#so my appearance in the future may be lacking as my time will be consumed by my projects

[beansprean]

Nandor and Alexithymia

Ok so this is an attempt to organize a mess of thoughts I’ve been mulling over recently; appreciate anybody who reads the whole thing lol. My “he’s just like me fr” nandor dissertation.

So first things first - alexithymia is a symptom/trait that tends to appear for a lot of neurodivergent people, including myself, as well as those affected by emotional neglect/abuse or other related traumas. It involves "difficulties in identifying, describing, and processing one’s own feelings, often marked by a lack of understanding of the feelings of others, and difficulty distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal" (livingautism.com). For me, though I’m decently good at recognizing others’ emotional states when I’m paying attention, I have a lot of trouble categorizing my own. I have to rely on physical cues (am I smiling? Laughing? Crying? Is my heart beating fast?), mimicking others (if this happened to someone else, how would I expect them to feel? How do other people feel about this so I know what I’m feeling?), or past experience (this thing made me feel like this, so I must be feeling this now). The physical cues are less helpful than they sound, as the definition implies, because maybe my heart is pounding because I’m anxious, or excited, or I hate you, or I like you, or I’m afraid, or I just ran up some stairs. Maybe I’m crying because I’m sad. Or frustrated. Or angry. Or hungry? I literally cannot tell what my emotions are telling me most of the time, which makes communication and relationships extremely difficult to navigate. I don’t know if I enjoy talking to you. I don’t know if I enjoy this activity. I don’t know if I have a crush on you. Everything just feels like anxiety or apathy unless it’s already at 100%. One of the specific anxieties that I deal with in social situations as a result of this is not a fear that people won’t like me, but that I won’t like them. A new person approaches! They want to hang out/date! But oh no, I have no idea how I’m feeling about this person at this point. What if I don’t end up having fun? What if I dislike them and I don’t know why? What if they upset me and I don’t know why? How will I navigate breaking up with them? I’m consumed by the future possibility of being unable to interpret my emotional state and being unable to communicate or verbalize well enough to get out of the situation without acting like a jerk and hurting their feelings or ghosting them completely.

But this post isn’t just me ranting about my brokebrain, I wanna talk about NANDOR’S brokebrain. Some of you may be ahead of me.

Obviously we are all aware that Nandor is completely UNAWARE of his feelings a lot of the time; this is not news, I’m just pathologizing it lol. And not only does he have trouble expressing, identifying, and verbalizing his emotions or recognizing them in others, but...he's dead. He can't rely on physical reactions to help him out - his heart doesn't beat, his skin doesn't flush, he doesn't need to breathe, it's unclear if he can even shed tears! The past 700 years must have felt like endless apathy so much of the time - no wonder he gets depressed.

But it definitely makes sense to me that Nandor is affected by fairly severe alexithymia, and he would have trouble choosing between his wives or recalling the feelings he had for them or which one he really loved and what that felt like beyond just how unobtrusive their presence would be for his day to day routine. And at the same time it is clear to us that he wants nothing more than to hang with Guillermo and spend time with Guillermo and ensure he gives reasons for Guillermo to stick around - but he doesn't really recognize that himself. He becomes increasingly anxious and paranoid as his wedding to Marwa approaches, doesn't understand why he is so fixated on everything that could ruin it or stop it from happening, and projects those thoughts on everyone else around him. He assumes that everyone is conspiring to stop the wedding because he unknowingly wants people to give him reasons to back out. Guillermo confronts him with this, and Nandor can only verbalize that this is a big moment that is making him afraid. (Not to mention that he clearly was waiting for an objection from Guillermo which Guillermo consistently refused to give despite seemingly agreeing with Nadja's. And the whole expecting Guillermo to be jealous and confused/disappointed when he wasn't?? Honey.)

Yet, we also know from the "I like what he likes" wish that Nandor DOES want this wedding to happen. He wants to be married, he wants steady companionship, he wants to tie himself to someone and say "look, look, someone loves me! I am never alone!" Yet immediately after the wedding he balks at turning her and making the marriage "eternal". He is already bored of what he has turned her into and confused why he isn't enjoying the company of someone who will stay by his side and never argue or disagree with him or expect an emotional intimacy from him he can't give. Isn't that what he wanted? Why didn't this fix him? Why is everything still so dull?

(slight tangent on the "I like what he likes" wish honestly what a fuckin DREAM I wish I had a second person who could project my emotions/preferences for me so I could recognize them... I wish they had played around with that for a few more episodes, the comedic potential alone has sustained me for so long...)

He sees Guillermo and Freddie, feels Something, but doesn’t understand what. Discomfort? Longing? Anxiety? Lots of options we as an audience can assume or interpret, but I think we can all agree it's more complicated than just Nandor falling in love at first sight as he assumes. Nandor DOES experience passing infatuations fairly frequently - an intense blaze of emotion he interprets as love and obsesses over, pushing quickly for commitment because he believes that tying himself to someone will solidify those feelings forever. He has to act quick before they fade!

So back to Freddie, Nandor is: 1. Confused by Freddie's presence and unusually pushy about following them around and getting details about their relationship, 2. Genuinely charmed by Freddie's loser white boy swag and interest in artefacts from his home country, 3. Kept up all night by thoughts about Freddie, and 4. Able to recognize that outright stealing him would be a bad move because it would probably make Guillermo upset. Round of applause for #4, good job Nandy.

But, like with the wedding, is he just projecting? Assuming? He knows he feels something strong - an intense blaze of emotion and obsession he associates with his past relationships - and he comes to the conclusion that being with Freddie is what will finally make him happy. Might he actually be feeling misplaced jealousy because he's in love with Guillermo? Or because he sees Guillermo happy in a relationship for the first time and wants that feeling for himself? Or subconsciously sees this as another way to tie Guillermo to him and ensure he can't have a life outside of Nandor? All of these are valid. Nandor certainly doesn't know.

The last point I want to make in this messy ramble of a post is this: what if, in addition to worrying that turning Guillermo into a vampire will set him free from any bonds or obligations to Nandor and he will leave, Nandor is worried HE won't like Guillermo anymore if he is a vampire? And then what?? People change when they...change. He did.

#wwdits #nandermo #nandor the relentless #wwdits speculation #wwdits meta #alexithymia #not art

[lumintaru]

𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄. 𝐄𝐒𝐓. 𝟏𝟎/𝟏𝟕/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

𝐈𝐓  𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒  𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇  𝐒𝐔𝐍  𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍  ━━━  【  independent ,  canon compliant ,  semi selective ,  preferred mutual ,  varying activity  𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄  /  𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐑  from  Genshin  Impact  roleplay  blog.  crossovers ,  ocs , duplicates ,  multimuses  welcome. 〃  𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒  𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒  𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐒  𝐀𝐆𝐎  。 。 。 her  only  kin  was  ripped  from  his  place  beside  her.  she  seeks  for  nothing  more  than  to  reunite  with  him ,  but  it  is  clear  teyvat  has  other  plans  for  her.  some  curse  her  for  the  brashness  that  overcomes  all  else  when  she  senses  someone  in  need.  others  extol  her  unique  willingness  to  endure  such  conflicts  to  procure  the  safety  of  a  nation.  and  yet ,  she  still  carries  the  same  eyes  which  reflect  all  she  sees  in  a  hue  of  topaz.  alongside  the  same  heart ,  each  beat  thrumming  in  her  chest  with  golden  earnest.  despite  the  otherworldly  aura  that  envelops  around  the  traveler ,  a  simple-minded  ―  and  rather  human  ―  nature  does  not  escape  her.  〃  I  look  forward  to  meeting  you  all  ✧  】 ━━━ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ~ lumine's backstory has your typical protagonist angst, but topics of dissociation and separation will surface. nsfw may appear on this blog, but it will be minimal. anything i consider triggering to a general audience will be tagged universally with "trigger warning", no fancy symbols! just simply block that tag for your convenience. i personally do not have any triggers. any drama or callouts will most likely not appear at all on this blog.

𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 ~ if you are a genshin roleplay blog then 99% of the time chances are i will follow you back. i welcome personal, multifandom, multimuse, multiverse, crossover, duplicate, and oc blogs. i am very open to chatting so there is no need to be shy about sending asks or messages to me. all that i request is that you don't interact with me if you have the intention to be problematic or hurtful because i don't have the patience truthfully.

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘 ~ this blog is low activity and friday-sunday is when i will be able to properly write replies to any roleplays. on weekdays i will be active but mostly just stalking my dash on mobile. expected time frames for a response could be from a day to a week or more. if you don't see anything from me for a while, or i just seem to have forgotten, please don't be scared to give me a reminder! i am always grateful for the help! my reply speed is not an indication of me lacking interest in our interaction! if we are mutuals then i want to write with you sometime in the future!

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 ~ of course!! i love shipping and the comfort it can bring, no matter the relationship. i enjoy many rarepairs and not-so-rarepairs, so i don't really see myself declining any invitations with lumine. i am fine with developing a ship through discussions in dms, or just having the development happen and going with whatever feels right. if our muses have no chemistry or canon interactions it is okay!

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐔𝐍 ~ hello call me chae! i am 18+ and use she/her pronouns, i am majoring in chemical engineering. this is my first roleplay blog on tumblr (help), but i have played lumine before. i started genshin in 1.0, but i have not played past the liyue archon quest. i began legitimately roleplaying in 2020, but i have never had any trouble when it comes to both creating and consuming literature. on a good day -- when i am not braindead -- i enjoy writing novella/literate responses. other days i have to bang my skull on the wall a couple of times to get down a sentence. either way i tend to mirror responses. if my formatting is an issue for you then please let me know so that i can make accomodations! i am a huge nerd and i love making friends. :)

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐃!

#📌 pinned 。

[floral-poisons]

Hey hi hello! If it’s okay with you, may I request the first year gang (separately) dating a male!MC and like it’s their first time dating another guy and like they’re figuring it out. Nothing angsty, lots of fluff, just the boys having a comedic gay crisis at how cute their boyfriend is.

hi anon!! of course you may request first year gang figuring out things with their male! mc boyfriend!!! honestly, there's not enough soft lgbtqia+ stories out there. thankfully things are changing now! i also just had to post this after i finished it!!

i also couldn't help but think of heartstopper when seeing this request. so of course i had to give one of the boys the heartpulling, tearjerking beach scene between nick and charlie. still have not watched it yet because of a lack of time but i will get around to it.

SEBEK ZIGVOLT

dating in general wasn’t something that crossed sebek’s mind. and of course all the media he consumed was centered on men and women. all dating advice was geared towards women. there’s just one problem.

sebek wasn’t dating a woman.

“it’s the fifth date! i have to do something nice.”

no one, not even malleus, could make him go through all this effort. and all this effort for a human? he wouldn’t even consider prior!

sebek was looking at flowers. there were a ton of choices! he was confused as to which ones to get. but then he thought about it. would flowers even be suitable for you, his date? maybe his boyfriend in the future? were flowers too much?! would you think he’s going too fast?! humans were so complicated! the endless possibilities of what could go wrong just by flowers was beginning to cause his eyes to spiral.

lilia put a hand on sebek’s shoulder. “don’t worry too much.” he smiled, as if reading sebek’s mind. “whatever you get (y/n), he will be very happy. he likes you a lot. don’t fret about it. besides, who doesn’t like flowers? if a man can’t handle flowers then he’s not really a man at all. and i think (y/n) likes flowers very much.”

“ah...okay...we’ll go with that one!”

sebek showed up at your doorstep a few minutes early, holding the large flower arrangement he had picked out. his weekly allowance, drained. but that’s okay. anything for you.

you opened the door, still wearing a face mask. you hadn’t anticipated for sebek coming early though. “sebek!”

“i...ummm...i didn’t know which flowers to get you so i got you these!” he exclaims, cheeks going completely red as he looked away.

“sebek! these are lovely!” you exclaim, taking them. you took a deep breath, allowing the scent of the flowers to flood your nose. “and these will do wonders for the dorm. it’s so dead in here. anyways, come in, come in. i just have to get this mask off and then do my skincare routine and then we can leave.”

sebek was just...in awe with your reaction. you were so cute! flowers were so romantic after all.

he didn’t need to worry.

ACE TRAPPOLA

today was just a night in for the two of you. ace was sitting down, scrolling on magicam until he noticed you bringing out a few comics he’s never seen before. he had to crawl over next to you to take a look. “what are those?”

“comics!” you exclaim. “i don’t know how they managed to come here? but these are the ones i had back at home! look! this one is about scarlet witch aka. wanda maximoff! she’s such a cool character. i wanted to be her for halloween when i was a kid once.” you rubbed your chin in thought.

“a witch? what kind of magic does she use?” he skimmed the pages. “whoa!”

“cool right? she can rewrite reality.” a devious expression appeared on your face. “if i could rewrite reality i’d make every food azul ate takoyaki!” your eyes turned into stars.

“(y/n)! that’s cold!” he exclaims. “how come i never knew my boyfriend could be this way?”

“because you don’t know me like i do.” you smirked. “oh! this one is the pride issue of superman aka. jon kent. he’s got a boyfriend! and this one is the issue for red robin and his boyfriend! they’re quite cute!”

ace took the comic books, looking at them and then you as you were pulling out comic after comic.

“this one’s the nubia pride edition. nubia’s my favorite hero alongside red robin! and this one is harley quinn and poison ivy! the original superhero couple! and i think i have a lot more...” you dug through. “oh! doom patrol is also great!”

you stopped, looking at ace who was looking at the covers. they were romantic, cute. they reminded him of the times where you guys had climbed onto the roof of ramshackle and you laid your head on ace’s lap, similar to this pride cover. “is something wrong?”

“no...” he looked up at you. his cheeks were dusted pink. “i...i’m not used to relationships you know. and you’re the first guy i’ve ever dated. but it feels a lot more right. if that makes sense! i mean i don’t mean any offense to the girls i dated before you i...you make me feel good. like this!” he pointed to the red robin cover. “this is us! and i don’t know...no one else makes me feel this way.”

“awww! you’re so cute!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders. “you’re the bernard to my tim drake!”

“wait but i wanna be the superhero!”

“no. that’s me.” you smile. “besides, i’m the one who saves you from danger most of the time anyways. which makes me your super-boyfriend!”

“super-boyfriend...i like that a lot.”

DEUCE SPADE

deuce had honestly spent too much time being a punk than dating. there was that one time in middle school when he dated a girl in his class. but did that really count? no one counted middle school relationships for a reason.

despite getting into a relationship, he was still focusing on his studies. the two of you were peers trying to study alchemy so you both can pass crewel’s class and not have to deal with the punishment.

except the two of you absolutely sucked at it.

after about an hour, you guys had basically given up. you fell asleep on your textbook after your brain refused to absorb the words on the page.

“oh. he’s got goosebumps...” deuce noticed that today was a bit chilly and you weren’t wearing too many layers. grim had said you did not believe in undershirts.

“i...do you put jackets on your boyfriend?” deuce questions. lots of men he’s encountered would say no. that goes against masculinity. but what’s the point of being masculine if you’re going to get sick? or just be uncomfortable in general?

there was something calming about the fact that you fell asleep in his presence. it meant you trusted him and that you felt safe with him.

deuce removed his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, making sure to have it on your body as much as possible. your shivering ceased.

“there. now i’ll clean this up...” he began picking up the books until hearing you mumble.

“mom...you should meet my boyfriend...you’d like him...” you turn your head. “he’s sweet...caring...got a bit of a temper but it’s more funny...i think you’d get along...”

his heart swelled upon hearing that. boyfriend!! boyfriend!! you called him your boyfriend! you were so cute too when you talked in your sleep.

“ah! wait that sounds creepy!” deuce’s face went red before he continued to clean up the workspace. the last thing he’d want is to scare you away.

you made him happy. and he didn’t want that to go away.

EPEL FELMIER

going to harveston was a lot better than staying back at the school for winter break, being left alone with the octotrio and grim in the rundown ramshackle dorm. you were surprised to hear from epel that his grandmother in particular wanted to invite you.

“how does she know about me?” you ask.

“well i...i told her about you in my letters to her.” epel’s face goes pink with embarrassment.

“well i hope you wrote good things!”

“don’t worry.” he smiles. “i only grot great things.”

your cheeks went hot. “i wasn’t expecting that.” you laugh.

epel was about to knock when the door opened, revealing his grandmother. “epel! (y/n)! you’re here! and you are just as handsome as i imagined you to be.”

“awww. well thank you miss. felmier.” your cheeks grow hotter.

“come in, come in.” she shuffled back inside. “epel’s told me all about you! well most of his letters were worries about how to impress you and what boys you age like nowadays. i told him to rely on the basics. they’re still around because they work!”

“grandma...” epel muttered as he closed the door behind you two.

“there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. you know, he was all tongue tied about confessing.”

“really?” you raised an eyebrow. epel was pretty confident approaching you. a little awkward but who wouldn’t be when confessing to their crush?

“he didn’t know if he should be more upfront or subtle. i told him upfront is always the best.” she poured you a cup of hot tea and handed it to you. “he also had a rather tough time figuring things out. in the end, i told him it’s whatever his heart desires. and if it desires you, then so be it.”

“awwww.” you turned to epel. “you’re such a softie~”

“i am not!” his face was red. “just...okay...only for you.”

JACK HOWL

beach dates were not your favorite. you disliked the sand getting everywhere, especially in your bags. and after you left and went home, you’d find sand in places where it wasn’t supposed to be. but a beach date with jack? it wasn’t so bad.

jack hadn’t thought much about dating you. it was his first time dating a guy, yes. and also his first time dating in general (middle school and elementary school didn’t count). sitting in silence, however, gave him the space to think.

you guys have been dating for a few weeks now...did that make you boyfriends?

but what if you didn’t consider jack your boyfriend yet? what if you wanted to take it slow? jack didn’t mind but thinking about the possibility of making you uncomfortable made shivers run down his spine.

that was the one thing he didn’t want to do.

“jack? jack?”

“huh?” he turned to you. you had opened the container of fruit you brought. he had watched you open up a melon with your bare hands and without breaking a sweat. it was very attractive and he had to go to the bathroom to put water on his face because it was so hot.

“you want some fruit? you said you were hungry on our way here.”

“oh...yeah. you don’t have to feed me you know.”

“why? you’re my boyfriend! i have to take care of you!”

“boy...boyfriend...” he blinked. you were smiling widely, holding a fork with a melon piece attached to it. “i like being your boyfriend...you’re my boyfriend...” he smiles.

your own cheeks go hot. “i am.”

“that makes us boyfriends.” his smile grows wider before he leans in and takes the melon piece in one bite. he tried to say something with his mouth full but you couldn’t get it.

“what was that?”

“i love being boyfriends.” he wraps his arms around you and buries his face in your neck. “it’s comforting.”

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #diasomnia #heartslabyul #pomefiore #savanaclaw #sebek zigvolt #deuce spade #ace trappola #epel felmier #jack howl #twst first years #male mc #male yuu #male reader

[shinymoonbird]

🕉️ 🔱  Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Arunachala Ramanaya   🔱 🕉️

The Paramount Importance of Self Attention, by Sri Sadhu Om, As recorded by Michael James

Part One - Mountain Path: April-June 2012 - Excerpt

Note of 5th December 1977

Sadhu Om: To dwell upon 'I am' in whatever way is possible is good contemplation (manana). It is the practice that will root out all interest in other things (second and third persons) and make self-abidance easy.

Good and bad are based on the limiting concept 'I am the body'. The experience of the jñāni is simply 'I am'. Though it may seem that the jñāni sees differences, he never actually experiences any distinctions such as good or bad. He is ever contented with the knowledge 'I am'. 'I am' is both the way and the goal, as Bhagavan teaches us in verse 579 of Guru Vachaka Kovai (The Garland of Guru’s Sayings) by Sri Muruganar :

Since Self is the eternal, non-dual Thing and since there is no means to reach It other than Self-attention, know that Self itself is the path, Self itself is the goal, and that they [the path and the goal] are not different. 

✨ Sadhu Om: The Sages’ saying, “I am the path and I am the goal”, is to be recalled here. ✨

Bhagavan is the greatest siddha. He knows well what work need be done on us and how to do it. Though we do not know it, he is doing his work all the time. 

Erratic behaviour only occurs if a disciple has a profound change of outlook while still retaining some individuality. Bhagavan will always bring about the required change of outlook (the experience of true self-knowledge) together with the loss of individuality, so no outward changes will be seen in those whom he liberates, and no 'I' will rise in them to say 'I have had this change of outlook', nor will he say anything (that is, he will not say that they have been liberated).

He used to give the example of a hard-shelled fruit which an elephant swallows whole and excretes unbroken, but when the shell is broken open the contents are found to have been digested. Likewise, when Bhagavan consumes anyone's ego, they will outwardly appear unchanged. No one can say how many egos Bhagavan has thus consumed.

In one of his verses Muruganar sang to Bhagavan, 'You have given me sahaja [my natural state] without letting me experience nirvikalpa samādhi, close my eyes, or do any sādhanā'. Such is Bhagavan's guruship, but if he were asked how he does it, he would say, 'I don't know; I just know that I am'.

Compare verse 89 of Sri Arυnachala Aksaramanamalai: 

'Arunāchala, who, unknown to anyone, enchanted and stole my mind?'

There is only a thin line between jñāna and ajñāna. At the right time, a shock may enable one to cross the line and have that small change of outlook.

'I am' is neither inside nor outside. Dwell on the fact that 'I am' is devoid of limitations. Dwell on the feeling of being. That is self, and it alone exists.

The karma theory is riddled with loopholes, ambiguities and dubious assumptions. Firstly it presupposes that the ever non-existent ego exists as a doer, and on top of this false assumption it piles up one false assumption over another: the existence of God, agamya, sañcita, prārabdha, their functions and so on. Do not merely doubt the theory; doubt whether you exist as a doer.

________

✨ ✨ ✨

Jñāni: a person of true self-knowledge; Ajñāni: a person lacking true self-knowledge.

Agamya, is the karmas which are carried forward to future births, which are deposited in already existing sanchita karma,  Sanchita, is the accumulated karmas of previous births,  Prarabdha, is the karmas of present birth.

Samadhi - Holding on to the Supreme State. When it is with effort due to mental disturbances, it is Savikalpa Samadhi. When these disturbances are absent, it is Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Remaining permanently in the primal state without effort is Sahaja Samadhi.

Sadhana: spiritual practice.

✨ ✨ ✨

#Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi #Sadhu Om #the paramount importance of self-attention #self-investigation #who am i?

[eternal-echoes]

Your Holiness, your Encyclicals present a compelling view of man: man inhabited by God’s charity, man whose reason is broadened by the experience of faith, man who possesses social responsibility thanks to the dynamism of charity received and given in truth. Your Holiness, it is from this anthropological standpoint — where the Gospel message exalts all the laudable aspects of humankind, purifying the grime that covers the authentic countenance of man created in the image and likeness of God — that you have repeatedly stated that this rediscovery of the human countenance, of Gospel values, of the deepest roots of Europe, is a cause of great hope for the European continent and [beyond]. Can you explain to us the reasons for your hope?

The first reason for my hope consists in the fact that the desire for God, the search for God, is profoundly inscribed into each human soul and cannot disappear. Certainly we can forget God for a time, lay Him aside and concern ourselves with other things, but God never disappears. St. Augustine’s words are true: we men are restless until we have found God. This restlessness also exists today, and is an expression of the hope that man may, ever and anew, even today, start to journey towards this God.

The second reason for my hope lies in the fact that the Gospel of Jesus Christ, faith in Jesus Christ, is quite simply true; and the truth never ages. It too may be forgotten for a time, it may be laid aside and attention may turn to other things, but the truth as such does not disappear. Ideologies have their days numbered. They appear powerful and irresistible but, after a certain period, they wear out and lose their energy because they lack profound truth. They are particles of truth, but in the end they are consumed. The Gospel, on the other hand, is true and can therefore never wear out. In each period of history it reveals new dimensions, it emerges in all its novelty as it responds to the needs of the heart and mind of human beings, who can walk in this truth and so discover themselves. It is this reason, therefore, that I am convinced there will also be a new springtime for Christianity.

A third reason, an empirical reason, is evident in the fact that this sense of restlessness today exists among the young. Young people have seen much — the proposals of the various ideologies and of consumerism — and they have become aware of the emptiness and insufficiency of those things. Man was created for the infinite; the finite is too little. Thus, among the new generations we are seeing the reawakening of this restlessness, and they too begin their journey making new discoveries of the beauty of Christianity, non a cut-price or watered-down version, but Christianity in all its radicalism and depth. Thus I believe that anthropology, as such, is showing us that there will always be a new reawakening of Christianity. The facts confirm this in a single phrase: Deep foundation. That is Christianity; it is true and the truth always has a future.

…

We could call Europe’s other soul the Christian one. It is a soul open to all that is reasonable, a soul which itself created the audaciousness of reason and the freedom of critical reasoning, but which remains anchored to the roots from which this Europe was born, the roots which created the continent’s fundamental values and great institutions, in the vision of the Christian faith.

#Catholic #Christianity #Pope Benedict

[luxurybeautyreviews]

How Can You Tell If Beauty Products Are Fake?

I recently stumbled upon a rather eye-opening discovery: the world of counterfeit beauty products. It started innocently enough, with a seemingly great deal on my favorite high-end foundation. Ecstatic to score a bargain, I eagerly ripped open the package, only to be met with disappointment. The product's inferior quality was evident from the moment I applied it to my face. Feeling duped and betrayed, I decided to delve into the world of identifying fake beauty products, determined to arm myself with knowledge to avoid such disappointment in the future.

Checking the Packaging

When it comes to identifying fake beauty products, one of the first steps is to carefully examine the packaging. This is because counterfeiters often make mistakes or cut corners when it comes to the packaging design and printing. By paying attention to certain details, you can spot potential red flags that may indicate a product is fake. Look for misspellings or grammatical errors on the packaging One of the simplest ways to detect a counterfeit beauty product is to check for spelling mistakes or grammatical errors on the packaging. High-quality brands invest in professional design and printing, so any noticeable errors could be a sign that the product is not authentic. Take the time to read the packaging carefully, paying attention to product names, ingredient lists, and instructions. Check for inconsistencies in the logo or brand name Another telltale sign of counterfeit beauty products is inconsistencies in the logo or brand name. authentic brands have consistent logo designs and brand names that are clearly displayed on their packaging. Look for any variations in font, color, or size that may indicate the product is not genuine. Examine the packaging for poor print quality Counterfeit cosmetic products often have packaging with poor print quality. This can include blurry images, faded colors, or smudged text. Additionally, authentic brands usually have clear, sharp, and vibrant packaging designs. If the print quality appears subpar or inconsistent, it could be an indication that the product is fake. Verify the presence of the product's barcode or QR code All legitimate beauty products should have a barcode or QR code printed on the packaging. These codes are essential for tracking and inventory management purposes. Counterfeit products may lack these codes or have ones that do not match the product's information. Before purchasing a beauty product, verify the barcode or QR code using a scanning app to make sure it is authentic.

Inspecting the Product

Once you have checked the packaging, the next step is to inspect the actual product itself. By assessing its color, texture, smell, and other characteristics, you can further determine whether a beauty product is genuine or fake. Check the color, texture, and smell of the product Authentic beauty products often have consistent colors, textures, and smells. Take note of the product's appearance and compare it to the original or other authentic products you have used before. If the color looks off or the texture feels different, it may be a sign of a counterfeit product. Similarly, if the scent is unusual or differs significantly from what you expect, it may be worth questioning the authenticity. Look for any unusual or unfamiliar ingredients Counterfeit cosmetics often contain unapproved or harmful ingredients, which can be detrimental to your skin or health. Take the time to read through the product's ingredient list and familiarize yourself with the commonly used ingredients in authentic beauty products. If you spot any unfamiliar or banned ingredients, it is advisable to avoid using the product. Compare the product's consistency with the original Many beauty products have distinct consistencies or formulas that are well-known to consumers. Counterfeit products may not be able to accurately replicate the same consistency or texture as the authentic ones. If the product feels significantly different or behaves in an unexpected way, it may indicate that it is not genuine. Examine the product's expiration date and batch number Every authentic beauty product has an expiration date and a batch number. These are crucial for tracking and quality control purposes. Check the expiration date to ensure that the product is not expired or nearing its expiration date. Additionally, verify the batch number with the brand's official website or customer service to confirm its authenticity.

Analyzing the Price

When shopping for beauty products, it is essential to be cautious of unusually low prices as they may indicate counterfeit items. By analyzing the price and comparing it to other retailers, you can make a more informed decision and avoid falling victim to counterfeit beauty products. Be cautious of heavily discounted products If a beauty product is heavily discounted compared to its regular retail price, it should raise a red flag. Counterfeiters often lure customers with significantly lower prices to entice them into purchasing fake products. While it is possible to find legitimate discounts or sales, it's essential to exercise caution and investigate further before making a purchase. Research the average price of the product Before purchasing a beauty product, take the time to research the average price range for that particular item. Familiarize yourself with the market value to have a better understanding of what to expect. If you come across a price that seems too good to be true, it is advisable to double-check its authenticity. Compare prices from different retailers To ensure you are paying a fair price for a beauty product, compare prices from different retailers. Check reputable physical stores, authorized online retailers, and the brand's official website. If you notice a significant price discrepancy between sellers, it could indicate that one of them is selling fake products. Trustworthy retailers generally have similar pricing for authentic products. Beware of price inconsistencies between different sellers Inconsistent pricing across various sellers can also be a sign of counterfeit beauty products. If you find vastly different prices for the same product, it is important to question the legitimacy of the cheaper options. Counterfeiters may try to undercut the market price to lure unsuspecting customers into purchasing fake items.

Authenticating the Seller

To ensure the authenticity of beauty products, it is crucial to purchase them from reputable and authorized sellers. By checking the seller's reputation, reviews, and history, you can make an informed decision and minimize the risk of purchasing counterfeit products. Purchase from authorized retailers or official brand websites One of the safest ways to ensure the authenticity of beauty products is to buy from authorized retailers or directly from the brand's official website. These trusted sources have established relationships with the brands and are more likely to sell genuine products. Avoid purchasing from random or unknown sellers, especially if the deal seems too good to be true. Read customer reviews and ratings of the seller Before purchasing beauty products from a seller, take the time to read customer reviews and ratings. Authentic sellers often have positive feedback from satisfied customers. Look for reviews that specifically mention the authenticity of the products or any negative experiences that might indicate counterfeit items. Be cautious if a seller has numerous negative reviews or a low rating. Check the seller's reputation and history Conducting thorough research and checking the seller's reputation and history is crucial when purchasing beauty products. Look for any previous reports or complaints against the seller, especially regarding the sale of counterfeit items. Trusted sellers typically have a good reputation and a history of selling authentic products. Avoid buying from suspicious or unknown sellers In the age of online shopping, it is important to be vigilant when buying beauty products from unfamiliar sellers. If a seller lacks a well-known reputation or does not have a physical store, exercise caution. Be particularly wary of sellers offering counterfeit products at significantly lower prices or without adequate information to prove their authenticity.

Seeking Professional Advice

If you are unsure about the authenticity of a beauty product, it is always a good idea to seek professional advice. Dermatologists, beauty experts, and trusted sources can provide guidance and recommendations to help you make an informed decision. Consult a dermatologist or beauty expert Dermatologists or beauty experts can be invaluable sources of information when it comes to distinguishing between genuine and fake beauty products. Schedule a consultation and seek their advice before purchasing or using a product. They can analyze the packaging, ingredients, and other factors to determine if the product is genuine. Ask for recommendations from trusted sources Reach out to friends, family, or trusted individuals who have experience with beauty products. Asking for recommendations can help you identify reliable sellers and brands. People who have had positive experiences with certain products or sellers can provide invaluable insights. Utilize their knowledge and expertise to make more informed choices. Seek guidance from brand representatives If you have doubts about the authenticity of a beauty product, consider reaching out to the brand's customer service or representatives. Authentic brands are often willing to provide information and answer any questions you might have. Discuss your concerns with them, and they can help verify the authenticity of the product. Join beauty forums or online communities for advice Beauty forums and online communities are great platforms for sharing information and seeking advice from fellow beauty enthusiasts. Engage in discussions related to counterfeit beauty products to gain insights from others who have encountered similar situations. Members often share their experiences, recommendations, and even provide guidance on how to detect fake products.

Verifying the Packaging Codes

packaging codes are important elements of authentic beauty products that can be used to verify their legitimacy. By checking for unique codes, holograms, or utilizing official brand resources, you can authenticate the packaging and ensure you are purchasing genuine products. Look for holograms or security labels on the packaging Many legitimate beauty products incorporate holograms or security labels on their packaging. These features are designed to deter counterfeiters and provide a way for consumers to verify authenticity. Check for these holograms or security labels, and ensure they match the brand's official designs. Counterfeit products may lack these features or have poor-quality imitations. Check the packaging for unique serial numbers or embossed codes Authentic beauty products often have unique serial numbers or embossed codes on their packaging. These codes help manufacturers track and verify their products. Look for these numbers or codes and cross-reference them with the brand's official resources. If the code is missing, looks fake, or does not match the manufacturer's information, it is likely a counterfeit product. Authenticate the product using the manufacturer's official app or website Many beauty brands now offer official apps or online tools to help consumers authenticate their products. Utilize these resources by scanning barcodes, QR codes, or entering unique product information. The app or website will then verify if the product is genuine or counterfeit. Authentic brands usually provide clear instructions on how to use their apps or access their verification systems. Contact the brand's customer service to validate the codes If you are still uncertain about the authenticity of a beauty product, contact the brand's customer service for assistance. Provide them with the codes, serial numbers, or any other relevant information, and they can verify if the product is genuine. Authentic brands are usually responsive and willing to help their customers authenticate their products.

Researching the Product's Background

To ensure that the beauty product you are considering is genuine, take the time to research its background. This includes understanding its manufacturing process, quality testing, certifications, and the reputation of the brand itself. Learn about the product's manufacturing process Authentic beauty products are manufactured using specific processes and adhere to strict quality control measures. Look for information about the manufacturing process on the brand's website or product packaging. Pay attention to details like the location of production, quality assurance practices, and any certifications or standards followed. Verify if the product has undergone quality testing or certifications Reputable beauty brands often subject their products to rigorous quality testing or certifications. These tests ensure that the products meet certain standards and are safe for consumer use. Look for certifications from recognized organizations or certifications related to specific ingredients used. Counterfeit products are unlikely to have undergone these tests or acquired the necessary certifications. Read up on the brand's reputation and history Understanding the reputation and history of the brand behind the beauty product can provide valuable insights into its authenticity. Research the brand's background, mission, and values. Look for customer reviews, press releases, or news articles regarding the brand's practices or any previous incidents involving counterfeit products. Well-established brands with a positive reputation are generally more reliable. Stay updated with any product recalls or known counterfeits Keep yourself informed about any product recalls or known counterfeits in the beauty industry. Follow relevant news sources, reputable beauty bloggers, or official brand social media accounts for the latest information. Being aware of any past incidents can help you avoid purchasing counterfeit products that may pose risks to your health or safety.

Observing Packaging Changes

Beauty brands occasionally update or redesign their product packaging. While this is common, sudden or significant changes in packaging can be a cause for concern. By paying attention to these changes and comparing them to official product images, you can help identify counterfeit products. Be aware of sudden packaging redesigns or alterations Counterfeiters may try to mimic packaging changes to make their fake products appear more authentic. Be cautious if a beauty product suddenly undergoes a significant packaging redesign. While legitimate brands do change their packaging from time to time, sudden and unexpected alterations may indicate counterfeit products. Notice any differences in font, colors, or sizes on the packaging When comparing a beauty product's packaging to official product images, pay attention to details like fonts, colors, or sizes. Counterfeiters may not be able to replicate these elements accurately, leading to visible differences. If you notice any inconsistencies or variations in these aspects, it is possible that the product is fake. Compare the product's packaging with official product images Authentic beauty brands often provide official product images on their websites or social media platforms. Use these images as references and compare them to the product you're considering. Look for any discrepancies in the packaging design, logo placement, or overall appearance. If the packaging differs significantly from the official images, it may indicate a counterfeit product. Look for changes in the packaging's materials or finishes Counterfeit beauty products often use cheaper materials or finishes in their packaging. Pay attention to the quality of materials such as paper, plastic, or metal used in the packaging. Counterfeit products may have flimsy or poor-quality packaging that feels different from authentic ones. Also, be wary of finishes like holographic effects or shiny coatings that are overly exaggerated or poorly executed.

Purchasing from Reliable Sources

To minimize the risk of purchasing counterfeit beauty products, it is essential to buy from reliable sources. By choosing reputable and authorized beauty retailers, physical stores, or the brand's official stores or websites, you can ensure the authenticity of your purchases. Buy from reputable and authorized beauty retailers When purchasing beauty products, opt for well-known, reputable beauty retailers with established reputations. These retailers often have strict quality control measures in place to ensure they sell only authentic products. Look for their authorized reseller status, affiliations with the brand, or any certifications that validate their reliability. Visit physical stores to ensure product authenticity Consider buying beauty products from physical stores whenever possible. Physical stores allow you to examine and verify the products before purchasing them. By physically holding the product, checking the packaging, and interacting with the staff, you can increase your confidence in the product's authenticity. Purchase directly from the brand's official stores or websites To guarantee the authenticity of beauty products, buy directly from the brand's official stores or websites. Authentic beauty brands often have their dedicated online platforms where customers can purchase with confidence. These official channels ensure that customers are getting genuine products and provide reliable customer service should any issues arise. Consider buying from well-known online marketplaces with buyer protection If you prefer buying beauty products online, consider purchasing from well-known online marketplaces with strong buyer protection policies. Platforms like Amazon or Sephora provide guidelines and safeguards to prevent the sale of counterfeit items. However, it is still crucial to research the specific seller's reputation and thoroughly read customer reviews before making a purchase. Read the full article

#Authenticity #Counterfeit #Fakeproducts

[theofficersacademy]

                                Julius   Sophia   Julia   Tharja                           Marianne   Nino   Phina   Felix  Flayn                                Sara   Eliwood   Ephidel   Hilda

TEAM TAG: #KEflood2023 BASE CAMP PROGRESS: 30%

WEEK THREE: The storm is at hand.

Just as quickly as they’d grown agitated, the spirits of the underwater graveyard below calm, either pacified or subdued by your efforts... all, save for one, that is.

As the skies grow darker, one wisp burns all the brighter. They must not be ready to move on quite yet, Blank theorizes, and then promptly goes about their own business of tending their garden of water lilies, clearly unbothered by the presence of yet another unexpected guest. They’ll leave when they’re ready, after all.

Everyone always does.

It begins to rain, it begins to pour. It’s windy. Your shelter threatens to take off into the night.

Food consumed over the past two weeks: all of your fish and birds and 10x herbs, oh no!

Places & Things of Interest

your Camp - It’s windy and cold. Your make-shift shelter was coming along, pretty colourful cloths and wood slapped together painting something of a quaint picture, but now it threatens to take off into the night! Hope you like huddling close together for warmth. 

the “Chapel” & Graveyard - The shadows and wisps have wreaked much havoc over the area during their scuffle last night. There isn’t much to look at here anymore.

the Study - “Reading is for nerds,” Blank had offered oh so helpfully last week. This week, however, a new book in your collection catches their attention. “... I had been wondering where that old thing went!”

The journal is not as ‘blank’ as was advertised in the vending machine, it turns out. They offer to translate.

        Evening: Another fight with ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊. She told me that I will kill her brother the same way I did their mother. I am a coward, it’s true. She says that I have no right to be her mother. That, I won’t accept. She will always be family to me, regardless of what she says.

It seems to be but a partial entry... Though a few pages later, there is another:

     Our souls are blighted, our spirits broken.      We are but seven now.

Myself (75)

▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊(68)

▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊ (17)

▊▊▊▊▊▊▊ (22) though she yearns for death after ▊▊▊▊ was lost

▊▊▊▊▊▊▊(35)

▊▊▊▊▊▊(12)

▊▊▊▊▊▊(10)

and ▊▊▊▊▊▊

Half of us perished to the Flood and the journey. Their names, so that I may never forget them:

▊▊▊▊▊(9)

▊▊▊▊(3)

▊▊▊▊▊▊▊(5)

▊▊▊▊▊(6)

▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊ (29)

▊▊▊▊▊▊(129)

▊▊▊▊▊(148)

        We must go on, but not like this. Our pain is too great, we lack the strength and willpower needed to survive the winter here. ▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊▊ had this idea…          A  ██████████████ sounds ludicrous on paper, but I believe her idea is sound. By ██████████████ with magic and ██████████████, we can ██████████████. When spring comes and we’re ██████████████, it will be bitter, but by then we will remember why we came all this way…          As the oldest, our magic stores will be ██████████████ and ██████████████. I dare not even think of what would happen ██████████████ should the magic falter. ▊▊▊▊and I will likely ██████████████, but it will all be worth it. I want my future self to know that whatever happiness ██████████████ is my reason for doing this.

Did Blank write this, you ask? Pffftt, of course not! They simply copied it into the journal at some point, since they were bored and a little bit lonely. It’s an interesting entry to spin stories out of, no? Ah, to have family...

the Teleporter - It seems this can be used to send objects somewhere, and also to receive them... but where are they going? Who is it on the receiving end? ... Of note, every time the strange machine is used, its light appears to dim just a little bit more...

the Abyss - Pitch black as ever, but then, so is everything else. If only you had some light…? Something nice and solidly bright, that might work underwater. . . Blank remembers there used to be something like that, back in the day. Some strange round device you could point and click and behold! Light! ... Too bad there aren’t any of those around here. (Also, they’ve heard tell some of you were thinking of using the blooms, and while they commend your creativity and more than encourage you to go ahead with it if you’d like-- they suspect you might attract the attention of the shadows with those...) Ah well! No risk, no reward, yes?

NPCs of Note

Blank - They still kind of want to race sculls, but it’s gotten a bit dark for it, unfortunately. (Show them your Jackie Seagull pins. Do it. They will be absolutely delighted, promise.) It’s gotten dark out in the midst of the storm, but they don’t seem to pay it much mind in their comings and goings.

Wisp - A mournful, shapeless creature that does not yet wish to leave this plane. It regrets, regrets, regrets so much... For now, it is content to bask in your general company. It does not speak, but it transmits emotion well enough. Lingering regrets mix with the faintest sliver of hope... hope that it will one day be allowed to cross over. But not yet. Not yet.

Tasks

Setting up base camp - every 1 post = up to 7% of progress, capping at 100% - requires up to equivalent of 7 planks, sheets of cloth, or combination thereof per post - Rumour has it reaching 100% may yield something beneficial... But as things are, you may wish to strive for adequate over perfection, before the storm undoes all of your hard work!

Scavenging / Foraging / Diving / Fishing / Hunting - see week one tasks - visibility is much poorer now, but where there’s a will there’s a way, yes?

All above tasks (minus setting up camp) now require 2x Blooms in order to have light enough to manage. Except you guys bought a lantern, so ayy!

Crafting: One of the books in the study denotes the makings of a vulnerary (oh so helpfully translated by your good friend Blank). Five of the Herbs you’ve been gathering ought to do the trick! Along with one two Blooms!

#toakeraselephas2023 #KEflood2023

[gillespiechaney67]

What Are Android Tablets And A Person They Succeed?

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#PLANTS VS ZOMBIES BATTLE FOR NEIGHBORVILLE Crack

[theshadowrealmismyhome]

Yugioh au where in the first episode Seto never reveals he’s actually a jackass to Yugi because he’s just so earnest and looking up at him with those big ol’ eyes that make Seto feel so so guilty, so the series continues with Yugi thinking Seto’s this big softy who has trouble making friends because he’s a bit shy but everyone else knows that dude is a competitive so-and-so with a penchant for violence who wouldn’t hesitate for a second to sell out their souls as well as his own to win a children’s card game

Yugi introduces him like “This is my friend Seto! He likes dueling, and he’s so nice!” and the people he’s introducing him to look at Seto who’s standing behind Yugi with the aura of “I’ll rip out your spine through your kneecaps if you look at me wrong” and just know that he’s nice to Yugi only

#yu gi oh #yugioh #seto kaiba #yugi mutoh #yugi mutou #yugi moto #hello everyone I am regrettably still alive #I keep starting projects that are too much for me to handle and then I end up abandoning them with nothing to show for my effort #but I’m not gonna give up my current projects!!! #so my appearance in the future may be lacking as my time will be consumed by my projects #anyways #I can’t stop thinking about how much it messes me up that Yugi was so unaware in that first episode #he just wanted to be friends!!! #I love seto but he is a jackass at times if we’re being honest

[cloudyevaa]

— warning!!! spoilers for the 2.1 genshin impact archon quest, and a lot of disappointment up ahead. also disclaimer: i am not by any means qualified to give this criticism lol this is just my take and my opinion on the quest's execution, and i need a place to rant.

I can't be the only one who feels very conflicted about the 2.1 archon quest, right??

I think one of the appeals of inazuma's main story was the fact that there was a war, an ongoing conflict between a nation and its deity - the fact that the archons' moralities are not so black and white as we'd thought is hammered home by the dictating reign of the raiden shogun, in contrast to both rex lapis and barbatos, who have directly aided the traveller in their previous endeavours.

the 2.1 archon quest, though?? it feels as if ei is played off to just be a lonely and misunderstood deity, and she so easily changes after... what? yae miko visits her in her realm of euthymia? the shogun knew of the repercussions of the vision hunt decree, the tenryou commission's involvement with the fatui, and even the civil war.

so why was the plot building up to the reveal that the raiden shogun may have just been mislead by false commission reports? what difference does it make that both the tenryou and kanjirou commissions have betrayed the shogun if she already knew they colluded with the fatui?

I hold nothing against ei's character — in fact, I love the way her ideals seem perfect on paper, but works in detriment to the very people she wants to protect. I love that she struggles to understand how eternity is not stagnation, and that growth is the only thing that will stay forever unchanging, because all moments are fleeting, and all life ends.

but mihoyo makes it extremely hard for me to enjoy her story completely when all we do is fight her and rely on the power of friendship vision bearers' ambitions to change her mind about the vision hunt decree. like, ,, what gives?? everything happened so quickly, how could she so easily throw away the ideals she's been so adamantly holding onto for decades?

I haven't done her story quest, but it looks like she's not even being taken accountable for being the spearhead in a literal civil war. all those vision bearers who lost their lives ( including kazuha's friend ), all the common people she has harmed because of her tunnel vision - she lifts the vision hunt decree and she is suddenly absolved? of course, I don't want a perfect morally good character, but at the very least mihoyo can show us that she is not so perfect so as to suddenly change her mind about the vision hunt decree and sporadically feel compassion for the very people she knows she has harmed.

I'm sure people are also really shocked about signora's death - I am too. I was never a fan of signora but her presence was always filled with mystery, intrigue, and an impending sense of doom. she was that antagonist - beautiful, hauntingly cruel, and jam-packed with unknown backstory ( as seen with the crimson witch and pale flame artifact set lore ) that I thought was going to be further explored on future quests. but?? she??? just???? dies???? and for what?

I don't mind if she dies ( in fact, I would like for an opportunity to use traveller to execute her myself ), but the fact that her death brings no substance to the overarching story, especially since scaramouche just. got the gnosis from yae miko. like, mihoyo can do signora MUCH better than this. she deserves a glorious death as a fleshed-out antagonist, yet I felt nothing for her, not even the slightest bit of satisfaction, when she disappeared into ashes.

and scaramouche. I like the guy, he's funny-looking, and kind of sadistic. the fact that he was appearing in inazuma was a welcome surprise. it made sense, considering he was confirmed to be from inazuma, and there were theories about he and the shogun's similar appearamces which I eagerly consumed. but he appears for like, 3 minutes, and then we're KNOCKED OUT???? seriously???????

when yae miko suddenly appeared I actually thought she'd betrayed us and was working with the fatui. but then she wakes us up, tells us nothing about the SINGLE MOST important exchange in the whole quest until AFTER the main conflict is resolved, and just dumps scaramouche's identity on us as a SIDE COMMENT. what is this tomfoolery??? we weren't even there to see it? at least give us a cutscene explaining what went down, because this was LITERALLY one of the most important parts of the entire archon quest, and one of the recurring goals of the traveller.

also, can we talk about the resistance? oh wait a minute, we can't, because they literally did nothing. absolutely nothing. they contributed a total of 0 times the whole quest. only teppei was a memorable figure, and he had more lore than the upcoming 5-star master strategist of the whole army; kokomi.

as a person who loves kokomi, i am devastated by the lack of actual role she holds within the plot. she is a famed strategist and the only reason the resistance has been holding out for so long, as kujou sara said herself. but she's not given so much as a 30-second fight scene, and we never see her cunning wits on the battlefield - we probably never will. why, you may ask? well, because the freaking war is OVER. because baal just decided to stop the vision hunt decree.

i sincerely hope there will be more substantial kokomi content during her banner where we get to see her shine, seeing as it seems that mihoyo is already nerfing her abilities and focusing their efforts into promoting ei instead.

however, seeing as the main inazuma conflict ( the vision hunt decree ) is already over and dealt with... what the frick is kokomi supposed to bring to the table??? 😃 the one character i feel that shone throughout the quest was kujou sara, who had actually had a set-up for potential character development from the previous patch. but even then she's rendered unconscious by signora in front of the archon she is the loyal right-hand of??? like y'all pls tell me I'm not dreaming.

I loved the graphics, the concept, the lore - but the execution fell flat and felt terribly rushed. I wonder if it's because mihoyo is very insistent on hyper-fixating upon the raiden shogun this update.

anyway, that was a long tangent lmao. if you enjoyed the quest, good for you!! I enjoyed it, too; but my enjoyment is far overshadowed by the glaring issues that i had with it. i'd love to hear other people's thoughts about the quest.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin 2.1 #some things about this quest just genuinely confuse me #genshin baal #genshin signora #genshin scaramouche #feel free to discuss/disagree #maybe signora could come back but like lmao look ar her ashes yall. we even got her crown #also soomething i thought was acc interesting was the purple fog scaramouche. Uh. released??? #that sounds weird but #its interesting and i might elaborate in another post lol #genshin archon quest #— genshin anecdotes.

[potteresque-ire]

This is a response to @rainbowsky​ ‘s questions about BJYX, as the original post got too long for reblogging (I hope this is okay!). 1) Should we be worried about GG and DD being outed? I often think about what it’s like to be in the closet and I know how it feels to need to be SEEN. But I also understand the reasons why that might not be an option for them. Still, I worry about them being involuntarily outed. There are so many antis after them.

 2) What would you speculate is the likelihood of this ever happening, and what might be the consequences if it happened?Is leaving an option for them, even as a distant goal years from now?

3)Does their fame and popularity hold any protective power in the situation (i.e. if they were to come out or be outed, would public opinion about what might happen to them have any impact on the outcome given the nature of the regime)? To what degree would that depend on how much money they are still able to make for interested parties?

My response is under the cut, as it got long, as usual ~

@rainbowsky, you’re among the first BXGs I followed! I’d like to thank you for your insightful posts as well!

Your questions ~ I don’t think I’m qualified to speculate because I’m still a very new turtle and also because of the volatility as well as inconsistencies of China’s sociopolitical policies. I do have a better sense of China’s politics than most international fans, but I also don’t live there and the only way to truly understand how things work at the ground level in a non-transparent country like China is to be there.

(For example, China has officially banned Christmas celebrations  for the last several years, but as we saw last week, commercials remain very “Christmas-sy” and Chinese fans happily said Merry Christmas to each other. It takes someone who lives inside to know where to draw the line — what is permitted by the state and what isn’t — when the line shifts and adjusts accordingly.)

Here’re my thoughts, as of today (2020/12/31): if the perpetrator is only some segment of the fandom and the purpose is merely to knock them off the popularity pedestal, outing isn’t a particularly effective way to do so. Homosexuality, being a highly regulated subject in Chinese news and social media, is likely to mean limit transmission of the accusations. The accuser also has to run to risk of being banned themselves first. Also, with BJYX + ZSWW + LSFY being the sizes they are, the people who will most consider turning against gg and dd, ie, the solo fans, have probably already heard something. Some will leave, but the news won’t be a bombshell to them.

The next possibility is if a legal case becomes possible, ie. if China suddenly outlaws homosexuality. This scenario may seem the most dire on the surface but is also one that I least worry about, because with China’s judiciary system being very biased to those in power, if someone wants to frame gg and dd, they do not need to use sexuality as the accusation and subject themselves to the same restrictions as mentioned above. Tax evasion, as @peekbackstage has mentioned with the actress Fan Bing Bing, is far easier, because it tends the turn the audience against the defendant: these stars are making so much money and yet they’re not contributing their share! And as long as the accusers have sufficient power — remembering that commercial and political power are married in the country — the accuser can make up any evidence to suit their needs for any crime.

The third possibility is what I see as the worst case scenario: that the government decides they don’t want their major stars / entertainment industry to be *perceived* as queer — whether the stars are officially out doesn’t matter — and signals the media and commercial companies to stop using any “suspect” star altogether. (Chinese term: 封殺). This is the case of career murder without blood —  laws aren’t changed; all the fans will hear are rumours confirmed by nobody. I see this as a possibility because of the Xi regime’s view of The Ideal Men , and my admittedly limited experience with dealing with older generations of Chinese, who I’ve found tend to confuse perceived femininity in men with queerness. I think, and this is only my opinion, that the sheer amount of adapted BL dramas in production (the so-called “dangai 耽改 101” phenomenon) and the heated discussions of them on Weibo will at some point trigger the government (which is made mostly of older generations Chinese). Even if gg and dd don’t do anything, should the government decide these adapted BL dramas, even after the elimination of their queer element, are “non mainstream socialist core values”, all the major people involved with the Untamed—arguably the classic and the drama whose success all these follow-ups are trying to imitate—can be cast as the culprit. If the same officials become aware of BJYX and if they’re somehow convinced that BJYXSZD, it can be easy be used as evidence of the bad influence these dramas can do—“they can turn people gay”—and it doesn’t help that according to reports, gg, at least, used to have a girlfriend.

Something more to consider: Gg and dd are also in a very special position now, in that not only are they immensely popular in China, no other native mainland Chinese stars have achieved this level of international fame with a native mainland Chinese production (ie, not a production from Hollywood, Hong Kong or Taiwan, or with a Kpop band). As such, they are likely subjected to high levels of scrutiny from the state. Depending on who’s in charge in the appropriate department, they may decide gg and dd have to be China’s image; they may have a set idea of what image it is and most likely, it won’t be queer. 2021 and the first quarter of 2022 are special times for China, image wise, both at home and abroad. 2021 is the 100th anniversary of the Chinese Communist Party, and gg and dd are both starring in its propaganda productions (dd as a police in BAH and gg as an army officer in AT). CCTV, the state-controlled TV station, is already promoting these shows. So, for 2021, gg and dd are slated to not only be the faces of Chinese entertainment, but also the image of Chinese uniformed forces. If gg and dd come out or are outed, their allowing themselves to be being perceived as queer while donning uniforms will most likely to be viewed by the current regime as an embarrassment; a career murder, then, is an apt response to such transgression. 2022 is the year of Beijing’s Winter Olympics, so again, it’s the time where image matters.

You may have noticed a pattern, as I have as I write this up: them being outed is something to worry about, but also ... nothing more than anything else. If someone wants to tear gg and dd down — and there will be, given their massive commercial power right now and the increasing evidence that they’re working more like collaborators than competitors (ie, they aren’t about to tear each other down any time soon) — they do not need their sexuality as a reason.

(And if these accusers really want to use homosexuality as a reason, the unofficial BTS is, IMO, more than enough, as long as the accusers have sufficient power.)

Your other question ~ can gg and dd’s fame, popularity, and ability to draw consumers protect them? My (slightly) educated guess of the answer, then, is that it’s very much a double-edged sword. Indeed, the one major thing that may be going for these adapted BL dramas, and for those who come to superstardom to it — with gg and dd being the prime examples — is the economic health of China, which, by some reports that can no way be verified, are far worse than what has been reported. This is the thing about countries lack transparency; without reliable news, there’s no way to get the facts. Reports on China outside the country tend to be either propaganda or demonising / filled with conspiracy theories, and the truth is probably somewhere in between. If the reports of poor economy are true, the commercial sector — which, again, is tied to those with political power; ie the money made in the former goes into the pockets of the latter — desperately needs stars like gg and dd to move products (based on those recent consumer reports!) and with that, it will want to keep gg and dd and these dramas that can potentially make more gg and dd around. This *seems* to be what’s happening so far, with the the state-run media happy to show gg and dd’s dramas (when it should know, at least, that they got to the height of their fame playing lovers-not-lovers) and gg and dd’s sponsors not-so-subtly wooing the BJYX segment of fandom, so I’m tentatively optimistic. However, the current regime has also shown a willingness to sacrifice the economy for the sake of political ideology, so it’s not something to be taken for granted. (What’s going on in Hong Kong is a good example of that.)

(I always think, eat each candy like it can be the last one. With this regime, it can be. We can wake up tomorrow and gg and dd have to break up BJYX to protect the fans.)

(I always think, treasure, treasure, treasure. Ask for more dy and lz and Weibo posts, but never anymore from gg and dd when it comes to insights of their relationship, even without considering it’s actually their private lives and they’re under no obligation to share.)

(They’ve shared with us far more than enough.)

There’s really no precedence for us to predict the future of an outed gg and dd from, as far as I know. Confirmed queer stars in Chinese entertainment (those with sufficient followers to make news) have all been from Hong Kong, Taiwan and other countries. The successful BL dramas before The Untamed — Addicted (2016) and The Guardian (2018) — didn’t have a real-person cp that truly took off. Addicted, a true BL drama (ie, it retained the queer elements), was banned before it finished its broadcast. The two actors were also banned from appearing together afterwards, and this “signal” from the government almost cost the two actors their career. Bai Yu from The Guardian, meanwhile, already had a girlfriend as he filmed, so there was never a Weibo supertopic dedicated to him and Zhu Yilong. gg and dd, along with their millions of turtles, are treading untrodden ground.

Something I should clarify ~ all the things I said above may sound very scary to international fans, but to those who live in the country, they understand it as the way things are, and they strategise and move accordingly. This is their way of life. What I wanted to say, in my first reblog, is that we who’re outside may not understand why they do things the way they do, why they don’t, for example, come out with all the candies they are spending so much effort to give out, but I do believe that gg and dd have a plan, not in the sense that they’re scheming or trying to trick anyone, but that they are moving things along at the pace necessary to meet the pre-requisites for the outcome they want. What this outcome is is anyone’s guess, mine being that they have the freedom to work together, not necessary in lover’s capacity — most of us are not required to perform our day jobs carrying our identity as so-and-so’s significant other and gg and dd shouldn’t be exceptions — but as colleagues, professionals and friends (lovers are friends). 

To some international fans, this may sound implausible, ridiculous: why do they need a multi year campaign for something as simple as this? As working together again? And I suppose, all these words I’ve typed so far is my attempt to answer this question, to ease the … unease, the frustration of those who may not understand. True to its marxist root, perhaps, many things that are considered mindless, effortless tasks elsewhere somehow become battles, grand struggles of sorts in China. That sea of sea lights on the night of Tencent awards, for example? It was the result of gg’s fans fighting, strategising in real time to smuggle those LED banners in when they realised the venue had forbidden their entry. They wrapped the banners around their bodies under their underwear because they were patted down by security at the underwear level; they hid batteries in their shoes. They ran batteries from one zone in the stadium to another during the whole show for whose who only managed to smuggle in banners or batteries. They fought the security guards inside the stadium, who continued to snatch away their banners even after seeing they were merely support material for the idols. They fought and fought, despite their identities were recorded by their COVID pass and facial recognition. Many confessed they had no idea what gg was singing during the show; they were too busy. They were there, some paying scalpers > 10x the ticket price, just because they promised the sea of red would be there for gg when he returned. When some realised dd’s banners were confiscated in high numbers because his fans happened to have seats right by the strictest security, they improvised, found an image of a green block to show on their cell phones to make makeshift green support lights for dd. They used Weibo to spread this trick to fellow fans. All these trouble, all these effort, all these planning and scheming and sweat and tears — all for one night, one concert and they laughed about it, called it a wonderful day.

(There are many ways for lives to be hard.)

The very first thing gg and dd need to accomplish, therefore, isn’t to announce what they do in the bedroom—the very first thing they need, for their plan to come to fruition, is to stay on top of the industry. How can they be on the same stage for the yearly Tencent Awards if either of them fails to make VIP? What’s their negotiation chip for a future collaboration, when the current norm is against cps like them working together again, if they cannot draw enough viewers and consumers, or if they offend Tencent and other media companies by refusing to see to the needs of the other side (for example, the need to promote new dramas)? So far, the two of them have accomplished this in flying colours. The other thing they need right now, the way I see it, is for their fans to get along. I think part of the reason they’ve made BJYXSZD so easy to believe in and love, in addition to their very human need to be seen when their careers may be safer otherwise (yes, I think they know what they’re doing, the candies they’re throwing), is because they want their fans to unite, as they have united. To make sure something like 227 cannot happen again, or at least, if it does happen again, their fans cannot be used as an excuse, as scapegoats. And this union is happening — slowly, but it’s happening. The size of BJYX (>2.8 million as of now, on Weibo supertopic) is a powerful indicator; I also had a wonderful time reading the comments of gg’s solo fans who went to purchase dd’s new song. This is the part gg and dd need their fan’s help. This is the one of the fews things we, as overseas fans who have limited access to their products, can help.

Your final question — sorry, this is getting so long again — about leaving. Of course, it’s always up to the government and It’s impossible to say what can happen so far ahead. But my perception, right now at least, is that gg and dd have no intention to leave, no intention to sacrifice their career for their personal lives and vice versa. After all, this is a pair who has answered those A vs B choice questions with a straight-faced “I want both” and “so annoying” without a follow-up reply. They’re right to want both. I like them for wanting both. And maybe, with their intelligence, charisma and hardwork and ambition and personalities that seem to clash but somehow complements each other’s, they will figure out a way. Maybe they are, as the Chinese turtles call them, the Chosen Pair, and they will be the ones who’ll change the perception fo queer artists in China, and we’ll one day get a biography about them and laugh at the candies we get right, laugh harder at those candies we get totally wrong.

(Dd ~ I want your honest opinion, in your own words, on the ones we get wrong.)

(Gg ~ videos of your expressions while reading the crazy theories the first time will be very much appreciated. By me.)

It’s a good day to look forward to.

#bjyx #yizhan #pie metas

[dhwty-writes]

On the Benefits of Trancing

This is a bit late, but was in fact written for Day 2 of sgtober, Can't Sleep. It's very fluffy, have fun reading! 

Summary: There are several reasons why Essek prefers trancing over sleeping. Firstly, as difficult as it may be to leave yourself vulnerable for eight hours at a time, he finds it even more challenging to imagine his friends defenceless. Secondly, sleep, inevitably, will give birth to dreams. And no matter if they are foul or fair, they torture him all the same. And lastly, well—.Essek reminisces about the strange habit of sleeping and his even stranger habit of sharing his bed with Caleb whenever he can't sleep.

Warnings: None, as far as I’m aware

Read on AO3

Sleep is a curious thing, Essek muses, that he doesn't understand and hasn't particularly cared for up until this point. It is a childish thing, and wild and vulnerable and oh-so terribly time consuming. Truth be told, for most of his life he has pitied the other races who are forced to bow to the whims of nature in that way.

Like so many things, that changed when he met the Mighty Nein. Well, not when he met them necessarily—back then he may or may not have been quietly plotting their demise for returning his carefully stolen beacons—but certainly when he started travelling with them.

As many aspects of elven cultures are, trancing is a solitary activity, a silent contemplation of one's most private thoughts to better cope with them. Shock and surprise don't even begin to cover his feelings when Caleb first cast his dome and Essek found out that sleeping, as many things for the Mighty Nein, is a rather communal event.

He had eight whole hours to come to terms with those implications—did they not realise what it meant, the trust one had to place in another to sleep in front of them? Did they not care? Or did they, by some miracle, in fact trust him that much?

When he came out of his trance the next morning, he realised some of the members of the Nein had moved during the night, curling closer to and around each other. Cuddling, they called it, and Essek's pity melted away, turning into something more bitter, more poisonous. Envy.

There is something about sitting upright, floating a few inches off the ground while surrounded by people holding each other that can make you feel so incredibly lonely, and that has to say something. Nearly a century of solitude spent between too-large, too-empty towers, too-secretive and too-pious schools, and a too-scheming and too-paranoid court have never left him feeling as isolated and bereft as that morning with the Nein did.

Of course, back then he didn't have the words to describe the feelings swirling in his chest. Nor did he have the words to ask for them to include him in their affections, lest he be presumptuous. That, to quote Caleb Widogast, takes time. Surprisingly little of it, if he is perfectly honest.

A few months down the line, he stopped floating while trancing and when he resurfaced the next morning, he found himself leaning against Fjord, who had taken the last watch. When he jerked away in embarrassment, Fjord blinked awake, too, a disgruntled look on his face, growling that he should stop moving around so much.

Despite his shame, Essek complied and held completely still until the rest of the Nein woke up. After that, he began to dabble into the casual intimacy his friends share. He even tried to sleep, occasionally.

In the beginning, he felt very self-conscious about it. He would wake up with messy hair, or drool on his pillow, or, worst of all, tucked close to Caleb. Another effect of the Mighty Nein, though, is that they very quickly rid you of your sense of shame. So, he no longer cares if he looks a mess, if his clothes are rumpled, or if he's getting spit on Veth's backpack. Just the last thing he can't help but feel embarrassed about.

There are several reasons why he still prefers trancing, though. Firstly, as difficult as it may be to leave yourself vulnerable for eight hours at a time, he finds it even more challenging to imagine his friends defenceless. He much prefers being able to watch over them for at least half of that time.

Secondly, sleep, inevitably, will give birth to dreams. And if sleep is childish, wild, and vulnerable, dreams are tenfold so. He often contemplates his crimes during his trances, as well as the discarded timelines, the lost possibilities that could have led to even more death, destruction, and despair. He frequently considers members of the Assembly lording their victory over him, disposing of him, torturing his friends. However, in his trance, he can choose to abandon these timelines. Dreams offer no such luxury. Once in their cruel grasp, you have no choice but to see them through.

Nightmares are one thing, but dreams are another. Even the pleasant ones often come unbidden, worming themselves through his subconscious to pluck out— What exactly Essek should call them, he isn't sure. He wouldn't dare name them wishes or hopes, for that would imply a certain level of possibility for them to come true. These visions are desires, more like, though that term implies a certain passion that does not fit the circumstance.

These unsought fantasies often include the Mighty Nein, years or decades from now. How they would still seek him out, include him in their midst. He dreams of feasts and festivals, of hugs and humour, of truthfulness and trust. And then there are other, even more forbidden dreams featuring him and Caleb. He dreams of soft kisses and gentle caresses, lazy nights spent in the tower reading books, of research and adventures and normalcy, of waking up as close to each other every day as they do from time to time on accident. He would love his future to look like this, but he knows there is a very little chance for that.

So, no matter if the dreams are foul or fair, they torture him all the same.

And lastly, well—

There is a knock on his door and Essek's heart lurches. "Come in," he calls as calmly as he can manage, forcing himself to slowly close the book he hasn't been reading instead of slamming it shut and scrambling to his feet.

The door opens silently, as all doors within the tower do, and Caleb slips inside. He's wearing simple sleeping clothes and Essek silently curses himself for already closing the book, so he can't even pretend to read that instead. "I, ah— I'm sorry for intruding... again," Caleb says, self-consciously tugging at his sleeves. "I hope I didn't wake you?"

"Not at all," he answers, barely keeping himself from saying: 'I was waiting up.' Instead, he opts for: "I was still reading."

"Anything interesting?"

"Are you trying to tell me that you have stored uninteresting books in your mind, Caleb Widogast?"

"Plenty," he deadpans and Essek chuckles.

"It's called The Creation of Silver." He turns the plain cover over to Caleb, to jog his memory. Based on what he could gather by skimming the first pages, it promises to be a rather run of the mill romance novel following the story of a Dwendalian noble trying to escape their arranged marriage. "So far, I find it quite entertaining."

"Ah, yes." Caleb quickly glances away, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. "Have you reached the part where Stefan leaves for the city yet?"

"I have not."

"Then I will not spoil you." Another tug on his sleeve. "The plot really picks up at that point."

Essek tilts his head to the side, studying Caleb. According to the clock in his room, it is past midnight, which is quite late for the human to still be awake. Yet, he is just hovering in his doorway, caught between stepping inside and leaving again. "I presume you did not come here to discuss my evening reading matter."

"Ah..." He tugs at his sleeves again. "No, I did not." As always, Caleb is as incapable of voicing his needs as Essek is.

Thankfully, Essek is not nearly as apprehensive when it comes to his friends' well-being as he is when his own is concerned. "Should you have trouble sleeping, you know you are more than welcome to stay. Seeing as we are to make progress tomorrow, I am very invested in you having a restful night."

Not being able to sleep is another thing about that practice that Essek cannot understand. Trancing is a matter of will, discipline, and tranquillity and he's always assumed sleep to be the same. He supposes it is, to some degree.

But travelling with the Mighty Nein, and Caleb specifically, has taught him that you cannot force sleep. There are circumstances under which they will toss and turn for hours, unable to find rest. Not even Beau's meditation, which he considered relatively close to his trance, seemed capable to calm a disturbed mind enough for sleep.

He has, however, also discovered that for certain members of the Mighty Nein, certain methods will accomplish the necessary peace of mind. Caduceus' tea appears to be able to work miracles, time and time again. Beauregard likes to tire herself out by running drills, while Jester usually draws in her sketchbook. Yasha tends to make flower crowns or, lacking flowers, braid other people's hair. Essek has been subjected to that numerous times so far and despite his aversion to Dynasty braids, he doesn't hate it. Fjord usually ties sailor's knots, and Veth sorts through her various collections.

Caleb, though? Caleb, for some reason, only needs another person to fall asleep next to. And for some reason, despite the numerous options he has, he chooses Essek more often than not. Not that he's complaining, of course. In fact, he may enjoy it a little too much.

Caleb laughs quietly as he often does at their antics. They have long since learned the rules to this strange game they are playing. "Well, if you put it like this..." he says as he rids himself of his slippers—Hausschuhe, he has explained to Essek, a very important part of Zemnian culture—and puts them next to Essek's. "I would hate to disappoint you, Herr Thelyss."

'You couldn't,' he thinks as he pulls back the covers. Instead, he says: "Indeed." As always, he freezes in place when Caleb joins him on the bed, scooting closer until they are nearly touching. Being this close to each other is not getting any less mortifying, no matter how long it has been since Caleb first came knocking on his door.

He still remembers that night in vivid detail. As so often, Essek has been reading and just got up to get a cup of tea. When he stepped out of his rooms, he nearly collided with a wizard who had convinced himself that his suffering wasn’t important enough to trouble him with. “Do you want to come in?” he said to his own surprise. To his even bigger surprise, Caleb accepted.

They sat on Essek’s couch and talked about everything and nothing at once. Hours later, with his throat gone dry, Essek asked: “Shouldn’t you be asleep by now?” The moments the words left his mouth he knew he’d said something wrong.

Caleb shot to his feet as if burned and Essek followed suit. “I am so sorry, friend. I will not continue to disturb you any—”

“Where are you going?” he interrupted him, perhaps a little irritated. “Give me some credit, Caleb Widogast; I am capable of far subtler ways to rid myself of an unwelcome visitor. Which you are not.”

He laughed self-consciously and said: “Regardless, I should go and rest. Schlaf gut, Herr Thelyss.”

“You could stay,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “I mean—I noticed your sleep to be more restful when you are around others. I am aware that I am not your first choice, but since the others are not here—You’re welcome to stay, if it at all helps.”

Caleb hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Certainly.”

“In Ordnung,” he answered finally. Essek is still glad he had thought to float for that conversation. That way, at least, his knees didn’t give out.

A short discussion about who should take the bed followed before they stubbornly agreed to share it. Essek came to regret that immediately after when he was confronted with the practical implications of ‘sharing a bed’.

“Make yourself at home,” he said. Caleb took some time to rearrange the pillows and blankets—just like he does now—while Essek hovered nearby. Literally.

It took several reminders from Caleb for Essek to not instinctively recast his floating cantrip, but eventually they managed to lie down next to each other with a minimal amount of awkwardness. They have moved past that initial apprehensiveness by now, Essek thinks while he pretends to read. Shortly after, Caleb flops down, close enough that Essek can feel his breath ghosting over his cheeks.

“Good night, Caleb Widogast,” Essek says, stubbornly staring at the pages and nowhere else. "Do you want me to dim the lights?" He doesn't need them anyways; he just likes to appreciate the room Caleb made for him in all of its colours.

"No, I think I would like to read a bit. I am quite fond of that book."

"You are?" Essek looks down to him in surprise. ‘If Caleb tilts his head,’ the thought hits him, ‘he could rest it on my shoulder.’ He just thought it to be one of the countless books Caleb has read in his life, nothing special. "Why?"

He blushes again. "Ah— I think you'll see. The title is more literal than one would assume."

He considers the book once more, trying to discern what Caleb means with his words. ‘Luxon help me,’ he sends a silent prayer. It wouldn’t be the first time for him to pick up a romance novel that turns out to be quite a bit more explicit than anticipated. To think that such a mistake may have happened to him with Caleb so close—He thinks he might just combust from embarrassment.

"Do you mind flipping the page?" Caleb asks with a yawn, startling Essek out of his thoughts.

"Oh, of course," he says belatedly and turns the page. He hasn't read the last one yet, but nor has he read the one before, so it hardly matters. The novel has a rather shallow plot, so he has no trouble picking it up three pages later, and he's done so by design.

“Thank you.” He yawns again, louder this time and burrows down further into his pillows. “Gute Nacht, mein Schatz,” he mumbles and freezes as if he only now realises what he said. He seems to wait for an answer, but when Essek fails to provide a wrong one, he just smiles up at him and says: “Schlaf wohl und g’sund, bis morgen früh’s Kaffeele kommt.”

“I don’t understand you,” Essek tells him just as quietly, “but you can translate tomorrow.” After a moment of hesitation, he adds in Undercommon: “Sweet dreams, my dear. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He quickly glances back at his book before he can do anything stupid. Such as regret his words. Or kiss him goodnight.

Still, with Caleb reading along he does his best to at least somewhat read the novel. It’s a very flowery language, occasionally dropping Zemnian words Essek doesn’t know. Judging by Caleb’s grumbling at least some of them appear to be wrong. The protagonist, Stefan, seems like quite the bore. He does have a strong motivation, he supposes, to escape from the dreary life that awaits him in his arranged marriage. Besides that, and his general cold-hearted demeanour, he can’t discern any defining characteristics.

He finally reaches the part Caleb asked him about—Stefan leaving for the big city—when another character is introduced, presumably his love interest. He appears to be about as compelling as the protagonist, until— Essek snorts quietly. “Caleb Widogast,” he chides softly, “is this a love story about wizards?”

At first, he doesn’t answer and Essek briefly considers the option of Caleb wilfully ignoring him. Then, there’s a barely audible snore. When he glances down in surprise, the human is leaning against his shoulder, soundly asleep. He noisily chews on a strand of his hair, a bit of drool dripping onto Essek’s shoulder.

For a moment he can’t help but stare, a dopey smile on his face. He quickly arrives at the conclusion that something as disgusting as that has absolutely no business being as endearing as it is. But for some reason he doesn’t mind at all.

Moving carefully and slowly, in order not to disturb Caleb’s sleep, he puts down The Creation of Silver. It is getting rather late and he probably should begin his trance, if he wants to wake before Caleb's inevitable departure.

He leans back, wiggling a bit to find a comfortable position. He thinks he's doing a good job of not rousing Caleb until the human grunts quietly. Essek freezes, fearing he may have woken him, but instead of opening his eyes, Caleb just shifts closer to him, throwing an arm and a leg across his lap to hold him tight.

Essek looks down at his... friend with a fond expression. After a moment of consideration, he reaches down to brush the strand of hair behind his ear.  

Sometimes, he feels like he can barely contain all the love he feels for this man within himself. One day, perhaps, he might even find the courage to tell him so.

Zemnian Translations:

Hausschuhe - slippers. In fact a Very Important German thing. Can't wear your normal shoes indoors, so you need special house shoes. Schlaf gut, Herr Thelyss. - Sleep well, Mister Thelyss. Gute Nacht, mein Schatz. -  Good night, my darling. (lit. treasure) Schlaf wohl und g'sund, bis morgen früh's Kaffeele kommt. - Sleep well and sound until tomorrow morning the little coffee arrives. (My Caleb is Suebian now and I don't take criticism. I was writing this when I suddenly remembered this sentence my parents used to say to me and I thought if my sleep deprived brain remembers things like that, it would only be appropriate if Caleb's did too.)

#critical role #critical role fanfiction #shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #the mighty nein #my writing #sgtober2021

[shoichee]

ALSO CAN I ASK FOR SOME RANDOM GOM HCS U HAVE? like just random ones u have or if u want like some toxic hcs abt them :D

I’m assuming that I can include their negative traits of their personalities as well 👀 Also including Momoi in this… lots of analyzing for this hc, so I used my brain here pls appreciate AGAIN these are all headcanons/interpretations of possible toxic hcs about them and only a few are canon

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

Kuroko is the hardest person to find a “negative/toxic” trait in, and it doesn’t seem like he has any

kind, understanding, hardworking, and compassionate; he’s everything a good-natured protagonist is

but he’s only like this to people/hobbies he cares about/close with; anything else he’s quite apathetic and also very passive/neutral about

the biggest hint to this is when Akashi criticizes Kuroko for cherry-picking who the GoMs should “go all out against” and who to casually toy with

and Akashi is absolutely correct

most of the series is portrayed through Kuroko’s perspective, and Akashi is the first direct outside perspective who comments on his actions/attitude

it’s obviously not that Kuroko didn’t “notice”... he clearly sees and knows what these GoMs are doing; after all, he had a conversation with Aomine about how observant he is to everything around him

of course, if you were close to him, all your opinions and issues matter to him

it’s the fact that what’s not really important to him is suddenly now important just because someone he knows is involved

just an example: if someone was advocating climate change, he has no opinion on it until someone he knows cares about the issue

in other words, he has a subtle hypocritical view on things, especially when he interacts with others

another clear negative trait could be that he’s too idealistic or perhaps naive, seeing things in a clear black-or-white picture and not necessarily a gray area

WE know, as an audience, that the GoMs honestly needed therapy and a proper adult to guide their out-of-control talents

but Kuroko, in his eyes, had viewed them as “bad” and “evil” in their ways of basketball until they changed after their respective matches

he’s probably someone who doesn’t yield to other opinions once he forms his own, and this may make him unable to consider things in other people’s perspectives

which is again, ironic: someone who doesn’t have generally a strong stance but once they do, it’s very unyielding, which further proves Akashi’s comment about Kuroko’s tendency to nitpick which to care about

a final hc about a potential flaw he might have here in a different ask!

Kise Ryota

y’all… it’s as canon as day that he has a mean side

straight from the author himself, it’s confirmed that Kise is only kind to those who he respects, and to the rest, he’s cold-hearted

in the manga, it’s very clear that he’s super judgmental on every first impression on people he meets, boxing them into categories based on the way they look, act, and speak

only when they surpass his preset expectations (low or high depends on his preliminary judgments of them) is when he opens his mind to the rest of their personality

this is a very close-minded way of thinking, and I hope I don’t need to explain why LOL

this can be interpreted as him being two-faced by the majority of the people in his school

his way of speaking can definitely be very cruel and crass, and to sensitive people, his words can easily shatter hearts

Kise’s negative/toxic traits are pretty straightforward here, so let’s move on

Midorima Shintarou

his harsh words can be considered a “negative” part of his personality, but I think it’s a lot more than just that

it’s confirmed in the series that he’s a bystander and almost always minds his own business

on one hand, one can say he’s self-driven and that he constantly strives for self-improvement

on the other, it can be interpreted as him being very dangerously ambitious and selfish, in which most actions he takes are for the sole reason of self-improvement and not for altruistic reasons

for example, when he helped Kuroko and Kagami in the training camp, it was under the reasoning that them becoming stronger would be a good challenge for himself to test and learn

that’s not to say that he can’t have friends, but most friendships he’s built are with capable people who can potentially provide him with some new beneficial skill/goal to strive towards

after all, he’s only learned to trust Takao as a friend only after seeing him as someone capable

because he’s so focused on himself, he’s extremely likely to turn a blind eye to injustice, most also likely to use Oha Asa to justify their “misfortunes” as he continues on his day

he’s not cold-hearted, but altruism comes by Midorima a lot rarer than the average person

now, we know that his Oha Asa aspect is used to balance his serious side as the “comedic side” of him, but if we really think about it, his obsessions with the horoscopes could be a huge obstacle in the future, where he may refuse to listen/depend on others in favor of his own intuition and the stars; after all, no one knows everything, and depending on the stars as one’s next source of advice and guidance isn’t a sound decision to commit themselves to

he seems like the person who overthinks and jumps to conclusions when it comes to social situations, but instead of confronting the person, he turns to fate and fortune if Takao isn’t near to help

Aomine Daiki

I wouldn’t be surprised if Aomine had a skewed sense of beauty standards from all those magazines he consumed and from being around Momoi for the majority of his life

of course anyone can distinguish pieces of media from reality, but during the most impressionable years of life, without experiencing other types of people and physiques, he would have limited knowledge on what “beauty” is and whatnot

this probably would be more of a problem in his adolescence than adult

a very given negative trait is his short temper plus his tendency to turn to physical violence when someone nags him to a certain point, seen with how he’s treated Wakamatsu in the beginning (though this seems to almost disappear by the end of the series)

what I’ve noticed in every scene he’s in, is that everything seems to revolve around him and his hobbies of basketball and Japanese idols

what I mean is that everytime we see Aomine, it’s always Momoi approaching to Aomine or just him always being the center of attention; never once has he approached Momoi for anything and it’s always been the other way around

in other words, people have to cater to him in order to get along with him/be in good graces (additional example: Imayoshi letting him do as he pleases to get him to be cooperative and participate in the games)

we’ve actually never seen Momoi’s hobbies outside of being a manager for her basketball teams and just anything basketball-related

he can be quite apathetic, choosing to only pay attention and try in things he’s interested in… which is basketball and those magazines

he seems to mature in the Last Game though, so I’m not quite sure to what extent these headcanons would apply to older Aomine (these also don’t really apply to Puremine)

Momoi Satsuki

the author probably also included this type of anime trope as comedy, but belittling another female for her body is definitely a no-go in reality; I feel like this is something most people gloss over really lightly

her body comments on Riko are actually what made me skeptical of her character at first before the show really shows her entire personality

that being said, it seems that she always takes the opportunity to look down on other girls (especially to those she is a stranger to) as a sort of “competition” when there’s boys around

definitely at certain moments, she screams a “pick-me girl” type of person (real phenomenon, you can search this up!)

while Kuroko doesn’t seem to actively mind this, I think she also has no good sense of boundaries and what’s considered appropriate touch and consent; people can chalk this up to “oh it’s just infatuation,” but this definitely isn’t okay if we really think about this

her life also seems to revolve around either Aomine or Kuroko, and based from that, I’d feel like she’d have a difficult time forming her own identity/life separate from her “manager life,” especially once she graduates from Touou

can definitely be interpreted as too clingy at certain moments, while others may think it’s her way of showing that she cares

Murasakibara Atsushi

most people would chalk up Murasakibara as “lazy,” and on the surface level, it does appear to look that way…

I think his true negative trait is that he has a lack of intrinsic motivations to drive him to do things

it’s different from being lazy; someone can be lazy while still having a goal, and certainly someone can be lazy while they’re motivated by thoughts of “I want to learn more,” “I want to get stronger,” etc. (you guys, it’s me right now in college)

and he doesn’t have that

part of this was contributed to the fact that he’s already so gifted with genetics and thus, there’s never been a goal for him to have to work towards to when he’s already at the top

he doesn’t actively seek out, and while that may be a characteristic of sloth, it’s not exactly right either

he willingly does things if people around him give him the motivations/reasons to do so; a person of sloth wouldn’t do anything even with all the motivations and goals handed right to their face

snacks/food are examples of extrinsic motivations that fuel him to carry on daily life

Himuro is always the main motivator for Murasakibara to come out and watch matches, and he also does whatever Akashi orders in both Teiko and present days // a person who can give the giant the motivation to do tasks would get along with him the most

searching out for a challenge against his basketball skills is something that’s never crossed his mind

why? he grew to be like the way he is because of the lack of results from his “search” of a challenge throughout his games

again, it’s only when Murasakibara gets handed a silver-platter of a challenge, Jason Silver, that actively gets him pumped up and raring to go

as such, Murasakibara is equivalent to a rusty machine, extremely difficult to start up and find compatibility with, but very powerful and efficient once he finds that spark

Murasakibara finding any partner or friend in the future would be extremely difficult because he ticks a different tune from the rest

Akashi Seijuro

his entire Bokushi side was a giant-ass red flag for very obvious reasons LOL anyways, moving on…

it’s difficult to pinpoint a negative characteristic for Oreshi because he’s the pinnacle of a gentleman character… but that technically is also his negative trait

for him to maintain that perfect image for himself and others, he has always carried himself in such a way that doesn’t allow for errors or expressions of “weakness”

thus, bottling up his frustrations and emotions to the point of no return is something very familiar to Akashi, and I’d feel like Bokushi is the result of his overflowing emotions left unchecked in the first place

I also predict that if Akashi continues to carry himself without letting himself wind down and feel emotions on the spot rather than locking it up inside him, a day will come when he splits into two halves again with a “new” Bokushi to deal with his current life (and let the current Oreshi take a backseat in his psyche to take a break from the turmoil)

also will tend to overwork himself to manage people’s expectations as well as his own, and he’s not one to depend on people not because he sees them as inferior or incapable, but because he’s doing this out of habit from being in positions of authority and responsibility for much of his life

and so, he may tend to hide important things or just not speak about his problems in general to those close to him because he feels like he can do it all himself and spare everyone the work and stress associated with them (a leader mentality)

throughout the majority of his life being calm and calculated, his emotions would definitely escape from him in forms of uncontrollable lashes of anger… before he would realize what he’s done… that is, assuming that another Bokushi hasn’t form within his subconscious yet

#knb #knb headcanon #knb headcanons #kuroko no basket #generation of miracles #gom #teiko #teiko middle school #knb teiko #kuroko tetsuya #kise ryota #kise ryouta #midorima shintarou #midorima shintaro #aomine daiki #momoi satsuki #murasakibara #murasakibara atsushi #akashi seijuro #akashi seijirou

[ichayalovesyou]

hi you know loads of stuff about vulcans, do you know anything abt their funerals? particularly songs/poems they might recite? i know neelix sang part of a funeral dirge in voyager but i can't find any others.

Vulcan Funerals

I appreciate the compliment! Unfortunately, aside from the fraction of a funeral dirge we see in Voyager, there is little canonical information on the technical practices. However if you want a funeral dirge for T’Khasi and all the Vulcans who perished when Niro destroyed Vulcan in the Kelvin timeline, check out Nadordatoran na’o T’Khasi by T’Prion. OR if you want to delve into a modern human dirge translated into Vulcan, Denatonia did a cover of How To Save A Life by The Fray (which I nicknamed Remembering A Friend in my head, because of the slight change of lyrics in the translation).

Here is all the information we have on Vulcan funerary practices to make up for the tragic lack of canonical music! (Star Trek II & III, & Star Trek: Enterprise & TNG spoilers ahead!)

The most we know about Vulcan funerary practices we can extrapolate from Spock’s death (and resurrection) in Wrath of Khan & The Search For Spock. As well as the temples Mount Seleya & T’Karath Sanctuary, the existence of Katric Arks, and the knowledge of Surak’s Disciple, T’Klass’s body. On top of all that, parallels to human cultures.

The starting point of a Vulcan death is the transference of the Katra (if possible) or the Vulcan soul. When a Vulcan knows they will die soon, they transfer their Katra to another individual. Sarek’s accusations toward Jim in The Search For Spock, and Spock’s internal commentary in the Wrath of Khan novelization imply a few things. That the carrier of the deceased’s Katra must be trained or at least prepared, and close to the deceased, physically if not emotionally. Spock ruled out Saavik because he wasn’t prepared/close enough, and Jim because he could not get to him in time, choosing then to take the unprecedented act of placing his own Katra into a human, McCoy. I only say unprecedented because Syrran put someone else’s Katra, Surak’s, into Archer’s mind before his death, forfeiting the chance to preserve his own Katra.

It is a notable fact that Katras have a significant mortality rate, resulting in the true and permanent death of a Vulcan, especially when off-world or not amongst their own people. Many things can go wrong. A Vulcan cannot transfer their Katra if they die suddenly and unexpectedly. The Katra can also be lost if they fail to transfer it to another host properly, or if the host dies before transferring the Katra to a practitioner. Who knows how to transfer the Katra to a Katric Ark, like the priestesses at Mt. Seleya. Even then, the only known successful Katric Ark transfer and maintenance of a Katra was Surak’s, all other discovered Katric Arks have appeared empty.

That being said, there may be rituals and alternatives. Such as the deceased’s Katra selecting loved ones to be transferred to over time (whose Katra gets transferred upon death may vary) almost like a sort of Soul Swap Meet. Alternatively a ritualistic releasing of a Katra if one does not believe in the merit of Katric Arks or wish to burden loved ones/future generations with sustaining their Katra. We see evidence of the first example in The Guiding Light, when Spock transfers his deceased father’s Katra from Picard to himself. Although we do not know whether Spock still harbors it, or what became of Sarek’s Katra after the scene.

So what happens to the body once the Katra has left or is no more? The only funeral/burial for a Vulcan we see in-canon is Spock’s. His is more of a generic Federation burial-at-sea with no other Vulcans present aside from Saavik, I do not think we can use his funeral as a quintessential example. Although I do think it’s worth noting he is interred in his Kohlinar robe, this may be a legitimate practice even for those who did not complete Kohlinar to be buried in their robe, or it may have just so happened to be the most appropriate clothing he had aboard to be buried in (by human standards, I’m sure it was at least not disrespectful, I’m sure Saavik would’ve said something otherwise).

The only named body we ever see interred however is T’Klass. His mummified remains entombed at the T’Karath Sanctuary along with the Kir’Shara. This implies that mummification, at least for highly regarded members of Vulcan spiritual/philosophical society, was a sacred (if not common practice).

T’Karath Sanctuary also contains catacombs, we do not know who else is interred there, it may only be a burial place for Vulcans of T’Klass’s stature, or of slightly less importance but still revered, that are also mummified, likely not members of the common population. I have a theory based on the logical philosophy of modern Vulcan, and the way the cycles of life are regarded in the (fan authored) Kir’Shara chapter, The Thread of Life. Vulcans may actually practice a form of Sky Burial for those who are not interred with the same pomp and circumstance as the Vulcan spiritual elite. Sky Burial is a type of excarnation (removing the flesh and organs from the body before burial) practiced in Tibet on Earth, or, perhaps in addition to excarnation, Vulcans may practice cremation.

Possible Burial Styles (Fanon)

Sky Burial/Excarnation- the body is left in a chosen excarnation place (in Tibetan practice the body is taken to a mountain top, like Mt. Seleya on Vulcan) to be stripped of its flesh by natural elements, predators & carrion eaters until only the skeleton remains, which is then interred in local/familial catacombs or other burial places. This idea coming from the Logic in sustaining the ecosystems of Vulcan with the flesh that the Katra no longer has need of, the same result could come from donating one’s remains to science as well (for educational or scientific purposes), perpetuating the axiom that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, where the need for the body no longer exists other than its natural course of consumption and decay.

Cremation- Fire and heat are no rare commodities on Vulcan, and this practice could potentially be done post excarnation or perhaps in some cases instead of. The Fire Plains are a sacred place that we see in Enterprise, and are part of Falor’s pilgrimage to seek the monks of Kir in the ballad “Falor’s Journey” (as sung by Tuvok in Voyager), I could imagine it being a sacred place of cremation. Perhaps the remains are to be cremated when the Katra is lost or released, whether excarnation still occurs prior is optional. The flames consuming the organic remains is symbolic of sending the body where the Katra has gone, disseminated into infinite oblivion.

#star trek #vulcan funerals #spock #t’klass #surak #vulcan music #vulcan culture #vulcan headcanons #the Kir’Shara #vulcan sacred places #vulcan traditions #Katra #the plains of fire #Mount Seleya #T’Karath sanctuary #Star Trek tng #star trek enterprise #wrath of kahn #the search for Spock #katric arcs #cw death #cw mummies #long post cw #cw decay #vulcan #vulcans #saavik #sarek #syrran

[matthewtkachuk]

mistaken identity - jj maybank

jj mistakes you for a touron, despite the fact that he’s been copying your test answers for years and pined after you just as long. will you let him take you on a date to make it up to you and win you over?

warnings: none i don’t think

pairing: jj maybank x reader

word count: 1.9k

a/n: hello loves, despite a rude anon’s best efforts i’m still here. wrote this little something on the plane ride home yesterday night to distract me from 1) the terrible turbulence and 2) the feeling of my heart literally breaking. i’ve missed my little klepto baby, hope yall enjoy this cute lil jj fic. also 10/10 i will be calling my future sig other ‘bud’ and yes i literally wrote @girlsru1eboysdroo1into this, sue me or w/e feedback makes my heart happy.

You don’t quite know how it happened. One moment you were just the girl JJ cheated off of in math when Pope wouldn’t let him, a member of the math team and all around nobody at Kildare High. Sure, you had friends you sat with at lunch and no one really had a bad thing to say about you. Though, if one really thought about it, no one really had a thing to say about you at all - good or bad. You were the definition of a wallflower, content to sit on the sidelines, observing but never interacting fully. The next moment, you were somebody.

Contrarily, you know exactly where it happened. The same place where residents of both sides of the island come together alongside the hapless tourists with only a few goals in mind: drink, dance and find a warm body to cozy up to for the night. This location is, of course, a boneyard kegger at the beginning of summer (one of the first in fact), and those activities are, of course, not quite in line with your typical Friday night. 

It’s your best friends fault you’re here, you muse, hand wrapped tightly around a red solo cup containing three quarters of the warm beer you were handed nearly half an hour ago. You didn’t have anything against drinking, or anyone who drank, your parents were just a little more present than your classmates. You were staying over at Pen’s that night, her mom was really cool, but you couldn’t shake the imaginary hand of your parents and found yourself looking over your shoulder, prepared to drop the cup in the sand and run. Pen had been the one who was adamant that the two of you make an appearance, “you didn’t come to a single kegger last summer, and it’s our last summer before college, c’mon live a little!”. She was nothing if not persistent, and so you agreed if only to get her to let it go.

She had promised she would be by your side ‘the entire night’, but of course fifteen minutes in and she was nowhere to be seen. Also suspiciously missing, despite his two cronies still standing within your peripheral vision, was one Rafe Cameron. You didn’t know what Pen saw in him, she was the literal sweetest person in the entire world and he was... well himself. Of course no one is perfect, she did ditch you after all, and no one is entirely bad either. Since whatever was going on between them started, Rafe hadn’t been bothering you at all and you considered that a win in your books. 

Girl code and euphemisms about female friendships being more important than romantic ones aside, you couldn’t stay mad at her for long and wanted her to be happy. For some unknown reason, he made her happy and you had to support that.

You just wish she had supported you a little and been upfront about you. That way you could have been home, maybe with a book, maybe with netflix. Either way, you wouldn’t be sitting alone on a piece of driftwood slowly sipping on a warm beer as some of your classmates chatted up a group of tourons. You weren’t alone long, however.

You felt his presence before you saw him. JJ Maybank of all people sidled up beside you on the log, toe tapping and hand fidgeting with his rings as he sat silently for all of thirty seconds. Having been in the same class as the boy for more than a decade you recognized his antsy antics as ones that he often acted on in class. If you took a moment to think about it, you could admit that he was conventionally attractive, his whole devil-may-care attitude and golden surfer tan only made him all the more appealing. However, you had known the boy (or at least known of the boy) for so long, you never let that feeling grow into anything tangible. Besides, you were going to leave the small island in the fall and you were never looking back.

The silence only lasted for a minute longer before he broke it. “First time in the outer banks?” the messy blonde boy beside you asked, and you felt the scowl overtake your face.

“JJ we’ve been in the same class since the first grade, and you’ve been cheating off of me in math the entirety of our school careers,” you rolled your eyes and downed the almost full cup before throwing it to the sand and walking away. JJ stared after you with his brow furrowed, brain trying to connect the dots and reconcile you with one of his many classmates. It wasn’t entirely JJ’s (or the six beers he had consumed)’s fault, one could also blame his tardiness and absences for his lack of recognition. And of course there was the fact that you had let Pen dress you up, slap some light makeup on your eyes and curl your hair. Ordinarily the only products you bothered with were sunscreen and lip chap and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d worn anything other than a baggy t-shirt over ripped denim. So maybe you should have given the blonde some slack. 

Or not. “Y/n?” Pope asked confusedly as you stormed past him. The two of you weren’t friends, not exactly anyway, but you were both on the math team and that leant itself to a certain amount of camaraderie. At the very least, Pope remembered your name and that was more than his best friend could say. He reached out with a hand to lightly grasp your bicep, pulling you back towards him and scanning your face to see if he could figure out what was going on. “You okay?”

“Never better,” you bit back, feeling bad instantly. “Sorry Pope, your friend is just kind of an idiot.”

“What did John B do now?” Pope sighed. John B hadn’t had a lot of luck in the ladies department lately and Pope was worried about what his latest gaffe had been. Judging by the look on your face it was bad, like call you by the wrong girl’s name bad. 

“Not Routledge,” you rolled your eyes before continuing, “JJ. It doesn’t matter, Pen ditched me and I'm going home.”

Pope let you go this time, turning toward the aforementioned blond who was slowly making his way over to him. 

“Who was that?” JJ asked with narrowed, red rimmed eyes. Pope laughed out loud, knowing his best friend was about to be incredibly mad at himself. 

“How high are you? The girl you just offended was y/n,” Pope told him, causing JJ’s wide eyes to widen even further 

“Wait, y/n y/l/n? The girl of my dreams y/n y/l/n?” JJ smacked his own forehead in frustration. So that’s why you had looked so familiar. He had never seen you look so put together, and he had definitely never seen you at a kegger or under the influence of any substance before. When Pope nodded, JJ patted him on the shoulder before rushing after your retreating frame. 

He called your first name, watched as you stopped walking and stood in the sand with your back facing him. “I’m sorry, let me make it up to you.”

You turned to look at him, resting your hands on your hips. “High schools over JJ, you don’t have to pretend to be nice to me so that I’ll keep letting you cheat off me in trig.” 

“That’s not-“ he paused, eyes downcast before they flicked up to look at you. You took note of his slightly dilated pupils, the way they were rimmed with red and recognized he was under the influence of something. Gathering courage, he quickly spit out “go on a date with me.”

“I-“ you sighed deeply, eyes rolling up toward the night sky as you contemplated his offer, “you know what? Fine, one date. You better knock it outta the park and blow me away cause it’s your only shot.” You began walking away, back turned to him so he couldn’t see the small grin on your face or the way your hands shook a little. Every girl with two eyes and a heartbeat had to admit to at least a tiny crush on the reckless boy, and you had both of those things. To be asked out on a date by him made you feel special, but he didn’t need to know that. 

“Not that I need it, but you don’t believe in second chances?” he shouted at your retreating back. Without missing a beat you turned to look at him over your shoulder, “this is your second chance bud.”

A few days later had you sitting in shock and disbelief as JJ Maybank admitted his years long crush on you. 

You laughed so hard that you almost snorted, stifling the instinct with both of your hands before the sound could betray you. “You’re trying to tell me you’ve had a crush on me since we were kids? And you couldn’t recognize me because of a little bit of eyeliner?” you asked skeptically, brows raised at the boy who sat beside you on the blanket in the sand. 

“Not my finest moment,” he admitted, grabbing a grape and tossing it in the air before attempting to catch it in his mouth. It bounced off his nose and rolled into the sand, causing you to giggle. He brightened up considerably with the knowledge that he had been able to make you laugh, even if it was with his stupid antics. 

“So, your idea of flirting was what? Copying my test answers and never actually speaking to me?” You laughed at the look of indignation on his face. “You’ve got no game, bud.”

“I’ll have you know I have plenty of game, you should hear what the tourons-“ he began to brag, stopping only when you threw yourself at him, covering his mouth with your hands as you had done to yourself only moments earlier. It was only when he shrugged that you pulled back from

his personal space. 

“Pro tip for Mr ‘plenty of game’, girls don’t like to hear about other girls on first dates. Especially not girls you’ve...” you fake coughed and raised your eyebrows hoping he would get the meaning. 

“Right, sorry. You just make me nervous.” He admitted, rolling his pink lips into his mouth briefly. 

“What, why?” you asked, sitting up on your knees and tucking your hair behind your ears. 

“Are you kidding? You’re smokin’ hot and really smart. Like maybe even smarter than Pope smart,” he paused, “don’t tell him I said that.”

You laughed again, face hot from the compliment as you mimed zipping your lips, “Your secret’s safe with me, I’ll take it to the grave.”

You sat in a comfortable silence, staring at his strong side profile before he turned to you, eyes darting down to look at your lips. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, lip darting out to lick at his bottom lip. 

“Depends,” you giggled, sitting up further and wrapping your arms around his neck before whispering into his ear, “Do you remember who I am this time?”

He laughed, cheeks reddening as he returned your whisper, “I could never forget you y/n y/l/n.” 

“You better not, bud,” you replied, grinning up at him before you captured his lips with yours, eyes fluttering shut as you relaxed in his embrace. 

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[miss-choco-chips]

Twisted Soulmate shorts.

Listen, I do plan on making a sequel eventually, but in the meantime, can I tempt you with some half assed bits of Tim’s life as Ra’s Bonded/Bride/Unwilling Sugar baby? All in the spirit of putting off studying for my finals :D

~.~

“We need some ground rules”, Tim stated plainly, staring at the fiery hell in front of them. By his side, Ra’s sipped his wine glass, as cozy in front of all the destruction as one would standing by a fireplace. He looked ready to break out the s'mores. “Some Do’s and Do not’s, with penalties for each one we break. So, you know. We don’t completely destroy each other.”

“Be honest with me, Beloved, would that actually stop you from infringing damage to my properties?”

In the spirit of good sportsmanship, Tim actually thought about it for a few minutes.

~.~

Or; Tim elopes with Ra’s and commits to his role as the world’s most unimpressed, reluctant bride ‘soulmate’. Featuring Pru (who is having entirely too much fun), four little minions (whoever catches the reference and knows which fandom I stole them from gets brownie points) and absolutely no sign of any bats to spoil Tim’s fun.

~.~

~.~

The robe was green, and that was a problem. It wasn’t itchy, it wasn’t uncomfortable, it wasn’t restrictive.

But it was green.

Pru’s eyes found his in the mirror, a scowl and a smirk facing each other. Tim crossed his arms, the exquisite silk not even creasing, and his frown deepened. One of the robe’s sleeves covered him from shoulder to wrist, the other leaving the opposite limb completely bare. The intent was obvious enough, one mark on display, the others hidden away like dirty secrets. 

So why the need for that branding color? 

“Isn’t this excessive? Putting a collar on me may be easier, for his purpose.”

“Should I forward that idea to the Master?”

“Only if you want another punch to the nose.”

A snort, and Pru took the two steps keeping her at his back. Her hand dropped to his shoulder, and the expression on the assassin’s face changed to a far more serious one.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I could help you out of the base. Still owe you a few, we can call this one even for that time in Budapest.”

Tim’s scowl went away, a contemplative look on his eyes as they lowered to the ground.

“I’m not sure of anything nowadays, Pru. Except perhaps that I don’t want to wear this color.”

Her grip tightened for a second, two, three. Then, her eyes flew to the window and back to him before her next words came out, fake smirk back on place.

“Well then, the Master expects you to join him for breakfast. We’ll be moving bases soon, and I think he wanted to give you the tour before that.”

Tim’s eyes, that had followed hers to the window, stayed there, guarded and cold like they never were. He nodded.

“I’ll be there shortly. Just need to… fix my appearance a bit.”

She nodded, her smirk more sincere now, and left his bedchambers. 

The shadows jumped into the room before the door was even halfway closed.

A little over half an hour later, Ra’s Al Ghul looked up from the reports he was revising, cup of tea still untouched on the table, pastries and fruits perfectly distributed in front of him, to watch the Detective approach.

His robe was a curious maroon.

As if sensing his question, the young man took his place across from the Demon’s head, placid smile softening his features despite ice cold eyes boring into his.

“Oh, this?”, demurely, he raised the covered arm, accepting the coffee one of his servants provided. The sleeve slipped down enough to show three names on white skin, but Ra’s eyes strayed to the clothe. He knew that shade of brownish.

“I could have sworn I sent you green robes, Detective. I do wonder, where did you find a dye?”

“As I’m sure Pru can tell you, noses bleed a lot. On the bright side, you don’t have to worry about sending a clean up crew to tidy up my bedchambers. Nice morning workout, too, thank you.”

Amused despite himself, Ra’s threw his head back and laughed.

----.---

“We need some ground rules”, Tim stated plainly, staring at the fiery hell in front of them. By his side, Ra’s sipped his wine glass, as cozy in front of all the destruction as one would standing by a fireplace. He looked ready to break out the s'mores. “Some Do’s and Do not’s, with penalties for each one we break. So, you know. We don’t completely destroy each other.”

“Be honest with me, Beloved, would that actually stop you from infringing damage to my properties?”

In the spirit of good sportsmanship, Tim actually thought about it for a few minutes. “I mean, as long as you respect my boundaries, I won’t have a reason to show my displeasure.”

“And what about my boundaries? It’s only reasonable that for each rule you decide on, I get to demand one of my own making.”

“If they don’t conflict with mine, I guess I could learn to work around them. Considering what you do for a living, it’s not like you can ask for more.”

Ra’s tilted his head, as if saying ‘yeah, fair’. They watched the flames consuming one of Ra’s favored castles in silence for a while longer. The parisian authorities would be arriving soon, though no before they were ready to leave; Ra’s wouldn’t allow any interruptions. 

They were probably making the ninja standing guard behind them uncomfortable, with the silence, veiled threats and mind games. Except for Pru. She’d be thriving in her fellows’ fear. 

“Should we go somewhere more private to decide this rules, Timothy?”

A shake, long raven locks hitting the air like small whips, and the young hero turned on his heel to go back to the plane waiting for them.

“I need some time to think them over. I’ll let you know when I decide.”

---.---

Is the Demon’s Head, instead, who demands the first one.

“You will allow a squad of my people around you at all times, Detective, and you’ll let them tend to you as it’s becoming of my bride.”

“If you ever call me your bride again”, states the young man, calmly turning a page on the book he was reading, curled up in the armchair Ra’s had specifically made his men drag into his office for the sole purpose of tempting him into staying put and in Ra’s direct line of sight, “the next base I make go boom will be the one you’re in at that moment.”

“My soulmate.”

“Still creepy, but significantly less; I’ll accept it. What were you saying about bodyguards? The answer is no, by the way, but I thought it would be fair to let you explain your reasoning before shooting you down again.”

“I have no need for explaining myself; you were the one to suggest rules. This is merely the first one. As it is, and since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you that, as my bonded, you have a price in your head so high even the purest of heart man would be tempted to hunt you down. It’s merely for your safety, as I worry so.”

The dirty look the younger gives him over his book shows him exactly what he thinks of Ra’s obvious jab at his abilities and strength.

“There’s also the matter of your lack of sleep, or the blatant underweight you’re showing.”

“I don’t need a nanny nor a bodyguard, Ra’s.”

“Maybe so, but what would my enemies think of my power if I couldn’t spare a few men to protect my bonded? You can think of it as a political tactic, if it’ll lay your worries at rest. It won’t be to spy on you, as I already have a team dedicated to that.”

Not even a blink, of course he knew, he’d be an idiot to think Ra’s was giving him wiggle room without someone hounding his steps. A hum, the flicker of something behind the man’s eyes that put Ra’s instantly on guard, but not enough to help him predict his next movement.

“You know that any rule you make, I can counter with one of my own.”

“I do, and am ready to honor, as it’s the nature of our deal. I’m a man of my word.”

“Okay then”, the detective finally conceded, sitting up straight, book closed on his lap and hands resting easily over the cover. “I’ll accept your terms, and won’t give my future clique the slip.”

Despite this small victory, Ra’s didn’t allow himself to relax; now came the detective’s countermeasure.

Calmly as still water, the slim man stood up, walking towards Ra’s desk, opening the book on its first page and softly placing in on the wood between them. One slice of paper, carefully folded, gave the Demon’s Head pause.

“Since you insist this is for show, and thus not requiring specific skills on the ninja’s part, I’m going to choose who will be part of my clique. After all, I’ll be in perpetual close quarters with these people, it’s only fair I get to decide who it’ll be.”

Ra’s eyes never left the icy blue ones staring him down. It’d be a fatal mistake to let one’s sight wander when there was a viper in the room.

“Prudence is already tasked with managing your schedule, she can’t be considered among these you selected.”

“She isn’t”, was fired back. “These aren’t fully fledged ninja, they have just begun their training. As such, I can make sure their progress aligns with my needs, something that will make them more useful in the long run if they are to be my shadows. A sniper that can socially blend in as a perfect camaleon. A prodigy, both in mind games and the technological world. A mechanic well versed in a caregiver tasks. A naturally born fighter, showed proficiency particularly on swords and hand to hand. I think those four tick every box you might want to fill, don’t you?”

A few seconds pass, while Ra’s tries to think back on every newish recruit who had the described qualities. He couldn’t come with a single one. Too many variables.

Despite himself, he nods. His bonded lifts his hand from the desk, and picks up his book on his way to the door, not looking back while Ra's unfolds the list.

He feels himself freeze. 

“Children?”

Timothy has already left the room. Ra's can't help but feel pride. As foolish as he thinks his bonded's mission to be, he has to admire his dedication to it, and Timothy had just spent the equivalent of a Genie's first wish with the purpose of freeing four young ones from the League's training and future.

-----.-----

Tim is looking down at his three 'bodyguards', knowing he made the right call but still feeling the panic creeping up on him. Like, fuck, this was clearly an evil organization, as no self respecting moral one would allow him to be responsible of four impressionable, probably traumatized children.

L, P, H and K. 9, 7, 10 and 9 respectively. All sitting down, hands on their laps, eyes down. Ready to obey any order.

Fuck, he wanted to puke.

Breathing in deeply, he crouched in front of them. Tried for a smile. Too forced. Settled for a grimace.

“My name is Tim”, he started, “and you're safe with me. I'll train you, protect you from the League as much as possible, and try my best to help you escape if I find a better place for you.”

He doesn't bother lying for appearances sake. Ra's must know Tim's reasons for choosing children (too good, would be noticed soon by their teachers, would be under Ra's thumb sooner rather than later), but it didn't matter. Even if Tim managed to get them away, it was his right. For all intents and purposes, as far as the League was concerned, he owned them. Not that he was going to tell them that: if it made him sick to think that, he can only imagine that information on the children's minds. 

They don't seem to believe him, but answer honestly when asked questions about their past. L had (bravely, stupidly) sold himself into servitude to the League to help his family. P, apparently a smart cookie, was sold away by some scientific organization back home when she started asking too many question about the disappearance of her father and brother. One of H's mothers had left the League when she married, and her son was taken away as compensation in the middle of the night, when she couldn't fight back (luckily, as she'd have died and they would have still taken the kid). K was an orphan, sucked into the League too young, but saved by an older apprentice who took him under his wing: said boy was now missing, and K's obvious short fuse wouldn't stand for it long.

He wants to save these children so bad it hurts. Has to remind himself that whatever he will do about this (and he still has to think about it), he won't be able to do for a while.

----.----

He keeps some sort of schedule. Waking up in the morning, breakfast with Ra's unless previously canceled by the other man, training his new minions, break a fight between L and K, lunch, give them numerous tasks to get them off his back (keeping one close for appearances sake; they were his bodyguards after all, or would be after some training), wander along whichever base they were at the moment, tea with Ra's, picking up his brats, wander some more and some time for them to play like actual children, dinner, bed. Rinse repeat.

Some variations, however, were inevitable.

Groaning Tim rolled on his back, silken sheets under him and around his legs, to look at the four little heads waiting by his bedside, various degrees of alarm there.

“What is it?”

H's hand gripped tighter L's, who had the other arm wrapped around P. K was standing in front of them, dagger at the ready.

“The base is under attack. We await our instructions, Master.”

“Tim”, he reminded the child, before yawning.  “Who is it again?”

This time, the youngest and only girl talked. “We are not sure. Said something about The Demon's Head being their archenemy and/”

“Then it's a Ra's problem, not a Us problem. Let the man handle it, he has enough manpower as it is, and even if he doesn’t, he's due for a swim anytime now”, dropping his head and closing his eyes once again, he vaguely waved a hand in their general direction. “You guys go back to bed, just be careful and lock the door in case some of Ra's worst people let someone wander.”

“We can't possibly leave you! What if you're attacked? We'd be too far away to protect you!” K’s tiny hand tightened around his knife. “We'd fail our mission!”

Reigning in a groan, he gave it a thought. They had a point, in that were anything to happen, he risked not being close enough to keep the children safe. 

Sighing, he waved a hand again.

“Okay, you guys can stay, but we are not getting up. It's like five am, I went to sleep less than an hour ago.”

 P jumped in place and frowned at him. “We escorted you here right after dinner.”

“That you did. Anyway, cuddle piles anyone?”

L jumped right in, as he expected, worming his way under the sheets until he could cuddle to Tim's left side, dragging H behind him. P seemed to think about it, but if the dark circles under her eyes (and his informants) were to be trusted, she'd probably slept as much as him, most assuredly looking into her family's disappearance. She finally fell on his other side, instantly groaning.

K looked at all of them in disappointment, and stubbornly sat down behind P, his back to them and facing the door. Tim wondered what it would take to get the kid to chill.

Shrugging (you can't win them all), he went back to sleep.

By the time he really woke up, it was to an amused Pru holding hauntingly a camera and smirking down at him. All four kids were now cuddled around him.

“Shut up, Pru. Like you can talk. I saw you giving L that practice gun the other day, don't think I didn't.”

#twisted soulmate #soulmate au #nemesis au #Tim drake #Ra's al Ghul #Pru #four small minions Tim's gonna steal from Ra's #those are a reference to another fandom I love #brownie points to whoever notices the reference #spy vs spy kinda thing #Tim drake is an unwilling sugar baby #Ra's is all too happy to play sugar daddy for this kid #Ra's is creepy #my writting #my writing #Red robin