#so sue me

[serasfanfiction]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The next few days were peaceful. The kind of peaceful Lucifer hadn't experienced since the Hotel was in the process of being rebuilt. He hadn't realized how much stress Alastor was causing him until he backed off.

Lucifer might even have gotten a full nights sleep last night! That hadn't happened in an especially long time!

(He wasn't thinking about the fact that his sleep had been haunted by the caress of teeth along his neck or glimpses of red, red sated eyes.)

The images threatened to steal his attention, even as he tried to bury them down with all the other things he was refusing to think about at this point. He forced himself to pay attention, tuning in as Charlie said, excitedly, "She's already spending half her time here! It's really only a matter of time before she agrees to join us full time!"

The campaign to get Cherri Bomb to join the Hazbin Hotel had been having mixed results since the fight with Adam and her participating in the rebuilding. She was clearly here mostly for Angel, but it seemed that the other denizens of the hotel were growing on her. Charlie was correct in that the cyclops spent just as much time at the hotel as she did were ever else she landed when she wasn't with them. She even had a room of her own, even if she didn't officially claim it. It definitely helped it was right next door to her best friend.

Lucifer patted her shoulder. "She'll come around in her own time. Remember, for this to work, they have to actually want it."

Charlie placed her hand over her father's, biting her lip and near bursting with excitement. "I know, but it just feels like we're so close! It'll be so great when she agrees."

"Yes, but in the meantime, we'll just continue to make her feel welcome." He smiled at her proudly. "Which you're already doing so well at!"

Charlie's returned the smile, pleased with his feedback.

The moment, like so often when one lives in Hell, was suddenly and abruptly interrupted by the entire building shaking.

Angel appeared on the landing of the second floor, the one that overlooked the main entrance and foyer. "What the hell? We haven't had any shady guests lately, have we?"

Alastor stepped out of the shadows near the entrance, a loud boom ringing out as something large and heavy hit the door.

Lucifer was suddenly glad he had reinforced the structure. It wasn't impossible that someone could break in through brute force, especially if someone was extremely determined, but the sheer effort would give the hotel guests ample time to mount a defense.

Loud shouting came from outside, words unintelligible through the thickness of it. Alastor ignored the hostile aura premating from outside as if he couldn't even feel it, throwing open the door.

"Oh my, you are quite annoying," he greeted the group at their door. The two fellas up front, stooges and the muscle by the look of them, were holding a large battering ram. Alastor eyed it distastefully. "Whatever business could you have with us that is worth all this racket?"

A nervous looking demon cleared his throat, unwisely drawing the Radio Demon's full attention. "We." He swallowed, complexion growing paler the longer Alastor stared at him. In a rush, he stated, "We were sent here to send a message!"

The radio host tilted his head to the side. "Message?"

The group glanced at each other, clearly psyching themselves up. Nodding, the 'leader' proclaimed, "Yeah, 'give up this shitty mission, or else.'"

"Or else what?"

The group collectively drew their weapons, an assortment of guns and knives. "Or else we're going to have to use force."

The widening of Alastor's grin should have been a warning. Lucifer would have felt bad for the little idiots for not seeing the flaming pile of shit they had just stepped in, but they were in the process of threatening his daughter and that was just a big no go for him.

"Oh, you really don't want to do that." Lucifer came up to stand beside Alastor, hands coming up in a shooing motion. "Like, seriously. Go back to whoever sent you and tell them they don't get a second warning."

The leader blinked down at him. He must have been new to Hell, because he asked, "And who are you?"

"Oh, little ol' me?" Lucifer's wings and horns appeared in all their full glory. "I'm the Devil, bitches."

The group barely had time to do little more than gape before they were sent tumbling arse over head from a powerful gust of wind, curtesy of the before mentioned wings. Fully prepared to rough them up a little before sending them on their way, Lucifer stepped out of the hotel.

Only to be halted by something wrapping around his waist. He glanced down at what appeared to be a shadow about the thickness of a vine. Now, where had that come from?

"Now, now, your Majesty, that won't do."

Ah, yes. Of course, it was one of Alastor's shadow tentacle things.

"Oi! Put me down!" The blond protested as he was picked up and then deposited on one of the second floor balconies.

Alastor didn't bother looking back at him. His tone was that of a parent talking to a particularly petulant child as he ordered, "Why don't you stay up there for a bit? There's really no need for you to get involved."

Lucifer had half a mind to take not just the goons out, but Alastor as well, but ultimately decided to let the Radio Demon have his fun. Besides, he was looking a little peckish lately. "Just leave one alive so they can tell their boss to back off!"

Down below, Charlie chimed in with, "Or we could leave all of them alive?"

Alastor near cackled as he grew in size, the invaders suddenly realizing they were in serious danger and attempting to make a run for it. Shadow creatures began to rise out of the ground, breaking off their get away. "Nonesense!" Alastor disagreed cheerfully. "Everyone mysteriously disappearing is a much more delicious way of keeping people on their feet!"

Lucifer rolled his eyes. Oh, he bet it was 'delicious.'

A noise behind him drew his attention. Lucifer looked over his shoulder, finding himself eye to eye with a wolf demon he'd never seen a day in his life. Especially not one that had no business sneaking into the hotel with a knife he was clearly intending to use.

They started at each other for a long moment. The guy must have been an idiot, because he apparently decided he wanted to take his chances and attempt to stab the King of Hell himself.

Lucifer reached up, fully intending to catch the blade. Under normal circumstances, weapons made in Hell couldn't hurt him and would have just shattered on contact.

But this blade wasn't just an ordinary blade made it Hell. Lucifer realized it must have been made from Angelic Steel when the knife cut straight through his hand like a hot knife through butter. He winced, despite himself. Somehow, he'd forgotten how much that could hurt.

The wolf demon made the mistake of not pressing his advantage, seeming to think that the pain of something as simple as a knife through the hand would be enough to make the first being to ever lead a rebellion against a real army to pause. Oh no, all it did was infuriate him.

Lucifer pressed his hand down the knife further, allowing him to take hold of the hilt. The demon's grip went slack with shock, allowing the blond to wretch it out of his hand. With his good hand, Lucifer yanked the offensive object out, carelessly tossing it onto one of the other neighboring balconies, where it would be of little use during this battle and could be retrieved later. "Oh, that was a very poor decision." Giving no quarter, he darted forward to wrap his hand around the demon's throat, wings flapping to give him the hieght to do so. "Tell me why you're up here, before I decide to be rid of you regardless."

The wolf grunted, hands clawing uselessly at his arm. He managed to choke out, "Like we said: we're just here to send a message."

Lucifer looked down at where Alastor was rounding up the last couple of stragglers, tossing a third into his mouth. The little nervous demon from before appeared to have peed himself from fright. The seraphim turned back to his captive. Something told him that those boo zoos were a mere distraction and this was the real leader of the group. Shaking him a little, Lucifer demanded, "Who sent you?"

A sneer came in response. "We're just for hire. We get a call and we do the job, no questions asked."

Lucifer realized he wasn't going to get anything of use out of this guy. And since he was likely the only real threat of the group, the blond didn't feel comfortable letting him be the return messenger.

A beat of his wings had them air born, bringing them to hover over Alastor, who's ears perked up as he realized he was about to get another morsel. "Whelp, in that case, it sounds like you're useless to me. Guess I'll just hand you over to the Alastor--"

"W-wait!" The wolf demon frantically choked out, "Isn't this p-place for s-second chances! Your d-daughter believes in that s-shit, doesn't she?"

Lucifer's eyes narrowed. "You're right. My daughter does have a gift for seeing the best in people, even when there isn't any. But me? My curse is that I'm damned to always see the worst in all of you." Between one blink to the next, he let his form bleed into it's most demonic, hellfire igniting and his broken halo taking form as the true crown of Hell manifested. His True Eyes opened along his coat, Seeing right through this worthless soul and all of his sins. "Tell me, honestly, do you regret, even a little, for pushing Elizabeth in front of that train? Did you care in the least that her husband only had a handful of voicemails to remember her voice by? That her son grew up without any memories of his own mother?"

The wolf demon gasped for breathe, eyes wild. "The- the reporter? I had to kill her." He squirmed and yanked to no avail, Lucifer's hand like steel around his neck. Frantically, he added, "She was no-no one! She- she was going to ruin everything!"

Lucifer sneered. "Wrong answer."

Without hesitation, he opened his fist. The wolf demon shrieked as he fell, the shrill sound abruptly cutting off as Alastor closed his mouth around his treat.

The nervous little demon, perhaps smarter than they gave him credit for, took advantage of the distraction to make his get away. Alastor let him in favor of watching his king, eyes alight and calculating.

Lucifer hovered above him, every one of his eyes trained on the sinner below him. He realized that while he had seen Alastor in his full eldritch form during their first meeting, this would be the first time Alastor was seeing him in his own full demonic form.

Alastor, like in every aspect of his life, neither blinked nor cowered. He brought up a hand, the motion that puppet slowness he'd showed when Lucifer had manifested the pair of deer ears. He brought it up until it hovered just below the Devil's feet.

Lucifer squinted at him, not trusting that if he let himself land in Alastor's hand, the latter wouldn't just drop him out of spite.

He never found out either way, as he became distracted by Charlie's alarmed shout of "Oh my goodness, Dad!"

Alarmed, Lucifer spun around, his demonic features melting away into his normal appearance. "Charlie? What's wrong?" He came down to land in front of her, reaching out to make certain nothing had gotten past them to hurt her. "Are you okay?"

Charlie grabbed onto his hand, causing him to wince. Horrified, she cried out, "Forget me! Your hand is hurt." She hissed as she assessed the full extent of the damage. "Oh shit, it went all the way through!" She twisted around to shout back at the other behind her. "Vaggie! Bandages!"

Lucifer held up his free hand. "It's fine, sweetie, really. It'll heal up in no time. Really, I'd be more worried about any survivors. Alastor is way too enthusiastic for a guard dog." He glanced over his shoulder at Alastor, who had shrunk down to his normal size. Lucifer caught a glimpse of a gold coated tongue past the the hand the red head had up to his mouth. Lucifer found himself reassessing if Alastor had been offering him a hand after all or if he had just been taking the opportunity to get another taste of angel blood.

Judging by the pleased look on the deer demon's face, and the fact that he was letting 'guard dog' comment slide, it was most likely the latter.

And this was why Lucifer had trust issues when it came to this little shit.

Charlie tugged him towards the inside of the hotel, saying something about bandaging his hand. He was forced to break eye contact with his rival or keep his daughter from carrying on with his fretting. Really, it was all too much. It would take longer than the usual for injury to heal - the scar would barely be noticeable in a few days! - there was really no need for all this fussing! He even tried to say as such, which turned out to be a bad idea, because now Charlie was making sad eyes at him and really he was just going to be quiet and let her do her thing because it was so much better than her crying.

In the mess of the clean-up, Lucifer completely forgot about the angelic blade.

tbc

Part 5

#radioapple #appleradio #alastor #lucifer morningstar #deer lucifer fic #deer lucifer who is not actually appearing in this chapter #we needed some team building between lucifer and alastor #it'll be worth it all later #this chapter might have been inspired by the malificent movie #i just mostly wanted to write out the scene with lucifer in full demon form #so sue me #and wild plot appears! #its largely there to keep these two idiots interacting #we'll see where this goes #deer lucifer may be back in part five or six #likely six

[captaincrusher]

So, here's the thing: on January 29 I celebrate something called Threshold Day.

This is a celebration of the best/worst episode of Star Trek Voyager - Threshold. I post only about this episode. I do Threshold memes. I reblog art. I remember the good times. The horrible times. I shake my head in disbelief at Chakotay abandoning those lizard babies once again.

If you want to join in the hashtag is #Threshold Day on Tumblr and #ThresholdDay on Twitter. We always have a good time. The aim is to have fun, share in the things we love about Star Trek and enjoy the wackiness.

You have until January 29 to create your memes and your moving art tributes and queue up posts. Hope to see you all there.

#Threshold Day #I know I'm a bit early this time but I felt like starting the amp up early this time alright #So sue me

[jos-art-loft]

He'd be too powerful with eyebrows

-

If you haven't heard of Welcome Home yet, CHECK IT OUT!! It's a horror ARG in progress - you can find more info on @partycoffin 's page! This doodle features the lovely (and totally Normal) Wally Darling!

(I tried to GIF this, but it it dithers (is that how you say it?) when I export it. Thanks Adobe)

#jo's art #Welcome Home #Wally Darling #I can't wait to doodle all these characters #Yea I forgot to add the sides of the desk #so sue me #this budget can only get one (1) board #unreality

[fruit-salad-ship]

Pirate au hypothetical

Some fancy do is happening between myths and monsters, people who have made deals with gods, those who are renown, both peach and plum say they’re not going, it’s not safe to do so, the people there want them dead, or would if they knew who they were, but the loot is priceless. They lie, no one knows they take clothes and sneak out in the dead of night.

Both end up at the party secretly, blending in, being charming. Peach is in a high femme presenting beautiful gown she stole a while back, totally amazing, dripping with jewels, totally playing up all the right things to be very appealing, dagger strapped to the thigh. Plum has gone in well tailored captain gear, the military cut jacket, the fine sword, everything precise, just so, very masc.

They catch each other across the room and freeze up for a moment, suddenly finding this very funny, of course they both snuck to the same very dangerous situation and not tell the other to save them the risk. They end up stood facing away from each other, having a subtle chat about the irony of this all. Both finding the other person incredibly hot, and the whole fiasco completely ridiculous.

There’s a daring theft, the ladies rush out with a map to something very special, followed closely by some party goers who caught them out, peach with a dagger, plum and her sword, both making it back to the ship, boa helping them get away quickly, the crew shaken awake by the chaos the girls bring back.

You bet the girls cannot leave each other alone once the danger has passed.

#I’m sick #and craving pirates #so sue me #pirate au #fruit salad #brainrot

[ninicaise]

#re did it bc i forgot the princess diana option. vote again literally idc #some of these aren't even canonically plausible but put them in anyway. bc they are funny #so sue me #laurent #captive prince #many of these are 1) they hate him 2) they love him 3) they don't care #there Are basically three answers but. i'm more interest in the nature of the hatred love or lack thereof. the whys. the reasons. etc #polls

[tao-lay]

my favorite genre of the grumps: loving stares, and lung-busting laughter

#the grumps #game grumps #10mph #10 minute power hour #MY GOODNESS #yeah #i am in love with yet another pair of middle aged men #so sue me #OH MY GOODNESS #DANNY LOOKS SO HAPPY #arin hanson #dan avidan

[hydro-city-zone]

is it cold out?❄️

#homestuck #home22tuck #collegestuck?? technically? #you can’t really tell #so sue me #I like thinking about them being normal people sometimes #dave strider #john egbert #june egbert #pepsicola if you squint really hard I guess???

[sesamie]

i think i'm obsessed with depictions of fictional love where the person in love feels sustained and fed by the person they're in love with's happiness. they'd do anything to see them smile and feel fizzy in their chest when they hear them laugh. the look on their face when they can finally relax contented is worth more than anything at all. especially if the person they're in love with is not necessarily a very happy person most of the time

#and MAYBE i want someone to think about me this way #SO SUE ME #i'm an unhappy person

[legobiwan]

It's 2024 and I've decided to make a Gravity Falls fic rec list. Because I do what I want, even if I'm showing up to the fandom a decade or so late. All fics are Gen unless otherwise noted, warnings can be found at the end of each description.

Birthday Dinner by Fordtato

A post-series short story featuring our two favorite old men out at sea, this work is wildly in-character in terms of their bickering and sometimes-competitive-to-the-point-of-self-sabatoge sibling relationship, but in the best and most hilarious of ways. Warnings for lighthearted discussion of cannibalism.

i know exactly where my blood is by strawberrybiscuit

There are a number of works that delve into Stan's possible suicidal ideation tendencies, both in his drifter years and post-Portal Incident. I find this to be a wholly conceivable notion, given both the absolute shit hand he was dealt in life and the hints we are given throughout the series that his self-esteem was pretty much in the gutter. Of the stories that explore this theme, I find this one to be one of the most grounded - Stan's borderline dissociation/gallows humor is very in-character, as is Ford's genuine horror when he learns the truth of the situation, which is rightfully emotional without delving into melodrama or transforming into a Saturday afternoon special. Warnings for intense talk of self-harm and suicide.

By Any Other Name by Zeragii 

I, like many of us, am fascinated by the tantalizing tidbits we've been fed as to Stan's decade or so existence as a drifter. We know he's failed at somewhat more legitimate attempts at entrepreneurship (the dodginess of the actual products notwithstanding), we know he was living out of his car for a large majority of those years, we know he's been to prison three times in various countries, and we know something happened in Colombia. All this is to say, Stan's probably made a lot of enemies, and that his map of "States I'm Banned In" is more likely a summary of places in which he has outstanding warrants and/or a price on his head.

What happens when that past catches up to you?

While this isn't an uncommon theme in Gravity Falls fics, what I love about this story is the complexity of the interactions between Stan and Ford here, given this is a post-series fic. Yes, they've mended their relationship, but old patterns die hard. Neither twin ends up as the "damsel in distress" (a worrying recurrence in many GF fics), despite the fact they are thrown into multiple dangerous situations and the OCs/Pines family extension are well-crafted and three-dimensional.

The People That We Always Hoped We Would Be by SharoScylla

A Christmas Carol, but make it Gravity Falls. The section of this story that really sold me was Stan's climatic scene in a bedbug-ridden, hovel of a motel room in New Mexico. Guest appearance made by the infamous Jimmy Snakes, who I learned recently was going to be a real character (and essentially this universe's answer to Ghost Rider) until that whole bit about Stan's past biker life was cut (regrettable). Embracing both the humor and darkness present in the original show, this story sees a Research Era!Ford come face-to-face with his own proverbial demons (real demons not included) as he is visited by a familiar cast of future past. Warnings for suicide attempt.

O Brother by Obsessive_Reader

In progress. A timestuck AU with the Mystery Twins 1.0 being catapulted into the 1980s, a young Ford landing with an increasingly desperate adult Stanley as young Stan tries to navigate the thorny, icy adult his brother Stanford has become. Probably one of the most realistic timestuck AUs out there, as fences are not mended immediately between the adult twins nor with their children counterparts. Also, Fiddleford finally has a chance to shine!

Orpheus Descending by Sir_Thopas

Unfinished. Which is a damn, damn shame, as this is probably one of my favorite Gravity Falls fics of all time. Read it anyway. Yes, you'll swear vociferously at where it leaves off. ResearchEra!Ford goes to incredible lengths to bring his brother back from the dead as Stan's demise is not exactly what it seems. What exactly happens with Stan is incredibly realistic, given his circumstances, and the local color written in by this Georgian native just adds to the Gothic feel of the whole tale. To what lengths would you go to bring your family back? At what point do you cross the point of no return in order to survive? Warnings for graphic description of a decayed corpse and prostitution scene.

Journal #4 by Percival_T_Honeybee

To be honest, this story stops being a Gravity Falls fic a couple of chapters in, instead featuring characters we know and love in increasingly out-of-universe (in all ways imaginable) situations. This doesn't matter, though, as the world- and character-building of this swashbuckling, sci-fi epic are superb and will have you on the edge of your seat until the final chapter. When both Stan and Ford go through the portal, their futures become something they never could have imagined.

Turning by BrandyFromTheBottle

I've mulled over this conceit on more than occasion and truly think it's something that begs further exploration. What if Stanley Pines pulled a Saul Goodman and, after the world was saved, turned himself in, willingly going to trial, and eventually, prison as self-inflicted recompense for his past deeds?

And now for something different...

Entanglement by Haley3

Ford/Bill (to be clear, Triangle Bill. Accept no substitutions). I realize Billford is not everyone's cup of tea and I rarely, rarely post shipping stuff, but in full transparency, I find their relationship fascinating and the idea of their having interactions that may have seeped over the boundary of purely (well, not pure. Ford built a damned shrine and became a one-man cult while Bill was manipulating him the entire time) platonic is not out of the question. In other words, I'm not wholly immune to Billford, but I am rather picky about how they are portrayed.

This fic checks all my boxes. Bill remains a triangle throughout. Bill is unredeemable. Ford and Bill have a relationship whose complexity would rival the equations of the dimensional physics they debate. And, of course, Ford is lying to himself and those around him, deeply, deeply in denial as to the nature and profundity of his emotions towards his tormentor. Warnings for explicit sexual scenes, manipulation, emotional abuse. I mean, it's Bill, we all know what that means.

#hello there #fic recs #gravity falls #stanley pines #stanford pines #bill cipher #so i have one fic here that's a little spicy #so sue me #ahahahahahahha

[mychlapci]

Going on fraction play.

Big bad Decepticon Deadlock having been caught by none other then Ratchet during the war, arms tied behind his back, a spreder bar on his legs and Deadlock onlining to see said medic and why was he so warm- oh, both panels are open, and Ratchet is looking at him like he's the medics next meal and God damn if it didn't turn on Deadlock

Cue to the nastiest sex ever, Ratchet showing that Decepticon that the medic was in charge.

Which may or may not lead for that big bad Deadlock to be Bred up and sparked 🫡

ooooh. deadlock gets knocked out on the battlefield and when he next wakes up his injuries have been patched up, and it seems the battle has passed... but when he tries to get up he finds that his hands are bound by powerful chains and his legs are forced spread open. his panicked tugging at his restraints lures a familiar face into the room... ratchet doesn't hesitate to touch him even as deadlock snarls and snaps his teeth at him, confident he's tied him up tight enough- it's that confidence that really turns deadlock on. ratchet nudges deadlock's interfacing panels open, maybe he degrades him a little when he notices deadlock's engine revving, mentions how much of an eager and obedient little decepticon he is, all wet and horny for an autobot... if only megatron knew...

obviously ratchet fucks him until deadlock not only stops spitting profanities at him, but starts begging for autobot spike to fill him up... (who said "autobots inferior"? that guy was wrong)

#yeah okay maybe i had ratchlock on my mind when i wrote that and was kind of hoping someone was gonna bring it up #so sue me #valveplug #dubcon #but its fine theyre both kinky like that #faction play

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

just a few doodles I did a while ago that I forgot to post MUU DROP TONIGHT BABEEEE

-mercury

#milgram #ミルグラム #milgram fanart #ミルグラムファンアート #milgram project #milgram es #milgram kotoko #milgram shidou #milgram mahiru #milgram kazui #milgram haruka #milgram muu #haruka sakurai #muu kusunoki #yes i did draw haruka over 5 from umbrella academy #so sue me #i keep forgetting to post art here my b my b

[meat-wentz]

Gerard Way x Cinema: Sugar & Spice (2001) Dir. Francine McDougall// But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) Dir. Jamie Babbit// Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) Dir. Fran Rubel Kuzui// Cheerleader Camp (1988) Dir. John Quinn// Death Proof (2007) Dir. Quentin Tarantino// Heathers (1988) Dir. Michael Lehmann// Assassination Nation (2018) Dir. Sam Levinson// Jennifer’s Body (2009) Dir. Karyn Kusama

#adding jennifer despite flags and cheer not being the same thing #so sue me #gerard way #gerard #mcr #my chemical romance #gerard way x cinema #sugar & spice #but i’m a cheerleader #buffy the vampire slayer 1992 #cheerleader camp #bloody pom poms #death proof #heathers #assassination nation #jennifer’s body

[femmeidiot]

wanna lay my head in your lap while you play with my hair and rub my forehead and also probably put your fingers in my mouth

#So sue me

[bajablasted69]

Everyone with chronic pain should be able to transfer whatever pain they're feeling at any given moment onto someone else for a couple of hours. Just as a treat

#chronic pain #cripple punk #disability isn't a punishment / has nothing to do w morals #& I'd love to be the kinda person to say I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy #but #there are some fascists I would love to force to experience this #so sue me