”
His head automatically turned in the direction she gestured, before his back stiffened and he glared down at her.  “Not funny.”
“There actually was one, next block over from the Tuileries.”
“Shut up, Miller,” he fell back on an old standby, before pointing at a store front.  “Don’t you have something from ‘Lou-is Vut-ton’ already?”
“Oooh!”
-
Once they reached Place Charles de Gaulle, they stopped to stare at the roundabout, with easily a hundred cars flying around and off onto one of the dozen streets that spread out from there.
“How the hell are we supposed to get over there?” Hardy wanted to know, staring incredulously at the throngs of people inside the roped-off section of the circle, where the Arch itself sat.  “Teleport?  Walk through traffic?  Call Mary fucking Poppins?”
Ellie shrugged, before a sign caught her eye and jogged her memory.  “There’s a tunnel!”
“A tunnel?”
“Yes, a tunnel,” she repeated, already heading in that direction.  “Keep up.  It takes us under the roadway.”
He was muttering behind her but she paid him little attention, starting down the steps amid a throng of other sightseers.  Barely three minutes later they came up just in front of the Arch, and having enough presence of mind to step out of the way, she stopped dead to gape.
“I can’t believe I’m here,” she whispered, yelping when someone brushed her elbow.
“It’s just me,” Hardy grumped.  “Right, so what’s so special about this?”
She studied his face for a moment, before judging him to be more troublemaker than ignoramus.  “Shut up.  We’re going up to the top.”
“Why?”  He trailed behind obediently anyway, as they joined the ticket queue.  “What’s up there?”
“‘What’s up there?’” she mocked.  “A gorgeous view of the city, feel the wind in your hair… honestly, you’ve been such a grump since we left the hotel.  It’s Paris, just try to enjoy it and not be… you for a while, yeah?”
“Fine.”  Hardy made a face and she made one right back, distracted out of her irritation by the small giggles of the children in line behind them.  Smiling awkwardly at them she turned to face forward, glad to not be looking at Hardy when she overheard the conversation behind them.
“Mummy?” the little girl attempted to whisper, “Why were they arguing like that?  Aren’t they happy to be here?”
The mother answered her daughter quietly, though clearly not quietly enough – “They weren’t arguing, they were bickering, like how Daddy and I do.”
“What does that mean?”
“That even people in love sometimes get annoyed with each other, but even when they say mean things, they still love each other, and they both know it, even if they don’t like each other in that moment.”
“Like when Daddy leaves the toilet seat up?  Or Jason steals my Barbies?”
“Exactly.”
Ellie’s spine stiffened, listening, and she fought very hard not to peek at Hardy’s face to see if he’d heard.
In love?  Us?  Not bloody likely.
-
They took their time going back up the Champs-Elysee on the opposite side, Ellie doing her best not to look at or speak to Hardy any more than necessary, ideally without his noticing.
“The hell is wrong with you?” he finally asked, when they passed the third bakery in a row that Ellie gave no attention.  “Was it that garbage you had for lunch?  I said you’d regret it.”
Ellie scowled.  “I am in France,” she said sternly, “so I am eating French food.  Why is that such a difficult concept?”
“Then what’s the problem?”
He mustn’t have heard them talking behind us, she realized; she’d been too focused on avoiding him to notice he was no different.  Thank God.
“I’m just thinking about dinner,” she lied, grimacing as she remembered the reservations they had.
“D’you have somewhere in mind?”
“Actually…  I have reservations.  Ones already paid for, unfortunately.”
“Where?”
Ellie gave him her best sweet smile, hoping in vain to butter him up.  “Restaurant 58.”
He stopped dead, crossing his arms and arching an eyebrow.  “I’m not playing twenty fucking questions.  Just tell me.”
“All right.”  She tilted her head, walking again, waiting for him to catch up to say, “It’s on the first level of la Tour Eiffel.  A guaranteed view of the Trocadero, the park that’s on the other side of the river that you always see in pictures of Paris.”
“Sounds romantic,” Hardy said cautiously, looking genuinely concerned.  “You sure?”
“Already paid for,” she repeated.  “And the weather’s supposed to be beautiful, thank God.  It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Please?”
He sighed, reluctantly unfolding his arms, before nodding.  “‘Course. Your trip.”
“Brilliant!”
-
Once back at the room they started getting ready for an early-for-Paris seating, Ellie taking the shower first so Hardy could be in there while she fussed with her hair and makeup.
She was just struggling with her zipper when Hardy knocked on the door, and she called him in.  “Perfect timing!  Zip me up?” she asked, turning her back on him as he entered the room and sweeping her hair out of the way.
“Erm, sure.”  He came up behind her, and she was hyper aware of him as nimble fingers pinched the dress together and pulled the zip up.
“There’s a button, too,” she mentioned, and he did that as well, before easing her long, loose tresses from her grip and fluffing them along her back, before smoothing his palms over her shoulders.
Ellie’s breath hitched, his touch stirring up surprising emotions.  It was light, barely touching her, but she felt it like an electric shock, crackling through her.
“You look beautiful,” he murmured, stepping away.
“Thanks.  The dress is new.”  Unsure of what to do with her hands she smoothed the skirt of the dress down.  She’d bought it for the trip, a sexy little dress expected to make Joe’s knees weak.  Navy blue and lace, the off-the-shoulder wide bands kept her neck and shoulders bare, perfect for a summer evening out.  She felt beautiful and elegant, and utterly alone.  Much as she’d tried to not dwell on it, and having succeeded most of the day, preparing for an admittedly romantic dinner had made her long for her almost-husband.  The betrayal still stung, burned really, a dark mass in her gut that made her blood burn just to think of it, but forty-eight hours previous she’d been preparing to spend her life with the man.
That didn’t fade overnight, much as she prayed it would.  She’d wasted three years of her life with Joe, hoping and planning for a future that had evaporated in a puff of smoke.  She was angry, humiliated, a righteous indignation stiffening her spine.  Yet the way Hardy looked at her, treated her as if nothing special or unusual had happened, helped.  She didn’t want to be coddled, like her sister would’ve tried to do, or patronized and made to feel guilty and at fault, like her parents had berated her.
She wanted to be uni-Ellie again, challenged and equaled.  Hardy would pull no punches, wouldn’t sugar-coat anything.  He would just let her be in the moment.
“Ready?” he asked, shifting awkwardly and breaking her from her spell.
“Yes.”  As they headed headed for the lift, she admired his navy suit, amused to find he’d coordinated himself with her dress.
“You look nice.”
“Thanks.”  He offered her his arm, guiding her to the lobby as she ordered a car on her phone.
The Uber driver took the scenic path, which cut in front of the Louvre and passed the glass pyramid, making her smile at the famous sight.  Crossing that bridge to the other bank they rode along the river, taking in the happy couples and families strolling along the path.  Everything seemed so bright, and peaceful, and everything she’d hoped it would be.
“I have to let you off here,” their driver said abruptly.  “Security reasons. Is this okay?”
“Fine, thanks,” Ellie smiled brightly, waiting until Hardy had slid out to follow him.  They weren’t far, could easily see the tower, and she didn’t mind a little extra walk.  Her heels were comfortable, and she was in Paris – c’est la vie.
Once on the sidewalk he offered her his arm again, and she had to admit as they walked that it improved the experience.  “It’s nice, approaching on foot.  Gives you more a sense of the magnitude.”
“It is pretty impressive, I suppose,” he agreed.  “You know it was built as the entrance to the 1889 World’s Fair?”
“Really?”
“Everyone hated it.  Was only permitted for twenty years, but by then it had become a landmark.”
“Hard to imagine Paris without it.”
“Right?”
Ellie had pre-printed tickets, so they were able to go to a special line that took them right up to the restaurant.  The ride up the lift through the leg of the Tower was a thrill, and she was grinning widely by the time they stepped off.  “This is gorgeous!”
The walls were all glass to improve the view, curving with the shape of the Tower.  She’d paid for a guaranteed view of the Trocadero, and they only had to wait a few minutes to be seated.  The restaurant was minimally decorated, subtle in design so as to not take away from the specialness of the location and views.
“This is nice,” Hardy admitted as they settled in their seats, taking in the view before looking at the menu.
“Right?  It won’t get dark until we’re done, but once we are we can go outside – dinner included the price of the ticket for the Tower itself.”
“Great.”
They studied the menu, sitting in a calm silence until after their orders had been placed and their wine poured.
“Hang on,” Hardy blurted, as she brought wine glass to her lips.
“What?”
He held his own out towards her.  “To… to finding the silver lining.  Or the open window.  Or whatever trite motivational fortune-cookie saying you prefer.”
“Well said.”
“Shut up.  Point being…”  Hardy hesitated a moment, glancing around the restaurant and out the window before settling his eyes on her, sincerity shining there.  “I’m very glad I ran into you, and I’m happy to be here with you now.  I hope you can say the same.”
A small smile bloomed on her face.  “I can,” she said honestly. “Better to find out before the wedding rather than after, I suppose.  And it is good to see you again.”
They clinked wine glasses, drinking to the strangest toast she’d ever heard.
And yet somehow it still felt right.
-
After a meal where the food was as enjoyable as the company, and an awe-inspiring sunset, they exited the restaurant onto the first level to join the throngs of other tourists trying to take in the city by moonlight.
Ellie’s good mood soured slightly; she’d had the naïve but romantic hope that somehow, she and Joe would be alone on the Tower after dinner, like something out of a movie.  I should have expected this.
“El.”  Hardy tugged her by the elbow, and she turned to him, frowning.
“What?”
But he had disappeared into the crowd, and sighing, she eased her way past the groups, mostly couples, in the direction he’d gone.  Finally she found him at the steps up to the next level, waiting impatiently.
They went up together, Ellie clutching tightly to the handrail just to be safe, unused to climbing steps in heels.  After the first dozen Hardy came onto her step, resting his hand on her back to offer support.
When they reached the second level, she looked up at him and said dryly, “We are so taking the lift down,” before noticing the view and promptly forgetting her complaint.  “Oh, look at this.”
It was far less crowded on the second level, and they were able to find a relatively private spot.  Ellie leaned against the railing, almost pressing her face to the protective lattice-work keeping anyone from falling.  “It’s so beautiful.”
“Yeah.”  Hardy’s voice was heavy with emotion, the same way it had been the previous morning watching the sunrise, and she was afraid to look at him for a moment.
“Thank you.  Thank you for coming with me.  If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know if I would’ve gotten on the train,” she confessed, staring determinedly at a boat making its way along the river.  “I probably would’ve just checked into a hotel and slept the week away, or something, and missed out on the beauty and wonder.  God, to think I’d have given up the trip of a lifetime to Paris for a bloke.”
Hardy leaned against the railing beside her, sighing.  “I had no idea where I was going to go.  I’d even been considering going up to Glasgow and visiting family.”  He shivered dramatically in disgust, making her laugh softly.  “So, thank you for the invite.  I hadn’t known how much I missed you until I saw you again.”
Touched, she turned to face him at last, giving him a watery smile.  “I missed you too.”  Rising up on her toes she leaned in, aiming for his cheek.  Later, when she would spend half the night lying awake replaying this moment, she wouldn’t be able to tell if he moved because of bad luck or if he’d misunderstood, but Hardy’s face turned to her at the last possible second, and instead of the innocent kiss to the cheek she had intended, her lips landed squarely on his.
Oh my God, she thought, freezing in surprise at the admittedly delightful feel of his mouth against hers.  Then he leaned forward slightly, into the kiss, and the only thing running through her mind was what the fuck?
Jerking her head back her jaw dropped, as she stared up at him, watching his eyes widen and his throat work as he swallowed.
What was that?!
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tokyotwosome · 5 years
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England: ”This Earth of Majesty”
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7/26/19 - ENGLAND. The mother to the modern world’s business tongue. A country within the United Kingdom within Great Britain and none of us can make any sense of what the heck the difference is. This wondrous place is an island I’d always dreamed of visiting from the first time I picked up The Chronicles of Narnia. Or Pride and Prejudice. Or Harry Potter. The list goes on. From its rich history, its captivating architecture, and the many famous humans that have walked these streets, England is not a country to be missed.
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We arrived in London on a Friday evening. The summer in the U.K. is much like Seattle; the sun is fickle and the rain needy. Seeing the countless parks throughout the city, not to mention the luscious greenery throughout the countryside, it’s no wonder it rains so much here. On Saturday morning, we met up with a friend to do a proper tour of the city. For the day, we purchased a “London Pass” which gets you into over 75 attractions as well as access to the Hop on Hop Off bus. We swiftly made our way to the top of the double decker, not caring that the open-roof was a bit damp and paying notice to the “mind your head” signs up the stairs. As we embarked through the city, a man with a microphone prompted us to grab headphones and listen to his countless facts about London. 
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Did you know that there are actually two Londons? Greater London refers to the American definition of “London”. This is where the Queen hails and is generally what we think of when referring to London. There is also “The City of London”, a square mile within Greater London that can be easily identified by its dragon statues which guard its borders. The City of London is separately governed, collects separate taxes, enforces separate laws, has their own separate flag, and even elects their own Lord Mayor. Queen Elizabeth isn’t even allowed to enter the City of London without permission from the Lord Mayor. It’s all very scratch-head worthy. 
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There’s a laundry list of sites to see in London. There’s Big Ben (currently under construction), Westminster Abbey (filled with famous and infamous corpses), Buckingham Palace, the Tower of London, Tower Bridge (much cooler than London Bridge), the Churchill War Rooms, Shakespeare’s Globe, and loads more. One would need to devote an entire week to site seeing just to manage it all in. Needless to say, we didn’t get to see everything, but we managed to get some good ones under our belt. 
Our first stop was at the Tower of London, just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Tower Bridge on the north bank of the River Thames (pronounced “Tems”). The Tower of London is less of a tower and more of a series of towers that feel more like medieval grounds from something out of a storybook. Within each tower holds its own treasures and stories. There was original armor, crown jewels, the bloody tower (where two princes were believed to have been killed by their uncle so that he could have the crown for himself), prison cells (where names and images have been carved into walls)...and so much more. You could spend all day at this site alone, but we hurried on off to lunch after building up an appetite..must have been all the murder stories that did it. Speaking of murder - walking across the Tower Bridge, we found the street where many Jack the Ripper scenes were filmed. They even offer evening tours of all his murder spots (a big no thank you from me). 
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The food in England is a journey in and of itself. If you ask for pie, don’t expect something sweet. A traditional English-style breakfast consists of toast (seemingly the most important food group), beans, mushrooms and/or tomatoes, an over-easy egg, a hash brown, bacon (which is actually more ham-like), and sausage (tastes more like fake meat to me). We can’t tell you how many times we ate the same English-style breakfast, but it really was quite hearty. Brunch will sometimes include all-you-can-drink. And let’s not forget Sunday roast! Tea was also a staple for most, if not all, of our breakfasts - I like mine with two sugars and milk. In terms of stereotype foods, we didn’t see a crumpet in sight.
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While London is a must-see when in England, it’s certainly not the highlight of the country. We rented a car and made our way north, with our final destination being Scotland. We’d arranged to have overnight stays in aribnb’s along the way, taking recommendations from our very own Rick Steves. The street signs were comical, seeing ones like “mind the gap” and “queues likely”. Getting used to the different terminology is a journey of its own. First stop was Stow-on-the-Wold; a quaint little market town with sandy-colored buildings, friendly town folk, and shops around every corner. We still aren’t sure what a Stow or a Wold is, but while we passed through, it was clear why it was a place outsiders wanted to visit. After spending a few days in the city, it was refreshing to be in a small town. We managed to only go down the wrong side of the street towards oncoming traffic once, so that’s a bonus! 
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Shortly following our pit-stop to Stow-on-the-Wold, we found our airbnb in a place known as Derbyshire, arriving promptly at 3:00 PM. A woman answered the door and greeted us by saying, “you’re positively punctual”. She sounded like Mary Poppins and I could’ve swore she was about to break out in song next and a bird would likely land delicately on her finger. That was when I really realized we weren’t in Kansas anymore. She took us upstairs to our room in her large, historical cottage. The backyard view reminded me of something out of a Jane Austen novel. I could imagine Mr. Darcy coming to our door by horseback. We had dinner at a local gastropub, just up the street. The server told us about a place to visit the following day, which we promptly agreed we’d do. 
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The next morning on our way out of town, we stopped by the recommendation from our server; a nature walk toward an abandoned water mill. During our walk, Rob stopped and asked that I take a picture of him in the grass. At the time, I had no idea why. Turns out he was envisioning a scenic view out of Gladiator and just HAD to reenact it. Making our way down a long drive, we saw a flock of pheasants that we thought were chickens. When we finally did make it to the water mill, we took in the beautiful views and imagined what sorts of things must have taken place throughout history here; a common thought through such a historical place. When we thought there wasn’t a living soul in site, a couple of women on horseback road passed. Such a slow, easy going lifestyle here. 
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Our next destination was what is known as the lake district; more specifically, a town called Keswick (pronounced Ke-sick). Keswick was by far our favorite stopping point. It had a German feel with British flavor. Lots of nature, lots of shops, and lots of kind people. This is a popular spot to visit in the summertime for Brits throughout the country. While rain was to be expected, we lucked out for the day we spent there and enjoyed a pleasant nature hike. 
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The day following our trip to Keswick, the weather took a turn for the worse. We were so fortunate to have such a beautiful day for our one day spent there. After our time in the lake district, our next stop was Scotland. Truly, Scotland is deserving of its own blog, so stay tuned for that next! Instead, I’m going to fast forward to when we trained back to London. 
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We’ve gone full circle and made it back to the city. Our train arrived at Kings Cross Station - so naturally we visited platform 9 3/4. After taking our obligatory Harry Potter photo, we decided to try to squeeze in any last minute sightseeing we may have missed. That’s how we ended up at the Churchill War Rooms. The underground tour is the original housing spot for Churchill and his men during WWII. They have kept the rooms in mostly the same condition with a full audio tour to really envision what it must have been like during the war. Trying to imagine being trapped down there while bombs continued to go off upstairs was a very humbling experience. For me, having been to the war museums in both Pearl Harbor and Okinawa, seeing the war through the British lens was a new perspective. On one of the original maps in the discussion room, you could even see a drawing of Hitler someone had done. A really remarkable site and I would highly recommend to anyone who visits London. Speaking of sights in London, did you know that all museums are free in the UK? That led us to the Natural History Museum! Among other things. 
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On 8/3/19, our 5-year wedding anniversary, we decided to treat ourselves to high tea. We had reservations at a delightful little spot in the city. The theme was Peter Rabbit and ohhhh was it good! We had mini-sandwiches, biscuits, jams, and treats to the max. Everything you see was edible, including the flower pots. I don’t think I stopped smiling once. When we had finished, we were stuffed beyond belief. Then the server comes over with a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY dessert. We couldn’t NOT eat it...so we stuffed our little bunny bellies. Another successful wedding anniversary outside of the states - once an accident, now a tradition. <3
If you’re considering a trip to the UK, I’d say go Nike and just do it! Some of our expectations were met and others were shattered, but that’s the joy of travelling. A place is never how you think it’s going to be, but seeking the different is what is exciting. Stay tuned for the next blog where we’ll share our adventures in Scotland - my new crush. Thanks for sticking it out and reading along!  
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It’s that time again.
Hey guys, I have two weeks this month where I won’t really be able to access this account because of “out of town important summer stuff” and also I’m going to take a couple days off for my b-day.
So in order to help me keep the queue full, submit something please!!! A terrible photoshop, a haiku, some beautiful stickfigure drawings, literally anything related to jacksfilms.
Luckily I’ll be gone 1 week, back another, and then gone for my second week, instead of the two absent weeks being in a row.
Any who, thank you guys for helping me keep this blog fresh and poppin’. I can’t wait to see what you guys come up with.
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altobrandy31-blog · 5 years
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There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than That Absurdly Historic Klay Game
Welcome to Good Stuff, HuffPost’s weekly recommendation series devoted to the least bad things on and off the internet.
Monday night, I found myself in the very top row of the United Center in Chicago, where I bore witness to an absurd bit of history, and what is quite possibly the most entertaining version of basketball ever invented: A Klay Game.
The game itself wasn’t that good, by normal standards. By the end of the first quarter, the Golden State Warriors had run up a 20-point lead on the hapless and injured Chicago Bulls. By halftime, the Dubs had 92 points and were winning by 40. It was pointless. Except for Klay.
Except for Klay. Thompson, that is, the Warriors’ gunner of two-guard who, up to that point in the season, had been trash. Thompson entered the evening having made just five of his first 36 three-point attempts of the season ― a 14 percent clip that was nearly 30 points below his career average from distance. But on Monday, he reverted to his old, dumb self, which unlike Stephen Curry and Kevin Durant ― his superstar teammates whose dominant nights always feel like reminders that they have absolutely broken basketball ― tends to feel more normal. Klay is the old dude at the gym who uses screens the right way, finds himself in the corner, and pummels you with an endless barrage of buckets ... if that old dude was also 6′6″ and one of the greatest shooters of all time.
He hit his first three less than 90 seconds into the game. By the end of the first quarter, he’d made five more. At halftime, he had 10, and at one point, he had made nine out of 11 threes. He finished the game with 14, setting a single-game NBA record in just 27 minutes on the floor. He had 52 points.
The amazing thing about it, though, wasn’t that he broke the record, but how. A Klay Game is a special phenomenon: on the occasions where Klay isn’t just hot but reaches thermonuclear status, the Warriors’ other superstars cease to even consider themselves a part of the game, and instead funnel the ball to him with a relentless, single-minded focus. So each time a Bulls shot clanked off the rim and landed in the hands of a Golden State player, they looked for Klay. In the corner. At the top of the key. Barely across half-court. It didn’t matter. Curry and Durant were passing up open shots to find him. Draymond Green, on one possession, set five screens in an effort to free Thompson from his defenders. They still got theirs, but the night was Klay’s, and they knew it.
So did the crowd. By the start of the second half, no one was paying attention to the score, or the Bulls. Not even their fans. Each time Klay touched the ball, the crowd urged him to shoot. Each time he did, the air burped with the anticipation that he was about to hit another one. And more often than not, it went in. The Warriors are dumb, and even though its cool in some circles to hate them now, I can’t. Not when they play basketball like this. And not when they can decide, on any given night, to let Klay be Klay, and remind us that there are still endless wonders in an NBA season, even when its ultimate outcome already feels certain. ― Travis Waldron
Kurt Russell As Cool Santa
I don’t really know how to explain the new trailer for “The Christmas Chronicles.” There’s Kurt Russell as cool Santa Claus throwing concerts in prison and bemoaning images on cola cans for making his butt look big. There are very CGI elves who don’t totally look like gremlins, but I wouldn’t want to feed them after midnight. The Netflix movie’s premise seems to revolve ― maybe? ― around the potential death of Christmas, which won’t be saved unless some kids travel around the world with Chris Pratt’s evil dad, who seems more worried about breaking out “Star Wars” references and dunking presents down chimneys. Hmm.
It feels like a Christmas miracle this is happening at all, so I for one will be counting down the days until it arrives in my queue. ― Bill Bradley
WHY IS LIZZO PERFECT?
A Very Good Paperback
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Simon & Schuster
I know. I know! This book came out in February. But I missed it then, and this week I finally circled back to the book I’d heard glowing things about for months. If you haven’t read Halliday’s masterfully engineered debut yet, you should do the same thing.
The novel opens on the blossoming romance between Alice, a young editor at a publishing house in New York, and Ezra Blazer, an elderly acclaimed novelist who bears an unmistakeable resemblance to Philip Roth. Also an aspiring writer, Alice soaks up Ezra’s attention and guidance, as he showers her with blackout cookies, rolls of cash to spend at upscale department stores, and sacks of edifying books to read. Rather than fully flipping a narrative so often told from the older male perspective on its head, Halliday relates it from a remove that hovers between clinical and whimsical, as if their relationship is a case file put into the language of a fairy tale.
Then, just as Alice realizes she must choose between her own future as a writer or a real partnership with the ailing Ezra, Halliday throws us into another story. Amar Jaafari, an Iraqi-American economist, has been detained in Heathrow en route to see his brother in Kurdistan. In between dealing with the crushing bureaucracy ― repeated interrogations that cycle through the same questions, vague and inexplicable explanations for his detention ― he reflects on his life, the two countries that have been home to his family, and the violence that has surrounded his brother and other loved ones.
The novel ends with an eerily convincing transcript of a “Desert Island Discs” interview in which Ezra, some ten years on from the start of his relationship with Alice, recommends his all-time favorite songs, reminisces, and flirts with the interviewer.
A dazzling puzzle box of a book, Asymmetry melds ambition and restraint in its exploration of power, artistic imagination, empathy, geopolitics, and love. It’s recently out in paperback, so there’s absolutely no reason not to read it immediately. ― Claire Fallon
A Night of Short Horror Films (By Mostly Women!)
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Nitehawk
"Cat Calls" (directed by Kate Dolan)
Every year, Nitehawk Cinema in Brooklyn hosts a short film festival. And every year, Caryn Coleman, director of programming and special projects at the theater, co-curates a midnight showing dedicated to mini horror flicks, the kinds that only require eight to 19 minutes to rattle your already fragile existence and catapult your adrenaline levels in glorious micro waves of fear.
This year’s showing will take place on Thursday, Nov. 8 at 9:30 p.m. And its lineup is like a pleasant middle finger to Jason Blum, a man blithely unaware of the many female directors working in horror today.
“When I read the Jason Blum article I had watched two brand new horror films directed by women in the previous 24 hours,” Coleman told HuffPost. “Genre films by women is nothing new to me or to the many people clued into what’s happening in horror. Therefore, what he said is a prime example of how out of touch certain parts of the film industry establishment are; they are completely unaware of a reality that is right in front of their face simply because they don’t care enough to look.”
Coleman and her co-programmer Sam Zimmerman have paid particular attention to women’s voices at her festival over the years. “This year we’re thrilled that our program not only features 70 percent female directors,” she said, “but that nearly all address the real horror of what it’s like to be a woman in the world.”
Three films to watch at the Shorts Festival’s “Midnite” screening this year are “Rape Card,” “Pumpkin Movie” (“I saw it the night of the Blasey-Ford testimony and it was utterly prescient, couldn’t get it out of my head,” Coleman said), and “Cat Calls.” Tickets are on sale here. ― Katherine Brooks
Rosé In October
Nestled halfway into Quavo’s new album, “Quavo Huncho,” is a track that dares to bring rosé out of the summer slums and into the autumn breeze. Understanding the pink-tinted bubbly should be a year-round affair, “Champagne Rosé” had the rapper “poppin’ bottles” in — gasp! — October. More significantly, he did so with the help of two incredible collaborators. One of them (Cardi B) comes as no surprise; the other (Madonna) is a left-field swerve that proves to be one of the record’s highlights.
Dominating the song with a high-pitched autotune, Madonna’s is the first voice we hear. She stretches “champagne” to three syllables and turns wine into sex the way only she can (“Please drink me up”). Her presence is the yin to Quavo’s full-throated yang, perfectly accentuated by a flute that graces the intoxicating beat. And then, before the four-minute bop ends, Madonna nails a verse that again lets her bend and elongate words with a crisp, clarion cadence: “Let me entertain you / Get inside your vein, too / Intoxicate your brain, ooh / Crazy, what I’ll make you.” It’s a frothy morsel, likely to remain an under-appreciated footnote in all three artists’ repertoires. But listen to it and try not to hit the repeat button a dozen times. You can’t do it. ― Matthew Jacobs
Witch Hunting
Halloween may be over, but witches rule all year long. If you haven’t yet checked out two spooooky witchy reboots ― The CW’s “Charmed” and Netflix’s “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” ― the time is now. Both series take beloved ’90s shows and turn them into something darker, more complex and more overtly feminist. Neither show is perfect, but they both have done something interesting and timely ― and, dare we say ... magical? Plus, with all the talk of “witch hunting” powerful white men, it’s about damn time we saw some real witchy women get their due. ― Emma Gray
Martha Rosler Forever
In the 1975 video “Semiotics of the Kitchen,” one of multidisciplinary artist Martha Rosler’s most famed works, Rosler stands at a makeshift kitchen station in front of a refrigerator and stove. It looks like a cross between a Rachael Ray cooking demo and a Francesca Woodman photograph.
“Apron,” she says, as she pulls one over her head. “Bowl,” displaying a bowl to the world while pantomiming stirring. “Chopper,” plunging it into the bowl violently. “Egg beater ... fork ... grater,” she continues, rubbing the fork up and down the grater, emitting a jarring racket. She continues down the alphabet, naming different kitchen appliances and simulating their use for the viewer like an alien mimicking domestic rituals. When she picks up the nutcracker, Rosler glares at the viewer while spreading and shutting the tool’s legs with vigor. The video, critiquing the oppressive, domestic roles women are often forced to embody, becomes a jagged dance to the tune of a grating metallic symphony.
This is Rosler’s most well-known piece, but far from the only one worth knowing. A retrospective at the Jewish Museum spans Rosler’s five-decade career. Featuring installations, photographic series, sculpture, and video, the exhibit probes far beyond “Semiotics of the Kitchen” to show us one of the most witty and dogged feminist artists of our time. In one photo collage, blond women snap selfies in a mod mansion as flames blaze outside the windows. In an installation, various women’s lingerie and sleepwear congregate around a white mattress. The cluster of thongs and spanx and granny panties alludes to the stories clothes tell about the women who wear them. Or perhaps just the stories we buy into.
The show opens on Friday, Nov. 2 and is up until March. All feminists, Jews and bad chefs are encouraged to attend. ― Priscilla Frank
The Drawing of Lines
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We’re all blessed to have lived long enough to discover that the Gateway Pundit apparently does have a line, and that line’s name is Jacob Wohl. ― Ashley Feinberg
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Source: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/there-were-zero-things-better-this-week-than-that-absurdly-historic-klay-game_us_5bdccf96e4b09d43e31efd6c
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disneymadfamily · 5 years
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Hi all and welcome to my latest post. I thought I’d write about Epcot today to share some information that we have discovered over the years and hopefully help people out if they’re unsure on what there is to do at this amazing park. I will admit that over the years I probably didn’t appreciate Epcot as much as I should have. I always felt like it wasn’t as much fun as the other parks and Florida weather is always so hot that walking round World Showcase took a lot of effort. However for the last few years I have come to appreciate everything about Epcot and I love to wander round all the World Showcase pavilions, sampling the food from the 11 countries and then sitting down to watch Illuminations: Reflections of Earth after a long day.
About Epcot
Epcot stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. The original vision that Walt Disney had for Epcot was for it to be a futuristic city in Florida. This vision was never developed and instead, in 1982, Epcot opened as the second Disney theme park to be built in Orlando, after Magic Kingdom. Epcot is actually much larger then Magic Kingdom, spanning across 300 acres. The park’s ‘icon’ is Spaceship Earth, a giant structure at the front of the park, housing a ride of the same name.
Epcot is split into two main areas; Future World and World Showcase. World Showcase is where the 11 country pavilions are located and Future World has areas dedicated to technical and scientific advances through the years.
World Showcase
The 11 countries currently located around World Showcase Lagoon in Epcot are Mexico, Norway, China, Germany, Italy, United States of America, Japan, Morocco, France, United Kingdom and Canada. There is space available for another 9 countries and there have been rumours that Brazil will be the next country pavilion to be created. In each country pavilion you will find shops, restaurants and buildings that are commonly found in their respective countries. Often the staff working in the country pavilions are also from that country, which I feel gives them an extra magic touch. There are also rides in some of the countries, including the extremely popular Frozen Ever After ride in Norway.
I don’t have a favourite pavilion, they’re all beautiful and unique so it would be too difficult to choose. However, I do love the Mexican village and marketplace inside the pyramid at Mexico’s pavilion, the stunning traditional Morrocan market in Morocco pavilion and the amazing waterfall in the Canada pavilion. The United Kingdom pavilion has an English village setting and is so beautiful but this pavilion doesn’t actually have a lot to see, so I do hope they add to this one soon. There have been rumours of a Mary Poppins ride being added to the UK pavilion at some point, but this has not yet been confirmed so could be years away.
World Showcase has such a lot to see, so make sure you give yourselves enough time to explore every nook and cranny. I’d recommend you spend at least a day on World Showcase. We have visited Walt Disney World 11 times already and still discover something new at World Showcase because we never used to spend a lot of time at Epcot, but on our most recent holiday we stayed at Disney’s Beach Club Resort, which is just a short walk from Epcot so we got to spend a lot of time there throughout our 2 week holiday.
Future World
Future World has several areas to explore and enjoy. There are some fantastic rides in the Future World areas and some great shops to buy all the cute Disney merchandise that you might have had your eye on for a while.
Spaceship Earth is located in Future World. You can’t miss this attraction as it is the park icon. This ride moves along a series of displays showing how humans have communicated through the years and how our communication technology has advanced. It’s a 15 minute ride and is perfect for when you want to cool off and rest your feet.
Test Track is our favourite ride at Epcot. The queues do get really long so make sure you get a Fastpass+! Everyone gets to design their own car and save it to your Magic Band or park ticket, which then gets uploaded to the system as you board your car and as the car goes around the track each car gets marked on several features. The final feature is a speed test and the car goes as fast as 60mph or more. As you leave the ride you enter an interactive area for everyone to enjoy extra attractions such as creating an advert for your car, which you can also save to your Magic Band.
Mission Space is another simulator ride, where you get to experience what it’s like to be an astronaut and you get to travel into space. It’s not one of my favourites; I always feel quite sick when I come off it. You can choose from the Orange mission experience or the Green mission experience. The Green experience is less likely to cause motion sickness, so choose this one if you’re not sure which one to go for.
The Seas with Nemo & Friends takes you on an underwater trip where you get to view the massive aquarium, which you can also view when you get off the ride. There is also an interactive animated show starring Crush from Finding Nemo, where you can ask Crush questions.
Innoventions used to have lots of exhibitions to enjoy, but the majority have now closed and so far Disney have not announced what the plan is for this area. This area does have a character spot, where you can meet Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Goofy. As you can imagine, the queues get long for this character meet so grab a Fastpass+ if you can.
The Land pavilion has two attractions which are also really popular rides. Soarin’ Around the World is a simulator that takes you on a tour of different regions around the world. Queues for this ride are notoriously long and Fastpass+ tickets get snapped up so quickly!
Living with the Land is the other attraction at The Land pavilion and we absolutely love this one. It’s a slow moving boat ride that takes you through various greenhouses where you will learn about future innovations of agriculture. This isn’t a very popular ride and some people feel it is due an update, but it’s another nice family ride where you can just sit and cool off.
Imagination is home to the Journey into Imagination with Figment. This is a dark ride so some children might find it a bit scary, but it is a lot of fun. There is another interactive area after this ride called ImageWorks: The What-If Lab, which is popular with children so if you want your whole family to make the most of the day at Epcot, then definitely spend some time in the lab.
Dining at Epcot
There are so many choices of food and drink at Epcot. Each country pavilion has various dining options and because the food in each pavilion is based on the food from it’s respective country, there is so much variety. You can have fish and chips in the UK, pizza in Italy or fajitas in Mexico.
The table service restaurants in Epcot are
Akershus Royal Banquet Hall – Norway
Biergarten Restaurant – Germany
Chefs de France – France
Coral Reef Restaurant – Future World
Garden Grill Restaurant – America
La Cava del Tequila – Mexico
La Hacienda de San Angel – Mexico
Le Cellier Steakhouse – Canada
Monsieur Paul – France
Nine Dragons Restaurant – China
Restaurant Marrakesh – Morocco
Rose & Crown Dining Room – United Kingdom
San Angel Inn Restaurante – Mexico
Spice Road Table – Morocco
Teppan Edo – Japan
Tokyo Dinning – Japan
Tutto Gusto Wine Cellar – Italy
Tutto Italia Ristorante – Italy
Via Napoli Ristorante e Pizzeria – Italy
As you can see there are loads of Table Service restaurants at Epcot and as well as these you can also choose from all the quick service counters too, so you have plenty of choice and will certainly not go hungry at Epcot. If you would like to eat at any of the Table Service restaurant, you really should try and get a Dining Reservation in advance. The reservations do get booked up quickly and the stand by lines tend to get quite long.
Festivals
Epcot hosts many festivals throughout the year, which always pull in huge crowds and add to the incredible atmosphere at the park. The festivals held at Epcot are
Festival of the Arts – January to February
Epcot’s International Flower & Garden Festival – March to May
Food & Wine Festival – September to November
Epcot’s International Festival of the Holidays – November to December
We have been to Walt Disney World at various times of the year, so have been lucky enough to visit Epcot during the Flower & Garden Festival and the Food & Wine Festival. The Flower & Garden Festival is beautiful, with stunning topiaries, themed gardens and wildlife habitats all around the park. There are also outdoor kitchens and a scavenger hunt around World Showcase. The Food & Wine Festival is our favourite, because we love food. Located all around World Showcase are booths serving food and drinks specifically created for the festival.
Epcot Resort Area
There are many Disney resorts located around Epcot and some are within walking distance of the park. Disney’s Yacht and Beach Club, Disney’s Boardwalk and non-Disney Swan and Dolphin Hotel are all visible from International Gateway, which is another entrance to Epcot away from the main gates and is located between the France and United Kingdom pavilions. There are more dining and shopping options in these areas. You can even hop on the Friendship Boat over to either of the resorts or to Hollywood Studios, although the boats aren’t currently travelling to Hollywood Studios while extensive works are going on at the park.
Epcot is such a wonderful park and has a lot of fun and exciting experiences to offer. I highly recommend you take your time around each area of the park, to fully appreciate everything there is to enjoy and you don’t miss anything at all.
Have you visited Epcot yet? Which attraction is your favourite? I would love to hear your Epcot stories.
An Essential Guide to Epcot Hi all and welcome to my latest post. I thought I'd write about Epcot today to share some information that we have discovered over the years and hopefully help people out if they're unsure on what there is to do at this amazing park. 
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TOP 18 – TRAVEL TIPS FOR A FAMILY HOLIDAY You’ve spent months, or maybe a year, planning this trip, you want to make sure you have everything you need well in advance, no one, and we do mean no one, enjoys rushing around like a headless chicken trying to pick up the last minute holiday essentials.  We have made up a list of our holiday essentials and provided a few tips to make sure your holiday is memorable for all the right reasons.  You don’t want to be up a creek without a paddle, or wandering across the desert…lost…and no hat (yes, we know, a hat would be the least of your worries should you find yourself lost in a desert).  Our holiday tips and essentials relate to car, plane and ferry travel, and it may not be the same as your holiday essentials, but…there may be a ‘Eureka, why didn’t I think of that’ moment somewhere in this list.
1.  PASSPORT TO FREEDOM What gives you the World and asks for nothing in return…a passport.  Yes it may be a little dog eared from constant use, and it may only cost a few quid(ish) to buy one, but believe us when we say your passport is your best friend when travelling, because it is, but…it’s also a complete liability, and heaven forbid you should lose it, the incalculable hassle it causes doesn’t bear thinking about.  We have covered Passport Carrying Tips in more detail in another post, but in brief, before travelling to foreign lands, make sure your passport is in date, and if it isn’t, get one ordered.  You need to allow around 3-4 weeks for a passport application to be processed, even longer if you haven’t filled in the application properly.  When abroad try to keep your passport on your person, and in some countries, if you’re stopped by authorities and you don’t have the original on your person, you can be detained, fined and even deported.  Keep it with you, but keep it safe at all times.
2.  DON’T LEAVE ACCOMMODATION TO CHANCE The flight was delayed, the kids have been shouting at each other in the hire car for the last two hours and you pull into a hotel car park in the hope of getting a room….sorry, we’re fully booked!  Looks like sleeping in the car is the only option!  Seriously, don’t leave the accommodation to chance when travelling with little ‘uns.  Book in advance, and if possible, book separate (but adjoining) rooms in hotels, it will cost more but is worth the extra money.  Consider this, you’ve booked one room and the children are in bed at 8pm, are you going to go to bed the same time, or sit in complete silence…no, I didn’t think so.  Having separate rooms means the children can rest undisturbed, and you can watch TV, read a book or enjoy each others company.  Try to keep the children in a similar routine as back home, but keep in mind time differences and excitement, after all, the kids are in holiday mode.
tip: if you do book separate rooms with a linked door, check the rooms over, make sure sockets are safe, check windows are locked and that any balcony doors are secure and cannot be opened by the children.
3.  MAKE A LIST (OR TWO, OR THREE) Lists for this and lists for that, Lynne’s lists drive me crackers!  Lynne cannot go a single day without writing a list, and in all honesty, if she spent as much time doing the things on the list instead of writing the list, she’d have them done in no time at all.  There is one exception to the ‘I hate lists’ rule, and that’s the HOLIDAY LIST, well, two lists in fact – the THINGS WE HAVE LIST and the THINGS WE NEED LIST, both equally important and vital in prepping for your hard earned holiday, oh wait, we also have a third list, the WALKING OUT THE DOOR list, items like mobile phone, chargers, toothbrushes, passports, wallets, money etc.  Writing an idiot-proof list(s) is Lynne’s key to a stress free holiday.  For some, shopping for a holiday is a much-hated chore, for others, shopping for a holiday is like being a child winning a Golden Ticket Tour of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.  One thing’s for sure, it has to be done, so do it properly and you (hopefully) won’t go wrong!
tip: Lynne says to make sure you write a list for each person who is going on the holiday!  Sometimes it’s best to buy items from the country you are visiting, especially heavy items like lotions and potions, also, try to limit the amount of liquids, perfumes and toiletries you take, if you do need to take liquids, make sure you put them in a ziplock/sealed bag just in case they leak.  Liquids are heavy and can use a huge part of your baggage allowance, which leads me on to…
4.  BAGGAGE SIZE RESTRICTIONS AND WEIGHT LIMITS Ok, so you’ve purchased the very latest designer hand-luggage just because Victoria Beckham has it, only to arrive at the airport and find it won’t fit in the ‘check my bag size; frame, and whilst you push and shove to try and make it fit, if you look behind you, there’s a queue of irate passengers forming an orderly queue (Brits are very good at queues).  And if you’re wondering why Victoria Beckham gets away with it, she doesn’t fly budget airlines.
As well as size, weight is just as important.  If your airline says 21kg allowance then they mean 21kg.  The last thing you want when you’re checking in, is to find out that your suitcase is too heavy for the hold and then have to start emptying your case in front of the other passengers, you know, the ones who were stood behind you when your hand-luggage had a fight with the sizing frame.  If your bag is heavier than the Airline allowance, you have two choices; pay a hefty oversize fee or remove items from your suitcase, but…imagine the shame and horror as you open that neatly packed case and your lime green budgie smugglers fall out.  The last thing you want is to leave behind that family heirloom shawl that your great-great granny crocheted back in 1902, and you certainly don’t want to board the flight looking like an onion with 10 layers on.  Do your homework and check the airline restrictions/allowances before you travel.
tip: purchase a decent pair of travel luggage scales, we use the Mofred Travel Luggage Scales (ours cost £4.89 from Amazon UK and they weigh up to 40kg) and weigh your bags at home, that way you can add or remove items in the comfort of your own home, plus you have wine in the fridge…don’t you?  Take the scales with you on holiday, and then you can weigh your bags again before going to the airport, just in case you have overloaded with holiday souvenirs.
5.  BAGS, BAGS AND MORE BAGS There was once a rule in our house when going on holiday, one main bag per person and one ‘take on’ bag per person, but muggings here ALWAYS ended up carrying ALL the bags, so now it’s two large main bags between us all and a small ‘take-on’ backpack each for the girls, they normally pack a travel board game (in case of delays), a few toys, colouring books, crayons, a tablet and a few snacks, things to keep them amused during the flight, ferry or car journey, we also have car DVD players for long road journeys.  I don’t normally bother with a ‘take on’ and Lynne uses her Tardis (handbag) as her ‘take on’.  She is like Mary Poppins at times, her bag just seems to hold everything and then some!  When we pack our main bags, we always use Pro Packing Cubes, they are so versatile and they come in different colours so we can easily identify our own belongings quickly.  The cubes seem to fit effortlessly and maximise the use of space in our large Karabar bags.  It’s great to arrive at our destination and now exactly where everything is.  The cubes are lightweight so don’t add too much weight to your bags.  We love them. and we never holiday without them.
tip: main bags: we use 2 x Karabar Super Lightweight Wheeled Holdalls, and inside we use Pro Packing Cubes, a great combination.
6.  PROHIBITED ITEMS This one might seem glaringly obvious, but step inside the airport terminal and there are lots of perspex/glass containers with no end of knives, weapons, scissors etc in them, items travellers think they can take on board.  Allow me to tell you a story.  Back in 2012, somewhere in our house, we lost a very expensive steak knife, the set looked lost without it, so I handed one of the remaining knives to Lynne and asked her to pick me up another the next time she happened to be in Belfast.  Time rolled by and the knife was forgotten about, that is, until Lynne had to attend a conference in London.  Handbag and briefcase in hand, off to Belfast International Airport she goes.  Checked in, Lynne heads off to the departures security, places her bag on the scanner conveyor and then walks through the detector, all good so far…but…the woman operating the scanner seems to be spending a long time on Lynne’s bag.  After about 2-3 minutes, the bag is taken to one side and Lynne is asked to attend the inspection desk.  The woman confirms the bag belongs to Lynne and that she packed it herself, and then she pulls out the steak knife!!! Horror!!!  Security are called and Lynne has a lot of explaining to do.  Thankfully Security accept Lynne’s story, and her apology, and let her on her way, but not before being placed under caution.  But wait, it doesn’t end there…
7.  PROHIBITED ITEMS…LYNNE AGAIN …a year or so later, we took Lily-Belle to Disneyland Paris for her 5th birthday, and also to break the news that Mummy and Daddy were having a baby.  Just as we were leaving Disneyland Paris, Lily-Belle asked if she could pick up a souvenir from the Disney Gift Shop, not a problem.  Little Miss chose a very small plastic toy gun which was no bigger than 7-8cm in length.  We were in a bit of a rush (as always), we are never early, always just on time or late, but never early, so, at Beauvais Airport, Lynne throws the plastic toy gun into her handbag…big mistake!!!  We placed shoes, bags, belts etc into trays and sent them down the scanner conveyor before we made our way through the metal detector one-by-one, all good so far.  The lady in charge of the scanner kept looking up at Lynne and then back to the scanner, she then summoned a colleague and again, a look at the scanner, then a look at Lynne.  We had no clue why, and when I say we, I mean Lynne.  Before Lynne put the plastic toy gun into her bag, I warned her she was asking for trouble, I also told her the shape of the tiny toy gun, even though it was plastic, would get picked up by the scanner, would she listen…oh no!  All of a sudden two heavily armed Policiers arrived and began a discussion with the scanner woman.  Lynne was taken to one side and the Policiers were as miserable as sin, they read Lynne the riot act and despite our protests the gun was a toy and entirely plastic, they insisted it could be used as a gun!  Plastic toy gun confiscated, the Policiers took Lynne away and took a photo of her and her passport and cautioned her that she was going to be added to the French Anti-Terrorism Register.  Lynne was aghast!  I was in hysterics laughing!  Lily-Belle was in floods of tears!
8.  TATTOO THE KIDS, DON’T BRAND THEM If you’re travelling through a busy airport, the last thing you need is for one of the sprogs to disappear, what a holiday-breaker that would be, right?  If you’re like us, you’re constantly on ‘child watch’ when travelling through airports, ferry ports, shopping centres etc, basically every waking minute of every day regardless of whether or not you are on, or going on, a holiday…child watch.  Now, we’re not asking you to brand your child with a red hot poker, or take them to a tattoo parlour and have a permanent inking done, definitely not, but what you can do is use a Tyvek paper wristband (the type used at event and concerts) and write your child’s name, date of birth, any allergies and the names and phone numbers of Mummy and Daddy, pop it on their wrist and that way if they do go AWOL, it should be straight forward getting them reunited with you.  Make sure your mobile is fully charged.
9.  TECH, GADGETS AND GIZMOS When travelling abroad, we also use a smart gps child locator, a simple device that we attach to the children’s clothing, and should the unthinkable happen, with the use of a smartphone, we can see exactly where our weary wanderer is and we can also activate an audible alarm on the device.  We don’t recommend bluetooth locators as these have a very limited range.  We always take a laptop and a tablet with 3G + WiFi capability (handy if you’re out and about).  You want to capture memories when on holiday so take a camera, we take a Nikon D3200 DSLR for good stuff, a couple of Vtech Kiddizooms for the girls as this encourages them to engage in their surroundings, ok, so you might get 200 photos of knees and pavement, but you will be surprised at some of the great photos children take.  We also have our latest smart phones (iphone and samsung) which are waterproof, although we have yet to try out this function…too scared!  We never go on holiday, whether UK, Ireland or abroad, without a carbon monoxide detector and spare batteries, this device could well be your life saver.
tip: don’t forget to take spare batteries, chargers and plug adapters
10.  GET ONLINE STORAGE FOR PHOTOS You are having the time of your life on holiday, captured lots of great memories on that snazzy new camera, but in the blink of an eye, the memory card is full, and you only have one with you, what do you do?  We have spent many a night deleting as many of the ‘not so important’ photos as we can, and still haven’t had enough memory to finish the holiday.  It’s not the end of the world.  Now we take 4 x 64gb Sandisk cards for the DSLR, and we also take a memory card reader for transfer to the laptop at the end of each evening.  There are loads and loads of online companies for uploading and storing pictures, we use SmugMug and Dropbox, very simple interface, easy to use and share files, what more could you, want, need or ask for.
11.  FIRST AID KIT AND MEDICINE Accidents happen, and if you have children, you already know these accidents can be anything from an easily treated grazed knee to a full on medical emergency.  We’re not saying you will be able to remove that Lego brick from your little Angel’s nose, but try to be as prepared as you can be with a basic first aid kit.  As a First Aider (St John trained) I am pretty adept at dealing with most accidents so I always carry a travel first aid kit in the car, or when going on holiday.  Basic things like plasters, bandages, gauze, scissors, a thermometer, antihistamine for stings/bites, children’s paracetamol (Calpol), sterilising wipes, hand sanitiser, disposable tissues.
tip: always take medicines such as inhalers, calpol and allergy medicines in your take-on bag.
12.  SMART CLOBBER It’s the middle of December and your Australian holiday was a blast, but it’s time to return home to the UK.  You may look Uber-cool in your shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops standing at the holiday airport when it is 37oC outside, but you soon realise you’ve made a fashion faux pas when the kids are screaming how cold they are before the plane has even left the runway, plus, you land in the UK and it’s the middle of Winter with sleet and rain hitting you horizontally.  Dress accordingly for the destination, or keep a set of clothes handy to change into.
13.  ALWAYS DOUBLE UP Before we leave the house, we always take up-to-date photos of ourselves and our travel documents such as passports, insurance, EHIC, booking information (for hotels, ferries, trains, flights etc), boarding passes etc.  We then email them to ourselves (so we can access them abroad if need be) and we email them to Nana and Granda (aka Lynne’s Mum and Dad).  You just never know.  And if you’re thinking it’s a bit weird taking photos of yourself and emailing them to yourself…it’s ok, we do too, but if we get kidnapped or get lost in the desert (without a hat), at least we can be identified.
14.  EHIC ISN’T A SCRABBLE WORD A European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) allows you to receive state healthcare in other EEA countries and in Switzerland at a reduced cost or sometimes for free.  An EHIC does not replace your travel insurance, which you should always have when travelling.  Unless you want a hefty hospital bill to remove that piece of Lego from your little Angel’s nose, we suggest you make it a priority to get both before you travel, and if you already have both in place, make sure they are in date.
tip: some sites will try to charge you a fee for an EHIC.  If you apply for your EHIC direct from the Government website, it’s free.  www.gov.uk/european-health-insurance-card – I was extremely grateful for my EHIC during our recent family holiday to Spiaggia e Mare Holiday Park when I became a running-buffet for mosquitoes. tip tip:  ALWAYS purchase your travel insurance the same day you book your holiday, if you don’t and something happens in between booking and your departure date, you won’t be covered.
15.  MONEY DOSH WONGA MOOLA You’ve put in extra hours at work and cut back on the takeaways and nights out, you now have a tidy sum stashed away, so make sure you make the most of it by getting the best currency exchange and avoiding hidden bank charges.  Do your research and shop around, we normally use Uncle Google to search for the best rates.  Sometimes rates go up, sometimes rates go down, but the minute you book your holiday, start checking the rates regularly, it may pay dividends to get your currency earlier rather than later.  When we go away we take a certain amount of currency, and we each (adults) take a debit card, a credit card and also a preloaded credit card which we hold with FairFX.  The credit cards are there in case of an absolute emergency.  Lily-Belle and Matilda always get holiday spending money from Nana and Granda, and also from Mummy and Daddy, so we give them a daily allowance and we also load up a goHenry card for Lily-Belle.  Be careful using cards abroad, if you do pay for something with your card, let’s say a restaurant bill, never let the card out of your site, and always check you have been given your own card back after paying, don’t fall for the ol’ card switcheroo.
tip: don’t forget to notify your bank of your travel dates and countries you will be travelling to.
16.  KEEP EVERYONE HAPPY Whenever we are away with the children, first and foremost, the holiday is for them, it’s about making the holiday as memorable as it can be so that they look back in years to come and think, I’d like to do that with my own family.  But no matter how many activities you plan, it’s inevitable that there will be tears and tantrums during your holiday, and if you don’t get the tears and tantrums, what medication are you giving your children?  This year (2017) in Italy, some days Matilda refused point blank to eat her dinner until she had eaten either an ice-cream, or a lolly.  At home that would be a big no-no, but on holiday, rules are relaxed a little, and if it stops a 3 year old throwing a wobbler in the middle of a restaurant, then I’m happy to let her do the desert-dinner reversal.  A holiday is about give and take, it’s about compromise, it’s about spending time together as a family.
tip: give the children options, include them in the plans and some days let them decide what they want to do.  You may have booked a day out at the local ploughing championships, but is it really something the children want to do?
17.  JOT IT DOWN Get the children a journal.  Encourage them to draw pictures, write lists of the things they see or the new things they taste.  They could also ask their ‘holiday friends’ to write a small message inside the journal.  Most hotels hand out free mini-maps of places you can visit nearby, these maps are great for the children, it’s always better to give a child something visual that they can see/do rather than trying to explain it, you could get extras for the children to stick cuttings into their journals.  If you are encountering different languages on your travels, put in lists of new words learned, it’s amazing how quickly children pick up languages.  We bought Lily-Belle and Matilda a personalised diary/journal from Little Box Gifts, from order to delivery a mere 72 hours, excellent.
18.  LASTLY…DON’T DO A MACAULAY CULKIN The car is packed and you’re all ready to go on your holiday adventure.  You’ve already driven 20 miles, but wait, it’s so quiet in the back of the car, the children must be asleep right…wrong!  Didn’t you do a head count before you left?  You’re already running late and now you have to go back and gather your Posse.  Are you sure you’re going to make that flight or ferry?  Conundrum…should you just leave the kids alone to fend for themselves, go off and enjoy quality time alone with your other half?  Admit it, you did give it proper and careful consideration before you decided it’s not worth the paperwork when you get back home, because the Police, and probably Social Services, will be waiting for you.  In all seriousness, do a head count, don’t ask the kids to get in the car and buckle up themselves, stand at the car door and count them as they climb in.  Better safe than sorry, and don’t worry, you and your other half will have a holiday on your own very soon (hahaha, not a chance is that going to happen when you have children).
These tips and essentials may or may not work for you, but they work for us.  Travelling with children can be daunting, but it can also be great fun, the key is to be well prepared and keep everyone involved.  If you are rushing, as we (always) often are, things will more than likely go wrong, on the other hand, if you prep well, take your time and enjoy the route and the experience, chances are, everything will go swimmingly, but always remember the most important thing….
ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY!
******LAPLAND REVIEW & PICTURES******
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All views, opinions and experiences are that of The Callaghan Posse and are correct at time of publication. Photos taken by Andrew Callaghan and selected from Google for use and distribution by Around The World In 18 Years 
TOP 18 – TRAVEL TIPS FOR A FAMILY HOLIDAY TOP 18 - TRAVEL TIPS FOR A FAMILY HOLIDAY You've spent months, or maybe a year, planning this trip, you want to make sure you have everything you need well in advance, no one, and we do mean no one, enjoys rushing around like a headless chicken trying to pick up the last minute holiday essentials.  
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