#so now hes bitter over that too.

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

#TVD #The Mikaelsons #Kol Mikaelson #Klaus Mikaelson #briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs #i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep #need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy #anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys #klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse #kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse #kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too #that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see #that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers #it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic #that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea #to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael #the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon #klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him #and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother #*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons #as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm

[maskyartist]

*claps my hands together* if i say theres potential for an au where Clay ends up lost in the tunnels after the cave in, left behind by the Putt Putts as well, so hes either living in the walls of Bergentown or just trapped in the tunnels eventually being found/getting out near the village and just being more animal then Troll...

do yall see my vision or do i gotta go further??? theres drama potential im just saying (more in tags)

#masky says #trolls dreamworks #no i wont stop putting clay into horrible situations its too EASY >:( #if he didnt wanna be bullied he shouldnt have been overshadowed in his own reveal scene and given a surprisingly traumatic backstory- #-that was glossed over WAY too quick (then again trolls is just like that) #idk i like the idea of branch finding his brother and he wants to be angry he wants to be angry SO BADLY #but clay's been in the forest for who knows how long and he looks so rough #it takes time to recognize branch because hes grey and bitter #i feel clay would pop up near his bunker around when branch is like halfway done with it. probably teens by then its livable basically #and now this feral ass Troll is poking his head in stealing food and trying to find safety from rain #like the mental image of them NOT knowing its each other is so funny to me #but theres also clay living IN bergentown just running around trying to stay hidden #his entire life is panic hes paranoid every two minutes hes whipping his head around to make sure hes not being followed #loud noises make him hide sudden touch makes him hide dont hug him at all he's reminded of bergen hands gripping the life outta him #hes been through the WRINGER imma make it worse for funsies :) #i love clay brozone *violently flings him at a wall* see hes so fun :D

[dollypopup]

I think it's real obvious that if you actually like Colin you don't belong in the Polin fandom. y'all are all so ableist about him and think the absolute worst of him and a huge number of the posts and fics are romanticizing Penelope straight up abusing him

we should make a new tag because this one is NOT it

#polin #bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #there's a fun new trend in fics where instead of 'just' emotionally and mentally abusing him Penelope is now hitting him too #and the narrative justifies it and colin thinks it's his fault she hits him and everyone cheers in the comments isn't that great? #oh did i say great? i meant fucking awful #you can tell this fandom is painfully tradwife levels straight because they think women who do this shit is cute or harmless #us queer women who have been abused by other women know damn well fanon penelope is the kind of girl you run away from with a swiftness #but colin's just a big stupid dummy for 1 (one) comment and not assuming her feelings for him so he needs to be slapped around i guess #i hate it here #burn the whole fandom to the ground and start from scratch #and we're SURPRISED there's an anti-polin blog? WE'RE anti-polin ffs #everyone and their mother knows 'Polin' actively hates half their ship #and are incredibly hostile to anyone who doesn't slobber all over penelope's shoes as she mistreats her supposed love interest and friends #and yeah i'm bitter about it #also i'll say it: the way we talk about Luke Newton is fucking unacceptable too #he's a neurodivergent man and some of the shit y'all say is DISGUSTING #this fandom is actively antagonistic to nd peeps

[teamfortresstwo]

….The shot of Vox looking so afraid of Alastor makes me wonder if he’ll- if not have a redemption arc, maybe he’ll lean more morally grey somehow? I mean, it seems unlikely given *gestures at the “THEYRE GONNA DIE >:)!!” Trailer gif but like . I don’t know !!! That scared look is just not something someone evil would have !!!

#that and the way he seemed so insecure and also the hints at his past admiration of Alastor feel like they’re going to build up to something #idk maybe I’m just too hopeful because he’s my baby girl but like !!!! #hhhhhhh from just that little song alone I can tell he’s going to have so much fucking depth #and god I can’t wait to see his dynamic with alastor more often . like I know Alastor doesn’t seem to care for vox almost at all in the song #and again I’m probably just being too hopeful but like . #it *feels* like they’ll have more history than just that . I mean sure maybe Vox is just bitter over having been rejected but this fear and #the fact that he asked Alastor to join his team but now hates him so much… it feels like more went down than just a simple rejection . #maybe Alastor was more cruel with his rejection than strictly necessary? maybe Vox is just that insecure ??? I don’t know but god am I #excited to find out

[sovonight]

;

#still thinking abt that scene in the underdark where xan is (force) propositioned by that drow lady #and while his first response is shock/apprehension ('*me*??') #radri loses regulation over the volume of her voice going 'what?! no!!' louder than anyone's ever really heard her before #when challenged though she can't come up with a drow-valid reason why hunrae *can't* just take xan #(yes i just now remembered her name lmao) #the thoughts 'bc consent??' 'he'd hate that' '*he's mine he promised*' keep getting translated into an ineffective verbal 'you just cant' #so xan saves himself and falls into a worse mood after it and radri falls into an equally poor mood at how she couldnt do anything/she can #never really do anything can she #oh but there's a kind of equivalent/reversal moment when radri's offered a 'night with one of with phaere's males' as a reward #and xan is just silently panicking/trying to reassure himself with 'she wouldn't' 'she'd hate that' 'she loves me... right?' #radri honestly has an easier time with the excuse this time bc she's not feeling as much panic/pressure as earlier #but the excuse that comes out is along the lines of 'uh monogamy is custom in my city and i already have a male--' #'NO no not one of these guys in my party!! (don't look too closely at them!)' #'i prefer not to travel with him! to make the reunions sweeter...??' #xan's mind catches on 'i prefer not to travel with him' and he gets in a bitter mood bc that might as well be true-- #bc really what use is he when he can't even do anything to help/save/protect her despite being right by her side #the underdark has them both on an internal monologue of 'i hate this' but while xan's is mainly towards their surroundings #radri's is almost entirely inward & so isnt eased the moment they reach the surface like xan's is

[hella1975]

sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often #bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off' #but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting #bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her #like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around #like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life #but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met #and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM #like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him #but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years #& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite #he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs #he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house #he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent #or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one' #and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company #i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon #and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it #bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people #who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight #i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now #why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough #hella goes home #my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag

[nonuggetshere]

I need to draw something with PK and Hornet there's not enough of these two together in my art

#thylacines can talk #in my au specifically she used to be SUCH a daddy's girl but then she grew up and grew bitter and resentful over her role in life. the #reason for her birth and the way her pwn sibling has been treated. She actually drifted away from both of her biological parents because #her being bitter about being concieved for a specific purpose and already having all of her life planned out for her is a big part why she #grew distant with her father and step mother so naturally it also applied to her mother. but she grew apart way more from PK and WL because #she had more grievances with them than just that one thing. Plus PK could sometimes be a little too smothering and overprotective. He truly #loves his daughter and maybe showers her with more love than usual because of what he did to his other kids but at times he doesnt know how #to reel it back. he got worse when Hornet pulled away because he was terrified of losing her which ironically made the drift bigger. #eventually they reconcile and grow closer again but they'll never be as close as they were when she was little. Or maybe they're just close #in a different way and that's alright. I don't see Hornet as an overly affectionate person so being smothered with love bugs her. She loves #her father and step mother of course she does. But she has a different way of showing it which took a little while for them to understand #and adjust to. They eventually grow close just not in that very affectionate little kid way #She actually grew closer to Vespa during her teen years as she was her teacher and mother figure and Hornet clung to her when she grew apart #from her two mothers and father. #oh a funfact. Hornet doesn't really call WL step mother. When she was little Herrah was mummy and WL was momma and now that she's older #they're both mum but she comes up with increasingly more ridiculous ways to differentiate them. She only really calls WL 'step mother' when #shes angry with her. or 'your mother' if she's talking yo her siblings. A very cheap shot that would make WL feel really shitty but makes #Hornet feel better for a while. #faaf au

[thestarofcottonland]

hi pea!! i love your blog soo much and am also such a fan of your reviews on fragrantica 💝 so i wanted to ask: what’re your favorite fragrance notes and favorite perfumes based on those notes? :3 wishing you a great day!!

wahhhh thank you.....my reviews arent even anything special i dont conjure images well yet but im flattered....

despite having so many perfumes i feel like im still learning what my favourite notes are, i very often get caught up in what sounds good but i fail to really grasp the compatibility of the scents...or even what might have been compatible can be blended poorly.

my favourite notes im familiar with would have to be: honey, which ive found best encapsulated in Bee Ellis Brooklyn, jasmine, best in Gorgeous Jasmine Gucci (despite very sad longevity..), sweetened rose which sadly all the best looking ones ive found are hard to find or just hard to get in canada but Rose Gourmand Zara i do rather like, and i think i must love orange blossom cause its there in all the sweetest perfumes ive ever smelled (Paradoxe, Love Don't Be Shy, Made in Heaven, and D&G Devotion that i just ordered after loving it instantly in the store)

i need to get more familiar with milk, coffee, hay, and i think i could really love seaweed! i think its what lends that moldy smell to Sea of Gray Solstice Scents, and i actually love it so much. cant help it i have mold nostalgia!! im relating to animalic girlies now like yeah sometimes stuff stinks really good and its cozy.

#currently in the happiest relationship of my life with a punjabi boy and now i look especially at gourmands with cardamom and rose... #im just excited to get his impression of it always im thrilled when it reminds him of something #rose sweets ive been obsessing over ever since the first time i came over and he made us rose milk and it was sooo - #- delicately sweet and fragrant...if i could find a lactonic rose perfume i would be so happy #and i discovered tom ford noir extreme has a kulfi note and ill probably need to go to an out of town sephora to smell it even thoughhh #TF perfumes are TOO expensive even on discounted sites. luckily i dont care that much for them so far. this one may change and devastate me #lost cherry and bitter peach are like good but i can live without them. i called it bright peach what a poser #ALSO YOURE SWEET engage me on this anytime

[octoooo]

Sabibun & Catyuu first meeting. Verrry long oops

Their first meeting wasn’t all that great. Not like it was violent or dangerous for either animal, but Sabibun was not happy about Giyuu’s permanent residence in his house.

Before Giyuu moved in, Sabito was used to constant attention. It was just him and Sakonji in the house, and Makomo loved to come by every now and then. (He likes playing with her, & she lets him on the couch when sakonji doesn’t)

They were first introduced when Makomo visited with a 2 yr old Giyuu. Sabito was in his hutch & Giyuu was placed in front of it. (Sabito found himself in that position almost every time Makomo visited from then on, because she usually brought giyuu with her)

Fast forward to Makomo’s move across the city. Sabito knew his life would change when Makomo visited with Giyuu and left without him.

Sabito spends most days, if not in his room, in his hutch. His free roaming had been (temporarily) limited which he wasn’t happy about. :(

Watching as Giyuu sniffs around the house, which is supposedly their house now if what sakonji said is anything to go by. Sabito tried not to act petty or uptight and spoiled, but having to suddenly share his living space was less than ideal. He didn’t think Giyuu was too bad, he’s quiet and he knows to keep to himself despite his curiosity. But this bun is a lil bitter about these changes.

Sakonji, for about an hour at least once a day, would place Giyuu in front of Sabito’s hutch, so the two could get used to being in the same space.

It took some time (at least one week) before he felt confident enough to let Sabito roam free alongside Giyuu in the same room. He was always nearby and ready to step in should anything go wrong.

Sabito was smart enough to not outright try anything with Giyuu. He knew he’d be sent back to his hutch (and giyuu didn’t deserve any type of attack. I think somewhere in his mind he knows it’s not Giyuu’s fault that things are like this now. But he can’t admit that yet)

So what would Sabibun do? Lmao he would just thump. From a distance they would just stare, when Giyuu starts inching closer Sabito would thump until sakonji took Giyuu away.

(I know rabbits can thump when scared (or as warning) but Sabito wasn’t really scared. He was just kinda annoyed living with giyuu at first and knew Sakonji would take him away if he did thump)

(Sakonji during this time is pretty stressed. He promised Makomo he would care for Giyuu, but if the two animals can’t get along then one of them would have to be removed from the house)

Their first successful chat happens when Sabibun burrows in the backyard (just,,tossing dirt around for fun). From inside the house, Giyuu hops into the window sill facing the backyard & strikes up conversation.

He tried to figure out why Sabito is so frazzled about him being there & the bun gets out his little angry burst. I had dialogue for this in my head but Uhh brain kinda forgot. Just know it was about 1. Missing Makomo & being stuck with giyuu instead of her and 2. His routine being tossed around like a salad. Giyuu thinks about it and tries to reason that it’s not his fault but Sabito has stopped talking to him and focused on his burrowing.

Sabito no longer thumps when giyuu is nearby. He’s not entirely on board yet but he's giving Giyuu a chance. (sakonji silently celebrated that lmao)

Anyway this doesn’t end with romance yet, just passive tolerance (from sabibun) for now.

All of that was roughly the first month and a half of living together.

By the end of the first month or so, Sakonji was 🤏 close to looking for someone else to care for giyuu since the arrangement didn’t seem to be working, and the last thing he wanted was to come home to a brawl between the two. (Or worse)

Thankfully he hadn’t even begun searching yet. He had no idea how he’d break that news to Makomo, so he was going to give them until the end of the second month before putting his foot down and doing something about it.

Lmao imagine his surprise (and huge sigh of relief) when he finds the two getting along one evening

Uhhhfhdjdj also I’m no expert on how to introduce bunnies & cats so do your own research b4 attempting anything like this (this applies to the entire au tbh) the process of their first meeting was stuff I had seen online on how to introduce the two animals

Anyway have angry Sabibun in his hutch:

#kny #demon slayer #tomioka giyuu #sabito #SABIBUN AU #I’ve been infected with these thoughts for about a month #and now you have them too 🫵🏾 #just an explosion of brain thought I slapped around into words #sakonji was fjdbdon so nervous about those two #but then he saw them sitting calmly & vibing #sparks of romance won’t happen for some time #for at least a year from this point #probably a year & a half-two years #Sabito gets over his squishy bitter feelings & is open to being friendly with giyuu #shenanigans will eventually ensue #Octo Queue 🐙 #kny au

[fragmentedblade]

Insane that Blade during Todd's quest did basically the same thing Dan Heng was doing during this last video

#Fragments and scraps #I talk too much #I had just finished Todd's quest and I had so many questions and hypotheses and then the video dropped #And goodness it gave me even more things to ponder but I also think it kind of cleared things up when it came to what was Blade mourning #I also wondered whether this came after Kafka's companion mission but now I'm pretty sure it comes before it? I think it makes sense #Seeing confirmation of Yingxing being old looking was so hard to watch whilst compared to how young Jing Yuan sounds in Chinese #And when seeing him alongside Jingliu and Baiheng‚ who were both mature women when he was a little kid #No wonder he is so prideful of his craft. He deserves it. I really adore how they implemented a lot of details in the worldbuilding #and sidequests that throw light towards the characterisation and story of some of the main characters #Specifically I can't stop thinking about Yingxing in the context of how we see shortlife humans are regarded by some people on the Xianzhou #and especially in the context of the sidequest about the master and the apprentice. Everything it implies #Anyway... This video broke me. The confrontation between Dan Heng and Dan Feng was hard enough #(guy leave the boy alone‚ *he* has nothing to repent of) as well as beautiful. Some shots were gorgeous and full of symbolism #But seeing the five friends... goodness. Yingxing's bitter smile carries a weight that I think goes beyond him losing to Jingliu #given his age and how young his friends look. The way Jing Yuan reacts as if having the braincell but also teasing them was so him #The way his voice broke later on while reading Imbibitor Lunae's punishment took me out #Baiheng reminded me a bit of March 7th in this video. It may be due to how March reacts to Dan Heng's melancholic air towards the end #And how Baiheng reacts to Imbibitor Lunae's and Yingxing's at the beginning. I don't know if the parallelism was purposeful but I loved it #They all felt actually a lot closer than I expected. Mainly Jingliu. I expected her to be close only to Baiheng given what Jing Yuan says #The images that flash over the sentence were so good and so heartbreaking #Yingxing looking at the figure over the moon‚ his chest being pierced by the sword Blade now wields‚ #Jingliu blindfolded slicing something‚ someone suspended in chains‚... #And the heavy absence in those images of Jing Yuan‚ whose breaking voice hovers over them all #Truly brought back to mind Blade's line about him. How he knew better than anyone but he did or said nothing #And how he is not one of those who must pay #Everything was so charged I wanted to scream or jump off a cliff. The way the faces of Dan Heng and Dan Feng superimpose ugh #Truly everything was so good #I have so many thoughts about it I can't stop thinking hahaha #But I better shut up already. I should sleep a bit #I want to scream though. The Dan Heng/Blade parallelism makes me want to drown a sea‚ ontological barriers be damned haha

[hauntingblue]

I love this movie about.... zoro's past boyfriend being taken over by a curse

#zoro having a friend from his childhood seems ooc. thay guy had kuina and thats it. he is weird and has been #this movie and the last one started the same. nami has an ides for money and robin corroborates it with some facts and there they go #'he has already cut ties with you loser pirates' lmao harsh #alos zoro vs sanji.... got cooked.... #usopp jumping after luffy akdhakdjka 💀💀💀 #'cooking keeps my mind off the pain' 🚬🚬 he is so upset about his bf #zoro is smelling something fishy bc he always does but is going thru with it.... but now they have touched luffy so i sense this is it #luffy being dumb as rocks i miss you. well he isnt dumb but idk enjoys being silly too much at the expense of his and other's safety #i am sure they have went to every important place that will be relevant in the future #also this reminds me of the sims 4 game pack jungle adventure. many such cases #zoro making another promise... he has too many.... well if he turned evil its kinda sad.... #sanji saying 'promise 🚬' exactly..... more bitterness.... #luffy stumbling into the gems qjdjaksjk #oh no maya is going to sacrifice herself for the good of the island.... meanwhile luffy with the gems jumping out of a geyser: 😁 #luffy is so sweet and earnest in these movies... he says what he means and everything..... #this boy reminds zoro of saga as a kid.... omg... i was right zoro didnt have a friend as a child... he had a bf...... this is so sad #luffy carrying people like a sack of potatoes.... compelling... #also zoro lost to saga.... his streak is OVER!!! this sacred sword power is really cool looking... cutting people with a swirl of the hand #omg emotional swordfight under the full red moon..... zoro with the stars behind him.... he got the same scar as zoro omg.... AND DIED???? #thats why he called him there.... bc he is steong enough to win.... cant believe they killed maya and zoro's bf... nvm he is alive.... ofc #he isnt even hungry... his tummy aches just by seeing his ex bf with a girl.... after they swordfought under the moonlight.... #sanji is also pissy ajshaja #talking tag #watching one piece #watching one piece movies

[protagonist-art]

Scratched Veneer question:

Can you imagine Veneer apologizing to Floyd for him getting declawed? If I were in Veneer's position I most certainly would, and I wouldn't blame Floyd for scratching me up or being bitter over losing his claws.

yes!!! 100% >:o) he still feels sickly terrible about it to this day... besides the draining his life, it's the incident he feels the worst about </3

I'll go on more abt it in the tags!!!

#it wasn't pretty at all #i can imagine out of everything it was the start of him really changing his mind #so at the time of Floyd getting declawed Veneer was in SO much pain himself... obviously not more but #being a privileged kid now needing major stitches and waiting for an ambulance he was so stressed and focused on himself #might not have even realised what happened until it was too late #for floyd- nobody came to save him from it. I can imagine it made it so much worse that not even Veneer was trying to stop it from happenin #I THINK LIKE. OVERALL Floyd has every right to never forgive Veneer or treat him with kindness after everything #in the same canon as the declawing; Floyd struggles immensely with the thought of Veneer even being on parole #Veneer actively tries to get closer and show remorse... but in the end he has to completely cut off from Floyd and his family #aside from Bruce who visits him and Vel in prison #Floyd feels TERRIBLE that he's so panicked over Veneer being around trolls and vice versa... he really SHOULDN'T feel bad about it #and that's something he's working on!! that he doesn't have to hold back feelings about something that fucked him up so badly #he's allowed to b bitter and he's allowing himself to feel that <3 #not art #anon

[meatriarch]

im still on my fuckshit but when i think of cc maria ( by extension also nosy maria but specifically noting the isolation aspect of cc );

can you imagine one day skimming the paper. its been a few weeks since all the commotion knowing your friends' had attempted to come find you but then were chased off. never actually heard or saw any of them, but you know they were around.

but you've been moved from the cells to a mattress upstairs. you're given more freedom, more wiggle room, you're allowed to do things - little hobby-type activities - you're given better foods, you're looked after by the older woman at the other house. the man who took you, who terrifies you still to some degree, slowly doesn't feel like such a stranger anymore, you're right to still be cautious around him but as the days, the weeks, pass by, there's simply a different air about him, and in the shack. lighter, in a sense.

you find yourself growing used to the new daily - the new routine. of waking to the sound of him getting ready for the day, of being left alone in there for hours sometimes, others trailing after him like a duckling, around the older womans' property, helping with an array of tasks. and you worry about upsetting her at first, unsure if doing so will earn a knife to the throat. you listen, you do as you're told, you find some kind of way to co-exist - all the while still, in the back of your mind, there's still a ray of hope,

that maybe, maybe, since the rest of them got away - that they're merely licking their wounds, that they'll get word out and even with all the silence since they had been on the property, there's that shred of hope that maybe? someone will waltz in, guns blazing so to speak, and you'll get out of this hell finally.

that is, until that day - that you're skimming through the paper, and you recognize yourself in a little column - and you realize you're staring at your own fucking obituary.

and in that moment everything seems solidified.

you're never getting away.

there's no point in it.

there's no one out there who are still trying to find you, get you back, bring you home, back to your mothers' arms, back to being an older sister, back to the circle of friends you loved so dearly.

you're dead.

not just to the world, but to those you loved - those who claimed to have loved you, too.

what else do you have at that point? where else do you go, even if you still tried to leave? who wouldn't look at you sideways for the blood that's already stained your hands? for the flesh caught between teeth?

who else is there, except the one murmuring encouragement and praise in your ear?

the only constant you've had in all these weeks? whose words rang true - clearly - that no one cared? that they abandoned you? left you there, didn't even care to make sure you were alive or not? only thought of themselves and got the fuck outta there without confirming if you were even still alive.

#[ ♡ ] ── * maria f. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦. #[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * queue. #[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * cold case. #[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * no one saved you. #for cc maria its just. theres literally no one else. the only constant has been johnny. hes the one who was there with her when the #broadcasts sounded off her searches being called off. the only one who ensured she ate - was clothed - was looked after when she fell ill. #who she could talk to. who in spite of all her escape attempts & all her attempts at trying to kill him kept her around - taught her how to #do things properly - protected her from others that'd be brought down below shack. honestly. her isolation in cc - only having any sort of #connection being with johnny for *months* before he trusted her enough to let her join him for longer periods - like its. complicated. #SO fucking complicated. youre seen as dead to literally everyone else in existence - *except for him*. he who sees you. who hears you. #who talks to you. looks after you. its hard not to find yourself becoming attached/devoted. to the only person who knows you still exist #like i mentioned for nosy its. theres lee there too now so its. a little different. it doesnt hit right away - the almost blind devotion. #but it still happens - over time - with the both of them. the last two people who for a time at least know you were even still living. #and its by the time ch2 rolls in for either cc/nosy its just. its so confusing to her. why they all bother returning then? #for cc its just. you all buried me in an empty box twenty years ago...you all moved on then. you accepted that. so why are you here now. #why are you re-opening wounds that shouldve been long buried - with that empty casket. why suddenly care now? #in nosy she suppresses it w. her bitterness but cc i feel it comes out more like... grief & hurt. all over again. because if you came back #20 yrs after the fact? then why DIDNT you return back then? why *now* and not then? at any point in the last two decades?

[louismygf]

Louis Birthday Tag Game 🎉

thank you @faithinlouisfuture for tagging me 😽😽😽🫶🏼 mwuah!

when did you become a louie?

i don't exactly know when bc i remember for the longest time denying to stan louis (or anyone for that matter) 😭 but late feb (completely missed the defenceless project bc i didn't have twitter then lol) to april of 2021 i think... february being like, oh this guy from one direction is neat i really like his music and april being, wow i have fallen in hell in love with louis tomlinson he is the only man ever

your earliest fandom memory?

WELL, on tumblr, i remember long hair louis with a guitar walking through an airport trended. immediately after he posted the rockstar pic (april 10) of him on instagram 🙏🏽 AND THEN, as a twitter user... this is so cursed but #iheartawards #louies #bestfanarmy 2021 😭 i think i once told myself i'd only keep up with louis on tumblr but not on twitter,, but because i already made a twitter account in april (solely for voting), it just stuck and thus, after iheart voting ended, my stan twitter account was born lol

your favourite song (one off walls, one off fitf)?

i tend to pick two favorites so for walls it's fearless and only the brave and for fitf, all this time and lucky again

your favourite music video?

walls <3 and miss you when im feeling silly hehe

favourite gig?

ltwt manila 2022 😔😔😔😔😔😔🫶🏼 it meant the world to me 😭 louis was so happy and the crowd energy was so good. i don't know if anyone went live for my show but believe me when i say it was loudddd sksks louis was chatty and smiley and interactive and of course so so pretty. vocals were on point i could actually cry recalling the memories of him singing but Ugh it was 😔🫶🏼 those couple of hours were one of the best times of my life for real not even joking

favourite louis hair?

i love when louis' hair is on the longer side, live from london, walls hair or fitf but a bit longer, actual long hair louis Unstyled (now imagine how he'd look if it were styled), afhf hair of course like his hair in the documentary with him sitting and talking wearing his favorite black sabbath shirt And his hair wearing the iconic first ever 28op shirt. basically! long hair OR fluffy and messy <3

favourite louis interview?

the zach sang interviews and his interviews with olivia jones for total access

suit louis or tank top louis?

tank top 😋 but only by a tiny bit difference, he looks good in both!

favourite louis tattoo?

28! and the rogue + spiderweb is sick like the placement is v cool i think... tiny smiley on his thigh and duh the x smiley face too on his arm

favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)

big heart big brain big ass, the holy trinity. and actually also his hands,, and waist.... and. thighs yum...... and. ok im stopping here

thanks again for tagging me <3

#tagged #tag games #tag game #i forgor #sorry a bit late ! #i think i almost didnt stan louis bc of him nft posting in march being unmasked in mexico and just generally being put off with celebrities #my first real content of him was full time meals and ot was a charity thing so i was like ok hes cute im sticking around for a bit longer #but by late july i thought i was over it bc.... he'd only been tweeting ab football at that time lmfao 😭😭😭😭 #i thought that was my chance to become a normal fan and delete my stan twt or this tumblr or something #but afhf rolled around............ actually life changing #at that time it was the most fun ive ever had in the louie fandom... it's like. oh yeah. this is Really why i love him. it's the music!!!!! #excited for all the projects he has lined up <3 #yk im still so sad and bitter about asia tour. i think i set my expectations too high so ive since recalibrated them. im ok now 👍🏼 #he should do better though 😁 hehe ok that's it idk why i said all that

[meatriarchived]

i did not sleep yay for me im still on my fuckshit but when i think of cc maria ( by extension also nosy maria but specifically noting the isolation aspect of cc );

can you imagine one day skimming the paper. its been a few weeks since all the commotion knowing your friends' had attempted to come find you but then were chased off. never actually heard or saw any of them, but you know they were around.

but you've been moved from the cells to a mattress upstairs. you're given more freedom, more wiggle room, you're allowed to do things - little hobby-type activities - you're given better foods, you're looked after by the older woman at the other house. the man who took you, who terrifies you still to some degree, slowly doesn't feel like such a stranger anymore, you're right to still be cautious around him but as the days, the weeks, pass by, there's simply a different air about him, and in the shack. lighter, in a sense.

you find yourself growing used to the new daily - the new routine. of waking to the sound of him getting ready for the day, of being left alone in there for hours sometimes, others trailing after him like a duckling, around the older womans' property, helping with an array of tasks. and you worry about upsetting her at first, unsure if doing so will earn a knife to the throat. you listen, you do as you're told, you find some kind of way to co-exist - all the while still, in the back of your mind, there's still a ray of hope,

that maybe, maybe, since the rest of them got away - that they're merely licking their wounds, that they'll get word out and even with all the silence since they had been on the property, there's that shred of hope that maybe? someone will waltz in, guns blazing so to speak, and you'll get out of this hell finally.

that is, until that day - that you're skimming through the paper, and you recognize yourself in a little column - and you realize you're staring at your own fucking obituary.

and in that moment everything seems solidified.

you're never getting away.

there's no point in it.

there's no one out there who are still trying to find you, get you back, bring you home, back to your mothers' arms, back to being an older sister, back to the circle of friends you loved so dearly.

you're dead.

not just to the world, but to those you loved - those who claimed to have loved you, too.

what else do you have at that point? where else do you go, even if you still tried to leave? who wouldn't look at you sideways for the blood that's already stained your hands? for the flesh caught between teeth?

who else is there, except the one murmuring encouragement and praise in your ear?

the only constant you've had in all these weeks? whose words rang true - clearly - that no one cared? that they abandoned you? left you there, didn't even care to make sure you were alive or not? only thought of themselves and got the fuck outta there without confirming if you were even still alive.

#for cc maria its just. theres literally no one else. the only constant has been johnny. hes the one who was there with her when the #broadcasts sounded off her searches being called off. the only one who ensured she ate - was clothed - was looked after when she fell ill. #who she could talk to. who in spite of all her escape attempts & all her attempts at trying to kill him kept her around - taught her how to #do things properly - protected her from others that'd be brought down below shack. honestly. her isolation in cc - only having any sort of #connection being with johnny for *months* before he trusted her enough to let her join him for longer periods - like its. complicated. #*so* fucking complicated. youre seen as dead to literally everyone else in existence - *except for him*. he who sees you. who hears you. #you speaks with you. looks after you. its hard not to find yourself becoming attached/devoted. to the only person who knows you still exist #like i mentioned for nosy its. theres lee there too now so its. a little different. it doesnt hit right away - the almost blind devotion. #but it still happens - over time - with the both of them. the last two people who for a time at least know you were even still living. #and its by the time ch2 rolls in for either cc/nosy its just. its so confusing to her. why they all bother returning then? #for cc its just. you all buried me in an empty box twenty years ago...you all moved on then. you accepted that. so why are you here now. #why are you re-opening wounds that shouldve been long buried - with that empty casket. why suddenly care now? #in nosy she suppresses it with her bitterness but cc i feel it comes out more like... grief & hurt. all over again. because if you came bac #20 yrs after the fact? then why DIDNT you return back then? why *now* and not then? #[ mf ] ── * 𝐇𝐂 / 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄. { maria. } #[ mf ] ── * 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄. { cold case. } #[ mf ] ── * 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄. { no one saved you. } #[ mf ] ── * 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄. { we saved us. }

[mayclair]

the whole max and mike’s lives being foils of each other’s is so insane to me bc its like. for mike max is a representation of everything that could have happened to him if his mom left his dad earlier on (and what can still happen when you look at the way things are between them) and for max mike is a representation of everything that she could have had growing up if her mom hadn’t decided to leave her dad as fast as she did

#there is no way they don’t resent each other for it just a little bit. no fucking way sorry #mike knows max grew up with a shittier home life but still wishes his mom had the guts to do the same her mom did and left his dad bc #at the end of the day there is a little bit of bitterness towards both his parents for not making their relationship work out specifically #towards his dad bc his mom is actually involved in his life and did try to pretend that everything was normal when it wasnt which directly #ties into his desperate attempts to make his relationship with el seem normal to both of them when its not bc theyve both never been normal #they dont even know what normal really IS which also ties in to his very deep fear that the two of them will end up like his parents and so #meday he’ll become his dad and he doesn’t know which one is more terrifying so instead he blocks it all out in True Mike Wheeler FashionTM #and just keeps wishing that his mom left his dad because maybe if there was a distance between them when he was growing up maybe things wou #ldve been different maybe he wouldnt be this much like his dad #max on the other hand LOVES her dad they had one of those relationships where he wasn’t neglectful but wasn’t a great parent either but she #still loves him for trying and while her mom did try she gave up after a while while her dad didn’t. that was the real dealbreaker for max #and while after all this time she keeps saying im going to run away to cali and im going to live with my dad. but its not just the need to #see someone who cared for her the most during her early years its also the childish hope that her mom will notice that shes missing anf #come looking for her and that maybe when her parents finally meet again they can reconcile and get back together bc that is really all shes #ever wanted in her life since she was a kid and she feels bad for it bc she knows that her mom and dad’s relationship was never supposed to #last but she still wishes and wishes which is why that little bit of bitterness against mike will never fall away no matter how irrational #it is bc its like. his parents dont love each other but are still together for their kids. why couldnt my parents do the same? was i not en #ough reason for them? and this ties into her breaking up with lucas over and over again bc shes seen her parents and how they never fought #for each other and shes afraid that somewhere along the line her relationship with lucas will turn out the exact same and hell leave her so #its better to just leave now before it gets serious then later when it will hurt too much but lucas keeps coming back for her which makes #her realize that maybe it doesnt have to be like that maybe they wont be like her parents #anyway this is incoherent as fuck but shane mandej voice IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS #mike wheeler #max mayfield #stranger things