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#so that's like part one and the party is the day after
dreaming-medium · 1 day
Text
No Contact
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Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader
Word Count: 7.6k
Tags: ANGST with a happy ending, amnesia, memory loss, grief, pining, yearning, hurt/comfort
Summary: It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen. You weren't supposed to be in that car, but you were. When you lose your memories from the incident, Chan is ordered to stay away for your recovery's sake; but it takes a larger toll on him than anyone could have imagined. Until one day, he just can't take it anymore.
A/N: inspired by this post. Angst ahoy <3 I had too much fun writing this. Maybe I like writing emotions. Enjoy <3
—————————————————————
No contact. That’s what Chan was told was best for you. That’s what was going to help your healing process. 
No contact whatsoever. No texts, no calls, no little surprise visits. No fucking contact. None. 
He was told it would just hurt you if he talked to you— that he would just make it worse. That you would only become more confused and upset. It would be absolutely detrimental for him to see you.
Hell, it might even make you worse. 
It’s killing Chan slowly. Every single day feels like torture for him. The days get exponentially worse. He feels like a hollow shell of his former self, like the wind goes through him when he steps foot outside. It feels like his shoulders are permanently sagged forward. 
But the worst part is that you don’t even know it. You don’t know how he’s collapsing inwards like a dying star. 
It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen in years. A friend was driving you home that night; Chan had begged to be the one to pick you up, but no, you said it was fine, the friend was heading that way anyway. Why make the unnecessary trip?
You told him he needed sleep. Always putting his needs before your own. You always did. 
He should’ve put up more of a fuss. He should’ve put his foot down. He should’ve already been outside the house in his car with the passenger seat warmer on by the time you left that stupid party. 
He should’ve gotten out of the car and opened the door for you and had a cold bottle of water waiting in the cup holder. He should’ve kissed you on the cheek and asked you all about your time. He should have been there.
But he wasn’t. 
A drunk driver slammed into the passenger side of your friend’s car at a speed that you shouldn’t have even survived.
Miracles do happen, though. But what a price to pay for a miracle. 
For as long as he lives, Chan will never forget the sheer panic and terror he felt when the call came in from your mother. You were already at the hospital undergoing emergency surgery.
He was the last to know. 
After all, he wasn’t your emergency contact. He’s only your boyfriend.
Was. Was your boyfriend. Was? Is that the right word? He isn’t. But he is. There was no breakup. 
Is that what he’s going through right now? A breakup? 
You’re not on a break. But what is this? What is this loss? This severance is so horrible. 
It’s fucked up. It’s a fucked up, amnesia induced breakup. 
Memory loss is a funny thing. Doctors scratch their heads and shrug their shoulders without any answers. The brain is a tricky thing. 
Chan did what he was allowed to in that hospital. He sat in that stark white room under those harsh LED lights and he waited until you were awake. He even waited much longer after that because only two visitors were permitted inside your room at a time— and he wasn’t about to force his way in and kick one of your parents out. 
He let your sister go in first. He even let your cousin go in before him. But when it was finally his turn… 
He never got to see you. 
“The last five years?” Chan asked with a tight throat. Did he even have any more tears left to cry? How is there any liquid left in his body?
“She says doesn’t remember anything, Chan.” Your mother’s voice was just as hollow as his. “She was asking about her freshman roommate.”
A doctor stood in between him and your mom. “It’s best if we don’t throw everything at her at once. Amnesia victims rarely never get their memories back, but we’ve found that it needs to happen organically. Seeing her will overwhelm her and that could stunt the healing process.”
Chan’s mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out at all. His heart may have stopped. 
Does that mean…?
No…
“He can’t see her at all?” Your mother asked quietly. “Not even to visit? He doesn’t have to mention he’s her boyfriend, he can just say that he’s a friend, or a coworker, or—“
The doctor cut her off. “No contact. Not until we’re a bit through recovery and she’s starting to get her memories back.”
Chan was suddenly in a chair. 
When did he sit down? The Doctor’s hands were on his shoulders and he was looking down at him with a sympathetic stare.  
“It’s not forever, son.”
Chan was only able to nod. His mouth was so dry, the back of his neck felt clammy. His head was spinning.
Books often speak of moments as ‘Earth-shattering’. Of moments so catastrophic that the planet stops spinning on its axis and time stands still.
He gets it now. 
The doctor spoke a few more words to your mother before walking away. She looked down at Chan sadly. 
Your mother sat on the chair next to him and wrapped him up in a hug. His world was falling apart around him. You were slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t even see you.
Hot tears poured down his face while he sat there with his head in his hands. Why does it feel like he’s losing you? Why is this the only way? Why are these the cards that are being dealt?
Why didn’t he pick you up from that fucking party?
“She loves you, Chan… she’ll come to her senses, I promise, I promise.”
It’s been two months, one week, two days and eight hours since he’s talked to you. That long since he’s known peace. Since he’s known any sort of comfort. 
You’re the last thing he thinks about before he closes his eyes at night and the first thing he thinks about in the morning. No matter how many times he wakes up and feels the cold bed next to him, it never dulls the ache in his chest.
It’s not a healthy mindset, he knows. And it’s not that you were codependent on one another, that’s not it at all. You were just… ripped away from him. 
Food has no taste. The sky isn’t as blue as it used to be. Clouds don’t make fun shapes like they did with you by his side. The stars are still in the sky, he thinks, he hasn’t had the guts to look at them. 
God, you love the stars so much. You always talked about how pretty they are— how absolutely breath-taking you think the universe is. Chan would simply listen, he would always listen. All he ever wanted to do was listen.
How is he supposed to look at anything the same way? How is any day supposed to be normal when half of his life is suddenly missing. What’s the point of making music if you’re not there to listen to it?
5:00 PM is the hardest hour to get through. You don’t open the door to his apartment when you get off work. You don’t tell him about the things that happened during your shift. 
He can’t leave little snacks out on the counter for you to eat when you get home like he used to. 
Mice would get to it before you did. 
His lonely apartment is slowly losing your smell. He could spray your perfume, sure, you keep a bottle at his place, but it’s not the same. You somehow made the scent sweeter by letting it linger on your skin. 
All of your old toiletries are still there where you left them. Your spare toothbrush has been bone dry and untouched since 9:28 AM that morning. Your shampoo bottles are still half full and waiting for you on your shower shelf.
It had rained a few days before your accident. You had started a puzzle on his dining room table that day– you told him it was the perfect rainy day activity. It was a picture of different comic book covers. It’s now collecting dust. Unmoved and unsolved. 
Just like him.
It was a battle and a half to throw away your leftovers from two nights before your car accident. He felt like he was throwing away your normal life, your tiny domestic traces. 
He didn’t want to cleanse you from his life, but you were washing away. Your ghost was eroding with time. 
Your spare car keys are still hanging on the key ring. Your rain coat is on the third hook draped right over your work bag. Even your phone charger is still plugged into the wall on your side of the bed.
Did you know you forgot to put your favorite gold earrings on that night? You left them on the nightstand. They’re still there, don’t worry. Right next to the glass of water you drank half of. 
Do you even remember them…? He got them for you for your first Christmas together. 
There are so many signs of a life interrupted integrated so deeply into his. 
You’re a clock whose hands stopped suddenly at 1:24 AM. 
This sort of haunting is unbearable. You’re not a phantom in his life, though. You’re something so unattainable that he had once but it was taken away with empty promises of return. 
It’s like you’re a shiny diamond hidden away beneath lasers and traps like in those stupid, cheesy spy movies you love so much. 
Do you know what he would give to watch one of those with you in his arms right now? 
Chan feels like he’s banging on the glass of a one sided window, screaming for you to remember him. Meanwhile you’re on the other side only staring into a mirror, trying to pick up the pieces from before. 
Your mom sends him updates on your condition all the time. He knows that you started working at the local library about three weeks ago. 
You had worked there in college before graduating and getting your last job. It was one of your favorite jobs you ever had. That library was so special to you. 
To him too. 
It’s the library where he first met you. 
The same library Chan finds himself in front of now. 
He shouldn’t go in. He can’t go in. He absolutely should not go inside. 
Bang Chan you should not and cannot go inside this library. Under no circumstances should you step foot inside this building where your other half is working. 
Absolutely not. 
The door emits a soft ding when he opens it. Electronic. Quiet. Peaceful. 
There’s a certain type of silence that sits in a library. It’s closer, thicker— warmer. It’s an expected silence. They’re supposed to be quiet. 
Chan can hear his sneakers take every step on the carpeted floor. There’s no one sitting behind the front desk; that’s where you usually were. 
His eyes look all around, but there’s no sign of you anywhere. A few people toddle around the shelves. 
There’s more soft beeping coming from the self checkout. That’s new. They didn’t have that when you worked here years ago. You probably hate it. 
On the day he met you, you were wearing a pair of dark green pants and a black long sleeve shirt. Your hair was clipped behind your head and pieces were falling over your face. 
Chan was only in the library to look for the bathroom. He was on his way to lunch with a friend, but he just had to stop somewhere. The library was the closest option. 
When he had heard the sound of books falling, he investigated and found you in the center of the carnage, the glasses on your nose sat crookedly and you rubbed your head. 
Your eyes met. He was a goner. 
How disgustingly poetic that he finds himself here now. Where he really shouldn’t be. He was quite literally prescribed a restraining order against you. 
Chan meanders around with his hands in his pockets, the silence getting louder and louder the further he gets inside.
Maybe you’re not working today? 
No one is anywhere to be seen. He’s checking down all the aisles but he doesn’t see you anywhere. 
Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not here. He’s not supposed to see you anyway. He’s breaking the doctor’s rules by doing this anyway. 
He needs to leave. He needs to get out of here. 
His feet stop in front of the very aisle where he saw you for the first time. 
Empty. 
You-less. 
If he thinks hard enough, Chan can picture you in front of him, laughing quietly with the most adorable, embarrassed blush on your cheeks. 
What a moment. 
Is it possible to spend eternity in that moment? Obviously internal clocks can be rewound, paused, flipped every which way; can he go back to that day? Can he go back to the day where every single poem suddenly made sense?
He would take any day, really, any day that had you in it. Birthdays, holidays, late night dates, Hell, he’d even take a day where he only saw you when you dropped off a drink for him in his studio. 
Anything, he would take anything just to see your smile bloom on your face while he watches.
“Can I help you find something?”
His breath catches in his throat, it feels like he’s physically punched in the chest. That voice. That beautiful, melodic voice. He hasn’t heard it in person in months, only in videos he had on his phone. 
Slowly, Chan turns to face the source of his favorite pitch. 
His throat immediately tightens. 
There you are. You. Beautiful you. 
Standing right there. Looking at him like a complete fucking stranger. 
“I…” his voice is hoarse. Chan can feel the tears in his eyes begin to form. He didn’t think this through, did he?
You’re staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to say anything. You’re waiting, come on, Chan. Speak up. Say something. 
Looking up at the shelf, you look back down at him with a smile. “A history guy, hm?”
No.
“Yeah.”
You giggle. “I always had a thing for History.”
He knows. 
“Really?”
“Mhmm.” You respond with a grin. 
Specifically Ancient Rome. He knows. 
You continue. “Specifically Ancient Rome.”
Chan nods and clears his throat. His palms feel so sweaty. His chest is almost panting. Every single cell in his body just wants to lunge forward and wrap you in a hug. 
He wants to bury his face in your neck and sob while you hold him. He wants to tell you that he missed you so much. He wants to tell you how your pillow is losing the scent of your shampoo. He wants to tell you that he’s been DVR-ing your favorite show so that you can watch it later. He wants to tell you about his day. He wants to kiss you until you’re breathless. He wants you to hear the new song he’s been working on.
But—
“If you need anything, let me know.”
You start to walk away.
Chan feels his heart physically break. It’s happening again. He’s on the other side of that one way mirror. It’s happening again! No, no please. 
His eyes widen, the words get caught in his throat. Fuck, Y/N, please!
“W-Wait!” he says quickly. 
You turn around with a curious look. 
“The Odyssey,” he blurts. “Where uh… where can I find it?”
Your eyes light up. “Oh, I love The Odyssey.”
He knows. You collect different translations of it. 
“I collect different translations of that book, here I’ll show you where it is.”
With a little hop in your step you lead him towards all the classics. 
He watches you like you’re an oasis in the desert— maybe it’s because you are. You’re what he’s been crawling towards for two months. 
You lead him all the way to the shelf where the Odyssey lives. Your nimble fingers reach forward and grab one of the copies. 
Green nail polish. You still paint your nails green. You picked that habit up a year after he met you. 
The memories have to be there, Y/N, they have to be. Chan bought you that first bottle of green nail polish as a joke on Saint Patrick’s Day. 
Y/N, please. 
“This translation is my favorite,” you whisper and hand him the book. 
Chan smiles sadly and takes the book from you, unable to meet your eyes. He knows if he gazes into those gorgeous eyes that he’ll lose it. He’ll fall to his knees and cry. 
“Thank you,” he whispers back. 
You stand there for a moment, he can feel your eyes on his face. He always has been able to tell when you were looking at him, it’s a little, secret superpower. 
From foot to foot, your weight shifts. 
You only do that when you’re confused. Why are you confused? Y/N, are you confused?
“I’m sorry…” you start, sounding so unsure. “You remind me of someone…”
It feels like a defibrillator was hooked up to his chest. Chan’s eyes widen and he finally looks up at you. 
You’re looking at him so carefully. He can see the gears turning in your head. Your tongue pokes out of your lips and wets them. 
Y/N, please. 
“I just… I can’t figure out who. Do I… do I know you? I was—” You stop yourself. 
Fuck. Fuck! What was he supposed to say? Fuck! 
Chan wants to scream. He wants to grab you by the shoulders and cry that he’s your soulmate, that he’s the person that knows you better than anyone else in this world. 
Yes, you do, you do know him. And he knows you. He knows how you take your coffee, what movies make you cry, what color jell-o is your favorite. 
He knows that you never wear matching socks and you always lift your feet when driving over railroad tracks. 
He knows that when you were 6 you ran into the corner of a cabinet and that’s how you got that scar next to your eyebrow. 
Chan knows that your entire life you wanted to be an author but you’re so scared of failure that you decided not to chase after it. 
He knows everything. 
“I just have one of those faces, I guess.” It comes out of his mouth so strained. 
You stare back at him so carefully. Do you see right through him?
“Maybe,” you say slowly. You don’t believe him. He knows that tone. You absolutely do not believe a word he’s saying. “Are you sure?”
Chan swallows, he grips the book in his hand tighter. The lump in his throat almost doesn’t go down, more tears prick at his eyes. 
“I would never forget a face like yours,” he chokes out. 
Your eyes widen and you blush, looking to the side with a smile. You always were a sucker for cheesy compliments. 
After thinking for a second, you reach into your pocket and take out a little slip of paper. 
“Here,” you say after scribbling something down. Holding it out, Chan sees it’s your phone number. He has it memorized. “If you ever need more books to read… or find… call me.”
Chan takes the paper with a racing heart. He gives you a smile, his dimples showing. “I think I will,” he whispers to you. 
Another few moments pass of you just staring at him before you nod and giggle nervously. “Well, I gotta get back to work, so..”
Chan nods and moves to the side. You walk past him. 
Your perfume curls around him like a blanket and he craves that sweet serenity he finds when he holds you close and breathes you in. 
Three steps after you pass him, you turn around. “Oh, I didn’t catch your name.”.
“Chan,” he answers softly. 
“Chan,” you repeat. It goes right through him. 
Your voice. Your sweet, beautiful, melodic voice. Finally, he heard you say his name again.
“I’m Y/N,” you whisper to him with a friendly smile. 
“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Chan has to physically force the word ‘meet’ out of his mouth. 
“You too, Chan.”
And with that, you were gone, retreating back into your fortress of papyrus. 
—————————————————————
A bad idea was going into the library that day. 
An even worse idea was texting you the day after to ask how your day is going. 
And then an absolutely fucking idiotic move was asking if you wanted to go to dinner with him. 
And the worst part? You said yes. 
So, now here Chan was, standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom getting ready for what you thought was a first date, but to him was just a dinner date. 
How is he supposed to do this? He’s not, that’s how. 
Chan fiddles with his bracelet right before his phone rings. 
His heart drops when he sees the caller ID, your mother. 
“Ah, fuck…” he whispers before grabbing his phone. Of course you were going to tell your mom, you tell your mom everything. 
“Hello?” he asks warily into the phone. 
“Hi, Chan,” she says slowly, she sounds nervous, why does she sound nervous. 
“How are you? Is everything okay?”
“It’s Y/N…” Her voice lowers. Chan’s heart drops. “Before you panic, she’s okay! It’s um.. she’s getting ready right now… for a date…”
Chan isn’t moving. Yes, he knows you are. He knows it. But words won’t form in his mouth. 
“Channie.. I’m starting to wonder if that doctor isn’t right.. I can’t stand the thought of her finding someone else when you’re waiting for her… I tried to talk her out of it but she just seems so floaty and happy. God, I feel sick to my stomach.”
His jaw clenches. Now or never. 
“It’s with me,” he blurts. 
Your mom goes silent. Then a huge sigh comes out of her mouth. 
“I wish I could say I’m angry,” a little laugh follows it. “I think I’m only angry that you didn’t say something.”
He tells her everything, down to the way he pretended not to know you. 
“Well, you’re going to have to tell her eventually.” Your mom sounds unsure, herself. 
“Or maybe she’ll remember me.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
Chan sits down on the edge of his bed. His eyes are staring at the wall, unfocused. 
She’s right. What if you don’t? 
“Then, I’ll just … do it all again.”
Silence greets him on the other side of the line. Another tiny laugh comes from your mom. “I always knew you two were perfect together. Just like two magnets, you always come towards one another.”
—————————————————————
“I’ve never eaten here before,” you say with a chipper smile on your face from across the table. 
Yes, you have. 
“Really?” Chan asks, taking a sip of his water. 
“I pass it all the time and always wondered how the food was.”
He looks back down at the old menu. 
This restaurant was more than special to him. It’s where he took you on your first date. It’s an old fashioned burger joint with the greasiest, most delicious French fries in town. 
The first time you guys came here, you talked and talked until the place closed. And even after that, you drove around and talked until it was late. 
“I’ve been here a few times, it’s really good. The milkshakes are some of the best I’ve ever had.” Chan’s sweaty hands fiddle with the menu. 
He’s more nervous now than on the first date. 
“What’s the best one?” you ask with a smile. 
A small laugh comes out of his nose. “The peanut butter one.”
It was your favorite. 
“Yeah but then you can’t have any,” you say so nonchalantly, looking down at the menu. 
His eyebrows knit together. “What?”
“‘Cause of your allergy.”
He stops. 
You stop. 
He has a peanut allergy. Chan has a peanut allergy. 
His lips purse like he’s going to say something but you beat him to the punch. 
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. “I… I don’t know why I thought that.” Your hands grip the menu a little tighter. “Maybe I’m thinking of someone else?”
Chan shakes his head. “No, no, it’s okay. I… I do have a peanut allergy. Maybe I said something before?”
You stare at him for a long second before looking back down at the menu once more. “Yeah… um. Maybe.”
He definitely did not say something. 
Dinner continues on. Chan listens to you talk and pretends he’s never heard your stories before and he tells you ones he knows he’s said before. 
The entire time, you were beaming at him, just like you used to before the accident. Your face never loses its constant happy glow. He’s not sure that the muscles in your face know how to frown.  
You’re the last two people in the restaurant. The staff doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe they recognize you both. Maybe. 
A lull dips into your conversation. Both of you know you should leave. Neither wants to. Especially the broken man sitting across from you. 
Chan takes the last sip of his drink. The bill has been paid for about an hour at this point. You’re looking down at your lap with a pink flush on your cheeks. 
You bite your lip and look up at Chan carefully. 
“Are you… are you sure I don’t know you, Chan?”
He stares at you. Did you know that you always bite your lip like that when you’re confused? 
“I just… I really feel like I know you. There’s just…” you pause, trying to find your words. He knows you want to tell him about the accident. He knows you want to say it but you don’t want to weird him out. 
What the fuck is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to tell you? 
“Something happened to me a little while ago, my brain’s been… fuzzy since then,” you explain shyly. “I know you said you don’t know me but I just… I can’t help feel like that’s not true.”
Chan’s jaw clenches, his knee bounces anxiously underneath the table. His head turns to the side in his typical nervous tick. 
Your mother’s words echo in his mind, his tongue suddenly feels like it’s swelling to the size of his mouth— making him unable to speak. Should he tell you? Is it now or never?
“I don’t mean to make it weird, Chan.”
He licks his lips and opens his mouth. 
Your phone rings. 
A sigh of relief comes from deep within Chan’s chest. 
Reluctantly, you pick up the phone and hold it to your ear. “Hello? …. No, I didn’t know…. Yeah, of course…. Sure… Yeah, see you tomorrow.”
Just as quickly as you answered the phone, you hang up. 
“Sorry,” you mumble. “Someone called out of work for tomorrow, they need me to come in.”
“Do you need to get going?” Chan asks, looking down at the time. It’s well past 10 o’clock. 
A sad smile crosses your face. “I mean… probably.” The time on your watch flashes back at you. He can tell you don’t want to go home yet. 
“Come on, Y/N, I’ll walk you home.”
Chan’s already standing up from the table, picking his jacket up off the back of his chair. You watch his movements and slowly get up, your movements screaming reluctance. 
—————————————————————
It’s three dates later when the two of you are walking down the street towards your house. It’s only a few blocks from here, but you both decide to take a tiny detour through the local park. 
“I have to say I’m a little excited to meet your friends,” you giggle. “I hope that’s not weird.”
You already have. 
“It’s not weird at all. I’m sure they’d like you.” Chan nudges your arm with his elbow, his hands staying in his pocket. 
“Changbin sounds like a blast.”
He was your favorite before.
“The two of you…” Chan thinks over his words carefully. “The two of you would definitely cause some mischief.”
And you have. 
A tiny lull of comfortable silence falls over the conversation. 
Both of you meander towards the swings. A cold wind blows through the air but neither of you react to it. 
With a tiny giggle, you sit down on one of the swings and hold onto the chains on the side. 
You are just so… you. You’re just your authentic self. Amnesia or not, you haven’t changed a bit. It’s so charming.
“I can’t remember the last time I went on the swings.” You start to move your body back and forth, not too much but enough to get the tiny thrill the toy brings. 
Chan walks up and stands next to you, his hand coming out and grabbing at the chain of the swing next to yours. 
The brightest smile stretches over your face. 
God, it really doesn’t take a lot to make you smile, does it? He guesses that means it doesn’t take a lot for him either since he smiles when you do.
He can’t help it.
He watches you move back and forth, the cold breeze kicking up a bit more and blowing dead leaves across the sidewalk. 
“What’s wrong, Chan? Allergic to swings?” you tease. 
He rolls his eyes with a smirk. “No, I just far more enjoy watching you have fun.”
Your cheeks flush. If he didn’t know you, maybe he would’ve chocked it up to the cold. But he knows the difference between your blush and the elements now. 
“You’re a smooth talker, Bang Chan.”
“It comes easy with you, Y/N L/N.”
Another laugh from you. 
“Shameless flirt.”
He puts his hand on his chest in mock hurt. “Ouch! I just speak the truth, that’s all. Not my fault I like seeing you blush.”
Every word that comes out of his mouth feels so natural. If he really thinks about it, he’s in a weirdly unique situation. Not many couples get to start over, to feel those butterflies again. But here he is, his palms starting to get sweaty as he imagines kissing you. 
Would you call it a first kiss? Maybe. 
It has been four dates. It wouldn’t be.. inappropriate to kiss you, would it? The two of you kissed on your third date a few years ago. 
He wants to kiss you so bad. 
Should he? Shouldn’t he? God, why is this so hard?
Chan reaches out and grabs the chain of your swing, pulling it to a very gentle stop. 
“Uh oh, fun police,” you tease and look up at him with a grin. 
Looking down at you, Chan allows his eyes to look over every detail of your face that he already had memorized. You haven’t changed at all except the new scar on the side of your forehead from the accident. 
It’s the same eyes, same nose, same chin that he fell in love with so long ago. 
The same asymmetrical eyes that you’re so self conscious of but he loves. Your hair is wind blown and splayed every which way. It adds a childish charm to your features. 
Very carefully, Chan moves his free hand down to cup your cheek. His warm palm soothes your ice cold face. He hears your breath catch in your throat at his touch. 
His thumb swipes over your cheek, fingertips run down the soft lines of your jawline. Eventually his thumb ends up under your chin which he tilts up. 
Your eyes sparkle. They somehow capture the light of the lamps around the playground. But they’ve always done that. 
You’re always so enchanting.
Is this a good idea? 
Is kissing you the best option? 
But does he even have the strength to stop himself now?
Almost three months without feeling your lips on his has been torture, and here he is, with you in his hands and there’s still this nagging feeling that he should stop. 
One look into your eyes quells that anxiety. 
Your eyes keep flickering down to his own lips, the shaky breath you let out is hot against his fingers. Everything feels warmer compared to the air outside. 
He can’t take it anymore. 
Chan leans down and presses his lips to yours. They’re warm and slightly chapped.
But, my god, he’s never felt anything this heavenly before. It’s like his entire body unwinds. Like a fire was lit inside his stomach. 
He moves his hand to the back of your head and keeps your lips pressed against his. Your head tilts to the side slightly. It’s just like he remembers. 
It’s just the first kiss, he can’t let himself get carried away. He can’t. 
He can’t let his fingers wind through your hair. He can’t melt into your touch on his cheek. He can’t let himself drown in your lips. 
But he is. 
He’s letting you consume his very soul in one kiss. 
How can something feel so healing yet hurt so badly at the same time? It’s like you’re ripping open a wound and bandaging it at the same time. 
No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring his lips away from yours. Your hand slides down to caress his jawline with those soft, manicured fingers. 
Your lips open and close over his like mirror images. The feeling shoots straight down into Chan’s gut. It’s like the first time for him all over again. 
Those butterflies are going insane in his stomach. Your scent kicks up in the wind and he can’t help but take a large breath through his nose. 
God, he can’t stop himself. It feels too good. 
His hand moves from the back of your hair to cup your cheek and bring you closer. 
He immediately stops. 
Why is your face wet?
Chan pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you with concern written all over his expression. 
You’re crying. Why … why are you crying?
Your eyes open and you look at him confused. 
“Chan?” you whisper. You’re confused too. What?
“Why are you crying, Y/N?” he asks with a thick voice.
Your eyes widen and your own hand comes up to swipe at your cheeks. Sure enough, you’re met with tears. 
“I… I don’t know,” you say so quietly. “I-I’m not sure.”
Chan starts backing away, your eyes snap to focus on his. Your hand shoots up to grab at his to keep him there. You’re still so confused. 
Emotions are flying through your eyes. It almost looks like someone is clicking a light switch on and off in the back of your mind. A lightbulb is flickering in your soul like a dying neon sign in an old shop window. 
Every muscle in your face is twitching.
What’s happening?
“Channie—“ your own voice cuts off by a sob. 
Chan’s heart jumpstarts. You haven’t called him that… not in two months… that’s what you and your mother called him before the accident. 
Are you…? Are you remembering? What’s happening?
Please. 
Slowly, your hand falls from his. 
Chan stays there, unmoving like a statue. What’s happening inside your mind right now? It looks like you’re reaching and reaching for something that you can’t quite put your finger on. 
He's watching you struggle. It’s like when you can’t remember a word. It’s right there. It’s on the tip of your tongue.
You gulp, your eyes leave his and you look down at your lap. The dirt crunches under your feet as you shuffle your shoes around.
Chan swipes his thumb over your cheek, brushing away the tears. He’s biting back his own. 
“It’s okay—“ “I’m sorry—“ are both said at the exact same time. 
He knew it was coming. He knows you. But you don’t know him. Not anymore. 
But you do.
“It wasn’t the kiss. I—“ 
“It’s okay, Y/N.”
You know him. 
“Chan, I really loved the kiss.”
Chan. Not Channie. 
He brushes his thumb over your lips. “It’s okay,” he repeats gently. “You don’t have to explain.”
His other hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes slide shut at the sensation. 
Your bottom lip quivers and you pull it into your mouth and bite it. With a tight swallow, your throat bobs. 
“It happens sometimes,” you whisper. “It’s from the accident I had.”
Chan continues to soothingly rub your skin with his thumb. Slowly, he kneels down to be in front of you rather than leaning over. 
The dirt is cold on his knee. It seeps through the fabric of his pants. He couldn’t care less. 
“You don’t have to talk about it,” he whispers back to you. 
You shake your head gently, your hands folding in your lap. “No, no. I… I want to tell you. I need to tell you. It’s been happening more and more whenever I’m around you. It’s like every touch, every word you say bounces around my brain and makes me feel the worst case of deja vu.
“Every time I’m with you I feel like I’m trying to recall a dream I had last night but I just can’t remember what it was.”
You’re rambling. You only ramble when you’re overwhelmed and scared. 
“Chan, every time I’m with you it feels like some part of me is screaming to be let out.”
Your eyes open and you stare right through him. Chan feels his heart squeeze and almost stop completely. Despite your best efforts, the tears keep coming. 
“I was in a car accident a few months ago. I had such a severe concussion that I lost the last five years of my memory.” 
How is your voice so even?
Chan’s jaw clenches. Fuck fuck fuck. 
He knows. Yes, Y/N. He knows. Fuck, does he know! If anyone fucking knows, it’s him. 
“I—“ he starts but you cut him off. 
“Please,” you choke out and take a deep breath. “And since then I’ve been getting bits and pieces of my memory back. Sometimes they’re in large chunks, other times they just … come back.
“When I try to think about my life before the accident. There’s this… person there. Someone important. Someone so, so important that it physically hurts me to think about how I don’t know who it is. They’re a constant. And I love that they’re a constant.”
Your hand comes up to clutch at your jacket right over your chest. 
More tears come out of your eyes. The whites get more pink the more they flow. 
“But I know them. I do! I know them like I know the back of my hand. I-I know they love music. I know they take milk and sugar in their morning coffee. I know they don’t get enough sleep at night.”
Louder and louder your voice gets as you grow sadder and sadder. The sobs between thoughts wrack your chest. 
Him. You’re talking about him. 
Chan’s hands hold your face gently. His thumbs can’t keep up with how much you’re crying. 
Nothing has ever hurt this bad. 
You know him. You just don’t know it’s him. 
Nevertheless, you continue. “I remember that they have the most obnoxious phone alarm in the morning. I remember the passcode to their phone is 032518. I know that they have this one black sweatshirt that I love to steal even though it’s their favorite.”
Chan’s own eyes begin watering, he can’t stop it. You know him. You know him. You’ve remembered him this whole time and you didn’t even know it. 
You reach up and grab one of his hands and place it on your heart. Underneath your jacket, he can feel your heartbeat thudding violently against your chest. 
That same heartbeat he’s been dying to listen to while you play with his hair and tell him about your day. The heartbeat he would give anything to hear as he falls asleep. His throat gets tighter and tighter. 
“I’ve been surrounded by bits and pieces of a ghost and no one wants to help me. No one will tell me anything, and I’m so confused, Chan. I can tell that there’s something that everyone is avoiding telling me.”
A gust of wind picks up through the playground. It nips at his cheeks. It’s now he realizes how many tears are falling. 
A sob tears from his throat. 
You grip his hand tighter. 
“Tell me It’s you, Chan.” You’re begging. You’re actually begging while keeping his hand pressed against your heartbeat. 
“Tell me that you’re the person that I see in my dreams. Tell me you’re the one that loves when I draw hearts on the bathroom mirror after I shower. Please tell me that you’re the one that loves the smell of lemon cookies but can’t stand the taste.”
Oh, god, Y/N.
“Tell me that you’re the one that wanted to pick me up from the party that night but I said no.”
He breaks. 
He breaks right down in front of you. Every single ounce of self control leaves his body and he grabs you out of the swing, yanking you towards his body and holding you against his chest.The emotions that were being kept at bay came out like a raging storm. 
He falls backwards into the dirt, you come crashing into him. Your arms wrap around him at the same time he wraps around you. 
Chan buries his face in your neck, one hand on the back of your head and the other firmly around your waist. 
Wails leave his mouth as he holds you to him. They’re deep and come from the very depths of his soul. The wound that’s been open for months is bleeding.  
Every lonely night. Every dinner where he cooked for two instead of one by accident. Every long day he came back to an empty apartment. It’s all coming out. 
You’re crying just as hard as he is, both of your hands gripping the back of his hoodie like a lifeline. 
Your body in his arms is like a piece of a puzzle. Like he’s the dusty one sitting on his dining room table and you finally came in and finished it. 
Weeks and weeks of grief come crashing down on him. He can’t lie anymore. Not to you. Never to you. 
“It is me,” he cries into your neck, his hand running over the back of your head, feeling your hair slip through his fingers. It’s just like he remembers. “It’s all me, Y/N, It’s me.”
Your cries get louder, your body starts shaking in his arms. 
“I’ve missed you, Y/N,” he cries harder. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much. I missed my girl. Oh my god, I’ve missed you.”
Chan can’t pull you close enough, he can’t get you close enough to his body. You shift around and press yourself into him. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick you up that night. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry you got hurt.” 
Every ounce of grief is surfacing and clawing its way out of his throat. 
“I’m sorry I had to lie to you these last two weeks. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was so broken without you. I broke the doctor’s orders. I needed to see you, Y/N.”
Despite how hard he has you gripped against him, you manage to pull away slightly. You sit up in his lap and look down at his red, tear soaked face. His eyes are puffy and his chest is sputtering with sobs. 
Both of your hands cup his cheeks and swipe away the tears the same way he did for you only a small bit ago. There’s a sad smile on your face. 
“Please don’t apologize, Channie, it’s okay. I forgive you.”
Channie. You called him Channie.
He cries harder and buries his face into your chest. Your arms immediately come around him and keep him there, fingers threading into his hair. 
You’re still crying. Both of you are. 
“I know you were just doing what you were told to,” you whisper into his hair. He can hear your voice reverberate in your chest. 
All he can do is cry. 
Months of build up led to this moment. Endless days of going through the motions just for the next to be as dull and tedious led to him falling into you in the middle of a playground at night. 
The only thing you do after that is hold him. You press kisses to the top of his head and whisper that you forgive him over and over. 
Each one adds a stitch to the wound, shutting it.
You’re finally in his arms. You’re finally back where you belong. 
“I missed you,” he says again, his cries dying down. He doesn't know what else to say. There's so much he wants to tell you, but everything dies on the tip of his tongue.
“I missed you too, Channie. My heart missed you so much.”
He sniffles and looks up at you. You pull your sweatshirt sleeve up and wipe away his stray tears gently. 
“Every day it just felt like something was missing. It was you. You were missing.”
Chan can’t find any words to say. He just stares at you. 
"I don't care how long it takes to remember, or even if I never do. I need you by my side for it, Chan."
His eyes sparkle at you for a moment but he leans up and captures your lips with his once more. It feels even better than the previous one.
The two of you relish in the contact, holding each other close and clinging to the closeness of it all.
It's taking everything within Chan not to start crying again. He's worried than any moment now, he'll wake up and this will all be some cruel dream.
But when you pull away from his lips, and he opens his eyes-- you're still there. You're still in his arms and smiling at him like you always did.
The burn is soothed.
“If you think about it,” you start with a tiny smile. “We’re lucky— in a way.”
His entire face screws up, even more confused. “Lucky?”
“How many people get to say they fell in love with the same person twice?”
Chan blinks twice before it feels like his entire body thaws. 
You and your glass half full attitude. He’ll never fucking get enough of it. 
His arms wrap around you again, bringing you down into his chest. You let out a breathy giggle 
“You’re never leaving my sight,” he breathes out. “Never again, baby, never.”
“I don’t ever want to, Channie. I never will.”
519 notes · View notes
neptuneiris · 2 days
Text
could you pretend to be in love? (07/10)
To Dragonstone / Lovers
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: the trip to Dragonstone arrives and things between you and Aemond may remain distant or may take a big turn. you are sure of your feelings but does he feel the same way?
word count: 8.4k
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hello!
even i'm surprised that i updated and it didn't take me two or almost three weeks, but here it is!
i'm so happy for the recognition the story is getting, truly, thank you so much beautiful people, i hope you like this chapter a lot too. i'm looking forward to your comments!
After what happened… there was a total change of behavior between you and Aemond.
Even that same day after he didn't drop you off at your house because you told him that Alysanne would be the one to drive you, that night he texted you that there was a party at one of his friend's house.
You didn't reply right away, you just watched the message appear on the top of your screen silently and did nothing.
And after a few minutes he texted you again telling you that if you didn't want to go with him, he was fine with it. And you just texted him back a short; have fun!
But still, you couldn't help but feel completely different, with this strange feeling and a knot in your stomach at having this distance with him.
But he didn't text you again for anything else.
Even also on that same day you saw Helaena, who told you again how sorry she and her mother were still. You also saw Aegon, but he just kept walking, acting completely unconcerned and as if the dinner had never happened.
And now, with things weird and distant with Aemond, today is the trip to Dragonstone.
You assume that you and Aemond will continue to pretend, since there was never a definitive statement where both he and you said you would no longer pretend. But since that night he told you about the party, he and you haven't spoken again.
There's really no plan for the trip. You don't even know if he and you will do this together, as a couple. You just don't know anything.
But you recognize that the two of you made a contract that includes the Dragonstone trip and also ending the fake relationship until graduation. So you prepare yourself despite the circumstances.
Besides you won't be alone, as Alysanne has also signed up for the trip, who just now is keeping you updated on all the things going on in her life as you both drag your respective suitcases along.
"But I don't know if I should say yes to him yet."
You let out a sigh, already feeling tired as you feel the weight of everything in your suitcase. But you can't really blame yourself because it's an all-weekend trip to the beach, so you should have brought everything you needed.
"To who?" you ask with the breath you're gathering, as you tighten your grip on your suitcase.
"Didn't you hear everything I said?" she inquires, "To Cregan."
"Ah… and why don't you know?"
"Well, you know…" she gives you a knowing look, "I don't know, he seems too perfect to me and there must be something wrong with him," she raises her index finger at you, "And he's too popular for my liking."
You frown, still walking as she does, heading toward the buses in the school parking lot that will take you all to Kings Landing port.
"Wait," you say confused, "So he already asked you out?" you look at her slightly surprised, struggling to keep up.
"Yeah," she says casually, "But I don't know."
"Oh come on," you look at her serious, "He's very nice, handsome, funny and a gentleman."
But she grimaces, showing her skepticism.
"Not exactly my type."
You roll your eyes, amused.
Then you both stop behind a line of people waiting to board one of the buses while one of the teachers notes on a list the students' attendance by asking for first and last name, so you have to wait.
"I think you should go out with him," you say, turning to look at her.
"Uhh…" she stares into the void, thoughtfully and doubtfully, "I don't know, bestie."
"He's a good match," you try to convince her, encouraged, "Besides he's already completely crazy about you."
"That's the problem," she sentences, "I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now. It seems better to me that we both just go out, have fun together and nothing else, no strings attached."
"He probably won't refuse the idea," you shrug, "But tell him and don't leave him waiting with his hopes high."
She snorts, gesturing with her hand.
"He's a man. I'm sure he can handle me never giving him an answer."
You let out a laugh.
"Don't be mean, Alysanne."
"What?" she looks at you innocently.
"Come on, you can do better than that."
"No, I don't think so."
You both let out a laugh now and are about to say something else to him, when a third voice interrupts you in conversation.
"Y/N?"
The two turn their heads and walking towards you, it's Aemond, with a somewhat unsure and nervous posture, which is totally unusual for him, but he's still watching you completely attentively.
He's wearing a white t-shirt and a black jacket over it, which makes him look ridiculously good for a common outfit. But what also catches your attention is how he has a silver chain sticking out from around his neck.
And God… why are you suddenly so nervous about being in front of him?
"Do you have a minute?"
You look uncertainly at him and then at Alysanne, having no idea what to say, further increasing your nerves.
"Hum—
"Go," Alysanne says to you, "I'll wait in line for both of us."
"Oh… all right."
You reply, smiling a little in her direction, only to walk over to Aemond and both of you step back a little so you can talk more privately.
And it's at that moment that your heart starts beating like crazy and you bite your lips, crossing your arms over your chest, nervous and a little… embarrassed.
"Listen," he starts to say, in a low and soft voice, "I just want to say that I'm really sorry for the way I reacted the other day," he tells you sincerely, "I'm sure I made you feel uncomfortable and to some extent trapped but believe me that was never my intention. Nor was it my intention for things to get weird between us."
"Yeah, yeah, I understand, don't worry," you nod, trying to hide your nerves and trying to look unconcerned, you too wanting to put this behind you, "I'm sorry too for trying to end it all that way."
"No, it's not okay," he assures you, "I just didn't understand anything and got frustrated," he admits to you gently, "And that wasn't right of me. Now I know how overwhelmed you must have felt with everything that happened."
"I-I guess I got scared and that was the easiest way I could think of to end it all when that wasn't right on my part either. After all… we have a contract—
"The contract thing doesn't matter," he interrupts you with a nonchalant gesture, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, "The important thing is that we're both okay and that we don't distance ourselves from each other."
You nod in agreement, feeling a sense of relief at hearing his words.
"Yeah, you're right."
"So… everything good?" he asks you completely attentively.
"Yes, all good," you assure, wanting to put any misunderstandings behind you.
He is about to say something when one of his friends calls out to him from the line to board the bus.
"Aemond!"
You both turn your heads and his friend along with the teacher in charge watch him intently from the bus doors.
"I need to see your signed permission form, son," the teacher tells him.
He nods and goes back to watching you.
"I'll see you inside," he says before walking away towards his friend and you nod.
You walk back with Alysanne to the line and watch Aemond just a few feet in front of you, talking to the professor, and then he and his friend carry their bags up to the bottom compartments of the bus, eventually moving up the line.
And God… this is the sense of relief you so desperately needed to finally feel. Knowing that you're going to do this with Aemond, all about Dragonstone, relieves and excites you.
However, you should have assumed that even then things would get weird, because the feeling doesn't last long when you see Floris approach Aemond and the two of them start talking.
At first you don't think anything of it, but then, you see the way Floris approaches and behaves towards him.
A tingle of jealousy begins to bubble deep in your stomach as you watch the two of them talk. You also watch as some students watch the two of them and then you, standing apart, with curious and mischievous looks, surely waiting for the drama.
It's as if everyone knows what Aemond and Floris once were, only to then watch you, the new girlfriend, fade into the background after Floris has returned to school.
And Aemond's behavior towards you comes back to your mind.
He himself told you that he did not expect to see her again, so on another plane and in other circumstances, if Floris had not left the school, you are absolutely sure that Aemond would have required her help, totally.
And this between him and you would never have happened.
And maybe… Aemond is still interested in Floris, just as she seems to be still interested in him. But he can't do anything about it because he already has an agreement with you, he's stuck with you.
This relationship is fake, remember?
Your mind tells you, since for Aemond it's not real, but rather pure convenience, just an act, but for you… it's getting harder and harder to ignore the feelings that arise inside you.
Is it possible that your feelings are more real than you have allowed yourself to believe?
You watch as Aemond seems to want to subtly pull away from her to have his own space, but Floris moves closer again, as if they both share something that only the two of them know and that's why she has the confidence, even though he has a girlfriend, to act that way with him.
Which only makes you more annoyed and jealous.
But finally the line starts to move forward and you decide you won't give it any more thought. What's the point of worrying about something that, in theory, isn't real?
You board the bus behind Alysanne, where everything inside is full of excitement and energy, with students talking and laughing as they settle into their seats.
Then your gaze almost instantly meets Aemond's as you look at the seats, sitting in one of the first seats with the seat next to him empty, watching you intently and with a small smile on his lips, clearly waiting for you.
The temptation to go sit next to him is strong, but you decide to ignore it and keep walking behind Alysanne, passing him. And that instantly makes him react.
"Hey, hey," he quickly stands up and gently takes you by the arm, watching you with his soft gaze reflecting bewilderment, "Where are you going?"
Your nerves dissipate and you try to come up with a good excuse.
"Hum… you know, to sit with Alysanne," you point to your friend.
He follows your gaze but frowns, confused.
"But don't you think we should sit together?"
You stay silent for a few seconds, watching him intently and nervous, trying to come up with a better excuse. But he speaks again, trying to convince you.
"I packed snacks for both of us on the way and thought maybe we could watch a movie or something."
"Maybe on the way back," you say with an apologetic look, feeling the weight of his gaze on you.
And he frowns slightly, his gaze reflecting a mixture of disappointment and confusion as he tries to understand your behavior.
The two of you a few moments ago spoke, the two of you apologized to each other and you especially said that everything was okay or not? That's what keeps him confused, not understanding why the two of you are suddenly continuing this distancing, noticing your efforts to pull away from him.
"Come on," he insists, "Let Cregan sit with her."
"I'm sorry, Aemond," you say, "But I promised her I'd sit with her."
He seems to want to argue back, but you waste no more time and finally walk past him, moving away from him straight toward Alysanne in one of the seats almost at the back.
Aemond with a serious look sighs resignedly, feeling the disappointment inside, confused and with disillusion, not really understanding anything.
And when you arrive together with Alysanne, just as you take your seat, you look back to where Aemond is with a worried look and at that moment Floris appears, stopping in front of him with a small sweet smile on her lips.
"Will someone sit here?" she asks politely even though she already knows the answer, her tone with a familiarity that makes you stir in your seat.
Aemond turns his gaze back to you with a mixed expression of seriousness and disappointment before answering Floris.
"No," he replies with some annoyance, dropping back into his seat with a droopy attitude.
Floris complacently takes a seat next to him and you watch everything from afar, telling yourself that this is all a bad idea, with a swirl of emotions all over you.
So all the way to King's Landing port begins, where you distract yourself listening to music and avoid looking towards the seats where Aemond is with Floris.
At all times you feel this uncertainty and this unpleasant feeling that does not leave you in peace, even makes you feel sad, but Alysanne by your side manages to distract you in some moments.
Until you finally arrive at the port and in organized groups, the teachers make sure that all the students board the ferry that goes directly to Dragonstone.
Everyone around you starts taking pictures and videos of the wonderful view the ferry offers of Blackwater Bay, excited to get to Dragonstone.
And you start looking for Aemond with your eyes, finding him leaning on the ferry's railing with one of his friends next to him, both talking, but he has a more thoughtful expression as he gazes out at the ocean.
Despite being surrounded by people and his friends especially, he is distant. And you know he's like this because of you.
For one reason he asked to talk to you and clear up what happened between the two of you. You assured him that everything was fine and then pushed him away.
But can you really blame yourself?
You're fucking scared.
And for a reason Floris acts that way with him, because whatever there once was between the two of them, it's not over yet, you can feel it. And you have no right to reproach him for that because this is not real.
Still… it's better for you to start slowly pulling away from him and put on a show when it's really necessary. But how will you be able to do this together when things are like this?
That's why the uncomfortable feeling on the bus persists and Alysanne tries to distract you by taking pictures of the view, a selfie of the two of you together or by herself.
But despite these efforts, you can't stop thinking about Aemond and watching him from time to time.
Until the ferry finally docks at Dragonstone Island and the students begin to walk ashore with their suitcases in hand, full of excitement and high expectations for what awaits them this year on site.
And since you have never visited Dragonstone before, you watch in complete awe and amazement as the majestic and imposing modern castle stands before you almost on the water's edge.
It looks like a living museum, offering the relics of Old Valyria and its history, paying homage to the ancient house Valyria, a royal family that once ruled Westeros with the legend of having tamed dragons in their Reign.
The entire castle is made of stone, as well as its surroundings and all it has to offer.
And once inside, everything is majestically structured and spacious, with architecture of royalty, preserving that touch and the one that many decades ago a royal and powerful family lived here.
With a male guide, who is also chaperon of this 'excursion', he welcomes all the students and begins to guide them through the main corridors of the castle.
You are amazed to see the numerous display cases with ancient swords that had forged the history of the Valyrian house, as well as other possessions, be they wardrobes or jewelry of gold, silver and other precious stones.
There are also portraits of the ancient Kings and Queens who had ruled, as well as portraits of princes and princesses with the name, date of birth and date of death.
Being your first time in this place, it is obvious that you are excited compared to other students who have come here before and just want to have fun.
But you sense how the atmosphere is steeped in history and mystery. So you can't wait to learn more about this history that was in an ancient and legendary world.
"For those who don't already know, there are various activities you can do during your stay on the island," says the guide man, "You can enjoy the beach and swim in our crystal clear waters, but you can also dive with professional instructors to explore the coral reefs and marine life, as well as we also offer surfing lessons for beginners."
"I want to try surfing," Alysanne says next to you, without both of them letting up, and you watch her in surprise.
"Really?"
"I don't plan to dive, I feel like I'll go crazy with claustrophobia with so much suit and gear on me, not to mention you can't talk," she tells you with a grimace, "And swimming is so boring. I want something more exciting."
"And you can handle that?"
"Please, I can handle anything," she says with a certain superiority, making you laugh, "And what do you plan to do? Obviously not surf but then what?"
"Hum…" you think about it for a moment, "I don't know, maybe I'll visit the huge library and learn more about the history of this place and the whole Valyrian family."
Alysanne looks at you completely expectantly and showing you how much your answers have bored her.
"Are you serious?"
"We also offer a tour of our small aquarium located in the depths of the castle, where you can see a variety of fish and sea creatures," he man goes on to mention, "And lastly, we offer rides on our yachts and scooters along the coast, there are also paddle boarding lessons along our peaceful canals that meander through the island."
You look back at Alysanne beside you.
"Or maybe I'll join the paddling classes," you say with a shrug.
But that only makes Alysanne look at you like you're a hopeless case, sigh, and continue moving on, not telling you any more about your plans or she's afraid it will make you feel bad.
And you let out a little laugh, since of course you also want to enjoy the beach and also want a yacht ride.
And as all the students continue to move forward and you along with them, you still feel the tension between you and Aemond, who is moving a few meters ahead of you with his friends.
Despite the beauty and excitement of Dragonstone, still this uneasiness continues to weigh on your being.
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First night at Dragonstone and you've already been left alone.
Alysanne stated that she wanted to enjoy the luxurious bathtub in the room to immerse herself in a relaxing spa experience, so that's what she's doing now before starting the rough activities tomorrow.
And meanwhile you're stealing snacks from the huge kitchen since you've prepared one night of movies for yourself, which isn't a bad plan.
So with your pajamas on, you go back to the room, thankful that you didn't have any awkward encounters with anyone. In fact you were hoping to run into him, but that hasn't happened and you have no idea where he must be.
So with your snacks in hand and in the huge hallway where your room is located, you struggle a bit to open your door with your hands full, when someone enters the same hallway where you are.
"Hey Y/N."
You turn your head and meet Cregan, causing you to place a smile on your face in his direction.
"Hey Cregan."
He watches you with a small amused smile.
"Do you need help?"
"Well, I-I…" you try one more time, but everything is about to fall out of your hands, "Yeah," you finally agree.
He helps you with your snacks and also opens the door for you, then watches you curiously.
"Are you preparing one night of snacks and probably watching movies with Alysanne?"
"No," you reply laughing softly, "No, I—
"Ah, so you're going with Aemond to the hot tub," he interrupts you in a casual tone, assuming.
Confused by that revelation, you try to process the information, but before you can even pretend and react, which you really don't and remain silent like a fool, he notices and looks at you slightly confused.
"Oh, well... on my way here saw him alone in the hot tub and thought you were going with him."
And just then it happens.
Something snaps inside you.
An overwhelming sense of need overwhelms you from head to toe, you can't help it and you can't take it anymore.
You need to talk to someone about the truth and release everything you've been accumulating these past few days. But you know that if you do that, you would be breaking a contract rule.
But the thought of still holding all this in and not being able to talk to anyone about what's really going on is unbearable.
Alysanne would freak out and you have no one else to talk to. It's not like you have a lot of friends. So thinking hard, you quickly map out a plan in your mind and decide to confide in Cregan.
"Do you have a moment?" you ask with a lump in your throat.
Cregan gets confused and looks hesitant.
"Well, I—
"Alysanne is relaxing in the tub, she won't be out of there for a while and I really need to talk to someone about this," you plead.
And that's enough for Cregan to walk into the room behind you as he sees your face like you're about to explode and you tell him everything.
And God, it's a complete relief to be able to speak freely, without the pressure of keeping up the farce.
And you start by explaining to him why you decided to fake a relationship, and then tell him these feelings that you can't ignore anymore, as well as explaining everything you're feeling about Floris and how things are between you and Aemond.
And by this point, Cregan is very comfortable sitting on your bed, eating from your snacks while you wander around your room talking freely about everything that comes to your mind and he listens attentively.
"I'm completely crazy, aren't I?"
You watch him completely frustrated and looking for support, as the ideas and thoughts keep coming uncontrollably into your mind.
"I mean, this is fake," you clarify, waving your hands as you speak, "This wasn't supposed to happen, he just asked me for help and I asked for something in return to accept. And he clearly doesn't feel the same way I do."
You look at him in exasperation, worried.
"And I know I acted wrong with him this morning on the bus but—" you sigh, "You should have seen how he reacted when he saw Floris at school again. This whole thing with Aemond probably wouldn't have happened if Floris hadn't left school, it's obvious there's still something between the two of them and that makes me feel… so upset and so jealous when I shouldn't!" you exclaim frustrated, "And I find it best to just stay away from him so I can stop feeling all this and my big mouth won't even think of telling him how I really feel."
"Y/N—
"I'm right, right?" you don't let him speak, watching him completely intently and worriedly, "I'm crazy."
Cregan smiles softly in your direction in an attempt to comfort you and shakes his head, as he takes another bite of a chocolate bread.
"No, not at all," he replies sincerely, "You're just being honest with yourself and me."
You stop in front of him, fiddling nervously with the fingers of your hands.
"I had to blurt it out," you say dejectedly, "I'm so confused. And you have to promise not to tell anyone," you tell him instantly.
"I promise," he tells you instantly too, nodding.
"So what do you think?"
He lets out a long breath before answering, watching you calmly and quietly, preparing in his mind what he will tell you next, while you wait desperately and anxiously.
"Listen, I think it doesn't matter that the two of you have been pretending all this time, but Aemond likes you, a lot."
He assures you and your heart leaps, parting your lips and watching him completely intently.
"I've seen the way he stares at you—
"Have you already forgotten that all this time we've been pretending?" you interrupt him in exasperation.
"And you think you can fake a look of love if he's not really in love?" he asks you, expectantly.
You let out a sigh, bringing a hand to your forehead, massaging your temples.
"That doesn't matter, I feel he still has feelings for Floris and I'm just another fool who fell in love with Aemond Targaryen," you look at him hopelessly, "And if you think about it, it's embarrassing."
"Okay, let's analyze the facts," he says confidently, incorporating himself better on the bed, "The fake relationship was his idea, you set most of the important rules and you're the one who wants to end the relationship, but you're here locked in your room preparing a movie night for yourself alone while he's waiting for you in the hot tub," he tells you condescendingly while pointing at the door with his thumb.
You watch him completely attentively, almost hesitant and unsure, thinking about it.
"And if you think about it precisely, yes, Aemond and Floris had something but it was nothing serious, he later went back to Alys and now that he erased Alys from his life, there is you and no one else," he explains to you, "Floris' return means nothing because he could have told you that it was better to end the fake relationship when he saw her again, but he didn't tell you anything, it was you," he assures you, "And yes, maybe you fell in love first, but eventually he also fell in love with you and harder."
Cregan's every word hits you like a wave of revelation, making you rethink your perceptions and doubts.
Maybe, in the midst of all this confusion, conflict and your doubts, Cregan is right.
Maybe Aemond really is in love with you, despite the fake relationship, Alys and Floris… maybe he is and the thought is as overwhelming as it is comforting.
If so… then what will happen?
You don't know but wanting to find out excites and scares you at the same time.
"Do you think he's waiting for me in the hot tub?" is the only question you can utter out of the thousands in your mind, watching him hopefully.
"Of course," he gives you an obvious look.
So you waste no time.
You leave on your pajamas of silk shorts with a tank top of the same fabric and throw a coat on over them. It's not really cold but the air here on the island is frosty enough for you.
And as you step outside a part of the castle where the hot tub is located, with your heartbeat echoing in your ears, you are greeted by a cool, salty breeze that caresses your skin.
The hot tub area is illuminated by a series of lights hanging from the ends of the trees, creating a calm and relaxing atmosphere. But what stands out the most is the blue light of the hot tub.
And there you see him.
You focus on the lone figure of Aemond as you move forward, who has his back to you, gazing off into the horizon, thoughtful while also distracted by the bubbles the hot tub is making around him.
You pause for a moment, watching him from a distance, feeling a strange mixture of excitement and nervousness fluttering in your chest.
The silver chain around his neck shines with a soft glow from the blue light, adding a touch of mystery to his profile, just as his white skin glows slightly from the glint of water on his skin.
The sound of the hot tub echoes in place, as well as the ocean waves outside and with nerves blocking your mind, you finally approach him, with quiet determination.
"Mind if I join you?"
You say to him with some insecurity and in a soft tone, hugging yourself, nervous and attentive.
Aemond turns his head towards you and his eye meets yours.
And if his gaze reflected surprise, he quickly turns back to an unexpressive face and without saying absolutely nothing to you, where you also tried to smile a little at him, he turns his gaze back to the front.
And you don't let it get to you, at least not yet.
"What? Now you're going to ignore me?"
And thankfully that's enough to make him talk to you. At least a little bit.
"Oh now I'm the one ignoring you?" he retorts bitterly, without even looking at you, "That's funny."
And he continues to turn his back on you, without saying anything else, to which you let out a long breath and without giving up yet, thinking about what Cregan told you and also considering your feelings, you approach him.
With hesitant steps, you climb the steps leading to the entrance of the hot tub and approach the edge, feeling the warmth of the water and the gentle steam rising in the air.
Feeling Aemond's gaze on you, you take a seat on the edge and dip your feet into the water as you return his gaze, which makes your heart pound in your chest again.
He is completely beautiful.
And the words don't come out of your mouth as you are hypnotized for a moment watching the flashes of light on his serene face with his flawless skin and those features that make him look so handsome.
But you finally focus.
"Well, I'm sorry this is my first trip here and I have no idea how to do the activities when you didn't even offer to guide me," you foolishly try to justify yourself.
"Oh and now I'm supposed to guide you after you ignored me on the bus?" he inquires.
You feel the blood rise to your cheeks and look away for a moment, embarrassed.
"Well, I thought I should do you a favor," you admit sheepishly, not really knowing what to say.
And you just had to say that?
Your mind reproaches you.
"Favor?" he repeats in confusion, "What favor?"
"It's obvious Floris is still interested in you," you explain, "And you and she had a thing in the past so was it better for her to sit down with you or not?"
Fucking fool.
Your mind keeps reproaching you, but you don't know why you had to say that either!
And you know it was really bad as Aemond makes a gesture of exasperation on his face and shakes his head as he averts his gaze from you and stretches out both arms to the edge of the hot tub.
"You know?" he starts to say in a frustration-laden tone of voice, watching you "For being such a good student… you can be really dumb sometimes."
You frown, bewildered by his words.
"What?"
"I wanted to sit with you, Y/N," he tells you in exasperation, wanting to make you understand, "Not with Floris or anyone else, just you," he says, his tone softening as he looks at you intently.
Oh.
Yes, oh.
Now you feel stupid and of course you should feel exactly that way.
And as Aemond's words echo in your mind, you feel a mixture of emotions inside you.
On the one hand, a sense of relief and joy finds its way into your chest as you hear his sincere words and know that he wanted to be with you. But you are also overcome with a slight embarrassment at your initial lack of understanding.
And because of the same nerves and how stupid you still feel, a soft laugh escapes your lips at his confession.
"So, Floris…
You let the words float in the air, as you watch him with that insecurity in your gaze.
"Floris was just a one time thing in the past. She doesn't interest me anymore," he assures you gently and firmly, completely honest.
You both remain silent for a moment, only hearing the bubbling of the hot tub, where you mostly admire how the blue light reflects all over his body and face, looking so fucking good.
Not to mention he has no shirt on.
You can feel the electricity in the air as he watches you with his face softer compared to a few moments ago, there's also almost adoration and hope, all just the same way you're watching him.
Then you break the silence.
"I'm sorry I didn't sit with you on the bus," you say sincerely.
And he makes a nonchalant gesture with his hand.
"It's all right."
And once again, silence envelops you as you both sink into the intimate and complicit atmosphere that surrounds you.
Then once everything has been 'cleared up' somehow, you sit up and take off your coat, to begin soaking in the hot tub along with him, causing him to watch you attentively and in confusion.
"You're going in your sleeping clothes?" he asks in a doubtful tone.
"I didn't bring a swimsuit," you reply, stopping in front of him and allowing yourself to enjoy the shared quiet and intimacy along with the warmth of the water.
You watch as his gaze sweeps over your body, mostly focused on watching the way the water envelops you in just the same way he does and you don't stop, as you position yourself right in front of him, your face inches from his.
And already starting to feel a little embarrassed by his burning gaze on you, you say the first thing that comes to mind.
"You know, I've never seen you without that chain," you say, feeling your knees bump against his thighs.
He smiles slowly, showing off his perfect aligned white teeth, marking each cheek with his beautiful dimples, having a knowing glint in his eye that is reflected as he inspects your face.
"It's part of me," he replies, in a soft, deep, husky voice than usual that sends shivers down your spine, "But I think I might make an exception tonight."
And before you can fully comprehend his words, you feel Aemond's hand on your thigh from under the water, sending a surge of electricity through your body.
Surprised, he makes you sit on his lap, while his other hand rests on your waist, drawing you to him gently but with remarkable determination, surprising you and making you feel instantly nervous.
You place your hands on his shoulders, seeking stability, as you watch him with your parted lips, seeing that the space between the two of you no longer exists.
The intensity of his gaze and the softness of his face take your breath away for an instant, reminding you why you are drawn to him in the first place. And a mix of emotions overwhelm you as you realize how much you've been longing for this moment.
Then you both shorten the little distance that separates you and finally you feel the sweet contact.
With no one around, no one else's eyes on you, just the two of you alone here, you kiss.
A slow and deep kiss, where you feel Aemond's lips soft and warm against yours, making you let yourself go and move closer to him if possible, taking one of your hands to caress his cheek.
And his body responds to your caresses, pulling you closer towards him as if he can't get enough, settling better into his lap and tilting his head to the side, deepening the kiss, where his hands run down your back, causing his touch to cause electric currents through your body.
Then you both pull away a little with a wet sound from their lips and you watch him directly into his eye, unable to believe this is actually happening, where Aemond breathes through his mouth and brings one of his hands up to your cheek, watching you intently and with that lazy smile.
"What?
With a small smile on your lips, you shake your head.
"Nothing," you reply in a soft tone and that makes him smile a little more, starting to trace your cheek with his fingers and your face with his gaze.
"You don't know what you're doing to me, love," he murmurs against your lips, his voice hoarse, "The way you make me feel… it's indescribable."
His words wash over you like a comforting warm wave, spreading throughout your chest and causing a sensation to settle in your lower abdomen.
His hand on your thigh slides all over your skin, producing shivers as he pulls you even closer and your whole body trembles slightly from the intensity in his desire as he shortens the distance again and his lips seek yours with a hunger that matches what you are feeling.
And in that moment there is no doubt or hesitation, only the overwhelming certainty of the connection that exists between the two of you. And just like him, you let your actions speak for you and everything you are feeling right now.
You deepen the kiss, as you lose yourself in the intoxicating rhythm of his kisses and your fingers gently glide over the skin of his face and run along the contours of his jaw.
"This wasn't in the contract," you murmur against his lips, agitated.
"No, it wasn't," he tells you just as agitated as you are, catching your lips with his again.
Then your other hand comes down on his bare chest, tracing his muscles and feeling the heat of his skin against yours, sending an electric shock that ignites a burning, fierce fire throughout his body.
Aemond moans against your lips and brings one of his hands to the back of your neck, tilting his head and holding you exactly where he wants you, while his other hand travels between the skin of your thighs and your lower back.
Then you decide to move on top of him and his breath hitches as he feels your movement and you too feel a tingle in your crotch.
Both he and you can feel the tension grow between the two of you and suddenly it is as if the world has vanished, existing only him and you with this moment of pure connection and desire.
And with each caress, you feel yourself falling more and more under the spell, lost in the intoxicating, indulgent pleasure you begin to experience. And with his heart beginning to pound, his caresses become more daring and urgent.
You too move with more purpose on top of him, beginning to feel a bulge grow just below your nerve center that caresses him and makes you feel so good.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asks against your lips.
"Please don't," you sentence, kissing him again.
You gasp against his lips and you both begin to gasp, feeling Aemond's chest rise and fall every instant, just like yours. And with the warm, comforting water enveloping you both it only makes it feel better.
You run your hands through his hair, pulling it away from his forehead to lean into him and continue kissing him as you continue to roll your hips on top of him, when he pulls away from you and begins to leave a trail of wet kisses from your cheek and down to your neck.
All your skin bristles and you let your head fall back, giving him more accessibility.
"Fuck," he murmurs hoarsely into the side of your neck.
And you lean into him again, kissing him, wanting to feel the caress of his lips on top of yours.
But then when the need and desire begins to build to a pace where Aemond thinks he won't be able to stop afterward, he decides to stop right there, pulling away from your lips and making you stop moving.
"Wait," he says to you in a low, husky tone, breathing through his mouth.
You look at him slightly confused, just as agitated as he is.
"What's wrong?" you say with your heart pounding in your chest as you take a deep breath.
He tries to catch his breath, closing his eye and resting his forehead against yours, still holding you above him.
"We can't," he says with some frustration.
You force yourself to take a deep breath, beginning to feel confusion and uncertainty invade you, watching him intently.
"Why not?" you ask in a whisper, still leaning into him.
He lets out a long breath through his nostrils, clearly fighting against the hardness beneath his shorts and keeping you on top of him in a way where you don't touch him or he'll go completely insane.
But his silence only makes you worry and think things that really aren't.
"Or is it that you don't want to do it with me?" you ask fearfully and with embarrassment starting to creep up on you.
"What?" he quickly looks at you, "No, no, that's not what I mean, of course I want to do it with you," he answers you quickly and completely honest, "But we can't do it here."
He points his gaze around you, to again look only at you with that intensity, revealing a mixture of his desires and his inner conflicts.
Oh.
A sense of relief washes over you as you realize it's not rejection, but concern for the circumstances.
"Ah… right," you say with a mixture of embarrassment and relief, also briefly glancing around you, "Sorry, I hadn't thought of that."
Aemond looks at you tenderly, his gaze softening with a mixture of desire, vulnerability, and what you think is love reflecting in its depths, then pulling your face towards him again.
"It's okay, we'll find another time," he assures you, his tone comforting.
You smile softly as you place your hands on both of his cheeks and he kisses you deeply again, causing you to melt into his arms and let yourself be completely carried away.
You feel embarrassed by your misunderstanding, but also grateful for his concern and consideration.
And you don't know exactly how long you both lasted inside the hot tub, just kissing and nothing more, occasionally playing with the bubbles, sharing an intimate and special moment together.
"I missed you," he murmurs against your lips, leaving a soft kiss that makes you smile.
"Me too," you confess, kissing him again.
And though desire still burns between the two of you, you both know it's best to wait and save that moment for a more private and suitable place.
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You still don't know what the fuck happened.
But what you do know is that you went to sleep with a silly smile on your lips and at dawn, you put the same silly smile back on your lips as you remembered everything that happened.
However, surprise and fear also flooded you after remembering exactly everything you and Aemond did.
The two of you were going to have sex.
You were going to have sex with him in a hot tub.
You didn't even care about anything, the fact that they were out in the open, the fact that you weren't physically or mentally ready or even the fact that you and he weren't even real boyfriend and girlfriend.
But you wanted to do it, God, you wanted it and badly.
He was even the one who had to stop everything when on another plane, you probably would have done it, but no. You weren't thinking, you were completely drunk with pleasure and now shame is the only thing you feel all over your body.
You can't even tell Alysanne because of the shame and because you know she won't stop laughing at you. You even plan not to leave the room to avoid running into him. But Alysanne makes you go with her to her first surfing lesson.
And ready for the day as you walk with her down the stairs to the main lobby, you think about how if things with Aemond were already weird and awkward before that moment, now the two of you won't even be able to see each other's eyes.
But to your surprise, that's not what happens.
There are several students and teachers already in the lobby when you see his characteristic silver hair, but before you can react and even think, Aemond walks towards you with a small smile as soon as he sees you and kisses you, surprising you since you definitely didn't expect that.
And of course you noticed the look Cregan gave you both, but more to you specifically, but you just told him with your look that you will talk to him about everything later.
And so you start your activities in Dragonstone, with Aemond.
Of course you first keep Alysanne company in her surfing lessons and after she is totally focused on that, you and Aemond spend time together.
Under the golden sun, painting the horizon with warm hues and golden sparkles on the ocean waves, you both enjoy a walk along the shore of the beach, enjoying the salty air and the sea breeze that envelops you.
You talk about everything and about almost nothing at the same time, him being the first one to dare to hold your hand while you enjoy your little walk, making the blood rise to your cheeks and you enjoy like every teenage girl in love these little moments.
Then you both play a game of volleyball, where you both laugh and have fun as you immerse yourselves in the game.
And clearly from running around so much in the intense sun and getting almost sweaty, you get the idea that you both should swim a bit and surprisingly Aemond doesn't refuse the idea, even though he doesn't know how to swim, but you offer to teach him.
In a gray two-piece bikini, you lead him out into the waves, explaining how to move in the water and breathe properly, causing him to begin to gain confidence and enjoy the sensation of being carried by the waves.
But of course after that would come the laughter and playfulness, both laughing and talking while enjoying the sun and the salt water.
And in that moment, the fun turned into an intimate moment as Aemond holds you by the waist, pulling you closer to him. There is a silent intention in his gaze as he touches your skin with his burning hand and you don't pull away, on the contrary, you lean towards him.
You wrap your legs around his torso and his lips press against yours in a deep kiss, losing themselves to each other in the middle of the sea.
And when you both separate, you look at each other with a mixture of shyness and affection, while Aemond places a damp lock behind your ear, feeling a pleasant sensation that he can't quite describe envelop him, especially at the moment when you again leave a soft, tender kiss on his lips.
And with beaming smiles on your faces, you both get out of the water and go upstairs to your rooms to bathe and change your clothes.
But then the two of you meet again and he accompanies you to explore the castle together, marveling at the ancient relics and all the history that surrounds the place.
He also accompanies you to the library to take some photos and to the roof terraces where you get magnificent views of the whole island.
And as you both move through the exhibits, Aemond more than anything couldn't resist hugging and kissing you, expressing his affection in every gesture and you of course didn't mind.
And in the castle's aquarium, you both find yourselves surrounded by fascinating sea creatures, sharing tender moments together as you watch the fish swim around.
The sea creatures seem to dance in the water, their bright colors and movements mesmerizing you as you walk among the tanks.
"You are beautiful," he murmurs against your lips, watching you with that bright glint in his eye as he watches the reflection of the sun and water on your face, creating an aura of serenity and beauty around him.
The blood rushes up to your cheeks and you smile shyly, feeling so silly.
"You are beautiful too, Aemond Targaryen."
You lean towards him and leave another soft kiss on his lips that he reciprocates instantly, taking you by the waist and bringing you completely closer to him, wanting to keep touching and kissing you.
But you both continue the little tour holding hands, where you also take pictures together and of everything you see around you, wanting to capture these moments.
And even though he and you haven't really talked about anything, this doesn't feel like you're both pretending. This feels real and you like the way it feels when you are with him, being completely honest and genuine with your feelings.
Then the day goes on as normal and as expected, after doing all the educational activities in a certain way, it's time for the party.
"There will be my friends, Cregan, my sister and well, Alysanne if she wants to come too," Aemond tells you as you both head towards your rooms.
"I'll convince her to go," you assure him.
"Okay, I'll see you in fifteen minutes then."
"All right," you smile at him.
He leaves down a different hallway from the one you're heading down since each of your rooms are separate and you're focused on getting ready for this party.
You don't know how, but he and his friends have arranged to take a yacht for the night. Obviously they are not going to ride around in it with the night sky, but apparently they have everything ready for everyone to drink and enjoy a while.
Fortunately you convince Alysanne and the three of you soon arrive at the yacht that is stranded in the west harbor of the island, where Aemond's friends are already there, getting everything ready.
Then the music plays, the LED lights turn on and the drinks begin to be served.
Sitting on Aemond's lap, you didn't think you'd have as good a time as you're having now, laughing and talking to everyone, occasionally hugging and kissing him.
And fortunately nothing unfortunate or unpleasant happens, there is only the company of your friends and you enjoy Aemond's presence, clinging to him at every opportunity, hugging him and singing some songs with him like everyone else, having a good time.
And fortunately in the following days there is no activity you don't do with Aemond, even now if you go for a yacht ride, where you can perfectly see some students and also Alysanne practicing surfing.
You also cheer up with the scooter ride, just like him, completely enjoying the moment and the experience.
And you honestly don't want any of it to end.
general taglist:
You want everything to continue to be perfect.
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@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @iloveallmyboys
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mapileonxputellas · 13 hours
Text
Beckham II: 3 Nerves
The third part is finally here! I hope you enjoy.
Masterlist can be found here.
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9th February 2023
“Breaking news this lunch time, Sarina Weigman had named her squad for the Arnold Clark cup and included in the squad for the first time in nearly 4 years is Y/N Beckham.” England squads weren’t typically breaking news on the main news channels but this was no ordinary squad announcement. “Widely considered as one of the best players on the planet, Beckham has not been including in an England squad since the 2019 World Cup and her return dominated the press conference.”
Squad announcement press conferences are usually comminated by a few stories, the surprise inclusions, the ones who don’t quite make the cut. However when the list was read out it was immediately clear what all the questions would be about today as the eyes of world football turned to Sarina.
“Sarina can you tell us more about Beckham’s inclusion? Why has this decision been taken now after 4 years?”
“I know you’re all probably very interested in that so I’ll try and answer all of your questions. This hasn’t been a simple process for either party, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been watching her since I became England manager but it’s not that simple and we had to respect the fact that Y/N did not want to be called up. Over the past few weeks I’ve been working closer with her and we’ve agreed that now is the right time to see if we can make progress.”
“The squad has changed a lot since then but there are still players who would were in the squad in 2019, have you spoken to them about this?”
“I have not, I’d like to think that all players support each other and I know my players well enough to know that they will do all they can to make Y/N feel welcome in this environment both on and off the pitch.”
“Do you have any concerns around her desire to play for England and play for the badge. Will she have lost that fight in the past four years?”
“I can not prove that to you and I guess none of us will know the answer until she plays for England again but I would not pick any player I had those concerns about. I’ve watcher her play a lot for Barcelona and over this past year especially I’ve seen a freedom to her play. I just hope that we can all see that side of her in an England shirt.”
“David, were you shocked when the announcement was made?”
“I mean obviously we spoke about prior to the announcement but when she told me I wasn’t exactly shocked. It just annoyed me that people questioned her mentally because she is so strong now.”
…..
Everyone could tell you were anxious. Since the announcement on Thursday you’d been quieter than usual in training, your usual sweet laughter which your teammates loved had been replaced by a strained giggle and they could see you’d been putting pressure on yourself in every department.
Everything had to be perfect.
In the four days since your decision had been made public you’d received support from all your teammates but you could see they were also worried. Many of them had been here when you joined, they’d seen the aftermath and many of them had been your shoulder to lean on for months after.
Many of them watched on now as you retreated into your room, barely giving a second glance to the games currently taking place in the dining room, a tradition you were a usual member of the night before an away game.
Alexia and Mapi had noticed the changes just like everyone else, the three of you had a strong connection both on and off the pitch. Alexia had become an older sister figure to you and Mapi was your platonic soul mate. They knew your habits unlike anyone else and when the notebook you used for anxious tattoo scribblings had been out the entire journey to Mallorca it was clear your mind was elsewhere.
“You grab the pillows.”
“I’ll grab the blankets.”
The two of them scurried off to their own rooms, finding their entrusted items before meeting back at the door which they knew you would be behind. You wouldn’t have gone outside, your shy nature meant you struggled to have confidence in new cities, preferring to explore with others rather than alone as the sun went down.
Alexia knocked on the door, a moment of panic striking as they thought you weren’t going to answer before the door creaked open. Your wide-eyed figure stood in the crack, still in the tracksuit you’d travelled in rather than pyjamas.
“What’s going on?” The tree of you quite often spent the nights in each other’s hotel rooms, though those meetings were usually pre-planned.
Only you knew from the worried expressions on their faces this wasn’t a call to watch the latest film that had been released. “We’re worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
You should have known that answer was never going to satisfy them. “Please can we come in.”
It wasn’t even worth trying to persuade them, not really. “Sure.” They couldn’t miss the sigh you let out as the door swung open. “Make yourself comfy.”
In the matter of minutes you’d gone from sprawling over the double bed alone to shuffling between the two players, being welcomed into the arms of Alexia as the three of you shuffled under the duvet.
“We’re worried about you.” MarÍa admitted, smoothing down the hair draped around your face. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure because I bet if we looked in that notepad we’d find more anxious doodles than before. You’ve barely spoken two words to anyone since the news broke out.”
“I read an article-“
“Didn’t I tell you to stop that.” Alexia scolded you. “Those journalists don’t know anything about you.”
“But they don’t know that.” You argued back. “They’ll be reading about how ‘cocky’ I am on and off the pitch, how I flaunt my money, how I think I ‘own the team’.”
“If they believe that then they really have no eyes. Then they’ll see how you’re one of the shiest players on the team, they’ll learn how you could live in mansion but donate so much money to charity, they’ll see how much you work on the team as a whole. You do everything for football and they need to see that.”
“If they don’t love the person they’ll come to know then that’s on them.” Alexia agreed with her.
“Are you sure this isn’t about a certain blonde centre back?” MarÍa teasingly questioned you. “Maybe this isn’t about you being nervous about the articles and more about going into gay panic around Miss Williamson.”
“I told you that in confidence that you’d never bring it up again.” It was true, a few years ago you had confided in the two of them that you used to have a small (very large) crush on Leah at the time.
“And I’m tired of you being the third wheel in our flat, you’ve rejected every opportunity for me to set you up with one of my friends so now I have to think that it’s because you’re still pining for the girl.”
“I’m not pining for anyone, it was a stupid crush which has gone in the four years that I haven’t spoken to the girl.”
“Would you like to speak to her again?” Alexia asked.
“I mean obviously I’m going to have to, she’s the captain of the team.”
“Message her now.”
“No.”
“Why not?” I could only think of a million reasons why I wasn’t about to do that.
“Because like I said, I haven’t spoken to her in nearly four years and it would be weird for me to just message her the night before we see each other again.”
“So lets role play it then, you walk into the hotel tomorrow and she’s there, what are you going to say?” Alexia asked the question you’ve been asking yourself all week.
“Hi.”
Both of them looked like they wanted to tear out both their own and your hair. “Ok you can’t just say that.”
“What else do you want me to say?”
“How are you? Ask her about her life?”
“You want me to speak to the girl for the first time in years and ask her basically how she’s been since we went from speaking every day to unfollowing each other on social media and avoiding any chance of meeting since then.” You needed better friends in situations like this. “I’m not going heavy on our first conversation.”
“You will need to talk about.”
“I know but it’s not just her I need to have that conversation with, I was close with a lot of them and now I’m not. They should be just as involved in that conversation as Leah is.”
“Maybe you could design her a little tattoo, something like ‘I love Y/N’ on her forehead.” MarÍa teased you. “Matches your ‘I love Leah’ on your chest.”
“Shut up, just so you know I’ll never stop cockblocking you and Ingrid, I’ll be round for tea when I get back.”
“Bonnie told me she wants to live with me all the time by the way, said something about her mum abandoning her.”
“Fuck off MarÍa.”
….
The first person to reach out to you wasn’t exactly someone you expected. Mary Earps wasn’t exactly in your friendship group back in 2019, though because she was a part of that squad she was one of the players who you unfollowed in the following unfortunate events. You definitely therefore were not expecting to see her name pop up as you made your way through the airport, heading out to the car which would take you back to your parents’ house before you headed to the team hotel later on in the evening.
@1maryearps: See you later mate, we can’t wait to have you back x
Your emotions were so all over the place that maybe you should have expected this simple message to bring tears to your eyes. Maybe that meant you’d have at least one person on your side tonight.
You spent most of the meal with parents and siblings trying to do anything to avoid the thoughts about what was happening tonight coming back. You spoke to Harper about her homework, Cruze about his latest holiday and Romeo about his girlfriend. Brooklyn could almost sense your nervousness and kept up the conversation, which was all fine until you had to leave.
They knew how big this moment was and each gave you an individual goodbye before you got back into the car. As much as you would have liked to have taken your dad’s offer to drive you, this was all about being normal and being drove by David Beckham didn’t really give off that vibe.
You’d made this drive a million times before, only this time it seemed to take half the time and before you knew it the doors to St George’s Park were in view.
The only person in view was a single man holding a video camera, obviously preparing for the players’ arrivals This was hard and yet you knew this was probably the easiest step, he didn’t know you. You got out from the car, flashing a small smile to the camera as it trained on your every move, making sure to say a thank you to the driver, you turned to head inside.
“How are you feeling Y/N?” The camera man asked.
“Excited.” You couldn’t exactly tell him you were shaking inside. “I can’t wait to be back with this amazing team.”
“Two goals from you today….”
“All thanks to my teammates.” It was only the truth, you were basically set up for both goals by Aitana, you couldn’t do anything but put them in the back of the net.
“Good luck.”
“Thank you very much.”
If you were known for one thing it would be your punctuality, in fact you almost had a fear of being late. Maybe you’d done it on purpose this time to avoid greeting teammates in front of the camera but you were the first here judging by the table in the reception area being full of keys.
“Y/N it’s good to finally meet you in person.” Anja, one of the members of the England management team greeted you. “I hope you’re feeling well.”
“I’m glad to be here,” You settled for that. “I can’t wait to get back on that pitch now.”
“Well we’re glad to have you here. Here’s your key, we’ll meet in the dining area for a quick debrief at 8 and then you’ll have the night to yourself. Training schedules for the week are in your key pack.”
“Thank you.”
This place hadn’t changed one bit, from the entrance all the way up to your rooms you could trace the steps without even looking. You could hear noise out in the corridor but you stayed put, waiting for the clock to tick to 7:50 before making your way downstairs. With it being ten minutes early no one was there but Sarina and the coaching staff. Could this technically count as your first impression to them?
Their eyes trained on you as you entered the room. “Hey, thank you once again.”
“Stop saying thank you, this is all on you.” Sarina instructed, giving you a firm yet welcoming hug, an action which was repeated by the others. “Go and take a seat.”
“Thank-“ Maybe not. “Ok Sarina.”
You didn’t really know what to expect from the others, the squad was definitely a mixture of youth and experience. However even some of the more established players like Alessia and Ella were unknown to you on a personal level.
Thankfully maybe the first ones in were some of the younger players, Jess Park and Ebony Salmon were both the epitome of excitement as they entered the room saying a quick hello to the staff before slightly pausing when they found me sat on the first row.
“Hi.” You knew it was on you to make the effort. “It’s nice to meet you both.”
“Nice to meet you too.” Jess said taking the seat next to me. “You’re killing it at Barcelona.”
“Thank you, I’ve enjoyed watching you play this season. You’ll be an asset at city when you return.” You loved studying young players and watching their development. Jess was no difference in that, plus it helped to build up that connection on the team.
The volume in the room increased as more players entered. Some like Laura Coombs and Katie Zelem gave you a quick smile before taking their seats, other youngsters gave you a quick welcome.
The first real re-introduction you had was when Millie and Rachel entered, your eyes instantly connecting and it was Rachel who led the two of them over. You had always loved the two of them and almost let out a sigh of relief when they both greeted you with hugs, repeating how glad they were to see you. Lucy and Jordan followed suit, the two of them messing about and pulling you into a tight hug before taking their seats.
It was however the final people to enter the room that you were the most nervous about. Maybe you should have been thankful that when Keira, Georgia and Leah entered the room the meeting was about to start and all you could do was send a glancing look their way before Sarina had eyes on her.
She went through the logistics, just like happens every time before she got into the depths of the squad. “It would seem like this is the squad for reintroducing yourself. Laura hasn’t been with us since 2020 and Y/N in 2019. We just want everyone to remember that they’re here for a reason and we all play for England, we’re all a team.”
You blocked everything else out, vaguely scribbling down on your phone some notes about the timings and rooms you were needed in but it was all a bit of a blur. You took your time at the end speaking to some of the other girls, no-one seemed to be making a huge fuss about the situation but the trio had disappeared again and you knew you had to speak to them tonight before this started to interfere with the rest of the camp.
Thankfully you managed to find them, the three of them tucked away in the corner of the dining room, huddled around a laptop playing something in German.
“Hey.” Your voice almost cracked as you broke through the silence. “It’s good to see you all.”
You should have predicted really that Keira and Georgia would be your road in, though the two of them were fierce on the pitch they really were softies off it and you were almost knocked off your feet when they bounded up to you, both their arms wrapping around you in a hug.
“We can’t believe you’re actually here.” Georgia said. “This is just crazy.”
“It’s definitely different.” Leah finally joined in and that was the moment you knew even as she joined in the hug, she was the one who would be the toughest to crack. She wasn’t going to let you in just as easy but the captain part of her probably forced her to not let it show around others. “Glad to have you back on the team.”
“Thank you.”
“Take a seat.” Keira glanced to the free chair next to Leah. “We were just watching Georgia make a fool of herself, want to join?”
“Yeah I’d like that, I’d like that a lot.”
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ssahotchnerr · 2 days
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thinking about celebrating jacks bday with aaron🥺
like maybe it’s just a chill year and you guys just go out for dinner and do cake later in the day
or bday party with all his friends and it’s star wars themed
awww yes 🥹 tw food, the haley part makes me want to sob btw
jack's birthday happens to fall on a weekday, so he has school, both you and aaron have work.
so when you wake him up!!! hehe you shower him with sooo much love and make sure his morning is off to the bestest start. both you and aaron tease him a bit too 🤭 - asking why and how is he growing up so fast and to please stop so he can be your little jack forever (and jack pinky promises he always will be 😭😭😭)
instead of the usual oatmeal or cereal for breakfast, aaron got jack's favorite doughnuts 🥹 and hehe you even put a birthday candle on one so you can sing happy birthday to him before he's off to school. and if there's time, jack gets to open one present to tie him over for the day 🥰
you also pack jack's lunch with some fun surprises too <33 maybe instead of a sandwich, he gets a lunchable which is a somewhat rare occurrence and he is THRILLED to find it at lunchtime. also!! you baked brownies for jack's class so they can all celebrate him, but you put an extra brownie in his lunch to spoil him just a lil more
and after school <333 you lounge around with jack until aaron gets home 🥹 since it was his birthday, he has a no homework pass from his teacher 🫶🏻 so you hear all about his fun day, watch his favorite movie, play with the gift he got that morning (legos), and hehe jack is sooooo impatient for aaron to get home to begin all the birthday festivities; he just keeps asking you "whennn is dad gonna get home🥺"
and when he (finally) does 🥰🥰🥰 jack opens the rest of his presents, the three of you go to his favorite restaurant (or order it to go to enjoy in the comfort of home, whatever jack's feeling), and finish the day off with birthday cake of course <333 and if jessica is available!!! she joins as well 🫶🏻
and 🥺 at bedtime, the three of you snuggle up closely in jack's bed, and aaron get's jack's 'haley candle' for him to talk to her - this is a must on his birthday. jack tells her about his day, his favorite things he's done the past year, and anything he wants to do the next 🥺 (and while jack doesn't express any sadness per se - he's just talking to haley so easily and naturally - you peek over at aaron and see him very quickly swipe away a tear☹️☹️☹️☹️ you stretch your arm out behind jack to give aaron's shoulder a comforting squeeze 🥺) (wait i wanna write a blurb about this) once the candle is extinguished, jack get's his goodnight forehead kisses, and both you and aaron tell him how much you love him, and how much he is loved, and wish him happy birthday just one more time 🥹
and over the weekend!!! jack's two birthday parties 🥳 one with all his friends, at some bounce-house place or something of the sorts. (pls aaron just in complete dad mode😭 wearing a tshirt and dad jeans, standing there with arms crossed 🤨 as he supervises the kids and assists you as needed <3333) AND one with the bau family of course 🥰🥰🥰
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agaypanic · 1 day
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Is this how you request a fic? I have no idea but I’ll try. I’m craving Regina George content. Can you please write something where reader is apart of the plastics but she’s not mean like the rest of them and that’s why Regina likes her. When Cady shows up and Regina has an interest in cady it’s too make reader jealous but instead cady ends up liking reader who distances herself from the plastics and then Regina gets jealous and admits her feelings so reader doesn’t end up with cady. If that makes sense? Thank you!
Craving Your Attention (Regina George X Plastic!Reader)
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Summary: Regina George is the queen of North Shore High and she doesn’t like to share her toys, even if she doesn’t really play with them. 
A/N: kinda toxic!regina even tho thats not really a surprise. slight cady x reader, she likes you instead of aaron (also aaron doesn’t exist teehee). The girls arent homophobic bc cady tells gretchen she likes reader and regina ends up with reader (saying this bc idk if you’re gonna read this with 2004 regina or 2024 regina in mind, and obviously 2004 was a different time lmao) content warning for diet talk but it’s just part of one scene. Heavily relied on the mean girls (2004) script for this fic, so it's almost all written centered around Cady. all in third person which felt a lil weird to write because i usually write in second person lol idk if anyone’s gonna want a part 2 but imma lyk rn that im not planning on writing a part 2, mainly bc this took so painstakingly long
***
Everyone at North Shore High knew about Regina George. They’d be stupid not to. She was practically royalty. 
A queen bee was nothing without her little worker bees. First was Karen Smith. She seemed to give a whole new meaning to the word ‘clueless,’ but she was friendly. In more ways than one.
Then there’s Gretchen Wieners. She was Regina’s eyes and ears, whether it was wanted or not. All she wanted to do was please her leader.
And finally, there was Y/n L/n. If any of the plastics were to be deemed approachable, it was her. She was Regina’s right-hand girl, maybe even a bit more than that. But no one ever brought that up.
But then Cady Heron came to North Shore.
“Is he bothering you?” Regina tilted her head as she looked at the redheaded girl and the familiar boy who was talking to her. Y/n, who was sitting next to Regina, looked up from her food in curiosity. Regina didn’t usually talk to anyone outside of the table during lunch. The girl made a nondescript noise, so Regina turned her attention to the boy. “Jason, why are you such a skeez?”
Jason rolled his eyes, but tried to seem polite.
“I’m just being friendly.”
“You were supposed to call me last night,” Gretchen pouted, looking over her shoulder at Jason.
“Jason.” Attention was brought back to Regina with the simple call of his name. She wore a sweet smile, which meant that Jason was probably about to get a bite taken out of him. “You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She’s not interested.” Regina then turned to the redheaded girl. “Do you wanna have sex with him?”
She looked shocked, giving an immediate no.
“Good. So it’s settled.”
“You can go shave your back now,” Y/n finished, and the four plastics waved him off. Jason walked away, but not before muttering an insult to the girls.
“Good one,” Regina said quietly to Y/n, who couldn’t help but smile a bit at the small praise. Before she could reply, Regina’s eyes followed after the red-haired girl, who was now starting to walk away. “Wait.” The single word made her stop in her tracks and look back. “Sit down.”
Regina moved her hands, signaling Gretchen and Karen to move to the sides of the lunch bench to make room for this mystery girl. After some more encouragement, she sat down.
“What’s your name?” Y/n asked sweetly, trying to ease the girl’s nerves.
“Cady.”
“Why don’t I know you?” Regina asked, looking at Cady curiously.
“I’m new,” Cady replied. “I just moved here from Africa.”
“What?”
“I used to be home-schooled.”
“Wait. What?”
Cady took a second, wondering why Regina kept saying ‘what.’ She didn’t think it was that confusing.
“My mom taught me at home-”
“No, no.” Regina laughed. “I know what ‘home-school’ is; I’m not stupid. So, you’ve actually never been to a real school before?”
As she spoke, Regina leaned more and more forward towards Cady. And as the conversation continued, Y/n wondered why Regina was taking such an interest in her. Regina never cared about anyone who passed by, too involved in the latest gossip session Gretchen had started or in Y/n’s appearance. Not that Y/n really noticed that; she was busy thinking about Regina to see that Regina was thinking about her. Either way, she didn’t understand why the blonde was suddenly so fascinated by this new girl.
“You’re like, really pretty.”
Oh… That must be why.
Y/n seemed to tune the rest of the conversation out, too wrapped up in Regina’s compliment towards Cady and the bright smile she wore while giving it. She didn’t know why it bothered her. It’s not like Regina belonged to her. If anything, Y/n, along with the rest of the Plastics, belonged to Regina.
Even when Regina brought Gretchen and Karen in close to speak to them and Y/n, leaving Cady awkwardly leaning back to give them more privacy, Y/n didn’t care much to listen. The gist of the conversation was that they wanted Cady to sit with them at lunch for a week, something they had never considered doing with anyone else in this school.
“Okay.” Regina started as Gretchen and Karen relaxed back into their seats, and Cady leaned back in. “You should just know that we don’t do this a lot, so this is, like, a really huge deal. We wanna invite you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week.” Regina wore a grin that meant she was up to something, but Cady didn’t seem to decipher that, and the rest of the girls didn’t know what it meant.
“Oh, it’s okay—” Cady’s tone seemed to indicate that she was about to decline, but Regina interrupted her before she could.
“Coolness.” The bell rang, and Regina’s eyes darted over to Y/n before going back to Cady. Her mischievous smile remained present as she, Gretchen, and Karen grabbed their trays. “So we’ll see you tomorrow.”
The three Plastics stood up and left the table, leaving Y/n in a slight daze and Cady confused about what had just happened. Y/n suddenly looked around, realizing that her friends had left without her, but the new girl was still with her. She figured that she should say something before leaving her alone. She didn’t have to be mean or unpleasant just because Regina seemed to like Cady.
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” Y/n said it with a timid but sweet smile, trying to get over the revelation that the girl she loved was setting her sights on someone else. Her hand patted Cady’s a few times before she stood up and picked up her tray. “Welcome to North Shore.”
As Cady watched Y/n leave, and as Janis and Damian dragged the redhead away to interrogate her about her interaction with Regina, she couldn’t help but feel warm. Maybe public school wouldn’t be so bad.
***
The next day, Cady was slightly nervous to sit with the Plastics. She felt like a double spy. Janis and Damian were under the impression that Cady was doing it for them, to listen in on Regina’s secrets and relay them back to her friends so they could laugh at the pathetic and superficial nature of it all. And sure, that was the main reason she was sitting with the girls. But Cady also returned to the table so she could bask in a new light, Y/n. 
But living in girl world came with a bunch of rules.
“You can’t wear a tank top two days in a row, and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. So…” Gretchen laughed lightly, seeming a little nervous for no reason as she looked at Cady, who was wearing her hair in a ponytail. “I guess you picked today. Oh! And we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays.”
“Which totally blows in the winter,” Y/n muttered before sipping her Diet Coke.
“Now,” Gretchen started again, “if you break any of these rules, you can’t sit with us at lunch.” Cady seemed surprised, but Gretchen continued. “Not just you! Like, any of us. Okay, so, like, if I was wearing jeans today, I would be sitting over there with the art freaks.” She said it with a grimace, pointing over to a table a few feet away from the girls before looking back at Cady. “Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us, because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.”
Everyone nodded except for Cady, who was processing all of these new rules she had to follow.
“I wouldn’t?”
“Right,” Gretchen said with a definitive nod. “And it’s the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.”
���One hundred twenty calories and forty-eight calories from fat,” Regina interrupted, reading a food bar that she had grabbed. She looked at her friends inquisitively. What percent is that?”
“Uh… forty-eight into one hundred and twenty?” Gretchen suggested, not really sure of herself.
“No, I don’t think so, Gretch,” Y/n said, trying to think of the correct answer.
“I’m only eating foods with less than thirty percent calories from fat.”
“It’s forty percent,” Cady said suddenly, proud that she was able to do the equation in her head. Everyone looked at her, expressions varying from impressed to confused. Cady suddenly felt the need to show her work. “Well, forty-eight over a hundred and twenty equals X over a hundred-”
“So then you cross multiply to get X!” Y/n finished off with a grin, thrilled that she knew what Cady was talking about. Cady smiled back at her with the same excited energy, although looking a little more subdued. Not only was this girl super pretty and friendly, but she also seemed decently smart. Maybe Janis was wrong about these girls.
“Whatever.” Regina looked at the two girls suspiciously. She tossed the food bar onto the table and stood up. “I’m getting cheese fries. Y/n, come with me.”
Taken back by the sudden command, Y/n stumbled out of her seat and followed Regina. Cady’s eyes followed her until she was out of sight, and she sighed quietly when she couldn’t catch a glimpse of the girl anymore. 
“So!” Gretchen startled Cady with her enthusiastic voice and a hand on her shoulder. As she turned to look at her, Cady realized that Karen was also gone from the table. She must’ve gone to the bathroom or somewhere else. “Have you seen anyone you think is cute yet?”
Cady didn’t know how to answer. There was definitely one person that came to mind, but she didn’t know if she should say the name. Gretchen might react badly if Cady told her, which would most likely lead to her getting kicked out of the Plastics.
But at the same time, she didn’t want to lie. 
“Well… there’s this one.. girl.” The last word was quiet and hesitant, but Gretchen picked up on it.
“Oh my gosh, who is it?” She asked excitedly. “Do you think it’s just like, a phase, or is it more serious?”
“I dunno.” Cady shrugged. “I haven’t known her too long to be sure.”
“Who is it?” Gretchen leaned forward in her seat, completely invested in Cady’s answer. It took the redhead a long moment of hesitancy to open her mouth.
“It’s Y/n…”
“No!” Gretchen straightened up, looking absolutely horrified. She looked around, ensuring none of the other girls were back yet. “You can’t like Y/n. Not only is she a part of the group, but… Okay, you didn’t hear this from me, and you’re, like, totally forbidden from ever bringing it up. But Regina is really possessive over Y/n. They’ve been best friends for, like, forever, and Regina chases off anyone who tries to so much as ask her out. And it’s not my place to say whether or not it’s more than friendship, but if I had to say something, there’s definitely something going on between them.” Gretchen took a much-needed breath, shaking her head slightly to clear her jumbled thoughts. “Look, the point is, you shouldn’t date friends. Especially Regina’s friends. But don’t worry, I’ll never tell Regina or Y/n what you said. It’ll be our little secret.”
Gretchen gave Cady a sweet smile, and that seemed to be the end of their little conversation. But for the next few days, Cady kept thinking about it.
She didn’t want to get on Regina’s bad side. That would mean no more things to tell Janis and Damian and no more seeing Y/n. And she also didn’t want to freak Y/n out. But just because Cady wasn’t allowed to like Y/n didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to look at her. Or think about her. Or talk to her.
A few days later, when Cady was with Janis and Damian at the mall, Janis asked when Cady would see Regina next. She said it felt weird to spy on her and that she didn’t want to do it anymore. And sure, it being weird was part of why she wanted to stop. But mainly, it was because Cady had started getting so distracted by Y/n that it was difficult to focus on Regina. Which was strange, because the blonde girl was so alluring. But Janis reassured Cady that Regina would never find out about her double agent status, that it would be their little secret.
So many secrets.
***
“Hello?” Cady held the phone up to her ear, wondering who was calling her at this late hour.
“I know your secret.” Cady stiffened at Regina’s voice coming through the speaker. She internally panicked, trying to figure out what to do. How did Regina figure out about Cady’s spying?
“Secret?” She decided that playing it cool was the better move. “What secret?”
“Gretchen told me that you like Y/n.” Cady relaxed at the fact that Regina had learned about her other secret, before freezing again. Right now, she wondered if it would be better if Regina knew about the spying. “I mean, I don’t care, do whatever you want.” Regina didn’t sound like she didn’t care, but Cady didn’t bring it up. “But let me just tell you something about Y/n: She’s, like, never gone on a date before. It’s not that she’s not pretty or anything, but no one’s ever really been good enough for her.”
“Oh?” What did this mean? Did Regina deem Cady good enough for Y/n after so many others tried and failed? Or was this a set-up?
Honestly, Cady was so happy for Regina’s blessing that she didn’t really care.
“I could talk to her for you, if you want.”
“Really? You would do that?”
“We’ve been friends since like, pretty much birth. I know exactly how to play it.” There was a moment of silence, and Cady could picture Regina picking at her nails. “But wait. Aren’t you mad at Gretchen for telling me? Because if you are, you can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do.”
“Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I’m not mad.” Cady was a little mad, but she didn’t feel like saying that. “I mean, it’s better she told you instead of Y/n. I dunno, I guess she just likes the attention.” Cady didn’t know why she said that last part, but it had just spilled out of her mouth.
“See, Gretch? I told you she’s not mad at you.” Cady was a bit confused, but then another voice spoke.
“I can’t believe you think I like attention!” There was a click, and Cady assumed the Gretchen had hung up. She had no idea she was even listening.
“Okay, love you. See you tomorrow!” Cady could hear Regina’s smile, and then there was another click followed by a dial tone, showing that Cady was now the only one on the line. She then hung up herself, processing the three-way call she had just survived.
And then after that, Cady realized that she had gotten Regina’s blessing to try to pursue Y/n.
***
“What day is it?” Y/n asked, looking down at her worksheet. She didn’t usually do homework at lunch, but lately, some of her classes had been kicking her ass. 
“It’s October third,” Cady answered almost immediately, catching the suspicious eyes of Regina and Gretchen.
“Thanks, Cady,” Y/n said, looking up at the girl and giving her a sweet smile before returning to her paper.
“I dunno why you don’t just ask one of the Mathlete dorks to do it for you,” Regina said, looking over Y/n’s shoulder. “They’d probably even do it for free.”
“We’ve talked about this, Regina. If my teacher didn’t catch on, it would still totally bite me in the ass when I’d have to do a test all by myself.”
“You need help with math?” Cady asked, subtly leaning closer to Y/n. The girl looked at Cady, now completely distracted from her work.
“Yeah! I used to get it, but trig is crazy hard.” Y/n sighed, delicately rubbing at her tired eyes so she didn’t mess up her makeup. “I feel like I’m never gonna get it.”
“I can help you!” Cady said, excited over this opportunity. She had always excelled in mathematics, and now Y/n needs help with that exact subject? It seemed like fate.
“Really?” Both Y/n and Cady missed the slight glare that Regina was giving them. 
“Oh right, Cady’s like, a total nerd.” They also chose to ignore Regina’s snide comment before sipping her Diet Coke.
“That would be amazing, Cady! Maybe I could come over after school today or something?”
Cady was about to say yes, a million times yes, but Regina butted in.
“Y/n, you’re coming over to my house today.” It didn’t really feel like Regina was reminding her of forgotten plans. Instead, it sounded like Regina was coming up with a reason for Y/n to be unavailable. Cady’s suspicions were confirmed by the confused look Y/n gave the blonde.
“I am?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh… Well, how about tomorrow?”
“Perfect!” Cady spoke quickly and enthusiastically before Regina could say another word.
***
Over the next month or so, Cady tutored Y/n a few days every week. It quickly became their favorite part of their days. After helping with a few problems Y/n was stuck on, the two girls would get distracted by conversations about whatever they wanted to talk about. Neither of them felt the need to filter themselves in fear of being made fun of by one of the other Plastics, mainly Regina. Topics ranged from the latest gossip to future plans to their favorite things in media. If Cady had never heard of something Y/n brought up, which was the case nine times out of ten, the tutoring session would turn into a movie night or music party.
“Oh my gosh, so…” Y/n and Cady were in the middle of watching a chick flick that Cady had never seen when Y/n suddenly spoke. “I’m having a Halloween party at my place. We usually do it at Regina’s, but for some reason, she didn’t feel like doing it this year. Are you gonna come?” 
“Yeah, sure.” Cady’s response made Y/n smile brightly, a sight that Cady could never get sick of.
“Awesome!” Y/n sat up from her slouched position, her excitement waking her up from her slightly tired state. “It’s a costume party, which’ll be a lot of fun. I can give you a flier with all the info tomorrow. Even though I know you’re invited, you need the flier to get in. It only admits one person, so don’t bring anyone else with you.”
“Grool.” Y/n blinked in slight confusion, and Cady realized what she had said. “I… I meant to say ‘cool,’ and then I started to say ‘great.’”
Y/n giggled, which made Cady’s cheeks heat up.
“Right. Well, grool.” The two laughed, and then Y/n looked down at her watch. “Oh my gosh, it’s so late. I should probably get going.” With the help of Cady, Y/n gathered her things. “See you tomorrow!” In a flash, Y/n kissed Cady’s cheek before walking out of the room and leaving Cady’s house. Cady’s cheeks felt like they were on fire, and she lightly touched the cheek Y/n had kissed.
***
One thing that no one told Cady was that on Halloween, many girls opted for very revealing costumes rather than actual costumes. So when she arrived at Y/n’s house, she stuck out like a sore thumb in her dead bride attire while her friends wore tight clothes and animal ears.
“Why are you so scary?” Gretchen asked with concern, looking at Cady’s appearance with wide eyes.
“It’s Halloween,” Cady said with a shrug, not knowing what the problem was.
Suddenly, a hand touched Cady’s arm, making her jump. But she quickly relaxed when she saw who was touching her.
“You came!” Y/n squealed, bringing Cady in for a hug. The redhead felt a bit flustered by the contact, plus seeing Y/n in her slightly revealing outfit. When they broke the embrace, Y/n held Cady by the shoulders, surveying her outfit. “And you’re a… zombie bride…?”
“An ‘ex-wife.’” Cady replied, using her fingers to air quote.
“Well, I love it.” Y/n finally let go of Cady, although she wouldn’t have been opposed if she kept holding onto her. “You want something to drink?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll be right back.” 
Y/n squeezed Cady’s arm for a quick moment before turning around. She weaved her way through the crowd to get to the kitchen, where a shit load of different drinks were scattered on the counters. She started mixing a drink for Cady when she felt a presence behind her.
“What the hell is Cady wearing?” Regina asked, squinting to see Cady from across the room.
“She’s a zombie bride!”
“She looks like a freak.”
“Regina!” Y/n set down the bottle she was pouring and looked at the blonde. “Be nice.”
“Whatever.” Regina rolled her eyes, pushing her hair off her shoulder before leaning on the kitchen counter. “You know, you should probably be careful around her. She has a giant crush on you.”
“What?” Y/n’s eyes snapped to Regina, immediately curious. “How do you know?”
“She told me. She tells everybody. It’s kinda cute, to be honest. She’s like a little girl.” Regina laughed, and Y/n tilted her head and raised her brows, silently asking for more details. “Like, she writes ‘Y/n plus Cady’ and stuff like that all over her notebook. And she made this shirt that says ‘I heart Y/n’ and she wears it under all of her clothes.
“Oh, come on.” Y/n sighed and rolled her eyes, figuring Regina had been joking. “That’s not funny, Regina.”
“I’m serious! She’s, like, obsessed with you. And who can blame her?” Regina’s hand reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair away from Y/n’s face. When Y/n looked at her friend, she was suddenly closer than before. “I mean, you’re gorgeous.”
“Regina.”
“If I’m being honest… I hate the way she looks at you.” Regina grabbed Y/n’s chin before she could look away, forcing them to maintain eye contact. “It makes me sick. She should know better than to think she has a chance with you.”
“What are you saying, Regina?” Y/n’s voice was barely a whisper, but the blonde heard her loud and clear despite being in a crowded room with blasting music and semi-drunk teenagers.
“I’m saying you’re mine, Y/n.” With every word, Regina inched closer and closer. “I don’t want you to be with Cady. Or with anyone else.” 
Regina closed the small gap between her and Y/n’s lips, wrapping her arms around Y/n’s body to keep her close. After the wave of shock washed over her, Y/n reciprocated the kiss. Neither of them cared about any of the people around them watching. Including Cady, who watched from across the room with watery eyes and a breaking heart. 
Cady had lost Y/n to a competition she didn’t even know she had. Y/n had finally gotten the girl she had been wanting for years after being kept at arm’s length away. And Regina had once again ruined someone else’s happiness for her own.
***
Regina George Taglist: @wedfan2 @pyro-les @natashamaximoff-69
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rafesslxt · 14 hours
Text
neglected | mattheo riddle
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summary: Theodore completly ignores you and doesnt take it serious that you miss him while he flirts with another girl at a party.. so his best friend has to help you filling up that hole inside your … chest.
warning: cheating? but is it if he does it first?, mattheo eating out the reader, fingering, nipple play, teasing, dirty talk, getting caught, he‘s a munch don‘t fight with me over this -
note: i do not support cheating, this is just for the story
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— monday —
I don‘t know how many times I already begged but from time to time.. i felt more and more neglected.
"Theo, please just this one weekend! You had been busy with your friends and studying the last 3 weeks!" Yeah, 3 weeks since my boyfriend went on a date with me, had some quality time or touched me.
"Y/n I told you I don‘t have time. I already promised the boys I‘d come to the party. We‘ll see us there, I have to go study now, with Lydia." Before I could even say a word he left his dorm. I hear a chuckle coming from the other side of the room, making me turn my head in it’s direction.
"Told you you deserve better baby." Mattheo, Theodore‘s best friend said, sitting on his bed. They share a dorm and every now and then he would see Theo and me arguing.
I huff and leave the room, a aching feeling in my body.
— the next day —
"Theo please, I need you. You didn‘t touch me once the last few weeks." I whine into his ear, sitting next to him. He just groans, but not the way I want him to and gets up with his book in his hands. "Don‘t you see that you‘re distracting me?" Irritated he leaves the room, probably walking off to the library again.
Ugh.. i let myself fall back down onto the mattress and cross my arms over my face. Is it my fault? Did my body change somehow? Why the hell won‘t he touch me? But before I could continue my thoughts, I hear the door again, my head shooting up, hoping it is Theo who changed his mind but no, it‘s Mattheo. I groan frustrated and let my head fall back.
"Wow nice to see you too baby, but I think you‘re laying on the wrong bed." he says, teasing me.
"Sometimes I think like that too." I mumble into my arms and more to myself.
"What was that?" he asks. "Nothing."
— two days later —
Patiently I wait on Theo‘s bed, dressed all up.. or down, in his favorite lingerie set and a pair of black knee socks. When we got together half a year ago he told me he loved them on me, made my legs look even longer.
As the door opens my heart starts beating faster and I look up, shrieking and pulling the blanket over my body as I see who it is. "Damn mami is that for me?" Mattheo asks as he stand in front of Theo‘s bed with a smirk on his face, his mouth wide open.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked furious, not wanting him to see me like that. What If Theo comes in and would see us, what would he think?
"Last time I checked this is my room, sweetcheeks." "But you‘re supposed to have quidditch practice!" I whine and look for my clothes.
He chuckles and steps a bit closer as I stand up from the bed. "Could you turn around? I wanna get dressed." "No." "You are such a pain in the ass!" I roll my eyes at him and take my wand, mumbling "Colloportus“. and holding it towards the door so no one can come inside.
I let go of the blanket, thinking fuck it, and grab my skirt, pulling it over my legs and then my hips. "Did your cute little boyfriend leave you unsatisfied again?" he grins and takes a step closer. "You know.. I could help you with that." he says in a suggestive tone. "He’s your best friend Mattheo, stop this shit." "I can’t princess. Hurts me to see that pretty little body of yours, knowing how desperate it must be after all these weeks." he whispers the last part as he lets his fingers slowly brush over my arm, sending shivers down my spine. "See? It’s so hot for just a little attention." "No, it is cold, thats why." I say, swallowing down the clump in my throat as i nod towards the opened window.
Just as I wanted to reach down for my top, I see Mattheo getting down on his knees in front of me. He looks up and licks his lips. Damn.. something about a men on his knees for me made me feel slme type of way.
"Please let me touch your legs, please. Need to know how soft these pretty thighs feel." I could feel his warm breath against my skin, again, sending shivers down my… spine. wet pussy
"Mattheo get the fuck up I swear to god!" i hiss at him. Yes I closed the door with a spell but it wasn‘t really hard for everyone above first years to open it with a spell.
"Please, I swear If you let me just touch it I‘m gonna leave you alone for the rest of the week!" he pleads, looking at my face and then my legs. I sigh as I think about letting him. Damn was I really thinking about it? Am I really going to let my boyfriends best friend touch my thighs?
But I mean.. nothing’s wrong If I don‘t feel anything for it, right? Plus he would just leave me alone for a bit. "Fine." I press out.
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel his big warm hands on my thighs. "Shit.." he mumbles as he lets them wander up and down my legs. He slighty squeezes them, making me sigh in relief.
I feel his curls against my skin before I can look down and see him kissing my flesh, grabbing it with a bit more strengh now. I had to bite my bottom lip as he starts massaging them. Completly lost in thoughts, I realize too late what he was doing.
Suddenly he stands up and kisses my cheek "Thank you, doll.", before leaving the dorm and leaving me breathless in the middle of the room. As I slowly come back from the dizzy feeling inside my head I again, stretch over to get my top but gasp with shaky breathing as I see what Mattheo left on my skin.
A hickey. And a bite mark. I didn‘t even notice him biting my leg. Shit.
— Saturday —
To say i was pissed, while sitting on a chair in some corner of the common room, was a big understatement. Theodore and I arrived at the party he talked about a few days ago.. 2hours ago. I saw him drinking with his friends and playing truth or dare in a little group, always walking away from me as soon as I approached him. So I decided to stop chasing him.
"What are you doing here all alone sweetcheeks?" I look to my right and see Mattheo. Of course it was him. "Leave me alone." I say, rolling my eyes and looking back to my boyfriend, sitting beside this girl named Lydia. She was a year under us I think.
Mattheo followed my gaze and shakes his head. "Well , the deal was I would leave you alone till end of the week. The week is over." I don‘t even answer him, not in the mood to argue.
"Yeah thanks for the hickey and the mark between." i say sarcastically. "Yeah it‘s not like your boyfriend would see, right?"
I roll my eyes again and look back at Theodore, to see him standing up. What was he going to do? Suddenly I see him taking Lydia‘s hand, pulling her up with him and kissing her. In shock I opened my mouth, but instead of crying like i normally would, my face got red in anger.
I tried everything and here he stands sucking of the face of that stupid thot. In the middle of the common room? With the girl he "studys" all the time? I bet that’s not the first time they kiss. Mattheo seems to see it too and looks at me more serious now. "Hey.. are you okay? I mean he‘s not worth it If you - " but before he can continue I grab him at the collor of his shirt and drag him with me to his dorm.
— 30 minutes later —
"Oh fuck yes, Mattheo!" I moan into the air, pushing his head against me while his lips suck on my clit, his fingers pumping inside me. "Shit who would have known that you go this feral for my tounge huh?" he smiles and mumbles against my skin.
"Stop talking and continue!" I whine and push his head back. I hear him chuckle before he laps at my throbbing clit again. God If I would have known how good this feels I would have had ended things with Theo way sooner.
His free hand slides across my body up to my left boob where he started to tease my nipple. I gasp and push my hips up, arching my back. My body was so sensitive I wanted to cry out of pleasure everytime he touched me somewhere.
It didn‘t took me long before my body starts trembling and shaking, Mattheo licking everything up as I come on his tounge.
"I could get drunk on your pussy." he groans before kissing me, making me taste myself on his lips.
"I hope you‘re ready cause that pussy screams for me." he whispers against my lips before going down on me again.
A few minutes in I hear someone yell. "WHAT THE FUCK?"
My head shot up and I looked to the door where Theo stood, looking ag us with an angry face.
I saw Mattheo looking at him over his shoulder, smiling at him with glistening lips. "Hey men, hope you don‘t mind? We got the impression you were busy.. never mind – bro how could you not eat that pussy like.. all day?"
"I‘m gonna kill you, Riddle!"
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shorter than usual but I liked it 🌼
thanks for reading and supporting 🫶🏻
xoxo sarah <3
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sp0o0kylights · 15 hours
Text
There were a lot of things Mike hated in life.
The demogorgon, and how it had essentially destroyed his life.
 Brenner, and the madhouse laboratory El had survived. 
How each and every one of his friends now did something weird--were weird, because flashing lights or fireworks or some stupid tune a toy horse played dragged up memories that made their eyes flat and faces hollow. 
Most of all though, Mike hated how much they relied on Steve.
There was no reason he should be the person to call when it started pouring and no one wanted to bike home from AV. 
Steve wasn’t Nancy, or Jonathan, or a parent--he wasn’t even dating anyone related to any of the Party anymore so what excuse did he have to keep hanging around? 
(Even if Jonathan was always working, and Nancy was always busy with some club or homework, and everyone’s parents all seemed to be in a race of who could get back to normal the fastest…) 
They should at least try to get a hold of other people, instead of constantly going to Steve first.
“Why?” Dusitn had scoffed at him the last time this had happened, feeding quarters into a phone and staring at Mike like he was the one being unreasonable. “I’m not gonna waste money just to hear your sister tell us no again when we all know Steve will do it.” 
Which was perhaps the most infuriating part of it all.
That Steve would do it. 
Show up and help them, even if he bitched the whole time. 
Hell, Steve Harrington knew more about Mike’s life offhand than Nancy did, and that made him want to punch a wall more days than it didn’t. Why the hell was Steve so involved? 
It was stupid. 
Weird, even! They weren’t friends, (even if Dustin and Max and El of all people said the opposite) he wasn’t being paid to babysit, (Mike had double checked; going round to ask Ma Henderson and Mrs. Sinclair, only to get an earful of how wonderful Steve was from both.) he had no reason to hang around! 
It didn’t make sense that Steve could be harassed into picking them up from school. 
Would take them to get ice cream, or hand over extra quarters for the arcade. He even gave out advice like some kind of--brother that Mike had never wanted. 
Above all?
Mike hated that when he needed someone, the number he punched in on automatic was Steve’s.
“I need you to come get me.” He said into the receiver, mad at himself and the world, but mostly mad that beyond the normal amount of squawking Steve did, he shut up and came. 
Drove up in his rich boy car, stepping out and herding Mike into it like the rain hadn’t already seeped into his bones. 
“You wanna tell me why you snuck into a bar two towns over?” Steve asked, long after Mike had slung himself into the passenger seat, arms crossed defensively over his chest.
“No.” 
One of Steve’s hands went right to his hair, running through it before adjusting the mess he’d just made. 
It was a nervous habit, and Mike hated that he knew that too. 
“Okay, well.” Steve’s hand fell back to the steering wheel, clenching tight around it. “Next time you want to do something dumb could you at least come talk to me about it beforehand?”
“What the hell would that do?” Mike bitched, staring firmly out of the window. 
“Not waste my gas for starters.” Steve bitched right back. “But I dunno man, we could have taken some bats and gone and wailed on cars in the junkyard and talked or some shit, not--whatever this all was.”
‘This all’ was accompanied by a wave of his hand, indicating not just the bar Mike had been standing in front of, but his general sopping wet state. 
“You’d actually go to the junkyard with me?” Mike challenged, doubtful. 
Steve made a face. “Did you lose your hearing in there? I just said--.” 
“Why?” Mike interrupted. “Why the fuck would you come out with me?”
Matching his entire aggressive tone, Steve said; “Because it’s better than trying to sneak into the one local gay bar when you’re barely fourteen, Michael.” 
And that? 
Steve being oddly aware of shit he really shouldn’t have?
Mike hated that too. 
“You knew what the bar was?” He asked, his voice coming out much smaller than he intended. 
“Everyone knows what that bar is, except it’s more of a biker bar than a gay bar.” Steve shot back--which did actually explain about ten different questions Mike had about the place. “Also, language you little shit.” 
Under his breath, Steve continued in a muttered; “I swear I’m going to start carrying around soap.”
“You cuss more than we do.” Mike responded, and if his own voice was a little strangled as he fought back the sudden swell of tears, then that was between him and God. 
He was not crying in front of Steve Harrington, he outright refused. 
“The point I’m making is that there are way better bars to sneak into. That one’s not nearly as welcoming as people make it out to be, probably because they’re sick of all the rumors.” 
Steve seemed to realize what he was implying because he quickly added; “Not that you should be sneaking into any bars at all!” 
“You’re not my mom.” Mike’s voice turned wet as he lost his battle with his throat, voice cracking as he failed to choke the tears back.  
“No shit Wheeler.”  Steve said, and at least he was good enough not to call attention to Mike’s crying. 
If he had, Mike was pretty sure he’d just up and die of embarrassment, right there. 
“I don’t get why you care.” He muttered, angrily swiping at his eyes. 
“I didn’t keep you alive this long just so you could die of something stupid.” Steve countered easily.
Which was kinda fair, if you thought about it.
Mike very much did not want to think about it. 
Any of it.
Ever. 
“Are you gonna tell my parents?” He asked after a painfully long moment. 
Long enough that Steve had begun fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station as they drove back that wasn’t wailing country or gospel music. 
“I’m not a narc, so no.”  
“Not about the bar.”  
Now Steve just looked confused. 
Probably because he was, because he was without a doubt the stupidest almost adult Mike knew. 
(Not that he could say that out loud--last time he had, Max had made one of her pissy faces and then El got mad because Max was, which led to a break up, which led to Mike having to beg his way back into his girlfriend’s good graces while explaining that he hadn’t meant it like that.
“How did you mean it then?” Max demanded, and Mike wasn’t sure how he managed to dodge that entire conversation but he had, on grounds that untangling his own emotions regarding stupid Steve made him want to pull his hair out and scream.) 
“What about then?” 
 “You know. Don’t make me say it.” Mike absolutely didn’t plead, even if it did sort of, kind of, sound like pleading. 
Steve flicked his eyes away from the road to give one long, weird look at Mike. The same one he gave Dustin when he went off on a rant about Cerebro or Lucas when he started discussing the stats of different D&D weapons. 
Unlike those times, Steve’s face cleared. 
“Oh.” He said, blinking, and Mike could practically see the light bulb flash above his head.
Then; 
“Nah.” 
Mike waited.
And waited.
And kept waiting as Steve went back to searching through radio channels, as if that was the end of the conversation.
It couldn't be the end of this conversation.
Not when this was the part that was eating Mike alive.
He didn’t know if this was Steve repressing it on purpose or if this was what he had to look forward to for the rest of his life if he kept trying to figure his own head out, but either way, he knew he had a choice to make. 
To let the unspoken part of today die quietly. Go unsaid, and remain unsaid, for all eternity--or he could let it out. 
Shove the “gay” part of “gay bar” in Steve’s stupid, jock face. 
Make him acknowledge it, even if it got Mike kicked out of the car, and who cared if it did? 
Steve wasn’t the person who should have picked him up anyway. 
The anger climbed higher and higher in his chest, tears and rage combining until Mike spat it all out, furious. 
“You’re not going to ask if I’m gay?”  
Steve didn’t turn to face him, but Mike saw his eyebrow cocking anyway, given how he was currently glaring a hole in the side of the older teen’s head. 
“Do you want me to?” 
“No.” Mike bit out automatically. “Yes. I don’t know!” 
Steve’s hand found its way back into his hair. 
“Okay then.” Steve paused, clearly fishing for something to say. 
Gleefully, Mike watched him struggle. 
“Do you like guys?” He managed finally, looking like he was navigating a minefield more than just talking.
“I don’t know.” Mike stressed, sinking lower in his seat. “Why do you think I was at the bar? I was trying to figure it out!” 
“Honestly I assumed this was some sort of stupid dare--but!” Steve held up a finger, before Mike could interrupt, “But let’s--shit, hold on, I had a speech for this but I kinda wasn’t expecting to use it this soon. Um.”
“You have a speech for me being gay?”
“Not for you.” Steve rolled his eyes. “For--in general! It was an in general, just in case speech!” 
He rounded on Mike, for longer than the younger was comfortable with given Steve took his eyes off the road to do it. “Okay--you can like boobies, you can like, uh--not boobies, and that’s fine! It’s all totally fine!” 
“You are not making it sound like it’s fine.” Mike said, feeling like he’d been taken out by hearing Steve say the word “boobies.” 
Gross, gross, gross. 
“Well it is.” Steve said, in a tone that felt like he was two seconds from adding in a smarmy ‘so there!’ at the end. 
“But I’m dating El.” Mike whined, which really, was both the heart of the matter and the eye of the storm that had been growing in his head for months now. “I can’t be gay if I like her.” 
“Don’t you guys break up and get together like four times a week?”
“No, that's Max and Lucas, El and I are stable.” Mike scoffed. “Or we--we were stable.” 
Before he started to have thoughts about people that weren't his girlfriend. 
Or women.
“Stable for being in middle school, sure.” Steve snorted. “You don’t just have to like one or the other you know. You can like dudes and chicks at the same time.”
Which Mike did not know, on account of being fourteen. 
He did his absolute damndest not to show that realization, instead adding that to the list of reasons why he hated Steve Harrington too.
Steve shouldn't be the one teaching him about who you could like!
“The point is that who you end up loving isn’t a problem.” Steve finally looked back to the road. “Other people might be an issue, and those people we can punch in the face so long as the cops aren’t looking, which isn’t part of the speech so let’s not tell people I said that part, but whatever you do choose, there’s nothing wrong with you.” 
Steve’s voice went firm, as he apparently recalled his speech or something close enough to it because his next words sounded a little rehearsed. “You have people who are here for you, no matter what. Okay?” 
Oh God, Mike was crying again. 
He wanted to punch Steve in his stupid face.
Wanted to hold onto the fury he'd built inside himself. Thrash around, throw himself out of the car, get away from the emotions that felt too big for his chest to contain. 
Instead he felt it all break on Steve's acceptance. On word's he didn't know he needed to hear until they'd been spoken, and sniffed out a quiet; “Okay.” 
Steve of course had to take it too far by reaching over and patting his knee, which they both regretted judging by how quickly Steve took his hand back and the face Mike made at his hand--but it…
It was appreciated, even amongst all Mike's rage.
Steve was appreciated. 
Not that Mike would ever, on pain of death, tell him that. 
Neither said a word for a while, Steve finally landing on a radio that was playing some Top 40 hit, Tears for Fears singing about ruling the world while Mike found himself trying to rebuild his own once again, tired of it having shattered so many times over. 
At least he finally felt better, even if he refused to admit Steve was the reason for it. 
He wasn’t quite done though.
 There was a piece Steve had skipped over, that Mike felt was critically important, if only because it was partly the reason he was having thoughts about being gay in the first place. 
He had to know if Steve saw it too. 
That it wasn’t just him and his stupid head, making up things that weren’t there. 
“Hey Steve?” 
“Yeah?”
“Who was the speech for?” 
Steve sighed. 
“Rule one of the whole queer thing Wheeler, you don’t out other people.” 
Like there were written rules or something.
(Maybe there were, it wasn't like Mike knew.)
“Was it Will?” Mike asked, and pretended like he didn’t desperately want the answer to be yes. 
 Steve didn’t say a thing, but the fact he nearly took the car off the road was a pretty solid answer in itself. 
“We’re not playing guessing games about other people’s sexualites!” He yelped, hands gripping the steering wheel as Mike felt a wave of relief crash through him. 
Will was--maybe, possibly, also--queer too. 
Which didn’t make this any better but it--wasn’t the not preferred outcome, either. 
(It wasn’t just Mike struggling alone, trying to figure out if his best friend wanted to be more than that, if El was breaking up with him and more and more because she wanted to be less than a girlfriend, if things were changing and he would have no one--) 
“I’m not out here picking Will up from a gay bar dipshit, I’m picking you up, and this is your reminder that next time, you should just come talk to me!” Steve ranted. 
Mike snorted.
He absolutely hated Steve Harrington, but--
“Fine.” He said, talking so low he could barely be heard. “I will.”
--maybe Mike did have someone in his corner after all. 
Even if it was just Steve. 
xXx
Bonus: 
“Between you and me, that kid is gayer than a two dollar bill.” 
“Wow Robin,” Steve teased, “Isn’t that like, a slur or whatever?” 
He snickered when she rolled her eyes and threw a roll of stickers his way. 
“I’m just saying. Did you see the way he was looking at you when you were showing off your stupid biceps?” Robin said, nudging her shoulder into Steve’s. “Will’s gonna have a rude awakening later if he hasn’t already.” 
Steve nudged her back, but kept his gaze on the Party as they trooped their way from Family Video to the arcade next door, the realization that they now had connections for free rentals making them downright gleeful. 
Will was the last one in, and Steve watched him hurry so as to not be left behind. 
He didn’t like to worry about the dipshits, but Robin was just putting voice to a thought Steve knew he wasn’t the first person to have.
And if he noticed it, then it didn't exactly bode well as being kept a secret. 
“Should we like…talk to him about that?” He asked after a long moment, turning to face Robin.
“Us?” She pointed at herself, before turning her finger on Steve. “Why us?” 
“Well you’re into girls.” He gave her a pointed look, glad that the store was empty of everyone but them so he could actually voice all this. “And I’m fine with it.”
“Yeah I’m sure he wants to know you’re fine with it.” Robin taunted, but she had her thinking face on, eyes out to the middle distance. “I barely know him. You barely know him--he’s the quietest out of all your kids.”
“They’re not my kids.” Steve argued automatically. “They're like a weird cross between shitty siblings and that kid in your class who never leaves you alone.” 
A fact Steve no longer took for granted, even if he made it sound like the worst thing ever.
“I just think it’d be nice if he knew that he had people in his corner, you know? Who supported him and shit.” 
“Steve, you compared my crush to a muppet, that wasn’t supportive.” Robin countered, but it too was on automatic. 
Softer she admitted; “You’re right though. If I had known other queer people, if I had known people would accept me...it would have made things a lot easier.”
A very long pause, in which both of them stewed for a moment, before Robin abruptly slapped her hand down on the table.
“Okay, you got me. We're doing it, and I'm making us a speech.”
“A speech?” 
“Yes dingus, a speech. I know you, you’re terrible when you’re put on the spot with this kinda thing, and trust me with things like this the moment will be spontaneous.”
“It’s Will, how spontaneous can it be?” Steve challenged back. “Getting a dinner order out of him is a chore.” 
“Stop whining and hand me that notepad. Im telling you its gonna happen when you least expect it and then you're gonna thank me later.”
“It better not happen without you.”  Steve sighed, but passed the notepad over.
God the things he did for those stupid kids. 
Bonus x2
Steve would later go on to use the speech on himself, in a gas station bathroom mirror, eyes wide and freaked out after Eddie Munson called him Big Boy in a van they stole, while Robin snickered behind him. 
He would turn on her, snapping that she; “Help me with this dammit!” 
In return she’d remind him that Tammy might sing like a muppet but Eddie  was the guy who stepped on lunches while giving speeches at lunch and sticking his tongue out, and “Really Steve, I think I won best gay awakening, here.” 
Which would promptly start an argument regarding how it wasn’t a competition, which would continue for another fifteen or so odd years before finding its way as a reference into both of their speeches as each other’s best man. 
Nancy and Eddie wouldn’t get it at either wedding, but Mike would.
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xoxostarlet · 16 hours
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now playing: <high in denial> 00:00/45:00
starring: re4r/re2r!Leon x stoned bff!reader
tw: smut, nsfw, weed use, getting high, shotgunning, mutual masturbation, porn watching, probably inaccurate weed use descriptions (?), somno-ish, mdni, reader is 18+
playing next: <half sober, half confrontations> 00:00/50:00
minors DO NOT interact. read at your own risk. ageless blogs will be blocked.
☆ starlet's note: can be separated from part 2
++ my other wips are still in the works so here's a little treat off the wip list because i went on an insane 2k words tangent. also apologies in advance for how inaccurate this is. love you all mwacks 💋💋💋
his whole house was empty with Mr and Mrs Kennedy on vacation for a whole week. so naturally, he did what he always does, invite you over to hang out. as the assigned troublemaker friend between the two of you, you had managed to convince him to smoke weed with you for the third time that week.
he fished out the lighter from the ziploc bag of pre-rolled joints thanks to you and began to light it. you brought the joint between your finger closer to where he was holding the flame. you both watched as it lit, smoke drifting from it in pretty lilts.
and then something you saw from one of your friend’s instagram stories earlier that day popped into your mind. your eyes twinkled mischievously. tonight was gonna be fun.
"wanna do a shotgun?"
you ask him, quirking your brows. he tilts his head.
"shotgun? you mean like the smoke kiss thing?"
he asks looking confused at the prospect of your suggestion. why would you want to smoke kiss him? his eyebrows remained raised as he looked at you expectantly.
"well, the kiss is optional. i heard it makes you high quicker or something."
you say leaning closer, the now lit joint still held between your fingers. he looks at you for a moment as he mulls it over in his head. you knew he was mulling it over because he had that little scrunch between his brows and his jaw was a little taut. he made that face when you asked him to skip school, and when you begged him to not submit the homework which he had completed because you didn't, and well...that was the gist of it. you dragged him on your little misadventures all the time and he follows willingly.
like that other time you asked him to follow you to TP your bitchy neighbour's house after she ratted you out to your parents for having a party in the house when they were out. you had almost gotten away with it too. and in the end, both of you were grounded with your phones taken away for a solid month.
"i don't know. it sounds kinda...intimate?"
he says sounding hesitant. you missed the fact that his ears were turning a little red again.
"oh come on! don't be a prude."
you pouted, scooting closer to him and tugging on his sleeve.
"am not!"
he protested, ears turning redder. he often finds himself in these predicaments with you. but truth be told had you asked him to jump, he would. you were his best friend. he'd do anything if it's with you. which is also the logic that was making him sit in his bedroom with you, about to smoke weed together for the third time that month.
"fine. then prove it."
you smirked, your shiny cherry-scented gloss was practically tasteable from how close you were to his face. this shit had worked on him time and time again. he just couldn't believe that even when you were both about to graduate college in a few months, he would still fall for it every single time. must have been the cherry gloss. with its pretty shine and good smell. or maybe how good it made your lips look. he imagined what it would look like blowing smoke into his mouth.
"okay. fine. i'll do the 'shotgun' thing."
you pumped the air at his agreement, grinning from ear to ear. so you took your first puff and leaned in close. his eyes trailed from your eyes to the shine of your lips. you watched as his parted lips got clouded in the smoke as you blew into it. you were both so close. your lips were getting closer to his and your heart was racing out of your chest with how exhilarating it all felt. and so was his. he's got his eyes practically glued to your lips. this was the closest he'd ever seen them and he yearned to know what they would feel like pressed against his own.
a loud rustling sound of a plastic object falling to the floor sent the both of you springing away from each other as if seared by hot metal. you leaning in closer must have tipped the spare bag of blunts off of the bed. he was blinking and rubbing his flushed face while you coughed, avoiding his gaze. you could feel his eyes looking at you. so you did what you did best. damage control.
"porn! let's watch it while we're high! should be fun, ahaha..."
you felt yourself cringe as the notion of what you had just blurted into the room began metaphorically bouncing off the walls like an echo. except it was probably just the very vivid imagery in your head right now. the weed was kicking in. and as you expected, he agreed to do it with you.
so there you both sat, knee to knee on his bed. his laptop was shared between your laps and he was currently typing into the search engine of a porn website. a video of a woman with particularly huge tits and a massive rainbow-coloured dildo caught your attention.
"jesus, is that thing even gonna fit?"
Leon asked, face wrinkling. this made you laugh and so did he. the bout of giggles was made worse the more you scrolled down, complemented with commentary on how silly some of them looked.
"pfft- did you see that? no way that was not piss. i mean she was using just her hands and she squirted that far?"
you said in between peals of laughter, hand smacking his shoulder. he was laughing too. both of you were feeling pretty untethered by this point. 
"maybe she just felt that good? who knows?"
he says, making the both of you erupt into a fit of delirious laughter once more.
"aw man, that was hilarious."
well in hindsight, it wasn't that funny but you were both flushed, red-eyed, and giggly. the almost kiss was long forgotten by now. and so as the conversation flowed, the laptop joined the kiss in being long forgotten as well. you were now seated opposite him on his bed, socked feet against his knees as both your legs and his tangled comfortably. the conversation had veered from porn to whatever else that was under the sun before making a grand return.
"do you think those moans and stuff are all fake?"
he asks you, eyes half-lidded and red when he meets your gaze. you shrugged.
"dunno. maybe? or maybe it feels really good. some say, cumming feels better when you're high?"
you tell him but it sounded like you were wondering yourself.
"well, how do we find out for sure?"
he asks, and you feel like giggling again.
"i mean...we could...you know..."
you begin to say, stifling your immense need to laugh. both of your legs were sort of laced with his comfortably and the warmth felt nice.
"what...? ask people now?"
you shook your head, a glint of mischief flashing in your dilated pupils.
"no, dumbass. we do it now. we jerk off together."
he started laughing. hard.
"you're crazy...."
you frowned at this and tilted your head. your skin felt so warm and your head was in the clouds. and you felt insanely horny too. maybe it was all the porn from earlier that made jerking off with your best friend not sound like such a bad idea. 
"best friends jerk off together all the time, right? girl best friends, boy best friends, whatever. what makes us different?"
you ask him with full conviction. he blinked a few times as if still processing your question. you began to feel impatient at his lack of a response.
"oh come on! it'll be fun! weed's supposed to make it feel better yaknow.”
you persuaded, knocking your knees against his lightly. he shrugs.
"if you're sure."
he shrugs, falling victim to your persuasion for the fourth time that night alone. you grinned contagiously, and so did he. your fingers began travelling down to the buckle of your jeans and you zipped your fly down with a little struggle. Leon began unzipping his own too, eyes widening a little when he caught a glimpse of your cotton panties peeking through. he watched as you began to slide your fingers down your panties.
"wait. s'not fair."
he protested, brows furrowed. you frown and turn to look at him, feeling held back.
"what are you talking about?"
you ask him with a tinge of frustration.
"if i jerk off, you'll see my dick."
he says and you groan.
"duh! so what?"
you huffed, hair blowing away from your face.
"let me see you too."
he demanded in a voice that was a whole octave lower, gaze not wavering from yours. he was standing on business. it was only fair after all. so you lifted your leg from the position and stood up shakily from his bed, shimmying your pants and panties off. he did the same before you both returned to the same seating position. you sucked on your dry-feeling fingers and began lowering them towards your folds, teasing them a little. Leon watched you as he began to grip his dick in his hand and began pistoning it up and down.
the sensations as you began stroking yourself felt stronger than usual. you tried to stifle your moans a little, biting the back of your other hand as you stroked yourself. the little sounds you were letting out were making Leon impossibly harder as he stroked himself. he was letting out soft grunts and whimpers from how sensitive he was.
"ngh- feels s'good."
you whined softly eyes fixed on the way Leon was panting as he stroked his leaky cock, tip swollen and pink. you never knew how pretty your best friend's cock was. it was a pleasant finding. it also serves to further supplement the visual stimulation you need to continue jerking off.
the people were right. it felt so good. you were practically knuckled deep into your weeping pussy, crying out against the back of your free hands. your head was thrown back and your pussy was on full display. the sight alone made Leon’s cock throb as he stroked himself quicker, precum dribbling down his tip. the wet squelching sounds mingled in the air as you both began to pick up the pace.
"you sound so hot...fff- shit-"
Leon whimpered eyes squeezing shut and chest rising and falling rapidly.
"let's cum together..."
you managed through a half giggle half moan, keening forward a little as you continued to pump your fingers into your sopping wet hole. he was pressing his lips together, eyes squeezed shut.
"can't- last...!"
he struggled to say, clearly about to bust. but before he could, you used your free hand to wrap around his tip, palm pressing flat on it. he yelped, not expecting you to have touched his dick whatsoever. this was turning him on even more and his balls felt like they were about to combust.
"what are you-"
he whined in protest. your perfectly glossed cherry lips were parted as your climax neared. he was still stroking his dick, whimpering with the need to cum. as soon as you felt yourself clench around your fingers, you freed his tip and helped him stroke himself to completion with your free hand. he groaned, hips stuttering into your hand as he rode down his high. his cum was all over your hands and even your thighs and shirt. you slumped against the headboard of his bed, panting. both of you were flushed and the room felt warmer than ever.
"do best friends also jerk each other off-"
he asked as he finally came down from the cottony post-orgasm state of mind having caught his breath. everything felt so muddled and sticky. he grabbed tissues off of his nightstand and began wiping his cum off your thighs sloppily. he then took your hand in his larger one and began wiping away at it as well. you watched as he did it, feeling mesmerized.
"yeah for sure."
you answered absentmindedly. and as always, he takes your word for it. 100% without a shadow of a doubt. best friends almost kiss when doing weed shotguns. and they help to jerk the other off just so they could cum at the same time. by then your brain was practically mush. all you wanted to do was take a nap. so you carelessly threw his soiled covers (courtesy of you and him jizzing all over it) over your legs and mindlessly patted the space next to you.
he laid next to you beneath his covers with a loopy smile on his face. your bare ass was practically pressed against his softened dick as he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you close.
these were definitely normal best friend activities when they hangout. 
so imagine your surprise when you woke up the next day to soft whimpers against the shell of your ear as he rutted his half hard dick against your bare ass.
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cameronspecial · 15 hours
Text
Mistakes That Can Be Undone
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: N/A
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 1.4K
Summary: After finding an invitation that throws his whole world off balance, Rafe has a plan to get back the love of his life.
A/N: Inspired by "Something Blue" by Voilà.
Masterlist
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When Rafe finds the invitation, his world becomes submerged in water, already causing him to feel dizzy. ‘You are invited to join Y/N Y/L/N and Hudson Jones to celebrate their wedding’ makes him forget what he is getting from Topper’s room in the first place. Of course, Topper got an invitation. He isn’t only Rafe’s friend but hers. The black-and-white extravagance of the invitation is not her choice. He knows for a fact she has always dreamed of a smaller wedding. Just their immediate family and closest friends attend the most important day of their life. 
———
Her head rested on his stomach as she scrolled through Instagram. A particular post caused her thumb to hesitate to swipe up. She angled her phone toward him, “Remember, Mrs. Thompson? She got remarried.” His eyes darted toward her screen to see a picture of their third-grade teacher in a wedding dress. “You follow her on Instagram?” he questioned. She shrugged, “I follow her daughter. She was always nice to me.” “Yeah, I remember Monica. She was hot,” he thought out loud, which caused Y/N to hit him with the back of her hand. “Don’t worry. She can never be as beautiful as you. Have you ever thought of what you would want for your wedding?“ She said, “Small wedding, extravagant marriage.” He chuckled, looking down at her with a loving smile. “Aren’t those the same thing?” Her head shook, “No. A wedding, for me, is a party to celebrate the union. A marriage is a lifelong commitment.” His arm wrapped around his waist. “That made no sense, but I will do whatever you want,” he whispered with his lips pressed against her temple. 
———
“Dude, what’s taking you so long?” Topper’s voice pulls Rafe out of his memories. Rafe blinks back the tears and places the invitation back onto the desk. He and Y/N broke up five years ago, yet a small part of him always thought they would find their way back to her. She is the love of his life and all because of one small mistake he made, he never gets to be her lifelong love again. It feels like some mistakes aren’t meant to be fixed. He picks up the second PS5 controller from the dresser and leaves the room with a newfound emptiness. 
———
He knows he shouldn’t be here. It is definitely not his place to be sneaking around the church to look for her. Yet another thing that is wrong with this scene. Y/N loves the beach and it was one of the reasons why she decided to do her graduate degree in Australia. He catches a glimpse of white lace stepping into a room and the door closes after the bridesmaid and mothers of the couple leave the room. He overhears a bridesmaid saying that Y/N needed a moment to herself. His grin struggles to break through his stoic expression. 
The tap on the door causes her to spin toward the sound. She takes a deep breath, already struggling to keep her tears in check so she doesn’t ruin her makeup. “I-I really need a moment to myself, please,” she croaks out. She wants to groan when the person behind the door ignores her pleas and enters anyway. Even though it isn’t her preferred wedding look, she still looks beautiful in the vintage lace wedding dress. The long flowy sleeves make her look like a goddess. The lace reaches up to her collarbone and it is a little too high for his liking. Their eyes meet and he gives her a small smile, “I know you need a second; however, I don’t know if I’ll still have the courage to do this after one.” Her heart stops at not only the sight of him but also the scent of him. Even after all these years, the leathery smell of his cologne makes her feel at home. “What are you doing here?” she questions, fighting the urgent to step forward. He does it for them, “He is the something new, so I’m here to be your something old.” She giggles with a shake of her head. “I think that tradition was referencing objects, not humans,” she advises. “Seriously, though, what are you doing here, Rafe?” His hand falls to the back of his neck. “Do you really want to marry him?” he asks, eyes falling to his shoes. 
“Of… of course, why wouldn’t I? I love Hudson.”
“You don’t sound very sure about that, Honey. Do you think maybe you are getting cold feet?”
“You don’t get to ask me that, not when we haven’t spoken to each other in years.”
Her downcast eyes tell him he is right. He risks taking a step further, reaching out to rest his hand above her elbow. The warmth of his hand has her wanting to melt against it. “You aren’t upset about us not talking, not really. Ask me what you want to ask,” he whispers with his lips touching the shell of her ear. She leans back to look him in the eyes, “Why didn’t you want to leave with me? Why be here now when you were the one to end us because you didn’t want to move to Australia with me?” He brings his palm up to rest on her cheek and gives her a meek smile. Tears begin to well over the edge of his eyes as he thinks about how he is the reason why she is getting ready to walk down the aisle to someone else. “I was an idiot. I was young and thought I needed my father’s approval more than I needed love. And I am so so sorry that I made that decision, which hurt you, Honey. But I promise you if you give me another chance, then I won’t be stupid enough to let you go again,” he vows, his thumb kissing her cheekbone. A deep breath falls out of her mouth, “I can’t, I’m supposed to get married today.” Nails dig into his heart, slowly tearing it apart to leave him for dead until a glint coming from just below her collarbone catches his attention.
He grasps drops to the oval locket hanging on a chain from her neck. Engraved flowers surrounded both of their initials at the front and he props it open to see his favourite picture of them still safe inside. Since they broke up, he thought she would’ve gotten rid of the necklace he gave her on their first anniversary. The symbol that he is serious about their relationship and has left behind his player ways. His gaze burns a hole into his gift to her, “How can I take your words seriously when the symbol of my love is around your neck on the day you are meant to marry the supposed love of your life? Tell me something, Honey, does he know his skin is pressing against a gift from me while he makes love to you?” 
Her eyes widen at his realization and silence falls in the room. He can see her thoughts spin around in her brain. “Is it cold in here?” she whispered, causing Rafe’s head to tilt till a smile craved itself on her face. “I think I need to go warm up in your Benz.” She laces her fingers through his and picks up the bottom of her dress. They both dash out of the room, running in the direction of the car. He tries to be as quiet as possible, except her giggles make their location known. Staff members’ heads follow the couple’s movement as they run down the hallway. Once the breeze from the wind hits their face, he unlocks the door to his vintage blue Benz that he got because she loved how the colour matched his eyes. He jumps over the driver’s side door and leans over to open the passenger’s door for her. Her laughter causes his heart to flutter. As soon as she is safely buckled into her seat, he quickly pulls out of the parking spot. Rafe can’t stop himself from smirking after spotting who he assumes is Hudson, jogging out of the church with an exasperated and confused look on his face. Y/N yells over her shoulder, “I’m so sorry, Hudson. I’ll explain everything later.” 
They drive until the church is out of sight. He chances a glance at her whilst he stops at a red light. The massive grin on her face causes flowers to bloom in his heart. She looks at him and places her hand over the gear shift so he can lace his fingers with hers. He brings her knuckles to her lips. “I’m not growing old with him,” she states. He can’t help but beam himself, “Good because I’m the only one who gets to be your something old and new.”
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura
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sansaorgana · 3 days
Note
Hello love! I simply adore your writing and I was wondering if I could get a Gale Cleven x reader who's dealing with infertility? Probably something angsty? If not, that's totally fine. I'm just having a bit of a rough day :/
hi, sweetheart! 🥺 I'm sorry that you're having a rough day... I am trying to write these stories chronologically but I decided to write this one today so you don't have to wait too long 😊 btw I know that we treat Buck as a fictional character here but as far as I am concerned, real Buck Cleven never had children – at least I've never seen them mentioned anywhere like Bucky's daughters or Crosby's kids 🤔
my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗
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You didn’t want to go there at all but you knew that you should leave the house finally for your own mental health. Buck was looking worried about you, too, and you wanted to show him that you were slowly getting better after your last miscarriage. But the truth was that some part of you was dying with each one of them.
For the first time it had been sad but not devastating yet – it was common to happen after all. Second time had started to make you worry. Third and fourth had only been a confirmation of your fear – you wouldn’t give your husband a child and you wouldn’t become a mother unless someone comes up with a magical cure.
Your best friend Eva was the only person who had known about it and she was as worried as Buck was. When one of your and Eva’s friends, Nancy, had decided to throw a tea party, Eva insisted on taking you there. So you dressed up and let her take you in her car as Buck watched from the window with a faint smile.
Eva was an independent woman. After her husband’s death in the war she decided not to marry again. She got her own car and managed most things on her own. She was a wild and free spirit and she never wanted to have children so as much as you appreciated her effort to help you – you knew that she would never fully understand your struggle.
The tea party took place at Nancy’s house. There were a few other women and you all sat by the table and sipped on the warm beverage from the china set Nancy had gotten for her wedding. She looked excited and her eyes were sparkling all the time as she was smiling widely. Eventually, you found out the reason behind that.
“So, I wanted you all to come here because… Because I have something to tell you, girls,” she giggled and all the women looked at her, curiously.
You felt a knot forming in your stomach. You already felt what it was.
“I’m pregnant!” She announced and everyone cheered. You did too, forcing a smile. Eva’s hand found yours under the table and squeezed yours to show you a silent support.
You felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes. You got angry at Eva for convincing you to come here but it wasn’t her fault after all, she couldn’t know… You looked around and realised that all other women in the room had children already or were pregnant. Except for you and Eva but she didn’t count since she didn’t want to become a mother anyway.
But the worst hadn’t happened yet.
“Now it’s (Y/N)’s turn,” Nancy smiled at you and you put the cup down with a shaky hand.
“Stop pushing her,” Eva reacted immediately.
“Don’t be like this, Eva. You hope she will never be a mother so you won’t be alone in this,” Nancy’s sister, Hannah, snapped at her.
“We don’t really think about having children, Buck and I,” you smiled nervously and the women looked at each other.
“My husband didn’t want them either but I convinced him,” Janis grinned at you, thinking that her words were in any way helpful.
“We just don’t…” you started and your voice broke. Eva jumped in the conversation quickly.
“Stop pushing her!” She insisted angrily.
“I’m only saying, he can wait but she cannot,” Nancy shrugged her arms.
You didn’t want to make a scene and leave after that so you only pretended to be more interested with the piece of cake on your plate although swallowing it was extremely difficult with a gulp in your throat. You waited about half an hour before nodding at Eva discreetly.
“It’s time for us,” she stood up and grabbed her purse. “I promised Buck to take her back home by eight.”
“These officers, they are all about discipline,” you chuckled while excusing yourself and picked your purse up as well. “Can’t have my Major waiting too long.”
You left the house as fast as possible and waited for Eva by her car.
“I’m sorry, darling,” she told you when she finally joined you. “I had no idea.”
“Let’s not… Let’s not talk about it, alright?” You sniffed back the tears and she nodded, furrowing her eyebrows at you but respecting your wish to stay silent.
In fact, you both remained silent for the whole ride home and she only kissed your cheek when she parked by your lawn and you jumped out of the car to go back inside and hide from the world.
Buck was in the living room, crouching down next to the TV set with a screwdriver in his hand as he worked on some adjustments. You smiled through the tears and leaned on the wall, shyly.
“You’re back already?” He mumbled without looking up.
“Yeah, it was no fun,” you answered. “What are you on about again, Buck?”
“The signal keeps being bad, I can fix that, I think,” he explained.
“Just don’t hurt yourself and, most importantly, don’t break the TV,” you sighed, trying to be in a playful and teasing mood but it was difficult, especially while seeing him – the man you loved… whom you couldn’t give a child.
You burst into tears all of sudden and Buck looked up, worryingly.
“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” He put the screwdriver down and approached you as quickly as possible to put his hands on your shoulders.
“Nancy… She… She’s pregnant,” you told him and he sighed before pulling you closer and pressing your face to his chest.
“I’m sorry, darling…” He rubbed your back, not knowing what to say.
“And she asked about us not having a baby of our own…” You tugged on his shirt.
“That is none of that woman’s business why we don’t have a baby of our own,” you heard Buck’s voice getting more stern and angry.
“I know… I told her we don’t want babies… I didn’t know what else to say…” You explained.
“It’s alright,” he shushed you and kissed the top of your head.
“No, it’s not…” You looked up with your wet eyes and makeup running down your face. You could see the pain on his face from witnessing you this way and you hated to bring him sadness, too, but you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “She said you have time but I am running out of it.”
Buck’s jaw clenched at the words. He hated when anyone was hurting you either with words or actions – no matter if it was a man or woman.
“Nancy’s never been a bright girl, you know that, baby?” He cupped your wet cheeks and leaned in closer to your face. You nodded, unsurely. “Girls like her only care about keeping a husband at home and showing off in town.”
“But I care about keeping a husband, too,” you gasped.
Buck sighed and shook his head, looking for the right words.
“Come here, baby,” he lowered his hands to hold yours as he led you on the sofa and sat you on his lap. You threw your arms around his neck and he pulled you closer by your hip and thigh. “How many times do I have to tell you, sweetheart, that you’re all I want? Only you,” he pecked your lips softly. “You make me the happiest already. Having a baby with you would be only an addition, it’s already perfect the way it is. If we have a baby, I’ll be happy. But if we don’t, I’ll be just as much satisfied,” he explained to you. “And I won’t let anyone say bad things about my beautiful and wonderful wife.”
“Buck…” Your lower lips trembled. “It brings me comfort to know you don’t really care about it but…”
“It’s not that I don’t care. Don’t say that,” he interrupted you. “I care.”
“I know, I’m sorry… But I want this baby. I want to have a baby with you more than anything in the world. I am glad you’ll be as happy without it but I don’t think I will be…” You looked down, ashamed of your confession.
Buck stayed silent for a while, caressing you and keeping you close as he rested his chin on your head and sighed.
“I know, my sweet girl, you just want a baby to love and take care of, right?”
“Yes…” You nodded. “And… And I hate how jealous I get when I see other women with babies or being pregnant. It brings the worst out of me and I don’t like this version of me.”
“Shh, hey, love, there are lots of babies out there who want a mummy to love them and take care of them just as much, you know?” He asked in a soft whisper and you looked up at him.
“What are you suggesting? That we should adopt?” You raised an eyebrow at him.
“Only if you want to,” he nodded and raised his hand to caress your head gently. “I want you to be happy, darling. That’s all I want, nothing else. I hate to see you so sad all the time,” he confessed and smiled sadly.
“It would be lovely to adopt a baby but I’m scared it won’t be the same… Because I want to have your baby, Gale… Ours,” you fixed yourself.
“You know that I’d do everything to make your dream come true, I really would. But some things… They’re just impossible to happen sometimes, you know that, baby?” Buck kissed your forehead. “We can keep trying and trying but it kills me to see you getting even sadder each time it happens.”
You only hummed to yourself and squeezed him tighter. A decision to adopt a baby couldn’t be made in the heat of the moment, you had to think about it more thoroughly. But your husband had a point. You also hated to make him worried so much about you and the fact that he himself would be as happy without having a child with you was bringing you lots of comfort. It would be way worse if he wanted this baby more than anything else.
“I have to heal after the recent loss first,” you whispered to him after a while, “and then we’ll talk about it again, how about that?”
“Sounds about right,” Buck caressed your cheeks with his thumbs and leaned in to place a soft kiss on your lips.
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skelliko · 16 hours
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★-Tokyo revengers
๑-context: a summer activitie with them
๑-featuring: kazutora, chifuyu, Baji, Mikey, inui, shinichiro, Kokonoi, Rindou, ran, mitsuya,
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°- kazutora hanemiya
• exploring abandoned places and going so far out into the city, climbing over fences just to get into the buildings and running from the police or other pedestrians that had caught you trespassing in someone else's property even though it's not like you both are doing anything harmful there. your just enjoying each others company whilst getting excitement in exploring new places that may be even a little dangerous but what's a little fun if you don't 'ball it'
°- chifuyu matsuno
• making hand made jewelry is a cute activity, you had to teach chifuyu how to tie the string right otherwise it'd come loose but after he got the jist of it y'all were making many sets of matching bracelets that you wear all the time in different colours and patterns. though sometimes it gets frustrating when it comes to tying the string and you can't seem to get the loop right or when your fingers accidentally let go of one side of the string and then all the beads fall downwards and both of you end up crawling on the floor trying to recollect every lose bead, but that doesn't happen often.
°- Baji Keisuke
• forest walks, not all the time but sometimes he'd suggest wandering around a forest, picking up weird shaped branches to show you, finding a bug on a leaf and if you don't like bugs then he'd be a nuisance about it and chase you around with the it. but if you have a heart with bugs then hed look around trying to find the coolest looking one specifically to show/give you and he'd dedicate to it even if he does occasionally get a little grossed out by them.
°- manjiro sano/ mikey
• constant motorbike rides! if you have your own motorbike then the both of you will be riding till you reach the end of earth and seeing which one can out do the other. but if you don't then you'd be latched on at the back of his bike and going with the flow of the wind to cool off from the heat. mikey would also try teaching you how to ride a motorbike, he's more patient with you than anyone else so you can take your time with taking in the information so that you know how to switch gears and dont attempt in going through a wall.
°- Inui seishu / shinichiro sano (I couldn't decide)
• due to him being in the bike shop and working on fixing some motorbikes here and there, there'd be trips to visit him holding a sweet, cold treat to give him on his lunch breaks. though when you're teasing him a little too much he'd purposely smear his oil grease stained fingers across your skin to leave a large, black mark and it'd cause a small fit of smiles and laughter but also some small annoyance on your side as you have to scrub the mark off from you by the sink.
°- Kokonoi hajime
• perfect time and weather to go visit new towns and enjoy the beautiful scenery that neither of you thought you could see until now. browsing into small business shops that you haven't seen/been into before and if something catches your eyes that you'd die for to have then Koko would buy it for you in a heartbeat because seeing you smile with light in your eyes at an item makes him want to keep you in that gleaming mood.
°- rindou haitani
• spontaneous night outs where you start the night to be all cozy watching a series with a tub of ice cream to then be all dressed up and sparkly after one text or phone call from rindou mentioning a club is doing a certain theme. the both of you may seem to be there for the party but actually it's the attention you both bring, getting all dressed up is the fun part and most of the time you do it together and have matching outfits or accessories, give everyone around a sight to see and only then do you give your all with the drinks and dancing.
°- ran haitani
• constant need to be in the pool or anywhere that has water, especially on hot boiling days when a 5 minute walk would feel like 5 hours. in the day you'd usually go to an outside pool and enjoy yourselves and then at night you'd have to pamper him since he's still affected from the heat, he has no tolerance. you tend to go to public ones but only those that you know are clean and have decency of others, essentially public pools that kids don't go to.
°- mitsuya takashi
• summer is the perfect time for him to work on summer clothes and you always happen to be his muse meaning you're the one who he always dots down your measurements and your always the one that tries the clothes on and half the time you tend to keep the clothing. if you wear dresses then sun dresses are always something that he enjoys sowing for you, you spinning around as the dress flows and spins with you, he doesn't make those basic ones but rather he puts in a lot of detail just for you, making it adorable and flattering. but if you don't wear dresses or such clothing then he always considers what kind of material he uses, that way for the hot days your not melting and instead you feel more free and feel a breeze.
 ♡----
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skaye44 · 2 days
Text
Masquerade - Part 1
Avengers Bucky
Summary: Tony hosts a masquerade party where he invites everyone to attend. You have a massive crush on Bucky but he doesn't know you exist. Will you finally be able to approach him wearing a mask?
Content warning: mild language, nervous/shy reader, fluff
Part 1/3
Read Part 2 here
Read Part 3 here (part 3 to be posted Mar 28)
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Photos found here, here, here, and here
"How bad a shape is it in this time?" you called from your office. 
Your partner, agent Annie Carson stood at your office doorway and cringed. 
"Not that bad...not great...but not bad" she said as you got up from your desk with your tablet in hand.
You were a level B1 senior weapons specialist with SHIELD and oversaw the re-stocking the Quin Jets with the weapons the Avengers use on their missions. You have an endless supply of Stark tech, guns, grenades, ammo, and knives at your disposal, and you always are the first to know if there were any knew weapons that need to be added into the supply. You worked closely with the lab techs and the research and development (R & D) team making sure that if there was anything new the Avengers wanted or needed, it would fit in the jets, be easily transported, and readily available. 
You also have your hand in designing and developing some new knives and hand-held weapons you know the Avengers use since those are the ones you have to re-stock the most of. You and Annie stood inside the recently used jet and watched as the gear was being unloaded.
"At least it was Sam and Clint this time" Annie said to you, and you hummed in response.
You got to know how each of the Avengers used their weapons and how they treated things over the last year you had been in your position. Sam and Clint were generally very organized, clean, and used the basic weapons and of course the wings and arrows. Steve was also good since the only thing you usually had to do was polish his shield and have it ready in the jet he was using. The man didn't use guns or any other kind of tech gear, just his hands and shield when on missions making him the easiest out of everyone. 
You cringed when you had to re-stock the jet after Nat and Bucky since they would leave the jet practically empty after one of their missions. They were the worst. You knew if they were on a mission and you and Annie were the ones to re-stock the ammo, it would be a full day of work since both loved their guns and knives so much.
Speaking of Bucky, the man made your heart flutter and the butterflies in your stomach come to life every time you saw him. With his ocean blue eyes, large strong frame, long dark hair, he made you weak in the knees. You would have conversations with him, laugh, and smile at his jokes, he would stop by your office and bring you coffee and ask you about your day while brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face, only for you to snap out of it since those conversations only occurred IN YOUR HEAD since the man didn't even know you existed.
You would occasionally see Bucky walking in and out of the hangar before and after missions since your office was in the corner of the main hangar, but he had no idea you were even there. Both you and Annie worked in stealth mode. You would get the jets re-stocked usually in the evenings or overnight, like re-filling weapon ninjas. You're pretty sure the Avengers don't even know you exist, and you like to keep it like that. You would never think in a million years that Bucky Barnes would be interested in you. He was so handsome, and you, well, you were just you.
You would watch the other agents, both male and female, fall all over him and make a fuss if he was around. They would flirt with him, and he would smile and flirt a little back. You weren't like that at all. You were quiet and kept to yourself mostly and were never one to flirt since you didn't really know how. The only reason Annie was your close friend was because you work together every day and you kind of have to talk to her to do your job. If it wasn't for your job, you'd be a hermit so that alone makes you think you would never have a chance with the super soldier.
You're socially awkward and a little shy when it comes to being in large groups of people and meeting anyone new. You prefer to stay with what you know, and don't really like to take risks, which suits you just fine. You have Annie, your cat Winnie, your weapons, and that was all you needed. Well, that and your silly daydreams about the ridiculously good-looking brown hair-blue eyed super soldier with his strong back, thick arms, and broad chest. Damn your wandering mind.
🎭
It was fall and you were going over your weapons inventory in the massive storage unit that was adjacent to the hangar. You and Annie were finishing up for the day when you got a notification on your tablet about a mandatory meeting that all 'B' and 'B1' level agents need to attend. 
"What could it be about?" asked Annie as you were both walking to the large hangar. 
"No idea" you said as you made it to the hangar to see Tony and Steve standing in front of the agents. 
You sneakily looked around to see if there was any other Avenger lurking in the crowd, but didn't see, so you listened in.
"Ok everyone, listen up. It's Halloween soon and since there aren't any active missions coming up, we've decided to throw a massive party" Tony announced to everyone. 
All the agents looked around and were smiling brightly, chatting quietly with the people around them while you were cringing slightly. 
"This could be fun" Annie whispered, and you nodded lightly. 
"You've all been working hard for us over the past few months, and I feel like we need to celebrate. Capsicle will finish up" Tony said as he was walking away. 
"It's mandatory!" Tony yelled over his shoulder, and you shuddered at him. 
Steve took over the impromptu meeting while Tony left. 
"Check your emails tomorrow as Tony will send out the details. It's going to be at a ballroom at the Windsor Hotel, not far from here. I expect all of you to come since all of us will be there too." Steve turned around and left.
"Did you hear that? ALL OF THEM will be there" Annie nudged your arm, making you cringe. 
You both walked back to your office, and you plunked yourself down at your desk as Annie sat across from you at hers. Annie knows about your massive crush on Bucky since she walked in on you smiling like a weirdo at him from afar while he was boarding the jet for one of his missions a year ago. She said you reminded her of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi-truck, but with heart eyes and a red sweaty face. 
You were embarrassed you were caught staring and tried to sluff it off, but it was no use. She knew you so well it was no use in hiding your feelings, so you confessed to her about your crush and BEGGED her not to say anything to anyone about it since you know how to hide a body well from your earlier agent training.
"You going?" she asked as she took a sip of her now cold coffee. 
"I don't think so..." 
"It's mandatory" Annie chuckled lightly. 
"Doesn't mean I HAVE to go" you pouted. 
"That's kind of what mandatory means Y/n". 
You scowled at her. 
"I don't want to seem desperate" you shrugged your shoulders. 
"We're not being desperate if we go to a mandatory party" Annie corrected. 
"We're basically the only two single women in our job. Going to this may make us seem desperate" you reminded her.
"Oh, come on Y/n, it'll be fun. When was the last time you went to a party? Get out and live a little!" she sassed. 
"I get out and live" you replied, and she rolled her eyes at you. 
"Going home to your cat and reading books isn't exactly living and causing any of the men to break down your door" she joked, and you shook your head at her and scowled in thought. 
"Come on, have some fun! This party seems like it'll be a good time. Can you at least come with me as my date? Just two friends going to a work party, what can go wrong? Besides, Bucky will be there so you can gaze at him from afar" she winked at you, and you put your head down on your desk with a loud thud and groaned.
🎭
"Oh my god Y/n, did you see the email?"
You heard Annie yell as she ran into your office. 
"I'm looking at it now."
You pulled up the invite. 
"It's a masquerade party!" she sighed and flopped down in her chair, letting out a contented breath. 
"Why are you swooning?"
"Because, we get to wear beautiful gowns and masks, dance the night away, and no one will know who we are. It's romantic if you think about it" she said sitting up looking at you. 
Usually everyone around you referred to you and Annie as the weapons nerds and stayed far away from both of you. You weren't sure if they were scared of the fact that you had access to ALL the weapons, or if they stayed away from you because they thought you were both giant nerds, either way, most agents avoided you.
You never thought the party would be romantic, but rather a chore. You hated wearing dresses and dressing up for anything. You did it on occasion, like once a year at Christmas or the odd funeral or wedding but prefer your leggings and hoodies over everything else. 
"Don't be such a stick in the mud. You're coming with me whether you like it or not."
She picked up her phone. 
"Yes mom. What are you doing?" you asked. 
"Making us a hair and makeup appointment. I want to treat ourselves to some pampering" she said as she began speaking with someone on the other end of the line. 
"Ugh...." You groaned and closed the email. 
"Fine" you said as she got off the phone. 
"Great, now, we need to go shopping for a dress and mask!" Annie said as another used Quin Jet rolled into the hangar for the two of you to re-stock.
🎭
A few days later, you were sitting at the end of your bed, eyeing up the dress you bought for the party. You found it in the last store you and Annie had visited. You tried on the dress and as soon as you put it on, you knew it would be the one. Typical you scoffed as you ran your hand over the fabric thinking of the memory. 
The dress was long and all black that had a slight v-neckline to it. It had ¾ length sheer lace sleeves and a slit up the left side of the dress. Your leg would show every time you walked or even slightly moved, making you feel a little apprehensive because the slit was quite high but figured there wouldn't be any gusts of wind to contend with and the material would cover things enough. The fabric was a combination of chiffon and lace making it light weight and surprisingly comfortable. Annie chose your shoes, and you weren't sure whether to stab her or thank her. They were black high heels, strappy, and made you feel quite powerful in them, but were a nightmare to walk in. 
"Beauty is pain" Annie said as she shoved the shoe box in your hands and marched you up to the counter to pay.
You met Annie at the hair salon she had your appointments at, and you sat there for four hours getting ready. The stylist did your hair in long waves, putting the front half of it up and out of your face. You wanted to wear your hair mostly down seeing as how it was in the fall, you didn't feel like wearing an updo as you felt those were more of a summer thing. 
The makeup stylist did your makeup dramatically for the event by doing a smoky eyeshadow, dark eyebrows, and putting on some fake eyelashes to emphasize your eyes because of the mask. You weren't one for fake eyelashes, but they assured you they would look as natural as possible, but with some fullness to them. You didn't want to feel like you had crunchy spiders sitting on your eyes all night like in the past, but these felt light and comfortable.
You made sure the mask you chose was a basic plain one. You hated fake feathers (and birds in general), so you opted for a plain black mask to compliment your dress. It did have some silver embellishments on the outside of the mask that sparked in the light, but you figured having a little sparkle around the eyes would be a good thing. 
The makeup artist finished by placing the mask over your eyes and attaching it to your head and hair, making sure it would stay in place for the evening. You thanked both the stylists as you and Annie left the salon with a promise to meet up in the hotel lobby before heading into the party.
You got home and your cat Winnie seemed startled at your mask and hid under your couch, so you left her alone to finish getting ready. You wrestled with the dress and were impressed you managed to zip it up on your own while you stood in front of your floor length mirror and smoothed it over your hips while you turned from side to side inspecting it. 
"Not too bad Y/n" you mumbled out loud as Winnie cautiously made her way into the room so she could silently judge you from her perch. 
You patted her on the head, careful not to get any of her fur on your black dress, then you put your shoes on. You practiced in them around your apartment for a few weeks so your feet would be used to them, but you still felt like a newborn baby calf every so often. You did one last glance in your mirror and felt you were ready. You called a ride and left for the party. 
"Here goes nothing" you said out loud while the driver whisked you away to the hotel.
💃🎉🎭
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xorafe · 2 days
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I need a second part of the story for cam girl. Is she going to marry Rafe? Is ward going to like her? Is she going to have kids with him. I NEEED TO KNOWWWWW!!!!!!!
EEE i have a few requests for an epilogue on cam girl and i’m hoping to do it as a proper blurb or chapter when inspiration strikes to revisit the series 🥰 BUT my off the cuff thoughts on how their story continues are below the cut just because my reply got long hehe
i see them being together forever!!! rafe goes to her college graduation and is SO proud of her 🥺 and she wins over his family very quickly after they get through the shock of being like… wait, the maid? how tf did this happen? but of course the way she and rafe started seeing each other is a secret they keep between themselves forever hehe they tell everyone they just got to talking at the house one day 🤭
when he starts bringing her around at parties and his friends find out who she is, they’re confused as fuck that RAFE is (a) so head over heels, and (b) with a girl who’s so clearly not a kook, but they don’t dare say a word esp after he kicked his friend’s ass for talking abt her so disrespectfully. as far as rafe is concerned, she’s untouchable. he does everything to make sure she never gets hurt again (which is, obviously impossible, but rafe doesn’t like to admit that)…
and i like to think she playfully calls him figure8 whenever he buys her something just to remind him of how down BAD he always has been for her. she also brings up the fact that he begged on his knees to be with her as much as she can… he lets her fuck with him because he loves her more than anything in the world 😌
it takes a while for her to get used to living in a big place once they move in together. she jokes that they can’t hire any maids because rafe has a thing for them and he can’t even joke along 🥺 he says he has a thing for only one woman and she’s all he’ll ever want
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grimm-writings · 1 day
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Hi there!
I'd like to request something for the Laios party x reader where reader licks rocks like how archaeologists sometimes do to determine if it's a rock or a fossil. They just won't stop licking stuff. One moment you are just having a chat and walking side by side and the next reader grabs a rock and licks it. How would they react to their crush licking things that are certainly not food?
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“stop licking the damn thing!”
…ft! touden party x gn! reader, platonic izutsumi & reader
…tags! fluff, some crack, headcanon format, grimm doesn't know shit about rocks
…wc! 342 ; 400 ; 405 ; 344 ; 303 = 1794
…notes! this ask enraptured me i had to complete it posthaste. i’m not an expert in archeology or geology, but i hope you enjoy! 
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Laios
“Ooh, can I have a lick?”
His ass does NOT give a fuck.
You could do anything and he wouldn’t be fazed I’m dead serious.
Honestly, once you do it in front of him he’d steer the conversation towards your study and how you figure out each time what is a rock and what is a fossil.
He may not fully take in all the information you give him.  This isn’t a topic he’s admittedly too interested in.
Honestly he’d probably take up some of your advice and see if he tastes monster he can figure out certain things about it.  Considering most monsters are made of raw meat, he has to be held back by your fellow partymates.
Someone (Chilchuck) usually has to encourage you to not “enable his behaviours.”
Overall, Laios simply does not judge!  He’s open and welcoming, and will even take part in your study with you!
(It’s an added bonus that he really likes how you explain things to him…)
Almost like an eager dog, Laios leans over your shoulder to look at the stone in your hand.  Prepared to explain yourself, like usual, you take a breath. “May I?” he interrupts you.  You still for a second.  Does he mean…? You slowly lift the rock up to the taller man behind you.  You don’t have any words as he leans down to give a small lick. You’re almost flattered from how open he is to it. At the taste, Laios’ eyebrows furrow, and he seems to seriously try to dissect the flavour.  He hums and tilts his head to you.  “Salty?” “Yeah,” you reply, slowly growing a bit more comfortable as you get an excuse to talk about your study, “so that means this rock might contain evaporite minerals.” Laios smiles slightly, leaning back to his full height to converse with you in a more casual position.  “Which are?” Your conversation continues, with Laios taking mental notes that he’ll hopefully remember for later next time he comes across a monster. Maybe if you find a gargoyle…
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Marcille
Sorry she is so judgemental.
You are so lucky she likes you or else she’ll loudly give her opinion on how gross it is.
Well, that is until she learns the context as to why.
She’ll still be a little bit unsure, wondering if it’s proper conduct at all.
Marcille is trying her best, she really is, but you can’t just end a conversation so suddenly because you saw a rock, licked it in front of her, and said “hm… sedimentary.”
She wonders every day what she did to deserve such an… interesting taste in crushes. 
Though, like all things, give Marcille some time and she’ll warm up to your habits a bit more.  It may even be that she’ll be wondering about her study of the dungeon, running her hand along the wall, and thinking that she could call out to you to taste the wall and tell her the material.
She may not try out the method herself, but she’ll at least tolerate how you do it.  There’s a science behind it, after all…
Marcille stares as you lick your lips and hum to yourself.  Her mouth is a thin line and she’s trying her best not to come out with a disapproving comment. “Any… interesting findings…?”  She stiffly asks instead, gripping Ambrosia as if you’ll try licking her to figure out the levels of Mana too.  You can never be too cautious, even if she is only made out of wood. You smile at Marcille, either blissfully unaware of her austerity or pretending to be.  You hold up the stone in your hand and outline something with your finger.  “I think if we break this, we might find some fossils inside it.  You can keep it for your research if you want.” Marcille’s ears perk up slightly at that.  “For… me?”  She asks aloud, as if there’s anyone else who’d be interested in dungeon rocks.  As soon as she processes it she’s flushed and avoiding eye contact.  “I mean, this is your field of study, not mine!  I couldn’t possibly…” But you take her hands in your own, and place the fossil in her palm.  Marcille’s breath hitches when you take her fingers and fold them over the stone. “I trust you to come up with something.”  You beam at the elf, and she thinks that she might just have to take a chance in your skills.
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Chilchuck
Not exactly open to it, not entirely critical about it either…
…But you will get a bit of a look whenever you do it.
He might be more the kind to make sure you aren’t outright doing it at stupid moments.  You better not get any ideas looking at those statues!
Sometimes you’ll be about to hold the stone up to your mouth, and right when your tongue is about to touch it, you’ll hear Chilchuck sigh a “don’t.”
Honestly this guy is treating you like a dog with something it shouldn’t have in its mouth.  Don’t worry, worrying and fretting is how he shows his love.
Even if he doesn’t like admitting to it…
If you try to explain how licking things helps in your study, Chil is inclined to raise his eyebrow and say that your field must be full of weirdos.
Then again, he’s the one who likes you so maybe he shouldn’t be too harsh…
He’s willing to let you do what you need to do but that doesn’t mean you’re free from his scathing commentary.
Crouched down, you analyse some rock in front of you.  It stands out a fair bit from most of the other geodes down here.  What could it be…? You lean in, your tongue grazing the stone slightly, and you lick.  The tip of your tongue familiarises itself with the taste.  Maybe metamorphic…? “Are you serious?”  You freeze at the sound of Chilchuck’s boyish voice.  On your hands and knees licking rocks isn’t exactly the ideal position to be judged in, even as you turn to look at the half-foot, arms crossed.  “Senshi is in the middle of cooking, no need to resort to eating rocks.” You roll your eyes.  You’re used to how Chilchuck treats your study at this point.  “I was just curious.” Chilchuck scoffs, walking up to pull you by the back of your collar up onto your feet again, which you do with some coercion.  “Yeah sure,” he says, “just wanna confirm you haven’t completely lost your marbles yet.” You look up at him, and squint.  Holding back a laugh, you mutter, “was that…?” “No, it wasn’t a dad joke,”  Chilchuck sighs, leaving you to your devices again.  “Just don’t do anything stupid when no one’s watching.” He hopes even as you giggle and confirm, you won’t notice the bright blush blooming on Chilchuck’s cheeks and tips of his ears.  How embarrassing…
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Senshi
Also winning the dgaf war I fear.
He’d watch you lick some of the rocks you had picked out from your travels while resting.
It comes as no surprise that it then crosses his mind if the flavour changes when cooked, which he asks if he can do with some of your selection.
You can use your imagination on how Marcille and Chilchuck reacted when told that today’s dinner is … just rocks.
(Laios is disappointed that it isn’t any cool monster rocks.)
One delightful montage later, and ‘tis finished!  Since they are for your research, Senshi insists you have the first bite.
Crunch… and oh, such unique flavours!
You gush to Senshi about how this is a major breakthrough in how different minerals react to cooking conditions, and he gives you his observations too.
Honestly, just sort of wholesome bonding!
“Aye, this one cooked easily, while this one took plenty more time.” You nod eagerly as you watch Senshi point to two different stones.  “That’s because one is an igneous rock, which is magmatic.  The other is a sedimentary rock, which carries different minerals from lakes and oceans.  Separation in cooking must have resulted in different reactions!  I wonder how different metamorphic rocks would react…” As you mumble to yourself, Senshi happily continues his meal-making, occasionally responding back to you with hums and comments about what else each observed in his experimentation. Even when you had finished up your meal entirely, you thanked Senshi with the widest grin on your face.  He couldn’t help but be just a little flattered when you go on to joke that you should bring him home with you so he can help with your research. In return, Senshi listens to you, and hangs on your every word as you explain your findings to him.  Even if not too nutritious of a meal, the minerals from the rocks provide some calcium and other such buffs! And well…  If he can keep that happiness prolonged with his cooking, then he’s doing a very good job providing for you indeed!
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Izutsumi
“Why are you eating rocks?  Looks gross.”
Make way for the #1 hater…
Izutsumi refuses to listen to any such rationalities you make about your study or why you lick rocks (even though she’s the one who asked), she’s still finding it icky and weird.
You’d have to fight fire with fire when it comes to her, you’ll question why she does some habits she does in return – such as licking her hand.
She’ll look at you like you’re stupid, before telling you that it’s a way for her to clean herself and notice if there’s anything caught in her fur.
“Ah, so like how I would lick rocks to identify anything embedded in them too!”
…How dare you try to rationalise yourself with her own logic, heathen.
Jail for reader.  Jail for 1000 years.
She’s not one to so readily accept other people’s weird quirks, but eventually she has to find that she’ll look stupid if she doesn’t…  It’s a bit of a dirty scheme, but it works.
“Come on, Izu, just give it a try!  I promise it just tastes like water.” “What kinda water?!”  She shoots back. You pause.  “W…Water?” This is how the argument between whether or not water has a flavour comes to be.  Izutsumi insists that some water tastes icky while others taste nice.  You have to explain that this pure water simply doesn’t have a taste.  She doesn’t believe you. In fact, Izutsumi makes you give the sedimentary stone another taste before affirming, it just tastes like water.  She’s about to grab your shoulders and shake you.  What kind of water?! It takes plenty of encouragement and an immediate failsafe orange juice Senshi squeezed out for her to ‘get rid of’ the taste when you get Izutsumi to taste the stone. She still hasn’t forgiven you… 
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glittersstuff · 14 hours
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broken heart - Nico Hischier
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Warnings; casanova always breaks your heart, maybe Nico proves you the opposite.
Rie's note; ////
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When you started working as medical staff for the devils, you felt like home. You're more shy than a party animal, but the boys make it look so easy to get along with you. You just love talking in your native language with some players. Its hard as swiss german to travel to another country just to work here. Without family or friends. Without knowing anybody.
"Hey y/n! Do I have my medical check with you today?", Nico comes in the training room, looking at you. You nod, cheeks getting red and you do a weird gesture with your hands. He looks so damn good, he could wear a garbage bag and would look hot.
Hopefully Nico looks at you one time in his life like you look at him.
How embarrassing, what your thoughts are as professional worker.
After every session you fall more and more for Nico. It seems so natural talking about everything with him. Honestly you forget the time until someone knocks on the door. Every single time with Nico. The boys mock you about it, too ask him out but you're afraid. He's known as a free minded man and doesn't want a relationship at this moment. You're not a puck bunny.
But you catch yourself enjoying having him around, even if you hide it because you have to stay professional. You can tell him everything. Just pretend how it feels you would dating him. Until today.
Nico cancelled the check up and asked to have a medical staff change. When the head coach told you, it was like a punch in the face. Did you anything wrong? Did you accidentally hurt him?
Nico avoids you, he comes later just not to see you. Your heart feels heavy, breaking down in thousand parts. You just want to cry and its getting worse from day to day.
You have to walk through the training room where the whole team trains but you stopped in front of the door before to get in. Nico does sit ups, talking to his teammates, "you know she's nice, but it annoys me she talks too much about her private life", you start to sniffle. You go through the room, shocked faces look at you. They know you heard that. You just nod and walk on, trying to keep the head high. Its just acting, in your dreams you want to run into the bathroom and crying until you feel better.
The next days you don't speak much while working with the guys. Just some "mh, yes, ok, alright", comes from you. You don't want to bother another one, you really need your job to pay all the bills. You don't want to be the excluded one.
The boys are sceptical, they love your sunshine soul and funny stories, cheering them up with their injuries and being a really comfortable person. The last days you walked under power, like a robot and rarely smiling. You don't talk about private things anymore, just doing the job until time is over. You feel so disgusted on yourself to bother a hockey player about your life. You can't believe you're this selfish.
"Can we speak?", on a practice morning Nico comes earlier that usual just to have a conversation with you. He knows you're always over-punctual.
"I don't think so. I have work to do, sorry", you smile politely.
His big brown eyes looking at you to beg talking.
"What can I do that you talk to me?", Nico asks.
"If you have health issues, yes. I can do my job", you reply little too emotional. Tears coming up but you gulp it down.
"Ok. My back hurts after the last hit yesterday. Can you check it?", he speaks out. Secretly he doesn't have problems with his back but if its the only way to talk with you, he'll pretend.
"Ok, come with me", you quit the conversation.
"Where on your back is the pain?", Nico gets undressed his T-shirt, sitting down on the massage table. He just points at his heart. "My heart hurts really bad". "Do you need a doctor?", you get in panic.
Nico turns around his good looking head, show you with a hand gesture to calm down,"no! My heart hurts because I hurt you".
"How cheesy, Hischier".
"Well your coworker told me you have a crush on me and I really broke your heart. I was talking not about you, it was about an annoying family member! I want to date you but you always stayed professional-", Nico runs his fingers on his hair. He always does this when he gets nervous.
"You didn't want me work for you anymore. I mean i have to be fine with your decision", you say and checking on his back if rips and muscles are okay.
"It was because John asked me to change. He was really enthusiastic about how you helped him well", Nico explains.
He turns around, youre standing between his legs. That's not the position you wanted but it feels alright. It feels safe.
Your skin begins to sparkle.
"I'd like to go out with you?", he takes your arms, looking up with a cute, chill smile.
"Like a date? a date date? with candles and a suit?", your eyes brightening up. "But I'm not just a girl for one night!".
"I thought about mini golf but if you want to, I'll call a restaurant", Nico's brown eyes finding yours. His smile is so precious. "And I only have good intentions for a relationship".
"Yes but I'm sorry I have to work on your back -", you stumble over your own words. You feel overwhelmed by his honest words.
Nico pulls you closer, you can feel his breath on your face. "I don't have problems with my back. If i have it one day, i hope my future genius girlfriend is waiting for me at home to help me with that", he softly kisses your cheek, stands up and pulls his shirt on. Your cheeks burn in a cherry red because of this kiss. Damn he's a really good kisser and you cant wait to get more.
"I hope you mean it in the medical way, casanova!"
"I know you already had a wild dream about me. You talk in your sleep and I understand swiss german", he winks, kisses your cheek again and walks out of the door.
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hey-august · 2 days
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Working on the big top for years, working with buggy for so long you trust each other more than anyone, being each other’s confidant and best friend but NEVER crossing the line to anything else because! That’s still your boss! And your friend!
You could neverrrrrr imagine anything happening between the two of you especially not late at night, cleaning up after a show after the crew has gone to bed, sitting down to take a break and putting ur head in his lap, looking up at the stars and catching buggy staring at you? Oh my god that’s crazy nooooo you absolutely would neverrrrrr reach up and pull him down to kiss you omg
Ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh. I LOVE this anon. I love this and things got out of hand. It deviates sliiiightly from what you wrote because I kept forgetting about the stars. I hope it's still enjoyable!!
WC: 908 Warnings: SFW, buggy x GN!reader, lil bit of longing, mention of drinking, barely proofread
It’s purely platonic. A friendly connection. Captain and crewmate. Drinking buddies. Shoulders to cry on. Secret keepers. Partners in crime. Friends, and nothing more.
Becoming close happened so naturally that no one questioned it. Life carried on, as it does, and eventually you and Buggy were joined at the hip. While you worked on the crew and he was the captain, the dynamic didn’t carry into the friendship. 
No one worried that you were an informant for their boss. You knew when to keep your mouth shut, when to pass along “rumors,” and you still joined in on the shit talk. It was all part of the bonding and you were thankful that your connection to the captain didn’t ruin it. If anything, it boosted morale. Your closeness with the captain made them feel closer to him as well. If you could survive slapping him on the back with laughter, so could they. 
The other tokens of friendly affection, however, they left to you. Grabbing Buggy by the arm and dragging him to see something. Teasing him whenever he got irrationally ticked off. Shoving him playfully after a prank. Pushing the hair from his face when his hands are busy. Offering calming words and a quiet walk when his emotions were too extreme.
Buggy reciprocated in kind. Only letting you polish off his personal flask. Fixing your clothes when you misaligned the buttons or left a tag out. Swapping plates and drinks mid-meal. Calling you out on your shit when you were being rude or pissy. Offering you his room as a quiet place to calm down when you needed a minute.
You two were buds. Peas in a pod. Birds of a feather. And nothing more. That’s just how it was. How it was supposed to stay. It was luck that the friendship worked out well and didn’t jeopardize the crew. You couldn’t risk throwing that off-balance.
No matter how much your heart ached when you shared drinks that touched both of your lips. No matter how much you liked when he squeezed you with one arm while laughing raucously at a shitty joke you told. No matter how long you wanted to stay in his room, hoping that he would come in to join you. No matter how many times you held his hand in the dark, while you both walked the deck among the stars.
You were friends.
You used to be friends until that one night. Another successful raid, another successful show, another successful party. The crew worked hard and they were exhausted. Knowing you could convince the captain to finish cleaning in the morning if you two were alone, you helped the rest of the crew sneak away slowly.
“Looks like it’s just us again, Bugs.” The captain hadn’t noticed the dwindling numbers and needed you to point it out.
“What? What?! Where did those freaks go?” Buggy spun around, as if he expected you to be lying. Maybe his crew was hiding among the seats, waiting to pop out.
“It’s been a long day, captain. We’ve done a lot…why don’t we sit down for a moment.” 
That was the first step. Get Buggy to relax. Once his guard was down, it would be easier to convince him to call it a night.
Instead of listening, the pirate continued to grumble. Slipped in between complaints about abandonment were short praises and compliments about how well his crew performed and what a great captain they had to bring them such glory. Rather than interrupting his monologue, you sat on the wood ground to listen and wait for him to follow your lead.
Buggy’s mouth ran on as he joined you on the floor cross-legged and patted his lap. You reclined and rested your head on his leg, settling in to be a good friend.
It was no secret that Buggy talked a lot. You were a good listener. You had to be, as his best friend. Sometimes he just wanted to talk. He didn’t need to be heard, but you always paid attention. The pirate’s voice was soothing. Whether it was shrill when he was shrieking, grating because he was shouting, low because he was angry, or bubbly with excitement, you wanted to drift away in the sound. Closing your eyes, you let yourself fall deeper.
As he carried through topic after topic, his voice grew softer. Calmer. You could easily imagine Buggy’s expressive yet content face. While it was imprinted in memory, the real vision was one that always took your breath away. Opening your eyes to get your fill, you were faced with the gentle expression aimed towards you. 
With air stuck in your chest, your mouth was empty. Lonely.
Reaching up, you put a hand on the back of Buggy’s head and pulled your friend closer. And closer. And closer. Until your lips touched. Until you could breathe again, filling yourself with him. His mouth was soft. Warm. Inviting. Your tongue accepted the invitation and joined his for a dance that started cautiously before turning into something fervent and confident. 
You held him close until your breath stopped again, stilled by emotions that grew too big and too fast to keep contained. Loosening your hold on his head, Buggy took the cue. He pulled away, also out of breath.
You two stared at each other in silence.
“It was about time,” he finally said before leaning in to kiss you again.
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