#so ive basically scrolled through enough vent posts that i purposfully looked at to make myself sad

[woahthatshella]

ah

#yeah ill be a little less comfortable #quinn talks shit #so ive basically scrolled through enough vent posts that i purposfully looked at to make myself sad #and really i wish so bad that my support system was as good as it was in highschool #i... think that it wont get that great again tbh and well im so scared #at least in high school i was the thing wrong it was my emotions and now i have to do shit i can do to get a mild reward #like shit mann i dont even draw anymore #i SWORE up and down for years that id have nothing if i didnt draw and guess what i lost it i cant get myself to draw its so painful to #see myself lose passion in everything i swore kept me alive #i am a fucking husk man #in highschool my friends and i had that place to shit in now that schools gone now we dont see each other and when we do its always in #a way that someone has to go #maybe this is me realising that recess and lunch with my friends was one place where i didnt have to moniter who i was #i guess #i dont feel that im ever gonna be that free again #maybe its just my support going kapoof i mean its still there but like less than half then what it was and its more effort than ever #now its like hiking 2hrs just to take a nap ya know it dont rlly seem worth it #again i think it all circles back to i really wanna feel good again #i dont really think its fair that the last time i was in a good mood for than a couple of hours was 2018 #and im crumbling bro #im becoming less and less every day and i dont think ill ever get any back