#so thats a good productive evening

[wlw-cryptid]

i- uhm . hgnj, hbgnjmkgh bhnjgmkh you. made me wet. im keeping this in the vault forever

#im so. oh my god #good GOD you get it #you GET it #tentacles #she speaks #anon #asks #this makes me want to draw. i think we're really onto something w the hot springs idea #v-velvety tendrils......... 😵🥴😖😵🥴😵 #“exploring the soft warm thing thats visiting them” stop that made me feel so pretty #i love imagining body still reacting to being filled with eggs even when they dont take. giving me that extra milk production #god it just all sounds so comfortable and fulfilling you wrote this just perfect for me #greatest hits

[artisthedgehog]

i honestly think ppl should stop making fun of new/beginner artists the amount of times i saw someone posting a drawing and a lot of ppl commenting shit with the intent of making a joke out of it is heartbreaking especially cuz most of the ppl who post the drawings have so much potential and seeing others sayng things that can really discourage them from practicing and improving is just. yeah

#also like. art isnt supposed to be good anyway #at least for me the reason why i make art is to have fun even if i dont like the final product #and seeing ppl make fun of others who are just trying to enjoy themselves annoys me a little (and by that i mean a lot) #and what annoys me even more is when its a bigger and “better” artist thats making fun of the “”“”“worst”“”“” one #especially THOSE should know better #you werent born with artistic talent. no one was. #if u probably had to practice so much to get where you are right now why would you make fun of someone going through the same journey? #you should SUPPORT them. not make fun of their art #ive been wanting to rant abt this for a while LMAO #but yeah #u get my point #art things #artists on tumblr #art

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #didnt mean to write this much about the concept but i really am so... #jealous almost. id love to be able to read my fic as a reader. #because it's tailor made to my tastes Exactly. #and i know it's good writing. i surprise myself even sometimes with how good things end up. #it's never a doubt in my mind that i'll make things good. even the harder things . while bringing trepitation . i know i'll figure them out. #the relationship a fic writer has with their own fic is so... yeah. intimate. but still somehow emotionally removed. #but thats how it goes with any art piece i think #the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it #they know their work better than Anyone Else. but they'll never be able to experience it like an outsider. #is my fic helping someone through a rough breakup? is it something someone rereads when theyre sad? #is it a fic that people stay up way too late reading? the fic that someone discovers and consumes all within a day? #that voracious love. ive experienced it many times with other fics. but i can never experience it with my own. #but in the end. that's okay. i will just continue to do as i wish with it. and maybe people will continue to like it. #it is my goal to make a fic that people will never forget. what that may mean differs depending on the person. #i want it to be the best fic it can be. and i will make it so with every brick i lay down. #puttering about for days and weeks and months. it's Most of what i think about. it's my impact on the world. #and it's sitting for 3 hours after work in the storage room writing until im shivering but Satisfied with a productive writing session #it's writing some of my most emotional scenes while sitting for an hour on the toilet #no one else knows what the toilet written scenes are. but I Do. such is my relationship with my fic. #(the focus in the Quiet Rooms cannot be underestimated. the bathroom is indeed one of the Quiet Rooms lol) #& man. ive rambled so much now. but i just love my fic so very much #i'll never be an ITNL reader. and that's okay. because i'm its writer. & that's a status that No One Else can boast. #even those people who state that it's their Favorite favorite cant rival the intimacy of my own relationship with it. #I Am Its Writer and that means so very much to me. #i... really do love my fic y'all

[seldaryne]

"Wyll's quest regarding the Wyrmway is now a subquest instead of part of his main quest."

"Wyll's quest regarding Ravengard will now more reliably and frequently receive updates in Act III."

so mechanically speaking then, was the demotion of quest status in the first point required for them to implement the functionality of the second or??? because i genuinely don't understand why it became a subquest, especially when the game's structure already allows you to just ignore quests & move on to the next area if you want. most of the patch notes that directly mention wyll are bug-related or scripting flow, which i don't have a problem with (bug fixes are great, we love those). i'd love to hear any thoughts about this, though, because i really can't think of a reason why it had to become a subquest?

i also initially read that second point as planning for future updates to wyll's content but at a second glance i think it may just be referring to journal updates? i don't know, i'd like to believe my initial reaction was the correct one but... yknow. anyway i maintain that this is yet Another example of some really goddamn weird choices on the developmental end of things. if the companion quests exist on a sliding scale of 'most related to current main storyline to least,' wyll is very much at the top end of things. optimistic thought is that a lot of his scrapped content existed in the parts of act 3 that were cut, but i would think that as a studio you'd see that & make an effort to level things out with how much screentime the other companions have. at the bare minimum, your player base shouldn't be able to clock so many weird holes in his story arc where it's clear that something else was supposed to be offered.

i'm also not saying that the other companion arcs weren't clunky in some areas & didn't need a bit of help, but the disparity here makes deprioritizing those edits seem like a more logical course of action. like there's a difference between some slightly unpolished scenes vs. something that feels fundamentally lacking in a lot of structural ways, especially when you get into the finer points of the comparisons. act 3 imo is the one that feels the most bare-bones to me. like yes, there's Stuff there visually and quests too but it doesn't feel as lived-in as acts 1 & 2. i would say that the underdark to ketheric section feels the most dense, content-wise, and i don't think it's a coincidence that it's the bracket of the game i enjoy the most. i maintain that giving wyll's storyline the attention it needs would not only help with the character arc itself, but also pad out the quieter stretches of act 3. at this point i don't really see how they'd be able to add in the upper city without either completely changing the trajectory of the third act (so like, almost definitely something we Will Not See Happen & understandably so from a production standpoint. weird post-release editing aside, it is still a finished game.) & i'm also not sure what a DLC would look like here because the main story feels pretty complete too. off the top of my head, maybe one where you follow wyll & karlach into avernus would work, but that's worldstate dependent & probably wouldn't get made for that reason.

all that to say, from where i'm standing it really seems like giving wyll the same respect other companions are offered would by extension fix some of the act 3 issues, without having to release an entirely new area of the game (i'd love it i just don't think it's realistic lmao). like i know why/what the factors are that led to wyll getting the short end of the stick, it's bullshit but it's not the first time we've seen black characters handled unfairly by devs (& fans), but beyond that it's literally just. so confusing to me on the basis of writing alone. why wouldn't you use the character with that many ties to the titular city of the game more? why isn't he more integral to the story when it really seems like he has every reason to take the spotlight in certain areas?? like that's a fantastic resource of a character to use to move the narrative along and Yet.

idk. this started off as just a reaction to patch notes but it's so unbelievably frustrating to watch it keep happening every patch.

#like when you KNOW why but my brain still refuses to comprehend?? bc its so Dumb on production's side?? #there feels like there's so little flavour text for him even like... idk. #anyway thats my thoughts on patch 6 #new kisses are nice menu qol fixes sound good now please do something about this #like put it on the list or something. #bg3 #no really like does anyone know why this is now a subquest. what does this mean have any of you seen this in other games.

[icewindandboringhorror]

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard* #I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details #of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point #but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag #of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there #are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance #but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly #doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. ) #the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead #of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like #you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image #or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i #wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol) #hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe #I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing #that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc #eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that #this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently #wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj #Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU #CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN #MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie* #Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol #I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it #with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits #and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit #out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the #unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh #re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI #art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA

[tealfruit]

it's really a shame I have to sell 40+ of my life hours every week for poverty wages instead of spending all my time and energy on dozens of creative and technical pursuits with unlimited resources

#nerd alert #lets see if i can list all the hobbies i wish i could be doing instead of working #drawing. both traditional and digital. painting mostly acrylic but id like to get good at watercolors. drawing/writing comics #writing in general. fiction nonfiction poetry lyrics whatever. composing music. music production. singing. practicing piano and guitar #performing someday maybe! #sculpting too. i always forget bc i never do it bc i am never in a place to justify buying clay. i should just get some #i think im fairly good at it tbh. anyway. #knitting. sewing. mending and modding clothes in general. embroidery. id like to learn to crochet at some point #photography and scrapbooking sound appealing. photo editing. #web design. game design. 3d modeling. these are all things i dont really know how to do much of but id like to #animation. voice acting. regular acting. honestly a lot of stuff in the filmmaking process sounds fascinating id like to try some of it #tarot reading. is that a hobby? im gonna say yes. jewelry making. #lots of these ive only dabbled in and some i havent even done that but would like to. but i have no time and or money to get into them. #i would hardly call myself a master at any of these. jack of all trades as it were. and thats fine im fine w that #but given the time and resources i think i could make so many different diverse perfectly average to good things #that people could enjoy in passing or say 'oh how neat :)' about

[soldier-poet-king]

Literally beating back my brain with a stick. Why are you LIKE THIS. We resolved - or at least came to an uneasy tentative truce with - the absolute dogshit self esteem issues eons ago. Why are were BACK here fighting the having zero concept of personhood or self worth problems. Even /if/ my brain is right and I'm garbage bad non-person whos a burden and just manipulating ppl into caring abt me. Like even IF that's true. I can't self sacrifice and do Good when I'm obsessively navel gazing. Even if the fundamental belief at the core of my being is that I'm worthless, I gotta stop ACTIVELY thinking abt it BC I need to be DOING things and dragging myself thru hot coals for others, not just obsessing about how bad I am that I can't even do that. If I can't even do that what am I good for? What's the purpose of me at all?

AHHHHHHHHH

#franposting #this is moody whiny complaining sorry friends #i will be ok #i just need. to not think #hollow out myself until theres nothing left but duty and obligation to the good #until all the selfishness and solipsism and preoccupation with my own worthlessness is gone #until i stop wanting basic human things like comfort and goodness. thats not for me to want. its for me to provide outwards #i am forgetting to do good #and sure maybe positive self belief would be better. but im honestly unsure im capable of that. or even neutral #i just need to transformthe self disgust into action #stop moping start doing #its hard when im beyond exhausted every waking minute #but i have to try. have to learn to function with headaches and bone deep tiredness #i cannot live with my selfish comfort anymore #<i literally know being bored at work isnt helping #idle mind and no feeling of accomplishment #but what else am i to do. i have done. so much busywork #i have stretched out every task. I'm just . so bored #i need to be productive and useful to be good

[july-19th-club]

i love when characters suck and are bad people like the thing about murphy is that i liked him before he was the incredible wife guy (which is also pretty great, dont get me wrong) but like. i thought he was cool when he was a horrible jackass that everyone hated . like he was interesting before he got morals; he was interesting as a guy who gets lynched in a frontier justice display of retaliation for a murder because he just seems like the kind of dude who would murder someone. and he is! just not that dead guy, specifically. whereas the actual killer is a twelve-year-old girl who the whole crew spends the episode trying to proctect from any kind of punishment, while murph runs around trying and failing to get anyone to admit out loud that the only reason there's a difference between punishing him and punishing her is because he has a bad personality . and also the murders but at that point in the show he hadn't killed anyone, he just seemed like he would

#now the OPTICS of his eventual murder of the guy that lynched him? are abysmal given that murphy is white and connor is black #BUT . that is not a murphy problem that is a showrunners' racial politics are simply completely bankrupt problem #the early-seasons flipflopping between him and finn never ceases to interest me either. his main thing is a sense of antagonistic FAIRNESS #which means that he has no problem helping during the sickness or with food production - doing objectively good things - if they need done #BUT he will also use the opportunity to kill anyone he feels has wronged him; in this case his would-be executors #also anyone who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time #but - even with all that - by the second season he's only killed two people . he's made more attempts; but they all fell through. #finn manages to keep his hands clean for nearly the whole first season and is an adamant pacifist #but grows so emotionally unstable by the second season that he shoots up an entire town full of people and then - just like charlotte - #is defended and protected by many of his crewmates in a way that #had the same event occured but with the roles swapped - murphy shooting instead - would not have happened #and these facts are not lost on murphy! even when he becomes the incredible wife guy #she's the only person who really thinks he has like. a likeable personality #everyone else is like 'well we used to hate him but then we had bigger problems. so he just lives here now. he's all right i guess' #the 100 #god i just always have so much to SAY about this shit #love the 100 because it's one of those shows thats bad but NOT so bad that there isn't like a ton of really interesting stuff #to discuss and analyze and reinvent and talk about

[milkweedman]

ah, the ever-more-frequent Urge To Explode My Brain from unending migraines. a migraine that just lasts the day already sucks so bad. whole day is gone in a blur of pain and misery, right ? a migraine that lasts multiple days is sort of like if hell was real and you were in it. time has no meaning, only pain, etc.

months of migraines... with no break or end or effective treatment and also you still have to work and behave like a normal person because you cannot lie in bed for months not paying rent. well id describe it you but ive fucking lost the plot. its gone on so long and its so bad that when the migraine ISN'T at its peaking on the pain scale and making me feel like if i was hit by a truck that would be an improvement, i start to feel like my head is a vestigial organ that has been removed. cant access sensation in my head and it feels literally disconnected from my body. meanwhile the pain is still there (along with the brain fog, vertigo, nausea, etc) but it feels like its happening to somebody else.

#im kind of impressed that i can at this point carry a normal conversation (as good as i ever can. which is bad but irrelevant) #while being in agony and having been in agony for as long as i can remember #usually also with something dislocated just for some extra fun #because what i actually feel like doing 100% of the time is lighting myself on fire and/or screaming forever until i die #however thats the kind of shit that puts you in the psych ward again #so i am. smiling and making small talk while migraine auras wash out my vision and i try not to visibly dry heave #its really really really fucking bad. all the time so fucking bad. #i need to message my neurologist but likelihood of me doing that is low #because 1) the stuff she's put me on has so far done nothing but add intolerable side effects to the hell that i am already existing in #and 2) its fucking hard to do anything. even the bare minimum im not doing. so extra shit is just. not happening #i want to scream. #i am gonna. go for a walk and smoke a cigarette instead and then get really high because at least then i dont really care #the auras are making it really hard to see though. theyre like bleach all over my vision. just this wash of white #hhh. #chronic illness #chronic migraine #and its like. when my knee also gives out and it feels like theres metal in there slicing everything up with each tiny movement #or any of the other one million goddamn things broken in my body #i end up so overwhelmed by pain that i just want to lay on the floor and cry #at which point everyone around me gets mad that im not being productive and im costing them money and im not good enough #like ok kill me then. cheaper for you happier for me. just get a heavy object and go to town i would thank you for it #but i cant even say that because openly expressing suicidality just makes people angrier #im rapidly running out of fucks to give but also i will do anything to avoid returning to the psych ward #literally anything. morals out the window. i dont give a shit. #so its a catch-22. #vent

[bmpmp3]

i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!

#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to #that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know #but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look #like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies #dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS #plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song #and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal #again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness. #plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like #yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more #OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit #love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning #im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY #i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy #but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like #emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness #its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool #addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic #but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english?????? #people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys #this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like #the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth #but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me..... #a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd #i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying #about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement

[the-kipsabian]

seriously tho unless swerve wins and oc gets a meaningful title feud (or actually like. finally snaps. gimme that corruption arc that might keep me tuning back into dynamite) im just done after revolution

this just doesnt spark joy

#i'll just pop back in for a very rare kip losing a match once every two months its fine #this is seriously just so hard to watch. im just not engaged at all. i need something that actually works for me im tired #if i just had something proper to replace this with moving away would be so much easier ough #i mean. there are good things. but they are inevitably sullied by everything thats wrong so. bleh #just gonna shelf this for a while unless something changes. which. lmao #anyways rant over im just very fucking tired like. at this point this product just doesnt engage me at all. barely even with what i like #im halfway through collision and it feels like ive been watching this for three hours. that says something #wrestling musing

[ankhisms]

once again fighting tooth and nail against the deeply engraved insecurities and issues we got notes emailed to us from rehersal last night and my brain launched into OHHH WERE NOT DOING GOOD ENOUGH WE SUCK SO BAD AT EVERYTHING like hey. calm down. its ok. take my hand we can keep trying to improve

#it wasnt even that i had any bad notes given to me i just have to emphasize one word more but my brain was like #hm everyone else (over generalizing) got praised and got more notes than me. i must be a FAILURE #when its like. no thats not true. you were told recently that you have very good instincts for acting and #that we take direction really well and so me having less notes is not necessarily a bad thing #but its still hard to fight off the feeling of self doubt and ohhh what if im bad at this thing i love #like ok so what if were bad at it? this isnt professional theater. id like to be doing professional acting but this is community theater #i always do my very best in any production im in but like in the end who cares if i suck at it. im not getting paid #anyway going to try and record my voice lines for the animated short film im voicing soon and i think thatll help

[cupiare]

wholly appreciating the protagonist in this book who has inhuman grace in a fucked up family situation bcs a faultless child is caught in the middle of it and she’s resolutely putting all resentment aside to ensure the kid doesn’t have to suffer any more as a result of adults’ mistakes. “im hurt and in pain and i hate this situation but we have a duty to this child an innocent person can make us all behave better” sooo heartwarming and also heartbreaking to find this attitude expressed so clearly and having children treated with the kindness they should all and always be treated with. Give me a moment

#p #doubly so cause he’s presumably autistic and rejected by everyone in his life #and then this woman even thought he’s the product of her husband’s affair can’t feel any bit of resentment for him #acknowledging he could never be at fault and out of anyone he must not be punished #she cleared EVERYONE sorry absolutely humbled them with her grace and kindness and commanding the rest of the circus to do the same #and making it a point that whatever the hell they do moving forward it will not involve inadvertently punishing the child #i have so much love in my heart for kids and i love love love seeing this character #acting upon the thing i often get on a soapbox about #mrs harriet you are so so good much too good for your shitass husband but so right for protecting those who r also his victims #i didn’t think id get so invested in this kind of story like cheating affairs bla bla not my kind of book #BUT iris murdoch builds amazing characters and atmospheres and has a lovely philosophy #that drives her books #ok tangent i just love this point thats driving the story forward

[natugood]

I have incomprehensible thoughts rn about how many classic American folk songs are kinda fucked up (and many are "sanitized" for modern listening to be less fucked up), and it's wild that we just, teach these songs to children without any context or anything? like, clementine is about a miner's daughter DROWNING TO DEATH as he watches helplessly? Old folks at home is a fucking RACIST AF ass song written by a white dude in the perspective of a slave who has been freed who misses his life on a plantation? when John Henry was sang by miners it often had ad-libbed, graphic lyrics about having sex with women at the end of the work day (as a way to motivate themselves and get them through the hell that was mining in the 1800s), and a lot of our modern versions are just super sanitized? like I get its hard to explain a lot of that shit to kids but like, its often never revisited and those songs are just left as sanitized, incoherent childhood introductions to America when they actually all have great amounts of value and history when put into context!!

#I will die on this hill that American folk music is an important part of history and it makes me sad it gets left behind and sanitized #its original meaning should not be incomprehensible and forgotten. even if it is extremely ugly and vile; or even if its really dark and sa #like in order for the country to reconcile with its evil and paiiiinful past we need to ACKNOWLEDGE IT and stop trying to sanitize it #anyways. fun facts clementine was a favorite song of mine as a child and I still hold it near and dear to my heart. and dont get me STARTED #ON OLD FOLKS AT HOME #that song is soooo racist but I learned it in a cello positions book so I didn't know the lyrics or context for YEARS after I learned it #and I always thought it was such a hauntingly beautiful song cause musically IT IS. SO GOOD. #but goddamn when I found out the lyrics and the context I was so fucking mad. thats some awful fucked up bullshit like I cant even begin #and idk it makes me upset to think about the context but also I think it really important we recognize that was really the true atmosphere #at the time and that was our country. Stephen foster is an American folk legend and he wrote that awful racist song. he is great at his art #form but is not separate from his place in time. he was a racist even if he was progressive at that moment in hisotry. #and that is our country. and idk like I think that that adds even more pain to that song and it makes it even more painful to listen to #and thats why we need to not forget it and listen to it to fucking remember and acknowledge how we got here and what we came from #I hate that song and I love that song but I hate it and ughhhhh I wish I hadn't learned it on cello and loved the melody for years #cause its gross af. but also like #its where we came from so I shouldn't hate our history cause thats ignorant and not productive #anwyays #googoogajoob

[timeisacephalopod]

Funny that every single fat person is accused of promoting obesity for simply existing- but somehow tobacco companies aren't held similarly responsible for selling a product that causes all kinds of health risks and cancers- fat people are held accountable for their "cost" to the healthcare system but never once have I heard anyone argue for shutting down tobacco companies under the grounds of promoting and glorifying cancer and only existing to sell poison to addicted customers for the sole purposes of their own profits.

Like it's very strange how little we shit on tobacco companies for doing everything we accuse fat people of down to actually costing the healthcare system money, which I doubt fat people do more than anyone else as fat people report delaying doctors visits for as long as possible to avoid weight based discrimination. I just think it's baffling that fat people face systemic oppression for existing because we think we can Individual Choice them into being thin, but we can't Individual Choice tobacco company execs into shutting down a business that exits entirely to get people addicted to cancer causing products to the point of being an ongoing public health crisis. We can't shut up about The Obesity Epidemic ™️ but them stats on tobacco deaths? Well I guess no one can be Systemically Shamed into fixing that except the smokers whom we shame via disgusting images on the back of cigarette packages. Because somehow that's how tobacco companies can be held responsible for getting people addicted to cancer causing products, acting like the customer is responsible for the company selling it.

#winters ramblings #anyway holding fat people more accountable for a puic health crisis for existing than tobacco companies for PROFITING OFF a self created #health crisis? good lord clutch your perals you cant treat companies with the same amount of accountability you expect out of individuals! #how could you ever expect international businesses selling poison to people to not do that because theyve created a health crisis? #anyway maybe if we start following fat people around making trumoet noises theyll stop being fat finally #because this works to fix the obesity epidemic but not for business regulation even though the evidence says the opposite is true #very curious that #also tobacco companies LITERALLY DID glorify smoking into making it look cool in a way fat people could never #fat people have never been regulated into not selling weight gaining agents under the guise of purposefully getting people Super Fat #and Addicted to Weight Gain Product that also causes a billion cancers even if people are in the same room as the SMOKE of the product #like fat people simply are not glorifying or promoting anything by saying maybe you should fucking hate yourself #if youre not stick thin. self hatred is NEVER beneficial for mental health and shitting on fat people DOES NOT HELP #study after study has shown making people feel like shit about themselves shockingly does not lead to self improvement #can i say anything positive at ALL about tobacco companies? no because they ACTUALLY DID what we acuse fat people of #they purposefully ran misinfo campaigns on the saftey of their product and denied second hand smoke camcer claims #until they literally could not do so any fucking more and they STILL arent held as responsible for the damage their products #cause to public health- their CUSTOMERS are held responsible for that #strange that regulatijg everything about fat people despite the evidence that it DOESNT WORK isnt a good enough reason #to abandon that method and company regulation is ALSO eildly sucessful but thats not good enough evidence to adopt it #i wonder if thats because Certian Political Beliefs in Power are protecting themselves frim any real systemic change #in an effort to preserve their wealth and power 🧐🧐