#so much could have been done to avoid it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ride-a-dromedary · 25 days

Text

the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.

a halsin fanmix [listen]

#BG3 Musing #BG3 Fanmix #Halsin BG3 #Halsin #Halsin Posting #my fanmix #i give up this is about as done as it will ever be - i've been talking about this enough i need to get it away from me #i could have made at least one or two other playlists with the number of songs i cut from this #there were some things that hurt me to cut but i figured others had them in their playlists so they're out there #(the impossible dream you will always be famous i am so sorry :(()#i had three goals with this 1. make it more of a timeline in that it follows a narrative order (which hopefully is easy enough to follow)#(it makes sense to me about as much as it is ever going to lol)#2. try to avoid using songs that other individuals have used in their playlists (with a handful of exceptions - i highly encourage you also #take a listen to the others around! lots of good stuff and i figured if you were missing it from this one you can find another with it)#(and if i did use one the context might be different #'closer here is being used in a different way than i usually see it - it's putting more emphasis on the 'you can have my isolation' bit use #in context of the matron and patron for example)#and 3. focus as much as possible on non-romance path elements of halsin's character - i.e. again that's a topic that is highly explored #in other fanmixes to great success - this one is about the childhood he references and the adventures and the capture in the underdark #and the shadow curse and the burying of people he loved and the uptaking of the archdruid position and the healing he did #and possibly did not do #and the radicalization he comes into when his goals are met and he's faced with injustices #and the struggle he has of redefining himself and figuring out who he is after all of it #hopefully the 'eras' are clearly defined but hey it's all gravy from here #honestly if there is one song to listen to that encapsulates halsin for me it's tapestry - highly recommend that #anyway i am blabbing - let the lyrics and such talk for themselves jemi please #but if fanmixes aren't your speed have a kinda nice edit i guess

30 notes · View notes

the--highlanders · 1 year

Text

actually I am going to talk about jamie not being able to shoot the zombie in the age of ambition like. he's holding a gun. he's faced with something which is human-shaped but no longer a human, which is actively posing a threat to him and his friends. and he just freezes. he can't do anything.

and we never see jamie shying away from combat with non-human/non-humanoid enemies. he's happy enough to destroy the quarks, for instance. and he'll get into fights with humans/humanoid beings if it's non-lethal. but he actively turns down weapons when he gets into a fight with one of the gonds. the most we ever see him do is swordfight with trask at the end of the highlanders. and even there, he doesn't actively /kill/ - he pushes trask overboard. clearly that's not a death sentence, seeing as ben had already survived the same swim back to shore. and if trask does end up dying? jamie won't necessarily know about it. he's not directly responsible.

so I just think. jamie, who never killed anyone in the war. jamie, who's a piper, who's a musician rather than a soldier. he's not unable to fight, because he duels trask, and he's not afraid to threaten people, because he holds two and ben and polly at knifepoint. he's not naive, because he stands at the window and watches alexander die. but he's never killed anyone himself. jamie, who's consumed with survivor's guilt, always wondering if he should have done more, if his cowardice ever condemned someone else to death - but also always knowing that he could never have done it, being sickened by the part of him that feels guilty for having no blood on his hands.

jamie, who looks into the eyes of something that's not even human anymore, and can't look away, and can't pull the trigger.

and what does that do to him, then? months, maybe a year after he's left his war behind? he stands there with a weapon in his hands and he can't bring himself to defend two of the people he loves most in the world. victoria has to grab the gun out of his hands and do it for him. this young girl who he's fiercely protective of has to shoot someone, all because he can't. there's blood on her hands, now, and none on his. he wishes he could have been the one to take that shot, to carry that burden for her, and even then he can't help but hate himself for wishing. he's trapped there forever. the feeling goes round and round in circles and it never ever goes away.

#second doctor #hi i'm so normal about him <3 #you could definitely also swing it as jamie having killed people in the war & being unable to stomach doing it again!#this is just my interpretation #i'm also aware much of this is down to. this is a family show we can't kill humanoid characters ahfjshfjd #however. have you considered i love to overthink about james robert mccrimmon <3 #anyway i genuinely think jamie has a massive influence on the doctor's morality and desire to avoid killing #throughout all their lives really #because one and two are so much more. relaxed about that ig. than later doctors.#whereas jamie is. this.#like that whole bit in the novelisation of the abominable snowmen #where he talks the monks down from killing songsen by saying there's been enough bloodshed #that's something that the doctor could have done. will do so many times over.#i just think that every time a later doctor does something like that. there's a little bit of jamie in there.#a little bit of someone very traumatised who they loved very much #& like jamie's refusal to shoot in the age of ambition. the doctor's pacifism can sometimes veer into unhelpful extremes #especially later. maybe when their memory of jamie gets more warped and distant idk.#does this even make sense idk it's 1:30am and i don't have my glasses on

54 notes · View notes

sheyshen · 7 days

Text

if any of y'all could do me a solid and report this griefer that's been hanging out by the limsa aetheryte on malboro that would be lovely. I don't need to name names you'll know exactly who i'm talking about if you go there

#dude's been here for weeks adding more and more of his bots and doing his lala hate spam every so often. seems he's added a bard now too #i reported him almost week ago and nothing has been done yet as far as i can tell #never thought i'd see the day that i'd think someone could be more immature than griefers on wow but here we are #he's been up to 34 or so characters a couple days ago #luckily i'm working on an alt through msq on a different server so i don't have to deal with it as much #but i do need to go there now and then on my mains for stuff so can't completely avoid it short of not playing at all

9 notes · View notes

fatcowboys · 16 days

Text

im done w moving and out of the shitty apt w the shittier roommate (who did not let move out happen without adding as Much drama as possible) and have just. been feeling so much better. living w my two friends who actually communicate well and all work together on our needs and gah. so less stressed and anxious now!!! and also in a week kitty introductions have gotten farther than they ever did w shitty roommates kitties (they were kinda bullies, so we had to move glacial speed even w oregano cat expert) and just. thank u the universe things are so much better now

#only improvement would be if anjo Also lived here curse grad school!!!!!!#i moved out over a week ago but we just tuened in keys after cleaning day on sunday #and across just those two days bad roommate accused me of faking cleaning a part of something (that was not requested or clear)#tried to turn anjo against me by saying im a liar and manipulator and gaslighter (which. listen the last one i could say the fuckin same)#(which is also so funny bc anjo and i are so close. became codependent in a heart beat. why tf would u think anjo is gonna be on ur side)#then at the walkthru pointed out things that were damaged (which they are Alsonin on that security deposit what are u doing)#and the texted again accusing me of shit with a stupid fucking infographic on weaponized incompetance #thankfully like all of these i had my friends with me bc when infirst got there for cleaning i uhhhh had a panic attack lol #so i had good support thru everything and now never have to deal w them #its just. been So much lmao. and its so fucking nice how calm and smooth things have been #like i had that sort of shit. i in general am good at communicating and avoid shitty drama like this person #so its been So exhausting. but im done now thank god #and the new place is so much better and nicer and i love the friends im living w and Yeah :')

11 notes · View notes

poke-poke-poke · 1 year

Photo

Maybe it would be better to have it on Do not disturb...

...

...but what if you miss Something?

#pokemon swsh #pokemon sword and shield #pkmn swsh #pkmn sword and shield #gym leader raihan #goomy #poke's doodles #art #so uh. this is self indulgent www #i kinda try and avoid posting the more. angsty or like. mellow(?) drawings since i have t o n s #and i kinda want to just post fun stuff ww but---#i haven't drawn too much lately sooo-#anyways surely raihan has had many a sleepless night just stressing over social media and messages-#he has to monitor it and make sure that nothing he's done or posted has been taken and spread in the wrong light-#what if that post is blowing up in notifications because he messed up and posted something he shouldn't have ---#what if he's getting more messages because someone posted a photo of him doing something in his free time that could tarnish his 'image'#i dunno how to phrase this and im rambling #but he's the kinda guy who's very focused on the public eye and the media --- surely it gets to him every now and then right---?#i did have a follow up drawing but i couldn't make it look right ww #also yes the lighting in this ain't perfect either but listen --! i can do what i want okay!!! :#:'^]]]]]]]

38 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months

Text

...

#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol #except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade #plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me #god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set #looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u #the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control #executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont #wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral #sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive #lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not #forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho #my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly #need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im #dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter #what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by #my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything #interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to #fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i #described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that #idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean #ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said #she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the #parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the #disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage #but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain #just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked #unrelated

6 notes · View notes

vixenicks · 13 days

Text

status of the now. i have not slept its 5am

#i am so tired but theres so much i need to do and i wont get it done if i sleep #because like ive been putting off showering and cleaning for multiple days now because i keep blacking out #and then shocker! person with chronic pain and probable heart issues is too tired to do anything but doomscroll in bed eat and then pass out #i wish i was like seven again so i could get rewarded for very menial tasks #give me a small dollar tree knick knack for brushing my teeth #i did not get knick knacks for chores at age seven but hypothetically #not a depressive episode but ive had zero motivation for anything lately #and i think its just because of my poor self care as of the past few weeks #its so hard to stay. in a routine though when you need to sit on the floor because you wiped down the counters #showering is such an ordeal i always narrowly avoid passing out #i need a shower chair probably but my parents would be pissy so sigh #also i dont own one #told alfie this already but i should invest in a walker #theres dust building in my room again too because i dont have the energy to stand on a chair and clean it #that and the last time i stood on a chair and blacked out and fell off #love being disabled slash ess #skyler posting #sorry for the rant this is my diary you understand

3 notes · View notes

thelostsisters · 2 years

Text

can we talk about dr. brenner’s extremely creepy possessiveness over henry?

kidnapping him as a child and branding him with the 001 tattoo (note that him being the first kid meant it was with him that brenner decided to start doing that to them in the first place, and what the actual hell goes through someone’s mind to justify that??); preforming unethical experiments on him and downright torturing him; suppressing his powers but imprisoning him in the lab and forcing him to essentially babysit the rest of the experiment kids; and not even being willing to give up his little prodigy after watching him literally get banished to an alternate dimension. even after henry kills almost all of his kids and a good portion of the lab staff he only cares about how powerful el demonstrated herself to be, and the fact that henry is out of his grasp. so he spends the next several years using el to seek him out in the void, traumatizing the ever loving fuck out of her (and losing his only surviving kid in the process lmao. idiot). but vecna explains to el that it took her opening the gate for him to even be able to access their dimension, so brenner was never seeking out henry to try and stop him from destroying the world.

personally i think brenner just wanted his “prized possession” back. he couldn’t stand the thought of the most powerful individual being off on his own, with his own personal autonomy. brenner wanted him all to himself, wanted to be able to control him and access his powers when it’s convenient for him. he probably thought he could get henry back and eventually discipline him enough to where he wouldn’t act out, to where he would let brenner be in control. except henry wasn’t some object or pet, he was a grown ass man; he knew that he deserved to be in control of his own life, and him being evil doesn’t change that, it’s just what he did with his freedom that demonstrates how he’s an evil person.

but yeah i didn’t think they could make brenner any more awful but they did (but i’m not mad about that… i’m just so glad they didn’t try to redeem his character)

#i talk a lot of shit about vol 2 but 4x08 was actually so good #the exploration of brenner’s character and his relationship with el was extremely well done #he IS the monster like el said. so much shit could have been avoided if he was just not a fucking awful piece of shit #and ofc this is not to take away from henry being bad! but him being evil doesn’t change the fact that brenner is evil too #and the way he treated henry was inherently wrong #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 v2 spoilers #st4 volume 2 #dr brenner #henry creel #001 stranger things

88 notes · View notes

selenealwayscries · 2 years

Text

did you know Electra Heart turned 10 a few days ago

happy 10 years old to the album that ruined my life have my blorbo as your album cover

more doodles below you know the drill

I've been brainrotting over this idea

this isnt a flex it's a cry for help

#mcyt #hermitcraft #hermitblr #grian #grianmc #ariana griande #not tagging el*ctr* he*rt cuz . crosstagging #hope this doesnt show up in their tag i dont wanna get killed yet #ok so #i know i havent posted in the paspast two days BUT . im still pretty busy with real life stuff and yesterday was mcc and were all busy #watching that #so to avoid flopping i thought posting this today would be the best choice i have #anyways i spent so much time struggling to imitate the original font that was used on the album cover like #i had to download it to my laptop and just keep looking back up at the screen for reference #not a good day for my posture . or my neck . or my back #also side note #ariana griande with a 60s actress aesthetic could very well be an art idea yknow #maybe ill do that some other time but . seeing as this album already goes with that aesthetic i feel like i have already done my part /j #ive been blasting this album on loop for the past couple days and i think i might be going insane #just . really bad brain rot yknow #i need write like 3 different essays and reflections its not great for that #anyways please scream at me in the tags or in my askbox if this is . anything #i require human interaction /hj #gonna go make soup for myself now i deserve that #soup courses through my body and provide me with peace and strength #anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk #edit: i keep forgetting my art tag so #catgirl supreme

105 notes · View notes

speedofsoundsketches · 1 year

Text

@ everyone that left a super sweet message in their tags on the newest Shadow and Jolt update, thank you so much. Your words are so encouraging. 🥺

I'll be taking a break for the holidays but will get to work on the next pages early next year! I'm expecting there'll be about 40 more new pages left to tie the beginning arc together thus completing issue one of the series.

Issue two will mean a new cover and will start where we left off with the duo heading to Space Colony Ark!

Thank you all again for your kind words of encouragement. Doing this project is a joy in of itself but to see any enthusiasm for it really makes it all the more meaningful. Bless you all and I hope you have an electrified day!

#Shadow and Jolt #sonic fancomic #text #ramble #I honestly felt this great sense of relief and happiness when it was done #The experience of making it is a mixture of passionate joy and exhaustion or even discouragement #Life's been pretty unstable these last couple years for me so it's hard to stay on this when you feel you're on shaky ground #I allowed myself to take a break when my body couldn't be pushed any further #so I could come back to it with more energy and avoid resenting the project #I want it to be a fun happy experience for me so that even when the tedious parts of it get annoying #it doesn't turn into me wanting to start avoiding doing it at all #No matter how happy you are doing something #It can become a bad time if you start hurting yourself or feeling too obligated to get it done at some arbitrary timeline #Much as I want to release more frequently im bound by the limitations of my personal needs and priorities #just food for thought that might be encouraging for anyone else trying their hand at a big project too #Hope you're all taking care of yourselves #Be kind and loving to your bodies! We only have one!#<3 <3 <3

22 notes · View notes

blujayonthewing · 6 months

Text

'my mental health's been a lot better for awhile now, maybe I could start taking commissions again' vs 'would taking commissions just ruin my mental health again after it took this long to get it somewhere that feels reasonably healthy'

#I DON'T KNOW! I'M NOT SURE!!!#I haven't been drawing much at all lately so that's also a factor in the 'don't' column lol but aside from that #it's frustrating. it's so frustrating!#in theory the concept of 'you don't even have to be creative! someone else does the thinking and you just sit and make art and get money'#is like. IDEAL?? most of the commissions I've done have been really fun and rewarding to work on!#but ALSO!! every SINGLE time I've done a commission of anything for anyone my brain has eaten itself about it #I don't have discipline to do it in a timely manner and then I start feeling guilty so I go into a guilt avoidance spiral #and it's always been for friends so I ALSO feel like I'm FAILING MY FRIEND and there's also MONEY so I'm also GUILTY ABOUT THE MONEY #and everyone I've ever worked with has been so gracious and so kind to me in spite of all of that #but also most of the time I was actively seeking commissions I've been Mental Illness-- I mean at least a little more than my baseline #so I don't know. if I'm starting with a stable foundation... could I get my headspace right first.... I don't know :')#about me

5 notes · View notes

lesbianlenas · 9 months

Text

it’s so funny bc it’s like. the duality of my mind….i am like on the one hand i can’t wait to start school again in a month and to have new experiences in law school and see some of my friends again and not be living w my dad anymore :) and then the mental illness side of my brain is like screaming crying throwing up at the thought of having to do anything ever so in general i am just like whatever abt it. bc they cancel each other out idk….i feel nothing at all abt going to school next month lmao…….

#michelle speaks #i am very much going to try not to let my mental illness hold me back in law school HOWEVER #my avoidance issues are so severe fr like it’s so bad. and it’s so hard to keep myself in check #bc the easiest option is always to avoid. so it’s like i don’t want to do this. you can avoid it. ok :) like 😭#i cannot even say how many things i have planned to do and then didn’t bc of my avoidance problems #like every thing ive ever done has been an insane amount of effort when it didn’t have to be bc i had to resist avoidance #like it’s so bad truly. but i really don’t want to let it get in the way of things for me this time…..#today i had to fill out a form & i didn’t know where to find one of the documents i needed for it and i was like #i could just pay the $2k fee instead of doing this….like over a document 😭😭😭#i did do it but the fact that the thought came to my mind and i did really consider it is like 😩#need to do daily non avoidance affirmations……

2 notes · View notes

girlscience · 1 year

Text

the fact it's been five fucking years and i still sob like a baby any time some character comes out and their parents accept them fucking sucks