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somedaytakethetime · 8 months

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I have been listening to this cover on loop for.. a long time now.. I should also preface with the fact that I'm incredibly emotionally unstable and tender today... 😶😶 so.... 😶 I have an abandoned idea and hopefully that'll come out right. How do we feel about fake dating, severe emotional conflict and also a bit of angst that will turn out well? Bit of.. hm... you know.. references... on the side.. 😶 I'm me.. everything is horny with me.. if you were around long enough you would have lived through it.. Warnings: Mild. Very mild. So mild that the water isn't even warm yet. But it's still a bit of non appropriate content for the childrens so.. you know the drill.. Word Count: TOO EFFING MANY! HOW MANY!? SIX THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED AND NINETEEN MANY! YES I'M A CRIMINAL AND I'M SORRY

"Are we good friends?" you lift your head up from the papers you're going over and look at him, he's standing there serious and waiting for an answer. "No, I hate your guts. Why do you ask?" you say with an eye roll that shows you're joking, and he rolls his back, "I'm serious. Answer me. Are we good friends? Are we close friends? Are we on that level of friendship?" you look at him suspicious.. why is he asking all of these things? And how do you answer? Are you? You haven't been working here very long, it's long enough that you've grown comfortable with everyone though, you have to deal with all these men on a daily basis and you've learned how to handle each and every one of them. You like him the best, mostly because he's quiet and when you have to deal with so much testosterone? You want quiet. Plus, he's unfairly funny too. He's not the most extroverted, keeps to himself, but god is he hilarious once you get to know him. And you have. You've gotten to know him very well, you've probably grown closest to him out of everyone of them. In part because of how respectful he's always been, and in part because.. you shake your head and look at him, you suppose that.. "Yes. I think so? I would consider you a good friend, but do you consider me a good friend?". You list it out mentally: you text often enough, you have inside jokes, you feel comfortable with him, he's warmed up to you, you're totally comfortable to tease each other and bicker a lot. Yes, he's a good friend. But what if.. his voice breaks your pondering again, he's serious and quick, "Of course I do. That's why I need your help." oh... this isn't going to end well for you, is it? He's asked for help before.. it never ends well for you...

"I can't believe that I'm actually doing this.. I don't even think this is allowed! Do you understand how much trouble I'll be in if anyone finds out!?" and he just shrugs and laughs it off, scans the racks of dresses again and looks at a few before shaking his head and putting them back, "I'll cover for you the way you cover for me. You'll be fine, no one will fire you." and you scoff again, "Staff isn't allowed to date within the company! It's literally in my contract!" he just looks at you, smirking smugly, "Well, good thing that we're not dating." and pulls out another dress, looks at it from all angles, presses it into your hands and says "Go try this one on, I think the colour and cut will suit you." you sigh, exasperated, but walk away and do what he tells you to. Why did you agree to this again? Oh, yeah, because you're ''good friends''. And ''good friends'' help each other in times of need. You can still hear his pleading voice and you feel contrived. Yes, good friends help each other with mild tasks. Not with faking a relationship! You can't even legally do it, your contract states just that! You think... you can't remember exactly but you're pretty sure that's what clause 18 means.. too many clauses to remember.. you ignore clauses and huff as you take your clothes off and try the dress he handed you. He's going to a family wedding, needs a date and he wants you to fake being with him. Why can't he just take another girl that won't lose her job over this? Oh, yes, because he doesn't want to, right. "I'm just tired. I don't want to date. I don't want a relationship, I really don't, my last one was awful.. and that was years ago, I just don't care for this anymore. I want my family to stop bothering me about being single, I just need you to fake it this once with me and I'll never ask a favour again! Swear!" and he did look cute, holding his hand over his chest like a little boy scout, you'll give him the fact that he's adorable at times. Even if he would likely choke you for calling him adorable. You take a deep breath and stand up to face your reflection "Holy shit." this is.. not the dress you would have picked for yourself. It's gorgeous, yes, but there's a lot of chest.. tasteful, but you don't usually show your cleavage this openly.. can you even wear black to a wedding?? You open the door and walk towards where he sits, "Can I wear bl-" and he shakes his head, "Yes, you can. Trust me. At least three of my cousins will wear black. Plus, it'll match my suit the best and I think we should match. That's something couples do, no?" and you just look at him.. "I.. guess?" you really aren't sure, you've never been serious enough with anyone that you were matching for weddings. But in any case, it's his money. He's buying this dress so.. you'll take a pretty, expensive dress when offered.. besides you look kind of nice in it. Maybe... '"Stop being insecure." you look up at him, realising that he could notice you fussing and trying to hide yourself, "You look beautiful. I like how this dress looks on you. You hide yourself too much.", and you just look at him. You didn't know he.. noticed you like that. You don't think any of them notice you, that's your intention. But he did anyway. A warmth starts spreading in your chest and you just turn back "Okay, we'll get this one. It's your choice anyway, Mr. Moneybags, you know your family best." and quickly walk into the dressing room to change back.

"Oh god, why did I say yes again?" you're shaking, you're so nervous. You're walking through the pebbled path as you make your way into the giant private garden his cousin rented for his wedding. You're terrified of meeting his family. You're going to be introduced as.. what? Lord knows what. He has barely told you anything this far besides "I'll pick you up at home, be ready when I get there." and "You don't need to stress, my family is incredibly relaxed and they don't care for pomp. You'll see." sure.. you'll see... you'll see that apparently his cousin is also incredibly rich! Or at least it looks that way. God, you're going to make a fool out of yourself in front of all of these people... you should leave, you can fake sickness, you can-.. you can feel his hand engulf yours. A massive, strong hand suddenly snaking around your trembling one. His thick fingers force yours apart and lock them with his. It cuts your breathing for a second and you look up at him, "Please, stop that. You're safe. I wouldn't ask you if I thought anyone would be rude to you. My family will love you, I'm sure my mother will lose her mind. My father isn't a monster, even if he looks more intimidating, he'll be delighted with you too. He's been telling me to settle down for years.. they'll love you. I trust you completely and I want you to trust me too." he's looking into your eyes and you feel the urge to cry suddenly, you don't know why, there's just something there.. "I know it doesn't always come across that way, it's my temper, but I really like you. You're a good friend, I trust you. I've open up to you a lot more than I've opened up to some others I've known for years. I would have never asked if I didn't think we could fake being a couple well enough. Don't be scared, I'll be right here and you're safe with me. Okay? I don't need you to do anything major. Just need you to act like you don't hate me and that you would, if bribed and begged enough, sleep with me on occasion." he says it with humour, trying to make you laugh, but there's no humour in you right now. There can be none. Because you don't need to pretend that you don't hate him. And you definitely wouldn't need to be bribed into sleeping with him. You'd do so gladly. You'd even offer first. 'You want him' there's the traitorous voice that has been haunting you lately, whenever he's near, and that voice is correct. Which is a thought that scares you even more.

You're not okay. You're just simply not okay at all. You have drank enough that you've let go of all your inhibitions. You're watching him dance with his cousin's bride, lost his jacket and tie a while back, his sleeves are rolled up and he's the freest you've ever seen him. He's beautiful. He's so handsome. And he's hot as hell too. The reception has been beautiful, the speeches were lovely. His whole family nearly dropped in shock when he introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend. His mother shrieked in delight. His cousins did too. Even the bride, who has known him for years and watched him grow up, came over and gave you a huge hug, "Oh, I'm so happy to meet you!! He's a dog for hiding you from us, but I'm glad that you're finally taking him off the streets.. he's been evading love for too long." and she side eyed him, called him a sneak for keeping you hidden from them and he pouted and told her to get off his back. She treats him like a baby brother and it makes him huffy when he's treated like a child. All of his older cousins do, and they've ribbed him all night about not telling anyone that he was dating 'such a gem'. You're a gem. You've never been called a gem. Or beautiful this often either. His mother has hugged you and danced you with like she's known you for years. His father, tall and intimidating, has smiled softly at you often and asked you to dance with him too. They've been lovely and keep telling you how happy they are that he's finally found someone. "You're such a lovely girl, I can tell, and.. he deserves it so much. He's been alone for too long, he deserves a girl that will treat him right this time." it's tumbling in your head. What happened with his previous relationship? Something awful that everyone keeps avoiding but mentions in passing as something to never be spoken of openly. It must have been horrible if it put him off of dating for so long. You focus on him again, dancing with one of his baby cousins now, tiny little toddler that twirls her dress when he spins her gently. Your heart beats it's way up to your throat and you feel it threatening to come out. 'God, don't... you're faking this, just don't. You don't even know for how long he'll ask you to fake it, nothing makes sense about it.. but just.. don't.. be a good friend and don't.' yet.. you still swoon and sigh at the way he lifts his baby cousin up in the air and she squeals with delight, says his name in that baby tender way children do, and melts into his embrace as he kisses her a million times. He looks straight into your eyes suddenly, smiling as he kisses this baby, and you feel your heart again. You smile back at him, fondly and in love, and you lie and tell yourself that you're faking it.

"I need you to be free this Saturday, please tell me you are." you nearly jump out of your skin when you hear his voice behind you. Drop all the supplies you'd been grabbing from the cupboard and turn around, startled and a little angry, "Can you stop doing that!? How do you walk this quietly!!?? Are you a spy for some special organisation!??" and his hearty laugh turns your legs a little into jelly, "Are you free on Saturday or not, girlfriend?" your traitorous heart speeds up at being called girlfriend, you ignore it and ask him suspiciously, "I think so? Why am I being asked this.." and when he gives you that angelic smile you know you're in trouble again.. "My mum has invited us for lunch. Dad's cooking.", you give him a neutral look, "I promise he can cook! I swear men in my family are great cooks! It's a cultural thing.", and you watch him get smug, your blood rushes faster in your veins, but you choose a frown instead of swooning, "Do I really have to..", he looks a bit taken back by that but says softly, "I wouldn't force, of course, I would never do that. But.. we are dating. And my parents want to know you better. You have to remember that I did sort of just drop this on everyone out of the blue.." he looks dejected, you've never seen him this way, you don't like how it makes you feel.. "I don't mean that I don't want to, I'm sorry, but I'm just scared.. what if they don't like me? And what if I put a foot wrong? At the wedding it was easy to pretend. I wasn't the focus, and you cut all the questions down. But.." you say his name softly, "This time is different. They'll expect me to answer questions too. What if I don't know what to say and give us away?". he does it again.. his hand reaches for yours, holds them gently while his thumbs softly stroke your skin in a soothing gesture, "Hey, I'm right here. I'll be with you the whole time. I won't let you drown. We can do this together, I know my parents. They will only ask you questions about yourself, you can answer that, I'll answer what needs to be said for us.", you nod, his voice is so soothing, it makes your whole body relax, but you still say, "You can't always be doing that. We need to work a plan for how we met, how we started dating, all the details. We both need to know exactly what to say and it needs to match. We can't wing this. If we're going to pretend, we need to do it well.", he smirks at you, amused, "You're so cute. Always so obsessed with details, always want to do every little thing right. I love that about you.", your breath catches your throat and you watch him get closer to you, "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight and we'll discuss the details? I'll cook. I swear I'm good at it!", you barely find the breath to say a quiet 'of course' as his name is called from down the hall, he smiles, kisses your cheek with all the casualty in the world, and says "I'll pick you up at seven, girlfriend!" and starts to stroll away, suddenly looks back and adds, "By the way.. I like that dress, it makes your eyes sparkle. You should wear it more.". Leaves you standing there, heart hammering in your chest, thinking 'why did I say yes again?'..

He wasn't lying. He can actually cook. It's a simple meal but it still made you feel warm inside when he said "I'm making my favourite for us, I hope you'll like it.", before you watched him cook dinner for you. He doesn't let you touch anything, just told you to sit and relax, "Let me handle everything.", and you grabbed the glass he gave you and walked to his couch. You don't always drink, but he has impeccable taste and this wine, something you don't ever think much about, is very light. "White wine goes best with what I'm making, so I hoped you'd enjoy it." it tastes.. expensive. You don't know how you know that, but the bottle is so non-descript that it has to be expensive. His house has to be expensive too. You don't recognise a single thing in it, but the minimal decoration, neutral colours and the feel of the fabrics just says 'yes, he really paid several amounts of money for this grey couch'. You're afraid to spill wine on it, so you get back up and go sit across from him at the bar stools by the island. You take small sips as you watch him, relaxed and free, in just a basic black tshirt and grey joggers. 'Even that's expensive' you notice the Boss logo so that one you know for sure, but regardless of the price.. it's not really the logo you're appreciating. It's the way his body looks in that tshirt. The way his butt looks in the joggers too when he turns around to grab something from the fridge.. "Do you have any allergies?" you look up at him quickly, he definitely found you starring at his butt if the smirk is any indication, and you turn pink, say quickly to hide your embarrassment, "Not that I'm aware.", his voice is thick with amusement, "Let's hope we don't find out tonight." and goes back to cooking. "How did we start dating?", you ask emboldened and he doesn't skip a beat or look surprised, "I'm going to be honest, I think the best way is for us to say that we just started to grow close at work and one thing led to another. There's no need to give a lot of details, the less we say, the better it'll benefit us in the end.", and you nod, take a longer sip and stay silent. He's right. The less details you give to anyone, the easier the lie is to keep up. It's the logical, correct approach. And if it's the logical, correct approach.. why are you disappointed that there's no romance to it?

His body is warm against yours, his lips are soft as he kisses your neck. His hands are roaming your body and you moan openly when he sinks deeper, legs tightening around his hips, you cling to him and melt as he whispers in your name in your ear. You're so close. He's so good, he's always so good at everything, of course he'd be good at sex too, but.. he's just so good.. you want him so badly, you want it all so badly, you whine and moan and beg and.... wake up. Startled that your alarm went off. Nearly fall out of bed and look around, confused and frantic, trying to find out where you are. Home. In your bed. Alone, as usual. 'Right..', you sigh and get up, start to get ready for the day as the images play in your mind. You had a lovely dinner, you sat on his couch talking for far too long to the point you lost track of time and he even offered to let you sleep over "I'll take the couch, you can take my bed. I'm a gentleman, always." you can hear his voice so clear and that made your stomach twist again. You didn't want him to be a gentleman.. so you shook your head and told him you'd rather go home, made up the excuse that you can't sleep unless it's in your bed just to hide how disappointed you were. He's.. honest. That's the problem. He's been honest the entire time. He asked you a favour. Asked you to fake a relationship with him just for a while until his family stops bothering him and then he'll inform them you broke up, go back to being solitary as he's content to be. He told you that, in those exact words. And.. it stung. Even if you know that it shouldn't. Because, the truth that you are having a harder and harder time ignoring is: you like him. You had a crush on him before you started working there, you knew who he was. Of course you did. And working closely with him just made it worse. This is making it worse. Because now you get to experience what would be like to date him, yet.. you can't date him. No one can even know about it at work, granted he doesn't seem to care. Everything about this can, and will, end up horribly. Especially for you. You go to work feeling like a zombie, do your tasks mechanically, can't stop having flashes of your dream. How warm he felt, how good he felt. It makes you feverish and you're out of sorts all day. You're distracted and you keep reading the same line over and over until his voice breaks your trance "Are you free on Saturday or no? You never told me." you just nod, absent minded, "Yes, I am. Where do I need to be and at what time?", you're colder to him than he's used to and it makes him frown a little, "I'll pick you up as usual. Would you like me to buy you something to wear? I'm not insulting you, just offering if you'd like a new dress or a new outfit just in case.", that hurts your fragile ego given how you're feeling, "I have enough clothes and they'll suit just fine, thank you. Your parents surely won't be mortally offended to see me wearing high street, not if they're no pomp people the way you said.", he scoffs ,"No, they won't. No one cares about branding in my family, but thanks for thinking that poorly of us.", "Thanks for treating me like your poorly dressed sugar baby in a need of a make-over.", his eyes turn cloudy and he says, curtly, "I wasn't trying to imply that at all, I just made an offer. Given that you're doing all of this for me, I just thought it would be nice if I did something for you.", it offends you more, you interpret that as a being seen as a gold digger, "I don't need your money, I make my own. I can buy myself clothes, even if not with the price tags you can afford. And besides, I don't need anything from you, I agreed because we're good friends, remember?", he just nods and walks away without a single word. And you get up, walk to the bathroom, and lock yourself in one of the cubbies, sobbing quietly, for a good 15 minutes.

The ice has melted by the weekend and you both play the part beautifully. His parents truly are delightful and you do love spending time with them, they're so kind and sweet to you. You warm up more and more around him as the meal goes on and by the end you're sitting in his lap on the couch. It feels so natural. To have his hands on your body, his breath brushing your hair, to have him nuzzle you and place kisses on your temple from time to time. His father's words haunt you even when you're back home, all alone, "I haven't seen you smile like this in so long, son, I'm so happy you found each other." It makes it so much harder. Everything makes it so much harder. Because it starts a flood. The lunch is only the beginning. You start to spend more and more time with him after that. Get invited to go out with his friends and their partners, get invited for family birthdays. You have to watch him be himself around the people he loves the most, pretending to be his loving girlfriend. And you are. At some point it becomes less fake and more real to you. Something changes in him too. He's so free, so tender and touchy with you, his hands always seeking yours, nuzzling you, kissing your face in front of others. You do everything but kiss. Until you're pushed to. Another cousin gets engaged. Yet another family party happens. You're lightly tipsy, keep getting roped into doing shots with his mates. They like you, and you like them too, they're hilarious and they tell you all sorts of embarrassing stories about your "beloved" in his youth. You're just.. happy.. and he's happy too, holding you close, his body tightly pressed to yours, as you dance. You're looking into each other's eyes, you've never wanted to kiss someone as badly as you want to kiss him, and suddenly his cousin, the oldest one, shouts from across the room, "Will you just kiss the girl already!?" and he tells him off, laughing, while you turn bright pink and freeze. Suddenly all of his cousins and mates start shouting, hooting and encouraging him, "Come on, kiss her!", "Are you going to wait until the wedding day to kiss her in front of us!?", "You've never been this shy before!" and he wants to play it off, make sure that you're comfortable and don't feel forced, he whispers softly in your ear "Ignore them, they're being dicks.", but when he looks back at you.. your hands just wrap around the base of his neck, slide up into his hair, pull him down and you kiss him. Hooting and clapping erupts around you but you don't care. You're kissing him. You're actually kissing him. You feel on fire, you've never wanted anything so badly. You melt into him as he keeps kissing you back, hungrily, and it makes you burn even hotter. He pulls back so fast when his cousin, the engaged one, shouts playfully "Get a room!" and you're mortified that you just put on a show. He isn't. Just tells him off and says "You wanted me to kiss my girlfriend, didn't you? There you have it!" and you shiver all over at the mention of girlfriend again. You can't stop looking at him for the rest of the night. You're so into him. You're so desperate. You need him, you just can't play pretend anymore, you need more kisses, more touches, more everything.

It's not your fault that you fall into bed that night, it was simply inevitable. There was so much sexual tension between you after that kiss, or at least you felt it that way. He drives you home and you can't help when you kiss him at your front door. And the way he kisses you back just as quickly, just as desperately, just as willing, has you beg him "Come in. Please.". He does take you inside, you're tipsy in a way that makes you stumble a little, but not in a way that inhibits your judgment. It doesn't matter to him because he refuses to touch you like that, but.. you didn't stand on the same high ground as he did. Touching him made him feel something too, it turned him on and made him break his resolve. Falling into bed felt so natural, so right. Like it was meant to be all along. Feeling him, skin heated, above you as he whispered low in your ear, touching you, kissing you everywhere, sinking deeper and deeper with every thrust, making you arch up into him and moan and whine, his name falling freely from your lips along with begging, driving you both to the brink of sanity and watching it all fall apart as you collided into each other. Two bright balls of fire no longer capable of holding back. It left you euphoric, needing more and more, and he fed off of that energy. You fell apart together more times than you probably should have and you ended up falling asleep on his chest, exhausted, breathless and deeply sated. You dreamt about it in your slept.. imagined the beautiful life you could have together while sleeping safe in his arms... that's why it was extra crushing when you woke up all alone. Naked in your bed, cold in your sheet, with only a small note on your bedside table saying 'I'm so sorry'.

You're focusing extra hard on your work. You sobbed, felt like something was ripped from you, pulled yourself together and got dressed before leaving for work. 'It's fake. It meant nothing at all. You're an idiot. You're the one that fell in love. God, you're so stupid. This is all your fault. Why did you even say yes!? Stupid stupid stupid'. You copy some more lines and scan your work for errors. You might have messed up on other areas, but you're still professional above all. "Hey." his voice feels like a bucket of ice water now, you're no longer happy to have him around. You lift your cold eyes up and pierce him with a glare, "May I help you?" and he at least as the decency to look embarrassed, "I'm so-" you hold up a hand and cut him off, say coldly, "You can cut the crap. I don't give a shit. You can leave and go back to your training. This was it. I'm done, I don't care if you need help. Tell your family that I broke up with you.", you can see panic in his eyes. Good. You want him to hurt the way you're hurting, "I didn't think-" "No, you clearly didn't. I'm glad we agree on that. But none of that matters now because this is over. You got what you wanted and I got what I wanted, so we can both part ways now. Just inform your family that it's over and tell them that I did it. I want them to think I'm the bitch instead, that will make you look better. See? Aren't I nice to you, good friend!" your voice drips with sarcasm and he suddenly turns cold, "Of course. Thank you for your help." and just turns his back and walks away. It's a good thing that the bathroom is so close.. because you're going to hide in the same cubbie as usual and cry all through lunch again.

It's needless to say he feels sick. This isn't what he wanted at all. He freaked out and he knows. But that's exactly why he wanted to talk to you. Because.. he loves you. The previous night was just too much for him. He's been trying to push down all these feelings that have been bubbling inside him and he couldn't push them any longer. He didn't mean for anything to get so far, but you were so.. enticing. He wanted you. He just couldn't push at that anymore. You willingly wanted him too and he gave in. Even for a night, he had to have you, he needed to know what it was like to truly have you. He just wasn't good with the aftermath when all his feelings came crashing down on him and you were sleeping peacefully, no longer an anchor to help guide him on what to do. He responded the way he always does when he's afraid: by growing cold. He left you, all alone, in your bed and only wrote the cowardly note to appease his own conscience that he was doing things to protect you. He's been broken for so long that he doesn't know how to be whole again now. She messed him up, it skewed his views of himself and he didn't want to bring that into your plate. But he's fucked up even more than he would have if he'd been honest and faced the truth. He loves you so dearly, you've brought him so much joy.. he turns the volume higher as that song starts to play, drives home, sings along and feels sorry for himself as he remembers all the moments you've shared. All the times he wanted to kiss you, all the times he's wanted to confess he was falling for you, all the times he's wanted to say 'What if it was real? What if we stopped pretending? What if we truly did this?' but silenced those thoughts instead. He just wanted to talk, wanted to finally expose himself, pull the curtains back and show you all that's him, the rawness that he feels when he's with you. You're like wearing a woolly sweater against his naked skin: it was uncomfortable at first but it brought him so much warmth that he started to miss it even before taking it off. Having to face being in a relationship wasn't easy, it was painful even and he took control of it all on purpose, but as he started to taw out and let you take the wheel it just became easier. You're not like her, you're nothing like her, and you woulnd't hurt him. But he hurt you. It was so easy to love you.. you did it so honestly... with such a freedom and sweetness.. and.. he's in love. And he's waited so long to be in love... he's been so lonely.. he can't. He can't let you go. Not when he's grown this attached to you. Not when you gave him hope.

The incessant knocking on your door is pissing you off. The delivery guy needs to be joking right now, he can't be in much of a hurry. "Fucking hell are you late for the train!?", you swing the door open and it's not the delivery guy, "Yes, I am." he pushes into your house, holds your face in both hands and kisses you fiercely. Resists all your pushes, kicks the door shut behind himself with his foot and doesn't stop kissing you until you grow pliant in his hands, just the way you were the night before. You moan into the kiss and he immediately breaks from you, "I can't tell my parents you broke up with me.", you want to throw him out of your house, you're going to argue but, "In fact, I can't tell anyone that. Because you're not breaking up with me. I'm not letting you.", and he kisses you again, this time even longer, slower and sweeter, and you feel your brain completely dissolve and disappear. "We're not breaking up. We can't and we won't. I fucked up. I was a fucking asshole for leaving like that. I'm sorry. I panicked. I'm in love with you and I panicked.", needless to say that's not what you're expecting to hear at all. You stand there, looking at him like a fish out of water, and he continues, words pouring out of him like the rain that's finally pouring outside after threatening the whole day, "I love you. This started as a way to shut up everyone, to distract them so they would leave me alone again after I told them we broke up and that I just am not meant to be in relationship. But that's a lie. I wasn't mean to be in a relationship with her, but I'm mean to be in one with you. You humbled me. You showed me all these things about myself that I'd never seen. You showed me so much love. You showed me that someone can want me for me. I saw you fall in love with me. I pretended I didn't notice, because it scared me so fucking much. She left me completely fucked up, but you showed me that it doesn't have to be that way. You're honest and you're real, you made me see that I could be too. I want this to be real. I know I've fucked up things with us but I'll spend the rest of our lives correcting this if you let me. So, no, I can't tell my parents that you broke up with me. Because I never even got the chance to really date you, we can't break what never had the room to start."

You swallow and ask softly "What did your ex girlfriend do?", and he inhales sharply, "Fiancée. We even got engaged... because I'm an idiot. She didn't.. she just..", you realise that this is deeper and harder for him to open up about, you take his hand, the way he's done with you many times in the past, "I'm here, remember? You're safe with me. And I'm right here.", you watch him nod slowly, for a split second he looks like a child that's trusting you with all he has, and he sounds more hurt when he speaks again, "We met through a friend. I thought she was the world. I don't know why but it was like... immediate, you know? I just felt like she was what I'd been waiting for all my life. And god, I was so wrong.. but I didn't notice. I trusted her and I did everything she asked me without asking questions. I was eager, I wanted a wife and a family, I don't even know why I was rushing.. probably because I got so swept up in every dream she sold me. But she didn't love me. She just wanted the fame, the cameras.. she wanted the lifestyle, she wanted all this shine.. and that's not the man I am. But I offered it to her still. I proposed because she kept showing me rings and mentioning everyone around us marrying.. I didn't even notice they were older than us, I just started to feel like I had to do it too. We had everything. We got all the details, set all the dates, did the whole rehearsal.. everything. Only two days before we were supposed to marry.. I found her fucking my friend, the same one that introduced us. Turns out they'd been doing that all along.", your heart sinks when he tells you this, you want to find whoever this girl was and hurt her even more than she hurt him, you hold his hands tighter, "I'm so sorry, that's so cruel. You deserve so much better than that." "She told me I didn't. She had told me over our time together that I'm too stubborn, too difficult, too hard-headed to love.. she made me believe she was the only one that could ever put up with me and love me..", you push into his space, hold his face and say softly "You aren't. Yes, you are stubborn. Yes, you're hard-headed and at times that makes you difficult. It's pointless of me to lie to you, but you know what? None of it matters because you are worthy of love. You're easy to love when you're yourself. You're worthy of so much love, because you give so much of it back too. You made it so easy to love you.... I tried so hard to just pretend, to keep it to the lie, to make sure nothing was getting out of control but.. it was so easy to fall in love with you. That scared me so much..", you're so close together, you can feel each others breaths, "You hurt me so badly this morning. I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest. I carelessly let myself fall in love with you and you did that..", his eyes get watery, his voice sounds quieter and shakier, "I'm so sorry. I truly am. I was so scared, but I never meant to hurt you. Please let me make up to you. Let me fix this. Don't push me away now, not when I've finally opened up and allowed you inside. I need you. I don't know what to do without you, it sprung up on me so fast and I'm so lost.. let me fix it, I can fix it, give me a chance. Let me do things right this time, let me show you the love you deserve. Let me make up for everything. Just.. you are my happiness, you're in all of my dreams. Give me a chance to try again, give us a chance at an happy ending. Please.". You're looking into his eyes. All the vulnerability in them for you to openly see. You feel everything he feels right now, as if his emotions are your own, and you nod. Your voice comes out softly, "Yes. I love you. Yes.", and he kisses you like you just made all of his dreams a reality. And maybe.. you have. You'll have a whole life ahead to see if to that.

#i made this far too dramatic..#but oh well welcome to my brain i like strong emotions #as always.. ignore mistakes if you spot them and..#I'M SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG I WRITE EVERYTHING OKAY!? I CAN'T SHORTEN NO MATTER HOW I TRY #YOU *HAVE* TO SEE THE VISION THE WAY I SEE IT TOO THUS SO MANY WORDS ARE REQUIRED #so many words for all this crap in the end anyway... sucks to be y'all reading this and i'm sorry in advance 😭#adventures in a clown's dreams #creative writing with Sunny #football imagine #football one shot

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amtrak12 · 1 year

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omg navigating getting my prescriptions filled through CVS is the absolute WORST for my undiagnosed ass.

#it is in the most inconvenient location with regards to where my house is #my anxiety doesn't like driving all the way across town just for a prescription #it has a drive through but obviously my anxiety prevents me from using it #so I have to walk inside and their store layout sucks and continues to somehow make me uncomfortable 3 years later #because I just never got used to it I guess #but I am forced to use CVS by my insurance company if I want to pay the minimum and get 90 day refills #I am finally trying to switch my prescriptions over to be mailed to me because driving there is so horrendous #but I am bamboozled by the instructions #:/#I have to do it through text??? and I can't do it online #I think I finally figured it out #I found the link hidden in the text they sent me #I've literally never noticed the link before because it's been shortened along with the word Delivery #which now just says DLVY before the link like I'm supposed to automatically know I can click that to set up delivery #like ????#am I just stupid?!#is it really that difficult to have clearly spelled out instructions??!#HOW DOES EVERYONE ELSE JUST FUNCTION IN THIS WORLD LIKE THIS IS NORMAL?#NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE #T_T #I'm pms-ing this week too okay #you guys I can't handle this level of adulting #send me back to the grade school level please

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#dear diary. im sad again wah #agh not sad exactly. just brain fog. i can't focus and im so tired but i haven't even done anything #like ive done not that much this weekend. which sucks bc ive got so much to do.#i didnt even draw too much today bc i was so out of focus. i dont even kno what i did today #i think ive just kinda been laying here since like 4 or 5 and its almost 9 now #so idk. i wish i could control my attention and make it do things #ugh ill try to work on campus tomorrow. at least until 1 when i have to meet a guy abt a phd position #but i feel like im gonna die on campus bc there r ppl there :-( but i cant focus here either #everything's just foggy. i dont kno it might help if i met with my boss so we could talk abt things that need to get done #but idk i dont really have to. im afraid shes gonna tell me she never got the data i sent her at 3am bc she never sent it back #and then im gonna cry. but whatever #next week were going out to the field again. for a week. gathering more samples thst will kill me later #so i might freak out again. but its not as far a drive this time. and the other person were going with knows me fairly well #im not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. ugh.#maybe i should banish myself from tumblr until i actually get things done. thst will increase my suffering but might shorten the duration #blah. i wish i could read. or focus. that would make reading papers less terrible #idk what im even gonna do tomorrow. program a thing. write some stuff. continue to be sad and out of focus #too much thinking abt the future and stressing out abt picking a program to join when i haven't even been accepted yet #i mean. to b fair i got accepted to all the schools i applied to for my masters and i didnt kno shit back then #so i feel like if u have a masters the grad school is like: ok u kno how to do grad school ur in #bc grad school is fucking weird #but im like do i wanna do 3.5yrs in the uk on a riskier program or up to 5yrs in the us where the vibe feels more stable #but idk i havent even started writing for the scholarships and i feel like im too late to apply for one of them anyway bc its like jumping #thru 90 thousand hoops. so idk. idk. i have to create a project proposal 1st and idk what to do.#i mean i sorta kno but like i dont wanna sound dumb so agh. im tired #i want the perfect idea to come sweep me off my feet but i instantly start talking myself out of everything #ugh. actually i kno what happened. i got all excited on Thursday. like properly excited. which i dont like to do bc my mood bottoms out #afterwards. like this. that's why i dont get excited abt things. i keep myself at a stable neutral. a light misery if u will #hhhhhh so im rambling and procrastinating and sad. but tomorrow will b better bc Tomorrow i. will. focus.#unrelated

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thegempage · 2 years

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currently experiencing The Crisis™ (feeling weird about being perceived as a person and like i am constantly doing being a person wrong) (i know this is irrational, but alas, The Crisis™ continues)

#little rock.txt #long tags #and like. i know Why it's happening #so i'm trying to correct course and shorten it #but also. it's already in motion and the unfortunate nature of The Crisis™ makesit a bit self-fulfilling #like oh you thought you were bad at being social? well now you're nervous all the time so you're *definitely* going to fuck something up #and i hate it bcus this round is needling both on and offline environments so i don't even get peace #can't be a student right. can't be an employee right. can't be a friend right.#like!! i know this is dumb!! i know i just goofed a little!! i know i'm just feeling this bcus my brain likes to sabotage itself!!#but man it fucking sucks

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fqiryspit · 1 year

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EREN + FOUR EYES GF <3

eren x glasses!fem!reader

cw: sucking dick, pussy eating, titties being called little, glasses being seen as smth innocent.

eren can't explain it...he just loves your fucking glasses so much.

ok, first of all, he thinks you look adorable in them. and when they knock up and down against your face that's how he knows he's fucking you right.

don't get him started on how you suck his dick. your frames sliding down as you choke on his cock? poor baby :(

-and when you clean them off because he couldn't help but cum all over them.

he is a titty man. he needs titty pics sometimes just to get through the day. so, you sending him a pic with ur little perky titties and your glasses making you look so...innocent? it kills him every time.

wait...are you cleaning ur glasses? how about eren eats you out on the counter rn as your blind ass can barely see him.

fuck he loves eating your pussy. lapping at that little wet clit is all he needs in his life.

ps. he pouts when you have a contact day.

an: this was sooo short but i really wanted to do smth cuz I'm aching for him but I'm so busy rn I can't even do anything. EVERYTHING is shortened because i have acrylics on rn and even though they're short they're fucking killing me

#eren jeager #eren yeager smut #eren yeager oneshot #eren yeager imagines #eren yeager fic #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger imagines #eren jaeger fanfiction

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flowers-and-ghosts · 2 years

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I feel very blessed and lucky to get along so well with my family. I'm on a family vacation and it's just good vibes

#it's me and my mom and my aunt and uncle and my 2 lesbian aunts and their son #we all get along so well i love it #kinda sucks getting misgendered by everyone but it's ok i don't really want to correct them #especially my uncle i don't think he would get it lol #he still calls me by my birthname sometimes which i can't stand so i so correct him on that #with my family i just use a shortened version of my birthname #so it's not too difficult to understand #and I've been going only by that name around them for many years #but yea its really good overall I'm happy :)

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violet-eng · 5 months

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You teach Neuvillette what sex between humans is like. | Sub!Neuvillette x dom!fem!reader | NSFW🔞

someone asked for sub!Neuvillette so here I am.

Summary: You have a sort of crush on Neuvillette, and you've discovered that he's actually the Hydro Dragon. So one casual evening at his house, you slowly tempt him, and end up showing him that his horny human physiology isn't just used during mating season like dragons do.

Warnings: +18, reader!dom! Fingering, riding/cowgirl, piv, nipple sucking, unprotected sex.

MDNI

Average of 3k words ig.

🎨: hamusutaaa_ on Instagram

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Fontaine's Iudex had kept his true identity hidden with arduous caution for long enough... so the revelation of his true form had come as quite a shock to you. Neuvillette was the true face of the Hydro Dragon you had heard so much about as a child ... Now it all made sense, the pieces found their place and fit together perfectly. You had never met such a man before, with a cold gaze and unwavering mettle, fierce convictions and indelible fidelity.

That sense of justice that so tormented the Iudex, that detached perception he possessed about humans -as he called them-, his perspicacity and stubbornness, the truthfulness of his actions... all those attitudes and virtues were indeed incapable of coexisting in an entirely human body.

"It must be exhausting for you to have to coexist with creatures you don't know in their entirety" you say looking out the window of his house.

"On the contrary, I find it very enriching. I did not know such complex beings, or at least not with such closeness" he answers from his armchair, while crossing his arms.

"To that curiosity I owe then the constant storm of questions you ask me when you go to my library?" you ask walking towards him, with a slow step and the gaze fixed on his eyes.

While the revelation of Iudex Neuvillette's true form had shocked you, it had not stripped you of your feelings for him, after all, in your eyes he still looked like a human.

Neuvillette swallows saliva, failing to hide his growing anxiety beneath his stoic facade. He drops his gaze on your figure, which is advancing towards him, he runs his gaze over your face, your shoulders, the curve of your waist and hips... and your legs... he imagines them spread apart for him... he would know how to treat you if given the opportunity to...?

"It seems that Chief Justice is undergoing an inner trial" you whisper resting your hands on your hips, tilting them to the side and smiling.

"This human form is very different from my original form y/n" says the Iudex, voice subtly losing the firmness that always accompanies it, "It comes with sensations I am unaware of... and reactions I cannot control."

Having mentioned that, you notice the growing bulge in Neuvillette's pants, along with his flushed cheeks. Is he humiliated?

You can't help but laugh at the image of Fontaine's unyielding Iudex in front of you, erect and ashamed of his new physiology. Neuvillette rests his elbow on the chair and covers his cheeks with a gentle wave of his hand.

"I guess that doesn't happen to dragons often" you say, shortening the distance between the two of you, "you have nothing to be ashamed of, dear Iudex" you add leaning down, taking his hand and kissing the back of it.

He looks away pressing his lips together, turning only his gaze to observe your cleavage, where he can appreciate the shape of your breasts. He immediately regrets it, and berates himself for behaving like a pervert.

"I have to admit," you continue, moving closer to his ear, warm breath brushing against his earlobe, "that I've always wanted to cross certain boundaries of decency when I see you in my library.

"Y/n~," he lets out, stifling a groan, resting his hand against his length, just short of destroying his pants.

"Allow me to show you, Monsieur Neuvillette, that we humans do not only have sex when we are in heat... that we have sex when we want it and with whom we want it," you drop your hand to his, pressing against his throbbing member.

Neuvillette does not know how, in what way you have acted and why he is in his own bed, naked, completely exposed to you, who admire his figure from your position.

You are standing in front of his bed, observing the Iudex's gifted physiology, his elbows resting on the silk sheets, his hair on his scarred shoulders, his member raised, almost suggesting that you are coming to him.

You undress slowly, without taking your eyes off him, first your blouse, your stockings, then your pants and your shoes, remaining in your underwear. You watch Neuvillette, who can't control his breathing and seems to drip a little when he sees the thin fabric covering your breasts and your sex.

He wants you, fuck, he wants you as much as you want him....

"Since when do you have these feelings for me, Monsieur?" you ask as you remove the clasp of your bra.

"I... ah~" the Iudex can't find the words.

"Don't rush..." you reassure him as you undo your panties, which are sliding down your legs to the floor, you push them aside with your foot.

And when you are completely naked in front of him, you notice how he clasps his hands and puckered his lips, he's as instinctive as you thought.

"My dear Neuvillette..." you whisper as you crawl over and sit astride his form, "so pitiful... poor thing, you have nothing to be ashamed of," you say as you stroke his cheek.

You brush aside the strands of silver hair and tuck them behind his ears, admiring the soft fall of his hair, like a waterfall cascading down a mountain.

With your thumb, you caress his cheek, feeling the warmth of his pink, sweaty, smooth skin. His lips, they are thick and wet, begging you to take them and devour them without hesitation. And his eyes... fuck... you've never seen that pleading look in the Iudex, so fervent and devoted, so eager for you to use him at your whim.

How strange to see him in this state, when he is the one who is often in the position of power in court....

"Y/n..." he whispers, his voice cracking and his eyes watering.

"No Monsieur, don't cry... at least not yet, we don't want it to rain," you say, laughing.

You take Neuvillette's hands, much larger than yours, and place them on your thighs, letting him caress the warm skin under his palms. The Iudex lets out a choked moan, arching his back at the shock as his nipples harden.

You guide his hands over your waist and to the base of your breasts, causing him to squeeze the soft flesh and let out a distinct moan. His grip is precise, and the heat of his fingers makes a flame grow in your center.

"May I?" he asks, wetting his lips with his tongue as he stares at your breasts. You nod at his request, surprised at how quickly he catches one of your nipples in his mouth.

He sucks on your nipple like a hungry infant and bites your skin while making guttural and very embarrassing sounds if anyone else could hear. His hands anchor behind your back, shaping your waist under his nails, which dig gently into your skin in ecstasy.

You throw your head back as you guide his head to your other nipple, which also seeks the attention of his desperate tongue.

"Fuck, Iudex," you moan, clutching at his hair, the skill of his mouth was something you did not expect at all, the way his tongue ran along the tip of your nipple and traveled to its base, leaving soft nibbles on the underside of your breast.

Growing ecstasy makes you guide one of his hands to your center, his soft digits brushing the skin of your lower abdomen, the crease between your thighs and your womanhood.

You slide one of his digits between your folds, parting the wet, glistening vestibule. Neuvillette allows himself to feel the elixir flowing from your pussy, bathing his fingers and yours, the sound of the goo flooding his ears, his lobe reddening at the musical he encourages with the rubbing of his fingers against your center.

He is inexperienced, you know, so you help him find your clit, throbbing anxiously for contact, thirsty to be rubbed without propriety.

"Right there, Monsieur~" you whimper, throwing your head back. The pressure of his fingertips on your nub of nerves makes you roll your eyes and bite your lip, the sensation rising in your belly and your pussy aching to feel more of him.

Neuvillette's fingers are clumsy at first, clouded by the sweet song of your muffled moans, and eventually he loses himself in his own pleasure. He regains his composure and becomes quite apprehensive, sliding his fingers from side to side, in circles, at a steady pace, applying light pressure to your clit.

"Am I doing it right?" he whispers, his face pressed to your chest, the heat of his breath hitting your breasts, coated with his saliva.

"You are a... good apprentice, Monsieur~" you hold back the cry caught in your throat, the fruit of his good skill.

You move your hips slowly, back and forth, increasing the contact of his skin against yours, at the same time he accelerates the movement of his fingers, the fluid of your pussy drowning his digits that are about to bring you to your climax.

"Like that, just like that~" you almost shout, clinging to his back, your hips suddenly bucking over his hand, rather vulgarly, like a dog rubbing.

The heat grows in your belly and between your legs, flooding all your femininity, sending electric waves through your legs, fluttering unashamedly around the Iudex's hips.

"Ah! Neuvillette!" you scream as you feel the flame burst out, your nails digging into his shoulders, marking his pale skin, your core contracting and your substance leaving your insides.

Fuck... Did he make you cum just by rubbing your clit?

"It can't be," you whisper. It's the first time something like this has ever happened to you, and you sense confusion on Neuvillette's face.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, frightened and ready to apologize.

"You have done nothing wrong, my dear Iudex," you say, caressing his cheek, brushing his lower lip with your thumb, circling the softness of that lovely fleshy feature of his that begs for a kiss.

You join your lips to his, it's a wet, passionate kiss, and between each nibble he moans for air. His shy tongue can't resist any longer and intertwines with yours, an erotic dance that reveals the animal side of the oh so subtle Judge.

"You've been a good boy, Neuvillette," you whisper against his lips, "let me show you how good boys like you should be rewarded," you say, pushing his shoulders so that his back slams against the sheets, feeling him almost swallowed by the silk of the sheets.

You lift Neuvillette's arms above his head, trying to grab his wrists with only one hand.

You tilt your head at the image, his muscles tense, sweat running down them, his shoulders defined, with the marks of your nails, and his hands, fingers glistening from the orgasm he just tore from you.

You look down at his length and...what?...you'd swear he wasn't this big a few minutes ago.

"It won't fit," you say to yourself...you've been with big guys before, but this was definitely beyond you. Maybe it's a characteristic of dragons...

"Please...it has to fit," whispers Neuvillette, whose heightened senses have allowed him to hear you, his voice, an almost muffled whimper, choked by his own ecstasy that has crossed his boundaries, completely taking over his human side and showing only his instinctive side.

"I'm going to ride you, Neuvillette, like you'll never be ridden again in your life," you interject abruptly, the words leaving your lips in a frenzy of anguish whipped by desire, the thought of having his thick cock inside you was eating away at your mind.

Your hand is not enough to cradle the base of his member, the fingers remaining spread even as you raise and lower your hand up and down its length. You align his throbbing manhood with your entrance, your pussy contracting against the nothingness in anticipation of what awaits you, your juices rewetting your center.

His cock slides in slowly, parting you completely, with inordinate amplitude. Your walls contract at the colossal invasion, and a moan falls from your lips, almost like a sob.

"So~" Neuvillette moans, his chest rising and falling in desperation, the sensation of his cock being devoured by your hungry pussy driving him wild. "So tight."

This provokes nothing more in you but your lust takes over completely, ignoring the pain, you let yourself fall all over Neuvillette's hips, his cock penetrating your depths, hitting that spot on your cervix that feels oh so fucking good.

You continue to squeeze him and he can only let out a grunt of pleasure, feeling that little pussy all to himself, gripping his length completely, you had been brave to take that risk.

Fuck. What a good time the Iudex was having.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, eyes closed and lips parted, lost in the pleasure you were provoking in him, the way you were using him to your advantage, he had never been in a position like this before, he was always the one....

"Fuck, y/n!" his thoughts were shot down by the circular movement of your hips, the friction of his member against your walls, the oil bathing you both, the sweat falling on your breasts, you are a goddess to him and you ride him like one.

The Judge was vocal, fucking vocal, the jerky movements of your hips, the way you jump on his member, tearing loud moans from his lips, hoarse howls, deep, raspy moans. Your name, overflowing from his bruised throat, makes you move with greater speed, resting your hands on his pecs, nails marking his skin again, making him yours and yours alone.

"Tell me you like the way I ride you," you command, your movements relentless, merciless.

"I~" he babbles, "I like the way you ride me y/n~" he flatters.

Neuvillette becomes a storm of praise as you bend further over him, giving him as much access to your loins as possible. He clings to the sheets, hiding his face in his shoulder.

"Say you're mine," you whisper, your hand around his throat, forcing him to look into your eyes.

"But..." he hesitates. The Hydro dragon cannot belong to anyone, especially a human, it disturbs the free and wild nature of its kind... that means shame and...

"Why do you stop moving?" he asks, almost like a small child, terribly worried.

"I won't let you cum until you tell me..." you say flatly, almost coldly, your gaze hard, almost unrecognizable.

"Please," Neuvillette pleads, grabbing your hips and trying to move them in a pathetic attempt at self-pleasure. "Y/n!," he begs fervently.

Neuvillette is not humiliated by the situation as he thought, damn it... this attitude of yours does nothing but turn him on beyond measure, drowning his insides in flames of desire, of desire to belong to you, to ignore his nature and abandon everything just for you, for your pussy that takes him so well.

"I belong to you, completely, for eternity. My being does not deserve a lover as fervent as you, I refuse to disappoint you in the future, to disappoint or deny you. My fidelity is totally pervaded by you, by your wishes and commands. My dearest y/n, you are my lover, the only one on this earth who can have control over me," he pauses, waiting for you to respond in some way to his plea.

Hours have passed and Neuvillette continues to cum in your insides. His eyes are rolled back, completely empty, tearful, he has come out of himself, your movements have brought him to paradise.

Outside, Fontaine is inundated by torrential rain, the inhabitants unaware that the rain is not due to the season, but to the fact that their respectable judge is getting the fuck of his life.

It's almost inhuman what you've endured on his cock, but the way his seed overflows inside you has proven to be addictive. He is addictive.

"Neuvillette~" you moan, resting your hands on his knees, his tip abusing your G-spot, your pussy inflamed from the abuse of the last few hours.

"I think I'm going to... Ah!~" your last moan is almost a cry of desperation, your I don't know how many orgasms of the night have overtaken you, and this time it is indeed your last.

You let yourself fall onto your lover, who wraps you in a warm, trembling, restless embrace, stroking your hair and your back. You hear the raindrops on the roof of the house, and you lean on your hands to look into Neuvillette's eyes.

You gently wipe away his tears, kissing his cheeks and the remnants of the sobs that the pleasure you gave him caused him.

"Why didn't you do this before?" the judge asks.

"I didn't have the courage," you answer, falling back to rest on his chest, exhausted as he is.

Your heart beats slowly, your muscles succumb to the abuse and your eyes close, lulled by the soft fall of the rain.

"We should do it again tomorrow," the Iudex says.

"Judge's orders?" you ask teasing.

"Tomorrow I'll show you how the hydrodragon fucks that little pussy of yours, " he decrees, his voice firm, the one he uses to deliver the verdict during trials, "you won't be able to walk for days".

#neuvilette smut #neuvilette x reader #neuvillette #neuvilette fanart #neuvilette genshin #genshin smut #genshin impact

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innerslumber · 2 months

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Me imagining Deadpool abusing the TVA in his third movie to pop in on Steve Rogers during Endgame:

Wade: Hey so, I know you got this plan to go back to the past and stay there because the writers are hacks and they can't even keep their own lore intact but LISTEN, how about you hand me those stones and I'll take care of them for ya.

Steve: *staring bewilderedly at the man in Red and Black who just materialized out of thin air* Uh...do I know you?

Wade: Wade Wilson. HUGE fan. I can do this all day. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Til the end of the line. Although that last one isn't gonna be real honest if we let the writers ruin a decade of character development, right? *wriggling fingers* Now let me at them sparkly Josh Brolin Space Kidney Stones.

Steve: Look, I really shouldn't be surprised by anything at this point but this is really important and I can't just hand over-

Wade: You know what else is important? Making sure we keep giving Disney the middle finger despite our inability to stop sucking their tits for content because at the end of the day, we're all victims of capitalism. So just give me the fucking stones, Captain Sexy Ass and not ruin my motivation to finish writing the 300k slow burn best friend soul mate AU Stucky fic that I've been working on for two years. Capiche?

Steve: Uhh...

Wade: *picks up the case with the stones and gives finger guns at a confused Bucky* Buckaroo, just a reminder that the serum shortens refractory periods and Wakanda is reallll nice this time of the year for honeymoon destinations. *Large Obvious Wink*

Bucky: Uhh...

Wade: *random beeping from his toolbelt* Oh gotta go! Have fun! *disappears*

Sam: *giving Steve and Bucky the Stink Eye* How short is your refractory period?

Steve and Bucky: *redfaced*

Bruce: *sighs and walks off to go make a sandwich*

#this was pure crack and i have no regrets lol #deadpool #wade wilson #steve rogers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #bruce banner #stucky #fic drabble #deadpool 3

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transmutationisms · 2 months

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Feel free not to answer this ask so you dont have to step into this particular hornet's nest but do you have any thoughts about people sharing inaccurate science about COVID in order to push for more COVID regulations? I agree that COVID is being neglected and we need better policies but I'm also a biochemist so it pisses me off to see people cite research in a way that makes exaggerated and terrifying claims. Two years ago, I was warning my colleagues against this condescending "just trust the science" approach but now the same crowd pushing that has shifted to pushing "don't trust any of the positive science, only my catastrophic interpretations of it". Can't we mask without also trying to convince each other that COVID is a guaranteed one way ticket to death and permanent disability?

you must be new here haha i swing bats at this hornet's nest like once a month. yeah i think the current state of covid communication sucks a lot. i mean the truth is that "follow the science" is always a disingenuous sentiment; Science doesn't speak, and scientists disagree with one another. and it's naïve to pretend majority consensus is a reliable mechanism to identify truth—anyone who has followed the covid aerosolisation about-face will recall that although linsey marr was not the first researcher to challenge medical orthodoxy on airborne disease transmission, even well into the covid pandemic the idea of aerosol transmission was marginalised by global health authorities because it was politically inconvenient, out of favour with powerful established academics, and reminiscent to some of pre-pasteurian miasma theories of disease. those who would "follow the science" were not presented with a convenient dichotomy between reasonable evidence-backed expert consensus and fringe peddlers of heterodoxy; to evaluate these positions required actually, yknow, reading and evaluating the arguments and evidence from multiple competing positions, and deciding which had the greater explanatory power. which is good epistemological advice only insofar as it's so obvious as to be trite.

fundamentally a huge driving force of this situation is the social, political, and institutional forces that make expert knowledge (a generally good thing) all too often synonymous with inaccessible knowledge. i don't mean inaccessibility caused by knowledge being specialised; obviously this is inevitable to some extent simply as a result of the fact that no one person will grasp the entirety of human knowledge. but the fact that knowledge is specialised, specific, highly technical, and so forth doesn't automatically mean, for example, that it has to be monetarily gatekept from all but a select few with the resources to persevere through a highly punishing, nepotistic, hegemonic university system; this is a political problem, and one that additionally has the effect of enabling and sheltering low-quality work (see: replication crisis) behind the opaque walls of university bureaucracy and the imprimateur of the credentials it grants. in lieu of an ability to actually engage with, read, or challenge much of the academic research being generated on any given topic, the lay public is supposed to rely on signs of reliability like possession of a degree, or institutional reputation. what we in fact see again and again, and with particularly high stakes in the case of something like a pandemic, is that these measures are instruments of class stratification and professional jockeying that don't inherently ensure quality information: MDs can and do peddle anti-vaxx lies and covid / long-covid denialism; the CDC and WHO can and do perpetrate bad and outdated scientific advice, like that masks are unnecessary and isolation periods can be shortened for convenience. many of these are just blatant cases of kowtowing to political pressure, which arises from the capitalist logic that counterposes disease prevention to economic growth.

this all leaves us in a position where it is, in fact, smart and correct to evaluate the information coming from 'official' and credentialled sources with scepticism. the problem is that in its place, we get information coming out of the same capitalist state-sponsored scientific institutions, and the same colonialist universities; the idea that some chucklefuck on twitter is telling you the secret truth just because they correctly identified that the government sucks is plainly absurd. where covid specifically is concerned, the liberalism of academic and scientific institutions is on display in numerous ways, including the idealist assumption, which many 'covid communicators' make, that public health policy is primarily a matter of swaying public opinion, and therefore that it is always morally imperative to form and propagate the most alarmist possible interpretation of any study or empirical observation. this is not an attitude that encourages thoughtful or measured evaluation of The Science (eg, study methodology), nor is it one that actually produces the kind of political change that would be required to protect the populace writ large from what is, indeed, a dangerous and still rampant virus. instead, this form of communication mostly winds up generating social media Engagement and screenshots of headlines of summaries of studies.

meanwhile, actual public health policy (which is by and large determined at the mercy of capitalist state interests, and which by and large shapes public opinion of what mitigation measures are 'reasonable', despite the CDC repeatedly pretending this works the other way round), remains on its trajectory toward lax, open exposure of anyone and everyone to each new strain of covid, perpetuating a society that is profoundly hostile to disabled people and careless with everyone's life and health. this fucking sucks. it sucked that we have treated the flu like this for years, and it sucks that we are now doing it with a virus that we are still relatively immunologically naïve to, and that produces, statistically, even more death and disability than the flu. and it sucks that the predominating explanations of this state of affairs from the 'cautious' emphasise not the structural forces that shape knowledge production under capitalism, but instead invoke a psychological narrative whereby individuals simply need to be sufficiently terrified into producing mass action.

#michael hoerger hate blog #covid

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partycatty · 20 days

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I don’t know if you’re open to requests but me and my friend have this hc and I would like to see your rendition of it. The reader is stressed about their Algebra test coming up and since Johnny has a PhD in quantum mechanics and deals with that stuff, he offers to help. And as the reader is thinking on the problem Johnny gives them, they put the pencil in their mouth seductively but are unaware of it and Johnny gets a little… riled up. And you can take it from there :)

Love ya !! 🥰💜

ough i love me a big smart man

johnny cage > teach you a lesson

notes: my last fic took all of my mental strength for smut for now so it's only gonna be implied

[ masterlist ]

• damn you and your stubbornness, you're here trying to get your engineering degree and the class you put off all these years finally creeps up on you... and you hate math. thankfully, your best friend has a phd (which still baffles you when you think about it too much; not that he's stupid, more that it's so out of left field for him that you thought he was joking when he first told you).

• knocking on his door, he answers so quickly you wonder if he tumbled down the stairs to answer you in record time. he was always ready to do anything you asked of him, so you knew he was the right person to go to

• you explain the situation, about how you're teetering on the edge of just tearing your textbooks apart with your teeth before he slows you down with his hands on your shoulders.

• johnny ushers you in, welcoming you to his dining room after sweeping the various accumulation of stuff littering every surface to a degree.

• johnny's smarter than you gave him credit for, focusing on his well-articulated lecture but you find yourself missing the middle portion of his lessons when his veiny arms are exposed as he rolls up his shirt. his hands were so defined, so strong...

• "are you even listening?" he groans dramatically, waving said head in front of your face. "you wanna pass this class or not?"

• you swallow thickly, though the subject is still shamefully fuzzy in your mind. nodding slowly, johnny pinches the bridge of his nose before resuming.

• "maybe this'll be easier if we..." he leans over your seated form, towering over you as he flips your notes to a blank page over your shoulder. "here." he writes an example equation, a relatively easy one so he could break it down for you.

• shaking the dirty thoughts, you try to pick the equation apart, separating what you know is in the correct order of operations, but you're stumped when the denominators don't add up like they should.

• the tip of your pencil brushes against your bottom lip as your brows knit in thought. it swiped across the width of your lip, pushing in ever so slightly against your teeth as you desperately try to find a way past the confusion.

• johnny falls eerily silent, fists clenching as he breathing feels hot and heavy down your neck. he rubs his face, circling the table with a long sigh. the noise draws your attention, completely oblivious to how tight his pants were from the display.

• "sorry," you sheepishly look down at the paper. "this is... a lot."

• "no... no! you're fine!" johnny snaps himself back to reality at your puppy eyed expression, like his desperation for you was somehow your fault when it was really his for not knowing how to keep things in control.

• you feel smaller as you sink into the chair, trying to retrace your steps through the numbers. instinctively, the pencil finds its way to your mouth again and you gently suck on the shortened eraser, your tongue pressing against the head of it as the multiplication takes its time in your mind.

• johnny chokes on air, punching his chest to hide his flustered face. he can't even look at you or you might notice the steam from his ears.... why were you here again?

• "you're not helping," you remind him teasingly, and he jogs to your side with a cool breath to regulate his temperature. "did i do this right?"

• johnny leans down, his chin almost on your shoulder as he inspects your work. the error stands out to him at lightning speed and he pulls at your wrist, abruptly tugging the pencil from your mouth and slamming it against the table.

• "there," he huffs out, circling the error with his finger. "five over nine. not nine over five." his eyes flick between the back of your head and the pencil, and the way the eraser shines. he might pass out if he thinks too hard about it.

• he should've picked an easier equation so you'd stop thinking so damn hard about this, he thinks. the pencil wanders back between your lips and it's when you bite down on the pink tip his flat palm slaps the table, making everything rattle. you jump and look up with a shocked expression.

• "can you... not." he breathes, cheeks red and brows furrowed.

• "not... what?" you look down, maybe you had a bad habit in the math process?

• "don't do that." he's being vague, it's getting on your nerves.

• "you're gonna have to be clearer."

• "keep that thing away from your mouth," johnny points at your fingers twirling the pencil, an accusatory finger firm like he caught it committing a crime.

• "the pencil?" you're caught off guard, wondering what his issue is.

• "yes, the damn pencil!" he groans, running a hand down his face. "can't think straight for a single second when you're... you know."

• it clicks in your head, what he's asking of you. it flusters you but also fills you with an egotistical desire. you always had a lingering crush on your best friend, but you never wanted to act on it out of fear of losing the best thing that ever happened to you. johnny's deep, dark voice makes your core stir as you think about the possibilities, how to test the waters from here.

• you slowly place it flat against your tongue, trying to ignore the taste as you relish in the way johnny twitches his eye at the sight. he wants to look away but you're forcing him to, that knowing glint fatal for his heart. the thought of your tongue holding the heavy weight of his thumb, or worse, his dick, is driving him up the wall.

• johnny stomps beside you, grabbing your wrist and pulling the pencil away, managing to throw it out of your grasp and capturing your lips with his own as the pencil rolls off on its own adventure.

• his kiss is consuming, far too much for your mind as you grow dizzy at the loss of breath. his hands pull at your face and neck, trying to squish your face against his as he swallows every whimper and gasp for breath you expel.

• just as he pulls away to get oxygen, his thumb slides between your lips and presses against your tongue, your hot and heavy breath driving him wild.

• "are you really trying to do this to me?" he asks as your lips wrap around his finger, sucking gently. his eyes flutter shut and he groans, nodding downward with his head.

• "maybe," you quietly reply through his finger, sinking to your knees in front of him, sliding your hands up his outer thighs. you're perfectly in line with his crotch, but your eyes are too busy admiring the flustered actor above you as he looks down his nose. he pulls his thumb away, groaning at the thin trail of saliva that falls down your lip from the loss.

• "i'll teach you a lesson," he reaches for his belt buckle, the clinking of metal dulling every sense but your hearing.

• you can study later... probably.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #johnny cage #mk1 #johnny cage x reader #johnny cage smut #mortal kombat smut #marley writes ☆

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rrriver · 23 days

Text

Swisstom sloppy fuck?

Cw: daddy kink, lingerie, phantom is intersex here so cock and cunt are used (thank @amara-among-the-stars ) , desperation, it's porn guys what do you expect

Wc: 1,354 because I have a problem

"Cariño" is Spanish for darling or dear, it can also be shortened to cari

"You okay in there?"

He can hear the quint ghoul shuffling around in the bathroom, the smell of anxiety and desire mingling into something divine. He waits for a response as he leans back against his hands, his legs hanging off the edge of the bed. He stares at the ceiling, wondering what's waiting for him behind that door. Phantom had found him in the library, had pushed himself up against the multi ghoul while he tried to convince him his chores could wait, that he had a surprise. That was nearly 20 minutes ago.

"Y-yeah, just....Swiss?

"Yeah?"

The shake in his voice is endearing, how shy he is, how eager he is for approval.

"Can you just keep your eyes closed? Please?"

Swiss smiles to himself, shutting his eyes as he shakes his head.

"Okay, they're closed. Now are you gonna keep hiding in there?"

He waits, listening for movement, anything really.

Phantom takes a deep breath as he steadies himself, doing a once over in the mirror before turning to the door. Dew had said this was a part of the fun, the anxiety. But right now all he can think of is if it's too late to back out, to send swiss away and forget it ever happened. It's irrational, really, he spent so much time with Dew, trying to find the perfect set, the perfect color, the perfect measurements. Besides, if he backs out now he'll never hear the end of it.

So he opens the door, taking cautious steps towards the bed.

"Can I look now?"

Phantom hates that his smile holds so much power over him, that the crooked little grin sets his blood ablaze and adrenaline chasing the sweat down his back. He sure Swiss can hear his heart beat, he can feel it in his throat as it is.

"No. Not yet."

He climbs into the Multi"s lap, pulling his hands so they rest against the fabric on his waist. He takes his time pressing his lips against Swiss' jaw, placing a kiss against the corner of his mouth, over his cheekbones. He feels the calloused fingers toying with the straps, slipping under them as he rubs his thumbs against his skin.

"Mmmmm can I look now?"

They're fully whispering now, as if anything above barley audible will ruin the magic.

"No."

He moves to mouth along the lean column of the multus neck, sucking marks into his skin to show he was here. Swiss tilts his head, baring his neck for easier access as he lets his hands wander, letting his mind wander. What color? Pink maybe, perhaps a shade of purple to match the heat in his cheeks. He knows dew would think of the details like that. Phantom tangles his fingers in the older ghouls' ornate locks, rolling one of the many clasps between his fingers as he gives a tentative roll of his hips, testing the waters and earning a stilted groan in return.

"Do you like it?"

His warm breath ghosts over his collarbone, sending a shiver up his spine as he matches each hip roll with one of his own.

"Like it? I can't even see it."

Phantom giggles, leaning into the mystery as he guides Swiss' hand up his sternum, over the cup of the bralette.

"It's yellow."

He rumbles against the shell of his ear, nipping lightly when he chuckles.

He traces over an embroidered flower, leaning down to pepper kisses of his own against the younger ghouls shoulder.

"Not the color I'd have guessed."

"Would you have preferred pink?"

To be quite honest, Swiss can't bring himself to care with the way his pants are filling, not with the way his mouth floods in anticipation. Especially not with the wet spot he can feel seeping through his jeans.

"Hmmm, I'm not sure, you'll have to let me see."

He thinks about it, chewing his lip as he studies the multi's face.

"Okay."

He groans when he finally gets to see the sunflower yellow sitting in stark contrast against the quints lilac skin, how it makes his blush stand out in ways he never knew were possible. He looks him up and down, growling at the thin mesh fabric that barely covers his leaking cock.

"Fuck you're so hot."

He leans in, catching Phantom in a kiss much rougher than before, the desperation practically dripping from his teeth as he licks into his mouth, his hips stuttering with need. He picks him up and tosses him on the bed, crawling over him as he struggles to get his pants off.

Phantom gasps when he lands on his back, Swiss looming over him as he slots himself between his legs.

“Off….take it off.”

He wines against His lips as he tries to push his shirt up, desperate for the feel of Swiss’ warm skin against his own, desperate for more even though they've barely begun.

“Hold on, I'm getting there.”

He laughs when Phantom whines in response, still tugging at the cotton as he pulls him into another kiss. Swiss pulls back, ripping his shirt off and throwing it behind him, his jeans not far behind as he eyes Phantom's cunt. His slick is seeping through the mash already, dripping down onto the bed and it makes Swiss hungry. He watches as the quint spreads his legs a bit further, arching his back to give a better view.

He shimmies himself down the bed, mouthing along the smaller ghouls chest, his stomach, over his hips before he darts his tongue out to kitten lick at Phantom's cock, groaning at the taste.

“Fuck please,”

He thumbs over his entrance, still suckling at him through the skimpy thong.

“Please what?”

Phantom throws his head back against the mattress and all but wails out a “Please daddy,”

It takes Swiss by surprise, expecting anything but that and he has to reach down to squeeze the base of his cock to not blow right then and there.

“Say it again.”

He growls more than he says it, demanding more than asking. He knows it's a dangerous game to play, but he's never heard the quint say something like that and he knows this will live in his mind for years to come.

“Please, daddy please fuck me….need it, I need you.”

Swiss pushes the pretty yellow panties aside and buries his face in Phantom's cunt, wrapping his fingers around his weeping cock as he drinks him in like it's his last meal. His wails echo around the room, dancing through Swiss’ ears like opera music and he thinks he could live here. Could stop time and stay here for the rest of his life, he doesn't need anything else. He would happily drown himself in his mates slick if allowed.

He grinds his own hips against the bed, chasing any kind of relief he can get. He moans when he feels the silky muscles contract around his tongue, trying to suck him in even further, trying to keep him there. When he looks at Phantom through his lashes, wishing he could have the image as a mural in his room. His hair is plastered against his forehead with sweat, drool starting to slip from the corner of his mouth as his eyes roll back, showing only slivers of his obsidian irises.

“Gonna cum for me? Yeah that's it, show me, let me see you fall apart.”

He twists his wrist once, twice, a third time before Phantom keens, no doubt seeing stars against a hazy background.

He whines when Swiss let's go, reaching his clammy hands out to pull him back.

“No, more fuck I need more.”

Swiss leans over him, smiling at the tears starting to form.

I wonder how much more there'll be.

“Who said I was done with you yet, Cariño?”

He pushes the damp hair from his eyes, ducking down to lap up the salt water.

He pushes in with one quick movement, and the noise that falls from the quints lips will haunt him for the rest of his days.

“We're just getting started.”

#cw: daddy kink #shitghosting #the band ghost #riverwritesbullshit #nameless ghouls #the band ghost ficlet #swiss ghoul #phantom ghoul #aeon ghoul #kay back to hiding i go

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