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#so maybe i'll revisit this later lol
infriga · 4 months
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I watched a video talking about Returnal and the story, and it got me theorizing again about the story and what it meant because watching someone else summarize the elements and posit their own theory of what happened got my mind churning and cleared a few things up that I was previously unsure about regarding certain aspects of the plot
I could write a lot about how I think the death loop in part represents the cycle of generational trauma and neglect, but this is already going to be long and that part is a bit more obvious in the game anyway so I'll spare you that stuff (for now at least lol).
Anyway, to the meat of it: I like to think that in the secret ending the one who escapes the car and rises to the surface is supposed to be Helios, escaping the cycle of trauma, abandonment, and neglect, because Selene is finally able to confront her own issues and memories and come to terms with being a mother for Helios's sake. It looks like Selene is the one swimming to the surface based on the jacket sleeves, but she says Helios's name as she surfaces, and throughout the story it's implied that the roles of mother and child are interchangeable in the flashbacks and house sequences since it's a cycle that Selene is repeating from her past. Selene is both the mother and the child in this story, and thus symbolically she is also both Theia and Helios. In saving and freeing Helios from the cycle she in turn saves and frees herself. There's even a xenoglyph, the second to last in the game, that says "Helios lies shattered and I must put him back together."
In the secret ending we see that Selene is the one in the astronaut suit which causes the accident. There are 3 test xenoglyphs in the game, the first, tenth, and thousandth tests, which refer to Selene's story alone from the beginning at any translation stage rather than the Sentients, and are much more abstract and fragmented even when fully translated with each segment being accompanied by a question mark. I think the name of these xenoglyphs is referring to how the crash is in a sense a "test" for Selene as a mother.
The final test xenoglyph says "stand turn and flinch? The triggering event?" presumably referring to how Selene as the astronaut triggers the accident, but I think it also refers to how the original accident with her mother when she was a child was in her eyes the triggering event that resulted in her relationship with her mother worsening. The first test xenoglyph also refers to returning to the house (which I think represents her memories) as a "final visitation", while the second glyph refers to witnessing the memory as a "final unbrooked retribution" and the astronaut as a "warning to end the return". They also mention a death without purity behind a broken sun (Helios is likely the "broken sun"), as well as the astronaut dying for the first time, and claims that remembrance of an accident is seeking absolution from the white shadow. So remembrance is both retribution and absolution, as well as a final visitation, and the astronaut dies for the first time behind a broken sun. The astronaut is also a warning to end the return.
My theory: there were two accidents. One where Theia is driving and crashes with Selene but both survive with Theia being permanently disabled while Selene is uninjured, and one where Selene crashes while driving with Helios. It's possible that Selene caused both crashes, the first time by distracting her mother unintentionally, the second time by not paying enough attention to the road and then swerving to avoid a sudden obstacle causing her to drive off the bridge into the river. During the second accident Selene considers abandoning Helios to save herself and escape motherhood which she feels trapped by. In that moment Selene is forced to confront her memories of the original accident which lead to the toxic relationship with her mother which see sees as abandonment as a result of her mother's resentment towards her for living the life Theia wanted by becoming an astronaut. Theia may even have expressed the wish that Selene had died in the crash, or never been born at all, at some point. These memories are painful to address and always have been, but they put into perspective her own treatment and feelings towards Helios and how she's doing to her own child what was once done to her. It serves as a warning of what will happen if she holds on to her own resentment and repeats that toxic cycle of neglect and abandonment, and in confronting that part of herself and her own past she seeks absolution for the ways she's already neglected Helios due to her own hangups and regrets.
The result is Selene undergoing an ego death and subsequent rebirth, letting go of her resentment towards her own mother, her child, and herself, allowing her to save Helios, and thus herself, so they can both escape the sunken car and reach the surface. This ends the "return", ends the loop, ends the cycle, and prevents the destruction of Helios.
The start of the game and each loop where you abandon the ship represents both Theia's abandonment and neglect of Selene following the first crash as well as Selene's neglect and intent to abandon Helios and save herself after the second crash, which culminates in the end of act 1 where she believes she escapes the planet and views the loss of Helios as the price for escape from the trappings of motherhood she feels bound by, which are largely coloured by her feelings towards her own mother. But in the end her thoughts would always return to that moment, she would never forget abandoning Helios and would forever be tormented by those memories alongside her memories of Theia as retribution for what she did, for continuing the cycle of neglect. She will always return to the crash no matter how much time passes. Even if sometimes for a while she's able to leave it behind and convince herself that she's free and happy, in the end she will never escape that moment and will always remember it in an endless loop of madness and suffering, and Helios would continue to lay broken, abandoned and decaying. So she returns to the crash site, both physically and mentally. She falls further into the void of the Abyss, dives deeper into the water, returning to the sunken car at the bottom of the river and seeks absolution through ego death by defeating the creator/destroyer, which represents herself as a reflection of her own mother, and removes the final barrier preventing her from going back for her child. She's no longer abandoning Helios but instead fighting to save Helios. Selene's history and relationship with her mother, represented by the astronaut, is the warning sign for what she's been doing, and what could happen to Helios if she continued, hence why it grants a second chance at life and thus a second chance at preventing the return: it's a wakeup call. And like how the first crash is the triggering event for the deterioration of her relationship with her mother, the second crash is the triggering event for Selene to wake up and change her ways in order to prevent a repeat of the past and end the cycle. Only then does she finally stop abandoning Helios.
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friendshipgun · 8 months
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🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.
ooooh gosh this is like giving me a blank check lol. it's also a bit hard bc so much is gonna be spoilers so what i'm gonna do is bend the rules a bit and hit the stuff for both Karl and Ethan that's not spoilers (two blorbos for the price of one):
>> Ethan was on the swim team in school! This particular headcanon brought to you by a comment from the playthrough of RE8 i first watched about the way Ethan moves to protect his body when Heisenberg knocks him into the water. dude also (bc video game) doesn't struggle with water in general, so that translated to him being comfortable with it and even really enjoying swimming.
>> Karl learned English from watching old movies (i think this is a fairly common headcanon but i still really like it!) but i also like to think about him being, after a certain period in time, unwilling to actually ask for anything directly so is limited to using his powers to basically spy on whatever Moreau is watching. which means being limited to Moreau's taste in film. and i like to think about Moreau getting really into Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks romcoms and then trying to watch Forrest Gump but getting too sad and never finishing it so Karl's just forever like "how tf does it end." ongoing joke with my beta that it comes on TV at a few of the motels him and Ethan end up at but he still manages to always miss the end and he's just like extremely >:( about this one movie in particular.
>> [minor spoiler for most recent chapter of 'sunshine', so feel free to skip this one] Ethan restored the car he drove in RE7 himself. i like thinking about him having worked so hard on this damn car, being super proud of it...which makes it worse that it explodes in Jack's garage rip.
>> due to the cadou/mutation Karl has heightened senses. the one i write about the most is his sight; just like the idea of him wearing the sunglasses bc he has light sensitivity (He Wears His Sunglasses At Night, etc.) so incredibly good night vision but struggles during the day/in brightly lit rooms. also just as a slight addendum: Karl runs hot for the same reason, cadou/mutation.
>> no one on this earth is better at compartmentalizing than Ethan Winters
>> was trying to figure out what Karl would have been eating for all the years he lived in the village bc there's no way in hell he was tending a garden or cooking for himself and i determined that it had to be largely expired MREs he found at the factory (i've been going with the idea of the factory being used to make military equipment, thus the tank and the blank dogtag Karl wears) but i also joke with @underlockv about him just eating rats. this is what i was thinking about when he says he's "eaten far worse things" in ch8 of 'sunshine' lmfao.
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hatt0riart · 9 months
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I WANTED TO MAKE MORE THAN JUST THIS but it took like. a week to get done and im sick these days
anyways in light of mk1's nonsense i revisited some koncepts i had for a roleswap au. i took hanzo's inspiration from a mix of mkx and mk11 outfits and kuai i kind of just winged it based off my own preferences in past appearances!!
more rambling is under the cut about the actual AU :-]
PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY ART ON ANY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA OR CROP THEM FOR ICONS. THANK YOU!
SO I HAVE NOT ACTUALLY DEVELOPED THIS BEYOND SOME OLD SKETCHES I HAD OF KUAI'S DESIGN but i had some general ideas of how this was supposed to work???
the shirai ryu is still alive and well! he's still a family man and very clan oriented. satoshi is still born and grows into his clan's responsibilities, however harumi dies in child birth.
the lin kuei on the other hand is Not Doing Well. they end up getting wiped out during a raid from the shirai ryu and most of kuai's immediate family (whether by choice or blood) ends up going down with them.
prior to this kuai ends up passing after a failed mission to retrieve the map of elements from the shaolin temple in an attempt to prove himself to his clan. (instead of bi-han being the one set on that path, kuai ends up taking the initiative instead WAY before he's ready without anyone's knowledge and ends up dying when met with scorpion.)
most of it is similar how it is in actual canon for how scorpion's story goes. he gets resurrected he pledges loyalty to quan chi in order to get revenge, blah blah blah. mortal kombat happens. the two meet again at some point.
kuai's still on that "you killed my family" juice but its...more so about familial ties (like bi-han and smoke) rather than it being the love(s) of his life (like hanzo's wife and son) , seeing as he died young from his own overzealous nature.
very much has anger issues. he's impatient and has alot shorter of a temper by comparison to scorpion in the original canon. hardly ever humbled until that point lol
hanzo on the other hand is surprisingly more lax. meditates often, drinks alot of tea and while he *IS* stressed he handles it alot better than kuai does. maybe has a problem of ignoring his problems though for the sake of the task at hand.
kuai ends up harassing hanzo alot in this AU even outside of the tournament. he's kind of a bitchy ghost there to remind hanzo of what happened to him and lowkey hanzo guilts over it.
kuai has alot of grim reaper motifs in his design. he carries a scythe made of ice primarily and fights at a more long distance range.
hanzo on the other hand is alot more of an up close brawler. he keeps alot of design traits from mkx with a bit of mk11 sprinkled in for inspiration of his "classic" design.
STILL A PYROMANCER!! i just havent thought out how. he's just regarded with a bit more respect for having those unnatural abilities lol
but yeah this is just me spitballing in bullet points. i'm hoping to make more stuff later that is a bit more...thought out properly but it follows more of like
mk mythologies --> mk9 -> mkx
type of timeline i guess? except hanzo is in bi-han's position and kuai ends up being put in scorpion's. bi-han doesn't really have a place in the AU outside of being a background character and driving motive for kuai's vengeance later on. (though we're not gonna talk about how bi-han's mentality eventually fed into kuai's at a young age and made him come to the conclusions he did before he died.... maybe.)
smoke exists for the sake of painful flashbacks lol
satoshi's also a bg character but he does end up growing up with the shirai ryu and takes on his own share of clan responsibilities. idk whether or not he takes after hanzo's pyromancy or not in this AU but either way he grows up to be a well respected figure in the clan!
alot of stuff outside of this remains the same though, just the lin kuei and shirai ryu's dynamics get swapped.
ANYWAYS YEAH IF YOU READ THRU ALL THIS THANKS FOR READING BYEEEE (i'll be adding to this au more later on when i finish my other sketches lol)
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ebonysplendor · 26 days
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I'm Sorry WHAT? 👁️👁️ (Small Flex and Perfect Love Follow Up...?)
Not gonna lie, this isn't a review, this is just to flex and, quite frankly, somewhat of a follow up to my Perfect Love Review but anyways!
Allow me to fucking flex for a second because I'm sorry WHAAAAT?
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Wait, but it gets better because, do y'all see the first part?
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Are you telling me this dev -- not just this dev, but the dev that made the masterpiece that was Perfect Love -- not only knows that I exist, but they follow me and has been following me??????? Even still, if they don't follow me and have just been revisiting my page every now and then, are you telling me that they knew I existed BEFORE that review???? And they like -- no, LOVE? -- the way that I write my reviews?!
I'm sorry, and I mean this in the most humble way, please, allow me to just...
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I'm lightheaded. This is too much serotonin. What an experience to add to all my other happy memories.
For the sake of my health, I'll scream more about that later, but the part I'm more concerned about is this
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Wait what...?
I'm gonna be real with y'all, I totally forgot that there was another ending until I revisited the game page -- which I didn't forget about the project I assigned. It was due last week, but I'll extend it to today, so get on that and download it and damned play it -- that I remembered "Oh yeah! The secret ending!" but this ain't about that! Find it on your own! I ain't spoiling that for you! What this is about, however, is not being conceited and inserting a name that wasn't my own, so if you'll excuse me and allow me to do that.
*Puts in THE name* I'm sorry, what????? *Goes back puts the OTHERS' -- yes!, otherS, with an 's'! -- names* I'm sorry, WHAT???? *Makes Milo's nicknames THE nicknames** I'M SORRY WHAAAAAAAT?????
Y'all...it gets deeper. There's more. There's certain dialogues that gets unlocked. I am floored.
In conclusion, and as a follow up no one asked for: this is the only visual novel that matters now. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
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Now, I'm off to write about another visual novel to recommend everyone lol, and, who knows, maybe I'll find a new favorite to rant and rave to you all about. Hopefully, you'll stick around for it!
This isn't a review, but still, drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around! Until next time~!
P.S. Just some reassurance to the dev: I was absolutely not disappointed with the Milos, and Eris do be overdramatic, but the way they're written is so beautifully toxic. I gotta give them props, though: They knew what they want, and they were kinda boss for going after it and not settling. Lil psycho about it, sure, but still pretty boss. Good for them...even if it cost them an arm and a leg. Haaaaa, get it? I mean...not the arm, but...the joke still works, right? ^^;
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getmean · 3 months
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it's time for my end of year book round up!! my goal was to read 30 books again, and i read 32 this year! some hits, some misses, lots of nostalgia reading: i collected them all under the cut, plus a few sentences on how i liked them (or not) :~) they're in order of my reading them, no ratings!
werner herzog // the twilight world
THIS was highly anticipated for me and i got it for christmas so it was my first read of the year. slim little book. relied heavily upon you already knowing the story of hiroo onoda, which i was familiar with but maybe less so than i thought? certain parts were a bit obscure, but ultimately i liked the atmosphere and i liked specifically how herzog told this story!
david sedaris // santaland diaries
the previous year a close friend of mine who is a huge sedaris fan gave me 'the best of me' which i really enjoyed, so i decided to give some of his other writing a shot. this book mostly details the period of time in which he spent working as a christmas elf at some santa's grotto type situation in new york... it was funny but (and i found this with a sedaris book later in the year too) the best essays from it i'd already read in his collection last year, so it was just okay lol.
terry pratchett // the reaper man
i grew up reading terry pratchett but haven't read many of them beyond my favourites (mort, equal rites, monstrous regiment) in years, but this year i've been on a quest to track down the particular paperback versions from the 90s that i remember from when i was a kid -- so i've been revisiting them as i find them. i don't have much to say: they really hold up, as i expected them to!
ottessa moshfegh // lapvona
this is actually the biggest disappointment of my year, i'm getting mad about it all over again just reflecting on it. i remember seeing this book in a store while it was still in hardback and loving the title, loving the cover art, but found myself unwilling to drop £20 on a moshfegh book (i find her writing very hit or miss for me). finally borrowed it from the library and then proceeded to spend the next like, month, tormented by it because it was just so BAD. the weird gross-out shock writing (and i am a chuck palahniuk fan!! his strongest soldier!!). the unpleasant depictions of disabled bodies. bad plot, bad characterisation, bad ending. the positive reviews of it were really surprising to me, because if you are able to put aside the really distasteful way she writes about fat, disabled, or old bodies, it's still just like, a boring book, no matter how much like... shit and rape and vomit and toilet humour she puts into it. my god. this thing sucked!!!
steven sherrill // the minotaur takes a cigarette break
this was a re-read, i feel like i've talked enough about this book over the past couple years and i will NOT bore you by repeating myself. but ugh i love this thing. i love the minotaur! his loneliness, his disconnect, his envy and his missteps and way he just can't stop fucking things up for himself. book of all time possibly
louis l'amour // the first fast draw
i have a rapidly growing collection of cowboy pulp that i've decided i actually have to read before growing it any further. the truth is i just like having them. they are like beloved trinkets to me: their art, their design, the thin stained paper and their smell of cigarettes!!! the stories themselves are fine: they tend to follow the same beats, some stand out more than others. i especially like louis l'amour because he lingers in sunsets and sunrises as i like to do myself lol. i enjoyed this one well enough, though i have to admit that i read them mostly out of interest for the western genre as a whole, and because they are also so lovely to have. a pulp western in a tote? say no more.
maggie stiefvater // the raven cycle (four book series)
can't really speak for this. actually, yes i can. i have so much to say about this series, but i'll keep it short. i have read these books before but never read the 4th one: maybe this is why i was so shocked at how everything set up in the first three books becomes completely meaningless by the series end. like it's absurd. it's also the first time i've read something where you can tell the author understands with complete clarity everything that they're writing, from plot to character motivation to world building, but has no ability to communicate that information to a reader?? do you know what i mean?? raven cycle heads speak up. so many dropped plot threads. like a staggering amount of them. CRAZY rushed climaxes. how does each book wrap up in a matter of a page and a half? contender as well for worst series ending of all time -- genuinely i am in awe at it like, i can't even be mad about it BECAUSE despite all this.... i enjoyed these books. i think maggie stiefvater has a real skill with creating characters that you end up caring about so much that it doesn't really matter that the plot is overcomplicated and doesn't deliver what it promises. ronan lynch, character of all time. i read all these books in under a week and drove myself completely insane.
kathryn scanlan // kick the latch
this was the perfect post-raven cycle palate cleanser. this is also the best book of the year for me, no contest. if you have not read this book please go find a copy!!!!! i've been thinking about it at least a couple times a week since i read it, all the way back in may. it's based on transcribed interviews with a horse trainer who worked the racing circuit: compromised of these incredible, gut punch little chapters revolving around horses, the lifestyle, the culture, the track. honest and ruthless and told with complete economy of language, almost flash fiction-like in how each chapter comprises a whole world and a single moment all at once. you must give this book a shot!!
eliot duncan // ponyboy
novel about addiction, transition, love and rehab. the premise hooked me but i ultimately didn't really like the voice/the prose. this is just my taste but it came across too pretentious! i also don't particularly like autofiction lol it's an ick for me. anyway. the parts about addiction were good, and the final section in which the narrator enters rehab was too -- i think because they felt more honest than a lot of what else goes on here.
paul stewart & chris riddell // the twig saga (three book series)
as i said... 2023 has been the year of nostalgia reading. these books were my entire world as a child/teenager!! like there are a few books/series from that period that i can point to and say 'this is what made me want to be a writer' and the edge chronicles are definitely one of them. i really enjoyed revisiting the twig saga, which was the first i read as a kid -- they hold up really well, even reading them now as an adult. the worldbuilding is so rich and textural and intricate, the characters and their storylines so complex and intriguing!! i spent a lot of time reading some poorly plotted books leading up to this, and so it felt so good to read just some really clear, FUN stories! will be returning to the quint+rook sagas next year i think :~)
alice winn // in memoriam
i think somebody here on tumblr recommended me this, with emphasis on the gay romance. and i just have to say: You Misled Me. okay not really, there IS a gay romance in this book but i just came away from this completely like, shook to my core over WWI. walking around town looking at people and thinking like, does everyone KNOW how bad it was?? the answer: probably not. i thought i did, but i was wrong! alice winn is a masterful writer honestly and truly: the way she writes war in this book is so brutal, so visceral, so unforgiving!! i don't know if i can say i enjoyed reading this but i definitely couldn't put it down, it's so gripping. i think i read it in a day??? crazy book. i still find myself exclaiming over how bad WWI was months after reading it lol. also yes there are gay people there.
ottessa moshfegh // mcglue
this was fine. i feel like i have this parasocial relationship with moshfegh where i can't stop reading her writing even though i know i'm probably not going to enjoy it? but this debut is short, decidedly unsweet, kind of compelling in a very grimy, confusing way. to my knowledge (it really is very obscure) it's about a sailor awaiting trial over having killed his friend -- or maybe not. he's suffered a brain injury at some point in the past and is an alcoholic, both of which muddle things greatly. but it's only about 160 pages, a good lunchtime read (though maybe when you're not eating).
lucie elven // the weak spot
my flatmate works at a bookstore and gets a lot of strange little books that i don't think i'd ever pick up and read myself, and this was one of them. a woman moves to some small european mountain town to become a pharmacist, where she finds she gets embroiled in the lives/politics of the village at large. this was another one where the plot was a little obscure/meandering -- i guess i kept waiting for it to show up, which was my mistake, as it never did. it didn't make a huge impact on me but i did enjoy reading it. huge vibes over plot type book. lots of wandering around Thinking.
john steinbeck // tortilla flat
i love steinbeck and i've had this particular book knocking around for years waiting for me to read it. it's like, a very grubby old penguin classics edition that i simply love to look at and carry around (much like my western pulps lol). but enough about the physicality. not sure how much i enjoyed this story -- sometimes i find myself torn when it comes to reading authors that i generally enjoy a lot, because i love steinbeck's style and his characters and how he understands both the world and people but this one in particular didn't do it for me as much as some of this other books do! oh well!
david sedaris // me talk pretty one day
i think there is a limit to how much david sedaris one person should read in a year. like i'm serious. because the first time it feels fun and new and wry and witty. but as it goes on you're like oh man... this is getting a bit tedious now huh. but i picked this up in a local charity shop for a couple quid so i can't be too mad about it. as i said before, i did fuck things up by reading all his best essays first lol. time to take a little sedaris break!
missouri williams // the doloriad
every time i'm in a bookshop i pick up this book and read the blurb and the first page because the cover and the title are just so good. but every time i put it back down because it just rubs me the wrong way. i finally downloaded the ebook for free just to like, put my curiosity to bed -- i knew i wasn't gonna like it, but i needed to read it. and i was right! it's about an incestuous family living in this small community after some apocalyptic scenario has turned the place into a wasteland. as far as they know they're the only survivors. their mother is the matriarch and they spend all day like, i don't know. running around in the mud fucking each other. it's just no good. it reminded me massively of 'lapvona' actually, in that this too had numerous extremely distasteful descriptions of both physically and mentally disabled people. also the thing itself was just boring, confusing, unclear to the point where it negatively impacted the story itself. like what is going on here lol. i am so tired.
terry pratchett // soul music
actually love this one. underrated IMO! i remember reading it as a kid and being tickled at pratchett making one of the characters blatantly welsh. love the entire concept of death having a granddaughter who is actively screwing things up for him. love the concept of death being like actually, i don't want to do this anymore. mood. fun book!!!
maxine clair // rattlebone
i was drawn to this book because of the title, and i'm so glad that i was because i loved it. it's about a young black girl growing up in kansas in the 1950s, following her from childhood until her late teens. loved the prose, loved the VOICE, loved that it explored a lot of classic time-worn themes (death, divorce, first loves, friendships, etc.) in a way that felt fresh and really distinct for both the main character and the people around her. coming of age stories can be really hit or miss for me, but this one is very special!
fiona mozley // elmet
another book from the flatmate that i read after him. a strange and special thing... one with an ending so good that it actually shifted my feelings towards the book as a whole once i was finished with it. it follows two children and their father, who's this big softhearted irish fighter, while they attempt to live off the land on the outskirts of society. very characterful, very deeply mired in a sense of PLACE which i really enjoy -- writing that is very atmospheric is always a favourite of mine. a beautiful, tough, brutal little book!
louis l'amour // river's west
another l'amour, shifting through my collection. this one i got a bit of a kick out of actually, it was just so tropey and felt so indulgent and of its time that i kinda loved it. big brawny shipbuilder dude named JEAN TALON (incredible name) uncovers a whole plot to like, steal the louisiana purchase, or something? involves a lot of people being stunned by how built JEAN TALON is because he's so strong and muscular from working on boats. not so much a cowboy story but it is a western still: this is what the genre is for!
donald ray pollock // knockemstiff
have been poking at this book pretty much all year; it's a collection of short stories that all centre around the town of knockemstiff, ohio. incredible, enviable place name. there's this genre of appalachian fiction that is very interested in poverty, violence, grit and dirt. this collection has all that and then some: think 'devil all the time' vibes, but far more immersed in the mundane. i enjoyed certain stories in it. it's definitely a collection to be read in stages, because if i read more than a couple stories at a time it all started to get a little much -- almost tedious, or rather more a bit rote? just because there's only so much nuance and interest to be found when every story is about just like, the worst most abject day of somebody's life lol.
ben lerner // leaving the atocha station
did not like this book, do not recommend this book unless you really love to read about smug but pathetic men -- which the friend who recommended me this absolutely does lol. she has a theory that this book inspired 'my year of rest and relaxation' which actually is very compelling: it follows a poet during his residency in spain, in which he essentially just wanders around and lies to people and takes drugs and thinks about poetry but does not write (kind of a vibe actually), eventually ending in his witnessing of the 2004 madrid bombings. sounds familiar? anyway. theories aside this book was just not for me and it took me almost the entire year to read all 200 pages of it haha.
patti smith // just kids
ate this up in a day as a palate cleanser for the final books on this list, because i was so desperate to read a real book. this was a re-read for me, but i got a lot more out of it now compared to when i first read it as a teenager. possibly because i'm around the age that patti smith was in this book. possibly because i am completely obsessed with patti smith, for better or for worse. i don't know! either way, i couldn't put it down. sometimes her prose becomes a little too much for me, but in 'just kids' it's just right :~) if you haven't read this book yet, you need to get on it. new york in the 1960s, her particular struggle with creativity and art and what she wants out of it, her relationship with robert mapplethorpe and all the things they went through together ... i actually have a lot of things i want to say about this book and about patti smith as she is in these early years versus how she is now in her memoirs (read year of the monkey last year and hated it so much lol) but i'll save it. she's everything to me! this book is such a scared text for young creatives trying to find their way!
cassandra clare // the infernal devices (three book series)
what can i say about these books. where do i even begin. when i was a teenager i was obsessed with these books mind body and soul, let's start there. i liked the city of bones series but this particular one was really my shit, i don't know whether i found The Boys (because of course all cassandra clare books are really about Boys) more compelling, or whether i liked the steampunk thing, the london thing, one of The Boys being welsh? who's to say! but you may ask, alice why are you reading these books in god's 2023? and the answer is: my flatmate and i thought i'd be funny. he's never read them. it's been about ten years since i last picked one up. we both love talking about cassandra clare's dark past writing incest harry potter fanfic. it IS objectively funny -- they are objectively funny books. HOWEVER it became too serious and now i'm convinced that these are like... evil texts LMAO. i really don't know how to condense my feelings about them, as i just yesterday got done reading the last one, which has the most batshit stupid ending ever.
the positives: these are incredibly well paced and well plotted books. with so much time spent on the love triangle you'd think otherwise, but actually it's a completely structural love triangle -- the whole plot would collapse without it -- which is masterfully done. really if i can take anything away from these things is that cassandra clare has a really great ability to juggle several storylines AND keep the plot clipping along. good stuff. she's also masterful at writing the most beautiful twinks on god's green earth but i think we all know that by now (saying this objectively, because of course the beautiful twinks are sixteen/seventeen, as is cassandra's specialty).
the negatives: it's bad. it's stupid writing. i feel like i've done damage to myself just reading these for the past two months (hence the 'just kids' break). idk, i won't go on. don't re-read these books, don't read them if you never have...... except... what if...?
charles portis // true grit
this was my last read of the year, and a very highly anticipated one... i’ve basically been wanting to read this book for a couple years now, but have been putting it off mostly because i was afraid that the plot is too close to the plot of my novel haha. it’s stupid i know, but i just felt like the stories were quite similiar and i didn’t want to like, influence myself by reading it or whatever. but since then i’ve redrafted my novel and taken the revenge plot out of it, plus i finished up final edits a couple months ago, so i was like okay: it’s finally time. and it was so worth it!! i love a headstrong, no nonsense teenage girl, and mattie in ‘true grit’ has both in spades. she would scare the daylights out of clementine from mynovel: she is perfect. i really enjoyed her voice and the style of storytelling: it’s a quick read for various reasons (it is genuinely quite short) but one major thing is that the plot is very fast-paced, which i loved because it fits the story so perfectly. i found myself so caught up in the characters and their histories and wants and duties that the book just kinda blew by. and for such a short, quick read, everything feels really fleshed out — the characters, the stakes, the environment, everything! i just really really enjoyed this book! so worth the wait and such a good book to end the year with too :—)
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fluffalpenguin · 9 months
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@arcvmonth day 24: the manga
oh man oh MAN it's vj day!!!!!
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it's pretty funny how all my gifs are mostly yuri-centered huh
Under the cut:
revisiting my review of the manga from last year
Headcanons and fic/comic ideas
rambling about an old WIP
small playlist! (with write-ups!)
First of all, here's the 3,000 words analysis/blog thing I wrote last year when I first finished it.
One and a half years later, I still largely agree with it! There's some headcanons I wrote in there that I completely forgot about, lol, so I'm glad past me posted it somewhere for current me to relieve it again! (The rants were also kind of funny to re-read too)
***
Next, headcanons!
Lately, I found myself wondering about Yuto and Yuri's outfits; specifically-
...Why are they walking around Maiami with dramatic red/black capes?
After some time in the kitchen, I decided that when Yuya was younger, he was really into good versus evil roles when rehearsing his dueltainment lines. And who else better to serve as his practice opponents than his two brothers who aren't off busy making rounds at the stadium on a D-Wheel?
Tying his own fluffy, white towel around his shoulders, Yuya throws a nearby black blanket to Yuto. The oldest is initially a little embarrassed about the notion, but no one can ever say no to the baby of the Sakaki family, can they? (He'll just have to live the shame down from the twins later on... They barely even respect him as they are right now, anyway) In the middle of the duel, Yuri walks in onto the two of them after having finished his homework (or tweaking his deck). He raises an eyebrow at Yuto's appearance, but gets the gist of the situation when he sees their duel disks activated and Yuya standing on top of the sofa in a similar attire. As Yuto steals Yuya's schtick and becomes a tomato, Yuri pouts about being left out and quickly leaves to hunt for something that will allow him to join the fun. When the duel ends, Yuto passes the baton to Yuri. As he watches the two rattle off silly, goofy lines like, I will destroy the planet, the universe, all the worlds! and, Never! I'll stop you, fiend!, Yuto sighs in relief. At least Yuya now has Yuri to LARP with. Maybe Yugo would volunteer too, once he returned from driving practice and hears about it. Though, he'd likely ask to play the part of the hero himself. Anyway, Yuto's already almost in middle school; he's getting a little too old to play with costumes now. Then afterwards, at dinner, with an angelic smile Yuya says, "Yuuto, can we play like that again sometime? You look so cool with a cape!"
Yuri on the other hand, always had a tendency for the melodramatic, his own personal spin of the theatrics he's seen from his dad! Deep down he really loves playing the villain.
(This was meant to be a short description but I couldn't help putting some fic-like sentences in there tehe also yes that's a reference to the conversation between Yuya and G.O.D./Eve)
***
(warning: angst ahead)
Another headcanon I have that I want to write/draw something for is that in the postcanon where Reiji, Yuya, Isaac and Ren travel through space and time together, Yuya has moments where he falters to his grief.
He's used to his brothers commenting and nagging him on almost anything and everything (A midnight snack? Think about your complexion, Yuya!) and his world is suddenly a lot more quiet. In his hurt, he starts to avoid Ren, not wanting to be reminded of what he's lost (He doesn't feel good about it).
Eventually Reiji intervenes and Yuya opens up a little. He's been unable to properly let himself grief for his brothers. All he wants to say is that he misses them.
But he doesn't feel like he has the right to do so, having being the one to seal their fates by personally destroying the one method of bringing them back to life. He doesn't regret his decision of course, but he's unable to stop himself from feeling this way too.
It has a happy ending; Reiji convinces Yuya to talk to Ren. Yuya shares stories about Yugo at Ren's request, making the both of them laugh. Yuya realises that there are other methods of bringing back people to life, too, even if only momentarily.
But it is enough.
***
Misc hcs:
Yuya's charisma and attitude is a combination of his three brothers fawning over his cuteness from birth and Yuya being so star-struck with Yusho's performances he attempted to replicate the movements ever since he could walk.
Being the oldest, Yuto feels a sense of responsibility for his brothers and pledged to take care of them in place of his always-missing parents. However, he oft times finds himself not having to do much because Yugo and Yuri are so determined to win over Yuya's heart (and be proclaimed 'favourite brother') that they also make sure to set a good example for the youngest when possible. This causes Yuto a little bit of an identity crisis (/j it's just for fun) until he settles into his role as the househusband cook.
"All of us... are connected by... the arc of destiny!"
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Reiji and Yuya are supposed to be silhouetted by their fathers, so Yuzu is meant to seem like she's looking at Yuya, but is in fact looking at Yusho. I also think VJ Yuto should be allowed to smile more!
This drawing is meant to be my love letter to the manga as a whole, and ESPECIALLY the last duel between Reiji and Yuya. I talked about it a whole ton in the review linked above already, so go check that out if you haven't!!
I was really happy with the composition when I first made this, especially with Sora/Ren/Isaac Versus the Yus mirroring their duels! (Well, okay, I know Isaac didn't duel Yuto but.... just give this to me)
Anyway I really wanted a fun and positive energy for it! Every month I think about returning to this but I get slightly demotivated when I realise I have *zero* colour references for both Ren and Isaac... Please send in your headcanons...
***
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Last but not least, last month I got brain worms for another animatic/hand-drawn MV for Eve's Fight Song! I'll never ever have to time to go back to it, but I wanted to take the chance to talk about other songs that make me ill when I think about them with the manga.
1. Myth & Roid - TRAGEDY:ETERNITY
Don’t give me an eternity Even if that’s all I can believe Press pause on the flow of time In the shadow of the blink of an eye I don’t wanna fall into a sleep ‘Cause now you are my remedy Now knocking on, knocking on, knocking on my brain Even for the temptation of a nightmare Fate demands a costly reparation for its fare
Translated lyrics mostly from lyrical-nonsense, but I made some changes for better rhyming and flow yahoo!! This song is what I imagine the OP would be in my dreams when it received an anime adaptation, I've always dreamed of making my own animatic to it!!
Not just the chorus, but the ENTIRE SONG (pleeeease go take a look at the lyrics) feels like it's made for the manga please please go take a look
2. MYTH & ROID - -to the future days
I cast my wishes to the future days If we can meet on the other side of eternity… I cast my wishes to the future days What should we talk about first? Sadness and even joy will, eventually Will sleep together That's the way life is If such a world could be granted Would nobody feel hurt anymore?
Yeah I like M&R quite a bit, how'd you know
If T:E was the hypothetical OP, this is my pick for the ED theme, like AAAAAAAA for me it encompasses the yu's story so so so so so so so well, though
And:
Both despair and also life come to end eventually Take this future into your hands and let it run its course Spin it ’round…… The hands on the clock spin around Like flowers, petals falling and fluttering Once we blossom, we dissipate in the moment THE BRIDGE THE BRIDGE THE LYRICS ARGHHHHHHHH This is definitely for me, the moment when the three yus start to fade during Yuya's battle with Eve, their last conversation they have with yuya..... *lies onto the ground in a pile of misery*
Rest of the lyrics HERE shoves it into your face
3. MAISONdes - Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous
It's no joke, no it's not! Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous Even when the time comes nothing will come of it Vague truths only become melancholy Come on and snatch me away now, take on me!
This is a fun one, when I watched the PV and in the chorus Lum was spinning I instantly went wow what if that was Phantom.. and then the lyrics bared their claws and sunk them into my brain and hasn't really let go since
Unlike the above two songs, not all of the lyrics are a perfect match, of course, but I adore how in general the whimsical yet lonely nature of the song feels like it fits Phantom so well!
4. Eve - Fight Song
As the night still refuses to end, let’s dream
Last but not least the song I posted the above storyboard for! CSM fans (as well as Eve fans, lol) are probably already familiar with the song, and full lyrics here, though like the song above, only parts of the song (particularly the chorus) really resonated with the vj brainworms in my head lol Even for me, y’know Let’s make a break for the future Towards the verge of death like we pray for A boy that gave his word Today, just like back then As if there’s no more future ahead
Sigh.... Yuto, Yugo, Yuri................ Just let out your voice Let’s take it easy We don’t even know common sense, so we know the world through wise eyes These overflowing feelings, behold Greet me with an applause
I love the first half a lot, I can easily imagine Yuya saying it to the other three... and of course, the latter, from him to the world! (or perhaps even G.O.D...)
As always thanks for reading GOODBYE I GOTTA GO DRAW SOME ARC-V OCS
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otakween · 2 days
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Digimon Frontier - Episode 3
For this episode I decided to check out the English dub for Frontier. I really enjoyed it! My problem is that the Digimon dubs are more fun and nostalgic to watch, but I'm always really conscious of missing out on lore and emotional beats. Maybe I'll finish the sub and then watch the dub someday when I wanna revisit this.
Notes:
The American OP is hype as heck! I like the tribal vibe with the drums. I think I like the Japanese digivolution music a little better though.
I liked most of the English VAs but Takuya sounds like a 30 year old lol. For some reason, Izumi's Italian outbursts were a lot funnier in English, "Mamma mia!"
I coulda sworn Takuya said he was in the 4th grade in the last episode but now he's in the 5th? In the dub he's in the 6th, so let's just say he's somewhere in the upper elementary range.
I really loved Tomoki's digivolution sequence. I like how his hand movements are a little more childish/cheerful than Takuya or Koji's Also, in the dub I love how he said "EXECUTE" lol. I know they meant like "executing a program" but I was just thinking of the murder version of "execute" hehe.
So I guess Bokomon and Neemon have a boke/tsukkomi dynamic going on. I think they overdid Bokomon's bullying a bit tho
Lol @ the DigiCode fixing one (1) single bridge in this episode whereas in the first episode they fixed like an entire village. I guess some digimon get you better results than others? (Also they said that the bridge "protected them from bad digimon," how does that work?)
So they've established a bunch of times now that there are supposed to be 10 warriors. Betting the cast will expand with some minor characters later.
I just noticed this, but Takuya has a little symbol on his shirt and hat but I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a reference to something or it's just a cool graphic.
Speaking of graphics, I finally noticed that the symbols for the spirits are literally just kanji. Like Agnimon's is the kanji for fire, Wolfmon is light, Chackmon is ice...
Uhhh...why is the dub name for Chackmon (Kumamon) way more Japanese sounding? I guess they couldn't have used Kumamon in the sub cuz...
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Chackmon is a weird name and even after reading the etymology on the wiki I don't really get it.
These kids are kinda savage. First Bokomon is pleading with them to save his world and they just look annoyed and then when Agnimon is battling all the Candlemon they're just like "wow, he's really trying to fight a fire type? What a dumbass" (paraphrasing) and they walk off (to be fair, Takuya told them to hide, but still!) It was really funny when Bokomon was telling the Candlemon that the kids were there to save the Digital World and Takuya was like "not really" lol.
I'm glad that they were at least given the chance to go home because otherwise it feels a little bit like they're being blackmailed into being heroes (save our world or you'll never see your home again)
I'm sure someone has meme'd on Agnimon being covered in white drippy wax before...I'll refrain.
I feel like we already have too much lore here. First it was Cherubimon was messing up the world and now it's actually Lucemon that was the OG world messer-upper? Now I dunno who the big bad is!
If there are 10 warriors...I wonder what the elements are gonna be. Well I guess Pokemon has managed to come up with a zillion "elements." Is someone gonna end up with "heart?" hahaha
Didn't expect Wizardmon to show up as a baddie-of-the-week. Feels weird.
I kinda like that Koji is taking his sweet time to join the party. We don't need his drama in the friend group.
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themyscirah · 6 months
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Jess? Or Hal? For the ask game (And if you've done both of them, just pick your favorite super)
I haven't done either yet! I'll do Hal in this post and maybe Jess in another after this
Tw for canonical past suicide for later in the post (skip the story idea section)
First impression:
My real first encounter with him was probably as a guest appearance within Green Lanterns, but the first book I read with him was GL/GA. I don't remember too much of what I thought of him there, it was probably more of a general "oh he seems cool I guess" kind of neutral/positive attitude. By the time I read a Hal comic I'd already met Simon, Jess, and Jo so he wasn't a contender for the spot of my favorite lantern. I never fully finished GL/GA though bc I had the book on loan
Impression now:
Mixed. There are some Hal moments I genuinely do love and like, but tbh he can get on my nerves very easily. Of the Earth lanterns he's either my least or next to least favorite (which doesn't mean I don't like him!) but he's also like the "main character" of GL so I get annoyed when I feel like other GLs are being ignored in favor of Hal.
Favorite moment:
With that said there are sooooooo many Hal moments I just love. He's very much a character made by specific moments for me (rather than a general appreciation of who he is overall). Some Swishy fave contenders include his "Avenge me" internal monologue when he fights Mongul in GL (1990) #46, and OFC the Emerald Twilight arc a few issues later. Also in the very first issue of that book, where he jumps off a cliff in front of some campers (waiting until the last moment before using his ring) was an important moment for me in reading Hal, because it was the first time I went "oh! This guy is crazy!"
Idea for a story:
An exploration of the fact that Hal literally killed himself on panel in GL (2011) #19. Because like what the hell, why did this happen and then NO ONE EVER TALKED ABOUT IT. (This is insane to me). I think I'd probably revisit it in a dream sequence, maaaybe doing a rewrite/reimagining of his Knight Terrors issue (which I have NOT read lol) to kind of address that and talk about his mental state and things that had an impact on that, stuff like his parents, the Guardians, PARALLAX. Basically it'd be Hal and the ghost of Tomar-Re just talking about how he is not okay. A pretty heavy response to a pretty heavy topic.
Unpopular opinion:
I'm going to be so real here like 95% of my Hal opinions are unpopular bc its just me talking about how I think he's overrated. Like we're bros ig but still. Overrated.
Like I LIKE him but I'm annoyed at him like 80% of the time bc DC is always putting out a mid story focusing on him while ignoring my faves WHO ARE SO COOL AND DESERVE STORIES 😤💔😭
I guess one beyond that is I'm not a fan of his friendship with Barry. Maybe this is just because I haven't read anything where they're like... interesting? But I just don't get the hype. ESPECIALLY compared to his relationship with Oliver which is absolutely insane in comparison. Like why are we talking abt Barry rn when OLLIE LITERALLY SHOT HAL AND HAL RESSURECTED OLLIE. like guys. Guys. Are you seeing this shit.
Favorite relationship:
Like ship wise? I'm not a huge Halcarol fan personally but I do think they're kind of the epitome of "you're perfect for each other. Never involve anyone else in what you have going on," kind of messy drama-filled relationship with a lot of history.
I also really like halollie and their relationship but not in like a "they should date" way or anything like that. Like they're bros to me who emotionally have a whole complicated little thing going on like idk
Within the lanterns I think the frenemy whatever thing Guy and Hal do is SO funny. I love especially the beginning of GL (1990) where Guy just in his free time shows up to ruin Hal's life while Hal is just so sick and done and mad about it. Peak comedy, Guy never change
Fave headcanon:
Do I have any headcanons about Hal? Not really. I try to think about him as little as possible (kidding). No um I'd say I don't really have any, and if I did they'd probably be really basic or smth like that he cries watching both Top Gun movies.
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whysamwhy123 · 3 months
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✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨
Tagged by the wonderful dynamic duo that is @aerodaltonimperial and @perhapswhoknowsvamp and it's very fitting that those two lovely people tagged me because they're a big reason why I wrote much of anything this year! Took me a while to get this done because I wanted to get my last fic of the year out the door first. I'll put the rest below the cut, and fair warning - it's loooooong. This bitch doesn't shut up, so I rambled on. A lot.
Words and Fics
76, 222 words published on AO3 in 2023
15 fics published on AO3 (16 if you count that one kinkmeme prompt I filled and posted anonymously)
2 little tumblr ficlets
Top 3 by Kudos
Voice in the Dark - Hookhausen (not super surprising, considering it was a popular pairing at the time, and it was the fic I wrote for the anniversary event)
Kids These Days And Their Darn Phones - Hookhausen
Half Your Age Plus Seven - OrangeHook (I continue to be incredibly surprised how well this fic did, like...huh?!)
Top 3 by Hits
Voice in the Dark - Hookhausen
Voice in the Dark, Part Two - Hookhausen (how fitting, LOL)
Half Your Age Plus Seven - OrangeHook (Seriously, what was it about this fic that drew people in? More so than any of my other OrangeHook fics? Like, I'm grateful and all but also confused, like this fic is way too long?! And weird about the age difference?!)
Author's Favourite
As much as I'm loving writing OrangeHook now, I think Voice in the Dark, Part Two is probably the best thing I've written? Even though it's also overly long and gets weird at the end (very much did not expect it to go in that direction when I started writing it), I'm actually pretty proud of how that one turned out. I had a clear vision in my head for how each scene would play out and what I wanted to get across, and man, I remember how most of the Hook/Evilhausen dialogue popped into my brain late one night when I couldn't sleep, so I spat it out into a doc and then about a month later when I actually wrote the scene, I don't think I changed a single word? I just added everything else around it, all the not-dialogue parts. And it was just a lot of fun getting to carry on that story, especially as someone who hasn't managed to crank out a proper multi-chapter fic yet. Who knows, maybe I'll return to that world someday...
Fandom Events in 2023
Uh, well, I guess I did the whole Hookhausen Anniversary thing? And...that's about it. I'm pretty disconnected from the fandom at large, whoopsie daisy 😬
Upcoming Projects
Hoo boy.
I have over 5k words of a Ricky/Christian Sugar Baby AU thing written already. I haven't posted it because it kinda needs some smut and that's still not something I can really do. I might post it someday, if I can make something work, or alternatively do what I normally do and put an annoying fade to black in there. Or maybe I'll think better of it and never post it because it's very self-indulgent and I highly doubt anyone else would really be interested or want me to continue it or anything. But I have Ideas for it...so many ideas...
Also, in my ill-fated quest to try and make myself write smut, I kinda started a Ricky/Bill championship celebration fic. Maybe I'll revisit that? Try to get it done?
And then there's that one fic I really want to work on, but have barely started. I've vague-posted about it here before - it's an incredibly fucked-up Dead Dove fic about Daniel Garcia and a Very Bad, Not-Good thing that happens to him, and the subsequent complete mental breakdown that follows. I've had the idea rattling around in my brain for the better part of a year at this point, despite not making much actual progress on it. Every time I think about it though, I have new ideas for scenes or dialogue. I'd like to make it work, but I don't know if I have the writing chops to handle it, plus it would probably end up being super long and nobody would want to read it, so it'd feel like a huge waste of time on my part? And I've had the idea for so long, it's out-dated too. But still, the urge remains...
Oh, and I still have a ton of OrangeHook ideas I'd like to make happen. Some are, of course, about their age difference. Some would (ideally) involve smut. And others... *nervous laughter* Others would likely result in an ''Everyone disliked that'' situation...
Writing Reflection
I was thinking about making a sappy post about this and whoops, here's my excuse! I don't talk a lot on here about my tragic backstory because honestly, who cares? But I will say this - before January of this year, I hadn't written a word of anything in years. Fic or otherwise. I used to love writing, but Stuff Happened and it killed all enjoyment I got out of it, and I thought that's how it would be forever. Then, for reasons I can't even remember, I started reading fic again, specifically in this wild little fandom of ours, and y'all are just so talented that it made my untalented ass want to give it another shot. So...I did.
I remember when I posted my first fic in ages back in January, I thought ''Maybe about three people will read this and no one will leave a comment or anything, but whatever, I wrote a thing and that's something I haven't done in years so that's enough for me!'' And to be honest, I still think that whenever I post stuff now? It's crazy to me that anyone actually reads my stuff and gets some kind of kick out of it. But every kudos and comment floors me and brings me so much joy, I can't even express it properly. I have to say a huge thank you to anyone who's ever read one of my fics, left kudos or dropped a comment. Whoever and wherever you are, you made my day!
And look, I ain't delusional. I know that calling myself a small fish in the fandom would be too generous. But I'm fine with that - because I'm genuinely enjoying writing again and that's what matters most to me. Even though I've also rediscovered how stressful writing can be (🙂🙂🙂) when it comes down to it, there's joy and happiness in my life that wasn't there last year and that's all because I started writing again. And because some lovely folks here decided to let me know they liked what I was throwing out there. The years have not been kind to ol' Sammy Sam-Sam and this year was no exception, but getting to forget about all that shit and write my silly little wrestling fanfiction has been a great distraction and a comfort through this whole year.
So...yeah. Thanks to everyone who's ever commented on my writing, thanks to the folks who follow me on here (I don't know how you manage that though, I'm such an annoying bitch, aren't you sick of me yet?) and thanks to anyone who I've had the chance to chat with about writing and ships and whatever silly little ideas pop into my head (any of y'all feel free to message me at any time, I am always down to blab about whatever blorbos/ideas take your fancy). I'm hoping I can keep this train a-rollin' a little more next year. Still thinking back to when I started writing again, I made my new AO3 account expecting to write Dustjim only, but then I quickly decided I couldn't write those two well enough, and since then I've bounced around a bunch of different pairings, with a few rarepairs shoved in between for good measure. God only knows where my head will be at this time next year, LOL. I'd love to finally be able to attempt some of the bigger ideas I've been cooking up for a while now. Maybe I'll even write a proper multi-chapter fic? We'll see, but this bitch can dream, at least.
Rules:
Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums.
I'm not going to tag anyone because I'm pretty sure everyone I know who writes has already been tagged? So if you're reading this and you haven't, go ahead and do it! By which I mean, eat glass. Eat all the glass that you want. Accidents happen in the dark.
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mickmundy · 11 months
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saw this on ur Twitter but PLEASE talk about all your various bushmedicines. For me but also only if you want to of course
(blease)
SKDFKSDKF OMFG my many many many bushmeds... yeas.. most of these are Mega works in progress but i think it's good to jot them down here so that i can revisit them when i work out character designs/ref sheets and whatnot! and these are just the ones off of the top of my head! @_@ i surely have more buried in my gf and i's server LOL. sooooo let's break it down really quick! HEHE:
My "Canon" medsnip: the medic and sniper in Thou Giveth Fever is just the Main/Default/Canon/Whatever medic and sniper. takes place in same universe right after the comics!
My gf and i's medsnip: arlowe and wren! a lot of their story takes place pre-teufort but they eventually become RED's medic and sniper! ^v^ "canon" red medic and sniper don't exist in this universe. they're already dating by the time they wind up at teufort together! we're still working on a lot of their backstories but i'll eventually talk more about them/write a fic for them too! ^u^
My vampire medsnip: tumblr Adores them.., yes.,., my vampire medic and hunter sniper! sniper's a vampire hunter who is hired by vampire medic to do some dirty work for him. they end up falling for each other... but not before spilling a lot of blood together!
have another version of them drafted where sniper's a herbalist and falls in love with a Big Mean Vampire who once used to love healing humans more than he loves harming them.. :'( they fall in love.,., show each other tenderness... HEHEHE..
My cult god medsnip: medic is a shapeshifting god/demon/spirit/whatever that thrives and grows in power from the cult that is convinced he exists and worships him. likes toying with them and giving them "signs" he exists and whatnot and loves the praise because, well, who wouldn't! :-) hoo! buuuut a Certain Denier has caught his eye...! sniper thinks that cult nonsense is a load of crap and doesn't fall for it. Naturally this makes medic Carnally Desire him and his attention... HEHE... >:)
My swamp monster medsnip: sniper is a werecroc that lives out in the comfy cozy australian bush/marshland (haven't decided yet). rough it as a human and also as a crocodile and loves being alone. until one day a very curious "Doctor" starts stomping around his secluded slice of heaven in search of/researching the plants and animals of the area (to harvest for his zany experiments of course!)... sniper hates people but this one just seems kind of... Charming... hmm.... !
My eldritch medsnip: MEGA work in progress. need to think about this more actually.,., Medic Is Not What He Says He Is and sniper has a hunch... ;-) medic has a "breath of life" ability which is ironic because the hurting is more rewarding than the healing! :'( HEHE. also have a cool idea for an eldritch sniper but idk if i'd want to fit them in Together or have separate aus!
My old retired domestic medsnip: would follow my "canon" medsnip. years and years later, some vague skip of time. the sorrow..,., the sweetness.,., in the Unlikely Event they retire... how might that go.. :) sniper's fine with aging but medic is NOT. everything can be defied! age! death! isn't that what you want sniper!! but maybe sniper wants to retire to some small house on the german coast with medic.,., medic can extend his life infinitely with his "devil deal" but what about his sniper.,., who has already died once... but could either of them Really ever retire...? HEHEH.., i've actually written a lot of this and i should probably publish it in a standalone fic. very emotional very angsty!!
My pony medsnip: EHE this is an extremely self indulgent one but i love it all the same! does what it says on the tin... what if they were ponies!! i've talked about it here and posted sniper's design here! i need to work on medic's just for the sake of having my own ref sheet to match sniper's but i talk about him in the twt thread i linked! ^u^ <3 i just love gushing about them because i love ponies!!
My demon medsnip: have a couple different versions of this General Concept buut the one i'll mention is a conspiracy theorist/total shut-in/sex-starved/supernatural sighter sniper summoning a demon medic... but instead of it being the kind of demon sniper was after (for whatever reason. havent figured it out yet), it turns out medic's a lust demon... Smirks
My merfolk medsnip: ONE I REALLY LOVE I JUST HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO FLESHING OUT YET GRAAHH... i love the idea of one being human and one being a merperson but i also love the idea of them both being merfolk... BUUUUUUT the idea of fisherman sniper living on the australian coast all alone his whole life and mermedic watching him From Afar and sighing lovingly... ;__; GOUGWOAUAAAA ;;; i have Some Picks for what their Fishy Parts would be too but i still need to narrow them down. BWAH!!
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technovillain · 1 year
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clearly this doesn't anywhere match the polish level but i'm not a fan of a lot of things abt the regret design so i tried to alter it a little... maybe i'll revisit this again and try harder later lol
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ygiroadrift · 2 months
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Marinated Doodles: Eastern Mind AU edition
Say hello to draft number one; part one of me cleaning up my drafts.
Turns out this was more messy that I thought it was; It was originally mixed in with OC stuff! Though I'm going to fully make this one just the fanart related ones instead.
... Guys. Have I ever told y'all that I have an Eastern Mind swap AU
A swap AU where the Kings takes Rin and his reincarnations' place. Meaning that Rin and his reincarnations would be the Kings of Tongnou, while Tougyou and the rest would be the player and the reincarnations. Specifically, the main five (Rin, Byou, Tou, Sha, Kai) would be THE kings, and the other four (Jin, Retsu, Zen, Gyou) would be the assistants of the four. Also their "end suffix -gyou" are given to the main five - mostly because I see it as a way to define the kings position. Which means: The Kings are Rin-gyou, Sha-gyou, Byou-gyou, "Tou"-gyou, and Kai-gyou The Player/Playable characters are To, King, Sui, Moku, and Ka. In this occasion I will refer Swap! Tougyou as simply "To" (not Tou), to avoid confusion. Anyways, the plot would be roughly the same; To lost his soul and travelled to Tongnou to retrieve it back, and that he would need to die 4 times. What would be different though, is that the puzzles and missions of To's reincarnation would have been more deeper, as well as the delivery and reactions of the main five towards the player.
... Honestly I wasn't sure if this is essentially a personality swap in disguise, but I guess the more I looked back at it, it seems like it LMAO. Or y'know this AU could also be my past self yearning for more in depth interactions between the characters that could have happened in the canon game....
Anyways, here was the first draft (drawn on a very awful brown paper that was used a backing for paper exam pads... hopefully that sounds real; I have no clue what the English term for it lol).
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I later cleaned it up and redrew it in a bigger piece of paper, heck I even scanned it so it would look bright!
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I didn't take Sha-gyou's page, iirc, it's because I couldn't figure out if I want to put their mouth on the waist or not... welp. I struggled here because I don't want to make the designs of both sides looking like 50/50. Maybe that's why I kinda stopped after a while (also because I have assignments too duh, I'm still senior high at that time!)
[Edit]: I do however have this instead:
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That aside, I unfortunately didn't have a full cleaned up designs for To and his reincarnations, so y'all will have this mess instead.
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(ignore the Ka-gyou dragon, ignore the Gyou-za joke... and the funny ass scenario on Ka-gyou and Sui-gyou's spice tolerance level; heck I should draw that later maybe)
In terms of their appearance, I made Swap! Rin and his reincarnations have more complex designs, parallel to the canon Kings. This goes the opposite with Swap! Tougyou and the rest, with them having simpler designs. (To would just look like canon Rin, the only difference would be having a moustache hELP LMAO). I also like to think that, perhaps Moku and Ka would be less humanoid compared to King and Sui. Think of it as a parallel to how 4 of the 8 canon reincarnations (not including Rin) are more creature than humanoid.
Anyways, bonus doodles of Kai-gyou and Sha-gyou.... Because I love those two too much at that time:
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And that's all of this AU. I feel like I made more of them but I couldn't find them anywhere perhaps some is in digital; I'll give an update if there is lol).
...There's a slim chance that I might revisit the whole thing again, because the designs felt messy. Who knows? It'll happen whenever I convinced myself to get interested in it again.
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awarriorqueen · 15 days
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So this post has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year now, right after I embarked upon my journey of rewatching X-Men: The Animated Series and falling back in love with the franchise--which has led to honestly so many good things since then!! including the art & writing it inspired me to do in the past year, the opportunities & friendship connections it gave me through finding other X-Men/Rogue & Gambit fans through the fanzine we made, and it led me to read the comics finally, giving me an even greater love and appreciation for the X-Men series as a whole--and y'all, I really couldn't have predicted where my relationship with X-Men would be almost a year later, just a week from X-Men '97 about to come out and feeling like a kid again, really excited for my favorite show to come back on :') but anyway, back when I wrote this original post--and it's a fun nostalgic journey that I felt was worth recording, which is why I've saved it--I really didn't think anyone would care about the rediscovery of my favorite show as a kid so I never shared it 😂 but seeing the recent resurgence of X-Men fans and feeling the love and shared excitement every time I post art or talk about the comics, I feel like I can share this little story now! So upon revisiting XTAS, on top of being a good time, it unlocked a core memory for me--one of the first memories I have in my life! which was the fact that I used to sneak into my brother's room to look at his X-Men book when I was like 4 (since I couldn't really read yet) and I really liked looking at the art of this X-Men comic book that was based on the tv series--but when I rewatched the series last year (2023), I thought to myself "...isn't there a scene missing? my favorite page in the book that I remember?? I'm sure I didn't make it up!"
So read on for the long journey of how I painstakingly tracked down the origin of a single image of an X-Men scene I was sure existed in XTAS or a comic book--but didn't end up actually being from either piece of media, but rather...a very obscure X-Men book in the 90's...
So almost a couple months back (this was written in June 2023 I want to say), I decided to rewatch X-Men: The Animated Series, which was one of my favorite cartoons when I was a child, and X-Men in general was one of my biggest interests, along with sailor moon, spider-man, batman, disney, etc. typical 90's kid--so getting back into this show...maybe 20 years after the last time I watched(?) was bringing back a lot of childhood memories associated with X-Men, including what may be one of the earliest memories I have, which I'll discuss in further detail in this post
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I'm not exaggerating when I say that one of my earliest memories as a child (I don't remember anything from before when I was 4, possibly 3) is frequently sneaking into my brother's room to go get this book out from his bookshelf just so I could read it(?) I think I barely knew how to read when we first had this book in our house so it was more like a picture book at first lol and I just really loved looking at all the artwork because I loved watching the show and this is back in the day of only watching reruns when they aired on tv if you couldn't record things on vhs so it was a way for the world of XTAS to always be available to me in book form 💕
and that one page just really stuck out to me the most because I thought there was something really kind of beautiful about the posing (and rogue, in general 👀 although in my adult brain I edited the memory to believe it must have been storm? she's there too lol but specifically i really liked the way rogue's hair was drawn in this pose draping over that busted concrete--so maybe I mixed up the white hair?)
anyway, as you may have recently noticed, I started really getting back into X-Men/XTAS and and since I've been doing X-Men art lately, I've thought about recreating some of my favorite scenes/panels in the book--BUT i couldn't find it at my parents' house, where most of mine and my siblings' 'kid' things are. so I thought maybe I can find references for these images online--but it wasn't easy to find this book, so I had to do some intense googling--I knew it was a book, but the scenes from the tv show were also in it so I was like 'it's not a comic, but it kind of is, so what is it???'
and there were a few books released in the 90's based on Night of the Sentinels, but the art style wasn't the same or it wasn't the right shape/size lol and after spending a lot of time scouring the internet for evidence of any possible x men books released in the 90s/special comic releases--i came up empty--but then I remembered that we somehow didn't have all the pictures in the book, and then I thought WAS IT A STICKER BOOK??? and it was the Eureka! moment that led me to find this book on ebay asdlkfhasg and luckily someone did post a flipthrough video of an italian version of it on youtube so I was able to actually see this book again for the first time in 20+ years :'D
I know it's not really a big deal, but finally seeing this book and the pages with the tv show screenshots pasted into the pages makes me feel like I got a bit of my childhood back 💕 just the feeling of that instant recall upon seeing the images that were burned into my memory as a kid and confirming that I hadn't been making up those images in my head! (and also realizing "yeah maybe you fixated on rogue and storm being pretty because you were a bi girl all along and the fact that the exact scene you loved to look at as a kid is an extremely bi rogue scene to you now is perfect" 😂)
I would love to have this book in my possession again because it genuinely was one of my first favorite things to read/look at that I can remember of my childhood, and x-men was one of the things I was really into as a 90's kid (never really went away, just went a little dormant lol and obviously I'm really diving back into it now 😅) unfortunately i think we either lost the book during a big move when I was a kid or my brother might have it (probably not though) so the only way I can get a hold of it now would be to buy it for $40 or more (someone is selling the completed thing for $350 lmaoooo)
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anyway, I wonder if anyone else who was a 90's kid has childhood memories of this book? 😊
***and here's where I pop back in from the future in March 2024 😂
when I embarked upon my comics reading journey shortly after/during the original write-up of this post, I was SO SURE I was going to find the illustrations of that sticker book in the original X-Men comics in the 90's (so i could use them as art references to recreate my favorite panels) and IMAGINE MY DISAPPOINTMENT when I read over 10 years of X-Men comics and got through the entire 90's era up until this book came out--and I couldn't find these scenes happening anywhere 😂
and that's how I figured out--thanks to Marvel Unlimited's library of so many spinoffs and special one-off series throughout comics history--that Fox (the tv company) produced a special comic series adapting the TV show to a comic called "X-Men Adventures" and I finally found those illustrations in digital HD form
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it took MONTHS months for me to find those simple page references in digital form. why? how? who cares anymore? lol but I had a lot of wrist injuries/problems last summer, so while I saved these panels, I never drew them, oops! so now since X-Men '97 is about to come out, maybe it's the perfect time to go back to my XTAS sticker book art ideas :')
anyway idk what kind of fool will spend $300 on the original sticker books, but I think I only wish I had MY sticker book back (well, technically it was my brother's, but STILL) but now it's digitally archived and the show is back, so all is good ❤
p.s. I wouldn't bother reading the X-Men Adventures series, unless you want to look at the art because they abridge and cut so much of what is in the TV series, that you're better off just watching the show--and they even completely took out Gambit's confession to Rogue and their kiss!!! so imagine my raised hopes and crushing disappointment to find out they never illustrated one of the most iconic scenes in the tv show 🙄
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bloomfish · 21 days
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I definitely will not get back into kpop ever but occasionally I'll go through a youtube binge of my old faves. I only ever liked female artists but the thing was you'd get attached to a girl group or a female vocalist and like a year later it would be like "no she's too old now. time to abandon her and introduce a new group of 15 year olds" . they continually wasted so much incredible talent by viewing the artists as well as talent itself as a replaceable commodity imo (i'm not saying this doesnt happen in western pop too but perhaps not so brazenly)
anyway a lot of it is bad lol but these are some of the things that I've revisited that still actually go so hard:
4minute crazy- excuse me?? this was such a slay. also hate. the tonal plot twist in this track: unparalleled. hyuna was iconic but also jiyoon !!! i agree w the comments of this yt video this would absolutely be a massive hit if it was released today
ladies code. this is just legitimately good pop music. a very sad story behind them as well and they were very undervalued as I recall. but this. galaxy was spectacular. both of the last two EPs tbh. that vocalist's voice does things to me
f(x) 4walls. should have been an international dance hit tbh
wonder girls obviously. even as far back as irony which is so charming in a retro way but I love that they eventually were playing their own instruments/having more of a hand in their own music. specifically i want to point out that park ye-eun from wonder girls was legitimately SUCH a talented musician imo (as a singer and a composer) and so much of her solo stuff as ha:tfelt was incredible. I was very glad to hear that she (and the others i think) left their agency bc they were so mistreated rip
yezi cider.... god she was so talented and i was so in love with her. my underrated fave... at one point i watched a whole reality show about korean female rappers for her lol (which was. a lot. but she should have won)
suzy yes no maybe again this was just really good pop.
dalshabet someone like u this is the corniest thing i'll put on this list but mostly it's just a super interesting case to me. iirc it was fairly popular with international audiences but kind of a flop in korea. which is fascinating to think about in terms of the cultural differences in what music appeals to us. like as a cheesy pop song it is just so catchy to me lol and I can't understand how it could not be but there u go
in capable/caring hands so many of these women could have done INCREDIBLE things imo. like it's undeniable that there is very real talent in kpop, I think the aggressively commercial aspect just limits the artists criminally and it's a shame. which ig is true to some extent about any pop music.
anyway i've put two of my kpop playlists that were popular on 8tracks on spotify: here and here
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cheesy-poofs · 11 months
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I know you posted the question four days ago so feel free to ignore this, but thoughts on Candy? (Cartman/Wendy)
No problem! I like asks in general so I don't mind. And sorry for the wait I just wanted to make sure this post was at least semi-comprehensible before I posted. I'm not super confident in what I wrote but I'm posting anyway. This isn't an analysis just rambling.
I've said this before, but I like Candy because I considered it before I considered Kyman (at least, before I genuinely shipped Kyman). While, sure its not "as good" as Kyman, I fucking love their episodes together and I love seeing art of it. Honestly its been a comfort ship for me at times, especially since I love Wendy and Cartman both individually as characters. In fact, Wendy is one of my favorite characters in general. I do ship her more with Stan, as "basic" as it is to ship Stendy, but I'm fine with shipping multiple things at once.
I find it so funny that Wendy killed someone before Cartman ever did; it was just to exaggerate how jealous she was in "Tom's Rhinoplasty" but it does make me like the idea of an AU of them where they're both very sociopathic and horribly codependent. I'd love to see mutually jealous / would kill for each other Candy. But obviously these two versions of their characters didn't exist at the same time, and Wendy has changed a lot as a character since then. I find them entertaining later on regardless.
I do like their plot in "Chef Goes Nanners" in fact its the only reason I revisit that episode. The scenes where they're working together are adorable, and Wendy's "wet dream" kills me 😭
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I kinda feel bad for Cartman at the end, when Wendy admits her feelings vanished after they kiss and he just pretends he's not crushed about it and sadly walks away. But it does help the theory that Cartman very easily develops crushes on people/attaches to people. I'm not great at wording this particular aspect of his character, so I'll move on.
I think this is another one-sided ship though. Wendy...well, is kind of a slut (and I would assume that Cartman calling her one in his book in "Dances with Smurfs" has to do with how heartbroken he was after she kissed him then moved on lol). Later on she genuinely hates Cartman and wants nothing to do with him. Not that I think Cartman loves her or anything, but he likely still finds her attractive. So a lot of my ideas with them as their current characters involves Wendy randomly getting horny for him, leading to her sleeping around with him; maybe it happens when Stan and Wendy are having their 40th break-up of the week or are taking a break from each other (I've gotta give credit where its due, a lot of this is probably influenced by your art). As I mentioned she doesn't like Cartman, so her casually hooking up with Cartman would most likely be a situation where she's thinking more with her clit than her brain...or maybe it would be a hate fuck lmao. Maybe that's OOC though. That all aside, I think they're really cute and funny together. I love characters that are opposites so good to know Trey and I have the same taste in ships.
Sometimes I feel obligated to have ships where I plan on the characters committing to each other romantically, like dating or marriage. But its also fun to imagine them hooking up for the hell of it and that's where I am with Candy. I think people have been shipping it for a long time too (like since Season 1?), but I don't know the full history of this fandom.
TL;DR I like Candy a lot, probably irrationally so.
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unluckyxse7enart · 9 months
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Fakemon redesign sketches as I revisit some elementary school fakemon that are canon. To me
Design+brainstorming notes under cut:
Meowfluff (first form) - JP name Fuwanya?
Type: either pure psychic (no use of wings yet) or normal/flying (psy elements dont mature til evo)
Honestly, the original look of the first form is still very classic to me. But, it feels a lot more reminiscent of baby digimon, and while it succeeds there I would have a harder time designing a digimon line, so I want to try my hand at guiding it into a more pokemon-compliant design, while retaining some of its charm points (round beanbag shape of a cat lol).
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Psyfurr (second form) - name is both a combo of psychic+fur, and a play on the word cipher
Type: Psychic/flying
Evolves via level up, though if it's a type change maybe I'll add some sort of fancy condition to that. The original design is largely what you see here, with minor tweaks - third eye moved down to chest, a cipher ring added to the tail in place of another eye.
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Originally this fakemon line was mostly designed to introduce a tuxedo coat to the games (when it was only up to gen3), and was also coming with a secondary gimmick of having multiple coat patterns available - much in the way Spinda has multiple spots. Though, since I was thinking more literally different coats like tabby or calico, probably a closer example would be Vivillion. I'm scrapping this concept to achieve a more cohesive fakemon, but may reuse the idea elsewhere honestly.
The wings and psychic elements were tossed in as an afterthought, mostly based on what I thought would suit my cat and model at the time (and my own preferences) - now, I'm thinking I'll lean more concretely into the psychic elements, and maybe consider angels as a loose theming between the wings and "halo" shape of the cipher ring?
Extra note - originally I eventually designed this line with a third stage, "metafurr", which was essentially a Psyfurr with some armor on it - once more showing digimon design tendencies instead. This would evolve from Psyfurr with a metal coat. I'm scrapping it for the time being, though I may revisit it later as a mega or 'late add on' evo, if I can come up with a good unique design progression or thematic reason to incorporate it back in.
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