#so theyll come up with something else i can just hear it now

[witchykittyy]

Agreement 💖

@marcyyywukinnie asked: Hi could you make a fanfic Yandare Blitzo x reader x Yandare Stolas where they just fight about reader, before coming to terms that theyll share them??

I am soooooooo sorry about how late this is!!! I really am. Life's been really hectic and I went through a very depressive episode but I promise to be on top of stuff more often! I really hope you like it! ❤ Sorry if its not really enough fighting per say. 😅

TW: Demons, Hell, Blood, Arguing, Cursing (lots of it), Mentions of kidnapping, Stalking, and other yandere themes.

"Damn that was a fuck ton of clients!!!" Millie jumped up into Moxxie's arms pumped and covered in blood. "Yea it was and it was so fucking awesome! But I think imma head in for the night." You're the newest member of I.M.P. A few days ago you saw their help wanted poster and decided you needed the extra money so you decided to join. You got along really well with Moxxie, Millie and surprisingly Loona. The only person who doesn't seem to like you is Blitzo. He was always staring at you. Watching your every move like he's waiting for you to do something wrong. So you always tend to keep your distance.

"Yea I think me and Millie have had enough excitement for today as well. Goodbye sir! Goodbye Y/N!" "Bye Blizto! Bye N/N!" Moxxie and Millie wave goodbye as they leave. "Whatever, bye." Loona continues on reading her magazine. "Bye guys!" You wave goodbye to them sweetly. "Bye lovebirds! Don't get too kinky while I'm away!" You can almost hear Moxxie rolling his eyes at those words and you chuckle. Now its just you, Loona and... Blitzo. Though your back is turned you can feel his eyes burning into info our skin, its very unsettling so with out turning around you decided to say your goodbyes and leave. "Bye Blitzo! Bye Loona!" "Bye dork." Blitzo doesnt say anything and you start to walk off sill feeling his gaze on you. Suddenly he says "See you soon Y/N"

You got home and were extremely exhausted as you flopped down onto your semi comfortable bed. Due to only recently having a job you dont have that much money to buy yourself a nice place so for right now you're stuck in this crummy apartment. Even though you didnt mind your situation someone else did.

Stolas has been watching you from the day he saw you in the I.M.P headquarters while he was visiting Blitzo. He's been obssessed with you ever since he saw you and has stalked you finding out your likes, habits, dislikes and everything else about you. He truly believes that you deserve so much better than what you have. He loves you and believes you deserve to be treated like a queen. A problem with that is that Blizto is also in love with you. Stolas notices the stares he give you and the longing look in his eyes. He's sure Blitzo has noticed his interest as well and thats probably why Blitzo hasnt spoken to him. But nevermind that.

You change into your PJ', get into bed and start scrolling through Helltok. "Ah shit its getting dark and I have to work tomorrow" you sigh. "I guess I should go to bed as Moxxie would say thats the responsible thing to do." You turn off your phone and go to bed. Stolas stares at you from the window wishing that he were next to you.

After a while he sees someone climbing onto your balcony. He's about to go stop him but then the two lock eyes. "Stolas?! The fuck are you doing here?!" He almost tumbles off the balcony from the surprise. "I should be asking you the same question Blitzo." "Look dipshit im doing the same thing you are but going inside." Blizto starts opening the window. "Wait! We shouldnt do that it invading her privacy." He goes to stop him but then Blitzo slaps his hand away. "Oh and stalking her isnt invading her privacy?! Look just leave ok if you dont wanna do this. Not like I want you stealing my girl anyways." He grumbles the last part but Stolas is able to hear him. "Well I sure as hell am not leaving her alone with you." "Then come in with me." He grabs Stolas's hand and stealthly brings him into the room. Stolas blushes at the sudden contact. 'Wait why'd he blush? What the hell is happening to him?'

You're dead asleep on the bed. "So smart ass what do we do now?" He tries to cover up the fact that grabbing Blitzo's hand made him blush. "We look around bird brain." They start looking around the crummy place, dodging the clothes thrown on the floor. Eventually after looking around for a while Blitzo decides to look your computer as Stolas watches you sleep peacefully. Out of the corner of his eye Stolas sees him breaking into your computer. "Hey!" He yells silently. "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm looking through her computer dipshit." Blitzo rolls his eyes as though its obvious. "Well yes I know that but why?" "To make sure she ain't seeing some other loser."

Blitzo searches and suddenly stops dead in his tracks. "You need to see this birdie." They stare at the computer reading you're messages with some guy named Dennis. "Oh hell no" they growl out in unison. You whine and shift in your sleep as they go dead silent. Once they're sure you're not awake they continue. "We can't let this shit happen." Blitzo growls with malice. "I completely agree. This dirt bag isn't good enough for our Y/N." Stolas nods. "Wait, our?" "Well yes I suppose we'll need to team up to stop this guy and ensure that she stays with us. Is that an ok arrangement?" Stolas questions. "Yea.. Thatd be great." Blitzo looks down blushing madly.

#helluva boss #yandere stolas #yandere helluva boss #yandere blitzo #first time writing an actual fanfic #i hope you guys like it

[rot-dogz]

please do dump about your watcher au as much as you want!! I'd love to hear about it!!

YAYYYY THANKS FOR ASKING its autism time Basically um. You know how most the watcher!grian hcs/interpretations have him as an unwilling participant in all this ? Uh, yeah ! Not this grian:3 Well. Kinda. But. Im a TMA Fan and I love FUCKED UP guys so !!!! Watchers feed off emotions. All emotions, but they're especially known for finding fear or grief or other negative emotions the most nutritionally filling/benefital to their health. However: They can't just sit there around someone whos very happy, sad, angry, ect, and then get fed from that. They have to- uh, for lack of better word- latch onto a players "soul," and tear chunks of that from them, dig into their mind and bite into whatever makes them feel and then tear that away. Sometimes, a feeding will cause the victim to be unable to feel anything at all after the feeding, if a Watcher gorges themself solely on them. Most often, when they use restraint while feeding, the victim will loose all feelings they'd had about the previous days, weeks, or even months, and might feel like everythings "dulled down" for some time while they recover. (Younger Watchers usually have to have physical contact with the victim to feed, older or more powerful Watchers can feed without even being on the same plane of existence as their victim, only needing to be able to See them.) Now, that's all kind of similar to a lot of headcanons about Watchers already, and I pulled the "eating emotions" thing from Martyns Eyes & Ears AU (altho in that its JUST fear), but uh... Heres where it differs: The Watchers aren't sentient. Not really, anyway. They're...predators, beings that know they need to feed and will go to great lengths to do so, survival their greatest worry above all else. Think of them like... Smart animals. Corvids, for example, crows especially- they will investigate their own dead to figure out what killed the other bird so they can avoid it, and are extremely good puzzle solvers. Prairie dogs have an incredibly advanced verbal communication system- able to even denote the speed of which a predator is approaching their den (probably the closest we could get to an ""language"" in the animal kingdom). But neither of those animals, as smart as they may be, are considered sentient. Its the same with Watchers. Watchers CAN communicate, they can understand eachother, they can achieve a certain amount of planning, like how squirrels can count what nuts they have & deduce how many they need, or how whales and other marine life are especially prone to being able to plan & use logical reasoning... They can understand the concept of death and... the concept of keeping their food alive for delayed gratification and a continued food source, instead of just going out and feeding on someone until theyre a husk of themselves, unable to provide more food. How, exactly, they got all the players into the life series/how they made the games IS something im working on, but the point im getting at here is that theyre basically like ants farming aphids, except the aphids are sentient people..? yay..? Ah, and Watcher cant reproduce normally. They have incredibly long lifespans, but when a Watcher does come to its end, they... Well, theyll find an player to bite into the soul of, and instead of feeding, they basically do the reverse- shoving all their energy into that being and becoming a parasite that will eventually take over the host and make them a Watcher, similarly without much sentience. Thats what happens to Grian. :3 The exact process of turning is also in the works but basically it starts by becoming unable to eat regular food, slowly focusing all the players willpower into wanting to eat, before they develop the ability to feed from other players. At this stage they might still be able to feel themself, however after feeding from another you tend to loose your own emotions amongst the ones youre feeding off of, and at some point, any remaining emotions the "player" has, is consumed by them for extra nutrition, and in turn they officially become a Watcher.

UMMMM YEAH!!!! Thats all the worldbuilding I have :3333 Theres uh- a story in my mind, but its not as fleshed out? I also MIGHT make it a fic (heavy on the might) so idk how much i'd wanna spoil. But uh, yeah, Grian'll be a bit of a special case in that his turning takes... a lot longer than normal. ^_^ I put him in the torture world sorry

#evo watchers #watcher grian #watchers #grian #hermitblr #trafficblr #im So Normal #you can also tell ir eally like animals from thius post i didnt mean to talk so much abt actual animals i just think they cool

[electraslight]

I care about ur Bevin headcannon I would love to hear

YES i finally get to yell abt these two, its my fav ship in the series idk why people arent more into it. Fanart is supplied as usual and i have some evidence-ey screenshots under the cut, mostly bc i want to share them w SOMEONE other than my friend blue. Enjoy my ramblings

-kevin is dating both ben and gwen, gwen and his relationship being a lot more outward and public and ben a more private relationship, they only ever kiss or hold hands when its just the two of them or (rarely) when gwen is around, partially bc of bens fame and his own hangups about liking men and partially bc when they are romantic they r extremely vulnerable with each other and thats the sort of thing they wouldnt want anyone else to see.

-(quoting from a discord dm w my friend) ben and kevin violence is something that if u saw it in a painting or a movie it would be rly profound and aweinspiring. in real life its also the same, but it feels so much like intruding when ur actually watchingbc kevin and ben have all their emotions about each other in v short bursts, theyll bottle them up 4 an extended period of time and then have som e massive cataclysmic event when it bubbles to the surface. there r literally no continual emotional moments between them like kevin and gwen who have contunious small emotions abt each other, kevin and ben will hang out 4 months at a time and then one day just start hitting each other, which is in a way a part of the romance

-in omniverse theres a scene where its shown that 12 year old kevin is in possession of a photo of ben that is suspiciously well worn, it has rips and stains and has been crumpled up and refolded a couple times. I like to think he kept that photo, whether to use as a beacon of hate or chew on and cry who knows. 

-ben and kevin dont give a shit about what form the other takes, the only time ben has ever blushed about a guy is when mutant kevin grabbed him in the rooters arc and kevin is around alien versions of ben every day and doesnt bat an eye. This is why i think that once kevin and ben get together kevin makes a game about kissing all of his aliens (indiscriminatley. Even if they dont have mouths) he makes a scoring system and writes reviews on how good the experience was in glitter gel pen and makes a ranking list of his favorites. Stinkfly sweeps the vote, shocking everybody. Ben would rank kissing kevins mutations but only 2 out of 5 would even consider it before turning him into pink mist so he just sticks with what he knows.

- ben and kevin get married when theyre older and gwen stays in girlfriend status (mostly bc she knows that ben has a much shorter lifespan than her and kevin and she wants to give him the happiest time she can while hes still there) and they all live in a mansion the size of the white house. Kai comes by once a month to keep kenny happy (he still thinks shes his bio mom even after theyve told him multiple times she was just a donor. Gwen says he gets his delusions from ben). Ben and kevin like to sit on the 500 foot long porch and throw rocks at passerby and snuggle. Kevin is so happy he giggles mindlessly to himself in public, scaring strangers. He tries to get them to look at pictures of his family but this only further creeps them out.

-kevin finds the most random shit ben does extremely charming. hed look at him picking his boogers and eating them and he thinks in his head i need this guy so much. ben finishes a rubix cube not even very fast and kevins like wow. cool. do you like emos.ben is charmed by kevin in the same way. he sees kevin use the toilet brush to scratch an itch on his back and hes like fuck oh fuck oh fuck

I have more i prommy i just cant think of them rn, i will make more if im able. 4 now please have my collection of bevin screenshots under the cut. Spread the word my disciples. fair warning there are a lot

#ben 10 #ben tennyson #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 alien force #kevin levin #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 classic #ben 10 uaf #ben ten #bevin #ben 10 headcannon

[sojutrait]

( @itsmariejanel ) THE WAY ITS BEEN SO LONG IDEK WHAT THIS IS ABOUT but whatever it is IM INNOCENT I SWEAR

no literally, the thought of random ppl having my babies send me in a cold shiver, thats why all my sim dump sims are randos that im not attached to jdkdfjk 

( @lake-lunvik ) SHE HAS A GIANT GASH ON HER FACE AND THE EARTH’S ATMOSPHERE IS TOXIC, SHE’S ON HER LAST LEGS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY I FEAR-

i think its a bit diff than my og style (mostly the sims are actually good looking now djfhdjkf) but yeah! reject modernity embrace tradition kdfjd 

( @aomi-nabi ) AAAAAAAAA i swear ur asks make my whole day I HOPE YOURE DOING AMAZING TOO MWAHHHH 😭😭💓💓💓💓

KDJKDDKFJ dw i accept that compliment alot bc its a STRUGGLE making this game look playable sometimes i swear-

after the stds and fights i dont think thats a viable solution at the moment KJDFK 😭😭😭

its just a tag that i use to redirect to on my actual blog so u can see my posts and not shit posts, asks, or rbs

yeah she is!!

yup! his roomie is dove

STOPDFKJDJFKFKD both are taking upwards to a year- 

( @aurore95 @hadesdyke ) I LOVE HOW U BOTH SENT THIS IM CRYINDHGFJD thank u sm, now im gonna make it my life mission to find this shirt and buy it

autumn is het so i dont think thats a possibility 💔but they should def pull a john tucker must die  

thank u sm!!!

thank u sm for asking!! im doing great just ungodly levels of busy 😭😭

TYYYY literally all my sims have rue hairs atp, she cant keep getting away with it 

DKJCKD ive never seen bobs burgers but this tempts me-

maybeeeeeeee, but it wouldnt have links bc i did that Once and i nearly fell over and died 

( @aomi-nabi ) NO TYYYY going down memory lane was so much fun omg

tbh i forget its even a thing half the time so by the time i remember my sims have like 10k points so i blow them on anything. also lots of mods use the reward trait system so it makes it look like theres more 

( @lake-lunvik ) just for this, im going on hiatus again and never coming back. 

( @pixelpeephole​ ) i dont really have a system tbh, i just kinda periodically go around and check if anyones gotten married or had any babies lmao. also checking recent neighborhood stories helps out bc theyll tell me 

IKK every couple weeks i get a large influx of rbs of it and i just Know it mustve gotten around again 😭😭

NO LITERALLY, hes in the deep abyss of the halabi lore iceberg 

hmmmm probably never on here bc theres a subset of simblr obsessed with me and want my head on a platter who will probably print the pic out and cover it in the blood of a lamb or smthn (but ive face revealed in the among us server dkfjdk) 

SEE ive been hearing about it but i havent started it yet omg, def gonna tune in after house of the dragon wraps up and i need something else to watch djfdk

#asks #anon #itsmariejanel #lake-lunvik #aomi-nabi #aurore95 #hadesdyke #pixelpeephole #anon who wanted natia lore dw ill come back to u i have to consult her pa (seph)

[biolizardboils]

its been 10 days since the movieversary but my CU hyperfixation's still going so heres another one of those Scattered Thoughts posts (minor movie spoilers!)

So i updated the playlist at treehouseblogsinc this week! Idek if Wikplayer still works for most people, but this streak’s five years long and i aint quittin yet! (Usually i just replace song links when they break, but this time i removed a song too cus the guy it references has been Bitch lately)

Speaking of, i did my semi-annual reread of the whole blog too and... man :’’’) Its still mind-blowing how many people played along (and got pissed at Melvin when he took over lmaooo). All the silly, sweet, and angry asks i got there still warm my heart to this day

You know what else i still do to this day? Draw things Pilkey-style! Sometimes i try to follow a rigid anatomy when i draw and feel stuck when it doesnt look right. When that happens, i step back and make a quick Pilk-ish sketch as a reminder to keep things loose. Works every time :)

Something i still love about the movie and the months leading up to it is how much of it felt like a grand... I dont wanna say joke, cus that kinda implies they didnt care when its obvious they truly did. Lets go with prank — it all felt like a grand prank! Like the decisions they made worked in the end, but were also super funny to read and hear about. Like oh my god, they rented Abbey Road Studios to record a choir playing kazoos and singing the word “underpants!” They got the biggest up-and-coming horror director to voice white-ass Melvin Sneedly. (Tho i guess now it can be argued that he’s white-passing in movie!verse, so thats cool)

My fave example of this is how they got Lil Yachty for the album. On one hand, whatever chunk of the limited budget they spent to get him probably could’ve been put to better use, like actually animating the Turbo Toilet fight or something? (While moving the Flip-O-Rama to another scene of course.) On the other hand, its hilarious that they got him to rap the word “cool” 15 times to a cover of Oh Yeah, and then didnt even put it in the movie. Its like George and Harold themselves wrote the stupidest lyrics possible just to see if he’d agree to them, and he did?? Thats comedy gold???

Why didnt i bookmark all the production stuff posted to Instagram. There was so much cool stuff i wanna see again but the search function there is still garbage and uuuughh

So i dont remember if it was production art or fanart but theres this one Instagram post i saw once thats lived in my head ever since. it looked like the cover of Action Comics #1, but with Captain carrying a school bus. If by some miracle somebody has it saved, please send it to me ill be forever in your debt

Im still scared of getting what’s coming to me when the Dog Man movie drops, but now im also wondering if theyll still have George and Harold as a framing device. Ngl i havent caught up with the new books in a hot minute, but ive heard that the boys have stopped appearing in them? if that’s true, that’s Dav’s choice and i have to respect that. ....but also i really wanna see them in CG again. pretty please dreamworks, i miss my sons so much

It mustve been a while since i last watched the movie, cus when i did on the 2nd, the Origin Issue sequence like... broke me all over again. i wrote about why its so great once for a thing that never got made actually, lemme dig that up and paste it in here

The score begins with chiptune and kazoos, two common motifs for childhood whimsy, and already a great fit for this sequence’s simple, handdrawn look. 

But it doesn’t stop there! It goes from what sounds like just two or three people playing kazoos… to a whole chorus of them… which gives way to a full-fledged orchestra. It’s as dramatic a transition as… oh, say, a one-man children’s book to an animated movie by one of the top studios in the industry.

And in turn, as the comic continues, we’re brought closer and closer to the panels until the white gutter between them vanishes, and they engulf the screen. The medium through which this story’s being told has faded from awareness; all that exists now is the story itself. 

But just as suddenly, we’re brought back to our true surroundings. The orchestral music ends, the chiptune returns for one last gentle sting, and we remember this epic tale’s humble origins: a comic book, written and drawn by two 4th graders. *sniff*

Another Score thing i love: you know how Captain is one big Superman parody? I think Shapiro mightve had that in mind when he composed his theme tune, because it starts with a triumphant first three notes (the “Underpaaaaants” part) — just like some of Superman’s! I dont know the right musical terms but cmon, theres a pattern there! And its so touching that they found Captain worthy of a song of that caliber!! Like yes, he IS a true superhero!! heres the epic theme song to prove it!!

Oh wow okay. So to dig up that Writing Thing, i had to open some folders i havent touched in years. And there were outlines for 10 different fanfics in there. I remember not really meaning to finish them ever, just writing them down cus the ideas wouldnt leave me alone. Hell i still dont have time to finish them now

But. Man now i feel bad for never doing anything with them. I have half a mind to post the outlines at least?? Cus someone out there might get a kick out of them?? You know what, if this hyperfixation doesnt peter out in another few days ill probably do it

Speaking of things i havent looked at in years, i listened to this song while typing all this and im tearing up now send post

#captain underpants the first epic movie #captain underpants: the first epic movie #captain underpants movie #dav pilkey #cu fandom #me talking #long #capitalizing sentences for once cus wow even i cant read half of this and i wrote it #cu movie #captain underpants #cu

[self-h-rmageddon]

i used to be able to just like. yap for eternity like, it was my favorite thing ever!!

just go somewhere and TALK talk alone, talk for no one, talk til i had nothing to say anymore but recently ive noticed it makes me feel.. worse? like. i was supposed to just JERK OFF AND GO TO BED like . at 9 pm last night 💀 and i stayed up til like 3 am, ive just been talkin and i watched a movie, that was nice.. i miss it? something inside of me is really really sad right now and i cant quite figure out why. its like a weird puzzle, trying to navigate my brain cuz like i KNOW something wrong, but what? whats bothering me? idont understand. maybe im scared of annoying people again, but.. was i scared of that before too? i dont remember if i was or not. what do i even miss? i dont know, i miss? i dont know what i miss. i miss something, probably

maybe thats whats bothering me, i feel like ive lost something, do i feel like ive lost the ability to be comfortable just.. talking ? maybe a little.. some people followed me after i posted my spamton art and anytime that sort of thing happens, i always feel . i feel so horribly guilty!!! youve followed me for that, not to hear me chatter endlessly about whatever comes to my mind. i know i shouldnt care, but im just scared of annoying people, cuz i really do love to talk!!! i love talking about things i like, but.. something is holding me back? it feels like it, i dont know why. i think its just mental barriers. i was so up front and proud of how much i love spamton g spamton, how much i love A LOT of characters. then i made friends and i felt ashamed and embarrassed. is that all it takes? once you have a set of eyes on you that matters, you fold? i feel like that about a lot of things, maybe thats one of the reasons ive been quieter than im used to being

i think im scared, i think it scares me to imagine ever saying anything and having them be like. "eugh." like?? death id prefer death. without them even asking for it ive just kinda cut bits and pieces off to save myself from POTENTIAL rejection, the. i just want to be someone that is adored, as selfish as it is, of course ill change to get that

i think it sorta.. i . its hard to explain, but loving people when you have bpd feels like you will never ever be loved equally, because i have endless devotion and admiration, theres hardly a single thing i dont love about the people i care about, to the point where its a fault. ive let people get away with terrible things, just cuz i loved them so much i didnt care what happened to me. and sometimes it hurts real bad when i remember that the way i love isnt normal, no one could ever love me like that. its why im on edge, the fear of saying something wrong, the fear of cracking this image. they like me, dont they? what if i say something wrong and for even a small second they like me just a little bit less? it makes me chest hurt just thinking about it, its terrifying. if they like me less for a second, maybe.. the rose tinted glasses will shatter, maybe theyll realize im not all that great, maybe itll be over, gone, DONE. finished, ended . dead. i dont want that, its logical to do everything i can to avoid that right?

terrible fate, thats how i see it. the end of all things. worst possible thing to ever happen to me. id rather relive all my trauma over again than lose anyone, id rather anything else. the way i feel is extreme, but. im known for that i guess 💀 its fear, im scared. scared, what if im annoying? i get afraid of annoying STRANGERS, of course im terrified to annoy my best friends. annoying, maybe when im talking to myself about shit they dont care about, its just filler words. garbage, static , words from my mouth and it means nothing to them. isnt that thought so scary? it is to me, i hang on to every word, every stupid joke, every laugh and .

what do i feel now? im working myself up over something that hasnt even happened. ive upset myself over the IDEA of a problem, the thought that maybe something might be wrong. whatever. i think i have this intense loathing for myself, thats the thing?

with bpd, you split. yr thinking isnt clear, its black and white. painful, so painful, but.. im not some mindless monster that just lashes out. thats terrifying, id have no one if i did that right? so i split on myself instead, all that anger and pain is directed at me from inside, it rips me apart. suddenly i can see every flaw, every annoying thing ive ever done every awkward sentence, every joke that didnt land. every opportunity, every single thing that could take it all away from me. as innocent as they are it seems like genuinely theres these big ugly lacerations on my body every time i feel like im possibly maybe not being as charming as id hope to be, ugly scars that ward people off, my blood gets everywhere and it grosses them out, they scoot away an inch for every cut. i know its not true.. i make friends with good people!! the best people, it just.. its what im scared of, which in my eyes means that its true because if im scared of it, there msut be a reason why im scared ofit? it must be actively happening! every rejection of my being is a step closer to abandonment, i g

ive been doing really good, i think. im not so scared of being abandoned because ive been reassured over and over again and i dont have the heart to think past all that work thats been done for me. ive hardly thought about it, anytime i get scared i just remember the things that have been said to me, how secure my place is here. its true, surely.. but this fear is natural for me. its 2nd nature, this fear puts actions in motion to prevent abandonment. fear keeps me safe, keeps me in that little box i think people want me in. the little box that says im okay! im a good person, every aspect of me they can see in the box is enjoyable, who cares if i feel like i need to cut some pieces off to fit there?

i know in my heart its not what they want. im moving too fast, im bracing again. i just get scared, maybe im just needy. what, i need eyes on me? need to feel seen and appreciated with everything i do? if nothing else, at least THAT is 100% selfish, ive been doing better recently... but sometimes its hard not to fall back on those instincts

#this is so long guhh #just. need it off my chest so i can forget about it already #if i forget it wont hurt me until the next time i remember

[sunflowersnpearls]

Husbands' words are not matching actions and vice versa. Hes been "venting" to "me" in front of our oldest (turning 16 may 10) on our "current" marriage?....problem(s).

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut and one time he asked me to play a song so I for one am so plugged up i cant really hear much, sometimes even music is too loud (sensory processing disorder) and I guess i didnt even hear him say something and the child caught on to what was happening and said "you're ignoring dad again"

So i spoke to her instead of him since she said it, & I said "I didnt ignore him. I didnt hear him. I was hyper focused on the song he requested me to play."

And then he went on just one of many other rants in front of her, asking "you dont think I ever hyper focus on anything? When Im home on my days off, I feel like im your servant" All day anytime I asked for help, to him I was demanding it and not appreciating stuff he did and then he would not stop talking about every single thing he did today around the house and for our children and its like.... ok cool.

And people get paid to do what i do here at home, every single day all day long. Didn't say it would be easy, however I did ask for help. He tried to say he understands im frustrated bcuz im home all day and i guess i interrupted and was rude bcuz i said "Its not THAT, at all" (cuz its...not?) Lastly i stumbled upon his fave song & started playing it & asked him to plz get me my night meds bcuz I am so fucking cold to the touch, esp to others. And moving makes it hurt.:// He said "You can just not play the song now. Thanks." So uhh.. Like all I am learning here is 1) I need to stop asking him to help me w/ literally anything and like he has said in the past which I clearly shouldve listened to: "If you (*me doing this: "cough" "cough") WANT something RIGHT NOW!, I'll have to get up and get it myself or wait until I he is ready to do it." And 2) I've been right all along. I cant count on even my own Husband so like uhh.... okay. And Now to him, I'm just a burden. Let alone ya know, i guess having influenza and not doing shit around the house "today" (literally just today, and actually, i still did some stuff which is better than none lol) and hes acting like he deserves a fucking gold medal. For what? Being a husband a father and taking responsibility of everything whilst your wife is ill? K. Never asking you for shit now. Ill send lists to him at work if the house needs anything. He hasnt had sex from me in a month because for the past 2 months steady, I have been sick with an upper respiratory virus affecting my asthma and everything else and now this so uhh, my bad. Next time I'll just faint (again) & hit my head probably (again) and then maybe, theyll see that hes just gonna send me by myself and come pick me up when Im done being in there because he has to sleep for work tomorrow. Not to ya know, dare mention that if the bulging disc in my spine "RUPTURES", all signs & symptoms of paralysis will hit fast & clearly that would become a huge Emergency Situation... So I was "told to do it anyway" by him even after explaining the deck was covered in thick broken shattered ice chunks and with my slip on shoes that are the only shoes i can wear, I told him "I'm not doing that" and now it's my fault it was left outside until when he came home (3 1/2 hours before home). I feel as if my health is a major burden to him and maybe its time for me to get an inhome nurse... Some people just arent built to take care of anyone else. And maybe idk, maybe he is starting to see that I a really honestly, not in love with him at this point anymore. Maybe tomorrow or next month or next whatever, or maybe never will I be back in love with him.It seemed to me like the exact day that he was hired on as a manager at his workplace, things shifted. He dropped a huge bomb on me. I had to then last night, inform my family that I'm doing gene testing to see if i am a carrier of a breast cancer gene for reasons. They're also testing for thyroid & ovarian seeing as those run heavily. My chances before gene testing was uncomfortable to talk to our 3 kids about but they were as accepting as they can be, as their Mother my main priority should be my health so that Incan get better so that I can continue to do what I freaking LOVE DOING SO MUCH!!!!!! Like I truly do so why continually, continually say outloud in front of the 3 kids that "well I've done all of this and all of this because you asked for help" and it all started over me asking him if he can take lily her cup of water since shes coughing so badly. My flu/asthma/sinus shit is awful and my heart problem make it hard for me to walk sometimes let alone climb stairs.... He's acting like he deserves a gold medal when im always keeping the house up and im not doing that. What im doing is showing him what all i have to do during the day, some updates on what i dod and whatever else i wanna send.

I told him that its unfair to us completely that he doesnt turn off "Manager" when he walks through the door. He had a conversation to me and said hes not gonna be able to shut that off when he comes home and he has to take on so much responsibilities and he feels like he needs to be inside the house alone without myself or the kids or the pets for like half a year to get his straight. Bruh. Like no. Just do better. Idk how many people told me that Id never do this and id never do that and here i am proving them wrong every single day.

But every time he speaks to me like this, I am taken back to a time where I was told "your mother never should've made you." At i think 4-5 years old? I am disabled for many reasons. And I can tell everyone all the time until I'm fucking blue in my own face that, when I say that I cant do something and I ask for help, the help is met with a "your legs work" or "you're capable. You just dont wanna wait" No duh. Thats why i said "now please". Would you rather I give you another reason to hit me 3x flat-cupped handed times on my face again and say that "If I wanted it right now and could have gotten it right now for myself"

Im tired of asking for help and being treated like nothing other than a burden and his biggest fucking problem. How was I supposed to know that I was going to this sick on your 2 days off and that every time I asked for anything, you were upset.

I guess i was right and I'm just a different person now because of trauma processing and healing. But being sick enough to make 4 separate appointments during the 2 month span and if this gets worse, this one too. So I feel like he wants me to say something to him or do something for him, but all Im getting from this is "do not ask me for anything". Isnt your spouse supposed to be the one taking care of you when youre sick? Hes already lost me emotionally. And right before our ten year wedding annivarsary. Cool.

Advice?

[kass-storycorner]

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

#genshin x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #ajax x reader #gn!reader #reader fic #genshin impact #genshin fic #fan fiction #angst #angst prompt #bit of comfort #hurt #hurt prompt #writing

[bussypadussy]

Please tell us about your horrible dream

So glad you asked.

I am 5-6 year old (im rarely ever myself in my dreams, damn near never btw) and im with my grandma, dad and brother at this..... office? Like a hospital waiting room but theres a couple short lines of the old, huge computer monitors running windows xp. Its my appointment, so i get to log myself in on the computer. There’s a really heavy feeling im being watched by everyone bc theyre monitoring my every move and it was really unsettling but i didnt pay any mind to it in the dream.

Its so weirdly familiar like ive really been there. Everything is in fun, childish colors. We entered into this buildings waiting/reception area. I couldnt call it a waiting “room” bc everythjng behind the desk youre waiting for is just through a entryway. There arent doors to separate places, just have to go around a corner or straight ahead past an arch opening.The only thing purposefully dividing things is a 4 foot kiddie gate.

Its my turn though. I get to go through whatever is around the walls behind the desk. My grandma will be coming with me to make sure i dont get lost or trip or whatever stupid little kids do. We go to a little kid library section first. Again, theres no one else there and the only sound is from small tvs are there playing what i could guess was dragon tales. I am not allowed to sit and watch dragon tales.

We pasted through other spots but what really matters out of everything there was the *hologram room*. This room does seem closed of and inaccessible where all the other spots were just a hallway away. So much so that i actually dont seen an exit, not even the way that i came in when i turned around. My grandma was gone suddenly and all that was in front of me was seemingly endless hills of soft grass. A really beautiful prairie with soft wind and the sky was clear. I forgot about how i got here or where i was but i didnt even think care.

Then theres a BIG dog, I mean a HUGE dog running to me coming over the horizon. Two stories tall and such a handsome golden lab. My heart melted and I realized it was Biscuit (a toy from my childhood in real life. Its strange to think how much well the love i felt for the dog in real life was recreated into my dream). Anyways, but nows he’s enormous, and hes moving all on his own! Hes so excited to see me and so am i. Im crying and heaving painfully hard from how happy i am to see him again. I dont know what happened to him irl or where he went.

We run to each other and all i can remember now is just crying crying cryin harder and harder. Im telling the dog how much ive missed him and how lonely it is without him, how bad i need him to stay with me. Hes giving such a look of understanding its on pare with human reaction. Biscuit can hear me and he is understanding what im saying just like everybody else he just cant talk.

Hours must have gone by and now i sit under a tree in these hills on a tartan blanket with Biscuit and well kept antique dolls ive always admired like at thrift stores. All i could feel was total ease and shear bliss in happiness. But a hole opened up and i had to leave. I HAD to go through it and i wasnt even told where it was gonna go, but i had to. I didnt even want to. Biscuit and all the dolls are cry and sobbing how theyll never see me again if i go and i get such a pain like im being stabbed. Once i do step through all i have is this feeling of falling. Not like how in dreams when it feels like you tripped off a curb, this was lasting for a few minutes.

I landed in a dark room. Must have been painted black walls bc its infinitely dark except some bright stage lights coming from all different directions. The walls are too dark to consider how far things go on in front of me and the lights are too strong i cant get a sense of whats close to me. But there's something in there with me. I think it was whatever was watching me before in the room with the computers. The "doctors" I think now that Im remembering.

Then Im 16. Im back at home. Its like i was just having nostalgia but the memory is just too fuzzy to where im not sure if it was real. But i know i was grounded now and i was safe and everything was back. It was just a weird thiught in the back of my head. Im going to the table to eat. Still thinking about what a weird experience.

Somehow the name of the "hospital" comes up in conversation and i learn it was all real. It all really happened to me and the place was real, all of it. I did experience ungodly realistic holograms and i did have that chance of staying with Biscuit and the dolls in total nirvana. IT WAS NOT SOMETHING I MADE UP.

Thats when I woke up for real.

#long post

[male2mutt]

never gonna explain why you hate detrans people huh

i hate that anyone would use their journey of self discovery to campaign against a marginalized demographic. cis people who detransition dont bother me. in fact, i encourage it. you do something like explore your gender presentation, names pronouns, you try and figure out who you are and at the end of it, if you feel confident with who you are, it doesnt matter if youre trans or not. i dont give a shit. what i give a shit about is that there is a smaller group there, a group of people who refuse to admit that they got it wrong. that they went around and told everyone who they wanted to be and thought, yknow, actually, but couldnt fess up to the idea that they just changed their mind. theyre ashamed. its fear. its fear, maybe, that theyll have to experience being trans in a weird twice-over way. that going through a second transition might be just as hard as the first one. but see, they dont want to admit all that. instead, they pick the easy option. they get angry. they get angry at anyone who supported their original decision to transition. they push away at family, friends, their community, because if they were wrong, then all of those people shouldve known, right? they shouldve pushed back harder? they shouldve told them everything that they want to hear now and didnt hear then because they all loved and supported them too much to be transphobic. they take all that support and they channel it into anger, anger at the people who got it right. who transitioned and dont regret it. the people who represent the confidence that they dont have. they start to look elsewhere, to any crowd of people who are against trans ppl, against transition. and sometimes they find terfs. more ppl who found a way to sharpen the sticks of their confusion and insecurity against a minority. anger is intoxicating. it feels good to be angry, that rush of adrenaline and power you get when you hate. so they turn against trans people. they think, well, i was wrong, they must all be wrong! if theyre lying to me, they lie to themselves, what else do they lie about? can they be trusted? are they unsafe? oh, think of the children! of the poor defenseless women! oh, the humanity! and then they go on interviews. they tell cis people were coercive. we lie. we hurt children. we scar innocents. we manipulate, abuse, attack. they fuel a reactionary movement of conservative fearmongering that influences legislation. they convince the state we shouldnt be trusted. that we shouldnt transition. that if we come out to our classmates, our teacher must call home and tell our parents. but who cares that when we come home, our parents beat us? kick us out on the street? who cares? at least it feels good to be angry instead of insecure.

now get the fuck off my blog and leave me alone

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

#jdate #john dies at the end #aus #erh. tthe hell do i tag this as #rambles.txt #long post #well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something #send an ask. or whatever #yaknow #:jazz hands:

[peachiikawa]

Fly | Route Selected: S. Daichi

a/n: thank you all for being so patient with me. finally, here is the long awaited daichi route. hope you all enjoy!

genre: mafia au

warnings: blood, reader getting hurt, guns, violence

word count: 2.3k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose you”

Your eyes locked with daichi

And daichi stared into yours trying to figure you out

“Are you sure?”

You nodded your head and held your ground

“Im sure”

He felt his eyes soften for a moment at the determination in your eyes before hardening again

“Fine. Everyone else, go home. Youre with me then. Lets go”

Daichi called for a car and drove you home

The silence between the two of you was only filled with the soft sound of a piano playing on the radio

The ride was finally over after about twenty minutes

“I’ll come get you tomorrow morning. Youll be working as an intern now so dress accordingly”

With that he left and you felt like you could breathe again

Just what had you gotten yourself into?

As he said he was at your house in the morning in a car that looked just a tad too expensive

You gulped before taking your first step towards him

“Good morning, Daichi”

He just nodded at you as you got into the car

The drive was once again silent

You looked over at the man behind the wheel and noticed how...formal he looked

Suit, straight back, both hands on the wheel

You felt yourself naturally adjusting yourself to mirror his mannerisms

He stole some glances at you without you noticing and felt his eyes soften upon seeing how nervous you looked

As soon as you stepped into the building you could feel the professional atmosphere

The endless windows and white walls gave off a chilling feeling

You only came back to reality when Daichi gently nudged your back

“I dont have all day. Hurry up and move”

The harshness of his words were the opposite of his touch but they still hurt nonetheless

You nodded your head and kept walking, trying to keep up with his quick stride

You followed him into an office as he took a seat behind the wooden desk

“This will be brief so don’t feel the need to sit”

Your eyes followed his every move as he organized his desk that was already pretty organized with stacks of papers

Daichi went on about your duties here but you honestly werent listening

You were a bit overwhelmed from the unfamiliar building you were in that you forgot about the man in front of you

Up until your eyes landed on the nameplate that sat on his desk

Sawamura Daichi, CEO

Without even knowing it, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion

Just who did you get yourself involved with?

Daichi finally noticed that his conversation with you wasnt going anywhere

“Hey. Are you even listening to me?”

You snapped out of it and shook your head

“Im listening!”

He just sighed and repeated everything he just said again

“Whatever. Just listen because this will be the last time i say this. Youll be working here at Sawamura Inc from now on as an intern. Your fellow interns are Hinata and Kageyama so feel free to ask them questions if you have any. You can leave now. I’ll come get you at the end of the day”

You nodded your head and started your day

Kageyama helped you the most in learning the ropes, you didnt see much of hinata. it was almost as if he was avoiding you

“Ok...so these files go here?”

He nodded his head

“Yeah i think you got it down now. If you need me ill be organizing some things for suga”

The rest of the day went on slowly until finally seven oclock hit

You could hear the faint sound of footsteps approaching you

“Lets go”

Daichi wasted no time in leaving

You quickly put down the rest of the papers you needed to organize and followed him out

The next couple weeks were like clockwork

Almost exactly the same as the day before

And no matter how hard you tried to get to know the man who took you to and from work he wouldnt budge

The only thing you ever got out of him were short replies and head nods

Did he really not like you that much?

But something you noticed every morning and every evening was the light sound of a piano playing from the radio

“Do you like the piano daichi?”

You werent even sure youd get an answer out of him

But he must if he listened to it everyday

You saw his hands lightly grip the steering wheel tighter before loosening, a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips

Your eyes widened when you saw it

In your two weeks together...youd never seen him give a look like this

Like he...enjoyed life

Like he was happy

“Yeah...its okay”

But just as fast as it appeared on his face, it quickly disappeared

Who knew that the stoic man next to you could make expressions like that

Almost made your heart race

“Do you play?”

Silence fell upon the both of you before you heard him let out a sigh

“No”

And now we’re back to stage one when you finally though you were getting more than one word answers

What could you do to make him see you?

This question played in your head as you filed away some papers for Asahi with Hinata

It was the first time youd done something with him but from what youve seen kageyama just calls him an idiot all the time and hits him

Also from what youve heard hinatas been with the sawamuras for a while so maybe he has some insight

“Hey hinata, can i ask you a question?”

He kept quiet so you took that as permission

“Do you know why daichi likes listening to the piano so much?”

That caused him to stop

“If he hasnt told you then dont ask me”

Youd be lying if you said that didnt make you more intrigued so naturally you did some digging

And eventually you stumbled upon an article from no more than five years ago

It told the tale of a young piano prodigy that had chosen to study music at the university of music and performing arts in vienna

And that piano prodigy was the now the distant leader of the Karasuno Mafia

You wonder what happened to him, what the story was behind his change in career path

The next day you decided that if you wanted to learn more about him then asking the questions would help

“Good afternoon daichi!”

You smiled at him as you delivered some paperwork to him

“Morning…”

You set the small stack down on his desk in front of him

“These are the papers for the closing on the Inarizaki deal”

He picked them up and quickly skimmed it

“Okay, thank you. You may go now”

When you didnt move he looked back up

“Do you have something else for me?”

He saw the way you fidgeted with the tips of your fingers and his eyes softened for just a moment

“Would you like to have lunch with me?”

He knew that he should say no

That he shouldnt let you in

“Sure”

How harmful could one lunch possibly be

Little did daichi know he was about to be interrogated

“--no i dont know who my favorite superhero is”

This was probably the tenth question youve asked and he wished you would stop

But he didnt know how to tell you no

Not when you were asking genuine questions

He thought it was kind of nice to be talking to someone normal again

Not someone who was involved with the mafia

But someone who was just...ordinary

“Ok ok..one last question”

He smiled softly

You felt your breath hitch after him showing you that gentle smile

“Go ahead”

The way you talked to him with no filter was refreshing

So he wasnt expecting the next question really at all

“I came across an article the other day about this boy who loved playing the piano,”

Daichis heart almost stopped

“Why did you stop playing daichi?”

‘Because my father made me’

He clenched his fist, crumpling the napkin inside of it

“I just got bored of it”

His reply came out through gritted teeth and you knew he was lying

You gently laid your hand on top of his until you felt it relaxing under you

“Well, no matter the reason, I hope that someday ill be lucky enough to hear you play”

His heart melted

The thought of playing again is something hes always wanted

But his father wouldnt let him

And left a permanent reminder on him about it

“That probably wont ever happen so dont get your hopes up. Let’s get back to the office, lunch is over”

And just like that he was back to being cold towards you just when you thought you were making progress

A couple weeks go by and it seems like daichis pushed you out of his life all over again

So much so that suga was the one giving you assignments from daichi where daichi used to just tell you himself

“Hey, hinata, kageyama and y/n! Daichi wants you guys to go make some copies from the store around the corner. Printer is jammed here and we need to get those documents ASAP”

You all nodded your heads and headed out

You were really too caught up in your own thoughts to be thinking about your surroundings

Had you really crossed a line that day?

You just wanted to figure out the real daichi

Because to you, the real daichi had his walls up 24/7 but behind those walls was a gentle smile and just a guy who wanted nothing more than to just live a normal life

So you didnt notice when hinata and kageyama stopped causing you to run into their backs

“Why did you guys-”

Hinata held a protective arm out in front of you

“What are you doing here, mad dog?”

The boy you assumed was ‘mad dog’ pushed himself off of wall he was leaning against

“Boss wanted me to fetch something”

His eyes locked onto your form

“And im here to collect”

This sent chills down your back

What was he going to do for you?

Who was his boss?

Your mind was running a mile a minute

“y/n you need to run”

Hinata’s voice brought you back to reality

“What?”

Hinata’s eyes never left the man in front of him

“Kageyama and i will take care of him. You need to get back to the office. Now!”

You sprinted as soon as hinata yelled for you to leave

‘Theyll be alright, right? They handle stuff like this all the time’

But you came to an abrupt halt at the sound of a gun going off

‘Fuck my life’

You turned back around help in any way you could

Only to come upon an unconscious kageyama and bleeding hinata

“You fucking idiot! Whyd you come back?!”

Meanwhile mad dog approached you and placed his hand under your chin

“You just made my job a whole lot easier”

Before you could even scream a piece of cloth was placed over your mouth and your vision went black

“Give your boss a message for me, carrot top. Tell him that if he wants his intern back he has to come get them himself”

Hinata gritted his teeth before passing out himself

Suga found them not too long after that

And after hinata told daichi what had happened...he was livid

He was supposed to protect you

To make sure that you stayed safe

And he was too weak to do it

Too afraid of what his father would have done if he found out that he was fond of a random person they picked up from the streets that had no ties to them

Afraid of what his father would have done to you

He clenched his jaw and let out a grunt as he punched the wall next to him

But fuck that

He knew that in this moment he needed to get you back right now

The thought of you being injured due to his own incompetence scared him more than what his father might ever do to him

So he was off

“When will they wake up?”

“Theyve been out forever”

“Dude its only been like three hours of course theyre still out”

The voices around you became clear as you regained consciousness

“Oh~ looks like theyre finally awake”

“Yeah probably because you wouldnt shut up”

Standing in front of you was a group of men you had only seen in brief pictures from the reports you made for daichi

‘Seijoh’

From what you remember their boss is a major flirt and his right hand man keeps him humble

Mad dog was sitting off in the corner next to a brown haired man who just kept staring at you…’creepy’

You flinched as the one you recognized as their boss reached a hand out towards you

“Aww dont be scared! I promise i wont hurt you”

He bent down to your level with a hand on your shoulder and leaned in to the point that his breath tickled your ear

“Though im not too sure that some of the others here wont. So be good for me, okay y/n?”

You were scared out of your mind

But you were not going to let this guy get into your head

So you did what any reasonable person would do

You pulled your head back and headbutted him in the forehead

He stumbled back a bit

“Stay the fuck away from me”

Oikawa held his head and gave you a nasty glare

“Iwa take care of them”

Everyone filed out till it was just you and the spiky hair man in front of you

“Nothing against you, just doing what the boss said. Plus you could have just laid low but you had to provoke him”

Daichi wasted no time in getting to seijohs building

And as soon as oikawa heard he was in the building he sent for him

“Welcome daichi! What an unexpected surprise!”

Daichi always hated the sound of oikawas jovial voice

How fake it sounded

“Just give me y/n back”

Oikawa just shook his head 

“Never were a fan of small talk were you daichi? Okay, since youre just dying to see them ill bring them in now”

Daichi turned around and reeled at what he saw

Bruised and battered as you were set down onto the ground

“You fucking bastard”

Daichi clenched his jaw

He was at a loss of words for the sight in front of him

But he knew he had to get you out of here

So he scooped you up into his arms and headed for the door

But before leaving he stopped and spoke into his earpiece

“Get them”

And with that he left as a war ensued between the two gangs

Beep beep

The sound of your heart monitor brought you back to the land of the living

And next to you was a passed out daichi

You slowly felt around your bed before hitting the call button for your nurse

And as soon as you did daichi jumped up from his seat at the sound of footsteps approaching

You reached out and put your hand on his to get his attention and smiled at him

He sat back down and let the nurses tend to you, his gaze never leaving your body

“You should be able to leave within the next day or two. Rest up mx. l/n”

The nurse then left your room and left the two of you alone

You locked eyes with him before looking down at his hand and seeing how discolored it was

He noticed your eyes widen and tried to hide his hand once he realized what you were looking at

“Daichi! You need to take better care of yourself!”

You sat up from your bed and called a nurse to get a basic first aid kit

“Im fine y/n. You need to rest”

“Like hell youre fine! Daichi your hand is hurt. Please just let me fix it for you”

But before you could apply the bandages you hand your hand in his

“It cant be fixed y/n. This hand doesnt feel anything”

You looked up at him with confused eyes

“Its the reason i dont play anymore. My father crushed it a few years back so i wouldnt even think about playing. Said it was time i stopped playing with useless things”

The grip on your hand tightened a bit before slowly loosening

But you just gently squeezed it

“Well, even if your hand is ‘useless’ id still feel better if youd let me wrap it. Your hand is still a part of you and it can still bring so much joy into your life as well as those around you. You just have to have the courage to seize what you want.”

‘The courage to seize what I want’

Your words played out in his head over and over again

He made a promise to himself that day

That one day, you two would be happily together

No matter how hard this path may be

He was going to seize his happiness

Tag List:

@the-ironic-me​ @multisun​ @my-mass-hysteria​ @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy​ @celamoon​ @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs​ @tsukifanbase​ @69owo​ @laglyssage​ @hearteyeskags​ @ntngann​ @shnnn​ @fukuro-dani-ace​

#daichi x reader #sawamura x reader #sawamura daichi #sawamura daichi x you #sawamura daichi x reader #daichi hcs #daichi x y/n #haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #daichi sawamura #daichi sawamura x reader #haikyu x reader #tw blood #tw guns #tw violence

[fanfalc-616]

The Rights Of A Nindroid

Chapter Fifteen

(Prevoius Chapter Here)

(Discord Here)

Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-

I’m supposed to be in school rn lol

When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.

The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.

Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.

DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?

Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.

I DIDNT GIVE IN

Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.

HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?

It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.

AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY

Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.

OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE

There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.

IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.

He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

Jay is starting to lose his grip.

Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.

Also he’s been sulking the whole time.

It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.

“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”

Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”

The two immediately snap over to looking at him.

“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”

Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“

Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”

Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”

Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.

Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.

Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.

He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.

But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.

A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!

With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.

“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”

Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.

It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.

“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“

Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”

So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-

They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.

Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“

“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.

“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.

Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.

“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”

Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.

“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”

“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“

Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”

“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.

“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”

At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.

“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.

So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.

Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…

Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”

Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.

“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.

“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”

The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.

“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”

After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”

So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.

It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.

However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.

After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”

“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.

Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.

Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.

Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”

Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”

Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”

“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.

With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”

“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.

Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.

“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.

Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.

“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.

With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”

But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.

Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.

In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.

He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.

That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.

Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.

Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.

#the rights of a nindroid #ninjago zangst #zangst #ninjago fanfiction #psychological torture #torture #trauma

[voidselfshipp]

Meet The Family

Cw: self depriciation, food ment.

Ok to rb.

Summary: the iida family wants to meet the partner of their youngest kid, but said partner is not ready for It.

Song: "just the two of us " Bill withers and grover Washington.

Jerico paced around the room with her hands behind her back, mina stops her grabbing her shoulders-- its gonna be fine!-- adds the student.

--But what if they dont like me?! What if they want him to date someone else?

Uraraka softly pats her Friends back-- dont worry ! Theyll love you! Theyll see that youre a perfect match for their son!

-- but just-- I got nothing to wear! What if they go formal and I just-- jeri sits on her bed clutching a pillow-- what if I have nothing to wear!

They hear a soft knock before anyone can answer-- jerico? Is everything alright in there? Midoriya told me that youre not feeling well..-- said iida.

-- coming!-- she says opening the door peeking her head through it-- tenya...babe..I think we should cancel...-- she says looking away sighing-- I dont think im the right one to meet your family-- she said leaning on the doorframe crossing her arms.

-- whyd you say that jerico? Youre perfect!

--Im not! First of all im from another country!-- she says with tears in her eyes looking away-- im so loud I cant control my volume, I have nothing to wear and to top it all off I dont even get the same grades as you do --She looks at him and sniffs drying her tears with her sleeve-- I think we should call it off

Tenya hugs her tightly and buries his head on her hair-- please dont say that...-- he says with a strained tone-- youre perfect jerico, my family wont care if youre not from here-- he cups her cheek with a flushed face-- youre funny, Smart, youre absolutely beautiful-- he cups her other cheek squishing them-- grades dont define you, you, me or anyone! Grades are just numbers, they are a grading system, but outside? They dont matter-- he adds lowering his hands to her jaw caressing her cheekbones with his thumbs.-- its going to be fine, but I wont accept you talking yourself down--he puts a strand of hair behind her ear-- its okay if youre loud because I love you this way-- he kisses her softly and after some seconds he pulls away-- I wont let my family talk bad about you, in fact they know the best of you!-- he says hapilly-- howd you saved me with stain, howd you won against me in the festival, they see you as I see you, for the amazing woman you are

The silence is short before jerico sobs even harder hugging him-- youre so sweet!

He hugs her tightly with a soft smile, bending down a little-- I wont let anyone be mean to you, theyll deal with me first

She dries off her tears and presses a kiss to his cheek-- thank you

Tenyas cheek turn red, and he fixes his tie, before he says anything his reciproburst goes haywire and he runs past her mumbling nonsense. Making her laugh.

-- anyways... I gotta go now, midnight said shed take me to see some stuff to we-- she turns around to her Friends finding her in tears too.

-- you two are so sweet! -- adds mina.

-- so cute!-- adds uraraka.

Jiro nodds -- so cute!

She chuckled and grabbed her jacket-- gotta go!

As she walks with midnight and recovery girl, who decided to join them to go outfit hunting her teacher softy elbows her-- we'll find you something nice to wear! Youll see!

Jeri scratches the back of her neck knowing what midnight could get up to.

They searched all the stores they could and the dinner was fast approaching.

Jerico is feeling anxious now, recovery girl softly pats her back-- we can try there!-- she points at a suit store.

Midnight nodds-- yes, that could work!

Jeri trusting her teachers judgment follows them.

Iida Is tapping his foot waiting for jerico at the entrance of the UA. He looks around.

--where is she?-- he mutters scratching tbe back of his neck. He was fine with arriving late. His family wouldnt mind.

--Sorry! We couldnt find anything!!-- jerico comes in his field of view, his breath is taken away when he sees her in a suit, her hair tied up.

--oh...-- he mutters and both uraraka and midoriya hold him back, jiro and mina roll up his pants so recirpoburst doesnt rip them.

Jerico giggles and hugs him-- lets go yeah?

Tenya nodds and fixes his pants saying goodbye and getting in the car.

As they drive he hugs her tightly-- you look so beautiful -- he says caressing her arm.

--If I could help you pull out your tubes I can do this!

--Come on it wasnt that hard!

She raises a brow.

[....]

Even though tenya was ready to make such change he was an absolute baby.

--come on ten!-- she said.

--Its gonna hurt jerico!

-- thats why im here, come on

He sighs pulling out the first tube, Before he can scream she sits on his lap and kisses him.

He turns red and hugs her waist with one hand.

-- see? Not that hard!

He starts to giggle meekly-- well..if I get a kiss for each one...ill get twelve kisses

-- let me desinfect that for you

[....]

-- as I was saying, not that hard!-- tenya protested-- besides! ...oh hey we're here

He gets out first and helps her, he takes her hand, and walk into their home.

Taking off their shoes they walk in and are greeted with iidas mom, dad and his brother.

--tensei!--says iida hugging his brother-- I cant Belive youre here!

The ex hero smiles-- I I couldnt pass up the opportunity to meet my brothers partner, hi, im tensei

Jerico nodds-- im jerico, nice to met you tensei-- she bows.

Dinner arrives and as they eat, jerico is struggling with the chopsticks..

She scratches the back of her neck and tenya just hands her a fork and a Knife.

-- th thanks-- she adds embarassed eating her food.

-- dont be embarassed!!-- says tenyas mom-- he told us you arent fully used to chopsticks so we put a set for you!

Tenya also pulls out a fork and a Knife smiling.

Her cheeks turn Pink and she smiles softly eating with a content giggle.

--so-- starts tenyas dad-- our son has told us plenty about you but id rather hear about you from your own mouth

Jerico drinks water and looks at her father in law-- well, im originally from Argentina!, Im the oldest from four kids-- she says-- Im more into art than anything, I also play the guitar, what else would you like to know mr. Iida

Tenyas dad smiles-- well, I can only say that my son scored a winner

Jericos cheek flush red and tenya chokes on his drink blushing red-- dAD!

After dinner jeri helps pick up the table and wash the dishes.

--youre a very lovely girl, but I must ask-- says tenyas mother-- who confessed first?

Sighing in relief that it was only a simple question and not a "whats your intentions with my son" question she giggled-- I did

Tenya flushes even redder than before and grabs jerico walking outside saying --GOODBYE!

his family laughs, and tensei says something before they leave.-- jerico, take care of him for me-- he says patting her arm-- and please show him how to relax

She laughs hugging tensei-- I Will, dont worry!

She says her goodbyes and both go back to the UA.

jerico crashes ontop of tenya both in their comfy pjs.

He hugs her waist pulling her closer and smiling.

-- my family really loved you back there-- he says leaving down the formality.

--im glad--she answers-- maybe one day youll meet mine!

Tenya smiles-- dyou think theyll like me?

She nodds and holds his hand-- im sure theyll do

He smiles and kisses her forehead.

As they fall asleep, tenya humms "just the two of us "by Grover Washington.

《I see the crystal raindrops fall

And the beauty of it all

Is when the sun comes shining through

To make those rainbows in my mind

When I think of you sometime

And I wanna spend some time with you

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

Just the two of us

(Just the two of us)

Just the two of us

Building castles in the sky

Just the two of us

You and I

We look for love, no time for tears

Wasted water's all that is

And it don't make no flowers grow

Good things might come to those who wait

Not for those who wait too late

We gotta go for all we know ...

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

Just the two of us

(Just the two of us)

Just the two of us

Building them castles in the sky

Just the two of us

You and I 》

#tenya tag pending #mina tag pending #jiro tag pending #uraraka tag pending #cw self deprecation #tw self deprecation #cw food ment #tw food ment

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Tracks opinions part 1: Janus

(Yes I’m staring with Janus and going backwards, I just need to talk about this snake man right now!)

Alright, I’ve seen lots of people give their takes on each of the sides playlists, and honestly... I feel like they’re not all that similar to my interpretations. I mean yes anyone can interpret the songs how they’d like, but some people just flat out ignore canon to see the songs as their ship instead of what I believe they are actually meant to be seen as. Anyways... Janus! Yes let’s go through each song one by one 💛

1) Black Hole Sun: I’ll admit this one was hard for me. The song is obviously so Janus, with plenty of references to snakes and lying, but I can’t seem to put a finger on the exact meaning. If I had to guess, it’s showing Janus’ fist instance of fearing society. He’s realized that the world is not a safe place for Thomas and no one can be trusted (“Times are gone for honest men” “no one sings like you anymore”). He longs for the ignorance of childhood when society didn’t seem to pose a threat and Thomas wasn’t aware of the dangers and lies it held, but he knows that someone has to protect him from it, and that is Janus (“my youth I pray to keep” “hang my head, drown my fear”).

2) Seemed the Better Way: To me, this is a song about Janus knowing his place as a dark side and knowing that the others will not listen to him (“I better hold my tongue” “better take my place”). He initially trusts the core sides to do what needs to be done and take care of Thomas adequately, but when he realizes that it isnt enough, he finds it hard to keep in hiding (“Seemed the better way” “now it’s much too late to turn the other cheek”).

3) Anywhere: A BIG middle finger to society (“It’s a beautiful world, if youve been lied to” “No no no, nothing in this world is beautiful”). Janus basically trusts no one in society, not even the people closest to Thomas because he believes that everyone will do whatever it takes to get what they want (“Every man standing on another man’s back”). He also believes that society has been a huge detriment to Thomas and, AGAIN, is very dangerous (“It’s the world’s excuse for being disfigured and lying to you”).

4) Talking at the same time: This song is about Virgil. The song begins with explaining that a hard time for one person can be a triumph for another in multiple different metaphors (“Umbrellas cost more in the rain” “hard times for some, for others its sweet” “someone makes money when theres blood in the street”). The next part of the song practically shoves it in your face that it’s about virgil leaving (“Well she told me she would leave me, I ignored all the signs” “I know you're leaving and there's no more next time”). Janus was clearly hurt by Virgil leaving and it seems like he was almost in denial about it happening. A line near the end of the song that I found particularly interesting was “Well we bailed out all the millionaires, They've got the fruit, We've got the rind”. This line to me shows that Janus and the other dark sides let Virgil go, possibly in an attempt to get all of the dark sides accepted. Virgil capitalized on this opportunity and of course, got accepted, however, he left the others behind. Despite wanting Virgil to get accepted by the light sides, Janus remains bitter that Virgil was the only one. Virgil got the fruit, and the rest of the dark sides got the rind.

5) All the Good Girls go to Hell: Janus believes that Thomas needs to listen to him if he is going to stay safe and healthy. He thinks that his assistance, above all other sides, expecially Patton, is crucial for survival in this messed up world. (“And once the water starts to rise, And heaven's out of sight, She'll want the devil on her team” “Look at you needing me”). You’ll find it a common theme in this playlist that Janus refers to himself as the devil or an evil entity of some sort... Just thought I’d point that out.

6) Denial: Well, its in the title folks! Thomas is (or was) in denial. Janus is aware of the moments when Thomas thinks about consulting him or using one of his functions, but almost as soon as he gets the idea, he drops it and acts like the thought never happened (“Don't just shut your eyes closed” “You know that I can hear you thinking, I've heard you all the way from here, But if I look you in the eye though, It's like your thoughts all disappear”). Thomas is struggling for answers to questions that only Janus can answer, but he refuses to listen to consult him and Janus desperately wants this to stop (“I know you're looking for direction, I know where you wanna go” “Please don't turn the light out, I don't think the conversation's over”).

7) Trust in Me: Obviously, the original song has much more sinister undertones, but when listening to the song from Janus’ perspective, I get a different vibe. Basically, Janus just wants Thomas to trust him and give him more reign over decision making. Not much for this one.

8) Razzle Dazzle: JANUS IS EXTRA! Is anyone shocked? Also a HUGE showman. But again, no one’s surprised. Janus believes that the only way to get the light sides to listen to him is to practically put on a show to cover up whatever his true intentions are (“How can they see with sequins in their eyes?” “Razzle dazzle 'em And theyll never catch wise!” “How can they hear the truth above the roar?”) I could keep listing lines but theyre literally all just different versions of the same sentiment.

9) When the Chips are Down: The title right off the bat shows that, again, Janus believes that Thomas needs to look to him when important decisions are on the line. There are also a lump sum of jabs at patton in this song, lines like “Aim for the heart, shoot to kill” and “Cast your eyes to heaven, You get a knife in the back”. Theres also a lot of lines, yet again, of Janus practically begging Thomas to trust him and no one else (“Ain't nobody but yourself to trust” “Help yourself, To hell with the rest, Even the one who loves you best”).

10) Mandy goes to Med School: Soooo this one... Honestly, I don’t really have a lot. The original meaning of the song is not very applicable to Janus, so its a bit hard to pinpoint its meaning. The only thing I can think of is that Janus is again hating on society and the crazy things that people have to go through in it. If you weren’t aware, this song is about coat-hanger abortions.

11) I put a Spell on You: This one seems pretty striaghtforward to me. Janus knows that Thomas doesn’t want him, and it drives him up the wall, but he does what a snake boi does and slithers his way in anyways (“And I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now” “I can't stand it 'cause you put me down”). I suppose you could argue that you could replace Thomas with Patton (mostly because daddy is used like 10 times in the song 😂) but a later song covers their realtionship extremely well.

12) Evil Night Together: Another toughie. My gut feeling is that this is a song about Remus and Janus just going out and having a wild night together. As I read into the lyrics more, though, it seems almost like Janus is doing this for Remus. Like he wants Remus to feel accepted and loved by him (something that can’t be said by Thomas). I just can’t read some of these lines without getting big Momceit vibes... i mean... theyre so supportive! “I'll hold your hand while they drag the river” “I'll cuddle you in the undertow” “I'll hold you close while they dust for prints”. Then theres of course this line... “Who's gonna make you a hero?” And to me, that is Janus saying that, if Thomas only sees Roman as his hero and not Remus, then it is Janus’ job to make Remus feel like a hero. Janus also saying “No need for cake or flowers” also feels like him reassuring Remus that he doesn’t need to be like his brother to be perfect and loved.

13) Don’t tell Mama: I think I’ve seen some people interpreting “mama” as Thomas in this song, but to me Patton seems like a better fit, especially after their interactions in the most recent episode. Basically this song is all about how Janus doesn’t mind people knowing about the bad things he does, but he can absolutely not have one person know. Janus seems to have grown a soft spot for Patton in the new episode and if you ask me, he would definately not want patton finding out about some of immoral things he’s wanted Thomas to do. I mean he literally waits for Patton to sink out and then the second he’s gone he starts scheming about pushing people down stairs and sabotage.

14) You’re a Cad: Another Virgil one, but this time it’s after Virgil’s acceptance. I think Janus has little faith in the beginning that Virgil would get far in his journey to the light side. Whether that is because of envy or just plain pessimism, I’m not sure, but he definately doubted Virgil would ever be able to escape his past (“So now you want the whole world to notice that you've come around, Now you expect, We'll see how you're really so much better now, But I know the truth” “What's the point pretending that you could be a better man, Just give in, since you always end up right back where you began”). Despite his reluctance to support Virgil’s endevors, Janus shows a softer side for Virgil that has gone completely untalked about in canon (“You're a rascal and a rogue, a villain and a crook, Still I tug at your line, I'm a fish on your hook” “Still I know the truth, but I have a sweet tooth for a Cad and a bounder, a dog and a cheap”). Janus really misses Virgil and I would go as far as to say that he regrets the things that he’s done to make Virgil want to leave (“I should be better, but I'm worse” “You're reckless with my heart, still I wait by the phone”).

15) As far as I can See: A sadie but a goodie. Janus doesn’t really understand love, but he’s sure that no one loves him (“As far as I can see Nobody loves me”). No one listens to him, no matter how much he shouts and cries. He doesn’t believe that anyone could love him if they are unwilling to hear him out and communicate with him (“As far as I can see, Nobody's listening” “And when I'm crying out, Nobody cries back for me”).

16) Criminal: AH MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! I LEGIT CRIED MY GUYS! Anyway. Janus LOVES Thomas. I would go as far to say that Janus loves Thomas more than any other side. Despite his lacking knowledge of love and what it feels like, he knows for a fact that what he feels for Thomas is the closest thing he will feel to love (“Because he's all I ever knew of love”). Now that thats out of the way, lets get to the juicy stuff... Janus feels like a criminal as he’s been taught over and over again that his opinions and thoughts are bad and harmful (“Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal” “I've done wrong and I wanna suffer for my sins”) This song is ultimately about Janus wanting to improve for Thomas, the one he loves the most. He knows that Thomas needs him, and the only way to get Thomas to listen is to get some help. Whose that help you might ask? Patton. Janus wants to be more helpful, but he doesnt know how. He’s envious of Patton’s ability to be accepted so easily, so he goes to him for advice (“I've come to you cause I need guidance to be true, And I just don't know where I can begin”). Janus wants to be redeemed in Thomas’ eyes, he wan’ts to escape the criminal appearance he’s been doomed to (“And I need to be redeemed, To the one I've sinned against”). He HATES some of the things he does to Thomas and some of the things he makes him think, but he doesn’t want to be forgiven, he believes that he deserves to be punished, but he still wants to get better for Thomas. He just doesn’t know how to do that (“Oh help me, but don't tell me to deny it, I've got to cleanse myself Of all these lies til I'm good enough for him”). Also, Janus sees Patton in a very very high place. He goes as far in this song to liken him to an angel while comparing himself, again, to the devil (“So what would an angel say, The devil wants to know”).

17) Change: The song is about, you guessed it, change! This to me is a continuation of the last song. Janus finally feels like things are changing in his favor (likely after the most recent episode). He was beginning to feel like there was no point in caring or trying, but now that he’s begining to see the light, he’s grown a bit hopeful (“Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care, Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?” “Trying to find the power in me to be faithful” “Change is a powerful thing, I feel it coming in me”). With Patton’s help and acceptance, Janus is begining to feel worthy of Thomas again and begining to see the he has a voice (“Maybe by the time this song is done I’ll be able to be honest, capable, Of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don't feel beautiful Or stable”).

18) Devil in the Details: Janus worries again about his ability to help Thomas. He doesn’t believe that he can tell the difference between good and bad and he looks to Patton for that differentiation (“There was love I meant, there were accidents, So tell me which is which. 'Cause I just can't work it out” “I have, no way, of knowing,…”). There’s also an odd underlying message about doing something that he doesn’t want to do, but continues to do despite this and I’m not quite sure what that could be referring to (“And I know the cost, and I want to stop. But I can't do it, I just can't do it.”). It could simply be referring to him lying or deceiving others, but that seems too simple. I wish I had a better answer.

19) Come Little Children: ALSO MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! This is really big guys. This song practically confirms the fact that Janus was in charge of taking in and hiding the dark sides from Thomas (“Come little children, I'll take thee away Into a land of enchantment”). The song literally uses the phrase “My garden of shadows”, a clear metaphor for the hidden parts of Thomas’ mind where Janus keeps the dark sides. But it gets better... Janus pities these poor sides. He hates the way that society has forced them away from the light and into the shadows (“Follow sweet children, I'll show thee the way Through all the pain And the sorrows”). Not only does Janus feel bad for these sides and longs to protect them from the cruelness of the real world, but he LOVES them. He values every aspect of them and thinks they are beautiful and perfect. He cannot fathom why society wouldn’t also love see them this way and it frustrates him to hide such amazing traits from the world (“Weep not poor children For life is this way, Murdering beauty and passions”). Despite this sadness and dissapointment, Janus does his job and keeps the dark sides hidden away, knowing that society would never accept them for what they are (“Hush now dear children, It must be this way”).

20) Into the Unknown (no not the Frozen song): This song is VERY IMPORTANT. I have seen so many misinterpretations of this song, and granted mine could also be wrong, but please hear me out. This song comes right after the last song for a reason. The sides that Janus had once hidden away are now being shown to Thomas. He is literally going into the unknown (“Led through the mist, By the milk-light of moon, All that was lost, is revealed.” “Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history, Lies a place that few have seen. A mysterious place, called The Unknown. Where long-forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.”) Thomas is figuratively traveling through the wood by learning more about himself and traveling deeper into Janus’ previously mentioned Garden of Shadows. The song ends, beautifully framing Janus’ love for the sides he’s raised and hidden away, calling them “ The loveliest lies of all”....

(Ahhh! I’m sorry that was so long guys 😅 Thank you if you read the whole thing or evern part! I’d like to hear your opinions, so let me know 💛💛💛)

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts sanders sides #ts unpopular opinions #ts janus #janus sanders #janus playlist #ts side tracks #janus’ playlist #sanders sides playlist #long post #ts sidetracks

[rocketcowboyblu]

Hi! Hello it’s me again (PArdon me lmao)

Since I posted about the Lion king idea of presenting finn, Thought why not give an idea of the entire movie if yall wanna idk write it? Cause I cant write at all. Ignore the spelling and grammar errors Im trying my best. ANYWAY uh have fun reading this mess of an R.D? (Rough Draft)

Alright, its like 10 years or so after the prime invasion. The BFF Squad finished restoring magic to the universe and found out where Adora and Catra hail from, (Magicat hidden kingdom on ethiera, and adora on eternia etc.)   Catra finds out shes magically pregnant and tells adora, adora is like “Holy shit were gonna be moms” SO like the dummy she is goes to glimmer and asks her permission to present her when the kit’s born. (cause its presumably from magicat culture idk u decide) Glimmer agrees and puts it on her to do lists cause yknow queen shit. 

Months later, Finns Born. Swift wind like the annoying loyal steed he is, goes to inform the other princesses of the presentation. (Insert the Circle of life Music) 

The princesses show up along with a bunch of other people cause It’s She-ra’s Heir/Kid. Anyway magicat queen comes and takes Finn and goes to present them (the balcony idk what part of brightmoon looks safe!?) presume the thrusting of them over a balcony. 

Scorpia and Bow are holding each other crying over how cute finn is, Catra and adora are looking at finn feeling so proud and shit, Glimmer is just holding her head staring at these idiots wondering why she even let them live there.

ALRIGHT HERE COMES THE INSANITY.

Behind the scenes, Catra had been helping glimmer with advising and taking over the actual royal advisors job. The R.A aint happy that her job is being taken by a war criminal and fraternizing with Etheria’s Hero. SO With some rogue clones they build a plan to get rid of finn and catra.

FLASH FORWARD 7 TO 9 YEARS LATER. 

Finn’s growing up and needs to learn the difference between play and work, the advisor tells finn that and suggests  adora help them out. so Adora takes Finn out to the whispering woods to teach them about self defense and magic bonding with the planet. 

DT strolls up cause their now Brightmoons babysitter (Much to their Utter Delight) and tells adora that theres some trouble in the LightZone (Frightzone) about clones. Finn wants to come but adora says no cause its dangerous, So DT offers to take finn cause they were gonna round up the Runestone kiddos for a playdate. 

DT and Finn pick up the kids and they get into trouble. Finn has a whole inner monologue about cant wait to be a Hero or something to make adora let them come with em. Cue the Ditching of DT and the Runestone Kids find themselves lost in the whispering woods.

Rogue Clones find them and give chase with laser blasters. Catra finds DT tied up and explains the kids tricked DT and they hear laser fire. So they go and save the kids. 

NOW catra’s a lil pissed and impressed cause Finn manged to trick DT but also left their sights. Catra gives a speech about how much trouble finns in but also quite impressed with their work and tells them that, they’ll show them how to really trick somebody (aka pranks) 

Later that night the advisor and the rogue clones finally finish the plan to get rid of catra and finn. 

A WEEK LATER. Spoiler alert its finn Bday (Oh god here comes the angst)

The R.A suggests a Royal family picnic. Glimmer, Micah, Bow, Glimbow kid, catra, adora, and finn go to the whispering woods cause theres a nice clearing the advisor has “Suggested.”

a mile or so away rogue clones had been herding up the wild beasts of the woods. (Yknow those hog creatures) 

Catra and adora actually have a gift for finn but want it to be a suprise so they ask the advisor what to do, Advisor tells them that theyll take finn to a spot near the picnic and they can give them the gift there.

Advisor puts finn in a spot and then signals the clones.

The ground shakes, the trees start moving, BAM OUT comes running thousands of magic hogs. RUN

Finns on all fours running for their life, their panting and see a spot which they presume will keep them safe. It’s not safe at all. 

Finn bolts into a canyon, and sees a high top rock that SURE LOOKS STABLE. They climb up it.

Back at the picnic advisor runs back to the crew, and tells them what happened, Catra goes haywire and starts bolting towards the canyon, Adora tells bow and glimmer to get help and grab the advisor and head towards finn.

Catra reaches the canyon first, she spots finn on the rock, Jumping down she goes running along in the herd til grabbing finn, Adora and the advisor are watching from the top, Catra is carrying finn and puts them on a platform of the canyon. Catra gets impaled by a running hogs horn, She goes down into the herd.

“CATRAAA!” Adora cries and jumps down into the herd as She-ra to save catra. Finn looks on in horror trying to spot adora and catra. Boom out jumps adora  going up the slide, struggling to carry catras limp body.

Finn goes to climb their way out of the canyon.

Adora is holding catra tightly and is still climbing til she sees the Advisor looking down on them. “Here! Grab onto catra!” The advisor smiles sinisterly. “I’m Afraid I can’t do that adora..” Adora looks at them in confusion. “Goodbye my oldest enemy” The advisors eyes flash green. Adora’s eyes go wide. BAM a burst of magic hits adora causing her to fall with catra.

Finn screams in the distant.

The herd leaves. Its quiet. dust is still kicked up.

Finn looks at their parents bodies on the ground. Limp.

“M-mom’s?” They called out. Knees buckling they go to catra shaking her “Please you gotta get up...”

“What have you done...” The advisor voice tells them.

Finn looks them at in fear “I didn-” “Insolent child! Look at what have you done! You’ve robbed etheria of their greatest heros!” Finns ears fold back, tears flooding their face.

“Get out of here. If you ever show your face here again I’ll have the palace guards kill you” a bright ball of magic formed in the advisors hand.

Finn bolts. the advisor chuckles darkly, for it was only the beginning of a new era.  

Bow and glimmer teleport to area. they spot their friends.

Glimmer shakes catra “Horde scum DONT YOU DARE-” Catra bolts up gasping and then groans in pain “well.. there goes one of my 9 lives.”  catra looks around and sees adora. And now shes screaming at glimmer to heal her. 

The advisor looks ready to run. Glimmer heals adora and adora stirs going “W-what happened?” catra fills her in (catra doesnt know about the advisor she was unconsious.) And they cant find finn. so now its depresso expresso time cause adora cant remeber what happened and where finn is. 

LOL  IHATE WRITING THIS ALREADY. 

Alrighty alrighty. So finn gets lost in the crimson and find Lonnie and the horde kids. (they dont know its catra or adoras kid cause they burnt that bridge) they adopt em for protection and help with digging in the crimson waste mines for gems and whatever else. And finn dyes their hair blond and shaves it to hide their idenity in fear of the advisor.

8 or so years past. Finns like 17 and the horde kids r old LOL

Scorfumas kid stumbles upon finn and they go into conversation about what the hell happened. Finn tells em about how they killed their parents and how they werent allowed near brightmoon cause the advisor would kill them. Scorfumas kid then has to explain that the advisor was now running brightmoon into the ground using their grief to an advantage. Btw kyles singing can u feel the love cause he do be misintruptioning shit. fuckin kyle XD (Lonnie is gonna kill this fool)

LATER FINN LOOKS AT THE WOODS AND OUT COMES YA GURL RAZZLE DAZZLE! Madam razz goes into her time loops and yknow the deal, she goes “Catra is that you dearie?” Finns like “YOU KNOW MY MOM?!” anyway razz leads them to the abandoned fort of grayskull yack yack yeack. Razz tells them that evil comes from power, not from heart, remember who you are type of shit.

Finn finally decides to go home.

Back at brightmoon everythings horrible. its the works yknow? DT got stuck in the “Prison” cause of how they were sus of the advisor.

Just gonna shorten it cause this is so LONG. Finn shows up, catradora are in shock. advisor turns out is the leftover of PRIME so then finn and him fight. Finn wins and here comes one of the newest heros to etheria. GG end of AU LOL

Sorry I dont know what I just wrote. but yeah theres the gist of the idea if yall wanna steal and try to write this shitpost? idk lol thanks for coming to this ted talk

#shera #catra #adora #catradora #lion king au #finn #glimmer problems #bow is in the back crying about how cute it is #rough draft #idk i cant write #she ra fandom #she ra season five #she ra fanfic idea