#so on todays episode of what object are women being compared to

[habunshu]

just read an interview sara hess did recently and she’s talks about aegon and him raping dyana and the way this entire thing reads is just so…..not to mention in the same interview she throws daemon under the bus and says he’s a bad father when the episode she wrote she chose to cut out the scenes with him comforting his daughters and chose to add in how he ignores rhaena

[saying this all having seen ep10 leaks, and saying this all with words from HBO that they plan to release a “pristine cut” from earlier today- whatever that means, so by the time this “cut” is released some mass-disliked moments may have been retconed or scenes added]

[mention of SA, R*pe in regards to Aegon’s writing]

[mention of traumatic childbirth and death from childbirth]

I have so many many thoughts about not only Sara Hess but the whole writing team. This is LONG, and thank u very much for sparking my thoughts with this ask!

HOTD has, fallen out a lot with me post episode 5/6, I remember thinking what a fantastic start it was off to when I watched episode 1, and the moment it’s established that the writers and directors are NOT collaborating between episodes, and each hold very different understandings of each character they portray- it’s become a quick recipe for disaster. Im not going to nitpick every part of the season, I’m well aware this show plans to overarch multiple seasons, but I am still going to discuss it from a standalone story due to how long each season takes to produce.

1. Complications from writing teams, and contrasting GRRM’s base material:

HOTD and F&B being separate narrative points and existing as different validity tales is something that is perfectly fine, I am used to discussing validity of secondary reports of historical content through my degree, and HOTD is a very good medium (as it is VISUAL instead of written) of attempting to show this tale from inside the House itself- what dissonance occurs is due to fondness over the staple violence and power hungry violence of these Westeros Nobles that creates interesting fantasy grandeur. A lot of people enjoy spectating these awful powerful people commit horrible acts in their own interests and family allegiances; Cersei, Daemon, Otto, and others are fascinating anti-heroes and antagonists due to their setting to allow for large-scale atrocities to physically vent their ambitions and goals.

The Dance of The Dragons (in the Books) is this horrific and tragic death for petty self importance, untreated family trauma and paranoid self-hardening that continues and grows with each generation of the Courts is bound to snap on-top of someone’s shoulders at some point, just around 80 years of RELATIVE “peace” under King Jaehaerys I and Viserys I (55+26 if i’m not mistaken). And such a King born of peace wanting to prolong it (Viserys I) is almost a perfect breeding ground for power hungry leeches to start grappling for the Throne (Otto).

So when the bricks start to crumble and we have expectations of drama and bloodshed, true to GRRM’s writings, it’s not a change in certain plot points that is objectively bad (some are better- Sara Hess respects Laena as a woman of 2 Valyrian Houses dying of her own wish instead of before she can on the staircase), it’s misconceptions of what purpose each character serves between writers that makes each episode clunky, snowballing into the season looking like a puzzle I slapped together from mis-matched pieces I found my desk draw.

Almost all characters if not between back to back episodes, from the beginning to the end of the season have moments that straight up do not make sense compared to who they are established as.

This reaches a more frustrating point when we see the overarching trend of almost all Female main characters be softened and be removed of their personal wants. (In the Books) Rhaenyra and Alicent are two amazing narrative foils; Entitlement vs Want, Power (Dragons) vs Intelligence. These are two women who have lost their childhood sense of female unity and joint suffering, with their in-book ages, Rhaenyra looses an older female figure and Alicent looses a companion and a major representation of her own lost girlhood.

When Alicent becomes just a high-strung pawn for her father, her son placed on the throne without her involvement or knowledge, still holding onto her girlhood she becomes a beautiful tragic figure and Olivia does he’s SO MUCH justice- but at the cost of her being this beautiful antagonist and individual.

When Rhaenyra becomes with unsure and overwhelmed girl-heir, becomes someone who only began to learn the knowledge a monarch requires at her late teens instead of being named heir before she was 10, she’s no longer a strong Targaryen that wants what she has been told her whole life is hers- but a bumbling princess who is asking for permission to wear her fathers crown.

Rhaenys, Baela and Rhaena are moved aside and the young daughters of Laena are given barely any content besides smiling politely. Helena I will say seems relatively untouched, we see a girl in her own solitude with a mother who gave birth way too young and doesn’t know how to be one. A true tragic figure after being sentenced to being a royal womb and looses her child over evening the scales-

[EP10 LEAK- RETCON OR CORRECTION ON OFFICIAL RELEASE UNKNOWN] If Aemond does end up a Kinslayer by technically, Vhagar attacking in retaliation with him being unable to control her after Lucerys in turn doesn’t control Arrax spitting fire first when fleeing to return to his mother. It does work in favour of Aemond being subjected to harsh consequences for either defending himself or completely against his wishes. But again we loose what is one of the most vicious combatants of the civil war, as well as the intent of Helena loosing her own child not matching up. “A Son for a Son”, but to even it out Helena’s child needs to die by accident in return. This also contrasts Aemond’s character of a bloodthirsty prince, he WANTS Lucerys dead, his own half-nephew took his eye, why does he care that the Baratheon wants blood outside of his home instead of infront of him. He’s the Kings Brother, Rider of Vhagar.

This change of intent to misunderstandings does create its own dynamic, but the lack of a cohesive plot and character purpose creates this mess that takes the Dance from:

“This family have become horrifyingly self-entitled and power-drunk due to their dragons, and will do whatever to fulfil their own wants, even killing the Dragons they owe their power to. There is a division between Kin and Family and Kin will be sacrificed if one can gain from it.”

To: “The Sheer Number of Aegons and lack of critical thinking has made so many deaths meaningless.”

The writers seem so scared of writing women with intent and purpose and power, Rhaenyra was a dragon rider at 7, 6 years before the youngest rider before her, we haven’t seen her on Syrax since Daemon steals an egg, we have powerful female Targaryens in-universe, Visenya is right there. Women in the show are mothers or soon to be married and mothers, Rhaenyra has no combat experience as a NAMED HEIR.

2. Sara Hess

She is uh, sure is something of a writer, knowing she’s responsible at least in part of EP6 and EP9 does make sense. She’s got a lot of not great comments and understandings of characters, that does do them a disservice.

The biggest offender (pun intended) is Aegon II, very surprising for a woman to romanticise such a horrific abuse of power and male identity that leads to (as Alicent implies this is not the first time he commits these acts on screen) the SA and worse of a handmaiden, and attempt to paint it as a misguided action of love. Aegon II as a character is a great way to show “A female heir could be perfect, Rhaenyra could be perfect; but will still be tossed aside in favour of a male heir that is abominable, horrible and a stain to his family’s legacy”

Is he given an unfair hand at the blatant favouritism of Viserys? yes. Is he forced into a position that he has no desire to be in until he is either:

1. In the books told that a formidable blood-spilling Rhaenyra will kill her opposition (his family and children) for the crown.

2. In the show dragged to his coronation, crying as he walks the Dragon pit, taking a position he KNOWS his father never once delegated to him.

Tom Glynn-Carney does a PHENOMENAL job with the material he is provided and tasked to act out. We can gain sympathy for him in both narrative chains without the romanticism of SA and r*pe, Tom SHOWS us a young man who turns to alcoholic tendencies due to the obvious fact his father only considers himself to be a father of one, and the fact that his mother has near infinite complex relationship with motherhood as a manipulated childbride and replacement wife that doesn’t even compare to the First Queen to her husband.

Aegon is heavily spoilt and misguided and starved of normal parents, and even as a horribly sexist man of power we can find nuance in him. Sara Hess does him a disservice by saying he “loved” Dyana, if you want to write him as a sympathy figure regarding his own love outwards, it is already there in his DISINTEREST in Helaena, the choice to not want to love is a better rebellion against all his representation of love that he’s grown up with.

“Do you (Mother) Love me?” is a tragic line, it drives sympathy in itself as her firstborn son knowing she is merely 16 years older than him, not even 40 at the time of his coronation. Why make this about him r*ping a woman instead of the complex relationship the family knows Alicent has about motherhood and the loss of her own life at age 16 when Otto decides to move her representative chess piece forward?

Sara Hess’ comments that went viral, although make sense in her distaste with various Scenes of Daemon (which are STILL abstractions from GRRM and his creation of Daemon) from EP10. I am surprised at her ability to unite those who are Team Black or Team Green, but even then her involvement has more downsides to this opportunity of story telling that positives.

A particular comment of hers that I didn’t appreciate in the slightest was her input on (Book) Rhaenyra growing fat after having 5 children and getting older.

Extremely weird to vilify a woman of luxurious life and 5 pregnancies in Medieval times gaining weight. Whilst yes there is valid criticism of male storytelling, why lump the weight of a woman in the same category as sexism of women in power. Rhaenyra’s body has nothing to do with her as a leader or historical figure.

3. Daemon at the hands of the writers (Sara’s portrayal in particular)

GRRM has stated that Daemon Targaryen is his favourite, and I completely understand it.

Who is he? A second-born pure-blood prince, a renowned knight, rider of the Bloodwyrm, a prime Targaryen, confident, ambitious, cunning and loyal to a fault on those he considers family.

Daemon is introduced as an agent of Chaos and polarising public opinion, but still commands respect and at least was worthy enough to be handed the titles of Master and stand on the Court (but not to be earned, he is born into an almost invincible position). We see him painted as ready to take the throne as eldest male Targaryen barring the King himself, and is set at this surface level “Rogue” who dotes on the younger Targaryen at court (intentions unknown).

Ep1-4 we see he aligns more at strength for the Targaryen Dynasty, not just himself. He is a narrative foil to Viserys in attitude and tolerance, yin and yang in a way. He states that he wants to keep the crown on his brothers head steady, he sees past Otto and relays the distaste of the Hightowers that is present in Dark Sister’s original wielder.

I think a lot of people misinterpret him as selfishly power hungry, that every action has to explicitly lead to him as King on the Throne, but why not kill Rhaenyra at any point, he’s a suspect regardless due to his reputation, but he is cunning, there’s no way he couldn’t have pulled it off when she was young with how many of Aemma’s surviving babies died young- Rhaenyra herself could easily have health complications.

He is raised on the idea of their Family being omnipotent, 3 siblings conquered Westeros, who says he cannot ally himself with a select few? He gains significant back room power the way Coryls wants as a Prince consort or Hand to Viserys/Rhaenyra.

He is cruel and violent and awful and egotistical, but he holds the better part of himself for those he deems worthy. This is what makes him a compelling character, unwavering support to those he chooses. With debatable intent with Laena across book and TV stories, he is not neglectful of those he cares of. The active choice to cut scenes of him being a father, any sense of comfort, to imply he favours the daughter that has a dragon already, is nothing short of character assassination and extremely biased.

Daemon is far from a faithful, christian husband, don’t get me wrong, he ends up cheating on Rhaenyra and has fucked so many women in his life I don’t know how he hasn’t got like 34 STDs. But there seems to be an in-universe grey area on Targaryen polyamory and lovers, (Rhaenyra and Laena in book at a little, 👀) his political loyalty and service to Rhaenyra’s crown is never once faltered, he dies for her to get rid of Aemond and Vhagar (the only reason the Greens didn’t instantly die). His is this beautifully volatile and unpredictable character, but compassionate to a fault, and willing to do anything to restore Targaryen Power.

Sara Hess’ writing is far from unbiased, and deviates heavily from who GRRM wrote with such fondness, not completely unfounded, he does groom his niece and kiss her the infront of his the kids he had with his dead wife the day of her funeral. But why paint him as this deadbeat dad when he of him and his brother does not subject his wife to unnecessary pain when she will die regardless, he who does not differentiate between children of different mothers. Viserys is a chronic first-wife bias, he doesn’t care that his second son is partially blinded and instead does not revoke when Rhaenyra asks for what is essentially torture to gain insight on why Aemond called her Bastard Sons, Bastards. Why doesn’t Sara call him out on saying he only has one child, why doesn’t she say she doesn’t understand why people like Viserys at Paddy’s portrayal?

She’s incorrect in us liking him as (not my words) “daddy” because he killed Rhea Royce and groomed his niece, people with brains are aware of his faults. We like BOTH of these brothers who were overzealous in the use of brothels are young bachelor princes. We like them because of the effort Matt and Paddy put in DESPITE the writing they are shown with.

The most concrete moment of bad directing of daemon shows in his interactions with Viserys.

Matt understands Daemon at peak when he IMPROVISES Daemon stepping up as the brother protecting his weak king from Otto and himself when he picks up the crown, and supports Viserys on his way to the Throne, he could have easily left him to stumble and make a fool of himself. He wouldn’t though.

[EP10 SPOILERS] Seeing Daemon get violent with Rhaenyra, after he grabs 3 dragon eggs for her, after he marries her in secret, after he kills Vaemond for her. Is so out of character, not in his general sense, but out of character in WHO he directs this violence at. The physical scene cuts make it seem like they cut out any reconciliation, as well as the rough choking -> mocking -> going back to normal.

It gets even MORE OOC when it gets to Rhaenyra’s troubling childbirth of Visenya.

Daemon, a man who lost his mother through childbirth of his younger brother Aegon who then died in the crib.

Daemon who did not have a mother for long at all.

Daemon, who watched Viserys and Aemma loose child after child until she dies.

Daemon who watched Laena struggle and end up commanding Vhagar to kill her as an act of Mercy.

Daemon who watched his daughters not have a mother for long at all.

Daemon who watched and saw Rhaenyra not have her mother for long.

Daemon who does not stay with her during the pregnancy, Daemon who they decided to keep separate from Rhaenyra as she struggles to give birth.

It is such an out of character moment that it along with the choking scene ruins him as a man, as every episode has established.

Again he is not perfect, withholds public affection even in high-strung moments due to being cautious in court. Has killed (or at least plotted) his first wife, the whole Gold cloak scene, the grooming.

But, He if this is not changed in the “pristine” cut, it does ruin all that GRRM has established.

It speaks a lot when improvisation on the Actors speak better on the characters than the writers themselves. It speaks a lot when an improvised scene touches people more than what the writers explicitly add.

#so sorry u all had to read this but i have thoughts #and do tell me yours !!! #ask #user milfoiks #house of the dragon #HOTD #GOT #game of thrones #hbo house of the dragon #daemon targeryan #viserys targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #aemma arryn #laena targaryen #rhaenys targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #Long post #alicent hightower

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

act like a lady, think like a man (2009 somehow) - steve harvey

“steve harvey sucks ass”

#steve harvey #dumbass #this book is terrible #i skimmed it #and its so sexist #so dont read it #unless you want a good laugh #he refers to women as throwbacks #so on todays episode of what object are women being compared to #it is fish #anyway #blackout poetry #blackout poem #author #book #poetry

[wkemeup]

Sunrise (4)

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU) pairings: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.2k warnings: symptoms of depression, PTSD, anxiety, some really sweet moments to balance it out, more book recs 🧡 series masterlist / series playlist

“You’re staring at the doors again, sweetie.”

Chin resting on your hands, arms folded out on the countertop of the library’s front desk, you tore your eyes away from the entrance to find Mrs. Jefferson peering over at you from over the bridge of her glasses. She smirked as she returned to her book, knowing she’d caught you in the act.  

“Have patience,” she said simply.

“Book club is tomorrow and—” you sighed, a heaviness returning to your body as you slumped back against the counter, stare drifting back to the doors at the entrance. The sun was beaming outside, reflecting in beautiful rays as it illuminated the walkway and touched over old oak and the colorful bindings of novels. 

You frowned. “I really thought he was going to come.”

“This James Barnes... he’s a soldier, yes? Like my boy?”  

You nodded, disappointment burning like a lump in your throat, though you swallowed it back. “A Sergeant. Sam said he came home a little under a year ago.”  

“Then he’ll come,” Mrs. Jefferson pressed confidently, sliding her glasses up her nose, the chain of purple beads clicking against the gem stones on her sweater. “Boys like that don’t break their word. Even if he is a bit of a hesitant one.”

You knew what she meant by that. Hesitant.  

No one liked to talk about the dangers of a soldier post-war. It was uncomfortable; the idea that they could still be fighting a battle long beyond the absence of a weapon in their hands and the threat of present danger. Heroes weren’t supposed to have chinks in their armor. They weren’t supposed to crumble and break under the weight of what happened beyond borders and the guilt they carried.  

They were supposed to be strong; a symbol of a great country and a willing tribute to place upon a pedestal. It was unacceptable to be a burden, unacceptable to do anything other than seamlessly integrate back into a society that they never really knew to begin with.  

It was all a farce; a rigged game set to line the pockets of the rich and exploit everyone else in its path – sent off to fight for a cause no one really understood or believed in. It left behind good men and women to the rubble; Bucky Barnes among them.  

Sam hadn’t told you much about Bucky before you met him, but you knew enough to tell that it was a struggle to get him to leave the apartment. He was isolated and quiet and hardly recognizable from the man you’d seen in photos. Only, it wasn’t the lack of his left arm that drew your attention when you first saw him, but the lingering sadness in his eyes.  

Sam had a picture hanging in the office that often pulled you in. Bucky stood on his left side, smiling so wide it left lines on his face. He was bright, light as a feather, only weighed down by Steve’s arm slung around his shoulders. You wondered if the man in the photo would have flirted shamelessly with you, if he’d have corny pickup lines or offer to take you dancing. He looked like the sort of man who had girls chasing his tail, a line of heartbreak in his wake. He was beautiful.  

It was strange to see him like that, comparing him to the man he was today. Now, it was like a cloud lingered over his head, draining the color from his skin and chipping away at his soul until it dimmed and crumbled and faded away.  

But you’d seen glimpses of the man in the photo. He was still beautiful; a little hurt and dragging his feet, but beautiful. His smile wasn’t quite as wide and the cloud was still present, but there was a peak of sunshine peering through. A single ray puncturing over stormy skies, but it was something. He’d laughed and teased and it was more than Sam had known him to do in months. You were determined to see the sun touch his skin again. If only he’d let you guide him there.  

“I’m going to go restock on the second level,” you conceded, pushing yourself up from the counter and sauntering over to the cart lined heavy with books.  

“Alright sweetie. I’ll be sure to page you when your Sergeant shows up.”

You felt a heat burning in your face at the very idea of ‘your Sergeant’. Mrs. Jefferson chuckled to herself, eyes still down on her book. She waved you off, not giving you a chance to object, even if you could string together a coherent sentence.  

***

Bucky couldn’t get out of bed.  

He’d been in this predicament hundreds of times before; staring up at the ceiling, wasting the days away as the curtains blocked the light and shielded him from the reminder of another sun daring to rise beyond his window. His energy would be drained and his willingness to so much as brush his teeth was obsolete. He’d known what it felt like to not be able to get out of bed.  

This was different.  

He had somewhere to be. He actually wanted to get up. He really fucking wanted to.

But the pain in his arm had flared to one of the worst episodes he’d had in months and it rendered him useless; the arm that was both there and not there. He could feel his left hand curl to a fist, could feel the itch on his palm, but when he tried to scratch it, he was only met with thin air, his right hand sinking to the mattress in search of the sensation that didn’t exist.  

It was infuriating.  

The nerve endings in his shoulder were going haywire. It felt like his arm was being ripped from his body and it took nearly all the energy he had not to let it consume him. He’d even gone as far to bite off a piece of his cheek in an effort to suppress the lump in his throat.  

Sam would have frowned at that, spewed him some bullshit about how crying can be therapeutic and Steve would nod his head annoyingly in agreement, but Bucky was tougher than that. He had to be tougher than that. If he allowed himself to unlatch that gate, it would consume him whole. He’d drown.  

Hinges squeaked at the front entrance as the door swung open and a pair of heavy footsteps came rushing into the apartment.  

“I’m coming, buddy! Hold on!” Sam called, the plastic swish of the grocery bag handing off his arms dropping to the floor. Bucky tried to concentrate on the sound of running water, the bottle of pills shaking in the small orange bottle, and not on the pain threatening to tear him in half.  

The door to his bedroom flung open and Sam rushed in with a glass of water and his fist closed around two red capsules. He paused in the frame, a frown pushing down at his mouth, and Bucky could only imagine what he looked like; disheveled, sweating, laying in day old clothes and muddled sheets. His right hand was shaking.  

“Alright, help me out, Barnes,” Sam said, setting the glass down on the bedside table. He placed a steady hand on Bucky’s back to help push himself upright. Bucky swung his legs off the side of the bed, finding his balance before Sam placed the pills in his hand.  

Bucky threw them back into his mouth, holding his hand out for the glass of water that would come next. It landed in his grip and he gulped down the medication. There was no instant relief with pain like this, but the knowledge it would soon wear off to something manageable was enough.  

“Thanks,” he mumbled out, voice tense as he struggled to find it.  

“Insurance companies are assholes,” Sam scoffed, shaking his head, though he patted Bucky on the knee. “Cutting off coverage for a fucking vet with no warning like that? Can’t believe you’ve been without this stuff for almost a week. It’s messed up.”  

Bucky had come to expect it. He knew something had to go wrong eventually with how things were starting to turn around. He’d actually been looking forward to seeing you at the library and almost went that next day if it wasn’t for the sudden attack on his own body. He'd tried to deal with it on his own, thinking he might sleep it off, but then it became unbearable. Insurance wouldn’t budge and he didn’t have the energy to argue on the phone with them all day. Thankfully, Sam did.  

Except now it was a day before the next book club meeting and Bucky didn’t know how he was supposed to face you. Part of him wondered if you'd be disappointed, if maybe you’d steal a glance over the doors and hope that it was him walking through, only to be let down as each day passed by. The other half wondered if you’d care at all.  

But he’d seen the way you’d smiled at him, how you’d lit up at the idea of him stopping by.  

You’d care.  

He wasn’t sure if that hurt worse, seeing as he never showed up.  

“You could still go.”

Bucky sighed at Sam’s suggestion. He wasn’t teasing him, wasn’t wearing that shit-eating grin. He was being serious. It was the kind of look that reminded Bucky that under it all, Sam was one of his closest friends, one of the few that stuck around when everything went to shit.

“She’ll want to see you,” Sam continued, nudging Bucky’s side with a soft smile, but Bucky shook his head, unconvinced.

“What am I supposed to say to her, Sam?” Bucky groaned, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “’Sorry I stood you up, but I felt like my hand was being sawed off on an arm I don’t even fucking have?’”

“Why not?” Sam shrugged, earning a glare in response he let roll off his shoulders with ease. “She’d understand, Buck. She knows what comes with the territory here. She’s a lot more familiar with this stuff than you think.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, a pang of jealousy burning hot in his chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Maybe you should ask her why she got involved with the VA in the first place.”

Bucky pressed his lips to a thin line, a silence coming over them. That was an immensely personal question; one akin to someone asking him how he’d lost his arm. He wasn’t sure that was an answer you’d be willing to share.  

Sam exhaled a heavy breath, patting Bucky three times on the knee before he stood up. “Let the meds kick in, but promise you’ll try to go, alright?”

Bucky stared up at Sam for a moment before he conceded with a short nod. The pain in his shoulder was starting to lessen, at least. It didn’t feel like his arm was being torn from his body or a knife was plunging into a part of him that didn’t exist anymore. It would likely get back to a place he could deal with within the hour.

“I promise,” Bucky said. “I’ll go.”

***

A brush of warm air filtered in through the vents as Bucky stepped inside the library. It was bigger than he remembered with large stain glass windows on the outer walls, filtering in a colorful sunlight onto the aisles upon aisles of books. At the center, just ahead of the entrance, was a reception desk. Bucky exhaled a tense breath in an attempt to rid himself from the nerves rattling in his veins and made his way to the woman sitting behind the counter.  

She was reading quietly in her seat, a pair of glasses on a beaded chain perched at the very tip of her nose. She didn’t look up in his direction until he stood at the edge of the desk, and only then, she caught glance of him over the top of her glasses before a smile rose on her lips.  

“Can I help you, young man?”  

Bucky cleared his throat. “I’m supposed to meet someone. She, uh, works here. Y/n.”

The woman nodded. She wore the kind of smile on her face Bucky was familiar with. He’d seen it in Sam about a dozen times in the last week; the kind of smile that said ‘I was right.’

“You must be Sergeant Barnes,” she said as she picked up the radio from the desk.  

Bucky nodded quickly, glancing over his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he felt jittery. He tried not to let the fact that you’d clearly talked to this woman about him throw him completely off his game. If he even had game to begin with…  

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky replied with an even tone. She smirked.  

“Y/n,” she called into the radio, “you have a guest at the front desk.”

The woman held up a finger to him though it trembled with age, signaling for him to wait a moment. Bucky nodded, tucking his hand into his pocket as he silently made his way over to the series of chairs lined along the wall.  

He gripped his fist tight inside his pocket, trying to ignore the pulsing in his shoulder. It had lessened considerably since Sam brought him his meds, but it hadn’t gone away completely. Showering had taken longer than usual and it took him nearly four minutes just to pull a shirt over his head. His army jacket hung over his shoulders, wrapped in a protective layer, loose sleeve at his side. 

“If you’re pulling my chain, Mrs. Jefferson…”  

Bucky perked up at the sound of your voice. You were crossing the main entrance from the staircase, half jogging to the counter where the woman, Mrs. Jefferson, was grinning to herself from behind her book.  

You draped over the counter, toes barely keeping hold on the tile floors as you attempted to reach for her book, but she snatched it from your grasp just in time. You huffed, sinking back down the floor.  

“It’s not funny!” you whined and Bucky almost felt a little guilty for not making his presence known yet, but you were just so cute the way you slumped your shoulders and glanced back at the entrance.  

Mrs. Jefferson pointed over to where Bucky had slowly begun to make his way towards you, but you folded your arms over your chest. Bucky cleared his throat when he stood a few paces off your shoulder, but you didn’t seem to hear him.  

Mrs. Jefferson caught Bucky’s eye before she turned her attention back to you. “Sweetie, he’s—”

“He’s not coming, okay?” you groaned and Bucky felt a stone drop into his stomach. “I—I thought he would but… I was wrong.”

Bucky parted his lips to speak but suddenly his throat was dry. Mrs. Jefferson’s smile started to fade. Clearly, Bucky wasn’t the only one who heard the disappointment in your voice, the sliver of heartbreak, too. He tried to speak, to call your name, to say something, but he was marbled stone.  

“I’m going back to work.”

There wasn’t time to pull his words together before you slammed head first into Bucky’s chest. He stumbled back a few paces, surprised, and you gasped, hands flying to your mouth.  

“Oh God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t—” You stilled, taking in who was standing in front of you. “Bucky?”

He pressed out a smile, though his ears were burning red. “Sorry I’m late.”

“No! N-no, you’re totally fine! I didn’t—I didn’t think you were—” You blinked a few times before your eyes darted back at Mrs. Jefferson who only smirked from behind her book, adjusting the glasses on the tip of her nose. You turned back to Bucky, brushing out the hem of your skirt and wrapping the thick layer of a lavender colored cardigan tightly around your waist, almost like a blanket.  

You exhaled a nervous breath, a nervous smile lifting into your cheeks. “I’m happy you came.”

“It would have been sooner, I swear,” Bucky replied quickly, watching helplessly as your smile brightened into a laugh. “But, um, my uh—”  

He chewed on the edge of his lip. Was he really going to tell you what kept him held up in his room for days on end? Would it bitter the sweet way you looked at him to know that he was a mess under a poorly constructed surface, tied together with string and scotch tape? But you were looking at him so fondly, he wondered if there was anything he could say that could take that away.

“My arm,” he admitted, waiting for a flash of disgust on your face that never came. You softened a bit, but your eyes never left his. He cleared his throat. “It, um… It was just acting up. I ran out of meds and the pain it—it got bad. The kinda pain that sorta makes me wish I had the arm just so I could saw it off myself.”

Shit. He hadn’t mean to say that much but there was just something about the way you looked at him that made him feel like he couldn’t say a damn wrong thing. You pursed your lips, nodding in as much understanding as you could offer. You gestured to the staircase and Bucky followed you without question.  

“I would have been here last week,” Bucky finished because he needed you to know. He couldn’t stand the idea of you being upset, of that sliver of disappointment in your voice when you’d accepted he wasn’t going to show. He needed you to know he’d tried.  

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” you said simply, though he could tell you appreciated it nonetheless. You offered him a smile, one that washed away any feelings of doubt that crept up to the surface. The pain in his shoulder was long forgotten when you looked at him like that.  

“I just wanted you to know.”

I just wanted you to know I’m trying.

He had something to look forward to now, a reason to get out of his bed and open the curtains and look at the fucking sun for once. He had reason to shower and go outside and shove away all the thoughts of self-doubt and paranoia because there was something incredible waiting for him beyond the door.  

I just wanted you to know you’re the reason I’m trying.

“Come on,” you grinned, leading him to the staircase. “I have a few books in mind you might like.”  

Your hand extended in his direction, but you caught yourself when you realized what you were doing. It was seamless enough that you easily played it off as you tugged your sweater tight around your body, but he noticed. It was an intimate gesture, a closeness he hadn’t known in years.  

He hadn’t remembered what it felt like to crave something like that.

***

It didn’t take long for Bucky to settle on The Martian by Andy Weir. It was the first book you pulled from the shelves, one amongst a series of alternatives you had ready in the event this one didn’t appeal to him. All it took was a single glance over the back cover, a slight incline in his brow, and he was sold.

“I trust you,” was all Bucky had said; so simply, as if it didn’t take the breath straight from your chest.   

Bucky didn’t have a library card you realized as you brought him back to the front desk. He’d sheepishly asked to check it out on your account, but you were determined to see more of him and you hoped that by getting him his own card, he might be more inclined to come back. Not that you explained it that way per say, but he didn’t object at least.

It had taken a lot less time than either of you anticipated and you found yourself following him to the exit, both of you dragging your feet.

“So, um…” he started, a nervous chuckle in his voice. “That was easy.”

“Yeah,” you scratched at the back of your neck, glancing to the clock hanging high on the eastern wall. “I hope you like it after all this trust you’re putting in my judgement.”

“I’m sure I will.”

A short silence swept over. Neither of you moving to leave. A couple swerved around you in an effort to get to the doors. The silence wasn’t awkward, but there was a nervous energy in it, like you were both waiting for the other to make the first move. Only, you both did it at once.  

“Would you want to—”

“I’m off at four—”

You bit down on your lips, suppressing a laugh. You gestured for him to go first. His looked so sweet with the pink in his cheeks. A man who had been once rendered as a weapon and he wore a blush in his cheeks. Your stomach held butterflies in its cage.  

“There’s a coffeeshop nearby,” he continued nervously. “I was thinking I could replace that coffee of yours I spilled last week…”

Your cheeks were starting to ache from how wide you were smiling. “Give me five minutes? I just need to wrap things up with Mrs. Jefferson and then I’m yours.”

Bucky’s eyes widened for a second, a flash of something unreadable on his face. He shook it off quickly and nodded, telling you he’d wait by the chairs along the wall until you were ready. It wasn’t until you were halfway to the desk that you’d realized what you’d said.  

I’m yours.

A harmless saying; one people used every day in passing. Still, you felt that same surge of energy at the thought. From the twists in your stomach and the stammer in your heart, you knew that if he’d asked, it would be true.  

***

Bucky watched as you scurried back to the main desk, a few quick glances back over your shoulder in his direction like you were making sure he was still there. You were smiling so wide, he wondered if it ached in your cheeks. He’d never known anyone to smile as much as you did, like you had this limitless supply of joy eager to be tapped into. He couldn’t help but feel a twist in his stomach, knowing he had been able to syphon some of that joy and bring it to the surface. It was him you were smiling at. It felt like a dream.

He glanced down at the book nestled into the sleeve of his bag; a stunning ombre in shades of orange to red to black, a lone astronaut in the center – like he was floating adrift. You’d told him it was a story of survival, of the intricacies of humanity and human connection. It was funny at times and filled with science beyond your pay grade, but it was mesmerizing.  

There was an unspoken hope he could read in your eyes that he might connect to the main character, Mark Watney in his search for connection, in his desperate hope to free himself from the isolation, in his resilience. You’d said Mark was an exceptional character, one with courage and determination to be admired.  

Bucky wasn’t sure he could stand up to the likes of Mark Watney, but he would certainly try.  

The glimmer in your eye as you spoke about the book, almost as if it were an old friend, was enough to convince him. For the first time in years, he felt the urge to read when he got home, just so he could see the look on your face in book club when you realized he’d already started it. He wanted to make you proud, wanted to see more of your smile. It was his new drive.  

A few minutes later, you came jogging back up to him. Your purse hung over your shoulders, a few new books of your own tucked under your arm. You’d done more than finish your shift at the desk though, he realized, because his eyes flickered to a reflective shine on your lips, one that hadn’t been there before. You’d put on lip gloss.

His heart flipped.  

“Ready?” you asked, gesturing to the doors. All bright eyes and sunshine as you looked at him.  

“There’s a café called Luciana’s not too far from here. I’ve heard good things about it. Might be quiet,” Bucky offered and a flash of something unreadable crossed your features. “Do you know it?”

“I go there every Sunday before book club! It’s my favorite,” you replied, nearly skipping in your steps. “Replacing my coffee and getting it right down to the same shop? I’m impressed, Bucky.”

He chuckled, hanging his head as he followed you down the descending staircase and into the heavy flow of pedestrian traffic. He’d forgotten how busy the sidewalks could get at rush hour and the smile quickly drained from his face, though he wouldn’t let you see.  

Bucky tried to focus on you as the strangers circled in around him, how you were laughing at the coincidence of it all, starting on a tangent of your favorite donuts at the shop. Your voice was like a beacon and he did his best use it as a guide.  

But he could feel the quicken pace of his heart inside his chest, how it thumped through his ribs and pulsed into his head the closer strangers got to him. He swerved out of the way of a tourist who was too busy looking down at his phone to notice Bucky in his path. He kept his head down, hand clenched tightly in his jacket pocket, eyes staring at the concrete.  

Teenagers were whispering behind him, snickering under their breath, and Bucky could hear the harsh ‘shhh’ of a father at wit’s end. His lungs felt tight, certain that the boys were mocking the loose sleeve hanging down by his side. He could have taken it if here were on his own. His ears would flush red and a wash of shame and embarrassment would flood his senses, but he could have taken it.  

Not with you by his side. Not when you could be privy to the harsh stares and the cruel voices, the validation to a fear he’d known to be true long before he met you – that he was a broken mess of who he used to be and he would never find that sense of normalcy again. He was kidding himself into thinking that you could ever want someone like—

“Bucky?”

When he looked up at you, your smile had fallen away, replaced with concern. It must not have been the first time you called his name. He didn’t know what to say. He felt small, like a child, embarrassed that even on a good day the influx of people still rendered him to a state of panic.  

“Come on,” you said quietly, glancing around to an alley off your shoulder. “Let’s take the scenic route.”  

He followed gratefully, staring at your shoulder blades as you led him away from the busy hustle of the crowd and along empty side streets and residential neighborhoods. It would take longer this way, but you didn’t seem to mind. You were too busy admiring the architecture of the brownstones and the beautiful array of plants and flowers hanging along the windows. In the open space, you skipped a few paces ahead, arms out wide and twirled around, simply because you could. You laughed and it echoed up along the buildings.  

Bucky could have handed you his heart right then. He could have pulled it straight from his chest and set it into your palms. He wondered if you would handle it with the tender sort of care he hoped you would. His heart was fraying and damaged, after all. It required a gentle touch.  

You fell back in line with him easily and you checked to make sure the next block wasn’t too busy before you led him down another side street. He tried to ignore the voices telling him he was a burden, that his baggage was dragging heavy at your feet, but it crept to the surface no matter how many times you smiled at him.  

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled out, willing his voice to be stronger than it felt. “I don’t know why this is such an issue for me. I was fine on the way over.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Bucky,” you said gently, slowing your pace until you came to a stop.  

Bucky dragged his feet, stopping along a bush of pink hydrangeas planted outside a stunning brick townhome. From the corner of his eye, he watched as your hand reached out to him instinctively, almost in slow motion, and you only paused as you realized what you were doing and pulled back. You cleared your throat.

“I’m not ever someone you have to apologize to about this stuff, okay?” you continued with a kind of sincerity in your voice, Bucky didn’t have a choice but to believe you. The way you looked at him nearly pulled him to pieces. “It comes and goes. Waxes and wanes. There’s no fault. No blame. Just tell me if something’s wrong, so I can help. That’s all I ask.”

Were you speaking from experience? Did you know someone who had been as shattered as he was? Was it the reason Sam wanted him to ask about why you were involved with the VA to begin with?  

It was quiet on the side street; the only sound the distant footsteps from traffic up ahead and the low rumble of car engines in the distance. A bird chirped from a low handing branch above.  

You shoved your hands into your pockets in an effort to keep yourself from reaching for his. He was surprised at the twist in his stomach when he wished you would have tried just one more time. Maybe he could have had some courage to take it.  

“Okay,” Bucky agreed, feeling a weight lift from his chest. When you smiled again it was small— a little heavy— but it touched your eyes. There was a relief in it, maybe an appreciation, too. It swept away some of the anxiety from his veins.  

“Okay.” Your smile widened as you continued to walk down the sidewalk. Bucky found himself feeling a little lighter as he followed behind.  

When the two of you approached the main street again along the block Luciana’s was tucked away in, Bucky didn’t feel as though he was suffocating anymore. He could sense his reflexes picking up, a subtle increase in his heart rate, but he walked a little closer to you, your hip bumping against his every so often and he found that it grounded him. It kept him firm on the surface when he felt like he was floating up into a distant unknown. He wondered if you knew the extent to which you affected him.  

Luciana’s was quiet inside as Bucky jutted out ahead of you to reach for the door. A soft strum of an acoustic guitar and a Spanish speaking singer’s intricate melody hummed over the speakers. He felt a solid breath of air fill his lungs, tasting of coffee beans and fresh pastries.  

“Welcome to—” a voice called from behind the counter before she paused, eyes falling on you. “Y/n!”  

A woman ran out from behind the counter, dressed in a stained apron and a long, bright pink dress, and held her arms out to you. You laughed as she enveloped you to her chest.  

“My darling! It is not Sunday, you know. You’re getting your days mixed up!” she exclaimed, wagging her finger at you. She didn’t even give you time to explain before she turned to Bucky, who suddenly felt a burn of heat on his face. “Ah! You finally brought me one of your boys!”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, turning to you quickly. His stomach dropped.  

“She means at the VA,” you explained, a little embarrassed at her implication as you shuffled your feet, eyes darting at the floor. Bucky raised an eyebrow in realization, eyes flickering back to the woman – who he assumed to be Luciana herself – as she scurried back around the counter. He noticed then that she was wearing slippers on her feet.  

“Come, come!” She called eagerly, waiting with a tapping toe at the register.  

You and Bucky exchanged a glance, a breath of a laugh escaping before you stepped up to the counter. You didn’t hesitate in your order, though you took some extra time in looking over the pastries and donuts after Bucky told you to pick something out for him. You put so much thought into it, it was really quite sweet. He waited until you reached down for your purse to slip his card over the counter to Luciana.  

She wore that same smile he’d seen on Mrs. Jefferson at the library. That smirk. Like they knew something he didn’t.  

You heard the ring of the cash registered and looked up at him, agape. You swatted his arm without thinking twice about it and there was a comfort in that. He laughed, taking his coffee and settling in at a table by the windows as you followed behind.  

As he watched you across the table, your eyes glancing out to the pedestrians as they walked back, nursing the steaming mug of coffee between your hands, that morning suddenly felt like it was a life time ago.  

Had he really been paralyzed with pain, unable to move from his bed, just a few hours earlier? It felt like a century had passed in between. In a rare indulgence, Bucky let himself wonder what it would feel like to spend all his time with you; if maybe time moved so fast it swept him off his feet or if it moved slow enough to allow him to catch every second.  

All he knew was that he wanted more.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic

[itsclydebitches]

On the Anime Slushie guys, I was with them until they said in their V8C9 recap that Yang and Oscar are in the wrong for treating Salem like a monster. Like I'm sorry, but no matter how much hardship she endured that stops being something I expect sympathy for when she's trying to murder everyone, especially when she's in the process of torturing both Yang and Oscar. They even say Ozma's wrong for doing it too which is just... huh?

I haven’t watched any of the earlier episodes yet, but yeah, I personally can’t get behind that perspective. Outside of the general ideas that tend to thread themselves through the RWBY fandom — that all the women are inherently good and forgivable; that if Ozpin is as evil as people claim, Salem must be his contrast and secretly At Least A Somewhat Decent Person — the “poor Salem” viewers seems to rest heavily on (you guessed it) a lot of headcanoning. I can’t speak to the Slushie peeps, but I know many fans have interpreted Salem’s plunge as a total loss of agency: the grimm goop overtook her, forced her to become a monster, and if our heroes could just remove this pesky, magical illness then Salem would go back to being one of the good guys. She’s not a villain, just a slave to evil magic. Which, overlooking her choices made while she was 100% human — I feel for the woman trying to resurrect her lover and deal with a horrific curse, far less for the woman who decided that dealing with that meant lying to a good chunk of humanity so they’d help her commit two murders — this is straight up contradicted by canon: 

“She was wrong. This force of pure destruction could not destroy a being of infinite life. Instead, it created a being of infinite life with a desire for pure destruction.” 

Idk about everyone else, but “desire” sounds pretty attached to agency to me. It’s not that Salem is forced to ruin people’s lives, it’s that her experience created the desire to enact ruin. “But that’s still just the magic taking over!” No, it’s not. We might have gotten that version of RWBY, but then the rest of the episode showed Salem living alone in a picturesque cabin, having tea with Ozma, ruling four girls in peace... Sure, they did some VERY iffy things in terms of presenting themselves as gods to the people, but ultimately Salem was a pretty chill wife/mom for years. Until she realized her kids had magic and decided to replace humanity with her “superior” genes. Until Ozma went, “lol wtf no??” and tried to escape, so she decided to kill him and her kids. Those peaceful scenes showed us that Salem does have agency. She can, at any point, take hold of her destructive tendencies and tell them no, we will not be killing people today. Sorry! Perhaps with more difficulty than the average person... but that’s not an excuse. Yang has more trouble controlling her anger than others, but that difficulty doesn’t give her a blanket justification for lashing out all the time. Salem, no matter what she is now, is 100% making her own choices... so no, no one is required to be nice to her. Especially when she is currently destroying a kingdom, torturing a child, and attempting to kill three of his friends. We should keep these acts into perspective, AKA, horrendously bad things. 

I know I’m a broken record at this point, but it really does boggle my mind that characters like Ozpin are presented as, “I was given the impossible task to save the world and though I’ve tried my hardest for generations, things went wrong :(” and the response is, “You monster! You’d better be punished and beg for forgiveness.” But we’ve got Salem presented as, “I’m the unambiguous Evil Villain of this story who has spent eight seasons doing objectively horrific things on screen without an ounce of remorse :)” and the response is, “You poor thing! You still deserve to be saved. Hey, heroes she’s trying to kill, chop chop. Be nice to her already!” Like yeah, RWBY can absolutely write a “everyone lives/is redeemed/forgiven” story if they want to, but that doesn’t erase that comparatively those responses have been wild. 

#rwby #mymetas #Anonymous

[justforbooks]

In Ian McEwan’s 1987 novel The Child in Time, Stephen, a children’s author, is rebuked by his scientist friend Thelma for his lack of interest in theoretical physics. “Shakespeare would have grasped wave functions, Donne would have understood complementarity and relative time,” she chides him. “But you ‘arts’ people, you’re not only ignorant of these magnificent things, you’re rather proud of knowing nothing.” She laughs at him for imagining modernism – “modernism!” – is anything more than a “passing local fashion” compared to the wonders of modern science.

It is a position with which McEwan clearly has some sympathy – Enduring Love (1997), Saturday (2005) and Solar (2010) are intensely interested in psychiatry, neuroscience and climate science respectively, though not so much in modernism. In his tenth novel, Edward St Aubyn is similarly determined to show that he has diligently digested a decade’s worth of Nature journal. Double Blind is a cerebral, large-canvas novel about a loose group of upper-class friends engaged in neuroscience, genetics and ecology. It seems to offer a riposte to Thelma’s arguments, 34 years later.

At the novel’s heart is a touchy defence of Freudian psychoanalysis – which of course formed the subsoil from which that “passing local fashion” for modernism grew, and which St Aubyn feels has been unfairly maligned by hard-science types. St Aubyn himself went through years of psycho-analysis, as did his most famous character, Patrick Melrose, who is raped at the age of five by his father in Never Mind (1992), the first novel in the Melrose quintet. It’s no coincidence that Patrick’s best friend is a psychoanalyst, nor that the characters who express cynicism towards the practice are usually the most loathsome.

Throughout Double Blind, there is a distinct thread of nostalgia for the “anecdotal end of science” – for science as a gentlemanly business of simile and symbolism, language and narrative. There are two scientists of this sort at the novel’s heart. One is the avuncular psychoanalyst, Martin Carr, who is frustrated by the limitation of modern approaches to schizophrenia, which lean too much on anti-psychotic drugs. We see these problems manifest in his patient, a young, working-class man called Sebastian, who suffers violent episodes of mental illness but who benefits from Martin’s attentiveness to his disordered language.

The novel’s hero, though, is Martin’s prospective son-in-law, Francis, a philosophically minded, mid-30-something naturalist, who is working to rewild the private land of some enlightened aristocrats. Francis’s quiet wisdom, big-brain and “impressive calm” in the kitchen have charmed Martin’s adopted daughter, Olivia, a biologist writing a book about epigenetics. Her best friend from Oxford University, Lucy, has been head-hunted by an ex-hedge-funder Hunter Sterling, who wants her to run his new venture capital firm, Digitas. Hunter – a Westminster School alumnus with a raging drug habit – has made investments in biotech, AI and robotics, but also wants to get into philanthropy. “For a man as rich as him to show his face in society without a Foundation would be like a construction worker not having a hard hat on a building site,” writes St Aubyn – and that’s one of the novel’s better similes.

As Double Blind veers between jet-setting farce and musings on recent issues of Current Biology, it soon becomes clear that St Aubyn’s main objective is to critique the exalted position of hard science – using his characters as mouthpieces. Martin’s pet peeve is that hard science denigrates the “fanciful realm of emotion… symbolic language, psychological conditioning and cultural context” in favour of “the proper objects of scientific enquiry: brain mapping and biochemistry”. As the novel’s title suggests, St Aubyn has some beef with funding, peer review, publication and the randomised double-blind placebo control trial, an experiment in which both doctor and patients are unaware whom has been given a placebo and whom the real drug. This model has long been held up as the “gold standard” of scientific research as it supposedly eliminates bias. However, those who thrive within this culture, argues St Aubyn, are no less biased or corrupted than the “arts” people; they are “rotten by their own ‘double blind’ standards”.

Ask many scientists and they will complain about the shortcomings of academic publishing, funding models and so on. But is corruption as endemic as St Aubyn seems to think it is? I’m not so sure – and St Aubyn isn’t the writer I’d trust to explore it anyway. He seems too nostalgic for the days when science was just about viable as an aristocratic leisure pursuit.

To make his case, he repeatedly returns to the importance of “symbolic language” and how scientists don’t understand metaphor. All except our hero, Francis. As he ponders the nature of awareness, he reflects on how his own mind “continually generated metaphors to remind himself of a natural state that should have come, well, more naturally, but in his case, came with a caravan of similes and arguments”. It’s a peculiar line of argument (as well as a peculiar metaphor). Science is hardly devoid of symbolic language. I do not pretend to understand string theory, but I assume that it involves metaphorical rather than literal string. The irony of St Aubyn’s defence of symbolic language, though, is that his own metaphors and similes are howlingly bad.

At one point, Francis compares “Occam’s Razor, the minimalist aesthetic that was supposed to adjudicate over intellectual life for the rest of time” to “a fashion editor in a black pencil skirt who simply refuses to retire, decade after decade, despite the screams of protest from an art department longing for a little moment of baroque excess and a splash of colour”. I’m sorry, what? When Lucy discovers, a few days into her new job, that she has a brain tumour, she thinks it’s “like being raped while you’re in a coma and only finding out when you see the CCTV footage”. Is it really? Must we imagine the uncommon horror of being raped in a coma to appreciate the shock of being diagnosed with a brain tumour? I began to flinch every time I saw the word “like”.

In the spirit of scientific enquiry, I reached for the Melrose books to run the same test again. St Aubyn’s best similes are exhilarating in their precision. “Dull, dissolute, and obscure [club] members felt buoyed up by this atmosphere of power, as little dinghies bob up and down on their moorings when a big yacht sails out of the harbour they have shared.” Vodka cracks ice in a glass, “like a spine in the hands of a confident osteopath”. However, many others feel lazy. A pompous, overweight man looks “like a hippopotamus with hypertension”. When David Melrose is drugged, “The armchair felt like a cheese fondue.”

St Aubyn has said that he can have “20 or 30 goes” at a sentence before it’s any good – except dialogue, which comes more naturally. I don’t believe he has had 20 or 30 goes at any sentence in Double Blind. And I wish he had gone several more rounds with his dialogue, which feels stagy and forced, like a Tom Stoppard play reworked by Dan Brown. In one scene, Hunter arrives unannounced at Francis’s cottage by helicopter and, over a caviar lunch, Olivia compares the “circular” arguments of scientists trying to prove the genetic causes of schizophrenia as “like a wagon formation protecting beleaguered dogma”. Olivia, Lucy and Francis may have zeitgeisty concerns – rewilding, psychedelics, epigenetics – but none of them sound like any mid-30-somethings around today. The women, supposedly great scientific minds, aren’t allowed do anything with them; they seem little different to the Alice-band-wearing Sloanes and predatory vixens St Aubyn depicts in the Melrose series. In fact, the whole novel has a peculiar late-Eighties atmosphere.

The most natural and affecting interactions are between Martin and his patient Sebastian. We are reminded that St Aubyn is at his best when he’s exploring deep psychological pain. But for much of the novel, it feels as if he is hiding behind a wall of intellectual discourse. Consequences rarely carry from one chapter to the next. Tension dissipates. If emotions, anecdote, psychology and narrative are so important, where are the deeper registers of empathy and pathos that made the Melrose novels so rich and memorable? As it is, Double Blind fails to convince either on the science or on the human drama. Maybe Thelma had a point.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS

[leannetalksanime]

Shōnen Anime Through The Feminist Lens

During quarantine, there has been a significant rise in the popularity of Anime; this wave of new fans brought back memories of when I first started exploring anime and how I came to love this media. Anime is a confusing word: In the western world, anime a separate genre of animated shows and movies from the typical western cartoons (ie. SpongeBob, Tom and Jerry, etc.) while in Japan, it refers to any animation in general. But for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to anime as a type of animated show or movie that uses signature aspects of Japanese-style animation.

Usually, a person is recommended mainstream shows from the shōnen genre when introduced to anime. Shōnen anime and manga are marketed towards boys between the ages of 12-18, but a lot of people outside of that demographic enjoy this genre as well. I find myself watching and recommending shōnen shows because of how exceptionally written the plot, the character development, and worldbuilding are. However, problems with female representation stem from the misconception that shōnen is only for boys or that girls don’t enjoy these types of stories. It is frustrating to see how little action and development female characters are given compared to their male counterparts and how often they are sexualized for the sake of comedic relief or fan service. 

NARUTO and NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

The Naruto series follows the journey of Naruto Uzumaki as he achieves his dreams to be acknowledged by the village he lives in and become the Hokage (the leader of the village). It’s a story about saving the world, protecting your loved ones, and believing in yourself.

Almost every person who has watched more than 3 years of anime has seen Naruto; those who haven’t still can recognize characters, references, and general plot points. Yes, it is THAT popular. I knew about the show but, I put off this anime for so long because of the silly reason that Naruto was an annoying brat at the beginning of the series. It took me a few months to build up my courage to pick up the series again— and wow! I was glad I did! I restarted my journey about two months ago and, as of today, I have less than 50 episodes left to watch to finish the series (keep in mind that the complete series has about 700 episodes). I got attached to the characters for their development and their compelling stories. I saw Naruto grow from being a troublemaker to a dependable hero, watched Sasuke go down a dark path for the sake of revenge, and learned about Kakashi and Itachi’s heartbreaking childhoods. But the girls? Where are the girls?

As well written as the story is, girls in Naruto are viewed as support-type characters for the boys; their stories aren’t touched upon and remain the same throughout the series. The lack of development of the girls is best highlighted by Sakura— the main female character and the most hated person from the series, and dare I say, all of anime. At the beginning of the series, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura train together to become ninjas with their teacher, Kakashi. Sasuke was a prodigy and excelled in every task, Sakura was known for her intelligence and chakra control, and Naruto lacked skill yet impulsively charged headfirst towards his enemies. As the show went on, Naruto and Sasuke’s skills have grown on par as they continuously try to learn new powers to one-up the other. But Sakura stayed the same. Even though she gained super strength and trained to become a medical ninja under the Fifth Hokage, her abilities and progress are constantly shadowed by her teammates' flashy powers (look at the picture above). This gap is even more prominent after the time skip in Shippuden where she becomes a “damsel in distress” which annoyed a lot of fans. She had so much potential to become a great character. Even if she was not the strongest ninja, the show could have taken steps to make her valuable in some way even if all they did was make her an efficient support character to Naruto and Sasuke instead of making her seem like she is always in their way. The unbalance caused by the lack of active female roles in Naruto leaves the female audience unrepresented. The female characters' underdevelopment implied that the girls are incompetent and therefore don’t get to make an impact in the story.  

ONE PIECE

I can talk about this show for hours. With 950+ anime episodes and 1000+ manga chapters, One Piece is synonymous with art; it follows the story of Monkey D. Luffy and his crew, the Straw Hat Pirates, on an adventure to find One Piece. Unlike other shōnen stories, One Piece immerses the audience into a mysterious world that is complex, dynamic, and feels real. Every single character is well developed— each of them have insanely detailed backstories, memorable personalities, and compelling motivations making them feel human. The story also tackles unconventional topics such as slavery, racism, the justice system, and classism. I could go on and on listing reasons as to why I love One Piece or why it is worth catching up to the 950 episodes, but I feel like you should let One Piece in and find that out for yourself. 

Unlike Naruto, women take on significant roles in One Piece and are often admired as role models. However, the lack of body diversity and the over-sexualization of the female characters leave a rather unpleasant aftertaste. 

As seen above, they all suffer the same-body syndrome— large breasts, impossibly tiny waists, and skimpy clothing. I get that these are common types of fanservice but, there are plenty of questionable design choices whenever fanservice is prioritized over logic (ie. the top-left girl is supposed to be a gladiator but her outfit does the very opposite of protecting her as it leaves her vital areas exposed). Another issue I have is with Sanji and his behaviour around women. He is the prime example of what the internet would call a ‘simp’ where his perverse tendencies and chivalry clash whenever he is near a female character. I feel like his overprotectiveness toward women and his willingness to die for them is counterintuitive to the powerful portrayal of women in the story. I understand that fanservice isn't going anywhere but the girls’ unrealistic designs and their treatment dilute their complex characterization to mere pretty and delicate objects.

CONCLUSION

From a feminist point of view, Naruto and One Piece have their own shortcomings when it comes to the inclusion and depiction of girls. I particularly chose to talk about them because they are the central faces of the shōnen genre, both of them depict common issues with female representation in most shōnen stories. It is understandable to a certain extent as to why the authors chose to draw/develop their characters, however, the lack of active female characters in shōnen stories fuels the ” shōnen is for boys, therefore, don’t expect female representation” narrative. It would do no harm to write stronger and more complex female characters in these stories, in fact, it would make the stories much more interesting as there is variation in perspectives and experiences— especially now because of the strong societal push toward feminism and the growing female audience consuming anime media. The fact that shounen does target boys is perhaps the most important reason to feature complex, active female characters in these stories—not only as supportive figures or dream girls, but as someone they can relate to and look up to as well.

EXTRA: NEW GENERATION SHŌNEN!

Naruto and One Piece have been in the anime scene for decades, but as societal values shift, many New Generation Shōnen are trying to tackle the inclusion of feminism in their stories. Here are some:

Boku no Hero Academia, one of the primary faces of New Gen Shōnen: A superheroes story where superpowers or quirks rule the world.  Physical advantages male characters may have during fights is insignificant as the winner is decided by their ability to use their power at its full potential and their compatibility with the opponent’s quirk. Women are shown to have different body types, breaking the skinny hourglass stereotype with healthy and muscular bodies. Read more on how BNHA is breaking the moulds here: https://www.animefeminist.com/feature-hero-academia-confronts-shonen-sexism/ 

Mob Psycho 100: A supernatural shōnen where the main character, Mob, struggles with masculinity, battles for self-improvement, and desires to just be an amiable and helpful person. His story breaks the typical toxic masculinity tropes in shonen stories and instead focuses on Mob’s emotional journey to being comfortable with who he is. Read more about this here: https://www.animefeminist.com/anime-feminists-top-25-anime-of-the-decade/

Demon Slayer, another progressive main face of the New Gen Shōnen: A historical supernatural story where women are given major roles and are never looked down upon by their male counterparts. As demon slayers, their attire is unique to each individual yet fit for their job and is not compromised for the sake of fanservice.

- Leanne.

#anime #shonen anime #shonen #feminism #feminist lens #anime analysis #analysis #naruto #naruto shippuden #sakura #one piece #bnha #my hero academia #boku no academia #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 3x2 rewatch: thoughts and reaction

This is dedicated to the one and only Lucas Jade Zumann, who turns 20 today. Now, without further ado, let’s dive right into this episode.

When did Marilla become what TVtropes calls an Amazingly Embarrassing Parent? I mean, it was a matter of time, now that she’s a full-on mother to Anne. And Gilbert’s reactions are everything. Everything, I tell you.

How wonderful - Anne is going to town to learn about her past. I love how they incorporated this into her story in the series, it’s, as Anne herself would say, so much more ‘romantical’ than what the books gave her as a backstory. Also, there’s something about train rides that I love so much... maybe it’s because I don’t get to ride on a train very often, so it’s exciting for me... but let’s turn our attention away from me and back to Shirbert on the train again. 

‘Yes, I’ve taken notice of that.’ Wow, the wording. I bet he’s taken notice of something else, too. But with how Anne is treating him, Gilbert doesn’t seem in a hurry to confess any feelings just yet. Plus he seems not to know how... this is so perfect yet so frustrating at the same time.

Matthew’s awkwardness around women warms my heart. He’s just such a precious cinnamon roll and that’s that on that. 

This ride makes it, once again, so clear just how similar Anne and Miss Stacy are. True kindred spirits. Her incessant talking and unquenchable excitement over everything, combined with Matthew’s awkward struggle to find words, remind me so much of Anne’s first ride to Green Gables. 

Mary’s happiness over seeing her son, and his own cheerfulness compared to the last time we saw him are just everything. Everything - I’ve got a feeling I’ll be using this word a lot in this post. This episode is just that good, at least so far. I’ve allowed myself enough time and distance to forget what happens in it (or at least the details, I do remember some major stuff), so I can experience it almost as if for the first time. I love that about rewatches. 

Elijah is thinking about staying - what a lovely family they could be. But he’s quite... wary of Delphine, as if he’s jealous of the family his mother has built herself in his absence. I don’t really know the feeling, but I can tell it’s a horrid one. 

But look who it is - the man himself, Cole Mackenzie! I’ve been so excited to see him again, and now here he is, in flesh and blood. His friendship with Anne is just... you guessed it - everything!

I am so beyond happy to hear Cole talking excitedly about his new school and new friends, and his happy new life. This guy deserves the world - and he’s getting increasingly large portions of it now. So brilliant.

I see we’re being introduced to Winifred Rose here. She certainly seemed like a potential kindred spirit in her introducing scene - too bad her and Anne’s relationship to Gilbert wouldn’t allow this to happen. But who knows - maybe someday in the future... #renewannewithane

May I just say how much I agree with Miss Stacy on the matter of choosing to be single. No one should be forcing you to find a partner if that’s not what you want. I remember coming out to my high school ‘friends’ as aroace. Their immediate reaction was to try and find me a boy. Some people just don’t understand that not everyone needs romantic  (or otherwise) companionship to be a happy, functional human being. I admire Miss Stacy for standing her ground on the matter.

Anne’s traumatic past haunts her more than ever once she goes back to the orphanage she’s spent most of her life in. I think I’m getting traumatised just by watching, imagine what Anne has lived through. 

Poor Anne can’t even muster up the strength to speak, traumatised as she is. Thank gods for Cole, always there to help out. But I guess he must be realising now, just as I am for the second time, just as I was the first time around, how much Anne has really been through in her short life so far. She’s really lucky to have the Cuthberts now, and her friends, friends like Cole. But she’s still haunted by all the trauma. I’m crying. I don’t know if I can carry on with this rewatch. I might just stop right here. 

Seriously, thank gods for Cole. How can he always bring so much light into other people’s lives, even back when he didn’t have that much light in his own? And to be honest, Anne does the same for people. She’s done it so many times that she needed someone to do it for her for once. Thank gods for people Cole. 

‘If you’re having fun, you’re doing it wrong.’ That is a serious red flag. I know things were different back in time, but I really think that you can’t have fun with something unless you’re doing it wrong, it’s better not to do it at all. So Gilbert should pursue what makes him happy, not try to stick to formalities that, at best, bind him. But hey, he’ll have to figure that out for himself. I can’t possibly go in there and tell him. But gosh, how I wish I could...

‘The best part of knowing the rules is finding acceptable ways of breaking them.’ I feel like that’s an important message. Rules aren’t meant to be obeyed blindly. It is crucial to know when and how to a rule to make the world a little bit of a better place. I’m not sure that’s the message here in this situation, in fact I think it’s most likely not, but I’m taking what I can out of it, and I’m flying with it. Isn’t that what I always do? Twist any topic towards an aspect I can talk about - since I can’t really talk about a great many things. Well, whatever, let us try and focus on the episode at hand now. I really struggle with staying on track. But I still have half of this episode to rewatch, so let’s get back to where we were. 

Elijah is seriously out of line. Seriously. I get he’s bitter that Delphine is getting the family he didn’t quite have, but his mother is right about him needing to sober up. And Bash’s trying to understand him, but some people really need to meet the business end of things rather than the kind, understanding end. 

‘Catch a man. Is it like fishing?’ Gosh, Muriel Stacy, you crack me up. But she’s absolutely right, you know. Romance and courtship should not be like fishing or hunting. A partner is not an object to be obtained, not a prize to be won. They are a fellow human being with needs of their own. But if Muriel doesn’t want one, as I said somewhere above, she should in no way be forced to ‘catch’ a man.  

Anne needs proof that she was loved... well, look no further than the pair of lone siblings who accepted you in their home and in their hearts. Look no further than the Cuthberts. 

Gilbert is quite unusually cheerful today. I’m guessing that would be courtesy of Winifred. In another universe, maybe. Either way, there is a more serious issue at hand. Elijah again, who else. He’s stolen from John Blythe’s possessions, as if he has the rights to. 

‘Fraternising with savages’? Seriously, Marilla? After all the good things I said about you? Not that they weren’t true, mind you, but that doesn’t make the part about calling other people, fellow human beings, ‘savages’. No one deserves to be treated like that. 

Gosh, that was quite a way to say those three little words. Three heavy, meaningful little words. And sure, as far as I understand, for I am no mother nor do I want to be, worry is the biggest sign of a mother’s love. And despite all the things Marilla said about the Mi’kmaq, she is a good mother to Anne. 

Let’s sum up: Marilla is an amazingly embarrassing mother, but a mother nonetheless; Anne is so cold to Gilbert that he has to resort to awkwardly courting Winifred - why?; Anne’s quest for her own past; Cole returns - thank gods for Cole; Elijah is also back, but I can’t welcome him with open arms; Miss Stacy is a true kindred spirit who, however, does not need a man to be happy; Anne is haunted by her traumatic past; Elijah steals from a dead man; ‘fraternising with savages’ - have we forgotten Anne was also a person whom mothers didn’t want their children fraternising with?; Marilla says ‘I love you’.

#anne with an e #awae #anne shirley cuthbert #gilbert blythe #marilla cuthbert #matthew cuthbert #bash lacroix #mary lacroix #delphine lacroix #cole mackenzie #muriel stacy #rachel lynde #winifred rose #awae season 3 #awae s3 #jnk watches awae

[aconboyindependent2021]

‘Now and Then’ - current state of play

My film is a re-imagining of the site of Brighton General Hospital next to my home. Until around 70 years ago, a workhouse operated on the site (for details, see: Gardner, J, (2012) A History of the Brighton Workhouses). Aspects of the austere workhouse are still evident on the site today. I began to think about the stories of the residents of the workhouse – what did they have to endure? With this in mind, I bought the above book by a local author about the history of workhouses in Brighton.

I have always been fascinated by the idea that traumatic events in a particular location can be recorded and replayed at a later time in history and that this might be a basis for ghosts and hauntings – for example, in the blockbuster, Poltergeist, and the BBC drama from the 1970’s The Stone Tapes (Sasdy, 1972). This is one of the key concepts behind the film.

After a lot of thought, I settled on the story of the workhouse being told by a single woman, Agatha, whose infant child was taken from her illegally and sold to a rich couple living in Brighton. This is a variation on the common Victorian  practice of unmarried women being compelled to give their children to a foundling home.

The film starts with Aggie telling her story in largely neutral terms and comparing the workhouse and the site’s positive use today as a hospital, but it climaxes with Aggie screaming with the loss of her child, and we see that she is a tormented spectre.The film ends with her anguish fading into a sign on the present site, promoting a nursery for infant children.

The film will be around 5-6 minutes long and will consist of edited original footage taken on the site in the present day. The film will be treated with video effects to alter the pacing, colour and atmosphere of the original footage. I have asked for a drama-trained friend to narrate the film as Aggie and will be using original and library sound effects and music motifs, or possibly drones to punctuate the soundtrack.

Now and Then – influences from other artists

1. Brian Percival - About a Girl

Female voice-over revealing a terrifying truth about motherhood at the end of the film. This film gives a cold dead feeling inside from the casual yet downcast demeanor as the leading character talks about her dysfunctional life and especially the ending, where the girl is revealed to have secretly miscarried a baby and we see her dump it into the canal (“I’ve become good at hiding things”). Both my film and About A Girl attempt to humanise the female main character outside of their tragedies.

2. Tobe Hooper - director of Poltergeist Paranormal activity centred around past events and the presence of aggrieved spirits. This was a film that made an impact on me from its non-stop tension, even before the presence of the supernatural becomes apparent. Tobe Hooper, ever since creating The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) has achieved many awards, and after this film, it is easy to see why. It also has a similar plot to my initial idea for my film - where a great wrong done in the past creates a ‘haunting’ by aggrieved spirit(s)..

3. Peter Sasdy – Director of The Stone Tape (1972)

The original idea from the film was stones “recording” traumatic events from the past. While the current draft has drifted away from this concept, it still lives on with how Agatha remembers everything about the past as if she died yesterday, despite the superficial veneer of the current day hospital. However, Agatha is a real soul though in my film.

4. David Lynch - Eraserhead, The Elephant Man His black and white films – particularly The Elephant Man In the latter, view of Victorian England shot in black and white featuring cruelty and time-specific sounds, sights and atmospheres. The film always seems to have a sense of foreboding, even when the scene is uneventful, and with a deeply engaging soundtrack. Eraserhead will always always be an influence due to its deliberate disturbing monochrome style, investigation of altered perception and the anxieties of parenthood.

5. James Gardener- Author of: A Complete History Of Brighton Workhouses A detailed and easy-to-understand book centred around the original workhouse in my area. It includes the Brighton General Hospital Site. It helped give a real-life grounding to my supernatural tale.

6. Richard Boden - director of the Blackadder series 4 finale, Goodbyeee The series as a whole has very little to do with my film, but this is a powerful episode whose fade-out ending and closing-sound inspired the cross-dissolve effects and soundscape in my film - coincidentally both are centered with the cruelty of the past and atmospheric sound. Present and past merge at this point. One of the most popular scenes in TV drama/comedy and understandably so too.

7. Piotr Obal – various films and still images Obal is an independent artist who works with art, music and still photography. Occasionally, he teaches youths how to work at the computer like me (!) when he was helping out with an arts award I was studying for. Below is one of his images that has been an influence on me and the film. I love his Photoshop collages and the wonderful images he posts from his native Poland.

                                                        Work by Piotr Obal

8. Nalini Malani- for her immersive installations, ‘disgraced’ women under partiarchy, history and mythology, miscarriages of justice. I found out about Malini when I was writing my essay on her work in the  Diversity module: what started off as just finding out about an artist for the sake of my writing became a long-lasting admiration and inspiration from an artist who not only knows where she is coming from (from her upbringing hugely affected by India and Pakistan’s partition) but willingly sticks her neck out for those oppressed by society and history, and confidently shows her creations to the world. A particularly relevant aspect of her work is her use of the supernatural and mythology stories and myths to highlight aspects of women’s oppression throughout history.

9. Chris Butler- director of ParaNorman A key influence, supposedly aimed at children, I used the same of the spectre in this moving animation, and I was influenced by its themes about the cruelties of humanity and how we “moved on”. The spectre is a ghost of a falsely accused of being a ‘witch’ who wreaks her revenge on those who persecuted her.

It was also a strong influence that is more powerful at its climax and twist. In-depth look at how prejudice destroys lives that are never regained - even  death provides no relief. Butler is a part of Studio Laika, creating animated films that go beyond the norm.

10. Jacqueline Wilson - the writer of the Hetty Feather trilogy and other such Victorian novels such as Clover Moon.

A part of Jacqueline’s writings is her commentary about how unjust the past could be compared to today: even though her protagonists speak in ways that were customary to Victorians, she keeps them relatable the same way she keeps her modern-day protagonists relatable. The writing style of her books inspired certain characteristics of Agatha’s narration, because it was easy to understand yet engaging.

11. David Lean  - Director of Great Expectations (1946) This film, based on the Dickens book,  also brought to mind the cruel period of the Victorian era, and the acting and emotions continued that spirit and my inspiration around my project. I love that it is black and white as well as dialog-centred - I particularly like the formal style of speech - even to express negative emotions- for example:

“Let me point out the topic that in London it is not the custom to put the knife in the mouth for fear of accidents. It's scarcely worth mentioning, Only it's as well to do as others do”.

Miss Havisham, an almost ghostly older woman, in a similar way to Agatha cannot move beyond the terrible wrong done to her - she was left at the alter and devoted her life to training her adopted daughter, Estella, to get revenge on men.I use s similar obsessive, sing-minded hatred to motivate Agatha.

12. Sunset Boulevard (1950)

This film involve a man becoming the object of affection of a former silent movie star, Norma Desmond who overtake his life little by little until she kills him. Norma suffered with the times when silent movies went out of fashion and she is unable to move on, alone in her great house: people told Norma that she had no value and it had an impact on her psyche. She loses all sanity when arrested for killing Joe Gillis as she believes she is back in show business. The film also explores facades; Norma may live a glamorous if not lonely life, but her mental state torments her, like Aggie has with hers as she wanders around the hospital site driven ‘mad’ with grief and anger.  

13. R D Laing: ‘anti-psychiatrist’

'Here was someone explaining madness, showing how the fragmentation of the person was an intelligible response to an intolerable pressure”

Quote from: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/25/rd-laing-aaron-esterson-mental-illness

 In discussing the concept of my film with a member of my family, I was directed to the psychiatrist/anti-psychiatrist, RD Laing. In the 1960’s and early 1970’s Laing wrote about how a person’s so-called ‘mad’ behaviour was in fact intelligible when their entire situation and experience was taken into account. He and other writers (like David Cooper) talked about the concept of the ‘double-bind’ where a person’s opportunity to make a decision to resolve the way they were being treated was blocked – perhaps by a member of their family saying that it was not in their personality to be assertive or angry.

This reminded me very much of Agatha; she tries to express her outrage at the great wrong done to her, but she is judged as unworthy and undeserving, so the wrong is seen as justified and her punishment for being the ‘low-life’ who would have a child and have to live in a workhouse. It is circular – she is treated badly because she deserves to be treated badly and so this means that her hatred and insanity brings the great wrong up herself.

Laing is largely forgotten today, but his ideas resonate with certain ideas in feminism and anti-racism. ‘Gaslighting’ is everywhere, both back then and now.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NnBonXPLJM

[darkacademiablr]

PLEASE STOP SCROLLING. This is important, urgent, and about the the human rights of Filipinos.

Only yesterday, the Anti-terror Bill was signed into law by the Philippine president. If the law is implemented, it practically removes people’s human rights and subjects citizens to more oppression from the government. There are already COUNTLESS forms of economic and governmental oppression present, which you can see through sources below. This law makes our present situation unbearably worse. Nobody is talking about this law on mainstream media outside of the country.

Here is a master list of sources about inequalities in the Philippines, both present and historical. All news articles are in English. Even if you are not Filipino, please still self-educate, REBLOG to spread awareness, and search up ways you can help. Sadly, I am afraid to share links to things such as petitions and donation drives because of the new law. However, I implore you to help one way or another. I know I can count on the academia community to listen and help us. Thank you.

Free Documentaries 

COVID-19 Response: The Atom Araullo Specials: COVID-19: Nang Tumigil Ang Mundo | Full Episode

This documentary is in Filipino but is still useful in understanding Philippine context during the pandemic. Please be prepared to witness the lack of government initiative and the struggles of socioeconomically disadvantaged Filipino citizens. For instance, this documentary includes how workers in the National Capital Region who live in provinces struggle to return to their homes due to poor transportation systems and abrupt government decisions. Regardless of whether or not you are able to understand the language, this documentary sufficiently showcases what is currently taking place in the Philippines in terms of the lack of medical supplies, government aid, and economic preparedness. Moreover, captured are the abuses of power due to Community Quarantine provisions (i.e. public humiliation of curfew-breakers, etc.)

Martial Law in Philippine History: BATAS MILITAR: Martial Law Under President Ferdinand E. Marcos Full Documentary

This is a historical documentary in Filipino. It aims to shed light on the Marcos Regime, wherein uncountable atrocities and abuses took place. This dictatorship is integral to learning about the previous injustices Filipino citizens suffered in the past and what the current Constitution intends to avoid from happening again. 

The Current Regime’s Extrajudicial Killings: Duterte's Drug War (full film) | FRONTLINE

This documentary is in English and has English subtitles. This is still happening today. This documentary depicts brutality on suspected drug users and seller. You will notice that those targeted are often from low socioeconomic classes. In the Philippines, the impoverished are subject to fear of being suspected as a “drug user” or “drug pusher” without their right to due process. There are more news articles on this below.

Education & Poverty (These were not made within the context of COVID-19. However, they contextualize economic inequalities in the Philippines as is, without the pandemic effects just yet. Hence, these documentaries are good for empathizing with citizens and understanding how bad economic inequality is in the Philippines.)

I-Witness: "Iskul Ko, No. 1!," a documentary by Sandra Aguinaldo (full episode) - in Filipino

I-Witness: 'Pag-asa sa Pagbasa,' dokumentaryo ni Kara David (full episode) - in Filipino

Investigative Documentaries: PAAralan (TREADucation) - in Filipino but has English Subtitles

The Philippines' Baby Factory | 101 East - in English

Fallen Angels. True cost of sex tourism: Philippine’s fatherless kids of Angeles City Streetwalkers - in English

Articles on Anti-Terror Bill: Republic Act No. 11479

Duterte signs 'dangerous' anti-terror bill into law - Rapple

Philippines: New Anti-Terrorism Act Endangers Rights …

The Act itself: House Bill - House of Representatives

Human Rights lawyer Diokno tells lawmakers: Focus on COVID-19, not on anti-terror bill

Duterte signs into law the controversial anti-terrorism bill

Anti-terrorism bill problematic even under the best gov't leaders

Bangsamoro leaders urge President Duterte to veto Anti ...

Articles on COVID-19 Response in the Philippines 

COVID-19 Response Budget (read for how funds are gathered)

Where did funds from 2019, 2020 budgets for coronavirus …

Big cuts in infra, education budgets to fund COVID-19 dole ..

TIMELINE: The COVID-19 response money trail

WB sees PH poverty worsening in COVID-19 recession ...

Community Quarantine Abuses 

Philippine Children Face Abuse for Violating COVID-19 Curfew

During coronavirus lockdown: Abused women, children more ...

Child abuse cases triple while PHL cities on Covid-19 lockdown

Rising cases of violence, abuse on women, children noted ...

Elder abuse increased during COVID-19 pandemic — CHR ...

Articles on the Drug War

'Do not be fooled:' Groups say panel probing drug war deaths 'damage control'

Philippines' 'War on Drugs' | Human Rights Watch

Duterte's drug war is wildly popular, despite thousands dead ...

Court verdict: Cops lied, Kian delos Santos helplessly killed

Philippines drug war: Police guilty of murdering Kian Delos ...

UN Rights Council to Investigate Killings in Philippine Drug War

UN Rights Office Criticizes 'Impunity' and 'Systematic' Violence ...

Disclaimer!

Some of these are old and some are new. This should be a starting point for self-education, not the whole picture. I chose these documentaries and articles based on how truthful their depiction is of Philippine issues. I do operate under limitations such as the minimal access to free documentaries and the number of news articles that are as unbiased as they can possibly get. However, I believe there are truths in these sources and it is our responsibility to digest this information as carefully as possible. I did cross-check this information from credible news sources, apart from documentaries which are highly limited as compared to news articles. As a student myself, I do not claim that these sources are perfect. I understand there are still biases and that there could be objective errors. If so, please message me so we can talk and address these errors. These sources were grouped into a master list for the sake of spreading awareness on Philippine issues, so let’s do our best to ensure the quality of this information.

#academia #junkterrorbill #covid-19 #dark academia #movies #movie #article #philippines #urgent #quarantine #covidquarantine #terror bill #junk terror bill now #mass testing now #mass testing now ph #books #news #self-education #student #college #studyblr #petition #donate

[delightful-mystery]

ALIEN: motherhood, masculinity and the original Bechdel Test

“Last film I was able to see was ALIEN”: how does the original marker of the Bechdel test hold up 41 years later?

Alien (1979) is a particularly important film for this blog. As you can see from the comic below, it was the original marker which Alison Bechdel used as an example in her comic, Dykes to Watch Out For, in the episode which pioneered the Bechdel Test (for recap; Alien is therefore a film which includes more than one named female character, and these characters have a conversation together about something other than a man). For its time, the issues surrounding gender that were raised and debated in Alien were pretty forward-thinking and controversial. And, since it is totally up for debate whether the bar has been at all raised since then, I would argue that these issues are still completely relevant in 2020.

Namesake of this blog, Alison Bechdel’s Dykes to Watch out For

Written in its original draft as entirely gender-neutral, all the crew members of Alien were given androgynous names and the bare bones of their personalities were built as gender-blind. It’s an innovative way to make a film, but it is not only this which lends to the film’s excellent portrayal of what it can be like to be a woman growing up under the thumb of patriarchy. As a side note, what’s also worth noting is that it’s confirmed in ALIENS (sequel) that Lambert is in fact a trans woman, confirmed in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment when biographies of the deceased flash up on a screen. This is more used as an extra detail of backstory than a main aspect of the plot, but still, this may be the first appearance of a trans character in a major blockbuster. Gender is both at the forefront and at the core of this film, in its main themes and smallest details in equal measure.

Horror films are fascinating because we can learn so much from them about what a culture fears. From Alien, we can tell that the culture was afraid of… A lot. Technological advancements. The unknown. The idea that we may not be alone in the universe. And, overwhelmingly, birth and the loss of bodily autonomy. What happens when motherhood, something so revered and mystified even now (how many times have you heard the phrase “the miracle of life”?), is perverted and twisted to become something evil and wrong. Pregnancy is twisted into a form of body horror in Alien, something which not even the cis men of the film can escape.

I honestly don’t think you even want this image in higher quality.

Let’s talk about mothers. The two examples of actual mothers we see in this film are the spaceship Nostromo and its AI, actually called Mother, and the alien herself – a character design which actually smacks of some weird combination of both a penis and a walking, dripping vulva. These two characters are inextricably linked by appearance, with the alien hiding in amongst the ship’s crevices and walls at several points throughout the film. The alien is large and unknowable and unfixed; so is the ship (especially during the self destruct section, where nothing is where it should be or behaving in the right way). The alien is wet and slimy (yup, we’re going there), and so is the ship – and all the shafts where the alien lives and moves are profoundly yonic (bandname?).

The two are also linked in their shortcomings. Both examples of motherhood fall short in the expected role of a nurturing maternal figure. Instead we see the ruthless queen bee of an alien species determined to do whatever it takes to help her species survive, and the cold robotic voice of an AI under strict orders that its crew is expendable. The linking of these two characters culminates towards the end of the film where the alien lays its eggs in a room of the ship, and traps the near-death victims of the crew amongst its spawn. It’s a perversion of the children of the ship, in the crew, and the children of the alien, as the eggs laid inside them.

Fear of the unknown in Alien manifests as fear of impregnation and motherhood. Long has horror been an outlet for the maligned genders of society to explore their frustrations, fear and as a way to lend them strength. Motherhood is a subset of this. Motherhood is a subset of the ways in which horror movies provide an outlet for the maligned genders of the world. Women have been able to explore their frustrations, fear and strength in final girls, femme fatales and in this instance, fear of rape, forced impregnation or just fear of forced motherhood in general. Alien provides this outlet to perfection, illustrating the fear of rape and body invasion through its presentation of the invasive nature of the alien and the perversion of motherhood as a whole.

Next let’s discuss masculinity in Alien. Specifically let’s talk about Ash, a manufactured version of masculinity in the form of an undercover android, tasked with making sure the alien life form is brought back to Earth at any cost, including the lives of everyone on board. Ash is the true villain of the piece – more so than the Alien, whose objective is just the survival of her species. It’s interesting to note that this true villain is a manufactured version of masculinity, under the directions of a nameless and faceless corporation, The Company who prioritise scientific advancement over human life. This characterisation means that we have Ripley, a woman, fighting not only against losing control of her body and against being invaded/raped/impregnated by the alien, but also against masculinity itself (and also against corporations. Ridley Scott said down with capitalism) – and also against traditional gender roles and the expectations of motherhood.

And here is a picture of Ripley being attacked and smothered with a literal porn magazine. It’s kind of heavy handed as a gender commentary but in this instance we have no choice but to stan.

So why is this 1979 film still so acclaimed, important and relevant today?

All in all, Alien encompasses many timeless themes. The issues of gender, fear of motherhood and rape are all too relevant now compared to then, and are explored and played out in perfect metaphor. The reproductive rights of people with wombs are still, somehow, under attack. It’s still “men” (or capitalistic robots, lol) widely in charge of these decisions. There’s a known rapist in the white house (at least, there is at time of writing…) Alien is something of a call for solidarity and strength for anyone who has ever felt like their body is not their own, who has ever had their autonomy or physical safety threatened. Oh, and yes, it passes the Bechdel test.

I like that this exists

Thanks for reading!

xo, The Bechdel Bitch

from ALIEN: motherhood, masculinity and the original Bechdel Test

#ALIEN: motherhood #masculinity and the original Bechdel Test #personal #mylife

[bigskydreaming]

A good description. For my part, I don't like talking about it because of my own experiences. I can, however, see Batman, a story where nearly every memorable villain and even the protagonist himself is a Svengali, could attract a disproportionate number of rape apologists, though fandom is full of them. (Oh, hey, that's the other thing with Jason. Talia.)

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear you can relate, and I totally understand not wanting to talk about it. I have no idea what your particular situation is, obviously, but I also want to reiterate since its been awhile since I’ve mentioned this part.....I don’t feel any like....basically, my choice to talk about this stuff is simply put, MY choice, made for my own reasons, that aren’t a reflection on any other survivor. There are a million and one reasons NOT to come forward, or to struggle with it or not to be open about what happened to us, and none of them are a reflection on any of us, but rather the position it puts us in.

Again, I don’t know your situation or what gender you might be or anything else, and this isn’t at all because your ask made me feel defensive or anything like that. This is just something I’ve wanted to put into words for awhile now seems relevant today, and here’s as good a place as any to put it down:

For myself, being a male survivor....like, there’s never really been any getting around the existence of that kinda, idk, caveat that not many male survivors come forward. Sure, we all see the posts and tweets reminding “remember, men can be raped too!” But that’s not the same thing as men sharing their stories and experiences the way far more women have come forward. And that’s why I ultimately began talking about my own experiences in order to express how I felt about my own positioning in society and how as a survivor I interact and am interacted with by others. Because frankly, there wasn’t anywhere else I could really look to in order to see others talking or sharing about similar things and see myself reflected in what they were saying or the experiences they were describing. So, if I couldn’t find what I felt I needed or could have benefited from, I figured at least I could put it out there in case anyone else who could relate could benefit from mine.

Except, ultimately I’ve come to feel that I honestly don’t believe its that men just flat out don’t come forward with their stories or experiences, its that even when we do, we’re rarely signal boosted - as you can kinda see from the fact that I can post the most inane shit and get it to a thousand notes, but in the five plus years I’ve been making posts about this subject, I’m lucky if I can get a single post on the topic to double digits as far as notes go.

People just flat out are a combination of uncomfortable with the novelty of actual discussions about and around male survivors as well as being not really sure how to talk about it because we’ve never really developed the tools for it.

And to be 100% clear, this has NOTHING to do with female survivors, as a point of comparison or ANYTHING else. It drives me up a fucking WALL when people try and compare and contrast even just how much men being raped is talked about vs women being raped, no matter WHAT their reasons are, because I promise people, I PROMISE - NO survivor, of any gender, has EVER benefitted from being pitted against other survivors to ANY degree. Its not a zero sum game and it doesn’t help male survivors to pull shit like “well at least female survivors are acknowledged” because a) eww, and b) nobody asked anyone to say that on our behalf, and c) hyper-visibility isn’t a privilege (or whatever the best parallel to that might be, I’m not trying to appropriate an anti-blackness specific term so much as its the closest comparison I have at the moment for something that isn’t even a matter of marginalized identities but rather marginalized experiences) and d) its COMPLETELY beside the point and actually misses the point by a WIDE margin.

Because what I’ve come to realize over the years, from my own experiences and talking and sharing with survivors of all genders and demographics and walks of life, is that first off....nobody really needs the reminder that hey, men can be raped too. We see it happen all throughout entertainment and other aspects of society, its not an experience that’s hidden away from the light, its just not ever really CALLED what it is, or followed up on, and talked about.

Like Dick Grayson isn’t a statistical outlier in media. Take Horrible Bosses, a summer blockbuster comedy a few years back with a cast of fairly big name comedians, and whose running B plot throughout the whole movie was Jennifer Aniston’s character wanting to rape her employee, Charlie Day’s character. Not only was this not objectionable to audiences in any sizable way, not only did this never really get called out as wtf by critics and reviews, the movie was successful enough to warrant a sequel with even BIGGER names in its cast, like Christopher Pine, and the continuation of the Aniston’s character trying to rape Charlie Day’s subplot. With zero awareness. And its not like that’s the only movie. There’s plenty more I could name.

Or then you’ve got television, where like, take Riverdale, a well-promoted, well known CW show....whose first few episodes featured the lead character Archie in a sexual relationship with his much older female teacher. Except not really a relationship, because that’s textbook, no debate, literal statutory rape.....that ended with Archie’s character being condemned for it as though he were on equal footing with the teacher, who ultimately left town, and it never really acknowledged that he was literally a victim of statutory rape, that any teacher who does that is not an equal partner but a predator. I stopped watching the show for a lot of reasons by like the fourth episode, but I see enough gifs on tumblr to know that several seasons later, this left little enough impact that some kind of Archie-goes-to-jail plotline has resulted in more memes and jokes about prison rape than I can count, and zero awareness that people are compounding jokes about a character who is literally already an unacknowledged survivor.

That’s one. Or you can take Once Upon A Time, a popular ABC show of multiple seasons, and the running subplot where Robin Hood’s character is raped by the Wicked Witch literally the same way Dick was by Mirage in the comics. She shapeshifts into Maid Marian, who ends up dead, and has ‘sex’ with Robin Hood (no, she rapes him) and ends up pregnant. Not only is this never really called what it is, later on, other characters LITERALLY CHEW HIM OUT for objecting to this baby being left in the care of her mother, aka his rapist, and for ‘not being willing to give her the benefit of the doubt/let her change’ as though him not wanting to co-parent with his rapist is no different from any of the show’s other dubious redemption storylines....except for the fact that this particular part of her redemption arc isn’t ever really one she actually needs redeeming for, because nobody ever fucking points out that she literally raped him and he was her victim. Fast forward to the end of the series, Robin Hood’s been dead for seasons, the Wicked Witch is happily redeemed and has a loving wholesome relationship with her daughter, named after Robin Hood like they were some kind of loving, happy family instead of a rapist, her victim, and the child that was born of it.

Or you can take Grimm, a fairly successful NBC show of multiple seasons WHICH LITERALLY DID THE EXACT SAME THING. The main character Nick was raped in season two by the antagonist of the time, who shape shifted into his wife and had ‘sex’ with him, with him not realizing the truth until later on, by which point she’s pregnant with his child. Fast forward to the end of the show, not only was this never really called what it was, his wife’s character was killed off seasons earlier and he is now, get this, ‘happily’ in a romantic and sexual longterm relationship with his rapist (who he by now knows exactly what she did do and what happened between them and just.....got over it without ever actually like, reacting to it)....and oh yeah, not only are they raising the child born of it together, they’ve had a second child since then.

Anyone ever hear much outcry about the male rapes in these shows? And again, like Horrible Bosses, tip of the iceberg. There’s a LOT more shows I could name, just like there are movies.

Or take comics. Its not even just Dick Grayson that’s a survivor. Or Bruce. Or Jason as you pointed out, which......I know a lot of people ignore both Morrison AND Winick’s take on Talia in order to not write her as the rapist she is in their stories, which I can totally understand as she was a well-established character of color for long before either of them got their hands on her and its perfectly valid for people not to want to have to write her as being tarnished as a rapist because two different writers wrote her that way....without.....either of them ever really acknowledging that was literally how they were writing her. I myself write her as a character of complicated and often dubious morality, but never a rapist, for that reason and many others, but its definitely there. And even in a fandom that has never lacked for acknowledgment of Dick being a survivor whose rapists were women.....a LOT of people still romanticize Jason’s ‘relationship’ with Talia as being something other than a grown woman taking advantage of a minor in an extremely vulnerable and compromised state.....with a TON of other takes out there about the two of them, in posts and fics alike, where its somehow danced around or outright called something other than “that time Talia raped Jason in the comics.”

But its not just the Batbooks. Its like how I’ve mentioned in the past, Garth Ennis wrote into one of his storylines that Kyle Rayner was raped when he went to Gotham one time.....not to make it a plot point, but to use it as a JOKE. Or take Marvel comics, Bobby Drake, one of my other all-time favorite characters....who is also a rape survivor of multiple occasions, without it ever acknowledged as such. Like, he was briefly in a relationship with Mystique, who turned out to have entered the relationship under false pretenses, shocking, and who used having sex with him to depower him and take him out of the upcoming fight between the X-Men and the Marauders, which...we don’t have time to unpack all that right now. But fast forward about a year later, and Bobby has since gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend Opal Tanaka.....who, it turns out, is actually just Mystique in disguise, having sex with him again without it ever being called rape since he was consenting to sex with Opal, not the woman who slept with him that one time just to make sure he was helpless to stop a whole lot of people from getting killed. But hey, forget about Mystique! How about that time Chuck Austen wrote him ‘having sex’ with an empath who was EXPLICITLY noted in the narrative as using her powers to manipulate his emotions to even WANT to have sex with her in the first place, and when an issue later it comes out she’s married and her husband starts beating up Bobby for ‘sleeping with his wife’ all the other characters present, all of them friends and teammates of his, condemn Bobby for this without it ever being acknowledged that he was literally manipulated into it by a superpower and he was the victim.

Again. Tip. Of. The. Iceberg.

But you see what I mean? Male rape isn’t an outlier and it isn’t an unknown....its everywhere! Its just.....never called that, really, and never really talked about, even by people who normally would, except for the fact that I don’t think we as a society have ever really forced ourselves to FIND a way to talk about it, because of the fact that like.....the very notion of it threatens and undermines the essence of the patriarchal beliefs that are hammered into us all from day one. Even when we know the patriarchy is crap, we still have so much ingrained in us from early childhood that stuff like this, which is a blatant symptom of it even if not one aimed primarily at disadvantaging women.....like, it slips under the radar because its never fully called out or spotlighted in loud enough or widely enough ways to keep us from overlooking how much its impacted our POVs.

Blatantly put, the patriarchy and sexism RELIES on the idea that men are somehow more powerful/stronger/whatthefuckever than women. And male victims - of abuse as well as rape, though definitely rape.....like, even just a widespread awareness of our existence is enough to kinda destabilize that belief that is so foundational to the patriarchy its DEPENDENT on it being upheld as unassailable truth.

Because if forced to acknowledge that men are just as vulnerable to even something like rape as anyone else in the ‘right’ situations or dynamics, it forces confrontation with the reality that no matter what the patriarchy has claimed for as long as its existed.....men aren’t inherently any more powerful, or stronger, or resistant to harm/humiliation/VICTIMIZATION as anyone else.

And the patriarchy flat out can’t afford that confrontation, so it can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors.

Again, just want to be beyond clear - nowhere here am I okay with making this about a compare and contrast between the experiences and interactions society has with male survivors and around male rape, and the same with female survivors and rape. Because I mean, we all should be more than aware that society as a whole sucks at the acknowledgment, addressing and handling of rape in any context, in any of the ways it comes up as a topic, in terms of any survivor who comes forward no matter who or when or how.....like. We suck at this topic, and at any and all discussions about this topic. Period. Flat out. So when I say the patriarchy can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors, I am in no way aiming to diminish the reality that it does just as fucking an abyssmal job at acknowledging and responding to female survivors....the point here is not the poor reception any and all survivors receive to disclosing their experiences in our society, but rather the specific why of this when it comes to male survivors just as the particular subject of focus here.

And again, like, my only credentials here are just like. My life experiences, lol. I’m not trying to claim anything more or other than that, make no mistake. I’m a literal college drop out, this is not the result of comprehensive studies or vetted by the scientific method. This is literally just “like, my opinion, man” and makes no pretenses at being other than that. Its just the conclusions I’ve formed over the years and why, completely anecdotal and not aiming to be any kind of authoritative or expert viewpoint with my personal take here. Largely because I haven’t really found anywhere that I feel the conversation has proceeded enough in earnest that its even at a point that would ALLOW for that yet. So this is all more just.....my feel of things, and why, as just kinda idk, hopefully a starting point for further ACTUAL exploration of all this. My attempts at starting the kind of conversation I feel we need to be having in order to be at all productive instead of just constantly spinning around in circles, which is what it so often feels like.

So when I say I think the patriarchy can’t honestly AFFORD to acknowledge male survivors specifically, I’m not positing some grand conspiracy or active cover-up.

Because nothing like that is even necessary.

Its built into the framework of the system itself. Its not that I believe anyone goes out of their way to “hide” male survivors from anyone, I’m saying there’s no need. Because its been so ingrained into us from such a young age and in so many ways, most of us never even think to question whether anything is even being hidden, or if its just as simple as, well men don’t really come forward, because their pride and self-esteem is so impacted by what happened to them, due to the expectations heaped on men by the patriarchy.

Its kinda stunning, actually. Even while ACKNOWLEDGING that the patriarchy does impact male survivors in ways as well, we’re kinda....led away from the ACTUAL ways and ACTUAL reasons why....because despite literally calling the patriarchy out as the bad guy in this way, it still manages to weasel itself out of this confrontation by virtue of the fact that you can’t ever really effectively address a problem when you’re being misdirected to a tangent that’s not really the REAL problem that needs addressing.

So personally, I’m of the belief that its not that men just don’t ever really come forward. Its that even when some do, like myself, we can scream our heads off for years and it just echoes into the void, because its not being heard in the ways we need to be heard in order to effectively....signalboost our stories and experiences and needs. Much like I just mentioned above, its misdirection......everybody’s too focused on addressing an issue that doesn’t actually NEED solving (ie, reminding everyone/promoting awareness that men too, CAN be raped), and thus at least feeling productive, feeling like they’re contributing to tackling the problem.....that meanwhile, the ACTUAL problem (men CAN be raped too, and are, and here are men talking about it only for the signal to get lost and fizzle out rather than get boosted)....it flies right under the radar.

Because in line with what I said earlier about how it does no good to compare our experiences, both in terms of assault and our lives in the aftermath, with women survivors - its because its apples and oranges.

Rape isn’t a gendered issue, because it can happen to anyone of any gender, at any time....its situational. Dependent on context. Rape culture, however, IS a gendered issue.

Because rape culture, how our society INTERACTS with the very idea of abuse and rape and its victims and perpetrators....spills out entirely from that core foundation of the patriarchy and sexism, and thus much like those things themselves, how it affects women survivors is always going to be totally different from how it affects men who are survivors. Our experiences are not interchangeable - that has nothing to do with being better or worse, more publicized or less, etc, etc. They just....manifest different ways. The cause of our trauma-related problems might be the same thing, but the problems it creates for us are not, and none of us can ever really benefit from it being treated as a one size fits all kinda deal, nor is it to our benefit to treat it like there’s only so much conversation about the topic available to go around.

What I mean here is, like I said, the patriarchy at the foundation of our society can’t afford for it to be widely acknowledged that men can be victimized too.

But it can’t actually stop this from happening, given that its basis for saying it never happens is an inherent uneven-ness that only exists because it made it exist, not because like....we’re innately born uneven.

So....it had to come up with a narrative, a response, for when men DID step forward and say hey, I too was abused. I was raped. Etc.

And it did.

As a result, a lot of women don’t come forward because they fear not being believed, with reason. And this is true for a lot of men as well, just as the following is true for a lot of women too....

Which is that IMO the bigger reason/more immediate reason a lot of men don’t come forward, is that our concern isn’t so much that we won’t be believed....

Its that we will be believed, but rather than this getting us the help we need or the justice we ask for, it only ever really creates more problems for us, due to the patriarchy’s go-to fix-it job for this situation:

Paint the male victim as being not so much a victim as a victimizer-in-training.

See, the lie that men are innately more powerful, stronger, more ‘deserving’ of being in charge can’t afford the admittance than men are also vulnerable, can be victimized, taken advantage of.....

But it CAN afford the idea that men can be abused/raped/etc with this going on to eventually result in us becoming abusers/rapists/victimizers ourselves in the future, as long as THIS is kept the clear focus and emphasis of the narrative.

Because after all, there’s nothing in the idea that we all inevitably take out our pain (whatever it may come from) on others that contradicts the idea that we’re stronger, more powerful, etc.

And its not like the patriarchy and its supporters give a shit if this throws even other men under the bus, because the only thing institutions and systems of power actually care about is POWER.

They’re not our friend, even if in a different life, we could have ended up wielding more of that power than we do in this one. Even if we do in other aspects of our lives gain social and other forms of power more easily/with less obstacles than other people.

They only care what we can do for them, to spread that power, perpetuate it, preserve it....so just like white supremacy will happily screw over poor white people and America doesn’t give a shit about its prison population and the LGBTQ+ community so often ignores the issues of its members of color and so on.....the patriarchy is more than willing to make male survivors from any and all groups and communities take the hit it has no intention of taking by letting it be confirmed its built on sand and bullshit.

So just as much as we’re ingrained from early childhood with the idea that men can’t be victimized the way others can, the linked lesson we’re taught is that men who have been hurt badly or in certain ways will almost certainly end up hurting others.....

With the implicit acknowledgment that there was just an admittance that we can be hurt badly/in certain ways ending up just swiftly glossed over. As the focus is instead kept on the harm done to our hypothetical future victims.

Because the easiest way to keep someone from being sympathetic, is to give people someone else to sympathize with MORE. To give people reason to feel a person doesn’t even deserve your sympathy in the first place.

And so now think about not how often we see men victimized by abuse and rape in media, or how often we see men portrayed as survivors and yes, victims of these things.....

Think instead of how often in media we see men who victimize others, who are the antagonists, the villains, the serial killer/rapist/abuser of the week.......and with it offhandedly being dropped into a scene and then never really focused on again, that these men were almost always said to have been abused or raped or victimized in the past....and this is the REASON for why they all ended up doing what they did.

Suddenly, the numbers go up, don’t they? The second you think about it from THAT angle?

Its just....the reason that angle literally exists to the extent it does in society and the messages we’re fed, the entertainment we’re given.....is because that’s the POINT.

Because its natural for us not to think of any of those men as victims when by the time we find that part out, we’ve already internalized our view of them as victimizers, and solidly put our sympathies with their victims in the present. Because what was done to them in the past doesn’t excuse what they do to others in the present. Being hurt doesn’t give you carte blanche to hurt others. We all know this. Hence....WHY IT WORKS.

Except, this isn’t actually a reflection of reality. The myth of the perpetual cycle of abuse is just that, a myth. Oh, it happens, certainly. With men, with women, quite probably more often with men than women, not much doubt about that....

But its not that it happens, we’re told. That’s not the issue here.

Its that we’re pretty much told it ALWAYS happens. Its always GOING to happen. That there’s no real point in sympathizing with a male victim who is most likely going to end up victimizing someone else in the future and thus he’s not really gonna deserve your sympathy at that point, will he? Which makes him not really worth wasting it on him in the first place. Makes it easy to come up with something to focus on more instead of his story or experiences, something just as deserving of your focus or sympathy, but that you’re less likely to end up regretting in the future like you would if a male survivor you sympathized with now ends up in the news five years down the line for having hurt someone else.

Because over centuries and generations the idea of male survivors at all has been cultivated into having this almost mythic quality, there’s just enough subtle feeling of wrongness around the very idea of it, like, that it just doesn’t quite make sense...that it ends up being almost a relief to give our minds a reason, an explanation for why they don’t have to come up with a way to adjust the paradigm there, to make room for that idea, realign a worldview into one where there’s a specific spot for male survivors much like any other subject that needs focusing on or evaluating for whatever reason.

And this point, this conclusion that no matter how tragic what happened to make a male survivor was, it will only ever ultimately end up in the same spot, with him later on passing along the harm, a warped kind of paying it forward....this is hammered home over and over. We see it everywhere, without even often realizing what it is we’re seeing and internalizing, like with the examples I cited of all the times men are raped in entertainment without it being called that. Its the flip side of that....the times that men are raped in entertainment with it being called that, but swiftly moved past that to introduce the reason not to care that that’s what it was we just saw.

And thus throughout several seasons of Law & Order: SVU we’ve had male survivors, usually teens, who at first seemed eminently sympathetic for what had been done to them.....but who by the end of the episodes, ended up becoming school shooters exacting revenge on their bullies. Or ended up killing the coach who raped them in high school and then went on to rape a dozen others. Or in the last scene of the episode is found kneeling over their abusive father’s corpse with blood on their hands and the detectives standing over them in sadness that now they had to take the boy they thought was the victim away to jail as the victimizer he didn’t have to end up becoming.

Except.....he only becomes that because they make the choice to write him becoming it! Every single time!

Like in 13 Reasons Why, where another male survivor ends up....another school shooter. Or in Criminal Minds, where pretty much every single killer throughout the series ended up with a backstory of abuse and rape and victimization as a child, making it ‘all the more tragic’ and with the protagonists often literally using the phrase “almost like the guy never had a chance.”

Well no, they didn’t. Not when it was written to BE that way.

And then we see the idea root and take hold in audiences. And spread and perpetuated. Validated.

Its why I hate the woobification thing in fandoms, where fans of (white) villain characters fill in their backstory for themselves with all the REASONS they are the way they are, and with the reasons never being that they’re just a sadistic entitled asshole, but because they were hurt. They were abused as a child, they were raped offscreen, the heroes said mean things about them in the burn book once and that’s why they just had to kill the hero’s whole family, see.

And everything comes full circle.....not only is it that all male victims are destined to end up victimizers....its equally true that all male victimizers must have once been male victims. Even if we didn’t see it onscreen or on the page.

Except, and why I loathe that fandom tendency.....

THAT NARRATIVE IS NOT AN INEVITABILITY AND NEVER WAS! The end point and point of origin presented there are NOT innately set in stone!

And all that does is just validate and accept as truth the LIE that patriarchal society puts forth in order to play smoke and mirrors with this one specific facet of human experiences that innately possesses the potential to destabilize the lie at the very rock bottom foundation of everything the patriarchy’s ever built at everyone else’s expense. The reason it offers up for why its not only allowable, its for the best that we look elsewhere from any male victims that actually step forward and say hey, can you all listen to me for a second, I want to tell you what happened to me.

And the fun irony of THIS aspect of things is if you think this woobification fandom thing benefits male survivors as a whole in some way or another, like the tendency of fans to find even villainous victimizers sympathetic means that they can and do sympathize just as much with actual male victims.....I’m fairly certain it doesn’t.

See, because with villains in fandom......this retroactive sympathy for imagined past traumas happens to only the characters that fandom has already decided they liked DESPITE the awful things they’ve done. Its made up to be used as an excuse instead of an explanation....

And like we all know damn well, even if we don’t always admit it or like to acknowledge it....

Explanations are not actually excuses. The harm you do can not be wiped away by the harm done to you.

So, because that’s still inside of us, our awareness of that, even if its ignored on the surface while defending hot white villains or whatever.....it doesn’t actually give anyone reason to ignore the narrative our society constructs around actual male survivors who it encourages people to condemn or ignore on the basis of purely hypothetical FUTURE abuses or wrongdoings.

And after all, you can’t actually decide you can look past the harms a person enacts and still view them as sympathetic if....you don’t actually know yet what those harms are going to end up being and thus whether you can make your peace with them, can you?

You just know that harms WILL be done, so....might as well err on the side of caution and assume they won’t be forgivable when deciding here and now to be thrifty with sympathies and spread any actionable effort taken on behalf of survivors in areas where those sympathies are more likely to be put to better use.

And yeah, all of this plays into why I focus so much on certain aspects of Dick’s narratives, and they usually AREN’T the rapes themselves.

Because for me, for many other male survivors I know......

Acknowledging those happened, examining how he felt when those happened....its not the biggest issue. Just like in our own lives, having it acknowledged or known what was done to us, having to face how it made us feel....that’s not really our primary concern.

Its what happens AFTER that.

How people view us and treat us AFTER their initial sympathies, whatever they are, dry up - which, we’re given reason to believe, they always inevitably will.

Because it isn’t all that different from what I frequently complain of happening with Dick in fandom, and hell, its WHY it bothers me so much, because its literally been a recurrent theme throughout my life:

The most widely acknowledged male survivor in comics, just also happens to coincidentally be....

The character most often spun as having a wicked temper, being almost irrationally angry at times, with his temper being likened to things like an eruption, an earthquake, a NATURAL DISASTER....something to be avoided at all costs, something the other characters fear, with good reason, but also impossible to avoid, because its too intrinsic to his nature. Its an inevitability. Dick Grayson WILL erupt or explode again at some point, and its going to be ugly. Like he’s a time bomb.

Even though....as I frequently go in depth on.....Dick’s never actually been shown as having particularly poor self-control either on just its own merits or specifically in comparison to others. He doesn’t really actually HAVE a track record of taking out his own hurts on others. On giving people REASON to be afraid of his temper even while they continue to take no responsibility for giving him reasons to be angry at all.

Its why I so often emphasize the discrepancy between the fact that whatever someone’s own personal character preferences, the FACT remains that Dick Grayson is the character in this family that most often bears the BRUNT of everyone ELSE’S anger.......just as the fact equally remains that Dick Grayson is still ultimately the character most often singled out in posts and headcanons and fanfics as unleashing his temper on others in unjustifable ways and usually without actual provocation.

None of this is a coincidence to me.

Its how we see over and over again that its okay for Dick Grayson to be angry FOR others, ON others’ behalf....its just when he’s angry FOR HIMSELF, for being taken advantage of, ignored, walked all over or mistreated....that’s when his anger is unjustified. Irrational.

Dangerous.

Or you guys know that one fanon about how Dick forces his hugs on his siblings, and his displays of physical affection are often unwanted, and thus violations?

Yeah, that one hits me right in the Issues too, because again, that’s not remotely supported by anything in canon....there has NEVER been an instance of Dick’s family asking him to cut it our or feeling like......IMPOSED upon because he likes to hug his family.

Its not to say people can’t feel that way about even well-meaning displays of physical affection that aren’t cleared with them first....

Its that this is something that people had to DECIDE to make a thing with Dick and his family. To actually craft the narrative that the many-times victim of unwanted touching was effectively violating his family’s wishes and boundaries every time he hugs them without being asked or invited to.

With that number being however many times a writer wants to write him doing when highlighting it as a violation.

And is this a thing we really see with any other character? Is my question there. How often do you see literally any other character being chewed out or resented for....hugging?

Just the one character most known for giving physical affection freely with his FAMILY and close friends.....

Who just so happens to also be the one character most often the guy who has his bodily autonomy violated.

The canon rape survivor has literally had HUGS weaponzed against him.

With the end result being.....every time he does it, every time this pings on a reader’s radar as Bad and Unwelcome....the linked takeaway is its one more reason for that reader to then ask themselves....well if he doesn’t care whether other people want him touching them, why should I care when he doesn’t want people touching him either?

Which ultimately just winds up another form of: why should I feel bad if bad things happened to someone who isn’t really that great of a person?

See what I mean?

Its all connected. Its not me getting frustrated with a bunch of different random things, its all the same thing at the end of the day, all so often traceable back to the same places.

I couldn’t untangle myself from so much of this and how it impacts me and my view of things even if I wanted to, to such an extent that in the end, want really has very little to do with it.

(And uh, you think those bug the shit out of me, let me tell you about just the very SIGHT of all those fics where Dick the widely acknowledged, perhaps best known male rape victim in comics.....is a rapist himself. Because yeah....even if people like to keep their incest light and fluffy or sweet instead of predatory, to someone who is y’know, personally familiar with all of this, Dick and ANY of his younger brothers is never going to appear as anything BUT predatory. As yet one more time where the linear journey of a male survivor all the way to the final evolution into male predator is born out and treated as so matter-of-fact, so inevitable, it hardly warrants noting as anything especially obscene or gross to write about a character famous for his survivor status. And its not like Dick is actually the only character in the franchise I like, so its not like its any better when its Jason painted as the aggressor in a fic, for instance....and while I will always be hugely critical of how Bruce is written as abusive in canon, that’s a wildly different thing from sexually preying on his sons so again, seeing him as his own sons’ rapists is yet again more upsetting than most people would think without connecting Bruce’s own status as a canon rape survivor, whether we like that story or not.....and plugging it into again, this pre-programmed route traveling from survivor to predator, over and over again. Victim to victimizer. Like clockwork.)

Anyway, my point is not to harp on this but rather to just lay it out there in this way. And how it plays into so much of my own personal approach to dealing with all of this when it comes up.......because the simple fact is I have to, there is no opt-out lol, and it comes up a lot, in large part because its so easy t reframe as being something else that most people who don’t have direct experience being directly impacted by all of this in its various myriad expressions are understandably not going to see it pinging on their radar and getting logged into their awareness the way it always does in mine.

*Shrugs* It is what it is. Its there. Avoiding it has never done me any favors, so.......as I so often demonstrate in a variety of degrees of Hmm Probably Coulda Done That Better, lol, I try and deal with things head-on and adjust as needed.

Easier said than done, not always pulled off, never any guarantee that I’m going about things the right way, just that like.....

There’s problems that need addressing that stem from all of this, and I know where mine lie and put a lot, a LOT of effort into addressing them and keeping an eye on them and not letting them get the better of me.

But the flipside of paying that close attention and that much means I’m also keenly aware of when and where I couldn’t take responsibility even if I wanted to, because the responsibility literally just isn’t mine to take....because yeah, I live in a society but guess what, so does everyone else, and its the same damn society, so  at the end of the day, no matter HOW well or not I go about handling the matter of my rapes and their overall impact and shaping of my life.....that’s just me handling the rape part of things.

The rape culture? And how THAT affects and informs every survivor’s life in whatever way it does going forward?

That’s kinda.....only ever going to be improved upon or not, on like....a cultural scale. That’s a society thing. Not a survivor thing.

Because we are all shaped by our cultures, every aspect of our cultures, and this one is unfortunately no different. But, its shaped by us too.

But to actually shape it INTO something, or more accurately, to shape it into LESS of what it is, blunt some of its edges, lessen some of its ability to do harm to survivors, to compound the harm already done.....

Something like THAT requires intent. Conscious effort.

And intent requires like....first being able to SEE what problems need addressing.

And that’s kiiiiinda the whole point of survivors coming forward when so rarely, so MINUTELY does it EVER result in actionable justice for that individual survivor.

And I don’t for a second believe a single one ever believes or assumes otherwise.

Cuz its super not fun. It never like......I don’t fucking know how it looks to other people, tbh, because I’ve literally been a survivor since before I even really knew that I was being abused or molested, that there was something I was surviving....but trust me, I’ve thought about it, I’ve wondered, and I don’t know if like, people think a survivor ‘telling their story’ is somehow an equivalent of like, getting a book deal or something, there’s the attention it brings after all, and isn’t there that saying that no publicity is bad publicity.....

LOL. Yeah. Umm. Just saying, if you don’t have personal experience as a survivor having come forward or shared openly about your experiences, let me refer you to another saying as counterpoint: Don’t believe everything you hear.

Cuz that’s definitely not one anyone else ever forgets when ‘listening’ to any of us.

Anyway, wrapping this up by bringing it back to like.....my extremely evident mood and irration of this past week.....this is ALL connected, this is ALL part and parcel of every single time this comes up as an issue for me and its never less of one at one time than it is at another, its never a little easier this time because this reason or that....its always the same damn frustration every single time. Stuff like this doesn’t get doled out in manageable portions, its all or nothing. Its either a problem right this current second or its not, and if its not, that’s only until the next time its a problem again, likely sooner rather than later.

And that’s the part that makes me talk about this as much as I do, and get as frustrated as I do when people just do not seem to get.....

I don’t have an off switch on this matter because there IS no off switch for me. The times I get frustrated and vent about this stuff are actually only at MOST a TENTH of how often it rears its head for me to deal with.....the times my reactions or responses boil over into public view, into something you guys see, or ‘have to deal with’ are literally just the times where there is no keeping a lid on it because the pot was already full to start with.

And so it really. Epically. Beyoooooond doesn’t help matters, when despite being the only male survivor I’m aware of being consistently vocal on the matter in the only fandom I know of where a prominant male character is almost universally acknowledged as a survivor....

I usually only ever hear the response:

“Mmmmmm, I’m not really sure what makes you think there’s a problem here and that it has anything to do with us, when see, I don’t agree, and I don’t really see why you think your opinion on the matter of how this particular character is written about and viewed and depicted interacting with others and how fandom interacts with him, is like.....of any kind of real relevance? This is just like....your opinion, man.”

Me: ........have I ever claimed for a second it wasn’t? Didn’t I use those exact words at least once in all of this already?

fahsklhfaklhflakfhalffha

Cuz for the record, ultimately, that’s what this all boils down to. I’ve wanted to post about this stuff for awhile now, but make no mistake:

It literally is all just my opinion? Formed of my own personal experiences and the conclusions I’ve taken away from them. Laid out as fully and extensively as I can manage, specifically SO people can take all of that into context when deciding for themselves how much weight or not to GIVE my opinion......

In which case, y’know, the experiences I have with this matter and how they correlate to these opinions, like, have contextual relevance and seem necessary to include.

Its NOT because I’m trying to use them to browbeat everyone into agreeing with me because I think I’m the only one whose opinion matters here, lol.

No. Just that like....it DOES matter? And its kinda exhausting when people act like all of this is arbitrary and abstract to me, that its some kind of superiority complex or me moralizing from a pulpit or some shit when I’m literally saying none of it is abstract or arbitrary to me, and the louder I say that, the more people THEN say “oh so basically your opinion is the only one that matters here unless we disclose the same kind of experiences or background huh?”

*headdesk*

I just.....it seems my stance is either born of self-righteousness and nothing personal whatsoever....unless I make enough of a fuss about how that’s NOT true, in which case my stance is that apparently I think I’m the only one who is allowed to have an opinion here because I’ve made such a point about it being personal.

But its definitely not that people are just determined to invalidate anything I have to say on this subject one way or another, right?

Anyway.

So all of that’s like...whatever that was. Make of it what you guys will, but I do hope that at least for some people whom it might be a new perspective or new information to, you’ll consider asking why is it that in a fandom that prominently features a canon male survivor whose survivorhood is so frequently denoted as a key and critical part of his character....someone like me, who is frequently cited as a resource on many, many other kinds of meta about Dick Grayson......seems to have more people interested in discouraging me from ever expounding on my own experiences in this matter and any correlations I see between those and Dick’s experiences and narratives, than there are people interested in like......utilizing me as the freaking resource on male survivor experiences and viewpoints that I’ve literally been out here offering to be from day one....specifically BECAUSE of how rarely men are viewed as coming forward and being open about our shit here.

*Shrugs*

Just food for thought.

#rape cw

[nakouwolf]

The Real Key

Okay, so this is a short fanfic inspired by the events happening during the episode “Race to the Spire” (so don’t read it if you haven’t seen it yet, what are you even doing there? x)). The “mysterious ghost girl” said something and I had something else in mind for the whole episode so I needed to write it down XD Just before the end of the series tomorrow (Whyyyyy T.T!?), I thought it was a cool alternate ending for Cassunzel fans.

It hasn’t been proof-readed so there might be tense mistakes and things like that, I just hope everything makes sense. Don’t be afraid to let me know if it’s not the case!

And by the way, no, I haven’t forgotten you, I still need to translate the 6 remaining parts of The Alchemy of the Heart, I will! Someday... Hopefully... x)!

--------------

Cassandra was staring at the wall, frustrated. That unbearable Calliope just did a magic trick preventing her from reaching the precious item which could have allowed her to control the Brotherhood… That item which rightfully belonged to her!

The ghost who accompanied her, for her part, was still smiling.

-And it looks like we’re gonna need that key after all…

-Calliope sent it to Rapunzel, answered the young woman, clenching her fists. And something tells me that she won’t just hand it over to us.

-To us ? No. But we may have other methods at our disposal…

------------------

Rapunzel just get back from the Snuggly Duckling tavern, thoughtful. The night gives advices, she has been told, running to Calliope whereas she had sent her the key to protect wasn’t a choice without consequences, nor the ideal option. However, the big heart of the princess was dictating her to run to the rescue of the guardian of all those precious relics, especially considering how her message was unfinished… Why was she so worried about the person who’s been able to get the most on her nerves, by the way ? Her kind heart would be her doom someday… And what Cassandra could be looking for out there ? What was she up to ? What was the purpose of that item ?

The princess rolled the key between her fingers, putting her arm against the cold window of her bedroom as she was looking at the horizon, the sun setting slowly. As peaceful as the sight could be, her mind was upset… Cassandra.

Rapunzel knew the saying "one can only realize how precious is something when you lose it". She’s always been skeptical towards it, realizing how lucky she was to have her family, the man who loves her, precious friends, and she was beaming with happiness just as the sun she was stem from but… she was realizing today how much that saying was real ; she was realizing how valuable was the thing she lose… Cassandra.

The princess sighted. Was there still a hope of reconciliation after the clash that happened between them ? She really hoped for. She couldn’t get rid of her lady-in-waiting. She couldn’t resign herself to accept that loss. Her friend was still there, somewhere, she knew it. And she loved her. Probably more than she was supposed to… Cassandra.

She sighted her name with an heavy heart when suddenly someone knocked at the door. The princess pulled away her arm against which her forehead was resting from the window, to turn to the stranger who was slightly opening the door, adventuring in her room. No one but Eugene and Cassandra would dare doing such a thing without her permission, so she wasn’t surprised to discover Eugene bringing her a little cupcake with a smirk.

-I think someone ordered a cupcake ?

She answered with a comforted smile, even though she wasn’t fully comforted.

-Ah, Eugene, that’s adorable. 

-Are you alright ? Inquired the future prince, worried. 

-I’ve known better days, she just answered with a tiny smile, taking the plate from the ex-thief hands to go back to sit to her window.

There was a silence before she admitted :

-I miss Cassandra.

Eugene shivered. He wasn’t expecting that, so he walked to the window, sit in front of Rapunzel, put a hand on her shoulder and said with his most comforting voice :

-Hey, hey, it’s normal. And if you need to talk about it, know that I’m here. I’ve always sense she was a time bomb but…

Seeing Rapunzel scowling at him, he hastened to add :

-… But there is a way to prevent her from exploding ! If you gave me that key, Raps—blondie, I’ll hide it somewhere she would never find! I’m a thief, after all. And the best one there is, futhermore. She will never think you entrust me the key !

Rapunzel looked away, as she seemed to be thinking about that proposition. It was far from a stupid solution, but she refused to put him in danger. Not again. And if he really wanted that key, he could still steal it himself instead of waiting for her to give it to him. Frowning, the princess was considering the proposition in silence before looking at him with a little smile, caressing his cheek from her fingertips.

-Thank you for being there, Eugene, and proposing solutions, it means a lot, but… I won’t hide that key. Tomorrow, we’ll go meet them.

Eugene seemed destabilized, probably by what she just announced, or by her delicate hand on his cheek. He stuttered a little his answer before regaining his composure :

-A-alright, as you wish, princess.

He stood up, walked towards the door, stopped in the middle of the room before turning back to the princess and adding :

-I just thought I could help with what I do best – finding a good hideout for the object, exasperating Cassandra… I respect your decision, blondie, but perhaps you should left that key here so that it won’t end up in their hands… ? I think that--

Rapunzel just stood up to reassure Eugene who seemed to doubt his role in the story. Before he could finish his sentence, she had taken his hands and kissed him tenderly… But the princess frown during that kiss, feeling it was different. Maybe it was because Eugene wasn’t expecting it, maybe it was because he was talking, but she felt something was really different. Stronger.

The young man didn’t react right away, frozen by the lips brushing against his. When his brain was finally able to process the information, he stepped back, tripped over the cape he was wearing, tearing it off his back… and the most incredible thing happened : Rapunzel was face-to-face with Cassandra.

------------------

-C-Cassandra?! 

She couldn’t believe her eyes. Was she dreaming ?! The cape ! The cape allowed her to take Eugene’s appearance in order to trick out the key without having to fight ! That’s why she felt something was different ! Something stronger than anything she had ever felt before…

The young moonstone woman stepped back, realizing her identity has been revealed in broad daylight. She glanced at the door, guessing that the castle was swarming with guards and that she couldn’t escape without causing new damages, what she didn’t want to do. She considered jumping out of the window, but Rapunzel took her hands, freezing her once more.

-Cassandra, you don’t have to flee, please, listen to me.

Shocked, incapable of thinking nor pronouncing any word after the way the events have gone by so fast and what she felt, Cassandra just looked at the princess while she was brushing the stone above her heart, her hand brushing along her shoulder to touch her cheek again, even more delicately than she did earlier. Her emerald eyes dived into hers with a tenderness she’s never seen before while she simply murmured :

-I love you.

And without any more word, she closed the distance separating their lips to unite them in a delicate kiss, charged with a love she had ignored so far. Cassandra felt all the bitterness she had, all her walls, break into pieces. The kiss was short, but it seemed like an eternity to her as she was realizing at the same time all the mistakes she had done, feeling her tense muscles, after the discovering of her identity, finally simmer down. When Rapunzel stepped back, Cassandra looked at her with glimmering eyes, not understanding what just happened, stunned by the turn of events. She clearly hadn’t imagine that. She blinked, trying to analyze the situation, while the princess took her delicately in her arms, squeezing her softly against her heart… And Cassandra just gave up the fight. She fell to her knees, the princess accompanying her in her fall, and squeezed the girl she loved with all her heart in her arms aswell.

That’s when she felt it. The moonstone started to glow with a new beam, a blue light, cracking the armor it had created for her, whereas Rapunzel was glowing with a light comparable to the sunlight. The magic operating was surprising and a bit painful, but the two young women just tightened their grip on each other to face it. Soon, the silence prevailed again in the room while the moon was rising outside. When they finally parted to look at each other, Rapunzel had regained her short hair and Cassandra was back to her normal appearance. By reflex, she put a hand to her heart, finding the moonstone in pieces. Things were back to normal, she probably had lost her powers, but would the people of Corona forgive her for her wrong ?

Rapunzel squeezed her again in her arms, tighter this time, too relieved to have her back with her to let her think about anyone else. It was just them, Rapunzel and Cassandra, and the rest of the world didn’t matter anymore. She needed her. She would make sure the rest of the world would forgive her. She loved her.

Cassandra wrapped her arms around the princess waist, burying her face in her shoulder, letting a tear escaped on her cheek.

She’d been there, all that time.

She’d finally found it.

Her destiny.

#cassunzel #tangled the series #tts #rta #rapunzel's tangled adventure #cassandra #rapunzel #fanfic #nakouwolf

[vipervisionsart]

So here it begins...

I don't blog often anymore. Online journaling... and who's to know who's reading? Too many people say it's best to journal, or write, about ones daily life and activities. It can help some stay grounded or recollect what was once forgotten. I used to use Tumblr a lot. So much so to the point I got a good following on my personal blog. I got scared people I know would read it, so I deleted everything. I wish I didn't.

After I got hit with teargas canisters and flashbangs, I decided to quit healthcare, again. This would be the second time I've made this decision. There is a reason for it and I'm just not seeing it yet. I love healthcare and taking care of patients, however, I just don't believe that lifestyle is the right fit for me. The workload comparative to the pay is so trash and there are points where my depression gets in the way and nothing is fulfilling anymore. 

Then I come out of a really bad depressive episode and I almost have to force myself to find something fulfilling in healthcare. I don't get the same adrenaline rush I used to get. 

The performing arts and visual arts though, no matter how depressed I am, I can always participate in those kinds of activities and feel full. It doesn't matter what, who, when, where, or how. That's where my heart is...

I used to tell my ex all the time "just follow your heart and the money will come" because perusing your passions will earn you the greatest reward of all time. Everything is always what one makes of it, and if one is passionate about something all that hard work will never be for nothing. It just needs to be applied strategically. It's easier to do so when one's heart lies within it. I believe...

I really believed my heart was in healthcare... and maybe a good chunk of it is. That's why it will remain my backup plan... if pursing art, music, and dance doesn’t bring me success.

___________________________________________________________

I’ve been getting courted. There is one in particular I’m rather fond of. He’s not usually my type. Stepping out of my comfort zone has added on a different kind of happiness. I feel respected by him in a way, though his nature is possessive I understand that those tendencies are just signals of affection. I wouldn’t claim him to be different than most, though he does stand out slightly. There is a lot he has to offer. I appreciate that he listens, or at the very least pretends to, it makes me feel heard... but I also know that his “forgetful”ness will also cause a large downfall should important information--pertinent to my nature and dynamic--gets lost or thrown out of his ears and mind. He has made no mistakes thus far. It’s almost been 3 months. 

There is another one who I am not so fond of. Though he seems almost obsessive towards me. This nature I can pinpoint as sort of a reoccurring act. I am not the only one, nor will it ever be so. He offers me financial support and gifts. In exchange he would like to believe he is the only person I focus on. Attachment issues. Narcissism. Ego. He doesn’t listen, nor respect the emotional and mental boundaries I have set forth. He is persistent; annoyingly so. It has been almost 4 months. The farthest he’s gotten is a hug. 

I’ve been waiting for the first one to make a move at me romantically, but so far it seems his only prerogative is to have me as company and to boost his self-esteem towards women when he makes me cum. We still haven’t had sex. We did have a conversation last night, where he confessed to being nervous and probably a quick fuck. He didn’t have condoms, though Monday night I saw 6 in his nightstand and there was an attempt to use one, but the lack of exclusivity made me not so compelled to question anything. I told him “you can increase your sexual stamina by any means necessary and I wouldn’t mind a bit” to see if his mind would drift into seeing other people. He thought I was talking about jerking off. I repeated it again and added “and if you’re down, I’d like to watch” and I believe he got the point then.

There was no objections. 

Men will do whatever they want to do. My main belief is to communicate ones wants and needs upfront and allow them to chose how to handle that information and what actions they feel they want to take. This has been my philosophy for quite some time. Though, admittedly, I did lapse and fall into a toxic frame of mind during my time with my ex. The worst of me was brought out, instead of the best, and at that point I knew it was something I had to distance myself from. I never want to be that kind of woman again.

I have a lot to offer and I am worth more than diamonds. It will take the right person to realize that.

_______________________________________________________________

I had a good day today. My morning started off extremely slow and confusing. I was lost and stuck and did not know what to do. My depression is in full fledge and I am doing my best to fight through it. I’ve been planning a head of time, because I’m starting to get the sense of when these episodes will happen, and in turn I’ve been creating schedules in my calendar app to plan my days when I get stuck as I did this morning. Now it’s a matter of having the willpower to stick to schedule or allow my depression to consume me. I will not allow my depression to consume me, but rather be a tool to my success. My depression is a tool to my success.

I went to dance practice and winged the combo we were meant to create and teach on the fly and I believe I did pretty well. The other trainee, did exceptional. I like him and I want to be his friend. 

After dance, I felt invigorated. I was able to fold and put away my laundry and tidy up a bit. Off schedule but things were still done! All progress is good progress. Tomorrow, I am hoping to stay on schedule and perhaps get more things done. Towels need to be washed and the floors vacuumed and mopped and I need to get started on producing my music. 

My ex’s friend, still hesitant to call him my friend when I speak of him to others, has been a great help in getting me started with my music. I am waiting for my second option to gift me a studio recording kit so I am able to finally get some tracks down. I want my music to be composed, produced, and so forth originally and solely by me. There is a specific sound I want and I don’t like sharing with others my internal feelings because that’s basically what my music is. This is part of my soul communicating with the world. She has been dying to. 

_____________________________________________________________

I’m finally becoming tired enough now to sleep. Rest well, all. I love you. 

I hate sleeping alone. I hate small beds. I hate sleeping on the couch. 

I am ready for a place of my own. Somewhere I can call my home. I am ready. I am willing. I will have all that I wish for.

All the negative energy towards me and/or sent to me will be reflected back to it’s sender. I send the sender light energy to change their way of thinking. I wish ill on no one. Therefore no one should wish ill upon me. May the sender understand balance.

I miss skating.

[greenjacketwhitehatdocmui]

Susan Ivanova or Amilyn Holdo as a Strong Character?

    When it comes to strong female characters, I have to admit a bias:  I much prefer Susan Ivanova from Babylon 5 as an example of a strong character than Amilyn Holdo.  And I am perfectly willing to admit that this is patently unfair of me to even make this comparison.  But if you’re willing to follow my reasoning and read the rest of this, I think you’ll find that I have an interesting perspective in this matter.  

    When it comes to depth of character determined from onscreen appearances, Ivanova has the advantage.  After all, Ivanova had four seasons of characterization and development.  Holdo only had one appearance.  I’ve placed this limit because someone, somewhere out there will cite “Leia, Princess of Alderaan” as being a major exploration of Holdo’s character.

    (Yes, Babylon 5 had its ancillary novels. However, only a few are truly relevant to the main plot.  You don’t need them, but they’re nice to have around.  The Leia novel, on the other hand, is de rigeur if you wanted to know ANYTHING about Holdo, bar a Wookiepedia entry.)

    On a related note, let’s compare the emotional range of these two women.  By this, I mean that I am not comparing the acting range of Claudia Christian vs. Laura Dern.  I am merely pointing out the emotions we see onscreen.

    It’s obvious that Holdo is under a great deal of pressure.  She cannot afford to let anything show.  As far as she knows, the Resistance could live or die on her decisions.  So, she decides to play it close to the vest. She has no problems expressing sarcasm and anger, especially to Poe.  For most of the movie, she seems to be this stiff martinet.  It's only when Leia has returned to duty that Holdo shows a softer side, even a grudging admiration for Poe.  We then see her aghast as her evacuation plan fails, followed by her resolve to ram the Raddus.

    In contrast, Ivanova is more open to showing her emotions.  We have seen her cynical side ("no boom today, boom tomorrow.  There's always a boom tomorrow."), her sarcasm, her joy and her heartbreak.  I daresay that she shows a wider range of emotion than Holdo does--but that's primarily because she has more of an opportunity to do so.  There's no question that when she's on duty, she's in charge.  But there is no moment where we don't see her expressing herself.  She could be frustrated at the squabbling of diplomats. She could be terrified at the prospect that the Psi-Corps would discover her secret, that she's a low-level telepath. She can be funny as well, ranging from a quick quip to the infamous "sex for humans" scene.  And, of course, there's the cold anger she exudes when taking on a hopeless battle with advanced destroyers.

    (Mind you, for being a no-nonsense officer, she can be quite kind.  Delenn and Vir have come to her for advice.  She's the one who tells Dr. Franklin to stop pushing himself so hard. She cares, but don't mistake that for weakness.)

    When it comes to situational awareness, Ivanova has the advantage.  She is the type who prefers to keep appraised on everything that happens on Babylon 5. This is obviously not an easy task, but she finds out the Rangers—who were, at the time, meeting clandestinely. She even states to Captain Sheridan that if she doesn’t know what’s going on onboard Babylon 5, it's time to worry. She, along with the rest of the command crew, decisively end a mutiny with crewmembers sympathetic to NightWatch. This is in no small part to her keeping her eyes and ears open for trouble.  After all, in her words, “there’s always a boom tomorrow.”

    In contrast, Holdo was caught unaware on several occasions.  First, she did not have all unnecessary communications cut and thus, did not notice that Finn and Rose had contacted Maz on the sly.  Second, she did not notice that Finn and Rose had launched a shuttle without authorization on their doomed errand to Canto Bight.  Third, she wasn’t aware of the crew’s morale after her initial speech—or discounted it and Poe.  The atmosphere of resentment and despair was such that half the crew mutinied. It was only through Leia’s intervention that it didn’t go further.  But the thing is, this should never have gotten that far in the first place, had Holdo been more aware and careful with her words.

    To be fair, Ivanova's tactics are based off of wit, directed force and sheer determination.  She simply will NOT give up until the objective is reached or she dies. In contrast, Holdo's retreat strategy does take into account the dwindling resources available to the Resistance.

    Let’s talk representation.  If you look on social media, some would ship Holdo with Leia. Given the obvious bond they share in the screen time they share, it’s easy to think that there might have been something more than friendship—at least, in the eyes of the shippers.  It’s been implied heavily that Holdo is bisexual, though that doesn’t get mentioned in the film.

    Ivanova is a canon bisexual.  She had a relationship with Talia Winters before the big twist.  She even admitted to Delenn that she loved Talia.  She was falling for Marcus Cole before his final sacrifice.  Lucky in love?  No.  

    (It should be noted that JMS did not announce this prior to any episode airing.  Considering the thought patterns of the network executives, he thought that it was best to set it up for those who could see what he'd intended.  When people asked, he confirmed it.)

    So, with all these obvious advantages, the question remains:  Why do people idolize Holdo so much when Ivanova has more to her in just about every category?  Well, the fact is that Holdo is a far more recent addition to the geek collective consciousness than Ivanova.  It certainly doesn't help that Babylon 5 is over 25 years old as of this writing and is limited in distribution, no thanks to certain network executives.  Star Wars, on the other hand, is far more ingrained and has the 800 pound gorilla of marketing, Disney, behind it.

    I look forward to people's opinions on this matter.  I still think that if you want a strong female character, Ivanova is a better example than Holdo.  But I do welcome discussion.

#babylon 5 #star wars #susan ivanova #amilyn holdo

[watchingspn-blog]

spn rewatch | the woman in white (pilot)

Okay so I can safely say I’ve seen the pilot episode at least half a dozen times, if not more. I got season one on DVD for my 14th birthday (which I 100% binged with my BFF at the time to the point where we were beyond exhausted for my actual birthday festivities the next day) and would watch over and over in the days before Netflix. So for me the first couple of seasons are way more familiar to me than the later seasons. Especially since at some point after I started college when I didn’t have as easy access to television and streaming services weren’t quite what they are today I fell off the bandwagon. Pretty much everything I know about the show from mid-season eight onwards comes from gif sets on Tumblr and the occasional Facebook posts. Which brings me to this rewatch/first time viewing. 

It’s easily been at least three or four years since I’ve watched the pilot but it’s still so familiar to me which I feel like says a lot for the show. Or just says that I was way too obsessed with this show as a teenager. But anyway, here we go.

First of all, I don’t know about anyone else but I’m honestly a little weirded out by seeing JDM looking younger and not having a beard. Like it’s strange to me and I don’t know how to feel about it and I’m glad this is the only scene where he looks like this. The beard does him wonders in all walks of life and I’m glad it’s a look he’s stuck with in just about everything he’s in these days. (Also you can totally see one of JDM’s tattoos under the sleeve of his t-shirt and it just makes me want to headcanon John with a couple tattoos from his time in the service despite looking so clean cut when they have the flashbacks with Matt Cohen.)

Secondly, I want to know when they came up with the backstory that Mary was a hunter and came from a family of hunters and that she’d been in that life before she settled down with John. Because I feel like if that backstory had been mapped out before the pilot her reactions when she woke up to the baby monitor would be more suspicious. But that could also be me just being too picky. Like it’s totally valid that Mary, just waking up didn’t pick up on the static or the flickering lights. I just want to know if they’d had her history in mind when this started or if that came up later once they’d developed the story and characters more. 

Okay, so I don’t have any major attachments to Jess, mainly because we just don’t spend enough time with her. She’s got a whole three (?) scenes where she’s mostly delegated to the supportive girlfriend who’s also over-sexualized. Like they seriously chose to introduce a female character and have all of her outfits be revealing to the point where other characters are commenting on it before killing her. Like I have no issues with female characters wearing whatever the fuck they want, there’s nothing wrong with that. But it wasn’t given any more depth than “here’s this sexual object for our audience to look at” and that’s what bugs me. But I am glad that they showed her being genuinely concerned when Sam is packing like wanting to make sure he’s okay and make sure he’s not doing something reckless for people who’ve actively avoided being in his life over the last few years. She’s incredibly supportive of Sam and it makes me happy that he had that in his life even if I do hate that it was taken away in a horribly gruesome way.

Adrianne Palicki is just ridiculously talented and deserves way more recognition than she’s gotten over the years. 

Now, I’m gonna be real. I was a Dean girl from the get go. I loved me a smartass bad boy when I was thirteen and I was head over heels for Jensen Ackles from the first time I saw this show (probably because I’d never seen him anything else before but I already knew Jared as Dean from Gilmore Girls who wasn’t my favorite as a middle schooler). It also probably doesn’t hurt that I saw an episode of season two as my first intro to the show instead of the pilot. Because honestly, watching his first scene as a 26 year old, he doesn’t come off in the best light. Between breaking into Sam’s apartment, their whole tussle in the dark living room, and then him hitting on Jess right in front of Sam, he’s kind of an ass. Which yes, Dean is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. All of these characters are fucked up, especially after fourteen seasons and counting. But this just doesn’t line up with how Dean is in the rest of season one even, I feel like. 

Like Dean telling Jess that she’s way out of Sam’s league is one thing. I expect nothing less from him. But then him just being creepy and ogling her is just uncomfortable to watch now. 

Also the lighting budget for the entire first season is just horrendous. It’s like they wanted to show that they were scary and edgy but really it just meant I couldn’t make out what was happening in any scene that didn’t take place in broad daylight. 

Okay, on to the spooks. Having a woman in white for the first MOTW (monster of the week) was kind of cool to me because it was something I actually knew about before the show, thanks to reading any and every book on ghosts my school library had to offer. And Sarah Shahi is super gorgeous. Like hot damn. And as cheesy as some of the effects are in the earlier episodes, I actually like the way that she kind of flickers in and out along the side of the road as Troy’s driving up and then the way you don’t actually see her in the passenger seat when it shows her getting in. None of the effects are too crazy over the top (at least not until the very end of the episode when she finally goes home and has that weird as fuck death scene with her creepy kids) and it works.

As a thirteen year old, I thought it was totally believable that Sam and Dean could be US marshals and the local cops were just being jerks. As a twenty-six year old, the idea that those two could pass as any kind of law enforcement other than like maybe a couple of rookie cops is ridiculous. I’m the same age that Dean was at the start of the show and I’ve got people assuming I’m still in high school. I couldn’t get past the crime scene tape for anything. But I guess if you’re confident enough and tall enough, anything’s possible. Also as if they didn’t already look hella conspicuous, they act like a couple of five year olds with all their stomping and smacking, like no wonder the cops were suspicious. 

Also can we take a moment to appreciate the awesome mid-2000s goth look Amy and her friend are rocking? Because it’s fantastic and I’m here for it. Also kudos to them for being the only women to make it to the end of the episode alive. 

I never really thought about it when I was younger but it’s not surprising that Sam isn’t as gung ho about hunting down the demon that killed Mary like John and Dean are. His memories of Mary are entirely built on stories and pictures and not from anything he actually remembers himself. And like it’s totally valid for him to want to get away from the hunter lifestyle and follow a different path instead of just killing monsters and running credit card scams for the rest of his life. 

All I can think about when they break into the room John was renting is that gif of Charlie from Always Sunny with all the papers and strings on the walls. 

One of the better aspects of Supernatural, in my opinion, are the actors they get to randomly guest star on the show. And not necessarily big names (although those can be fun) but like the ones that you’ve never seen anywhere else. Because the guy who plays Joseph Welch is fantastic in his one scene on screen. There’s so much emotion there as he’s talking about a clearly sensitive subject and being able to show the grief and also some of the guilt over being unfaithful. It’s a fantastic scene so like major shoutout to Steve Railsback for being awesome.

The whole showdown with Constance’s ghost is kind of like mediocre compared to future fights. Like it’s a pretty quick scene and the effects once they actually get her to the house to face her creepy children are kind of the worst. Like they used their whole special effects budget doing that flickering thing in her first scene and had to settle for this instead. Also like yes they stopped her and she won’t be able to kidnap and kill skeezy men in the future but like I feel kind of bad for Amy and Troy’s family because they’re just left with zero closure whatsoever. Like I never thought about it but there are a lot of people over the years where it’s like yes we stopped the monster but those families never actually know what happened to their loved ones. 

Okay, I get that it’s supposed to be a serious, intense scene, and the first time I saw it - yes it was shocking and heartbreaking and terrifying but the effects for Jess’s appearance on the ceiling are just bad. She doesn’t look like a person, she looks like a mannequin. And I’m still annoyed that they brought her in and showed how much her and Sam loved and cared for each other only to kill her horribly at the end of the episode. It’s just frustrating. And honestly this should’ve warned all of us that pretty much no female character is safe on this show. None of them. 

The “we’ve got work to do” at the end is still hella iconic. Like there’s a couple of lines that still give me that little excitement I got when I first watched it and that’s one of them. I love it. 

BODY COUNT: 3 humans (Mary Winchester, Troy Squire, Jessica Moore), 1 ghost (Constance Welch - do her kids count too? They didn’t really show up until was time for Constance to like melt into the floor all creepy like)

RATING: 7/10 - the effects are kind of garbage and there’s some stuff that hasn’t aged well but I still think this is one of the better pilots I’ve seen as far as getting you hooked into the story and characters. 

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural rewatch #watchingspn #idk if anyone's going to read this but if you do thank you #and if you want to talk about the show pls hit me up #i'd love to talk with others about it #spnrewatch*

[gaygoetia]

The Sexist Patterns of Leadership in GoT

Note: This post includes heavy sarcasm. I'm aware that sarcasm is hard for some people to pick up on, especially in written text, so I will bold all the sarcastic parts for clarity.

EDIT: I wrote this late last night and realised this morning that Jon being heir makes sense with the line of succession and isn’t just because he’s a dude. So bear that in mind when reading this because there will be some mistakes. 

I noticed last episode that there’s actually a bunch of parallels between Dany and Cersei and that honestly when you compare how they’re portrayed it creates kind of a sexist picture of how GoT view female rulers.

Last episode painted a clear picture of how the show wants us to perceive the current situation.

Both Cersei and Dany are unstable mad women who will bring ruin to Westeros and cause thousands of innocent lives to be lost in the process.

The right choice for the throne is clearly Jon. He doesn’t want to be king but that makes him the best choice right? Who needs passion for what you do when you have the cold unbiased logic of resenting all your responsibilities?

Luckily for us, Westeros’ sexist inheritance laws declare that Jon is the true heir anyway. *Phew* If that gets out we won’t need to worry about those hysterical women! Everyone will automatically rally around Jon because he has that all important penis (which as we all know is the part of the body responsible for rational decision making)

For real though. Jon is apparently weak willed and easily manipulated enough to just go along with whatever Dany wants but somehow that isn’t framed as a flaw on his part? No, instead it’s Dany’s fault for being “too strong” for him and “bending him to her will” with her womanly wiles.

But enough about Jon (for now)

Let’s talk about Dany and Cersei.

Their stories are both very much rooted in their experiences as women in a highly sexist society. They start with very little agency and climb their way up to positions of power. And it’s a much harder climb than it would be for any male character because they’re being intensely scrutinised every step of the way. They’re treated as children or sex objects or political pawns or baby making factories. They’re talked down to and harassed and abused. They’re called ‘whores’ and ‘bitches’ and ‘sluts’ just for daring to be women in positions of authority - or hell just daring to be women (cos it’s not like any woman in the show is spared from that kind of language)

So how to they get to those positions of power? Well it’s mainly by losing everything they love. Dany becomes the ruler or the Dothraki when her husband and child are killed. Cersei becomes Queen once she has lost her husband and all three of her children.

Not that it was easy for them by any means. The deaths of their husbands and children (dragons included) were a necessity for them to have even a chance of ruling but actually getting to that point took immense time, effort, strategy and sacrifice.

And that kind of sums up the problem with the women in power of Game of Thrones. If they want power they must sacrifice everything they care about to get it (in ways that just aren’t true of the male characters)

Furthermore they have to sacrifice traditionally feminine attributes like empathy and compassion as well as the feminine ideals of motherhood and romantic love.

Hell, this episode Sansa suggested that in some way she was grateful for the abuse, rape and torture she suffered at the hands of Littlefinger and Ramsay because if it hadn’t happened she would “still be a little bird”. It is a reference to The Hound’s nickname for her in King’s Landing and it evokes the image of someone delicate, innocent and pretty - again, traditionally feminine attributes. It is implied that Sansa’s trauma has strengthened her and that without it she couldn’t be the well-respected, capable leader she is today. Needless to say, this is a pretty fucked up way to perceive both trauma and female leadership.

There are no secret benefits to trauma. While it can cause people to grow and change in positive ways it is in no way a necessary evil required for self improvement, and to show it as such is deeply harmful. Neither abusers or their victims should be taught that victims should be grateful for the abuse they’ve suffered.

But I digress. My point is that Sansa had to sacrifice her innocence in order to gain agency and a position of authority. She was raped and abused by her husband and manipulated and abused by a man who claimed to love her; a man she trusted. Through these experiences she lost all the idealised notions she’d once had about marriage and romance. She went from open and trusting to bitter and cynical. And though their deaths were certainly deserved, her murder of Ramsay and Littlefinger marked a significant and darker change in her once very pacifistic character.

Even ignoring all of the abuse and neglect she suffered during her marriage to Robert, Cersei was only able to sit on the Iron Throne by sacrificing all of her children and it looks like Dany will have to pay the same price in order to succeed.

These two women, while far from flawless rulers themselves, have faced adversity at every turn in their quest for agency. Meanwhile everyone is just desperate to put Jon in a position of authority despite him continuously fucking up.

For example: Jon is democratically elected to be Commander of the Night’s Watch - and it goes so well that he gets assassinated by his own people. Then he is inexplicably voted by the Northern people to be King in the North... and immediately bends the knee to a foreign queen who implies she’ll happily let her dragons eat them all.

Wow what a great leader. Turns out those sexist inheritance laws were right all along. Thank God they’re in place or the throne could have gone to *shudders* a “strong woman”

Seriously though. Twice now Jon has been elected into a position of power that he doesn’t really want and immediately turned everyone against him by making incredibly unpopular decisions. This is the guy who’s apparently the perfect choice to rule seven kingdoms? He can’t even keep one happy!

Say what you want about Cersei and Dany but they have fought tooth and nail for everything they have and at great cost. Jon has faced his share of losses and hardships too but when it comes to positions of power, Jon has had everything pretty much handed to him.

So what message are we left with?

“Work hard for years, sacrifice everything you love and then maybe - just maybe you’ll get the authority you desire... only to be replaced by someone who didn’t try at all and doesn’t even want it”

It’s a depressing message as it is but it’s even more depressing when we take a step back and consider its gendered implications.

Think of the female rulers we’ve seen in Game of Thrones. Dany, Cersei and Ellaria all gained power at the cost of their children’s lives (and those of their lovers in the case of Dany and Ellaria) Olenna’s scheming to get Margaery on the throne led to the death of all the other Tyrells, wiping out her entire line. 

Every time women in Game of Thrones try to claim power they are narratively punished for it and for what? To show that the person best suited to rule is the white guy those outdated sexist laws always said would be?

And of course none of this is even touching on how racism and homophobia intersect with sexism on this show but other people have talked about that more eloquently than me and if I tried to go into it here this post would end up novel length. TLDR; GoT punishes female characters for daring to want agency in a patriarchal society while encouraging us to root for the enforcement of sexist and outdated inheritance laws.

#long post #ramble #got #got spoilers #sexism #got s8 e4 #got meta #my posts