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#so just don't try to find the places where it's fucked up
acapelladitty · 2 days
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Strike A Bargain, Light A Match
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Pairing: The Ghoul/Female Reader
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Summary: Stuck in the desert and desperate for water, you find yourself captured by a ghoul who makes you an offer that you simply cannot refuse. (2.8k words)
(tw for: blowjobs, mildly dubious consent, cum marking, ropes/restraints, dirty talk, mild force, throat fucking)
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As with most things in life, if something seemed too good to be true then it always was.
A canister, clear and blue and brimming with water, would always stand out against the desert background like a sore thumb and you knew that something wasn’t right. But, needs must, and the thirst which clawed at your senses made you stupid.
Christ, your fingers had barely brushed the lid of the canister when you were attacked.
You hadn't seen the rope arching towards you but you had felt the effect as it looped around your legs, quick as a bullet, and pulled them out from under you - slamming your body to the ground as a thick plume of dirt kicked up around your stunned frame to block out the darkening sky.
Voice hoarse due to the lack of moisture in your body, the sound that you made was almost like that of an animal, keening and rough, as you writhed on the ground. Hands flying to the rope which is encasing your legs, your fingers freeze in place as the unmistakable click of a gun echoes in your ear.
"Don't be touching that rope, darlin'. You trying to steal from me just got you a one-way ticket to a shakedown."
Accented words, smooth and deliberate, force you to look up and you wince in place at the horrific sight which blocked out the sky above as your would-be captor loomed over you.
Reddened skin, pocked and marked by radiation, with a gaping hole where the nose should have been gazed back down at you - marred features twisted into vague amusement as the skilled hunter took in your shocked expression.
A ghoul.
"Let me go." You croak out, throat feeling red and raw - a natural feeling given that it had now been over twelve hours since you'd had any water. "Let me up!" You cry, kicking out at the dirt.
"Not going to happen." The ghoul answers back without pause, his body shifting around so that he was standing tactfully to the side of your kicking legs. "Not even if you ask nicely, which you didn't."
"I didn't know it belonged to anyone." You try to say but the words burn and die out as a vicious cough wracks your upper body. The last week had been rough. A run in with raiders had robbed you of your latest haul and that included the meagre amounts of water that you had been able to gather in this vast, dusted part of the wasteland.
Watching you cough with a blank expression, the ghouls fingers disappear into his ratty coat as he pulls free a small, metallic flask from one of the inner pockets.
"Ain't listening to that shit."
Dropping to his haunches, his free hand grips your chin roughly, calloused fingers giving you no room to move as he carefully tilts the mouth of the flask between your lips. Fear spiralling in your chest as your breath comes in shallow pants, you purse your lips tight as you attempt to avoid whatever the hell he was trying to slip you. It's for nothing though as he forces you mouth open enough to allow some liquid to slip through.
Water.
Unable to help yourself, you gasp in shock, and instinct overtakes sense as you greedily sip down the few thankful gulps that you can. It soothes in an instant. The warm, slightly stale water may as well be liquid gold as it coats your throat, banishing away the drought which had lay before it.
Eyes watering as you choke a little on the liquid, the hand on your chin elevates your mouth enough to ensure that everything goes where it should before the flask is pulled away with a clinical precision.
"There." The ghoul grunts, his brow narrowed into a mild scowl as he observes you with a passive look. "Want to try that again, croaky."
"Didn't-didn't know it was yours. The water." You explain, meeting his eyes with your own. "I only needed a little bit. Haven't had any in-"
You cut yourself off, anxiety making you want to ramble but knowing that such a thing was stupid as hell when outside the safety of a group. Or even when around someone you didn’t have full trust in.
He takes your words for what they are as he stands to his full height once more.
"You're a pretty little thing to be out here all alone. This part of the desert isn't meant for pretty little things.” He grunts, hands on his hips. “There’s people out here that’ll do things to you that’d make your skin crawl right off if you knew.”
And he was right.
The sun beat down harshly during the day, making any menial task seem twice as difficult as scavenging became a race against overheating as much as it did the dangers which lurked around every corner. The nights were not much better as roving gangs sought to take everything they could from anything they found, living or dead.
The lucky ones would be killed and the unlucky would face the same fate.
Eventually.
Speaking of luck, the fact that your captor hadn't immediately caved your skull with a rock or used that gun to decorate the dust with your blood was something to be exploited.
"I'm sorry.” You offer up, palms flat in a show of non-aggression. “Let me up and we can talk about a trade for some of that water."
In a lawless land, bartering was king, and you prided yourself on your ability to talk yourself into getting what you needed. Raiders. Ghouls. Lunatics. Everyone wanted something, and your mental inventory of your stash flashed through your mind as your eyes trailed across your captor, seeking out some possible options which he may be interested in.
Covered mostly by dark leather, a bullet holster sits across his chest, looping over his shoulder and visibly containing several bullets which were no doubt comfortable in that gun of his. His leather coat is worn and frayed, the edges looking rough as hell and caked in dust and grime. What visible skin lay open to the slowly darkening sun was as red and mottled as the rest, the flesh of a ghoul impossible to hide or shy away from.
The eyes though.
His eyes appeared to be a hazel colour, the whites of his irises seeming even more stark due to the red skin surrounding them, but what caught your attention was how expressive they were. Sunken in their sockets, the darkness which encased them did little to hide their revelations. Even now, as he stared you down with an intensity equal to your own, you could see the appraisal of curiosity and interest which lurked behind the vague, mean-spirited amusement he fixed you with.
Taking a seat on the water canister, his gun remaining in hand as it casually hung from his fingers, he allowed you to pull the rope from your legs and right yourself until you were standing once more. His other hand remained on the opposite end of the rope, ready to lash out like a viper at a moment’s provocation.
"Water's rare round these parts.” The ghoul grumbled. “I don't want to be wasting it on needless shit. So why don't we see if we can come to some arrangement?"
The golden words.
Smirking at the potential of a deal, the fear which tickles at your chest disappears in a brief moment as you rock onto your heels and place your hands on your hips.
"I don't have anything with me today. I'll need to go and gath-"
"You've got them pretty lips." He countered, cutting off your words and widening his knees as he patted his thigh with the butt of his gun. "I'm sure you can think of something to do with them."
Shocked by the utter brazenness, your mouth drops open and you splutter out something incomprehensible as a low chuckle slips free of his twisted lips.
"Don't look so shocked. Oldest barternin' tool in the business. Ten minutes of work and you might live to see another day. Five minutes if you're a pro.” He grunts again. “Fuck, it's been so long, it might even be two. Take the chance, darling?"
"I'm not a whore." A harsh denial as heat spread across your cheeks.
You had seen them before, both the unwilling and the willing, as they walked alongside raiders and heroes alike in an effort to use their skills to ensure survival. Everyone did what they had to do and it wasn’t like you hadn’t used charm before to get what you wanted.
But still.
This was different.
In a way-
"Didn't say you were." The ghoul shrugs, interrupting your mental debate. "But a deal’s a deal. Ain't got no infection that I know of and it's the best offer you'll get out here. Closest raiders to here are the McSharkies and they’ll have you fucking their dogs for a single droplet.”
Shuddering at the thought, your lips move of their own accord.
"Okay."
Surprising yourself even as you say the word, a trickle of shame weaves itself down your spine.
You had done a hell of a lot worse for a hell of a lot less in this shithole of a world.
What was a quick blowjob in the scheme of things.
Visibly pleased at your agreement, he palms his cock through his slacks for a moment before jumping to his feet in a smooth motion which catches you off-guard.
"Turn and get those hands out behind your back."
"Why?"
"Got to tie your hands, little lady. You might be sweet, but a pretty snake is still rattlin’ full of venom. You understand me?"
Unable to argue as a sense that you might as well play his game since you had no other choice plucks at your thoughts, you nod your consent and slowly shuffle around.
Turning in place, he loops the ends of the rope around your wrists in quick movements, quietly ensuring his own safety as he pins your hands behind your back and spins you around to face him once more.
"Kneel." He commands, clicking his fingers and pointing to the ground as he commands you like a dog.
You drop to your knees before him and the harsh desert feels uncomfortable against your skin through the fabric of your jumpsuit. Even in the rapidly cooling air of the approaching evening, not a soul to be made out as far as the eye could see, heat danced along your skin as a dirty shame made your shiver and roll your shoulders.
You had seen his kind before, knew what to expect, but even prior knowledge couldn't prepare you for just how thick he was as he snatched his cock free of his slacks - the pinstripe design fluttering in the breeze as he unlatched the waistband. His cock jutted from his slacks with pride, its girth making you bite at your lower lip as you wonder how the hell you're going to fit that in your mouth.
As livid in colour as the rest of him, his cockhead was slightly darker as it flared from the end of his length, and there was a prominent vein which ran along the underside of the shaft.
Despite yourself, your mouth watered at the prospect of tasting it.
Unable to wrap either of your hands around his cock, you dip your head forward to catch the tip of his cockhead within your lips. Immediately you feel the heat of him, his textured skin feeling odd against your tongue as a slightly acrid taste floods your mouth. He's heavy and thick, even just the tip of his cock making your mouth feel full and you carefully breathe around him as your tongue presses against his shaft.
“It’s been a long time, sweetie. That or you're a born cocksucker.”
A heavy hand pressing on the back of your head draws a sharp gasp from your lips as he pushes you down further on his cock. Forced into accepting more of him, you hollow your cheeks and allow him to guide himself roughly within your mouth, every part of his mottled skin adding a new sensation to your lips as they roll across his length.
Sucking him gently, something traitorous and arousing sparks in your cunt as he unleashes a low grunt at the stimulation.
At the vicious arousal in his tone, you feel a fresh flood of lust slither across your skin even as you groan out an unspoken denial of his words around his cock. However, you attempt to free yourself of him in a moment of surprise as his fingers drop low enough to cup around your temple, essentially keeping you in place as his other hand tightens almost painfully around your hair.
He's building pace, allowing enough time for you to catch your breath as you focus on the task - your own hands remaining pinned behind your back as you bob your head messily.
"Yeah. Fuck your mouth on my cock, little miss." He grunts, hand like a vice around your head as he casually thrusts himself into your mouth with only a little mercy. "Show me how much you want it."
Keeping your eyes staunchly closed, shame and humiliation creep along your heated skin but with it comes an undeniable arousal which makes your cunt feel wet against your panties.
"None of that. Eyes open now."
Displeased with the lack of eye-contact, his cock pulls free of your mouth long enough for his hand to strike across your cheek. Not in an overly aggressive or painful manner, but enough to force your eyes open as you glare up at him.
"Ooh, feisty little mare. I like it. Makes me hard as a nail."
To emphasise his words, he drives his cock a little further back, the tip now just threatening your throat as you choke in surprise - eyes watering in an instant as you fight the urge to bite down. You watch him as he chuckles, enjoying the way your throat is spasming around you cock as he holds you there.
He lets up after a moment, resuming his more forceful pace. Wanting him to finish, you pull back enough to swirl your tongue along the sensitive ridge where his shaft meets his cockhead before swallowing him down in one quick motion.
It's enough, and the sharp, pleasurable pants which slip free of his mouth seem to increase slightly in pitch as he pulls his cock free of your mouth. Without warning, his release splashes across your mouth and chin; a few errant drops falling between your lips as he jerks his cock off to wring every last droplet out.
Pissed by the mess despite the slight ache which sits in your cunt as it feels woefully neglected, you growl at him - a scowl marring your forehead as your jaw clicks, the bone there pleased to no longer be under such stress. Left in the dirt with your hands bound and you face coated in mess, a fresh sense of heated embarrassment floods your cheeks and you cough in discomfort as he tucks his softening cock away.
You inhale sharply as you find your body being pulled away from his as his strong hands remove you from your kneeling position and place you back on your feet.
"Made a mess of you there, darling." The ghoul smirks, teeth flashing against his reddened skin. "Make sure and clean yourself up before anyone else sees you. They might get the wrong idea."
Rubbing your hands together as he releases then from their bindings, you immediately wipe off his release with the back of your hand and ignore the taste of him as the droplets in your mouth coat your tongue.
"My water?" You ask, dusting your knees off as you mentally make a note to treat your clit to some attention the minute you were back in the safety of your hideout. Attention that no doubt would feature hazel eyes and some very irritated movements as you took your frustrations out on your traitorous sex.
"Sure. Deal's a deal, little miss. Name's Cooper, by the way." He, Cooper, grunted as he slowly filled one of the spare empty bottles which littered the ground around the canister. "You can call me Cooper."
Huh.
Watching silently as he continued to live up to his end of the bargain, you tasted his name against your lips as eagerly as his cum you consider what he might give to hear you cry it out with some well-earned enthusiasm.
"Cooper."
His eyes meet you own and you can tell, in that moment, that he's imagining the very same.
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makelemonade · 2 days
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smut scenarios with genshin men
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ayato, neuvillete, pantalone, diluc, wriothesly, childe, dottore (?), capitano, pierro- his maid/assistant
he loved how cute you were; How you always pulled your skirt up and showed off your thighs; How you always had your hair done, as if you had someone to impress.
You had him to impress, actually. He watches you bend down with a sharp eye, feeling himself harden just at the show of extra skin and excuses himself as he goes to the privacy of his office, jerking off as he imagines you bending over his lap as he spanks the revealed skin that just sends him haywire.
He starts requesting you stay late while the other workers go home, and he hopes you don't see through his facade but you oh so clearly can and you of course accept the request.
One night, you can hear him groan from the stress of his constant work and you knock at the door, waiting for his tired voice to speak.
"Come in,"
You walk in, and slight surprise overtakes him but there's a happy spark in his eyes. "Y/N, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I just thought you could use some help with your work," You spoke slyly and innocently as you walked up to his desk/
He looked at you confused, "What do you- oh,"
He lets out a groan when your fingers started to firmly yet softly dig into his back, hitting all the right spots as he completely relaxes.
He wants to say this is unprofessional- you're his boss! But was jerking off to you and fantasizing about you professional? No.
That was his reasoning for his boldness when he speaks. "You know, I'm feeling rather sore...down here."
That is how you find yourself in his lap, bouncing on his fat cock as you tried to stay quiet, but it was hitting such amazing spots and so deep into you that you couldn't help yourself but to scream his name.
"nghh- oh! yes, yes!"
If it was possible, it was turning him on even more- watching you struggle to take his large size but still trying to ride him just to be his stress relief. Instead, he decides to thrust up into you, making you stop trying and instead lean against him, wrapping your arms around him as he placed his hands on your hips, taking the lead and sending you into purebliss.
"oh~ oh! fuck...so deep!"
"if you're truly so keen on being such a good stress relief for me, well, then I hope you don't mind if I rail you for the rest of the night...and possibly every other.
thoma, kaeya, kazuha, Itto, aether, albedo, zhongli - a shrine maiden (or anything related in the other regions)
He doesn’t know what it is but there’s something about your innocence that he just needs to ruin.
Well, not ruin: he thinks it’s adorable, but he knows that one day someone else will see you in a way he fantasizes about late at night and he is determined to become that person because no one else deserves to see you in a way like that other than him.
He takes more frequent trips to where you work, to the point that it’s so often you find yourself hugging him when you see him and you don’t think about the way he holds on tightly, hands right above your ass.
However, you weren’t as innocent as he thought. Sure, you were completely oblivious ro the truth behind his actions but late at night, there was a possibility you had the same fantasias about it too. But you couldn’t show it to him! No, you had a job to do and it was to stay pure.
You just loved the way his touches were so teasing as they lingered near the places you oh so wish you could take care of.
It becomes so bad it starts to ache, and you find yourself at his door after coming back from work, needing his help for this relief and he is so happy to oblige.
Tears streamed down your face, moaning at how good his cock felt as it pushed into you so deeply, hitting all the spots your fingers never could.
“f-faster…” You gasped, “please!”
He could only let out a deep chuckle, his movement becoming harsher that anyone who even walked nearby the house could hear the slick noises.
“You’re gonna make me cum, darling.”
“In me!” you whined, trying to push yourself further onto his dick and he laughed. “f-fill me up!”
“Such indecency, dear. No one can know how much of a slut you are; it’ll ruin your image! That means you must always come to me for this, got it?”
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niningtori · 1 day
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supermodel | part two
part one
pairing: choi beomgyu x you
summary: after finding out one of your closest friends sabotaged your relationship with beomgyu in hopes of having him all to herself, you end up spending a night with him. you may come to regret it when you realize beomgyu may not have been as innocent as he initially seemed.
genre: romance, angst, MELODRAMA, yandere, smut (MDNI!!!)
warnings: MDNI!!! yandere!gyu (super manipulative!gyu at least), more (justified imo) cheating, unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, praise, degradation, pregnancy kink, voyeurism (ig?), dom!gyu, sub!gyu, if i'm missing anything lmk
word count: 6.2k
notes: alright ;_; after much debate i'm reposting this probably only for a few days just so everyone who wanted to read can read it before i (probably) delete again! posting this made me feel rlly insecure for some reason but thanks to my moots and anons i feel a lot better ab it :) at least for a little bit. also, i know the direction may have taken quite the turn but this is genuinely just how it came out 😭 if you don't like it i'm sorry ( ཀ͝ ∧ ཀ͝ )
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it’s hard to reason with beomgyu as he presses hot kisses down your neck, but it’s not like you’re not trying. you think you’re trying really hard, actually, but it’s nothing in comparison to the effort he’s putting in to make you lose your mind. you have no control over your moans when he sucks a hickey into your neck. you feel heat pooling in your stomach as he grabs your ass and snakes his other hand up your hoodie to catch one of your hardened nipples between his fingers. he’s finally tasted you and, like a man starved, he’ll be damned before someone takes away what’s his.
“b-beomie, we can’t! let’s go back to my place, at least,” you try to reason, but your resolve is weakening as you feel your pussy wetten under his caresses. 
“shh, hana’s not gonna be home tonight,” he whispers. “just want you so bad, can’t wait.” he looks so earnest, you can’t bear to part from him. his puppy eyes look devastated, so what else can you do besides relent? and he knows it, too. now he’s got you. 
he leads you to hana’s bedroom, where he’s spent countless nights listening to her talk about how much she loves him, has loved him for years. he wants to roll his eyes at this, but he doesn’t want you to misunderstand, so he keeps it to himself. he’ll admit, she really did pull the wool over his eyes when she said you didn’t like him, so he can’t wait to see her reaction when she realizes you two have finally figured it out. if she wants to play dirty, they can both try their hand and see who wins. 
and it feels an awful lot like he’s winning when he sees you undress once again, body bare with traces of him on every part of you. even if he hadn’t marked you up so much, and he has, there’s still evidence of his impact on you leaking out of your pussy. you letting him come inside was truly unexpected, but welcome, nonetheless. he knows, when you’ve sobered up from your lustful daze, you’ll ask him if he’s ever fucked hana raw. you’ll probably cry again and rush to get plan b, but he’ll tell you he’s not stupid. he’d never fuck anyone without protection, especially someone he likes as little as he likes hana. he just likes you so much, he couldn’t help but want to feel you. you’re everything he dared to wish you would be. even better, actually, and now that he’s tasted you, he never wants to stop. 
the feeling of wanting to be close to you reemerges when he sees you dropping to your knees for him. you fiddle with the zipper of his pants and he sighs when cool air meets his bare cock. and you're so perfect with your makeup smudged, hair in disarray, and mouth open, prettily presented for fucking.
you start with a lick of your lips and he’s already rock hard from the anticipation. you grab his base and tease little licks up and down his length. he never thought he’d be particularly into that, really, but you look so hungry for him it makes him whine. finally, you lick the precum off of his tip and he moans when you shallowly take in the tip of his cock, hollowing out your cheeks. you bob your head shallowly and it’s taking every ounce of self control he has not to grab the back of your head and shove himself down your throat. but he doesn’t want to hurt you, so he lets you tease him. for now, at least. you take more and more of him into your warm mouth until you can feel his tip searing the back of your throat. you can’t possibly fit all of him into your mouth, so you take the rest of him in your hands. you look up at him with watery eyes, almost like you’re asking for his approval, and his already thinning patience snaps. he grabs your hair and pumps himself in and out of you. you try to meet his thrusts with teasing swipes of your tongue, never once breaking eye contact. the combination of your gaze and the sight of your drool mixed with his precum dripping out of your mouth drives him crazy. 
“baby, look, you’re drooling all over my cock.” you hum in agreement, but a nasty thought crosses his mind as he remembers that you almost went out with another man tonight.
“mmm, who taught you how to use that slutty little mouth?” he asks, riling himself up for reasons unknown. the thought of someone else seeing you like this is enough to push him to madness. he fucks himself into your mouth mercilessly. you’re coughing and slobbering all over his cock, but it’s only when hot tears pour down your face that he registers what he’s doing. how can he bear to hurt you? he pulls out and you’re gasping for air. 
“shh, it’s okay, you’re okay. c’mere,” he coos, leading you to the bed.
you lay down shakily and he takes a moment just to admire your body and the work he’s done to it. he can’t control the want in his gaze when he sees your pussy dripping on hana’s comforter. it’s sick to see, in a way, but it excites him even more. 
“turn around,” he commands, and you would, you really, really would, but your limbs feel so weak, it’s a chore. he sighs and roughly turns you on your stomach himself. he manhandles you into kneeling on all fours and it’s all you can do not to buckle under such force, but you can’t deny the way it makes your pussy clench around nothing when he does this. as if he can read your mind, he lets out a soft laugh as he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes himself in. you’ve obviously just fucked, but you’re still as tight and hot as the first time. slowly, he feels you stretch and spasm to accommodate his length – pussy gripping him like a vise. he shakes when he feels himself completely sheathed in you. 
“g-good girl,” he praises. “so good for me.” then, without giving you another moment to adjust, he begins thrusting into you. his hips meet your ass and he’s awestruck by the sight of it as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix relentlessly. as he’s pumping into your heat, you don’t mean for your arms to give out from under you, but they do. he’s just fucking you so good you can’t help but feel weak. he chuckles at how you’re becoming undone after just a few strokes, but truthfully? he’s endeared. you were so brave in talking back to him earlier, but that attitude is completely gone as you lay there and let him take you over and over again. 
“nghh… not so hard, beomie,” you moan. 
“is it good, baby? i can feel you milking my cock. tell me it’s good, or i’ll stop,” he threatens.
“mmm, ‘s good! too good!”! you cry.
you’re so busy moaning out beomgyu’s name with your face mashed in the pillows, you really don’t hear the apartment door open and keys being thrown carelessly on the table, but as for beomgyu? he hears it all and it brings a mean, lopsided grin to his face. you’d think he would, at the very least, slow down, but he only rams harder and harder into you. the sound of wetness and skin slapping skin echo throughout the room. hana really wasn’t supposed to be home, this much is true, but what beomgyu didn’t tell you is that she had texted him saying her plans have changed and that he should come over. truly, he couldn’t have conjured up a better outcome than the one unfolding before him.
“beomgyu?!” hana shrieks. you’re so surprised you nearly jump out of beomgyu’s grasp, but he holds your ass in place as he continues his thrusts.
“don’t listen to her, just feel me,” he says in a raspy tone. and what can you do besides listen when he drills himself even harder into you? when you feel the veins of his cock dragging against your insides, you’re tuning out hana’s desperate cries, intentionally or not.
“coming inside, okay?” he, well, you would say ‘asks’, but it’s more of a statement of fact rather than a question. “take it all, baby,” he says as his hips begin to stutter. he smacks your ass — just because he can — and you feel it pulsate throughout your entire body as you clench around him, seeing nothing but white behind your eyelids as your release finally comes along with his.
you’re gasping for air when you finish. he carefully pulls out and watches as your cum and his mix together in the most sinful way. it’s a truly a sight to see, and if he had more time, he would be whipping out his phone and capturing the moment to revisit the next time he’s alone, but hana’s words are cutting into his bliss before he can fully appreciate the sight before him.
“b-beomie? w-what’s going on?” hana asks, tears streaming unabashedly down her pretty face. beomgyu is far too preoccupied to appreciate them, though, as he gently helps you sit up and thoughtfully wipes the drool and tears off of your face. 
“‘what’s going on?’” he begins mockingly. “do you really need me to show you again?” he sneers. 
meanwhile, you feel like a deer in headlights as you meet hana’s gaze. you feel dirty and small as you try your damndest to cover yourself up. hana’s soft eyes harden while she stares at you. 
“you. you did this, you fucking slut,” she spits. you break your gaze and stare down at your naked body. you feel incredibly vulnerable because, as you already know, she’s right. you feel your eyes heat up with tears, this time from guilt and humiliation rather than pleasure.
“you’d better watch your fucking mouth,” beomgyu says, eyebrows furrowed and voice even deeper than usual. 
“i just don’t understand. why? why her? and how could you do this to me? you said you loved me!” she shrieks, grabbing beomgyu’s arm. he harshly pulls away and instead collects your sweats and hoodie. you can’t help but stare. he said he loved her then he turned around and fucked you? oh no. 
“well, i lied, if that’s not clear enough,” he shrugs, gingerly dressing you like you’re some kind of catatonic doll. and, right now, you might as well be as you let him do what he wants. his callous words don’t match his gentle actions and it’s making your brain short-circuit. 
“if and when he does the same shit to you,” she says, looking at you with more hurt than you’ve ever seen on a person, “don’t you fucking dare come crying to me. or any of our friends, actually. just wait ‘til they hear what you fucking did.” you shiver at her ominous words. she’s right, after all. beomgyu dropped her the second you showed interest in him, who’s to say he won’t do the same to you? sure, he’s acting lovey dovey now, but you’ve seen firsthand how quickly his tune can change. you’re absolutely fucked. it’s your word against hers, and with the evidence of your betrayal seeping into her sheets, you don’t like your odds. you can’t help but stare at beomgyu, and, as if he’s reading your mind, he says his next words patiently.
“i love you. i would never hurt you like this.” he loves you now? you continue to look at him doubtfully. his words seem cheap after hana’s unforgiving speech, and he realizes he’s losing you when you don’t respond. hana doesn’t stop there, though.
“if he did this to me, i can’t wait to see what he’ll do to you,” she laughs. hana is, objectively speaking, a lot more of a catch than you are. and to the very bitter end, she won’t let you fucking forget it.
“shut your fucking mouth!” he exclaims and she flinches, as do you. you’ve never seen him so angry and it’s enough to scare you. 
“... i should go,” you croak.
“yeah, you should,” hana ridicules. you do an incredibly shaky walk of shame as you quickly gather your things. 
“hey, wait!” he pleads, but you’re already booking it out of the door. he goes to run after you, but hana grabs him forcefully by his shoulder and he spins around to face her. you slam the door, not wanting to know what kind of makeup sex they will probably be having relatively soon. as soon as you’re gone, hana begins.
“are you fucking crazy? her, of all people?!” she hisses.
“i thought i told you to watch how you talk about her,” he says lowly. his eyes are so intense, she’s momentarily stunned, but he’s crazy if he thinks that’ll shut her up. perhaps to her eventual regret, she says her next words.
“if i tell everyone, she’ll be fucking ruined. she’ll have nobody after this.” 
“so?” 
“so, stay with me,” she says softly, while, to his disgust, grabbing his hands and pleading with him. “stay with me, and i won’t tell anybody.” she looks as pathetic as a dog right now, and her words make him laugh in her face.
“tell them,” he says. 
“w-what?” she sputters.
“tell them all. i want you to tell them how i fucked one of your best friends and got her pregnant. tell them how i fucked her raw in your own bed. go on, i’d love to see their reactions when they find out.” 
“you’re… you’re fucking crazy,” she gasps.
“maybe, but not crazy enough to stay with you,” he shrugs. “i got what i wanted, i don’t need you anymore.” for once, she shuts her mouth. the puzzle pieces finally fit together and her jaw drops in awe.
“you did this on purpose?” 
“maybe you’re not as dumb as you look,” he sneers, and with that, he zips up his pants and pats her cheek. “you were okay in bed, but that’s about it.” 
her tears are falling, but that does nothing to mar her beauty. still, his heart remains unfazed. 
“when she finds out, she’ll leave you,” she sobs.
“and who will she believe? her ex friend who’s out to get her, or me? the only person she has left? i’d love to see who she believes.” his words leave her in even more tears, but he does nothing to placate her. he just grabs his shit and slams the door behind him.
-
hana wastes no time in telling your friends about your scandal. your incoming texts range from “what the fuck is wrong with you” to “is it true?” to “you’d better not show your face to us again”.
you attempt to explain yourself, but to no avail. even if hana lied to you first, you committed the ultimate betrayal with a smile on your face. nobody wants to hear your sob story about your forbidden love with beomgyu. nobody, not even your best friend, dares to defend you now.
the one person who’s on your side has been texting you relentlessly, though. beomgyu’s insistence on making sure you’re okay does little to quell the uneasiness in your heart. hana’s words resound in your head. “if he did this to me, i can’t wait to see what he does to you.” you don’t want to give him that chance, but your resolve is weakening when you feel yourself becoming more and more isolated from the people you used to call your friends. 
for days, you don’t leave your house except to go to work. where else can you go? you don’t have anyone to go out with you anymore. still, beomgyu texts and attempts to call you through it all. his messages are all about how much he loves you, how much he misses you, how much he needs you. how much he promises to make things right with you and how you’re the only one he’s wanted all along. more and more, you feel yourself slipping away. even though you never respond, you still sift through his messages and it’s enough to bring smiles, no matter how small, to your face. he loves you, wants you, needs you. who else do you have in your life to say things like that to you? 
still, the thought of trusting him scares you to your bones. what if he does the same shit to you? you don’t have a support system anymore. you don’t have anybody to rely on when he inevitably hurts you in the same way. why wouldn't he, after all? you’re no match for the kind of girls who come his way. what happens when he gets sick of you and wants to fuck another girl in your bed? you’re stuck with these thoughts as you nurse a bottle of vodka, alone in your apartment with nobody but yourself. this is what you deserve, you think. 
a knock on your door is enough to pull you out of your drunken haze. is it one of your friends? could they have finally gotten over their intial shock and disgust and understood that you didn’t mean for any of this to happen the way it did? you stumble to the door and you’re too drunk to even think about checking who it is before desperately swinging open the door. you are not met with the familiar face of one of your friends, however. instead, you see the face of the boy who’s been haunting your dreams for the past few nights.
“beomgyu?” he looks absolutely devastated, eyes reddened and wet with his face ghostly pale. he reeks of alcohol and he stands almost tremblingly. he doesn’t respond to you, just stares at you with the same intensity that entranced you from the very beginning.
“what are you doing here?” you ask. 
“can i come in? please?” you’ve never been able to say no to him, and you especially can’t in his current pathetic state. you move from the doorway to allow him access and quietly shut the door behind him.
“what do you want?” you try.
“want you,” he sobs, tears finally flowing from his sad brown eyes. “only ever wanted you.” your heart aches when you see him like this. you thought hana’s reaction was devastating enough, but he looks absolutely wrecked right now, putting her despair to shame, really. 
“i don’t know what to say,” you admit. “we fucked up, plain and simple. and i don’t know how i can trust you after what we did.” you’re not a victim in this, to be clear, but you’re far too vulnerable to accept the heart that he's holding out for you so carelessly. 
“i know, and i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. what can i do to make you trust me?” he begs. your already soft heart softens even more at his words, but you have to be realistic.
“i… i don’t think i can. if you had just talked to me in the first place things could've been different,” you reason. this only puts the boy in an even worse state. he’s almost wailing now, and he looks to you for comfort.
“p-please, just please. give me one chance,” he cries, looking absolutely frantic. “i’ll prove it to you, just let me.” he reaches for your face and you didn’t even realize you’re crying until he swipes away your tears. well, you’re already going to hell. what’s the point in atoning for your sins now? 
as if he can read your mind, he musters up a shaky smile before leaning in and giving you a chaste kiss. his lips taste salty, but sweet, and he’s kissing you with a passion you’ve never felt before. you almost believe him when he says you’re the only one. almost.
“h-how do i know you’re not going to do the same thing to me?” you ask unsteadily. 
“i would never,” he says immediately. “i would never hurt you.” at least, not like this. but you don’t know that yet. 
-
in the weeks following his drunken appearance at your door, being with beomgyu is even better than you thought it would be. it’s like a switch has been turned back on and he’s back to treating you like a princess, almost like the months since your “breakup” never happened. he randomly brings you flowers, showers you with kisses, and he can’t seem to keep his hands off of you along with declarations of love, which you never directly reciprocate. no matter how well he treats you, though, there’s an underlying sense of unease. you still find it difficult to fully trust him, and he can tell. it’s driving him to the brink of madness trying to come up with ways to show you how much he cares.
you’re in the middle of pensively reevaluating the nature of your relationship with beomgyu for the 100th time when you hear a knock on your door. at this point, you don't even bother checking who it is because you already know it'll be beomgyu. no matter how desperately you wish it were one of your ex-friends, you’re always met with his face, instead. you open the door and you’re shocked, to put it mildly. standing before you is not the beomgyu you know and (probably) love, but hana.
“we need to talk,” she grumbles. almost as if you’re possessed, you let her in without much fuss. is she here to rekindle your friendship? to tell you she’ll forgive you after what you’ve done to her? 
“hana, listen i’m so incredibly sor—” 
“save it,” she says, lifting her hand. “i’m only here ‘cause i have something i need to say to you. it took me weeks to come here because i don’t even wanna look at you.” you gulp and nod, genuinely anxious as to what she has in store for you.
“i’m just going to tell you straight up. beomgyu’s not who you think he is,” she deadpans. 
“w-what do you mean?” if she’s talking about how he’ll eventually betray you, you’ve already thought of that. why she thinks this is news to you, you don’t know.
“listen to me, he planned this whole fucking thing.” what could she possibly mean by that? he planned to get caught by her? that doesn’t even make sense. “i told him i’d be home the night that i walked in on you.” your jaw drops in horror, but she continues as if she doesn’t notice.
“i think… i think he heard us over the phone and knew you’d be there before meeting with jay. he told me he wanted our friends to find out and to see who you’d believe if i told you. whether you believe me or not, i really don’t give a fuck, but it’s true. he said he got what he wanted, so he doesn’t need me anymore.” she chokes on her last words and you can't help but feel sorry for her, but that feeling is overshadowed by the feelings of anger towards beomgyu. you don’t think hana would lie about this. she looks so flustered and heartbroken, you don’t believe for a second that she’s lying just to rile you up. before you can reply, the door opens and beomgyu’s figure appears in your doorway. he has a smile on his face, but it drops lightning fast when he sees who’s standing there.
“what the fuck are you doing here?” he says with a scowl.
“i’m on my way out,” hana mumbles, pushing past him. he doesn’t even attempt to stop her. he registers the mixed emotions on your face and he can guess what she said to you without much effort.
“let me explain,” he says lowly, already heading towards you to placate you like you’re some sort of wild animal he has to coax. and you’re so angry, you might as well be.
“explain what? that you ruined my fucking life?” you spit. he flinches at your tone, even more so at your next words. “what i don’t understand is why? is my life a fucking game to you?” his face crumbles at this. 
“n-no! never!” he sputters.
“then what is this? what’s your reason for planning for hana to walk in us? is this a kink or something?” he shakes his head frantically. 
“you don’t understand, i just wanted it to be us,” he pleads. “i don’t like them. they’ll just try to take you away from me.” 
“take me away from them? beomgyu, i’m not some fucking toy. i’m a person. a person whose life you fucking ruined for no reason!” you exclaim. you’re so frustrated you could cry, so you do. does he not realize how badly he fucked you over? “you promised you’d never hurt me,” you sob.
“i-i did it for us! they wouldn’t care about how we feel… they’d just take hana’s side without even thinking about it!” he argues, grabbing your hands. you want to pull away, but if you do, that means you’ll be completely alone. 
“you didn’t even give them a chance,” you reason. “now it’s really over,” you say between sobs. “i… i could’ve talked to them, but you ruined it!” 
“i just want you all to myself, is that so bad?” he asks, as if he genuinely can't understand why you’re so upset. he’s actually sick in the head.
“why?!” you ask again, ripping your hands from his grasp.
“because i love you,” he says desperately. “i just love you so much. i’m sorry, i’ll never do anything like this again,” he promises. 
“yeah, you won’t,” you reply bitterly. “because i won’t give you that chance.” 
“w-what do you mean?” he asks, lips trembling and eyes red.
“i’m not doing this with you anymore. this whole thing was doomed from the start,” you reply firmly. he shakes his head as if denying it with fervor will undo what you’ve said, tears now flowing freely from his reddened eyes.
“no, p-please,” he cries. “i only did it because i love you so much. ever since i first saw you, i only ever wanted to be with you. i… i know i fucked up, but it was the only way. believe me, please.” your already soft heart is softening even more as you listen to the desperation in his voice. he sounds so lost and scared, as if he really doesn’t know what he’ll do if you tell him no. you briefly wonder if he’s ever heard the words: “no, beomgyu. you’ve gone too far this time.” but as you watch him come undone before you, you don’t think you’ll be able to be the one who tells him no, anyway. 
“i’m giving you one, and i mean one, last chance. if you fuck up this time, i promise you, you’ll never see me again,” you declare. you don't know what you’re expecting, really, but the sight of even more tears streaming down his face is not it. he grabs you and pulls you in his warm and trembling embrace.
“th-thank you,” he cries. “you won’t regret this.” 
“i’d better not,” you mumble. even if you do, you can’t deny the way your heart skips a beat at his pure, unadulterated need for you. even if you do come to regret it, it’s impossible to look at him right now and say he’s not being sincere. he pulls away from you and hurriedly captures your mouth, and as if your next words will take back what you said, he seals them in your throat before you can manage to get anything more out. as the kiss becomes more heated, you feel something hard and angry poking into your stomach.
“already?” you tease. he actually blushes at this.
“can’t help it. need you,” he replies sheepishly. 
“you need me, huh? is that why you’ve been so bad?” you ask, palming him deliciously through his pants.
“n-not bad! just love you so much, couldn’t stop myself.” your temper actually flares a little at this. you palm him more harshly and his breath catches when you do.
“really? but you’ve been so bad, i don’t think you deserve me,” you say menacingly, pulling your hand away. he audibly whimpers at this.
“no, no, no, please! i’ll be good from now on,” he pleads as he grabs your hand and begins to snake it under the waistband of his pants. you let him, but you don’t take his hardened length into your hand like you usually would. instead, you tease the sensitive area around it, even going so far as to ghost your fingers over his balls, but you conveniently avoid giving him any sort of friction or attention, so he’s gasping when you give him a mean and unexpected tug. 
“p-please stop teasing me,” he cries, eyes so beautiful and watery. “i know i’ve been bad, but i can make you feel so good.” he’s right, in a way. you’ve never and will never feel as good as you do when beomgyu pumps into you and shoots his hot load in your pussy, but he’s deranged if he thinks you’ll let him have you so easily tonight. not after what he’s done.
“hmm, i’m not so sure about that,” you hum. you lead him to your bedroom as if he’s hypnotized. you haven’t even let him enter you yet, if you’re going to let him do so at all, but he’s already acting like he’s drunk on you. 
“strip,” you command simply. without any questions or doubts, he eagerly takes off his hoodie and shoves his pants down, stepping out of them and closer to you. it’s sickeningly sweet to see how possessed he is by you. he tries to take your own clothes off, but you smack his hand away. 
“bad boy,” you say, and he whines like a dog. “lay down.” he does what you say, lying completely exposed on your bed as he gives a few pulls on his throbbing cock. “stop fucking touching yourself or you’re not getting anything from me,” you add, and he whines even louder. 
“please touch me,” he begs, cock standing all red and weeping. 
“you don’t deserve it,” you shrug. you take off your pants and he leches at the image of your pussy dripping wet for him, and so soon. all he can think about is how warm it is and how fervently he wants to be in it. he thinks you’re going to sit on his cock, because that would be the most natural course of action, but all you do is lay next to him and pull something out of your nightstand drawer. a vibrator. are you fucking serious? 
“no!” he begs, already knowing how this is going to go.
“you can take what you get from me or you can beat it,” you bite back. that shuts him up. he’s biting his lip, trying not to get scolded again, but he can’t help but whine again when you spread your legs and turn your vibrator on. 
“ah,” you moan as the rubber tip hits your clit. “feels so good.” 
“i’d feel better,” he insists, eyes widened and desperate like a madman. 
“touch yourself,” you say in response. “i'm not touching that dirty cock of yours, so take care of it yourself.” he doesn’t need to be told twice. he immediately spits on his hand and begins to wildly jerk his weeping cock. he whines at the friction. you, however, are so lost in the feeling of the vibrations pulsating throughout your pussy, you couldn’t seem to care less about what he does. this only makes him whine even louder. he’s experiencing pleasure, sure, but the sounds coming from him are exaggerated and theatrical. he’s just trying to get a rise out of you. he just wants you to look at him, is that too much to ask?
you open your eyes at his petulant noise and say your next words so quietly, if he wasn’t paying more attention, he’d miss them. “kiss me.” so he does. the kiss is filthy and nothing more than the tangling of tongues, but that combined with the stimulation on your poor pussy is enough to make you near the edge. 
beomgyu can tell you’re close, and his kisses become even more heated as he abuses his cock under his hand. he’s moaning into your mouth, showing you, in no uncertain terms, just how badly he wants to be in you instead. 
“let me do it,” he begs. “come around me, instead. it’ll feel so much better.” his dirty words break you out of your trance and you annoyedly shut the vibrator off while tossing it god knows where. you tear his hand away from his cock and mount him, teasingly rubbing yourself against him, but refusing to put it in. he whines and pouts, but you’re far too busy trying to get yourself off to appease him. then, as if he’s possessed, he raises his hips and his tip catches on your entrance. you both gasp at his shallow intrusion. 
“p-please sit on it, it hurts,” he asks rather pathetically. 
“i can’t, beomie. you haven’t even fingered me yet — you’ll break me in half,” you say provocatively. he whimpers at the imagery. “and you've been so bad, how can i let you get what you want? you’ll never learn if i do that.” 
“i’ve learned! i promise, i’ve learned! just, please, help me,” he cries, bucking his hips up and holding your waist so hard you’ll know he’ll leave bruises. 
“mmm, i don’t knowwww,” you drawl.
“please!” and with that, you angle your hips and begin to sink on his thick length. the stretch burns and you can’t help but cry out as you feel your pussy enveloping every inch of him mercilessly. he’s in tears when he feels you throbbing around him, pussy stretching to accommodate how big he is. when you finally, finally take him all in, he can’t help but begin to fuck into you wantonly. 
“b-beomie, slow down!” 
“c-can’t! feels so good,” he says, tears streaming down his pretty face. he grabs your waist even tighter and flips you around so you’re lying beneath him. his cock continues to hammer into you and you’re seeing stars. his mouth is open, drool pooling out of the corners of his lips, and he’s moaning out your name like a prayer.
“pussy so good, so perfect,” he babbles. “missed this. missed feeling you like this.” 
“i missed it too,” you admit. 
“wanted you, wanted you for so long,” he continues. you don’t even think he knows what he’s saying, but you can tell he means every word. he reaches to your stomach and presses down where his cock is ramming into you. your eyes roll back at the pleasure that comes with the pressure. 
“my baby could be in here,” he muses. “our baby.” this should scare you into sobriety, but it does nothing of the sort. you find yourself tightening even further at the thought of him breeding you like a bitch. 
“i’ll take care of you, i swear,” he says as he thrusts so hard your head nearly meets the headboard. “i’ll give you everything you need. sh-shit, baby, wanna fill you up so good you feel me for days,” those words in addition to his sloppy thrusts are what send you over the edge. you clench around him and he hisses at how you’re even tighter than usual. you feel his thrusts become even more sporadic and he’s emptying himself into you unceremoniously. as he softens, he pulls out and you wince at the feeling. to your surprise, he moves down to your pussy and begins to lap up all of the cum like a starving animal. then, he pulls you in for one last nasty kiss. 
-
you don’t know if you necessarily trust beomgyu, but it’s hard not to at least try to when he basically prostrates himself in front of you on a daily basis. he lets you walk all over him, really. if you call him, he comes running. if you’re mad or upset, he soothes you. when you’re being unreasonable, he reasons, anyway. you still haven’t heard from your friends, but you’re starting to accept the fact that you never will. he introduces you to his friends, and surprisingly, they actually welcome you with open arms. apparently, they didn’t like hana very much and knew beomgyu always had a thing for you. you’re not sure how to feel about that, but you’re flattered, nonetheless. 
you call beomgyu crazy, and maybe he is, but he always says it's because he's crazy in love with you. you want to playfully smack him when he says such cheesy words, but you're starting to really believe him.
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yxngbxkkie · 2 days
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pranking the husband (l.y.f)
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okay, so i saw this tik tok today and instantly had an idea for my baby, felix 🫢 this is fucking adorable. i love it, i hope you love it 🩷
feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰
~
You keep giggling to yourself while in the bathroom, and you're surprised Felix hasn't come to ask you what's so funny. You glance over your shoulder, a smile on your lips as you watch your husband scroll through his tik tok.
“Cutie,” you mumble to yourself, making a mental note to kiss him after you finish the tik tok you're about to make.
While scrolling through your for you page this morning, you found a trend that you wanted to try on Felix. You're typically not one to make tik toks, but you don't actually post any of them, but this one makes you want to see how he'd react.
You stealthily put up your phone, checking to see if both of you are in it before hitting record. You fluff your hair and check yourself out in the mirror.
“Babe, how much longer do we have?” You ask him, knowing you need to leave in twenty minutes.
Felix doesn't look up from his phone, answering your question. “Twenty minutes. Are you ready?”
“No, not yet,” you sigh and rest your hands on your hips. “I'm not sure I really like the outfit I'm wearing.”
Your husband lifts his head, his eyes roaming down your body. “You don't? I think you look really good, sweetness,” he smiles at you, seeing the love in his honey-brown eyes.
“God, I love you,” you smile at him, blowing him an air kiss. “But, I think I'm going to change. There's another outfit I've been dying to wear.”
Felix pouts but gives in, nodding his head. “If it'll make you happy, go ahead,” he mentions, puckering his lips for a kiss.
You melt at his cuteness, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest. You reach where he's sitting before planting a kiss on his lips. You giggle softly and pull away before he can deepen it.
“Okay, can you get out real quick so I can change?” You ask him nonchalantly, taking a step back.
Felix nods his head, closing the apps on his phone as he stands up. Your jaw drops a bit as he just strolls out of the room. You glance towards your phone when his voice echoes into the bedroom.
“Wait!” He rushes back in, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Why am I leaving the room? You got changed in front of me earlier.”
You bite your lip, deciding to keep playing along. “Well, I wanted the outfit to be a surprise,” you tell him while leaning against the bathroom door frame.
He narrows his eyes at you before walking closer to you. You go back into the bathroom, holding your hand out in case he tries to tickle you. He's sneaky like that.
Felix finds your phone propped up and points a figure at you. “You sneaky! You're doing a bit,” he figures it out, laughing cutely.
You giggle as his arms wrap around your waist. You hug him tightly, both of you swaying in your shared bathroom. “I saw it on tik tok,” you tell him, combing your fingers through his hair.
“I can not believe you almost got me,” he laughs, pulling back. His gaze meets yours, and Felix smiles softly before kissing you again.
“I love you, my baby,” you grin, planting short kisses on his lips and cheeks. “Plus, you should know that I prefer to strip in front of you.”
Felix's smile turns into a smirk, one of his hands finding a place on your waist. “You love my eyes on you,” he impossibly moves in closer, his chest pressing against yours.
“Baby,” you sigh, tilting your head back when he starts kissing your neck. “We're gonna miss our reservation.”
“What if,” Felix trails off, placing a chaste kiss on your lips, “we canceled.”
You pout at him while grabbing a hold of one of his hands. “But, baby, we've already had to cancel on them once. I don't want to do it again. Chan was telling me how excited he is for tonight. And, two, I got all pretty for you. Don't you want to show me off?”
“You do look pretty,” Felix sighs, taking in the outfit you've “decided” to keep on. “And, I love showing you off. Can I eat you out when we get home?”
You throb at his question, squeezing his hand you're holding. “I can never say no to you,” you chuckle breathlessly, leading your husband towards the front door.
~
tagging: @strawboorybunny @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @moon0fthenight @foxinnie8 @like-a-diamondinthesky @prettymiye0n
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feralforfrank · 12 hours
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fuck it, give me mean!reader.
simon riley x fem!reader
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i see so many innocent/soft/polite!reader paired with simon, but i've barely come across mean!reader (to everyone except, eventually, simon).
i want reader that isn't intimidated by his size or his glare or his mask at all. she just finds it annoying as fuck. (you'll see)
simon's attention is completely on you from the moment he laid eyes on you. you're in a bar, and he's coming out of the loo, not looking in front of him. he bumps into you — a pretty thing, shorter than him, the top of your head reaching his shoulder — and the collision causes your beer to spill all over your shirt.
"bloody fucking hell, man! watch where you're fucking going!"
you're soaked and your shirt clings on your body, and simon's wide eyes shamelessly wander over it. you're hot.
you look down at the mess he's made, fingers dripping beer as you wave the empty bottle away from you. your eyes snap up to meet his in an icy glare, and he must admit that his rookies back in base would definitely cower under your stare.
"a sorry would be nice. i have nothing to cover myself with and it's cold outside." you scoff.
you raise your eyebrows, waiting for a response. you're surprised he hasn't walked away yet. his eyes express the boredom and unamusement of the situation. you sigh a few seconds later, realising he's opted at staring at your bra rather than being a gentleman and apologising.
you nod at brenda, the bartender, calling her name and sliding the empty bottle her way. to the bathroom it is, then. you just hope you can dry it enough for your bra not to show.
"move, you brute." you push past the silent giant, cursing like a sailor under your breath.
you don't realise he's followed you, in the women's restroom, until several minutes later, when you're struggling to soak up the alcohol with paper towels. simon's leaning on the doorway, arms crossed as he watches you unbutton your shirt.
"y'gonna giv'me a show, lov'?"
he startles you, and you grab the soap by the sink, arm raised to throw it at him, but you stop yourself.
"you've come to spill another drink on me, or just to stare at my boobs?"
you turn your back on him, unbuttoning the rest. sneaking a glance in the mirror, you're surprised to find his eyes cast elsewhere. good.
"you need something, dickhead?" you look at him as you place your shirt directly under the hand dryer, hoping it'll do the job faster.
his eyes don't meet yours, stuck on a big ben painting on the wall.
"didn't get to apologise." his voice is smooth, accent thick.
"well, you're not forgiven. shirt's still soaked and i smell like beer. so..."
if simon was being one hundred percent honest, he was shocked by your boldness. you'd met him several moments ago, yet you'd called him several names, while also glaring daggers. he wasn't used to anyone behaving like that around him or talking to him in that way. he was definitely intrigued.
"a drink on me, then?" additionally to finding you extremely attractive, you seemed interesting and he — although, he wouldn't admit it — wanted to hear more of the variety of names you had for him.
you shake your head. "there's no way i'm staying another minute in here." you pull on your semi-dry shirt. "i stink, curtesy of some random, abnormally tall idiot, who forgets there's shorter pople in the world."
the laugh comes unexpectedly. your eyes train on him as you button up, glaring.
"you're laughing at me, now?"
simon barely shakes his head (while also trying to conceal his laughing), and you, once again, push past him. he follows you albeit a lot slower, watches you as you grab your things and call brenda over to pay her.
he slams the cash on the bar before you can take your wallet out, nodding at the woman and telling her to keep the change.
"i told you, stranger, apology not accepted."
he shrugs, draping his jacket over your shoulders. he'd picked up his things on the way over, dead set on apologising - in his own way. he was never good with words, and you seemed not to like that method either.
"simon."
"what?" you look up to him.
"name's simon. not stranger, or idiot, or dickhead. although, i quite like that one."
your eyes soften the tiniest bit as he looks down to meet your gaze. you notice the crinkle by his eyes when he gives you a stiff smile.
"well, si—dickhead, i'd appreciate it if you didn't use me as a human hanger, and let me go home." you move to shrug off his jacket, but he stops you.
his big hand brushes to the small of your back and he pushes you forwars softly. "go on, then. i don't know the way to your house."
you look confused. eyes narrowed and lips turned downwards in a pout. cute.
"a-are you...? you're walking me home?"
"i gotta show how sorry i am for drenching you in beer, one way or another, right?"
you sigh, shoulders slumping in surrender. you pull your arms through the sleeves, and to no one's surprise, the jacket is massive on you.
you motion for him to follow you. "i got peper spray in my bag though." your icy tone from before is back.
simon suppresses his smirk. "mhm."
"i won't hesitate to use it, dickhead."
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man....this is kind of shit....but i got do many ideas off of it....
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hsjazebel · 1 day
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Desperate part 2*
Word count: 2763
A/n: I’m sorry to have made you wait so long for part 2, but here it is! I hope you enjoy💘
*the imagine is just for aesthetic*
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“I'm gonna fuck you so good you won't be able to look me in the eyes for a week without blushing."
He looks you straight in the eyes and your mind is blank, you just want to be fucked so good and not think about anything.
“Cat got your tongue? I've barely touched you and you're already all stupid! You just want my cock in your little pussy, don't you?”
You nod not having the strength to speak, but this isn't enough for him.
“Words, baby. I need to hear your beautiful voice. Is that what you want?”
"Yes, yes. I want you!"
“Oh is it, pretty girl? You want me? Who expected that the good girl who knows how to cook such good pasta would actually hide a dirty part! But don't worry, now I'm here to scratch your itch, I'll treat your pussy so good I'll ruin you! Are you ready pretty girl? There’s no turning back.”
“Yes, I want it so bad!”
“Good girl!”
And so, he sticks his cock in you and it's like the rest disappears. You lie there with your mouth open making little moans because of the feeling of his big cock opening you up and stretching you out to make his way in your pussy.
“This is all you’re good for, just a hole for me to fuck. Such a nice, wet little pussy for m-“
The sound of your alarm clock wakes you up from your wet dream. You open your eyes trying to adjust to the light coming from the windows. Last night you forgot to lower the shutters and you're mentally cursing yourself for it.
The memories of your dream are still in your mind that you can even feel your panties getting wet.
It's been a week since your first meeting with Harry and it's been a week that you only have him on your mind.
This isn't the first time you've had a dream like this. And you know it won't be the last either.
You desperately want to take care of yourself but you don't have time because you promised your mother to go out and do some shopping together.
You decide to go take a cold shower trying not to think about the all too real feeling of Harry fucking you.
Then you choose an outfit for the day and go down to the living room where you find your mother fully dressed.
“I'm so happy to have a mother-daughter day! It's been a while since we went shopping together. I'm sad your sister isn't here too, it would have been nice to just be girls!” Your mom says as she grabs her purse and keys.
“Yeah, but she’s like Dad, she doesn't like shopping,” you follow her as you leave the house.
“I really don't know how she doesn't feel like going out and buying new clothes!” She laughs.
“I always ask myself that too!” You laugh along with her.
You both head towards the city center and start entering various shops.
After spending an hour trying on clothes, you decide to go into Sephora, a place you can't resist, and while you're debating whether or not to buy the Rare Beauty blush you hear your mother's phone ringing. She spends a few minutes on the phone and when she hangs up the call she looks at you with a sad look.
“They just called me from work. They said they found a motive against the other defendant in the trial. I have to go to the office. I'm so sorry to have to leave now, I even thought about going to brunch together.” You can tell she wasn't happy about leaving, but your mom was an established lawyer in your city, and she was now working on this very important case, she couldn't do anything about it.
“Don't worry Mom, I know how important this case is for you! I think I'll take another look in here and then I'll go get something to eat quickly,” you smile at her trying to cheer her up. “Come on, don't make that face, I'll stay here all summer, we'll find many more days to have another mother-daughter moment.”
"You are right! It seems to me that I don't see you very often and I was so happy to spend this day with you! Please don't spend too much money on makeup, I know you don't have a minimum of self-control when you come in here,” she laughs as she hugs you goodbye. You hug her back and with that you see her leave the shop.
You finish your shopping trip - and you may not have exactly listened to what your mother told you about not buying too much makeup - and decide to go alone to that brunch you were supposed to have with her.
You arrive at a small place near the center called Jerome and already from the outside you could see that the interior was all decorated in pink and this caught your attention.
You had passed by here several times but you had never seen it or heard the name of the place, so you deduce that it is a new opening, and so you decide to go in.
The interior was as you expected, all pink with neon cursive writing. On the left was a wall covered in pink and white roses with large swings as eating stations, which also had a large teddy bear that you found absolutely adorable, and on the left a large glass counter showing that which, in your opinion, was paradise.
A waitress with a welcoming smile comes towards you, inviting you to take a seat in the front room and that someone will come to take your order once you are ready.
You return her smile by thanking her kindly and make your way into the room she indicated.
On the way, you find on the right side a wall covered with pink velvet and a bicycle leaning against it with another big teddy bear on it. You find this corner particularly cute so you take your phone out of your bag to take a photo.
As you open the camera app you hear a familiar voice calling you.
“Hi Y/n!”
You turn in the direction of the voice and find the protagonist of your latest dreams sitting at a table on a pink velvet armchair.
"Oh! Hi Harry!" You return the greeting by smiling at him.
He pulls back a chair as a sign to sit next to him and you gladly accept.
“Shopping day I see,” Harry tells you pointing to the bags you had to bring with you.
"Oh yes!" You laugh. “I was out with Mum but she had to run away to work, so I'm forced to go around with all these bags!”
Harry laughs back. “That's why you're here alone.”
You are about to answer him but are interrupted by a waiter who has come to take your orders.
Once he leaves - not before giving you a sweet smile - you see Harry give the boy a not-so-kind look.
You continue your conversation until within a few minutes your food arrives.
You start eating in silence and you notice that Harry keeps staring at you.
“Do I have something on my face?”
“Mh? What?"
“I see you staring at me, I asked you if I had something on my face.”
“No, no you don't have anything on your face, it's just… I don't know if it's appropriate to ask you something.”
“Ask me what?”
He takes a long sigh. “I was just thinking… if you have a boyfriend”
You stop yourself from laughing at his question. “No, I don't have a boyfriend. Why do you ask?"
“I was just curious to know I guess. It is undeniable that you are a beautiful girl and I also noticed how that boy looked at you before and I was just wondering if you have a boyfriend, that's all."
"Don’t worry. In fact, right now I don't want a boyfriend, I broke up a couple of months ago so I'm thinking more about myself now."
“I'm sorry, I didn't know you broke up recently. Can I ask why if it doesn't bother you?”
“Don't worry, it doesn't bother me. I've been with this Italian guy named Lorenzo for more or less a year and a half, except that in the last period, things between us haven't been going so well. In the last few months, I saw him as more detached, and in the end, I discovered that he had another woman... that’s the reason!" you laugh sarcastically.
“Excuse my language but… he must be a real dickhead to have cheated on you.”
“I'm big now, you can use bad words in my presence, and yes you're right, he's a big dickhead!” You laugh and he follows you.
After finishing your brunch you are the first to get up.
“Thanks for keeping me company, Harry. I really enjoyed talking to you!”
“No, thanks to you Y/n! And I enjoyed talking to you too! It could be done more often!” He tells you smiling, making his dimples appear.
“Yes, I would be more than happy to do it again. Maybe I could mention to Dad to invite you to dinner some evening.”
"I'd really like to."
And so you head towards the exit of the place with him opening the door for you like a true gentleman.
Once outside, however, you remember that you had arrived here in your mother's car and now that she was gone you didn't know how to get home. So your only option - other than walking in the July sun for 40 minutes on foot, which you didn't think was the best option - was to ask Harry for help.
“Um, Harry?” You call him. “Sorry but I just realized that I don't know how to get home since my mother left with the car, and.. uhm I wanted to ask you if by any chance, if it were possible for you, you could take me home.”
You didn't like bothering people about your things, because you always had the impression that you were annoying.
“Of course, I can take you home Y/n! I would never leave you stranded. In fact, I was just asking you if you wanted a ride but you beat me to it."
And with that, you head towards his car. And again, being the gentleman that he is, he opens the door for you to get into the car.
Along the way you are rather silent, in addition to the noise of the radio music in the background, there is every now and then an exchange of words.
Once you arrive at the gate of your house you almost feel sorry to let Harry go, and he seems to think the same as you.
You're about to say bye and thank him when an idea comes to you.
“You know I was thinking about the conversation we had that evening at my house and I just remembered that I have another book that I think you might like… if you want you could come in the house for a moment.”
“Yes, I'd like to come in but I don't want to disturb you."
“Don't worry, there's no one at home. Mom and Dad are at work and my sister is at the beach with some friends.”
“Oh…okay.”
He leaves the car in the driveway and so you go into the house.
As soon as you enter you head towards the bookcase in the living room but looking carefully among the books you don't find what you were looking for.
Going back in your memory you remember leaving it in your room; you had recently finished reading it and you immediately thought Harry might like it.
“Um…I think I left it in my room, if you want you can come with me, I also have other books there and I think you might find something you might like.”
"Yes, of course!"
So you go up the stairs and enter your room, but as soon as you enter you see the chair near your bathroom with your pajamas and underwear on it that you had taken off before entering the shower.
But the thing that immediately catches your eyes are your white lace panties on top of your clothes, and, if you look at them better you can also see a darker part on their crotch which you know well what is due to: the man next to you to you.
While you were both in your room, you felt a strange tension in the air. You look at Harry and notice the way he avoids your gaze as if he's hiding something. You suddenly feel vulnerable, remembering the embarrassing moment when you had accidentally left your panties on the chair. You wonder if he saw it.
“Sorry if the room is a little messy,” you say, trying to break the awkward silence.
He smiled faintly. “Don't worry, you told me that the book you recommended is here somewhere, right?”
Your heart beats faster in your chest as you try to figure out if he's just trying to be nice or if he's trying to avoid the awkward moment.
“Sure, it's right there on the nightstand,” you reply, gesturing to the book with a wave of your hand. “Sorry about the mess.”
He walks over to the nightstand, but in his gaze, he notices your panties casually placed on the chair. He lets out a short sigh, trying not to let his embarrassing discovery show. “Thank you,” he said, taking the book carefully.
The tension in the air seems to increase as they both look into each other's eyes, an energy filled with repressed desire and forbidden curiosity.
You try to ignore the racing of your heart as he walks away from the nightstand with the book in his hands.
“There are some really interesting parts,” you say, trying to keep the conversation light. "I hope you like it."
He nodded with a gentle smile. “I can't wait to read it, thanks for the advice.”
The silence that followed was heavy, full of tension and unspoken meaning. You both knew what was behind that embarrassing moment, but neither seemed ready to face it.
You bit your lower lip, trying to find the courage to say something, anything that would break the overwhelming tension. But the words seemed to get stuck in your throat.
Finally, he turns to face you, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes you tremble slightly.
“Is there anything else you would like to talk about?” He asks you, his voice barely a whisper.
You swallow, feeling your heart beat so loudly it sounds like a drum in his ears. “Yes,” you admit in a small voice. “There is something we need to address.”
You feel your heart beating furiously in your chest as he gently approaches, creating an atmosphere full of anticipation.
“I know,” he whispers softly, his voice a seductive harmony in the air vibrant with desire.
A shiver of emotion runs through your skin as your gazes meet, communicating desires and secrets hidden deep inside.
You nod slightly, unable to articulate a sound, your breath held in anticipation of what was about to happen.
He gets even closer, so close that you can feel the heat of his breath on your skin, but without ever crossing that invisible border that separated reality from enchantment.
An instant of silence full of meaning lasts longer, time seems to have stopped as you let yourself be enveloped by the magic of waiting, aware of how powerful and precious that tension suspended between you can be.
You get dangerously close to the point where you can feel his nose touching yours, the desire between you vibrating in the tense air.
Lips a few millimeters apart, the imminent contact was like a promise of suspended passion, when suddenly the sound of the front door opening resonates in the air, interrupting the intimate moment.
You both tense up instinctively, your heart quickening its pace in your chest as your gazes meet in a mixture of agitation and repressed desire.
“Y/n! I am home!" You hear your father's voice coming from downstairs.
“Fuck,” you say as you pull away from Harry, but the heat of the barely touched contact still burned on his lips, while your body trembled slightly in anticipation of what might happen.
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Badge Bunny Part V
Masterlist Here!
Summary: It all comes to a head with Roy. Will Gator let the sins off his past dictate his future or will he be the better man that he knows you deserve?
18+ Only! Minors DNI!
CW: Reader is referred to as "Bunny" or "Bun". Minimal use of Y/N. Canon type violence. Gun use. Gator is wounded - no graphic detail. Mild angst. Smut! Unprotected P in V. Creampie.
WC: 8.7K
“Something's going down at the ranch. I think Roy's finally lost his goddamn mind. Feds are headed over there.” Andy rushed out, breathless as if he'd run all the way here, face a little bloodied and bruised. He was still in uniform, though it was dirty and disheveled, sans his duty belt.
“Gator?” You asked, already knowing the answer.
He nodded, gaze falling to the floor.
“He's been there all morning.”
“What's going on? And don't lie to me Andy.” Pushing your finger roughly into his chest.
“I want the full story. Not some half-truth bullshit.” Tired of sitting in the dark, you needed some answers.
You took him to the back so you could talk in private without the whole bar hearing about the sorted affair. They would all know soon enough. Small town gossip spreads like wildfire, especially if it involves the Tillman family in any way.
Roy had the entire ranch on lockdown. He'd somehow gotten wind of a traitor in his midst that was feeding information to the FBI.
Andy was an immediate suspect. After the entire incident with your kidnapping and sending those blood samples off despite Roy telling him not to, it had earned him a spot at the top of the man's shit list.
“They had me tied up in one of the sheds. If it weren't for Gator, I…” he swallowed thickly, as if he were reliving it all once again. “I don't know what Roy would have done. He showed me some tunnel on the back of the property. Helped me escape. I flagged down a car once I made it to the main road and had them bring me here.”
“Oh my God, Andy! Why didn't he come with you? What the fuck is he doing?” You groaned, swearing then and there if he made it out of this shit alive you were going to kill him.
“He told me to place a call to the feds and made me promise to make sure you stayed put. There's nothing else we can do.”
You stopped pacing back and forth looking at him with a dumbstruck expression.
“What? So, you are working with them?” Trying to wrap your head around everything that he was trying to tell you.
“No, Y/N. Gator is!”
Not even Roy could have seen it coming. Everyone pegged Gator as the Sheriff's idiot son. A fuck up so blinded by getting his father's approval that no one thought for a second he could have been the informant.
If Roy asked him to jump, he'd ask him how high but that all started to change a little over a year prior.
There was only one thing that would make him flip on the old man in a heartbeat.
You.
He'd asked you to trust him. Told you whatever happened it was for the best. Now you truly saw why. He was taking Roy down. It was his way out.
“Andy, how am I supposed to stay put when you know what Roy is capable of? If he even thinks for a second that it's Gator…” You trailed off. Taking a seat at the edge of Henry's desk to let the weight of it all sink in.
“I think he's got this. There's nothing else for Roy to do but surrender.” He tried to reassure you with a half-smile but you saw right through it.
You sighed, standing back up.
“Let me clean that cut up for you. It's the least I can do. You're a good friend to me and Gator.” You grabbed the first aid kit and went to work. It was deeper than you thought, probably needed a stitch or two but he was dead set on keeping the both of you here.
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After Gator helped Andy find the underground passage, he made his way back to the main house where he knew Roy would be waiting.
He took a deep breath before entering. Knowing his part, he has to play it cool just until the feds get there. He gave Andy strict instructions to let them know what they were going to be up against.
The kitchen was left in shambles. Roy told Karen and the girls to leave before they finished breakfast. At least he seemed to care enough to spare them from some of what he had planned that day.
From that point on it had been madness. He'd called in what was essentially his calvary. A lot of armed idiots that had no business holding a gun.
Somehow, he'd gotten word the FBI was coming to raid him. Gator was still unsure of where it actually came from, but he knew Roy had friends in high places.
He wandered down the small hall that led to the back of the house where Roy's office was, the door sitting ajar.
He didn't bother knocking, pushing it further open and taking a step forward. Roy's eyes shot up as soon as the door opened.
“Gator, what are you doing here? I told you to watch the goddamn shed with Bowman.” He hissed out.
“Yeah, uh… Andy and Bowman are both gone. Shed's empty.” His gaze fell to the floor briefly before looking back to Roy.
“Gone? Both of them?” His face flashing confusion.
“Yup. Suppose Bowman moved him? Ya’ give him the order to execute or somethin’?” He asked, trying to draw his suspicion.
“Fuck.” He gritted out between clenched teeth getting up and coming around his desk. “I didn't give any kind of order. Get your ass out there. Tell everyone to start looking for them.”
“Yeah, course.” Gator turned, making his way back down the hall and out to the porch telling the rest of the guys to start looking.
He was sure it had given Andy enough time to get to the highway. No one knew about that escape hatch except himself, Roy and the other being Bowman, who was currently unconscious and tied up in said escape tunnel.
He set about pretending to help look for the two missing men hearing the sirens in the distance, breathing a small sigh of relief. It would all be over soon.
As Roy stepped out onto the porch, pulling his hat down tight upon his head the caravan of black SUVs made their way down the highway stopping at the front gate.
He had the entrance blocked by his armed cohorts.
“Well, here we go.” He said, looking over to Gator with a sinister smirk.
“Dad,” he said, sounding more like a frightened boy than the man he was trying to be, as Roy turned back to look at him. “No one has to get hurt. Ya’ could just… just give yourself up.”
“Give myself up? You do realize you're going to prison too, right? It's not just me going down at the end of all this.” He fixed him with a glare before turning and mounting his mare. “Shut the hell up and find those two idiots.”
He nodded, biting his lip as he watched him mosey toward them, taking a leisurely pace as if he was unbothered by the entire scene. Roy seemed to see it as more of a nuisance than any kind of real threat.
He couldn't tell what was being said, so he made himself scarce trying to bide his time.
The feds already had a plan in motion. Gator told them about the hatch and tunnels that would lead them to the back of the property. It would be easy access and they could take everyone from behind while they were still occupied with the front gates. They knew once they had Roy the rest would give up without their so-called fearless leader.
Gator made his way to the back of the property, meeting about 10 men dressed in SWAT gear along with FBI Agent Joaquin.
“He's in his office, but ugh… y’guys mind if I have a word with him before ya’ barge in there?” He asked.
“I think we can spare a few minutes. I can give you head start but if bullets start flying, hit the deck.” He waved Gator off turning back toward his team ready to give their orders.
He made his way back to the house, hitting his vape trying to steel his nerves.
This time the door was shut, so he quickly rapped his knuckles against the smooth wood.
“Yeah?” Roy grunted, as Gator popped into view.
“Son, what the hell is it this time?” He was exasperated dealing with him for the day.
“I need to talk to you. Man to man.” He stated, coming to stand in front of his desk. Roy finally looked from the window to face him.
“Well, spit it out.” He hissed.
“The feds are on their way, already on the ranch. Thought it would be better to hear it from me.” Roy watched him intently but stayed silent letting him continue.
“If you had just left her alone.” He looked him dead in the eye as he spoke. “You tried to take away the one thing that matters most to me.”
Roy had gravely miscalculated just how much you'd meant to his son. He saw you as nothing more than a bump in the road assuming that Gator would eventually get bored of his new, shiny plaything.
He was losing that grip on him little by little thinking his only way to get it back was to get rid of you.
The kidnapping had gone according to plan, just like Roy intended, until it didn't. Those idiots he'd hired had gotten greedy. Threatened to let you go if they didn't get more money but before he could take matters into his own hands Gator had found you.
The FBI had reached out months prior, it was only after that stunt that he finally placed the call that set everything into motion.
“So, that's it then? Turn your own father in over what? Some fuckin' whore. I should have fuckin’ killed you a long time ago. You're nothing but a sniveling worm. I'm ashamed to even call you my son.” He was seeing red, reaching for his gun.
Gator grabbed his own, before Roy had the chance to flinch. His words had no effect on him. He'd all but given up hope of ever winning his father's affections and praise. He didn't care anymore. He had you.
“Don't.” He aimed right at Roy's chest, finger on the trigger. He never wanted it to end this way.
Shouting down the hall pulled Gator's attention for a split second, as his eyes drifted from their target giving Roy enough time to get his hand around his own pistol.
Two shots rang out as the swat team swarmed the house.
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“So, what should we do? How much longer do we just sit and wait?” You'd finally asked after thirty more agonizing minutes. You'd both made it back out to the bar, taking a booth in the corner.
Your knee was bouncing, unable to keep from chewing your nails and looking out the window every few seconds.
“He wants you to stay put. So, we'll stay put.” Taking another sip of his soda, watching you over the glass. “Don't even think about it.”
“What? I wasn't thinking about anything.” The way you glanced at your keys sitting next to you told him otherwise.
“Y/N.” He warned, with a glare.
“Fuck, fine.” You crossed your arms, continuing to look out the window with a huff. “I'm going to get a drink. You want a refill?” Asking as you got up.
You had your back toward the door when an SUV peeled into the parking lot. A woman with short, dark hair got out and made her way into the door.
“I'm looking for a Miss Y/L/N.” She announced, looking around the near desolate place as she removed her sunglasses.
You whipped around.
“Um, that's me.” Voice coming out meek. You knew she had to be FBI. You suddenly felt sick, preparing for the worst.
“I'm Agent Meyers. We need you to come with us please.” Her curt tone left no room for arguing as your eyes cut over to Andy. He got up and met you both.
“I'm Deputy Andy Tate. I'm the one that called you guys. You mind if I tag along?” He didn't want to let you out of his sight, even if they were supposed to be the good guys.
She looked him up and down before nodding.
“Sure, follow me.”
-
Agent Meyers wasn't much for small talk. She had explained you were needed but didn't go into detail. Apparently, it was a need-to-know basis, and you didn't need to know.
Your stomach was in knots as you watched the world pass by outside. Andy tried to soothe you, telling you it would all be okay, but every doubt was swirling within you.
As you pulled up to that familiar gate and picture-perfect farmhouse that was anything but, you saw they had people lined up and handcuffed on their knees against the fence.
They'd managed to round up and arrest everyone. As predicted, when they found out Roy was done, they all gave up without a fight.
There were two ambulances, one pulling off as you all pulled in the other parked directly in front of the house.
“Where is he?” You anxiously asked.
“He'll be over there.” You opened the door and shot out running before they had the chance to come to a stop.
“Hey!” Meyers yelled, but you didn't hesitate. You needed to see him. Needed to make sure he was okay, and your worst thoughts had not come to fruition; make it all tangible.
He finally came into view, sitting on a gurney at the back of the vehicle. His shirt was removed. They were bandaging up his shoulder as you shouted his name.
He turned, standing up as you slammed into his chest wrapping your arms around him as the tears began to flow.
He groaned with the impact, pain shooting through his shoulder and back, but he didn't care, wrapping his arm tight around you pulling you into him.
Roy had managed to shoot him in the left shoulder, while Gator's aim had been much more accurate. A shot straight into the gut. He'd been taken by the other ambulance for emergency surgery and then he'll be swept off straight to a federal prison halfway across the country.
“Gator… I …” You sniffed, looking up at him. “I thought…” Your hands roamed his chest, easing over his bandaged shoulder taking it all in. Cupping his cheeks, your thumb running under a slight bruise that was blooming under his eye.
He pressed your head back to his chest, kissing your temple.
“It's okay baby. I'm okay. We're okay.” His words soothing as they washed over you.
You just held each other for a few more minutes before someone cleared their throat from behind you.
“Sorry to break this little moment up but it's time to go.” Agent Meyers spoke.
Gator nodded, as you looked between the two of them.
“Bunny, look at me.” His eyes pierced yours as he spoke calmly.
“We’re going to be okay. But I have to go with them. There's a lot of shit I did, that I'm not proud of I still need to answer for.”
You knew what he meant. For all the good he did, there were still things he would have to pay for which still meant prison time.
“I'm proud of you.” You looked right into those soft, hazel eyes as you spoke. He looked so downtrodden, but you lifted his chin.
“I'm so proud of you baby!” You stood on the tips of your toes, smashing your lips to his. They were a little chapped but warm as you melted into him.
It suddenly crossed your mind this may be the last time you get to feel him for a while as his tongue grazes your bottom lip. Allowing him entry, you glide against one another so effortlessly it was easy to get lost in the moment.
You broke apart only to catch your breath. Whispered “I love yous” were spoken before he was handcuffed in front of you.
“Okay, Mr. Tillman.” Agent Meyers guided him to an SUV, sitting him in the back.
His eyes were filled with worry as they shut the door, mirroring your own. Andy sidled up beside you as they drove out of sight.
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5 Months Later
“You don't have to keep coming every week.” The way it came out let you know he was tired but so were you. Tired of him acting like you were just going to give up and leave him to rot in a prison cell.
Since he'd helped the feds, they had given him a nice plea deal with a reduced sentence of 18 months. With good behavior, he might be out in 12.
It was the best he could have hoped for with all the involvement in Roy's dealings, but Gator had given them enough to send him away for the rest of his life.
It was still going to be agonizing but you wanted to be there for him every step of the way.
“Yes, I do. Who else is going to bring you these nasty cookies you love?” You teased. Packing another overnight bag for your 8-hour trek.
“Y’gonna make me fat, if ya keep bringin’ those.” He chuckles on the other end. “But seriously, if the drives gettin' to be too much, ya’ don't have to.”
“I don't have anything else to do. I know that sounds pathetic but it's true. All I do is work, and then come home. The only thing that's getting to be too much is how quiet the house is. I miss you.” You said it earnestly, sighing into the phone sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I'm sorry Bunny, if there had been another way…” he trailed off, sighing on his end as well.
“No. Don't start that. I am so damn proud of you, Gator Tillman!”
Of course, it was all over the front pages, but they left out the part where he had been an informant. Everyone assumed the very worst about him, just like Roy. But he was your hero.
If only you could see the grin that split his face any time you told him that. The way his eyes lit up. He had sought Roy's approval for so long, it felt refreshing to hear that he'd done something right from the one person who truly loves him for him. All the fuck ups, all the short comings he saw in himself that you never judged him for. You loved him. You were proud of him.
“I love you, be safe. I'll see ya’ tomorrow.” He had his one-minute warning come through the line.
“Ok baby. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you more!”
“Not possible.” He grinned again, as the line clicked dead.
He'd been sent to FCI Sandstone, a low security facility in Minnesota. It was a little over 8 hours from Lehigh. Thankfully Roy was sent halfway across the country to a maximum security facility so neither of you would ever have to cross his path again.
In the few months that he's been away, it's been a struggle. You were left on your own again, but you could breathe a sigh of relief. The entire town felt like a weight had been lifted. No one was looking over their shoulder fearing they might be on the bad side of Roy Tillman.
Andy was appointed interim Sheriff, since half the department went down with the raid. Andy and just a few others were left to pick up the pieces and start from scratch.
He was a good man. Gator made sure that he was never implemented in anything to do with Roy or himself. He was doing a great job, weeding out the few left behind and hiring new, upstanding deputies to help run things. There was no doubt he'd be running and win the upcoming election.
-
You had your routine down, leaving out every Tuesday afternoon after your shift. Hitting up the same motel halfway there. Waking up before dawn to go the rest of the way. Spending Wednesdays with him at the prison.
They'd give you one-hour allotments of visiting time. You'd been his only visitor.
You drive through the gates, flashing your smile and waving at the guards. They knew you by name at this point.
“Hey Bill!” You greeted the guard at the entrance.
“Hey, Y/N. Must be Wednesday.” He chuckled, waving you through the X-ray. You knew the routine. Tossing everything into the bin to go through, then yourself. Pat down examination and you were off to the designated visiting area.
You'd always sit at the table closest to the window, furthest away from the guards. It was quiet. No one bothered the two of you.
You sat the cookies in front of you. The one thing you had actually taken the time to learn how to make and you'd gotten good at it. He loved them.
You were staring out the window, when the buzzer went off alerting you to the door being opened.
He walked out, hands cuffed in front of him wearing that prison issued bright orange jumpsuit you were now so accustomed to seeing. His hair was never slicked back anymore, but he kept the cut the same. Soft brown locks hung down against his forehead.
He donned that crooked smile that made your heart melt as he made his way over to you.
“Hi baby.” He sat across from you extending his hands as the guard unlatched the cuffs. He rubbed his wrists before placing his hands to the table.
“Brought your favorite.” Shaking the Tupperware in front of you, then sliding it over.
They allowed some touching in the visitor's area but not enough. You longed to push the hair from his face and kiss those lips you've missed.
He took the lid off and immediately dove in, taking a cookie and humming around the sugary taste.
“I think these get better every time, Bun.” Finishing it before looking back at you, a crumb at the edge of his lip. You reached up, and brushed it away with your thumb, lingering just a moment.
“God, I miss you.” You whispered, dropping your hand as he reached across the table intertwining his fingers with yours.
“I'm right here, and hey, if I stay off the naughty list I get conjugal visits next month.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively making you laugh and roll your eyes fondly.
“As much as I would love for you to fuck me senseless, you know that's not what I mean.”
“I know, baby.” The grip on your hand becoming a little tighter.
You fell into an easy conversation. You always told him about what was happening since he left.
“Spoke with Andy. They're expecting and he's absolutely over the moon. They're still planning on getting married, but they're going to wait until after the baby.”
You were still talking but he was hung up on that first part. He felt like a failure all over again. That could be you and him. Happy. Engaged, maybe even married. But no. He was stuck here because of all the stupid choices he had made long before he'd met you. He knew he didn't deserve you.
You stopped talking when you noticed his crestfallen appearance. Eyes glossy, and pouty lips.
“Hey, what's wrong?” You shook his hand lightly. “I know that look. Don't.”
“It's just…” he began but you cut him off. He got like this from time to time.
“I know what you're thinking. Stop, ok. We'll get our happy ending once you get out of this place.” You smiled.
A happy ending. What you truly wouldn't give. You'd both been through too much to not see this through.
“Plus, I'm moving closer. I can get another job, another place to live. We don't have to go back to Lehigh. Nothing ties us to that place.”
“Bunny,” his gaze softened. He truly didn't deserve you.
“Nope. I know what you're going to say. I've already made up my mind.”
“Fine, just make sure to clean out the house good before you do. Attic too.” You looked at him with confusion, knowing you had never stored anything up there.
He simply smirked and winked at you.
“Um… ok weirdo. If you say so.” You eyed him warily. “I…”
“Tillman, times up!” The guard shouted, interrupting you.
“I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you got in, sweet thing.” He said, winking before his hands were cuffed once more.
You watched as the guard led him away. It was always inevitable, but it didn't hurt any less each time.
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It scratched at the back of your mind on the drive home. He was so adamant about checking the attic. It was going to bug you the entire way.
This time you wouldn't stop halfway to rest. Making the drive back to Lehigh in one go, making a few gas station runs but nothing more.
You got in late that night, feeling dead on your feet as you walked into the house throwing your bag on the couch making a beeline for the hall where the access to the attic through the ceiling lay.
You reached up, straining, barely grabbing the thin string but you were able to pull it down as it fell open with a creak.
You took the rickety steps one at a time, grabbing your phone to use as a flashlight. Your head popped up looking around but not immediately seeing anything. To your right, there was a duffle bag you didn't recognize but this must be what he was alluding to.
Your hand gripped the handle, it was fairly heavy, as you brought it back down slowly, placing it on the kitchen table.
Taking a deep breath, you tugged the zipper, gasping when the contents were finally revealed.
The bag was full of cash. More than you'd ever seen at one time in your life.
What you hadn't known is that Gator found that bag when he had rescued you, immediately recognizing it because it was the same one, he had seen at Roy's a few days before it all went down.
That was his turning point. The final nail in the coffin. If Roy could do this to you, there was really nothing he wasn't capable of.
The feds had been whispering in his ear for a few months. After you had broken it off that morning, that was his first call. Even if the future with you was uncertain, he had to keep you safe and taking Roy down was his only choice.
As the initial shock wore off you noticed an envelope sitting to the side.
You tore it open immediately to find a handwritten note.
Bunny,
I figured sooner or later you'd find this before I got out. Knowing you, you're ready to high tail it out of Lehigh and I don't blame you.
Get out of Lehigh, you deserve better than this. Better than me. I never understood why you stuck around, you're too good for me.
On the off chance you still love me, there's enough to get you by until I get out, if you want to wait for me. I understand if you don't. I'm writing this knowing what lays ahead of me.
I know you're going to be pissed, but I did it for us. For our future, if you'll have me. I know I should have done it sooner, and I'm kicking myself for writing it in a letter instead.
There's a velvet box hidden in my sock drawer, if you haven't found it already. I promise I'll ask you proper once I get out. I love you Y/N, more than anything.
Love, Gator
PS- Got your necklace fixed. Missed seeing it around your neck.
Tears began to stream down your face as you clutched the letter reading it over once more before your feet started carrying you toward the bedroom you once shared with him.
You hadn't touched any of his things since he'd been gone. So, you'd never happened upon the small velvet box he was referring to.
You shoved his socks out of he way until your fingertips brushed up against it. You hesitantly pulled it into view, holding it in your hand until you sat on the bed.
You were still crying as you lifted the edges. Your necklace slipped out, catching it before it hit your lap. It had been broken during the kidnapping but with everything that had gone on since you hadn't thought about it but were now grateful to see it again.
Your eyes roved over the ring that was held within. It was simple, modest by most standards, but it was perfect. You'd never expected this from him.
It was a thin, gold band with three diamonds. A center cut with two smaller ones flanking each side. You hesitantly lifted it from the box, sliding it down your ring finger and holding it up to examine it more closely, as it caught the light and sparkled with your movement.
Finally, you clasped the thin gold chain back around your neck, holding the delicate “G” between your fingertips once more.
You knew he'd be calling around noon the next day, expecting you to have stayed at the hotel overnight. You had an idea, not letting on that you'd found everything laid out for you, instead surprising him on your next visit.
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It was bittersweet, packing up your things and getting ready to leave Lehigh. The first home you shared with someone you truly loved.
Since you'd let him know you were moving to Minnesota to be closer to him, it had been a whirlwind of emotions and planning. Your next weekly visit was tomorrow.
In a week's time you had already found a small apartment for rent not far from the prison that would be perfect until he was released so you started the packing process.
During your calls, you'd never let on about the duffle bag. He couldn't say anything, so there was no way he'd mention it over the phone which played to your advantage. Keep him waiting and wondering.
Today when you walked through the gates you were positively giddy. Not only were you surprising him, but this would be your first conjugal visit.
Unlike before, they led you to a small room in the back of the prison. It provided privacy with a small bed and seating area, a counter dividing the room in two.
You were instructed to sit. They'd bring him in.
Your knee was bouncing with anticipation at the thought of finally being able to touch him after 6 long months of waiting.
The feel of running your fingers through his hair, his arms wrapped around you in a warm embrace, vibrating at the thought.
You moved the container of cookies to the small table in front of you as the door swung open.
Gator stepped in, a wide grin splitting his face, as he walked further into the room. His eyes never left you, licking his lips as he turned his body toward the guard so they could unshackle him.
“Alright Tillman, you've got an hour. Just be dressed by the time I get back.” He nodded, “ma’am” leaving the two of you alone.
“Hey, sweet thing!” He rubbed his wrists, watching you ease up from your seat crossing the room, quickly advancing toward him, barely giving him enough time to move his hands out of the way before you pummeled into his chest throwing your arms around his waist pulling him into a bone crushing hug.
“Damn Bun! Miss me that bad?” Letting a small chuckle escape, circling his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.
“You know I miss you!” Melting further into his chest. The fabric of his worn, orange jumpsuit scratched at your face, but you just buried it deeper, breathing him.
You held each other for a few moments before finally lifting your head. As your eyes met, he moved his warm, calloused palm to your cheek before he moved in letting his lips crash to yours, nose pressing into your cheek as he tilted his head pulling you further into him.
He immediately deepened it, hungry for more. His tongue darts out, licking at your lower lip as you part your mouth for him. You hummed at the taste of him, almost making you weak in the knees and rushing a spark to your core.
You finally broke apart, panting as your foreheads came to rest together.
“It would have been a yes, you know.” You whispered. “You should have just asked a long time ago.”
His brows knit with confusion as he pulled away to look down at you, his eye catching the glint of gold around your neck immediately cluing him in to what you meant as his gaze softened, and a lopsided grin returned to his face.
“Yeah? That so?” He reached for your left hand, pulling it into view. The ring was situated on your hand perfectly. “So, you still want to be with me?”
“Of course I want to be with you! I love you, you idiot! And you absolutely are asking me properly once you get out of here!” You giggled as he lifted you excitedly, peppering kisses all over your face as you tried to squirm away from the sudden onslaught of affection.
“So, does that mean I'm fuckin' my fiancé today?” Setting your feet back on the ground.
“God, is that all you're worried about?” Rolling your eyes, slapping at his chest.
“No. But Bun, I'm dyin’ here. It's been six fuckin' months.” He suddenly pressed his hips into you, his already hard length pushing into your lower stomach.
“Sure you haven't fallen for your burly bunkmate? I know it can get really lonely in here.” You laughed, as he groaned.
“Real cute, Bunny.” He was walking you back as he spoke, suddenly lifting you up on the small counter stepping between your legs and crashing his lips to yours once more.
The kiss turned more heated as you both tilted your heads, melting into each other as you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him further into you by the collar.
He began to trail lower, kisses to your jaw to that little spot below your ear that has you releasing a breathy moan that instantly has his cock twitching between you.
“Oh fuck, I've missed those sounds.” He hissed out, helping you shed your jacket letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor reattaching his lips to you, trailing hot, open mouthed kisses down the side of your neck.
Your fingers trailed up his chest finding the zipper on the orange jumpsuit you've come to loath, slipping it down as he let you pull it from his shoulders, letting it fall open to his waist. He wore a plain white shirt underneath, fisting the material in your hands as he pulled your hips closer to the edge of the counter.
His hands drifted under the fabric of your top, sending goosebumps across your flesh, as they roamed higher. Raising your arms to let him discard it alongside your jacket.
He's quick to drift to the clasp of your bra, undoing it with ease, letting the fabric fall away from your chest as his large palms engulf your soft flesh, kneading it a little roughly only spurring that now prominent ache between your legs when his thumbs graze over your nipples causing your back to arch further into his touch.
“Oh fuck, baby!” You moan out, gripping the bottom of his shirt trying to pull it up. You were needy. It felt like a lifetime since you'd been able to give him so much affection. Feel his warmth, skin to skin, lips skimming over your soft flesh. Reacquainting with each other's bodies.
Once his shirt was discarded, his hands traced your curves sending a shiver through you.
Your eyes caught the scar on his shoulder that hadn't been there before. A harsh reminder of what he's had to go through.
He follows your eyes, as your fingertips trace over the bit of gnarled, dark flesh.
“I would take a million more as long as I knew you were safe.” Whispering between you.
“I know you would. I just wish you didn't have to. I love you.” Whispering back, moving forward to place a kiss there before placing another to his lips that quickly turned heated once again.
You pushed at the jumpsuit, he helped you discard it and toe off his shoes as you worked quickly on your jeans.
Once his attention came back to you, he helped you lift your hips and slide them down your legs. His hands were immediately back to you, roaming any of your exposed flesh he could reach.
He took a moment, pressing his lips to your forehead, hand to your jaw.
“I've missed you so fuckin’ much Bunny. I love you.” Leaning his forehead to yours, closing your eyes, feeling the warmth of his palm to your cheek.
“I've missed you too.” Whispering as he captured your lips once more, less rushed. His lips glide across yours, tongue ghosting along your bottom lip begging for entry as you parted them. Tongues moving against one another in a slow, passionate dance.
He closed the small gap, as you wrapped your legs back around him. His clothed length pressing into your core as your hips seemed to move on their own accord grinding down against him, catching your clit on the downward movement eliciting breathy moans from both of you.
His hand slips between you, finding the damp spot on your panties, pressing the pad of his thumb into the soaked fabric.
“Bunny, you're so wet. All this f’me? Fuck, I'm a lucky bastard.” He hissed out, finding the edge of your underwear pulling them to the side and letting his fingertip trace your slit before pushing at your aching entrance only breaching slightly, making your hips chase his hand for friction. He trailed up, finding your swollen clit as the pad of his thumb swiped deftly before pulling away. The band of your panties snapping back into place.
“You wanna move… this over t’the… bed?” He rushed out between pants and feverish kisses.
“Please.” You manage to get out before he's gripping your ass, hauling you up and over across the small room without his mouth ever leaving yours.
His knees find the small bed and tosses you down. The springs are a little hard and unforgiving squeaking under your weight with a small bounce that makes you giggle all the same as you lean back to stare up at him.
He's long and lean, looking a little more toned than you remember. Boxers doing nothing to hide his raging erection. His hard cock straining against the fabric, now eye level with you.
You reach up, tracing a finger down the length of him, leaving him gaping and throwing his head back.
“Fuck, I need you.” He hisses out, as you gingerly reach up pulling his boxers down his toned legs, finally releasing him. His length bobs against his abdomen, standing at full attention. Your cunt clinches at the thought of getting him inside of you. Never satiated properly for the last six months you were aching.
He didn't miss the way your thighs rubbed together as he looked down at you, as you took him in your hand, bringing your lips to his soft, ruddy tip, placing a soft kiss there before shifting your head as you ran your tongue up his entire length.
“Oh fuck, baby.” He pulled your chin up to look at him, as you smirked. “Hey sweet thing, as much as I would love to have your mouth, I need your pussy.” The end came out as almost a growl as he began to ease you back onto the bed, his fingertips grabbing at your panties as he practically ripped them from your legs as you heard an audible rip but you didn't mind as he tossed them somewhere across the room.
Crawling between your thighs, parting to accommodate him eagerly. His thick chest hair rough against your nipples, as he presses himself to you taking his length at the base, suddenly running it up your soaked folds making you moan out and arch further closing any gap between you.
“That's it baby. Need it as much as I do, huh?” He hummed, bumping your clit on the way up that made you whine as he captured your lips once more, lining himself up as his head catches your dripping hole.
Your hands grip at his back, running your fingers through the short locks at the nape of his neck pulling the strands when he pushes himself in an inch more.
The toys at home could never fill you the way he could with his thick, long cock. It began to sting as he pushed further. A moan caught in your throat, as your head hit the back of the bed, mouth going slack at the feeling.
“Goddamn, Bunny. You're so… mmmph…. Fuckin' tight.” He grits out, face turning soft once he looks up to notice your brows pinched tight.
“Hey, Bunny. Relax f'me, baby.” He coos, cradling your jaw, thumb rubbing soothingly under your bottom lip.
“I'm relaxed, you're just a lot, baby.” You finally say, opening your eyes gazing into his lust blown irises, nearly black save for the thin mossy ring around the outer edge.
“Yeah?” Lopsided grin returning. “Too much for that tight little cunt?” Not letting you answer before finally burying himself completely as your nails dig into his back with a near pornographic moan escaping your lips only spurring him on.
He slowly pulls out, feeling your walls stretch and flutter around him before quickly plunging back in, feeling impossibly deeper before rocking his hips into yours at a brutal pace.
The stretch and sting slowly subsides giving way to pleasure as he pushes in and out, a fresh wave of arousal soaking you both. You can't suppress the filthy moans falling past your lips.
“That's it baby, let them know how good I'm fuckin' MY pussy. Ya’ don't have to be quiet in here.” He continues roughly pushing his hips into yours as you gasp and writhe beneath him. The sounds of your slick as he drives into with each thrust would have you blushing, but you were too wrapped up in the feel of him to care.
The way your walls were sucking him in and pulsing around his cock, like you were made just for him, was enough to make him cum right then and there.
“Mmmph, Gator you feel so… g-good.” Managing to squeak out, the head of his cock continually massages that spot on your frontal wall with ease.
“Missed this pussy so fuckin' much. Been dreamin’ about the day I could… fuck… cum in her again.” His thrusts get more urgent, as your pussy flutters around him once more.
“Yeah, Bunny? Want my cum? Stuff you full until you can't take anymore?” You whimper at his words, that coil within you winding tighter with each in and out motion working you both toward your high.
He nips at the soft skin at your bared throat, gaining your attention.
“Huh, bunny?”
Barely able to think or speak at this point, you nod at his question knowing he wants an answer. He moves his mouth higher, taking your bottom lip between his, sucking lightly before letting it go with a slight pop. He loved you like this. Too cock drunk to speak and about to fall apart only for him.
He moves his hand between you, expertly finding your clit, as he begins rubbing circles against you working in tandem with his thrusts bringing you closer to the edge. Your back arched off the bed, crying out.
“Fuck! Don't stop!” You huffed out.
“Wouldn't dream of it, sweet thing. Need you t’cum f’me. Gonna leave you so full I'll be leaking out of ya’ for days.” Another whimper slipped out, just as that coil began to snap.
You didn't have time to warn him before your pussy clamped down around him.
“Oh fuck! There she is.” He hissed out, taking his hand from you so he could pound you into oblivion, chasing his own release while working you through yours.
Your nails dig into his shoulders, sure they were drawing blood at this point from the grip you had on him. Your orgasm hit so hard that your toes curled as sparks flew behind your eyelids.
A few more thrusts and he follows behind you, his dick throbbing and kicking up inside of your tight channel as his balls tightened, painting your walls with his spend. He continued to fuck it into you, cursing and panting before collapsing onto your chest.
“Oh fuck Bunny. Goddamn, I missed you.” It came a little muffled, his lips pressed up against you where his head lay in the crook of your neck.
“I missed you too, baby.” You hummed, as he finally pulled his softening cock from you, laying on his side, so you could be face to face kissing the tip of your nose and pulling you close.
“You're an idiot, if you thought I was going to run. We've come too far to give up now.” You whispered, with warm affection and brushing his hair softly from his forehead before leaning in for a kiss before you were so rudely interrupted with a loud knock.
“10 minutes Tillman!” The guard shouted through the door.
“Fuck.” He hissed, leaning his forehead to yours. “That went by too fast.”
“Yeah, it did.” You giggled, kissing his cheek, sitting up.
“Hey,” grasping your hand, once more looking at the ring on your hand. “I’m sorry ya’ fell in love with such a fuck up.”
“I'm not. You're a good man, Gator Tillman. You just needed a push in the right direction. No one ever thought you were a fuck up except Roy and look where he is.” You placed your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.
You finally pulled away to get up and get dressed, as he followed suit knowing your time was dwindling.
“You better grab a cookie, while you still can.” Pulling your shirt back over your head.
“Bun, I got my sugar fix.” Grabbing you from behind, pulling you back into his chest, kissing your cheek as you melted into his touch. “Just needed my sweet thing.”
The door swung open, jarring you both from a few moments of bliss.
“Thank God your dressed.” The guard sighed and laughed as you both rolled your eyes.
You faced him quickly, stealing away one more kiss.
“I'll be back next week.” Smiling softly.
“I know, baby.”
You watched him go, winking at you before he walked out the door.
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The next few weeks were a blur, seemingly going by in the blink of an eye.
You had said your goodbyes in Lehigh. Henry throwing you a small going away party for the hell of it. There were a few tears and lots of well wishes. Of course, Maggie made you promise to keep in touch.
You could have easily used the money that Gator had supplied for the next couple of months, but you didn't see a reason to waste it all. Using it more for a nest egg for the both of you.
Finding a job wasn't difficult. Every bar or diner usually had a high turnover, easily securing a waitressing job at a diner not far from your apartment.
Life went on for the next few months. Seeing Gator weekly, phone calls every other day to get you by.
As it drew closer to his incarceration hitting the one-year mark, you became anxious. The parole board would be looking at a possible early release and you had hoped the feds would put a good word in for him, but it wasn't a given.
“So, by this time next week we'll know if you're finally a free man?” Phone pressed to your ear, sitting on a wooden crate by the dumpster out behind the diner.
“Yup. Warden told me yesterday that the parlor board was already reviewing the case.” He sounded hopeful but you weren't convinced.
“That’s great baby.” Voice coming out a little weak, ready for all of this to just be over and done with.
“Cheer up, Bunny. I have a feelin’ it'll all work out.”
You hoped he was right. Never failing to believe what came out of his mouth. He had a way of sounding so sure of everything.
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The day of the hearing, you sat by the phone practically chewing your nails down to the quick. Busying yourself with whatever would distract you, but it wasn't working, as you found yourself glancing at the nearby clock every few minutes the closer it drew to noon when the hearing would begin.
You knew it may be a while before you would hear from him, but anticipation and anxiety were getting the better of you.
12:15, 12:30, 12:45
Still no word. It felt like torture, every agonizing second drawn out.
Suddenly that familiar number popped up, quickly pressing that green button with frenzied energy.
“This is a call from Sandstone Correctional Institute. To accept this call from Gator Tillman please press 1.”
You held your breath as it connected him over.
“Bunny?” His almost breathless voice came through the line.
“Hey, baby. I'm here.” You rushed out, heart pounding in your chest.
“I'm coming home.”
Home. Such a funny notion to him now.
He didn't think of the house on the ranch or even Lehigh. He only pictured you. Your kind smile that captivated him the first time he laid eyes on you. That unruly mouth that could knock him down a peg but was heaven all the same. He loved everything about you.
The only person that had ever made him feel truly loved.
He was coming home to you.
-
Processing was completed and 48 hours later you were sitting outside the prison gate, leaning against your car.
The loud buzz signaling the gate opening grabbed your attention as he strolled out. That cocky demeanor was still intact, dick first, head held high; smirking when he spotted you across the lot already running toward him.
You jumped straight into his open arms, being fully enveloped by him burying your head into his chest. It was like you could finally breathe for the first time in months.
“It's finally over?” You spoke timidly, holding tight as if he might be wrenched from your grasp.
“It's over.” A simple but all-encompassing answer; both free to live the lives you want.
“So, where to handsome?” Starting the car and looking over to him.
“Well, I thought we could make a stopover in Scandia.”
You quirked an eyebrow his way.
“Uh… My sister, Nadine, well Dot reached out to me a couple of days ago. Thought we might swing by.” He smiled and shrugged.
“You have a sister?”
“Yeah. Well, she was also my stepmom. Long story.” He chuckled.
“Gator, what the hell?” Rushing out with a look of abject horror on your face.
“Bunny, it's not what you think. I can tell you all about it on the way. She's expecting us for supper.” He leaned over, kissing your cheek.
“God, your family is more fucked up than I thought.” Pulling out of your spot and getting onto the highway.
He grasped your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.
“Yeah, but you still agreed to marry me.” He grinned.
“I haven't agreed to shit. You still have to ask.” Giving him a smirk in return but admiring the ring proudly situated on your left hand. You wouldn't trade him for the world.
You'd gone through literal hell, and you weren't about to let him go now. It didn't matter where the two of you ended up as long as you were together.
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51 notes · View notes
yesimwriting · 20 hours
Note
I love ur felix fics sm!! ur one of my fave writers on here<<333 and no I don’t think itd b crazy to write for Nate!! I’d love to see how u would write him!! (Maybe grumpy x sunshine hehe)
hi!! this is such a nice ask :)) i'm so happy you like my felix fics
omg i love ur train of thought for a nate fic!! i've been thinking about that kind of dynamic for them, but in a really niche way
anyways let's have some thoughts on nate jacobs and sunshine/kind of sheltered reader!!
----
thinking about the moment in which you find out nate jacobs is your assigned partner for a project that's worth 35% of your final grade. if this was happening to you a year ago, maybe even two or three months ago, you might have been nervous for an entirely different reason.
but you're not that version of yourself anymore. you go out to parties now; you wear shirts to school that your mom buys for you the same way she used to buy you impulse barbies, with a wink as the cashier scans them, making you promise that you won't show dad what you got at the store; you're friends with maddy and cassie...you're on your way to best friends with maddy and cassie.
so you can't dismiss the gossip and the stares nate gets in the halls as a standard part of high school, not the way you used to. you can't just see him across the hall at his locker and mentally acknowledge that you get why girls talk about him the way they do. you can't just get paired up with him for an extremely long assignment and think oh, at least he's cute.
every story maddy's ever mentioned during sleepovers, everything she's teared up about after one too many drinks hits you at full force when your teacher reads your name and then his off of her list.
would she see this as a betrayal? it's not like you picked him and asking for a new partner is out of the question, a fact your teacher made clear at the beginning of the year. but maddy's loyal...fiercely loyal, and she expects that kind of commitment to be symbiotic.
you don't move, can't move until jules leans towards you, so close her hair spills onto your desk. "no fucking way." she whispers it in a way that'd make you laugh if this was about someone else.
you're silent, eyes finally pulling away from a brightly colored poster explaining the roles of each branch of the US government. you turn your head enough to look at where nate sits, the back of the room with a few other football players.
he's already looking at you. and when nate realizes you're finally staring back, he has the audacity to let the corner of his mouth pull into a smug sort of smile you're sure another version of you would have considered swoon worthy.
you're all instructed to use the last few minutes of class time to talk to your new partners, to make some kind of preliminary plan. nate's standing up and you're still recovering from the whiplash.
helplessly, you look over at jules who's clearly trying to get to the other side of the room before nate can get to you. she mouths a "sorry" that feels genuine, and points at the girl she's supposed to work with in a way that feels like over kill. you roll your eyes, picking up your pen and pressing the pad of thumb against its side to have something to do.
nate's in front of you before you know it. he's so tall it's a little intimidating when he's right there, especially with you still sitting. "you're everywhere now." a reference to the fact that you were both at the same party last weekend. you can still hear maddy's slurred i can't believe he's fucking here, before she dragged you out to the house's patio.
he's probably seen you more places. you're around maddy pretty regularly these days and from what you've heard, you wouldn't put stalking above him. he's probably a stalker in the way guys from the news are stalkers, calm and untouchable until they feel like the girl they're watching is moving on. then they snap and some news anchor reports that there were warning signs for months beforehand.
you're partially aware of your potential exaggerations, but you can't bring yourself to care. you've never really interacted with nate, but you want to hate him as more than the monster you hear about when maddy feels like ranting. you want to viscerally hate him. it's such an instinctual tug that you can't pretend it's all about morality. you're craving innate repulsion the way an elementary school girl wants the other half of a magnetic necklace with the word "best" etched into cheap metal. it's kind of pathetic, but then again...
"not last year, or last semester--"
he's baiting you and you're completely aware and you still can't help yourself. "what? it's illegal to make new friends now?"
your tone surprises you more than the fact that you interrupted him. you've never been overly shy, but you've also never been much of a fighter on your own behalf. maybe this is like the parties and barbie-style-bought-shirts, just another facet of the improved you.
nate seems surprised too, only he wears it like there's something funny about it. "no, you've always been friendly."
he says it like there's a joke in there that'd make the football players a few rows back laugh. it digs at you more than it should. he gets under your skin in a way that bugs. maybe that means genuine hatred is on its way.
you look up at him, eyes as unimpressed as you can manage. "so," the word is definite, intentional. "the project..." you're glad for the excuse to turn your attention back to your notebook, "i don't know if you want to work out a time to--"
"i'm leaving in like five minutes." you're about to point out that class doesn't end for another when he explains, "football game." ugh. another thing you can decide to be annoyed about. your homework schedule is now going to revolve around high school football. "can i get your number?" the idea of existing in nate jacobs's phone feels so wrong you can't immediately reply. he picks up on your hesitation, because he tacks on the one phrase that could get you to do anything, "35% of our grade."
you nod once, expression as blank as you can manage as you write out your phone number on the corner of a page. You tear off the bottom corner and hand it to him. "don't save my number."
it's so rude, your jaw almost drops, "what?"
"you're going to see maddy before the project's over, right?"
the implication immediately makes your stomach knot. you're not--you can't not tell maddy. she won't like it, but she can't hold a random partnering against you. and--and it's worse if you don't tell her, because then it's like you're sneaking around with nate. and it's--it's all for school.
"i'm not going to lie to her for you." it's so ridiculous, you can't even hold eye contact. his silence adds a second loop to the knot in your stomach. "why would i lie?" your own genuineness sickens you, you're backtracking immediately. "and--and it's just a dumb school thing, so she probably won't care that much."
"and you're sure she's going to believe that?"
"yes," the word is firm because it has to be. "because that's what it is."
"she gets paranoid."
no, no--he's doing this to get into your head and cause problems. "if she's paranoid it's because you're crazy."
"fine." he shoves the scrap of paper into his pocket. "save my number, don't save my number. tell maddy, don't tell maddy."
you sigh. "why do you care?" they're broken up...even if maddy takes it the wrong way, the fall out will be a you problem.
"she's going to think i fucked you to hurt her." you hate this--the situation, the conversation, the fact that you can't completely dismiss his train of thought. "who's known maddy longer?"
you're about to try again, to defend your friendship with maddy and call him crazy again when the static of the intercom speakers interrupts you. all football players are being called out of class to leave for an away game. nate gives you one last look before turning towards the door.
when jules slips back into her seat and asks if you're okay with everything, you nod and attempt a joke about catching fuck boy germs, but it doesn't come out the way you want it to. she still laughs, so you do too, but that's not as natural as it should be, either.
----
lmk if you like this concept/want more of it!! i had fun writing this :))
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i’m interested to see how joel would react to doc getting killed!! or bitten…. i love the angst tbh! 😅 maybe during that awkward time period where they weren’t really talking but still hooking up.. they still loved eachother so much couldn’t say it because they “hated” eachother 😮
OMG Hi Bestie! 
OK so because I'm a masochist (who shares in this fun hobby of tormenting myself with images of pain with someone who shall remain nameless) I've thought about this a lot. Shared below, with permission, is some of the noodling I've done on this topic with the aforementioned anonymous person who likes to give me INCREDIBLY ANGSTY AND DEPRESSING THOUGHT EXERCISES I SWEAR THIS IS A TWO WAY STREET Y'ALL. Please note that none of this is in story format and Doc is she instead of you because that's how I think about the fic in abstract terms? I guess? I don't know lol it's a mess in my head.
ANYWAY 
Putting this below the cut because it's probably a step beyond angst. I cannot stress enough that this is like... super depressing and also COMPLETELY RAW AND UNEDITED, all I did was pull out comments/prompts from the other person out of respect for them. So please limit your judgement as much as possible this stuff is real bad lol 
Below is Joel if she got bit on the Harvard run.
how terrified he was when he thought she might be bitten, how the first place his mind went was "I can kill her and I'll only need to be around for a few seconds after she's gone"If she got bit and he needed to kill her, he'd try so hard to keep it together for her. She'd be low key panicking and be like "Please don't let me turn into one of those things, please just kill me, please" and he'd just brush her hair back and hold her face in his hand all gentle and be like "I won't baby, not gonna let you go through that, OK? I've got you, it's OK. It'll be real quick, won't feel a thing and I'll be right behind you, OK? I'm right behind you, it's OK" and he'd hold her when he did it so she didn't feel alone and he'd keep holding her when he did it to himself, too
If Doc died in the tub the night that Joel left her in the QZ 
Joel is trying to avoid herTommy goes to the clinic that day and she's not there, which he expects because she's not supposed to be there on Sundays, but hears someone say her name and how they aren't sure how they're going to cover everything without her and there's a "...I still really miss her" at the end and he's like "wtf' and so he asks until he finds someone who will actually talk to him and he's like "no, we're old friends, I just haven't seen her in a few weeks, what happened?" and Marta just kinda looks at him like "how can you not know this" and says "She died. They weren't really sure how, if she did it on purpose or if she passed out but she drowned in her bathtub" and Tommy is, of course, reeling because he loved her, too. But he's also like "Oh fuck I have to tell Joel" and he's kind of in a daze and just walks around the QZ for a few hours and he gets home and Joel is just like "the fuck is your problem" and he's like "Joel... brother, you... I need you to sit down, OK? Need you to just... stay calm for me, OK?" and he says her name and then kinda stops and Joel gets this bad feeling and is like "what" and Tommy is quiet and he's like "what, Tommy. What is it. She fuck up something else, what'd she do, what's going on" and he's just like "She's dead, Joel." and Joel is silent for a minute and then asks what happened and how and Tommy really doesn't want to tell Joel what they told him and so Joel just gets up and Tommy tries to stop him and he's like "Don't fucking touch me" and he goes to Andrew's and he pounds on the door until Andrew answers and Andrew looks like hell, he's lost weight and he looks like he's hardly slept and he looks kind of dead in the eyes until he sees Joel and then he just looks like he wants to just set him on fire and he's like "The fuck are you doing here"
and Joel is like "what happened, you have to know what happened, please, fuck, please tell me what happened to her" and Andrew shoves him and just yells "You! You happened, you fucking happened! She died that night you fucking asshole, she lived for you and she fucking died for you, too. I hope you're fucking happy" and Joel is just practically frozen there and just lets Andrew wail on him for a minute before he looks at him and goes "you must fuckin hate me, right?" "Oh I more than hate you you fucking..." "Good. Kill me. Don't... don't care how just... please, fuck just..." and Andrew just kind of laughs at him darkly and says "No, no I'm not doing you any fucking favors, Miller. I have to live with the fact that I left her alone that night. You get to live with the fact that her blood's on your hands." Jess pulls Andrew back inside and Joel just trudges home but Tommy is kind of waiting for him, he's already stashed all the guns and the knives and he got Tess because he knows what Joel is like when he loses someone like thatand Joel only asked Andrew to do it because he couldn't risk flinching again, he had to do it right this time and he goes for where he keeps his gun as soon as he's in the door and it's gone and Tommy is just crying and he's like "Joel, you can't, I'm sorry..." and he's like "Just give me the fuckin' gun, Tommy! I can't do this, not again, I can't, I can't" and he just drops to his knees and Tommy holds onto him Tommy and Tess take turns, he's literally never alone for months. Eventually they think he can be trusted on his own and he's OK for a while but I think it wouldn't take all that long before he's gone, too it wouldn't be as obvious as a gun, it'd be him making a stupid mistake and getting bit or shot or an accident on a job in the qzand all the time in between he'd be such a shell of himself, Tess and Tommy always sharing a look when it's especially bad like "this has to get better at some point, right?"and when it eventually happens, neither Tess or Tommy are ever sure if it's really an accident or not. Joel wasn't really sure either, he just knew that the last thing he thought of was that last morning before Doc flew back to New York where he got her pregnant in the water and her and Sarah made French toast
SO YEAH that's just the most depressing shit in the world lol 
LOVE YOU!!
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thecatundertheladder · 21 hours
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You know what? Fuck it. Morro is alive in my fsm lives au.
He got all the way into Fsm's tomb (which is actually just an over-the-top storage facility) before Fsm caught him.
When Morro was first taken in by Wu he was in awe. I mean it's not every day you're offered a place to stay by the son of God. But he doesn't know much about Wu or his family, nor does Wu think to tell him.
Over time, Morro works out that Wu isn't human. It's the little things at first that make him unsure of his dad's sensei's heritage. A low, draconic hiss there, a quick, barely noticeable shapeshifting mishap there. But Morro is still insecure about his place in the monastery, so he doesn't mention it. However, the truth of Wu's dragoni status comes to light when Wu serves himself a slab of raw meat for dinner, still dripping with blood. Naturally morro, who got served dumplings, freaks out.
Morro: Why are you eating that?!
Wu, confused as to why he's getting asked this: Because I'm technically a carnivore?
Morro: What!?
Wu: You know, because I'm half dragon and half oni.
Morro: No?!
So Morro finds out one "secret" about Wu and his family. And Wu even starts using his true form every now and then. Unfortunately this incident doesn't make Wu stop to think that if Morro doesn't know that Wu isn't human, then he probably doesn't know a lot of other things, such as the Very Important Fact of the First Spinjitzu Master being alive. For Morro, the Fsm's "death" is only confirmed when Wu offhandedly comments that he might of realised that Morro didn't know he wasn't human sooner, if his father wasn't almost certainly in the Departed Realm. (Wu's reasoning behind this was that Fsm tends to be in their true form more often than Wu)
When Morro runs away to prove that he's worthy of being the green ninja, he doesn't actually set out with any particular goal in mind. Rather, the idea of finding the Fsm's tomb comes about after hearing rumours about it in a few of the villages he passed through. In one of them, he even overhears two men talking about how allegedly "not even the First Spinjitzu Master's son's know where the tomb is" (Garmadon and Wu actually don't know where the storage facility is located, as the only time they've ever been there the Fsm teleported them straight into it and straight back out again). It's this comment that gives Morro the idea: if he can find the tomb, something that Wu himself has failed to do, Wu will have to make him the green ninja! And so Morro sets out to find The Tomb of The First Spinjitzu Master.
Meanwhile Wu is having a crisis trying to remember if running away for months at a time was normal human behaviour. Because his draconic instincts are seeing this as normal (I hc dragons to have very large territories that they let their hatchlings run amok in) but his oni instincts are screaming at him to find his pup student. And of course Morro is human, so he's not sure what he should be doing. In the end, however, Wu will always be more dragon than oni, so his draconic instincts win out and he settles down to wait for the return of his hatchling student (though if he needs an few calming teas a day and stops nearly all communication with the outside world that's nobody else's business).
Morro actually does achieve what so few have before, and finds the tomb after months of searching. He then proceeds to one up everyone else and get inside, even without the clues, doing this by using his power over the wind and knowledge of spinjitzu. Morro then decides to do what any teenager in the tomb of God would, and starts to explore. But the cave system that it's in is complex and dangerous for mortals, so Morro quickly gets lost.
Fsm, meanwhile, had come to their storage facility to do some much needed organisation (listen, there is thousands of years worth of stuff in there. Fsm is half dragon and has the hoarding skills to prove it). While they're moving through the caves sorting random items they hear a disturbance a few tunnels over (dragoni hearing for the win!) and go to investigate. It's there that he finds Morro on the verge of a breakdown.
Morro, who was not expecting anyone else to be in the tomb nearly has a heart attack, because there is a massive being with wings and sharp horns and talons staring down at him. He panics and gets ready to fight. But the more he observes the being in the cave with him, the more familiar it seems. After a few seconds, it clicks, the being looks like Wu. And if the being looks like Wu, and it's not Garmadon, then there's really only one person it could be. But that's impossible, isn't it? But all the same, Morro relaxes a bit.
Morro: You're the First Spinjitzu Master
Fsm, wondering why there is a small child in his storage facility: I am, yes.
Morro: But you're dead! We're in your tomb!?
Fsm, now wondering why this small child has traces of their son's scent on him: This is a storage facility. And I'm not dead, who told you that?
Morro: Well - I mean - Wu said you were most likely in the Departed Realm!
Fsm: And I was, but I can leave it at any time. I'm a god afterall. Anyway, how do you know my son?
Morro: Wu took me in and trained me, and he lied to me and told me I was destined to become the green ninja. But I've found your tomb, surely that makes me worthy. You can make me the green ninja!
Fsm: Of course you are not the green ninja. It's not about how worthy one is. It's the fact that you are mortal, you simply wouldn't survive carrying the power of the green ninja. Besides, if it makes you feel better, you can already do something I cannot. You can control wind, something that no one since Wojira herself has been able to do. I assume that's why Wu thought you might the green ninja. I do apologise, it's my fault he's not the best at communication.
Fsm: You should return to the monastery. Wu is worried. He sees you as his son, you know, he will be happy that you are safe.
Morro: How can you know that when you didn't even know who I was.
Fsm: Omniscience is something I can chose whether to use or not. Now, I believe it is time for you to leave. Come, I will lead out of the caves.
So Morro and the First Spinjitzu Master leave the cave system. Morro has had his ego boosted since he can do something the First Spinjitzu Master can't, and is less angry about being not the green ninja. He's still angry at Wu, of course, but he misses him all the same. Besides, this way he can yell at Wu in person again.
Morro doesn't go back immediately though, instead he takes a few months to gather his thoughts. As he travels through the villages and cities of Ninjago he occasionally helps people out, and starts to get a sense of what being a ninja is all about. So by the time he actually reaches the monastery he's mostly cooled off, as well as lost some of his arrogance. However, he does still have a speech to give Wu that involves several apologies about how he acted, along with an section that explains the pressure that Morro felt Wu put him under.
He doesn't get a chance to actually say the speech until a few days after he returns home though, as the moment Morro steps through the gates he is greeted by his touch starved dragoni sensei parent, who immediately whisks him away for cuddles. And Morro, equally touched starved, simply can't bring himself to stop it.
Fsm, on the other hand, is absolutely thrilled that they now have a grandson to dote on.
(Thanks to @coolprofessorbagelwinner for the little tidbit at the end)
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millenniummmbop · 2 years
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rivalshipping is about healing to me but like in a “well-meaning yet still ill-advised codependency” way
#*pulls down projection screen and extends my collapsible pointer stick thing*#Yugi was a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who went too far w the whole revenge fantasy thing#until The Power Of Friendship TM mellowed him out and he finally landed in a more emotionally stable state#*clicks to next slide*#meanwhile kaiba over here is ALSO a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who ALSO went too far w his own fucked up revenge fantasy#*quickly shuffles through slides of Death-T*#but two mind-shattering comas later and yugi at the very least was willing to bury the hatchet and try to start over again#the whole 'kaiba vs peg sus' fiasco was where everyone finds out kaiba's motives up to that point and where it all finally clicks for yugi#*clicks to next slide to reveal the 'he just like me fr' meme but it's yugi crying on the balcony inside peggy's castle*#it's after this that yugi starts thinking 'Well friendship fixed ME so maybe it can fix HIM too'#*clicks next slide and hits play on the embedded video*#Yugi: good morning kaiba-kun! nice weather we're having today huh?#Kaiba: I'm going to beat u in the face and in the ass#Yugi: haha alright bud I'll see u at regionals tomorrow#Yugi said so himself that he wanted 'friends he could count on and who could count on him' (paraphrasing)#i think he saw this mess of a human being recklessly barreling towards the edge at 100 miles an hour and said#'yeah this looks like something i can personally fix'#bc he's the type of person to just selflessly shoulder a mountain of burdens if it means helping someone he cares about#like his heart is definitely in the right place but i don't think he realizes that kaiba also needs like#therapy and mood stabilizers or some shit#*a voice rings out from the back of the class*#'op they had like 10 minutes of conversation MAX over the entirety of duelist kingdom this is literally all in ur head*#no no the groundwork is there for all of this i PROMISE#lion king rafiki voice: look harder#like yes i'm delusional but i'm also RIGHT#(⓿_⓿)#ignore me
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pondscummy · 14 days
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so me and roommate L talked on Sunday and I finally like aired some of my grievances and was like hey you really hurt me w how you treated me during my recovery and I realized I actually really don't feel like I can safely communicate with you and I haven't felt like I could for a very long time. and they did apologize and we decided to just be polite roommates and not friends at all and that's a big relief honestly bc now I'm not carrying around this tension the way I was before bc I know there's not expectation from either side but like. it's also freed me up mentally where I'm not thinking about all the immediate stuff anymore and instead I'm like remembering various random things that pissed me off but weren't big enough to focus on before lmao
the one I'm stuck on rn is how insistent they are that I'm on the spectrum. idk they do a lot of explaining myself to me that makes me like. bro shut Up you don't know what my lived experience is like lol you have no concept of anything. which. for context I have a dx and I thought I was on the spectrum for years and years but weirdly enough going to therapy and working through my ptsd made a lot of those symptoms just.... start vanishing. and one of my friends had been undiagnosed for the same reason so it got me thinking about it and talking to my therapist at the time and like. ptsd can present rly similarly. like I was neglected and abused as a child and I literally did not learn social skills, and I was very fearful of other people. as I like worked through the stuff that had instilled that in me and found my stride w stepping out of my comfort zone and getting comfortable being uncomfortable I really don't find it particularly hard to talk to people. I retook the RAADS and I got that I have tendencies but am not anywhere near diagnostic level. I'm literally moving states bc I find the idea of being in a new place and starting from scratch socially rly exciting and I want to like go out to events on my own and meet people both through apps and more organically and I want to get to be in the office with my coworkers like. obv there's more to a dx than just social anxiety but the things that my dx was primarily based in (social anxiety, need for stability/routine, aversion to connection, even sensory issues) are so easily linked back to trauma for me and like. being on the spectrum doesn't go away w therapy?? also I've found it harder and harder to befriend other people on the spectrum; I find I have less in common as time goes on and that my communication style is more focused on like small talk and less directness etc. and I don't tend to get special interests at all anymore like I find it a little difficult to discuss interests w people for long periods of time.
anyway idk my experiences just make me think that it was an incorrect dx but a rly understandable one. I'll probably always have tendencies and get along pretty well w others who do or who are on the spectrum but like I just don't think that I am. and whenever I tried to talk about this with them they'd shut it down and be like um I'm pretty sure you are lmao. and when we talked Sunday I made a comment about making some assumptions about their facial expressions at one point and they were like well we're both on the spectrum so. and I was like my guy I can read facial expressions just fine. if you're saying I can't read yours accurately bc You're on the spectrum then fine. sure. I actually think it's bc you're always so fucking stoned that every muscle in your face is dangling from the frame, personally, but like. i don't have this probably of misreading anyone else dude. like ffs stop armchair diagnosing me and acting like bc you said it then it's law. UGHHHHHHHHHGGGHHHH. it would be one thing if I thought they were saying this stuff bc they think I'm distancing myself out of internalized ableism or something. but it really seems more like they bring it up only to tell me how bad I am at things. which like I'm sorry lmao but. if I'm not giving this vibe to anyone else and I'm not displaying symptoms predominantly in my day to day life and if they're rly seeming to be correlated to my ptsd, maybe you're literally just triggering for me to be around. asshat
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infizero · 6 months
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literally never felt more personally connected to a character than lake infinity train they make me ill
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cinna-bunnie · 10 months
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worst part of picking up a new physical craft is not knowing what the FUCK the names are of some of the pieces and where u can get them
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vitiateoriginator · 8 months
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I'm finally taking a fucking vacation from my job next week
#I've never gotten the chance to use my vacation time at work before quitting#but Im not currently able to leave where I work and I'll lose my PTO on my anniversary date (sept 13th)#so I decided to say fuck it an use ut the first week of September#wish I could have saved it for the second week since my birthday is September 15th but again my PTO gets reset the 13th#so this will have to do#I'm not going on an actual vacation this year. just planning various enjoyable activities and day trips throughout the week#Im hoping on the first day to attend a local flea market#and the next day or two to go swimming before the pool in my apartment complex closes for the year#I also plan to visit a historical town thats about a half hour away from where I live#and I'm definitely going to sleep in a lot of these days cause I need to catch up on some sleep finally#I'll probably draw on my less busy days#and maybe I can knock out a chapter or 2 of the story I've been writing#tbh luck is never with me so the chances of me actually getting to do half of this stuff is slim#but at least I can say I have plans#I'm gonna try n do this stuff even if I have to go alone#I hate waiting around for others so I can go out and have a good time#like yeah some of these activities are better with other people#but people often find excuses to get out of hanging out or going places. or they're busy with work#and I don't want to waste the 7 days Im gonna have off so Im gonna try n do something meaningful during them#the weather also will effect how my plans turn out. I bet it'll rain the entire week lol. that'd be my luck#but Im still gonna try and have a decent time off#at the absolute least I am going to relax and unwind. thats the bare minimum I can doo#sam's rants about life
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