#so validate me

[qiinamii]

we'll do fine.

#fionna and cake spoilers #what hits me a little is how similar fionna and simon's stories are in the case of finding nuance in their lives #when both have gone through their separate but still valid pain no matter the extent it had been #and its that they met each other they get to see how it compares and they're no less worth of the peace and fun they dreamed of #even in the form of simplicity and just being normal #“i wouldn't have met THE fionna and cake” “we wouldn't have met THE simon petrikov” #it hits me harder that after the dandelion scene would've been their last time seeing each other physically #and how assuring simon sounded when fionna didn't know what to do with the literal world in her hands #tho im sure prismo isnt that much of a rule jerk lol i still drew out the revelation anyway with this tiniest addition #also the fact fionna's world is influenced by simon's thought processes and conditions so now things are a little better for both of them #fionna the human #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #qiiarts #the lil flashback of #betty grof #fionna and cake #adventure time

[sga-owns-my-soul]

reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head

#i can't reblog this from everyone so this is just me giving all my mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head #if u see this #*muah* #soft lil kissy on the head #and if u don't want one u can have a head pat #or i can lovingly send soft lovey vibes your way #all options are valid #idk i just #need to spread some love today #i'm tired and sad and stressed #so i'm giving u all some love #bc i need to fill myself with more of it #love u all hope u have/are having a good day #mutuals #not stargate

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[shapelytimber]

Calypso and the Pink Unicorn's pirate drag show !!!!!

[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]

Wee john served so hard it should be illegal 16 dead countless injured, I am dead Calypso was so hot

Process (and my french rant on why I hate the choice of la vie en rose) below vvv

Final without the text

Rough colors

Sketch !

Sorry english people, but what follows is too french an opinion to voice in english (I'll sum it up for u in the end <3)

Ok alors je suis désolé, Con o'Neill chante vraiment très bien ca n'a rien avoir avec sa performance, mais vraiment la vie en rose c pas possible. Le man est sur les champs Elysées a me vendre des tours Eiffel en plastique jpp- Franchement pipe et jambe de bois ca serai mieux passer. Ou les demons de minuit !!!!pourquoi pas les demon de minuit ?????? Chanson hyper connu française. Ok c moins cucu que la vie en rose, mais bonus point plus kinky (je pensais jamais decrire les demons de minuit comme etant kinky mais here we are-)

Ou juste n'importe quoi d'autre-

(And words of wisdom from my evil advisor @quijicroix : légende vivante (de Lorenzo) ça va avec tout. Ou une chanson triste de jul (pas bande organisée, tu peux pas ken dessus). Après tout le monde déteste la police ou nik le front national c les chansons les plus romantiques que je connaisse. Y a santiago aussi, avec le gros mat la. Les trois mâts, pour le steddyhands.)

Tout sauf la fucking vie en rose pitier (meme si, encore une fois, Con o'Neill la chante vraiment bien)

Welcome back english people ! To sum it up : la vie en rose is a french song for tourists that set up a fight or flight reaction in every native speaker. I'm glad people enjoyed this, but I cannot describe the cringe and disappointment I felt when they decided to have him sing this song- (even tho he sings it beautifully (which is part of the disappointment))

They are SO MUCH love songs in french, why this one.

PS : at this point (ep7) I don't know why Stede is still bothering with Ed "I'm hitting the banks didn't tell him which one" teach, when Izzy hands is right there ????? Sir please open your eyes

#I've never felt so validated by a show in my life #eat shit izzy haters !!!!!! How does it feel to loose this hard ?? hehehe #If you saw me post this with a huge typo in the title #No u did not #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #izzy hands #wee john feeney #wee john ofmd #izzy hands ofmd #drag show #drag queens #ofmd s2 ep6 #pirates #digital painting #illustration #art #my art #digital art #fanart #ofmd fanart #israel hands #prints

[iceeericeee]

Reblog if you think polyamorous people are valid

#I saw a post earlier about polyamory and apparently some people don’t agree with it so #here we are #I wanna see how many people think poly people are valid #and if you don’t think poly people are valid then please unfollow me #polyamory #polycule #polyamourous #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbtqplus #lgbtqa #poly pride #polyamourus pride

[deliciousnecks]

The Immigrant Experience: Early 19th Century

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #wwdits fx #wwditsedit #wwditsdaily #kayvan novak #you know what? #so valid bestie #also excuse me while i write Al-Quolanudar the correct way #1k

[the-agent-of-blight]

also, i really find it interesting how people can genuinely go about saying "Well this group isn't attacked for their identity so they can't be queer " while then turning around and. attacking said group. for their identity. and exemplifying classic __-phobic tropes. It's really dumb. You are being the thing that you claim does not exist

#this post is about the current aro discourse nonsense going about but is absolutely more generally applicable. #aromantic #aro #idk about anyone else but i always find the aphobia at least a little bit validating? in a weird way. because they're always saying #'you arent queer if you arent oppressed' or whatever bs. so whenever they turn around and. and attack us for being aro its like #they're showing me (and the rest of everyone) why i must be queer. by their own logic

[cube-cumb3r]

while im at it neopronoun opposition is weird to me as a swedish person.. the whole debate is so anglocentric that they assume every language landed on the same solution they did, to reuse a plural pronoun as a gender neutral one and then they think any other solution is absurd or unheard of. what do you mean you just made another pronoun up you cant do that!! etc

coz its like here in the 2014 the swedish academy accepted 3rd person pronoun "hen" (as opposed to hon/han) like officially into our word list after it gained some popularity in the 2010s. like that is a NEOPRONOUN that someone just Came Up With in like the 60s and then people just started using it and now its just a recognized part of our language. sure we could've also reused our plural pronoun "de/dem" as a gender neutral one but we just made up a new one instead. and to like imply that mainstream use of a neopronoun is just UNHEARD OF and that neopronouns is something the mainstream could NEVER GET USED TO EVER!!! is... your perspective is very limited to the english speaking world is all i can say

#now like it is pretty cool that the swedish academy did choose to include it in our word list even despite the conteoversy #because ofc there was conteoversy what do yoy MEAN youre CHANHING OUR LANGUAGE???? #but like even if that disnt happen the word still gained lots of traction before that and started being used #like smth doeant have to be accepted by the mainstream nevessairly to be valid anyway #some ppl are happy even if only their friends and loved ones r the ones using their neopronouns #so like. bleh #q-rambl3 #sorry for the many gender rambles these past weeks #i see so much discourse and it irritates me ans TBIS IS MY ONLY OUTLETTTT

[hailsatanacab]

"Well, this is a bad idea," Tim says, hands on his hips as he surveys the mess they’ve made in the cave.

"Nah," Danny replies, twirling his screwdriver in the air in what is probably meant to be an impressive trick to inspire confidence, except he fumbles it and it clangs to the floor loudly, "we good. If a younger version of myself hasn't come forward in time to stop me, how bad can it be?"

"Shouldn't it be the other way round?"

"What?"

"Normally, it's an older version of yourself going backwards in time to stop you, right?"

"Not in my experience."

Danny's grin is impossibly feral and a shiver runs up Tim's spine.

"This is definitely a bad idea."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #batpham #dead tired #dead tired ship #there is a more expanded upon version of this with actual backstory and context rotting in the recesses of my brain #but its only half on paper and the conversation made me laugh so #here: have some feral danny leading tim down a path to disaster #danny: this is going to go so well! i have such a good feeling about this!! #tim: this is going to go so poorly. i have such a bad feeling about this. #danny: 🥺🙏🙏🙏 #tim: i never said we weren’t doing it. i just reserve the right to tell you i told you so when it inevitably goes wrong #danny: leave that to younger me - he always makes very valid points in the form of fists to the face! #tim: can you stop talking please this is making me want to do it less #danny: no.

[shwarmii]

i just heard one of my favorite youtubers say this meme out loud in a video and the pronounciation FLOORED ME so now i gotta know:

poll is just "which way do you say it"; tags is "which way is right", assuming your answer to "which way is right" is different to "which way do you say it". or i guess tags are also for uhhhhhh if your answer is complicated and if you wanna explain, if you have a diff way of pronouncing (pls tell meeeee), or whatever else you want, im not your parents, idk

#i just.. diDNT THINK THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY TO PRONOUNCE IT??? #but i heard [redacted pronounciation] and i just went ''pÁŔƊÓŃ???'' so i tried to think of all possible ones? #forgive me if theres already been a poll on this; i didnt see it and thus didnt know #edit: fuck!!! i just realizied you could combine the last two like i couldve made ''be o bo'' and ''bo be o'' each an option #if oNE OF THOSE TWO ARE THE MAJORITY (not that i expect many votes at all. but still!!) IMMA BE (1) SHOOK AND (2) McFUCKING BAFFLED #edit: wow. i thought id be lucky to get 20 in a week with my follower count. okay. damn. youre sweet ♡ also ''Boo boo''s you are so valid #im sorry i did not think to add you as an option. you are so right

[zhoras-bitch]

Riz Gukgak will forever be my special little guy, because in a world where aspec characters are borderline non-existent, he was not just a cool character who happened to be aroace. He also had an incredibly compelling character arc unique to him as an aspec, and the character arc was so iconic it birthed one of the most memed moments in the entire series.

#tbc im not saying every aspec character's arc should be focused on their aspec identity #in fact it would get very annoying very fast #however aspec experience is so rarely addressed in anything ever #watching riz was so incredibly validating to me #in a way nothing else had ever been #at that time #dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak #bitch speaks

[teaboot]

My younger brother asked me to cut his hair tomorrow so I asked him what kinda style he wanted and he said "can you cut it like yours?"???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 excuse me I'll need to be emotional now

#He knows I'm not a lady but he's like the only one on that side of my family so it's kind of insanely validating and sweet? #Like oh fuck this kid wants us to match he actually LIKES me maybe I'm doing this 'brothers' thing right #He's the best guys #Love this rat bastard

[jesncin]

Another day at the Daily Planet with Clark and Lois~

This one is for the Crazy Ex Girlfriend enjoyers,,

#superman #clark kent #lois lane #dc comics #crazy ex girlfriend #fanart #fancomic #jl remix #my art #comic #the new my adventures with supes show is gonna validate so many asian lois headcanons #it's me asian lois headcanon #she's SEA 2nd gen jaded immigrant to me

[morganbritton132]

Eddie, posting to Tiktok: Of course, we watch Leverage. I think Eliot is hot and Steve is a criminal.

Steve: I love her *pointing to Sophie Devereaux* I’d let her rob me blind.

Steve:

Steve: *realizing what Eddie said*

Steve: Stop telling people I’m a criminal!

#Eddie: You are. you stole my heart #Steve: You GAVE it to me #Steve is completely valid in his very correct opinion about Sophie #And so is Eddie #eddie munson tiktok saga #steve harrington #eddie munson

[enitsirk]

A Coward in Love

#I FINISHED #I WAS INSANE FOR THIS HONESTLY #but anything for my sad furry man #god this scene was so heartbreaking #hobs paranoid conclusions and ultimately self debasement is truly so tragic #Brennan fight me at the back of dennys #please one grain of happy ruehob pls #ruehob #captain kp hob #acofaf #a court of fey and flowers #fey and flowers #dimension 20 fanart #dimension 20 #d20 art #d20 #my art #kp hob #brennan lee mulligan #someone validate me and tell me my hob is hot #captain k.p. hob #battlemaster of ceremonies