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#so this is a couple days later than i'd like
hgfictionwriter · 3 days
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Handy - Part Two
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: Jessie isn't done helping you with household projects. In fact, she helps you undertake your biggest one yet. But can she finally tell you how she feels? To be determined.
Warnings: None other than it's sickly sweet.
A/N: Thank you SO much for the response to the original post. I'm excited to share Part Two with you all. I hope you enjoy! Part One is here if you need it.
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"Good morning! How is your day going?"
"Morning Jessie :) My morning's going okay. It's still early, so not much to report yet lol. I have a couple of meetings later though. How is your morning going? Let me guess, even though you have the day off, you've been up since pretty much sunrise, you've probably fit in a run, a couple of chapters and had breakfast haha."
"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me? lol. And you may be right about all of those things."
"Not making fun - it's really more admiration. If I had the day off I'd still be fast asleep lol."
"There's nothing wrong with that either. For the record."
"I appreciate the sentiment lol. Very generous of you. So, what do you have planned for your day off?"
You leaned back in your chair and waited as the three dots faded in and out in sequence. A frown crossed your face as they disappeared. Before you could think too much about it they came up again. Another frown creased your forehead as they disappeared once more. You sat up. What was going on?
A few moments later the dots reappeared and shortly after a text mercifully came through from Jessie.
"I'm running some errands in the SW today. I probably won't be too far from your office. If you're not too busy or don't have plans already, maybe we could go for lunch?"
Another text came through a moment later.
"No pressure though."
You leaned back in your chair and smiled. She was really so cute.
It had been a couple of weeks since your impromptu night over at Jessie's. You'd seen each other since, including when Jessie did in fact come by your apartment to patch up the drywall.
That said, lunch together mid-week was something new.
"That sounds great. I'm in a meeting until 11:30, but can meet you after."
"Okay! You know the area, so you pick where and I'll meet you there."
The morning went by quickly and before you knew it you were walking into the restaurant and wordlessly searching the tables until you saw Jessie. If she saw you, she was making a point of not showing it. Instead, she leaned into the menu, studying it rather determinedly.
"Fancy seeing you here," you teased as you grabbed a seat. She looked up, eyebrows high in surprise and greeted you.
"Oh hey!"
You resisted the urge to blush as she - inadvertently or not - looked you up and down.
"I feel like I'm underdressed," she muttered, giving a nod to your business attire before leaning back in her chair and tucking her hands into her hoodie pocket. You gave her a look.
"Don't be silly. You look great." She gave you a dismissive frown and you went on, shrugging off your jacket and picking up the menu. "I hope you weren't waiting long."
"No, no," she dismissed readily as she began reviewing the menu once more. "Gave me time to figure out what I want."
"Okay, good. I always get the poke bowl," you told her and a wry smirk formed on her face as she looked at you over the menu.
"I knew it," she said in a very self-satisfied way.
"You know me so well." You rolled your eyes with a short laugh. "What kind of errands were you running in this part of town anyway?"
You frowned as she lifted her eyebrows high again, forehead creasing as she worked to respond. She didn't avert her eyes from the menu in her hands.
"Uh, just picking up something for the team," she relayed evenly.
"Oh. What was that?" You asked, curious and truthfully a bit skeptical.
The blush she'd been fending off broke through and her cheeks began to glow pink under your scrutiny. She shrugged her shoulders.
"Just some gear. Nothing exciting," she said with a laugh, her voice slightly higher than normal.
"Oh, I thought equipment staff would take care of things like that," you said lightly, immediately seeing her readying a rebuttal. You cut her off with a cheeky remark. "I would've said otherwise that if you just wanted to have lunch together you could simply ask."
Her face grew red and she subconsciously sunk into her chair a bit before righting herself and frowning at you.
"I know that." She nearly pouted before huffing exaggeratedly. She shot you a look and spoke pointedly. "Anyway, I have those new hinges for your cupboard. Does Friday still work for you?"
"It does, thank you," you said, allowing her some reprieve.
You enjoyed your lunch together, and although you wanted it to last longer, you had to be back at the office soon. You'd excused yourself to the washroom and when you came back Jessie was hunched over the table concentrating on something. When she heard the scraping of your chair on the floor she looked up.
"Good timing," she said with a quiet smile as she held out a small folded item for you. "His name is Bernard. He's for you."
The puzzled look on your face was quickly replaced with a wide smile as you realized what it was.
"An origami dinosaur!" You exclaimed excitedly as you looked it over. "The best use of a napkin I've seen yet."
Though Jessie wasn't outwardly beaming, the lift in her shoulders and the brightness in her eyes told you she was pleased by your reaction.
"He's awesome," you told her as you began to tuck him into your bag.
"Oh, I was just kidding, you don't have to keep him. I was just messing around," Jessie said, belated embarrassment now encompassing her. You stilled your movements and shot her a look.
"Throw Bernard away? And you kidding me?" You asked in mock offense. "He's mine now. For good."
Her cheeks were bright pink, but she laughed as she stood.
"So...Friday?" She asked again, a hint of nervousness sneaking back into her voice despite how nonchalant she was trying to make herself look. You nodded decisively.
"Friday."
"Alright. Well," Jessie stalled momentarily scratching her temple idly, her gaze focused elsewhere before she looked to you again with a small smile. "Thanks for having lunch with me. I hope your afternoon goes well."
"Thanks for meeting me. Let me know if you have to run anymore errands around here," you said with the faintest hint of teasing. It was enough to get Jessie to look away and blush once more.
"Yep. I will."
"Bye, Jess," you said easily as you stepped towards her and pulled her into a hug. Though her hold on you was still a bit tentative, like she didn't want to relax into it too much, it was still a far cry from how she'd been that first night.
When you pulled away, her hands went behind her back immediately and she went up onto her tiptoes. "I'll walk you to your car."
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"What's this?"
You looked over with a frown. You cracked a smirk as Jessie stood there, looking at you accusingly as she held up a paint swatch as if it was a piece of evidence.
"A paint swatch," you replied slowly.
"I'm aware," she said in exaggeration before looking a bit disappointed. "Why didn't you tell me you were planning to paint?"
You shrugged, really more distracted by how cute and endearing she looked as she pouted.
"Um, I'm sorry?" You offered with lackluster earnest.
She rolled her eyes and walked over to your wall with the swatch. You watched her as she frowned in concentration, lifting her other hand up to rest on her chin as she studied the colours in front of her.
"I think-" she started before turning her head to you. "Wait - do you want my opinion?"
You laughed. "Of course I do. You're my resident handyperson. Personal reno expert. Whatever title you prefer."
Jessie's lips pulled into a tight, shy smile as her cheeks began to grow pink. She turned her attention back to the swatch.
"I like this third one. I think the one above it will just end up too washed out and the one below will make the space feel closed in and small."
"Well, we're in luck, because that's the one I was thinking of."
She gave you a nod of approval before walking back over to you. She folded her arms across her chest, planting her feet and exhaled briefly. She took a moment before looking at you.
"Well. You're going to need a lot of supplies. So, we could go together and get them," she trailed off, her gaze following before resetting. "And it'll take you ages to do this whole place on your own, so," she waved her hand aimlessly for a few seconds, "I can help."
"Jessie." You gave her a pointed look. "As much as I appreciate that, painting is a big ordeal. You've already done way too much for me."
She surprised you by looking nearly hurt by the sentiment.
"I don't mind. Seriously. I told you I was happy to help and I meant it. Mean it." She gave a listless shrug. "I like painting."
"A whole condo?" You scrutinized, arching an eyebrow at her.
She blushed a bit, the smallest of smiles sneaking out as she shrugged once more. "We make a good team."
————
It should've been no surprise to either of you that it didn't take much convincing for Jessie to get her way. The following week you were driving around town together picking up paint and accompanying supplies.
Again, you had to give yourself a reality check when you and Jessie were wandering the paint aisle of the hardware store together. It was too easy to think of yourselves as something more as you controlled the list (though curated mostly by Jessie...) and she pushed the cart and dutifully retrieved items.
It was pathetic, really, how you were fighting for your life, trying not to smile as you two were leaned in together as you compared and debated two types of paint brushes. You had to roll your eyes at yourself. You were in way too deep.
To make matters worse, Jessie - after bouncing her knee all through lunch and determinedly avoiding eye contract with you - offered to have you stay at her place while painting was under way.
"I'll take the couch again. You really can't stay here with the furniture all awry and tarped, and the fumes."
She was going to be the death of you.
"Okay, so everything's set - we've moved everything, things are tarped, supplies are laid out-"
"Meticulously so," you interjected with a teasing smirk. She shot you a mocking glare.
"We can get taping," she announced patiently.
You walked over wordlessly and removed her hat. You saw her swallow as she looked at you with wide, brown eyes.
"Not your nice hat," you told her as you tucked it away and retrieved a hat of your own. "I don't want you to get paint on it. Here, you can wear mine instead." You placed it on her head with a gentle smile, sure not to laugh at how her cheeks were now burning red.
She cleared her throat and adjusted the hat. "Okay, well, let's get started."
It was only a few minutes in when Jessie interjected.
"What are you doing?" She asked, clearly aghast and not hiding it particularly well.
You sat back on your heels and looked at her.
"Cutting in?"
"Freehand?" She said, her voice rising and narrowing her eyes in sheer disbelief. "That's what the tape-" Jessie's words trailed off as she examined your work. "Oh," sounding nearly deflated. "That's actually quite good."
You gave her a teasingly scrutinizing look as you did air quotes. "'Actually quite good.' Wow. The disrespect." She rolled her eyes at you with a laugh and nearly stamped her foot.
"Come on, you know what I mean."
You shook your head at her. "You're not the only one with skills here, Fleming."
You bit back a smile as her cheeks started to darken. She distracted by readjusting her hat, tucking her hand into her pocket and idly shifting her weight from one foot to the next.
"Is that so?" She asked.
"It is. I just haven't had my chance to shine," you continued cheekily as you stood up.
"Well, what I'm hearing is you don't need my services," she said, a glint now in her eyes.
"Jess." Her name came out like a pout and you gave her arm a gentle shove. She grinned before lifting her chin haughtily and giving a shrug.
"I mean, I can go."
"Jessie," you protested once more, jostling her a bit this time and pulling a wide smile out of her. You gave her a look of warning. "Don't make me beg you to stay."
That glint was still in her eyes as she leaned in and gave you a soft nudge with her shoulder. "Fine. I'll get back to work," she deadpanned.
You worked steadily for several hours, you and Jessie finding a good cadence and coordinating seamlessly early on. You nicked the baseboards and doorframes on a couple of occasions, but it was Jessie's fault. How could you be expected to remain steady and focused when you could see the muscles in her back flex and her calves pop as she maneuvered herself along the wall to paint. And her t-shirt sleeves rolled up onto her shoulders? A little too attractive. Never mind her biceps being on display.
The other close call was when you nearly dropped the roller when you felt her hand on your back as she shimmied past you and around the furniture at one point. The contact was feather-light, but it sent a shiver through you nonetheless.
Eventually, you both took a break, sitting flush against one another on the tarped floor, your backs against the couch that had been moved into the center of the room.
You were taking a sip of water when Jessie's phone began to buzz. You saw her look at it and you told her to take the call.
"Mm. It's just my sister. I'll call her back later." Shortly after the buzzing stopped, a text came through. Jessie read it quickly and sighed before calling her back.
You rose from your spot, aware of Jessie's eyes on you as you did so. You retreated to the other room to give her some space. However, you could still overhear Jessie despite how hushed she was trying to speak. You weren't intentionally trying to eavesdrop, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't curious.
"...I can't right now...I'm out..." A huff. "I'm...at a friend's...No...No...No." Then, in an even more hushed tone. "Y/N's..." Another exasperated huff. "I'll call you later. Yes! Okay. Bye!"
You gave it a few moments, but couldn't resist much longer and came back into the living room to see Jessie looking flustered and a blush lingering on her cheeks. She met your eyes before her gaze darted away.
"Hey," she nearly mumbled before standing up and brushing off her shorts needlessly. You, again, tried not to get distracted by her paint-covered hands. "Shall we continue?"
You worked late into the night finishing a first coat across the rooms before packing it up. Your body ached.
"I can't believe you have a game tomorrow. I'm so sorry," you told her, guilt creeping in.
"What for?" Jessie looked genuinely puzzled.
"Aren't you sore? My back is killing me," you asked incredulously.
"Oh, no, I'm feeling fine. It's good conditioning," she joked. "We'll get you a heat pack when we get back to my place."
You were going to need a hell of a lot more than a heat pack, but you gave her a grateful nod nonetheless. You bent to pick up your overnight bag, but her hand shot out and grabbed it before you could. She stood and swung it effortlessly over her shoulder.
"Ready?"
A/N: You all have me so into this now that I couldn't fit everything I wanted into two parts. Third part coming soon!
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mwahsturns · 22 hours
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First choice // Matt Sturniolo Pt 1
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matt sturniolo x fem!reader
Contains: cussing, fluff, flirting, talk of death, Semi-proof read! I think that’s it let me know if there’s more! Also if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please ignore them 😭🙏🏻
Synopsis: Y/n works at a record store and one day while she’s working two very cute guys walk into the store but one especially catches her eye and later so happens they end up having more then just there music taste in common ;)
Word Count:1,890
Author’s notes: Hii bbys !! <3, So I’ve never written a fic before or posted on tumblr, So I’m sorry if this is bad I’m new at this please go easy on me😭🙏🏻. If you guys have any suggestions, tips or advice please message me I hope you enjoy my new series!!, this took me a very long time to come up with so I hope you love it💗.
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* *:・゚✧💒*:・゚✧
The sound of music always brought me peace, I work at a record shop because I love being around vinyls and just anything music related really. I also really enjoy reading It's always brought me a sense of comfort as well as writing and poetry. Honestly it makes me really happy, and ever since I was a kid I've always written songs and maybe sang a little bit but that’s a secret. I don't know what it is but I always feel like it helps me forget about everything that’s wrong in my life, my parents died when I was 16 so it’s always been just me and my two little brothers. I love them more than anything and I'd do anything for them. Today was just a regular day at work I was putting vinyls on the racks that they go on when two guys walk into the store, I look over and give them a soft smile.
‘hii welcome let me know if you need any help finding any artist or vinyl specifically’ they smile at me and nod as one of the boys catches my eye, I’m a very shy person so I decided not to say anything unless I needed to. After a couple minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around and saw the guy who caught my eye standing in front of me. ‘hi um i wanted to ask you something’ he seemed very nervous but also very confident weird mix. ‘yes of course how can i help you’ I smiled softly at him hoping to make him more comfortable, ‘do you happen to have “circles” by Mac miller’ he says as he does a side smile. I smile at him as I think about how I also enjoy mac miller.
‘yea over here!’ i walk over and pull it off the rack, ‘this is one of my favorites’ i say chuckling, ‘i really like this one’ he says turning the vinyl around. ‘what other artists do you like?’ ‘i really like d4vd and um frank ocean oh! Omg Dominic Fike omg Tyler the creator?! is so amazing and oh my god i'm rambling im so sorry’ I blushed getting a little nervous, ‘nah you're good’ he smiles as I look up at him and smile softly. We stand there until the guy he came with comes up to him ‘woah you guys twins or am I dumb?’ ‘nahh triplets’ he says laughing ’oh cool” i say and start checking them out. ‘You're the first to not ask us a million and one questions about being triplets’ he chuckles, ‘yea nah y'all will tell me over time’ I smirk i say with my boston accent coming through a little.
‘oh so you plan on getting to know us’ he smirks a little ‘oh totally y’all look cool’ I laugh, ‘you're from boston?’ The other guy says noticing my backpack in the back with the Boston logo. ‘yes i am’ i laugh ‘us too!’ ‘What's your name?’ The guy who got my eye says ‘I’m y/n’ ‘cool im matt and hes chris’ ahh Matt hot guy hot name. ‘cool!’ I hand them the bag and me and Matt make eye contact, ‘have a good day’ ‘thanks you too’ matt says smiling at me. They walk out and i really hope i see them again.
* *:・゚✧💒*:・゚✧
  I finally got to clock out of work It was so tiring and I needed to make sure my little brothers were ok. I get to my car and get settled in and connect my phone to the aux and play “Ivy” by Frank Ocean. I’m so glad to be going home I think as I started driving I decided that I was gonna pick up a pizza for my little brothers because I got paid today and I know how much they love pizza. We aren't broke completely but we definitely struggle sometimes recently things have been rough but I finally got a promotion so it's getting a little easier I got the pizza and started heading home I got home and when i opened the door and my brothers cody and alex run up to me and ‘sissyyyy we missed you’ alex says hugging me, ‘aww i miss you too bud’ ‘sissy you bought pizza!’ Cody says looking like his eyes are gonna pop out of his head. 
 
i walk over to alexa who’s been my best friend for years, she helps me with my brothers and just around the house ‘thank you so much lex’ i say hugging her ‘Of course love that's what best friends are for’ she says smiling softly ‘wanna spend the night and when i put them to bed we can talk?’ ‘yeah okay sure’ Alexa smiles at me while i feed the boys.
I start to give the boys a shower and as i’m showering cody he looks up at me with the biggest smile on his face. ‘sissy I wanna be just like you when i grow up.’ He says playing with the bubbles, ‘aww little c i love you a lot bub and i know one day you’ll be even better than me’ i say tearing up, cody has always been more clingy to me than Alex is but not as much, cody doesn’t like to leave my side and he is the sweetest kid ever. Him saying he wants to be like me does hurt a little because I've been through a lot of shit but the fact that I look strong in his eyes makes up for it all. I put them to bed and Me Alexa got some wine and took a seat on the couch.
‘So how was your day?’ She says sitting next to me. ‘it was good omg lex these two really cute brothers came into the shop and oh my god girl’ I say blushing thinking of Matt ‘speaking of cute brothers you know the guy i was talking to?’ ‘yes why?’ ‘this is him and his brother I’d think you like him’ she turns her phone and pulls out a picture.
‘hold up hold up let me see that?!’ i say taking the phone from her ‘omg thats the cute guys that came in today’ ‘Omg?! yeah i've been talking to chris for a minute now’ ‘matt’s pretty attractive just sayin’ I couldn’t help myself but blush i don’t know what’s wrong with me fuck Y/N get it together. ‘oooo y/n has a crush?’ ‘oh shut the fuck up’ ‘oh come on you haven’t had a boyfriend since your parents died’ she says starting to get serious, ‘i know but my brothers mean the world to me lex i need to make sure there ok i don’t have the time’ I would love to give Matt a chance but i don’t know.
‘your brothers would want you to be happy y/n/n’ she says rubbing my knee, ‘I know but it's not about me being happy i need to make sure there happy i have to be a mother figure to them they need me’ ‘i get that babes but you need to remember you lost them too your only 20 rasing two kids you need to be a kid too especially since you were forced to grow up so quick’ i look at her and nod I mean I understand where she’s coming from but my brothers are all I know. ‘i love you y/n i'm just looking out for you ima head to bed goodnight love’ ‘night babes’ as she walks off and goes to into the guest room i kinda sit there think about what she said and i mean she's right but i can’t risk something happening to my brothers.  I head upstairs and head to bed because i have another day of work but holy fuck thank god it's friday. 
* *:・゚✧💒*:・゚✧
I woke up the next morning only because my alarm for work went off and i see it’s 9:44 so i know Alexa is getting my brothers ready for school I get out of the bed and i started to get ready for work. I finished getting ready for work when my younger brother Cody came into the room with tears in his eyes. ‘sis…’ he says in a sad tone I turned around quickly and scooped him into my arms ‘aww what's wrong love?’ i say concerned.
‘i don’t wanna go to school i wanna stay home with you can you please skip work..’ he says in a whiny tone, ‘Aww bub i wish i could help but you know the rules’ When i got custody of cody and alex the court gave me really strict rules to follow, i had to make sure they were always at school, they weren’t falling and that i kept a stable job and make enough money or else they would take them away. ‘I know but i hate being at school kids are mean to me and alex’ i look at him feeling bad but i don’t wanna risk losing them. ‘I’m sorry bub if i could keep you and alex with me 24/7 forever i would’ i say hugging him tightly.
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i got to work over an hour ago and to say its boring is an understatement. Just as i think that i hear the bell ring meaning someone walked into the store, i look up ready to greet them and i realize its matt. ‘Matt? Hey’ i say smiling. ‘Hey um i know this might be weird but i um.. Well so my brother chris the one that was with me last time uh i found out that the girl hes been talking to happens to be your best friend right?’ ‘yeah shes my best friend’ ‘well um she kinda encouraged me to come back..’ ‘what do you mean?’ ‘well i uh wanted to see if you were willing to go out with me… you don’t have to its o-‘ he starts to say but i cut him off. ‘Sure why not’ i say smiling i don’t know what happened but he was too sweet for me to say no to.
‘Wait really?’ ‘yea i mean i can’t deny you are pretty cute..’ ‘well thank you’ he laughs damn something about the way he laughs i dont know but it feels almost addicting to listen to. ‘Uh are you free saturday?’ ‘yeah i am’ i smile ‘sweet! Ill text you’ ‘okay bye matt’ ‘bye” he blushed a little bit as he left the shop. Shit who’s gonna watch cody and alex?!                                                                   
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Author’s notes:heyyy I’m back! So I hope you enjoyed the first part of this series and I’m sorry if there was any typos, spelling mistakes, etc I’ll try to fix the ones I can if I miss anything please let me know but I hope you enjoy and have a great day 💋
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aleki-lives-here · 2 months
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strozzaprete · 2 years
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not to be morbid on main but my life is so strange every day i'm fighting with my inner suicidal child trying to convince her to stay alive out of spite for our enemies
#this entire year ​i've been forced to relive past trauma -> which i'd been able to finally process but it doesn't involve just me#so basically i processed it but my family hasn't and they keep putting the blame on me for everything and guilting me for it#even though i was a literal child. in short the fact that i ''acted out'' by running away from abusive situations was and still is worse#than the actual abusive situations i was put in. as a child.#so like... i can forgive and understand and empathize with my past self at last (instead of feeling suicidal like i did for years)#but if nobody else in my close family circle does then i have to essentially stay strong and remind myself that they're wrong#point is that when i was 11-12 i would react to the emotional and physical abuse by basically putting myself in dangerous situations#and attempting suicide a couple of times lmao. staring at the train tracks every other day#because the fact that they beat me was NORMAL for me (my mom told me that i was 2 the first time my dad hit me)#and they were acting like i was (i quote) ''bipolar'' and mentally ill and acting out out of nowhere and i couldn't fully understand why#i was doing certain things at the time. so i put the entirety of the ''blame'' on myself. and later on my mom would make me feel guilty#about it for a decade to win arguments -> which almost every time start with her gaslighting me until i start crying and yelling so then she#can call me crazy. and she can make ME feel crazy so i won't take her accountable. so she avoids taking responsibility for her actions (past#and present). i finally realized this when i told her that one of the most traumatic events of my life was when she found some smoking#filters in my drawer (she used to go through my stuff all the time) that i was LITERALLY KEEPING FOR A FRIEND and she dragged me out on the#balcony by my hair and beat me. she would beat me in public places all the time to humiliate me. even my school friends remember this#and she said 1) ''it didn't happen'' and 2) ''i don't remember''#so that's that. either i'm crazy and i fabricated the memory out of nowhere... or she's not taking responsibility for her actions.#and like... I KNOW it happened. but i'm very sensitive to gaslighting (as she does this all the time about other things as well)#and sometimes i literally have to hug myself and rock back and forth and essentially try to convince myself i'm not crazy#that's the situation i'm in rn :) cool#thank god the therapist moved my appointment to tomorrow because i'm about to implode or perhaps ask for money in advance to purchase drugs
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justthatspiffy · 1 year
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there's such a jarring difference in watching dating reality tv when you're single vs in a healthy relationship
when i was single i watched it almost as an exposure therapy to people being vulnerable and performing romantic gestures, and while i had many moments of "no! that is not how we communicate with our partners!" and awareness of the hilariously compressed timelines of these shows, i was not overwhelmed in cringe
now, while i don't have any more romantic experience than the people in these shows (tho i may have plenty more communicating-in-healthy-ways experience), the romantic performance is thrillingly novel, the vulnerability is alarmingly rushed, and it's overall not as interesting to watch
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How I got scammed
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/#swiss-cheese-security
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I wuz robbed.
More specifically, I was tricked by a phone-phisher pretending to be from my bank, and he convinced me to hand over my credit-card number, then did $8,000+ worth of fraud with it before I figured out what happened. And then he tried to do it again, a week later!
Here's what happened. Over the Christmas holiday, I traveled to New Orleans. The day we landed, I hit a Chase ATM in the French Quarter for some cash, but the machine declined the transaction. Later in the day, we passed a little credit-union's ATM and I used that one instead (I bank with a one-branch credit union and generally there's no fee to use another CU's ATM).
A couple days later, I got a call from my credit union. It was a weekend, during the holiday, and the guy who called was obviously working for my little CU's after-hours fraud contractor. I'd dealt with these folks before – they service a ton of little credit unions, and generally the call quality isn't great and the staff will often make mistakes like mispronouncing my credit union's name.
That's what happened here – the guy was on a terrible VOIP line and I had to ask him to readjust his mic before I could even understand him. He mispronounced my bank's name and then asked if I'd attempted to spend $1,000 at an Apple Store in NYC that day. No, I said, and groaned inwardly. What a pain in the ass. Obviously, I'd had my ATM card skimmed – either at the Chase ATM (maybe that was why the transaction failed), or at the other credit union's ATM (it had been a very cheap looking system).
I told the guy to block my card and we started going through the tedious business of running through recent transactions, verifying my identity, and so on. It dragged on and on. These were my last hours in New Orleans, and I'd left my family at home and gone out to see some of the pre-Mardi Gras krewe celebrations and get a muffalata, and I could tell that I was going to run out of time before I finished talking to this guy.
"Look," I said, "you've got all my details, you've frozen the card. I gotta go home and meet my family and head to the airport. I'll call you back on the after-hours number once I'm through security, all right?"
He was frustrated, but that was his problem. I hung up, got my sandwich, went to the airport, and we checked in. It was total chaos: an Alaska Air 737 Max had just lost its door-plug in mid-air and every Max in every airline's fleet had been grounded, so the check in was crammed with people trying to rebook. We got through to the gate and I sat down to call the CU's after-hours line. The person on the other end told me that she could only handle lost and stolen cards, not fraud, and given that I'd already frozen the card, I should just drop by the branch on Monday to get a new card.
We flew home, and later the next day, I logged into my account and made a list of all the fraudulent transactions and printed them out, and on Monday morning, I drove to the bank to deal with all the paperwork. The folks at the CU were even more pissed than I was. The fraud that run up to more than $8,000, and if Visa refused to take it out of the merchants where the card had been used, my little credit union would have to eat the loss.
I agreed and commiserated. I also pointed out that their outsource, after-hours fraud center bore some blame here: I'd canceled the card on Saturday but most of the fraud had taken place on Sunday. Something had gone wrong.
One cool thing about banking at a tiny credit-union is that you end up talking to people who have actual authority, responsibility and agency. It turned out the the woman who was processing my fraud paperwork was a VP, and she decided to look into it. A few minutes later she came back and told me that the fraud center had no record of having called me on Saturday.
"That was the fraudster," she said.
Oh, shit. I frantically rewound my conversation, trying to figure out if this could possibly be true. I hadn't given him anything apart from some very anodyne info, like what city I live in (which is in my Wikipedia entry), my date of birth (ditto), and the last four digits of my card.
Wait a sec.
He hadn't asked for the last four digits. He'd asked for the last seven digits. At the time, I'd found that very frustrating, but now – "The first nine digits are the same for every card you issue, right?" I asked the VP.
I'd given him my entire card number.
Goddammit.
The thing is, I know a lot about fraud. I'm writing an entire series of novels about this kind of scam:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle
And most summers, I go to Defcon, and I always go to the "social engineering" competitions where an audience listens as a hacker in a soundproof booth cold-calls merchants (with the owner's permission) and tries to con whoever answers the phone into giving up important information.
But I'd been conned.
Now look, I knew I could be conned. I'd been conned before, 13 years ago, by a Twitter worm that successfully phished out of my password via DM:
https://locusmag.com/2010/05/cory-doctorow-persistence-pays-parasites/
That scam had required a miracle of timing. It started the day before, when I'd reset my phone to factory defaults and reinstalled all my apps. That same day, I'd published two big online features that a lot of people were talking about. The next morning, we were late getting out of the house, so by the time my wife and I dropped the kid at daycare and went to the coffee shop, it had a long line. Rather than wait in line with me, my wife sat down to read a newspaper, and so I pulled out my phone and found a Twitter DM from a friend asking "is this you?" with a URL.
Assuming this was something to do with those articles I'd published the day before, I clicked the link and got prompted for my Twitter login again. This had been happening all day because I'd done that mobile reinstall the day before and all my stored passwords had been wiped. I entered it but the page timed out. By that time, the coffees were ready. We sat and chatted for a bit, then went our own ways.
I was on my way to the office when I checked my phone again. I had a whole string of DMs from other friends. Each one read "is this you?" and had a URL.
Oh, shit, I'd been phished.
If I hadn't reinstalled my mobile OS the day before. If I hadn't published a pair of big articles the day before. If we hadn't been late getting out the door. If we had been a little more late getting out the door (so that I'd have seen the multiple DMs, which would have tipped me off).
There's a name for this in security circles: "Swiss-cheese security." Imagine multiple slices of Swiss cheese all stacked up, the holes in one slice blocked by the slice below it. All the slices move around and every now and again, a hole opens up that goes all the way through the stack. Zap!
The fraudster who tricked me out of my credit card number had Swiss cheese security on his side. Yes, he spoofed my bank's caller ID, but that wouldn't have been enough to fool me if I hadn't been on vacation, having just used a pair of dodgy ATMs, in a hurry and distracted. If the 737 Max disaster hadn't happened that day and I'd had more time at the gate, I'd have called my bank back. If my bank didn't use a slightly crappy outsource/out-of-hours fraud center that I'd already had sub-par experiences with. If, if, if.
The next Friday night, at 5:30PM, the fraudster called me back, pretending to be the bank's after-hours center. He told me my card had been compromised again. But: I hadn't removed my card from my wallet since I'd had it replaced. Also, it was half an hour after the bank closed for the long weekend, a very fraud-friendly time. And when I told him I'd call him back and asked for the after-hours fraud number, he got very threatening and warned me that because I'd now been notified about the fraud that any losses the bank suffered after I hung up the phone without completing the fraud protocol would be billed to me. I hung up on him. He called me back immediately. I hung up on him again and put my phone into do-not-disturb.
The following Tuesday, I called my bank and spoke to their head of risk-management. I went through everything I'd figured out about the fraudsters, and she told me that credit unions across America were being hit by this scam, by fraudsters who somehow knew CU customers' phone numbers and names, and which CU they banked at. This was key: my phone number is a reasonably well-kept secret. You can get it by spending money with Equifax or another nonconsensual doxing giant, but you can't just google it or get it at any of the free services. The fact that the fraudsters knew where I banked, knew my name, and had my phone number had really caused me to let down my guard.
The risk management person and I talked about how the credit union could mitigate this attack: for example, by better-training the after-hours card-loss staff to be on the alert for calls from people who had been contacted about supposed card fraud. We also went through the confusing phone-menu that had funneled me to the wrong department when I called in, and worked through alternate wording for the menu system that would be clearer (this is the best part about banking with a small CU – you can talk directly to the responsible person and have a productive discussion!). I even convinced her to buy a ticket to next summer's Defcon to attend the social engineering competitions.
There's a leak somewhere in the CU systems' supply chain. Maybe it's Zelle, or the small number of corresponding banks that CUs rely on for SWIFT transaction forwarding. Maybe it's even those after-hours fraud/card-loss centers. But all across the USA, CU customers are getting calls with spoofed caller IDs from fraudsters who know their registered phone numbers and where they bank.
I've been mulling this over for most of a month now, and one thing has really been eating at me: the way that AI is going to make this kind of problem much worse.
Not because AI is going to commit fraud, though.
One of the truest things I know about AI is: "we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job":
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week
I trusted this fraudster specifically because I knew that the outsource, out-of-hours contractors my bank uses have crummy headsets, don't know how to pronounce my bank's name, and have long-ass, tedious, and pointless standardized questionnaires they run through when taking fraud reports. All of this created cover for the fraudster, whose plausibility was enhanced by the rough edges in his pitch - they didn't raise red flags.
As this kind of fraud reporting and fraud contacting is increasingly outsourced to AI, bank customers will be conditioned to dealing with semi-automated systems that make stupid mistakes, force you to repeat yourself, ask you questions they should already know the answers to, and so on. In other words, AI will groom bank customers to be phishing victims.
This is a mistake the finance sector keeps making. 15 years ago, Ben Laurie excoriated the UK banks for their "Verified By Visa" system, which validated credit card transactions by taking users to a third party site and requiring them to re-enter parts of their password there:
https://web.archive.org/web/20090331094020/http://www.links.org/?p=591
This is exactly how a phishing attack works. As Laurie pointed out, this was the banks training their customers to be phished.
I came close to getting phished again today, as it happens. I got back from Berlin on Friday and my suitcase was damaged in transit. I've been dealing with the airline, which means I've really been dealing with their third-party, outsource luggage-damage service. They have a terrible website, their emails are incoherent, and they officiously demand the same information over and over again.
This morning, I got a scam email asking me for more information to complete my damaged luggage claim. It was a terrible email, from a noreply@ email address, and it was vague, officious, and dishearteningly bureaucratic. For just a moment, my finger hovered over the phishing link, and then I looked a little closer.
On any other day, it wouldn't have had a chance. Today – right after I had my luggage wrecked, while I'm still jetlagged, and after days of dealing with my airline's terrible outsource partner – it almost worked.
So much fraud is a Swiss-cheese attack, and while companies can't close all the holes, they can stop creating new ones.
Meanwhile, I'll continue to post about it whenever I get scammed. I find the inner workings of scams to be fascinating, and it's also important to remind people that everyone is vulnerable sometimes, and scammers are willing to try endless variations until an attack lands at just the right place, at just the right time, in just the right way. If you think you can't get scammed, that makes you especially vulnerable:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security
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Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
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soft-girl-musings · 8 months
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honestly grateful my parents go to visit their grandkids so much, starting to feel a bit warden-y here
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il-miele-che-scrive · 3 months
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Go for his brother part 3
Part 2
Part 1
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charles_leclerc The day @/y/n_leclerc and I decided to spent the forever together
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y/n_leclerc Did I mention I'm in love with you? 😭
↳charles_leclerc Yeah I think you mentioned that a few times in the vows, ma chérie
y/n_leclerc I love it when you call me french terms of endearment oh my god 😩
username1 SHE'S HOOKED
↳username2 FOR LIFE 🤞
pierregasly And I really thought I wouldn't see that day
↳y/n_leclerc Life's full of surprises isn't it?
username3 Charles calls her ma chérie, Arthur used to call her mon bébé 😭 do you get deja vu
↳username4 y/n: *breathes* y'all: do you get deja vu omg she used to breathe with Arthur 😭
↳username5 You remember mon bébé but do you remember chouchou? 😭
username3 OMG YES he used to call her chouchou and she used to call him Thurthur 😭
username4 GET. OVER. THEM. Y/n is now married to Charles BESIDES Arthur CHEATED on her. She deserved better than Arthur and now she has it.
pascale_leclerc Congratulations my loves ❤️😘 the wedding was beautiful
↳y/n_leclerc Merci maman🫶
↳username3 Pascale is just happy to have Y/n in her family and I live for this
username2 Maybe it was all Pascale's idea, when she found out Arthur cheated, she told Charles to keep Y/n in the family lmao
username3 And he stayed committed to the job💪
danielricciardo The instant photos part was awesome, I bet it was Y/n's idea
↳y/n_leclerc Yes it was 🫡and it was really nice to see you, Max, Lando and Carlos having lots of fun with it once the alcohol kicked in
charles_leclerc Not to mention now we have some things to blackmail you with
danielricciardo Bold of you to assume I'd be ashamed of any of these, Charles
carlossainz55 Looking forward to seeing Y/n in the paddock more often! 😊
↳y/n_leclerc You know, Carlos, some people have jobs... You should look it up sometime...🫶
↳username5 Is she now gonna go for Carlos lmao
scuderiaferrari Big day for our favorite couple ❤️ evviva gli sposi 👏
↳charles_leclerc Grazie mille❤️❤️
↳y/n_leclerc We're the favorite couple 🥹
georgerussell63 Even though you were engaged I didn't believe you'd actually do it until it happened
↳charles_leclerc Thanks George, supportive as always
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username1 That's what I call KARMA
username2 But when are we going to talk about the argument Arthur and Charles had before the wedding?
↳username3 What were you in their house? Lmao
username2 Another gossip page said that Arthur and Charles argued in front of the wedding chapel
username3 That's so unrealistic, don't trust everything you see on these pages
username4 Hey so do we know if there were any arguments?
↳f1gossip There's no way we'd have any information on that, it was a very private ceremony. That is highly doubtful though, I don't think this could've happened. Even Arthur knows better than acting like this on his brother's wedding day.
username3 That's so right, Arthur isn't dumb enough to act like a dick on his brother's wedding day, he knows it's his own fault
username5 Yeah it would be so weird if Arthur was playing angry now like man it's all consequences of your own actions, be an adult
username6 Even if it wasn't showing, Arthur was definitely dying on the inside. Imagine seeing your ex girlfriend at the altar next to your brother. You're thinking "it should be me with her", but it's too late
↳username7 One day Y/n and Charles will have kids, they'll be a happy family. Charles will have everything Arthur could want - a seat in F1, Y/n as his wife, little Leclerc(s) running around. Arthur will always be the "less successful" Leclerc. No wonder Lorenzo stays out of the spotlight
username8 Now you're making it sound depressing lol
username7 Tbh I cried a little thinking about this even though I know that's what Arthur deserves for cheating on Y/n
username9 I wonder what happened between Arthur and [ex best friend's name]
↳f1gossip She allegedly broke up with him and a few days later was seen on a date with a fellow Formula 2 driver.
username7 This keeps getting better
username9 WHO???? I NEED TO KNOW???
username8 I saw someone say she was seen with that Piñacolada guy
username9 Piñacolada?? Do you mean Franco Colapinto?? 💀
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y/n_leclerc Charles isn't my fiancé anymore 👰‍♀️🤵
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charles_leclerc I told you it's not the best way to say it
↳y/n_leclerc You can't stop me, tesoro
username1 OMG I've just noticed Y/n changed her username
↳username2 well, she got married...
lilymhe Wedding of the century
francisca.cgomes Every little girl dreams of a perfect wedding. That was this wedding
↳exbestfriend I've never dreamt of a wedding as a kid
francisca.cgomes Girl nobody asked
exbestfriend Why would a kid think about it? Don't they have better things to do? Like playing with toys and BEING A KID?
y/n_leclerc Pls not under my wedding post, get your jealous ass outta here
yoursister I'm so proud of you Y/n 😭
↳y/n_leclerc I know, you couldn't stop crying 😭
yoursister You know it were happy tears, I love you so much 😭
username3 LMAO [ex best friend's name]'s comments are pure comedy 💀 do you think she'll try to steal Charles now?
↳username4 Doesn't matter, Charles will never cheat on Y/n
arthur_leclerc You looked amazing
↳username2 Get the fuck out of this comment section
↳username3 All you can do about it now is cry, you wasted your chance
↳username4 The way Y/n doesn't even bother to reply
alex_albon I bet you wouldn't have the guts to wear the dress to the paddock next race
↳y/n_leclerc You're right, I won't 🙌 it's too beautiful to take any risks
charlottesiine Dream dress 🤍
↳y/n_leclerc I know right 🥹 when I saw it I knew right away THAT'S THE ONE
↳username5 wtf what's Cha doing here
username6 They follow each other since that one time they hung out together
username5 ahh the famous "we both suffered a Leclerc" thing
username7 GUYS I AM CRYING Cha said dream dress, I wonder if she's thinking it should be hers, like she should be in Y/n's place 🥹😭
↳username8 Y'all need to stop, first talking about Arthur, now about Charlotte. Go touch some grass
username7 but, unlike Y/nArthur, ChaCha broke up on good terms, so this could be her
username8 But it's not. Grow up. So disrespectful to talk about it on a wedding post
username9 I am really happy for Y/n and Charles. But I can't stop thinking this could be Y/n and Arthur. Or Charles and Charlotte
↳username7 I bet Arthur also can't stop thinking about this lmao he'll never find someone who'll love him as much as Y/n did
username9 Let's not go that far maybe...?
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username1 Their voices are so similar 😭 do you think Y/n sometimes accidentally calls Charles Arthur?
↳username2 Do you think she sometimes says the wrong name in bed? 💀
username3 This whole story, from the moment Arthur cheated to the end of this interview, is my Roman Empire
username4 I love that they stay on good terms even after what happened with Y/n
↳username1 In this exact interview Arthur said he didn't talk to Charles for WEEKS, he didn't even show up on the family dinners, until one day he understood he can only blame himself
username5 You can see that Arthur is happy for his big brother, but in his voice you can hear the pain 😭
username6 When Arthur said "Now I see what I did was hurtful and I'm glad it was Charles who took care of Y/n after it happened, instead of some random guy who would possibly repeat my mistake" it broke me 😭
↳username7 "Y/n is an amazing woman and I hope Charles will give her everything I couldn't." 😭😭
username8 when Ch asked "do you think you'd deserve a second chance? if Y/n and I weren't married, of course" as a joke and A replied "honestly? no, I was a douchebag and the cheating wasn't the only issue in our relationship, she truly deserved better" AND THEN GAVE HIS BROTHER A BIG SMILE WTF?? 😭😭
username9 At least he realizes his mistakes😭
username4 Not only cheating?? What else?? I need to know immediately
username8 They didn't say it in the video, I doubt they would ever say it publicly unless Y/n decides to speak about it (but I don't see why would she, being happily married now)
username10 They should release one interview of the Leclercs just talking about this whole Y/n situation
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y/n_leclerc Maybe it all happened a bit quick, but my husband is a race driver for a reason
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lilymhe I GASPED when I saw the caption
↳charles_leclerc I asked her nicely to look for some basic quote 🙁
pascale_leclerc Can't wait to meet our little Leclerc❤️
↳y/n_leclerc You'll be the first one to find out❤️
yoursister That's how I find out? Through a post?😭
↳y/n_leclerc I wanted to surprise you 🥹
yoursister I'm kidding, I'm happy for you guys 🩷
francisca.cgomes Someone check on Arthur
↳y/n_leclerc KIKA!!!!
↳username1 I love Kika 😭
↳username2 Jokes aside someone really needs to check up on him
arthur_leclerc It really suits you 🩷
↳y/n_leclerc Don't say that to Charles, he already told me he'd like 2 more 😭 I don't think I wanna go further than just this one
charles_leclerc I'm not gonna force you! If you wanna stop at one, that's fine by me
y/n_leclerc We can get a puppy instead? Right now it would be perfect so the puppy and the baby can entertain each other and grow up together
charles_leclerc Alright, ma chérie, we can talk about that 😂
↳username1 "I hope Charles gives her everything I couldn't" 😭 so that's what he meant
↳username2 Alexa play the one that got away by Katy Perry
username3 I just know Arthur will be the fun uncle omg
↳username4 I don't think he'll spend much time with the baby, if I were him it would always make me think "wow, that baby could be mine if I didn't mess up" 💀
username3 It seems like he understood his mistake and came to terms with the consequences. Plus, he didn't say it, but I feel like in the video shared by the gossip page he implied not wanting kids
username4 What do you mean? How?
username3 "I hope Charles gives her everything I couldn't" and then said the cheating wasn't the only reason for the breakup and now, a few weeks pass and we get the pregnancy announcement
username4 Well, maybe getting cheated on didn't work out so badly for Y/n in the end
alex_albon Project Verstappen? 😏
↳georgerussell63 *project Hamilton
charles_leclerc *project Leclerc 😌
alex_albon Better start saving up for the baby's therapy then
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charles_leclerc Welcome home, Jules Hervé Leclerc, born July 17 🤍
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stevieschrodinger · 7 months
Text
Part One
Baker Steve and Rock Star Eddie wrong number AU
Part two
"Steve! You have no idea!" Eddie's laughing, and that always makes Steve laugh, too. He's clearly a little tipsy. "Everyone went mad for the cake! It's was just, gone! Here, I'll send you some pictures!"
"I know what it looked like Eds," but Steve's grinning, knowing he's talking to empty air, can hear Eddie very vaguely mumbling to himself as he looks through his camera roll. Next to Steve' ear, his phone vibrates several times.
"Anyway, Stevie, I was thinking," Eddie's back now, still clearly tipsy but sounding uncharacteristically sheepish, "it's Christmas kind of soon right? Going to need a cake or two there. New year. Easter. Birthdays and bar mitzvahs and...and... independence day...so I was thinking I should get my orders in now, you know? Avoid disappointment."
"Eddie," Steve starts, finds himself turning shy himself, "you don't have to have a cake on order just to talk to me."
"I, ah, don't?"
"No, I mean, pretty sure we're friends, right?"
"Friends," Eddie starts slowly, "there's, like, lots of different kinds of friends."
"Sure, sure," Steve agrees easily, butterflies running rampant in his stomach, "there's even, kind of, more than friends, really."
"That sounds really really great-"
"Eddie!" There's a cacophony in the background, people shouting, "man, you're missing your own party-"
The line goes dead, and Steve's left standing in the dim light of the evening, just staring at tomorrow's cake order where it's cooling on the racks. A minute later, his phone buzzes in his hand, "so sorry baby, talk tomorrow."
Steve smiles at his phone. He had gone a little quiet after finding out who Eddie really is. It had kind of surprised him. But then Eddie had text him, "did I do something? 😞" and Steve realised Eddie's entitled to his privacy, the same as anyone.
"Hey Stevie, how's your day?"
Steve has Eddie on speaker phone as he mixes batter, "pretty good so far, you? You hungover?"
"No, no, didn't get that wasted, too old for that nonsense now, you know?"
Steve laughs, "aren't you like, 25?"
"I mean, maybe. Definitely old enough to, like, think about settling down, you know?"
Steve's breath catches in his throat, excitement and nerves after their interrupted conversation last night, "yeah, you, thinking about that? With, uhm, someone?"
"Yeah, I am, it's just..." Steve's heart sinks in his chest," my job, you know, I travel a lot, and that would be a sacrifice for anyone, and I couldn't ask someone to live with that, you know?"
"Well...what if it wasn't? What if they just...went with you?"
"What if...this person...had a job they loved? Their own business they worked hard for?"
"Yeah," Steve agrees slowly, "but what if...well, take me for example. I love to bake, but I don't love my business. That's just a means to an end, you know? I don't always love the orders, I'd choose to make something else if I was doing it for fun. So if it were me, i'd give it up in a heartbeat as long as I can keep baking."
"Yeah? You mean it?"
"Yeah. Yeah Eddie, I mean it."
"I, I mean, sure. Good. Thanks. I mean, not thanks, I mean, good, that's great."
Steve grins at Eddie's ramblings.
"I'll be away though, soon, for a couple of months, like four months, so, maybe, we could keep talking and when, I mean, if you want, what I get back..."
"I'd like that." Steve fist pumps, silently celebrating. "You never actually told me what you do for work?". Steve's teasing him, but Eddie doesn't know that Steve knows so, Steve grins to himself and keeps his voice even.
"I ah, music?"
"Yeah, you have mentioned that before, but what about it?" Steve knows he's being a dick, he just can't help it though.
"I ah, travel, with the band," Eddie starts slowly, and that is technically not a lie, Steve thinks, "and I kind of, look after some of the instruments and...have a lot to do with the sound checks? Like I'm definitely always there, for every sound check, like, I have to be."
All of that is probably true, Steve thinks, and god bless Eddie for not wanting to actually lie to Steve.
"Oh right, and what's the band called?"
"Oh, they're like, heavy metal, you've definitely never heard of them."
After they get off the call, Steve laughs all afternoon.
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Revenge, a Dish Served Colder than Snow || Young!Coriolanus Snow x Reader
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GIF by @kvtnisseverdeen and divider by @firefly-graphics
A/n: I'd just like to say that this is not book or movie accurate whatsoever. Finnick is not even alive yet when Coriolanus was in his early 20s. I just really wanted to include him in this because he's hot and I love him. Also, lets just imagine he has been gone long enough that the next hunger games was about to happen.
Warnings: choking, swearing if there are others lmk
Wc:
P.t 1 P.t 2
Coriolanus Snow Masterlist
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Previous
“Go fuck yourself Coriolanus,” You sneer at him as you turn around but was stopped when his hand takes a hold of your arm. “The fuck did you just say to me?” He scrunches his eyebrows, fury in his blue eyes. You shake off his grip, staring at him square on. “I said, to go fuck yourself. Or, if you find her, go fuck Lucy Gray!” You rage, spinning around and walking out of the bathroom.
Coryo stands there in utter disbelief at what had just happened moments earlier. The image of you causing a scene infront of everybody and that tribute from district 4, his hands roaming around your body shamelessly. He felt pure rage coursing through his veins as he slams his fist against the wall.
~
Coriolanus watched with curious eyes once he saw you enter the room. He hadn't seen you for a couple weeks after that day he came back and moaned out Lucy Gray's name while fucking you. Even under that masquerade mask, Snow could tell it was you.
His eyebrow quirks up when he notices a man by your side. "Who is that?" He points to the mysterious man beside you as Livia looks over to where he was pointing. A chuckle leaves her lips, "Jealous, snow?" She swirls the alcohol in her flute before taking a sip.
"That right there beside your dear y/n is none other than Finnick Odair," Livia wets her lips. "A tribute. From district 4," She continues as Coriolanus' eyes follow the two of you, Finnick's hand resting far too low on your back for his liking.
"What is a fucking tribute doing with her then?" He scoffs, leaning forward on his seat. "Has your time as peacekeeper in district 12 forgotten how much power Y/n has?" She looks at him as if he was an idiot. "She just vouched for him, convinced her daddy to let him stay with her." Liv shrugs.
Coriolanus lets out a scoff, "Are you jealous of a district boy? He is pretty handsome don't you think. A strong competitor for sure," She says before standing up and leaving Snow in his thoughts. A few minutes later, he gets up from where he was sitting and manoeuvres his body across the crowd of elitist members and other wealthy people of Panem.
"What are you doing here with him?" Snow pops a grape into his mouth as you pause your actions and look to him by your side. Of course he was going to be here. "And why do you care? Coriolanus?" You chastise, "Do not. Call me that," He mutters at you, a stern expression on his face as you smirk.
"Well, if you must know. I took a liking to the tribute and let's just say, gotten quite comfortable with each other," A smile makes it to your lips as you could see Snow visibly annoyed. "He's a fucking tribute-" "Oh isn't that rich coming from you, Snow?" You let out a laugh as you face him. "That's exactly what I thought when I questioned your intentions with Lucy-" "Y/n, don't" "And there you were. Moaning her fucking name while inside me!"
You harshly say as a couple people around pause to look at you both. Coriolanus could tell you had drunk a bit more than you could handle. "Y/n, let's talk somewhere else," He takes your hands, ready to pull you away. You yank his grip off of you.
"No! I'm not done!" Snow runs a hand down his face at your loud outburst. "I never knew that you could stoop so fucking low you know. First it was cheating so that your precious tribute would win, and then you go chase her in her district and-" You couldn't finish your sentence as Coriolanus lurches towards him, hand gripping the base of your neck as your look at him in horror.
He squeezes it enough to make you shut up and gasp slightly for air. The people around you gasp at what had just happened. "Shut the fuck up. Shut your mouth before I do something I will regret," He spat, his hand squeezing as he shakes you."Get off of her!" Finnick shouts, pulling Snow away from you as you hold onto him, your hand touching your neck.
You then push Finnick away before doing something that further fueled the fire inside Coriolanus. You bowed. Just like her. Exactly like how Lucy Gray bowed at the reaping ceremony. A few stifled laughs could be heard throughout the room as Coriolanus looks horrified. He gulps, loosening his tie as you smirk at him
Coriolanus quickly leaves the room, breathing heavily as he runs his hands through his hair. He didn’t know what took over him. But he saw red the second you mentioned Lucy Gray. He swore he never intended to harm you. But he couldn’t help it.
His pent up emotions from the past couple of weeks needing diffusing. And you were pretty darn good at pushing specific buttons within him. Coriolanus caught glimpse of your figure entering the bathroom, he follows you whilst looking around, making sure no one was around.
You stared at yourself in the mirror, tears brimming your eyes as you study your neck, already bruising from his iron like grip. You were horrified, shocked, and most of all hurt, by Coriolanus. He never once touched you with such violence and he always reassured you that he would never hurt you and here you were. Crying in the bathroom stalls.
Even after the events that occurred when he came back, you couldn’t stop thinking about Coryo. You just couldn’t help yourself. He was your first everything. You lean your hands on the counter as you drop your head, tears cascading down your cheeks.
Coriolanus immediately heard your cries the minute he’s close to the bathroom door. He pauses. Leans his ear against the door and lets out sigh before entering. His entrance caught you by surprise as you stumble back upon seeing his tall figure.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you.” He says, sadness and guilt laced in his tone as he looks at you in sympathy, his eyes flickering your neck where he caused damage. You refused to meet his eyes as you turn your head to the side.
“But you should know better than to publicly humiliate me infront of everyone-“ A loud scoff emits your lips as you turn to him. “Go fuck yourself Coriolanus,” You sneer at him as you turn around but was stopped when his hand takes a hold of your arm. “The fuck did you just say to me?” He scrunches his eyebrows, fury in his blue eyes. You shake off his grip, staring at him square on. “I said, to go fuck yourself. Or, if you find her, go fuck Lucy Gray!” You rage, spinning around and walking out of the bathroom.
Coryo stands there in utter disbelief at what had just happened moments earlier. The image of you causing a scene infront of everybody and that tribute from district 4, his hands roaming around your body shamelessly. He felt pure rage coursing through his veins as he slams his fist against the wall.
Before you walk through the door, you stop and turn to face him. His expression angry, his hands were bawled up into fists, the wall beside him had a whole where he punctured it with his hand. “Don’t ever try talking to me again, Coriolanus. I mean it. Or I’ll do something you’ll regret.” You conclude before turning back around and walking away.
Coriolanus Snow knew without a doubt that you were capable of so many things that would hurt him, and his reputation. And he did not need further damage. So he listened. Regret seeped into him every single day as he left you alone. He would always watch you from afar though, he loved you, there was no denying.
What occurred that day with Lucy Gray was a mistake, a mistake he wished he could take back more than anything.
Taglist: @valenftcrush @ghostlycrystobalove @esquivelbianca @duds31 @threeinchminimum @shadowsepiphany @novacaneformybrain @crazylokonugget @unclecrunkle @darkqweenn @marihoneywk @beckinator7 @stelleduarte @1950schick @celineandtulips
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scribbledghost · 5 months
Note
Simon having sex with reader on the Thanksgiving dinner table? Maybe he comes home from work really late to a table full of food and reader looking pretty as ever, and he decides to show his gratitude.🥴😏
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Welcome Home
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader (no y/n)
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 2,009
Warnings: oral (F receiving), table sex, dirty talk, praise, use of "good girl", tongue clicks from Simon
Note: Everyone say "Thank you @sillylittlereader " for fueling my feral Scribs-brained behavior (Also everyone say "thank you anon" bc that addition made me literally lol). Gonna combine these two cause I caaaaaan. Happy Wanksgiving all! Hopefully yall enjoy my first attempt at full smut after many, many moons.
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As soon as Simon opens the front door and steps inside, he knows he's in for a good evening.
The smell of food hits him immediately, the house warmer than usual from where you'd been cooking. He discards his boots and follows the scent into the kitchen, where he finds you milling about and putting another dish onto the counter. It joins several others, and he's quick to notice at least a couple of his favorites.
"Now what's all this?" He says with a grin. You look back at him with a matching look.
"Dinner," you say simply. "I know doing day work and training on-base isn't your favorite, so I figured I'd make a nice, big meal for you. Everything's on the counter, table's cleaned off, so all you have to do is make your plate and eat."
A warm feeling constricts Simon's chest, and he finds himself unable to resist striding towards you and pulling you in for a kiss.
And another.
And another.
As he parts from you, hands on your hips as you look at him with a lidded gaze, he realizes there's one thing he wants before he enjoys the work you've put into welcoming him home.
"I know it's technically bad form, love," he rumbles, guiding you by the hips back towards the table, "but maybe you could let me have dessert first, yeah?"
"Oh, I suppose I can allow it. Just this once," you reply with a sly grin that he matches.
With that, he hefts you up onto the table and takes a seat between your legs. 
He wastes little time lifting your shirt just enough to press a few hot, open-mouthed kisses to your stomach. From there, he helps you quickly divest yourself of your pants and underwear, grabbing both and helping you lift yourself from the table just long enough for him to pull both off in one fluid motion. 
When the garments land on the floor, Simon hooks his arms beneath your legs, pulls you closer to him, and buries his face in you.
If there is one thing Simon does well when he's not in the field, it's eating. He devours you like a man starved, like he'll never get another chance to taste you. He dips his tongue into you before sliding it up to your clit, kissing and sucking and lapping at you in a practiced manner he knows works. As much as he knows he should give you a few of his fingers to help stretch you open for what is to come, he can't help but forgo the courtesy, too invested in tasting your slick to waste any.
"Taste so fucking good, baby," he moans, "can't get enough of this cunt. Never get enough of you."
He's telling the truth. He could spend hours with his head buried between your thighs. In fact, he has before. He wonders if you'll be so kind as to let him do it again tomorrow morning; have him wake you with his tongue and continue like that until you start pushing him away.
But that's a thought for later. For now, he's got much more important matters to attend to.
He feels your hand grab his hair, a low groan tearing from his lungs as you pull him deeper into you. The hands on your skin tighten their grip, his brows knit together in concentration.
"That's it love," he says, voice muffled by your cunt, "take what you want from me."
Your hips buck against him and he follows, cock hard and twitching in his pants as you moan for him. He knows you're close by the way your thighs shake in his grasp, and he's determined to all but drag you over the edge.
Your breathing gets shallower, interspersed with staccato moans and whines. You breathe his name into the air, and Simon growls against your heat.
"That's it love," he encourages again, "be good and cum for me, yeah?"
With that, he returns to his task at hand, laser-focused on getting what he wants.
And what he wants is for you to smother him. What he wants is for you to envelop him, make it so nothing else so much as touches any of his senses.
He wants - no, needs - to make you feel good. To help you fall from the precipice and lose yourself to what he's giving you.
And fall you do.
With a sharp cry of his name, he feels your sex clench and twitch against his mouth as you come undone beneath him. He helps you through it, moaning soft, affirmative "mhm"s as you ride your orgasm to its end.
When you slump against him, muscles finally relaxing, he gives you one last lick with the flat of his tongue before moving to kiss your thighs.
"Good girl," he says softly, "so, so good for me."
He begins a slow ascent, nudging his nose against the hem of your shirt and pushing it upwards so he can mouth at the skin just beneath it.
After pressing a few more kisses to your abdomen and stomach, he stands, removing his shirt and using it to somewhat dry his face before discarding it. 
"Look so fuckin' pretty when you cum," he says as he leans in to kiss you properly. "Never gonna get tired of watchin' you."
Simon's hips rut against you as his tongue dips into your mouth, a light hum leaving him as he hears you whine softly.
"I know, baby," he murmurs apologetically against your lips, "I know you're still sensitive. Jus' can't help it, yeah? Wanna make sure you're nice and wet before I take you."
It's an excuse, and both of you know it. Simon knows you're plenty ready for him, especially after one orgasm, but he's allowing himself to be selfish. To give himself a taste of you before he devours you again in another way. In the depths of his brain, he wonders if some of your slick will coat his belt. Wonders if it will dry there, where he will carry it with him the next time he wears it to base. An invisible mark of ownership.
He could keep going, keep grinding against you until he comes undone without ever even removing his own pants.
But that simply will not do. Not for Simon. And after you whine again against his mouth, the overstimulation on your clit no doubt bordering on painful, he gives you mercy.
At least, that's what he tells himself as he unbuckles his belt and undoes his pants, pushing them just far down enough with his briefs to release his cock from its confines.
"See what you do to me, love?" he says lowly as he slides gently against your heat, coating himself in a mix of your spend and his precum. 
Then, deciding he's had enough teasing for one afternoon, Simon begins the slow push into you.
He's not a small man, and he knows it. Saying so doesn't come from a place of inflated ego, but rather from real, practical experience, both with you and past lovers. He guides himself into you as gently as he's able, not wanting the pressure he knows you must feel to turn into pain.
But then, as his hips are about halfway to you, he notices something.
You've closed your eyes.
And, again, that simply will not do.
"Hey. Hey," he says gruffly before he clicks his tongue twice at you, "eyes open, love. Want you to look at me while I stuff you full."
You give him a bleary look, eyelids just barely obeying his command as he continues to push deeper into you. 
The pair of you erupt in joint moans when the front of his thighs meet your body. Simon leans forward to rest his forehead against yours as he catches his breath.
"Fuck, love, you feel so fucking good," he breathes into the space between you. 
"So do you," you answer in an equally breathless tone. 
Simon surges forward to kiss you, keeping his lips on yours as he begins to roll his hips. Your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him impossibly closer to you. 
As much as he wants to draw this out, as much as he wants to start slowly and build up until you're both tense and begging for release, he simply can't find it in himself to wait any longer. His hips seem to move of their own accord, snapping into you and punching moans from your lungs. 
When he pulls back for a moment to stand and watch your body, he notices that your eyes are once again closed as you're lost to the pleasure he's giving you.
"Show me those pretty eyes, love," he says softly. When you only whine in response, he reluctantly stills his thrusts.
"Hey, eyes on me," he says more harshly, once again clicking his tongue at you. "You open those eyes and look at me."
You slowly obey, and he feels you clench around him when he clicks his tongue. When he's satisfied that you're watching, he begins his thrusts again.
"There she is," he says breathlessly with a grin. "There's my girl."
He holds your gaze as he continues, fucking into you at an increasing pace. He is enraptured by you. By your voice, by your body, by your gaze. He chases his high, but quickly realizes there's something important that he's forgotten.
"Reach down and touch yourself for me, love," he commands. "Want you to give me one more before I fill you."
To your credit, you do as he asks, reaching a hand down to rub at your clit as he continues to thrust into you. The action catapults Simon impossibly closer to his peak, though by some grace he manages to hold himself together as you chase another orgasm.
It doesn't take as long as Simon assumes it will for you to come again. Or perhaps it does. Time has long since become an abstract concept to Simon, just as it always does when he's inside of you like this. Nevertheless, he feels your walls flutter around him as you sigh his name.
"Good girl," he croons to you as you come, "good girl."
Once you come down, he throws his self-restraint to the wind and surges towards his own orgasm in earnest. 
"Gonna cum, love," he says, leaning in to touch his forehead to yours again. "Gonna fill you up, make you mine."
You don't respond in words, but he feels a hand grab the back of his head as you pull his lips to yours. 
A groan rips through his body as Simon comes, stilling inside of you as his cock twitches. He moans out some approximation of your name against your lips as he loses himself.
An indeterminate amount of time later, when the two of you part and begin to catch your breath, you lock eyes.
And you both laugh.
A light, beautiful sound.
"Well, can't say I was expecting that," you say.
"Had to thank you somehow, love," he quips. 
He helps you to sit up, tucking himself back into his pants as he leaves his shirt on the floor and his belt unbuckled. He aids you in putting your pants and underwear back on, softly promising to help you shower after you both eat.
"After all," he says as he kisses you, "it'd be a tragedy to let all this food get any colder than it is already."
You laugh softly at him.
"And whose fault would that be, Mr. Riley?"
"Yours," he says with a teasing nip to your shoulder, "not my fault you looked good enough to eat."
The soft, good-natured groan you give him as you lightly shove him from you warms his heart. On the field, he prides himself on being cold, calculated, and for leaving little room for anything else. But here, in his home, with you by his side, he feels like the battlefield is a thousand years away.
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bleedingoptimism · 5 months
Text
Steve likes to watch youtube videos of a guy who restores old consoles. It soothing to him, it relaxes him. He likes watching how he restores them, fixes them, makes them look brand new.
He also enjoys watching him work for… other reasons. Weirdly, he thinks the guy is kind of hot, even if he never shows his face. He looks fit, with the way his shirts stretch over his chest and are loose on his tiny waist and he’s always wearing cool belts, black leather with studs or chains. He likes the way he moves around, manic and a little clumsy but incredibly precise when necessary.
Steve especially likes watching his hands, thick strong fingers, bony wrists, noticeable veins, and short clean nails that sometimes have chipped black polish adorning them.
He sometimes thinks about those hands when he's alone, but, well… no one needs to know about that.
🎮🤲💖
Eddie has a fairly popular youtube channel… And a huge crush on his next-door neighbor. He simply cannot decide if the dude is cutter than hot or vice-versa.
'He sure is nice, though,' he thinks, when one day he gets a large package of replacement parts that he’s struggling to get inside and the guy walks up to him, asks if he needs any help, and takes the heaviest box with no effort at all.
He says his name is Steve and then stares at Eddie's hand for a really long time when Eddie extends it for him to shake after getting the boxes inside his studio.
He hears Steve’s little 'oh', under his breath and then sees him blush prettily before mumbling ‘He needs to go, now.' And stumbling out of Eddie’s place.
Eddie chuckles to himself as he watches him leave, definitely cute AND hot in equal parts.
🎮🤲💖
A few weeks later Steve's mom tells him she needs help getting rid of some of his nonno's old things and he finds a LOT of cool stuff that look just like the ones Eddie restores on his channel.
He and Eddie have been slowly getting friendlier over these last couple of weeks and he’s been dying to have an excuse to talk to him more, so he takes the items home and then goes to Eddie's and very nervously tries to offer them to him but doesn't know how to explain he knows he's a youtuber without looking like a weirdo because Eddie’s never shown his face.
He stumbles and blushes a lot, barely making any sense and Eddie mistakenly thinks he's trying to ask him out and says, 
"I'd love to go on a date with you," Smiling and hiding his dimples behind a lock of hair he's been playing with since the moment Steve started stuttering.
Steve completely forgets what he was trying to say or do and says he'll pick him out at 6.
The date is amazing, it feels like they are meant to be. They get along so well, talking, laughing, and already making fun of each other as if they’re old friends. And they are definitely attracted to one another. If the way Eddie practically tackles Steve with his rush to get his mouth on him when they get back, it’s any indication.  
Steve is very on board with this and he enthusiastically kisses him back. They kiss desperately as he fumbles with his door handle to get it open. When he succeeds, he walks them backward into his place not wanting to stop kissing Eddie, but stumbles and falls flat on his ass.
When Eddie turns on the light he sees Steve sprawled on top of a bunch of boxes full of old technology. A lot of emotions go through his face, ‘he’s so expressive’ Steve thinks a little enamored, having still not realized how much trouble he’s in.
But Eddie looks confused, then shocked and scared, and finally, angry,
"Steve, what the fuck?"
‘Oh, shit…’
“I can explain!” he says immediately, standing up and walking toward Eddie as he backs away,
“I didn’t want to ask you out-” Steve starts but interrupts himself when Eddie huffs, turns, and starts walking towards his own apartment, “Shit, fuck! No- That’s not what I meant, Eddie! Wait-”
He turns again and glares at Steve but then his eyes go wide, “Steve,”
“Please, let me explain-”
“Steve-”
“I did- do! Want to ask you out! I like yo-”
“Steve!” Eddie screams and Steve stops, shocked, and finally focuses. Eddie is staring at him and he’s so pale even his freckles have changed color. But no, wait. He’s not staring at him, he’s staring at his arm and Steve looks down to see… a lot of blood.
“Oh,” he says faintly. He must have cut himself on a sharp edge when he fell. Too worried about Eddie, he hadn’t even noticed the pain, but now that he’s seeing the cut, it fucking hurts.
“Oh,” he says again, realizing he’s feeling kind of dizzy, ‘that's way too much blood,’ he thinks.
“Jesus Christ!” Eddie huffs, takes off his flannel shirt and wrapping it around Steve's arm, he pulls Steve by his other hand toward his van.
“Oh no, your cute shirt,” he mumbles and hears Eddie snort before he slams the door of the passenger seat and goes to the driver’s one.
They go to the hospital in silence. It's tense. Steve tries to explain himself but Eddie shuts him up harshly, tells him to save his energy.
Even so, when they get there, Eddie still holds him gently by his good arm as he helps him inside. He tells the nurse what happened because Steve is having a hard time focusing right now and then tells him he’ll wait outside for him.
He gets stitches and a tetanus shot just in case because he doesn't remember when was the last time he got one and gets weird looks when he refuses painkillers, but no arguments. He’s given a little juice box and is told he can't get up until he finishes it.
A few seconds after the nurse leaves, the door opens and Eddie walks in. Steve looks up and smiles at him, but Eddie doesn’t smile back and Steve shrinks a little on himself.
Eddie sits on the chair facing the overbed table Steve is perched on and sighs, moving his hand in little circles motioning like, ‘Well go on. Explain yourself’
Steve looks around the room and thinks about where to start. He can't look Eddie in the eye, so he stares at the little juice box in his hands. It's got a cartoon orange in the front. The drawing it’s awful and kind of scary.
Taking a deep breath, he starts, “I've been watching your videos for a long time now. I have- I am- I-”
He fumbles for what to say, even if this date is already ruined…it's not exactly a good first date topic, is it? How fucked up he’s inside.
In a flash, images of his father’s violence, running from home with his mom, going to live with his nonno, taking care of him as he slowly lost his mind with age while his mom worked her ass off to feed them, getting cheated on, losing his “friends” because he didn't want to bully freshmen, working as a babysitter and getting almost beat up to death by his kid’s stepbrother… he shakes his head and shrugs,
“I've been through some…stuff” is what he says in the end, looking up at Eddie. He doesn't look mad anymore, his expressive eyes look concerned. Steve worries about what was it Eddie saw in his own expression, but it surprises him how easily he read him. He’s usually so good at hiding it. 
He breathes in again and keeps going, “Your videos, they calm me down when I've, sometimes I get anxious and-” he clears his throat, again, not wanting to tell Eddie about the panic attacks, the nightmares.
But it seems he doesn't have to, Eddie looks at him like he gets it.
It makes Steve want to keep talking, “Watching you work, seeing you fix things, leave them like new, no sca- marks, no problems, just working again and beautifully clean. It makes me feel better.” 
Eddie gives him a small smile and Steve returns it, “I really like your hands…” he blurts out and then closes his mouth quickly, blushing furiously.
Eddie’s eyes go wide and then he smirks and stands up slowly walking up to him and taking Steve’s hands on his own, they both stare at their joined hands for a while, the touch feather-like and soft.
“You recognized me because of my hands?” Eddie asks him a little incredulous.
Steve giggles, “I saw the logo for your channel on your studio that day I helped you with the boxes,” he clarifies sheepishly.
Eddie blushes and opens his mouth in a silent ‘oh,’
Steve draws small circles on Eddie's knuckles with his thumbs, “When I came over today, I was just trying to offer you those stuff at my place, they were my grandfather's” he explains, “I didn’t know how to say I knew who you were without looking like a weirdo and I got nervous and you thought I was going to ask you out and I wasn’t planning to but you are so beautiful I-
Eddie kisses his cheek and Steve shuts up and looks at him surprised,
“I’m sorry I freaked out,” Eddie says, “I thought- I don’t know what I thought- I was just upset you didn’t actually like me.” 
And Steve immediately answers, “I like you” a little too excitedly.
Eddie smiles at him so warmly it makes his heart rate pick up, “Good. I like you too.”
He blushes and looks down at their hands again unsure, “Do you really? Even tho I’m…”
“What?” Eddie asks, squeezing his hands reassuringly.
“Broken?” Steve whispers.
Eddie hums and drops his hands to hold his face, “Not broken, baby” he says lovingly and kisses the crease between Steve’s brows, the top of his eyelid, his nose, and the corner of his mouth. Then hugs him and Steve buries his face on Eddie's neck, and breathes him in.
A minute goes by or an hour, Steve is not sure, and Eddie leans back enough to kiss him again softly and whispers, “Some things don't need to be fixed Steve, just held.” 
𝒻𝒾𝓃
coffee? a hug? ☕🥐💕
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keerysfreckles · 18 days
Note
hiii!!!! lando and best friend reader and shes gotten into one of those sad days because shes thinking of how shes never dated anyone or had her first kiss or anything. and he offers to take her out on a date as friends and thats when he realizes hes in love with her (shes been in love with him this whole time). but they dont really say anything, but they just get increasingly more affectionate as best friends as the days go by. and everyone around them can see theyre so in love with each other - 🍒anon
loveless — LN4
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pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
warnings: use of y/n and she/her pronouns, slight swearing
a/n: lando p5 in japan HE WAS SO CLOSE TO BEING ON PODIUM
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ 。 ⋆ ୨୧ ˚
y/n loved her small apartment in monaco. she loved it so much in fact that she's convinced her best friend that she's fine staying in day after day.
however if you got to know y/n, you'd learn this is out of the ordinary for the girl. usually she'd be out partying with lando, or hanging around the other members of the f1 grid. not sulking in her bathrobe and pajamas for three days in a row.
on the fourth day she recieved multiple texts from her best friend, lando norris, asking if she wanted to go out for drinks with him and a couple of friends.
y/n groaned, after reading the messages more than once. she really didn't have the energy to go out. not since her almost date last week didn't go as planned.
she met a rather attractive uni student on tinder, and they talked for a few days to get to know each other. less than a week later they planned to have dinner at a nice monegasque restaurant.
long story short, said tinder date never showed up, and never texted y/n the next morning explaining himself.
before the 'date' y/n didn't really believe in love. so of course, this screwed up with her perception of it even more.
lando was informed about the date, and was happy for y/n. he knew her history of falling in love was bleak, and he just wanted to be happy for her. so seeing his best friend wrapped up in three colorful blankets in her messy bedroom put a damper in his mood.
"what did i tell you about laying in the dark?" lando's voice surprises y/n. she jumps, before pausing her netflix show on her laptop.
"lan? what are you doing here?" she sits up, her eyes adjusting to the light lando just turned on.
lando sits on the edge of the bed, moving the laptop away from y/n, causing her to sit up as well.
"well you never answered my texts about going out tonight, so i figured i'd come here. plus you gave me that apartment key years ago."
y/n sighs. she knows she doesn't have the energy to go out tonight. "do i have to?"
lando sends y/n a sympathetic look. "maybe it could get your mind off that douche who stood you up last week. he obviously missed out on getting to know a great girl."
y/n's heart warmed at lando's words. he always knew how to cheer her up after she fell down.
y/n lets out a groan and falls back onto her pillows, her blankets encasing her once again.
"what if i never fall in love?" y/n thinks out loud. "or never go on a proper date? or mever even have my first kiss?"
lando's eyebrows furrow, "you've never had your first kiss?"
y/n takes the opportunity to kick his thigh, "yes shitbird, you know this." she lets out a small chuckle as he groans from the attack.
lando recalls her words again, "wait you've never been on a date either?"
y/n shakes her head, "nope."
"so that's why you're so beat up about this one not working out. i get it now," lando stands and walks towards y/n's opened closet door.
y/n sits up again, "lando what are you doing? i told you i don't feel like going out tonight."
lando ignores her for a moment as he continues sifting through her closet. his eyes and hands stop on a light purple dress.
"you still have this?" he holds it at an angle so y/n can see from her bed.
she nods, "of course. i've never gotten rid of any birthday present from you."
lando silently takes it off the hanger and throws it on the bed, making y/n confused.
"you and i are going out tonight," lando says confidently. "i'm taking you on a proper date. i'll text pierre, charles and carlos that i'll go out with them some other time."
y/n stares at him dumbfounded. she can't believe lando is taking her out on a date.
"when you say a proper date, what exactly does that entail?" y/n wonders, now removing her blankets from her body.
lando starts looking through y/n's very impressive shoe collection. "a very nice drive to an expensive restaurant, possinly with a candle lit dinner. you and i enjoying the best monegasque food we can. and maybe end the date with a classic near-the-front-door kiss."
y/n's taken back by his words again. she can't believe what she's hearing.
lando places a pair of white heels beside the dress on the bed, and leans forward slightly. "i'll be waiting in your living room, okay?" and with that, he kisses her forehead. the motion's been done a million times, but this time however felt different for the both of them.
y/n stares at her now closed bedroom door, and chuckles in disbelief while picking up the dress. maybe this was the push she needed to get out there again. party with her friends, and maybe go on more dates.
so she did as lando told. she was quick to brush through her hair, and change into the dress and heels. she styled it with silver jewelry and made sure to grab her small handled clutch before leaving her room.
lando stands from the couch. "now i think you look much better in this, than being covered in blankets."
y/n blushes at his words.
"do you have an idea of where we're going?" she locks her apartment door behind her, before lando leads her down the stairs with his hand on her lower back.
lando was starstuck.
during the ride to the restaurant, all the way up until they got the bill. (of course being the gentleman he is, he paid.)
he could barely take his eyes off y/n. he saw them shimmer as she spoke about her new job starting this month. he noticed how excited she got when he parked outside her favorite fancier restaurant.
now he was holding her heels for her, after giving her his jacket once the midnight air hit her skin. they were walking along the streets of monaco, planning on doing a little wrap around the block to get back to lando's car.
as the duo was talking and walking, they're arms kept brushing against each others. y/n couldn't help but giggle almost everytime, thanks to the white wine slowly making it's way in her system from dinner.
lando thought it was the best sound in the world.
on the way back to y/n's apartment, lando contemplated resting his hand over her thigh. she sat towards him, angling her body, so in theory he easily could hold onto her leg. however he refrained, but his heartbeat sped up when he felt y/n grab his right hand. she played with his fingers, and ending up enclosing her hand in his. he hummed at the feeling.
"so, we've done almost everything on my list to get you to have a perfect date," lando speaks as the pair stops right in front of y/n's door.
"what are we missing?" y/n asks, forgetting what he had stated earlier in the evening.
lando smiles down at the girl, his pupils dilating. "in order for you to have a perfect date, we have to have a near-the-front-door kiss."
y/n instantly blushes. she's thought about kissing lando before, but never thought any of her daydreams would become a reality.
lando steps forward and places his unoccupied hand on her pink cheek. he runs his thumb over the skin, and notices her pupils becoming wider.
"so what do you say?" lando almost whispers, the rasp in his voice becoming evident.
y/n looks between his eyes, and can't come up with a complete sentence as her mind falls blank.
silently y/n stands on her tip toes and grabs lando's face between her hands. she brings him down to her to connect their lips.
his taste like chocolate, from the slice of cake he ordered for dessert. hers taste like sugar and cinnamon from the cocktail she had at the end of the night.
lando brings his other hand around to y/n's back. she can't help but smile against his lips at the feeling of his arm around her. in the hundreds of times she's pictured kissing her best friend, it never ended like this.
the two finally pulled away, both of their cheeks blushed and pupils wide.
they both let out a rather large breath, and in the span of three seconds, y/n's opening her apartment door with lando following right on her tail. before they can fully step inside, lando's lips meet hers again, and lando definitely plans on spending the night.
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cemeterything · 5 months
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hi james can you please elaborate vis-a-vis the ex that broke up with you because he realized he was into xenomorphs
yeah sure. so a few years ago i was dating this guy and we decided to do a movie marathon together and agreed on the alien films, since he hadn't seen any of them and i'd only seen the bad ones (prometheus and covenant). so we did that, and then afterwards, when i went home, i got a text from him saying something like "i bet there's loads of weird fetish art out there involving the xenomorphs". and i was like well yeah obviously. but he kept going on about it and i pretty quickly realized that he was trying to get me to point him in the direction of said art, because i was more online than him so clearly i must know where to find it. so i did some research, collected some links, and sent them to him to satisfy his curiosity. a couple of days later he tells me he thinks we should break up. i don't have any way to prove for certain that it was the alien porn that did it but i have my suspicions.
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elliespectacular · 2 months
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Hi! I'm sure you probably get asked this a lot given your long-time standing with the YTP community, but I was curious if you had any beginner tips for a newer YTPers hoping to learn the trade? I've been on and off editing videos for a couple years now using whatever free-ish programs I can work with until I have a steady income, but I'd love to hear any suggestions you may have about editing videos YTP style in general as well! So far sentence-mixing has been my favorite part of the process. Been a huge fan of your channel since I was a little kid, my older bro introduced me with the 'Lord of Da Things' video ages ago. To this day I can't watch The Fellowship of the Ring without falling out in laughter. It makes me so happy to see that you're still doing your thing, all these years later too. Take care and have an awesome day!
Tips for beginners:
Make any* joke that pops into your head. Did you laugh out loud at any point while editing the joke? Keep it in. No? Cut it.
Make "random" edits, like edits where you don't have a specific goal. Reverse stuff for the hell of it, make cuts in unintuitive spots, throw in some effects you've never tried before. Experiment and get inspired by what happens!
YTP is as low-stakes as it gets. Sometimes it can be rewarding to challenge yourself a little bit and make a joke more complex than usual, but there's nothing wrong with cutting some corners**. It can add to the charm in a way.
Post what you make and don't get too bogged-down by whether it's "good" or whatever. Show it to people, find out what makes them laugh, what they find interesting, and think about why those things connect with people.
For sentence-mixing, it's handy to have a transcript of the source video handy so you can ctrl+f for words/phrases/syllables
*Don't do anything distasteful or make people say things you'd be ashamed to repeat. I'm not gonna stop you or anything, but don't do anything you think you might eventually regret.
**Shortcuts can be things like reusing a piece of sentence-mixing or an animation you've already done, or repeating a joke that applies in multiple contexts. If you use AI in the current year I *will* wag my finger and nod disapprovingly.
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lavishlyleo · 5 months
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Astrology Observations 5
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One thing I've noticed with Gemini Moons is that while they do love to talk to people and share their thoughts, if they aren't interested in the conversation's topic or if you stay on one topic for too long, they tend to zone out. If they aren't very invested in the convo at hand it will be VERY noticeable (e.g. blank stares, they suddenly go very quiet, dry repetitive responses, checking their phone frequently).
The same can be said for individuals with a lot of Air in their charts in general, especially Gemini and Libra. It can be hard to keep these individuals attention for prolonged periods of time. They like to cut to the interesting part so keep what you have to say very brief and to the point.
Not something Leo Moons are known for, but that I've noticed is that they can be really good at analyzing peoples behavior. Like, they'll see how someone acts and can make connections to their own behavior to understand some elses emotions and feelings. It's how many Leo Moons relate to people, bonus points if their Moon is in a water house!
In your Natal chart, if your ruling planet 's transit is in opposition or square with your natal ruling planet's sign, it can indicate a period of bad luck and hardship. It may feel like the world is against you at the moment, especially if said aspect is in a less than 5° orb. Not a great transit aspect to have.
For example, My ruling planet is Jupiter (Sag Rising) and it's in Scorpio at 9°. IRONICALLY ENOUGH, in my Solar Return chart for this year, Jupiter is in Taurus at 9°. So I'm expecting a lot to happen this year. Later on this year I'll make an update on this aspect.
If you have Scorpio or Pisces in your SR top 3 this year, don't take this lightly!! Like I said in my last post with manifestations, this will be a year that your manifestation power is at an all time high! You may literally speak things into existence, for better or for worse.
On the topic of Scorpio/Pisces SR top three, my advice for this (and I'm speaking from experience) is try to think about things you want to happen, not things you don't want or like. For example, if you think about how much you don't like a certain person, later on down the line you may find yourself suddenly coming back in contact with that person a lot more, when either you wanted to or not.
People with Cancer personal placements, I'd advise you to frequently check the Moon's transit and positions! Whenever it's the full or new moon, keep tabs on what happens those days and how you feel. Let me know in the comments anything interesting that's happened to yall during those times!
I've said this once and I'll say it again, Scorpio Mars are some of the most PERSISTENT people I've ever seen. When it comes to their desires, NOTHING stands in their way. However this can be detrimental if it's bad habits like drinking, smoking, stealing, ect. One way or another they will get what they want, even if it costs them everything. These people can truly be the victim of their own desires. Honorary mention- Taurus and Leo Mars.
Listen, if you ever need someone to promote your music, call an Aquarius Venus/Dominant person. I swear to god these people listen to the most obscure, outta pocket things I've ever heard.
Taurus 6th/5th housers tend to be those people at work that live by the slow and steady motto. They don't like to rush and do a sloppy job on whatever their working on.
On the other hand, Aries 6th/5th housers may be very fast workers, and it usually works well for them, works well under pressure. not the most thorough people but for the most part they get the job done.
People with a lot of Gemini and Leo placements in their chart tend to give off Aries energy.
Capricorn and Scorpio relationships are literally ride or die. I know a couple with many of these placements and they are so possessive of each other. Even after heated arguments and many hardships, they always come back together and work out their issues, it's really sweet!
When in an awkward situation, Libra Risings tend to try and break the tension first. Sometimes they can make the situation more awkward doing this but they're always the ones to bring the vibes back to the way they were, so I appreciate it. Gemini Risings may also do this but can be slightly more unhinged in their methods. I love both regardless for it😭💕.
The reason puberty for all of us hits hard is because it's around this time that Saturn is usually in the sign opposite from our Saturn sign. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it, itcchanges a lot of what we focus on and introduces us to new struggles. Although with Saturn retrograde, the age of which these changes can affect us can range from 13 all the way up to 25. Saturn is trying to toughen us up before we become adults.
What your Rising Sign's season is may be the season/months you prefer. For example, I'm a Sagittarius Rising and I tend to like late fall/early winter.
Your Moon sign can show how you process not just your emotions, but how you handle other peoples emotions, and how you relate to them. For example, a Leo Moon may relate to others by thinking of themselves in someone elses shoes, and how they would handle situations. While a Gemini Moon may relate other peoples emotions with stories from others that they've heard, and use what they've observed from other people to help others.
Venus PC Moon can also show this, I'd look at both sign's relationship to see the full picture of how one truly processes theirs and others emotions.
Moon/Pluto Aspects in someone's chart can show a relationship where however the mother treats the native, is how the native will end up treating her as they get older. For example, if the mother was negligent to the native in their younger years, then as they get older they will have a detached and impersonal attitude towards her. Basically the natives mirror how they were nurtured in youth.
"She say do you love me, I tell her only partly. I only love my bed and my mama I'm sorry." -Drake, a Cancer Moon.
People who say Gemini/Libra placements are indecisive have CLEARLY never met someone with many personal fire placements, especially if it's their top 3. Fire sign energy is naturally high and can be all over the place sometimes, this can include their thoughts and decision making as well, mostly concerning the direction of their passions and work. They may have a million ideas of what they're about to do but have trouble slowing down and planning it all out into managable chunks at a time. Will fight for what they want but may have trouble picking their battles wisely.
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HEY HEY, new post! I actually had this one in the drafts for awhile! I just got around to posting it now! I haven't been on at all lately because I'm having trouble finding what else to post about. Sooo I'm thinking of doing a little zodiac game soon since I want to practice my art more :] .
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More Nitro Nexus art!! I'm not sure when I'll be officially starting my Anthro's Anthem series with him but if I'm being honest I probably won't be releasing the first official chapter until like 2025-2026. I have a lot planned for it but I don't know when I'll get around to it. Only time will tell!
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