#so my dogs love has been tested for quite sometime now

[matchingbatbites]

sit and stay (like the good dogs do)

Explicit | 3.2k | Read on Ao3

This is my very belated birthday gift for @steves-strapcollection that I'm finally getting around to posting! Gerry, you're such a delight and I'm eternally grateful for your patience! <3

CW: Dom bottom transmasc Steve, sub top werewolf Eddie, muzzle kink, 'puppy' as a term of affection; full warnings over on Ao3

The mug of coffee is warm in Steve's hands, helping to ward off the crisp chill of the morning as he sits on the patio steps and waits for Eddie to get back from his run. The sun hasn't even risen yet, the sky around is still mostly dark aside from the gentle light of the slowly-setting full moon. 

Eddie should be back any minute now; he always comes back before dawn, always manages to find his way home before the first rays of sunlight pierce through the trees and wake the world. Steve doesn’t mind these early mornings, has found comfort in seeing Eddie off the night before as the moon rises, and enjoys waking in time to welcome him home, to help him wind down in the aftermath.

Branches snapping nearby alert Steve to Eddie's presence just as he comes stumbling through the tree line, and the human can tell even from this distance that he's still buzzing with residual energy. It happens sometimes, where the need to run and hunt doesn't get fully expelled during Eddie's full moon outings. Steve has come to love those days, where he can take those excess instincts and spin them into something they can both enjoy.

His boyfriend is still pretty wolfed out, caught somewhere between canine and human as the moon continues to linger above them, and Steve sets his cup on the ground to stand as Eddie approaches. He lifts his hands and smiles when Eddie pushes his face into them, the elongated snout definitely on the more dog side of the transformation as it snuffles into Steve's palms affectionately.

The cold nose can’t quite reach skin thanks to the muzzle strapped around his face, keeping sharp teeth away from anywhere they shouldn’t be, but if the lycan is upset by the lack of contact, he doesn’t show it.

"Hi, puppy love. Have a good run?"

Eddie gives a bright bark, and Steve can hear the swishing of his tail behind him as he presses closer to Steve’s hands. The human chuckles softly and slips his fingers through the metal grate of the muzzle, giving it a gentle wiggle to test the hold it has on his boyfriend’s face.

The gear had been Steve's idea. When they'd started talking about bringing Eddie's more monstrous side into the bedroom, the older boy had been more worried about hurting Steve than anything else - something to be expected from Steve’s absolute sweetheart of a lover. He knows from experience that a single bite is all it would take to change Steve's life, to take him from human into something other, and while Steve's isn't one hundred percent against the idea, he knows that turning him in the heat of the moment - without explicit consent - is Eddie’s deepest fear. 

So Steve had suggested a muzzle. Something to keep his teeth away from Steve's skin, to eliminate the possibility of something happening. He’d been surprised when Eddie hadn't just agreed, he'd seemed almost excited by the idea. 

They'd had it custom made, taken the measurements and sent them in to the artisan, and when all was said and done they had a solid, beautifully crafted muzzle. The strap is a buttery, brown leather that wraps around Eddie’s head to buckle in the back, and his snout sits perfectly in the cage of it, leaving him just enough room to breathe and bark freely. 

It's become part of their monthly ritual. Steve puts the muzzle on Eddie before he leaves for the night, and if he wants to play when he gets back, he has to leave it on all night, has to show Steve that he can be good and listen. And god, isn’t that a fucking thought? 

The fact that Eddie could kill him, could tear him apart with claws and teeth and leave him strewn about in pieces, but doesn’t? The fact that he instead bows his head to Steve and allows himself to be muzzled like some common mutt? That he would probably roll over and beg if Steve asked him to, Jesus, it’s a fucking headrush every single time.

(It isn’t all about their game though, if Steve is being honest. He knows that Eddie is good at controlling his urges, but some full moons are rougher than others, and the reassurance that Eddie isn't out there somewhere hurting someone makes it easier to sleep while his boyfriend is gone.)

“I’m happy to see you kept your muzzle on, Eddie. That’s my good boy, making sure you didn’t hurt anyone and coming back safe to me.”

Eddie huffs and pushes past the hands to burrow his face into Steve's neck, breathing in the scent of him before letting out a low, pleased rumble. Steve winces slightly as the metal cage digs into his skin, but smiles and slides his hands up to scratch at the base of Eddie’s ears, loving the thick shag of fur he grows when he’s like this. They stand there for just a moment before Eddie is grabbing Steve’s waist and rocking forward, and- 

Oh, hello. 

Something hot and heavy ruts against his lower stomach, and Steve doesn’t have to look down to know that Eddie’s hard.

“Oh, baby. Are you still excited from your night out?”

The lycan whines softly and Steve feels a bit of wetness on his neck where Eddie licks the muzzle cage, trying to taste Steve’s skin and barely succeeding. He can just make out the rough “Steve, mate,” that Eddie manages to get out - an accomplishment, since this form isn’t really made for talking - and offers a gentle coo in response.

“I know, puppy. You wanna fuck me, yeah? Wanna get out the last of your energy so you can sleep?” Another low whine and Steve presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s furred head. “Alright, let's get upstairs, to the den.”

A gentle tug helps Steve lead Eddie inside and upstairs to their bed, their den, so they can work off the rest of Eddie's energy. The older boy doesn’t always want this; sometimes he returns home already closer to human, lets Steve free him from the muzzle before they tumble into bed and go to sleep almost instantly. Those times are still nice, and Steve will lay awake as Eddie changes back with the sunrise, will feel the slow shift of muscle and bone under skin until he falls back asleep. 

It feels almost selfish to say that he prefers these mornings. 

Steve peels off his clothes once they reach the room - he’s learned his lesson about Eddie and the claws he has in this form - and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. His boyfriend is watching so patiently from where he stands by the door, waiting for Steve to call him over like the good boy he is, even more eager to please when he’s like this.

“Come here, puppy love,” Steve says and holds out his hands, grinning when he sees Eddie's tail wag briefly as he scrambles over to join him. He places one hand on Eddie's furry hip, tugging him even closer as his other hand moves to palm Eddie's cock without preamble. It's so fucking big like this, in both length and girth, and Steve loves it every single time. He loves the extra stretch it gives him, how fucking heavy it feels in his hands, in his mouth.

He looks up at Eddie through his lashes as he strokes his cock, his grip tight but slow as he moves from the base to the head over and over, practically milking the precum from him. It dribbles over his hand, slicking the way as he speeds up a bit, as he digs his thumb under the crown and earns a low groan from his boyfriend. Eddie is already panting in the muzzle, his clawed fingers twitch at his sides with the urge to touch, to grab, but they make no move to actually do so.

God, Steve is never going to get over how well behaved his puppy is, how well trained. He leans forward to lick over the head of his dick, getting a taste of the salt and musk before taking it into his mouth, slowly sinking onto it as his hand tightens around the rest. 

Eddie’s low grunts and groans are encouraging as Steve takes in as much as he can - nowhere near what he can usually fit in his mouth - and the heft of it has him moaning low. It’s always harder to blow Eddie like this, his mouth stretches wide around hot skin and he can’t really suck on it, only bob his head in the imitation of a face fucking.

It’s still so, so good, and when he moans Eddie’s hips jerk, sending his dick practically into Steve’s throat. The human takes it, his eyes roll back a bit as he pushes in, choking himself on it for a moment just to hear Eddie whine and whimper from how it feels.

The lycan gives a soft yelp, a wordless warning that has Steve pulling away with a gasp and a final, sloppy kiss to the wet head. “Shit, baby. Fucking love your fat cock. Want you to fuck me with it, stuff me full, yeah?”

Eddie whines again, soft and needy, and Steve grins. He turns over onto his hands and knees, and reaches back to grab the base of the plug he'd put in earlier. 

As much as he wants Eddie's literal monster cock in his pussy, the couple of times they've tried had just been more painful than pleasurable. They've dipped into some ass play before - with Eddie more than Steve, but still, same process - and when they’d tried it that first time with Eddie splitting Steve’s ass open on his cock, that had been their golden fucking ticket. 

It’s all part of his full moon morning routine now. Steve wakes up earlier than usual so he has enough time to stretch himself open on his fingers before putting in their biggest plug, letting himself adjust slowly so he can be ready for this moment.

Large hands grab his hips and tug, and Steve huffs a laugh, dropping the toy before reaching over to the nightstand for the lube. “Hold on, baby, need to add more lube first. Gotta make sure I'm ready for you, yeah?”

Eddie just growls and ruts against Steve's ass, sliding his burning, searing hot dick along the crack and pushing Steve forward with the momentum of it. Now, normally Steve loves the enthusiasm, loves how eager Eddie gets for him, but he literally just told Eddie to wait, and the older boy knows how Steve hates to be disobeyed. 

Steve holds the lube in one hand and twists his upper half so he can reach back to grab the cage of Eddie's muzzle and pull, bringing Eddie's face closer to his own. 

“What did I just say?” he asks, words clipped and firm, and the lycan whines at the tone. “Only good boys get to fuck their mates, Eddie, and you're not being the best boy right now.”

The words seem to hit home with Eddie’s canine instincts, and his ears drop in supplication as he gives a low whimper. The sound tugs on Steve’s heartstrings, and he knows that Eddie isn't trying to be bad. He can’t help the way his instincts get the better of him sometimes, how easily they can slip out of his control, so Steve decides to let it slide.

“It's okay, puppy. You're just that eager for me, yeah?” Eddie's tongue shoots out of his mouth and licks over Steve's fingers where they're hooked in the metal cage, a silent apology. ”I know. You can make it up to me later, baby.” Steve releases the muzzle and moves the hand up to scratch over Eddie's cheek briefly, a silent reassurance before he turns back to the task at hand.

He uncaps the lube and moves the whole bottle to his ass, lines up the hole with his own and squeezes a healthy amount of the artificial slick directly inside of himself - the messier the better, they've found. It's ice cold compared to the heat of his insides, and he shoves three fingers in after it, trying to simultaneously spread it around and warm it up. Eddie's hands twitch where they still hold onto Steve's hips, but he otherwise does nothing, and the human grins. 

“Wish you could eat me out, baby,” he teases, pushing his fingers as deep as they’ll go. “Love the way your fucking tongue feels when you're like this, so long and rough. Wanna feel it in my cunt, licking me so deep.”

The lycan whines and his claws dig into Steve’s skin, not quite breaking the surface but so close to it. The hint of pain makes Steve shudder and jerk, and yeah, that’s enough prep. His fingers are covered in lube when he pulls them out and he barely gets out an “Okay, Eds, come on,” before Eddie is tugging him closer to the edge of the bed. 

Steve drops his chest and shoulders to the bed, presenting himself as Eddie lines up, and then - oh god, oh fuck. The first thrust is delicious, the initial stretch always so fucking good as Eddie bullies his way inside, forcing Steve’s body to adjust to the size of him. It always leaves Steve a bit lightheaded, a little cockdrunk right from the get go.

”Oh shit, baby, so fucking big. Feels so good.” 

Eddie growls, something low and possessive, and barely gives his mate a moment to adjust before he’s pulling out and fucking back into him. The lube makes the glide slick and easy, and the amount of precum leaking from Eddie only adds to it. Steve can feel the excess fluid seeping out of him with every thrust, especially once Eddie really gets going.

It’s so easy to forget what this feels like when you only experience it once a month, so easy to forget how Eddie’s fat cock fills his ass so perfectly, how he rubs against every single pleasure point inside and makes him see stars. Steve is so greedy, though. Always wants more, wants to be completely full, stuffed to the fucking brim until he can’t even move.

Normally he would reach for Eddie’s hand, would shove those nimble guitarist fingers in whatever hole was free, trying to get that full feeling. That’s not a possibility right now, and instead Steve reaches his own hand down between his legs to where he's absolutely dripping, knows that he's probably ruining the bedsheets with how he's leaking onto them. 

He shoves two fingers inside his pussy and he's so fucking turned on that they barely even register, the stretch almost nonexistent compared to the one in his ass. A gasp catches in his throat as he pushes another in alongside the others, needing more more more. It’s so fucking good as he fucks into himself, trying to match the motion with Eddie’s snapping thrusts, and it’s enough to send him careening towards his finish.

“Fuck, Eddie, baby, 'm gonna come!”

It's a quick build up to Steve's first orgasm, Eddie’s cock and his own fingers shoving him higher and higher until he just tips over and crashes into it with a gasping, shaky moan. Eddie fucks him through it and Steve grinds his palm against his dick, barely recovered from the high yet already chasing another. 

Steve can feel himself babbling as he bullies a fourth finger into his pussy, the way easy now with how wet he is. He feels Eddie drop forward, his massive form draping over his back as he fucks into him hard and fast. Clawed hands move from Steve’s hips to his waist, and Steve moans as he’s effectively held in place and used by the hulking figure above him.

Eddie growls, his teeth snap in the muzzle as he pushes the cage of it into Steve's shoulder. The metal digging into him is a cool contrast to the heat radiating from the lycan, and it makes his head spin, the pinch of it only adding to his pleasure. There’s another growl that’s closer to a snarl as Eddie’s thrusts switch to something short and deep, practically rutting into him. Steve can feel the growing knot rubbing against the rim of his ass and he shudders, knowing how close Eddie is to coming and he fucking needs it.

“That’s it, baby, give it to me, make me yours. Want you to stuff me full of your cum until I can fucking taste it, until everyone knows who I belong to.”

Claws finally break the skin of Steve’s waist as Eddie’s motions get rough, and there’s a low, rumbling “Mine,” as he shoves his knot past the ring of muscle. It sends the human flying into another orgasm, has tears streaming down his face as he shakes apart on Eddie’s knot stretching him so, so good. 

Steve hears himself muttering a soft stream of “Please please please please,” as Eddie digs his hips in, grinding his knot deeper and deeper, and Steve can tell when he comes, can feel the hot rush of fluid filling him, stretching him even further. It feels like it goes on forever, Eddie’s hips jerking and rutting into him as he keeps coming, and Steve is twitching from overstimulation when Eddie finally goes still with a soft whine. 

His hand is soaked all the way to his wrist when he pulls it from his cunt, and he groans as he collapses onto the bed, Eddie following him down to keep the knot from pulling at his rim. A bit of wetness hits his skin as Eddie tries to lick Steve through the muzzle, and he brings his clean hand up to pat the metal cage. 

"I'm okay, baby. Just- Don’t move yet, okay?”

Eddie rumbles low in response and relaxes a bit, settling some of his weight onto Steve and pressing them into the bedding as they both come down, and Steve has just enough awareness to reach back and undo the buckle on the muzzle. The lycan shakes his head, flinging it off to land somewhere in the room, and then he’s licking Steve properly, soaking his neck and shoulder for a reason Steve can’t comprehend, but he just lets it happen.

He can feel when the knot goes down, and shudders at the cum that floods from him, soaking both Steve and the bed beneath them. It’s not something to worry about right now, though, not when Eddie is purring happily into his ear, seemingly content. 

Steve must doze off at some point, because he’s woken up by the sound of bones cracking and Eddie groaning, the sun just peeking through the window triggering his shift back. He’s only seen it once, only needed to see it once, and now he just waits for it to be over, waits as Eddie shrinks down again, as the fur sloughs away and disintegrates into nothing, leaving him smooth and human once more.

A messy kiss finds Steve’s jaw, and he hums as he leans into it. “Morning, baby,” he mutters, chuckling when he gets a soft grunt in response. “Sleep now?”

“Mhm, sleep now.”

Arms wrap around Steve, pulling him back into Eddie’s chest, neither worried about the mess spreading between them. Steve sighs as Eddie's breathing evens out almost immediately, and yeah, sleep now. Everything else can wait.

#title from 'doe jane' by shaky graves #fucking love that song #steddie fic #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #werewolves #werewolf eddie munson #joey writes

[eternalsams]

TGM Masterlist

requests: open

fluff - ✽; angst - ❅; hot - ☆; fun - ♫

❝You’re so beautiful❞ Masterlist ✽❅☆♫

Dagger Squad

Skinny Dip ❅✽♫

Last year was quite traumatizing for the Daggers and they need something to remind them of the good old times.

Let It Snow ♫

Who could've known that renting a cabin in the mountains with the Squad would have been that fun?

Hi, Baby ✽❅♫

You get deployed along with your friends but a part of your heart stays on land.

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Bradley’s Girl ❅

You’re the perfect girl for Jake. You’re pretty, kind, funny, smart. You could have him on his knees for you if you’d ask. But you’re Bradley’s girl.

One Last Time ❅

Jake is soon to be deployed and he invited the whole squad for a last night out together.

Cold Feet ✽

On the early days in your relationship with Jake, you kind of forgot to tell him a little detail about you.

Paint It Black ✽

You didn’t want to get married, you didn’t need a ring to prove your love for your man. But when the circumstances want you to, you’re forced to tie the knot with Jake to stay with him. And you’re scared your soon-to-be-husband won’t agree with your only request.

Take It Easy ✽

This is your third date with Jake and nothing’s happened yet. Not that he didn’t want anything to happen, he craved for it. But a little fire birdie told him exactly how to correctly gain your heart.

Country Boy ♫☆

Jake goes back home to his family for a few weeks and has quite a hard time convincing some girl he’s a pure Texas boy.

Treat You Right ✽❅

You got along pretty well with Jake. He made you laugh, sometimes paid for your drinks, was the perfect gentleman with you. But everything was apparently too perfect to be true.

The Song of Achilles ✽

You meet a beautiful stranger at the library and give him some book recommendations.

Campus ✽♫

When you've been stressing over your exams, what could go wrong? The answer would be Jake.

Story of My Life ✽❅

Jake panics when you start pulling away from him and he feels like he's destined to end up alone.

500 Miles ✽❅

When you and Jake saw the two bars on the test, the decision you took was not an easy one. But Jake would walk to the other end of the globe if you asked him to. So what's a few hundred miles compared to that?

The Olive Theory ✽❅

In a world where you learn a detail about your soulmate on each of your birthdays, you think you found your pair years ago but you're completely caught off guard on your 24st birthday.

Money, Money, Money ❅

Jake was a fun guy to play with, until you got feelings for him.

Drivers License ✽❅

You promised Jake to take him to the airport when he'd leave for the Naval Academy, but first you had to get your drivers license.

Need You Now | part2 | alternative ending ❅

You fucked up really bad and shows up on Jake's doorstep in the middle of the night.

You and Jake get that long-awaited discussion. Hearts have been broken, tears have been shed but words might make everything better.

You fucked up really bad and shows up on Jake's doorstep in the middle of the night, except you're not only there to apologize.

Hold My Hand ✽❅☆

5 times you held Jake's hand and the one time you couldn't (+1 bonus).

Your Woman ✽♫☆

When Jake and you decide to shower together, you realize you also have to share the Playlist.

Cherry Pie ☆✽❅

You just moved in San Diego and you needed help with all the boxes and furniture. Naturally, you called Jake to give you a hand and that's it, right?

Till Death Do Us Apart ❅

Your wedding day was supposed to be the best day of your entire life, until it wasn't.

I'll Crawl Home to Her ❅ (series)

NO SPOILERS

Night Comfort ❅

When you come back home panicked, Jake is there to comfort you. Yet you still have to explain to him how scary being a woman is.

Dog Dad ♫

When Jake saw the sparkles in your eyes at the dog shelter, he knew what he had to do. Now he had to hear the incessant bad jokes from Rooster.

Save Your Tears ✽❅

You were supposed to be the best of the bests, not a crying baby, that until you learned how deadly your next mission would be.

How to lose Hangman in 10 days [AU] ✽❅

Jake bet he could make any girl fall in love with him. You bet you could make any man disgusted by a woman. Who's gonna win?

Wedding blurb ✽

"I'm in the mood for some Jake Hangman Seresin like marriage fluff"

Call me Daddy ✽

When your daughter mistaken Jake for her father, you're more than embarrassed. That until she tells you why she called him that.

Filthy Fingers ❅

How could Jake blame you for what you did? That jerk deserved it, didn't he?

One Night to Change ❅ ✽

You and Jake have an amazing first date but when you wake up to cold sheet, you don't know what to do anymore.

Ringless ❅ ✽

When Jake makes the mistake to forget his ring, he immediately regrets it.

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

City of Stars ✽

Bradley always hears you humming that same song but can’t put a name on it. It’s 24/7 on his mind and it’s starting to drive him crazy. But without forgetting his new best friend, Google.

WHAT ARE THOSEEE?? ♫

During a night out at the Hard Deck, Phoenix notices something very interesting about Rooster.

The Piano Lesson ✽

Rooster is so good with your kid, you might fall head over heels sooner than expected.

Knock Knock ✽♫

Where Mav and Ice moved in next to Carole's house.

Late Night Melody ✽

You don't like being woken up in the middle of the night, but if it's by Bradley, you don't complain a single second. Even more if he's playing guitar.

Behind the Cameras ✽❅

What would happen if a simple naval aviator dated one of the most notorious actress of Hollywood?

Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia

Hips Don't Lie ☆

Mickey has the opportunity to introduce you to the squad at Maverick and Penny's wedding. Let's say you surprise everyone and brings out the most unexpected side of your boyfriend.

The Girl Who Smelled Like Popcorn ✽

Fanboy finds a new favorite reason to go to the cinema. You.

Southern Nights ♫✽

Your boyfriend is finally meeting your family but it doesn't go as he planned it.

Love Is All ✽

During your first night out after the Uranium mission, you all decide to play a game to know each other a bit better and some things are hard to believe.

Back to You ✽

When Mickey went back to his parents house for the holidays, he didn't expect to see a face that familiar.

Cheeks All Flushed ✽

It's Halloween and Hangman organizes a killer party with his friends. What happens when Mickey develops a massive crush on the makeup artist?

Psycho Killer ✽♫☆

When you saw that mask with those big black eyes and that drooping mouth, you first thought Hangman wanted to play a joke on you. How wrong were you!

Call Me ✽❅

When things get rough, you know exactly who you have to call.

Walk for me Baby ✽☆

You just spent a hundred dollars on nice lingerie, the least you could do was show Mickey what you got yourself.

Don't Forget About Me ✽❅

You're so in love with Mickey it hurts. But he just cannot reciprocate your feelings, can he?

Robert 'Bob' Floyd

Dancing Queen ✽

During the Bachelorette party of your friend, you couldn't help but notice the cute blue eyed guy staring at you from across the club.

Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace

Addicted to you ☆

Natasha always considered herself straight, that until she met you.

The Best Friend's Sister ✽

Who would've thought the notorious Phoenix could date a Bradshaw? But not the one everyone think.

Javy 'Coyote' Machado

Sweet Memories ✽❅

An umpteenth night next to your husband makes you realize what could've been your life.

#hangman #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #hangman x reader #jake seresin x reader #rooster #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #mickey fanboy garcia #fanboy #fanboy x reader #mickey garcia x reader #robert floyd #bob x reader #phoenix #natasha trace #phoenix x reader #coyote #javy machado #coyote x reader #payback #reuben fitch #payback x reader #top gun: maverick #top gun

[episteme-agape]

💐once you receive this lovely bouquet of flowers you have to mention five things you love, publicly, and send it to 10 of your favorite followers if you want. SPREAD POSITIVITY! ⛅️

Ah! A bouquet of flowers!! I accept! ☺️(ok wait why does tumblr not have the cute smiling emoji....just imagine the little face with the cute little smile. not empty soulless smile)💐

OK five things...

the people in my classes (right now they are the things that are keeping me going despite wanting to through my research in the trash multiple times)

Hozier (yes, i am in my pretend i am in a forest/cabin/anywhere but here please please phase to get work done period. no, i will not be changing)

my dog!!!

the fact that I am nearly done with French classes and then I won't have to take any more tests or take words with like thirty letters and pronounce it in three syllables. unless there's a vowel afterwards. or an s. or an extra e added on. but sometimes that doesn't matter. i'm literally going CRAZY over here people, my brain is built for english and dead languages, not ones people actually know how to pronounce

ugghh this one is so hard...there's so many options!! maybe my university! it's super isolated but hey it's pretty and i've had some really great and interesting profs this semester!

Thank you for sending this!! I am soo so sorry it took so long...my research has quite literally been taking up every single second I have free and a ton of other things just get lost in the noise!!

#thank you!! #about me #personal

[holdmytesseract]

A Place to Stay?

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Summary: Alexandria. A new chance for the group to finally settle down. The people there seem kind and everything looks safe - but is it a place to stay? You'd answer that question with a yes. Would Daryl?

Set in Season Five

Warnings: Uhh... bit of the usual TWD stuff... fluff... suggestive smut, if you squint

Word Count: 3k

a/n: So... This one has a lot dialogue in it, I'm sorry, but I'm still trying to get in line with the characters. Still testing out Daryl and the others. 🙈😊 I hope that fic is not too awful... 🙈 Also, I am still watching TWD. 🙈 Started to watch season six now, so please forgive me for any lack of knowledge. 🙈

Alexandria was a beautiful place to stay - without a doubt. The people seemed friendly, the system trustworthy and the safety guaranteed. Nevertheless, we were still cautious. Especially after all we've been through... Appearances were often deceptive – how we learned. Mostly in a painful way.  

Deanna gave us the opportunity to stay in two of the countless fancy mansions, but Rick decided that we'd sleep all in one house together that night and not split up. Just in case. You never knew… I really hoped, that we could find a home here. I had nothing against being out there, on the road... But we all needed a break. We all deserved a break. To sleep not with one eye open at night for once. And oh, what would I give for a quiet night alone with Daryl, in which we wouldn't need look out for walkers – or other unwanted guests. Just the two of us and the love we were sharing. A dreamy sigh left my lips at that thought. The last time we had such a night was all those months ago in the prison. We had sneaked out one night after dinner and digged ourselves in one of the guard towers - only to get caught by Rick the next morning, but it was worth it. Even if it was a bit of an embarrassing situation... Rick swore to keep our secret - and he did. Then the prison fell, I got separated from Daryl, everything seemed to go down the drain - until I met him and the others again in Terminus, where we all got almost killed, but well. Was nothing new, eh? We survived - and now we were here. Hopefully for a longer time.

I was on the porch of our mansion, seated on the wooden stairs, as Rick stepped out of the door. My eyes widened when I saw him. "Woah! Who are you and what did you do to Rick?" I joked, referring to his now shaved beard, trimmed hair and clean look. The man just shook his head and smiled. "I dunno. I asked myself the same question, as I looked in that mirror." I giggled at his words, "But it fits you. Lookin' so much better now." and stood up. "Imma go for a shower now as well. Don't tell Daryl I said that." I said, winking. "Don't tell me wha'?" The man of the hour sauntered of course in that exact moment out of the door and towards us - a sceptical look on his face. "Nothin' important, Daryl. Y/N just said, I look better without the beard." Daryl looked immediately at me. "Is that so?" I rolled my eyes, but smiled. He could be so childishly jealous sometimes... "Mhm. Less like a stray dog and more like a puppy again." "Pfft." Huffed out Rick with a laugh. "Gee, thanks." I laughed too, before I turned to Daryl, side-hugging him. The former policeman took that as his cue to leave - what he did; disappearing inside the mansion again. "I am goin' for a shower now." I started, biting my lip, before I stood on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "Wanna join me?" I asked, placing a small kiss on his stubble covered cheek. "You could use a shower too, ya know." But Daryl shook his head. "Would be quite a bit suspicious, if we both jus' vanish upstairs in the bathroom, eh?" I shrugged my shoulders, giving him a smug smirk. "We could just sneak upstairs." Once again the man shook his head. "Nah, 'm fine." A pout spread over my lips, trying to convince Daryl to join me - but it didn't help. He didn't budge. "Fine..." I said, letting go of him again. "Then not. Your loss. I'm not the one, missin' out somethin'... You are, baby." With those words and a last kiss on his cheek, I left Daryl standing there, before he could even say something. I went back inside the mansion. "I am going for a shower, guys!" I called into the open living room, before I vanished upstairs.

As soon as the warm water jet of the showerhead beat down on my exposed body, joyous, breathless laughter left my lips. It's been so long since I lastly stood underneath a freaking shower. I let the water rain down on me, wetting my tousled Y/H/C hair and dirty skin of my body. I enjoyed every second of my shower. Although, I was still hoping Daryl would join me - what didn't happen in the end, but well... After I was finished and dry again, I slipped in fresh clothes, then went down again to join the others. It felt like heaven. I was clean, had something to eat and drink, a roof over my head and was united with all the different, crazy and loveable people who became my family through the world's downfall. But most importantly, I was safe and had Daryl by my side. What would I need more?

I sat down on the sofa, joining the others in their conversations for a while. Of course, I had noticed immediately, that Daryl was missing - yet again, but didn't think much about it. He was a big boy and could roam the streets alone. That was what he was most likely doing - or he was out, hunting. I was not worried in the slightest. Not here.

When the moon had replaced the sun and it had gotten dark and very late, the whole group laid spread out in the whole living room, sleeping on the floor on mattresses and/or blankets. I had settled in the top left corner, gaze directed on the passage to the hallway. Everybody around me was fast asleep; snores could be heard from a few. Abraham, for example. I tried to sleep, but couldn't. Daryl still wasn't back and so slowly I got worried for real. I already thought about going out and searching for him, but it was way too dark and probably too risky alone - despite that we were in Alexandria now. Walkers weren't the only thing you've got to fear these days... The minutes ticked by and I just stared at the wall of the hallway. Just before I was about to change my mind and really go out to look for him, I heard the soft squeak of the front door, followed by quiet footsteps. My hand reached for my dagger immediately, preparing myself to defend the group, in case it was not the man I hoped for. But when the intruder turned around the corner with a faint flashlight pinched between his lips, I could clearly see that it was, indeed, Daryl. A relieved breath left my lips. Not just because it wasn't a strange person... "Daryl!" I whisper-shouted, not to wake the others. "Over here!" His head turned towards me, before he tiptoed over to me, getting rid of his crossbow and vest on the way. He knelt down beside me, turning off the small flashlight, before he flopped on the empty space beside me. I couldn't help myself but to cuddle close to him. I pressed my back against his chest, entangled our legs, while Daryl wrapped a strong arm around me, pinning me against him. "Where have you been so long, baby?" I felt him shrugging his shoulders. "Jus' outside, huntin' a few squirrels." I huffed. "You could've told me, ya know. I got worried..." His lips ghosted over my exposed neck, leaving a gentle kiss there. He got much more affectionate through the months. "M sorry, Y/N. Gonna tell ya next time, promise." I nodded, pulling him closer. "Alright." We went silent for a moment, enjoying each other's company. "You know you need to move over soon, if we don't want the others to find out?" "Mhm, jus' another minute." The minute turned almost into an hour. I was on the verge of sleeping in, when I finally felt him move him away from me - much to my dismay, but well...

The next days flew by quickly. Some of us got a job from Deanna and started to accustomate a bit to the new environment we were in, others were still struggling. Daryl was one of them. I noticed how he isolated himself quite a bit. He was barely talking to us and the other people here. He spent the most of the day on the streets and outside the walls. I felt his struggle. It wasn't easy for him to get used to what we suddenly had… Deanna had thrown a welcome party for us, on which he also stayed away. After almost a week, I decided to talk with him; find out what exactly was on his mind.

I knew he was outside, so I asked the doorman to open the main gate for me - which he did, of course, letting me out. I checked on my daggers and strapped my gun on my cargo pants, before I went to search for him. Good thing he taught me how to track. But what he apparently didn't think of, was that I was also able to track him now as well…

I saw him walking through the thicket of the forest, crossbow in hands and a string with squirrels slung over his shoulder. How long had he been out here already? I quietly followed him further, giggling to myself at the little game I played - okay... Tried to play. "Ya ain't good at followin' people, Y/N." He suddenly said with his back still turned towards me, causing me to pout. How the hell did he notice? I didn't make a peep! With a grin on his lips he stopped and turned to face me. Well... The tree I was now 'hiding' behind. "I can see ya." "Ugh, that's not fair." I stated and left my 'hiding' place, crossing my arms over my chest. "Why are you so good at this, huh?" Daryl just shrugged his shoulders. "Cause I am." I huffed, but smiled. "At least I can track you and not have to follow you secretly." "Yeah and that's the moment I regret, teachin' ya... You shouldn't be out 'ere alone." I nodded into his direction. "You neither." The man rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I can look after myself." "And I cannot?" "Didn't say that. 'S jus'... I don't want ya out 'ere alone." I stepped closer to him with a smile, "Well, lucky for you, that I found ya." and placed a small kiss on his lips. "Now c'mon. There's space for a few more squirrels on that string."

After successfully hunting another few squirrels and getting rid of some walkers, we made our way back towards the safe walls of Alexandria - and that was the moment, where I decided to speak with him.

"Daryl, you okay?" He nodded. "Course. Why shouldn't I?" I took a deep breath. "Cause I can feel that you are not..." Daryl shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno what ya mean." "Oh yes, you know exactly what I mean. When are you finally going to learn, Mr. Dixon, that talking to me is better for yourself, than just pretending everything's alright? You can maybe fool the others... But you can't fool me." A defeated sigh left his lips. "Ya gonna be the death of me, woman." I had to giggle at his words. "Careful what ya wish for. I don't intend to lose you." He shook his head, "Ya won't lose me." and paused for a moment. "S jus'... I dunno... I am not the type to settle down in a fuckin' mansion. I feel... caged. Ya know wha' I mean? Gotta be rather out 'ere, than pretend everythin's fine in there. 'S not." I nodded, understood of course what he meant - and I certainly couldn't blame him. He never was the type of just sitting around. "I know what ya mean." "Yeah?" "Yeah... And I can understand it. Trappin' you inside a house, would be like trappin' a lion in a cage. Doesn't work. You gotta be out there. You're made for this. I know that..." I paused for a second. "Doesn't mean I like it, though." I added, voice barely above a whisper. Daryl suddenly stopped in his motions; his hand on mine held me back from walking on as well. I immediately turned to face him - and saw the love inside the depths of his brown eyes. "I know that ya don't like it. I know you'd like me to stay inside those damn walls... But-" "You can't." I gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hand. "We all have our jobs to do - and this one's yours." He nodded, swallowing, "Bout that... I wanted to talk with ya anyway..." before he gently dragged me with him. "Aaron gave me a bike." "A bike?" "Yeah." "But that's great! A bike is exactly the thing you need, isn't it?" I smiled, were truly happy for him. "And… he wants me to replace Eric. Asked me to go out with him, recruitin' new people." I breathed out a small laugh at his words. "Of course, Aaron would ask you. Who else? If someone can do that, it's you." "Really? Ya think tha'?" I nodded. "Yes. You are a tracker - a pretty good one at that. And you can see the difference between good and bad people." "Aaron said that, too." "See?" I giggled, "So... You ain't mad at me, if I'd go out with Aaron?" and shook my head immediately. "Nah." We both stopped, when we saw that the big walls of Alexandria came in sight. "If that is what you want, sure, baby. As long as you promise me to come back to me - in one piece and unharmed." Daryl scoffed. "Of course, Y/N. Told ya before... I'll always come back for ya - no matter where ya are." I smiled at the man in front of me and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him close. "I love you, Daryl Dixon. Remember that." "How could I not, eh?" Daryl asked, brushing a strand of Y/H/C hair out of my face. "Ain't forgettin' my girl. Ya know I love ya, too." A smile played upon my lips, when stood on my tiptoes and kissed him, pouring all the love flowing through my veins in the kiss - and it didn't just stay at one kiss...

"When are you and Aaron leavin'?" I asked, panting and out of breath with kiss swollen lips. "As soon as possible. Guess in a few hours or so." What? In a few hours or so? My jaw dropped. "Already? And you're tellin' me now? Daryl!" "M sorry... Didn't know how to tell ya..." Typical. "You don't even stay another night? Damn... I was so lookin' forward to spend a night with ya in privacy." I said, pouting at him. "I know, Y/N... 'M sorry. As soon as I'm back, promise." I sighed, but smiled softly. "Alright. I think I can live with that." I kissed him once again, before I let slowly go of him. "Take care of ya, while I'm away, yeah?" "Of course. You too." Daryl nodded. "And if that lil' boy makes a move on ya, I'm goin' to beat his ass into the ground." I frowned at his words. "You mean Spencer?" "Yeah. Saw him lookin' yer way." I couldn't help but giggle. "Why take a boy, when I can have a man." I winked at Daryl and kissed him a last time, before I turned around to leave. "I'll head inside now, before I change my mind and try to convince you to stay." With those words, I walked to the gate and left Daryl behind.

I didn't say him goodbye that day before he left. I never did.

Now, I found myself once again sitting on the porch of the mansion, when I saw Maggie heading my way - with a stupid grin on her face. That meant nothing good... "Ugh, I know that smile. What is it?" Maggie sat down beside me, still grinning from ear to ear. "So... How long is this goin' on now?" An uneasy feeling started to spread throughout my body at her question. I hoped she didn't mean what I feared she mean… Could she...? Did she...? "How long is what goin' on?" Maggie shook her head. "Don't act innocent now, Y/N. I saw you 'n Daryl." I almost choked on her words. "You... What?! When?! How?!" She giggled. "And you just admit it." At her words, realisation dawned on me. I did. "Shit." Maggie giggled again. I liked that girl a lot. She became definitely one of my closest friends. "So?" "When did you see us?" "Few hours ago. I was on the guard tower, lookin' for Sasha, but she wasn't there. That's when I saw ya two - and it looked pretty obvious to me. I couldn't believe my eyes at first. I mean - no offence - but, Daryl and a woman?" I couldn't suppress the small laugh when I heard Maggie say that. "You rather mean Daryl and love." Her eyes widened. "So this is somethin' serious between ya two?" I nodded, smiling. There was no way to deny it any longer anyway, so why should I lie to Maggie? "Yeah, I'd definitely say so. There was always somethin' between us. Since the day we met. We somehow just got together then at some point. I think when we were on your farm." Maggie smile again. This time, it was a honest, happy smile. "Ohh, but that's wonderful. I'm happy for you 'n Daryl. You both deserve this." "Thank you." We smiled at each other. "But please don't tell the others." She nodded. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." Secret... It hardly wasn't a secret anymore, was it?

a/n: Should Daryl kick Spencer's ass in a second part? 🤔

#daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x you #daryl x y/n #daryl dixon #twd #twd season 5

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently watching - November

Because I love a good little list 😊

Regularly updated during the month - colored = finished

This may contain spoilers!

Choco Milk Shake (8/11)

🥰🥰🥰🥰 This is so good! I love it! I enjoyed every little second of this beautiful piece of media. It is the story about Choco and Milk, a cat and a dog becoming human and live with their former owner. Why? For now, all we know is, to make him happy. The acting is really good! I can see the dog and the cat in them 😅 So far perfect casting! I am a little bit anxious that it doesn’t end with an all fluff happy ending…

Happy Ending Outside The Fence (Happy Ending Romance) (2/8)

It has an interesting start. It is quite confusing in the beginning because of all the time jumps, but I guess I just have to pay more attention. It looks as a love triangle, but I can't see the pairing mentioned in the synopsys, at all 😅 Well, surprise me, but I can't see the inexplicable feelings or desire for each other, but hey, we are tow episodes in. And I kind of like this! Not to know who will be endgame is quite refreshing :)

Eien no Kino (6/8)

I really like the aesthetics of the show. The way scenes were shot and the coloring. Really pretty! The story is about two friends and one of them is becoming a zombie. I guess the next episodes will rip my heart out and leave me unsettled and with a lot of emotional damage...

War of Y (10/20)

I finally watched the next chapter...And yeah, I think I can't watch the stories week for week. I need to wait until one chapter is closed and binge the five episodes. This is one of the few bls I watch with a lot of tension in my body and no smile on my lips...I need to calm a bit before I can dive into the next drama...

Between Us (2/12)

Hm...I don't know yet. I like WinTeam, but I guess I am not that hyped because I didn't like Until we meet again that much. I am curious where the story is taking us.

My Tooth Your Love (7/12)

I guess this could be called a nightmare for people with a dental phobia. But it looks so messy and lovable and I am totally in for it! I enjoyed the acting and the sister is so bossy, but in a good way 😀 Never thought I would like a series about a dentist this much! But I do! With more episodes in the story becomes more deeper and better. There are traumas that the story has to deal with and so far it does a good job. Even though it might look like a fluff show, under the surface it is not and I appreciate that.

Till the World ends (4/10)

It is something else. Brutal and kind of gory and a little bis explicit. Not your usual bl. I like it, no wonder 😅 The end of the world is coming and Art and Golf try to survive the last days on this chaotic planet. The one to gain his memory back and the other to see his brother again (I guess). Everything garnished with lies and guns and a little bit of romance.

Ai Long Nhai (8/12)

Ai likes Nhai. Nhai likes Ai. To test if their relationship could have a future they decide to test-date for a month and show all their habits, good and bad, in front of each other. That is what I got from the subtitles 😂 They are a mess 😅 So funny and yet so frustrating, because sometimes you just don’t get what they are saying at all 😂 But the story is sweet, not that deep, but sweet.

To Sir, with love (2/17)

The first episodes are on youtube with english subs! First episode told us about their and their family’s history. I really can't stand the secondary wife and her maid. Hateful bitches! But I like Bua. She would have been a great mother and in a way she is more of a mother to the children than their mums. I guess I have to wait for more episodes to watch further…I have the feeling this won’t end well and I can’t deal with this right now…

Remember Me (7/12)

Okay what happend? I am emotional invested in this story! Why did it become so good within two episodes? I love the domesticity and the wholesomeness of the third episode so much! It touched me and moved me and now I am looking forward to the next episode! And the next episode was good too. I love Em and Name! Don’t hurt them, especially Name!

2 Moons: The Ambassador (5/12)

This might be the first series I will drop. And I watched Check Out...But the subtitles are a mess, the acting is cringy and the story is boring...okay, I am on ep 2, so perhaps there is some good plot coming, but right now I can't see it.

I will knock you (1/12)

So Thi steps on the Lotus of Noey which is symbolic for his heart and now Noey wants his heart back so he can give it to the girl he has a crush on and Thi can't find it and gives him in exchange a charm for fortune, but in reality it is for love and soulmates...And Noey happens to be the leader of a gang which members wear khaki-shorts or way too colorful dresses for a street gang...the cringe radar is very strong witht his one, but it is hilarious!

Finished in November

Series

The Untamed (50/50 on Viki) - the highest possible level of recommendation

I saw all the praises and high ratings and I always thought how could such a drama be so good? So I watched it and what can I say? I love it! I couldn't stop watching it! The story is so well written. The eye for detail is just chef's kiss. I never thought I would like such kind of drama. But here I am, rooting for Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi to just smile at each other. Even though it is a censored Chinese adaption I enjoy their dynamic so much! And the rest of the cast is so precious too. I can’t stop smiling while watching, which is always a good sign. Yes, I am totally in love with this one! 10 out of 10 pure perfection

Ghost Host, Ghost House (8/8 on Gaga) - absolutely recommended

At first you thought, well what a fun story about a ghost hunter and his dead family (and of course the potential love interest), but with every new episode a new layer was about to be discovered. This is not only a fun story, but a story about forgiveness, love, grief, regret and living the best you can while you are still alive. And not gonna lie, the mains are one of the touchiest boyfriends with the softest kisses I have seen in a while. It just feels good to see them together. 9 out of 10 short short shorts

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (8/8 on Viki) - totally recommended

This one I like...Perhaps it is the enemies working and forced living together thing for me. I enjoy those storylines way too much! Overall it's funny and I enjoy their dynamic and acting so much more than in Kissable Lips. 8,5 out of 10 beers

Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized (7/8 on Viki) - recommended without a doubt

It is so well shot and edited. I was just blown away by the art. It is the story of two people who meet again after years, one an bl-manga artist and the other an upcoming idol. Both are dealing with some difficulties in their lifes and it is just an emotional ride to see them both connect and disconnect. The acting was really good! My secret hero was definitely Yamada! She is a good best friend, a real gem! 8,5 out of 10 big men-boobs

My only 12 % (14/14 on Youtube) - absolutely recommended

We had a rough start, but it grew on me a lot with more episodes in. The story managed to become really interesting, and the mains open up and being vulnerable in front of each other is just beautiful to witness. It is a truely beautiful love story. 8,5 out of 10 Cakes

Self (6/6 on Youtube) - recommended

The story about Tang who, one day, can't see his reflection in the mirror anymore and instead whitnesses different scenes from another person, Neo. He then tries to find and help Neo. The story is intense and even though there are only six episodes, different aspects are dealt with in a quite good way. I liked this one. 7 out of 10 missing reflections

Inseparable (2/2 on Youtube) - recommended

This short Pinoy bl shows the lifes of Mico and Henry, who live in the rural area of the Philippines. Mico needs another job to help his family financially and for that he plans to go to the city and leave Henry behind, but there are things that need to be said and cleared before he can leave. It is short and won't cost you too much time, so give it a try. 6,5 out of 10 weird camera angles

Big Dragon (8/8 on Gaga and Viki) - recommended? Well, why not...

Oh this was a mess 😅 A lovely one with enemies to lovers and two bodyguards who aren’t really good bodyguards, but they are adorable and steal the sympathy. I am all here for these two. The main couple? Well it is complicated and they are both so freaking toxic…they deserve each other and I don’t mean it in any rude way. They are just perfect for each other and kind of soft when they want to…But I can't give it a higher ranking, because it is lacking plot and they promised us some leather but never really came back to it. 6 out of 10 curtains never lifted...

Fish upon the sky (12/12 on Youtube) - recommended with reservations

The story is about Pi who is in love with Nan, who doesn't like him back. But as it looks his friend Mork likes Pi very much and he tries to court him for the rest of this series until Pi finally accepts that he likes him too. I don't like Pi, he is ungrateful and demanding. I know he has issues and I understand where they are coming from, but a low self-esteem doesn't justify a shitty character. I can't really see why Mork is so smitten by Pi. Besides the unlikable main is is quite a cute story with forced drama. 5,5 out of 10 forced dramatic plotholes

Love in the air (13/13 on Youtube) - not recommended

Listen, I watched it, I enjoyed the looks of the cast, because they are gorgeous as fuck, but the story is too messed up for me. There are too many red flags and too much romanticised shit going on. I can't recommend it as I will never recommend TharnType...If you like or love it, I am happy for you :) Tastes are different! 5,5 out of 10 red flags

Fahlanruk (12/12 on Gaga) - recommended? Save your time!

This series is a mess! The dialogues are crap, the acting is sometimes really not that good, the chemistry…I don’t know. There is no plot...just scenes added together. The message of this series is coming in like a soggy sock. The only good part of this series are the side couples! Prince and Gear are just sweet and Ping and Tap b´deserve happiness! I couldn't care less about Fah and Sher. 3,5 out of 10 rabbit fucks

Short films

Being Me (on Gaga) - highly recommended

Such a cute short film. It manages to tell a well written story about childhood friends who realise that they are way more for each other. Hints of homophobia are there, but it doesn't stand in the way of their love at a first glance. 9 out of 10 air guitar sessions in the bathtub

Buddy Park (on Gaga) - can't recommend

I just didn't like it that much. The story is about Jinho who never had sex in his 29 years of living even though he is trying really hard to get laid. In the end he is sleeping with his best friend, but it is not a friends to lovers story...and I couldn't get into the humor of this short film. 6 out of 10 lies

Movies

Cherry Magic: The Movie - highly recommended

It is the continuation of the highly praised drama 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii. We see more of Adachi's and Kurosawa's every day life and their forever after. It is wholesome and cute with a little bit angst. There are some really great scenes, but I kind of miss some intimacy like hand holding or cuddling. 8 out of 10 ring exchanges

What I’m looking forward to in November:

Between Us (Nov 6)

I Will Knock You (Nov 18)

609 Bedtime Story (Nov 26)

Happy Ending Outside the Fence (Nov 24)

He who is without sin (Nov 23)

Made on rooftop (Nov 30)

Mr. Cinderella (Nov 30)

Young Hoon (some time in november)

My School President (some time in November)

#currently watching #bl series #bl drama #thai bl #korean bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #the untamed #choco milk shake #kabe koji #eien no kino #ghost host ghost house #love in the air #roommates of poongduck 304 #fahlanruk #ai long nhai #big dragon the series #my tooth your love #my only 12% #remember me the series #between us #till the world ends #cherry magic the movie #i will knock you #happy ending outside the fence #happy ending romance

[thestayathomedragon]

Another Winterberg Fic Idea I will probably never write...

Ethan and Karl work tech support in a call center.

Ethan is a software guy and Karl is a hardware guy.

They sit right in front of each other because they’re respective teams sit next to each other and Karl is one of the agents who sits on the boarder.

I might include other RE Village folks.

Chris is definitely a supervisor and so is Alcina. Miranda is a manager: Chris and Alcina’s direct supervisor.

Alcina has never worked the phones here. She’s got management experience and that’s all that matters.

Chris has been on the phones but it’s been years and you know how tech changes quickly, he’s got the basics but not the nuances of the new tech, etc. He’s perpetually tired, drinks way too much coffee and pretty much lets his team do what they want as long as their numbers are good. They are.

Alcina is a stickler for customer care. She is always on Ethan’s ass because he is a honey badger and gives no fucks but somehow still excellent at his job. The only reason he still has a job though is because he doesn’t really talk to customers he talks to field techs. And well as long as they get the answers they need field techs don’t really complain. They don’t want to bring any attention to themselves of course.

Karl unfortunately talks to customers, he is one of those techs that has to walk customers through troubleshooting steps and he’s very good at it, customers really like his voice, he’s gotten hit on so many times he’d be rich if he had a dime for each time. Male and Female, all ages.

Ethan’s got a pretty good voice if he didn’t sound so dead inside all the time. Karl thinks it’s cute. He loves hearing Ethan give the techs shit for being lazy and/or dumb. He can’t believe he gets away with some of the shit he says to them.

Ethan eventually warms up to Karl. They have the same shift, go to lunch at the same time. Ethan is recently divorced from his college sweetheart, Mia.

“Yeah I went to college and this is the job I ended up with.”

He has an infant daughter. EX is a liar and cheat, but the daughter, Rosemary, is his. Paternity test plus she looks just like him. Karl never finished college, ran out of money.

Ethan dresses business casual. Wears jeans only on Fridays but always with a nice button up and oxfords. Karl dresses just rolled out of bed casual. He has been known to wear his pjs to work. He always smells nice though. Ethan doesn’t know how he manages it. No one can really tell the difference between Karl’s pjs and his regular clothes though honestly. The man wears sweatpants to work, gray ones, so no one really complains. And flip flops. Sneakers sometimes. But he’s been seen in flip flops in the winter and rain. The man will wear shorts to work. With boots. The season also doesn’t matter.

Alcina hates him based off his fashion sense alone. It annoys Chris but since there is no dress code he can’t really do anything about it. Miranda is trying to get a dress code enacted but as of yet it’s still not on the books.

Ethan thinks it’s funny. He’s always commenting on Karl’s t-shirts. He has quite the collection of novelty shirts. If a shirt says something inappropriate, he just tapes over it.

Karl frequently forgets his badge and tailgates all the time. Ethan always gives him shit every time it’s him.

“I have a kid to feed, Karl. I can’t lose my job because you can’t be bothered to keep up with a piece of plastic on a lanyard. Seriously, you can literally hang it around your neck if it’s that difficult to keep up with it.”

“My dog ate it.”

“Well, get another one. They’re free.”

“I don’t need to the boss lady finding out how irresponsible I am now do I?”

“I pretty sure that ship has sailed, Karl.”

I want to write this so bad.

Imagine the interteam pot luck. LMAO.

If anyone wants to steal the idea or even add to this feel free!

#wintersberg #karl heisenberg #ethan winters #alcina dimitrescu #chris redfield #mother miranda #alternate universe #resident evil village #my fan fiction

[oforthetaintedsorrow]

Tag game to better know you

Thank you @tiffanylamps @b1uetrees and @ettelwenailinon for tagging me! Sorry it took a while :’) life has been busy but I’m finally on leave babyyyy

what book are you currently reading?

I recently finished small things like these by Claire Keegan. It’s short but impactful story. I’m going on holiday soon so I’ll be starting this island of the missing trees by Elif Shafak on my flight

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I’ve only seen one so it’s going to have to be across the spiderverse - I’m happy with that being my fav

what do you usually wear?

High waisted mom jeans, T-shirt, denim jacket and trainers. It used to be skinny jeans until I switched and now I can’t go back 😔 they’re just too comfy

how tall are you?

5”3/160cm but recently my friend told me I might not be (she’s taller and apparently measured 160) so I’m currently in denial

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Aries, babyyy. I share with Robert Downey Jr and Thomas Jefferson?! The American Civil War ended on this date in 1856 (I’m learning new things today!)

do you go by your name or a nickname?

My name online is Lin. But I don’t really have a nickname so everyone irl calls me by my real name.

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

God no, but sometimes I wish 🥲

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

No and no 😂 But I’m taking gf applications and I’m open to applying! 😭

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

I’m great at remembering things for work but terrible at remembering things when concerning my personal life

dogs or cats?

I like both but I prefer cats. My sister has a cat (and a puppy) and he’s the loml, my nephew. He’s beautiful and I love him so much.

if  you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite  picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this  year?

I haven’t been writing anything this year, sadly. It’s been quite hard to put anything on paper after spending hours writing the most mundane emails at work on outlook. But I’ve been making edits on capcut when I have time. Cutting a scene down and placing them to the beat just tickles something in my brain. My most recent one - the jwds Francesca, Hozier edit - is my favourite.

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Trigun stampede!! It’s brainrottingly good. I can’t get over vashwood and the rare pair kniveswood has me in chokehold. If you’ve watched it, please talk to me about it 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

I wasn’t excited about doing my driving test, it was something that I just really needed to get out of the way because I’ve left it for too long, but I failed and I’m kind of gutted about that because I almost passed!

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

My talent is so hidden that even I don’t know what it is.

are you religious?

No, but you don’t need the fear of god when you’ve grown up in a traditional conservative Asian household…😭

what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

Happiness. If we’re going for something a bit more attainable, I’d say a new job and finding a space of my own 😂

Tagging: @ashcrow @aaryadesu @diachia @yohussy if you want to!

#me #I did. this all on mobile and you don’t wanna know how long this took

[aajjks]

bunny!koo well i won’t lie.. there was quite a few baby, i’m not proud of it but before i saw you that day in the park 3 years ago.. i’ve never touched another man since then, it’s only been you.. having so much control over you it just.. i don’t really know but i can’t get enough of it.. you’re such a big and scary looking guy to some people yet if we were out in public and told you to get down on your knees and eat off the ground, you’d do it.. i have so much control over you and i can’t get enough.. i like testing you if i’m being honest. my intentions were to never hurt you but oh god do i love seeing you so scared and crying over the thought of me leaving you.. i can never see myself with another man but seeing how desperate you become to please me just so i’ll only ever use you.. really gets me going.. but now that i know you’d kill someone just for touching me? you’re such a bad boy for giving noona ideas.. let’s hope it never becomes a punishment of yours.. i never want to hear you speak a word about anyone else unless you want me to drain them over a bucket.. then people treated you like trash, the other bunnies they wanted you to breed with? they never would have loved you like i do.. they just wanted to have connections to higher power and having bunnies with you would have given them that power. the only women you will ever have bunnies with it me. because i swear, if you ever get another woman pregnant.. you will wish you never met me..

“Wow noona… I love to hear you talk, especially like this… you know how to calm my jealousy down…I’m the only man in your life now? I’ll make sure that I’m the only man ever in your life from today and always… you are magical noona- no one has ever loved me this much like you do- and the way you’re admitting your feelings is making my knees weak…. I never thought that you’d be so… obsessed with me. It’s a dream come true- you’ll always have that control over me, noona. I promise you- I can’t let you leave me- I’ll be your dog. A-And what do you mean by that. You really want to see my madness noona? I-It might scare you away because I get scared of my love for you sometimes too- I’ll never ever get anyone pregnant but you…. If you’d let me. I’ll always be yours.”

#ask: bunny!koo

[lovemesomesurveys]

How are you doing today? It’s only 2:14AM, but so far I’m doing okay cause my dudes I’m doing this survey in MY bed in MY room at MY house. Basically what I’m saying is that I’m finally homeeeeee. What is the last song you listened to in a car? I don’t recall.  Do you like prefer apple cider warm or cold? Definitely much better when it’s hot.  When did you last feel misunderstood? I feel that way a lot. I have a hard time expressing myself and putting my feelings into words. It never seems to come out quite right. Have you ever visited The Louvre or would you like to? I don’t even know what that is. 

Have you ever accidentally locked yourself out of your place of residence? Yes. Do you remember your favorite songs as a kid? The popular stuff of the 90s, basically.  Do you currently feel calm? I’m feeling a little more relaxed now that my paid medication is kicking in.  When did you last lace up a pair of shoes? Back in May on my way to the hospital.  What's your go to comfort meal? It used to be ramen, but I haven’t had it in several months. Like, probably not since the beginning of this year. I used to have it literally every single night. At the beginning of this year my health got even worse and it was becoming difficult to eat. Do you enjoy cloud watching? It’s not something I do.  Do you currently have any candles lit? No. If applicable, what's your favorite sports team? None. I have no interest in sports.  How many cardigans do you own? Zero.  How much is too much for clothes? (I am mad at myself over purchasing a $30 cardigan lol) I actually have carts on a few different websites with clothes I want, but the total of each one is so much for not even a lot of stuff. I’m having a hard time taking anything out of my cart or taking the plunge and just treat myself. Some of the stuff I feel is definitely overpriced, but I really like them.  How soon do you normally decorate for holidays? I’m ready to start putting up Halloween decorations now to be honest, but I’ll start sometime early on next month. As for Christmas, I’d be down to start in the beginning of November, but I tend to wait until the day after Thanksgiving. Perhaps I’ll do it earlier this year as well. I had a rough past few months and the holidays bring me some joy. I’d love to go crazy and get a shit ton of decorations.  Are there any important things happening this week? Just resting for the rest of the week, but next week I already have a few follow-up appointments. One of them is that swallow test I mentioned in other surveys that will determine what I can eat and drink. I was hoping to get it done before I came home, but they weren’t able to squeeze me in. I’m only able to sip on liquids with this thickening powder I have to add to it and with a spoon. I’m looking forward to finally having some coffee.  Do you know anyone who is terrified of dogs? I don’t think so.  What scent was the last soap you used? Caress body soap scent, ha. I’m not sure what the scent is exactly, it just smells... clean.  How old were you when you made your first big purchase? 19. I bought my first MacBook, which was super expensive. What last made you angry? I was irritated that I couldn’t get that test done.  What's a color you think is underrated? I don’t know.  What are you usually doing when midnight comes around and you can't sleep? I’m always up past midnight for that reason and I just scroll through Tumblr and listen to ASMR. What is your favorite way to eat rice? (white, steamed, fried, brown, sweetened...) I like fried rice.  What color is the top you're wearing? I’m wearing a blue nightgown with white flowers all over it. Finally wearing something other than that damn hospital gown. When did you last laugh so hard you cried? It’s been a very long time since I’ve laughed that hard. I don’t even remember the last time.  What's your favorite horror movie? I have several, but among the top of the list are the Halloween, Scream, and It movies.  What's your favorite and least favorite fast food restaurant? I like Jack in the Box, Carl’s Jr, Chick-Fil-A, Raising Canes, and Taco Bell. My least favorite is Wendy’s.  How many pictures can you see in the room you're in? I have several on my walls.  When did you last sign your signature? Yesterday when I filling out discharge papers.  What cover do you think is better than the original song? Adele’s cover of George Michael’s Fast Love is SO good. It was a beautiful tribute to him that she did after he passed away.  Are you currently listening to music? No, I’m listening to ASMR. What do your favorite pair of pajamas look like? I like wearing my t-shirt dresses or gowns the most cause they’re super comfortable and easy to just throw on real quick.  What is something you've been working on? Trying to get better. I have a lot of work to do and I need to be putting in more work and effort.  What's something that excites you about the future? I’m just taking things day by day right now. How often do you drink smoothies? I rarely drink smoothies, but I might start drinking them more often.  What's a TV show you have gotten into recently? So many. I’ve binged several shows during my time in the hospital. One of the new ones I started is Daredevil.  Have you ever had to have a tooth cut out? No. Gah, that sounds awful. When did you last rush for something? I don’t know. How many blankets do you own? A few.  Have you drank enough water today? It’s hard when you can only drink a little and have to do so by spoonfuls. Thankfully, though, I get water through the feeding tube when getting meds and the feeding formula.  Do you prefer apple pie or pecan pie? I’m not a pie person. What color takes up most of your wardrobe? Black.  What makes you feel alive? I haven’t felt alive in a very long time... Who is your last missed call from? Unknown number.  Do you have any unusual pet peeves? I can’t stand the sound of ice clanking against a glass.  What is a food you think is nasty that most people enjoy? Sushi. All seafood, actually.  Would you rather never be sick again or be rich? Having the option of never being sick again sounds really nice, especially for someone like me who has chronic illnesses and health issues, but being rich is a tempting option as well. Honestly, though, I’d go with never being sick. I’m so beyond sick and tired of dealing with all this.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[2hero2academia]

Season 1 Episode 5- “What I Can Do For Now” (part 2)

is this hazing? anyways. the first thing tenya does after being introduced to the concept of his theoretical imminent expulsion is to whip out a bottle of… water? honestly, this could be alcohol and we’d never know. he takes a sip despite there being no flashbacks in sight

and we start getting the character intro cards, now narrated by present mic! i’m not going to show all of them because that would be a lot, but i would like to say that i love them so. i love the sudden style and color change, the whole thing just feels so comic book it’s crazy. tenya speeds through the 50 meter dash like a legend and tsuyu hops along behind him!

ignore aoyama falling over here. or don’t, it is pretty funny. a thing i didn’t ever really notice, ashido takes off her shoes here so she can use her acid to slide along at a quicker pace. it’s no wonder she eventually gets custom shoes made so she can do the same but without needing to take off her shoes, because that shit’s hazardous.

while everyone’s getting all excited about using their quirks in the tests, izuku’s over here panicking about what the fuck he’s even going to do. like what the fuck? what the fuck. he’s really going through it right now. aizawa knows this and he doesn’t care because he’s cruel and mean and he think’s izuku’s a stupid little bone-breaking twerp

izuku thinks back to what all might taught him earlier off camera. but now it’s on camera and it’s new content, so no sips are needed here. once again, all might proves himself to be terrible at giving advice on using one for all. i’ll bet that back when he was a scrawny little middle schooler, nana gave him one for all and she was so ready to teach him all the things it took forever for her to learn about the quirk, but toshinori just starts using it and nana’s like “how. the fuck.?” and toshinori’s just smiling like a stupid little puppy like “what is it master? oh by the way look at how hard i can punch things now!!!!” and nana just throws her hands in the air and calls it quits. that’s the real reason she got torino to be toshi’s teacher, because she was not prepared to teach a prodigy all by herself

izuku tries to explain how using one for all felt first with onomatopoeias and then with the much more down to earth “an egg about to explode in a microwave.” this is a very interesting metaphor, because why the fuck would you put an egg in a microwave? anyways, my two pieces of advice would probably have been “maybe take the egg?? out of the microwave????” or “your egg is going to explode if you put it in a microwave. poke a hole in it first so it doesn’t explode”. we used to make microwave hot dogs when i was a kid, and the whole thing about microwaving a hot dog is if you just put a hot dog into a microwave they’ll fucking explode, so you have to stab it with a fork first and then it’ll be okay in the microwave. all might tells izuku some vague shit about lowering the wattage or decreasing the cooking time, which in all honesty might have gotten izuku to something resembling full cowl eventually. lowering the wattage could be seen as “hey maybe don’t shove 100% of your power into your arm, just use like half power. or 1%.”

do you think in the distant future, people make those shaggy ultra instinct jokes about izuku only using 5 percent of his power

well, i can certainly say that izuku gives it his all. but when faced with nineteen other super powered teenagers, sometimes your all isn’t really enough. izuku has no idea how to not blow up the egg, and he’s really going through it right now

meanwhile, ochako throws a ball out of the fucking atmosphere. how does it register as infinity?? isn’t the ball still just some number of meters away? just in space now? is that ball still up there, after all this time?

new crack theory for how mha ends: uraraka’s ball comes crashing back into earth and lands directly on top of all for one, killing him instantly

tenya says that if izuku doesn’t do anything soon he’ll be the one in last place. katsuki says “no shit, he’s quirkless.” i think about this interaction so much. what must tenya have been thinking here? i don’t think he knows at this point that izuku and katsuki went to school together, so he probably assumes that katsuki assumed that izuku was quirkless just because he hasn’t done anything yet. but what about after he knows? do you think tenya even remembers this conversation? if so, how do you think he rationalizes it in his brain? why did katsuki think izuku was quirkless when he so very obviously is not? tenya comes to the conclusion that izuku never once used his quirk in front of katsuki in all the years they spent together and also never disputed the claims that he was quirkless because he has social anxiety. yes, this makes the most sense

bro this literally happened earlier in the episode i’m losing my mind and taking a sip

izuku goes to throw the ball-

and- wh- hUh??????

… thank you, measuring device 5a.

aizawa reveals that he has a telekinesis quirk! ah, no, wait, he has a quirk that erases other people’s quirks! hey, anybody know if it’s ever explained why aizawa does… all that whenever he uses his quirk?? is it just for the aesthetic, or is there a real reason? i mean i dig it. makes him look very eldritch horror adjacent

izuku outs himself as a nerd of the highest degree because he recognizes mr underground over here even though he probably shouldn’t in all honesty. izuku is kind of a stalker

you know this is a lot of talk coming from a guy who just kind of threw himself at a sea of villains without any backup whatsoever. i guess aizawa’s more of a “do as i say, not as i do,” type of guy. i feel that. anyways, he bullies izuku for having a dumb bone breaking quirk

man. nobody’s ever on izuku’s side. he finally gets a quirk and then his hero teacher tells him “your quirk is stupid and you’re stupid for thinking a quirk like that will let you be a hero”

unfortunately for aizawa, izuku has heard those words a million times before and they mean nothing to him now that someone he cares about has told him the opposite

i forgot this happened! aoyama tries to comfort ochako and she’s like “??? i literally don’t even know you”

oh how you’ll be eating those words, aizawa

izuku has a little inner monologue about he has to try harder than everyone else and comes up with a little loophole to not break all of his bones

good golly gee, the Emotions katsuki must have felt the moment he saw izuku use a quirk. it’s like you’ve grown up alongside a person and they seemed like a normal boring person and then one day you see their arm turn into a gun and you’re like “????????? ayo wtf?????? how long have you had a gun for an arm????? and why didn’t you tell me????? ??????”

alternate universe where one for all is just a really cool gun that the users have passed on for generations and to use it you have to cut off your arm and replace it with said gun. i’d read it. maybe i should write it. hm. gun for all au, anybody?

owo what’s this? that number… 705.3 meters… why, approximately ten centimeters further than katsuki’s throw! guess he’s really not number one no more. i wonder how far izuku could’ve thrown the ball if he had used his entire arm…

anyways, the loophole to not breaking his bones was to break… less of them but still to break his bones.

in the manga, he’s also crying a bit. izuku of the not so distant future is going to have crazy pain tolerance, but izuku of the right here right now can’t even break his finger bones without his eyes getting watery. interesting character development right there. fun things to think about. kinda sad, but whatever

aizawa is intrigued by this strange little bone breaking hero wannabe who has apparently never trained his quirk a day in his life and yet is also weirdly receptive to criticism??? i wonder what aizawa’s thinking about izuku. mostly “what the hell,” i’d guess, but like (fond), you know?

oh also all might’s been hiding behind a wall and watching events unfold. did he also skip orientation or is orientation already over?

canon things: all might thinking izuku is metal as hell

anyways, that’s all for episode 5!! we’ve made it to ua! and already we’re tossed right into the thick of it!! izuku’s struggling to keep his place in class and it’s only day one!! will our heroes remain in 1-a and begin their tutelage under ua’s staff, or is this the end of the road already? find out next time on dragon- er wait- on my hero academia!!!

refill count: 1

#2022 mha liveblog #season 1 #bnha #mha #midoriya izuku #aizawa shouta #iida tenya #all might #bakugou katsuki

[golden-gypsy]

Yes you were right I'm not the Motley Crue anon lol

I've been off and on Tumblr for 5 yrs or so. Tried other social media sites but found them too overwhelming and they never quite fit my personality.I like the format of it here and have found a lovely group of like minded people. And this secret Santa game is such a fun way of meeting new people. Last year I was matched with 2 bloggers who are mutuals now that I probably wouldn't have met otherwise and I'm so happy as they are both wonderful.

My fav genre is mystery though this year I've been trying to read more music biographies. There's so many good ones and sometimes I try to read ones that aren't necessarily of an artist I'm overly familiar with. I try not to limit myself to just one genre of music and will listen to all kinds. Do you have one particular fav? Or do you listen to a wide range of music?

Teaching! Oh that's fantastic. We need more teachers in the world especially in the art fields. I applaud you and your dedication.

Ooh a doggy. How nice. I'm pet free at the moment but love animals. And Fleetwood Mac are such a good band. So many classic songs that stand the test of time. Have you liked the band long?

I do have a lot of shooting to do but am glad to report most of it is done. I do a lot online as it takes a lot of the stress away for me. Do you enjoy the hustle and bustle of it all? I know some that love being out in the crowds with the Christmas music playing and all the decorations and everything.

Are there any particular traditionsyou have at Christmas?

🤶🏼

I figured you weren't the Motley Crue ask haha. I'm glad I guessed right.

Honestly, I don't really use social media, so I surprised myself when I started this lol. There always seems to be alot of negativity, so I just always kinda stayed away from it. I think this seems like a great way to meet some people too! We shall see how it works for me 🤣.

What kind of music biographies do you generally read? I'll admit, I don't think I've read any except for a Kurt Cobain one in high-school. In tend to find myself listening to more classic rock and 90s grunge. Do you have any favorite musical artists?

Thank you! I haven't started the job yet, but I hope it goes well. What kind of job do you have? Or are you still in school?

I have 3 pets. 1 dog and 2 cats.

Yeah, I love Fleetwood Mac haha. They've been one of favorites since middle school.

I love Christmas time. Sometimes the shopping can stress me out a bit haha, but I love the whole atmosphere around Christmas. And I enjoy Christmas music as well... and looking at lights.

We always go looking at Christmas lights, and I have a weird thing that the Christmas tree topper has to go on last lol. Do you have any traditions?

Thank you for the ask!

#secret rocker santa #srs23

[impuretale]

I don’t know how normal it is, but there is a level of pain I have been to a couple times in my life where my brain passes a threshold where it just won’t let anymore information through, because if I fully comprehended everything happening to me at once, I would somehow break and die. So I just feel like burning everywhere that something is happening. That’s the only way I can explain it and I do not know if it is a named phenomena.

The first time it happened was when my mom and I wrecked after my freshman year of college. Hairline fracture in my shin, concussion, shards of glass in my face and hand. The concussion probably helped more than hindered because I couldn’t process a lot that could freak me out. I just knew the places where I was hurt because those felt like they were hot and being concussed I had very little interest in moving or checking anything while I was being handled. Probably for the better.

The second time was after I had a stroke. If you lose function and sensation in a part of your body after one, the way it was explained to me is that the signal pathways your brain has been using to operate that part of your body have been damaged and closed off. Half of therapy is teaching your brain new pathways to use that part of your body as much as possible. Sometimes there aren’t any, and sometimes there’s a few, but not all of them. In my case, you’re dealing with neuropathy, a host of symptoms caused by nerve damage, which can range from tingling to numbness to pain and more -- worse in my leg and hip than it is in my arm, but my general state now in the affected area is that I can feel some pressure, extreme cold and heat (delayed), and nothing else. (But sometimes pain -- which seems unfair; I can’t feel a dog or cat when I pet them but I know when I’ve stubbed my toe after the fact? Bullshit.) But what I also had was osteoarthritis in my knees. Need to sleep with my legs bent because if they’re straight for too long they’ll stiffen up and cause a lot of pain when I try to move them again.

So I experienced a very bad flareup of that while in the hospital, times a thousand, because my body was still fighting very hard to find new nerves on the affected side of my body, and hadn’t quite figured out how yet. So why not just set off all of them and see what’s lighting up? So the entire right side of my body was on fire. 

They were trying to administer a COVID test at the time; I could not be still long enough to do it successfully at the moment. Could not stop screaming and crying.

I’m not sure why the protective brain fire was worse this time compared to the last time. And I have certainly felt terrible pain since but not enough to set off the safeguard. It’s not exactly a threshold I want to test, but I would love to know if there is a word for what my brain is doing.

#medical #stroke mention

[stormy333]

Growing Pains

°When I was a child I spake as a child, understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.° • 1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV

Hello Loves, I hope you are all well and good but I don’t want to bore you with an intro I want to get right to the topic of choice tonight. I say tonight because I’m writing this in bed on the seventh anniversary of my best friend’s death.

If you’re thinking “wow Hailey that’s dark af right now, what’s up with that” well no denying its dark. But there is more to it. Stay if you dare?

I mentioned that as I am writing this it is the seventh anniversary of my best friends death, so to give you further intel on that the best friend I am referring to was a golden retriever/yellow lab named Buddy who I grew up with. He was a puppy when I was a baby so quite literally we grew up together. He was always there, he was my first dog and though a family pet he felt like he was the only one to ever understand be and as children do I latched onto that and talked to him about everything. He was my best friend and though I had begun to get more animals no bond was or ever has been like his. We were 11 so he was pretty up there in dog years I suppose and he had some health issues for a while, but for the last 3 or 4 days he hadn’t been eating and was constantly sick and it was time. Humanly my best friends suffering was put to an end so he could live a pain free life on the other side. I know I know darkness, but there is a meaning for this. Talking about it I mean.

Losing him was just the beginning.

I say losing Buddy was the start because shortly after I lost him the bond formed with the girl. Shortly after that she ended up living with us and our friendship was rocky but there. All during this my symptoms progressively surged? Formed? Showed? My body started turning on me it seemed. For ages no one believed me, I honestly didn’t believe me. Test after test, family meeting after family meeting. New things this way and that. All leading up to who and where I am today.

I was 11.

You all are probably curios as to how that all ties in with the verse that is at the top of this post huh? Well to be completely honest with you this is going to be one of those up for interpretation things but this is where I see it and my thoughts and of course as always feel free to share yours in the comments or by direct message on any of my socials. But here goes, I remember my dad using this verse a lot when he preached and last night it randomly popped into my head and since I was trying to find how to incorporate it to a post. Lately I’ve been in my head a lot and I’ve probably said this before but sometimes that can be good and others not so much. This time I’m leaning more towards it’s a good thing. Why’s that you ask? Well during the time frame I lost buddy I went through a number of things that began to mature me and shape me into the woman I am becoming today. See lately I’ve been reflecting on these past few years and the things I’ve said, people I’ve hurt, people who’ve hurt me and things that have been said and events that have happened. All of these things they made me. To be completely truthful with you all I was hating pretty heavily on myself the other day but something in me pointed to this verse.

To be exact though it was how much I’ve grown in just the past few years. I look back to things I said and conversations that were had and don’t recognize myself. How could I? Some of these things I’ve written about in the moment and now looking back on the posts I want to do like a second part and show how I’m looking at what I did and what I could have changed and how I’ve grown from it. Which is where this verse came into play. Honestly let’s break this piece off for a second:

When I was a child I spake as a child.

The amount of friendships and relationships I cost myself or possibly cost myself because of how stubborn and scared and ignorant I was. It’s redonkulos! As much as they hurt me, I hurt them just as bad if not worse. This is where the full effect of the verse takes place. (I’m just going to paraphrase this verse for the moment but you can always scroll back up for the full verse) When I was a child, I spoke, acted and thought childishness, when I grew up I put all of those things away. A new sight if you will. All of this has been in my mind lately. I look back at all these things I could have done differently but I guess what I’m getting at in this post is that you can’t change the past. I can’t change my past BUT we can change our future. We can work on our selves and our mindset and how we think, feel and act an then bam one day we’re all grown up. We will never be perfect, we are still going to slip up and do things, hurt people and generally be human but we can be better. We can grow ourselves. When we make a mistake strive to learn from it and not do it again. I have this fitness journal that has goals and quotes in it and one of the quotes from it said “the best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today” and that also went with something my father said while preaching a few times. It kinda clashes too but bare with me I think you’ll get the picture. There is no yesterday only today. What’s past is past because today is technically yesterday and we aren’t promised a tomorrow. And if you think about it tomorrow ends up being today.

So to sum it all up? Learn from it grow from it. Be better than you were. Be happier than you were and by you I me we and i. Because guys these last year’s I’ve been something I’m not proud of but I’m becoming someone to be proud of and my hope is that you can all do the same. Another thing is that I out grew a lot of people and I didn’t realize that until after I had said and done things I now regret. See it’s okay and normal to outgrow people, places and things, in fact you should want that. I didn’t understand that for a while. In a way this is an apology to those? But mostly an apology to myself. For not realizing that I needed to leave before the damage was done, for not leaving when my gut and heart told me too. For not leaving sooner. I’m sorry for not staying away when I was already gone. I’m sorry for being selfish and wanting to give it a second shot or third or millionth because I wanted it to work I wanted it to not be over. I thought change and growing was a bad thing BUT it isn’t. If it all went bad I pray we both grew positively from it. If we just grew apart I pray we learned something from one another. When all is said and done maybe you’re not meant to be in their whole book but just a chapter or two but some characters though brief are forever imprinted.

All of that being said I hope this at least makes some sense to you all and doesn’t just sound like a pointless rambling because to me it’s another entry into my life.

As always I love you all and as always I’ll see you next time!

💕Hailey

[thefirsthogokage]

Criminal Minds 16x07:

'What Doesn't Kill You'

Spoilers: Yes

Reactions/Commentary Below The Cut

Oh yes, Tara's bullshit relationship crap happened.

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Oh, was the girl with the dog still alive?

Oh there's more than one girl? Or an audio recording? (Or even the same case?)

Oh that's right, this guy had absolutely weird psych stuff that made no sense. The last episode was not great.

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This annoying guy is actually being hilariously nervous in this scene.

"I figure after being assaulted, drugged, and killed in the line of duty, what's the worst that could happen?" HA

Black lady AG, nice.

This start of this scene with Tara is hilarious. But god I hope that Tara and Rebecca don't get back together. Rebecca is such a fucking shit.

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No, AG, that's not thin.

Oh, the ambitious guy willing to quit with Prentiss?

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What? Bailey isn't a profile.

Oh they definitely didn't get on this case fast enough.

That had to be a fantasy. You.

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Ugh, I hate trapped cases.

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I do love Emily.

This episode is so much funnier than normal.

Oh, trumper parents. Geezus. I mean, yeah, fuck the FBI, but also, GEEZUS. I guess Bailey came in handy with this interview afterall.

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Oh, both taken girls are still alive.

Oh, the girl with the dog, he didn't take the girl.

There is nothing for Tara to be sorry about. What is with this show and sometimes.havong bullshit with Black actors' characters.

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Injustice collector. I remember that from previous episodes.

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CGI gas, ew.

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Him not wanting to be this way, yet also being completely fine with things sometimes is so not a thing. It can't be. I mean, I guess I could technically see a fellow ADHDer being like that.

Oh, he's slipping. Starting to say the daydreams outloud.

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Oh no, is Grace dead and this other.girl is going to be lead to her body?

Is this building an abandoned campus building?

Nope. She has to make a choice. And of course he lied. It was a test, she failed, and the other girl will die.

That is such a brutal whip. Ugh, poor girl.

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Ew ew ew. All this religious stuff. Ok, that could have been worse.

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Why is this guy, the Penelope vigilante guy, out in public when it could get him killed? I'm not sure he isn't a plant yet, either.

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Girl, you are playing with a killer.

Oh Grace is still Alive. Not for long though. Poor girl. He left one in her to use as a weapon?

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Bailey seriously was never out in the field?

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"Come and get it mother fucker." GET HIM! OH GRACE WAS ALIVE! YES PLEASE LIVE FOR ONCE!

Oh Emily going to take him on by herself? Did she get passed the "gets to take down the final boss" thing that Hotch and Gideon used to do?

Oh nice job Bailey!

Oh no, Grace, is going to die too, isn't she? Oh, she might live!

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His psych stuff is so odd.

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This scene is so dark. Or is it my settings?

Oh fuck, she closed the case? WHAT? Dumb bitch.

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I don't really trust this guy. There has to be more of a twist to him.

I do like the thicker girl is getting the chance to get the guy.

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Whelp, Rossi has partial eyes on him now.

So odd they are doing a "post"credits scene.

On the table, ew.

#criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #criminal minds 1607 #riley watches tv #riley watches criminal minds

[kayliemusing]

50

What name do you go by most often? - Kaylie

Is that your real name or a nickname? - Real name

Has your birthday come yet this year? - Yes, it was back in March

Where is your mom right now? - Upstairs watching Under The Banner of Heaven

What were you doing at 4pm? - I was watching Leon Lush YouTube videos

Are you a good speller? - Yes

Who was the last person to give you a ‘high-five’? - I have no idea. It's been so long. I feel like it was probably someone at work.

Would you consider yourself a shy person? - Yes.

Can you play the guitar? - No, but I wish I could so badly.

Three things you ate today? - Apple pie, hot dog, and liquorice. Very healthy choices.

What did you do last Sunday? - I can't remember that much. I think I went out with my mom maybe to the mall??

How many orange shirts do you own? - I don't think any?? I think I have one that has orange in it but not a true orange shirt.

Are you currently taking any prescription medications? - Just cipralex

Do you like skim milk? - No. I used to drink Almond milk, but now I just kind of avoid milk. If I drink it, it's regular 2% (but I'm lactose-intolerant so I try to avoid it as much as I can lmao)

How did you bring in the New Year? - I don't remember. I think I just went to bed lol

Are you missing anyone right now? - Not overly. I was missing my dad yesterday, but it's not so bad today.

If you could relive one moment in the past week what would it be? - I was super inspired and motivated last night and would definitely love to relive that short lived moment.

If you could spend 30 minutes with someone who is gone, who would you pick? - My dad

Biggest mistake to date? - Letting my cat outside at night back in June a month ago because she got hit by a car so we had to put her down :( Literally will never forgive myself.

Where did you go to grade school at? - Mattie McCullough

Have you ever lived in Tennessee? - No

Idaho? - No

Nebraska? - No

Maryland? - No

Texas? - I'm not American.

Does anyone in your family smoke? - A couple people. Some of my cousins do and my aunt does. I think she quit for a time but I also think she took up the habit again.

How many of the people you live with are over 21? - All 3 of us.

Who do you wish you could talk to right this moment? - I guess my dad? I always wish I could talk to him one more time.

How many clocks are in the room you are in? - Zero, except for the one in my phone.

Do you use MSN messenger? - I used to in middle school.

What time will it be in 6 hours? - It'll be almost 5 am I think.

Have you kissed anyone in the last week? - No

Do you enjoy classic rock? - Depends on the song. Generally not my go-to.

Have you ever been told you looked like someone famous? - In passing, but not as a true comment or compliment. When I was in middle school, sometimes I got people that told me I looked like the lead singer from The Band Perry but that was only because I had blonde hair and my hair was slightly curly/wavy from a fading perm lol. (Truly I don't look anything like her)

Are you anemic? - I was in high school. I think I still am, but I'd have to get tested to see.

At Christmas, do you have a fake or a real tree? - Fake, because my mom always said that real trees are too messy and they get sap and needles everywhere lol. I also think fake trees are prettier because they have less gaps between the branches.

Do you usually go watch fireworks on the 4th of July? - Again, I'm not American. (I also don't usually go on Canada Day because I don't have anyone to go with and I kind of don't care)

Do you remember when the game Oregon Trail was really popular? - No

Does anyone have your heart? - A bunch of random fictional men

What did you do last Valentine’s Day? - I think I worked, but even if I didn't, I was probably at home not doing anything.

Can you count to 20 in any other language? - No. I could at one point but definitely not anymore

How old were you in 2001? - 3

In 1973, how many years was it until you were born - or were you born? - 25 I think?

Have you ever had a crush on someone, and found out they liked your friend? - No

Have you ever been liked by someone you didn’t expect would like you? - I'm not sure? There was a guy in high school that I think liked me but that was never confirmed so I only suspected, but I could've been totally wrong. If he did like me, then yes, and only because we were in separate crowds.

Who ended your last relationship? - I've never been in a relationship

How do you feel about that? - I'll answer according to MY last answer lol. It's low-key embarrassing never having dated or even kissed anyone because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me OR it makes me feel like OTHERS think there's something wrong with me.

Do Mondays get you down? - Not really. I work in retail so Mondays just mean a slower day which means less crazy or rude people.

How long have you been at your current job? - Almost four years which is INSANE. I don't know how I've lasted this long. I've been saying I want to leave for two and half years but it's not the worst job so I've stuck it out until I have a sense of direction of where I actually want to go. Tbh, just as a vent moment, my job wouldn't be so bad if corporate wasn't so strict and then in turn, we didn't have such high-expecting and can't-be-impressed managers.

Have you ever been fired? - No

How many times have you been pulled over by the cops? - Never! I'm so scared of this so I always drive the speed limit even if my mom is riding shot gun and telling me to stop driving like a grandma.

What is your mood like right now? - I feel really upbeat and content for a change.

Where did you go today? - I went out for a quick grocery stop at Co-Op and then about an hour ago I went out for a small walk with my mom around our neighborhood.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? - Not personally, but what a weird/great question

Do you cut the crusts off your sandwiches? - No

Do you prefer sweet or unsweetened tea? - I don't really drink tea but I love sweet things so probably sweet?

Who did you last embarrass yourself in front of? - Oh my god. I don't even want to relive this but I will for the sake of this survey. I had a zoom interview for an editing mentorship and she sent me the wrong email (which is kind of her fault) so I was worried that I had the time wrong so I joined and she was in the middle of another interview and I was so embarrassed and felt so bad. She was cool about it and took fault, but I'm also very blessed to have social anxiety so I, of course, replayed the moment over and over again in my mind and tortured myself with it for nine or ten hours. Maybe to anyone else it wasn't embarrassing, but I was humiliated and so flustered for my actual interview.

Would you rather meet the president or win $500 dollars from the lottery? - Money please.

What was the reason you last smiled? - Joking around with my mom and sister.

A Little About Your Friends List 8 Good Friends: - My guy, I can tell you right now that I don't have eight friends.

Mom

Jen (Sister)

Megan

Mikaela

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1. Mom

Are you related to this person? - Yes

What did you do the last time you hung out? - We just talked, laughed, the usual.

Would you trust this person to keep a secret? - Yes and no. Yes because she's trustworthy, but I'd also expect her to most likely tell my grandma unless I explicitly asked her not to.

Who is this person dating? - Nobody.

Do you live in the same town? - Yes, and household.

2 Jen

Are you dating this person? - No but she's a catch

Would you consider this person attractive? - Yes

What is this person’s full name? - N/A

Is this person taller than you? - No

Do you go to the same school? - Yes until we graduated.

3 Megan

Is this person engaged? - No.

What color is this person’s hair? - It's like a light brown

Where does this person work? - She's a manager at a movie theatre

When did you last call this person? - We never call each other actually, but we text and for some reason we only text through snapchat???

Have you ever been drunk together? - No

4 Mikaela

What is this person likely doing right now? - Probably going to sleep. It's a tad late.

Does this person have any children? - No

How did you meet this person? - We met at work!

Have you ever had a crush on this person? - No

Where was the last place you went together? - We went out for coffee last week at Dose.

5

What is this person’s middle name?

Does this person like rap music? Has this person ever been arrested? Is this person older than you? When did you last see this person?

6

Have you ever met this person’s parents?. When is this person’s birthday? Is this person still in high school? What color are this person’s eyes? Do you work with this person?

7

Do you and this person share an ex?

Where was the last place you went to eat with this person?

What color is this person’s car? Can this person play the piano? Does this person like scary movies?

8

How long have you known this person?

Does this person have hair past their shoulders? Does this person have any tattoos? Have you ever kissed? Did you go to grade school with this person?

Finish the Sentence

My hair is: Blonde, but a bit greasy lol

I wish I was: already successful in my writing career, and content and happy.

The only thing I can’t stand: - Arrogant people. Literally would yeet them off the planet if I could. There is no way: - That Taylor Alison Swift released "evermore" her ninth studio album and then never spoke of it again. (Seriously never even sang one song live, not even on instagram or a clip on TikTok. Nothing.) Literally cannot believe the audacity.

Someday I am going to: - Sell many, many books that do really well and I go many, many unbelievable places in my career. (I'm manifesting)

I couldn’t live without: My mom (and Taylor Swift)

I hate when: - My job calls me on my day off

I love it when: - I have a day off.

Sometimes I can be: - Fatalistic oops.

I am not interested: - in politics.

#survey

[taketwo-orthree]

Yall know how dogs are suppose to be the very definition of selfless and unconditional love? Well I'm not saying that the statement is false, all I'm saying is the dogs with owners who have to fix their sleep schedule to get ready for overnight shifts should've been asked before that statement was deemed true

My dog right now:

#ibetalkin #😂 #dog #dogs #love #work #overnight shift #is it called graveyard shift still #i dont know why i wanted to type gravedigger shift but whatever i guess #same conclusion can be drawn roght #also gravedigger sounds more appropriate #cause if it the illegal kind #then you do that shit in the dead of night right #also im having heart palpitations cause i been up for so long cause i couldnt sleep during the day #it is 5:40am #ive always had shit sleep schedule but usually around 3am im down #so my dogs love has been tested for quite sometime now #its pitch black outside but i thibk i already hear mornin birds #im trying to stay up yil 7am #cause those will be my hours #7 to 7