Tumgik
#so it’s all warm now
Tumblr media
12K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 9 months
Text
you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
3K notes · View notes
kitamars · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
so it was valentines day yesterday huh
3K notes · View notes
tsuchinokoroyale · 4 months
Text
Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#I didn’t end up going to the rave just stayed in with my buddies and had KFC (( Korean fried chicken )) and laughed til we cried so#it was still a wonderful start to the new year 💞🥰💞#but the fwb wanted pics of my potential rave look so I figured eh I brought the stuff anyways#and now I’m imagining locking eyes with a stranger on the warm and writhing dance floor#the beat thumps and shakes and rattles the air in our breath as the spotlights dance in the reflections of our held gaze#he pushes his way through the crowd with a singular stare and a wicked smile on his face#I smile and turn my back on him arching myself so he knows I am giving what he’s looking for#I take careful steps through the revelry toward the edge where the crowd thins out#I prop myself up on an available stool in a lonely corner of the club as he closes the distance between us#“now I wonder why you dragged me all the way here” he utters in a playful growl “trying to get far away from the crowd?”#I smile and I nod. “obviously. can’t really do what I want with you out there”#his eyes perk up and his smile gives away the desire building inside him. “yeah? why don’t you show me then.”#“I thought you’d never ask” I smirk. I reach down into my pants and pull out my phone#“so this one is blue. he’s the oldest but he’s sooooo sweet. and that’s Eva. my only girl she’s sassy but she loves swea-” he leaves#whaddahell I say demurely whimpering even… whaddahell…#gpoy
526 notes · View notes
rassebers · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pull yourself TOGETHER man
3K notes · View notes
dustykneed · 6 days
Note
hey dusty I'm here to push my Spock purring agenda on you. thoughts?
of course <33 he's the og catboy. now for a transporter malfunction so they all purr:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i like to think jim is DEEP in that cat brain (not because the transporter malfunctioned any differently for him as opposed to bones. but because he is just Like That honestly). bones is the sort of... almost humanly intelligent flavor of cat. except he retains his 24/7 anxiety and jumps three feet every time someone sneezes too suddenly. and jim knocks shit off spock's counter all the fucking time so bones just eats shit all the fucking time lmfao
205 notes · View notes
definitely-jax · 26 days
Text
Tumblr media
232 notes · View notes
krasytoonz · 1 month
Note
ITS TIMMMEEEEEEEEEEE
*starts a blizzard and snows on your WH au’s (mostly gangster (joke au. Don’t take it seriously)*
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Wally D got snowballed
230 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
watched Grease the other night with my buddy and. well. obviously i Had To
657 notes · View notes
dragoncarrion · 29 days
Text
Tumblr media
(ocs. she/her for both) me and the beastie lol
170 notes · View notes
svetochey · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
the experimental one-layer-but-not-really Caleb is done! it's been a challenge, and i don't want to polish it to perfection, but it feels like i've learned something with this!
184 notes · View notes
plutos134340 · 3 months
Text
After 6.75 hours of this i finally finished
Tumblr media
I really like the mask thats my favorite part of this
228 notes · View notes
cerise-on-top · 2 months
Note
Can I please request Ghost with a s/o who is very comforting and protective over HIM?!? Like I love seeing Cod characters protecting and being the readers shoulder to cry on, even if they know you can handle yourself, but I wanna comfort my boy ♥️♥️♥️
Hey! Of coure you can! I really enjoyed this request, thank you very much! I'm just very soft for Simon, but I think that much has become obvious by now, haha!
Ghost with a Comforting and Protective Reader
More so than anything, he’d be surprised. He’s 1,95m tall, muscular and brooding. And yet here you are putting his face in your hands, calling him the most handsome man you’ve ever met. It’s not unwelcome, just not something he ever thought he’d have in his life. He expected to be the big, scary protector of his partner for the rest of his life, but having someone want to take care of him like that? Don’t get me wrong, it feels nice, but it also feels somewhat weird to him. He should be the big scary guard dog. While he may not be good with feelings, either his or those of others, he could always lend a listening ear. And yet you kiss his scars, reassure him that you will always stay by his side, no matter what and will tuck him into bed even. At first he doesn’t trust any of this, thinking you to be too nice to him, but eventually he’ll realize that there are no ulterior motives, that you are just like that towards him. And after some time, he’ll start melting into you, growing to trust you more and more each day. Simon would become a bit softer with you, would walk through fire just so he can see you smile. But you reassure him that no such thing is necessary. He may not ever be sure when it would be appropriate for you, but he’d come to crave your touch more and more as time goes on, even going as far as trapping you in the most tender hug he can muster. Sometimes he fantasizes about laying his head in your lap with you playing with his hair a bit, but he wouldn’t admit to such out loud since he still has his pride. You being protective over him would also be weird to him. He can handle himself just fine, so why are you getting mad at the cashier for the pickle in his burger? Why are you arguing with the drunkard wanting to start a fight with him? He won’t know what to do, no one’s ever protected him from anything ever since he was a little child. It would warm his heart a bit and make him appreciate you even more. Sure, he can do just fine on his own, but he’d be lying if he said his heart wouldn’t skip a beat whenever you’re being protective over him. If he could, he’d just pick you up bridal style and carry you home, but you’re in public so he’ll only think about how much he wants to be your little spoon this entire time. He’ll let his guard down around you and show you that he, too, can be a softer guy underneath his rough exterior with in the most domestic ways out there. He’ll think about marrying you immediately once he’s aware that he’s essentially become a softer man thanks to you. But he’ll wait still until he’s sure you’re on board as well.
151 notes · View notes
cupophrogs · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Little scribble comparing mine and @drewmwalker’s Dogdays that came to me in an espresso-fueled warm-up session!
(I adore your art btw, it’s so cool)
268 notes · View notes
tiny-chubby-bird · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I love the shy and gentle expressions the most.
201 notes · View notes
noinobonoto · 10 months
Text
I think the saddest part about Wei Wuxian's abuse by Madam Yu isn't the whipping or the kneeling or the belittlement... but the way she treated his parents.
Wei Wuxian's parents are dead. He is an orphan. He also lived under the same roof as the man who knew and was friends with his parents, especially his father who used to be his servant.
And yet he knows almost nothing about them, he knows as much as a bystander about who Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze were. The only things he has is a foggy memory or two and other people's gossip. All because of Madam Yu.
He can't mention them, he can't talk about them at all or ask about them because he will get punished, because Madam Yu hates their (mainly his mother's) mere existence and makes it everyone's problem. And it's so funny too, that she is always the one mentioning them in the first place, always to insult them. Wei Wuxian grew up in a place where his parents were badmouthed all the time, where he couldn't mention them or learn anything about them from Jiang Fengmian because Madam Yu made it impossible.
It's just so sad.
503 notes · View notes