Tumgik
#so she'll probably be like uh no
Text
Dick + not getting phone calls
1. Bruce makes Jason Robin (Batman 416)
Tumblr media
Dick: "It was quite a kick for me to learn about the new Robin in the newspapers."
2. Jason dies (New Titans 55)
Tumblr media
Dick: "Bruce never called to tell me what happened to Jason. He didn’t know I was half-way across the universe, but he didn’t even leave a message on my machine. If Danny hadn’t found out... Blast him. Why didn’t he call me?"
3. Bruce picks Jean-Paul Valley as the next Batman (Robin 13)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dick: "You left Tim alone with a lunatic. The kid could have been killed." Bruce: "There wasn't time." Dick: "No time to pick up a phone? No time to call me? ... I thought there was one guy who'd have faith in me. But when it comes down to the test, you picked someone else to succeed you."
4. Alfred quits after Bruce's back gets broken in Knightfall (Nightwing: Alfred's Return)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dick: "Bruce didn't send me. I came because I'd like to know why the guy who's been like a father to me suddenly upped and split without a word! Because my best friend has been gone for months - the Bahamas, Antarctica, England - and I didn't even get a call! Not even a postcard!"
5. Donna's son dies (Teen Titans Vol. 2 12)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Wally: "Man, Dick, I'm sorry! I thought for sure she would have called you!" Dick: "Robbie was her world. Why didn't she call? I could have helped. I would have... I'd do anything for her..."
6. Wally's wife miscarries and...it's complicated, but for the purposes of this list you just need to know that he didn't tell Dick or ask him for help (Flash 210)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dick: "What I said earlier, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. You're my best friend. You have been since we were kids. And after everything you went through, I just wish I was the one you came to for help - instead of Hal."
#dick ''JUST CALL ME AND ASK FOR HELP DAMN IT'' grayson#also dick: *does not pick up his phone when roy keeps calling after donna dies*#*tries to hide and then straight-up run away from tim in the aftermath of blockbuster*#dick grayson#anyway the wally plotline is something else flash comics are bonkers you guys#at wally's 1st wedding his wife gets kidnapped & everyone forgets she exists#later they remember and have an impromptu second wedding!#another time he got replaced by a different Flash from another dimension#and that Flash pretended to be him for a while and was in the Titans and it unnerved Dick who wasn't sure if Wally set it up on purpose#you might be thinking ''come on Dick - Wally would never do that''- but wellllll /probably/ he wouldn't but it's hard to say#after Linda miscarries Wally gets the Specter to mindwipe his secret ID from everybody#but then uh oh Wally forgot too! - but then he remembers! - so he tells Linda so she'll remember!#so she's understandably kinda freaked-out that he messed with her mind albeit w good intentions and she needs some space#and then Wally goes and reminds Clark who he is and then reminds Dick who he is#anyway i feel like Dick's frustration with him here is very legit and so is Linda's though in Wally's defense#he was extremely upset by the Zoom-attack-induced miscarriage#and going to the Specter for help is not *quite* as dumb as it sounds because the Specter used to be the hero Hal Jordan#and Hal Jordan was buddies with Barry Allen the previous Flash#anyway later on there's time chaos and the miscarried twins get born after all!!#so it all works out in the end#anyway my conclusion is that if you had the misfortune to become a speedster you just gotta get used to zany adventures#hoc scripsi
451 notes · View notes
seawitchkaraoke · 1 year
Text
no y’all don’t get it, the reason Jenna doesn’t connect the dots and figures out that Leverage is secretly being her guardian angels is that the dots connect to make an absolutely ridiculous picture!
Like! She’s very smart and very willing to throw herself into risky situations to do what she thinks is right and I love her, but no matter how clever you are “a bunch of super thieves/vigilantes are also trying to take this guy down and are now secretly helping me by making a bunch of random but not that incredibly unlikely shit happen” is just. like. c’mon. if you say you’d figure that out while in a ridiculously stressful situation in which you constantly put yourself at risk of worst case getting raped and best case losing your job and possibly getting sued, you’re lying.
Yeah the team’s cons are obvious to us! bc we know them! but normal ppl don’t connect “venue shut down bc food poisoning” and “randomly found a singer at a completely different venue” and “there was a fire alarm” bc all those things can in fact happen, for them all to happen in quick succession is random and lucky but it’s not “omg someone is spying on me and??? giving me?????? things i need?”
123 notes · View notes
faunandfloraas · 2 months
Text
theres almost always radio playing in my house and my mother tends to leave it on the abc which has a lot of interviews/call in segments and good Christ the woman who hosts it annoys me because she /actually/ doesn't listen. There's been numerous times in an interview where the person will say something clearly and directly and then she will essentially ask what they just said and its so funny bc pretty frequently they'll pause for a second and its like you can just tell they're going ?? I just said that am i meant to repeat it ? and its like well if you paid me to sit in an air conditioned studio I would actually listen to the people im interviewing but thats just me <3
5 notes · View notes
proteuus · 2 years
Text
I want to train someone at work so bad I want a trainee they would be my little pet
12 notes · View notes
gummywyrmtrainer · 1 year
Text
Tanis has a friend named Kalypso, Kal for short, belonging to another player, and he can create custom pokeballs! She has him make custom pokeball shells for all of her pokemon, and I designed a couple of them!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
For Dustdevil and Progenitus! Originally in normal pokeballs, respectively.
2 notes · View notes
thisbardhasadhd · 6 months
Text
Sometimes I'm minding my own business downstairs and Lula will sneak up behind me and growl and I'll turn around and see she has a toy in her mouth and she's looking at me like "CHASE ME"
0 notes
wheucto · 1 year
Text
test tube reads fanfiction...
1 note · View note
wolfisblank · 1 year
Text
Man.
0 notes
critterbitter · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
It’s everybody’s favorite lantern! Ingo's partner pokemon's very chaos incorporated. Inspired by the very enthusiastic asks in my inbox, which I’ll be responding to under this cut ;0 Wanna see more? Check out this submas masterlist.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
@euos-the-cat AAA thank you! I took one look at that waxy gremlin and thought "huh. I can do something with this."
@eventhetiniestbugs Yo. YO. HEADCANNON ACCEPTED. Litwick really is sort of a beatrice, isn't she? Being Ingo (and in part, Emmet's) unwilling guide. Reluctant friend. Best found family.
@answrs Thanks!!! I love sneasler and I need to draw her more. It wasn't on purpose, but it seems I've accidentally wrote myself into a Sort Of chronological posting (oops!) But sneasler WILL appear later (hopefully BEFORE my hyperfixation fizzles out haha)
@raynavan AhHEhEHEHEH. I usually don't dabble with too much angst, but yeah. On the plus side, uh, more chandelure emmet interactions! On the down side, well.
Tumblr media
@blueisquitetired You learn to like rice. It's a staple in your diet, and while you may think its bland and boring, it becomes something you can always rely on during meal time when things get dicey. Or, well. It was.
@moothebloo ...DEFINITELY SAVING THAT FOR LATER. CHANDELURE ANGRY SHARPIE BROWS LETS GOO. (Idk if you're into rottmnt, but uh that's some donnie behaviors that I definitely approve of.)
@gender-nuteral-nut-boy First of all, amazing user name. you get all the gender. second of all (points at picture) she's doing finnee! She's doing So Great. Don't Worry About It. ((She has emmet, and later the gear station, and even later maybe even elesa. But Ingo's Hers, and that's a wound that can't be easily staunched.)) @ghostlykryptonitenight Ah,, you see, your first mistake is thinking she'll Remember. : )
Head cannon: ghost pokemon are not a direct reincarnation of a dead soul, and are more like… say, the mold that grows from a coffee mug left out for too long. But they have fragments of memories and dreams of cherished ones. Chandelure knows Ingo’s alive thanks to their bond. She vaguely knows her propagator probably knew Ingo’s identical great uncle or something. But those pieces don’t really connect until Emmet’s research, and she’s tired and faded and the simple act of trying hurts.
(She would leap through space and time for ingo. Chandelure and Emmet would do anything to get their muppet back, even if it means to salt the earth and unearth gods.)
3K notes · View notes
shotmrmiller · 2 months
Text
this is just another pathetic!simon blurb. Not the second part to this. unedited.
Johnny is Simon's wingman.
One quiet evening, Johnny sits you on the bed and asks you if you'd do Simon a solid.
"A favor is me washing his clothes, or making him breakfast, Johnny! Not sucking him off!"
He is completely undeterred by your reaction and just grasps your hand to press a kiss on it. "Ach, dinnae be like that." He's out of his fucking mind, you think, and you move to walk away when he blocks the exit with his body.
"Bonnie. Just hear me out. Ghost, err, Simon, he's lonely. He's a big man, with an oppressive air about 'em, aye? His stare is unnerving to say the least. Lasses run for the hills when they see em— if they aren't frozen in place with terror."
You can feel your soft heart crack because Simon is so sweet, so kind— how can anyone be afraid of him? and that's what you tell Johnny.
He tightens his lips into a firm, white line to keep from telling you that the Simon you think is just so sweet, has shoved his tactical knife in between the ribs of his enemies remorselessly, and breaks their necks without a second thought. He snuffs out life as if it were the only thing he was good at.
"Aye, bonnie. He's not very good when it comes to lasses. He can be intense, and not a lot of people can handle that," Johnny kisses the palm of your hand, "But not ye— yer good at handling intense." And then he says the most pitiful thing you've heard. "It's been decades since someone's touched him willingly."
Johnny's eyes glow as he physically sees you give in, and you've barely given your assent when he's bolting out the bedroom door.
With a shaky exhale, you get up and start to change into something more comfortable. You're probably gonna be on your knees for a while.
--
You gape once you see Simon pull out his manhood. "Er...How are you, uh- what?"
Simon's cock is huge. Monstrous, even. It's so heavy it doesn't even stand erect— just falls downward. He's so thick, you don't think you can even wrap your hand around it. His balls hang low— full and would overflow your hand if you cupped them.
At least he trims.
Simon took his mask off for this, so when you look up at him through your lashes, his cheeks are ruddy, and he's nervously biting his bottom lip.
In a comforting gesture, you extend your hand and take his hand in yours, applying gentle pressure to his curled fingers, coaxing him to let go of the tension.
"Relax, Simon. You're alright. Nothing I can't handle."
Johnny is watching you proudly as he sits next to Simon on the edge of the mattress.
"Aye, LT. She'll treat ye right, wont ye bonnie?"
You nod, and shuffle closer, to be inches from Simon's length.
"I've got you. Just feel, hm?" Slowly and deliberately, you interlace your fingers with Simon's. "I'm gonna start now, okay?"
Sticking your tongue out, you tentatively lick his slit, tasting the leaking pre-cum, and swirl your tongue around his head. When you encase your lips around his tip, his hot, salty seed is instantly coating your tongue.
You let go of his hand to wrap it around him and pump as you bob your head, helping him ride out his orgasm. The moment you feel him stop twitching in your hand, you pull away and are about to swallow— only for Simon to lean down and slant his lips over yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth. He curls it around yours, completely uncaring that he's tasting himself.
He breaks the kiss and licks his cum and your saliva from the corner of his lips.
Johnny laughs as he reaches down to wipe the mess left behind with his thumb.
"That was a filthy kiss, wasn't it bonnie?" and then he turns his attention to Simon, murmuring into his ear loud enough for you to hear. "How was Bonnie's mouth, LT? Was it like ye hoped? Her slick tongue against your slit? I bet it felt heavenly."
You don't know if it's the thought of your lips wrapped around him, or if it's Johnny so close to Simon's ear that his lips graze the shell of his ear, but Simon's length stirs, rising to half-mast.
It's been 2 minutes, and he's ready to go again.
--
Simon must've gotten more comfortable, or his mind is simply hazy with lust, because the moment you put him into your mouth, he harshly thrusts into you, blocking off your air and triggering your gag reflex.
The hurck you choked out was unattractive and thank goodness Johnny was here because his reaction was almost instantaneous.
"Ghost, no— ye cannae do that, aye? Yer much too large for her, have tae take it slow," and chuckles. "Otherwise, she might bite."
Simon speaks for the first time that evening. "I don' mind a little teeth."
Johnny cackles. "Whether ye like it or nae, ye have tae be considerate. Let her work ye, she knows what she's doin'."
You stick him in your mouth again, and this time flatten your tongue as you go as deep as you can, and curl it to drag along the thick vein on the underside of his cock when you pull back.
Johnny hisses and asks Simon if it feels good. If the tip of your tongue is snagging on the ridge of his flared head— if it feels like your throat wants to swallow him whole.
Simon's ears are red, and he's panting harshly as he jerkily nods at what Johnny's saying, never looking away from you as you work him into another peak.
He comes with a snarl when you cup his balls, and a fingernail scrapes the thin, sensitive skin of his perineum.
Johnny coos at Simon, "Oh, that must've been delicious, the way her fingers stroke ye. The way her throat closes up around ye when ye push a little too far."
Simon spurts more cum onto your tongue when he hears that.
--
You've been on your knees for what felt like hours, and Simon comes for the fifth time that night when you slightly pinch the tender skin of his head with your teeth.
This time, Simon grabs himself to come over your face— viscous, globs of cum over your eyes and nose. He taps his cock on your cheek, a sticky slapping noise resonating in the room.
--
You sit with your eyes closed and hear someone get up and walk toward the bathroom, hopefully to get you a bloody towel, when you feel a strong, wet tongue drag across your cheekbone.
"Gross, Simon."
"Nae, bonnie, it's really not that bad. Otherwise, ye widnae have swallowed most of everythin' LT gave ye."
"Gross, Johnny."
@pieckyghost i aint finna get locked up again!
2K notes · View notes
strawb3rrystar · 1 month
Note
I got very sad with "Hazbin Hotel characters longing for you."
(┬┬﹏┬┬)
so you could do their reaction to I love you or us wanting to get back to them.
\( ̄︶ ̄*\))
Hazbin Hotel characters reaction to 'I love you'.
Tumblr media
Pairing: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar, Adam, Vox, Valentino, Velvette x GN! Reader
Warnings: None!
Word count: 482
✰Masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Charlie's face immediately lights up when you say it for the first time. She'll give a little squeal as she embraces you, squeezing the afterlife out of you.
"I love you too, my little fire bug!"
Vaggie takes a second to process what you just said. But afterward, she'll get all flustered that you said that. If you ask her what's wrong, she'll just shake her head and respond with.
"Nothing.. it's just.. I love you too."
Angel Dust thinks you're joking at first, because he finds it to be unbelievable that someone could actually love him. But once he realizes you're telling the truth he'll question why someone like you loves someone like him.
"Me? Are you sure? Well, of course I love you too, it's just.. ah- nevermind."
Husk will freeze and probably drop the glass that he's cleaning. Something in his brain just short circuits when you say it. If you hug him, or touch him at all afterwards, he will purr, but will also 100% deny that he is.
"Purring? No, you're just hearing things.."
Sir Pentious will have an internal freak out, but will also get extremely giddy. Like he'll flap his hands while trying not to slither out of the room.
"Yes.. yes. Me too! I mean.. uh- I love.. you too..?"
Alastor will think you're talking to someone else and will probably ignore you. He simply can't wrap his head around the idea of someone having romantic feelings for him. If you say it a second time, thinking he didn't hear you, he'll respond with.
"No, my dear, I heard you perfectly well the first time. I must apologize for having no interest in this conversation."
Lucifer will be extremely flattered that you love him. Of course, he still loves Lilith very dearly. But, he's also just a lonely, single, dad who deserves to be loved as well.
"Of course I love you too! Never doubt that fact for a second."
Adam is always very flirty, so he isn't surprised that you love him. He will get really cocky about it though, so maybe knock some sense into him first.
"Ha! Of course you love me! I'm fucking Adam!"
Vox will probably actually short circuit or just get really flustered. Since he's never received a proper confession before, he doesn't know how to respond.
"Mhm. Yep!" *gives you a thumbs up and an awkward smile*
Valentino on the other hand, is very used to receiving love confessions. In fact, they are an ego boost for him. He'll probably kiss the back of your hand and reply with.
"I love you too, darling~"
Velvette will give you a smile and a kiss on the cheek, then will tell you that she reciprocates the feeling. She'll probably tweet about it afterwards, though.
"@Velvvette: my lovely partner just told me they love me today!! Love u 2 <3"
Tumblr media
Star's notes -> My last HH headcanons got 1000 notes in three days. Yall are insane, thank you so much <33
(Thank you, sweet anon, for requesting!) (Requests are open!)
Tumblr media
Taglist -> @corruptcoder @astrolovedy @alexandria-fandom @perfectlycraftychaos @stressedbleach @idontreallyexistyet | Join the taglist
2K notes · View notes
tarjapearce · 8 months
Note
Lips anon! Imagine Gabi asking her Mama if she'll ever get big boobs like her lol Miguel is hiding behind his palm dying of stifled laughter. Mama is flustered and just explains the best "Maybe" she can lol
Im 💀 with this one jsksjksjs
-----
As curious as a certain cute little monkey she was, Gabriela couldn't help but stare at your chest as you finished feeding her brother to then put him on his crib.
"Mama?"
"Yes, baby?"
Miguel had arrived from work and kissed you both a hello.
"Will I have big boobs as well?"
Miguel rubbed his face to hide his mirthful mouth underneath. One thing he had noticed was Gabi making the most random questions at the most randoms of times, leaving you for little to no time for rebuttals.
You couldn't help but feel a bit self conscious at the size of your breast, a dumb feeling really. Gabi of course was growing, and the more questions she asked, the more she felt intrigued about many things, mostly were insightful questions that actually left you thinking.
"W-Well, uh... maybe."
"Why maybe?"
"It's complicated, honey. But... given our genetics it's probable."
"Will they hurt?"
You stared at Miguel, a subtle glance asking for help.
"Maybe."
Her face turned concerned.
"I'm not saying this to scare you, baby, but, having big boobs isn't always fun"
"They look pretty though."
"Very pretty" Miguel mumbled from the doorframe and you couldn't help but fluster even more.
"I know baby. But-"
"Are they heavy?"
"Y-Yeah. But you still have a lot of time before they come out. So don't worry, ok?"
"Can I have a bra?"
"Alriight, that was enough questions for mami. Wanna help me to cook, solecito?"
She nodded and went to the kitchen. You threw a pillow at Miguel
"Really?!" he chuckled and kissed you.
"I'll make your favorite as an apology, ok?"
"Just... Don't make it too spicy, please."
3K notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 6 months
Text
honey, honey [mamma mia part three] | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso & jenson button
mamma mia | no more ace to play | masterlist | tips
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by jensonbutton, charles_leclerc and 1,098,455 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel & jensonbutton
yourusername: little chick is finally showing and these old men are still obsessed with cars even though i'm RIGHT THERE !!
view all comments
user1: oh to be the one receiving those photos of fernando
user2: yeah yeah they're having a kid BUT the sheer amount of seb + fernando + jenson content we're gonna get
fernandoalo_oficial: so you go to goodwood with them but don't come to my race :(
yourusername: babe they outnumbered you but we'll be there in canada !!
jensonbutton: sorry some of us didn't choose to be a fossil in an f1 car. just hurry up and retire
yourusername: woah woah, let nando have his lil hobby
fernandoalo_oficial: y/n tell him he can't call me old
yourusername: jenson, fernando isn't a fossil, you know we prefer the term precious artefact, please apologise
jensonbutton: i'm sorry???
user3: omg this is going so fast
danielricciardo: ahhhh y/n is showing !! this is so exciting
sebastianvettel: chickie is the size of a lemon i think
danielricciardo: and you'll all be in canada?
yourusername: yes! i can't wait to meet all of you
danielricciardo: *can't wait to meet chickie's god father
fernandoalo_oficial: daniel you know we haven't decided that yet
jensonbutton: also i've partied with you, why do you think i'd trust you with my kid?
danielricciardo: ummm every child is entitled to a fun uncle ??
user4: i am once again stating how fucking obsessed i am with this set up
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by mickschumacher, jensonbutton and 1,298,450 others
yourusername: my personal favourite snippets of the god father applications. not sure it really made me trust any of them any more than before.
view all comments
user5: i was not expecting to actually see the applications but they defo didn't disappoint
maxverstappen1: ummmmm @charles_leclerc what do you mean? you are the instigator YOU pushed me into that puddle
charles_leclerc: it's okay max get it out (@sebastianvettel @fernandoalo_oficial @jensonbutton see how i am able to de- escalate this situation)
maxverstappen1: try and de-escalate this foot up your literal ass
charles_leclerc: i will put you in time out (i.e. watch your ass going into turn one)
yourusername: you guys realise this is not helping the application right?
maxverstappen1: nuh uh who wouldn't want a world champion as a god father
charles_leclerc: low blow verstappen
yourusername: girlies chickie has dads with seven championships between them so i really don't think she'll be impressed by two
user6: i'm sorry but roscoe hamilton as the reference is killing me
user7: full government name and everything
sebastianvettel: you guys laughed at me but this has amused me to no end
yourusername: you're a genius and i love you for this
user8: L BOMB?
jensonbutton: i take back calling the idea dumb, you were right :(
sebastianvettel: oh how the tables have turned
fernandoalo_oficial: can we all just agree that we never thought those dumbasses would actually fill one in?
yourusername: it makes me even more excited to meet them
jensonbutton: trust me the charm wears off real quick
user9: the way kimi wrote nothing and will probably end up being the god father anyway
Tumblr media
jensonbutton
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, alexalbon and 832,087 others
tagged: yourusername
jensonbutton: best thing about pregnancy cravings is i have an excuse to use seb's insane car collection and brush up on my french
view all comments
user13: on dad duty with the dad angle he's ready
user14: honestly my heart is so warm over the fact that they've all embraced the situation
user15: girl we saw jenson and nando at mclaren together ... it's been coming
user16: oh and that one podium with jenson and seb they just need a girl they all liked to get their shit together and that's the most them thing ever
sebastianvettel: a man goes to one meeting and suddenly julie is being taken on grocery runs
jensonbutton: y/n wanted bagels so ?
sebastianvettel: i know we're having an actual kid but be careful with my mechanical kids as well
jensonbutton: do you forget i'm literally a driver too honey
yourusername: thanks for the bagel baby bagel dates 4 ever
fernandoalo_oficial: cream cheese and salmon WITHOUT ME?
yourusername: we put it in the fridge for when you get home :(
fernandoalo_oficial: awwwww really ???
yourusername: we love you (but also you can't eat soft cheese or raw fish while pregnant)
fernandoalo_oficial: it's the thought that counts?
user17: god this looks like domestic bliss, how does one come about three men to have a kid with in the swiss mountains?
yourusername: honestly i'm so lucky
sebastianvettel: we're luckier
jensonbutton: we're luckier
fernandoalo_oficial: we're luckier
yourusername: fucking hormones are making me ball my eyes out
Tumblr media Tumblr media
f1
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by estebanocon, yourusername and 1,239,086 others
f1: category is ... baby presents !! y/n y/ln made her paddock debut with sebastian vettel and jenson button to support fernando alonso 💚
view all comments
user21: omg seb in his aston martin gear to support nando
user22: imagine showing this to someone in 2010 i think they would have a heart attack
danielricciardo: i had the best present ever god father is in the bag
charles_leclerc: i read your application there's no way, plus seb loves ferrari so my gift will be the best
mickschumacher: lets be real my application was the best
estebanocon: eh i think kimi's was the best
mickschumacher: he literally wrote nothing ????
estebanocon: and yet he outdid all of yall... embarrassing for some
user23: i feel like this fight to be god father is gonna end with a fist fight in the parking lot
yourusername: and i'll be there with my popcorn
sebastianvettel: maybe let's not encourage fighting
yourusername: why not, these squabbles over being in charge if all FOUR of chickie's parents die are the most entertaining thing in the world to me
jensonbutton: lets halt it on the fighting and dying talk okay (i will also be front row to watch these morons fight)
maxverstappen1: if it's a fist fight clear win for me imo
fernandoalo_oficial: how did we get here (i will referee)
danielricciardo: respectfully maxy, i will beat your ass
maxverstappen1: NUH UH
kimiraikkonen: i'm winning no question
sebastianvettel: now that i agree with
yourusername: i thought you were against fighting?
sebastianvettel: i guess it would be kind of funny (especially because any physical violence is an immediate red flag)
user24: okay but can someone actually let us know who got what cause i know these men probably got the dumbest shit that can never actually be used by a child
user25: there's a thread on twitter!
Tumblr media
fernandoalo_oficial
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 934,045 others
fernandoalo_oficial: old man still got it 👍 thank you to the team for your help, needed to impress y/n with my day job x
view all comments
user27: impending fatherhood got nando looking like he can make it an eight championship house
sebastianvettel: @yourusername he's good but i was better
jensonbutton: @yourusername and i was even better x
fernandoalo_oficial: ummm this is literally my post about MY podium?
sebastianvettel: i would've won but that's just me 😬
fernandoalo_oficial: 2013 called and it wants your attitude back 🤨
jensonbutton: it's been ten years guys... (i would've also won)
sebastianvettel: well my trophy cabinet is the fullest so chickie will know who was the best by that :)
yourusername: the sexual tension is killing me, how did yall not shag back in 2010?
jensonbutton: too busy winning and being sluts elsewhere x
maxverstappen1: yall claim you would've won? yall wouldn't get close to me sorry not sorry
sebastianvettel: oh look who's out of the running for god father
maxverstappen1: NO I TAKE IT BACK
yourusername: don't worry maxy, he's joking the bee keeping suit went down VERY WELL
charles_leclerc: he's such a cheat i didn't even know they existed :(
maxverstappen1: you snooze you loose
yourusername: @charles_leclerc i'm craving pasta, i heard it's good in the ferrari hospitality
charles_leclerc: on it 🫡
fernandoalo_oficial: so is no one going to congratulate me?
yourusername: CONGRATS BUB! turns out you ARE great at your day job (and very sexy drenched in champagne)
sebastianvettel: i agree
jensonbutton: i agree
yourusername: once again how did yall make it through the 2010s
user28: i'm trying not to be weird about this but i know their sex life must be crazy
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by jensonbutton, danielricciardo and 1,403,677 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial
yourusername: baby's first f1 weekend and daddy nando did not disappoint (neither did the grid, yall are so generous thank you)
view all comments
user29: i am so unwell this is all so cute i might die
fernandoalo_oficial: i would get any shit box on the podium for you guys
yourusername: NO BRAKES! NO TYRES! OUT OF THE POINTS!
jensonbutton: babe that was over five years ago...
yourusername: ummmm i'm doing my research on your careers? i'd never watched f1 i needed to catch up
sebastianvettel: who showed you this?
yourusername: oscar and lando said they'd give me a quick fire history lesson
fernandoalo_oficial: @oscarpiastri @landonorris i've won 32 races and you show y/n that?
landonorris: funny?
oscarpiastri: we also showed her multi 21, sorry not sorry seb
sebastianvettel: not my four championships?
oscarpiastri: justice for my manager
user30: obsessed with how y/n can watch old races and most of the time one of her bfs win 😭
alexalbon: so great to finally meet you! the albon pets hope it's a girl!
yourusername: don't tell them i told you this but me too
jensonbutton: we can literally all see this?
yourusername: you guys would be such girl dads lets be real
user31: potential girl dad seb, jenson and fernando DO NOT THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME
user32: do NOT let seb name them he's already used all of the good bond girl names
sebastianvettel: i'll have you know kinky kylie is a top tier name
yourusername: for a car. do not suggest any names affiliated with any spy films
sebastianvettel
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by astonmartinf1, mickschumacher and 1,459,832 others
tagged: yourusername, jensonbutton & fernandoalo_oficial
sebastianvettel: thought i'd have a quiet life after retirement, i thought wrong
view all comments
user33: the BEAR ???
user34: what if i die so i can be reincarnated as the f1 baby
jensonbutton: always arguing over who is the best driver but yet i am always designated driver ... makes you think
sebastianvettel: you're the one who pulls the "i'm the oldest" card ... makes you think
fernandoalo_oficial: only one of us is still racing ... makes you think
yourusername: someone is waiting to go to bed but some people are arguing in the comment section ... makes you think
user35: this kid is going to have the most entertaining childhood ever...
yourusername: @fernandoalo_oficial retire so you can join the crochet club
fernandoalo_oficial: no can do i need to bring home the bacon (and beat lewis)
lewishamilton: why am i catching strays? can i join the crochet club instead of fernando?
yourusername: it's strictly bring your own yarn and real housewives only
lewishamilton: make it beverly hills and i'm there
fernandoalo_oficial: ummmmm ??? @mercedesamgf1 ur driver is retiring you heard it hear first
yourusername: you guys gonna beef over crochet as well?
fernandoalo_oficial: yes.
lewishamilton: yes.
jensonbutton: okay nando you're the only one we're waiting for, we're debating god fathers
fernandoalo_oficial: one sec my pr team called me, turns out you can't make up a rumour that lewis hamilton is retiring, who knew?
maxverstappen1: VOTE FOR ME PLEASE
charles_leclerc: you've won enough this season, let me have this one
mickschumacher: i'll bring breakfast in the morning for three votes at least
yourusername: do NOT try and bribe the jury.
note: PART THREE! okay so it's finally here and i hope it's what you guys were looking for... the race for god father is heating up and the name arguments are only just starting... i am enjoying the pregnancy content but i'm excited for baby time !!!
taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @minkyungseokie @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa @tagteamedbitch @imagandom @mypage-myfandoms @mehrmonga @asparklysoul @unstableplant @motorsp0rt @multilovebot @lili-flower03 @its-elias-world @jolixtreesunn @nothingfuninthislife @rileynicol3 @kodzuvk @mochimommy2002 @fluffyspaceprincess @roseseraj @black-swan-blog27 @nyrasslut @justdreamersdream @asfaraslifegets @why4anne @ineffableperson @leilanixx @lunyyx @pupbistro @gaypoetsblog @rafaaoli @champomiel @sadsierra2 @rainerax @lokietro
2K notes · View notes
artsycrapfromsai · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4]
Some more doodles!!
Amaryllis is, uh, just a little startled and overwhelmed by Lae'zel and Karlach's... Ahem, interest in her. She's too Demi-romantic & demi-sexual for this kinda stuff ok, suddenly asking her for sex is the easiest way to get her scared and spooked and run away from you
(she's using Astarion to hide lol he finds it kind of hilarious, but also weirdly happy that she decided to come to him for "protection")
Also! Amaryllis tends to be very blunt, open, honest, etc. If someone asks her something, she'll say what she thinks outright (she grows out of this later in her DnD campaign, but it takes a while & her learning more social cues). Often, if the person she's talking to asks about their appearance, and they're attractive, Amy will just say they're beautiful, no hesitation. Not bc she's attracted to them, but just bc it's the truth
So Astarion asking her what she sees when she looks at him would probably go something like this fkgjfhf no hesitation, just "You're beautiful, ethereal even"
Astarion just has no idea how to deal with this strange, weird woman (that he's somehow growing attached to despite it all- or maybe because of her odd traits)
998 notes · View notes
ninjacomix · 7 months
Text
Mirror maiden GF headcannons pt 2
[Link to part 1]
Tumblr media
Warnings: none just more fluff
You and viktoria can always be seen wearing these silver and gold heart bracelets she has the gold, and you have the silver, and whenever you two are together, they link into a whole heart, especially when you hold hands
Viktoria has a thing for muscles and whenever you two are just relaxing together she insists on you being shirtless so she can plant kisses along your broad chest, rigid shoulders and toned stomach which usually leaves you covered in her blue lipstick and when asked why she does this she merely responds with this
"I'm just appraising this... divine body that the gods have blessed you with darling~"
In the rare event your both caught in combat, the both of you are a force to be reckoned with, while you bring the speed and strength, viktoria using her delusion power can teleport you anywhere on the battle field accompanied by a burst of hydro attacks making you an unbeatable duo
Weekly spa days at home where you both just kick back and pamper each other like feeding each other chocolate strawberries, a warm bath together, doing each other's skin routines, cuddling fully nude to "really feel the connection" (Viktoria just wants to see you naked) just general mutual self care
On certain days when you're not feeling the best and your mind is in a dark place just call viktoria she'll literally drop whatever she's doing, portal straight to where you are then portal you home and lay you on her chest while she strokes your hair and reminds you that your loved and appreciated always ♥️
She hates seeing you get injured and will literally annihilate whatever even DARED to put a scratch on her darling
A week ago, during a commission you got attacked by a thunderhelm lawachurl resulting in a broken arm to tell you she was livid would be an understatement as she took care of and pampered you she said she'd be heading out for a bit and be back home soon, an hour later and she returns with the decapitated head of the same thunderhelm lawachurl in hand with her fatui uniform and breasts stained with its blood and when asked about it she looked to you with an eerie smile and simply said
"No one is allowed to harm my future husband/wife♡~"
But after you healed and got back into tip-top shape, you requested a 2 month off from the guild, as did viktoria with the fatui so that you both could go on a romantic vacation to Fontaine and you both had a wonderful time their, viktoria especially loved the little melusine's found around the hydro nation
"Oh darling, she's adorable. Can we keep her, please?~" As she said this, she was hugging a melusine in a garde uniform who was currently get smothered in her chest
Of course, after that, you ran into clorinde, the strongest champion sword duelist in Fontaine, and even got a picture with her. Strangely, she kept looking at you with.....desire, it was probably nothing
Of course their was one last hurdle you must navigate before leaving Fontaine.....meeting viktoria's "father" aka.....the Knave, to say you weren't nervous was the understatement of the century of course it wasn't your first time meeting a fatui Harbinger since you were close friends with childe who you also encountered during your trip but you've heard rumors of alrecchino being a heartless monster thankfully you had viktoria with you to stay away from saying anything stupid
Alrecchino: viktoria....go and meet up with lyney, Lynette, and freminet....they've missed their big sister dearly
Viktoria: Yes, father stands and gives you a peck on the cheek before leaving you alone with her father
Y/n:.....
Alrecchino:......
Y/n:......so.....this Fontaine weather is a lot different from what I'm used to back home on inazuma chuckles nervously
After what felt like an eternity
Alrecchino: What are your intentions with my daughter?
Y/n: OH, uh well......we've been together for about 2 years now, and in that time, I've already decided she's the woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with
Arlecchino: does the fact that she's a fatuus change that
Y/n:.....I know her work for the fatui is important and I would never get in the way of that.....but I also know it's a dangerous job, I do what I can for her with my status as an adventurer and friend to the kamisato clan but recently the people haven't been as welcoming to the fatui and.....I don't want her getting hurt.....I'd much rather give my life then lose her
Alrecchino simply stares at you with her cold eyes as if scanning for any semblance of falsehood in your word or an indication of any ulterior motives but when she finds none she simply sighs and looks you in the eye with a more calm look
Arlecchino: fine if your so worried about her safety then I'll have her transfered here to Fontaine where she will take care of the house of hearth in my absence, now I'm sure you'll both live peacefully and without fear of being attacked because of her place in the fatui.....right
Y/n: Y-yes, that would be perfect. Oh, thank you lady arlecchino, thank you so much!
As you exclaim your happiness for arlecchinos' uncharacteristically kind gesture, your smile does something to her that makes her heart race but she puts It aside for now and allows you and viktoria to head back to your hotel to pack so you can head back to inazuma and get ready to become citizens of the nation of hydro and maybe during that time arlecchino can find out why you make her heart race with just a smile
And done, but it seems like you've got some new admirers. I guess you'll have to find out in the next one
1K notes · View notes
woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
Text
Injured
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Summary: Mami gets hurt
Tumblr media
When Mami hurts herself at camp, you aren't there.
She doesn't like you coming to camp with her. She says it's because it's much too big a place for a tiny little girl like you but you overheard Abuela telling Tia Alba it's really because Mami doesn't want you anywhere near the management staff.
Either way, you're not at camp. You don't even know what's going on when Abuela wakes you from your nap and brings you to the hospital.
Mami is there though, lying on a hospital bed with her leg in a brace as she stares up at the ceiling blankly.
You shift on your feet, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Mami," You say finally, voice small and weak," You hurted yourself?"
"Si," Mami replies softly," I hurt myself."
Boldly, you take a step forward and then another and then another until you're completely detached from Abuela and are standing at the side of Mami's bed.
"But...But you get better?"
"I'll get better," Mami promises but even she doesn't sound too sure.
"So you can play with the ball and win in England?"
Tears shine in Mami's eyes as she shakes her head. "Not in England, no. But later. I'll have to miss the Euros this year."
You frown for a moment, glancing at her knee. "But you'll be better?"
"I'll be better. We just have to wait a little bit longer."
Your brow wrinkles but you nod anyway and Mami turns to pick you up.
"Alexia," Abuela says in warning, stepping forward to take you.
"Leave her!" Mami snaps as she lifts you up and onto the bed," I'm not injured enough that I can't pick up my own daughter!"
You almost flinch at her tone. Mami doesn't yell like that often and it's a bit frightening but she's got you tucked firmly into her and it doesn't seem like she'll be letting you go anytime soon.
Her fingers card through your hair.
"Mami..."
"Si?"
"Are...Is...Erm...Is your knee hurted bad?"
"Mami needs to have surgery," Abuela says from the door," She's going to have it very soon. Why don't we head out to get some food while we wait?"
Mami glares at Abuela, tugging you ever closer. "She can stay here," She says firmly," Until I really have to go."
"Alexia," Abuela says," She'll aggravate your knee. Let me take her."
"I said no," Mami replies," She'll stay here with me. Why don't you step outside and call Olga?"
Abuela gives her a look but Mami holds firm in her decision.
"I'm sorry that you hurted your leg," You say after a long while of silence.
"It's okay," Mami says but her tone tells you that it's anything but," It just means that we have to take it easy for a bit, alright? It means that I get to spend a lot more time with you, huh? Won't that be nice?"
Your bottom lip wobbles. "Not if you're hurted. It's a big ouchy."
"It is a big ouchy but I'm going to have surgery, probably walk around on some crutches for a bit but it'll all be good again."
You hum in answer, still staring at her leg. "Why does Abuela need to call Miss Olga?"
"Well..." Mami moves you so you're lying on top of her, your head pillowed on her chest like when you were much littler. "Do you remember when Tia Jenni used to come around a lot? When you were a lot younger?"
You nod, careful to remain perfectly still so you don't hurt Mami's leg like Abuela said you would.
Tia Jenni used to come over a lot. She would always play with you and hang out with Mami and sometimes they would touch lips when they thought you weren't looking.
"And now Miss Olga comes round a lot instead?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, Mami and Miss Olga are seeing if we like each other like Mami and Tia Jenni used to like each other. So, I think that she should be told what's going on so she can work out if she wants to stay with me."
You frown. "Why wouldn't she want to stay with you? You're the best, Mami!"
Mami laughs slightly though it's tinged with bitterness. "I'm injured, bambi, and I won't be able to walk properly for a while. Miss Olga might decide that she can't cope with that."
"That's silly. You're the bestest even if you can't walk, Mami."
"Thank you, bambi. At least I know we're going to be good on our own."
"I'll help you!" You promise," Because you're the bestest on the pitch and you just need a little bit of rest before you can go back." You peer up at her, watching as her hand cups your chubby cheeks. "I'll walk Nala and-and I'll help you walk too...Er...And if you tell me what to do, I can make dinner!"
Mami laughs again, raining kisses on top of your head just as the doctors and Abuela - who's still on the phone - come in.
"Alright, y/n," She says softly, setting you back down on the floor," I have to go now. Maybe, while you wait, you can talk to Miss Olga on the phone? Would that be nice?"
You nod firmly. "I'll tell her how great you are!"
"You do that, bambi."
857 notes · View notes