#so nicely colored heeeee
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can u tell us more abt al and smunker lore!!
its not really anything tangible or even interesting its just the current backdrop for my little continuous daydream i explore before sleeps
Foundational info:
(in past) Cow Al is struggling to recover from emotional crisis experienced in college (traumatic relationship), + tries to hold down some jawb but finds himself unable to stay in that environment away from home (none of his "friends" acknowledge the turmoil which makes him feel more lost), + moves back to family farm.
He likes doing different kinds of manual jobs which are always needed around + he does have that "my parents are my best friends" thing going on so he kind of just stays there to present day.
He lives in a little, idk what else to call it but a mobile home, but its the longer rectangular ones ykwim, some ways off the main Hub. (Also there's lots of focus on community in my furryverse + there's lots of non al family furs living in and working on the place + sharing resources and work and such. Its not a HUGE place but its big ^_^)
Anyway, Smunker moves in to the little forest that you cld walk to from the farm area. He lives in a little sunken tree stump den thing hee heeeee. Not many other furs live there, + there's actually more Lesser Animals (what i call just regular non furry animals) present
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The two of em meet at a grocery store, there was a relevant little point here that I forgot, which was that one of em wasn't even supposed to be there that first day for (x reason). Whatever.
The area that Cow Al lives in doesn't have very many Different looking furs. Al's family is actually all natural colors too. So he sees this pink smunk and goes a little insane (positive) (he promises later its not just because smunker looks different, but it was what drew his eye) but they never really interact (al keeps going to that same store Just In Case lol) until one day (cliche incoming) the little wheeled ladder that helps smaller furs get to higher shelves isn't available + he gets to help smunker get something from high up (he all but runs to be able to be the person to do this LOL)
Al actually has game + is confident, he's just out of practice from prior Events. He loves being social and misses making/being able to make friends so he does in fact manage to build up on interactions with Smunker...they become friends ➡️ realize they live close to each other.
Al actually accidentally damages smunker's home at some point by accident, + houses them while it's fixed, and there's another instance where smunker gets his leg caught in an illegal bear/foot trap on the walk back home at night, and then Al is also adamant on keeping an eye on him while he heals (+ is also the one who had to go help him get out of said trap...its literally a whole dramatic thing.)
I think I'm keeping both of these events as canon because it leads to the funny little situation of Al being like no wayyyyy i actually for real like this guy now that we've spent more time together like this...i need him to sleep on my belly to live :3 and cant stop having weird dreams about him. Idk if he feels the same. heeeeeeeeeelp. While skunker is like. Im for real going to kill myself for inconveniencing this person. He probably thinks im the biggest nuisance ever. I've overstayed my welcome for sure.
I haven't yet decided on the event that gets em Together. Might just be a little "date" at nearby ducky pond or something LOL. Skunker is shocked either way like huhh I didn't even know you liked me... Al has to get used to having a small partner again + navigate a relationship that doesn't suck ass again. Smunker has to get used to having big nice bf who cares about them. They like each other
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Meanwhile a figure stands from afar...
"Shishishi wow Jade... Wow," A certain hyena beastman snickered. "He's that charming ain't he eh Raven? What an icky yet lovely sight," Ruggie smirked as he leaned against the wall watching the scene that was unfolding right in front of him.
"Leona-san would be so grumpy when he sees this so lucky you I guess," He said while standing tall to leave. "This is a good day... For me of course, I'm not telling Leona-san but this would be a nice info to tell someone someday shishishi," he thought laughing to himself once again and left the two.
[Referencing this post!]
M-More rps in my inbox OTL
😷 Ruggie.................................................... Bro. BRO. OTL NOT COOL, MAN.
The Writing Raven Roosts.
“R-Ruggie-san...!” Raven startled and nearly choked on her cookie, jolting and straightening her spine once she took note of the beastman’s presence nearby. He lingered in the doorway to the attic, shoulder to the frame and a lazy, lopsided grin on his face. “Just... Just how long have you been standing there?!”
“Oh, for a while now—but hey, don’t sweat it. I don’t expect a bird’s senses to be as sharp as a hyena’s~” Ruggie snickered. “Nishishishi... And who knew eels could be so mushy, huh?”
Jade’s eyes narrowed. “I do not recall you being invited into the Crowley household.”
“From what I’ve heard, neither were you.”
His gaze turned sharp and dangerous, pointed like his teeth. “I closed and locked the doors after myself. How did you get in?”
“Lockpicking’s no sweat for a guy like me.” Ruggie wiggled his dexterous fingers. “I had to let myself in somehow to say hi to my best buddy Raven-kun.”
“We are NOT friends,” she protested, leaping onto her feet.
“Shall I remove him from the premises then?” Jade volunteered with a smile—a bit too eagerly.
“No. There’s no need.” Raven stared intently at the hyena. “Well... If you have the wits about you to leave now, that is.”
“I get it, I get it. I’m not welcome here,” Ruggie sighed in defeat, holding both of his hands up. “Gee, sure would be a shame if Leona-san hears about this, though~”
“Wha... Why are you bringing him up?!” Raven demanded, adopting a full-on glare. Her cheeks colored peony with annoyance. “Am I meant to take that as a threat? As if I’m concerned with what Leona-san thinks of how I spend my free time!”
“Heeeee~ So you’re saying you definitely don’t care if he gets so grumpy he starts skipping classes again? He’ll ruin his 2 day perfect attendance streak. The headmaster asked you to keep tabs on Leona-san for him, didn’t he? If Leona-san acts up, it makes you look bad too.”
Raven’s left eye twitched.
Beside her, Jade relaxed slightly, like a wave of relief had just washed over him. “Fufufu. I do believe that Ruggie-san is attempting to extort you.”
Raven looked at the eel with an exasperated expression. “Of course you would know. You extort people all the time yourself.”
“Ding, ding, ding! Jade-kun’s right on the money! And speaking of money...” Ruggie touched the tips of his thumb and index together, letting the rest of his fingers naturally fan out. “You can buy my silence and rescue your dignity for the right price!”
“You’re... You’re bluffing,” she scoffed. “Leona-san wouldn’t care what I’m doing. The basis of your entire threat is all wrong.”
“Is that what you really think?” Ruggie’s ears briefly flattened. “Man, for an animal that can fly, you sure are dense sometimes.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I dunno~ Maybe you oughta use that bird brain of yours to figure it out.”
“Excuse me?!”
“Miss Raven. Ruggie-san. I think it would wise for the both of you to step back, take deep breaths, and calm yourselves,” Jade interjected, his voice an amicable croon. “No good can come of this aimless arguing.”
“Are you reprisin’ your role as Raven-kun’s hostage negotiator?” Ruggie said half-jokingly.
“Perhaps I am.” There was a subtle sharpness to Jade’s words, perceptible only to a beastman’s heightened hearing. A darkness set in the gold of his left eye. “I would highly advise that you stay hush about my interaction with Miss Raven. You wouldn’t wish any of your own dirty laundry aired to the public, now would you?”
“You drive a hard bargain.”
“It is Octavinelle’s specialty.”
Ruggie heaved a sigh as he scratched the back of his head. “... Alright, I got it. I’ll keep my trap shut.”
“That’s what I like to hear. Please kindly see yourself out.” Jade turned away, redirecting his attention to his small storyteller (who mumbled a terse “thank you”).
“... See ya. Enjoy your tea time.”
Ruggie pushed himself off of the door frame and slipped out of the house, quiet as a mouse.
Sure would be nice if I had gotten some fat stacks for coming all this way... The hyena lamented. But oh well. Leona-san’s still paying me for checking up on Raven-kun for him.
The sky was bleeding with warm colors, the sun sinking into the horizon and stealing away all the light with it. A beautifully somber sunset.
“... Man. He’s not gonna like this at all.”
Better leave out the mushy gushy stuff, I guess.
#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#Ruggie Bucchi#Jade Leech#Raven Crowley#Ruggie best wingman#Jade Leech thirst#NOT L*ONA ROT#notes from the writing raven
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I’m not super happy with this chapter but I wanted it out of the way so.
CW: dehumanization; kidnapping/human trafficking; pet whump;
Chad got inside, with that same bright, lovely smile, as he held Orfeu by his waist and pulled him into a smooch before giving him a bunch of flowers. Orfeu was a bit shocked by this, just staring at them for a moment, before getting a jar to put them on.
“Thank you so much. This is so sweet!”
“Just like you!” Chad says, getting even more things, wrapped in colorful paper and setting them on the table “I’m happy to finally meet your family. I got them both gifts”
Speaking of which… Haru was staring at them from the doorway, half hidden behind his hair and with a weird expression. Blue, however, came running, jumping right past Haru.
“Heeeee-lloooooo!” They sing, jumping over Chad and hugging him, nearly making them loose balance.
Chad seems a bit overwhelmed, still unused to the way pets are and behave, the idea all seeming too strange for him. So, Orfeu pulls Blue back, holding him on his lap instead, as Blue wraps hands and legs around him.
“This is Blue, as you can see” Blue humms, still holding him “...That one there is Haru. Guys, this is Chad”
Haru flinched back, hiding even more, only one eye peeking. Chad waved for him, and he didn’t wave back. Orfeu gestured for him, and he finally, hesitantly, walked into the kitchen, grabbing at Orfeu’s clothes as he set Blue down.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you. Orf talked a lot about you guys. I got some gifts!”
Blue jumps over the gift, not even paying much attention to chad anymore. Haru gets his, hesitantly.
“Thank you” he gestures shyly.
“No proble-”
“BONNIE’S BONNIE-”
They turn, as Blue screams, holding a much smaller, keychain version of Bonnie, gesturing a ‘mind blown’.
“Yeah! Did you like-”
“BONNIE’S BONNIE” Blue repeats, and runs back inside the house, leaving Chad wondering what happened.
“Is he always… Always like this?”
“When he is happy” Orfeu shrugs.
“Well, good then” Chad smiles “Is Sweet Pea…”
“No. A lot angrier and more scared”
Haru at this point is holding his own gifts, a soft pink shirt with a ribbon. He says a thank you again, and holds the shirt close. Blue comes back from inside, jumping around, now holding Bonnie and lifting it to Chad’s face.
“BONNIE! IT’S BONNIE! BONNIE’S BONNIE OWNER”
Orfeu giggles and steps inside, seeing as he is starting to break the ice with the boys… Well. It’s time for the actually hard part, as he walks upstairs.
Of course, as soon as he opened the door, he saw Sweet Pea hiding the plush and putting on that angry face. He closed the door, leaning against the wall.
“Sweet Pea, we need to talk-”
“Leave me alone” He says, as per usual.
“...It’s important, Sweet Pea. And trust me you’ll want to know”
“I don’t” He snaps back, hiding his face. Orfeu ignores as speaks anyway. He has to know.
“..You’ll be going with someone else for a week”
...His face went pale, as he curled up.
“Master….?”
“No. Hell no. His name is Chad. He is nice. He won’t hurt you either. But you need to go”
“Why?”
“So your Master doesn’t find you”
“I want Master to find me!”
“Well I don’t want to go to jail, so that’s too bad” Orfeu smiles, trying to make the mood more playful, and failing miserably. Sweet Pea just stared at him, curling up further.
“Just a few days, and I can visit you-”
“As if I would want to see you more”
Orfeu leans against the wall, staring at the ceiling and holding back the tears. He was exhausted, he could barely think properly, and poor Sweet Pea was so… Scared. So lost in his own mind. Well, he was ripped out of his thoughts as the door creaked open, Chad going inside.
“Hey… Oh, so you are Sweet Pea?” Chad gave them that bright smile of his.
...The pet took a good look at them both… And fuck, Orfeu could swear he blushed. He held back a laugh.
“Sweet Pea, this is Chad. I feel like you’ll rather like him”
...And he blushed even deeper, looking away. With some coaxing from them both, and quite some struggle… they managed to fit Sweet Pea on the car. Orfeu sighed once he was gone, just hoping he was okay.
tag: @whumpropaganda @whumpzone @lave-whump @freefallingup13 @fanmanga1357-blog @lightdrinker @as-a-matter-of-whump @tears-and-lilies @temporary-whump-sideblog, @kim-poce @pinkraindropsfell @cupcakes-and-pain
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New Horizons (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)
Animal Crossing AU
(PART 1)
(PART 2)
Byleth, Megumi, and Kazuma must spearhead their group to safety after being transported to an unknown world…
…Of pure comfort and relaxation, led by talking Raccoons, apparently.
----
DAY 1
When the plane finally landed, Kazuma, Aqua and Megumi stretched and took in the island air.
(Kazuma) “Ya know for a buncha raccoons, they’re really good fliers!”
(Megumi) “It’s strange seeing our world like this. Though...the situation here seems far more ideal than the one I was in...”
(Aqua) “Hm? Whatcha mean?”
(Megumi) “...Oh! I’ll save that story for another time, I think everyone has sea legs...Or would that be air legs?”
Everyone else was shaken after being on a vehicle that defied all of their logic.
(Claude) “Sweet land, how I’ve missed you so!”
Kazuma rolled his eyes and turned around to see three raccoons.
Two of them were Timmy and Tommy and the bigger one seemed to be in charge.
(Tom) “Hello, is everyone here?”
(Megumi) “Yes, sir.”
(Tom) “Perfect! Now, let’s all head over to the plaza, I’ll be making our announcement there!”
After heading to the plaza, the raccoon took names of everyone and checked the names off his clipboard.
Once everything checked out, he cleared his throat.
(Tom) “Welcome everyone, to your new island! My name is Tom Nook, and I’m the founder and president of Nook Inc., yes yes! Today is the first day of your new pristine island life!”
Tom Nook explained to the party that they were to begin their new lives on this deserted island as a getaway package, and that their company would be providing everything they need to be comfortable.
Tommy and Timmy gave everyone tents to set up their first homes.
(Tom) “When you’re done, please head back to the plaza! We’ll see you in a bit!”
He turned around and began speaking to the smaller raccoons, presumably about what to do next.
(Byleth) “I guess we oughtta go head and find somewhere to camp out.”
(Kazuma) “Well, see ya in a bit then.”
Everyone nodded and went off in separate groups.
Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude
(Claude) “Ah, this gives me some nostalgia!”
(Edelgard) “You cannot be referring to the time when we were running away from those bandits, right?”
(Claude) “Course I am! It’s kinda a similar situation. On the move, unknown territory, and all of us together!”
(Dimitri) “I fail to see the connection. These aren’t bandits they’re...talking raccoons! I cannot wrap my head around this, nor the technology they possess!”
(Edelgard) “Megunee Kazuma and Aqua seem used to it though. They did say that this was their world, correct?”
(Claude) “We should ask ‘em next chance we get, I’m getting more and more curious about this place myself.”
(Dimitri) “Well in any case, is this where we are sleeping?”
The three of them were standing near the beach, the view looking right at the ocean waves crashing against the sand.
(Edelgard) “Beachside property, eh? Heh, looks like you do have some taste, Claude.”
(Claude) “I’m the only one who does here.”
Byleth, Darkness, Megumin
(Byleth) “Strange, I thought you would’ve gone with Kazuma and Aqua.”
(Megumin) “We already live with them, so it’s nice to take just a little break now and again! And besides, with how small this island is, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other a lot.”
(Darkness) “This truly is a fascinating world. No war, just peace and quiet...and...talking animals.”
(Byleth) “Yeah, it’s quite the sight. Oh and uh, while we’re here-”
(Darkness & Megumin) ?
(Byleth) “Try...not to weird Tom Nook and the kids out, yeah?”
(Darkness) “I honestly have no idea what you mean.”
(Megumin) “Uh...huh.”
The three of them made their tents nearby the river on the right side of the area.
Megumi, Kazuma, Aqua
(Megumi) “So this is camping!”
(Aqua) “First time?”
(Megumi) “Yes, I’ve never had the chance to do this as a kid. In Japanese cities, there’s not a lot of places where you can do this.”
(Kazuma) “Yeah, it’s a bit claustrophobic. Though, I wouldn’t know too much about that.”
(Aqua) “I’m still trying to figure out how we got here? I can contact Eris and Sothis just fine, so we definitely have access back but...”
(Megumi) “But you don’t know, yes?”
(Aqua) “Right. For Kazuma to get back to his old world, he had to defeat the Demon King. And when we got transported to Fodlan, I think we’re supposed to fight the Flame Emperor or something. As for here?”
(Kazuma) “Meh, I’m fine living in Animal Crossing.”
(Megumi) “So, what is this world? You seem to know this place a bit.”
(Kazuma) “I’ve played a few of the games myself, actually. Basically we just live here in houses and just laze around all day. It’s very relaxing to play, and it’s gonna be even sweeter to live in! Just the life I wanted!”
(Aqua) “Tch, of course the first thing you do is take advantage of it.”
(Kazuma) “Hell yeah, I am! No way I’m gonna let my life of luxury go away like this!”
(Megumi) “Well...Do you know if humans are still around? Tom and the others didn’t seem to react to us that violently.”
(Kazuma) “Oh yeah, it’s supposed to be modern day and everything. Japan, Europe, America, they’re all still here. Only difference is that there’s talking animals that live here in this world too, and no bad war or anything seems to happen.”
(Megumi) “I...I see.”
Megumi’s hand clenched around her necklace for a moment.
(Aqua) “You alright?”
(Megumi) “Y-Yes! Let’s just set our tents, shall we?”
They all nodded and got to work. Their tents were in the middle of a field with barely any trees around.
Everyone made their way back and Tom Nook smiled.
At least they assumed so, all he did was close his eyes.
(Tom) “Alright, with that taken care of, we can move onto more serious business...LIKE THROWING AN ISLAND-WARMING PARTY! We’ll have it right here in the plaza with a roaring campfire!”
(Claude) “Hah, that’s something I can get behind!”
(Aqua) “PARTY, WOOOO!”
(Tom) “I’m glad to see you’re so excited! Now, we’ll just need a couple supplies! Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard, let’s clean up the plaza! Byleth, Darkness and Megumin, you should find some snacks on the trees! I’ve test tasted a few of them and they’re safe to eat. Aqua, Megumi, and Kazuma, if I could have a word?”
Everyone got off to work as the three went up to Tom Nook.
(Tom) “Now, I know it says that Megumi is the Representative of the island, but can I entrust you two to help as well? You all seem the least nervous about the package, and I’m sure everyone would rally behind you!”
(Aqua) “Hah, you made a good choice!-”
(Kazuma) “Can we have Byleth instead?”
(Aqua) “HUH?!”
(Kazuma) “He’s actually our professor, alongside Megune-Er, Miss Sakura here. Aqua is just kinda here.”
(Tom) “A professor you say? Very well, Aqua could you go help Megumin and Darkness then?”
(Aqua) “I WON’T FORGET THIS KAZUMAAAAAAAA!”
She ran off quickly towards Byleth’s group and everyone else looked on in awkward silence.
(Tom) “...She’s a colorful character.”
(Megumi) “Hah, you have...no idea.”
(Kazuma) “Anyways, we’ll be more than happy to help mister Nook!”
(Tom) “Excellent, thank you very much! Now, let’s get to work!”
Kazuma walked off to help Dimitri’s group, but Megumi was still standing.
(Tom) “Is something wrong?”
(Megumi) “Um...is it possible to send a letter out?”
Later...
Once everyone did their assigned jobs, they all stood in front of the plaza as Tom stood in the center.
(Tom) “Now, it’s been a big day for the island of Garreg, and it’s gotten a bit late, so let’s all have a toast!”
Everyone got out their drinks.
(Tom) “These are pear drinks made with the help of Byleth, Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin!”
(Byleth) “Glad to have helped.”
(Aqua) “Hmph!”
(Darkness) “A simple task for a paladin.”
(Megumin) “Insultingly simple for the Crimson Demon!”
(Tom) “And we have this toasty fire thanks to the efforts of Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude, Kazuma, and Megumi!”
(Claude) “No need for thanks!”
(Dimitri) “How modest you sound, Claude.”
(Edelgard) “We appreciate the attention, mister Nook.”
(Kazuma) “My arms are sore as heeeee-...ck.”
(Megumi) “M-Mine as well, but it was well worth it in the end!”
(Tom) “Now, on the count of three, let’s have a cheer to our new life!”
“HERE HERE!”
The party began with everyone chugging down their drinks, and the music played from the nearby radio.
Aqua entertained everyone with her party magic, and for a grand finale, Megumin cast a powerful and colorful explosion in the skies. As everyone mingled and danced to the music, Byleth quietly slipped away from the crowd.
Megumi was the first to notice and followed her, which in turn made Kazuma follow her.
Byleth sat on the beach, watching the waves glisten from the starry sky above.
(Megumi) “Byleth?”
(Byleth) “Megumi.”
She sat down next to him, and Kazuma joined the two by sitting down as well.
(Byleth) “This...is a bit unsettling. I’ve never had an experience quite like this.”
(Kazuma) “After the first time you kinda get used to it.”
(Megumi) “I don’t understand how!”
(Byleth) “I...think I understand how you two feel now. Being transported to some unknown world, not sure what happened to everyone back at home...”
(Kazuma) “Bah, you got the easy end! We’re in a happy cuddly world, lot better to your war torn world!...No offense.”
(Byleth) “Hm. None taken. My world is the Monastery now anyway I don’t care much for outside of it.
(Megumi) “My old world was...enjoyable...until a certain day...”
(Kazuma & Byleth) “Huh?”
(Megumi) “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to bring the mood down! This is supposed to be a party after all!”
(Kazuma) “This have something to do with your letter you sent out?”
(Megumi) “Ah...”
(Byleth) “Letter?”
(Megumi) “Well...When you said that this was a world without crisis, and it was Earth in modern times I...asked Tom Nook to send out a letter to some former students I taught and my mother.”
(Kazuma) “What are their names?”
(Megumi) “Yuki, Yuuri, and Kurumi. In short, let’s just say...something happened to me that I was no longer able to talk to them so...If this world is truly as peaceful as you say, I wish to experience it with them. My family as well.”
(Sothis) “Hah, that’s much like her. Thinking about others before herself.”
(Kazuma) “Wouldn’t be Megunee if she didn’t right?”
(Megumi) “H-Huh? Who said that?”
Byleth and Kazuma’s eyes widened and Sothis faded away quickly.
(Byleth) “Um...Anyways, so what are we in for, Kazuma?”
(Kazuma) “Well...if this is like Animal Crossing, we’ll be living here for a good long while. We can pretty much relax everyday and do whatever we want. But uh...we’ll be in debt.”
Kazuma loudly sighed.
(Kazuma) “Even in a kid friendly world, my ass is still in debt...”
(Megumi) “Wait, debt?”
(Tom) “Oh, I wouldn’t phrase it that way!”
Everyone jumped up, hearing Tom directly behind them.
(Kazuma) “JESUS!”
(Megumi) “GAH!”
(Byleth) “WHOA!”
(Tom) “Sorry, I did not mean to frighten, haha! I just wanted to let you all know that everyone is heading back to their tent for some shut eye. I’ll be telling you all what’s in store for your new lives tomorrow!”
They looked at each other and nodded.
(Kazuma) “Well, we’re looking forward to our lives here!”
(Megumi) “Indeed!”
(Byleth) “It’ll be interesting.”
(Tom) “Good to hear it, good night!”
Tom nook waved everyone off and went back to the plaza.
(Byleth) “New lives...again.”
(Megumi) “I won’t waste the second chance of life I’ve been given.”
(Kazuma) “Same here...Wait, what?”
(Megumi) “Good night everyone!”
Byleth and Kazuma looked concerned for a moment, but decided to ignore it. After saying good night, they all went to bed.
#shitpost#fire emblem three houses imagines#fire emblem three houses headcanons#fe3h#fe16#gakkou gurashi#school-live!#konosuba#animal crossing new horizons#Edelgard von Hresvelg#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#Claude von Riegan#satou kazuma#dustiness ford lalatina#darkness#megumin#aqua#megumi sakura#animal crossing#tom nook
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hA hA Holiday
A short holiday one shot which features the Joker angsting over a Christmas alone in Arkham. (Writing is mine and so is the edit!).
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“Patient 0801, stop moving!”
“Someone grab his neck, get him in the strait jacket!”
But it was useless. He was thrashing wildly, arms and legs held down each by one guard as they wrangled him into a chair - the Joker. His body popped up and down like a wild animal as he hooted between threats (‘If you don’t lay your hands off me I’ll turn them into ornaments and sell them on Amazon!’), when otherwise he thrashed and seethed in anger. Backup was forced to intervene in reigning in their own resident clown to a wheelchair so transportation to the extreme isolation wing.
He’d been particularly violent in the rec room, a luxury his peculiarly calm behavior had earned before he’d tried to burn down the sensitized Christmas tree with some inmates tied like pretzels underneath. One had been found with their throat slit, and the others were sent to the infirmary with similarly fatal injuries. They were still wondering how he’d done all that with the Charlie Brown-esque four foot measly little tree.
But he hadn’t surrendered when they came for him, which they did. Many cuts and black spots later and he was still thrashing around. Then when the white coat came into direct view, the Joker somehow began to struggle harder.
“Someone hold his head, I can’t safely administer the medicine if he’s moving.” The Doctor said, readying the mix of the sedative and muscle relaxants and whatever else with a few loud taps. Cash managed to grab the clown by his temples, hands weeded in the green hair as he held it still enough for the needle to enter the vein so the plunger could be emptied.
“Doc I sssswear I’ll use your skin as wrappin’ paper—!” But it had already pierced his skin, and the straps were secured around all his limbs when Cash released him to thrash more, as if he was trying to refuse the medicine coursing through his bloodstream. He bared his teeth like a wild animal.
“Oh Doc! I you shouldn’t have—! Ho ha heEEEe hA hA!!” He laughed breathlessly, though unlike the guards around him he had hardly broke a sweat. “Have a merry Christmas! Don’t forget to save me a glass of champagne, and tell your wife ‘hello!’ for me.”
The insinuation didn’t go unnoticed, and delivered by the Joker it carried double the weight.
Peels of laughter followed him down the hall as they moved him to extreme isolation, but it was not cheerful or mocking; the laugh echoed menacingly, cold and chilling like a threat itself. Inmates passed and did nothing. They saw his lips, how they were right and unnaturally in a smile — more-so than usual — but his eyes were slits, the most telling of it all and his brows pulled down with them.
Cash tailed behind, wisely also silent. But he had always been the smartest of the guards, just not enough to deny the position as the head of them.
The cell door was bolted shut with rubber underneath to block out any light, all metal and a single small cot in side with a mattress more of springs than actual mattress.
Cash reached for the restraints but pulled back, nodding at the guards to be ready before going to unlock them again. “Don’t get any ideas, clown.”
The sedatives had diffused in him, and the Joker’s movements would be sluggish at best if he did try and attack. It would last just for another thirty minutes if that, but Cash was appropriately cautious. The Joker threw his head back and made a noise reminiscent of a growl and a giggle at once.
“Shouldn’t you be back home, Cassshhhh?” He hissed, voice like a snake’s as it slurred. “Isn’t your wife missing you, or better yet, your little brat children?”
Cash offered no savory reaction, only unbuckling the clown and escorting him into the cell and watching as he fell limply onto the bed once he was released. The points of tazers following the Joker’s body the whole way down. Down down down...
“Gotta admit, I never pegged you as the Scrooge-type.“ He stepped back, allowing a few more moments of light.
“And some of us have do have families to attend to but people like you keep us away from them, just not all of us.“ Cash didn’t smile as he continued, but later he would enjoy the look of pure contempt on the Joker’s face. “Your Bat-lover might not have come tonight, but you’ve always got New Years to look forward to.”
A black void enveloped the room when he did lock the door, and the Joker’s anger came to muffled light in the darkness. His teeth grit viciously together as blood fell down his forehead and dripped steadily onto the Arkham uniform, which had already been smeared in red.
No visitors tonight, not on Christmas. Looked like Batman had better things to do than deal with him, and the bitter normalcy of the situation made him sick.
It was hard to imagine him not prowling the night for trouble, to think that he would be curled by a fire with endless presents, his little bat Family just a little ways away nursing eggnog and gnawing on peppermint candy canes with music playing softly in the background. He could taste it between the waves of numbness, that horrible sour complacency with which he was no longer acquainted.
Apparently the the job of being Batman didn’t extend to holidays, but the madness of being the Joker would always be with him.
He snarled, “Boy wonder is somewhere making Christmas cocktails as little Robin trapezessss around with new weapons unsheathed, or maybe they’re sharing hot chocolate around as they play pin the tail on the reindeer.” He sneers into the darkness, turning on his side as if to hide from his own imagination in the void of this room. It’s so dark and quiet and his mind is running and running and running away from him with visions of sugar plums dancing around a sleeping Bat Family, happy and content now that he’s locked away all desperately alone.
“And I suppose Harley has thought little of me, either.” He murmured into his arm, the noise muffled by the material, “Smooching on her grrrreeen girlyfriend who probably tastes like peppermint just coz she can.”
He moved again onto his stomach, deciding that he wasn’t moping over being alone as much as being bored when he was supposed to be out, enjoying the holiday in his own s p e c i a l way. But he wasn’t, instead the closest thing to a gift that he’d gotten was a nice kiss to the face from Burlow’s fist. He’d remember that later, but at least that damn peppermint flavor was gone.
He shifted again because the lack of anything was allowing the thoughts to creep in like the vines—
Oh, blast it all!
His closed fist connected with the sharp metal corner of his little cot, and contemptuously he noted that besides his red lips and green hair he was only festive by the blood spilled on his white skin. He wanted to yell but all he made was a long grrRg̶R̶rRr̶r̶R̶r̶U̶uUugG̶h̶h.
Somewhere in his stifled musings he heard a voice drifting down the hallway. Had there been a sliver of illumination it would’ve danced in some obscene color with carols and garish stripes to celebrate some abstract holiday of its own. But there was only black, and no amount of medicine could warp that deep absence of light.
So his other senses flourished, and the singing grew louder, until the nostalgic sound of Stevie Wonder’s voice rolled into his cell and took over the darkness. He curled his legs to his chest, open palms clamped over his ears and eyes screwed close as the past cut closer, ghosting it’s fingertips over his neck to strangle him.
The sounds he made didn’t drown it out, so he stopped making them and tried to remember that it wasn’t there. If there was one thing that copious amount of medicine did do, it is to inflict an equal amount of resurrection of dead ghosts, to wake them and rile them until they tore at your mind more than his was already lost.
But since it was Christmas he couldn’t help but let out a dry wheeze of a laugh as he conceded he might be the Ebenezer of this era. Cash might be happy to know he’s right for once! Ha!
He’d strangle his ghosts before he let them haunt him.
Still, the music played on.
⠀
Someday at Christmas man will not fail
Hate will be gone love will prevail
Someday a new world that we can start
With hope in every heart
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime
Someday at Christmastime....
⠀
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