sometimes I wish I didn’t have to exist in the same spaces as men bc I went swimming today and then I wanted to go into the hot tub but it was full of old men who kept staring at my boobs
Sometimes, being on the spectrum feels like being forced to put on a mask that makes everyone around you feel better but inside it, I'm dying. It's a lot of forced smiles and pleasantries for me. Aside from the ASD, as someone with treatment resistant major depressive disorder, this is where I used to live all the time, putting on a happy face to please everyone around me.
And that's the theme of the artwork I'm sharing with you all today. "Put on Your Happy Face" by me. I take commissions and sell this stuff if you like it!
Family Ties is rarely on TV but of course when I manage to catch it, it's "Sweet Lorraine", literally my 2nd least favorite episode of the whole series and one that I always skip lol.
so as i said earlier my friend asked me if u had a crush on that guy in our major (spoiler alert : i don’t) and it made me feel so uncomfortable to know that my friends tried to « match me » « ship me » with a random guy because they are sure i’m the one in our friend group that’s gonna have a boyfriend first(even though they know i’m not straight it’s always boyfriends)
and even if in our discussions i turned it into a joke i actually feel so uncomfortable and awkward about it
i never thought about him that way, not even a second and that whole conversation and them trying to set me up with him, assuming i would have romantic attraction made me feel so invisible and uncomfortable
and having them both thinking about me having a crush and tryna decrypt everything i do it say…it might be a bit extreme but i kinda feel betrayed
can i just talk about one of my favourite pearl images?
technically two BUT I LOVE THEM. why?
aimsey is 4'11, and pearl is 6'0. in the first picture, aimsey is leaning on pearl's shoulder. either aimsey is standing on a box [sadly, i doubt it] or pearl is just CROUCHING DOWN ?????
also the second picture looks like pearl is once again crouching down to be level with aimsey, WHO SHE'S OVER A FOOT TALLER THAN 😭😭😭
they're just generally silly PLUS THEY LOOK SO HAPPY and i love their duo sm. like genuinely such an underrated duo and i wish we could get more interactions
my favourite pearl and aimsey interaction has to be valentine's day. pearl was streaming and it was late night for her [usual stream time] but for aimsey it was more late afternoon
aimsey comes into chat and xey just shout to pearl how they're going to do pottery with guqqie and pearl got so excited for him and asked to see it iirc
it was just such a genuinely sweet moment !!
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this part is unrelated to aimsey but pearl is just such a sweet person. i've extremely active in her chat and give bits every stream. my first stream i gave bits i talked about my unexplained chronic illness
do you want to know what she did?
she gave me a minute long message that still makes me cry to this day. i genuinely can't watch it bc i just instantly start crying
also yes she called me gaspie chat which is so funny to me. nowadays she calls me gasp or gasps but i do miss the gaspie chat day /hj
anyway, during last night's stream i talked about how i'm FINALLY going to get answers. after two years of constant sickness, i'm going to potentially get answers soon
she was so happy for me and hoped that i could finally get my answers soon before asking to give updates if i was comfortable
pearl is genuinely the nicest person i've ever seen in this community and her community shows that too. everyone is so kind to everyone that it's like taking a breath of fresh air
sorry [not really] for the big, rambling post, but i needed to say this